#just experiencing feelings
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HHDKDENOSHSODKFOCJDJDKDKDK
*grabs you by the shoulders*
THE TV MAN, THE TEEVEE MAAAANNNNNN
#just experiencing feelings#ill be fine tomorrow#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox#vox#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel
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Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.
#transandrophobia#transmasculine experiences#antitransmasculinity#transmisandry#im so exhausted from both cis and trans people acting like trans men choosing to engage with femininity as much or as little as we want is#somehow a statement on how we feel about women#and not just our own personal comfort#make all the forced fem jokes you would like#but remember those of us who were forced to be feminine#actually experienced serious trauma from that#and deserve a space to talk about it
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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In my mind palace my tav and Astarion are playing the exact same game of 5D chess and they don't realize it yet
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#bg3 tav#my art#gabby plays bg3#shadowheart#and#lae'zel#are also here#anyway tag ramble time just got the romance scene where you can hug him and on my knees.....this guy.....#astarion: hey i was kinda sleeping with you to save my ass but turns out im feeling real emotions now#matt marja: wtf. me too. this is so embarrassing for both of us we're idiots [tenderly hold hands]#i thought up matt for a campaign we may or may not play last year and deciding to play him in bg3 because i thought it would be funny#to put him against this guy who seemingly has many of his same issues. Best idea i've ever had. the emotional catharsis im experiencing#matt marja
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does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship
#supernatural#dean winchester#spn#destiel#castiel#deancas#misha collins#im 20 i have been Experiencing supernatural and johnlock since i was 12 and merthur since wayy before that i have fought Wars#this is crazy#i love u hannibal i love u 911 (if u make eddie gay)#for the love of god by 'mostly headcanoned' i dont mean that it was never intentional#i am aware that they put the subtext in on purpose#they knew what they were doing#but my focus here is on the actor actually saying it because like#if its not mostly headcanoned then y was the entire cast denying it for years AND YEARS#like do yall not remember what jared and jenesn used to say#there have been many many many instances where the cast has made us feel crazy/stupid for saying anything abt destiel#im just saying TO ME its crazy that actors and creators talk so openly about these things now !!! again i was raised on merlin and sherlock#ok also im confused on the queerbaiting part#everyones saying its queer coding and not queer baiting but cant they be true at the same time ?#im not being dumb on purpose i swear im just confused#like yes dean is very much bi coded and their relationship is queer coded but if the creators deny everything#and we only get a last minute confession after 11 years#that doesnt count as queer baiting ?#someone smart explain this to me 🙏
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fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started
#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional#because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life#the dissatisfaction#the hoping for something more#something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work#it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us#and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out#exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see#there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper#I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well#😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters#and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist#when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them#to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well#Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too#I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult#my art#fanart#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna the human#cake the cat#simon petrikov
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EMOTIONAL WIN ! ! the bug lets his emotions make decisions for once !
#when ur bug has rsd#mf needs affirmations after everything man#ppl expect a mystery fantasy drama but its gonna end up being a story abt learning how to experience being yourself#a whole story just about experiencing emotions and how amazing and beautiful that can be#( with a side serving of heavily autistic experiences)#get praaaaankeed#i really dont get kissing but here it sorta made sense i think#kissing with mandibles must be a bit difficult#shoutout to unhinged jaw#chasing stars au#adventure time#fionna and cake#adventure time au#Sīdus the Fallen star#prismo the wishmaster#the carmine cavalier#scarab the god auditor#prohibitedwish#this technically has a part 1 but i didnt line it or anything- i may add it onto this later if i feel like it#Sīdus is the one to usually instigate stuff but he makes sure Carma is the one to go further#kinda just letting him know that hes there for him but no matter what he gets to choose what hes comfortable with-#when hes in such an unfamiliar situation
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i see this jason todd who actually looks his very young age (instead of the 30yr old man that comics like to portray)
and feel my heart breaking just imagining bruce beating him up, almost killing him, mind-breaking him, and just overall being a total piece of shit father towards him.
a huge chunk of the reason why people don't view bruce's actions towards jason as abusive or wrong is because jason doesn't look his age. he's drawn to be this 35yr old father of three who looks even older than dick (and way too on par with bruce) that people see their fights as one between batman and any of his regular rogues. when they fight, it just looks like batman is fighting a man his age and not an actual young person. it doesn't look like batman is fighting his son who's barely even drinking age (and who def wasn't drinking age in utrh). their fights are portrayed in a way that eliminates the very real power struggle between them.
this applies to jason's entire character as well. a lot of people don't sympathize with how he died or his actions as robin or his fights with the other bats because he doesn't look his age. he always looks older and scarier than everyone else. tim has many sympathizers from the titans tower incident because jason just looked like a grown man fighting a 12yr old (even tho i disagree, tim was built and like 17 lmfao).
anyways, i just wish comics would actually draw jason to look his age, which literally ranges from 19 to early twenties. he's young- so young, and it's so annoying to see him drawn and written as someone older than even bruce.
#the way everyone in jason's robin run saw him as this adult despite him being 12-15#like what the fuck#just because a child has experienced more than the average adult doesn't make him any less of a child#it's like the typical groomer thought process#if jason was shown younger in arkham knigjt for example there'd be less people calling him whiny#they showed 15yr old jason's torture scenes like he was a 25 yr old#he should've been shown as the small child he was#it would've put more perspective into how cruel and fucked it was of the rogues to torture a literal child#and then bruce almost killing him in rhato...#now imagine if jason looked his age there#honestly this all just feeds into the idea that jason feels too small for his big body#imagine being this tiny kid growing up and then dying and coming back to life as this tank#arghhhhh!!!!!#jason todd#red hood#batman#jason peter todd#bruce wayne#jason todd deserves better
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Some ep 7 lukas from both routes
#mcsm#mcsm fanart#minecraft story mode#mcsm lukas#i always loved how differently portrayed both characters are on the same situation#like petra and lukas both say the same thing but says it in such different ways it feels different#i like how lukas sounds like this is the worst thing he's ever experienced while petra just sounds like shes in mild pain LMAOO
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How was Astarion during Kits birth? I feel like he’d panic tbh
i think he would be his regular flippant self to hide that he was SHITTING BRICKS
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#tavstarion#dadstarion#i feel like he ALMOST pushed it too far but not quite#because like. he’s a shit. but he does love him and this is a LOT#i also just don't think he's experienced someone he cares about being in pain and not being able to do anything about it#someone give him a hug#i am working through all my asks i swear#i like answering them like this
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my martha knight au in a nutshell:
Danny/Martha: see up here?
Danny/Martha: *taps skull*
Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage
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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*
Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--
Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--
Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--
Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--
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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself
Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)
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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid
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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--
Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!
Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?
Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)
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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.
Danny/Martha: do you understand me
Falcone:... crystal, ma'am
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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*
Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*
Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--
(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)
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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.
Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.
Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]
#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it#im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#fem danny fenton#female danny fenton#martha knight au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dp x dc#giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks#points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread#LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY#bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away#martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades#marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed#what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make#the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all#fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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I just desperately want more recognition of traumagenic experiences that lie outside of the usual "childhood abuse" assumption that everyone forces on that label. what about trauma from bullying? what about trauma from undiagnosed illnesses? what about trauma from queer experiences like transphobia? what about trauma from medical experiences like surgeries, hospitalizations, psych wards, and other areas where the medical field failed you? what about trauma from eating disorders? what about trauma from racism?
there are so many experiences that can fall under traumagenic, but are yet swept under a rug in favor of a strict, stereotypical narrative that's easier to comprehend. I think we as a community need to make an active effort to expand our understanding of traumagenic, especially where it may overlap with experiences traditionally considered endogenic, and understand that trauma can come in so many different forms. so often people are shunned for trying to create roles and labels that describe their specific traumagenic experiences, and I don't understand why. there can be no progress towards acceptance for all systems if we don't accept that traumagenic is an umbrella label too.
#dollerium speaks#🎠 | reona (he/she/doll/bun/eld/spell)#this came out very rambly#but just know if you have trauma that's considered 'not traditional' or 'not enough'#I see you and I appreciate you#plural#plural things#actually plural#pluralgang#plural system#actually did#hc did system#did osdd#a lot of these are things we experienced in life that 100% contributed to our system's function#and yet it feels like we're not allowed to talk about them#because they're not the 'usual' accepted trauma that's discussed in traumagenic spaces#pro endo#endo safe#endo safe blog
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I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#today was….not good#and at one point i had a moment#where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it#but im still really hopeful it will happen some day#because all i want in this world is to feel secure#and for others to feel secure around me#and for everyone to feel secure around people they love#because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t#but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all#im manifesting it#im completely okay btw things just got a little rough#and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay#im gay and i like sleeping#also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever#im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight
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Fandoms can be so blatantly aphobic and the moment any aspec person points this out it's "stop ruining our fun!"
Fandom erasing an aspec character and it's "The character didn't have a canon sexuality" "People have different headcanons!" "let people have fun!"
Fandom ships an aro/aroace character and erasing their aromanticism and it's "some aro people date!" "it's actually a QPR (lie)" "You're homophobic!" "Who cares? let people have fun!" "It's not hurting anyone!!!" "You're just hating on my ship!!! you're starting ship discourse!!!" "It's just a ship it's not real!!!"
Fandom will purposefully make characters they dont like "Heartless" "Unlovable" "they dont feel love" and justify it with "They're awful and terrible and evil" and "no it's not aphobic! you're aphobic actually for assuming these are connected to aspec people at all uwu"
Fandom will create soulmate AUs and when aspec people express how aphobic those AUs tend to be they throw a fit and say "it's just fiction! it doesn't hurt anyone!" "Platonic soulmates exist!!!" "You're just a hater!!!"
it's always "Stop ruining OUR fun" ignoring the fact that the are actively hurting aspec communities by consistently pushing and normalizing aphobia and amatonormativity within fandom spaces. Because aphobia is their fun. They don't want us in their spaces unless we conform to their comforts.
#text#fandom#aphobia#aspec#aro#ace#aromantic#asexual#loveless aro#loveless#this is mostly aro and ace specific becuz its what i have experienced but aplatonics an other a-attractions feel free to add ur experiences#im sure there are a ton against you guys that i just havent seen#romance mention
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