#just exhuasted
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I am in so much pain all of the time I just wish I could have one second of pure relief
#◞ angel's musings ᛝ ࣪ ◟#chronic illness vent#im not sad or angry#just exhuasted#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic pain#fibromyalgia#chronic disease#jirai danshi#jirai kei#jiraiblogging#jiraiblr#jirai blogging#landmineblr#lifestyle landmine#reasons why i rot!#mental illness (wahh too hard to move)#chornic illness (wahh to painful to move)#if i wasnt mentally ill id still be chronically ill and id stull struggle to live eugh#Okay this is probabky awful yo say#but i fucking get why some people get addicted to painkillers#if i had access?? dude.#id be so done for
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In case nobody asks you today, how are you? are you tired? have you eaten? let's go to bed, i’ll hold you. we don’t have to talk. i promise.
#spilled heart#spilled ink#spilled words#spilled thoughts#spilled emotions#my words#words#spilled prose#you broke my heart#love#too tired#mentally tired#chronic fatigue#im hurtin#exhuasted#spilled love#quotes#heartbreak#spilled tears#spilled feelings#spilled truth#spilled poetry#wlw yearning#spilled poem#thoughts#sad thoughts#depressing shit#random thoughts#kinda depressing#im just tired
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i think my neurologist cursed me.
#'you need more sleep and less caffiene'#cut to today. absolutely exhuasted. felt compelled to throw my monster out only half-finished#no idea why i did that. i just felt like i had to#boycritter et al
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How are you this week? Sending love 🫶🏻
Hnnnggggg.... I survived 😅 I got tomorrow off work, so I'm hoping I can recharge a little, but... We'll see 😅 but it's really sweet you wanted to ask! ^^
How was your week? ^^
#im trying to file my taxes for the first time and its giving me so much trouble#my job hasnt changed buch but this week its just felt so exhuasting for some reason#it definitely feels like my creative juices are draining and im trying to keep a hold of them because i WANT TO WRITE#just in general im trying to survive independent adult hood#can i have the benefits of being a child while also being an adult? XD#anyways mini rant over im sorry#anon asks
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Withdrawing from social life and then wondering why I'm lonely
#I do not have the energy to see people irl and its getting harder online too#just so exhuasted from school and more people at home but I miss people#it will get better#but i do feel like my mental health is slipping
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heynhay klance animatic when?? 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 with all that free time of yours
#I NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO YOU FUCKERS#NEVER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU SHIT.#the answer to your question is. never. because for some reason i have no problem cranking out 50 separate concept drawings#but having to do 50 sequential drawings within the same concept seriously drains me#like even those mini comics when i finish (and they only have 3-6 drawings) im like WHEW that has a kick to it#im gasping panting on the verge of throwing up from exhuastion#which is all a shame becuase when driving to work i visualize some absolutely bangin ones#too bad you will never see it#ok ok maybe someday id do like. a short one. a sampler. like 30s.#but its also a matter of i dont know how to use/access any of the programs used for boarding on timelines#so it would just be a mess of folders on one psd or a mess of 50 dif psds#its exhausting me to even think upon rn#ask
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i usually dont like to point at white people and blame them for ruining everything
but i must point at white people and blame them for ruining sports for everyone
yall are entitled little whinny bitches, get good or dont compete morons
#tired#exhuasted even#your fucking olimpics discourse is shit and you just suck at acepting defeat#you people are shitty losers worse than 13 yos in fortnite lobbies#talk about the generation that cried when their kids didnt got participation trophies
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hey guys what does it mean when you never have energy for anything like ever. like you literally cannot bring yourself to do anything all day. i cant even do the things i like. im just tired all the time. im exhausted. i feel like im on 1% battery 99% of the time. why has it always been like this for me. why haven't i grown out of it. why can't i just do things.
#im TRYING to fight myself on going back into my room and sleeping#i have to clean up#i dotn have the energy for anything#and then it takes me 50 billion hours to sleep at night#even if i dont nap during the day#even if i go months without napping#during those months it still takes me 50 million hours to fall asleep#my body wants to sleep during the day and wants to never ever sleep at night#i dont have motivation or energy at night#im still exhuasted i just simply Dont Sleep#why cant i just be normal!!!!!!#whats wrong with me!!!!!!!#why am i so lazy!!!!!!!!
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no running water, my phone is broken, I am not doing well my dudes (gn)
#im on the verge of a breakdown I'm exhuasted#I just don't understand why things just can't work out for me
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I think the entire month of October I’m just going to stay off the search feature
#not to kink shame#but quite literally I just say maybe five#non con fics#in a row#and like it’s good that they tagged them#but having to endlessly scroll#to get to fics that aren’t extremely heavy#is kinda exhuasting#so I think I’m just going to focus#on my own writing#also not saying that like#anyone should stop#just that I probably won’t be reading a lot this month lol
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i think part of the reason im gunning so much for q!skephalo is bc its our best shot at an actual "dark romance" plot that's not uncomfortable cause its about two mortals. (im just gonna use romance terms cause thats easier, but since its bbh, its more like queerplatonic).
q!bad is immortal and got some skewed morals because of that, and the way he acts with love should be the same. when bad tortures foolish, it's fun because they're both immortals, and foolish finds it amusing since he cant be killed. but if bad tortured one of his friends like baghera, whos assumingly mortal, thats just...fucked up. she would undoubtedly view it as an immoral act.
so if q!bad does have a romance arc, im gonna expect him to be feral about it! i want to see how his demon side affects the relationship! and to keep it from getting toxic in a bad way, it needs to be with someone who can understand and match his bloodlust, his possessiveness, his intensity.
if he ends with someone who can't match that, then the dark romance is just upsetting, which could be some people's cup of tea, but really doesn't fit the setting imo. it's like how c!skephalo functioned: they killed both the world and each other, and still came back together, and we can all just enjoy that. ofc i dont think q!skephalo is on that level, but we could still get some very fun narratives with their immortality. if q!skeppy, yknow. actually exissted in the narrative.
#idk why this post is so long its just really hard to explain why immortal x immortal romance tropes are so fun#cause you can break the limits of human mortality#with none of the exhuasting 'oh thats unhealthy they should break up because they make each other worse'#cause no theyre just equal parts deranged and no one else can handle them#so ofc they must stick together
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saw a vid on someone commenting about how vis eyeshadow goes so hard every time which is true but genuinely where does that eyeshadow come from that girl does not have time to do makeup shes running around the undercity. what
#and liek sureeee it could be bruises from all the times shes been punched on top of the exhuastion#but nah those colors do not look likethat#im so curious about how she just ahs her eyes ready to go#arcane
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In 24 hours, how much time do I really have for myself?
#spilled heart#spilled ink#spilled words#spilled thoughts#spilled emotions#my words#words#spilled prose#love#you broke my heart#thoughts#sad thoughts#spilled love#quotes#heartbreak#spilled tears#spilled writing#spilled feelings#spilled truth#wlw yearning#sadnees#depressing shit#random thoughts#kinda depressing#fiction#exhuasted#im just tired#too tired#creative writing#spilled journal
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i did soooooo much today:)
#frankie posts#a lot off my list got done#still more to do. as always. as is life#trying not to. exhuast myslef#also i spen t maybe two hours trying tk get that astarion durge dialogue and i just xant get him to speak up for durge¿#augh i know i havent tried every combination tho but im sleepy tired so i’ll try more tomorrow maybe
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