#just do it if you want :p
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Every time I see news of crowds agitating against Israel outside a synagogue, or museum, or Jewish day school full of children, or restaurant, or educational event, and so on in the US, every time my thought is why the fuck aren't you holding this 'protest' at city hall? Or your state legislature? Or your federal reps' offices?
A random Jewish institution in the United States has absolutely zero power to affect the decisions made by Israel's parliament or military. You're not "raising awareness" or "drawing attention to the issue" because the general public of the US is already at least somewhat aware thanks to the news, and Jewish people are in fact one of the groups in the US to be the most fucking aware of what's going on.
If you are upset by US military aid going to Israel, you need to convince your federal representatives to change that. Those reps do not base US military foreign aid policy on random US citizens harassing other US citizens.
If you want the US to provide more civilian relief in the form of food, medicine, or helping refugees come here, you need to convince reps at every level. Can your city partner with a refugee organization to arrange housing? Can your governor arrange scholarships or exchange programs to state universities? Can the feds channel more funds to Doctors Without Borders?
Do a write and call-in campaign. Hold your protest at legislatures. File a petition. Do something to directly express your desires to the elected officials who have a direct say in policy.
We've held protests at city halls and state legislatures and federal buildings for centuries. Why aren't you doing so for this issue?
Why are you macing people attending synagogue? They have no more power over elected officials' choices than you do.
Why are you screaming at schoolchildren? They have less power over elected officials' choices than you do.
Why are you blocking entrance to a museum? Hold a fundraiser to build your own, if you want to educate people so badly!
I know the antisemites don't actually care about US military & foreign aid policy. I know the racists are simply reveling in an excuse to whip up a mob to attack Jews. It's obvious.
But if you really, truly want to help the people of Gaza, you need to stop being part of that hateful mob, and organize your own, real political actions that directly engages with your elected representatives.
#antisemitism#activism#government policy#I/P#all of the examples are real yes including the fucking mace it happened in LA#DO YOU WANT TO HELP PEOPLE OR DO YOU WANT TO INDULGE IN HATRED#because you can't do both#anger can be channeled into something productive#hate just destroys#sidenote there are already many nongovernment organizations that help refugees and displaced people#so you can find them and assist them in their work#in addition to engaging with gov reps
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Well. Every tmnt artist has to turn them into humans eventually, I suppose.
Sorry for not posting a ton lately, I have been................. playing fire emblem three houses.............. busy............ Also I've been feeling a little burned out on art, admitedly. Don't worry, it's very much temporary! Last month was just pretty high tempo for me, expecially with the Cell Talk comic, so I just needed to take a short break from drawing to also play fire emblem but I'm getting back into an art-mood now! I decided to draw humanified turtles as a bit of a warm up basically, I've been wanting to do it for quite some time so it was just a fun little thing for me :]
Anyway, some thoughts about the designs-
A lot of people draw Leo as blonde, and I was fully intending to draw him blonde as well, but then I just wanted to see what he'd look like with brown hair instead and I just.... liked that a bit more, so he's a brunette now. Also he has dimples because of course he has dimples. And Mikey has freckles because OF COURSE he has freckles! And Donnie ALSO has freckles because he's my blorbo and I give all my blorbos freckles cuz they're neat. All of them have pretty small eyebrows except for Donnie because he fills them in with makeup. I thought for a while of how I would translate Leo's facial markings into his human design, and I ended up settling for birthmarks (also some red eyeliner cuz his face needs a bit of red on it)
#these human designs may or may not appear in the TSAU for plot reasons i shall not yet disclose#except for donnie lol#actually it's not really a spoiler hold on#you know in the first episode of the show with those lackeys draxum hired to capture mayhem?#and how they were wearing cloaking brooches?#yeah the drax bros are gonna take their place in the au lol#yes i just wanted an excuse to draw them as humans but also i have very valid plot reasons to do so >:P#tizel art#my art#digital art#illustration#tmnt#rottmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#leonardo#donatello#raphael#michelangelo#rottmnt human#rottmnt human design#tmnt human#tmnt human design
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"Yes! Show me the power of the Red Crown! I have missed it so..."
#fellas is it gay to enjoy someone trying to kill you with your former source of power#don't worry they're just playing :)))))#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl fanart#my art#roxirincotl#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cult of the lamb fanart#tw: blood#tw: gore#narilamb#cotl narilamb#it's not my most polished piece really but I wanted to get it finished so this is what you get :P#'why are they nakey' you ask?#why not? :)#they're not doing anything untoward in this tho#not yet anyway ;)
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oh right, technically i sell t-shirts
i forgot about that
#holidays are coming up and it would make a terrible gift#that's the main selling point#anyways these exist and can be exchanged for legal tender#the cost is the listed price + the emotional expense of knowing that i am judging u#bc i am. i am judging u#why would u want this. why would u exchange currency for this#there are so many other things you could exchnage currency for instead#a grocery store shrimp platter for instance#with the nauseatingly red cocktail sauce that is SO much better than a t shirt any time#hmm chicken picatta at a local Italian Eatery perchance? i am. a big fan of anything picatta#oh oh i know! 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH OKRA#FOR THE COST OF THIS FRIVOLOUS T SHIRT U COULD INSTEAD PURCHASE 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH DELICIOUS OKRA#and then --hold on i have a recipe--and then what u do is#so it is basically sacrilege to suggest this but what u do is u skip the cornmeal entirely#my southern ancestors are shaking a wooden spoon at me right now but LISTEN. u skip. the gotdang. cornmeal#instead: wash chop and soak (for 10 min) the okra in a mixture of 1 egg to tblsp water#then coat in flour#THATS IT JUST FLOUR#No cornmeal. i am betraying my heritage rn but I'm RIGHT#coat in flour sprinkle liberally in S&P and FRY that suck in veg oil high heat#until crispy & brown & u hear your arteries clenching in apprehension#so. so yeah#that's what u should do instead of buying this shirt go fry the shit out of some okra#(but buy local and young & tender if u can bc the grocery store is full of old-and-therefore-super-stiff specimens#pro tip (aka grandma tip): if u can't chop okra smoothly with your normal cutting knife then it's too old and tough.#...i mean u probably CAN still fry the shit out of it I've certainly done that before it's just much less delicious#ANYWAY. anyway ANYWAY. shirt. okra. farmers market. that reminds me of a post i made back when we first started selling these dang shorts#shirts. shorts shorts. oh shit i should make a crop top option.#i. i don't Know How to make a crop top option#HUH . . . i need to lie down now and contemplate the constant and irreconcilable limitations of the human experience good night
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that just confirmed what i already knew which is that i never ever ever want to see them kiss like even that was way too much for me i kept saying “ew” and covering the screen. girl back tf up. their faces should never be that close together on god’s internet.
#leave room for jesus pls#those are my blood relatives i don’t wanna see anything#those of you who draw and write them kissing are so scary to me#not even from a perspective of like ‘ew rpf’#just from like… do y’all really want to see that 😭😭#they’re so funny though#fucking idiots i love them so much#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#yeet my deet#daniel howell#amazingphil#phil lester#danisnotonfire#yeet my deenp#no but seriously imagine it#wwwy 2024#phanniversary#d&p#danandphilgames#dapg#dip and pip#tmogar#hbdnell
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Something I really don't understand is this obsession the anti-Israel crowd (in the West) have with death and martyrdom. All they care about is dying, and often killing for their cause; I see nothing about building a better future that isn't based on the murder of 9 million Israelis.
It's easy to die for a cause. The challenge is living to make a better tomorrow.
#jumblr#antisemitism#i/p#killing yourself and others does nothing to promote peace. frankly killing others is just terrorism in this scenario#if you want peace then you should be workng with jews and israelis#deal with antisemitism islamophobia and the rot in the knesset to move towards a two state solution#anything other than a two state solution is discrimination and death#dying for your cause is not cute or progressive. its lazy because you didnt want to put in the effort to do real work moving forwards#jews are 0.2 of the worlds population. if you refuse to engage with them you are the problem#majority voice doesnt mean correct. it just means loud#if your voice is leading to people killing themselves then you need to take a long hard look in a mirror
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if anyone is gonna rally the 1-A boys into playing dumb dress-up games, it's mina 💕
#no idea what the scenario is here-- maybe tokoyami had hawks merch and they all just try it on????? u kno they all like him hahah#who's your fave? hehe <3 and what do you want mina to request next? ;p#mha#mha art#bnha#my hero academia#mina ashido#eijiro kirishima#bakugou katsuki#deku#izuku midoriya#fumikage tokoyami#tenya lida#shouto todoroki#hanta sero#denki kaminari#mha headcanons#mha fic#kirimina#class 1a#my hero art#my hero fanfic#pjseveryday#illustration#digitial art#anime art#fanart
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KyDizzy <3
#guilty gear#ky kiske#dizzy kiske#dizzy gets the surname because she's gonna marry him anyway XD#sometimes you get hit with the desire to draw for a fandom you consumed via Wikipedia and online tournaments and you just gotta do it#been wanting to draw Dizzy since her announcement. ky's just along for the ride :P
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#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#criminalmindsverse#proceduraledit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#cmverse#cmverseedit#criminal minds evolution#cmevolutionedit#tvedit#filmtvcentral#dailyflicks#ladiesblr#femalecharacters#bitchys#mine#edit#*#internal*#evidence*#p r o o f#i have been struggling for AGES with how i wanted to do a set pairing the lauren arc and the 'play along' scene#and then cme just gifted me this perfect container scene *chef's kiss* i know there's hella nuance that needs to be read into this set#(like the warehouse scene is really just representative of her mindset undercover) but i think you guys Get It#otp: you are who you pretend to be#(feels so ... to use that tag on this set specifically but it's also exactly how i ship them - as emily's coping mechanism - so!!!)#someday i will let go of the lauren arc. someday. (no i won't.)#criminal minds evolution spoilers#(tag issue resolved!! sorry for the duplicate set guys you'll never guess what the issue word was)
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heere she is..… my illithid tav creature....… my sunshine goth pink sparkle princess paladin.… naive -2 int will drop a divine smite a-bomb on whoever threatens her lynchpin bf…... loyal lapdog to the very end, won't break her oath so she is the most cringefail starving mindflayer in toril.... Qurrn ✨🦑☀️
#basically she follows the emperor around to protect him#and he orchestrates some kind of scheme where she won't break her oath but also is able to do his bidding and increase his political power#because she is absurdly strong and can wipe out his enemies#(any of you played a 2H mindflayer pally? it's p broken)#he takes credit and uses her good deeds for his own ends#she doesn't realize or care#she just wants to love him#I think he uses her at first and begrudgingly doles out the extreme amounts of squid cuddles she requires#but eventually falls for her in his own way#anyway that's them :3#I hope u like her :3#mindflayer#illithid#my art#qurrn#illithid tav#bg3#bg3 emperor#emperor bg3
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Ace has a front row seat to the soon-to-be greatest event in NRC history-
based on this pic--
the energy this exudes will always crack me up-
heres a wip btw >_>
fun fact! originally grim was gonna be O_O at Jamil too, but then i remembered that grim doesnt have an ounce of awareness in him rip
#twst#twisted wonderland#art#ram's art#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#ace trappola#deuce spade#twst grim#uhhhh yea this is like. messy and stuff#i just wanted to break my art block that ive been stuck in for over a month with a joke lol#can you tell that i drew azul in the first pic without a reference---- i hope not lol??--------#i /was/ gonna do the bg as the scarabia dorm - like they all got invited to a meal or something but i needed to finsih this man --#-its been a wip for a literal month p l s#also- shout out to the cherry pie and table that were gonna have more stuff done to them but sai straight up said 'no more layers allowed:]#anyways rip azul - nice knowing ya
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hi i can no longer act coy or hope that a job will come in time so im coming to everyone really embarassingly with my issues
in June I attempted to get fired from/left my job after having a really embarassing public meltdown due to having Rapid-Cycling Mixed Bipolar and the unending stress of that job of 3+ years. I've been struggling to get a job afterwards due to being in CA without a vehicle, and i'm currently working on an overdue commission so could not open up any more.
Soon after, my mother's car imploded, and a series of incidents related to a used engine and taking out a loan with a friend has left her both needing to pay back the loan and still needing to get a new car, putting her thousands in the hole.
my mother has allowed me to not worry about paying rent while unemployed, but now the person living with us is moving out, so it will be on me and my mother to pay rent, upping mine from $300 to $500 a month. I am currently job hunting with good prospects, but I am still in need of some assistance.
I DO NOT WANT TO ASK FOR DONATIONS WITHOUT GIVING SOMETHING IN RETURN, I have a very bad time taking help from people without doing something in return because I do not want people to feel like they Have to give me money or help me, I want to Offer something in return for that money, even in a situation like this, because I want everyone to come out on the other end feeling fulfilled, so I'm offering some (slow) cheaper commissions I can work on in between the bigger comm I owe.
My kofi is always open for donation sketches ---- you can donate the minimum amount (or whatever you prefer) and get a drawing like this of anything as long as you put it into the donation message!
i cant currently take on big commissions as I have one i owe and the commissioner is a very generous person who has been waiting a good few months for me to finish one during this hectic time, but if you're interested in getting something a little higher quality for a donation, a $30-50 USD donation can get you a ''simple commission'' styled drawing --- that is, you give me a prompt and character refferences (ocs or fanart, up to 2-3 characters depending on complexity), and I draw them like below (color complexity depends on price, the higher the amount the more the color).
You wont have access to revisions to make this as fast as possible, so i HIGHLY reccomend only getting fanart comms of these and to make sure you really like my style!!
this is one of those situations where I DEEPLY reccomend people do not donate unless they want something in return, if you dont wanna ask for a drawing or anything i reccomend going to people in more dire circumstances and helping them out with your donation!!!
but if you want to help me help my mother get out of a bad financial situation and get a little drawing in return, you can do a small dono and att a message of what you want doodled, or you can email me at [email protected] your $30-50 donation reciept and what you would like me to draw, and ill try to get them as soon as I can
thank you so much for checking this post out and keep it real old school!!!!! i promise once this is over and i get a job we'll be back to your regularly scheduled art posting
[EDIT: PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG THIS VERSION. I AM NO LONGER TAKING THE SIMPLE COMMISSION TIER. REBLOG THE ADDITION TO THIS POST GIVING AN UPDATE]
#i usually lock these posts cause i feel bad having a donation post circulate but this one time i wont#i dont know why i jsut feel so ashamed how much ive had to ask for money these past 2 years. i think its been p rare up until recently#but i hate doing it at all because i feel like a teenager again and it makes me feel horrible#so thats why i dont want just donos w nothing attached puh lease let me draw you something 😭😭😭😭
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not the only one who bites
bonus bcuz i like the last frame:
#yes u can set that as your pfp if you want just credit me#listen i know i forgot to add the hoodie strings at the first few panel but pretend their inside the hoodie for some reason#this was the wip i was talking about#decided to finish it today :3#Gaz: “I don't even want to know...”#Ghost's usually the one doing the biting but Price is also a biter#if he want to#:p#Ghost's gonna beg Price for a big chomp cuz he's a sick freak like that#anyways i am eepy so i will unfortunately sleep instead of doodling more#gummmyart#doodle#priceghost#ghostprice#simon ghost riley#simon riley#captain john price#john price#captain price#kyle gaz garrick
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Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose#raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner#leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes#(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl)#(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink)#(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him)#but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone#like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like#‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be���#or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like#‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’#‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’#‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’#‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘#SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF#(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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