#just constantly fucking tired and I’m getting sick of it but I never have time and when I do I just want to rest cause I’m fucking exhauste
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okcoolthanks · 20 days ago
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Fuckikkkkkkkk thursday tomorrowwwwww
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chrollogy · 3 months ago
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i want to rant
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sunnibits · 2 years ago
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*insert that one office meme* making ocs is so cool, I’d love to know literally anything about them some day :)
#vent that I will probably regret later incoming sorry!#feel free to ignore#aaahahaa I honestly need to stop looking at other ppls oc art because it literally just makes me mad!!#whyyyy the fuck is everyone else always better at making ocs then I am 😐 I’m tired of it#yes I may post nonstop ab loving Reggie but honestly. I am constantly sick with envy about other ppls ocs#it just feels like everyone else always has soooo many more cool ocs and they’re so much more developed#like they actually know what’s fucking going on and they’re actually interesting#and have cool ass designs that I could never come up with#and I’m sick of it!! I’m sick of it!!!! I just want that!!#why am I literally incapable of making characters I actually care about I don’t get it#every time I try to come up with an original story I get bored fucking instantly#it has helped a little but to stop worrying about stories so much and just make ocs that are fun to draw#but god I just want cool fun ocs!! more of them!!!! that I actually know shit about!!#like am I just lazy or is developing characters sooo hard#no matter how much I like a character in the beginning I always feel like everybody else’s ideas are a million times cooler#ugh#I’m fucking tired of it#like how am I supposed to fulfill my childhood dream of writing a novel if I never produce any original ideas that I’m able to stick to 😐#I’m just! so jealous!#ugh sorry for venting and being embarrassing I’m just in a weird mood tonight#probably will delete later
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floral-hex · 5 months ago
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So this is my thing now, I’m afraid to go to sleep. This is kinda bullshit, brain.
#I feel like I’m going to die when I fall asleep#see… I’m afraid you think I just mean I’m scared of death#no no no. no. I feel like I’m suffocating. I have to force myself to breathe. my body tingles (in a bad way). I get really overheated.#I get dizzy and feel like I’m going to pass out from lack of air. I feel sick.#I haven’t slept much lately.#I’m miserable alllll the time. I can maybe force sleep with super exhaustion but I’m drained no matter what#this isn’t the first time it’s happened but this is the longest it’s gone on#from that my anxiety is now blanketing everything bc I’m so tired and scared about not getting to sleep#sickening anxiety. I feel like puking or passing out. and I got hit with some heavy (but thankfully short) virtigo yesterday#terrible terrible terrible#and seriously. anxiety. so bad. I’m constantly trying to get high right now to fight it but it’s rough#getting high is starting to make me feel sick too. and my tolerance is building. it’s like… it’s all bad. all options.#I hate this.#AND it’s the weekend and my new primary can’t see me until Wednesday and then I’ve got to beg for… I dunno… the good stuff#god. I told myself I’d go see my doctor about this a couple of weeks ago when this last hit and I didn’t 😓#ideal scenario: all doctors fall in love with me and medically induce a short coma for me to catch up on sleep and then they give me drugs#this new doctor doesn’t know me! I haven’t laid enough groundwork! how am I supposed to beg for klonopin if we have no banter!?#that wasn’t a joke. I mean it was but it’s also serious. I need some GOOD anti-anxieties and he doesn’t know me enough to know I NEEDS IT😬#also my tinnitus is just… no sleep + stress means it gets stronger and it’s… a fucking wet willy shoved through my ear into my skull#and if I hit a bad patch of virtigo… I will… redacted.#I won’t! I will go running crying and screaming in the street before I off myself.#HEY! my insurance says I can get 30 days in-patient and I always keep that thought in my bad pocket.#*back pocket. I’m not about to go back and start redoing tags because of a few misspellings#this is so rambly#my brain is fried! I’m tired! my appetite is fucked! I don’t want to do ANYTHING!#I mean… I never want to do anything. I love being lazy. I should say that right now I CAN’T do anything. but I can. but it’s… a lot. fuck 😔#this must sound so whiny. I’m sorry. I’m sure I’ll be making more posts like this until this goes away#you can ignore this#text
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fairy-angel222 · 9 months ago
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𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐅 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩
—in which toji is constantly fucking women and disturbing your peace. your complaints lead to you becoming one of them.
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pairing: toji fushiguro x fem! college reader
cw: smut, breeding, daddy kink, size kink, age gap, toji being a cocky prick, unsafe sex, ass slapping, mentions of cervix touching
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Ever since you heard about your next door neighbor Mr. Fushiguro going through a divorce, things have been hell. For you.
From the day he first moved into the apartment, constantly arguing on the phone with his ex wife about whose turn it was to watch his son, Megumi.
When Megumi is over, everything’s quiet, and you finally get a chance to rest your head and relax in peace. Doing some studying and cleaning in the quiet atmosphere.
You wished the black haired boy would stay for just a day longer, because Toji is back to his usual self hours later. Bringing in young college girls one after the other. Fucking them hard against his headboard as they let out loud cries of daddy. It was annoying. You could even stay inside anymore to get work done.
At every hour of the day he seemed to be active, fucking through all sorts of women, the shaking of your thin bedroom wall never coming to an end as high pitched moans echoed through.
It was getting to the point where you couldn’t take it. You were so fed up. Didn’t he ever get tired? Tired of promising these young desperate girls to call them back only to throw away their numbers and fuck their friends the next day.
Weeks go by and nothing changes, Megumi coming over for a silent three days then leaving again. Giving his father enough time to fuck any feelings for his ex wife out of his system.
You swore you couldn’t take it, you had barely been able to study, occasionally spending an hour or two in a nearby café between classes. When you noticed your grades slipping, your eyes having prominent bags at the lack of sleep, you groan loudly in frustration. Finding your legs moving before you could even process it.
Your fist raising to knock on the man’s door once, then twice, with no answer. You huffed, going in to knock a third time before the door swung open. A tall, muscular man towering over you with a scowl. “What?”
Your eyes widened as you scanned over his body, his perfectly sculpted face, broad shoulders, defined abs, and the very distinct outline in his sweats.
The man cleared his throat, a smirk gracing his face when he startled you out of your intense drooling. “Now, what do we have here?” he chuckled deeply, tilting his head to the side with crossed arms as he rested against the door’s frame. “Here to get your turn doll?”
You gulped, finding it harder to spit out your words as the Fushiguro man stared you down. “I.. I’m here to ask you to keep the noise down, some people have actual work to do.”
Toji whistled, “Oh? A bold one huh? I like it,” His hand reaching under your chin to make you look fully up at him. “you’re a pretty little thing you know,” he spoke, running his thumb along your bottom lip, “wonder what you’d look like ruined underneath me.”
You ignored the flutter that went off in your pussy, clenching your thighs discreetly as you glared. “Just keep the noise down okay old man? I'm trying to study.”
Toji could feel his cock grow harder, you were just what he needed. “So i’m an old man now? That’s a first, usually girls like you just call me daddy.” he shrugged, “but it’s okay, you’ll get there.”
You rolled your eyes as you walked away from him, annoyance written all over your face to mask the arousal swirling in your stomach. He’d probably fucked the entire neighborhood by now, including the campus, so you weren’t gonna fall for his sick charms. You just hoped he complied and kept the place quiet, you didn’t need that usual noise the day before your big test.
Toji had surprisingly did as you asked, and you sighed in content as you read through the pages of your notes. Your pen in your hand finding itself in between your teeth as you bit down softly. You got what you wanted, so why was your mind running wild with thoughts of the Fushiguro man’s hands on your body as he fucked you like all of those other girls.
You shifted in your seat, one leg over the other to bring stimulation to your needy clit making you whimper softly. You couldn’t let yourself give in.
Another week passed and you once again found yourself in the same noisy predicament. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to the man more than twice your age. Way too old for you yet just so.. hot. Toji Fushiguro had become your fantasy.
And it was unbearable.
Hearing all these moans day and night. Hearing Toji’s loud grunts and groans as he no doubt left them with the best fuck of their lives.
It was Thursday, and Megumi would be coming tomorrow per routine, so you’d finally get a break then. But, you couldn’t deny the fact that you wanted an excuse to go over there. Your face serious as you banged on his door.
You waited a minute, a shirtless Toji emerging into the door frame as it flew open. Toji smirked, “Ah, you again.” His sweatpants hung dangerously low beneath the start of his v line, black hair messy as his tongue darted out to swipe across his lips. “Finally came to your senses?”
His last fuck had left right before you came, coincidentally of course.
“N-no.” you objected sternly. “I’m here to ask you again to just be.. what are yo-“
You swallowed hard when he began stalking towards you, a sinister grin on his face as you were backed up against a wall. His breath fanned your head as he bent his neck. Hands on the walls near each side of your face. “Your face says otherwise, doll.”
“No it d-doesn’t.. you’re just a cocky old man preventing me from getting things done.”
Toji’s brow raised with a deep hearty chuckle, “Back to that nickname i see,” His hand grabbing hold of your cheeks and squeezing them together. “Gonna have to clean that mouth of yours, teach you how to be a good girl.”
You whimpered lowly, feeling wetness pool between your legs as you looked up through your lashes. Toji’s eyes trailing to your glossy lips as he inhaled sharply. “Don’t worry, this dirty old man’s lips are clean”
Pressing his lips roughly to yours, your eyes widening as you gripped the edge of your skirt with a moan. Toji smirked against your lips, his hands hooking beneath your legs as he lifted you up. Your frame so much smaller in comparison to his larger one.
Toji was quick to bring you inside. And you found yourself sitting on the man’s lap, your skirt bunched up at your hips as he hammered up into your wet cunt with brute force. His hands kneading into the flesh of your ass each time you ground your hips onto him.
You let out a loud mewl, his thick cock stretching you out and grazing against your gummy walls as he fucked you deep. Feeling him within your stomach when you cried out. “Fushiguro-san— ah, so- ngh g-ood.”
“That’s not my name doll, try again.” he growled deeply, landing his palm onto your ass in a hard slap. And you whimpered tearfully at the sting. “T-toji—” Another harsh smack burning through your flesh making you let out a cry. “Last chance.”
You moaned loudly, your back arching as Toji slammed into you. “D-daddy, ahh daddy, o-oh fuckk—,”
Toji hummed in satisfaction, “Look at you, thought i was a dirty old man hmm?” His teeth biting softly at the delicate skin of your neck, his pelvis hitting your red puffy folds relentlessly. “Moaning for me like a little slut, so fucking pretty.”
You let out a shaky cry, “Haah— F-fushiguro-san,” Your pussy clenched down on his girth, his rough hand making its way around your throat, squeezing the sides and forcing you to look at him. “Not gonna fucking tell you again.”
You mewled, “‘M sorry— nngh,” Your back arching when Toji bullied his cock deeper into you.
“Still waiting doll.” he grunted, eyes dark as his grip on your throat tightened, your moans and whimpers loud as his thighs noisily met your sticky cunt. “D-addy— ahh- so good,” you cried, feeling his angry tip forcing its way to your cervix, kissing the entrance with each harsh thrust.
“Good fucking girl, you’re getting there” he grinned with a groan. A creamy ring formed around the base of his cock, your pussy gushing messily onto him as loud squelching sounds filled the room. “Pussy’s so fucking tight— better be on the pill cause i’m botta cum in that pretty pussy, shit.”
“Ah— nngh daddy, ‘m close- gonna cum.” you whimpered, your eyes rolling back and your lips parting in a string of incoherent babbles, Toji’s thrusts sloppy as he groaned.
“Gonna cum on this old man’s dick yeah?” He teased cockily, “Had so much talk for someone who’s falling apart on my cock.” Toji grunted, “Bet ya sat there listening like a lil perv, your hand down your panties hmm?”
You shook your head no with a cry, “Uh uh- ahh— wasn’t.”
“Sure about that? Sure you didn’t sit there and fantasize about me fucking you like a little slut?” His hand reached down to rub at your clit, a loud moan escaping your mouth.
Your breathing sped up as you felt a coil buildup in your stomach. Your body shaking with pure ecstasy. You let out a high pitched scream, the stimulation to your g spot making your head go fuzzy. Vision turning white as you clenched down tightly on Toji’s cock.
“O-oh fuck— ‘m cumming— ah, cumming daddy.” Toji’s hand pressed down harder on your throat, the pressure restricting your air flow making you let out a choked mewl. Tears welling in your eyes as his heavy balls smacked against your ass.
“Nngh—” The ring of white thickened at his base as you let out whiny cries. Toji’s hand working small circles on the sensitive bud before he brought his lips to your ear. His voice deep and gruff as he groaned. “Fuck doll- squeezing me so tight, come on and scream for me.” He breathed, “make a mess on my cock.”
Toji’s mean pace became too much, a tight pull in your stomach as your mouth fell open, legs trembling with loud cries as an unfamiliar feeling washed over you.
It was heavenly, your brain going dumb and your pupils disappearing behind heavy lids as you screamed loudly, head falling back and nails digging into his shoulders as you fell off the edge.
Toji never slowing the movement of his hips, still hammering up into you despite the mess you were making on his thighs. Your pussy spraying streams after streams of clear liquid as you arched your hips, grinding back and forth to ride out your squirting orgasm.
“Even fucking louder than any of my previous fucks.” he laughed, “Wonder what the neighbors would say, went from being a whiny little bitch to being the same thing you complained about.”
You let out a whine, Toji flipping you abruptly onto your back, his hand still around your neck as the position allowing him to hit even deeper. “Fuck,” he grunted, his words in between each thrust. “gonna fucking breed that pussy so deep.” Letting out a low groan at the last thrust, his lips meeting yours in a sloppy kiss as he bottomed out.
A whimper fell past your lips into his when you felt him fill you up, his cum shooting in hot thick spurts along the walls of your cunt.
He smirked as he pulled away, watching you pant heavily. “Would make such a good breeding bunny.” Dipping his fingers past your lips and resting them on the back of your tongue. “Might have to keep you around, can’t be disturbed if you’re the one making the noise now can you?”
You shook your head tiredly, forcing your eyes to stay open as Toji pulled out of you. His sticky cum seeping out of your fluttering pussy slowly. Your brain was still so clouded, blinking in and out of blurry vision.
Toji hid the smile threatening to creep up onto his face, his face neutral as he plopped down onto the couch next to you. “Rest if you need to, then leave.” He said nonchalantly, trying to seem like his usual self despite the fact that he had not kicked you out yet. Which was something he never did, let a girl stay any longer than a second after sex.
The man would never admit it, but there was just something about you.
He wanted to make you his pretty little doll.
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metalandmagi · 1 year ago
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Romance Anime Starter List
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick and tired of seeing “Top ___ Best Anime of All Time” lists that are nothing but shounen. So, with "My Happy Marriage" getting a little attention from the anime community, I wanted to put together a list of some romance anime that I consider good “starters” for the genre. Because if I were just now becoming an anime fan, I’d think all there was to offer was shounen action series.
And by “starters” I mean basic stuff that’s not too…out there, and actually involves the characters getting together instead of just harems or using romance as a side plot (sorry Ouran High School Host Club and My Next Life as a Villainess). 
So if you’re new to anime and want stuff that’s not just guys beating the shit out of each other (which is also fun, don’t get me wrong), here are some basics.
Taisho Maiden Fairy Tale- When the pessimistic Tamahiko Shima loses all function in his right arm, his family sends him away to live in the mountains with the cheerful, hard working Yuzuki Tachibana…who was purchased by the Shima family to pay off her family’s debts and basically act as a caretaker/future bride for Tamahiko so they’d never have to deal with him again. It’s a more cheerful version of My Happy Marriage (without the supernatural stuff), except in this one, the guy is the one who has massive self-esteem issues and an abusive family. There are still very serious themes, but ultimately it’s not meant to make you cry every episode. I swear it’s so good, but nobody watched it!
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Horimiya- A slice of life in which pretty and popular high school queen bee Hori, finds out her quiet, unassuming classmate Miyamura is hiding piercings and tattoos that could get him expelled. The two gradually find out more about each other and get together in the most realistic way I’ve seen depicted in an anime. It’s also fucking hysterical and genuinely emotional.
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Recovery of an MMO Junkie- Another slice of life that focuses on two adults who meet in an MMO game without realizing they also know each other in real life. I don’t want to say much more than that. It’s adorable, and the main character is so relatable it hurts.
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Love with Yamada-kun at Level 999- Speaking of MMOs, this is a newer series about Akane Kinoshita, a college first year who’s reeling from a bad break up. In an attempt to get back at her ex, she winds up meeting Akito Yamada, a popular gamer who happens to be in her guild in the MMO they both play at an IRL meetup. The two go from acquaintances to something more as they keep running into each other. Even more relatable main characters and just wholesome relationships all around.
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Snow White With The Red Hair- A fantasy in which an apothecary named Shirayuki (meaning, you guessed it, “snow white”) runs away from her home in order to escape becoming the concubine of her town’s prince. While fleeing, she is rescued by Zen, the prince of a neighboring country, and she ends up becoming an herbalist to repay him. It's super cute with some genuinely swoon worthy moments and a couple that just works so well together. I have a habit of comparing this to Akatsuki no Yona, even though the two aren’t really that alike. This is more romance driven while Akatsuki no Yona is more of a serious historical fantasy with romance elements (Yona manga is amazing, but the anime barely scratches the surface, so that’s why I didn’t include it).
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Sasaki to Miyano- When the shy, easily flustered Miyano meets Sasaki, a cool “delinquent” upperclassmen, the two end up bonding over manga…specifically BL manga. That’s right, Miyano is a fudanshi, but due to his small stature and somewhat feminine appearance, he’s constantly trying to convince others that he’s not interested in having his own love story where he’d be reduced to a stereotypical doe-eyed uke. But as Sasaki and Miyano spend more time together, they realize that what they have is more than friendship, and they have to come to terms with their own perception of gay relationships. This is my favorite romance of all time. It’s a slow burn, but boy is it worth it. Their relationship is so natural and realistic, just like Horimiya. Just two people hanging out and bonding over things the way people do in real life!
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Given: The story of some boys in a band with trauma. Enough said. It's great. Go watch it.
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Bloom Into You- Yuu Koito is a high school girl who’s been waiting her whole life for her own perfect romance to start…but when she receives a confession, she realizes she doesn’t know how to respond when she’s just not into the guy. And then she gets another confession…this time from the cool student council president Touko Nanami, who basically jumpstarts her lesbian awakening. Very cute story about how we perceive the concept of love vs actually feeling it. Also has a canonically aro/ace side character, so that’s a win for me. Another show like this is Adachi to Shimamura (but I honestly don’t remember much about it. It just didn’t stick with me as much).
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Ore Monogatari- Takeo Gouda is a tall, bulky high school first year with a sensitive heart of gold. He wants nothing more than to find his own true love, but most girls are intimidated by his enormous stature, and they end up falling for his conventionally attractive friend instead. That is, until he meets the tiny, adorable Rinko Yamato. He falls in love instantly, but he’s sure she’s interested in his best friend like everyone else, so he vows to help get them together, even though his heart is breaking. Peak himbo behavior. Pure of heart, dumb of ass.
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Yuri on Ice- Yes it’s the gay figure skating anime everyone knows. And yes it’s a fucking romance, okay? I will die on this hill. The romance between Viktor and Yuri is just as important as the plot!
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Kaguya-sama Love Is War- Two insanely smart high school students both have a crush on the other, but since they’re…you know…high schoolers, neither of them wants to admit it first. So they come up with increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess first. This will go down as one of the best of all time. It’s a hilarious yet poignant modern classic.
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Fruits Basket- I’ve talked about it before and I’ll talk about it again. A romance “comedy” that slowly morphs into a drama about a girl named Tohru who finds herself living with the mysterious Sohma family after her mother dies. Little does she know, the Sohmas are the victims of a  (somewhat silly, but ultimately tragic) curse that she must fight to break. Even though I’m more into it for the family drama, the romance is still top tier and plays an important role in the story. This is my second favorite anime of all time, and it’s a classic for a reason. If anyone hasn’t watched it yet, GO WATCH IT! IT WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS!
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And now for some honorable mentions that didn't quite fit into the regular list:
Ride Your Wave- A movie about a surfer who falls in love with a firefighter……and I’m not going to say any more than that. Go into it blind. If you like stuff like Your Name, this is a good one to watch.
Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun- A comedy about a high school girl who finds out the upperclassman she has a crush on is actually a shoujo manga artist, and no matter how she tries to confess to him, he just never gets it.
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The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague- A slow burn slice of life that focuses on a guy with ice powers who has a crush on his coworker. That’s it. That’s the show. When I say slow, I mean SLOW. It’s perfectly cute and fluffy, but my god does it take forever to get anywhere with these two.
Skip to Loafer- A high strung, small town girl decides to go to high school in Tokyo, where she meets a variety of classmates, including the laid back Sousuke Shima. The unlikely pair become friends, and soon enough, she starts to feel something more than friendship. The only reason I didn’t include it in the main list is because they don’t get together by the end of the first season, but it’s still really cute (also canonically trans character for the win!?)
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So that’s my starter list. And no, I didn’t include Toradora, even though it’s a classic. I know it’s blasphemous, but I like it more as a comedy than a romance. It kinda lost me with the ending. But anyway, maybe someone will find something they like. Or maybe you'll just want to roast me and my picks 😅
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irndad · 2 years ago
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hi im back! okey so def can see spencer still wanting to hug and snuggle with you even when fighting or mad at each other. he even gets genuinely ??? confused ??? when you try to sleep on the couch instead of in bed at night. he holds you and either reader or him is like "i know we are snuggling right now but i am still super pissed off at you." lol i can just see it. he may be petty when mad but he wont stop trying to touch you bc its a biological need of his and no argument is more important than needing you 🥺
enjoy this I did it very fast!!!! ily
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He knows he’s not easy to be with sometimes. She would never say it, but it’s true. He doesn’t always get the jokes, sometimes pushes things too far and without even knowing it the ground gets pulled out from under him. 
And sleep- Sleep is so complicated. The memory of the first time she slept in his bed is etched into a place he could never erase. Spencer had always had trouble sleeping, either fear or alertness plaguing him into the late hours of the night. He used to lie awake, the kind of exhausted that feels like it’s seeping out of your bones, while constantly facts he’d unwittingly memorized about how sleep deprivation can cause brain damage. 
But then she’d come into his life. All soft words and gentle disposition, and there really is something magic about the way that everything just dissipates when her warm, soft body curves into his own. He’s slept well almost every night since. 
Except today, she isn’t coming to bed. 
It’s his fault, and he knows it. He wasn’t being fair. She hadn’t seen him for two weeks (and he hadn’t slept nearly enough without the weight of her form beside him since the last time he saw her) and she’d said that she wanted to be prioritized more. 
“I haven’t seen you in weeks, Spence!”
His head was killing him. Was it actually possible, for a headache to kill you? Her voice is audibly upset, and it’s alarming how he could be the cause of it. 
“Please,” he had said through labored effort, “Can we talk about this later?” 
“When would you like to talk about it? Because I don’t ever know if you’re leaving-“
“Do you even know what it is that I do?  That it’s not a choice for me to go? I have to do this. I can’t pick and choose and honestly, I don’t want to. If you don’t get that, we’re not doing what I thought we were doing.”
It sounds foreign, his own voice. And it’s after he’s said it that the sick taste reaches his throat because oh, that means the end. Her lovely face is unreadable for a brief moment, before something like grief splays over her expression.
It’s silent for a beat, and Spencer wishes he could swallow the words back up, rewind his life like a battered VHS tape where he’s not so stupid to mess up the one thing that’s ever brought him peace.
“You’re not yourself, Spencer. I’m gonna give you a minute.”
A minute, it turns out, is hours in the living room. She hadn’t left, thank fucking god, but she hadn’t come back. Of course she hadn’t. She wasn’t the one who needed to apologize. 
He’s just so tired. 
He thinks of her so-sweet voice, the curve of cheek- the junction of her neck and shoulder, and how much he would like to have her pressed against him. He pads out into the living room like a nervous puppy, and sees her sleeping on the olive green couch she had picked out. Her hair was splayed across the arm of the sofa, and her head laid on a throw pillow, their fuzziest blanket draped across her form. 
His first thought is how low he’s dropped, that he’s jealous of a blanket. 
His second his that she is not coming to bed. He sits beside her gingerly, and the scent of her body wash lingers in the air. 
“Are you planning on coming to bed?”
“I didn’t think you’d want me to.” He can tell she wants to sound cold, but the truth is much worse; she sounds guarded. 
“I always want you to.” It’s the most honest thing he’s said today, and it’s just not fair, how much he revolves around her. How he has waited 14 days, 13 hours and 34 minutes to hold her again and managed to ruin it within the first 20 minutes of having seen her again. He grabs her hand, soft and pliant against his in a way that almost makes his heart leap. “Please? Come to bed?”
Her gaze softens, the warmth and light that guides him back in her eyes, and he hopes his relief isn’t too visible. It’s then that she drinks him in. It feels too revealing like she can see right through him. His clothes are old. He’d rushed off the jet to see her, and the half moon circles under his eyes only lend to the unimpressive picture of himself. 
“Oh, sweetheart,” she breathes, touching the side of his face. He instantly leans into it, the contact more than he’d be willing to give up to save his dignity. “Come here.”
She wraps her arms around him, and he pulls her into his lap, squeezing her tight to his chest, like she might disappear. 
“I’m still mad at you,” she says, looking at him with such affection it betrays her words.
“That’s okay,” he says into her collarbone, “As long as I still have you.”
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tojiscumdumpster · 9 months ago
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⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ knockout x renji abarai
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✧ summary there’s no better way for renji to celebrate a big win than to spend the night with y/n.
✧ content warnings reader described as a black woman who uses she/pronouns. feisty!reader, chubby!reader x undergroundfighter!renji. modern au — no bleach verse. told in first POV — renji’s. mentions of stitches and bruises. usage of profanity, praise kink, cowgirl position, nipple play, facefucking — renji will finish in reader’s, squirting. terms of endearment — baby, sweetheart, angel, etc. reader and renji are in their late twenties.
✧ author’s note hello, hello. i am here with a fic that’s not jjk for once in my life, lmfao. this idea has been in my drafts since january 2023, and it was just sitting there collecting dusts on my old tumblr. but i said i was going to do more bleach characters, so here we go. first time writing renji, so if this ain’t how you see him, oops. still enjoy. also didn't really focus on the underground!fighter portion as much. but maybe i will if there's a next time. support me by liking, commenting, and reblogging this post. i would greatly appreciate it. AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS AND MINORS— DO NOT INTERACT.
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I know she told me not to come by after the fight, but I needed to. 
 I won.
 I fucking won, and there’s no other way for me to celebrate winning ten thousand dollars than to be with Y/N.
 Well, that’s if she’s still not mad at me.
 Before I left for my match, we got into an argument. A huge one. She doesn’t like that I fight for a living, let alone illegal underground fighting. I mean—I get it. Seeing someone you care about constantly getting his ass beat isn’t a sight worth seeing. 
 But fighting is all I know. 
 I had a shitty childhood. Didn’t know who the hell my parents were since they gave me up at birth for adoption. Jump around in foster care homes until the mothers got sick of me and kicked me out in the streets. Survival was basically forced on me.
 Fighting is what kept me alive. For food. Clothes. A place to lay my head. Whether I lost or won, I know the reason why I’m alive today is because I’m a fighter. 
 It wasn’t until I was eighteen when I found out about the world of underground fighting. Ten years deep and I know nothing else. 
 Y/N knows this about me. She understands I didn’t have it easy and never judged me. But that doesn’t mean she agrees with my lifestyle. 
 She came to a few fights in the beginning. Eventually, she got tired of seeing me stitched up almost every weekend. 
 Shit, me too. 
 However, after tonight, I feel good about my future wins. I busted my ass in training, so now I don’t have to hear shit about anymore losses. 
 Even if right now I’m stitched up and have a black eye. I feel good.
 Great.
 Better if Y/N opens the door after keeping me waiting out in the cold for the past ten minutes. 
 I know she’s awake. She has a habit of staying up late, studying for med school. And plus, I haven’t messaged or called her yet. Despite her not showing up to my fights, she still wants an update afterwards that I made it out alive.
 “Y/N, let me in,” I say, knocking loudly on her apartment door. “You know I don’t care about making a scene.”
 After a few more obnoxious knocks, the door finally swings open and I am met with deep russet skin, tight curls, and chocolate-colored eyes that pierce an annoyed look in my direction.
 “What do you want?” She bites out. “I’m busy.”
 I smirk and hold the bag of money in the air. “I won.”
 “Congrats.” Her tone is flat and she tries to slam the door in my face, but I placed my foot to stop it from closing. “Seriously?”
 “Yes, seriously. Are you really still mad at me?” I teasingly ask. 
 “You won. I said congrats. What more do you want?”
 I shrugged. “I’m locked out of my apartment.”
 She arches a brow at me, already recognizing my bullshit ass excuse of being locked out of my apartment. 
 Y/N knows me. She knows I would do anything to be in her presence, so going back and forth in forty degree weather is pointless. 
 Her pretty brown hues travels across my face and body, examining the stitches and bruises that probably has her wondering, who the fuck treated him? 
 Me. But that’s besides the point.
 A deep sign escapes her mouth when she realizes I’m not going anywhere until she lets me in, so she opens her door wider and turns her back to me to walk further inside her apartment. 
 “Sit,” she orders, which I happily do so while chuckling to myself. 
 While Y/N goes to the bathroom (assuming she’s getting a med kit to fix my shitty patch job), I take advantage of staring at her round ass that’s barely covered in those tiny boy shorts. Every step she takes it jiggles, creating an ocean of waves I’m eager to swim in.
 I get comfortable while I wait, taking off my skully, sweater, and any other form of heavy clothing that would cause me to sweat in her heated apartment. 
 “I’m going to start charging you if you keep fucking coming to my apartment like this, Renji,” Y/N snapped, walking with the kit in her hand as expected. 
 “Outside of paying for your tuition, I can think of other ways to repay you.”
 She rolls her eyes at my suggestive comment. “Get over yourself, Abarai.”
 I let out a snort before she stands in front of me and tilt up my chin to start making work on my face. 
 She’s cute when she’s mad. Huffing and puffing while whispering slick comments under breath. But how she’s handling my face by moving it around with force rushes blood straight to my groin.
 I’m getting hard.
 Hard as shit, and it’s not helping that I’m in close proximity with her. 
 That jasmine lavender scent that circulates through my senses. Looking up at her full lips that’s coated with gloss. Then, lowering my gaze to her tits that’s big, naturally saggy, and pretty. My mouth is watering at the sight of her nipples hardening.
 And I don’t know if it’s because she feels that I’m checking her out or the coldness outside is affecting her. 
 Either way, I’ll act on it.
 Taking it upon myself, I grab the back of her thighs to pull her on my lap. As if she’s used to my antics, it doesn’t catch her off guard and she continues to clean up my wounds. 
 “You’re all bloody up with a black eye and somehow you still have the energy to be a pervert,” she retorts.
 I move one of hands to her ass, massaging comforting circles. “For you? Yeah.”
 The quiet between us was comfortable until she opted to speak again. “So… who’d you fight?”
 “Some huge motherfucker. I thought I was going to die.”
 She leans back to grab more alcohol and dabs it above my brow. “Maybe that’s what needed to have you stop fucking fighting.”
 I throw my head back to laugh, but she grabs my chin to bring my face forward. “Like you want me dead.” My hands creep beneath her cheeks to pull her closer to me and apply more pressure to my cock. “That’s what you want?”
 “That came out my mouth, Abarai?”
 “Why are you still mad at me?” 
 She scoffs. “Why am I mad that you’re practically coming to me everyday with a busted face and broken ribs?” That’s one thing I love about Y/N—her feisty personality. It turns me on so fucking much because I know when I fuck her, it’ll be a different story. 
 Continuing, she says, “I think I would be a little more satisfied if you did this professionally as opposed to underground. Underground doesn’t come with insurance, Ren.”
 “Aw, you care about me that much?” My question was supposed to be posed as a joke, but the look on her pretty face says otherwise. 
 “Fucking asshole. I don’t know why I still deal with your ass.”
 “Probably because you love me.”
 “Probably not.”
  Gripping her hips, I pull her with me and lean back into the headrest of the couch. We’re inches away from our mouths cooling and I take advantage of this proximity by basking in her sweet smelling breath and beauty. 
 Simply because Y/N exists, my cocks hardens for her. Holding her in my arms. Feeling her pussy against my erection and breasts suffocating pressed on my chest. Girlfriend or not, she’s mine.  
 And she knows it. 
 I can see how she looks at me, even when mad, that she cares and loves me. Y/N is a tough girl. I can only imagine what she’s been through. Still, she manages to soften up just for me. 
 We never made it official since she doesn’t approve of the underground shit, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop asking. 
 “So when are you going to say yes to being my girlfriend?” I whisper.
 She tries breaking from my embrace, but I tighten my grip. “Renji…”
 “You feel my dick pressed against you, right? It only makes it harder when you say my name like that, Y/N.”
 “Be real with me… will you keep doing this shit forever?” Her eyes waver as she awaits my answer and I can’t help the guilt from pinging my chest. 
 “If it lessens my chance of being with you, no.”
 She searches my face for hesitance or deceit, however, she finds nothing because I meant what I said. Y/N is the only person that looks at me like I’m a human, and I wouldn’t let my obsession with fighting get in the way of our future together. 
 How she tucks her coil behind her ear and nips down on her lower lip shows me the bit of vulnerability she reserves for me.
 So—I take advantage of it. 
 In less than three seconds my lips were on hers. I take my time relishing those sweet, plump and plush, strawberry flavored lips.
 I can feel the skepticism from Y/N while kissing her, maybe because she’s trying to put on this show that she’s still mad at me. But soon, her rigid body melts into mine and returns the kiss. 
 Our heavy breaths mingle, increasing in speed the more aggressive we lock lips. She begins rolling her hips onto my cock and I let out a grunt, feeling the moisture of her pussy liquefying on me. 
 The slaps I leave on her ass are harsh, causing her to bite my bottom lip and suck it into her mouth. Y/N is so fucking aggressive it drives me nuts. She gives me a high and adrenaline not even a fight could give. 
 “Pull your dick out, Ren,” she orders through muffled moans and our kiss. 
 “Fucking bossing me around to give you cock? Not mad at me anymore?” Y/N ignores my taunt and works her hands between us to untie my sweats. I hiss at the feel of her cool hands engulfing my dick to give it a few pumps.
 She must not know what her touch does to me. She handles my cock like she owns it, and gosh, I fucking love that shit. My fingers gently tangle into her coils to deepen our kiss, but she soon gets up to strip her clothes.
 Fuck… Fuck, she’s so goddamn sexy. I’ll never get tired of her thick body, filled with soft dips and curves. I look at her, observe her like she’s an expensive piece of art hung up at a museum because that’s what I see her as. 
 Pretty pussy leaking arousal and I smirk to myself, thinking how she had all that attitude earlier while being wet for me like she didn’t want me inside of her.
 “You’re fucking beautiful. You know that?” I ask, massaging her tits and looking up at her. “You still have that attitude or are you going to come ride my cock like a good girl?”
 She gently pushes me back against the couch with her lips on mine and straddles my lap. “Depends on if you’re going to be a good boy and take this pussy.”
 “Shit, angel. I will.”
 Y/N hums while reaching around to align my cock with her sex. Two seconds later, she slowly sinks down my length until I’m buried into the hilt. That soft lingering fuck that slips past her pretty lips sounds sexy as hell and has my dick twitching in response.
 I can’t bust now. Not yet. Even if the tightness and heat of her pussy pushes me off the edge of a mountain. Her pussy is so warm, so fucking warm, fat, and wet. Gosh, I don’t ever think I can be without this pussy. 
 I throw my head back and savor this feeling, but Y/N had other plans for me. 
 “Remember to look at me when I’m riding you, Ren,” she coos. “Eyes on me, baby. I want you to see how much I love this dick inside my pussy.”
 Fucking Christ. “Tell me how much you love it while bouncing on me.”
 And she does just that. Telling me how big and girthy I am, that she’s sorry for giving me attitude and admits that she just wanted dick. But no. I want her to fuck me like she’s mad. I need that type of energy pumping through my veins after this win tonight. 
 I reassure Y/N and tell her to fuck me harder. Her pace quickens and slaps her ass fervently against my cock. I can’t stop moaning her name. The wet slippery noises coming from her pussy increases in volume and it creates a mess between us. 
 This is where I belong, deep in her pussy and feeling her walls squeeze the hell out of me. I don’t even hold her hips or waist. I relax comfortably with my arms sprawl over the top of her couch, watching how gorgeous she looks while fucking what’s hers. 
 “Oh, fuck, Renji,” she moans, tugging her lips inwards and lolling her head to the side in complete pleasure.
 Those perfect, full tits bounces in my face and I can’t help but stare and become mesmerized. Light marks that resemble tiger stripes decorated the valley of breasts. Her nipples, pebbled and straining underneath my gaze, look desperate for my touch.
 I take it upon myself to pinch them between my fingers and a soft shriek escapes her mouth, further arching her back. 
 Y/N keeps getting wetter by the second, every bounce she makes. And hearing her sticky arousal, I know and see how she’s creaming my cock.  Purposely, I sit myself on the couch, thrusting up in her a bit to feel my head hit her g spot.
 “Ren, help me little,” she begs through a whimper. “Fuck me back.”
 I caress her cheeks with the back of my head. “Yeah? You want me to help you, sweetheart?”
 “Please.”
 God, I love it when she’s needy for me like this. 
 In no time, my hands are at her waist and my thrusts meet with her jumping movements. Y/N isn't loud when it comes to her sounds of pleasure. Vocal, yes. But right now, her moans and whimpers are louder than usual. 
 It’s like she needed my dick inside of pussy just as much as I needed it. 
 I see the desire in her brown hues. I feel the heat radiating off Y/N’s skin while my fingers dig into her flesh, holding her in place to pound upwards into her pussy. 
 This is what I wanted—to fuck my girl after a well deserved win. And she’s going to congratulate me how I want. 
 My lips are at her neck leaving wet kisses and sucking her flesh until purple specks form. “Coming home to this good fucking pussy. Gosh, I love how you feel, angel. Going to fucking mean it now when you say congrats?”
 “Congratulations, baby,” she purrs, slamming harder on my cock. “You did good… so damn good, Ren.”
 I hum, dragging my tongue along her neck. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”
 Y/N continues to gasps out her pleas for me to fuck harder. I comply… I comply in helping my pretty girl come and savor the look when she washes over me. My grips are firm on her waist, betting that’ll leave marks when she wakes up the next poor, and drive my cock deeper into her pussy.
 I’m in pure awe. I feel my own releasing catching up to me the more I watch her take me. This is my woman. My fucking girl. I come home to this every night after every fight to hold her in my arms and fuck her. 
 Her name from my mouth sounds like a broken record when I moan her name. This fat, gushy, slick and tight pussy has this power over me. She won’t stop fucking squeezing me, I can’t prevent my face from growing hot. It’s intense how I feel right now, and it’s all because of Y/N.
 “Good, good fucking pussy. God, you’re so fucking good to me, angel face,” I rasp, pecking her lips. “You’re going to come for me?”
 “Yes, Renji, baby. I’m going to come. Keep giving me that dick. Please don’t stop, please.”
 “Put your fingers in my mouth.” She does quick with my command. I suck on her digits and coat them well with saliva before pushing them out of my mouth. “Now rub your clit, pretty girl. I wanna see you squirt everywhere.”
 Because she’s overwhelmed with arousal, Y/N stops bouncing on my cock and allows me to fuck her while she plays with clit. Her mouth hangs gape, drool slightly coating the side of her mouth and breathing heavily. 
 My balls slap her ass. My head kisses her soft cushion repeatedly. Her velvet walls transfer warmth to my cock and the bubble that rests in the pit of my stomach is on the verge of explosion.
 I’m about to come. Hard.
 But I need her to come first.
 “Fucking come for me, Y/N. Keep playing with that pretty pussy and moan my name,” I grit out, pushing past all my thrusts. 
 “Right there, Renji. Keep fucking me right there… I’m–oh, fuck–I’m coming.”
 She’s so pretty when she comes. Dark brown porcelain complexion, slick with sweat. Eyes rolling to the back of her head. Pussy clenching and unclenching around my cock. Moaning, whimpering my name back to back. 
She’s breathless. Flawless. I have this image of her painted perfectly in my mind. Watching Y/N come, makes me come, so I make quick work to pull her off my lap. And she knows exactly what I want–to fuck my release down her throat.
 Her mouth is as warm as her pussy, and I let out hitched breaths and harsh grunts when she swallows me whole. I’m relentless when forcing her head down on my cock as I facefuck her. The gurgling noises she makes are obscene. Pornogrpahic, even. 
 And what caused my come to shoot through her mouth is seeing that she’s still massaging her clit, eventually squirting all over her wooden floors. 
 My hips stutter and I throw my head back to moan into the air. “Fuck, Y/N! That’s my fucking girl. Look at you making a mess while choking on my cock and swallowing my come.”
 Y/N takes it upon herself to wrap her lips tighter around my cock and massage my balls, ensuring every single last of my nut has released in her mouth. I take it for a while, but I soon become sensitive, practically feeling my skin being sucked off.
 “Easy now, angel,” I say through an airy chuckle. I pull my cock out and her mouth echoes a pop sound. 
 She whines a little because I’m no longer in her mouth and it causes me to smirk because it wasn’t too long ago where she acted like she hated me. 
 My hand grasps her chin and guides it upwards to meet with my eyes. “You swallowed for me, Y/N? Open up.” She nods, sticking her tongue out. “Perfect.”
 “You’re going to fuck me again?” She asks, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.”
 Gosh, this woman will be the death of me.
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tags: @dejwrld @hvshinas @diamondoidxx @xxjazzxx @thegirlwonder1 @ryukenzz @maiapuhpaia @elitesanjisimp @amyrahrose @sweetpeachies @abigolemess @linastired @diorsbrando @starrygetou @niya729 (if i didn't tag you it's because tumblr wouldn't have your user pop up)
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2knightt · 8 months ago
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CANT HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER!!! i’m utterly obsessed with the curtis brothers.
idk if u do this, but if u can, the curtis brothers with a reader who’s super down bad for them? they make it so clear, too. constantly doing everything for them, making food, buying snacks, just utterly everything. compliments, holding their hand religiously … yk.
୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ you know i’m a fool for you. ⋄ 𓍯
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…IN WHICH! you think the curtis brothers are the only men on the planet.
tags/warnings: swearing(on my end/once during dialogue.) reader being slightly overprotective or insane, mentions of reader getting hit on, mentions of reader leaving lip stick stains, me not knowing what to write for darry.
ೃauthor notes⁀➷ i’m using ny other accounts layout bc i can’t be bothered rn. also i’m here to feed y’all i’ve noticed the outsiders x reader tag is lowkey dry asl.
Ponyboy Curtis:
WOAH HE CAN’T HANDLE ALLAT😭
like actually. he is TWEAKING AT ALL TIMES! when you first like started complimenting him, showering him in kisses, giggling n’ shit—he thought it was a one time thing.
ponyboy just thought he’d have to thug that shit out once a week or something. he was, in-fact, pleasantly surprised when you continued to do it.
“you’re so-mwah-cute! i wish-mwah-i could-mwah-hold you forever!”
“y/n…😣”
he’s so flustered omfg like actually he’s beet red LMFAOOO. if you were to put your fingers to his forehead it’d be so hot. like ponyboy’s avoiding eye contact, his lips are tightened, etc.
if he were to stay the night at your place—you make him all types of food. like, food he’d never heard of. or food he’d dream about after eating bologna for a week,
“for me? …really?”
“mhm! c’mon, don’t let it get cold now.”
ponyboy is DIGGING RIGHT THE FUCK IN. okay he is SCARFING THAT DOWN. after he’d be a little embarrassed of how quickly he ate but like you just took it as a good thing.
thinks you’re the best cook ever tbh. gordan ramsey has nothing on you type levels.
going on a walk with him to go grocery shopping for the curtis house with your hands intertwined and letting ponyboy ramble about this annoying substitute he had!!! IT’S REAL!!! ALL OF IT!!!
“n’ then he tried to tell me my answer was wrong when i studied last night—I EVEN ASKED MY FRIENDS. so, i know it was right. i just think mr. johnson had a personal vendetta against me.”
“smh…i could do slash his tires if you’d like♡!”
“what”
“nothing.”
AWHHH PONYBOY FOLLOWING YOU AROUND THE STORE LIKE A LOST PUPPY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO BUY LMFAO
he’d like holding your sleeve or the hem of your shirt as you walk around, looking more awkward above all else.
uwahh showering ponyboy in compliments late at night when it’s just the two of you, twirling his hair as you hold him closer!!!
“you’re hair is so pretty. it’s so soft…i dunno why you put grease in it. if i was you—i’d never let anyone touch it.”
“i don’t. i only let you.”
“…REALLY??🥰🥰😚😚”
ur friends are soooo sick of you talking about ponyboy LMFAOOOO like actually. every time you go, ‘omfg did i tell you guys, he-‘ they know to just let you mindlessly ramble.
“and then ponyboy read to me ‘til i fell asleep! he’s so sweet—i dunno how he’s real!”
“i dunno how you’re so whipped.”
“he must be the funniest motherfucker on the planet if y/n’s this obsessed.”
Sodapop Curtis
OHHH Y’ALL ARE AT A CONSTANT WAR TO SEE WHO’S GONNA BEAT THE OTHER AT BEING THE BETTER PARTNER LMFAOOO
HE’S usually the whipped one in the relationship…he felt both extremely lucky and threatened when you started attacking him with kisses…
“you’re so handsome. i’m just the luckiest person on earth—ain’t i?”
“…yeah…🤨”
“why’d you say it like that?😞”
“cause I’M the luckiest person on the earth…I’M supposed to be tellin’ you this…”
but as time goes on—he does take the loss and accepts you’re better at him. for now. it’s only a matter of seconds until sodapop thinks of something insane to show his love for you.
anyways! IMAGINE COOKING WITH HIM OHHHH NY GODDDDD /?:&$:&: he just mainly stands there and looks pretty as he asks what you’re doing but SHHH. HE’S MORAL SUPPORT.
“…what?”
“i’m chopping onions for the flavour, honey.”
“you don’t like onions, though?”
“i don’t like the crunch rather than the flavou—YOU REMEMBERED I DON’T LIKE ONIONS??☹️☹️”
“of course i would!”
gladly holds ur hand 24/7. i’m not kidding. you two are like super magnets. HEHEHE IMAGINE HIM DRIVING WITH ONE HAND ON THE WHEEL AND HIS OTHER HAND HOLDING YOURS!!/!2!
you do take him grocery shopping. only sometimes, though. he only buys junk food rather than actual food.
“can i get these? please?”
“you already have two bags of chips in the cart, soda.”
“okay..😣”
“SIGH…get them.”
“HURRAY!”
knows you can’t say no to him and that’s like the only time he uses it to his advantage.
soc’s do hit on you under the premise of ‘showing you how a real man is supposed to spoil a lady like you.’ HOWEVER, you look at them like they’re aliens.
“hey, baby. what’re you doin’ around here?”
“…EW.”
“???”
they’re shocked above all else as they see you turn away from them and quickly walk away without looking back. AND WOOO SODA IS SO PROUD.
Darry Curtis
the gang acts like you two are constantly fighting whenever you start to look at darry with that sparkle in your eyes.
“guys, PLEASE! YOU’RE BREAKING UP THE FAMILY! STOP ARGUING!”
“what the hell are you on about, soda?”
“you’re scaring pony!” “don’t bring me into this.”
“mind you’re own business, soda.”
AJDIEHJR DARRY HAVING A HAND AROUND YOUR WAIST AS YOU MUTTER SWEET NOTHINGS BETWEEN KISSINGS>>>
you two are a POWER COUPLE IN THE GROCERY STORE! EVEN IF YOU REFUSE TO LET HIM PAY AND HE GETS POUTTY! EVEN IF HE DOESN’T TAKE COMPLIMENTS WELL!
“y/n, please. these are for my house.”
“so?? my wallet was out first.”
“that doesn’t mean anything. baby, i’m telling you, i’m paying.”
“too late, i already handed the cashier the money.”
you cook and clean for the curtis’ to take something off of darry’s back out of the kindness in your heart and totally not because you want him to pay more attention to you!! NEVER!!
but you do enjoy the fact that darry has more time to sit down and pay attention to you! and darry really likes the extra time he has!!
“you didn’t have to.”
“yes i did! you’ve been so stressed out, it’s the least i could do for you.”
“you’re such a treat, y’know.”
“mh. only f’you.”
you FORCE him to hold your hand. sometimes he forgets that he’s supposed to hold your hand in public so do NOT BE AFRAID TO GRAB IT YOURSELF.
but once you do, darry is the last person to let go. maybe to wrap an arm around your hip—BUT THAT’S IT.
teehee leaving lipstick stains on his white t-shirt accidentally🫶🫶!! it’s all so real to me!! sure, darry’s a little annoyed but it’s okay! he can never be mad at you!
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hwhimsypc · 5 months ago
Text
Too Busy Being Yours
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Keigo Tamaki (Hawks)/Reader
Note: first smut (except that one omegaverse i did with my friend on Ao3, but please bear with me, this is probably bad.) Anyway!
Warnings: 18+ (pretty vanilla), Not proofread
Summary: You don't like Hawks, until a late night of unexpected, Passionate events take place.
Word count: 1857
Enjoy!
Your heels click on the floor as you try to follow Hawks’ quick steps. His long legs makes it difficult to follow him while wearing stilettos. The pile of papers are tightly pressed against your chest, as you desperately try not to drop them. You’re barely looking where you’re going, and almost hit two people. Hawks is pulling you along by your arm, and he’s the only reason you haven’t hit anything yet. 
“Can you slow down?” You hiss between your teeth. He turns his head, a cocky smile perched on his lips. 
“Can’t keep up?”
You roll your eyes. Hawks was always teasing you in the worst situations possible, when you were least in the mood for it. 
“I told you we had to leave earlier.”
“Whatever you say.” He turns back. You’ll be there soon. 
Hawks always had a tack for being late. Being his assistant was by far the most stressful job you’ve ever had. And his constant jokes and cheerfulness were draining sometimes. Even if it was uplifting when you’d had a bad morning. 
You finally get to the interview, in a small apartment on a street corner. You stop to catch your breath, sweat immediately collecting on your brow. Of course, Hawks was irritatingly unaffected. 
“See ya later, darling,” he winks, and you shake your head, ignoring him. You were stressed. This interview gave you a bit of time to focus on all the paperwork you were behind on. 
You of course, don’t see Hawks’ smile quickly fading when he realises you weren’t really affected by his teasing. Funny. He wasn’t used to that. 
Hawks rising in popularity meant more paperwork for you. And paperwork for a top 3 hero wasn’t something that could wait until morning. A headache had been forming behind your forehead for the past two hours and it was simply getting too hard to ignore. You sigh, pushing out your chair, getting up to get yourself another cup of coffee. Was this your fifth today? Your seventh? It doesn’t matter, anyway. The only thing filling your brain is heroes, interviewers and media. The tiredness wasn’t allowed to nudge its way in. You couldn’t afford that. 
You’re so lost in thought, you don’t feel the presence sneaking up on you. Only when two warm hands grab your shoulders and you shriek, heart jumping in your throat. 
“What are you doing here so late?” And oh, it’s just Hawks. You groan, pushing his hand away. 
“Fuck off.” 
You turn to walk away again, suddenly forgetting what it was you came for. But Hawks isn’t giving up so easily. 
“Aww, come on, humour me.”
You’ve had enough. 
You turn around, grabbing his collar in anger. Of course, he doesn’t budge an inch. But it certainly feels good, and you’re tired and irritated, frustrated and angry. And you just… explode. 
“Don’t test me! This has been too long of a day… a week… a month… a year for that matter. You’ve tested my limits every day, for however long I have worked for you, I’m so fucking sick of being your plaything. You don’t respect me, you don’t respect my work-”
“Y/n.”
“You don’t seem to care for how I’m doing, just constantly putting more pressure on me. You never take a moment to stop and think. Maybe you’re not the fucking only person in the world.”
“Y/n.”
“Maybe, for just a second, could you care about someone that isn't you. And maybe, just maybe, would you think it isn’t my job to take care of you when you’re alone or sad, I’m your assistant for god's sake, you big!… fucking!… man baby!”
“Y/n! Oh my god, listen!”
You push him back. “But you never listen to me!”
Hawks’ eyes are wild. He looks flabbergasted, as surprised as you’ve ever seen him. But his open mouth slowly forms into a smirk. Your stomach drops. Whether it’s in anticipation, fear, or maybe even excitement, you don’t know. 
“Oh but I do. About the things that are important.”
You tsk. “What things?”
He looks too smug, as he starts to speak. 
“I know that you deeply hate the guy from block 1.”
You stare at him with wide eyes. 
“I do not-”
He laughs. “Don’t play smart. You frown everytime he opens his mouth during meetings, and always object when he has an idea. It’s obvious.”
Obvious, yet only you’ve noticed. 
It’s your turn to look flabbergasted now. 
“Okay, so maybe he’s not my favourite person in the world, you’re right about that.”
Hawks smiles. 
“And you never wear your hair up. I take it you don’t like the sensation.”
It had never really caught your attention, just how much notice Hawks took of you, compared to how little you took of him. You’re borderline speechless. This always happens to everyone around you. His fans, coworkers, but never you. You 're never affected. The man takes notice, and he suddenly seems closer than before. 
“Cat got your tongue?”
If this were five minutes ago, you would’ve sighed and rolled your eyes. But now, you’re silent. 
“I just- I didn't know.”
His fingers find Your neck and goosebumps travel through your whole body. 
“Didn't know what? That I like you?”
Your immediate reaction is of course, denial. 
“That doesn't make any sense. Why would a pro hero be into someone like-”
But you don't get to finish, as he suddenly pulls you close. 
“I’m going to kiss you. That okay?”
 You’re so surprised that you just freeze, staring up into his big, owlish eyes. You can’t tell what kind of emotion hides behind them. 
“Okay,” you whisper, feeling the desire pull in your chest, more intense than you’d ever experienced. Before you get to take another breath, Hawks lips are on yours, soft and wanting, like this is the last time he’s going to kiss you. You really hope that’s not the case. 
Breathing is the last thing on your mind as your mouths passionately move together. You’re clutching his shirt hard, and you can feel his erection growing against you. 
“I wanna eat you out,” he says, biting your earlobe. The surprisement from all of this has still not entirely passed, but you’ve decided to just go with it. 
“Please,” you moan, and it comes out a lot more desperately than you’d anticipated. You clumsy move towards your desk, his lips sucking eagerly on your neck as you both try to unzip your skirt. He hits a spot on the end of your neck that feels incredibly ticklish and good, and you moan a bit too eagerly as he desperately pushes all of the papers off of your desk in one swipe. 
You feel a stab of irritation in your chest, and is about to give him a piece of your mind, before he pushes you down with practised ease. His incredible strength really comes to sight in a situation like this. It turns you on a lot more than you’d thought it would. you seem to get surprised a lot today.
“Spread your legs for me, sweetheart.”
You’re pretty sure he’d be able to spread them just fine himself, but you still listen, flinching a bit when the cold air hits your aching cunt. You’re so wet already that it’s almost embarrassing. 
He grips your thighs securely, kissing up your inner thighs. You’re so wet that you can feel the slick dripping down to your asshole. 
As soon as he gets started, Hawks is unstoppable. He eats you out like he’s starving. You’re too gone to be embarrassed about the wet squelching sounds, as he eagerly sucks your clit with the confidence of an experienced man. Your legs are shaking, and you’re sure that there will be marks tomorrow from where his fingers grip your thighs tightly. 
“Don’t, ngh- don’t stop!” you loudly breathe out, voice trembling as you, to your utmost surprise, suddenly cum. Everything feels overwhelming as he stops, lifting his head, his whole underface covered in your wetness. 
“You’re acting like I would ever,” he says, a bit out of breath. You can’t deny your attraction to him anymore, especially in a moment like this. “You taste too sweet,” his voice drops an octave as he leans closer to your face, breathing against your lips. “You can’t imagine how long I've wanted to do this. I could go on all night, until you’re completely dry. And then in the morning, I want to fuck you until my body gives out.”
That would take a while, especially with the incredible stamina he has, you think, feeling as if you’re in some kind of pleasant haze. 
“You don’t know how feral I am for you, y/n. It’s scaring even myself.”
You stare up at him in surprise, suddenly unsure of what to do. But you don’t need to be sure about anything, as Hawks leads you through it. 
He pulls orgasm after orgasm out of you, as you wonder how you’re even able to take this. On an uncomfortable desk at that. But true to his word, you’re riding him like you’ve never ridden anyone ever before in his apartment a few hours later as the earliest sunlight start to stream through the curtains. 
Hawks face is pulled back in pleasure as he slides his hands up your hips, shamelessly studying your bouncing breasts. 
“You’re so good for me,” he grumbles, and you let out a pleased whine at the praise. The sheets under you are soaked, but with the way Hawks is praising and caressing you, you feel like you could go on forever. 
His mouth drops open, and you can tell that he’s about to cum. You increase your pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin getting impossibly louder. You just hope the neighbours won’t complain tomorrow. 
It’s incredibly thrilling, having the famous pro hero in the palm of your hand like this.
“I’m going to cum,” He warns, and not even a second later, warmth suddenly fills your belly as his white seeds coat your walls. You cum yourself only seconds later, resisting the urge not to scream as you feel his cum dribble down onto the sheets, your body spasming with the shocks. You hold back a wince at the distant thought that you’d maybe scratched his back a bit too hard. You’ll have to remember to ask him later if he’s okay. But for now, you can barely keep your eyes open. 
“Can we stay like this for a little while?” He asks, and you nod faintly, resting your head on his shoulder. Not a single thought passes behind your eyes, only the warmth of your bodies sticking together and Hawks, Hawks, Hawks. 
You didn’t care about the mess. Right now, you only cared about him. And that was enough.
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gallavichsreddie1128 · 7 months ago
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Bully (Homelander)
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Description: Y/N Bullies Homelander and he gets fed up
Word Count: 2,481k
Author’s Note: I have another version of this that ends differently if you guys want it.
She walked into the seven’s headquarters where everyone is at for a meeting. Everyone was already there except Y/N who just now walked in. Homelander had an annoyed look on his face as she walked through the door and to her chair. She sat down and smiled at all the members besides Homelander. “You’re late.” He said. She looked over at him, annoyed. “Can it, Cape Boy.” She said. Maeve and Starlight tried not to laugh. Y/N bullied him constantly and it was so funny. What was odd was that Homelander never fought back really. He would just roll his eyes and go back to whatever he was doing. Before Y/N came along he was the big bad Homelander but now Y/N seemed to run things.
After the meeting was over they all got up to leave. Y/N walked by Homelander and bumped into his shoulder causing him to scoff. She turned towards him and raised an eyebrow. “Got a problem, Stars and Stripes?” She asked. “Yeah you bumped into me.” He said. She shrugged and turned away. “Go cry about it you mommy milk drinker.” She said. He was tired and sick of her bullying.
It was day after day that the team had to hold back their laughs as she said the meanest things to him. Nobody felt bad for him due to him being a dick all the time. “I am the Homelander and I really can do whatever the fuck I want.” He growled. She mocked him and laughed. “Shut the fuck up you pussy. You ain’t gonna do shit.” He was beet red after that. Embarrassed as he saw the team trying to not laugh. 
When Soldier Boy arrived it got worse. “You think you’re tough shit? Buddy you’re wearing a cape.” Soldier Boy said to him. “And Spandex too.” Y/N added. Ben looked at her amused. “You’re wasting your time with him. He’s nothing but a whining mommy milk drinking bitch.” She told him. Ben smirked at the woman. “I like this one.” He said and she smirked. Homelander didn’t know why but he got insanely jealous of that. “Your daddy doesn’t want you, go cry about it.” Homelander held back the tears in his eyes. It was humiliating. Y/N tore him to shreds with her words while Soldier Boy, His dad, laughed. He never got love or anything like that. Deep down that’s all he wanted but Y/N made sure he knew everyday that he didn’t have it and never will. 
Once he was alone he would cry. Her words felt like knives to him. He hated that she affected him like that. The one time she caught him crying she laughed at him. She cackled and cracked up as the man stared at her with tears streaming down his face. “Please you’re only upset because nobody’s ever stuck up to you before and you don’t like it. You don’t like that I'm not afraid of you and that you can’t control me like you can the others. Boo fucking hoo.” She said. She was right. He hated that she wasn’t scared of him or bowed down to him like most around him. But her words also hurt him because she made him feel like shit. She made him feel like he didn’t matter and that her words were right. 
He started coming into work not saying anything and not acting like a cocky son of a bitch. The team was confused by his silence but thankful nonetheless. He glared at the woman making his life a living hell as she walked through the door and into her seat. He stared at the table as she talked, not daring to look at her. Everyone saw the look in his eyes. She broke him. “Bitch boy stop zoning out I’m talking.” She said. He looked up at her with broken eyes. She chuckled. “Why the sad face?” She asked. “Why are you so mean to me?” He asked. The others decided to get up and leave not wanting to see this. They enjoyed seeing him not be a cocky son of a bitch but they admitted Y/N was harsh. “Aww does that make you sad? Are you gonna cry?” She mocked him with a frown. “I never did anything to you. Nothing and you make me feel worthless.” He said. “Good.” “But why? What have I done to you?” He asked. She scoffed at him. “Are you being serious right now?” She asked him.
“The big bad Homelander is actually upset by what I say?” She laughed a little. “You’re fucking evil.” She laughed at his response. “I’m evil? Have you met yourself?” She asked, standing up. “Homelander you seriously are a piece of shit. You have no emotions or care towards anything or anyone. You act like you can control the world just because you’re a strong man but in reality you’re a whiny little boy that never got love from mommy or daddy.” He had tears in his eyes at this point. He didn’t care that she would laugh anymore. “You’re a monster, Homelander. You deserve every word I serve you.” She said. He stood up. “No. I save people, I'm a hero.” He said not looking at her. “Oh my god no you are not. You made a girl kill herself, you talk down to regular people because you think you are above all but newsflash Homelander, you’re not.” She walked closer to him. “I may be the only person that tells you the truth in your life so get used to it.” She said and walked away leaving him in tears. 
From that day on he wasn’t himself. Not even to the world. This powerful tall ego he had was no more. He didn’t even want her gone, that’s the worst part. She gave it to him straight and he had to appreciate that but she was awful to him. She was powerful, a strong woman that didn’t need anyone to protect her. He watched her as she spoke to the crowd and the crowd loved her. She was beautiful and fierce. She would make a better leader than him. That’s what the people were saying. He read the article in anger and hurt. The people wanted Y/N as the new face of the seven.
He had enough of her games. He stormed into the quarters where she was and threw the paper down in front of her. “You happy now? You took everything from me.” He told her. She looked at the paper and smirked. “Someone had to.” He scoffed. “I get it you hate me, you think I’m a monster, you want my position. Well guess what? You may take my pride, my happiness but you won’t get that.” He growled. “I don’t want your position you dumb fuck. I want you to realize you are a terrible person.” She stood up. “What do you want me to say? That you’re right? That I seek validation from others and that I'm sad that I never got love from parents? That I think I’m better than everyone else but I actually am insecure but since I have powers I use that to my advantage? That I actually am hurt by your words because you’re right? Is that what you want?” He yelled. “Is that the truth?” She asked him. “Yes, okay? You’re right about everything you said.” She didn’t laugh or give him a smirk. “I hate myself because of you and you made me realize that I'm a shitty person.” He yells. She watches him as he breaks down. Tears stream down his face as he sobs and cries.
She got what she wanted but it didn’t feel that good. Right here, right now she saw a broken man. She walked over to him and he expected her to laugh in his face but she didn’t. He looked at her and she took his hands. “I know it sucks. But you needed to realize that.” She tells him. “Homelander you can always better yourself. You don’t need to be the villain.” She says. He looks at her with soft eyes. “You deserve love. Everybody does.” She whispers. He leans in and tries to kiss her. She backs away. “Oh right. You wouldn’t love somebody like me.” He says. She shakes her head. “No I wouldn’t.” He looks down and nods. “I should have known that.” He whispered. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hey, you'll find somebody.” She whispered. He had tears falling down. “You said it yourself, nobody will love me.” “Someone will. I promise.” 
Everyone found it strange that Y/N didn’t bully him anymore and that he wasn’t a cocky piece of shit anymore. He wanted to better himself but just for her. She was the only one in his life that told him the truth and didn’t lie to him. He adored that. But he knew that her words were true and that she hated him. She spoke from the heart and that was just that. But Y/N maybe have had the act of hating him, she couldn’t bring herself to fully hate him. She could tell he’d been through so much but that didn’t give him the right to act the way he did. But after the last time they were alone she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
She saw the hurt in him, the need and want of love. “Ok guys that wraps it up.” Homelander said closing the meeting. Y/N stood up with the rest of the seven and went to exit the room. “Y/N can we talk?” He asked her. She turned around and looked at him. “Yeah sure.” She said. She walked over to her seat and sat in it. He cleared his throat and sat back down in his seat. “Are you okay?” She asked him. “Yeah uh I just can’t stop thinking about the other day.” He whispered. “Okay. Well I can’t either. Kinda crazy right?” She asked with a light laugh. “We almost kissed.” He said. “Well you tried to kiss me.” She pointed out. “I know and I’m embarrassed because I thought we had the same thought.” He said.
She looked at him. “Oh Homelander it’s not that, it's just.” She sighs. “Just what?” He asked. “I didn’t expect you to try and kiss me. I didn’t think you’d have feelings for me. I mean I was mean to you.” She said. “Yeah but I liked that you were honest with me and you make me wanna become a better person.” He said. She gave him a soft smile. “Why do I make you wanna become a better person?” She asked. “I wanna be good for you. I don’t want you to hate me anymore. I wanna be with you.” Her jaw dropped at his words. “Homelander, you don’t actually wanna be with me. You just liked that I told you how it was.” She said.
“No. Please don’t tell me what I want.” She nodded. “I know in my heart that I wanna be with you. I was so sad that you were mean to me because I love you.” “You don’t even know me.” She said, “Then let me.” He begged. She looked around. “Just a week ago we were enemies and now you wanna be with me?” “Yes. So let me take you out.” She looked at him and saw that he was being serious. “Okay.” She said and gave him a small smile.
She looked in the mirror and sighed. She would have puked at the thought of going out with him but now it doesn’t feel like that anymore. Her dress was a pretty red and pushed up her boobs. She wore her hair in a ponytail. She was nervous. She was going out with the man that she hated more than anything. She sighed and stepped out of the bathroom at Vought tower. She saw him facing away from her. He still had on his suit but she didn’t expect him to take it off. He turned around and smiled. “Hey wow you look beautiful.” He told her. She looked down at what she was wearing. “Well thank you.” He held out his arm and she took it. “So are we eating here?” She asked him. He looked at her. “I pulled a few strings and got us some of the best food in the city.” She looked at him confused. “Best food in the city?” He nodded. He opened the door to the quarters.
All the chairs except theirs were gone. The food was placed at the table with wine glasses. She looked at him. “You think you’re hot shit?” She asked. His face dropped. “I’m kidding. This is awesome.” She said and took a seat at the table. He shook his head and sat down. “Glad you like it.” He said. He watched as she eat her food and drank the wine. They talked about life and what he remembers. “So have you ever thought about leaving?” She asked him. “Like they would let me.” “You’re the Homelander. You can do whatever the fuck you want.” She told him.
He smiled at her. “Sounds way better coming out of your mouth.” He said. She chuckled and set her glass down. “Yeah well that might be the only time you hear me say it.” She joked. “Do you ever think about leaving?” He asked her. She looked at her food. “All the time.” “Why?” He asked. “I want to have control over my own life.” She said and looked at him. He thought about her words and how he would love to know that feeling and have it. The rest of the night went by smoothly. Until the end of the night the conversation was long forgotten about. “I think we should do it.” He said. She looked at him confused about what he was talking about. “We should leave.” Her jaw dropped. “Homelander you don’t mean that.” She said. “I do. We should leave this place and get one of our own.” She took his hand. “One step at a time, yeah?” She smiled at him. He nodded. 
At the end of the date he walked her back to her room. She turned towards him with a small smile. “I had fun.” she told him. “Yeah me too.” He said. She looked at his lips and bit hers. He saw and leaned down. She met him halfway and their lips touched. His hands went around her waist and hers went around his neck. They pulled away after a few moments. “Night.” She whispered as she opened her door. “Goodnight.” He said back, watching her close her door. She had a smile on her face as she had her back to the door. He walked away with a smile.
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ventismacchiato · 1 year ago
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42 behind the lens — curtain call !
epilogue
scaramouche x gender neutral reader
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It’s at the times between recording scenes where you really get a glimpse at your lover.
His sweat stained hair and tear stained cheeks from a rather intense scene never get old. You were feeling rather fond as he made his way over to you, falling into your director’s chair and heaving a heavy breath. The only one other than you allowed to sit in it.
For a mere moment, you both simply look at each other. You guys were on break so a few conversation topics come to mind, it wasn’t often you guys got to speak as lovers rather than coworkers during work. And while they’re all things you’d like to talk to Scaramouche about, you realize you don’t need to force conversation with him.
There’s a hue of weariness that shows in Scara’s eyes, but you can tell that he’s happy. He’s doing what he’s been striving to do for all his years at university, so of course he is.
You search his dark eyes for his thoughts, too. When your eyes meet Scara’s he let’s out a tired smile.
“I missed you,” he easily says. The words come out easier than they would’ve years ago.
Your heart skips a beat, even years later.
“How? We’ve been working together all day,” you say.
“Do I need a reason to miss the person I love?” Scara scoffs, looking away from you to study the script he brought with him.
It isn’t the first time Scaramouche had told you that he loves you, but it’s never stopped holding the same weight it did the first time he’d ever said it.
It’s a rare type of love. The kind that exists so rarely for people in this industry and that lead lives similar to your guys’.
His loves makes you feel alive everyday. And Scara should know it, you should tell him more often—even if it’s rather dramatic for midday on set for their most recent project. It’s something you’d bring up at night that you two could laugh about in bed. Even if it catches Scara off guard.
But Scaramouche’s love caught you off guard, too, and every second you got the privilege to spend with him was a gift.
And as you stare at him, fiddling with the sleeves of his costume and eyebrows scrunched as he mouths his lines, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.
“I suppose you don’t,” you reply, a minute too late, but Scara still chuckles at your response as he tosses the script aside.
“What? You’re not going to say it back?” he teases, “And I thought I was the emotionally constipated one.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, hitting him on the shoulder, “I love you, too. I guess.”
“Archons, you’re worse than me.”
“No, you were much worse when we were younger!”
“It was hot and mysterious when I did it.”
“Uh huh, just go back to set I’m sick of you.”
“Weird way to say you agree but okay.”
“Go!”
.
.
.
୨⎯ THE END ⎯୧
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behind the lens !
masterlist — prev
author’s notes — and that’s a wrap folks! hope the ending wasn’t awkward i just wanted it to be short and sweet. anyway, thank u to everyone who read and kept up with this fic, means a lot to me that this blew up as it was smth i wrote for myself. if ur rereading this or are a reader in the future ty to you too! i appreciate the silent readers, anons, and ppl who left me sm cute comments and reblogs. u guys made writing it more fun and easier to ignore the not so nice ppl. i cant reply to everyone but just know i do read every ask and comment i get! i do hope to see u guys in my notifs in the future even if i don’t write for genshin anymore, but if not then i’m glad you gave my writing a chance <3 have a great day/night byebye
synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?
taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilacponds @uma-umie @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @courtneydefender @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos @cartierfiles [1/3]
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wetsocksinbed · 1 year ago
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shit people need to hear about COD:
Ghost isn’t some broken uwu boy. Infantilising assault victims is demeaning and disrespectful
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, König is extremely overrated for a character that only appears as a playable operator and not as anything in the campaign
You’re allowed to ship whoever you want, it’s a free world, but throwing a tantrum when people say they don’t ship GhostSoap or Korangi, and calling them homophobic (I’ve seen this too many times at this point) is disgusting and you’re essentially stereotyping us LGBTQ individuals as aggressive and pushy when it comes to queer ships. The characters of Ghost and Soap are canonically coded to be like brothers, and you need to stop thinking that a headcannon is the same as real cannon
Stop replacing Gaz with König, it’s giving ✨racism✨
Alex, König, Farah, Alejandro, Rudy and Horangi are not part of TF141, stop including them in it?????
König and Ghost are canonically enemies and wouldn’t have each other on speed dial just tag your fics as OOC at this point
the entirety of the Call of Duty franchise was coded for straight white “alpha male” boys who live in their mothers basements, stop acting like it’s anything more than that. You won’t find the representation you’re looking for in it and honestly with the way it’s headed at the moment, I don’t think you ever will
we can tell if you’ve never played the games based on how you write the fics. You don’t have to be a game fan or player, but at least do your research on the characters you’re writing about before you hit “post”
Makarov and Graves are terrible people and shouldn’t be idolised. Before you tag me with your “let people do what they want” let me remind you that Graves is canonically racist. @mockerycrow made a good post about why Makarov is a shit person and I recommend you read it
All of the characters have their flaws. Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Price, they all have done bad things. Price is known to commit war crimes if it means getting the mission done
König having social anxiety doesn’t mean he’s a broken husk. You can function completely fine with the disorder if you can find a way to distance yourself from who you are as a person. Say, like, constantly wearing a mask? I promise you that the Austrian soldier wouldn’t be a sobbing mess because he got looked at funny
Also, he is only obsessed over because of his mask and the weird obsession people on this app have with infantilising people with trauma and mental illnesses (see first paragraph regarding Ghost)
The way some of the fans obsess over the actors is uncomfortable and genuinely creepy. It’s like this generation thinks that anything behind a screen isn’t real and can’t feel anything. They’re people who act. They’re not the characters you play.
feel free to add more to this, I’m tired and sick and wanted to rant
notes:
don’t attack me with the “yeah but not me” shit. Obviously I don’t mean everyone.
this doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the games the way you want, it just means don’t fucking police it and gatekeep it and expect everyone to accept your interpretation of it
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gyupinkys · 1 year ago
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BOSS YOU AROUND
Mingyu x afab reader
WC: 3.7K
WARNINGS: GUN PLAY, VIOLENCE, THREATS, DUBCON?, KIDNAPPING, throat fucking , unprotected sex, heavy degradation, spanking, swtich mingyu, switch reader, creampie, mingyu says some wild shit towards the end 🤷‍♀️
Mingyu is officially sick and tired of being the muscle man. It's not even his specialty, he's supposed to work with Jihoon and Wonwoo in tech, but alas he’s always called to do the dirty work.  He’s just too fucking nice and he can’t stand to hurt people. He just tells himself it’s what he gets for being 6’2 and built like a brick wall. As he slams the security guard to your building’s head into the wall he’s rethinking his life choices. The guard finally faints and he goes upstairs with Jun to your front door. He rings your doorbell so as to not disturb you too much at this hour. 
“Who is it?” your voice rings out.
“UPS” Mingyu says with a giggle, making Jun laugh along with him.
On the other side of the door you grow suspicious. You’re definitely not getting a package past midnight…
You creep to the door and look out the peephole to be greeted with two men you’ve never seen before.
“Y/N, I know you’re there” the dark haired one taunts making your breath catch.
You back away from the door trying to remain quiet when you hear one of them say “I’m tired of waiting” quickly followed by heavy kicks to your door.
What the fuck is happening? You’re not going to sit here and let two strangers break into your fucking apartment. You turn around and run to your window, trying to leave through the fire escape. As you get your window open your front door flies open and the two men walk inside nonchalantly. Your eyes widen as you duck through the window, running down the flights. You hear heavy boots stomping behind you, but you don’t turn around. You’re on your final flight when your feet leave the ground, being lifted off the floor by the back of your shirt. You kick and scream, trying to get him off you but he wraps a large hand around your throat. 
“Don’t be like that, bunny.” 
You turn to face the man and your eyes widen. Woah. If this is the man kidnapping you you’re going down without a fight. 
“And who are you?” you ask with a seductive twang.
“Are you flirting with me right now?”
“Well, you did sweep me off my feet” you shrug.
He gives you a blank stare before nodding to someone behind you. You feel a sharp prick in your neck making you gasp.
“You asshole you didn’t need to sedate me!” you speak as you begin to feel weak.
“Better safe than sorry.” he smirks.
You muster up the last of your strength to kick him right in the balls watching him crumble as he drops you to the floor and you succumb to the darkness.
~~~~~~~~
“Will you stop looking at me?” Mingyu grits out, throwing his head against the wall.
“In order for you to know I’m looking at you, you have to be looking at me.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Come make me, Daddy.” you smile widely at the man standing across from you.
“I will come there and shoot you in the head if you keep this up.”
“If you were gonna kill me you would've done it already.”
“That's not true, we need something from you.”
“And I need something from you, Mingyu.”
“What?”
“I’d guess it's about eight inches, thick, probably a little veiny.”
He walks up to you and leans over your body tied to a metal chair. “You want my cock, baby?”
“I mean I wouldn't say no.” you smirk.
“You don’t even know me. Are you that much of a slut?”
“For a guy like you? Absolutely.”
He quietly chuckles and backs up, turning and walking straight out the room and leaving you alone again. He’s been doing this the entire time you’ve been here. You couldn't actually tell how long they’ve had you here and to be honest you’re not quite sure why. You’re shocked you’re not freaking out, normally you’d be crying and throwing up but maybe the fact they have not harmed you is making you a little calmer. That and Mingyu who constantly visits you but does nothing but complain to you. You’re starting to think he brought you here so he wouldn't have to pay for a therapist. 
He comes back into the room with a man you’ve never seen before.
“If all your friends are hot, I'll just stay here forever.” you say, mesmerized by the man with the glasses standing next to Mingyu.
“You weren’t joking.” glasses says under his breath, walking back out the door. 
Mingyu walks up to you and unties your binds. “Are you not scared that I'll murder you?” you ask, slightly offended. 
One second you're looking up at him and the next you're trapped against the wall with his hand tightly wrapped around your neck.
“Are you forgetting I fucking kidnapped you?” he spits. “This isn't shits and giggles. You’re not leaving this place alive, so if I were you I’d stop taunting your captor.”
That sends you straight back to earth, You feel like everything hits you at once, your fears and worries from before welling up. Tears gather in your eyes as he begins to drag you through the basement, bringing you up a set of stairs into a large warehouse. He shoves you into a chair but you’re struggling to catch your breath, feeling a panic attack on the way. He’s right, you don’t know him, he kidnapped you, he fucking drugged you. You grip the fabric of your pants, trying to ground yourself as you whimper out of frustration.
You faintly hear someone enter the room but you remain focused on trying not to completely break down right now. 
“Shut that bitch up before I give her something to cry about” someone speaks, making you cry even harder.
Someone softly grabs your chin and tilts your head up. Through teary eyes you see Mingyu squatted in front of you.
“Listen, now is not the time for this. These guys are not as nice as me, they’ll actually hurt you. I need you to put on a brave face for me, ok? Don’t let them think you’re weak.” He wipes your tears from your eyes and smooths your hair. “Just take a deep breath. Pretend like you’re talking to me.” he smiles, making you calm down enough to catch your breath. 
“Mingyu! Enough babying get the fuck out my way.”
You watch him sigh but get up, walking to the back of the room and leaning against the wall.
A tall man approaches you with a condescending smile. “Hello, Y/N.”
“Who are you?” 
“I’ll be asking the questions here.” he says with a harsh tug to your hair. 
“You haven’t asked a question.” 
His eyes widen but he wipes the smirk off your face with a punch straight to your jaw. Holy fucking shit. If he wanted you to stop crying that's definitely not happening now. You let out a sound between a groan and a whimper, dropping your head. He grabs your hair harshly and yanks your head back. 
“Where the fuck is San?”
Your eyes widen. San? 
“I haven’t seen him in like 6 months.”
“If you lie to me again I’ll just kill you.”
“I’m not lying! He left for London 6 months ago, I haven’t seen him since.”
“London? What business does he have in London?”
“I don’t know” you cry, scared he wouldn't like your answer. 
He beckons over one of his henchmen and speaks to them before standing up. 
“Pleasure doing business with you.” he smiles and you breathe a sigh of relief. 
“Jun, kill this bitch.” he says and begins to walk away. Your eyes widen and you stand up to run only to be shoved back down by who you’re assuming to be Jun. You begin to cry more, feeling helpless. You don’t understand what’s going on and all you can do is sit here and fucking cry. 
“Wait.” Mingyu says a bit too loudly to sound natural. He clears his throat, “At least let me have my way with her first, it’ll be a shame to let that pussy go to waste.” 
Your heart stops. As if this can’t get any worse. 
The man looks at him oddly. “Didn’t know you’d be into that but go ahead.” he says and walks out, his entourage following until it's just you and Mingyu. He starts to walk towards you but you scurry towards the door. You attempt to open it, but there's a code on the lock. You don't even hear him approach you until he has you caged in his arms. “Y/N turn around.” 
“Mingyu please don’t.”
“Do you think I’m actually gonna assault you? I know we don’t know eachother but I’d think you would think of me better than that.”
“You said it yourself, I don’t know you.” you whisper. 
“There's cameras in here you need to act scared.” 
“Well I am scared.”
“Jesus christ Y/N, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m tryna get you out of here alive.” he whispers. 
He unlocks the door and begins to drag you out of the room, but you pretend to fight back.
He grabs your throat, but doesn’t squeeze. “Stop fucking fighting me.” he growls, flashing you a sheepish smile after. 
What is up with this guy? Is this fucking funny to him?
He drags you up a flight of stairs and outside. 
“Ok, I'm going to pretend to trip and you run to the black range rover by the tree. There's keys in the passenger cup holder.”
“That's a bad place to keep your keys.” 
He gives you a tight smile. “Would you rather I let Jun kill you?”
He has a point. 
“Ok, bye.”
“No thank you kiss?” he pouts. 
“I’ll kick you in the balls again.” 
He puts his hands up in surrender. 
You run to the car and drive away, watching him disappear through the rear view mirror. 
~~~~~
2 months later 
You hear two loud knocks at your door. “UPS”
Your heart stops. You tiptoe to your kitchen cabinet pulling out the gun you bought for moments like this. Two more knocks sound and you hesitantly walk to the door, peaking through your peephole. 
Oh. It is actually a UPS worker. You open your door and sign for your package. You look down your hallway when you see movement and see someone peeking around the corner but quickly pulling back when you look in that direction. 
“Mingyu I know that's you.” you say with a sigh. 
You hear a thud followed by a “Damn it.” 
He walks around the corner with a pout. 
“Why are you here?” 
“What? You didn't want to see me?” he says, sounding offended.
“Mingyu you fucking kidnapped me.” you deadpan.
“Ok but I also saved you so you gotta give me some credit.”
“Ok fine.”
He stands in front of your door and stares at you without speaking. 
“Why are you here?” you sigh. 
“Oh, I came to kidnap you again. They didn't like that I let you go.”
Your eyes widen and you slam the door shut. “C’mon Y/N I’m fucking joking.” you hear through the other side of the door. You take a deep breath, trying to remain calm. You open the door and he invites himself in, taking a seat on your couch. 
“Lovely set up you have here.” 
“Get to the point.” you say a little too hostile for his liking. 
“I don’t know. You were on my mind so I came to see how you were doing.”
You slit your eyes at him. There's no way he thinks this normal. 
“I don’t believe you” 
He looks at you with a pout. “It's true I just wanted to see how you were doing.” he whispers. 
You laugh. This guy isn't real. You walk up to him and ruffle his hair. “Mingyu you’re really not what you seem.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“This big beefy man is just a pouty little princess.”
“That's not true.” he whines.
“Mingyu you’re literally pouting right now.”
He immediately fixes his face and stands up, making you stumble backwards. He catches you by your waist and sets you upright before starting to rant at a pace you couldn't keep up with. 
“Ok,you got me. I’m here because i’m so god damn horny and all I could think about was you saying all this nasty shit about what you wanted to do to me but I didnt wanna come and make you think I was just using you for some quick fuck because I’m not but I guess I am and I know you’re probably traumatized so the last thing on your mind is sex but fucking hell I can’t even cum without thinking of you so I had to come but I don’t know what-”
“Holy shit, Shut up.”
He looks at you with wide eyes but shuts up, sitting back down. 
“Mingyu, tell me what you want from me.”
He groans and mumbles out “I want you to fuck me.”
You laugh. “You’re fucking pathetic. You could get any girl you want yet you're beating your dick to me? The girl you fucking kidnapped? The girl who wants nothing to do with you?” 
He remains silent looking at you with wide eyes. “Mingyu, do you like when people are mean to you? Is that it? You want me to take all my anger out on you? Fuck you until you can’t make a single thought in that pretty little head of yours?”
His breathing picks up, making you smile. “You like this? You like when women degrade you? Who would've thought.”
“Please.”
“Begging already? What do you want me to do to you?”
“Whatever you want I’ll take it all I swear.” he throws his head back on the couch. “You can do whatever you want to me and I’ll be good for you.”
“You promise?” 
“Yes, I promise! I just want to feel you.”
You can’t believe this six foot something bean pole is sitting here begging for you. Your ego is through the roof.
You run a hand down his chest, his breathing picking up. He looks at you with hooded eyes. 
“I like my men quiet and submissive. Can you do that for me? Keep these perfect lips shut?” you say, tracing the outline of his lips. He nods furiously, making you giggle. 
“Oh, Mingyu. What am I going to do with you?”
You straddle him and pull him into a deep kiss, his moans turning you on more. You harshly grind your hips down on him, feeling his hard length. 
“You really like this don’t you?” you whisper in his ear, dragging your hands down the hardness of his body. He’s sculpted like a god, every ridge and curve as toned as the last. He nods, hands flying to your waist to grind you harder onto his length.
“You should've heard what was running through my mind the first time I saw you. I was thinking I’d let you do anything you wanted to me, I would have taken it however you wanted me to, no complaints. You could’ve bent me over my couch and fucked me right then and there and I would’ve got on my knees and thanked you” 
He groans, burying his face into your neck. “Will you fuck me the way I want? Nice and deep? I want it so bad, Gyu.” you whisper.
Before you know it your back hits the couch and he’s hovering above you, trapping your hands above your head. 
“I think you’re forgetting who's in charge here. I came to fuck this tight little pussy not to be bossed around.”
“Yet you let me boss you around so easily.” you smirk.
“It’ll be hard to make orders when you're gagging on my cock.”
“As if.”
He grabs you by your neck and drags you to the nearest wall pressing you against it. 
“If you want me to fuck you like a slut then I’ll fuck you like a slut.”
He shoves you to your knees and traps your body between his and the wall, shoving his pants down enough to pull out his cock and spitting on his length. 
“Open up.”
You look up at him with a defiant look, refusing to listen. “If we have to be like that, so be it.”
He pulls a black gun out of his pocket, pressing it to your temple and cocking it.
“Open your fucking mouth, slut.”
Your eyes widen and you open your mouth.
“That's what I like to see.” he smirks. He rubs his tip on your lips, smearing his precum as if it was lipgloss. You hate to admit it but you’re beyond turned on, his dominance making you clench your legs together tightly. 
“Pretty.” he whispers before slowly sliding his length into your mouth. “Just be a good toy and take it.”
He begins thrusting into your mouth, pressing your head to the wall by your hair so you can do nothing but take it. 
“Fucking hell, your throat is so tight. I should use it all night hmm? Cum as many times as I want and force you to swallow it. I think I’ll just leave you high and dry.”
You groan in annoyance, making him speed up his thrust. “Unh, unh we can’t have that. I want you so cockdrunk you can’t even breathe, let alone think.”
He drives his dick down your throat, moaning at the sound of your gagging and the tears flowing down your cheeks. You can barely take him, his dick just as big as you thought it would be. “Just like that, Baby.” he groans, pushing as deep as he can and holding it until you begin to get light headed. He pulls out and gives you a second to catch your breath. 
“Bend over the couch.”
You stumble up to your feet and walk back to the couch and bend over the arm, bracing yourself for whatever he was coming. He walks behind you and harshly spanks your ass. 
“How wet is this pussy?” he asks and rubs you over your shorts. 
You whine in response, your pride damaged. He slowly drags your pants and panties down, groaning at the sight. 
“Fucking hell. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone get this wet. You really enjoy being treated like a fucking whore, don’t you?”
“Fuck you.”
He lets a glob of spit drip from his mouth to your cunt, rubbing it through your folds. 
“You're wet enough for me to slide right in, I’m sure sluts like you aren’t used to getting  any prep right? Always ready to take whatever cock you can get.” 
He slides two fingers into you, thrusting in and out, trying to work you open despite his words. 
“Pussys so tight, baby. I know the perfect way to stretch this shit out.”
You feel something cold and hard press against your clit and run through your folds. No fucking way. 
“This’ll do a nice job,” he whispers. He presses your chest into the couch and slides the tip of the gun into you, watching you stretch open around it. He thrusts it in and out, watching your wetness gather on the base. It’s somehow making you feel good, the fear making you leak down your thighs. 
“Can’t wait to fuck you open on my cock. 
He pulls the gun out and taps his cock on your hole, teasing you. 
“Beg”
“No.”
He digs his gun into your side. “You’re in no position to say no. Do you not want to cum?”
You groan. “Please fuck me, Mingyu.”
“Hmm, I don’t think so.”
The fuck?
“What.”
“Tell me why I should fuck you. You need it don’t you?”
“Yes, I need it-” Before you can finish your sentence he forces the gun down your throat making you freeze. 
“On second thought,  I don't want to hear you.” 
He pushes just his tip, relishing in your warmth. “If you don’t start listening i’ll finish the job, cum in you and then fucking kill you. Is that what you want? The cops to find you with my cum leaking out of you?”
Jesus fucking christ, if he keeps talking you’ll actually cum untouched. You moan around the gun, pushing your hips into him. 
“That's what I like to see.” he groans and slides in completely, quickly picking up a steady pace and pounding you into the couch. 
You whine and groan around the gun, unable to move due to his grip on you. His cock feels heavenly, hitting all the right spots and fitting in you perfectly. This is exactly what you wanted him to do to you the moment you saw him.
He suddenly pulls the gun out and throws it to the floor carelessly. When a loud bang sounds when the gun collides with the wall you both freeze. A bullet hole in your wall is staring at you along with the realization someone is bound to call the police. 
“We got three minutes, tops. Think you can cum by then?” he laughs, resuming his thrusts.
“Fuck yea, don’t stop.”
He lifts your hips and hits deeper, making your toes curl. You swear he’s in your stomach with how deep he’s going, and his whines and moans do nothing but spur you on. 
 “Rub that sweet pussy for me I wanna feel you cum around me.”
You sneak a hand to your clit and rub harsh circles, chasing your high as you hear sirens approaching. With one particularly hard thrust you're gone, creaming around his cock. He takes this as a sign to let go, cumming deep into your spent pussy. 
“Keep it all in there for me, Ok? They're gonna need some evidence when they question you.”
He pulls you in for a kiss as he pulls up his pants. “We should do this again.” he says with a cheeky smirk as loud bangs sound from your door. 
“I’ll think about it.” you smile as he climbs through your fire escape. 
“I’ll see you soon.” he smirks and clubs down, slipping into a black range rover and driving off. 
You rush to open your door, being met by officers with their guns drawn. You decide to give Mingyu a hard time, easily fitting into the role of the distressed woman. 
“He just left through the fire escape.” you say with a dramatic whimper, laughing on the inside about the night Mingyu’s about to have.
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floral-hex · 6 months ago
Text
me… sad boy
#I was going to whine a lot but why lot word when few word do trick?#I have been… soooooo anxious and depressed and I feel like I’m going to die soon & the world is ending the world is empty & I’m alone in it#I feel so sick#I need to get out and do something. I always need to get out and I never do and I’m dumb#so maybe I’ll just get messed up and stay in my room#I can’t sleep. I wake up tired and hurting. I can’t do anything.#woe is fucking me amirite?#also I just finished Black Sails and I cried a lot. why did I think getting emotionally attached to a show and finishing it was smart?#that’s not important. I mean it is but not really. what’s important is I constantly feel like the end is always looming over me#I miss my therapist but I’m scared to ever see him again.#same reason I’m scared to be around anyone outside of my immediate family: I’m a failure & I can’t bear to see that reflected in their eyes#so he joins a long list of people I can’t talk to anyone along with my dad and countless old friends#hey wait why did I segue to this?#boo hoo#analytically. logically. I can look past this and see how irrational these thoughts are#but goddamn if there’s not something chemical that just makes me feel sick and scared and I’m having a doozy of a time living with it#because Ian you need to work on long term goals. not just quick fixes like I dunno fucking eating pizza or playing video games#sorry. just wanted to vent. it’s been building up in me for days and I needed a quick whine#I shaved. I’m gonna get a haircut maybe tomorrow. if only to stave off my unhealthy feelings of ‘just shave your head at 3am’#my mom is finally reaching the point where she doesn’t need me to chauffeur her around all the time#and my brothers are finishing their semesters at school and also both have licenses now#so I think I can stop using those as excuses and try to… I dunno. live for myself now. that sounds cheesy.#gonna go get a low paying job doing something mindless so I can have extra cash for being alive#god I need a hug so bad#that’s not even… like… not even a lighthearted joke. I think if someone sincerely held me for a few minutes it would fix me. a little bit.#this is too much information#sorry I love you goodbye forever#but hey… really… I love ya… I mean maybe. not really. kind of. I appreciate ya and I’m here for ya… in spirit. like a ghost. a cool ghost.#you can ignore this#text
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charliehoennam · 6 months ago
Text
from cramps to comfort
a/n: my bestie @harmonity-vibes has been having a bit of a tough day and i just wanted to make something nice for her. luv u, hon 💗
pairing: tommy cahill x f!reader
summary: you're on your period, everything sucks so tommy makes it his mission to help you feel better
warnings: mentions of blood, period, fluff, language, not proof-read
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Getting off of work is the only thing you've been looking forward to the entire day. All you can think about is getting home and stewing yourself in a nice, hot bath to relief the aching cramps you’ve been feeling.
The day started off terribly wrong right off the bat. You had felt the cramps settling in the previous day and you even set a pad to try and prevent any accidents, but that was a total failure.
You woke up to the large red stain on your bedsheets and you just knew it was going to be one of those days.
As if the staining paranoia and the gut-twisting cramps weren’t enough to make you constantly uncomfortable, you also struggled to deal with your stupid fucking hormones.
Everything and everyone have been annoying or frustrating you for the past couple days. You hate that you feel like ripping everyone’s heads off and having their spleen for dessert. It’s not their fault; you’ve even managed to piss yourself off to the brink of tears. You just can’t help it.
You had no choice, but to brace yourself for the day. You thought about calling in sick, but you figured you could suck it up and face the day. It’d be over quickly and there was so much that you had to do.
After a hot shower to clean yourself up, you got dressed and took your phone from its charger by your nightstand in your rush to catch up with the clock.
Seeing Tommy’s name on the screen almost makes you forget about the pain.
“Morning, beautiful 🥰 Feeling better? Hoped we could have dinner together tonight?”
You read his message, but you have no time to write back. You’re running late thanks to your alarm and mother nature, so you scramble through your apartment to grab everything you could need.
The minute you lock your door, your phone starts buzzing. You lift it up to see who’s calling you and see your boyfriend’s face smiling back at you.
“Hey, Tommy”
“Morning, baby. You missed your alarm again?”
“Yeah, I think I forgot to set it last night. I really passed out, I was so tired.”
He can hear your footsteps going down the stairs as you make your way to the front entrance.
“Are you feeling any better though? You said you were feeling icky yesterday.”
“And now I know why. I got my period.”
“Oh, damn. I’m sorry, baby.”
“It’s not your fault, babe. Just Mother Nature being a bitch.”
“Is there anything I can d-“
“Fucking son of a bitch” you grumble as you push the stuck door to open. “Door never works. Sorry, babe. What did you say?”
“I asked if there’s anything I can do?”
“No, Tommy” you say holding your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you fish for your bus pass in your bag. “Fuck!” you groan. “Why can’t anything go right today?”
“What happened?”
“I gotta go back for my stupid fucking bus pass. I forgot it at home.”
“Baby, lemme give you a ride. I’m just a couple blocks over anyways.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be going to work? I don’t wanna make you late.”
“You won’t be, alright? Just wait there and I’ll pick you up, ok?”
“Alright, Tommy. Thank you so much.”
“See you in ten minutes, babe.”
You hang up and sit on the curb to wait for your boyfriend. The cold air tightens your muscles and you’re reminded of the pain in your core. You took medicine in your morning rush, but apparently, it wasn’t enough to numb it out entirely.
You sit and wait with your head tucked down over your arms. You’re so ready for the day to end.
Tommy soon arrives to pick you up as promised, but the wide grin on his face quickly disappears when he realizes how shitty you’re actually feeling.
It breaks his heart to see you in pain and feeling down in the dumps. He’s got a natural instinct for making people laugh and feel good. Not being able to do even that makes him feel useless.
It reminds him of the mental breakdown his brother went through years ago. Although he's gotten better and was able to return to his family a recovered man, depression hits him from time to time when he remembers what he had to endure.
Tommy never fails to cheer him up and remind him that he's a survivor. He might not be a doctor, but he does whatever he can to remind his loved ones that they are loved.
He listens to you vent on route to your workplace, making encouraging remarks when you mention your driving test is today during your lunch break. Tommy does his best to lift your spirits and reminds you of how well you’ve done during his lessons.
He’d been teaching you for the past couple weeks and, although he says you’ve improved a lot, you’re still nervous about the test because the instructor you were paired up with wasn’t exactly the friendliest of folks. It also didn’t help that Tommy is your boyfriend; he could be a little biased.
As you arrive at work, you thank him for the ride and kiss him good-bye. The hand he sets on your cheek makes you want to cancel the entire day just to be with him.
“Hey… All you gotta do is try the best you can today. And if it doesn’t go well, there’s always a tomorrow.”
His gentle voice chases your worries away.
“I know, baby. Thank you. Wish me luck?”
“All the luck in the world, sweetheart. Lemme know how it goes?”
“I will,” he pecks you once more before you climb out of his truck.
“Dinner at your place or mine?” he questions rolling the window down.
“Uhm, mine? Is that ok?”
“Fine by me, beautiful. Have a nice day. Love you!”
“Love you too” you chuckle and step back to let him roll the window back up. Tommy waits until you’re safely in the building to drive away.
Despite your best efforts, the day does not go as well as you had hoped.
The driving test was a total dud. Your instructor was a grade-A asshole. Your boss is riding you over some stupid report he managed to lose and accused you of not handing it in. Your insides feel like knives are churning in your walls. The headache you already took a second dose of painkillers after lunch still persists.
You can’t stop watching the clock and it seem that, as it gets closer to clock-out, time seems to go by even slower.
While you wither away at work, Tommy heads to the local drugstore. Standing the middle of the aisle, he stares at the vast variety of pads and tampons with a store basket in hand.
"What the f-" he whispers to himself as his eyes roam around in confusion. "Why does there have to be so many?"
His brows furrow like he's trying to build a spaceship. He picks one up to read the packaging. It might as well be in a foreign language because nothing makes sense to him.
He has no idea what difference between a pantyliner and overnight pad is. He doesn't understand why the tampons come in sizes.
Desperately confused, he whips his phone to dial his brother's number.
"Sam, hey! You got a minute?"
"Yeah. What's up?"
"I'm trying to get some lady shit for my girlfriend, but I don't understand any of this stuff."
"Yeah, I've been there before."
"Like how do i know what her size is? Is it like the size of her lady bits?"
"No," Sam chuckles. "It's according to her flow."
"How the fuck do i know that?"
"Just get the medium tampons when in doubt. And I'd suggest taking overnight pads. Some girls don't like sleeping with tampons."
"Alright. What are wings though? Should I get them with or without the wings?"
"They're like parts that open up and stick to the underwear, so it doesn't keep moving around. I always get the ones with wings."
Tommy nods and places the phone to hold with his shoulder as he grabs the products from the shelves and sets them in the basket.
"You should probably take some Pamprin too. Midol doesn't work for every girl."
"What the fuck is that?" he frowns.
"Medicine for cramps, Tommy. And my tip? When you're in her bathroom, take pictures of the brands she uses so you don't forget."
"Fuck, I didn't think of that. I gotta do that. Thanks, man."
With 5 minutes left of the extra hours you had to put in due to the driving test, you gather your things and head to the bathroom for a quick tampon change before starting your journey home on the bus.
You haphazardly wrap your scarf around your neck and hook your jacket on to finally make your long-awaited exit, thankfully the day is done.
The door flies open as you eagerly walk outside, but you freeze in your stride as you see Tommy standing in the parking lot, stood against his truck smoking a cigarette as he waits for you in the blistering cold.
He grins watching your face light up at the surprise.
“How long have you been waiting out here?”
“Not too long,” he lies. He’s freezing his balls off, but he doesn’t want to make you feel bad about it, especially since the intention was to surprise you. “I thought you could use a ride.”
“I most definitely can,” you nod walking towards him as he stomps his cigarette out.
He flashes a dopey smile as he cranes his head to kiss you hello. He tastes like smoke, but you don’t mind it. You’re just happy to see him and to feel his prickly beard on your skin.
“Got a couple things for you,” he smirks down at you.
“Oh? Like what?”
“You gotta get home and see,” he chuckles slyly.
You and Tommy had given each other a copy of your home keys as a special milestone in your relationship. It was a major step for him. His time in prison taught him to appreciate his freedom and personal space more, so allowing you to come and go freely meant he trusts you beyond comprehension.
“Just tell me there’s food. I really don’t wanna cook tonight.”
“There’s food, baby. I promise,” he smirks opening the passenger door to help you climb inside.
After a short straight drive home, you head up to your apartment and gasp as you walk inside.
On the table, you find a beautiful bouquet of flowers set in a pretty vase. That wasn’t there before. On the breakfast bar, you see you a box of pizza along with your favorite chips and chocolates all arranged neatly.
“There’s your favorite Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer too. And,” he pauses to walk over to the kitchen, grabbing a plastic bag off the counter. “I wasn’t sure what products you like better. I don't really understand this stuff but I got you medium tampons, night pads, Pamprin and some fuzzy socks,” he grins proudly. “I just thought they were cute.”
You laugh as you walk over to hug him, tears prickling at your eyes.
“Baby, this is so thoughtful. Thank you so much.”
 “Are you crying?” he asks worriedly.
“Yeah, but to be fair, I’ve cried like three time today already. It’s beyond my control. I’m just so tired and in pain all the time.”
“Aw, baby. I’m sorry. That’s gotta be tough. Is there anything else I can do? I-I can run you a bath? Hot water helps, right?” You nod in agreement.
The bubble bath you soak in melts your pain away. It could just be the medicine working, but the warmth of the water provides the relief you’ve been seeking the whole day.
Looking over at the feminine products on the bathroom sink counter, you smile to yourself wondering how you had managed to get so lucky with Tommy.
He might be a little rough around the edges. He smokes, he curses like a sailor, he’s got a temper, but he also takes care of you so well unlike any of your exes ever have before or at least he tries to.
“How you doing in there, sweetheart?” he smiles, snapping you out of your thoughts as he leans in the doorway already dressed in his warm sweatpants and white t-shirt.
“This feels so fucking good. You have no idea.”
“I don’t mean to rush you, baby. But the pizza’s all heated up. You need to eat too.”
“I know, I’m just so tired to move.”
“Yeah? Do you want me to help?” he asks genuinely worried. “I can dry you off and-and, you know…p-put it in you?”
You follow his hands as he reaches for the open box of tampon and takes one out to study it curiously.
“How the hell do you get this inside though?” he asks frowning confusedly as he lifts the box to read the instructions.
“Where’s the applicator? Wait, was I supposed to buy that too? Does that come separately?”
Despite his eagerness to help, you can tell he’s slightly nervous of the idea of putting a tampon in you. The instruction and the product alone have him so baffled.
Your laughs echo through the bathroom as he blushes and chuckles along shyly.
“I’m just saying, I ain’t scared of a little blood.”
“Thanks, babe. But I got it under control.”
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