#just as sad i was in high school lol

[whatupitsgiaaa]

me last year: i love college !!!!

me this year: oh my god it’s getting bad again

[uncanny-tranny]

I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:

There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

While Edwin’s more than a bit stand-offish and definitely not the most tactful, I never did get the sense that he doesn’t like people - in fact, I think his insistence that he’s “not good with people” and his general emotional detachment/disinterest has a lot more to do with his assumption that they don’t or won’t like him.

And while that’s very sad to think about… it’s not as if his belief here is hard to understand, considering his past experiences. But it’s left him quite guarded and lonely, and of course, the more he isolates himself from people other than Charles (and even here, he allows himself little vulnerability), the more he reinforces this fear that people won’t like him, and the less he allows himself to properly sympathize or empathize with others, which is why his friendships with Crystal and Niko and Monty (short-lived as that was) are so important. Once he started to let some of those walls down, to not be so scared of vulnerability and to be around people who allow themselves to feel and want so readily (to live! who allow themselves to live without fear of loving!), he’s really not nearly as bad with people as he seems to think he is - and, in fact, he’s actually quite good at saying or doing the right thing for them when it really counts.

[itspileofgoodthings]

School is going so great and also I am so exhausted and also I am having an existential crisis

[hajihiko]

while he doesnt play a direct role, dr0 (released before sdr2) describes kamukura as like. a rumor at the school prior to the tragedy (even a part of a group of things kyoko was investigating at hopes peak at the time)

so its very funny to imagine the dr1 kids being like 1) hes real ? 2) WE HAVE HIM IN OUR CUSTODY ? scary shit

It's like those "I heard he killed a man with a thumb" "I heard he knows every digit of pi" rumours but every one is true

[tartarusknight]

King of the Freaks | Part 9

Ao3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Steve and Eddie drop off the kids one by one on the way back and he’s tired. An entire day with the kids and too many sleepless nights added up. He’s basically nodding off in Eddie’s passenger seat when they stop in front of the trailer. “Steve?” Eddie’s voice is soft and warm, just like it had been in the closet. It makes Steve relax completely. “Hey, we’re here,” Eddie says softly and Steve blinks awake. He clumsily gets out of the car and Eddie catches him when he stumbles a little.

Steve curls against Eddie instinctively and Eddie wraps his arms around him slowly. “Thank you,” Steve whispered and Eddie gave him a small squeeze but he didn’t say anything. It made Steve snap back into himself. He jolts awake and pulls back quickly enough. For a moment, just a single moment he had felt… it was like when he fell asleep while Nancy studied. Getting to wake up to her soft smile. But this was different, it had to be different.

He looked over at his car and swallowed. They had school in the morning. “Do you want to stay the night? You seem really tired and I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep at the wheel or anything.” Eddie blurted out in basically one breath. Steve blinked as Eddie kept going. “We don’t have a spare bed or anything but you could definitely take my bed. I’d take the floor easily. I mean gotta treat royalty as royalty, right?”

Steve let out a soft laugh and Eddie searched his face for a moment. “Eddie Munson, trying to get me into his bed,” he teases and the other goes red. It makes Steve pause but… well making someone blush always feels good, doesn’t it? “Another time, I’ve got to take a shower before school.” He says softly and Eddie looks a little saddened.

But he nods, “of course. You’ve got your reputation to hold up too.”

Steve smiles softly, they both knew his reputation was shit. “Well, hair like mine is well loved. The kids are lucky I left the house without my full routine.”

Eddie snorts, “Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington.”

He shakes his head and he’s got a soft look in his eye. “Call me when you get home? Gotta keep this old soul from worrying.” He says lightly, and Steve nods.

He hesitates for a moment and looks at Eddie, “This was fun, right?”

“Uh, duh, Stevie. I spent the day with a bunch of nerds and you,” he says and Steve brightens. “We should do it again. Although if you want to do more adult activities, maybe not the kiddos.” He grins and Steve freezes. Eddie blinks and then his entire burns, “I meant drugs!” He shouted and Steve slaps a hand over his mouth to quiet him down.

This close to Eddie he can smell the lingering smell of weed, smoke, and leather. He can’t stop the laughter bubbling out of him. “Oh my god, I thought you were more discreet than that Eds.” He says and almost leans in closer.

Eddie pulls on Steve’s hand and his entire face is red. “I panicked,” he hissed and Steve’s brain halted.

Steve was raised by parents who read the articles in the news about queer people, he was always told how unnatural they were. But… then he met Tommy and saw the boy for who he was. He was sure that not all queer people were disgusting. Steve always enjoyed it when people liked him. He always enjoyed making people flush. So, Tommy’s crush was ignored and Steve never made his friend feel bad about it. But this was Eddie.

Feelings swirled inside of Steve as he took in Eddie. “So…?” Eddie asked awkwardly and Steve blinked back into himself. Weed.

Steve cleared his throat. Tommy used to get him high because Steve was always clingy when he got high. Steve never cared enough to stop it. He liked curling up against Tommy and getting all of his attention. He thought about doing it with Eddie and his palms were sweaty. “Yeah, that sounds like fun.” He whispers gently and Eddie looks over his face.

Steve wondered if Eddie knew he had a crush on Steve. Or if Eddie wasn’t aware of the feelings he had. Steve had watched as Tommy figured it out and asked Carol out in a fit of panic. It made Steve’s stomach drop and he straightened up and out of Eddie’s space. “Talk to you later, Munson.” He says and heads over to his car. Slipping in and refusing to look over at Eddie until the car was in reverse. As he backed out, he glanced over and Eddie gave him a small wave that felt kind of like a slap.

Steve didn’t even bother turning on the radio. His brain was loud enough by itself. He thought back to all of the girls he’s dated if you could even call it that. How they all thought about how hot he was and they all heard about him in bed. Nancy was the first real girlfriend and she dumped him because he wasn’t worth it. Tommy had gone out and got a girlfriend as soon as he realized his crush as if he couldn’t even believe he could like Steve. Like Steve was the worst possible crush he could have.

He thought of Eddie figuring out his crush and pushing Steve away just like everyone did. Because Steve wasn’t worth liking. Once people got past his looks, they couldn’t find a single thing to like about him. Did Eddie bring him into Hellfire just because he thought Steve was hot? Was it all just a ploy to see if Steve would sleep with him? If Steve said no, would he be alone again?

Steve had been trying to distance himself from Hellfire. But could he go back to being alone? Steve parked in the driveway of his house and choked on tears. Was Steve ever going to be more than just a pretty face?

He ran a hand down his face and tried to catch his breath. He had no clue how long he had sat there until he was able to make his way inside. He toed off his shoes and moved to the phone in the living room. He just had to do what he always did with Tommy. Ignore it, never acknowledge that you notice, and don’t lead him on. He dialed Eddie’s number and squeezed his eyes shut until Eddie answered with a happy, “Stevie!” Steve pushed back the memories of happy Steve-o’s as Tommy greeted him.

Sure, Steve had slept with a lot of girls just so they could get him out of their system but this was different. This made his stomach swirl and his palms sweat. It made him nervous and… it felt nice even if it really didn’t. He liked that Eddie liked him. It made him feel proud deep down but… He couldn’t- he liked women. “Hey, I’m home safe and sound,” he said softly.

“That’s good, I was getting a little worried. Did you stop off somewhere?” Eddie questioned and the thing was, Eddie always sounded so genuine. Like he wanted to hear about Steve’s day or how he was feeling. Steve had never known anyone who asked about him without having some motive behind it but all of Hellfire was different.

Steve cleared his throat, he understood the motive now. “Nah, I just got distracted. Um, I guess I was as tired as you thought- well not as tired. I didn’t fall asleep at the wheel or anything. I just- I sat in my car for way longer than I needed.” He laughed awkwardly and looked over at the clock, it was getting close to 9. Steve could use it as an excuse to get off the phone faster.

“Hey, do you mind if I stay on until the kids' radio in?” Eddie murmured and Steve blinked. “Weirdly enough it’s become like a part of my schedule, calling you after nine. But it’s before 9 and I feel weird not knowing if they’re all safe and sound. I mean it’s not like much happens in Hawkins, but it’s been kind of… nice.” Eddie rambled and Steve’s heart hurt.

“Course, just give me a minute to go grab the walkie.” He waited for an okay before heading downstairs to the couches and grabbing the walkie plus a blanket. He moved back into the living room and dropped on one of the uncomfortably stiff couches. He picked the phone back up, but before he said anything he noticed Eddie humming on the other side. Steve closed his eyes and he could picture Eddie moving around the small little kitchen in the Munson trailer with the phone against his ear.

“What are you doing right now?” He asked at the sound of something metallic on Eddie’s end.

He heard a clang then a muttered, “fuck.” Before he got a reply. “I was making toast.” Eddie huffed, “now I’ve got peanut butter on the floor instead of on the toast.”

Steve leaned back and lay on the couch, trying to get comfortable. “Yeah? Well, if you hadn’t freaked out, you wouldn’t be in this mess.” He tried to point out but all he got was an outraged squawk.

“Excuse you! I was distracted and you shocked me!”

Steve laughed softly, “Eddie, we’re on the phone? How could my voice shock you?” He got shushed and Eddie refused to answer.

“Well then,” Steve sighed. “We’ve got about uh, 30 minutes until the kids' radio in.” He offered before grabbing the blanket and wrapping himself up in it. He pondered a question to ask so it wouldn’t get awkward but Eddie beat him to the punch.

“So, Stevie, darling,” he drawled and Steve flushed because Eddie was flirting with him even if Eddie didn’t realize it. “I’ve been dying to know… how did you meet the kids?”

Steve looked up at the ceiling and laughed lightly, “it’s a long story.”

“We’ve got time,” Eddie says back.

Steve closes his eyes and sighs, “Mike’s Nancy’s younger, brother, right? Well, he’s also like Will’s number one fan. Mike has a binder of Will’s art. And well, because of Nancy and Mike, I ended up being around when they found Will. The kid had been through a lot and looked worse for wear… Joyce, she started asking me to look after Will if no one else could. Maybe just once a month. I got to know the kid a little but he was quiet and I could tell he didn’t really understand me. I let him be, for the most part, just keeping an eye on him. Until this Halloween.”

Steve felt emotions he hadn’t dealt with crawl up his throat, “Did you hear about my big fight with Nancy at the Halloween Party?”

Eddie hummed, “A little but mostly just that there was a fight and you two left separately.”

Steve sighed, “yeah. We basically broke up but Nancy was drunk, right? So, I uh, we talked the next day and fought again. She was… and I just felt like a frayed nerve. But I felt bad and I went to her house to apologize. She and Mike weren’t there but Dustin was.”

He laughed a little, “the kid took the flowers I bought and tossed them into the dirt before getting into my car. He lost his mom’s cat and demanded my help. So, apologizing to Nance was out and I got into my car with the little shit.” Steve paused because where could he go from there?

“What was the cat’s name?” Eddie asked, breaking through Steve’s thoughts and he laughed lightly.

“Mews, cute right?”

“Totally, gotta love it.”

Steve curled up a little tighter on the couch, “We found out a wild dog killed the cat. Which made Dustin determined to catch the dog and bring it in because he didn’t want it harming anything else.” Steve chuckled, “so the next few hours happened and it was the weirdest thing I’ve ever done. Dustin had radioed Lucas who dragged Max with and we set up a trap at the junkyard. We say the damn thing but it got away. Hopper got involved after that and when he was out looking for it, Billy bashed my face in until Max got him to stop.”

“Damn, sounds crazy,” Eddie laughed and Steve sunk further into the blanket.

“Yeah… uh, one of the weirdest days of my life.”

Eddie chuckles, “not the weirdest? Come on, what’s weirder than that?” Steve thinks of Nancy pointing her gun at him. Christmas lights flickering. A monster ripping out of the wall like all it was, was wallpaper. Of Jonathan grabbing his hand and pulling him down the hall. Jumping over a bear trap before waiting on a yellow smiling yoyo to drop. The silence and fear before Steve couldn’t take it anymore and shouted. Nancy telling him to run. How he listened for a moment before he saw the flashing lights from outside. Running back in and hitting a 7-foot-tall monster with a baseball bat littered with nails. Pushing it into a bear trap before Jonathan set it on fire.

Steve cleared his throat, “a story for another day.” He says instead and barely stops the urge to go grab his bat from under his bed.

"Did you ever apologize to Nancy?" Eddie questions and Steve hesitates for a moment.

He swallows down the pain, "no. Next time I saw her she was with Jonathan." He hates how Eddie goes quiet.

He rubs his face, “Your turn… uh, how did you meet the others?”

Eddie sighs like he’s a little disappointed. “Well, I’ve known Gareth the longest. His brother graduated last year, uh, when I was supposed to graduate. Anyways, I got to know Gareth through him, and well… Gareth’s always been short, people his age, he’s a freshman this year just in case you didn’t know, they teased him for it. But me being almost four years older, I scared them off a few times and we started our band not too long afterward.”

He sounds like he’s tapping on the counter of something. “Jeff is only a year behind us, well he was two years behind me but…” Eddie sounds unbothered but Steve wonders how much of that is a front. “He joined Hellfire to play d&d but it took him a little bit to actually become friends with us. While he knew d&d wasn’t evil he didn’t exactly trust our reputation. So many great rumors surrounding Hellfire,” Eddie laughed. “But eventually he also joined Corroded Coffin as well. And Grant’s the same age as Gareth. The two of them became friends when Grant moved here in… uh I think they were in 8th grade. I’m not sure. Anyways he’s been around for a couple of years.”

Eddie laughs a little, “nowhere near as entertaining as your story.”

Steve hums, “I think simple’s nice. I tried to stay as simple as I could for a long time. Just going with the flow… sometimes I miss how easy it was.”

It’s Eddie’s turn to hum, “well, if it helps, I like this version of Steve Harrington more. The one that cares, the one-”

“Who doesn’t bully you?” Steve offered and his chest twisted. He keeps his eyes closed, “I’m sorry if I ever bullied you. Really, you guys don’t deserve the shit you get.” He sighs and sits up, the blanket falling down. “I wish I put a stop to it when people actually gave a shit about my opinion.”

“I don’t think it would’ve mattered. We are easy targets. We’re freaks, Steve. We have to hold ourselves differently to get through the day but at the end of the day, we’re with people we actually like and get to be ourselves. I don’t think you did that before.” Eddie stated and Steve wished Eddie wouldn’t turn this around and make it about Steve.

“Just because popular kids hate themselves doesn’t mean shit, Eds. I never should’ve taken anything out on another person. It’s my shit and I should've just dealt with it.” Steve pressed and was startled when the radio crackled to life next to him.

He and Eddie listened to the kids, Nancy, and Jonathan all count off. “Steve is signing off,” he says softly into the radio once everyone is done. He does it without Dustin needing to push him and it makes him feel a little proud of himself. The radio goes quiet once again and he sits there in silence with the phone and radio in each hand. “Well, um, I’ll talk to you in the morning?”

There’s a crackle over the line, “yeah, Stevie. See you in the morning… and uh, just know that if you ever want to talk about your shit, I’ll listen.” Eddie promises and Steve swallows.

“Night,” he barely manages.

Steve barely makes out a small sigh, “night, sweetheart.”

He hangs up the phone and pulls himself closer. Choking on tears that come out of nowhere. Tucking his legs against his chest as tightly as he can until exhaustion wins out and he once again sleeps on the couch.

@zerokrox-bloglog @cyranyxx @adaed5 @the-redthreadd @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaringceyoustopcaring @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshitorthisshit @failedstarsandgoldencloudsds @bisexualdisastersworldd @deadlydodoss @anythingyouwanttobee @nburkhardtt @bestwifehaverr @thehumblefigtreee @megzdoodlee @swimmingbirdrunningrockk @mightbeasleepp @bxlthazarar @autumnal-dawnn @chillichatss @nonbinary-eddie-munsonon @the-daydreamer-in-the-cornerner @eddie-munson-is-my-wifewife @a-little-unsteddiedie @sharingisntkaren @a-huge-nerdy-nerd @0o-queendean-o0 @beckkthewreck @vi-an-te @vampireinthesun @newtstabber @dinosareawesome2137  @spicemallow @hellomynameismoo  @luthienstormblessed @briceslayed @angeldreamsoffanfic @dbquills @prideandsensibility @iwouldsail @ponfarrtimeatthevulcannightclub @spectrum-spectre @the-chilly-kat @yearningagain @loopsmd @starlight-archer @sleepy-time @goodolefashionedloverboi  @crazyshipper67  @sherrylyn628  @bidisastersworld  @v3lnys  @n0connections  cherixxx69  theotalksalot  tailsfromthecrypt  ledleaf  grimmfitzz  @pyrohonk  

(I can’t tag anymore people I’m sorry!!! If you want to stay updated pls follow me or go onto Ao3 and subscribe to the story!)

[widevibratobitch]

something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.

[im-still-watching-anime]

oh my god actual good vegetarian instant ramen i can FINALLY get the full naruto fan experience😌

[kuiinncedes]

:c

[nerdy-talks]

Warning : This post is going to be a very personal rage dump/rant.

There are heavy topics involved, including cancer and death. Also explicit language.

Out of consideration and respect to those of you who would prefer not to read it (since I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to), I will continue under the cut

Also pictures of my dogs, to break up the doom and gloom ^^"

-------------------------

I absolutely despise, loathe, hate toxic people.

Especially when those toxic people are the “wolf in sheep’s clothing” type.

Especially when those people don’t have the fucking balls to confront others directly and just choose to slink about behind the scenes like scummy little vermin.

So… my uncle Joe passed away a few days ago.

It was expected. He had been battling pancreatic cancer, which ended up spreading into his liver and lungs.

With that being said, even though he will be dearly missed, at least he no longer has to suffer.

I was close with my uncle.

In fact, it’s no exaggeration to say that I was much closer to him than I was with my own father (my Dad was a permanent presence in my life up until the day he died, but we had an extremely tumultuous, dysfunctional, volatile, abusive relationship.)

We visited my uncle Joe regularly ever since I was a baby, all the way up until somewhat recently. He spent countless hours at our place throughout the years. He was super close with my parents, doing tons of outdoorsy activities with them. I spent a good amount of my childhood with his family. When his wife passed away, my parents helped him and supported him. He helped us move twice. My Mom took his kids places when she was just dating my Dad. When my Dad passed away, my uncle Joe was there for me without me even having to ask.

Literally everything was good between us, and always has been.

It’s also thanks to my uncle Joe that we gained a new furry member of our family last year, who we named Dandy 💙 my uncle’s dog had puppies, he asked how many we wanted, so we took one lol

(I’ll include a few poor quality pictures because… well, I should probably break up this message with a little “positivity”, right?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was Dandy when he was still just a baby, 4 weeks and 3 days old.

Look at the cute little potato 🥹

We visited my uncle Joe every week to see him grow and develop, anxiously waiting until he was old enough to bring home.

And this was the day he finally joined our family ~

Look at how tiny he was compared to my one Black Lab (sorry for the terrible quality picture. Our carpets are old, but I swear they don't look that dingy ^^")

And here's Dandy today, one year and five months later ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway! Back to my rage-fueled rant :

My uncle Joe met someone about a year and a half ago, and she moved in with him pretty quickly.

Which certainly wasn't a bad thing. We were genuinely happy for him.

She seemed very nice, sweet, accepting, kind, receptive, and welcoming.

But for whatever reason, the dynamic changed the moment my uncle fell ill and the control landed in her hands.

Since my uncle Joe was sick, we all mutually decided that it would be best if communication was between my Mom/me and her (we would text her to check in to see how he was doing, as well as find out if/when it was a good time for us to visit)

This is where some inconsistencies started to appear.

For example :

She would tell us not to visit because my uncle was too sick (which was totally understandable!), but then would tell us a few days later how he was doing great and had fishing trips planned all week.

I 100% believed her at the time.

After all, everyone has both good and bad days.

But then when we would visit, my uncle Joe told us how he couldn’t fish anymore because the chemo was causing neuropathy in his hands, and he couldn’t hold his fishing pole or cast/reel the line in.

Though we just assumed he discovered those issues after she told us about those supposed fishing trips.

But the true eye-opener happened during our one visit. My uncle Joe welcomed us into his home, we talked, found out some updates about his health (which was declining), etc. He was open/transparent with us about everything.

When my uncle went to the bathroom during that visit, his girlfriend made the comment “I probably should have told you guys not to come here, since he’s in a lot of pain today.”

Knowing my uncle, I didn’t budge from my seat. I knew that if he wasn’t up for company, he wouldn't hesitate to tell us to leave.

And I’m glad we didn’t leave… because literally 10 minutes later, her granddaughter came waltzing in to visit her.

My uncle came out of the bathroom, sat on the sofa doubled over in pain as he was talking to me and my Mom (at this time, we asked him directly if we should leave, since we knew he was dealing with a lot and we didn't want to overstay our welcome. He told us not to leave, that we could stay because he felt like shit regardless).

But as he was sitting there, clearly in pain, his girlfriend and her granddaughter asked him to get up and carve a watermelon for them instead of doing it themselves.

What sense does that make?

'I should have told you guys to stay away, but I’m gonna make him strain himself and carve a watermelon for us even though he’s already suffering and struggling enough'

…. Okay. Fuck you too.

We obviously didn’t say anything. We just visited for a little while longer, then left with a friendly/cordial “goodbye, nice to see you again” to her and her granddaughter, told my uncle that we would be thinking about him and see him again, and wished them a good day.

Two and a half months passed before we heard from them again.

Why? Because she refused to answer our numerous calls and texts.

She deliberately ignored us, which actively prevented us from having an opportunity to see my uncle.

And she knew damn well that we wouldn’t just show up at my uncle’s house unannounced because we didn’t want to disturb him if he wasn’t feeling up for company.

We only got in contact with him again after he directly called our phone and left a message saying “hey, just checking in. I hope you’re both doing okay, since I haven’t heard from either of you in a while. Stop by when you can”.

So we went to his house.

When we explained the situation to my uncle Joe/passive aggressively confronted his girlfriend, her excuse was “oh, sorry. The reception here is bad so my phone was probably just acting up.”

For two and a half months?

Even though she was literally using her phone in front of us, which appeared to be working perfectly fine?

Even though she’s always on her phone every time we see her?

Even though she could have reached out to us, yet chose not to? Not even once in two and a half months??

I call bullshit.

My Mom even told her that she was on the verge of sending a text that said “okay, cunt.” since we thought she was ignoring us after not responding to our multiple texts/calls.

We all laughed it off as a joke, Joe's girlfriend even said “hahaha, I probably would have laughed if I got a text like that!” … but it most certainly was not a joke.

(My Mom is extremely outspoken and normally doesn’t hold back, especially when it counts. She’s the type of person you either love or hate, but she’s definitely one of a kind and the perfect example of a strong, independent woman who gives zero fucks lol)

Anyway, that visit went well. We behaved like usual, talked to both my uncle and his girlfriend normally, caught up on stuff, etc.

After that interaction, his girlfriend miraculously responded to every single call and text (bad reception, huh? Funny how she had zero service issues after we called her out in front of my uncle)

But basically every time we talked with her, she would say “it’s not a good time to come by, he’s really sick.”

And we would always respond with things like “we totally understand”, “thank you so much for letting us know”, “we wish there was something we could do to help”, “we’re here for you if you ever need anything or anyone to talk to since we know this also isn’t easy for you”, “we’ll check in next weekend”, “please take care of yourself”, “we’ll be thinking about you”, etc.

Then finally, my uncle Joe told us to stop up again two weeks ago. So we did.

He was extremely sick and remained in bed, but we said hello and he told us that we are more than welcome there and we could just visit with his girlfriend. So we did. The visit remained cordial and friendly.

The next day, my uncle called and apologized for not getting up when we were there.

We immediately told him that he has absolutely no reason to be sorry, that we completely and wholeheartedly understand, that we would understand even if he told us to leave the moment we arrived, and that we were keeping him in our thoughts.

The week after that, his girlfriend said he was too sick for company (which again, we obviously understood and thanked her for letting us know, wished them the best, etc).

We didn’t visit my uncle Joe after that. He passed away before we had another opportunity to see him.

Now, here’s where my anger starts to come into play :

His girlfriend didn’t let us know when he passed away.

We found out from my other uncle, Mike, two days later. (My Dad had 3 brothers. His eldest brother is my uncle Joe who just passed away. His youngest brother is my uncle Mike who let us know what happened.)

So my Mom called her and offered her condolences, asked how she was doing, told her that we’re here for her, and asked about the arrangements. My Mom also told her that Mike was the one who let us know about Joe.

She made the comment “there’s going to be a small ceremony, but only for immediate family.”

Which didn’t make sense to me or my Mom. We were both very close with my uncle Joe, we are family. So that comment seemed a bit… off?

But we dismissed it and instead talked to my uncle Mike.

We asked him to please keep us updated, since we wanted to pay our respects to my uncle Joe and our family.

Well… I don’t know what the Hell that lady said to my cousin (Joe’s son), but he told my uncle Mike not to tell us anything else.

That snake in the grass obviously ran back and told my cousin that we found out about Joe’s passing from Mike.

But uhh... We deserved to know.

Now, we literally just found out this morning that the ceremony was held yesterday. We weren't invited (the day/time wasn't publicly announced).

We were excluded. We were denied the opportunity to say our final goodbye.

I blame his girlfriend. Completely and entirely.

I especially find it super interesting that she didn’t attend the ceremony either… almost like she was afraid that we might possibly show up and confront her (which we would never do, purely out of respect for my uncle Joe)

When my uncle Mike told us, he apologized. But we told him that we don’t blame him, since we certainly didn’t want to put him in the middle of it.

It just pisses me the fuck off.

Bad enough she actively prevented us from seeing my uncle Joe, even on his “good” days. But then to keep us away from the ceremony too?

And she HAD to have fed my cousin a bunch of lies and bullshit to cause him to tell my uncle Mike not to inform us of anything. (Luckily for us, my uncle Mike loves to talk so he didn’t mind spilling the tea. He just felt guilty for not doing so sooner. But I understand why he waited, and I hold zero animosity towards him)

It’s especially confusing and upsetting since we always remained on good terms with all of my cousins.

We saw my cousins regularly, got along well with them, joked around with them.

Literally nothing that we did or didn’t do would warrant such a reaction from them.

If there was any fault on our end, I certainly wouldn’t be angry about this situation or waste my time typing this up. (I'm not the type of person who plays the victim, I admit when I'm wrong and own up to my faults/wrongdoings. That just isn't the case here.)

So it’s seriously a mystery to me… which is why I blame my uncle Joe’s girlfriend.

Absolutely nothing changed in the decades of knowing my uncle and his kids. Literally the only recent change was her coming into the picture.

(I also want blame my cousin, since he’s older than me and has a mind of his own… but I also know that he’s grieving the loss of his father, so I feel like that bitch took advantage of the situation to say whatever she wanted about us while my cousin is vulnerable and not thinking clearly/properly).

Regardless of the finer details…. I am absolutely livid.

It’s like a giant “fuck you” to us, like we aren’t good enough, like our feelings don’t matter.

And that pisses me off beyond belief.

I’m debating whether or not I should confront her.

On one hand, I probably should just let it go and move on.

But on the other hand… I want to play dumb, call her, and be like “How are you doing? Do you know when the ceremony is?“ just to see what she says.

And then tell her to go fuck herself.

Is that immature of me? Sure.

But I’m angry. Annoyed. Irritated. Fuming. My rage is boiling, my wrath is building. And I feel like exploding.

Needless to say… my Mom was right. That lady is a cunt. A toxic, festering, diabolical, oozing, gaping, pungent cunt.

If you’ve read up to this point, I genuinely apologize for dumping all of this off here.

I just needed to vent a bit.

I also owe everyone who has tagged me a HUGE thank you. You have all given me a much needed distraction from everything, plus I genuinely love being tagged.

So I will absolutely start posting/replying to those a little later (I've already started on them and have them saved in my drafts, I just want to finish them all and post everything at once lol)

[e77y]

Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness

[archersgoon]

im terrible at fiction because i have no patience for like 90% of dogshit fathers. "oh you can't just leave your father behind" yes you can. kill him

[cementcornfield]

rules: list your ten favorite characters from ten separate fandoms, then tag ten people!

ja'marr / football 😌

mickey / shameless

snafu / the pacific

michael jones / youtube

omar / the wire

jackie / that 70s show

grantaire / les mis

shaolin fantastic / the get down

martha / the americans

anne elliot / jane austen

thanks for the tag @donttelltheelff! this was fun! if any mutuals want to do this one feel free :) and let me know :)

[puffpawstries]

does honno have any au versions?

Not many! I do have some that Honno are in that my friend made but their a lil different from Hesokuri Wars Aus? I do want to draw some Hesokuri Wars Aus! When I have the time for it so I'll put down the one's I like! and want to make content for! Youkai- I'd like to make something for this au? but I'll put it on the back burner for now till I get ideas for this,,, Vampire- I do like this one what else can I say? I'm a monster enjoyer but my friends au for this one a lil different? I enjoy it though :] I love the au content I've seen moots drawn! Musical- I think this one is neat! I've even found this song I'd think would fit hanichi in the au as well? but I've always thought of a funny idea of how Honno and Ichimatsu meeting and basically it being Honno walks in while Ichimatsu is in mid using black magic and think their gonna tell on him or something?? I'll use this audio as a example! Jason Ichimatsu-(aka/Calming Detective) LOOK HEAR ME OUT only reason I bring this up cause my friend showed me a song that would be hanichi mostly Honno point of view...and I'm insane and I wanna make a silly skit bit comic of the two Work/2- I think it pretty fun to have Artist Ichimatsu and Writer Honno make a manga story together.... NGL I do want to make my own Au? Maybe a funny crossover au? Idk I want to have the matsuno brothers go on a wacky adventure trying to get back home type shit?

[oldphanny]

so a super old friend from literal primary school just reached out to me for the first time in like over a decade and they have a kid now and stuff and I'm just sitting with the fact that I'm like almost in my late 20's and literally have nothing to show for it.

Like 'what have you been up to'

Literally nothing. Trauma and nasty people being nasty. Im essentially back to where I was as a teen. So anyway, cute kid 🥺 I'm gonna keel over and die now.

[iluvbabycows]

being a girl is getting a lil high and turning on music that you can cry sing to while thinking about your ex who did you so wrong even though you’re literally the happiest you’ve ever been and don’t miss him at all at all at allllll!!!!!