#just adding my $0.02

[frangipani-wanderlust]

I'm voting for "white supremacy!!1!one!" And I say this not to claim everyone must agree because these are all terrible. But I think that is kind of the super-hot-take from which all the other hot takes flow. Or maybe more of a bellweather for the underlying super take. It so clearly signals a recency bias and an inability to sympathize with anything that isn't trying to be so aggressively Diverse that it starts losing structural integrity.

[atthebell]

Updated QSMP AO3 Work Language Stats-- as of April 1st, 2024 (no, this is not an april fools' joke)

June 6 2023 stats, July 9 2023 stats, August 13 2023 stats, December 3 2023 stats

Hello! I meant to get this done around the year anniversary of the server, but that ultimately didn't end up happening, so we have it now about a week late-- considering the growth rate for the fandom, this shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Before we get into it, I want to say that the last year of QSMP fandom has been amazing. There's been a lot to deal with, but there's also been plenty of amazing fanworks, and I really do want to celebrate that along with the multilingual nature of the fandom.

Fun tidbits/disclaimers to start:

QSMP has 8739 works as of today!! That's about 6x as many works as it had in June of 2023, when I started doing these stats.

AO3 has 12,750,000 total works as of today (this is a rough estimate that displays on the front page when you're logged out, not an exact number).

There's a few more languages since my last update, including new languages on the server!

I've mentioned my methodology on previous stats posts, but just as a reminder, I gather this data manually by filtering by language within the QSMP tag. On occasion I miss a new language, but on the whole the significant numbers should be accurate.

QSMP Numbers:

[Image Description: A table with three columns; the first lists languages, the second the number of works, and the third the percentage of total works. For the languages column, each language is listed first in that language and then in English in parentheses, and English, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, French, Korean, and German are all color-coded to indicate that they are spoken on the server. End ID.]

English has 7305 works and 83.71% of total works in QSMP.

Spanish has 893 works and 10.22% of total works.

Brazilian Portuguese has 452 works and 5.17% of total works.

French has 47 works and 0.54% of total works.

Korean has 0 works and 0% of total works.

German has 2 works and 0.02% of total works.

Russian has 7 works and 0.08% of total works.

European Portuguese has 5 works and 0.06% of total works.

Mandarin has 4 works and 0.05% of total works.

Polish has 2 works and 0.02% of total works.

The last nine languages, Latin, Esperanto, Malaysian Malay, Filipino, Vietnamese, Turkish, Danish, Finnish, and Swedish, all have 1 work and 0.01% of total works respectively.

Observations:

English has maintained 80% or above for the last year; the current percentage (83.71%) is the highest it's been at that I've observed. Spanish has been at a slight decline since the start of the server, with its high happening in June (again, from my observations) at 17.73% and the current percentage (10.22%) being the lowest. This could be attributed in part to a steady decrease of active Spanish speaking members over the course of the server but I wouldn't want to assign causation. Brazilian Portuguese works have stayed around 5% since December, French is at 0.5%. Korean is at 0, which isn't surprising to me; Korean has low numbers on AO3, and I assume most Korean speakers use other fanfiction websites. German is at 2 works, which I believe have been there for a bit (as in, since before Hugo was added).

European Portuguese obviously makes sense to be on here, as do Russian and Chinese (two of the most used languages on AO3 aside from English), and their numbers don't surprise me-- they haven't changed much over the course of the server's history. The other one-work languages are interesting, and to me demonstrate the growth of the server & fandom along with the way the fandom incentivizes and encourages creating fanworks in one's native language(s).

AO3 Numbers Across the Site:

[Image Description: The same table as above, with AO3's site-wide stats inserted into the latter two columns. End ID.]

To repeat, AO3 has 12,750,000 total works across the site as of today.

English has 11,180,000 works and 87.69% of total works in QSMP.

Spanish has 154,900 works and 1.21% of total works.

Brazilian Portuguese has 35,980 works and 0.28% of total works.

French has 61,620 works and 0.48% of total works.

Korean has 2,957 works and 0.02% of total works.

German has 26,170 works and 0.21% of total works.

Russian has 266,200 works and 2.09% of total works.

European Portuguese has 1,150 works and 0.01 % of total works.

Mandarin has 766,200 works and 6.01% of total works.

Polish has 18,270 works and 0.14% of total works.

Latin, Esperanto, Malaysian Malay, and Danish have 95, 125, 116, and 344 works respectively and 0.00% of total works.

Filipino has 9,665 works and 0.08% of total works.

Vietnamese has 8,354 works and 0.07% of total works.

Turkish has 3,400 works and 0.03% of total works.

Finnish has 2386 works and 0.02% of total works.

Swedish has 1,039 works and 0.01% of total works.

All these numbers come from AO3's Languages page.

Observations:

The only changes I see here from June that I find interesting are that English has gone down over a percentage since last year-- I'm not a statistician, so I'm not sure if it's a super significant amount of change, but since English is by far the most tagged language on the site, I think any notable change is interesting. Mandarin is up slightly, but again, I'm not sure how to go about measuring what is a significant amount of change. Otherwise there's not a ton of changes I've seen over the last year, at least not in regards to the languages I've been tracking.

QSMP Changes Since June 2023:

[Image Descriptions: Two tables like the ones above; one is the QSMP numbers from June, as linked at the top of the post. One is the QSMP numbers for this month, as displayed above. End ID.

Biggest thing of note here is just the amount of languages-- we've gone from eight tagged languages to 19 tagged languages, more than doubling the number of languages from June. Super impressive! I hope we continue to see more and more languages used in fanworks.

Brief personal opinions time

In previous stats posts, I talked about reasons as to why these languages break down like this and what makes people interested in various characters. I think those points are all still pretty true, particularly the ones about interest in certain characters because of roleplay skill and centrality to the narrative, along with the usual reasons people like certain MCRP characters (hot creator, existing fondness from prior series, etc.) but I think the ways the server has changed and the characters people have latched onto as time has gone on have shifted somewhat, which is interesting to me.

This is less related to AO3 numbers and more the general fandom, but it's interesting to me to experience the fandom on Tumblr, Twitter, and AO3, where the language usages and focus on certain characters differs so much across platforms. We've all talked about this before, but the lack of an autotranslation feature on here really prevents a lot of multilingualism, whereas I've noticed a decent amount of people reading fic in various languages, probably bc the level of interactivity is very different on AO3 versus here.

If I have any more interesting analysis/theories/opinions/etc. I'll rb with those.

Final disclaimers:

Fics often get deleted from the archive for a myriad of reasons, and in the last several months there have been a lot of things that could and have led to works being deleted. This means both the growth rate for the fandom (which I'm not numerically tracking but do keep an eye on more casually) as well as these specific stats are impacted by these deletions. Not to get on my soapbox, but as someone who finds fandom history and archiving really important, I want to encourage people to orphan works rather than delete them. Here is the AO3 FAQ section on orphaning.

Languages are manually tagged by users; they are not double checked by the archive nor by me (I am not looking through almost nine thousand fics to check if the language tagged is actually accurate). Sometimes people tag the wrong language for various reasons, I can't do anything about this and on the whole most works are tagged correctly.

People sometimes tag for the wrong fandom, either on purpose or by accident, or works are wrangled into QSMP even though they don't necessarily involve the server. Wranglers make decisions based off usage, but if you genuinely feel there is some error in how something is wrangled, you can make a polite request for it to be fixed with Support and Feedback.

I am a volunteer tag wrangler for AO3; this does not give me any extra data-gathering capabilities nor do I agree with all actions/statements the org makes. I am disclosing this, and always disclose this, to make sure people are aware of any bias I may have. This is not free reign to harass me or any other wranglers who disclose their volunteer work.

If I did any math wrong, please politely let me know and I will fix the data. Again, I am not a statistician nor particularly talented at math, I'm just a nerd about languages and I enjoy looking at stats. Also sometimes people post or delete works while I'm in the middle of doing stats (this has happened, without fail, every time I've done these), so the numbers are inevitably a little off. I've learned to live with it.

[hongtonie]

i finally hit 1k!!! (no thanks to tumblr glitching my follower count) i'm really glad so many people like the little images i make☺️ to say thank you i prepared a little something! i've put together all the overlays i have downloaded that i use in my gfx as well as the fonts i've collected over the past couple years (and an updated giffing "tutorial"!) love u all hope november is kind to you<33

for starters here is the mega folder with all of my fonts and pngs! below is my semi-updated giffing process along with some of my actions<3

my process is pretty much the same as my old tutorial but now i've changed how i export gifs! my basic process is outlined in the gif below and and i've added 3 of my actions i use almost every time i gif in this google drive! (explanations below) :]

so after i know what clip i want, i put it into vapoursynth (download tutorial) and once that's saved i screencap it. what i do for screencapping is open the mov in mplayer osx extended and hold down shift+command+s but i know there's way easier ways to do it that i haven't figured out yet lol (tutorial i just found here)

once the screencaps are all on my desktop i delete any extras on either end of the clip i want and put them in a folder just so it's easier to load them in to photoshop. to do that, on the home page of photoshop go to file -> scripts -> load files into stack, then from that menu browse -> select all the screencaps you want to use for the gif and click open then ok

after they're all loaded into photoshop this is where i use my first action which just shortcuts all the way to the sharpening being done. once that's done i go to image -> mode -> 16 bits/contrast. this can help if the background is super pixely or anything like that. then i mess around with sharpening if i feel like it's too much. usually i'll change the opacity of the second sharpen layer to 50 and/or change the settings of the first sharpen layer like 200 to 150 or 0.3 to 0.2, whatever i feel like looks best. something i've also learned over the years is that sometimes you let noise do the heavy lifting and don't worry about making it look too sharp. if the gif is still a little bit unsharpened (?), the noise will make it look fine

then i do coloring which is the fun part! like i said, my process is more or less the same as my old tutorial so i'll just skip over that part and if you want more details feel free to check that one out. once i'm done with that i combine it all to a smart object, add noise (usually 1-1.5 these days), and then use my second action!

after the second action does its thing, i select all frames and set the rate. i usually set it to 0.04 for youtube videos and 0.02 or 0.03 for ts files. then, because vs leaves me with duplicate frames, i run my action for duplicates which selects all of the unwanted frames and then go to the hamburger menu just above the timeline -> delete frames. then it's ready to be saved!

[thatwritergirlsblog]

Types of Editing Services

With the launch of my freelance editing business, Gentle Sea Editing, tomorrow (1 June 2023), I thought it would be a good idea to discuss the different types of editing. 

Some of these services are only applicable to creative writing works, but services like copy-editing and proofreading are relevant for any piece of writing.

1. Developmental Editing

A developmental edit evaluates the big picture and addresses issues at story level.

It looks at things like plot structure, character development, pacing, chapter and scene structure, descriptions, adherence to genre expectations, clichés, and overused tropes.

Usually, this type of editing service won’t take the form of actual changes to the manuscript. Rather, it comprises an editorial report addressing the strengths, weaknesses and issues of the work, as well as suggestions. There may also be some margin comments if necessary or if that is the specific editor’s style.

According to the Editorial Freelancers Association (EFA), the average rate for developmental editing is between $0.03 and $0.039 per word. That means that the developmental edit of a 90 000 word book would cost between $2700 and $3510.

I offer developmental editing services at $0.017 per word. So, the developmental edit of a 90 000 word book would cost $1530.

2. Line Editing

A line edit addresses writing style and craft on a line-by-line level.

It looks at things like voice, language use, word choice, tense, point of view, clarity and readability, filtering, filler words, show vs tell, pacing, and flow.

Usually, this type of edit takes the form of comments in the margin of the manuscript. Because this service involves stylistic changes, most editors won’t just amend the text; they’ll add a comment highlighting an issue and providing suggestions.

According to the EFA, the average rate for line editing is between $0.04 and $0.049 per word. That means that the line edit for a 90 000 word book would cost between $3600 and $4410.

I offer line editing services at $0.025 per word. So, the line edit of a 90 000 word book would cost $2250.

3. Copy-editing

A copy edit focuses on technical errors at word and sentence level.

It looks at things like spelling, punctuation, syntax, grammar, usage, paragraph structure, repeated words, typos, and style inconsistencies.

Usually, this type of edit involves the editor making actual changes to the manuscript and adding comments where necessary. Additionally, most editors will keep a style sheet as they work in order to maintain consistency. I give clients this style sheet along with the edited manuscript. If your editor doesn’t automatically do this, ask them for it. It’ll help you to keep your grammar and usage consistent if you make any subsequent changes, and it will help your proofreader.

According to the EFA, the average rate for copy-editing is between $0.02 and $0.029. That means that the copy edit of a 90 000 word book would cost between $1800 and $2610.

I offer copy-editing services at $0.02 per word. So, the copy edit of a 90 000 word book would cost $1800.

4. Proofreading

A proofread is the final review of a project. It focuses on proper formatting, layout and catching any errors not corrected during the copy edit.

It looks at things like punctuation, spelling, hyphenation, word use consistency, headers, chapter styles, scene breaks, paragraph styles, formatting, typos, repeated words and page layout. 

Because the changes are mechanical, the proofreader will usually make them to the manuscript itself without adding comments. However, I would recommend that the proofreader still use Track Changes, so the author can make the final decision on the changes.

According to the EFA, the average rate for proofreading is between $0.02 and $0.029 per word. That means that the proofread of a 90 000 word book would cost between $1800 and $2610.

I offer proofreading services at $0.01 per word. So, the proofread of a 90 000 word book would cost $900.

Let’s face it: Editing is expensive

Each freelance editor decides their own rates, usually with reference to their experience and qualifications. So, you can get editing at cheaper-than-average prices; just make sure that the editor is still adequately qualified and good at their job.

Additionally, most editors offer combos, which allow you to get two or more types of editing at the same time, usually at reduced cost.

I offer a developmental, line and copy edit combo for $0.05 per word, which is 20% cheaper than the individual services combined. (That’s $4500 for 90 000 words.)

I also offer a developmental and line edit combo for $0.036 per word, which is 15% cheaper than the individual services combined. (That’s $3240 for 90 000 words.)

Finally, I offer a line and copy edit combo for $0.038 per word, which is 15% cheaper than the individual services combined. (That’s $3420 for 90 000 words.)

I firmly believe that the same person should not edit and proofread the same manuscript.

Which edits do I need?

Unless you are traditionally published, the editing services you choose is up to you.

If you are publishing a piece of writing, especially commercially, you need at least one type of edit. Trust me, your product won’t be up to scratch if you are the only person who’s looked at it.

I would not recommend skipping the copy edit and proofread.

However, you might decide not to have your work edited developmentally if you have been crafting stories for a long time, and have enlisted critique partners and beta readers.

How do I choose an editor?

If you are having a novel edited, look out for someone with some sort of fiction/creative writing experience. It’s preferable to have an editor who knows something about storytelling and plot structure, especially for a developmental edit. 

Try to get an editor who has obtained a qualification in editing itself, not just in the English language or creative writing. Editing is a whole different ball game and it requires specialized training.

Ask for testimonials if you don’t find them on the editor’s website.

Look at the person’s website and any communication you exchange with them. Are there errors and inconsistencies? Decide whether this is someone you would trust with your writing.

Editors should offer a free sample edit. This allows you to submit a small extract for editing in order to assess the editor’s competence and style. You should never have to pay for a sample edit!

If you would like to use Gentle Sea Editing, you can request a quote and a sample edit now.

[callsign-rogueone]

Okay, here’s my $0.02 about the Sweetheart poly fic thing. I’m not able to keep things short to save my life, so thanks in advance for reading this lol.

Sweetheart has these vulnerabilities and insecurities that she’s not willing to let most people see. She’s built up walls and puts on a mask to guard herself. It took months of being consistent, of Ridoc chipping away at her “armor”, and then the realization that he saw through the steely facade to her “soft heart” from the beginning for her to be willing to let him in.

That hasn’t happened with Sawyer. And though I have no doubt you have the skills to create a scenario where we can believe she’s willing to let him in too, I’m not sure that him just stumbling in and joining them would work for her.

And even if you build up the trust between her and Sawyer and make him prove himself, I kind of feel like Ridoc is just her person. Like he’s the only one that fits with her just right, and their little relationship needs to be protected at all costs. Like adding someone else to the mix would detract from how rare and genuine it was for Ridoc to see *her*.

Also, just as a side note, with the part where Sawyer’s like, “God, he’s always like this *eyeroll, eyeroll, eyeroll*” it gave me more of a Garrick with Violet vibe. Like he approves of her and would even be friendly with her, but he’s just glad his bestie found the right girl.

Obviously I trust you, and if you do end up writing it with Sweetheart, I’m still going to love it. But those are just my thoughts. I’m all for a poly fic, and that even fits well for Ridoc and Sawyer. But based on what we’ve seen of Sweetheart so far, I don’t know that it fits “her”.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to recruit some more Garrick girlies so we can win the other poll. There’s enough Liam content out there already.

Ridoc is just her person. Like he’s the only one that fits with her just right, and their little relationship needs to be protected at all costs. Like adding someone else to the mix would detract from how rare and genuine it was for Ridoc to see *her*.

I wanna call off the vote now omg. like that's it, I'm convinced. you're so right.

I was originally thinking it could be a cool dynamic to have this seemingly cold and un-affectionate girl with two smiley idiots (using that word affectionately lmao) absolutely in love with her and everyone else is just like. how did that happen. but the problem there is that she'd have to trust Sawyer enough to let him see her vulnerable, let alone to touch her (she isn't very touchy at all, something she's going to have to work through with Ri as their relationship progresses).

I like the comparison you made of Sweetheart and Sawyer to Vi and Garrick -- they're chill, they'll protect each other if needed, but that's kinda it (and of course, both boys are going to lightly make fun of their bro for simping, but like you said, at the end of the day they're just glad he has someone).

I definitely want to develop Sweetheart's friendships with the rest of the gang in future chapters. She's kinda the extra one in the marked group, not having a bestie or a partner, so down the line as she becomes more comfortable with Ridoc, she's going to become part of their gang and get pulled into their shenanigans, wether she wants to be or not lol

Now I just have to find a good petname for the boys to use for reader in the other fic... how do we feel about princess? they certainly take very good care of her... maybe that's too corny tho. idk.

Garrick's only three votes behind Liam in the bonded-dragons poll right now, (four days to go!) but even if he doesn't come out on top, I still have two spicy pieces for him in the works: him with angel and the sunflowers (during what was I made for?), and one with a different reader (teaser here 👀)

genuinely, thank you for sharing your thoughts ❤️ it's just me in my room with my laptop coming up with this stuff late at night, so it's really nice to have someone else's perspective as well (as 2am Liz doesn't always think things through).

[platoapproved]

okay okay my shadow and bone season 2 hot takes are burning me from the inside out so here we go:

these are in no particular order but sadly it did feel kind of like a miss for me with nikolai :/  i was worried it was going to be way worse but there were a few changes that were just Not It for me. like you CANNOT just bring in Dominik and have him still be alive. he should’ve been dead the whole time, because that’s nikolai’s whole thing.  he has his charming prince / dashing privateer / all around witty fun guy façade, and underneath it is grief. over a normal commoner, who died wastefully in an unimportant battle.  it MATTERS that that death matters so much to nikolai

AND it’s really not the same for him to get randomly wounded 0.02 seconds before the civil war is completely over, and then later realize some weird magic shit is going on with the wound.  like instead of being DELIBERATELY made into a monster and then spending weeks? months? however long as a mostly mindless monster, unable to help his friends or his country and lowkey maybe eating people.  like that’s that 👏 good 👏 shit 👏 .

it also matters that he’s not visibly scarred afterwards? like literally “king of scars” hello? even if people outside his inner circle don’t know what really happened they still think the darkling tortured him for months or whatever.

anyway the point is the show needed to hurt nikolai a lot more.

kaz was perfect i love him, love how they delivered on his story, definitely the thing this season landed the best.

BUT it does somewhat irk me that pekka is still in the mix after kaz’s takedown.  he runs away, and then just as he’s thinking about maybe coming back, inej finishes it and he’s just OUT. the last chapter of the duology is him just being like “i can’t DEAL with how vicious these teens are i’m too old for this shit i’m FINISHED”.  i just think kaz brekker would not be satisfied with him still being in hellgate having any power whatsoever.

LOVED how little mattias content there was.  cut him out entirely. five of crows.

giving the darkling a weird underling with bad bangs and 90s lipstick and spending so much time on her was a strange move considering how many other things they were trying to cover, like y’all don’t have room to be adding new OCs.

JUSTICE FOR DUNYASHA why was inej fighting some random taxidermy man instead.  her appearance in crooked kingdom always DELIGHTS me because she just shows up out of nowhere declaring herself to be inej’s great rival and being psychosexually obsessed with her and inej is just ?????? because she has no idea who this fucking person is. changing her to some random dude is a homophobic attack on me personally.

i am glad they gave jesper some serious moments this season finally, but also a little sad with how much they rushed the grisha stuff for him. i think it’s probably an inevitable book-to-movie thing but they didn’t do enough with how much hiding his powers was fundamental to who he is. it’s like, the root of his frankly suicidal recklessness and addiction and shame.  his feelings about his powers are tied to his mother and her death but also to his father and how he taught Jesper to lie about himself and also made him feel ashamed/guilty to have powers.  AND most importantly it’s not just parent stuff, it’s a response to the world around him where grisha are hunted and persecuted and kidnapped and enslaved and conscripted and experimented on.  it’s not just that he’s sad about his mom.  it’s one of the many responses we see in the books from grishas towards a world that is so hostile to them.  you can’t just make it about the personal circumstances.  the social and political ones have an impact too.

i do get why they never get into it but man. i also missed jesper’s pathetic fucked up crush on kaz.  just another moment where the show provided the outer show (jesper being charming and having plenty of little flings and encounters) but not the knife-twist beneath it (him pining for kaz all those years and both of them kind of knowing it but never saying anything about it, and kaz just absolutely 100% not into him like that but not NOT stringing him along with little bits of kindness, unintentionally or intentionally).  like one of the things that is great about wylan and jesper is that it’s jesper deciding finally that he deserves more than waiting for little scraps of nothing from kaz and just going on a date with a nice boy, y’know?

i wish nina and inej had more friendship moments :c they haven’t known each other as long in the show. :c they’re supposed to be besties. :c i need them to be in love. :c

okay that’s all the hottest of my hot takes i think, overall i had a lot of fun with it and the main takeaway was that the kaz stuff was /chefkiss

[captain-of-silvenar]

Hi! I was looking at your pinned post and Brisala caught my eye because of "fungal necromancy" - so my question is, what is that, it sounds so cool! I'd love to hear more about that!

Oh, Brisala is pretty neato, thank you for the ask!

So Fungal Necromancy, what is that? First I have to explain that my idea of necromancy is basically manipulation of life energy, yeah? So not really dissimilar to regular healing magic. But necromancy has the benefit of kind of encompassing anything with life energy. And that includes plants and fungi!

As a Telvanni Wizard, Brisala is a proud citizen of Morrowind and all the natural wonders it encompasses. A majority of it is covered in gigantic mushrooms and assorted fungi, to say the least of the Telvanni Tower grew by herself. If you're not including the potentially magical landscape by virtue of the place, all the fungal mycelium alone has a huge storage of energy! Fungi in general have huge networks that spread over whole continents sometimes and they interact and transfer energy from dead matter into other living organisms it lives with. Using this as a foundation, if one were to tap into it they could draw life energy from the very land into yourself. You would need to have an immense storage of magicka in your body then, so long as you knew how to harness and use the very land to fuel yourself.

This is the magical theory Brisala has worked on since childhood. House Telvanni already pride themselves on a lot of mushroom motifs and practical uses in their every day life. Surely it has to extend to more than just a home, armor, food, and pretty decoration. Imagine what one could accomplish if you could drain a continent the size of Morrowind by tapping into a vein of mycelium? Not that Brisala would do that, it is simply too big of an idea to test for a single Master Telvanni.

But a single Telvanni Tower? Now we're talking. Brisala grows unique and strange fungi in her studies to research different properties and uses in alchemy and magicka. If magic can be tapped from them, what else could be gleaned from them? Testing has shown that mycelium networks can communicate with each other and organisms they are attached to. Brisala has successfully added herself into that equation after years of experimentation and can now use fungi as extensions of herself.

So imagine you are trying to infiltrate or sneak into a Telvanni Tower. You're as quiet as you can be, but everywhere you go you can't help but feel as if you're being watched. And if you so happen to be in the Alithar family Tower, you most certainly are being watched by Brisala and are about 0.02 seconds from being consumed by the fungal floor.

Brisala has such an aptitude for fungal manipulation, she can freely change the interior of her Tower to move stairs, walls, and even whole rooms. Whatever extra magicka she has building up in her body she could deposit it into her Tower as a backup resource. Within the confines of her own home, Brisala is a terrifying being to behold in the seat of her power.

There is always more to learn from our fungal neighbors. Brisala is dedicated in exploring every possibility fungi have in everyday and extraordinary situations. As far as she knows there are very few actual fungomancers, much less those that dabble in necromancy.

And she intends to keep it that way, her research is precious and secret. Wouldn't want some upstart Spellwright getting any funny ideas to try and rise up the ranks through her notes.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Bpp, i’m getting slightly worried that a lot of people are getting jimin’s pre release track confused with twice’s new song with the same name, which is annoying because i know it’s me irrational lol. And some too had the audacity to insinuate that jimin added the pt2 to his because he was worried about charting lower than twice bec people get the two confused which HAHAHAHAHAHA i’m sorry i’m trying not to be mean but that’s literally funny and not possible at all. But i think people being confused with the two is a real thing that can happen…

**

Hi Anon,

Y’all need to get out of wherever you’re spending time online… because, huh?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve joked with some Once friends recently over the similar titles, but none of us made any of the leaps in your ask because, I don’t know, we’re normal?

Even if all those people mentioned was true, so what?

So Twice gets a couple more streams before that person realizes they’re hearing 9 female voices instead of 1 female voice - scratch that, one male voice dipped in honey and plated with metal. Or maybe it’s the music video that trips them up...

I don’t mean to be rude Anon, but you’re right you’re being irrational. But it’s okay. It’s Jimin. I can understand if those who love him are very excited, a bit nervous and somewhat worried enough to imagine all the ways things could go wrong for his very first official solo music project. There are high expectations and we only want the very best for him.

And that’s what will happen. Because the music he makes will be that good.

Just make sure you’re prepared to do your best to support him. Ignore the noise and focus on what is within your power to control.

My $0.02

[cyanocoraxx]

isopraxis (ao3 link)

(aka silver sonic II & mecha sonic are neurodivergent and minors)

"morning, mecha. uh, i think there's something wrong with me."

mecha turned their head to look at silver - taking their words as a cue to scan him - and sat back in their chair, a gesture learned from their organic companions. as they did, the blanket over their ears (to block out noise, although they could easily just tune down their auditory sensors) fell to the ground in a heap beside them.

“please elaborate.” mecha responded flatly.

“something’s wrong with my head. i don’t know how to explain it.” silver tried again, sounding more urgent - frustrated, even - this time.

mecha scanned over silver’s frame one more time. the exact same results pinged back, with the differences only ranging from 0.01% to 0.02%. nothing abnormal. "please elaborate. i do not understand. your system status is fully functional. your CPU is clocking at 59% usage and your memory is running at 83% capacity. these are typical readings for you. have you run a diagnostic? perhaps it is an issue that i cannot pinpoint externally."

silver shook his head and pulled up a chair to join his sibling. "no no, it's not that, M. well, it kind of is - i don't know. the diagnostics don’t tell me shit." within seconds of taking his seat, silver's left leg was already bouncing up and down with nervous energy. he fidgeted with his hands. he had been doing that a lot lately, mecha had noticed.

"you can cease those behaviors at any time. why do you not?" mecha queried, shifting forward a little to show their interest. another cue picked up from the organics around them that they otherwise would have never learned.

"that's the thing! it feels like i can't. if i don't, i feel like i'm gonna go crazy." silver explained hurriedly. he added slight rocking to the mix as well. "it seems to help, but... why? i hate saying it but... i’m a robot. what does a robot get out of this?”

mecha took pause, tilting her head in thought. "in the nonverbal dictionary by david givens, a rocking action such as the one you currently display stimulates the vestibular senses and is therefore soothing. it is primitive but effective. you possess a vestibular system that keeps you oriented in combat, thus you benefit from it despite lacking an organic frame."

silver nodded slowly. "uh huh. so...it makes me feel something, and that's why it helps me." he too took pause for a second. "but... when i feel like this, i can't work. i can't do anything. i can't play my favourite games or watch my favourite shows because i just, like, zone out. i can't pick up a single word in a book. i interrupt everyone else when they talk and it annoys them. it makes me feel useless, M. everyone else is working so hard to keep this place nice for us all and i'm just... sitting here, being crazy. i feel crazy."

to silver, his CPU felt like a machine constantly making white noise. it was as if someone had placed static in his mind and let it sit there for hours. he wanted to make the noise stop. then he could be useful again. he hated to let his family down like this over and over. it felt wrong. he felt wrong. like something was wrong with his programming, or processing unit, or something. it drove him mad not knowing what to do with it.

mecha considered this thoughtfully. "i too display some of the behaviors you are currently showing. does that make me useless, brother?"

"no, of course not! you're smart, you always know what to do- wait, you do? i mean, i've seen you do it, but i don't know how much you do it when you're alone." silver replied curiously, tilting his head ever so slightly in interest.

mecha nodded. "i gain very little from stimulating my own version of tactile receptors, if you will, for i have none. i cannot feel pressure, heat, cold, or pain. however, i am able to detect vibration, like many predatory species can. i depend on this ability to re-centre myself in combat as well as to navigate my newfound emotional catalogue. do not forget, all beings unconsciously touch their own frames in times of heightened emotion in order to comfort, relieve, or release stress. it is a natural response, but primarily an organic one. i suppose this gives both of us some organic qualities, psychologically."

"huh..." silver moved to sit on the floor, finding it more comfortable - and feeling much less like he had to mask his behaviours in front of his older brother. "is that why i see you pacing sometimes? or why i see neo tapping his fingers on his arms when he's annoyed?"

"precisely." mecha replied, a small glow coming to their visor in affirmation. "due to the nature of our programming, each of us reflects the nature of our organic counterpart in some way. this does not make us useless. it makes us flawed, and flaws make us more alive - if you wish to deem it as such."

"is there a name for this, then?" silver asked, curious. he gestured to his entire frame, and then his brother's in turn. "you know. this... whatever it is. or do we name it ourselves? i think the-blue-hedgehog-itis sounds quaint."

"your current status could be framed as something called executive dysfunction. there is no outer stimulus that is stopping you from making progress in what you wish to do. the stimulus is internal. think of it as a blockade caused by your psychological state. it is passive. you cannot consciously decide to execute that function - hence, why it is named executive dysfunction." mecha replied matter-of-factly. "it can be likened to a form of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, if you wish to name it."

"robot adhd." silver fidgeted with his fingers as he mulled on that label. "i mean, it works...”

mecha nodded in agreement. "indeed. likewise, by organic standards, i display neurodivergent behaviours of my own. for example, i am merely adopting this position in speaking to you because i have learned that it is socially appropriate. the degree of orientation between a speaker and the listener is measured in the coronal plane. we show agreement by aligning our upper bodies with the second party. in a group setting, most people will stand with their bodies oriented towards the individual they most respect. if i did not know this, and did not know that it matters to you, i would not display this behaviour voluntarily. i would be more comfortable standing away from the other person to avoid visual contact. i find close proximity... overwhelming. i only truly accept close proximity to two other units - yourself and neo. otherwise, i am merely mirroring what i have observed in others to adhere to social norms."

"you're not a people person, is what you're saying," silver replied with a small smile, "and we all know that. but we all know you try, and that's what matters."

"i suppose it can be taken as such. however, i do not mean disrespect or harm by my mannerisms. they are simply behaviours that are ingrained into my processor specifically." mecha noted, moving to sit in front of his brother on the floor - and silver noticed the slight tremor in his brother's hand as he moved it to lever himself out of his seat. "with sentience comes room for flaws. look around you, silver. the other machines in our home likely display their own variations of neurodivergent behaviour. we are not made to emulate the perfect mind. we were created to fulfill a task, which was to end a life. we are bound to experience mis-wirings, glitches, and divergences along the way as we fail to fulfill that task. we are adapting to a world that we were not designed to exist in."

"right... but, uh, what do i do then?" silver asked, frowning a little in thought. "am i supposed to want it to go away? why me, anyway? is my wiring just fucked up or something?”

"take it as it comes." mecha advised, reaching over to place a shaky hand on her brother's shoulder. "you are flawed, as am i. it is not the end of the world. and, much akin to how the world is ever-changing, your psychological state changes along with it. this conversation, however, has renewed my interest in your condition. i shall endeavour to research how you can best adapt to it."

"adapt? and not overcome?" silver asked, sounding worried. his optics fixed on mecha's gaze as if to look for any sign that she was joking.

"affirmative. adapt." mecha repeated themselves. "this is not something that you should attempt to destroy. rather, it is a state of being that you will carry with you - and to destroy your own state of being is violence against yourself." in line with its words, mecha leaned forward and pressed its forehead to silver's affectionately. "you are performing optimally despite this. do not doubt yourself."

silver's smile returned instantly. noticing this, mecha's visor brightened to a warm glow, smiling back at him. one of the few things that made mecha "happy" was seeing their brother happy. they wanted silver to be happy all the time, if the world would allow it. with a small, subtle purr of their engine, mecha gathered silver into their arms and let him sprawl in their lap. silver reached up and playfully batted mecha's nose with a little laugh.

"you're a weirdo, M." silver told his brother with a grin.

"as are you." mecha agreed, replying with a scrub of their brother's head with their knuckles. oops, that left a few superficial scratches in his paint. no matter, he would repair those later. but rather than worry about that, mecha leaned back against the wall and let their brother act as a sort of weird little weighted blanket. no, they couldn't feel the pressure, but the subtle vibration of silver's own engine was enough to keep them sated. "are your concerns adequately addressed?"

"yeah. thank you, you're the best."

[depressedstressedblessedmess]

Writing Commissions!

I have Decided to start doing Writing Commissions! I love writing all types of things from Song Lyrics to Stories, Bringing Ideas to life. I've been writing for a long time, and hopefully if you see this, you would be willing to give me a chance!

What I do:

-Poems

-Song Lyrics

-Original Short stories

-Character backstories

-Fanfictions (Fandoms Below)

-Just about anything else you can name!

My Known Fandoms:

-MHA

-MCU

-DCU

-Black Clover

-OPM

-One Peice

-Naruto franchise

-Dragonball franchise

-Deathnote

-Love is war

-Saiki K

-Harry Potter

-Percy Jackson

-Mario

-Sonic

(If there is a fandom you want A fandom of you don't see here, I'm perfectly fine doing my best anyway, but will ask for more time that way I can research into the Fandom to make you the Absolute best story I can!!)

Price range:

-Poems: 0.02$ a word

- Song Lyrics: 0.03$ a word (0.01$ a word for Chorus because come on)

-Short Stories: 10$ for a 500-750 word story, 15$ for n 750-1000 word story, an additional 0.03$ per word for 1000+ word stories

-Fanfics: 5$ for a 500-750 word story, 10$ for a 750-1000$ word story, and Additional 0.02$ per word for 1000+ word stories

-Backstories: 5$ for a backstory under 1000 words, 10$ for a backstory 1000-2000 words, for 2000+ words (If you have a backstory that ridiculously long lmao) 0.05$ per word for each extra word.

I will require payment before Story, however, with purchases that are 1000+ words I will Provide a preview of what I'm writing before Requiring payment.

Samples of my work: Writing Samples - Google Docs

(As an Example of Price range, a song of similar length as light will run you 8-9$)

Dm me to discuss Method of payment (Prolly Cashapp or Paypal)

Also, if you're here because I added some of the more random tags, Hi nice to meet you lmao I thought it was funny at the time.

[f1]

Most special race of my career Hamilton calls Brazil 2021 his best race ever as he celebrates 10 years at Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton has called his 2021 Sao Paulo Grand Prix victory “the most special race of my career”, as he reflected on some of the most memorable moments from his 10 years racing for Mercedes. At the time, Hamilton had been embroiled in a tense world championship battle with Red Bull’s Max Verstappen, and was trailing the Dutch driver by 19 points with just four races, and the Sprint in Brazil, left to go in the season. READ MORE: Hamilton labels Bottas a ‘great team mate’ as he reflects on 10 years at Mercedes However, after qualifying on pole for the Sprint, Hamilton was disqualified for a DRS infringement and dropped to the back of the grid – with an additional five-place grid drop for the race after Mercedes fitted a new engine on to his car. The Briton then went from last to fifth in the Sprint, before going from 10th to first place in the race, overtaking Verstappen in the closing stages of the Grand Prix to take a much needed victory. “I think for sure my best race ever and probably the most special race of my career," said Hamilton, reflecting on that weekend at Interlagos. "I was so proud to hold this flag on the podium. Growing up I’d always loved Ayrton Senna; I’d watch him when he is carrying a flag. Hamilton and Verstappen were in the middle of a tight title battle “Anyways, I’d qualified on pole, and then I got disqualified for a wing that was 0.02 millimetres out or something crazy like that. I remember in that moment for me, my heart just sunk. "Because I knew that I had to win every race, and I remember in that moment I thought it was over, I can’t win this world championship. READ MORE: Russell teases ‘big changes’ to the W14 after trying developments in the Mercedes simulator “And just with all the work we had done through the year, I just felt so deflated and so powerless. And somehow, it’s been something that I’ve been able to do my whole career, somehow, I was able to move on. “You know what we are going to get there, there is nothing you can do about the past, you move forwards, you can do this. I just stayed in the evening, and just put it aside. I did all the studying, I came back the next day, and I drove from last to first. Hamilton made his way through the field during the Sprint and race in Brazil “And I saw one of the marshals holding the flag, and I stopped and grabbed it. That was just one of the most special moments, when I held the flag up on the podium.” ANALYSIS: Mercedes technical reshuffle part of a wider course correction He added: “It was really just a signal to everyone within Brazil that I acknowledge you, I appreciate you, I appreciate Ayrton and love Ayrton. I always have since I was a kid. I was hoping that I would lift up the nation in some way even though I wasn’t from Brazil, except now I am Brazilian.” Hamilton will now turn his attentions to another Sprint this weekend in Baku, with the Briton currently fourth in the drivers’ championship on 38 points – 31 points behind leader Verstappen. via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com

[frogmutual]

Since you wanna block ppl trying to correct your misinformation promoting two pro-israel products in the midst of a literal genocide, gonna reblog with what @soupblr had said:

neither of these will help your teeth any more than any other product with fluoride will, but it will cost you a premium for no reason.

additionally both of these brands are boycott if you are trying to prevent giving money to companies who support israel. crest is owned by procter & gamble, sensodyne is owned by haleon. both do business with and give money to israel.

according to their website, the only active ingredient in the mouthwash is "Sodium Fluoride 0.02% (0.01% W/V Fluoride Ion)". this is not unique to this specific mouthwash. it's the same fluoride that is in everything else.

according to their website also, the active ingredients in the toothpaste are just Potassium Nitrate 5% w/w, and Sodium Fluoride 0.254% w/w (Fluoride 0.115% w/w). these are the same ingredients that are found in virtually every sensitivity toothpaste.

these products will not help your teeth and gums more than different, less expensive ones will just because a random person on tumblr told you to buy them, but they will cost you a premium for no reason.

if you want to work on repairing and improving your dental health, my suggestion is to strive for consistency in whatever way works best for you, first. then, adding extra products might be a worthy investment.

i don't want to tell people to "use this, not that" or make any suggestions, but for anyone who got their hopes up by the original post:

look intoXylitol. xylitol can be found in mouthwashes and toothpaste, but also gum and mints, things you can use between brushing to add a layer of anti-cavity and gum health protection.

if you have the money for it, Dental Casein might be a worthy investment for those looking to repair enamel.

other than that, making sure that you are getting enough vitamins & nutrition is probably the most important thing beside brushing. specifically making sure that you are getting Calcium, vitamin D, vitamin K2(specifically MK-7), and Magnesium. All of these things work together to get calcium into your bones (including your teeth), which is explained in more detail in the last link.

all sources to my claims linked because, unlike op, i'm not a fucking shill

Okay listen I have another disability related thing that’s important!!

If you have any disabilities linked to tooth decay/erosion, through direct cause or secondary symptom, it is vital that you get one or both of the following items: Sensodyne toothpaste and enamel repair mouthwash

This includes health conditions such as acid reflux, diabetes, thyroid conditions, fibromyalgia, chronic pain & mental illnesses such as depression that create poor hygiene routines, sensory issue disorders like autism and ADHD, and any health condition that causes frequent vomiting / increased stomach acid, including eating disorders and migraines.

All of these disabilities will erode the enamel of your teeth, not only opening you up to cavities but making it very easy to chip your teeth from such simple things as biting the wrong way on the tines of a fork. (I’ve chipped my teeth at least 4 times this way).

The toothpaste on the left here (sensodyne pronamel) is gentle on your teeth, won’t cause painful sensations from any extreme mint flavor, and will even protect your gums if they’re sensitive from any of these conditions.

The mouthwash on the right (Crest enamel repair) will, as it says, repair your enamel — which is marvelous, because the technology to repair your enamel at all is relatively very new to society! — but it is most importantly non-alcoholic. Meaning that it works well as a once-a-day rinse without any of the burning sensations of antiseptics that typically discourage people with sensory issues from taking care of their teeth.

I know remembering to do these things every day can feel like a lot when you’re sick and exhausted, but I promise a collective three minutes out of every day is going to save you an incredible amount of pain and money in the future. If your teeth are susceptible enough to rot, you can actually die from infection. And as they say, with how little insurance actually covers dental —

Not brushing your teeth??

In THIS economy???

[source-timeslip]

Rumble in controllers

Ever since the conception of force feedback back when the N64's rumble pack came out, it has been crucial in the immersion of console video games. A lot of people don't realise the impact well placed feedback can make. For example, the use of vibrations in the metal gear psycho mantis boss fight where the force feedback was used to move the players controller.

This full immersed the player in the boss fight and made them feel included with psycho Mantis' powers. This game is decades old and nothing like this has been explored quite as well in modern games.

These vibrations can also be used to add a level of satisfaction to menial tasks in most video games, such as fishing in Stardew valley or after shooting a gun in an fps game.

As part of the alternative control topic, I need to learn how to use input mapping to get force feedback from controllers. as of unreal 5.1, the inputs are all handled in data assets rather than in the inputs in project settings, this allows for more customisation with the inputs and is generally more efficient.

I created a new input action and changed the settings around to something I was comfortable with. You can change what sort of input you want like a hold or tap and then how long you want the player too hold before the input occurs. I went for the hold input with a 1 second hold time.

To get any of these inputs to work you have to add them to input map to be able to use the enhanced input node in my player controller. To do this you can open the IMC_Default and add the rumble as a mapping. You should also change the trigger settings to what they are in the input actions because I didn't and it wouldn't work properly. I wanted to use a controller and keyboard so I added inputs for both.

Now it should be recognised as an input, I can put a print string off of the IA_Rumble input in my player character to make sure it works, which it does. The rumble itself is created through a force feedback blueprint.

To edit the rumble, unreal gives you a graph to put keyframes on, the keyframes mark the points you want to give the player force feedback and how strong you want it to be. For example mine has a rumble with a strength of .02 at .2 seconds.

I had this a lot higher but it becomes very difficult to differentiate between the stronger and weaker vibrations. Now I can add the node client play force feedback and use my PulseFF blueprint as the effect.

When I play the game and hold A or space for 1 second, my controller will vibrate going between 0 and 0.02. I also left loop on so the vibration doesn't end.

As for practical uses in my game, I thought it could be cool to have some feedback when sprinting or walking so I added a play force feedback and stop force feedback after my sprint inputs.

I did find that there wasn't a value I could find and I could see how it could irritate players.

Something I can do with the rumble is give it to an actor with an attenuation radius meaning the closer you get to the actor the more your controller vibrates. I think this would be a perfect tell that you are being hunted by the monster. Not to mention, vibrations from the controller when you don't know where they're coming from instils fear pretty fast so I'm going to explore this further. So far I've created a new actor that just has a force feedback component.

I set the effect to the PulseFF again, and I made a force feedback attenuation blueprint and decreased the falloff, also adding it to the force feedback component.

This works extremely well. It feels infinitely more significant than just having it when you sprint. I'm going to give my monster AI a force feedback component with these settings to give the player and indication they're being hunted.

Something else important to mention about force feedback with my controller in particular is that the N64 used rumble packs to emulate vibration. I don't know how possible it would be to take advantage of the rumble packs so I might have to opt for a USB controller instead of the original.

[tartagliaxx]

。THE FIVE WISHES YOU FULFILLED FOR ME BEFORE I DIED

ㅤㅤ╰ a bittersweet tale to end the year; a sacrificial ode for a kinder tomorrow ...

SUMMARY !

on a seemingly innocent winter day, you were told some life-changing news: you were going to die within the next seven days. rather than spending it curled up in sad disbelief, you decided that you would be living your remaining days to the fullest with utter disregard for your upcoming demise and the people you held closest to your heart were all too willing to stay with you until the very end of your line.

MASTERLIST !

# 0.00 - The End.

# 0.01 - The First Wish | The Alchemist

# 0.02 - The Second Wish | The Wandering Samurai

# 0.03 - The Third Wish | The Vigilant Yaksha

# 0.04 - The Fourth Wish | The Eleventh Harbinger

# 0.05 - The Fifth Wish | The Oni of Incomparable Strength

# EPILOGUE - They lived.

NOTES !

join the series taglist by sending an ask

to be updated every day until january four ; gmt+8

THE DIRECTOR'S GREETINGS !

my warmest wishes once again! if you had been following my blog, you might have seen me post something about hallmark-inspired short stories but as i was writing kazuha's part, i realized how horrible it was and i couldn't finish it at all. it's been very hard for me to write non-bittersweet things recently and in a 12am staring-at-the-ceiling episode, i had this idea come to mind. seeing as i missed the main day of the celebration already, i figured that i would just adjust the event for the new year instead. hence, this series! i included the same characters that won in the vote and added childe who was in fourth place and itto who would now be joining the people i would be writing for after his chapter is published. i hope you would enjoy and look forward to it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

the reality is, we'll be encountering tough situations the next year. the good fortune we hope for right now wouldn't always be with us but that doesn't mean that next year would be completely horrendous either. with the people we have by our sides, life is so much easier to get through with especially when we encounter times where we must deal with the unexpected and the inevitable. this is exactly the thing i wanted to emphasize in this series and i want to thank all of you for being here with me right now. as we celebrate the start of a new countdown, my only wish is for us to share many more days together, just enjoying the simple pleasures that this world has to offer. happy new year to all of you and i wish you great prosperity and happiness in all of your future endeavors!

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

And now I’ve watched episode 3 of Walker because of reasons. (You guys asked, that’s reasons.) #2

If you guys haven’t seen part 1, go see it immediately. Because of reasons. This time, reasons is Slutty Glitter Cowboy Stripper. No, it’s not a joke.

Yeah, I’m not sure what’s happening either.

I can’t believe they’re airing cowboy strippers in Supernatural’s air slot and Dean Winchester isn’t there. I think this is why they had to kill Dean, because otherwise he would have ripped through the CW’s show layout and appeared in Walker sponteneously, instantly adopting Walker’s entire family and friends as his own and single-handedly implementing the depolicement of the state of Texas, with Castiel rolling his eyes at him in the background while he murders ICE agents at the US-Mexican border.

*slides the CW a twenty euro bill* so I have an idea for season 2 of Walker

Anyway, there’s this lady Walker and Ramirez are doing a stakeout on, a woman called Torreto who is presumably part of some criminal organization since they’re doing a stakeout on her, and who’s bisexual given she was being entertained by a lady and a guy at a strip club. Which is like, fine, not problematic at all, alright.

So the stripper straddles her and is like ~wanna come with me in the back, and she’s like ~maybe another time, and he’s like ~torreto i saw cops outside you probably wanna come to the back with me, and she’s like ~mmm yeah that sounds like a good idea. We were rooting for you, slutty glitter cowboy stripper! We were all rooting for you! Or not.

Meanwhile, Walker has horrible car manners.

Also, he asks her how her parents were to her growing up, which is a question you normally ask to people you’re not close to when you want to do some small talk. For some reason she brings up a friend she had some ~crazy teen years~ with, called Garrison, which doesn’t make me think of angels in Supernatural, no, I am a normal person.

But then people start coming out of the strip club, but not Torreto. So they go in.

Torreto is not there, so Walker just stops the first person he sees and he’s literally like ~excuse me, do you know if there’s someone in the back. The visual is hilarious

“Excuse me, sir, have you seen my brother from another show, I suspect he might be here”

Give me a spinoff about this strip club.

Anyway, the guys answers, “No, why, you two interested?” to which they immediately answer “no!” at the same time, and share a look which makes me think we’re supposed to be like ~~ooh, talking in unison moment! or something...?

Meanwhile their truck gets stolen, and Walker yells that his bobblehead is in there. Cue disgruntled Jared face.

Oh man. We are at the title card. It’s less than 6 minutes. This will never end.

It was night, now it’s day, and Stella and August are walking around Austin. He’s mimicking David Attenborough, describing the teenagers around them as though he was doing a documentary about animals.

Two girls approach them, bringing up a party that’s taking place tomorrow. She says it’s not the best idea with her court date approaching. The girls are like, your dad can figure something out, he’s an elite ranger or something and also owes you for disappearing for a year. She’s like, he’s being kind of cool, I don’t want to ruin this, and the girls “call BS” because this is like “the best party of the year”.

Ruby, the girl August has been hanging out with, appears and August goes from “nah the party is not my thing” to “I’ll totally be there” in like 0.02 seconds.

I cannot overstate how much I am not interested in high schooler drama.

Meanwhile, at the Walker Seniors’ place, Walker’s parents are preparing the table for a family dinner. From their banter we can infer someone’s who ~is like family although he isn’t “blood”~ is coming for dinner and Grandpa Walker doesn’t like him at all and actually expects the guy to steal their china and bourbon. “It’s been years, could you please give him a chance?” Grandma Walker says, and he accepts, although she grabs the fancy bourbon from behind his back.

Meanwhile, at the police station, all the cops are having a briefing about Torreto, the woman at the strip club. She apparently steals weapons all over Texas and sells them over the border at triple the cost. Remember that Torreto escaped from Walker and Ramirez because she stole their truck while they were inside the strip club. Ramirez is worried she’ll already become the laughingstock of the precinct.

Uh. James plays security camera footage from outside the strip club. Walker and Ramirez’ truck was stolen by Torreto and the cowboy stripper himself.

Obviously the other cops laugh when Ramirez admits it was her truck.

James tells them to find Torreto, find the truck, and find out who the naked cowboy is.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Then Walker drives home, and as soon as he gets out of his car, you know how in the Supernatural pilot Dean gets into Sam’s apartment and wrestles him before revealing it’s him to ~test if his fighting skills are rusty and laughs when Sam realizes it’s him? Alright, now think intensely and guess how Walker’s like-a-brother best friend is introduced. Think intensely! It’s really difficult to guess!

Something something about violence and male intimacy except this is too ridiculous to, you know, write something serious about it.

“Oh, man!” the guy laughs, lying on the ground where Walker threw him. “The look on your face!”

“You son of a-”

“Oh, c’mon man, don’t talk bad of a mother I never knew.”

I’m facepalming soooo hard. This is the first thing we learn about him (well, after the fact that he definitely stole something from the Walkers’ house in the past), that he never knew his mother!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GUYS

I AM SO SORRY

I am faceblind I didn’t realize

THE GUY IS THE STRIPPER

I REPEAT

THE “DEAN BUT IN JARED PADALECKI’S MIND” CHARACTER IS THE SLUTTY GLITTER COWBOY STRIPPER

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I SWEAR MY HANDS ARE COLD AND CLAMMY

I AM EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS NO WORDS EXIST IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO DESCRIBE

Oh my god guys. I am so sorry.

“You did your touchdown victory dance before you stole my partner’s truck!” Walker exclaims. “I should arrest you right here and right now!”

The guy acts like he has no idea what Walker is talking about, and says he’s in town to see his best pal.

Walker keeps accusing him, but then his mother appears, super thrilled to see him, and Walker lets is go.

They’re at dinner (NotDean brought wagyu steaks, which obviously means he does crime for a living) and Walker’s mother tells him to say grace, which he does in a semi-serious, semi-mocking way. Obviously NotDean does not believe in god, but he’s grateful for the people around him.

Stella calls him uncle, in case you missed that this is supposed to be a friend whom Walker loves likeabrother.

He talks about jobs he did here and there, and Walker and his brother tease him asking if he’s been to some prisons around the country. Stella doesn’t get the joke and NotDean explains it to her, adding, “now, from what I hear, I’m not the only outlaw in this family”. Grandpa Walker leaves the room.

NotDean asks Stella if she’s going to the bonfire (the party they were talking about earlier) and tells her that her mother started the thing when they were young. She didn’t know that. This is supposed to be a Meaningful moment.

Meanwhile the stolen truck is found... at Walker’s ranch. Gasp! What a shocking turn of events.

NotDean gives Stella advice on how to act in court to get on the judge’s good graces, “which means acting”. “Please don’t get legal advice from a criminal” walker’s brother Liam says. Is the gay brother also a NotDean of sorts, to be fair? Well, CriminalNotDean tells her to dress her best and cry. ActualbrotherNotDean tells her to use the correct legal arguments. Walker just stops them, quoting something Ramirez said earlier in the episode, “nobody benefits from the easy route”. Stella is like, what does that mean, which, mood, but Grandma Walker interrupts bringing in a plate of different hot chilis. Apparently they have a tradition of a competition. Which we don’t even see. Boo.

Ramirez finds the truck... right outside the Walkers’ house. Grandpa Walker, who’d gone outside, points a rifle to her and she explains what she’s doing there. They introduce themselves and she is like, sir why is the man who stole my truck inside your house? “Wife invited him to dinner.”

She’s like, I need to arrest him. But he’s like, I bet there’s not enough evidence to arrest him, or my son would have done it. Join me for steak and burbon in the bunkhouse! As one does. So they have wagyu and bourbon together, and she asks him what’s the guy’s story.

So NotDean and Walker grew up together, NotDean had a rough life, “my wife has a soft spot for strays, she can’t give up on him”. But Grandpa Walker doesn’t feel the same. He tells her that she cannot arrest him tonight, but it’s only a matter of time before the guy gives her enough rope. He adds that Walker has a blind spot for faces from the past, and needs someone to fix that.

Meanwhile dinner’s over and NotDean calls a uber. He and Walker arrange to meet the next day and hang out like old times. Eventually, Walker tells him that if he is involved in this case, he will have to take him down. “Theoretically, if you catch me.” They do a manly hug with manly pats, and the guy leaves. “Theoretically, go to hell,” Walker says after he’s left.

The next day, NotDean brings Walker to a storage in the middle of nowhere... full of cursed objects, no wait, wrong show. What’s inside the storage is the red Mustang. Walker is shocked that he hasn’t lost it in some bet - which apparently is how he got the car from Walker in the first place. Now NotDean says that, after everything Walker’s been through, he deserves a chance to win it back.

Glowy flashback of Walker and his wife in the car, right after the scene in the beginning of the episode. They bet it during poker night, decision of Emily, because Walker is “starting to get attached to her”. Emily teases him for calling the car a she, and Walker decides to call the car Stella.

They gave their daughter the name of a car they lost at poker.

Oh. She tells him she’s pregnant.

So, apparently, they had their first daughter when they were broke, to the point they had to try and get money at poker for a bigger place and baby things. That’s... kind of irresponsible.

Meamwhile, Ramirez goes to James to tell him about the thing, but James already figured NotDean was involved, because apparently stealing things and returning them is just something he does. “Why are you so calm about this?” she asks. He says because they cannot pin anything on him. Questioning him could scare the big crime lady. So he tells her to just keep an eye on him. “Walker, Torreto or Hoyt [NotDean]” she asks. “Yes” he answers.

Blah blah. I apologize, I’m being too detailed. I’m just bored by this. Ah, a butcher’s truck was stolen right after the strip club thing, guess where NotDean got the wagyu steaks.

Walker and NotDean go to the bar with the bartender who’s their friend, and NotDean flirts with her. They start playing poker, when Ramirez arrives, and has some banter with NotDean and spills some glitter on him that she found in the truck. He buys her a drink and she arrests him for trying to bribe a police officer. Walker is shocked.

At the precinct, he says they cannot prove he’s working with big crime lady. But she brings up he stole the wagyu steaks.

She calls him out for trying to be everyone’s friend even if they do something wrong, also with Stella.

She says she can hold NotDean for 24 hours, long enough to figure out the big crime lady’s plans. Common trope in cop shows. Arrest someone without proof, you have to release them after 24 hours, but the cop finds proof and bam, forgiven for arresting someone without proof.

I know you’re bored, I’m bored too.

Actually, nope, it goes differently and kind of worse. In the interrogation room, Ramirez offers NotDean a deal: he tells her where the big crime lady’s weapon deal is happening, and walks free. He points the location on a map and he compliments her. Walker is watching from the cameras and is shook.

Meanwhile the bonfire is happening, and Stella is there with her girl friends. So is August, breakdancing to impress girls. We don’t care.

Meanwhile, a lot of cops in serious cop gear surround the location NotDean pointed at. Nobody’s there, though.

What is there, is the red Mustang with the creepy bobblehead in it and a letter from NotDean that says he gives him the car back because it was always his wife’s.

Walker figures out where the deal is actually happening - the storage where the red Mustang was before.

Meanwhile, at the bonfire, August is drunk on booze he stole from Grandpa Walker and brought to the party. He asks Stella if she’s trying to drive their father away, breaking the law and all, he asks if she wants him to leave again. Then he throws up. She calls Walker but he obviously doesn’t answer. So she calls her uncle, who’s doing shopping with his partner or something. They’re buying cake? Doing cake testing for their wedding? Maybe.

Meanwhile, NotDean calls Grandma Walker to tell her he cannot go mushroom hunting with her tomorrow but needs to leave town, and he’s sorry to let her down again. She tells him that just because his family’s bad, doesn’t mean he is too. “You saved my boy, and I’ll never forget that” she says. Oooh, that’s so intriguing!, nobody says. They share a cute moment and then he hangs up, while the weapon deal goes down around him.

Uncle Liam and his partner pick up the kids, and Stella asks him if he’ll be in court with her tomorrow. He says he can’t, because it’s her father’s decision to make.

August turns up music and they all sing in the car. It’s funny how everyone’s got better chemistry with everyone else except with Walker. I know it’s, like, on purpose for plot reasons, but still, Walker’s interactions with everyone feel so stilted compared to anyone else. And it’s not the other characters are that compelling.

The police arrives at the location of the weapon deal, and NotDean gets arrested trying to steal the truck again. Ramirez gives a speech how that’s hard but it’s the right thing to do. Walker makes a comment about tough love, implying Stella needs to get that too.

The next day, they leave for Stella’s court thing on the red Mustang. It took Walker three episodes, but now they also have a cool classic car to show off! Yay! *eyeroll*

Meanwhile, Grandma Walker and Grandpa Walker have a conversation about their failing marriage or something.

Ramirez goes to the bar to apologize to the bartender for arresting NotDean. They have a drink together and if lesbians were watching this they’d start shipping them, but no lesbians are watching this. They’re wiser than me.

Stella got like a gazillion hours of community service and her license suspended. She’s upset, but since she has her license for one more day he teaches her how to drive the Mustang.

Wait. Americans don’t learn to drive normal cars when they get their license?? They only learn to drive cars with automatic gear?? What the hell??

They drive while August runs after the car to get over his hangover or something.

Would be a cute moment if the entire thing wasn’t so cheesy and weird.

Well. We know NotDean is a recurring role so we’ll see more of him. (Well, I’m not sure I will be there to watch, because this is boring af.)

This episode used all its interest coins in the strip club scene and then became dreadfully boring. I don’t even have some witty line to close this post.

This was a rollercoaster that went my brain go through a blender in the first six minutes or so and then killed the remaining braincells through boredom.

That’s it guys. What can I say. This is the CW’s Walker. Yee.

[astorytotellyourfriends]

not the model anon but erm, if i may poke my nose and $0.02 mindwandering in with some combo universe: models luke/reggie who were fwb(with feelings) but work keeps pulling them in different directions and continents so they never get their chance. and then reggie is taken with, and taken in by, ray & caleb. luke comes back stateside for a campaign ray is working on that reggie gets called for when another model drops out. cue the angst, pining, sexual tension, and shameless flirting, all courtesy of luke, everyone on the third, and definitely caleb on the last one (look, it worked with reggie and caleb is absolutely dying to press his luck). is there room for one more in this relationship? who knows but they're willing to find out (yes, the answer is yes)

OH ANON YOU ARE MOST WELCOME TO POKE YOUR NOSE AND ADD YOUR TWO CENTS TO THIS CONVERSATION!!!!

i love everything about this. you know i love a good fwb relationship with pining!!!! godddd i can just imagine Luke and Reggie meeting either at some kind of event or maybe on a shoot or MAYBE EVEN THEY LIVED TOGETHER FOR A SHORT TIME?? (bc agencies do that, they lump a bunch of models together in tiny apartments and are like ok have fun with that) and so they got very close very fast but then maybe Luke started booking more stuff in other cities so he had to move and Reggie stayed in LA and even with texting it got harder and harder to really stay in touch :(

but ohhhhh god the thought of Reggie getting close with Ray and Caleb after he's given up on Luke coming home and THEN TO BE ADDED TO THE SAME CAMPAIGN???? anon, this is genius. i love this.

because obv Reggie hasn't told them about Luke because maybe his thing with them is still sort of new and he doesn't want to ruin it by bringing up his not-really-an-ex ex but then Ray just notices how Luke and Reggie are around each other and asks him about it which of course leads to a whole discussion later on and then Caleb just has to see this guy too because if Reggie's affected this much then he can't not be gorgeous!!

i'm obsessed. anon, thank you for this glorious combination and pls feel free to pop back in and tell me more.