#just a week ago this person was disgusted that she was in my group for a projext

[walnutcookie]

Not my fault tho

[spacelazarwolf]

a year ago, i was celebrating simchat torah when my rabbi interrupted the services to let us know there had been an attack on israel. we didn’t know how bad yet, but we prayed everything would be alright. the rest of the service went on as planned, but there was a chill in the air, like we knew something had changed. something big. but we didn’t quite understand it yet.

a year ago, i watched people i’d followed for years celebrate a gruesome massacre of over a thousand human beings before we even really knew what had happened. i watched anons pour into my inbox, demanding i condemn israel even though israel hadn’t even retaliated yet.

a year ago, i talked to my nonna on facetime for her birthday. she was in her 90s and wasn’t as present anymore, and i could barely focus because my thoughts were thousands of miles away. i promised her i’d call her the next day but my next day became scrolling past horrific photos and videos i didn’t want to see, posts celebrating the attacks, posts telling people that if they didn’t celebrate the attacks that they were bad people. she died two weeks later and the same people sharing the posts celebrating the massacre sent me messages telling me it was good my nonna was dead, or extremely crude and disgusting messages about what they wanted to do to her dead body because she was “probably a zionist.”

a year ago, i worked at a synagogue that started getting dozens of calls and emails from people, across the spectrum from neo nazis to evangelical christians to radical leftists saying the most horrific things, telling us it was our fault, that we had to do something, that it was on us. we were responsible. an anon told me i was a zionist because i had a zionist language on my blog (hebrew) and worked at a zionist institution (synagogue).

a year ago, i started losing friends one by one after many of them started to share posts justifying or celebrating the massacre or memes created by neo nazis, some of which didn’t even bother to sub out “jews” for “zionists” but they shared them anyway. i was pushed out of an activist group after months of begging them to stop using antisemitic language because i had the audacity to tell a white gentile in the group not to say racist things about a black indigenous jew behind her back, and said gentile told me he didn’t have to listen to me and that he could “claim” the holocaust too because his ancestors were from eastern europe.

a year ago, i watched in real time as the world i thought i knew, the world in which jews had a future and safety in the united states, crumbled day after day. people that previously went out of their way to take care of me and support me decided that because i didn’t feel comfortable marching alongside pictures of hitler i must be a zionist and therefore no longer belonged. the person processing my government aid didn’t want to approve me because i worked for a synagogue part time and argued that the synagogue should just pay me more because “they can afford it.” my synagogue, which has been involved in social justice since its founding several decades ago, along with its rabbis who have been just as involved, were abandoned by the communities they had put their blood, sweat, and tears into advocating for when they had the audacity to grieve for the dead of october 7th.

a year ago, i learned the hard way that we are not special in this time. antisemitism is a river that has ebbed and flowed for thousands of years, and i felt like a fool for thinking a dam could be built overnight.

a lot of people say that every day of this year for them has been october 7th, but for me every day has been october 8th. the day after the initial shock, when reality started to sink in. the realization that all the people who had shared “happy rosh hashanah” posts or complimented my kippah or pretended to care about harry potter goblins were quickly dropping the facade. that my token minority card had expired and now having a jew in their group didn’t look diverse, it looked “sympathetic toward israel.” every day has been a painful reminder that no one else is grieving like we are, and a large number of those people are angry that we are grieving. they don’t understand that we’re not just grieving the lives lost and the hostages. we’re grieving for the world we thought we knew, a world where we might have a chance to thrive like we did in the golden age of spain. but those golden years are ending. and that is one of the things we are grieving.

a lot of people also say that they wish they could go back to who they were on october 6th, but i don’t. i’m glad the illusion was shattered, that i can see more clearly who will stand with jews even if they face backlash, who will challenge their antisemitic biases and do the hard work to unlearn them, and who did not have to be asked twice to share literal nazi rhetoric if it meant feeling like a hero. i’m glad the masks are coming off because it means you can’t gaslight us anymore and tell us it’s all in our heads. we can see you for exactly who you are now. and we will not let you break us.

i don’t want to be living forever in october. i don’t want the blissful ignorance of october 6th, but i also don’t want the bitter anger of october 8th. i want to stand up for what i believe in, to celebrate my culture and my people, and no amount of intimidation or harassment will keep me from loving my jewishness. you have shown me i can no longer live in october 6th, but i refuse to let you keep me in october 8th.

[dira333]

Good things come to those who wait - Kirishima x Reader

I don't know why but this was really hard for me to write. I hope you still enjoy it - @crimsonredlotus

"You good?" Mina's waving a hand in front of his eyes, back and forth, back and forth. "Never saw you zone out like that before, not even when they announced Crimson Riot becoming a playable character in the Hero Nights Multiplayer Game."

"I just saw the most beautiful girl in the world," he stammers, eyes still locked on the door you disappeared through. "Like... Oh, no, that was superficial, wasn't it? Like, I swear she's probably super smart and incredibly talented, but I just- I noticed- I swear I don't care about looks that much!"

"Relax," Mina slings an arm around his shoulder, "You're still manly. Now, describe her to me. I need the deets."

-

"Did you see that?" Yukie asks, giggling. "The redhead couldn't believe his eyes when he saw you. I swear, there were hearts dancing around his head."

"You're exaggerating," you tell her off, though your heart still beats a little faster. He'd been cute, really cute, with his red hair and flushed face, wide grin, and open posture. Like sunshine poured into a human being, but that might just be your imagination. You didn't know him, after all.

-

"Okay, so she's one of the business class students," Mina recalls, "She's getting good grades, and the teachers like her a lot. I think I've heard Ectoplasm call her by her first name and he's really picky with that."

"Sounds kinda boring," Bakugo declares as Kirishima presses both hands to his mouth to hide his glee. "See!" He preens, "I knew she was special. I bet she has an awesome quirk too." He falters immediately. "Oh, but that means she won't be interested in me."

"No, no, we don't think like that here," Mina bonks him on the head with her fist. "You've got great qualities, not to mention a solid body to show off. And you're a nice person, unlike some other people here." She glares at Bakugo who only snorts.

"So now that we know her name and her class, how are you planning to go over it," Sero asks, leaning in, "Business Class isn't all that interested in Hero Class. They think we're stuck up."

"I can't just go over there and ask her out!" Kirishima wails, "That would be totally unmanly. What if she feels pressured to say yes? I could never live with that."

"I'm going to infiltrate their friend group and get the intel," Mina promises. "Jirou, you're with me."

-

You blink in surprise when two girls slide into the seats across from you and Yukie.

"Do we... know you?" You ask, a little concerned by the bright smile on the pink-skinned girl's face. The other one looks like she might not be here on her own accord.

"Oh, we're from the Hero Class. We just wanted to get to know you people a bit better. How are you? What are your names? What are you learning in Class?"

"Which Hero Class?" You ask.

"1A of course, the best one!"

"Ah, so you've got Aizawa-Sensei as homeroom teacher?"

"The man, the mystery, you name it. I'm Mina, by the way." She offers you her hand and you shake it, albeit a bit reluctantly.

"Say, do you have any cute boys in your Class?" Mina leans in, "Because we might have some cute boys in our Class but they're just not my style, if you know what I mean."

You share a look with Yukie. She smiles. "Oh, yes, we do have some hotties. Look," she pulls out her phone to showcase the class photo you had to take a week ago. "This one's already taken though," she points out. And he eats his snot as a way to power his quirk. I'm not one to Quirkshame, but that's kinda disgusting."

"Oh, talking about Quirks," Mina flashes yet another smile. "Mine is Acid and Jirou's here is Earphone Jack. What are yours?"

Your smile tightens. "I'm Quirkless," you point out, waiting for the usual reaction. Mina's smile falters for a millisecond.

"Oh, I'm... sorry, I guess? I don't know if you feel bad about it, but I don't really think you need a Quirk to succeed-"

"Unless you want to be a hero," you point out calmly, grabbing your plate. "I need to get back to Class."

"No, wait," Mina's standing now, "I need to know if you think Kirishima is cute."

"Mina!" Jirou hisses. "That's not subtle at all."

"Maybe, but I'm not going without an answer." Mina stomps her foot and you throw her a look.

"I don't know who this Kirishima is, but I don't care for boys who cannot ask me questions themselves. And if you feel threatened by my existence, don't bother. I don't care about the Hero Class anyway."

"You really are a good liar," Yukie exclaims once you're out of earshot of the girls, "I might have even believed that myself had I not known you're crushing a teensy bit for that redhead from the Hero Department."

"Let's just hope he's not in Mina's Class," you tell her, looking back. To your surprise, Jirou's looking directly at you.

-

"Dad?" You ask after Dinner, sliding into the small space between him and the front door, "Can I ask you a Question?"

"Sure can, Bean," he pats your head before taking a seat on the stairs. "What's the matter?"

"Mina Ashido came to see me at Lunch today."

"Mina?" He looks surprised. "What did she want?"

"I'm not sure, she was all over the place asking questions. But she mentioned someone from her Class... Kirishima, I think?"

"Ah yes, they're friends. What about him?"

"What does he look like?"

Your Stepdad blinks. "Why do you wanna know?"

"For reasons I cannot disclose."

He laughs softly. "Alright, alright. Red hair, shark teeth. Does that answer your question? You don't look too happy about that answer."

"Is he nice?"

He ponders that question for a moment. "He's not the smartest and his Quirk is better for Defense, which clearly troubles him, but he's pretty social and gets along with everyone in Class. Why do you ask?"

Now... how to answer that? If you say he has a crush on you, will that fall back on him? Your Dad is his teacher after all. And if you say you have a crush on him, won't your Dad just end up embarrassing you? You want to do nothing but forget it, but your Middle School Crush is still fresh in your mind, or rather, how your Father tried to threaten him into going on a Date with you.

"Never mind," you lie, "I was just curious. Have a safe Patrol, okay?"

"Okay," he leans down to press a kiss to your temple, "Don't stay up too late, okay?"

"Aye Aye, Eraserhead."

- - -

"Hey, ehm..." You turn at the call of your name, surprised to see Kirishima. You thought the Hero Classes would only come back to school next week.

"Hey," you give him a small smile. He deserves it, after all you've heard. "Glad to see you're alive and well."

"About that, yeah, I-" He stops, takes a deep breath, "I heard from Eri that you're... that you're Aizawa-Sensei's daughter."

You tense a little, but you nod. "Stepdaughter, to be exact. He does collect us like Pokemon, it seems."

Kirishima laughs softly at that. "How is he? Last I heard he got released from the Hospital."

"He's adapting," you shrug, unsure what to say. "Mom keeps making him a ton of food, so we're all gaining weight. He keeps forgetting to put his new foot on, so I often stumble over it. It's... eh..." you halt, take a breath, "It's good to have him back."

"I can imagine. I hope he... I don't wanna assume, but-"

"He's coming back as a teacher," you nod, "He'd never leave a class behind. Least of all you. He's very fond of you guys."

"Ah," Kirishima rubs the back of his head, "We're not that special. Annoying, yes. But not special."

You smile. It's easier now, talking to him, without the pretense and the Chaos of who likes who, of High School Rumours and all the Gossip.

"Kirishima? Would you... like to get something to drink?"

-

"What?" Midoriya blinks. "I missed all of that? I wasn't in the hospital for that long."

"Longer," Bakugo harrumphs before stuffing his face again. You'd been a little scared of him before, but Kirishima had vouched for him, calling him a softie with the prickliest attitude.

"Ah, Sorry, sorry." Midoriya grins, reddening. "So glad to be back though. How's Eri, by the way."

"Great," you smile, pressed into Kirishima's side. You haven't been official for long, but he's the touchiest person you know. "She's found a few friends in school that she keeps bringing home. One of them, Kota, is a huge fan of me for reasons I still haven't found out."

"Ah," Kirishima grins, "That's because you're Quirkless. He thinks you're like Midoriya."

"Like..." You blink at the green-haired boy who defeated All For One mere months ago. "Why?"

Midoriya laughs, cheeks now as red as Kirishima's hair. "Long Story."

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[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Office Secrets

Luke Cooper x f!reader

TW: smut, p in v, unprotected, fingering… lmk if there’s anything else lol

Word count: 1526

Friendly note, I wrote this all in one day so it’s probably not the best but I’ve been so obsessed w Evan lately I just needed to write lol Enjoy!!!

~~~

“So, who wants to bet the two newbies are doing it?” Meredith says as she puts coins into one of the vending machines.

“They so are,” Kevin says. “Have you seen the way they look at each other it’s like- Pam and Jim.”

“Hey!”

Angela shakes her head. “You people are disgusting… but I wouldn’t doubt it. I’ve seen them flirting on multiple occasions.”

“This is all circumstantial, it doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together,” Oscar argues.

“I would bet they are,” Phillas says with a laugh. “I mean I remember how fun it was being all secret with Bob, it’s so thrilling.”

Pam glances at you in the annex, Luke’s leaning back on your desk, smiling as you two talk. She looks back to the group and shrugs. “It’s possible they are.”

~~~

“Hey y/n, do you think you could make some copies for me?” Pam asks as you’re walking by.

“Yeah of course, double or single sided?” You reply with a smile.

“Double please.” She hands you the original.

You walk to the copier, but as you’re about to open it, Luke slips in front of you.

“Luke I was about to make copies,” you say, annoyed.

“So do I, you aren’t the only person in the office who needs to get stuff done,” he laughs.

“Since when have you ever had things to get done? You’re the laziest person here.”

“That’s hostile,” he replies, turning around to give you a smirk. “I might have to report you to HR.”

“Just please hurry up,” you mumble.

“Anything for you babe.” He winks.

You turn to the camera and stare, almost at your limit with this boy.

~~~

“I just don’t understand men sometimes it’s like, he’s so different when we’re alone yet in public he wants to be the biggest ass ever,” you rant to the camera, you’re in the hallway near the elevator where no one will hear you. “Sometimes I just want to knee him in the balls and get on with my day.”

“If he’s so annoying why do you sleep with him?”

You frown. “He’s really good at that stuff, most assholes are honestly.”

~~~

You’re at the vending machine getting a snack when you feel arms snake around your waist. You quickly turn around and push him away.

“Luke stop it we can’t be doing this here,” you whisper.

He looks out the windows then back at you. “Nobody’s around, come on just one kiss. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since last night baby.”

You and Luke were hired about three weeks ago now, both just interns to help out with the little things around the office. At first you thought Luke was an idiot slack off, but after a week of him constantly flirting with you, you decided he wasn’t that bad of a guy and of course he’s gorgeous. And, after one night where he gave you a ride home this simple work crush turned into casual sex.

You made Luke promise to keep it a secret, you didn’t want anyone at the office to think your personal life would interfere with you doing your job. So, far you don’t think anyone has figured it out, and your glad.

“Don’t talk like that here,” you say, giving him a slight glare. “We made a deal.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m serious Luke, imagine if Michael found out. He’d make it a whole thing.”

“It probably already is a thing, Jim and Pams was.”

You scoff at him. “Okay, that doesn’t mean this has to be.”

“Whatever,” he says as he begins to walk away. “See you later.”

You give an annoyed look to the camera and shake your head before returning to your previous activity.

~~~

“Listen, y/n is a good girl I guess, I just wish she’d stop acting like the office finding out about our thing is the worst possibility imaginable,” Luke tells the crew outside the break room.

“What do you think would happen if they found out?”

“I don’t know, they’d give us weird looks. It doesn’t really matter it’s not like me and her are gonna be working here forever. At least I know I’m not, not sure what her life plans are.”

~~~

You stare at the clock and sigh, still a whole nother hour left at the office. This whole day has been terrible, mostly due to Luke. You don’t understand why he’s acting so annoying today. Usually he’s decent toward you, probably because of what he wants from you the second work ends. You turn back to your desk and start to organize papers, deciding Luke isn’t important.

A few have passed when Luke appears beside you. He leans back on your desk, one of his hands gripping the edge. You try to ignore him, keeping your attention on the stack of paper you’ve been messing with. Luke doesn’t let you ignore him forever though.

“Can you come with me somewhere where we can speak privately… away from the cameras.”

You look up at him. Is this it? Is he really going to break it off at work? You can’t believe it. You want to give him a piece of your mind, so you slightly nod and get up, following him out of the annex and down the hall to one of the stock rooms. You’re ready to start giving it to him but before you can he smashes his lips on yours.

At first, you’re caught off guard, he’s never kissed you at work before. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back however. He backs you up till the back of your legs hit a spare desk. You let him guide you onto it, your kiss turning into something more.

He bites down on your lip, his hands roaming up and down the sides of your body. You have to admit, you’d been craving this too. Even though you saw each other last night. Luke was the best you’d ever had, how were you supposed to not want him again? Even though he’s been annoying you all day you can’t help but melt into the palm of his hand, he’s just so damn attractive.

“Luke, we can’t do this at work,” you whisper, the sensible part of you taking over.

“Nobody will know, come on baby, I’ve been thinking of you all day. I need you,” he replies.

Your stomach fills with butterflies at his words. He knows exactly how to persuade you. You fall back on the desk as he kisses down your neck, Your legs wrap around his waist, he makes you feel so good. He brings his lips back up to yours as one of his hands starts to slip up your skirt and under your panties.

He starts to rub small circles on your clit; you to moan into his mouth. He smirks against your mouth. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, you love the feeling of his body against yours. It’s the best you’ve ever felt.

“You’re already so wet baby,” he mumbles on your lips.

“Luke,” you moan.

“Do you want it baby?”

You nod, moving one of your hands down to rub the bulge in his pants. He grins at you and removes his fingers, beginning to undo his belt and fly. In seconds you feel his tip brushing against your entrance. He leans back over you as he begins to slowly thrust inside of you. You bite down on your lip and close your eyes, the familiar feeling of him filling you taking over.

You throw your head back as he starts fucking you. The sound of the desk hitting the wall doesn’t even register in your head. You’re too engulfed in how good Luke’s dick feels inside you, hitting that special spot that makes your legs shake. His head rests in the crook of your neck, he’s moaning and whispering all the dirty things he wants to do to you. It’s all too good to be true.

Eventually though, you feel that tightening in your stomach, your orgasm approching. Luke must realize this because he doesn’t stop his violent thrusts for even a second. You hold on to him tightly, biting down on his clothed shoulder as you finally cum. He finishes with you, pushing himself so far inside you he’s hitting your cervix.

He lays on you for a few seconds before pulling himself up enough to look down at you. His chest is still heaving as he speaks in a soft voice, “I really like you y/n.”

“I really like you too Luke,” you say with a weak smile.

Both of you get yourselves decent fast, you’ve been away for at least fifteen minutes by now. You give Luke one last kiss before exiting the small room alone, he promised to wait a minute or too before following.

As you sit at your desk and resume your previous activities, Luke walks by you, sending a quick wink before disappearing into the main office. You give a small stare into one of the cameras, your face turning bright red. This was only the beginning.

[romana-after-dark]

Room's on Fire: Pilot

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist

Spotify playlist

Summery: The Delta is a commune in the middle of nowhere established by Santiago's mother. Since Divine Mother's passing in a rebellion a decade ago, Santiago, known as The Pope, and his half-God brethren Francisco, Benjamin and William have ran the commune. Now it is time for them to take a collective bride to breed, to bring the savior into the world.

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence.

This is not meant to be a statement about religion, Christianity, or Catholicism, this is simply my take on a cult. I am a religious person. I understand that some of this may be very offensive to religious people so if you don't like thing like AHS Asylum or Black Mass, maybe consider not reading.

"Come on home, girl, he said with a smile You don't have to love me yet, let's get high awhile But try to understand, try to understand Try, try, try to understand That I'm a magic man." ~Magic Man, Heart.

"God dammit Benjamin, what the hell is wrong with you!”

Will smacked Ben upside the head as Frankie chided him.

Ben tried to defend himself. “Hey! You guys act like you don’t sleep with ‘em too, why are you blaming me?”

“You’re fucking a new woman every goddamn week, you have no fucking class, we’re not even supposed to be sleeping with these women,-”

Santiago’s voice, strong and comanding, broke through the bickering. “Gentlemen, please, this is not becoming behavior for Gods.”

With their leader’s command, the other three settled down, Frankie’s eyes casting away. “Sorry, Pope.”

Pushing himself off from the wall he had been leaning against, Santiago walked toward the group. “That can’t be all the options. There’s no way Benny’s made his way through every of age virgin in our compound, we have over 5 thousand people here.”

The men thought through the women they knew, the various families at the massive compound who could accomplish their task. She couldn’t just be a virgin, that was the thing.

They needed their Madonna.

Before her death, Santiago’s mother informed their group that the prophecy would not be fulfilled through Santiago, that he was not the promised savior. Instead, he was destined to lead after her passing and that Santiago, Francisco, William and Benjamin were all demi-Gods. This was a step up for the Millers and Francisco, who had spend their youths in the privileged position of foster brothers to Santiago and living under The Divine Mother’s roof and direct guidance. To Santiago, however, this was a humiliating demotion.

His childhood was never one of whimsy, growing up told that he was a God, that he was the second coming, that he was the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned… All that changed in his pre-teens. Suddenly, his mother was less pleased with him. His divinity was constantly dangled above his head. When his 20’s came and he failed to be what his mother wanted, she stripped him of his full God-hood.

So why, pray tell, were him and his fellow leaders and brethren searching for a virgin? Since Santiago had failed, they needed to father a new child. A new savior. Divine Mother’s instructions were clear; they were all to wed and breed a virgin from their compound. She was to live in their home as their wife for them to use not only whenever they wanted, but whenever they could. A sacred duty to be fruitful and multiple. It didn’t matter whose child grew in her, as long as there was a child. The world would be saved, and Santiago would earn his mothers favor from the heavens.

So, she couldn’t just be anyone. She needed to be a virgin, pure and holy. She needed to be beautiful, strong, faithful to their ways, faithful to the Divine Mother, faithful to the Pope, William, Benjamin, and Francisco.

“What about Marcus’s kid?’ Will asked, breaking their silence, causing everyone to turn to him.

Frank frowned. “You think the daughter of a traitor is the best option for the Madonna?” The sarcasm was clear. He didn’t like this plan as it was. He didn’t want strangers in their home, breaching security, putting his brothers at risk.

“That might actually be the solution to the problem.” He waited until Pope gestured for him to go on, not immediately shutting it down.

“The rebellion was when she was 12, the interrogations found she had no knowledge of her father’s plans. Ever since, she has been isolated. Lydia says she has caused no problems in the women’s home, been obedient but has no friends, no connections.”

“So you think she’s intact?”

“Santi, I doubt she’d had her first kiss.”

Since the rebellion 10 years ago, Will has set up measures to identify problems before they become something like that, and that meant keeping tabs on people. Single women lived in a few group homes throughout the compound. Each home had prefects that reported to house mothers, and house mothers that reported to Will. Anyone that was of any concern, Will checked in on, that included daughters of rebels.

“And she danced at the fire?” Pope asked, arms still crossed but listening.

Will nodded. “She did. No signs of disloyalty.”

Muttering, Frankie asked Ben if he’d slept with her in recent years.

He shook his head. “Nope. Forgot she existed.”

Frankie watched as Pope thought things through, his mouth shifting.  Frankie asked, “How are the other viable women going to take it if the daughter of a traitor is chosen above them?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Ben said, defensive of Pope. His loyalty to Santiago went above everything. “If she’s the right person, she’s chosen divinely.”

Santiago held up a hand, stopping another argument. “A redemption. She has the option to purify herself from the sins of her father through the pain of childbirth.”

“Biblical precedent…” Will murmured in agreement.

“And if she fails to produce a child, then we can say we were deceived-”

“Like Eve deceived Adam. Damn, Pope, I think it’s a winner.”

Santiago smiled at his fellow leader, clasping his hands together. “Alright, let’s go visit her, make sure she’s suitable.”

*

You were dead. It was over. Lydia had cleared all the other women out of the dormitory room and told you that the Pope and the other divine leaders would be coming to speak privately to you and you assumed that you had slipped up somehow and it was the end for you. You didn’t know what you possibly could have done. You never ever spoke badly about anyone, none the less your beloved leaders! You adored them all, worshipped them as they deserved, as you had Divine Mother…

Had they decided you were too much of a liability after what your father had done? How was that possible, it had been a decade… why now…

You gasp. Fransisco… he was clairvoyant… had he seen into your dream? Had he seen what you saw oh-so often, the dreams that forced you awake crying?

You prepared yourself to grovel, to beg for mercy, to plead that these dreams of fire were not what you wanted, that they tormented you. Would you forever be labeled a traitor for what your father had done? Hadn’t you proved your loyalty to The Delta?

The door opened and you dropped to your knees, silent until spoken too. You can hear Benjamin whisper a damn. The floor creaks in front of where you knelt, arms prostrated out and for a moment, everything stood still. Warm hands were on your chin, guiding you up to see him.

He was so much more stunning up close. You’d heard tales from other girls of the men, of the way they bedded them, how it was glorious, the most holy form of worship to allow them inside you… You had taken note that you had not been allowed that honor, you had accepted it as the punishment for the sins of your birth, you never thought you’d be worthy of close contact, but right now… Pope was touching your face, your chin tucked between his thumb and forefinger; his eyes were so close to yours, his plump lips keep a soft smile. “Do not be afraid, darling girl. If we are correct, you may outshine us all.”

*

“But it is, of course, your choice.”

Your choice…

This phrase was preceded by the reminder that if you said no, there would be no savior.

There was no choice.

“I am a servant to my lords.”

Santiago smiled at that. “Excellent. Now, let’s begin the inspection.”

The what?

“Oh… is it… I swear I am a virgin, I’ve never been touched-”

“I know.” Francisco said. Oh, right. Clairvoyant. “We need to make sure you’re… healthy.”

“Oh. Yes, of course then.”

Francisco undressed you, his calm demeanor and soothing touch eased you as he slowly stripped you of your clothing. He pulled the loose shirt over your body as you raised your hands, the pail bra underneath had a lot of coverage (everything was meant to be practical) but you still felt exposed.

“Just down to her underwear, Francisco.” Will instructed as he watched. Will was a healer, that was his gift.

Francisco pulled down your pants slowly, and you feel eyes scaling you.

“Strip her down fully, Frank.” Ben tells Francisco, and you jolt when you feel his hands on the bare skin on your hips.

Francisco sighs, but Will puts his foot down. “She doesn’t need to be naked, this is invasive enough as it is”

Ben gave a short laugh. “More invasive than fucking her.”

“BEN!” All three of them shouted, discomfort and fears coursing through your body.

“Pope, she’s shaking.” Francisco asserts with his hands on your shoulders and you watch Pope give Ben a look.

“You behave, your brother knows what he’s doing.” He turns to Will, jerking his head at you. “Handle it.”

Will approaches you, his hands on your face. He holds you different than Pope, more firm, more all-encompassing. Will’s hands were larger, and he placed them at the side of your head, like he was holding you together. “Hey, it’s alright. It’s like a medical examination, okay?”

You nod within his grasp. “Okay.”

He smiled at you. “Good girl. I’m going to touch you, just stand there and take it. Trust me.”

You did. You’d follow him anywhere if he spoke like that. His hands move down your neck, slowly over your shoulders and down your arms, sending a chill through your body. He squeezed your hands. “Doing so good princess. Gonna check your backside now, can you straighten up for me?” You square your shoulders as he walks around, towering over you. You lock eyes with Ben; he looks hungry, like he’s ready to pounce but smiling at you with his boyish charm you can’t help wonder what that pounce would feel like. Ben had slept with almost every girl in your dormitory, and you’d been privy to all kinds of colorful descriptions as you overheard girls talking. Not to you. Never to you.

Will rubbed his hands together and breathed on them to aid the warmth before placing his fingertips at the top-most part of your back. Slowly, he dragged 8 fingers down, applying pressure, sending a tingling down your spine as his fingers traced it. “Excellent posture, just need to check a few things.” His hands went back up, fingers bracing at your sides as his thumbs searched certain spots, rubbing over aching parts of you with pressure, but not pain.

“Got a few knots.” Will comment’s, and you turn slight back towards him, suddenly scared.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, no. Nothing to worry about. Just means you’re stressed. It hurt there sometimes?”

He continued massaging you, your next words coming out with a moan. “Yeah.”

“I know it does, sweet girl. Don’t you worry, I’ll help you take care of that. You will be my wife, after all.”

The thought brings a small smile to your face. The smile falters when his hands wrap around your front, William’s body pressed up against your back. His hands are pressing into your stomach, making their way up until he cups your breast, a small groan escaping his mouth that had somehow found its way into your hair.

“She likes that.” You here Ben say, drawing your attention, his grin made you swell with pride. You’d spoken with him before; Benjamin knew all the women. Still, he never chose you to bed and you had thought you weren’t appealing but now, now you see it. Now, as Ben began to touch himself over his pants as he watched his brother examine your body, you realize you were meant for a higher purpose. You were being saved, protected, put on a pedestal for this moment, to be the mother of their child, to be their Madonna.

Will continued him ministrations, soft grunts as he ground his hips into your ass. You can se his eyes are locked in with Pope. Pope, is watching the scene with hooded eyes and parted lips. With a soft but powerful moan, Will stilled behind you, panting a soft kiss on your neck before his fingertips trails your panty line. “Now, for the vaginal exam.”

All the pleasure you felt stops, your body freezing up again. “B-but, you said I wouldn’t-”

William turned you around to face him. “I have to check out your privates, gotta make sure you’re safe. It’s just me, it’s just external, don’t worry. We’ll face away.” He knelt down.

You were acutely aware your ass was still out for the other men when you heard Ben groan when your underwear is pulled down, the distinct sound of him summoning Francisco, who had been quiet so far, and the unzipping of pants.

“Goddamn…” He says, notching your legs so they spread and lifting one foot so it is resting on his bent knee. He touched your sensitive skin. “Pope, you gotta see this… the girls wet.”

“But-” I wanted to protest that he had said it would only be him, but there was no point. Soon, you’d be married, and they be able to have you as much as they wanted.

“Holy shit, she’s dripping…” Pope marvels as the slick running down your thighs.

Will continues prodding at you, fingers running through your glistening folds. In the background was a sound you couldn’t quiet pinpoint, and something that sounded like kissing, but who would be kissing? There was only Ben and Francisco there. Will dips his finger slightly inside your hole, making you gasp.

“Careful.” Pope warned. “She needs to stay intact.”

“I know.” Will groans. “But she’s so fucking tight, Pope.”

A muffled but strong groan behind you, and Pope looks like he’s about to fall apart when he pulls away.

“William, Franisco, Ben. Go to Lydia, tell her the wedding will be at her next ovulation.”

The men reluctantly made their exit leaving Pope alone in the room with you. He pulled up your underwear and pants before helping you back into your shirt. “You are perfect.” He grabbed your face again, pinching your chin and guiding you to look up at him. “Pack only personal items. You’ll have new clothing, everything will be taken care of. From now on, as long as you are what we need you to be, whatever you need, you’ll have.”

He leans in and you open your mouth to him, beautifully alluring, gifting him your first kiss and the spark was ignited. He was everything now.

“My Madonna.”

WE'RE LIVE! So excited to do this, I was a little too excited, I didn't wait until january like i said lol. After this I'm gonna try and finish Blessed be the Fruit and Awakening before going forward which shouldnt be long

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Special thanks to my BELOVED @hon3yboy for encouraging me so fucking hard with this series!!! she is so wonderful and has written great work including WEREWOLF MARC SPECTOR!!!!

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[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Lily didn't know that fourteen was the year for kids to go love crazy. Ever since the term started she had heard her classmates talking about who they fancied or not, who was the fittest bird or bloke. Like Mary Macdonald who since the term began, didn't stop talking about how James Potter had gotten more handsome than ever.

Lily didn't agree. The prospect of being on the age of potentially starting having boyfriends excited her. She was a seeker for a good romance after all. But Lily didn't see her male classmates as fit or good matches like the rest of the girls. Specially not James Potter, who was her real nightmare since she met him three years ago. She couldn't find anyone more annoying, more irritating and more self centered as Potter. Lily didn't understand what Mary saw in him.

At least Lily could understand why half of the girls at Hogwarts were wondering if Sirius Black was single. Because only a blind person couldn't see how handsome that wanker was. But Potter? Really? With those big glasses and that untidy hair...

"Marly, you are his friend" Mary was saying that night "Do you think he would be interested in me?"

Lily was silent as she pretend to read a book from her bed.

Marlene made face "I don't think James is interested in anyone more than himself, if I'm honest"

Lily couldn't agree more.

"Oh come on! Boys are finally noticing us" Mary commented "And it is obvious that both boys and girls are more... developed" she smirked "James has always been cute. But he is taller and his voice is deeper... He's becoming a man"

Lily couldn't help but snort. James Potter could be a monkey more than a man.

Shit, now the girls were looking at her.

"Sorry" Lily blushed as she pointed to the book on her hands "Just read a funny scene"

The girls ignored her. Mary turned to Marlene again.

"Could you please ask him if he would be interested in me?"

"Do I have to?" Marlene didn't seem convinced, so Mary pouted.

"Pleaseee!"

Marlene twisted her mouth.

"Fine! I'll ask him"

Mary beamed, hugging her friend tight. Marlene was pleased.

"But honestly Mar, you can do so much better" she tutted.

Lily pitied Mary or the poor girl that ended up dating James Potter.

Perhaps she could give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Potter had matured this year and poor Mary had a chance.

Although Lily confirmed that James Potter was the horrible person she always thought he was the next day.

Lily was minding her own business, walking to the Library in fact, when she heard the group of boys that called themselves The Marauders (lame name) talking on the stairs.

"That was the fifth time this week, Sirius" Peter said after a group of giggling girls waved at Sirius and he winked back "We haven't settled in properly and half the school is drooling for you"

Lily didn't know why she hid behind the wall to keep listening. It was none of her business. Well, maybe she was a curious person. Reason why she listened to Mary and Marlene talking last night. If her life was dull, maybe she could live it through other people's dramas.

"Speaking from envy, Pete?" Lily could hear the smile on Sirius’s voice "It's not my fault I have gorgeous looks"

"The difference is that Sirius announced he is not interested in dating any of them" Potter added with a cheeky tone "Didn't you, mate?"

"Not fair" Peter groaned "I want to date all of them"

"Don't sound so desperate, Pettigrew" Sirius chuckled "We just started term"

"Yeah but something weird happened since this summer. I can't stop watching girls and..."

"Wanking?" Potter asked with a laugh. Black laughed with him.

"Guys!" Peter protested and Lily assumed he was getting red.

Lily felt her cheeks burning. She had heard some of Petunia's friends talking about the matter before. But it seemed so weird, taboo and disgusting.

"Totally normal" Potter continued "Talked about it with my dad. We're getting older and we are having sexual needs"

"You talked about it with your dad?" Black seemed surprised.

"Well, by force" Potter confirmed, Lily could swore he was red "He caught me staring at several women's necklines during the summer, then sat me to talk about the matter"

God, Potter was so disgusting.

"And he told you about wanking and stuff?" Sirius asked amused.

"Not precisely, he just said that it is normal we look at girls and feel... Stuff..."

Lily shouldn't be listening to this. Oh my God. But her feet seemed to be stuck.

"I feel stuff" Peter confirmed as Sirius laughed.

"You guys are so pathetic"

"Don't tell me, Sirius, that you don't find girls interesting"

"There might be several, I consider interesting..."

"I consider them all interesting at the moment" Peter commented under his breath.

"There are several girls who... developed this year" Potter said. It was what Mary had said.

"Like who?" Black teased.

"Lily Evans, for example"

The second Potter said that, his friends bursted into fits of laughter. And Lily's eyes widened.

"Whinny Little Evans?"

"Snivellus's Friend?"

"Teacher's pet Evans?"

"What?" Potter protested as the two boys kept laughing "I saw her the other day with a tight blouse and she had boobs...A nice pair, I might add"

Lily stared down at her chest. They definitely had grown but other girls had them bigger and more rounded. Lily never considered she had a good body or good face for that matter.

Black and Pettigrew kept laughing as they couldn't believe Lily had actual boobs.

Lily imagined Potter's cheeks bright red and the annoying way in which he pushed his glasses up when he was nervous.

"Oh sod off! Stop laughing!"

Lily cursed herself for knowing that.

"Come on, Jamsie!" Sirius giggled "We're talking about Evans... Evaaans... The girl is nuts"

"And very annoying" Peter agreed "She always telling teachers what we do"

Lily pursed her lips. That was because they were always doing mischief.

"I know... I know..." Potter said nervously "I'm not saying I'm marrying her or anything. I just think she is fitter this term. I am not blind... "

"You are blind" Sirius chuckled "Her nose is too big and her braces make her look weird"

Lily felt a knot on her throat. She shouldn't care what that wanker said.

"Oh, she is not wearing braces anymore" Potter intervened "She looks better without them"

What annoyed Lily the most was that James Potter of all people was defending her.

"Did you hear, Pete?" Sirius laughed "Our Jamsie is in love with Whinny Evans"

"I am not!!" Potter seemed embarrassed "I just pointing out that she is kind of fit... That's... That's all"

Black continued laughing. The prat.

"Oh shut up, Sirius!"

"Good thing you don't fancy her" Peter intervened "I heard she is dating Snivellus"

Honestly, people were so annoying. Severus was her friend. Her best friend. A lot of people had assumed they were dating over the years. As if boys and girls couldn't be friends. Of course the rumor had spread now more since her classmates were more obsessed about the dating subject.

"See, Pete?" Sirius was mocking "Even Snivellus is dating someone and not you"

"Fuck off, Sirius!"

"Honestly, Evans deserve better than old Snivellus" Potter commented with a tut.

"Like you, my brilliant hero?"

Black was a disgusting pig, he made everything a joke.

"I'm just saying it because no matter how annoying she is... Nobody deserves to date someone so disgusting as Snivellus... Too much grease!"

Lily clenched her fist. She could punch him. Why wouldn't they leave Severus alone?

"Yeah, right" Sirius tutted.

"And maybe yes! I would be an improvement for Evans, surely"

It was Peter's turn to laugh.

"She would never give you a chance!"

"What's that supposed to mean, Pete?"

"Pete is right" Black added "She hates you, mate"

Potter gasped. Right it just hurt his ego.

"I bet pigs would fly before Evans gives you a chance" Peter added.

"Oh do you want to bet?" James asked now with his annoying superior tone. "I bet I can get Evans on a date before Peter even gets a date"

Lily had her mouth open now. Pettigrew would surely get offended. But he didn't show it

"Oh it is on!" he spat "I will totally win this. Evans despises you"

Lily did. Even more now.

There was a brief silence now, so Lily assumed they shook hands.

"I want to be in" Black added.

"No no no!" Peter said "It is too easy for you"

"Put me an impossible, then"

What a pig!

"McGonagall!" James exclaimed. The other boys laughed.

"Very funny"

"Okay... There's not impossible for you, though"

"How about a number?" Sirius said "I snog twenty girls before Christmas break"

"Twenty!?" Peter was shocked.

Lily couldn't hear anymore. She was so angry and disgusted that she was going to commit murder if she continued there any longer.

Lily's anger lasted all day. She couldn't concentrate on her classes, which annoyed her. She couldn't stop thinking about how much she wanted those boys to die. She hated them. She loathed them. Especially Potter.

Lily was spiteful at dinner. She was grunting under her breath. And aggressively serving herself the food.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked next to her.

Lily took a deep breath "Everyone is so annoying this term... Talking about dating and stuff... Aarrg it is so irritating"

Severus blinked at her.

"Ignore them"

"God, but everyone is so obsessed with it!"

"What do you think about that?" Severus asked nervously "Would you potentially..."

Lily was grabbing a piece of pie to place in her plate when the worst happened. The three assholes Lily didn't want to see appeared in that second. And pushed Severus away.

"Move, Snivellus! Out of our way" Potter snapped.

"Honestly," Black added "They shouldn't allow you near the food. You're gonna leave grease all over it"

A bunch of people laughed around them. Pettigrew the loudest. Potter was grinning and Lily wanted to rip his smile off his face.

Severus looked furious but broken. Lily was sick and tired of people treating him badly.

"Would you fuck off and leave Severus alone?" Lily snapped..

The Marauders' eyes were on her.

"Evans" Potter's hand went to his stupid hair "Defending your new boyfriend, are you?"

Lily was fuming

"Well, there are rumors surrounding you two" Potter said, then turned to Severus "Tell me, Snivy, how did you manage to be the first one in our year to have a girlfriend?"

God, this was so embarrassing. Lots of students were paying attention now. Some older students were telling them to move forward. Black found the whole thing amusing. And the worst part was that he had admirers. Even Mary and Marlene were around.

"Jealous?" Severus said under his breath.

"Not that is any of your business Potter" Lily snapped "But Severus is not my boyfriend"

Potter raised a curious eyebrow "Is that so?"

"Yes!"

"If Snivellus is not your boyfriend then..."

"Don't call him that!"

"You wouldn't mind me asking you on a date"

Several witnesses gasped or started murmuring amongst themselves. Lily couldn't avoid but blushing.

"Come on, Evans. You can do better than Snivellus" Potter cleared his throat and rubbed his hair "Would you like to go out on a date with me? Or what?"

Lily noticed how everyone's eyes were on her, expecting her answer. She saw how Severus was furious and humiliated. She saw how Black and Pettigrew were amused and she remembered their words from the morning. The way Black had made fun of her and called her ugly. And she also noticed Mary. She was eyeing at James hopefully, wishing she was her he was asking out. She had talked about how he was the love of her life the whole weak anyway.

This was humiliating. Everyone thought she was a laughing matter. They all hated her at that stupid school. Maybe except Severus.

Lily wanted to cry. But with that reaction, Potter would win. And she would never give in. And be used for a stupid bet.

So Lily grabbed the plate of pie she was going to have for dessert and tossed it to James Potter's stupid face. And God! How good it felt!

Everyone gasped, then laughed.

"I wouldn't even date you even if we were the last people on earth, Potter!" Lily screamed "You are a freaking idiot! I hate you!"

With that, Lily ran away before tears threatened to appear. Before the knot was too strong and Lily couldn't take it anymore.

In the scene remaining, James Potter was a joke for everyone around. Even his best friends. Traitors.

He knew cream had gotten inside his nostrils and his glasses were covered on it so he took them off. All he could feel and smell was lemon and sugar.

"You have something on your face, Potter" James saw a ghost of a smile on Snivellus's disgusting face. The wanker was pleased as he ran after Evans. James hated that twat.

"Are you okay, James?" Macdonald seemed concerned while Marlene couldn't contain her laughter next to her.

James nodded, trying not to look offended.

"Good job at winning the bet" Sirius whispered mockingly on his ear.

It wasn't that James cared about winning the freaking bet. Something weird happened to him when he bumped into Evans at the beginning of term. He felt something with wings flying inside of him. Butterflies? And he thought he hadn't seen a girl more beautiful than her. That beautiful long red hair, those freckles, her green eyes, her lips, her breasts, everything. His heart even jumped inside his chest.

But James didn't want to sound sappy in front of his mates. He was embarrassed about what Evans was making him feel.

"It is not over, Sirius" he said to his best friend as he tried to wipe cream off his face "I don't take a no for an answer"

[sorchathered]

Pride, Prejudice, and Flyboys

Pairing- Bob Floyd x reader

Warnings- Smut, minors dni, language, drinking.

Summary- Bob can’t stand Siren, she’s been the bane of his existence since he met her…but maybe it’s more?

My second post for ibffm 😈 enjoy! Thank you @attapullman for making January all about our favorite WSO!

————————————————————————

He’s pretty sure he actually hates her. His mama always taught him to never say that about anyone but right now he can’t be bothered to be gentlemanly. Siren is by far the most annoyingly perfect person he’s ever met, effortlessly funny, excellent at her job, beloved by everyone she meets; the list goes on and on and Bob wishes someone had at least one bad thing to say about her. She’s even a morning person for god sakes, bouncing into the training room most mornings with coffees for the whole squad, oozing sunshine as she greets everyone.

No one gets it, Bob has always been such a kind soul but ever since Siren joined the squad as Hangman’s WSO Bob’s attitude has been abysmal. They went to Top Gun together and the naval academy, most everyone knew they’d had some sort of love/hate relationship but couldn’t ever seem to figure out just what it was that caused such a rift. She had always been so nice to him but Bob just couldn’t reciprocate. She was perfect. At everything. It all came easy to her, and it brought out something inside Robert Floyd, jealousy? envy? He couldn’t put his finger on it he just knew it was unfair, to her and himself. Comparing himself to someone else was something he’d always done, whether it be someone’s good looks or ability to handle social situations but not once since he’d come back to Fightertown had he questioned his abilities in his job. He’d been slowly becoming more sure of himself here, letting his guard down and integrating himself with the squad, finally feeling like he belonged. Then he stepped into work two weeks ago and there you were, perched on top of a table laughing with Phoenix and Hangman like you were old friends. Phoenix had called him over excitedly, something in your demeanor had caused her to think you two would be fast friends but it didn’t take much to realize that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

He walked up to them anyway, feet feeling like lead and nausea rising up in his throat as you whipped your head towards him. “Bob! Come on over and meet Bagman’s new back seater!”

“Oh we already know each other” you’d replied coolly, and the shift in energy was palpable.

“Siren” he said curtly, nodding in your direction but refusing to look you in the eye.

“I feel like I’m missing something here? You guys date or something baby on board?” Hangman’s gaze was curious, clearly enjoying the drama.

You both sputtered in shock, Bob simply flipping Hangman the bird and turning on his heel to find his seat with what could only be described as disgust on his features.

“Absolutely not! We just uh, we knew each other during the academy and top gun the first time, I don’t really know what it is, he just never really seemed to like me.” You looked down at your feet now, wishing the floor would swallow you up.

Drills went well the following week, you and Hangman seemed to make a perfect team, it had been suggested you become his WSO after the uranium mission, Maverick had been impressed with his flying from the beginning but knew Hangman needed to learn to be a team player. That’s where you came in, and to say the two of you were thick as thieves was an understatement. It was like you and Jake had known each other all your life, and almost sibling like camaraderie between you.

———————————————————————

Friday finally comes and everyone gathers at the Hard Deck, celebrating your joining the team and the end of a long week of training. You are the life of the party, playing pool and laughing over whatever show you and Fanboy have been binging, seamlessly fitting into the group like you’d been there all along.

Bob is beyond annoyed. He tries to fix his face but the permanent scowl that resides there won’t budge; he’s never had much of a poker face and if he’s honest he doesn’t really give a shit if he’s hiding his disdain. Do you just get along with everyone? Everyone seems to constantly be singing your praises and it’s like nails on a chalkboard having to constantly hear your name as the topic of conversation. Phoenix startles him from his thoughts as she sits down next to him with a beer, following his eye-line to confirm he is in fact staring at you.

“Ok Bobby what the hell is the problem? I’ve never seen you like this, Siren enters the room and it’s like someone shit in your cereal. She seems super nice to me so tell me what I’m not seeing?” She and Bob have come so far the past few months, gone from teammates to best friends and she is thrown for a loop seeing him in such a state.

“Do you really not see it? I mean come on she’s annoying as hell.” Phoenix doesn’t buy it, giving Bob a chastising glare and he finally folds. He knows better than to fight with her like this, she always wins anyways.

“I- ugh fine. She’s just always rubbed me the wrong way. I’m sure she’s fine truly, but she was constantly talked about in our academy days, she set the standard and no one was ever as perfect according to our instructors. It just feels like I’ve been competing with her all of my navy career and to have her here when things have been going so well felt like the rug yanked out from under me. I don’t want to hate her, but every time I see her I’m reminded of all the things I’m not and it drives me insane.” He slumps down in his chair clearly embarrassed and Phoenix feels an overwhelming amount of sympathy for her friend.

“I think if you actually tried to get to know her you’d be surprised to find that she thinks the exact same thing about you.”

Bob looks at her like she’s slapped him, shock written all over his features. What the fuck did she mean? You felt like you were in constant competition with him as well? He rolled his eyes at her after looking at you across the pool table, there was no way in hell he was feeling an ounce of sympathy for you tonight. You were a top gun nepo baby, your father’s name synonymous with the likes of Maverick and Iceman. Everything had come easy to you so why the hell Nat would think anything different was beyond his reasoning.

“I appreciate the need to keep the peace Nat, but I can’t say I buy it.”

She just shook her head and let it be, she’d truly never seen Bob like this before and it looked like it would take a miracle to get the two of you to sort out your issues.

As the night begins to wind down you make your way over to Bob’s table, a little liquid courage had you deciding it was now or never; time to find out why the soft spoken man everyone loved seemed to hate everything about you.

You plop down into the seat next to him, bringing him to the present as he looks up with a groan when he realizes it’s you.

“Can I help you Siren?”

Eyes the size of saucers at the tone in his voice you suddenly wish you could evaporate into thin air, why did he always have to be so damn mean? You’ve never been anything but kind to everyone, it just didn’t make any sense for him to treat you with so much vitriol.

“I need to know what I did.”

“Pardon?” He looks up with a grimace trying to process the situation at hand.

“What did I do Floyd? Seriously, I have never been anything less than friendly to you all these years and you treat me like I’m shit on the bottom of your shoe. What gives?! Just tell me what the hell I did so I can apologize and maybe we can get past this.” You’re shaking a little and your voice had carried more than you’d planned, noticing that your group behind you seems to have taken an active interest in what’s happening between you two.

“I’m not doing this.” Bob lets out a dark chuckle, eyes full of poison sliding from his seat, making his way to the door.

You look around behind you at your squad, beet red with embarrassment and frustration. How dare he?! God Robert Floyd was such a prick and you weren’t giving him the opportunity to treat you like this for one more minute. Slamming your beer down on the table you stalked after him towards the door, following him out into the parking lot.

“You don’t get to just walk away from me like that asshole! I asked you a question and I want a damn answer.”

He stops short in his tracks, was busying himself with unlocking his truck when he spins around to face you.

“God you really can’t just let this shit go can you? You really want to know why?”

“Yeah I really do”

He runs his hand over his face now, malice clearly etched in his features.

And then he pulls you forward and slams his lips to yours.

You were pretty sure you were dreaming…or maybe you’d died because this certainly couldn’t be happening in real life right? Robert Floyd, bane of your existence for almost a decade had you pressed up against the side of his old GMC Sierra, thigh wedged between your legs while you ground down on him and let him lick into your mouth.

You couldn’t stop yourself if you wanted to, he felt so so good and the noises and moans the two of you were making were bordering on obscene. You thanked whatever diety was watching out for you that he had parked in a dark corner in the lot, crashing waves muffling most of the noises coming from you both. You arched your back to press closer to him and he began his descent from your jaw sucking a mark onto your neck as your hands threaded through his soft brown hair and tugged. God he was so hot, how had you never noticed he was so hot? He smelled amazing and he was an insanely good kisser, but of course you’d always thought he was perfect at everything; part of the reason he frustrates you so much if you’re honest.

He pulls back to look at you, has the gall to look smug at the fact that he’s worked you up like this and you can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Your foreheads are pressed together, and you feel him whisper against your lips

“Y/N you need to stop me now if you don’t want this, otherwise get your ass in the truck, we’re going back to my place.”

You feel so dumb right now, he’s rendered you speechless and all you can do is nod at him and slide into the bench seat of the truck. Shit, you really are about to go home and let Bob Floyd fuck you senseless.

———————————————————————

The drive isn’t long, maybe ten minutes but you can barely focus on anything but his hand on your thigh, rubbing slow circles into you, just close enough to tease but not enough to give you what you want. He pulls into the drive roughly, slamming the truck in park and yanking you out of the door, hands roaming everywhere as he tries to herd you into his little townhouse.

Once he has the door closed it’s a frenzy of teeth and tongue, pawing at each other to try and get the other naked as quickly as possible, you barely make it to his bedroom, self control non existent. He drops you down onto his mattress and you pull him forward, rubbing your body all over the length of his, desperate for any kind of relief for your aching core. He slides a hand up to press into the column of your throat as he spreads hot filthy kisses up your chest towards your mouth.

“You drive me absolutely insane, can’t even sit in the same room with you without wanting to fuck the attitude out of you, s’that what you need pretty girl? You need me to fuck you stupid?”

You can’t help but let out a pitiful moan and buck up into him, you never thought for a minute you’d be in this situation with him but now that you have him like this you know you’ll never want to do anything else.

“Tell me what you want Y/N, you’ve always got so much to say but now you can’t even string together a sentence? You poor little thing you need this so bad don’t you? All you gotta do is ask baby I’ll give it to ya.”

You close the gap between the two of you, slotting your lips against his and sliding your tongue into his mouth, rubbing your needy wet pussy all over his thigh and whining at the feeling, so good but not quite what you need.

He presses your hips down into the mattress stopping your ministrations and reaching up to catch your chin between his fingers.

“I know you heard me if you want it sugar you ask for it, I’m a patient man we can sit right here all night and I won’t touch you again until you’re begging for it.”

Chest heaving, pupils blown out full of lust and hair splayed out across his pillows he thinks you may be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, but he’s just fine teasing you until you give him what he wants.

You look up at him ready to be defiant but fail miserably, his perfect hair is a mess, glasses askew and his body feels like heaven on top of yours.

You refused to fold so easily, he’d been mouthing off at you all night so it was time he got some of it back, sliding your feet to the mattress over his thighs you flipped him onto his back on the mattress, your manicured fingers gripping his chin, forcing him to look at you.

“You’re so bossy Bobby, maybe you’re the one who needs to be fucked stupid hmm? I wonder if any of those little tag chasers you’ve brought home have ever taken control of you like I can? Think you can keep your pretty mouth shut and follow orders? Lay still like a good boy and let me ride your cock?”

He blinks up at you now, he had a smart ass remark all ready to go but the second you ground your pussy down on him he was putty in your hands, couldn’t begin to articulate how hot is was to let you take the reigns, so he simply put his hands behind his head and grinned up at you.

“Go ahead baby, use me. I’ll be good for you.”

That’s all you needed, sliding him between your folds and teasing him by grinding your clit against him. He was big, and your thoughts scattered thinking about how next time you wanted him in your mouth, God you hoped there was a next time.

He had said he’d be good for you but he didn’t account for just how good it would feel, attempting to stay quiet by balling his hands into fists and biting his lip until it felt like it would break the skin.

He might go insane from this, he’s used to relinquishing control in the air, but in his intimate life he’s always demanded the upper hand, the need to be in charge overpowering the ability to submit. But here you are, stripped completely bare for him and riding him so slowly damnit he’s never been more turned on in his life. He’s not blind, you’re absolutely gorgeous; he’s seen the way guys check you out but the rivalry between you both was always so palpable it never occurred to him to want you like this.

You’re playing with your nipples and grinding into him slowly, moans spilling from your lips and Bob knows he can’t take much more of this, needs you splayed out so he can fuck you like he wants. He watches you close eyes, throwing your head back and he takes the shot, gripping you by your hips and flipping you both again. You cry out as he snaps his hips harshly into yours, grabbing at both your wrists with one of his big hands to pin them above your head, leaning in to catch your lips with his, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth. He planned to make this quick and dirty, a one time thing to get you out of his system but the more he hears your little moans and whines and kisses you while your pussy pulses around him, he lets his mind wander to how it might be to have you like this whenever he wanted, lets the domesticity of having you in his bed and his arms make him impossibly harder. Why didn’t you two get along again? He couldn’t find himself coming up with one reason that made sense as you let him abuse your pussy with his deep thrusts. You couldn’t hold a coherent thought anymore, clenching down on him after he hit that spot that had you seeing stars you suddenly gushed on his cock, surprising the two of you as he slowed his movements, slack jawed and in awe of the fact that you’d just squirted all over him.

“Jesus Christ such a good girl, pussy’s fucking drenching me” he ground out, yanking you up by your throat to suck on your tongue as you moan and gasp into his mouth, you’d never done that before for anyone; not even when you were getting yourself off and you wanted it to happen again and again. “Oh Bob” your cried out, pushing yourself down on him to meet his hips, the two of you working in tandem to please each other, somehow the situation evolving from a one night stand to something more. You knew now that you’d had a taste of him like this you’d be addicted, how could you ever be satisfied with anyone else when he was fucking you like his life depended on your pleasure?

You wrap your legs around his waist and begin to grind into him, neither of you caring much about control anymore. It feels too good and the need is so strong to chase your release. He’s pulling you close to him now, pressing your chests together and sucking a mark at the spot behind your ear, whispering praises about how good you feel, and you can’t think of anything but how beautiful he is and how badly you want him to cum for you.

You’re close again, so close to the edge and he can feel it, leans in to kiss you once more, lightly wrapping his hand around your throat. You hold his gaze as he tells you he wants to come with you, the pressure from his slender fingers restricting your airway so deliciously euphoric. You can’t say anything, too scared of the implications and the intimacy of it all so you just nod as he runs his hand between your sweat slicked bodies to rub tight circles against your clit. Black spots cloud your vision as you arch into him, calling out his name in pleasure like a prayer until you begin to go hoarse; he groans as you clench down on him and he thrusts one more time with a shout as he comes for you.

You both lay wrapped in each other, lost in thought trying to catch your breaths. All too soon he pulls out but before he heads for the bathroom he stops to push a sweaty lock back from your forehead, and you can’t help but catch his hand and kiss his wrist. He grins that stupid crooked smile at you as he makes his way to the bathroom and you collapse back into the sheets.

“Oh my fucking God” you think to yourself with a jolt; “I’m in love with Robert Floyd.”

———————————————————————-

While you come to that startling realization, Bob is having his own meltdown once he gets the bathroom closed. What the hell had he gotten himself into here?! He’d had it all planned out on the drive over, the both of you would just fuck the tension out and try your best to get along for the duration of the time you had here. He hasn’t accounted for just how good it would be, how when the time came for you to separate all he’d wanted was to wrap you in his arms and let you snuggle into him. He didn’t think he’d catch feelings.

Stepping out of the bathroom he catches you trying to shrug yourself back into your clothes, digging around for your phone in the bottom of your purse and you startle a little, straightening up and giving him a little smile.

“I uh, sorry I don’t want to be in the way so I’m just gonna grab an Uber and head home.” You look lost, not like your typical bubbly persona and his heart clenches in his chest knowing you are worried he wants you to go.

“You- you don’t have to go honey, ‘sides I think we might need to sit down and talk about all this.”

He sticks his hand out for you to take and leads you back to his bed to sit down and you take a shaky breath, trying to look anywhere but at him. He hears you whisper something, and turns your face to his hoping you’ll say it again.

“I asked you uh… what does this mean, what are we doing?” you said quietly, nervous energy radiating from you now, you’ve never felt off your axis quite like this but then you’ve also never realized you were in love with your enemy before. Was he really your enemy though? Or had he always just been out of reach? You knew you’d admired him, wished you could be friends but now- now it was something else entirely.

His expression was soft, something truly beautiful in the openness he was emanating as opposed to the wall he always put up when you were around. Taking both your hands in his he sighed, he still couldn’t quite find the words but anything was better than continuing to pretend he didn’t want this.

“I think I’ve had this all wrong y/n. I had it in my head that I hated you, that you were someone to compete against and I set myself up to be a complete asshole to you so I didn’t have to admit what it really was. Some of it was jealousy I’ll admit it but it really was so much more. I want you, more than just one night and I know, I know I have been an absolute piece of shit but if you’ll let me I’ll spend as long as you’ll let me trying to make it up you.”

You feel lightheaded, heat sending tingles up your spine and your body moves of its own volition, surging forward to kiss him. The clarity of it all is blinding, how could the two of you gone this long and not seen it? You were perfect for each other, wasted so much time riling each other up when you could have been doing this. You feel a giggle bubble up from your chest as you pull away from him now, the corners of your eyes pricking with tears as he quickly presses kisses to wipe them away.

You spend the weekend wrapped up in each other, ordering food and watching movies, letting Bob fuck you on every surface of his house and covering you in what feels like love.

————————————————————————

Monday morning he drives you back to your apartment to shower and change before work, which results in the two of you nearly being late because you can’t seem to keep your hands off of each other. Stepping into the hangar to take your seat you’re greeted to a sea of shocked faces, rather than making snide comments or cutting eyes at each other the two of you are in great spirits, even going so far as to let Bob pass you a granola bar from his pocket because he’d been two busy railing you earlier to eat breakfast.

Hangman is the first to open his mouth, because of course he can’t leave anything alone for too long. “What the hell is going on here? Is it Opposite Day or some shit? You two are being way too nice to each other and it’s freaking everyone out.”

You just grin at him and pat him on the arm, “We talked out our issues Jakey, it’s all gonna be smooth sailing from here.”

Phoenix doesn’t buy it for a second, pulling Bob over by his ear, deciding that she’ll force it out of him.

“What kind of twilight zone level bs is going on? Friday night you two were at each others throats and we didn’t see you again after that…oh my god. OH MY GOD!” She shrieks out and Bob clamps a hand over her mouth, begging God to suddenly make his best friend mute for the rest of the day, ears and cheeks turning bright red as he shushes her.

“Nat goddamnit I’ll tell you everything but I swear to God you have got to keep your shit together.”

He makes her wait until lunch, wants to be away from prying eyes and ears knowing it would spread like wildfire if the wrong person found out.

“I fucking knew it! I knew it wasn’t just some rivalry bullshit, oh my God are you guys together now? Do you love her? Ahhh this is so amazing!” She squeals as she digs into her salad, bouncing in her chair like a little kid.

“First of all I don’t know. It feels like we are, but I’m leaving that in her court. I’ll do whatever makes her happy. Second of all that’s none of your business woman let me figure this out on my own time, it’s still new. When I need a wedding planner I’ll let you know” he says with an eye roll and affectionate shove to her shoulder, he truly does love having her in his life, even if she is a serial meddler.

He catches you from across the mess hall, you were stealing fries off Jake’s plate and laughing over one of his stupid jokes. Feeling his gaze on you made you feel warm all over, you looked up at him and winked in his direction and just like that he was a goner. How had he missed out on this for so long? He’d had you on every surface in his home and he was still so insatiable, could barely hold it together when you texted asking if he could come over after work to have dinner.

———————————————————————

Pulling into your driveway after what felt like the longest day of training so far, you began to peel off your flight suit and top leaving you in just your bra and underwear, scrolling through the delivery app for something to eat when you heard him knock at the door.

You swung it open to let him in, turning on your heel to check what time the food would be in.

“I ordered from that Thai place we had lunch at a few weeks ago, got a little bit of everything so I just figured we could share.”

“That sounds like heaven baby but I think I need a snack before it gets here.”

And that’s how you ended up spread out on your kitchen island, Bob’s face buried between your thighs as he ate at you like his life depended on it. You had come undone more than once and he refused to let you go, you tasted so sweet he couldn’t get enough; lapping at you nearly had him getting off just knowing he was pleasing you. You felt too sensitive, every nerve in your body on fire but unable to stop bucking up into his face begging for him but not knowing what exactly you were asking for. He pulls back to grin up at you, beautiful blue eyes full of mischief as he lets out a chuckle at how far gone you are from just his mouth.

“Come on baby girl, give me one more, you sound so pretty I know you’ve got one more in ya. Taste so good sweetheart, I need you to cum one more time.”

He dives back in and the damn breaks as you felt your third orgasm wash over you, release soaking his face and he finally lets you up, helping you off the counter and into his arms. You felt boneless, legs trembling and barely able to stand as he kissed you, running his hands all over your body and letting you taste yourself on his tongue. You grazed your hand along the inside of his flight suit tied at his waist and he groaned deliciously into your mouth.

“Hold on baby, let’s feed you some dinner and then I’ll let you ride me ok? We’ve got lots of time to make up for but I want you to have enough energy to handle it”

He was such a cocky son of a bitch but you knew now he could back it up. You’d sat in his lap on the couch while you shared dinner, taking turns feeding each other and watching a movie. He didn’t know if he could ever let this go now, everything about you had him obsessed and despite manhandling you not even an hour ago he was nervous as hell to seek out the answers he needed. What if this was just a friends with benefits situation? He knew he’d been an absolute ass to you and couldn’t blame you if you just wanted to fuck around but he so desperately wanted more.

You’d noticed how quiet he had gotten, movie forgotten as he was spaced out lost in thought. Nudging him with your elbow you laugh at the mock annoyance on his face, he was so beautiful and you still couldn’t believe the two of you were really here now.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours Floyd? You seem like you’ve got some heavy thoughts you’re struggling with.”

“Ah- it’s nothing sugar, I just spaced I promise I’m here it’s ok.”

You don’t believe him for a second, so you decide to prod him a little more. You pull his face in with both hands and kiss his cheeks, then nose, then press a soft peck to his lips.

“I can be pretty persuasive when I want to be baby, pretty please tell me what’s wrong? You bat your eyelashes at him and he melts into a puddle. You’ve got him totally wrapped now and he’s pretty sure he’d burn the world down to keep you looking at him with that sweet look on your face.

“I know we haven’t talked much about what this is and I don’t want to pressure you but I don’t know that I can be as casual about this as I’d hoped. I’m pretty sure I’m hooked on you y/n.”

Oh shit, you were definitely swooning. Like old timey love story swooning. How had he not realized you were crazy about him too?! You wound your arms around his neck and giggled as you pressed kisses all over him.

“I’m completely and totally yours Robert Floyd, now make love to me all night. Let’s catch up on all that time we wasted being idiots when we could have been together all along.”

He had to laugh at that, the two of you really had been complete fools, he’d been an arrogant ass, too prideful to admit that you were everything he’d ever wanted. Later he’d take you apart all night if you’d let him and then bring you coffee in bed before work the next morning. Fill your car up with gas, make sure you drank enough water and love you like you’d never dreamed you could be loved. It hadn’t started as some fairytale love story but it was turning out to be something even better, something lasting. Something more.

Tagging-

@attapullman

@bobgasm

@mamachasesmayhem

@roosterforme

@pinkdaisies1106

@angelbabyyy99

@nouis-bum

@nervousnerdwitch

@mygyn

@purelyfiction

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@shanimallina87

@floydsglasses

@floydsmuse

@sailor-aviator

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

this was a lil while ago but it's been on my mind and it was rejected by actual Reddit for containing references to violence lol so it's c&p from back when this happened w a minor update but AITA for saying I'd curbstomp someone for saying the N word??

I, (27NB) attended a murder mystery birthday party back in May for a friend Annie (25F) with our mutual friends (24-28 various genders) (There was 7 of us total). We all had a pretty good time despite a lack of planning for the party and general weird vibes (Annie had been upset all day at something their partner, Sean had done).

Towards the end of the night, myself and a friend we're discussing anagrams, I believe specifically for the word "ginger", I was very drunk and did not hear the letters being spelt properly so I guessed the word was "Rigger". The other party goers conversations were coming to a natural end so they joined in mine and my friend's convo. Upon hearing me say "rigger" and pulling a face when I realised what exacty the bad word was my friend was referencing was, Sean then said "Oh it's (n word)!". Another friend, Betty did not hear what they said and asked them to repeat in, which they did loudly. The whole party stopped for a moment. At this point I think I fucked up because I was immediately shocked and said "You can't say that!" and then they said "what, (n word)?" and repeated it another time. I made a comment saying I believed the only person in the friend group to be racist was Dan. I've since privately apologised to Dan for this comment as I don't think Dan is racist at all, and Dan has accepted that apology.

Pretty much immediately after that everyone started making plans to leave, within five minutes cabs were called. Everyone left the room leaving me and Sean alone. I think this is also where I fucked up, I approached them and said they cannot say that word, it's not theirs to say etc, in which they just kept repeating "I'll use that word if I want to". (edit from months later: apparently Betty's boyfriend was in the room and didnt like do anything and just watched this play out). At this point I was pretty much blackout drunk and threatened to curb stomp them if they carried on. Betty came in and diffused the situation and took me home. Betty says myself and Sean were stood very close to each other but I was visibly drunk and stumbling and clearly was in no shape to carry through with the threat (Sean is also significantly larger than me in height and weight so I don't think even sober I would be able to land a punch, not that I want to).

Betty filled me in on a lot of these details the day after as I didn't remember a lot but apparently afterwards I tried to be extremely friendly to Sean and sort out plans for us to hangout this week, something I obviously won't be following through on. (edit: we haven't spoken to each other at all since this)

I messaged Annie on the sunday to wish her a happy birthday(edit: the party took place on the Friday iirc) and she also told me what happened (she was not present for any of this as she went to bed early at the party, feeling sick) undoubtedly hearing only Sean's side of the story. Knowing it's her birthday and I didn't want to bother her with drama I just said maybe their partner shouldn't of said what they said, and she stated after having a mild go for me for threatening to curb stomp her partner that she can't weigh in. So I stopped speaking about it to her and just forwarded her some videos I took from that night (silly videos, one of her blowing out her birthday candles, etc) and she replied saying thanks.

I've messaged Sean saying we need to talk about what happened and basically said while I'm sorry for it happening in their house during Annie's birthday party, I'm not sorry for calling out thag disgusting behaviour. Betty and another friend, Jack have both said I was well within my right to kick off like that, and that I was clearly not going to follow through with any threats, and Sean was wrong to not only say the words multiple times but then to double down when called out both in front of everyone and privately. But i have doubts since it was a birthday party and perhaps saying I'd curb stomp them is a bit much. I don't recall myself being particularly angry while shouting at them but they've said they definitely felt threatened by me and put off on talking to me.

I also find it odd they feel so threatened by me/find this behaviour of mine odd as I have reacted a similar way (less aggressive) when Annie was also racist in front of me, Betty and Sean. I've also spent the last two weeks meeting with Sean, bankrolling and planning this birthday party with absolutely no issue (i don't think a birthday person should plan/pay for their own party and Sean is unemployed) and we've had fun! We joked around a lot and I feel like I'm pretty open about being too weak to throw a punch but always ready to fight (like a chihuahua). I even came over early to help set up for the party, because I liked spending time with them. So for them to feel threatened by me is such an odd feeling. I also feel uncomfortable in the fact that Annie and Sean feel comfortable saying slurs in front of me. The whole friend group feels weird about this situation, no one really knows what to say.

(edit: ok this is where the original post ended but there's still some drama) so the day after I called Sean(with consent, to talk) but Anne picked up and said she would speak on Sean's behalf and I was on speakerphone. He did not apologise (neither did Anne) and Anne defended his behaviour pretty heavily. her/both of their's resolution was for Sean to just not say the N word around me. I obviously said that's still incredibly fucking racist and I don't want to be friends with racists? I cut them off after the phone call and said I'd like the money back I spent on the party from Sean. Anne ended up paying it back two months later when I politely brought it up at another friend's birthday.

Betty and her boyfriend still hang out with Sean and Anne and seem to be pretty good friends with them. Betty mentions Anne to me fairly often and all I say is why are you friends with a racist and then she goes quiet. Everyone still maintains I'm the asshole that ruined the friend group and I still feel pretty insecure about what happened. I don't think I should've threatened violence but they all say "chat shit get hit". so idk. AITA? sorry for how long this is lmao

What are these acronyms?

[blueiones]

Yandere! Loser × Male! Council President! Reader

It became a little messy towards the end but oh well. Hope you enjoy.

Blood splattered on the cold concrete floor of the back of the school. He couldn't see, too scared to get wrecked in the face if he removed his arms because of the bullies violence. The smell of smoke made him recoil in disgust while the laughter directed to him made the pits of his stomach churn with anxiety and fear.

That's when he heard you.

The voice was distorted, the ringing in his ears didn't stop. He could only make out one thing. You carefully pried his arms away from his face, revealing your blurred silhouette.

He was out after that.

-

The first thing his senses picked up was the smell of disinfectant alcohol. Next it was the soft bed and the blanket, but there was something wrapped around him beside that, it was a black leather jacket which smelled like an expensive cologne.

Then he heard you, again.

Only this time it was your soft snoring. He glanced at you, sitting on a chair beside his bed. He checked the clock, it was already past 5pm. School ended two hours ago, why stay with him instead? He thought curiously.

The door opened revealing the face of the kind nurse he knew due to the frequent trips to the infirmary.

"Oh you're awake! Thank goodness, we were about to call the hospital if you didn't wake up later." She said softly.

"Oh…" was the only thing he could muster at the moment as he fidgeted with his calloused hands. He couldn't help glance again at the person sleeping peacefully on the chair.

He then unconsciously started studying your face. He recognized you, the Council President. But he only noticed you now, the slightly toned arms of yours from work out most likely, the long eyelashes most girls would be jealous of and… how beautiful you looked.

The nurse looked at him then at you and smiled. "He wanted to keep you warm."

"Pardon?"

She continued, "The blankets here are too thin, he was worried you'd wake up cold." She pointed at the leather jacket which kept him warm. "I'll inform your teacher, just wait here for a second." She left after that, leaving him with you.

He looked back at you. Your eyes slowly fluttered open, your eyes locked with him.

"Mornin'."

-

The walk to his house was silent, it was six o'clock by now. He was able to come home a little later due to explaining what happened to his teacher. He had the go signal to come home with someone, it was you again.

It was awkward, but oddly comforting.

He finally stopped by infront of his house, the footsteps behind him did the same. He turned around to meet your face and quietly said, "Thank you." He bolted to his door after that leaving you alone in the street. You contemplated on going after him but later decided not to.

-

A week passed, the bullies were expelled. After what felt like years, he was finally able to breathe properly, with no one hissing on his neck about how pathetic and stupid he was.

The next time you approached him it was during lunch time.

Another tray of food was placed in front of his tray. He looked up and saw your calm expression, while you sat down in the opposing seat. He was flabbergasted, he looked at you questionably and looked around to see your usual group of friends having the same face but decided not to interfere.

"My name is M/N. I wanted to know if you're doing well now." You said.

His heart hammered through his chest and suddenly he could hear his own breathing, his hands were cold against the metal spoon and fork he was holding. He gulped and found the courage to speak, "I-I'm doing… well enough." He flinched at his own voice and looked up at you cautiously. He relaxed when he saw your patient expression.

Then you smiled. It wasn't malicious. And it was directed at him.

"That's good."

Then you looked at your food and ate.

He did the same thing, only this time he smiled as well.

-

It became a routine.

And he loved it.

You became closer as weeks went by. Despite your busy schedule you made time for him. It wasn't only lunch too. You hung out with him after school, even when he tried refusing at first because he was afraid he would get in your way, "I can do that later, you're more important." He stopped trying after that.

He thought it would stop as being just friends.

But couldn't help the feeling of annoyance when someone talked to you during your time with him. It pissed him off greatly especially when some girls did it, the small tucking of their hair, the nervous and smiley way they talked to you. He hated it. He knew what that meant, and it didn't help the fact that you were oblivious to their intentions, so he had to whisk you away at times with a provided excuse to the girls.

He imagined torturing those poor girls in his dreams.

He didn't realize it at first.

When he started guilt tripping you with tears when you had to go home, in which you always felt bad so you'd spent more time with him. It came to the point where you practically moved in with him.

He took advantage of you kindness.

It made him feel giddy, you had your own clothes and uniform in his closet. Had your own toothbrush, slept beside him and everything.

He'd love it the most when he wakes up before you just so he could admire you, who slept so peacefully unaware of his wandering eyes.

He soon realized it.

He loved you.

He frowned, did you love him too? It… didn't matter. As long as you stayed with him, everything would be fine.

He smiled, snuggling closer to you, who became half awake and wrapped your arms around him pressing him closer to your chest. He smiled wider, lovesick eyes peered at you with an unsettling amount of obsession.

'Everything would be fine.'

[angrybell]

An Israeli author was supposed to appear and give a talk about her books at the Pushkin House, part of the University of London. It was due to occur on . With the date approaching the people at Pushkin House sent the following to Ms. Rubina.

Good afternoon, Dina

The Pushkin House advertised our upcoming discussion on social media and immediately received critical messages regarding your position on the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. They would like to understand your position on this issue before reacting in any way.

Could you formulate your position and send it to me as soon as possible?”

Natalia! “

Ms. Rubina responded with the following open letter.

An OPEN LETTER

from Dina Rubina

“Dear Natalia!

You have written beautifully about my novels; I am very sorry for the time you have wasted. But it seems we’ll have to cancel our meeting. The University of Warsaw and the University of Torun have just cancelled lectures by the remarkable Israeli Russian-speaking writer Yakov Shechter on the life of Jews in Galicia in the 17th and 19th centuries – “to avoid aggravating the situation”. I suspected that this would also happen to me, because now the academic environment is the main nursery of the most disgusting and rabid anti-Semitism, hiding behind the so-called “criticism of Israel”. I was expecting something like this, and even sat down three times to write you a letter on the subject… but I decided to wait, and so I have waited.

That’s what I want to say to all those who expect from me a quick and obsequious account of my position on my beloved country, which now (and always) lives in a circle of ardent enemies who seek its destruction; on my country, which is now waging a just patriotic war against a violent, ruthless, deceitful and sophisticated enemy:

The last time in my life I apologised in the headmaster’s office, in the ninth grade. Since then, I have done what I think is right, listening only to my conscience and expressing only my understanding of the world order and human laws of justice.

And so on.

I’m really sorry, Natalia, for your efforts and the hope that you could “cook something with me” – something that everyone will like.

Therefore, I ask you personally to send my reply to all those who are interested:

On Saturday 7 October, the Jewish holiday of Simchat Torah, the ruthless, well-trained, carefully prepared and perfectly equipped with Iranian weapons Hamas terrorist regime ruling the Gaza enclave (which Israel left some 20 years ago) attacked dozens of peaceful kibbutzim and simultaneously pelted the territory of my country with tens of thousands of rockets. Atrocities that even the Bible cannot describe, atrocities and horrors that make the crimes of Sodom and Gomorrah pale in comparison (captured, by the way, by the frontal and chest cameras of the murderers themselves and boastfully sent by them in real time to the Internet), can shock any normal person. For several hours, thousands of gleeful, blood-drunk animals raped women, children and men, shot their victims in the crotch and in the head, cut off women’s breasts and played football with them, cut babies out of the bellies of pregnant women and immediately beheaded them, tied up small children and burned them. There were so many charred and completely burnt bodies that for many weeks the pathologists could not cope with the enormous burden of identifying individuals.

My friend, who worked in a New York hospital waiting room for 20 years and then spent another 15 years in Israel identifying remains, was one of the first to arrive in the burned and blood-soaked kibbutzim with a group of rescuers and medics… She still can’t sleep. A medic used to cutting up bodies – she fainted from what she saw and then vomited all the way back to the car. What these people have seen is beyond words.

Together with the Hamas fighters, the “civilian population” rushed into the holes in the fence, joined the pogroms on an unprecedented scale, robbed, killed and dragged whatever they could get their hands on into Gaza. Among these “peaceful Palestinians” were 450 members of the UN’s UNRWA scum. Everyone was there, and judging by the stormy total joy of the population (also captured in these inconvenient times by hundreds of mobile cameras) – there were a lot of people – Hamas supports and approves, at least before the real fighting starts, of almost the entire population of Gaza… The main problem: our residents were dragged into the beast’s lair, more than two hundred of them, including women, children, the elderly and non-essential foreign workers. About a hundred of them are now rotting and dying in the Hamas dungeons. Needless to say, these harassed victims are of little concern to the “academic community”.

But that’s not what I’m talking about. I am not writing this to make anyone sympathise with the tragedy of my people.

For all these years, when the world community has literally poured hundreds of millions of dollars into this piece of land (the Gaza Strip) – and the annual budget of the UNRWA organisation alone is a BILLION dollars! – All these years, Hamas has used this money to build an empire of the most complex underground tunnel system, to stockpile weapons, to teach primary school children how to dismantle and reassemble a Kalashnikov assault rifle, to print textbooks in which the hatred of Israel defies description, in which even the maths problems go like this: “There were ten Jews, Shahid killed four, how many are left?” – with every word calling for the murder of Jews.

And now that Israel, shocked at last by the monstrous crime of these bastards, is waging a war to destroy the Hamas terrorists, who have prepared this war so carefully, planting thousands of shells in all the hospitals, schools, kindergartens… – here the academic world of the whole world has risen up, worried about the “genocide of the Palestinian people”, based, of course, on data provided by… who? That’s right, by the same Hamas, by the same UNRWA… The academic community, which was not concerned about the massacres in Syria, the massacre in Somalia, the mockery of the Uighurs or the millions of Kurds persecuted for decades by the Turkish regime – this very concerned public, wearing “Arafat” around their necks, the trademark of the murderers, rallies under the banners “Free Palestine from the river to the sea! – which means the total destruction of Israel (yes, many of these “academics”, as surveys show, have no idea where this river is, what it is called, where some borders are…). – Now this very public asks me to “take a clear position on this issue”.

Are you serious?! Are you serious?!!

You see, I’m a writer by profession. All my life, for more than fifty years, I have been folding words. My novels have been translated into 40 languages, including Albanian, Turkish, Chinese, Esperanto… and many others.

Now, with great pleasure, without using too many expressions, I sincerely and with all the strength of my soul send all the brainless “intellectuals” interested in my position to the ASS. In fact, very soon you will all be there without me”.

Dina Rubina

[sadstrever]

i’m still 114lbs. i feel sick. yesterday was an awful day, i came home and had an out of body chew and spit session. i wish there was more research on this part of ed’s, or just more people who talked about it because i can’t be alone in this. i refuse to believe i’m the only sick person who does disgusting shit like this. anyways the reason why i call it an out of body experience is because it’s almost like binging-just without all the swallowing of food. i came home and immediately started doing it and filled up 1 and 1/2 2 liter bottles with food. i spent 5 hours doing this without even realizing and pretty much emptied out my whole families fridge. the guilt i felt afterwards was worse than a binge in my opinion. not only did i totally waste SO MUCH food, make a huge mess, ended up with disgusting bottles of mush in my room, i also have to face the consequences of my family coming home to an empty fridge. but when they got home they were happy that i “ate.” god i’m such a fucking piece of shit.

anyways after all that i took 4 laxatives to try and get the guilt of wasting the food out of me. i woke up in the morning today in terrible pain but still had to go to class, cuz what am i supposed to tell my parents? “yeah i haven’t eaten in almost a month and basically just threw all the food we have out in the trash and i also took 4 laxatives, can i please stay home tehe?” so i went to 1 class and ended up leaving because the pain was so excruciating. straight from class i went to the gym and somehow burnt 900 calories because i guess that’s what guilt does to me. i had to take the bus 2 hours home afterwards(bus delays and i went to a new further gym location this time), high out of my mind. i’m home now and my stomach hurts but the laxatives finally did their job. i don’t want to keep doing this. 4 years ago i said i’d recover and then i didn’t. since then i’ve forgotten about recovery (with the exception of a few random moments here and there that i block out immediately), i am so used to living in this fucking misery that i didn’t realize how abnormal my reality is. i don’t want to be a bad person anymore. but i can’t stop lol.

this is what bothers me about the girls who romanticize this disorder SO MUCH, when much of the time they haven’t realized how difficult it can become. i know i’ve done this, even now sometimes as a coping mechanism. but man, i’m sick of it.

i have a friend who writes poetry and she wrote a poem about eating disorders that make me so fucking angry. the thing is, i’ve known her for years and she’s always had the best relationship with food out of most of the people i know. she’s naturally pretty thin(not too thin but normal) and she’s very open about her struggles. i know every single one of her stories, i know she’s diagnosed with adhd. that’s HER disorder, that i don’t understand so i DONT write fucking POETRY about it. a few months ago she kind of forced me into opening up about my eating disorder. after i did, suddenly she started writing these stories about her eating disorder-very very very suspiciously similar to mine. i obviously didn’t tell her everything but i told her about how long this has been going on and just my emotions about it. seeing her start to adapt my fucking disorder into her poetry disgusted me. she glamorized the fuck out of it and made me feel so stupid for ever opening up about it. she’s naturally skinny so she got a bunch of support from our friend group from it and i’m just upset man. i’m sick of living in misery while other people can use the idea of living in pain for attention.

i promised my best friend that in 3 weeks i’ll go back to therapy and try my best to recover. it’s not true. man it’s never fucking true. it’s never fucking over. unlike ms.deep-poetry-girl i can’t just fucking write this and log off and then eat a good warm meal and talk to my parents without them mentioning my body. i can’t wake up tomorrow morning and hug them without worrying that they’re gonna feel my bones. i can’t wear shorts anymore without people noticing the bruises. i can’t go to school and keep my focus because i have nothing to feed my brain. i can’t let anyone get close because soon enough they’ll be just like YOU. OR they’ll hate me for not wanting to get better. i can’t love myself like you do because of the disgusting things i do each day. i can’t wake up thinner and suddenly stop hating myself. FUCK YOUUUUUUUU GOD IM SO SICK OF IT GOD. whatever im done. just sick and tired.

[vladdyissues]

It's so cute that you uploaded some puffy, you're so kind 😭💞

But I have a question, why did they even block his account? How does Tumblr block an account? He didn't upload anything bad [?]

To the best of my knowledge—and I say this because I did not see every single one of Puffy's posts—Puffy did everything that Tumblr requires when it comes to posting "mature" artwork. She tagged her posts, used Community Labels, cropped and/or censored thumbnails, and made use of the "Read More" option. She was bolder than me when it came to posting certain art styles and speaking unabashedly, but that's a difference in personality. Puffy is a free spirit, incredibly witty, and absolutely hilarious. I'm old and crotchety and try to avoid drama if I can help it—not to say that Puffy in any way invited or deserved termination. She did not.

But she was no match for a targeted mass-reporting campaign. And, unfortunately, there's no way to know just how many people were involved or how much harassment she's been receiving since she joined Tumblr. I know there were at least three asks, likely more, and one rude comment left on one of her artworks early on.

But Tumblr has a poor track record when it comes to making decisions and meting out justice. They don't typically perform thorough investigations, they panic when they see certain words, and they're also prone to outrageous hypocrisy—like the fact that gifs of graphic, live-action porn somehow still manage to survive on this site after 10 years and a purge that cost the company a billion dollars in value, and how they claim to be "the queerest place on the internet" while simultaneously alienating and fostering a hostile environment for the queer artists who are largely responsible for Tumblr's success. Porn and spam bots run amok, but the blogs of marginalized people and artists are first on the chopping block.

I myself have had blogs deleted for lesser reasons. A couple years ago I created a "ship week" event blog, which was deleted simply because at one point in the TV show, one of the characters in the ship was a minor. The blog posted G-rated prompts. It was text-based with completely worksafe header graphics. It didn't endorse any age ranges, but left that up to the discrimination of the participants. The participants complied with Tumblr's TOS if they posted 18+ content, cropping images, using Community Labels and such. Everything adhered strictly to Tumblr's guidelines.

But I was the target for a lot of hatred from the rest of the fandom. They hated my guts because I shipped "the wrong ship"—because it was a gay ship, because it upset the canon heterosexual ship that one of the characters was in, because I wasn't sniveling in fear whenever they sent me hateful asks, because I refused to be bullied or shamed. They went after us because we were a tiny group of fans, easy to target and eradicate. Disgusting behavior, really.

I tried to appeal the deletion, but I never heard back from Tumblr. Fine. I moved the event to another platform (and it looked much better there, too), and that was that.

In short, Tumblr would rather delete a hundred innocent blogs out of fear of offending their ad sponsors rather than 1) investigate the claims made against the blog, or 2) give the blog owner a chance to delete the offending content.

One final thing:

Last month, around 17 June 2024, several Pompep fans on Tumblr received anywhere between 1-3 anonymous asks telling us to kill ourselves or "get raped".

Over cartoon characters.

It's a sad state of things when there's more sympathy, respect and agency given to drawings of fictional lines than living, breathing people.

[elektrischemaidchen]

Lisztober #15: Hymn to the moon

You want Liszt x Chopin Thirst? Here we go! So, according to your poll result, we're going back to where we all originally came from. And that feels soooo good. :)

This song was originally based on the famous-infamous story about Mary Pleyel, who got hooked up  by Franz in Chopin's flat, while Chip-Chip was travelling. And how fitting that @dinapiss posted this great fanart a few days ago...really at the same time I was listening to a German podcast, ‘Klassik für Klugscheisser’, in which the two presenters asked to tell them exactly what traces of this night of love Chopin had found in his flat (I mean... come on,...it certainly wasn't a garter, you little unspoilt snowflakes.)

In our song, Franz thinks of Chopin while Pleyel (or an unknown girl, you decide) sleeps besides him, after a long night of… well...  I also liked the idea of the sun and the moon so much that I just took it a step further, @chopinski-official

But this time we didn't want to write another sexy-hexy-funny-funny-piece, we tried to convey a real desperate desire. Besides, I've definitely been listening to too much ‘Empires’ by Ari Mason in the last few weeks (Damn, so good, I really wish it was ours).

So, let's lie down next to @franzliszt-official again and see what happens. Morning already has begun. ;)

Comfy squad! Honestly, guys, it's been a rocky road to get here. Not that I haven't enjoyed the last few days (my colleagues only partially, who cares.) And now a lot of cudos to you!

We love all your fanart, your fanfiction, your RPG chats...everything, it's the real shit. That's why we're here on tumblr. And while the other social media world out there - just like the real world - sinks into agitation and disgust, the world here is like warm bunny slippers on a grey rainy day with a little rainbow breaking through. I've had my main profile here for over 10 years and it has really saved me through some madness (but also plunged me into another) This is written to you with love by a group of reallife Tina Belchers,  and (former?) cosplayers. <3

Her wet sweat Still sticks to my chest The scratches on my arms The marks of her lust She holds An empty glass Clutched, tight in her hand And while she sleeps The moonlight paints Long shadows on the wall And I ask myself Can you sleep Wherever you are While my longing Eats my soul? When will we meet again? I, the sun You, the moon Which is so calm and thoughtful Enthroned above all Enthroned above all She stood in your shirt Smiling in the doorway She has A very strange... Intuition for desire Her perfume hangs so piercing In the air of the room But I  search inside the pillows Desperately for your scent She has long since forgiven me That I aspirated your name I can't remember hers Just wanted to escape the loneliness Our lips met Like two drowning persons There's fire in her cheeks But her thighs are so pale When shall we meet again? I,the sun You, the moon Which is so calm and thoughtful Enthroned above all Enthroned above all Your fingers roam aimlessly Over my belly The flavour of her mouth Heavy with wine and smoke My breath in her hair I caressed her back God, please damn me And her own pleasures delight The days go by so Quickly The nights, they are empty And in the far distance Don’t  you know What I am missing? When will we meet again? I, the sun You, the moon Which is so calm and thoughtful Enthroned above all Enthroned above all She said can be for me Whatever I want And I, I secretly wish She'd finally be quiet And she asks After she just woke up Did you miss me And I nod Even though it's the biggest lie Of all...

[book-place]

All in the Personality

Warnings: panic attacks, cursing, slight violence (and implied), mentions of killing, bullying, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: James Potter x reader platonic, Sirius Black x reader platonic, Remus Lupin x reader platonic

Requests: hi! i miss her oneshots of the marauders, so... i would like to make a request where the reader is being the victim of mean comments, but not about her appearance but about her personality (since she is more introverted, anxious and awkward compared to the boys) and she just ends up hiding it from them, but one day they find out and it all comes out (I'll leave the way in which this happens open to you). maybe a little angst but with a lot of fluff at the end? <3

Hey, if you don't mind lol I have a request :)) Well, I have a lot of ideas about platonic relationships with the Marauders, and, well, one of them would involve the guys helping a female reader who suffers from social anxiety, and after being put in a situation that ends up giving her an anxiety attack, they try to help the reader with this. Rather angst and fluff I guess lol ps: I really love your platonic oneshots and I'm glad they reached me here from Brazil <3 (sorry if my english is bad, it's not my first language lol)

Requests by: Anons

*not my gif*

Summary: You could always count on your best friends, even in the worst situations

A/N: Hi :)

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

Their jeers reached your ears long before they took a hold of your shoulder and spun you around, sending your books flying in every which direction. You had just hoped that if you ignored their comments, then they would let you get to your class without any further problems.

How wrong you had been.

You looked up with wide eyes at the group of Ravenclaws that sneered down at you, shaking slightly under the grasp of the oldest boy who was yet to let go of your shoulder.

“I was talking to you,” He hissed, eyes narrowing as he looked you up and down in disgust, “And it’s rude to ignore people when they speak.”

A couple weeks ago, this sixth year group of Ravenclaws decided to make it their mission to make your fifth year a living hell.

They would taunt and laugh at you, talking about how they noticed the way that you were so different from your best friends and they would tell you how they were probably trying to ditch you.

You, of course, knew that wasn’t at all true because you were a marauder, same as James, Remus, and Sirius, and they never would have let you be one and they never would have pretended to be friends with you. They weren’t cruel.

Sure, you weren’t as loud or outgoing as they were. In fact, you were anxious and awkward around others, sometimes even having panic attacks, but they didn’t mind- never had- in fact, they would always help you in anyway that they could.

This group of bullies was beginning to wear you down, though. Their comments were relentless and they never once gave you a moment to breathe- unless you were with any of your friends, of course.

You didn’t tell the rest of the marauders about it either, not wanting to worry them or add something else to their already full plates to have to deal with, so you kept this one- not so little- thing to yourself.

The only reason that you weren’t with them right now was because they had woken up late and asked you to go ahead and tell the professor that they were going to be to class soon, which you were more than happy to do for them.

The boy finally let go of you with a small shove on the shoulder, sending you stumbling back a couple of steps into the empty hallway, “Merlin, you’re so pathetic,” He curled his lip.

The five other students behind him began to let out hyena-like laughter, doubling over while holding their stomachs as if he just said the funniest thing in the world.

Their howling was high pitched and never ending, like a ringing in your ears that never went away.

Before you knew it, your hands, then legs, then whole body had begun shaking and the lights got too bright and their laughter too loud and extremely overwhelming.

You fell ungracefully against the nearest wall and sank down to the floor with your knees to your chest as you rocked back and forth.

It was another panic attack.

Their giggles and chuckles only grew louder at your clearly distressed state, and only stopped when an all too familiar voice boomed from down the hallway, “Hey!”

You didn’t even have the strength to look up at James’s clearly furious voice, nor at the thundering sounds of steps making their way over to where you were.

The laughter had ceased and you were finally able to peel your eyes open the slightest bit to see the group of Ravenclaws that had once been standing menacingly over you, now backed into a corner cowering.

Remus, Sirius, and James stood in a protective wall in front of you with glares that could kill and their wands grasped in white knuckled grips.

“Get the fucking hell out of here before I curse you all into next year,” Remus hissed out dangerously.

“But she-“ One of the Ravenclaw girls tried to cry out.

“Get out!” Sirius bellowed, looking like he was about to pounce at any moment.

With that, they all scurried away with pale faces and sweat running down their foreheads, not once slowing their paces, even after they rounded the closest corner and were out of sight.

Immediately, all three boys turned on their heels and rushed over to your still panic stricken form as you took shaky deep breaths in order to try and get air to your lungs.

“N/n, n/n,” Remus called out gently, sinking down next to you and taking your shaking hand in his steady one before placing both against his heart, “Follow my breathing, follow my breathing.” He instructed.

James and Sirius stood guard, glaring down the empty hallway in case anyone was to try and come down it.

After a few moments, your breathing was finally able to go back to normal and your shaking had subsided throughout your entire form.

You gulped in a deep breath, dropping your head against the wall behind you, “T-thank you,” You said after a moment to all three boys, who were watching you with worried expressions.

“Are you alright?” James asked right away, dropping down beside you and rubbing your back, “What did they do?”

“I swear to Merlin, I will kill them-“ Sirius’s furious roar was cut off by Remus’s harsh glare.

“That’s not gonna help right now, Pads.” He told the boy sternly.

“They…” You contemplated for a moment whether or not to tell them the truth, before ultimately deciding that they didn’t deserve to be lied to after what they just did for you, “They’ve been picking on me for a while,” You admitted in a whisper, averting your eyes from all three of them, “And it’s been about how I’m so different from you guys and they noticed, and they talked about how we were only friends because you guys felt bad for me-“

“Wait, hold on, that’s not at all true,” Remus breathed out with wide eyes.

You nodded your head, “I know that, but it just got to be too much today and I guess it kind of triggered a panic attack,” You let out a deep breath, “I don’t know what I would have done if you guys weren’t here.”

James quickly brought you into a side hug, holding onto you tightly as he exchanged looks over your head with the other two, looks that promised revenge on those kids. But for now, their main focus was you.

“I wish you had told us,” Sirius fell down onto the ground in front of you, running a hand through his hair.

“I just didn’t want to worry any of you,” You whispered.

Remus squeezed your shoulder, “We always want you to come to us if something like this happens. We could have helped you take care of it sooner.”

“Now, come on,” Sirius groaned, standing up and stretching, “I don’t know about you lot, but I don’t feel like going to class anymore. Let’s go down to the kitchens instead.”

You giggled, accepting his outstretched hand, “That sounds good,” You told them honestly.

My Little Bit of Magic 🧙- @your-local-questioning-agender @its-hell @i-writes-things @etanordoesbullsh1t

[orionsstory]

that kind of devotion can't be ignored | Anarcia (5)

A/N: did not intend to drop this today but !! surprise! also happy birthday to my dog :) don't forget to check it out on ao3!

-

"So, long story short she broke up with me because I forgot to text her for like, 26 hours! That's not even that long!"

"Amethyst, that's like a whole ass day. It was also the 3rd time that week."

Amethyst rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at Robin. "So what! I said I was a bad texter! Everyone knows that!" She retorted, gathering the four mugs from the kitchen and carefully balancing them in her arms. She made her way to the living room, setting the mugs in front of the other three girls gathered in the living room.

"I don't know, I think I'm on Robin's side. If a girl didn't text me for 26 hours, I'd think she's ghosting me." Luxx added in, Amethyst rolling her eyes at the other girl dramatically.

"That's because you're on your phone all the time! Come on Marcia, you get what I'm saying, right?"

Marcia gave her a pity smile, sending the other two girls into a fit of laughter, Amethyst faked hurt as she dramatically collapsed onto the chair. "No one understands me!" She whined, "She still has my glitter pen...I miss it."

"You know, for someone whose job is to answer phones all day, you kind of suck at answering yours." Robin hummed, sipping on her drink. "But that was a month ago, you gotta move on girl. What about that bass player from Peacock's? Didn't you say she was hot?"

Robin worked as a designer alongside Luxx, the two first meeting when they interned for the brand together back in college. Her black curly hair was tied into a ponytail with two thin braids framing her face, dressed in a white, long-sleeve crop top and baggy cargo pants. Robin was the most put-together of the friend group, she was ambitious and knew what she wanted, something Marcia found very admirable about her.

"Yeah, she was hot, but she's fucking my ex, so like..." Amethyst shrugged in response.

Amethyst was another one of Luxx's coworkers, an aspiring popstar who worked as a secretary for the brand in the meantime. She and Robin had been friends since high school, so when Luxx and Robin bonded on their internships, the group of four seemed to naturally come together and have been inseparable since. Her curly blonde hair fell just past her shoulder, and her bright and eccentric Y2K style was evident from the apartment decor and her clothes- today, a bright orange sweater and a pair of cow print pants.

"That hasn't stopped you before." Luxx cut in, causing Amethyst to groan. "Seriously girl, you need to get laid."

"Oh please, you're one to talk." Amethyst retorted back, Luxx raising her eyebrow in confusion. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! Robin and I agree you and Irene need to get it over with and just hate fuck already! Like oh my god!"

Marcia watched as Luxx's face changed from one of confusion to one of disgust in a near instant. She almost choked on her drink from surprise. "WHAT? You can't be serious. Irene?" She looked between the two girls, her tone dripping with disgust. "Robin, you can't be serious. I'd expect this from Amy, but not you!"

Robin shrugged as Luxx's eyes bore into her, "I think it would help your relationship. You two argue all the time, and I, for one, would like some peace and quiet around the office." She turned away from Luxx, who was rendered speechless from shock, to address Marcia, "Marsh, how much have you heard about Irene?"

Marcia paused for a moment, recounting all the times she'd heard of Irene. "Well, now that you mention it, Luxx you do talk about her almost every day-"

"MARSHALL!" Luxx interrupted, "I'm hurt! We argue all the time because she's insufferable, she's always making these little comments to rile me up!" Luxx briefly paused before she continued, "Let me be clear. I would not fuck her if she were the last person on this Earth. If she offered me a million dollars I wouldn't." Luxx flipped her hair behind her, crossing her arms as she huffed. Marcia giggled, ignoring the glare Luxx sent her.

"She told me she teases you because she likes to get a rise out of you," Amethyst chimed in, "I told her the same thing I told you, and she might have rolled her eyes at me, but she didn't say no!"

Luxx rolled her eyes and sighed, "Whatever, it's not happening in ten million years. Why are we so focused on me all of a sudden? What about you Robin? You have any exciting escapades lately?"

"Well," Robin hummed, sipping her drink, "I've met a very nice woman. But we're taking it slow, some nice classy dates, I wanna give it some time before we make it official."

Amethyst rolled her eyes, "She's lying. She's fucking whipped for Aura."

Luxx and Marcia both ooohed at the name drop, looking back towards Robin.

"How do you know her name? And I am not whipped, that's such a lie."

"Well, I met her when I was in the kitchen having a snack, it was midnight and you kicked the poor girl out. The second time it happened, I thought I should at least know her name if this was going to be a regular occurrence. Plus, you were baking her cupcakes a few days ago- you're down bad for her, you can't lie to me!"

Robin blushed, "Oh. Well, maybe we weren't as sneaky as I thought..."

"Aura's great though," Amethyst continued, "super strong, by the way. Like I think she's a bodybuilder or something. I made her move my giant mirror, you guys know the one, so she gets a pass in my book."

Marcia smiled, "Well that's great Robin! I'm happy for you, she sounds super sweet! We'll have to meet her sometime, preferably when Amy isn't using her for manual labor."

"Yeah, she sounds great, but..." Luxx smirked, "I have to ask...is she better than Amethyst?"

Amethyst and Robin both groaned, drowning out Luxx's cackling. "Oh my god, we dated for like two weeks when we were 14!" Amethyst huffed, playfully swatting at Luxx. "You'll never let us live that down, are you? I should have never told you." Robin rolled her eyes, sighing.

"Oh, come on Luxx- we've all had questionable crushes before!" Marcia laughed, growing a bit more nervous when Luxx shot her a mischievous smile.

"Oh, like the one you have on your 'one true soulmate', Lotus?"

Marcia's face burned bright red as Amy and Robin whipped their attention towards her. There was only a moment of silence before the other girls began to bombard her with questions, Luxx laughing the entire time. The girls continued to bombard her with questions, which caused her to blush more, which only amped up their energy.

"Guys, guys! Give her a chance to speak! She can't tell you about this mystery woman if you guys keep bombarding her."

Marcia sighed with relief as the two backed off, looking at her expectantly. She composed herself before she spoke, "Well, Luxx is being dramatic...I didn't say she was my 'one true soulmate', but-"

"Marshall that is such bullshit, you literally burst through the apartment telling me you had found the love of your life."

Marcia's face grew red, followed by laughter from Amethyst and Robin. "Okay, maybe I did. In my defense, I had a lot of adrenaline! But anyways, Lotus is this local superhero, she's super strong and sweet...she's also really hot."

"So how'd you guys meet? Come on, spill!" Amethyst prompted, bouncing her leg in excitement.

Marcia recounted the story to the two girls in front of her, from her attempted kidnapping to Lotus (literally) sweeping her off of her feet. Robin leaned back in her chair, "So you don't know her identity?" Marcia shook her head, "No...not yet at least. But we didn't meet that long ago, so it doesn't feel too important right now." Robin nodded.

"So how do you even talk to her? Do you send up, like, the bat signal when you want to talk to her?" Amethyst asked, Marcia rolled her eyes and laughed. "No, no, it's nothing like that. I have to message her friend whenever I want to see her. And yes, I already stalked through her entire social media and haven't seen anyone that looks like her."

Amethyst hummed, "I don't know, I need to see her. Getting involved with a superhero can be dangerous, if you're putting your life on the line she better be smoking hot." Robin nodded along, "I agree, especially if she's the "love of your life"." Marcia groaned but obliged, scrolling through her phone to find the one decent picture she had of Lotus.

She passed it over to the girls, "So, this is from a few years ago, she looks a bit different...maybe I can take a photo with her." She suggested, watching in anticipation as Robin and Amethyst scanned the photo. Amethyst slowly nodded, "Alright...she's hot, I mean look at those muscles." Marcia blushed, "Well, I'm glad I have your approval. I think you guys would really like her."

"Just try not to get caught up in too much trouble, promise?"

"I promise, Robin."

-

A few days later, Marcia trudged into the apartment much like she had the past few days. Exhausted, she collapsed onto the couch. Luxx leaned over the couch, "Rough rehearsal?" Marcia groaned in reply, "Yeah...it was a really choreography-heavy rehearsal...my legs are so sore." Luxx hummed in understanding, "Well lucky for you, your best friend in the whole entire world made you pasta. So come on, get up!" She patted Marcia's shoulder, the blonde slowly rising.

Once they had sat down at the counter, Marcia recounted the trials and tribulations of her day to Luxx, who in turn did the same. "Have you seen Lotus recently?" Luxx casually threw in, making Marcia stop mid-pasta bite. She paused, her brain groggily trying to remember the last time she spoke to Lotus. "Oh god...no, I haven't spoken to her in like...a week. I've been so busy with rehearsal." Her mind raced- does Lotus think she doesn't like her anymore? She chided herself for her ignorance, burying her face in her hands.

"Why don't you just ask to meet her and explain what happened?" Luxx suggested, "I'm sure she'd understand. I mean, Broadway is a big deal after all." Marcia nodded, temporarily reassured. After she had cleared the dishes, she shot Sasha a text asking to meet with Lotus. By the time she was about to go to sleep, she still hadn't gotten a text back.

She lay surrounded by the darkness, staring up at the ceiling. What if Lotus hated her? Didn't want to see her anymore? She tossed and turned, trying to rid her mind of these thoughts. She huffed, trying to push the thoughts to the back of her mind. She knew she was worrying too much, Luxx would tell her as much- but she couldn't stop overthinking. Soon enough though, exhaustion took over and whisked her off to sleep.

-

The blaring of her alarm jolted Marcia out of her sleep, fumbling with her phone to turn it off. She tried to stifle a yawn as she looked at her notifications, one in particular sticking out to her.

'Sasha Colby: Lotus said she'll be there ;)'

She felt relief instantly flood through her body, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. With that, she could go about her day a little easier. She found her day seemed to pass by faster as she waited for that evening. Even rehearsal seemed to be a bit easier- although she still found herself exhausted after.

She soon found herself back at her apartment, fussing over her hair as she put the finishing touches on her outfit. She glanced at the clock, quickly shrugging on her jacket and lacing up her shoes as she headed for the door. She gave a quick goodbye to Luxx before heading out onto the bustling street.

Marcia arrived at their meeting spot, the building beside the alleyway she was almost kind of kidnapped in. She had mixed feelings about it, to say the least- they should probably meet somewhere else, but she pushed those thoughts to the side. She fiddled with her headband as she eagerly waited and watched for the girl.

"Hi, doll."

Marcia jumped as Lotus' voice appeared behind her, "Why do you always do that?! Gosh, you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days!" Lotus laughed as Marcia pouted at her, "I'm serious!"

"Oh c'mon, don't make that face! I think it's only fair considering you've been ignoring me." Lotus teased, leaning against the wall. 

Marcia flushed, "I'm sorry about that- I've been so busy with rehearsals, I just lost track of time. I swear I meant to talk to you earlier."

"Don't apologize, I figured it was something like that. I just wanted to tease you, you're cute when you're flustered."

Marcia felt her face go red as she struggled to form a reply, all while Lotus giggled at her reaction. Lotus spoke up instead, "Why don't you tell me all about rehearsals? You're doing that one show, the one about the blonde girl, right? Is it Mean Girls?"

"Legally Blonde, but you were close! Are you sure you don't mind? I can go kind of," Marcia paused, "well, kind of overboard when it comes to theatre."

"No, I don't mind at all! I want to hear about the things you're passionate about."

Marcia couldn't hide the smile creeping onto her face as she launched into the show's details- how rehearsal was going, trying on costumes, and the dreaded upcoming tech week. Lotus sat intently listening the whole time, nodding her head along and smiling at Marcia's grand gestures. She was talking about the new blocking they had received for the next number when Lotus interrupted.

"Wait, why do you have to learn two versions?"

"Because I'm Elle's, the lead, understudy. I basically have to learn her choreography and the ensembles just in case our Elle can't go on."

Lotus was silent for a moment, processing what Marcia had just told her.

"So you have to like...learn double of everything?"

Marcia nodded.

"That's fucking impressive. Seriously, I mean...wow."

Marcia beamed brightly at the compliment, "Thanks! You should come see the show, uh, if you want to that is."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, doll."

The butterflies in her stomach erupted, leaving her speechless and her face bright red. Lotus smirked at her state, which Marcia rolled her eyes at.

"Oh!" Lotus gasped as if she just remembered something, "I want to show you something. Um, if you want to. You don't have to, I get it-"

"Are you kidding? I'd love to!"

Lotus grinned and lifted Marcia into her arms before taking off into the sky. She wrapped her arms around Lotus' neck, cheering as they took off through the sky. They weren't in the sky for long, as they touched down on top of the Manhattan bridge. Lotus held Marcia steady as she set her feet down, laughing nervously at the height.

The wind whipped her hair as she looked down, the cars looking like tiny dots passing below them. She clutched onto Lotus without even thinking about it, who wrapped her arm around her waist.

"This...this is pretty cool." Marcia exhaled, laughing again in disbelief.

"That's not even the best part- look."

Lotus guided Marcia's face with her hand to look towards the sky- a beautiful pink and orange as the sun began to set. Marcia's eyes shone as she took it all in, gasping at its beauty. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she had seen a sunset, or at least one with such a beautiful view like this.

They stood there, together, until the sun had set and the sky was purple.

"Pretty cool, right?"

Marcia nodded, "You know how to impress a girl."

Lotus smirked, very proud of herself. "I used to hang out here and watch the sunset all the time before my shifts. Gave me time to clear my head and focus on the positive. I'm glad I got to share it with you."

Marcia softened, leaning closer into Lotus. "I'm glad you did too."

Lotus rested her head on top of Marcia's, staying like that for a minute before she spoke again.

"I should get you back, I have to go on patrol soon..."

"Do you have to?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Quit pouting, you're gonna make me feel worse!" She laughed, playfully squeezing Marcia who giggled in return.

"Wait! We should take a photo to remember this!" She suggested, eagerly pulling out her phone.

"You're just trying to rope me into spending more time with you!" Lotus teased, yet she still leaned into Marcia and posed for the photo, throwing up a pair of bunny ears behind Marcia's hair.

The camera flashed, capturing this small moment in time. Marcia sighed as she took in the tranquility of it all. She wished the moment could last forever, just the two of them. But it couldn't, not for the moment anyway.

"Will you bring me back sometime?"

"I will. I promise."

-

Marcia drifted off to sleep that night thinking of the bridge, the sunset, and Lotus. She felt like she was on cloud nine, the photo they had taken now set as her home screen. Luxx teased her for it and called her a sap, and maybe she was, but it made her heart flutter every time she looked at it. She felt on top of the world as she fell asleep that night.

[paradoxical-catastrophe]

It’s probably just the Frontal Lobe developing combined with dissociation but… anything even 6 months ago just feels like… not me, though I can recognize it as me. But anything like… 2-3 years ago, I could easily be convinced that was not me.

Vent ig? More just complaining. TW mentions vague of sui. This is all just random jumping back and foward about shit on my mind

Even just comparing highschool to now…

I did so many clubs and extracurriculars in ms/hs, and wanted to do more. I did a military program, band, a team creativity program thing, martial arts… I even wanted to do stuff like chess club, math competitions, orchestra, etc.

I drew constantly, I did my homework, I attended everything, I generally felt productive.

And now like… the last time I drew was over a month ago. I had to drop most things due to lack of time and loss of motivation, I only do band now. And… I don’t practice my instrument. I constantly forget homework, I never study. I was a gifted kid, and I thought the burnout would plateau in college. But it’s only gotten worse. I haven’t made any friends here. I don’t know my roommates names or anything about them. I haven’t made a proper meal (aka actual cooking, not just box stuff) in weeks.

I want to indulge my hobbies more. And I know the biggest reason I couldn’t is because of Friend Issues™️, deteriorating mental health, and school. And like yeah I’m finally getting out of ‘need constant distraction or the Harmful Thoughts will come back, but now it’s just… I feel empty without it.

I miss the kid I was. She couldn’t have ever imagined life would be like what it is now…

She has no idea we’re trans, we’re disabled, we broke up with that one guy who actually turned out to have cheated on us, lost that one friend who meant everything to us, learned how actually disgusting this stupid state is to the point I’m scared and tempted to take down any visible pride things I have because of elections, not even the fact we’re a system.

But like we got cool ass dyed hair and piercings and tattoos that’s sick at least. I want more.

It’s hard to think about what my life would have been like if I hadn’t done this one thing. If I hadn’t spoken to this person, if I hadn’t watched this show, if I hadn’t gotten an account on this website…

Yet, I really don’t think there’s a universe where life is any better than this. There’s a lot of shit, but there’s some wonderful things too.

Yeah I was cheated on, injured my leg, traumatized, constantly sick as a kid, made absolutely terrible mistakes, but. Now I’m in an apartment studying something I love, I’m playing fantastic music and I’m a lovely musician, I’m making fashion choices that I like, I’m doing what I want with my body. I’ve even got a fantastic boyfriend and group of friends that I don’t feel like I have to pretend around. I never realized how much I was masking and pretending and hiding until I met these people.

Idk whether I’m happy or sad. Something something cancelled out I guess. Now that Friend Issues™️ is over after being stuck with them for over a year, things finally feel like they’re (somewhat) going up. Just gotta stay alive until then. And I think working on fixing my sleep schedule is helping. No more staying up till 5-6 am!! Need a Morgana to bitch at me to sleep smh

I should pick up a new hobby. I still kinda feel like I’m distracting myself with my interests instead of enjoying my hobbies. I’d like to do something artistic, but I don’t have the motivation to really draw.

Maybe I’ll have some motivation tomorrow between classes. I do wanna draw my new oc and give him a solid outfit instead of just ‘inspo’…