#just a vent really
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my parents are always like "you seem to have a lot of pent up anger in you". and i fucking wonder why? maybe because they were the adults in my life and they were supposed to protect me? maybe because they never did, and made me feel like I was supposed to protect THEM instead? maybe because feeling like i had to deal with my problems alone lead me to have a super negative idea of the world and not being able to ask for help? maybe because having to take care of myself from a young age left me no room for emotional growth and lead me to viewing any display of strong negative emotions as a personal failure?
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I'm honestly devastated that Queer terms have become so weaponized in our own community. I hate seeing someone using LGBT instead of Queer and having to wonder if they're exclus or think mspec lesbains and gays are harmful or hate xenogenders or are transmedicalist etc all because fucking TERFS convinced us that Queer was an evil word and people who use it are bad somehow.
Idgaf kind of Queer or lgbt you are, you have a seat at my table. Unconditionally. It doesn't have to be like this. Get your priorities together and open your eyes to the real problems. Please. Choose to love your fellow queers more than you hate yourselves or hate our oppressors or want to be loved by our oppressors. When shit hits the fan, all we will have is each other. They will not stop at "undesirables"(not that such a thing even exists), they never have. They will continue to push and push and no one will be safe but it is never too late to change and open your eyes.
#just a vent really#but i feel free to rb if it resonates with you#sparos queer#sparo talks life#a seat at my table
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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This Google Drive AI scraping bullshit actually makes me want to cry. My entire life is packed into Google Drive. All of my writing over the years, all of my academic documents, everything.
I’m just so overwhelmed with all the shit I’m going to have to move. I’m lucky to have Scrivener, but online data storage has been super important as I’ve had so many shitty computers, and the only reason I haven’t lost work is because Google Drive has been my backup storage unit.
My partner has recommended gitlab to move my files to - it seems useful, and I can try and explain more about what it is and how it works when I get more familiar with it. I’m unsure if it’s a text editor, or can work that way. He was explaining something about the version history that I don’t quite understand right now but might later. I’m just super overwhelmed and frustrated that this is the dystopia we live in right now.
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I didn't miss feeling absolutely alone
I didn't miss having to write the good and bad stuff that happen to me because there's no one to talk to and have to put it out somehow
I didn't miss only ever feeling something when it was related to my favorite characters and fictional universes
I didn't, not really.
Yet here I am. I got tired of trying. Again.
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if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.
Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.
#assholes still do not deserve to be victims of bigotry#people will crow this up and down until they find someone they think is a big enough asshole to really deserve it#watch your cognitive dissonance kids#i really am only speaking to white people here. as a white person.#POC can feel however they feel.#though i still don't think it's an appropriate sentiment to turn into Political Praxis there is of course a need to vent#like idk i don't find any marginalised suffering under fascism funny. i think it's fucking sad.#i think it is sad when right wing gay people experience homophobia and i think it is sad when right wing trans people experience transphobia#and when right wing disabled people experience ableism and when right wing women experience misogyny#leopards eating faces is funny when it's about like. rich people or misogynists or whatever it's.#do you understand that this is punching down?#why are we wasting our energy hoping for the victimisation of specific marginalised people#this would be a great time to do some outreach but instead everyone is just fucking MOCKING THEM#you're so fucking stupid you don't care about The Cause you care about Winning#this shit makes me furious.#have some compassion#the system speaks#USpol#Trump#racism#politics
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#daddy issues#father issues#this is a girlblog#im just a girl#girlblog#hell is a teenage girl#girlhood#this is girlhood#this is what makes us girls#vent? not really#vent?#older male#older men <3#oldermen#older man younger woman#Spotify
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The Vampire Aesthetic
Ok so Danny knows two billionaires personally and they really couldn’t be more different. Yet they had one thing in common. A vampire aesthetic. Sam is fully into goth. Spiderwebs, bats, the color black. She enjoys fangs and fake blood and the darkness of her soul. Meanwhile, Vlad is Vlad. If his name wasn’t enough, the dark clothing, pale skin, and flying around with a cape and fangs with coffins in his mansion really sells it.
Danny doesn’t know many rich people so he thinks this might be some kind of trend. (If Paulina is rich, her family likes the chupacabra) So he just thinks that all rich people have some kind of vampire thing going on.
Cue Danny somehow ending in the Wayne household. Maybe he was brought over as a friend of one of the bats, maybe rescued from a field trip/vacation gone wrong, maybe some other situation. But he is there in civilian form with civilian Waynes and Danny just takes a good long look around the inside of the mansion.
“So where’s the vampire aesthetic?
Everyone freezes.
Danny just starts looking around, checking behind paintings and feeling the walls for secret levers. Used to secret passages with Vlad and possibly Sam. The Fentons definitely had them when they were temporarily rich.
“Come on, I know you guys are hiding it.”
Cue the entire batfamily thinking that this is another Tim and that he is fully aware that these people are the batfamily. Danny hangs around the mansion more and the bats just start dropping their disguises and not even bothering to hide stuff around Danny because they assume he already knows. (Possibly even trying to recruit him to be a new bat) Meanwhile, Danny, who does not know these people are batman and his birds, just does not pick up on any of it.
He grew up in a health violation with a giant ballon observatory lab above his head and a portal to the afterlife in his basement. He is a half dead teenager who has tea with the god of time and his godfather is the other parent to his clone child. He’s used to death lazers being scattered across his home and mysterious stains on clothing.
People are weird! He doesn’t judge!
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#Kizzer55555 ideas#The Batfamily think Danny knows their secret.#For once Danny really is clueless and thinks they are just his new billionaire friends.#Blood stains? What bloodstains? That must be chili.#Danny: *knocks into Jason and accidentally pushes out bad ecto without realizing it* “oh sorry about that.” Jason: “are you God?”#Danny is obsessed with the animals. They are little BABIES! Damian approves this new interloper. Danny rides Batcow and has a ✨🤩✨ moment.#Danny introduces Damian to Cujo. No one else knows about Cujo. Damian will make SURE no one else knows about Cujo.#Cujo and Titan are best friends.#I know people think Duke’s ghost vision has him see Danny as something obviously not normal but I do you one better.#He cannot see or hear Danny at all. It takes him MONTHS before he realizes that the batfamily are talking to an additional presence.#And instead of thinking this is weird he thinks this is a new code they have developed and is trying to decipher it.#Duke watching Damian as he casually talks to the wall. Danny looking at Damian “why is he staring at us.”#Damian makes direct eye contact with Duke. “Training.”#Duke: WHAT DOES THAT MEEEAAANN?!?!?#There are ‘accidents’ like that one Time Danny was staying over and Jason was trying to sneak into the mansion.#Red hood (in full gear with guns bombs and glowing red eye googles) comes over at 1 am and crawls up the vent and opens it above Danny’s be#Danny: lying on the bed with his eyes wide awake and already staring at the ceiling as the vent above him opens. *waves* “Sup”.#Red Hood: …….“sup” (slooowwwly closes vent)
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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Welcome home
#artists on tumblr#cw blood#i really like drawing wings if it wasn't obvious#drawing has been rough lately though#all the A-I trash going around is so depressing to see#please pick up literally any tool in your hand and create#shape something with your own hands#breathe life into something#it doesn't need to look perfect and polished and photorealistic#literally anything any person has ever drawn with their own hands#has more value than every algorithm generated garbage put together#a vent doodle drawn in the math notebook of a 13 yo girl has infinitely more value#than any stolen blendered together soulless algorithm “creation”#we're humans we create#so just#create#with your own hands and your own ideas
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Are you ok?
Of course I'm fine...
#comic#vent art#anxiety#stress#coping#mental health#sad#winter depression :')#i know it sounds weird to say it after this comic but really im ok lol#i think? just need to vent a bit
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i don’t mind suspending my disbelief for leverage’s person-sized ventilation shafts bc that’s pretty standard for the genre, but that doesn’t mean i won’t laugh a bit at some of the egregiously large vents. particularly in the crowning acheivement job (lev: red s2 finale) because - well just look at this lol! harry and parker, two adults, can kneel side by side in those vents. parker can sit upright.
that museum was made for vent crawling purposes. that’s just an extra room in the museum they forgot to decorate. the leverageverse has a thief union that successfully lobbied for a better working environment. these vents double as a playground for museum-goers’ children. i was crying with laughter thinking about this and harry’s vent crisis was NOT helping me remember that there was a serious heist thing going on lol, i love this show.
#leverage redemption#leverage#parker leverage#harry wilson#harry wilson leverage#parker#wren speaks#leverageposting#the sun roofs (or are they just lights?) really get me lmao#ALL of the person-sized vents are unrealistically large so this is not criticism! this is a generic convention!#vents are not human-sized and clean or remotely safe enough to reliably crawl through irl#but basically every building in every crime drama has comfortably person-sized vents#usually for knee crawling not even people lying on their stomach bc that’s difficult to move and looks sillier#and that thin layer of the ceiling under the vent is usually surprisingly built well enough to support a persons weight#and there’s no fans or rats or dust or bugs or that foil tube stuff i forgot the word for#and it’s often oddly well-lit. and that’s okay! it’s fiction! we’re having fun!#sewers tend to be unrealistically large + accessible + well-lit etc in fiction too.#anyway my point is i’m not saying this as criticism! just a neutral obserativion of something i found funny!
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i don't like the growing opinion that people are being 'too hard' on deku for his failing to save shigaraki.
i've seen quite a few people complaining that a lot of the bnha-critical crowd are being too mean to deku for getting tomura killed, arguing that it isn't really his fault, and that hes a 16 year old child soldier who's been failed by almost every adult in his life, why should we be putting all of this on his shoulders? hes just a kid after all?
and the truth is, they're right. deku IS a 16 year old boy whos had the fate of the world thrust on his shoulders. but the story itself just plainly refuses to acknowledge this.
the narrative doesn't acknowledge how fucked up having a school that trains literal children how to be combo cop-celebrities is. it only tentatively acknowledges the fact that a universe having combo cop-celebrities is fucked up, and even then the only people who ever point this out are antagonists, who are portrayed and treated in-universe as untrustworthy. the narrative doesn't care how fucked up dekus circumstances are. the narrative treats deku like hes a fucking messiah here to touch the hearts of the evil depressed villains with his magical empathetic heart of gold before they get blown up or just sent to fucking superhell for daring to challenge the status quote.
deku isn't a person. he's barely even a fucking character at this point. he's a plot device, and a mouth piece for the objectively shitty themes bnha is trying to spout. the themes that tell you that if you're mistreated by society and want to do something about it, you're a villain. that disrupting the status quote and refusing to repent to some random teenage boy spouting empty platitudes at you means you deserve to get sent to fucking superhell. the themes that portray people fighting for civil change as mass murdering supervillains. the themes that look the audience dead in the eye and can call deku the greatest hero to ever live.
deku, who barely spared a second thought to lady nagant telling him the truth about the hero commission. who spouts meaningless platitudes about heroism and morality at nagant, and aoyama, and toga and shigaraki, when even the thought that he should question the world around him comes up. who's constantly talked about as this truly kind, empathetic person, but hasn't spared an empathetic thought to literally anyone who is classified as a villain. who listened to every authority figure around him except the ones who asked him to question his worldview. who saw la bravas tears, shigarakis various breakdowns, himikos plead for understanding, chisakis catatonic state, lady nagants truth, and barley batted a fucking eye. deku, who killed tomura shigaraki.
people don't criticize deku for failing shigaraki because they just hate deku. people criticize deku because of what he represents. because hes a mouthpiece for the atrocious morals and themes of this ideologically rotten manga. because any character he had was chopped up to bits in favor of the incomplete husk we have now. people criticize deku because hes the main character of my hero academia. theres nothing more damning then that.
#my post#bnha#bnha critical#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#sorry if this sounds really angry. i mean i am very angry at bnha for being such a nothing burger of empty platitudes and wasted potential#but like. that was extremely predictable#bnha wanted to be more than it was willing to put effort into being and so now its just. worthless#so this is just kinda a vent on all my angry feelings abt dekus failure as a character and a protagonist#tomura shigaraki#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha critical#my hero acedamia critical#boku no hero acedamia critical#deku#bnha meta#i mean techinally#mha#mha meta#bnha manga spoilers#bnha manga#long post#well longish
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#messyr#artists on tumblr#vent post#vent art#tw sui ideation#being busy keeps me distracted as f from these behaviors and thoughts;#keeping distracted bc idfk how to get rid of the urges from intrusive and harmful thoughts#every scenario is just like: hey we can try attempting again today maybe we'll succeed this time!!!#then i'll be rational (focusing on the present) and go : nah cant bro we busy#got clients. gotta graduate. got people to take care of. got people waiting blah blah blah#the endless list where i never catch a break and maybe I've grown used to it.#i yearn death but i don't take its offer. I can't really leave. Not yet. not when there's still too much to do.
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This is BARELY related to this blog but I just saw a post in a local fb group from someone who hired a pet setter, and while they were out of the country she intentionally let their indoor cat out, didn't tell them when it went missing, and then when they found out and confronted her she argued that keeping their cat indoors was cruel. I am filled with homicidal rage.
The cat was last seen three days ago please send good vibes
Edit: the cat is home safe, and back indoors!
#for legal reasons that last part was a jokr#not mustelids#again not really related but oh my god i just needed to vent#i dont know these people btw but i really hope they get their cat back
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ok but hear me out. how fun and crazy would it actually be if we talked about asexuality as a spectrum more?
consider this? aces who like sex but don't like being touched themselves? aces liking and getting off on pain stimulation but not pleasure stimulation? Aces who don't like getting off but like sex? Aces who use a one to ten scale to gauge sexual ability but never fully make it to ten. Aces who are happy at a level seven, or four, or two. Aces who like some aspects of sex but not all. Aces who get bored in the middle of sex and stop. Aces who are super into over the clothes stimulation. Aces with boundaries.
#dreamy sigh#that is all#im just a stone ace trenchcoat gender agent#and i really love being ace#i really love my relationship to sex#i really love my disinterest with sex#i love all the complicated fluctuation of emotion that it brings#i love pain#i love pain as a means to pleasure#i love kink even when i don't like sex#i just felt like talking about this#i love the flag so much and i love how i fit into it#asexuality#vent post
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