#just a lot of performative manipulation
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if you've ever had a job that caused you to have anxiety and fear of performance or your own worth after you left, tell in me in the tags if you have a new job and/or how you're healing through it
#i just started a new job monday and i am trying very hard to let the fears of my old one behind#trauma#work trauma#my old job basically offered me no support and dangled promotions over my head just to snatch them away#and then gave me way too much work for one human while outright promoting someone who'd been there for half the time i had#and was doing other work on company time#also the CEO claimed i didn't say hi to her enough which made me incredibly unnerved#just a lot of performative manipulation#my current job has super sweet coworkers and a great HR team#but i'm still struggling#txt#personal txt
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Natasha/Loki not for the romance but for the devastating attempt at mind games and the excessive internal monologue they would both have when trying to manipulate the other into the real-fake relationship.
#they are like death note. to me#just think about it#they both are in it for the manipulation because they see an opportunity to secretly benefit#are they ace4ace or allo4allo no one is sure possibly a mix and match game but the answers aren’t even with them#they accidentally end up a genuinely cute couple while trying to get info from each other#they keep thinking ‘but if she WAS telling the truth about this then would it not be a ruse to make her performance more genuine?’#and ‘agreeing means one of two possibilities. both because he is lying to find a weakness but why in a way that doesn’t commandeer the act?#both going ‘is he/she trying to clear my suspicions or encourage them? it will not work!’#and then they’re just like. holding hands#because I think if Natasha and Loki are both thinker reflection characters the screentime would have a lot of silences
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#i am NOT a taylor swift fan so the fact i didn't like the collab is not surprising to me#i just dont get why you'd extend the offer of a collaboration to such a talented vocalist like patrick#(who could have performed in his higher register if that was what taylor + producers wanted)#with some weird vocal filter or pitch manipulator#like. that is NOT patrick's voice and the volume of his parts blend unnecessarily into the rest of the music so you cant HEAR him anyway#what you do hear sounds almost indistinguishable from taylor's parts so. why even ask him to feature on the song aksjdfdklas#bad production choices were made imo#i have much more to say akjdljskfja but i know a lot of people really really like taylor's music so i don't want to shit on it so much#but anyway. it was like a 4/10 for me#taylor swift#anti taylor swift#(not really but I do NOT want her fans coming after me)
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fragment of a partially written “what if Evan went through with the magic-exorcism and had his memory of Gowpenny erased?” fic -- specifically a scene in which Jammer/K/Sam track him down to some middle-of-nowhere rest stop in order to meet him again
#N posts stories#thought it would be fun to experiment with the idea that his passengers are like#Way beyond the scope of human-magic and so they retained their memories intact#and Evan is just so used to shrugging off everything they say to him that he just refuses to engage#but there’s also a lot to Wonder about re: would Evan retain memory of having performed Accidental magic throughout his childhood?#would be interesting to play around with things there of like. How Much would they have to Take from him#to reach whatever level of ignorance they deem acceptable? nauseating.#truly tho the Exact Inverse of this fic is also something i’ve been entertaining writing meaning like#canon timeline where Evan fully thinks through the implications of ‘these people Could at any point take away my magic and erase my memory#of Whatever they want to just Whenever they decide to want to’ like Philtrum doesn’t Force Evan through anything but she does get like#Incredibly manipulative and coercive and Evan did not Actually give Informed Consent when he elected into the procedure in the first place#(it was never explained that the Whole pilot program would be kicked out — informed consent requires All relevant info given up front)#and either way ‘will they do it to me’ does not matter nearly as much as ‘are they Capable of doing this to me?’#combined with the fact that ep one Does establish to Evan that casting magic on children as punishment is considered Completely acceptable#there’s SO much to unpack about the kind of paranoia that would undoubtedly instill in Anyone but especially in someone like Evan
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tbh tho this is EXACTLY what merfolk relationships look like
and they just keep track of this. in their heads. all the time.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#they dont have gendered pronouns but they do have tone modifiers for every other fucking word depending on their relationship to the other#and their mood. and if theyre referring to multiple people at once or just one person. and often layered on top of each other too.#merfolk have poor vision but they DO inherently think of things in a more ''three dimensional'' way than we do#considering they live underwater and youre operating with another axis just to move around anywhere#which then gets applied to the rest of their everything#ESPECIALLY language because theyre nerds who went hard into the sound focus#their visual art in comparison has simpler elements than ours (but a lot more focus on light/movement)#this is why merfolk have some very unique spellcrafts and theyre notorious for complicated and detailed spellwork#like yes a part of it is the fact that theyre older than the other species and have had more time to work on it#but also they can just DO really unique things compared to other cultures because they emphasize layered detail in this way#this is also why - from the outside - so much of miranda's job looks like parties and balls and attending to the courts#because again. its all about the emphasis on who has what relationship with who and how to operate within that.#legal agreements are multilayered and come with terms and conditions a mile long and you need to have a very careful hand on the pulse#of all of this#even moreso because royal families go even harder with treating the lineage as the individual and the merfolk#as just limbs and organs of this equation#this is why it was so important that miranda be good at manipulation and speaking and just *charismatic*#literally making people do what she wants or needs them to do is just what makes the merkingdom GO and operate#and why she (and the other royals) occupy a space a little like a public performer does as well#and why royals showing personal favor and having close personal relationships is frowned upon as#mixing pleasure and business#since those relationships ARE their business and so much of the underlying politics#if youre showing undue favor to someone because you personally just like them then you aren't judging them based off of actual talent#merfolk complicated! merkingdom complicated!#(the merkingdom is also SUPER fucked up but thats tangential from this tangent)
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hiiiiiiiiiiii!! Did Joseph choose the design of his wings? i guess they were linked to genes and mutation so maybe he couldnt choose...
regardless, do Joseph's parents like . babyproof the claws on his wings? Those bad boys are POINTY and not really suitable for 10 year-olds methinks ... i dont want my boyo to get hurtie sniffles
yess he did! the way their society has developed it, aesthetic changes can be performed like how we do normal surgery, just much more advanced, or genetically, but that typically has certain limitations (easier to change certain aspects of already existing traits than create entirely new ones). joseph's aesthetic alterations were surgical, so his body was manually remade where necessary to enable the construction of wings that also function (aka he can move them and they're an extension of his body with nerves and shit rather than just something taped on.) we imagine he'd probably need some sort of additional help when it comes to growth though because his body can't do that by itself. aka expensive both initially and for upkeep oughh 🤕 meanwhile five has an aesthetic alteration in his hair that's more genetic, so he wasn't born with hair like that or had anyone in his family which would allow hair like that, but since his actual genes have been altered his hair now naturally grows white/black and it can be passed on to any kids he might have. if joseph did gain wings through more natural means so that any genetic traits he had prior would determine color, he could also choose to have those traits altered so that his wings would look different.
he specifically chose his wings to appear the way they do because of the connection to a highly respected group revolving around justice that considers themselves modern day knights, whose members all take care to resemble green dragons. it's both formal and informal i.e. there's an actual organization of proper members who are fully connected to each other, and people who aren't a part of the actual org but subscribe to their beliefs and align with them both in appearance and behavior. other aesthetic changes come with certain associations by result of people being people, so while it's entirely possible and fine to just want the green dragon vibe while not caring for the org, people will still assume you're associated. stuff like that would probably manifest in a lot of different ways, like people assuming you're a fan of a celebrity because you have a similar added trait that a celebrity has, or thinking you're annoying because you have pink hair and everyone who gets pink hair is annoying duhh, etc etc. but in this case it's an association joseph wants, even though some people might see it as a bad thing.
and they do not 😇 he'd probably go crazy if they tried babyproofing it and would just remove it. tbh he'd probably accidentally hurt other people more than he would hurt himself... kind of just one of those things he has to be aware of so he probably knows how to watch where his claws are atp.
#joseph performs the surgical equivalent of buying a fursuit when you're 13 even though you're gonna grow and you'll need a new one#if any SCIENCE NERDS wanna be all 'ermm actually the way you explain genes and surgery is wrong because-' shhh...#besides it's also important to note that a lot of advancements are magic assisted and so they can get away with a lot more#while it'd be expensive we like to think it wouldn't be as expensive as such a surgery would be in the real world because#of how common it is and the fact that it's inherently easier for them. surgery and other bodily manipulations are super focused on#hence making them much safer easier and by result much more accessible#the main premise is kind of just extending those modifications to the mind as fucked as that sounds#by reverse engineering mind alteration based magic and making it long term#hence influencing people's political stances to extreme points#grins#ioi#ioi joseph#asks
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I was learning more about Japanese theatre and ended up stumbling an offshoot of bunraku puppetry I'd never heard of before
The puppets themselves are very similar
But they worked out this way to reduce the number of puppeteers-per-character from three to just one. And they get to do it sitting down. The puppeteer gets a small wheeled stool and is able to freely walk the character around the stage, scooting around behind them.
It looks like so much fun
#the chatacter's feet are connected to the performer's. so the character is able to freely roam the stage#this is close enough to stuff I've done that i really want to try doing a character like this#i think id enjoy performing a character this way#unfortunately i am struggling to find a name for this type of puppet#i think it might be unique to a specific theatre#i feel like this works better than what the disney stage shows worked out for like olaf for instance.#having the puppeteer standing behind the small character is a lot more distracting than if they just sort of sat behind them the whole time#plus then the arm rods can actually be manipulated meaningfully if you are closer to the puppet like that#id rather do it like this than wear like a bass drum harness with a cartoon hanging off it#is that just me#i know they did a pooh stage show with puppets built the same way as olaf I'd bet money it was the same vendor
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Oh yeah so they are! I was mostly thinking about exotic pet care guides, which (due to reptile YouTubers) I suspect may be the primary way people find out about snakes and other less-appreciated species. They do have a tendency to blur the lines between “common, not endangered, native to [local region]” and “uncommon, at risk from poaching, native to [far away region]”? At least, the guides I’ve seen usually only mention foods other than rodents if the snake might have difficulty recognizing frozen/thawed rodents as food.
The conflict between “reptile YouTube spreads awareness and appreciation for species people typically consider to be distasteful” and “yeah but their information is often inaccurate and the husbandry is poor 90% of the time so is the appreciation worth it”, I guess
….though now I’m wondering if my ball python would like an egg as a treat, they eat a lot of birds in the wild and I’d be surprised if they didn’t eat the eggs too. guess I’ll do some research lol, chicken eggs *are* pretty big so they might not be safe, but maybe quail…
This is a gentle reminder to those who keep poultry to PLEASE keep in mind wild snakes if you are using fake eggs in your chicken coop. Snakes are incapable of digesting the wooden/plastic/ceramic fake eggs that are commonly placed in chicken coops to train hens. Snakes (like this little ratsnake here) can and often do eat these fake eggs and suffer life-threatening obstruction as a result!
If you need to use fake eggs in your coop please strive to ensure that the enclosure is snake-proof (difficult) or superglue 3 or more eggs together so that snakes cannot consume them and become obstructed.
#snakes are really cool you guys#but also maybe double check the regions#and also animals in the wild invariably have behaviour a thousand times more varied than those in captivity#imo it’s the responsibility of any pet owner to provide an environment where the animal can do as many of those behaviours as possible#and also make sure the animal is being sourced in a way that doesn’t hurt the wild population#bc like. I actually think many good things come out of the exotic pet trade?#having thousands of eyes on a species means we’re going to learn things that would never have been possible to discover otherwise#and also let’s be real here habitat loss and climate change hurts the wild populations a thousand times more than the pet trade#so live capturing is more the icing on the cake/another small stressor on top of all the ones they’re already having a hard time with#rather than THE one danger to wild species#(live capture for the pet trade that is)#but still like. pets should be a two way street.#trade offer: you get [enjoyment of animal]: animal receives [safe environment with no predators and consistent access to food]#if the animal is gonna be stuck in a drawer and doesn’t have opportunity to perform natural behaviours and not all of it’s daily needs met#then it isn’t getting anything from the bargain and that’s just like. unfair.#which is why I generally advocate for keeping species that (in the wild) are already frequently found around human habitation#(like my mourning geckos which have a really wide range and are frequently just straight-up found in houses)#or that you can be absolutely positive you’re able to keep in a situation that’s a close enough facsimile to wild#that they can perform the vast majority of their natural behaviours#(which should also be a goal for the common species)#….and like. I’m including cats/Guinea pigs/rabbits/dogs in this#bc they ALSO have a lot of care requirements that are often not met even though they’re domesticated#….and for that matter humans too actually#humans in ‘the wild’ are highly social tenacious semi-arboreal problem solvers that alter their landscapes heavily to suit their needs#the current trend of keeping them in 10x10x8 boxes and making them interact with hundreds of strangers every day#and not letting them manipulate their environment unless they ‘own it’#is just straight-up inhumane! they should have everyday climbing opportunities and more predictable social structures and more enrichment#how do you know they wouldn’t use it if you don’t give them the OPPORTUNITY to use it#…..anyway yeah#……I may have opinions on this
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thinking about it as i re-read the original sins volume, and i know i say constantine enjoys pissing people off, but really it's more like? not letting people get away with the small shit? the snide side-comments, the sideways looks, the baldfaced assumptions, the microaggressions — he likes to rub people's nose in their own shit, make them face it, own it, try to defend it. which, as an openly queer, working class, actively anti-racist man in the 80s, does end up causing a lot of fights.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#he still loves pissing people off but the part that mostly Does piss people off is the confrontation. the lack of patience for bullshit#like something i forget a lot about the comics until i come up against it is the amount of homophobia john faces??#i never really think of him as being super visibly queer but he gets called slurs Quite a few fucking times#and part of that is that he's unconventional & an old punk rocker & a dandy & stopped performing toxic masculinity a loooong time ago#but he also just. does not seem afraid of being Perceived. and when he is he doubles down and owns it#like that panel in i think 'books of magic' where someone tells him gin & tonic is a queer's drink & he goes 'pay u $25 to suck my dick ;)'#his magic is all about misdirection but he's only so good at it bc at heart he is a person who will always look you dead in the eye#all your internalized garbage and nasty assumptions? he sees it. he meets it head-on. he might care but he won't seem like it#he's too old to internalize that kind of nonsense. fix your hearts cowards#this is also why he's such a good manipulator: you're the one making it clear what you want. he just has to pretend to give it#anyway. i love him your honor#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.#homophobia cw#just in case
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── jay’s body. ( pjs ) 🔪
๑ A string of gruesome murders have been plaguing your small town with fear, there hasn’t been many leads on who this unnamed killer could be but never in a million years would you suspect that it was someone you were so close to…
pair/genre: popular jock!jay ㅊ nerdy!f!reader, dead dove do not eat, college au, jennifer’s body au | warnings: horror, pwp, angst, smut, humor/dark jokes, set in the late 2000’s, jay is your childhood best friend, yandere/incubus!jay, mentions of depression/anxiety, childhood trauma, graphic descriptions of death and violence, gore, cheating, manipulation tactics, dub-con, virginity loss, d/s dynamics, piv, fingering, oral (m + f. rec), rough s.x, biting, slight knife play, unprotected s.x, breeding kink | words: 18.3k+ (holy shit i’m insane..)
**please heed ALL warnings before reading, i am not responsible for the content you consume !!
[ song inspo: mascara, do you believe, & cherry waves by deftones ]
this is a really long one compared to all of my other fics ! i’m happy with the outcome of this so i hope you all like it !! i poured way too much time and effort into this writing so reblogs and comments are highly appreciated <33 big thank you to the loml @p4ranormaluv for beta-ing my fic, ilysm muahh
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
“you should come.” jay’s figure hovered over your desk, his face so unbearably close to yours that one wrong move could lead to both of your lips accidentally colliding. “please y/n? it’ll be fun, i promise !” his former pout returns to guilt trip you even further.
you stood your ground and shook your head, leaning back into the chair for more breathing room. this wasn’t something out of the ordinary for him, jay constantly invaded your personal space, never believing in boundaries when it came to you— and he’d get even more obnoxious by persistently asking to hang outside of classes.
“no jay, i already told you before that i have homework to do..” you remind him yet again for the umpteenth thousand time, as if he didn’t already know that, not bothering to put much thought into considering his dumb little offer.
for the past hour or so he’s been bugging you about going to some dive bar downtown with him. it seems a lot of people were attending since a locally known indie girl band, ‘sweet venom’, is going to be performing there tonight. jay would always rave about their music once he discovered them on myspace, growing quite the infatuation with the lead singer in particular. you really weren’t all that interested in going, you weren’t even a fan, plus you had way more important things to worry about. and besides, concerts weren’t your thing anyway, you’ve always hated large crowds— gives you an inducing amount of anxiety.
“ugh, why’re you so lamee, it’s like you’re allergic to fun..” he whines, dragging out his words which only made him sound even more immature. he’d never miss a beat to poke fun at you for being such a goody two shoes. “we’re not getting any younger y/n, keep going at this rate and you’re bound to end up an old, shriveled up cat lady who’s gonna die a miserable virgin !”
his snarky comments about your dry sex life didn’t phase you as much as they used to, but after a while you do get sick of hearing them all the time. to be frank, you aren’t even sure why you and jay were still such close friends, maybe it’s because of the deep rooted history you two share, dating all the way back to when you were in kindergarten; or simply could be the fact that no matter what, jay refused to never leave your side— ever.
you’ve had one too many disagreements and blown out of proportion arguments with him over the years, yet he’s never held any of those things against you, it’s practically a clean slate the next day. you’ll never understand why he’s so adamant on keeping this friendship alive when you’re just so vastly different from each other. he’s athletic, outgoing, extremely popular amongst his peers— and especially with women, of course.
jay will never admit it out loud, but he’s always enjoyed being the center of attention, not to mention he was blessed with a well above average face that he used to his advantage quite a bit. he’d often came off as pretty arrogant and crude to most people, he honestly had no filter when it came to voicing his own opinions; but that was the allure of him, made his charm even more magnetic to the dozens of girls who’d fawn over him on a daily basis. he acted as though all eyes weren’t on him, yet he secretly relished it. if he wasn’t stroking his own ego, best believe there’d be someone who would.
you glare at him, wishing he’d just shut up already and go bother someone else for a change, but you know that’ll never happen in this lifetime. “i’m actually in a very loving and committed relationship.. so i rebuke that statement, thank you very much !” you quickly fire back, gathering your textbooks and other supplies, shoving them into the compartments of your black messenger bag.
“soo, i’m guessing mark’s dick isn’t really all that satisfying enough for you ? ‘cause you still act hella cranky all the time… must not be that good,” jay couldn’t help but chuckle to himself, deciding to further agitate you. “oh, who am i kidding.. you probably haven’t even let that bastard kiss you yet.”
if you weren’t so mentally drained from the 6 hours you’ve just endured of back to back classes, you’d be beating his ass to a pulp right here and now. “we’re taking things slow !” you defend yourself once more, lifting from the chair as you’re about to head out the door, to which jay follows behind to continue his rampant taunting spree.
“it’s been 6 months y/n, how much more ‘slow’ can you take it ?” a group of girls wave at him as you walked through the corridor, but he ignores it and keeps walking like the pretentious asshole he is. “bet the dude gets blue balls everytime he sees you.”
you stopped dead in your tracks for a second, turning around to face him only to be met with a smug grin settled on his lips. the fact he gets such a kick out of constantly teasing you made it all the more aggravating, but eventually you caved in, as per usual.
“ugh, fine.. what time is it ?” you inquire, watching how he instantly lit up at your question. you knew he would’ve been moping and complaining for the rest of the day if you didn’t go with him. anything to get him to finally shut up..
“it starts at 9 but i’ll pick you up at 8:30 !” jay caged his arm around your waist, pulling you into a half hug. “oh, and make sure to wear something good.” he quickly adds.
“um.. i always wear good clothes ??” a scoff leaves your lips, slightly offended by his critique of your clothing choices.
“really ?” he spoke sarcastically, eyeing the oversized crewneck sweatshirt you wore with cats printed all over, “this isn’t middle school anymore, it wouldn’t kill you to show a little bit of cleavage once in a while.”
you flat out ignore his comments. not even wanting to entertain his bullshit anymore, if anything it would only lead to a petty argument that’ll sour your mood for the whole day. you’ve learned the hard way that sometimes— well most of the time, letting jay say whatever he wants was the best option, which is why he always gets away with it. he’s always been the more domineering one of the friendship, whilst you just sat back and let his menacing behavior go unchecked. you hated that you were such a pushover when it came to him but you’d rather just let it go than have a full blown argument that could potentially lead to him having an irrational outburst.
“i gotta go find mark, i’ll see ya later.” your mind shifts back to thinking about your boyfriend who was most likely waiting for you out in the courtyard.
“ew, whatever bye.” a look of faux disgust bestowed on jay’s features, there was no inherent issue he had with mark— just didn’t really like the guy. he felt as though he was slowly being replaced by him, which is why he latched onto you even more than ever.
once you said your final goodbyes and parted ways, you head down a long flight of stairs to go search for your boyfriend. eventually catching him off in the distance as he’s sat on a bench outside, immediately going up to hug him.
“hey babe,” mark happily greets as you embraced him, embedding a kiss to your cheek, “missed you.”
“hey, sorry i showed up kinda late.. got a little sidetracked on my way to you,” you make up a quick lie as you don’t wanna fully admit that jay was the reason for your semi-tardiness.
“got any plans tonight pretty lady ?” he asks with his arm looped around your shoulder as you sat beside him, he was hoping to spend more time with you since you’ve been so cooped up in the library studying for upcoming exams.
“well… yeah, kinda. i’m going to this concert thingy with jay tonight.” there you go, not even a minute in of seeing your boyfriend you’re already bringing him up. it’s always jay, jay, jay— this was really beginning to irritate him.
“oh..” he sighs, visibly tensing up every time he hears that dreaded name slip from your mouth. he knew this was how it usually went down, whenever he asks to spend time with you somehow jay would always beat him to it. mark truly felt like your so called ‘best friend’ was the main perpetrator of sabotaging this relationship.
“we can still hang out for a bit before that !” you suggest, attempting to try and lighten the atmosphere, but mark still wasn’t too thrilled to hear that you were going to be with jay for the whole night instead of him.
you know that mark never really liked jay, and jay also never really liked mark either. it was an odd, unspoken tension between the two but you couldn’t quite seem to put your finger on how or why it all started. mark was more adjacent to your personality, you’re both bookworms, lovers of all things pertaining to math and science, and you lived in the same honor’s apartment complex, which only housed the smartest students of the whole university. jay however… he was a spitting image of everything you strived not to be. rebellious, put very minimal if at all any effort into his studies, was borderline narcissistic, and easily irritable around others. it was like a ticking time bomb with him, you never knew exactly when he’d go off.
“yeah only for like two hours..” mark sulked in discontent, sinking lower into the seat. “you always do whatever jay tells you to do, it’s like you don’t have a mind of your own sometimes.. feels like you enjoy being with jay more than me..”
“that’s not true !” you fire back, “he’s my best friend.. that’s it. you know you mean the world to me,” you anxiously express, fidgeting with the silver, heart-shaped friendship necklace that you and jay both had since elementary school. “my roommate should be gone, i have the whole place to myself, come !” quickly, you grab his hand to lead the way back to your place.
“agh.. okay, better be lucky that you’re cute..” mark jokingly adds, letting you pull him away to the next destination.
๑ ๑ ๑
“so.. which one is he stalking online again ?” mark asks out of curiosity, comfortably sat on top of your bed, referring to jay’s new obsession with this girl band.
“the lead singer of this band, he said she’s like ‘100% his type’ or something, i dunno.” you said nonchalantly, skimming through your wardrobe in hopes of finding an outfit that jay would approve of, you couldn’t dress too revealing as it would only attract unwanted attention from random creeps, but you also didn’t want to present as too “modest” as you’ll only get teased even more than you already were by your best friend.
“huh.. interesting..” he slightly nods, reaching over to play with one of your stuffed bears that you’ve had since childhood. “i still don’t get why he couldn’t just go with someone else or by himself. he doesn’t need you there..”
you don’t answer, instead you were too preoccupied with trying on various tops, unsatisfied with most until you find a dark purple top that was a bit more form fitting. it showed your midriff just a little bit but it wasn’t too much that it would deem as “slutty”, at least in your humble book of opinions. checking yourself out in the vanity mirror to see how you look, you paired the top with some light wash flared jeans that you bought recently while out at the mall with jay.
you weren’t too keen on buying them at first but he’d convinced you to get them anyway. standing in front of your reflection, you barely recognized yourself. you don’t normally wear these types of styles but according to jay, you have to wear ‘good clothes’ so you kind of felt obligated to. finishing off the look, you took off your glasses, replacing them with contacts that you rarely wore, you’ve always hated that you struggled to put them in but it wasn’t so bad this time around.
“um, do you really have to wear such low rise jeans..? i can see your womb for pete’s sake !” mark sounded reminiscent of an overbearing dad the way he voiced his concerns, it was safe to say that he was definitely not a fan of this new look you were going for.
you playfully brushed him off, “quit being so dramatic, you’re just not used to seeing me like this is all !” you giggle at his overprotective nature, suddenly hearing a loud knock at your door from downstairs, “oh- that must be jay !”
you hummed a soft tune as you make your way down the stairs, swinging the door open to your best friend who’s grinning ear to ear, throwing your arms around his shoulders to embrace him in a hug.
“i see you actually took my advice,” jay says proudly, staring down your whole body as he examines your outfit, “we good to go ?” he asks, looking effortlessly cool in a pair of ripped black jeans and a white graphic tee that he bought from spencer’s.
“yup, i think so !” you nod in content, quickly grabbing your high-top converse that laid on the floor, they were a little beat up and had doodles all over them all because jay got bored one day and decided to scribble on the shoes without your knowledge. it added more character to them you suppose…
“i’d really appreciate if you stopped kidnapping my girlfriend all the time.” mark grumbles in annoyance, heading downstairs to kiss you goodbye. he possessively grabs ahold of your waist to show jay that he wasn’t the only man in your life that you adored— he hated that this has now become an unfriendly competition of who could gain your attention more.
jay scoffs, paying him little to no mind. “it isn’t kidnapping if she’s willingly going on her own accord, right ?” he said in his usual cocky tone, mark was getting more agitated by the second, if this were an animation, steam would’ve definitely been blowing out of his ears right now.
“listen dipshit i’ve had—”
“ok knock it off you two, enough !” you cut your boyfriend off before he could go any further, “you guys really need to stop, seriously..”
jay’s demeanor softens the minute he hears your voice, as if you’ve snapped him out of a trance, “he’s just jelly ‘cause he’s not invited, let’s go.” he links arms with yours whilst heading out the door, faintly hearing the jingle of his car keys clashing together as he swung them around with his free hand.
a part of you feels like you’ve created this whole mess between them, you’ve noticed this mini rivalry ever since you began dating mark. jay has never been one to give newcomers the warmest of welcomes, he’s constantly had this protective and territorial nature towards you, was just how he is. though sometimes, he’d take things a step too far. whenever he feels like you’re slowly drifting apart from him, he does everything in his power to drive a wedge between you and the other existing person. you and jay have always been a tight knit duo— a packaged deal if you will; and he isn’t too fond of other’s being added into the mix, he’d try convincing you that all you needed was each other— no one else ever mattered.
that was until you met your boyfriend mark of course, jay rarely ever conversed with him nor was he ever all that kind to him, but you managed to still work things out regardless of your best friend’s disapproval. in more blunt terms, you don’t think jay would’ve approved of anyone you date, he was harder to please than your own father and that in itself spoke volumes… on the contrary, you wouldn’t have much of an issue if jay were to magically show up with a girlfriend one day, but within these past two decades of knowing him you’ve never seen him date a single soul, he could literally have any girl he wanted, hell, they were practically lining up to even be near him. yet he didn’t bother giving one of them the time of day, he preferred his own solitude; except when he’s around you, that is.
๑ ๑ ๑
you had no idea what to anticipate when arriving to this place, but soon as you and jay walked into the establishment, you were invited with a completely different atmosphere than you expected. the way jay kept talking about this place you’d assume it’d be more of a nightclub ambiance but it was more or less like your average, run-of-the-mill bar where everyone went to watch the sports game on the weekend. sure there were a lot of people here but it just wasn’t the overall kind of vibe you mesh with. from it’s dingy, beer stained walls, to the generic pop music that blared through the speakers, there was a pool table in the corner occupied by a bunch of frat boys you recognized from school. your eyes landed on your past crush heeseung, who you never confessed to but still silently admired from afar to this day. you thought he was way out of your league, plus he was already dating someone else which made you harbor those secrets even deeper.
you sat at an empty booth, flipping open your phone to text mark who’s been asking nonstop if everything’s okay, though you’ve told him multiple times not to worry. there were a few girls who tried talking to jay but he seemed quite unamused by them, his mission was to talk to this band that he was fangirling over, you’ve never seen him this excited over anything.
“come with me,” jay suddenly pulls you out of your seat, making you go towards the front of the stage with him. he was smiling like an idiot, walking up to them confidently as he always did. there were a total of 5 women, all dressed in various types of leather and spikes, black filled their waterlines to look more edgy, their teased hair stayed in place with the shit ton of hairspray they used— pretty much your stereotypical rock band aesthetic. whether it was intentional or not, you didn’t know, but they definitely didn’t seem like the approachable type.
jay makes the first move, introducing himself along with your presence. “hi, i’m jay and this is my best friend y/n, i’m a huge fan of you guys ! i’m surprised you came out all the way here, aren’t you from the city ?” he sounded like such a groupie, you never took him as someone to kiss up to others, but there’s a first time for everything you suppose.
a woman with fluorescent pink hair spoke, you assumed it was the lead singer of the band since she held a microphone in her hand, “nice to meet you, i’m scarlett, but you can call me scar. yeah.. we’re a bit far out but we like to connect with fans all over, gotta start somewhere y’know?” jay nods, looking at her as if she held the key to a world he’s never seen before.
“can i buy you a drink ? the options are pretty slim but there’s these red and blue drinks that i think are kinda good. gotta drink ‘em fast though or else they turn this weird brownish color…” jay asks, hoping to give off the impression he’s older than he actually is.
“sure, thanks.” she replied, winking at him as she prepares to set up for the performance.
“great, i’ll be back right !” he turns around in a flash, tagging you along with him for the journey.
“uh, jay we aren’t over 21 yet..” you remind him, confused as how he was going to even pull this off, but he shuts down your doubtful attitude.
“i think you underestimate just how easily i can get anyone to do anything for me y/n.” he makes his way over to the bar with a confident stride, not even sweating the fact he may or may not be denied.
as jay was busy getting the drinks you overheard the lead singer, scarlett aka scar, talking to the bassist, you couldn’t help but get closer to eavesdrop on their conversation once you heard your best friend’s name being dropped mid convo.
“yeah that guy’s definitely a virgin, he talks big game but i know he doesn’t get girls..” she giggles to them. your brows furrowed in slight confusion and anger, not only was he being overly friendly with them but they were taking his kindness as a sign of weakness.
“hey that’s my friend you’re talking about, bitch !” you intervened, quickly coming to his defense, “whether he is one or not, it’s none of your damn business and he’s sure as hell not going to sleep with some washed up skanks like you.” you couldn’t believe those words even came out your mouth, but when it came to jay, you weren’t just going to sit back and let them talk about him like that.
“what’s going on ?” jay interrupts, coming back with the drinks as he noticed a sudden shift in your behavior.
“they were just talking about you !” you point over to the girls, still fuming with rage, “they said you were a virgin !”
“oh.. i mean does getting sucked off in the locker rooms by half the cheer team count ??” he jokes, snickering to himself when he remembers that moment.
you face palm, “that’s not the point, jay !” you were genuinely getting upset, why would it even matter if he was one or not ? why were they so hung up on knowing that to begin with ?
before you could say anything else or speculate any further, the lights suddenly dimmed, and the band introduces themselves to the crowd that was formed around you. scar went on a whole spiel about how they’re so grateful to be here and saying how they hope to bring more fans with this performance, they were promoting their new single, ‘bloody roses’ which you thought was a pretty corny and cliché title but nonetheless you were only here in support of your friend.
as the band started playing their first song, everyone began head banging to the music, including jay who was more than excited to be here. maybe it was because of the previous encounter you just had with them, but the music wasn’t necessarily hitting for you. it wasn’t the genre per se, you enjoyed bands such as hole, nirvana, and metallica, but they just seemed like complete rip offs of those said bands. it seemed like you were the only one who thought this way considering everyone else was vibing around you— especially jay who was singing along to every lyric word for word. you seriously couldn’t wait for this night to be over with..
not even ten minutes later, you heard a blood curdling scream off in the distance. your body stilled with uncertainty, wondering what could’ve possibly triggered such harrowing emotions, yet that was soon dissolved once you saw the burst of flames invading your vision. a rush of panic kicks in as you finally register what exactly was going on and the only thing on your mind was to get the hell out of here. everyone else had the same idea as you, bodies scrambling left and right, hurriedly trying to find an entry to freedom. you checked to see if jay was following behind you still but he wasn’t, he was gone. and so was the band.
you shouted his name as loud as you could, eyes becoming bleary whilst trying to find the nearest exit, pushing all the other attendees out of the way as the only thing you cared about in this moment was getting to safety and finding jay. you remembered that the bathrooms had a small window so you made a mad dash to the stalls, praying to god that you’d be able to fit through.
surprisingly there was no one else there, grabbing a step stool from the corner to help you climb up and ease your way out. profusely coughing from the smoke that lingered underneath the door, you use all your strength to pry the window open, body running solely off adrenaline. relief washes over you when you’re able to successfully get it to crack just enough to squeeze your body through, gasping for oxygen once you’re finally met with the outside world again.
you looked back and see that the entire bar is now ablaze– with people still inside. you watched as parts of the building collapsed, crumbling to the ground as more people were coming out. you’ve never witnessed anything more horrifying, hearing the cries of others shouting for help as they were locked in with no way out. some were so badly burned that they looked unrecognizable, their scorched skin bubbling from the third degree burns. you couldn’t bear to see such chaos but you couldn’t look away. this sight was going to be engrained into your memory for the rest of your life..
anxiety struck through you when you realize jay was still nowhere to be seen, you still had your cellphone in your pocket which you debated on calling 911, but you assumed they’d already be on the way with paramedics. you were surprised to have even made it out alive, but you hoped to god that jay was also able to escape the inferno. when an arm reaches out to suddenly grab your wrist, your first reaction was to scream loudly. still suffering from the shock of what you just experienced.
“chill the fuck out, it’s just me y/n!” you instantly recognized jay’s voice, turning around to face him. you couldn’t believe it was really him, completely unscathed just like you. you immediately wrap your arms around him, holding him tighter than ever before. you’d be able to rest easy now knowing that you two were perfectly okay.
“i was looking for you, had me worried sick !” your eyes brimmed with tears again, but it was more so tears of happiness. you wouldn’t know what you’d do if you didn’t have your best friend with you anymore.
“i’m sorry… we should’ve stuck together. i didn’t mean to abandon you..” he didn’t sound like his usual self, this time he was more frantic, just as much in shock as you were.
“oh thank god you two are alright !” scar, the singer of that shitty band runs up to the both of you, “you guy’s should come back to my van, it’s safer there.” she proposes, helping you back up on your feet as you were too weak to do so on your own.
you shook your head at that idea. “no way, i’m getting out of here, come on jay!” you grab his hand but he doesn’t follow along.
“actually, i think i’m gonna go with them..” he says, letting go of your hand to head towards the van with the other girls.
“are you crazy ?!” you couldn’t believe he’d choose them over you, even if he was a huge fan, it still didn’t make sense for him to leave with them rather than his own damn best friend. you felt betrayed.
“look i’m in survival mode just as much as you right now, we gotta get going before anything else happens !” scarlett rushes to the driver’s side whilst the others hopped in the back along with jay, who seemed perfectly fine with getting in a vehicle with some random strangers he just met.
you’re steady calling after him but he doesn’t listen nor budge, simply watching as the van speeds off. knowing deep down in your gut that something awful was going to ensue…
๑ ๑ ๑
it’s been two painstakingly long hours and still no call or text from jay. the worry was only building up inside you. what if something bad really did happen ? what if he needed your help and you left him all alone to fend for himself ? the guilt was slowly starting to eat you up, consuming your already troubled mind. but then again, you thought you may be overthinking as you usually do. he was probably having the time of his life, probably even went to some after party with them. the betrayal of him leaving you still lingered in your thoughts. how could he have done this to you ? maybe he really was the selfish jerk that mark always painted him out to be. but maybe you were just as bad for letting him leave like that. you should’ve been more assertive, now you won’t be getting any sleep tonight until you know for sure that jay will be fine.
you decide to call mark, needing to get all of this off your chest before you drove yourself anymore mentally insane than you already are. he picked up on the last ring, assuming that he was most likely asleep by now.
“hello ?” the sound of his sleepy voice gave you a sense of comfort, which is exactly what you needed at this time.
“hey..” you spoke softly, unsure of what to even say right now. you didn’t want to say anything straight away, you had to lean in towards that kind of conversation first.
“how was the concert ?” he asks, yawning as he kept talking.
you paused for a second, knowing that you’ll worry him the minute you finally express what happened hours ago. “there was a fire...”
“what ?!” there was absolutely nothing that could’ve prepared him for that, now he’s the one in full-blown panic mode.
“yeah..” was all you said in return, still trying to wrap your head around everything. the mental image of all those people still trapped inside, unknowing of their indefinite fate will forever stick with you.
“holy fuck.. you’re okay, right ?!” you could hear his body shifting under the sheets as he fully woke up from hearing this tragic news. he would’ve never been able to forgive himself had you not survived, he’d spend all of eternity blaming himself for it.
“yeah.. i’m fine. there was a stampede, you could hear their bones breaking and people running out the building as they were still on fire.. i don’t even wanna know how many didn’t make it out..” you felt sick to your stomach, you should’ve done more to help but all you thought about was saving yourself, how selfish…
“fuck.. i’m so sorry you had to see that y/n, i’m just really glad that you were able to get out of there…”
“jay left with that band but i told him not to.. he hasn’t spoken to me since then and i’m really worried, we have to go save him !” you couldn’t shake this ominous feeling that something went horribly wrong, you had to trust your instincts on this one.
“who cares about jay ! people died !” mark was baffled by how you were still only thinking about him when the main person you should be worrying about is yourself.
he then proceeded to go on an endless tirade about how horrible of a friend jay is and that he knew he shouldn’t have let you go there with someone as untrustworthy as him. you just “okay” and “alright” your way out of everything he said, but you still had this deep inkling that you were right and you need to be there to rescue him. there was no real proof that he’d be in any danger, but something just seemed so off about that group as a whole..
that’s when you heard the sudden buzz of your doorbell, thinking it may just be your roommate who forgot her key, though it was quite late and you wouldn’t expect her to be coming back around at this time of night. you stilled in your bed, internally debating whether or not you should go down there to investigate; but you ultimately decide to do so anyway.
“shh, wait— mark i think i hear someone at the door...” you tell him as you hesitantly get up, putting on your bunny slippers and slipping on a robe before slowly creaking the door open.
“who is it?” he asks, just as confused as you were.
“i-i don’t know.. that’s what i’m trying to find out..” you whisper, heading into the hallway, producing quiet footsteps as you held onto the railing that lead downstairs.
the air around you felt suffocating, only met with a grim silence whilst putting one foot in front of the other. each step you took became increasingly more cautious, you had no idea why you were such a nervous wreck or why you thought there’d be an imminent threat lurking your way, but the way your heart was thudding rapidly out of your chest made your flight or fight senses fly off the radar.
finally making it to the door, you suck in a bated breath, swallowing the thick lump that sat in the back of your throat. your hands shakily curled around the shiny knob but the minute you open it you’re left feeling even more uneasy as there wasn’t anything nor anyone at your doorstep. just pitch black darkness greeting you, along with the chilling sound of trees rustling through the wind. a heavy, lingering fog accompanied the atmosphere, sending an uncomfortable shiver down your spine.
you were puzzled, feeling as though someone was playing a sick joke on you. you could’ve sworn you heard it, unless you really were going crazy after all. you knew that you were a little loose around the edges, but there’s no way that you could’ve made that up— it was far too realistic. soon as you were about to brush this whole thing off and chalk it up as just a freak accident, your ears detected faint shuffling, movement coming from a far distance. this time coming from inside the confines of your own home.
…what in the actual fuck is going on right now ?
“i just heard something from the kitchen..” you made sure to keep your voice low, mind and body riddled with the fear of the unknown as you clutched onto the phone harder than ever. you couldn’t see much of anything, but you followed whatever the hell was making all that commotion.
“don’t go near it ? what the fuck, that’s horror movie 101 knowledge. never go to the noise !” mark warns but you don’t take his advice, instead you slowly crept into the living room, remaining vigilant of every move you take.
the noise only grew louder and since you knew that your roommate wasn’t here, this only made your panic heighten, afraid that there may be a possible intruder. carefully stepping into the kitchen without making a sound, your hands scramble to find the switch, turning on the light to reveal the cause of your worry. the noise stopped the minute you were able to see again, and an instant sigh of relief leaves you once you notice it was just a leaky faucet, screwing the handle to shut it back in place. but that relief would soon deem itself short lived when you hear that same cacophony of sounds from earlier, again.
you spun around to see your fridge wide open, and someone actively rummaging through it. your body froze in place, simply unable to move no matter how hard you tried to relax your muscles. it was as if something were controlling you, telling you not to move an inch; like it was protecting you from whatever may be on the other side. scraps of food met the tiled floors, containers and cartons being tossed and thrown in a rampage. as the refrigerator finally came to a close, you were more than shocked to see that it was none other than jay, who’s covered in dried blood from head to toe.
“mark.. i’ll call you back i gotta go..” you muttered quickly to your boyfriend, feeling the need to tend to your friend who’s clearly not in the best of conditions right now.
“what?! no, don’t hang up y/n, please don-” you hang up on him before he could even finish. you were slowly able to regain your strength again, tiptoeing towards the boy who hasn’t even bothered to look up at you yet.
he looked more than unwell, as if he had just survived the most brutal attack of his life. his actions resembled nothing of a human, watching as he mindlessly consumed whatever he could find in his wake. he came across a pack of raw chicken that you’ve yet to open, savagely tearing through it, devouring the meat with his bare hands. you weren’t sure how to react to any of this, but you knew that he was exhibiting anything but normal behavior.
“what are you doing ?!” you finally broke the quietness that filled the room, but you were met with no response in return.
upon hearing your startled voice, he stopped eating and averts his gaze to you. his eyes were soulless, no emotion throughout him whatsoever, looking at you as if he’s never seen you before. instead of getting up he crawls over to you, still refusing to utter a single word. your lips part to speak again but you notice a shift in his odd aura, he began coughing in the most grotesque way possible, as if he were trying to get something to leave out of his body. that’s when he starts to profusely vomit, everywhere. it wasn’t just any normal vomit though, it was a black, spiny fluid, spread all over the tiles and even spilling onto your clothes.
“jay what the hell’s wrong with you ?!” you yell at him but it was no use. he was never going to answer you, it was like he was possessed by some kind of spirit.
he finally got up on his feet, never breaking eye contact with you, his dark pupils pierced through you like the sharp edge of a butcher knife. jay could smell the fear you emitted, it only made him want to gravitate towards you more. the only sane option that ran through your mind was to call the police, taking several steps backward from his presence, but of course he doesn’t let you do that. he only moves faster, pushing you up against the wall with superhuman aggression. he grabs ahold of your wrist tightly, forcing you to drop your phone, a loud thud produced as it made contact with the ground. he remained silent throughout the whole ordeal, flashing you an eerie smile, only a hairs breadth away from meeting your plush lips.
you whimpered in fear, but he keeps shushing you, petting the crown of your head like you were a crying, wounded animal in need. “are you scared?” he whispers into you ear, already knowing the answer to that. he only continues to taunt you, licking a long, slow paced stripe along the base of your neck, coating his saliva onto your soft, shivering skin.
he wouldn’t go any further than that, simply letting go of you and backing away as if he just now was able to acknowledge what he’s done. his breathing grew heavier, unable to even look at you, it felt as though he couldn’t control his own body anymore. before you could do anything, he swiftly heads out of the back door, leaving without a trace.
“jay !” you try to call after him, but to no avail, you were left all alone, traumatized for the second time of the night.
you’ve went through the five stages of grief all in under a minute, unsure of what to even do in this moment. you’re standing here, confused, overwhelmed, and mortified— but now there’s black vomit all over your kitchen floor and on yourself. you weeped again, hopelessly trying to piece together the fragments of what the fuck just happened moments ago.
๑ ๑ ๑
the next day everyone’s talking about the fire at school. many were mourning the losses of their precious loved ones, sobbing uncontrollably from the horrific events that occurred from the night before. you sat in physics class with jay, who acted as if nothing even happened last night, carrying on as he normally did. your professor mr. choi, took a moment to speak about what happened, mentioning the saddening news that took place not even 24 hours ago. what was even more odd was that jay was smirking the entire time, attempting to hold in his laughter as he heard the professor speak, you hit his arm in response of his apathy.
“this isn’t funny..” you scold him for being so insensitive, “people died, jay ! it’s all over the news, we even made it internationally…”
he rolls his eyes, “yeah, so? people die everyday y/n, they’re not special. i’ll give it a week max and i bet you no one will be talking about it anymore.”
how could he even say something like that ? especially knowing that he knew some of the people who passed away, your beloved peers who fought for their lives at the very last seconds of being alive. it was more than insensitive, it was just plain cruel.
“what’s wrong with you ?!” you looked at him as if he’s gone mad, which he quite literally has considering what took place at your apartment last night. you haven’t mentioned it to him yet but you were reluctant on doing so, he’d probably deny everything anyway.
“what’s wrong with you ?? god.. did someone piss in your cereal this morning?” he wasn’t even remotely phased by anything you were saying, if anything, he saw it as one big mockery.
you scoff in response, mumbling something under your breath as you listen to the professor continue on with his speech. you always knew jay was the type to never wear his emotions on his sleeve, but it really rubbed you the wrong way at how he didn’t seem to shed an ounce of care about any of the people who lost their lives so abruptly.
“stop talking to yourself, makes you look even more like a weirdo,” jay quickly comments, he was irritating you the more he kept talking. if you weren’t in this classroom right now, you’d be cursing him out and giving him hell to pay— but you simply kept your mouth shut for the time being. there’s a time and place for certain things..
your melancholy only worsened as the day went by, feeling this heavy, cinder block weight of depression carried on your shoulders. the more you thought of it, the more shitty you felt. anyone would have survivor’s guilt after what you’d gone through, but it only multiplied as it fully settled in, you felt guilty for even doing something as minuscule as breathing. you truly believed that you didn’t deserve to survive, that it should’ve be you in place of someone else… why didn’t you help anyone ?
once class was dismissed, you hurried up out of your seat to go meet up with your boyfriend. jay followed behind you like a lapdog of course, but you didn’t want to speak to him. you debated on confronting him about yesterday, though you decided not to as you weren’t even sure where to begin.. you’d like to think that this was all just some intense fever dream you had but you know it wasn’t.
you physically remember being there, in your kitchen, sobbing to yourself while cleaning up the mess that jay left. you couldn’t go back to sleep after that, not after the way he looked at you like that. vividly picturing the devil’s carved grin plastered on his face, like he was going to rip your heart out of your small body and eat you alive. if you’re being completely honest, you were more fearful of your own life in that moment than you were at the bar.
even if you did tell him what happened, there’s a slim chance he’d take any responsibility for his own actions. his pride would never let him. you remember when you were kids he’d always make you get into so much trouble with him, but the minute you two got caught he’d simply deny everything and pin it all on you. jay was always able to manipulate his way out of just about anything— sociopaths are quite charismatic. you’d often joke with him that he was one, to which he’d never deny or confirm. deep down you’d hope that your own best friend wasn’t, but those old memories gave you all the same reminiscing feelings you felt years ago. or maybe, you were just as demented as he is.. birds of a feather flock together, right ?
๑ ๑ ๑
jay would only become increasingly possessive as time went on. he’s always exhibited quite clingy behaviors but things only snowballed from the night at the bar and onwards. he’d constantly be blowing up your phone, texting you the weirdest, most cryptic shit at 4 in the morning; or if you didn’t respond fast enough for his liking, he’d call you over twenty times until you finally answered, not caring at all if you were with mark. he only made you feel more guilty if you expressed needing space, simply threatening to harm himself or make it seem as if it’d be your fault if something bad were to happen and you didn’t pick up the phone. you don’t know what’s gotten into him lately, but he surely hasn’t been acting like himself ever since he interacted with that band.
a month has flown by and you notice jay was starting to look paler than a ghost, the dark circles under his eyes made it seem as though he hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep in months. he looked like death. as if his own flesh was eating him from the inside out. you thought maybe it could be due to stress of some kind, but it wasn’t humanly possible for him to change this drastically. he resembled nothing short of a sickly patient lying on their deathbed, awaiting the grim reaper to come knocking at their doorstep at any minute. he lost a lot of muscle mass as well, turning into a weaker, much more frail version of himself. it truly pained you to see him in such a state, how sunken in his face was, gaunt like a skeleton. an unbearable sight indeed..
“you look like shit..” you tried to say it the nicest way possible but there was no other way to express your concerns, “you okay.. ?”
“gee thanks, and yeah, never been better actually.” jay replied, his tone laced with the utmost sarcasm.
obviously you don’t take his word for it. you know there’s something deeper going on but you didn’t impose any further. you didn’t want him to get upset or agitated with anymore of your prying, so you let it go for now.
the distressing environment around campus only thickens when a brutal murder was reported a few weeks ago. the sight of a decomposing body was found in the middle of the woods, right behind the football field. one of the professors discovered it as they took a walk along the trail— later identified to be soojin, the pretty little captain of the cheer team. her organs were scattered all over the perimeters, painting the greenery with a bold, crimson hue. some parts of her corpse weren’t able to be located, as most of her disemboweled body was eaten by the hungry animals, feasting on her rotting flesh like they just scored a full course meal.
this only caused an uproar of mass hysteria throughout the school, leaving everyone to believe that there may be something even more sinister going on. a vigil was held for her just as there was for the other victims who died in the fire; friends, family, and other town folk gathered around in memory of her. a police investigation was launched shortly after, but there haven’t been many updates on the case so far as no foul play was detected. the authorities simply assumed it to be an animal attack— albeit one of the most gruesome and barbaric attacks they’ve ever seen in their careers.
when you spoke to jay about it one night, you discussed all possible theories you’ve been brainstorming in your head. you believed it very well could’ve been an animal that did it, possibly a wild bear that just enjoys munching on humans for dinner— but he told you that was far from likely. however, you thought maybe he was only saying that just to instill more fear in you, which secretly worked.
you didn’t completely dismiss the possibility of it being some bloodthirsty animal.. she was torn limb from limb with absolutely no sign of weapons being used, so the likeliness of a regular person being able to do something of that caliber with their own bare hands made it almost slim to none. you truly thought her death was one of the saddest ways to go out.. you never spoke to soojin a day in your life but she was pretty popular and fairly well liked amongst everyone, you’d never guess her of all people would end up with a fate like this.
as you trudged through the halls, you bumped into one of your classmates ryujin, who’s been asking nonstop if you could set her up with jay. you’ve known for a while that she’s always had a thing for him and was hoping you could play cupid and be the middle man for her. you’d been putting it off for a while since you highly doubted that he’d reciprocate those same feelings, but being the good sport you are, you end up telling her that you’ll talk to jay, although you couldn’t make any promises.
upon meeting up with jay later on in the day, you proposed the idea to him, but of course, he declined almost straight away saying he wasn’t interested. he referred to her as that ‘weird, stoner goth chick who tries too hard’ and wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole. you definitely expected him to be adverse to your idea, but maybe not to this extent. you just wanted to see your friend happy but of course jay always has to ruin it…
however, not even an hour later, he ends up agreeing to it, as if a switch had flipped in his brain. you thought it was a bit strange how he’d simply gone from one extreme to the next but you didn’t question it as you had no reason to. ultimately, you were just happy for ryujin, at least she’d get to spend some alone time with her crush.
you on the other hand, had a multitude of worries of your own. you and mark were supposed to go see the new twilight movie in theaters, just to get your mind off everything— yet what you felt most anxious about was what’ll occur afterwards. you were planning on losing your virginity tonight, feeling as though you were ready to take the next step with him. well, at least you thought so.. but now you weren’t even feeling sure of that anymore. a part of you felt pressured to just lose it already and since you were dating mark, you may as well do it, right ? if only it were that simple..
๑ ๑ ๑
your nerves were at an all time high as you laid beneath his bare form. inhaling, exhaling, and repeating those same steps over and over. your mind was racing a million miles per minute, staring up at the ceiling as you rethink all of your life decisions.
everything seemed fine at first, until it wasn’t..
you couldn’t seem to put your finger on it, but all you knew was that this felt strange.. something doesn’t feel right.. all you could do was lay there, utterly detached from reality.
numbness.. that’s all you felt..
you wanted to crawl into your own skin and die, you shouldn’t be so repulsed by your own boyfriend being on top of you— but that was the only emotion you bore.
everything felt so foreign to you, his touch, the way he caressed you, it didn’t feel right. you couldn’t shake this odd sensation, it was something you didn’t want for yourself. you wanted to puke, absolutely sick to your stomach.
he kissed your neck, but you don’t feel a thing. completely stoic and emotionless. all you’re thinking about right now is jay. you had this inclination that something went terribly wrong and you needed an escape.
“i-i can’t do this.. i’m sorry..” you finally say out loud, quickly pushing him off of you before anything else could continue.
“did i do something wrong ?” mark asks, confused by your sudden coldness.
you simply don’t answer, scrambling to put on your clothes and leaving his house in a hurry to go and run to your car. you began driving in the direction of jay’s dorm, not knowing whether he’d be there or not. the limited amount of streetlights made it even more difficult to see, but you spot a shadowy figure heading towards you on the main road.
in a rush of panic you slammed onto the brakes hard, trying not to run over whatever’s coming towards the vehicle, thinking it was probably a deer or something—but you see that it’s jay, his clothes stained in blood just like night he was in your kitchen. you immediately got out of the car to go help him but he was no longer there anymore, as if he’s vanished into thin air.
confusion doesn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling.. reluctantly heading back home, hoping that it was all some vivid hallucination that you were having— but the minute you went upstairs into your room, you see jay sitting on your bed, not a single drop of blood detected anywhere on him anymore.
“what are you doing here ?” you ask, blankly staring down at him over the rim of your glasses.
“just wanted to drop by and see my favorite girl.” he smiles crookedly, looking much healthier than he did when you saw him earlier, “what’s wrong with that, hm?”
“why’re you in my bed ? just go back to your dorm jay.” you didn’t have time for his little games right now, you just wanted to shut the whole world out.
“but i wanna stay… plus we always used to sleep together when we had sleep overs.” he pouts, proceeding to get even more comfortable as he had no plans on leaving anytime soon.
“is that my grateful dead t-shirt?” you get a bit closer to examine, growing irritated that he went through your stuff without even asking.
he doesn’t respond, at least not in the way you think he would. instead, jay harshly pressed his lips against yours. stretching the neckline of your shirt to pull all your weight on top of his. he managed to have some self control at first, but that didn’t last too long as he savored the taste of you. hesitantly, you kissed him back, whimpering at the feel of his tongue prodding at your lips, begging for entry. your mouth slightly parts, giving him just enough leeway for him to devour you in the sloppiest, most depraved way possible. he kissed you hard, hard enough to knock the wind out of you. nothing but raw passion and burning desire throughout.
his lips moved in perfect harmony with yours, tangling your hands into his messy, raven locks. jay would only grow more unhinged, never letting you gasp for air for more than half a second. he explored the depths of you, every nook and cranny, like he wanted you down to the marrow, swallowing you whole. he felt this primal urge in wanting to bite you, to sign your death with his teeth— but he resisted, at least not yet anyway.
when his hands came up to find your hips, his touch felt scorching hot against your skin… lifting your skirt up inch by inch. then the realization of what you’re doing finally hits, that you have a goddamn boyfriend and this isn’t something you should ever be doing with your best friend. quickly getting off of him, shouting in protest.
“jay, what the fuck ?!” you were horrified, not even wanting to look at him anymore.
“language y/n !” he giggles at your filthy vocabulary, licking his lips to capture your taste once more, “don’t act like you weren’t enjoying it either.”
“but i’ll admit, the reason i’m here exactly is.. i have a confession to make..” he takes a dramatic pause before continuing, “i haven’t been completely honest with you, and you’re the only one i can trust.”
you look at him strangely, unsure of what he fully meant by that, “what is it..”
“i’m dead.”
now you’re staring at him as if he just said the most absurd shit you ever heard, which quite literally it was.
“huh ? what do you mean you’re dead?”
“what do you not understand y/n, it’s pretty self explanatory.” he casually says if he were simply talking about the weather.
“i’m not sure i follow..” you didn’t get where he was heading with any of this, hoping that it’s just some joke with a bad punchline.
“it means i’m dead— as in not alive.” he repeats nonchalantly.
“jay, shut up. you’re not funny.” crossing your arms in annoyance, growing more impatient with him by the second.
“it’s true, i swear !”
“you’re ridiculous..” you’ve had enough of his little shenanigans, ready to walk away from him but he grabs you at the last minute, forcibly bringing you back to meet his gaze.
“just listen, it’ll all make sense soon,” he pleads, flashing you a sweet, puppy eyed look that could make anyone fold almost instantly.
“‘kay.. fine whatever.” you heave a sigh, sitting back down on your bed, still a bit reluctant on hearing him out.
“there’s something inside me… an evil entity,” he explains further, “ever since that night at the bar my body feels.. different.” he proceeds to tell you this dumb story that you weren’t buying for a second.
“c’mon, you really expect to believe tha-”
he cuts you off, proceeding to go on a whole tangent, “remember that band i told you about ? they drove me out to the creek, dragged me out of the van and offered me as a virgin sacrifice in exchange for fame and fortune. they kept telling me how hard it was to make it as an indie band so this was the only option they had left.. all i can remember afterwards was how much pain i was in… they each took turns stabbing me to death, singing some creepy chant as they did it, then they lit me on fire.. but the problem is that i’m not a virgin, so when scar and her little gang murdered me the ritual backfired and a demonic spirit took over my body. i was able to escape the forest but i left feeling so hungry.. so on my way back home, i saw some girl on the opposite side of the pavement, she looked quite edible so i ate her. and that’s how i started eating human flesh.”
you had no words. your only reaction was to blink rapidly at everything he just told you. there’s no way he could be telling you the truth, stuff like that only happens in movies, pure fiction. “that’s the craziest fucking story you’ve ever made up in your entire life jay.”
he seemingly grows frustrated at the fact you aren’t taking his words seriously, but he kept on talking anyway. “i’m being serious y/n, you’ve gotta believe me ! they’re basically agents of satan, they simply used me as a pawn. i was their gateway to the lifestyle they so desperately wanted to achieve..”
“so what you’re saying is that you’ve been reincarnated as a demonic spirit that feeds off of human flesh ? that’s what you’re trying to get at ??” you ask, confirming his very weird, but oddly specific narrative.
jay nods, “yes, that’s precisely what i’m trying to say.”
“so.. you’re telling me you’re the one who killed soojin ?” you question outrightly, hoping at the very least he had nothing to do with it, but if what he is saying was true that could very well be a possibility.
he nods again, “yep. and ryujin.”
your blood ran cold the minute upon hearing that, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets, “wait- what ?!”
“yeah, i only agreed to meet up with her just to eat her. so it’s practically your fault that she’s dead.” he shrugs, seeing it as if it was no big deal.
you couldn’t comprehend a single thing your ears were hearing right now.. your own classmate was dead and gone because of your best friend.
“you’re a fucking monster.. she had a whole life ahead of her. hopes and dreams just like the rest of us..”
“well, now she’s food for worms, sucks to suck,” jay shrugs again, speaking so nonchalant about everything it made you want to scream at the top of your lungs.
disgusted didn’t even amount up to what you felt, sitting there in silence trying to process all of this.
“anyway, wanna see something cool?” he asks, not even bothering to await your response as you gave him the most questionable look of all mankind.
“i can withstand any injury without pain and i’m difficult to kill, see.” he takes one of your gel pens from your nightstand and stabs it straight into his own wrist, he was bleeding heavily at first but then the wounds start to close up within a few seconds, eventually fading away as if he didn’t just stab himself at all.
“see ! how cool is that ?? like some x-men type shit,” he says like a giddy school kid, bragging over his new abilities. “when i’m full, i’m practically invincible. i’m a fucking god.”
again, you were too stunned to speak. you genuinely thought you were losing your mind at this point, there’s no way any of this is real. it’s all a bad dream. you just need to pinch yourself and you’ll wake up, right ..?
“oh by the way, that night i snuck into your place, i was having all sorts of thoughts.. even thought about hurting you but i could never do that..” he finally admits to the night when he went into your kitchen, “i was just so hungry but nothing would satisfy my craving..” his eyes were a window to the truth, and by the looks of how empty they were, it was safe to assume you still had every right to frightened.
“jay, i- i really think you should leave…” your whole body was practically shaking, you couldn’t bear to look but you were far more terrified of looking away— falling apart at the seams.
he doesn’t even budge a little upon hearing you, “oh c’monn y/n, let me stay the night; we can play boyfriend and girlfriend like we used to… good times am i right ?” he strokes your hand with his, not even fully understanding the gravity of what he’s done or said this whole time.
“jay you’re freaking me the fuck out !” you raise your voice louder, removing yourself away from his touch. how could you let a literal murderer touch you ?
“there’s no need for you to be. i already told you that i’m not gonna hurt you.. at least not in that way..” jay clung onto you again, this time dragging you back down onto the bed as he forced himself on top of you.
you scrunch your eyes shut at the feel of his hands on you, idle fingers sneaking under the hem of your top. a surge of heat flushes down your thighs, blood rushing to your cheeks... and to your core. god, you were so embarrassed right now.
“w-what are you doing …?” you breathe out, opening your eyes once again, only to see him staring straight into your soul.
“don’t get all shy on me now.. we’re just havin’ a bit of fun,” he answers, “just messing around like the old days, right ?” he slid his index finger under the band of your skirt, pulling you closer to him, his lips only centimeters away from yours.
“jay no, please-” you begin, but don’t have the time to finish your sentence.
“shh, it’s okay, i’ll take the lead. we can go slow… i promise i won’t bite. unless you want me to.” he darkly chuckles, tilting his head to the side, pressing a light kiss to your lips. surprisingly, you reciprocate it. he pulls his hand away from your skirt, enveloping it around your throat, not putting too much pressure around it just yet. “see, i knew you’d be into it, you’re my little freak, aren’t you ?”
you hated that you were getting aroused from this, the way he spoke to you in that husky tone. that same bubbling heat rushing to your core again.. you wanted to fight it, you truly did, but you couldn’t. your mind was telling you one thing but your body was reacting differently, as if you were under some spell that he casted.
you don’t know what to answer to that. is there even anything you can even say back to him ? you couldn’t speak even if you wanted to. and besides, what’s the point of lying when he has you trapped between his large body and your mattress, his fingers gripping your neck, his lips brushing over your face, would you really be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying this ? he practically knows you better than your own self at times, of course he’d be able to tell…
he kisses you again, but this time much hungrier, his tongue dominating yours easily. he nudges your legs open with his knee, his other hand swiftly diving under the hem of your skirt, groping your soft flesh in a lewd way that keeps you out of breath— apart from the fact that his tongue is currently exploring your mouth.
he grazes the bump of your pussy covered by your lace panties with his fingers, making your knees buckle at the unexpected contact. you wanted to close your legs shut, but when he slowly rubs the pad of his middle finger over your clit, a desperate whine escapes your throat, muffled by his mouth on yours. the moment only brief until he dips his hand into your underwear.
you try to make him stop by grabbing ahold of his wrist, pulling away from his lips to pathetically whisper a ‘p-please’ that only makes him chuckle in response.
“mm.. already begging for me, sweetheart ?” he softly laughs, smirking at you. “excited by the idea of my fingers in your little cunt instead of your boyfriend’s ? hm ?”
you frown because that wasn’t the reason why you begged him, but now that he said this... your thoughts are going into a completely different direction. what the hell’s wrong with you ?
“you wanna know how it feels, baby? what it’s like to have your pussy stuffed by someone else’s fingers…” his dirty talk only continues, you couldn’t fathom this was really jay speaking to you in such a vulgar manner like this. your best friend who’s about to take your virginity whether you wanted it to happen or not, he was going to make sure that mark could never have you in such a way, wanted to ruin it for everyone else like he always does.
he’s not waiting for a response as he starts stroking your bundle of nerves in slow circular motions, applying some pressure to really make you feel it. you let out another whine, this time of genuine pleasure.
jay then shifts down to your entrance, circling it with a lot of delicacy, but this gentleness of his doesn’t go on for too long as he pushes a finger into you without warning. you bit down on your bottom lip harshly— the size of his fingers in no comparison to yours. your eyes swelled with water, faint little cries escaping your mouth when he adds a second digit.
“i know, i know,” he whispers, “must be uncomfortable, hm?” you nod your head, confirming his words. “it’ll feel good soon, i promise. you’re probably only used to the feel of your tiny fingers, it’s normal…”
when he says this, you have a hard time believing him. how could it feel good when you weren’t at all prepared for this— when it’s not what you wanted..
he begins moving his fingers in and out of you, slow and long strokes at first, circling your clit with his thumb at the same time. he’d curls his fingers every so often, making a little hook shape, patting your sweet spot. the intrusion was uncomfortable, but it progressively gets so much more pleasurable as he thrusts into you at a regular pace.
tears continued to flow, falling down to your cheeks, lashes all wet and sticky, but they weren’t the result of your pain…
“god.. look at you. so pretty when you cry,” jay murmurs beside your ear, butterflies swirling in your stomach when he tells you this.
he unwraps his hand from your throat to instead grab your thigh, placing your leg around his shoulder. you now feel his fingers way deeper inside of you, gently and deliciously stimulating your g spot. you dare to look down where his left hand is operating between your thighs, sliding in until he’s knuckles deep into your pussy. this makes you breathless, head rolling back onto your pillows, having never experienced anything like this before.
“o-oh my god-!” you exclaim when jay’s ministrations bring you so close to your orgasm. your legs couldn’t stop twitching, your body warning you of your approaching high.
you’d probably be more aware of how hard he was if it weren’t trapped in his loosely fitting jeans, but you literally cannot focus on anything else other than jay fingering you, hitting your sensitive spots each time he thrusts in.
“that’s it, baby,” he coaxes, moving faster. “you feel it ? huh?” he asks and you’re able to croak out a weak ‘yes’. “tell me how it feels.”
you hate his questions— you hate them so damn much. he knows how you feel, but he wants you to say it, he wants you to say that you enjoy it, and… your body really does.
“g-good.”
“yeah?” he breathes out, fucking your cunt with his fingers, enthralled by the little moans and whimpers you let out.
“yes,” you confirm, closing your eyes and slowly nodding your head. “fuck !” you curse out when you finally reach your high, nails digging into his forearm as you ride out your orgasm, your entire body violently shaking.
jay helps you by slowly rubbing your puffy dewy clit in circles, telling you more dirty words in your ear, all while said in the sweetest tone, as if what he’s doing can be described as anything sweet.
“good girl,” he praises, “see, i told you it’d feel great.”
he still has his head in the crook of your neck, and you frown at the feeling of sharp teeth against your skin. it’s barely there, just brushing over it, as if hesitating to act… but jay retrieves back, looking into your reddened eyes.
he could simply stop there, but he won’t— not until he fully got what he wanted, he needs more…
he pulls his hand out of your panties, fingers glistening with your arousal. “open wide for me, baby,” he instructs.
you glance at his hand, a little repulsed. you’ve never thought about tasting yourself and it’s surely nothing you’d have ever done… if not for him.
you then reluctantly open your mouth and he enters his wet fingers in.
“suck,” he adds on, expecting you to blindly follow all of his orders, and you do so without a second thought.
he stares down at you while you lick his fingers clean and he slides them a bit deeper, pushing down on your tongue. the taste of yourself isn’t what you thought it’d be… it doesn’t taste like much of anything, in fact.
he removes his fingers from your mouth only to put them in his own after. “just as sweet as you are,” he grins. “stand up for me, wan’ you to suck me off.”
your wobbly legs do their best at balancing themselves, slowly getting up only to be told to get back down on your knees. you sink down to the ground, leaning over to eye his stiff erection through his pants, slowly rubbing your hand over it as you palm him in your grasp. he hisses at the feel, already loving how you obediently take orders, how you’ve become nothing but a mindless slut for him.
you didn’t know the first thing you were doing but you did what felt natural, so you free his cock from the confines of his pants and underwear, watching as it sprung out and slapped against his stomach. jay was huge. his veiny, pink dick standing tall in front of you, gulping as you debate on how you’re going to take all of him in your tiny mouth.
his length throbbed in your small hand, tip already leaking out a pearly bead of precum, dribbling onto your fingers. you slowly press your mouth against the tip, keeping it there for a bit to get a little taste of him and to get used to the feel. then you swirled your tongue lightly around it, loving the salty tanginess of his precum against your tongue.
“fuck… feel so good around me already,” he bit his lip harshly, gripping the sheets as he groans with pleasure.
you wrap your mouth tighter around his length as you begin to slide your head down. bobbing it back and forth, keeping a tight suction on his cock, making sure not to use any teeth. you feel jay’s hips jolt up from the feel as you drew more saliva from your mouth, making a mess all over yourself.
he let out a low moan when his length hits the back of your throat, accidentally gagging at how much you took. you couldn’t take all of him in your mouth completely, but you did the best with what you could, bobbing your head as your hand stroked the rest. the way you looked while taking him made him want to bust at the very sight, nothing could compare to having your mouth around him.
“atta girl, keep going— just like that baby— ahh….” he keeps encouraging you, giving you small praises here and there. he does his best not to keep his eyes off you but he wanted to shut his eyes from how good you were making him feel, you were such a natural at this. as you continued stroking his cock with your pretty, talented mouth, he elicits more moans and it only makes you want to make him cum faster.
jay bit his lip even harder, trying so hard not to close his eyes, taking in shallow breaths. he could feel himself getting closer and his whole body tenses up like he’s got a volcano erupting inside him.
��shit— think ‘m gonna come… damn baby…”
you couldn’t say anything since his cock was buried deep down your throat. the only thing on your mind right now was getting him to finish inside your mouth. you lightly hum as you pick up your pace, he matches your movements with his hips, fucking your mouth aggressively. there was saliva everywhere, your face was flushed and you seriously looked such a mess. a beautiful mess, all for jay.
you feel his thickness throbbing in your mouth and a warm sensation hits the back of your throat. white ropes of his cum releases into you and you swallow it immediately, to which you earn yourself a “good girl” as you look up at him, drinking up all his cum. surprisingly, he tasted pretty good, emptying every last drop of him, once you finally pulled away he orders for you to get back on the bed and to bend over for him. you only hesitated for a second, looking at him credulously before doing what he asked of you, trembling legs meeting with the soft sheets again.
“are you…?” you say under your breath, peering over your shoulder to see jay stroking himself, looking at your glistening pussy that’s spread on perfect display for him.
“gonna put my cock inside you ?” he finishes your question for you. “yeah, i am.”
you stop breathing at his answer, sensing his deft fingers touching your thighs and hips, going under your skirt to drag your panties down. he pumps himself a couple more times before aligning his head with your dripping wet entrance. his free hand keeping your skirt crumpled up over your ass, laying the other one on your hip.
“careful, sweetheart,” he says softly beside your ear, “this might sting a little bit more than two fingers.” he swipes the head of his cock through your sticky folds and all you can do is moan pathetically at the feeling, lewd, wet noises echoing throughout the room.
you can’t see his length even with the way you contort your head to look over your shoulder, but you’re still able to see his chest and hips moving as he pushes his cock into your pussy. the burning sensation of your cunt getting stretched out was enough to make you see stars, and he was right. this hurts way more than his fingers, the two feelings were not comparable at all.
“jay-,” you cry out, holding onto the sheets below you for dear life until there’s no more blood circulating in your knuckles.
he hears you, loving the sounds you’re making because of him and the way you say his name with eyes full of tears. when he bottoms out inside of you, his pelvis flushed against your ass, he lets out a low grunt and throws his head back, closing his eyes to savour the pleasure entirely.
you bit onto your lip, compressing a moan that dared to slip from your mouth again. he deliberately pounded into you, like he wanted everyone near to know just how badly he was ruining you, wanting you to beg and cry out for mercy, like he wanted every bone in your body to bend and break.
you involuntarily clench around him, making him tighten his grip on your hip. he thrusts himself deeper into you, his cock sliding in and out of your pussy at an agonizingly harsh pace. each time he bottoms out, jay makes sure the skin of his thighs slap against your ass, the sounds almost as loud as your little moans and whimpers.
your wetness allows him to fuck his cock into your pussy back and forth, welcoming him so perfectly without any restriction. it’s almost impossible for him to not hit your sweet spot, and he reaches so much deeper when he lifts up your thigh with the hand that was previously placed on your hip.
you don’t know how long you can stay in this position for, especially when jay’s drilling his hard cock into you like nothing else matters. it’s like he needs it from you, and as the pleasure only builds up in you, you start thinking you need it desperately, too.
you’re breathing heavily, and so is he, feeling his hot breath fanning against your neck when he tilts his head down closer to yours. you can clearly hear his breathing now as well as his deep grunts that leave his mouth every time your gummy walls close tightly around his girth, literally sucking him right in.
“shit,” he curses out as he pushes lightly on your back, deepening the arch of it so your ass is flushed against his pelvis.
he kisses your neck pretty messily, but it only raises the temperature of your body, your skin boiling hot under his soft lips. he leaves a wet trail behind, going up to your ear, down to your shoulder. telling him to stop isn’t even possible anymore, it wouldn’t make any sense… would be absolutely stupid when you’re so close to your second orgasm. as he thrusts into you, his balls smack your pussy, and the sounds are just too vulgar, but it’s honestly arousing you so much. jay lets go of your thigh to take a hold of your jaw, turning it around so he can look at your face.
your mouth gaped to let out big puffs of air, and it’s the same for him, his breathing being irregular and heavy. he didn’t think he would ever need something that badly, which is making you his, surprisingly enough. making you his in whatever way possible; whether it’s by fucking you to death or eating you— or both. jay doesn’t care, he just wants it. it doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to pass through you, arms and legs shaking as the knot at the pit of your stomach snaps. jay feels it very clearly, your walls hugging his cock terribly tightly, bringing him closer to his own orgasm as well.
“please.. jay, so good..”
“gonna come in this tight little virgin pussy.” he captured your waist pulling you closer into him. “wanna put a baby in you, bet you’d like that, huh ?”
“holy fuck,” he hisses, his hip thrusts accelerating, literally burying his cock in your cunt until strings of white paints your insides. “oh, god…”
he stays in this position for a couple of seconds, catching his breath. he then slightly backs away, making sure to keep your skirt crumpled up over your butt, looking at the mess he made of you.
but he wasn’t done just yet, he wanted you to be completely, utterly, and thoroughly ruined by all parts of him. his fingers, his cock, and now his tongue.
“just need another taste..” jay couldn’t get enough of you, practically blinded by lust, all he wants is to have you, only you, no one else was more perfect than you.
he bends down, toying with your clit and licking your opening until you turned into a yelping mess underneath his tongue, tugging onto the sheets, pillows, whatever you could grasp, feeling like you were about to die. he had a strong grip on your thighs, kept you in place while you came on his tongue like you were made for it, so pretty and ashamed that he’s lost all self-restraint, if ever had any to begin with.
he continued to lap at your cunt, kissing and sucking at your clit, moaning into your heat. hands caressing your thighs, fingernails piercing, spreading you open wider for him. you grind against his face and jay couldn’t help but groan at the way you were so enthralled by the feel. his tongue never letting up against your clit, following your cunt with every movement you make, not letting you catch a break from the feeling of him against you.
his mouth domes around your clit, sucking you right in, teeth lightly grazing against your bud, momentarily making your back arch. mid arch, jay slips two fingers into you. the slight sting makes you hiss as he stretches you out again, long digits buried to the knuckles inside of you upon initial thrust. he soon plants open mouthed kisses against your cunt, fingers working their way in and out of you at an obnoxious pace, curling naturally.
the combination of jay’s tongue and fingers, along with his lips planting kisses against your cunt in between sloppy licks, is all too overwhelming. you couldn’t stop clenching around his fingers, pulling them in to beg for more, to which he gladly gives. fingers fucking into you faster, much deeper than ever before. the feeling of your impeding orgasm has you shaking, practically vibrating, unable to brace yourself for it.
tears pooling down the side of your face as you moan out for him. the tips of his fingers repeatedly hit the soft, gushy spot deep inside of you, biting his lip as he watches you come undone for him all over again. his thumb massaged your clit, slowly but surely dragging you further off the edge. you felt yourself relax into his touch, into the feeling of lust and desire fully engulfing your soul. that’s when it takes over… your vision blurs, almost going black, mouth agape as you let out broken moans. it’s all too much for you to handle, but you never want it to end..
your chest is getting hot and heavy, tightening as you cum, releasing all stress and tension, absolutely melting into this state that makes you feel like you’re floating. your body was on cloud nine as your cunt spills all over his fingers, wetness squirting all over jay’s forearm and thighs.
“jay…” you said his name on repeat, so low and barely audible, mind all foggy and hazy, as if he’d hypnotized you and the only word you can say was his name.
๑ ๑ ๑
a modus operandi. every killer has one, don’t they ?
some tend to prey on the young, weak, and most vulnerable. some may even go so far as devising a foolproof scenario that’ll get others to feel sorry for them, only to lure them right into their devious traps.
jay was no exception to this rule. he knew exactly how to use his good looks and charisma to get anyone to fall for his tricks. he didn’t need to put in too much effort, he didn’t have to seek anyone out because they’d come to him anyway. and no one knew a goddamn thing besides you. which only made you want to scream internally. only you knew the real truth.
ryujin’s death was the next topic of discussion for this whole week as more terror spewed upon the town. no one saw it coming, she was the last person anyone would think could be a target. gossip spread around quickly, revealing more details about the scene of the crime.
some of her internal organs were missing and was cannibalized just like soojin was. her body was so badly mutilated the authorities couldn’t even identify her at first. many were now believing it to be an act of some kind of satanic cult as there was a gigantic pentagram smeared in blood on her bedroom mirror. some were even saying that she looked like ‘lasagna with teeth’, to which you shuddered at that mental image being planted in your mind.
there was a campus curfew set in place to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the rest of the students. everyone’s worried they’ll be next, and since the killer hasn’t been caught this only made the entire town as a whole become on edge. the streets were barren, no sign of any activity past nine o’clock. no one felt safe, it was as if everything was on lockdown now. many were concerned that the upcoming spring formal would get canceled, but it’s been confirmed that it’ll still be held, although the times were changed from 7-10 PM to 6-8 PM to follow the curfew’s ‘no one out past nine o’clock rule’.
while studying in the library, you decided to do some of your own research about jay’s strange condition, reading as many occult books as you could find. you later discovered that he’s an incubus; a male demon that has sexual activity with other women. he was at his weakest state whenever he’s hungry, needing to feed on human flesh in order to sustain his lifespan and overall appearance. you never believed in the supernatural before all of this, but now that you’ve seen it with your own two eyes, you don’t think you’ll be able to live a normal life again.
“this can’t be real… there’s no way any of this is a coincidence, first the fire now a cannibal psycho’s on the loose?” mark rants about the recent murders as you sat on the swings at the park together. you were jealous of how blissfully ignorant he was, how he had no idea how much deeper this all ran.
“i know… it seems like we can’t catch a break, now the whole words got a raging tragedy boner for us..” you sigh out heavily, still shocked by how much media coverage all of this was getting, and even more uncertain if you wanted to tell him everything.
“you alright ?” he suddenly asks, noticing the way your head hung low as you stared at your feet. it was as if he could read your mind.
you pause for a moment, battling with your own inner demons on whether or not it was a good time to tell him everything, but you decide to be honest. it was the least you could do after what happened the other day…
“actually no.. i’m not..” you couldn’t withhold this information all to yourself anymore, you had to tell mark. you needed to keep him from going to the spring formal; it wasn’t safe for him to go, even if you would be with him.
so you spill everything, starting off from the night of going to the bar with jay, how he was brutally murdered and left for dead by that girl band who used him as a sacrifice, you told him about how he was there in your kitchen, and how he ended up slaughtering so many innocent people in his wake. you felt so sure of yourself that mark would believe you, but you were soon proven wrong the minute he opened his mouth.
“yeah you’ve officially lost it y/n, i hope you know that.” he looks at you as if you’ve gone crazy, mirroring the same actions as you from the night that jay confessed to you.
“i’m telling the truth mark, you’ve gotta believe me. you have to promise me that you won’t go...” you practically beg, hoping that all of this won’t fall on deaf ears, but of course, he doesn’t listen.
“i’m sorry but i don’t believe anything you’re saying right now.” he chooses to remain stubborn, staying in his ignorant little bubble as if you were just making all of this up just to get a reaction out of him.
“mark, i love you and care about you so much, that’s why i’m asking you not to go.” you continue to try and reason with him, hoping that he’ll change his mind somehow, even if you sounded like a lunatic you didn’t care.
“he’s going to strike again that night, i can feel it. it’ll be like an all you can eat buffet for him !” you may not be the most morally correct person, but mark’s life was on the line. you just don’t want him getting turned into satan chow…
“look, i’m going and that’s final y/n. with or without you.” he wasn’t interested in hearing whatever else you had to say, he’s already made up his mind and there no use in changing it.
you huff out of frustration, unable to think of anything else so you do what you feel was best for him and the both of you. “mark, i really didn’t wanna have to do this but it isn’t safe for us to be together. i think it’s best we break up..”
his eyes widened, feeling the pace of his heart quicken at your sudden words, “what ? you can’t be serious, y/n.”
“i bet jay put you up to this, didn’t he ?” his jaw clenched, fuming at the thought of jay conspiring a whole plan in getting you two to finally break up, it’s what he always would’ve wanted, and now mark feels like he’s just lost that seven month long, intensive battle against him.
you repeatedly shook your head, denying his accusation. but deep down you knew that you’ve already broken his trust anyway. maybe it was for the better that you were no longer together.
“are you really too blinded to see? he’s always been a bad influence on you..” mark was fed up at this point, feeling rightfully hurt by how easily you wanted to end this relationship all because of jay. “if he told you to jump, i bet you’d ask ‘how high?’, he’s got you wrapped around his finger, controlling you like a damn puppet !”
you were now the one to get in defensive mode, visibly getting upset. but you couldn’t get too upset, you knew there was a small truth to that statement, you were willing to do a lot of things you normally wouldn’t for jay, but you weren’t just going to let mark talk to you like that. your pride was too strong, plus you were already dealing with enough as it is. parting ways from each other was probably the best solution for you two.
“no.. i was only trying to protect you, but don’t say i didn’t warn you..” you gave him one last chance to rethink his decision but you knew he wouldn’t.
on that note, you end up heading back home. leaving mark all alone to go ponder in his own thoughts, feeling his eyes burning holes into the back of your head as he watched you walk away, fading into the void of obscurity.
๑ ๑ ๑
the night of the spring formal was finally here. the night you’ve been dreading since having that conversation with mark, forcing you to break up with him. the minute you got here you’ve been on high alert, scanning the area for any sign of suspicious activity, bringing a swiss knife with you as an added layer of protection. everyone was dressed in their best attire, bodies swaying to the music as they all tried to have a good time despite of everything that’s been happening. you didn’t see mark which you thought was a good sign, but surprisingly, you also don’t see jay anywhere either.
you were engulfed in nostalgia once mr.bright side by the killers airs on the overhead speakers of the gymnasium; which used to be you and jay’s favorite song in high school, but that fond memory only brought a wave of sadness to your soul now. looking back on those days, you specifically remember how much jay’s presence gave you strength to keep going; to keep existing. you truly felt as though you had no reason to live, but he gave you one.
during your adolescent years, it was nothing but turbulence and chaos. your father would routinely come home at the crack of dawn, drunk as sin and belligerent, destroying everything he touched. your mother would do her best to shield you from seeing and hearing their daily arguments, telling you to go straight to your room and lock the door until she says it’s safe to come back out. but being the nosy, and curious child you were you’d push your ear up to the door and listen. hearing the most horrid, degrading words he’d spew, beating her black and blue until he physically grew tired and passed out on the couch. you’d run away from home a couple times, going to jay for comfort, finding solace in one another.
jay could easily relate to your struggles, how you both felt as though no one saw you as real, raw human beings. his father left before he was even born and his mother would dabble in sex work to keep the lights on. he despised every single one of those men who’d come into his home, sometimes his mom would be gone for several days on end, forcing him to grow up at a young age and take care of himself. he wanted to seek revenge on all of those men who violated her, kill them with his own bare hands. maybe that’s why he’d act out so much, he was just a kid being a kid— but no one ever saw the cries for help, no one paid attention to the signs. just labeled a pretty boy with ugly intentions. you never saw him that way though, you were the light at the end of the tunnel, his saving grace. yeah you may have been the awkward kid who didn’t talk much, but eventually he got you to open up. and ever since then, you’ve been conjoined at the hip.
a part of you still wants to believe that he’s that same naïve boy you once knew, still so lost and so confused. but you couldn’t keep making excuses for him, even if he was a damaged soul, so were you. you truly brought out the best and the worst of each other, having seen each other at some of your lowest points in life. which is why you made a vow to never leave the other behind, but we change and evolve over time, it’s natural to grow distant. jay simply couldn’t handle the fact that someone else made you smile, made you feel all those emotions he made you feel— you were slipping right through his fingers. you were all he had left. and he wasn’t going to lose you, not now, not ever.
๑ ๑ ๑
an hour’s passed by already and there was still no sight of either of the two. your mild worries would soon fester into full blown anxiousness when you get this innate feeling that mark could be in danger. you weren’t exactly sure where he was, or if he’s had an encounter with jay, but all you could think about right now was saving his life. even though you betrayed him in the end by sleeping with jay, you couldn’t let him die, you’d never be able to live with yourself if you let that happen. so you hurried out of there and went looking for him, having zero idea exactly where you were headed, but your mind just kept telling you run, run, run.
you don’t know how long you’ve been running for, maybe around twenty, thirty minutes ? who even knows anymore. your legs grew tired, stopping midway to take a breather, until you ended up at an old abandoned pool house. you had an overwhelmingly bad feeling about the place the more you looked at it, but when you heard the gut wrenching screams coming from inside that only confirmed your suspicions, sounding a lot like someone you knew. you ran inside, following their cries for help as you try and locate which direction it was coming from, only to find jay who seems to have found his next victim— your ex boyfriend.
“get away from him !” you demand while shouting from across the room. you can feel your heartbeat accelerate as you’re speed running towards them both, forcefully pushing him off of mark, tackling jay onto the floor.
“i thought you only did this to girls !” you had held some hope that jay wouldn’t harm him, but then again you should’ve known this was bound to happen..
“i guess you can say i go both ways,” he devilishly smirks, swiping the blood off his lower lip with the sleeve of black tux.
jay throws you off of him, causing you to wince in pain as your face made contact with the cold, tiled ground. you wouldn’t back down that easily though, getting right back up to finish what you started. sprinting towards him before he could get back to the work of his own brutality.
“you know, now that i think of it. you were never a good friend to me,” you angrily spat, walking up to him with your head held high, refusing to let fear win this time. “you used to rip the head off my barbie dolls and pour spoiled milk all over my bed !”
jay chuckles at your little speech, utterly amused by your resilience, even found it cute how you were still reminiscing about the past. “and now i’m eating your boyfriend, at least i’m consistent.” he shrugged.
“you make me fucking sick..” you grit through your teeth, grabbing ahold of him before he could take another bite out of mark’s shoulder.
using all your strength, you’d shoved him into the pool, submerging him into the water, attempting to drown him, but those efforts were futile when he regains control. he pulls you back, teeth becoming sharper, like tiny daggers, sinking them into the flesh of your neck. before you could react, you’re the one being lodged into the water; claw-like nails digging into your scalp, razor sharp, weighty against your skull.
it’s hard to keep your head above the water due to the forceful heaviness and before you know it, attempting to hold your breath renders itself useless due to large amounts of water infiltrating your lungs. you’re flailing, thrashing around, arms lifting— hands frantically attempting to grab ahold of anything, only to slash through the water, legs kicking mindlessly.
you had to get him off you real quick, or else you felt as though you were going to die. your body grew weaker and weaker, seeing your life flash before your very eyes as panic fully sets in. it felt as though this was going on for hours.. being edged by death over and over; feeling as if you were going to black out soon. your vision was blocked by the dark, murkiness of the water, ensuring to agitate you with fright, unsure of when it’s all going to come to an end.
and then it does… finally able to emerge from the coldness as you cough up all the water you inhaled. it took a few minutes for you to be able to learn how to breathe again, attempting to calm yourself down, only to turn around seeing both jay and mark wailing in pain for two completely different reasons. mark was lying on the ground, putting pressure on his neck as jay stood there frozen, holding onto the pool skimmer that was deliberately pierced through his stomach.
“you son of a fucking bitch…” he mutters, remaining still for a second, as if he was processing what just happened. a slew of more curses left his lips, sucking in air through his teeth to appease the pain as much as he can. he’d slowly but surely drop to his knees, and a few seconds later he’s collapsing to the ground in a pool of his own blood.
you go up to mark, staring down at his wounded figure, his neck and shoulder bleeding profusely. “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you..” you sniffled, unable to hold back tears you’ve shed, wishing you could’ve been just a few minutes earlier.
“it’s okay.. i love you y/n..” mark weakly spoke, coughing up red splatters of blood as he took his last few and final breathes.
you gave him one last kiss as his eyes closed, you checked for a pulse but there was no sign of life, officially pronouncing him dead. you turned around and jay was gone. forcing you to run out of the place to go and looking for him. there was no other option you had left at this point, it was either you or him that was going to end up dead tonight.
eventually you’d caught up to him in the woods, finding him at a nearby tree, as if he were waiting for you to come searching for him.
“i have to kill you..” you cut straight to the point, grabbing the swiss knife that was at the bottom of your ankle boot, pointing it towards him.
“not if i spill your pretty little guts all over this ground first,” jay laughs, barely moving an inch. still seeing this as all one big game to him, enjoying the thrill of it all.
“why’re you try to be the hero all of a sudden ? still feeling guilty you couldn’t save all those people who burned to death ? they were all a bunch of worthless scum anyway, if anything, i did them all a favor.” his head tilts as he asks so many questions, attempting to throw you off, knowing that it’d only agitate you further.
you backed away as he kept coming towards you, still pointing the sharp edge at him, “you’re wrong, jay. they all deserved to live yet you took it all away like the sick, inhumane fuck you are.”
“is that really what you think of me ? then why’d you let me take your precious virginity, hm ? can’t you see ? i’m the only person who actually ever gave a shit about you.” the smile on his face was so uncanny, as if it came straight out of a cartoon. he was nothing but pure evil, and he knew it.
you couldn’t bear to listen to him speak anymore, it was giving you a headache, you had to end this quickly. you remember while doing your paranormal digging, that a blade to the heart can kill any demon, now it’s all up to you to finish the job.
“i don’t care how long it takes, you’re going to die by the end of this night.” you stated matter-of-factly, you weren’t going down without a fight, and jay happily accepted your challenge with open arms.
he bursts out into more laughter, but it was anything but normal, it sounded maniacal, as if he were taunting you. “i’d love to see you try, sweetheart.”
he lunged forward to snatch the knife out of your hand, wrestling on the ground with him to try and get it back. you couldn’t let him win, not after all you’ve went through. all you had to do was plunge the weapon into his chest and you’d end this reign of terror once and for all. but once you obtained the knife, positioning it towards his chest, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.
“if you’re going to do it then just get it over with. just do it already.” he bitterly spoke, repeating his words over and over, egging you on in your already frenzied state. even if you wanted to, you couldn’t, it was like the minute you had your chance, every particle inside of you froze…
“shut up, shut up, shut up !” you couldn’t even think straight, just shaking your head nonstop while screaming at him to stop talking.
jay could’ve easily overpowered you by now, but it was almost as if he wanted you to do it, willingly ready to die by the hands of you.
“and to think i used to truly believe you were my other half…” you looked at him in disgust, unable to see him as the man who you once knew for practically your whole life. you felt as though you wasted so many of your precious years befriending the most evil, conniving person on the planet.
“silly girl... don’t you remember ? i bit you, so you'll eventually obtain my supernatural powers.” he reminds you of what happened not even an hour before, “our souls are connected now.”
you shook your head in protest, refusing to even entertain that idea, “no… i could never be like you, i’d rather die than be like you..”
jay didn’t seem to be bothered at all by your opposing comments or your lack of compliance. if anything, it only made him want you even more. sure, you may not be cooperating now, but he’ll soon condition you into believing that the only thing you’ll ever need is him.
he cracks a faint smile, “i’m afraid it’s already too late for that, my darling,” he spoke to you softly. not even realizing he’s took the knife from your hands, bringing it down to your thighs, letting the blade run across your delicate skin.
“jay…” you say his name quietly, barely above a whisper. something inside you shifts the minute your gaze meets his, a warm, fuzzy feeling tickling a certain spot within your brain chemistry. you don’t know how to describe it, but your body feels different, so inexplicably different. as if it doesn’t even belong to you anymore.
“you know i’ve always loved you y/n,” jay sweetly coos into your ear, “i just have an awfully morbid way of showing it.”
his words flustered you to no end, feeling guilty for wanting to just give in, all the fight soon evaporating from your body. although you still had so much love for mark, your undying love for jay over the years trumped all of those emotions. the primal desire for him only grew once he’d connect his lips with yours. kissing you tenderly under the glowing moonlight. just you and him, along with the coppery taste of blood on each other’s lips.
you know why you couldn’t kill him. because if you did, you know there’d be no one else in this world who could ever understand you in the same way he does. the two of you shared an eternal bond that could never be erased nor replicated. if you were the kerosene, then he was the match, slow dancing in each other’s flames gracefully.
a made match in heaven ? no, more like a match made in hell.
#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#jay smut#jay x reader#enhypen fic#enha smut#park jongseong smut#enhypen angst#enhypen imagines#jay park smut#kpop smut#enhypen hard hours#enha x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fanfic#jongseong smut
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v. deer dolly
see all chapters here tags: fem! reader, reader is a performer in a speakeasy, heavy warning for violence and bloof, graphic descriptions of injuries, manipulation, allusion to death, grey morality, references to alcoholism, twisted view of love, gorey descriptions of love, murder
"THAT SLAG!"
Velvette's piercing scream echoed through the meeting room, slicing through the air. Vox and Valentino jolted, turning their gazes toward the source of the disturbance.
"Good-for-nothing piece of shit twat assistant!" Velvette paced the room, her movements agitated and frantic as she angrily tapped away on her phone.
In a sudden surge of anger, she flung her device across the room, sending it flying above Valentino's head. A crash punctuated the air as it collided with a window, the impact shattering the glass into shards that rained down onto the floor.
"Velvette, darling," Vox raised an eyebrow, his voice calm as always, "What's got you so worked up?"
He took a sip of his coffee, the rich aroma wafting up from the steaming cup as he idly scrolled through his laptop. "Is it that showgirl situation again?"
"Oh, bloody hell!" Velvette rolled her eyes. "Of course, it is, you git! It's been literally the ONLY thing I've been banging on about this week!"
Valentino's sigh cut through the conversation as he adjusted his sunglasses. Holding his glittering firearm up to his face, he pressed rhinestones on it with tacky glue, unfazed by Velvette's anger.
"It's just some performer, babydoll. We can find a replacement."
"Are you out of your mind?!" Velvette seethed as she stormed toward them, her heels clicking loudly with each step. With a forceful slam of her hands against the table, it shifted forward, jolting the items on its surface. With a hiss of pain, Vox recoiled, his hand jerking back from the scalding coffee he had spilled on himself.
"The boutique opening is in three days! How on earth am I supposed to find a girl who's got the looks and a set of pipes in time?!" she exclaimed.
Valentino looked up from his bedazzling, a raised eyebrow visible above the rim of his sunglasses. "Have you tried one of my models? I got a lot of pretty little chicas who can charm the socks off anyone. No need to stress yourself out."
"Your models? Do you have any idea how much time and effort it's going to take for me to wrangle those little amateurs into something remotely resembling a professional performance?" Velvette scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Sod off!"
Valentino snarled in response but turned away with a huff, muttering under his breath, "Have it your way."
"If I may," Vox spoke, wiping his hand with a grumble, the sting of the burn still lingering. He tilted his head slightly, raising a single brow. "Have you tried scouting?"
"Have I tried scouting?" Velvette mocked, her hands waving around in frustration. "Of course I have! All I've come across are bloody singers around here, and they all look like they've been dragged through the dirt backwards!"
"Well, have you tried the back district?" he offered, tapping his claws on the long glass table. He watched as Velvette pulled out a pocket mirror from her purse, visibly cringing at his suggestion.
"Why in bloody hell would I go there?" Velvette grimaced as she re-applied her dark lipstick. "I'm not about to waste my time scouring the back district for some dime-a-dozen talent. I need someone who's got class, not gutter scraps."
"Well, there's this performer," Vox insisted, snapping his fingers. A screen materialized with a whiz, displaying a video of a figure in a sparkly silver dress singing and dancing. As the video drew to a close, the camera zoomed in, capturing a close-up of the woman's face. Her features were radiant, a smile gracing her lips as she gazed out at the audience.
Velvette snapped her mirror shut with a flick of her wrist, interest sparking in her eyes. She leaned in closer, studying the performer's features.
"Who's this?" she quipped.
"Dolly, at least that's what they call her," Vox hummed, sliding the screen over to Velvette. "She works at Mimzy's Lounge."
Velvette's expression darkened, strands of hair falling over her eyes as she took the screen in her hands, leaning down to view the image again. The glow of the projection illuminated her face, casting shadows that danced across her steely expression.
"Mimzy?" she uttered the name slowly, her lips dripping with venom. "That's the cunt who tore up my best showgirl!"
"Drama," Valentino chuckled, spinning his bedazzled gun around his fingers.
"Well, this Dolly girl is her biggest star, and she's been making quite a name for herself there," Vox drawled, gesturing toward the screen. With a tap of his claw on the screen, he zoomed in closer. "She's got the looks, the voice, and the stage presence you're looking for."
"And she's managed to shine even in the shadow of that cesspool," he added with a sardonic grin as he sipped from his coffee.
A flicker ignited in Velvette's eyes as she straightened. "Then it's settled. I'll pay her a visit."
"Sounds like you've got a plan brewing, my dear. Care for some company?" Vox spoke with a smirk playing on his lips.
Velvette shot him a knowing glance before a grin tugged at the corner of her lips. "Why not? I could use some of your charm."
.
"Cher? Dearest? It's time to get up," the radio atop your bedside table rumbled, your husband's voice crackling through the air.
Grunting in protest, you burrowed deeper into the warmth of your blankets, seeking refuge from the harsh bite of the morning. But Alastor's persistent calls refused to be ignored.
"Mon cœur? Cher? W̷A̴K̶E̴ ̶U̸P̷!̶" it blared, the words amplified by hissing static, demanding attention like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
With a heavy sigh, you reluctantly peeled yourself away from the cocoon of comfort that had enveloped you. Sitting up, you felt the blanket slip from your shoulders, pooling around your hips. Memories of last night flooded in, and the remnants of Alastor's romantic gesture still adorned your room. The bouquet sat atop your dresser, with scattered white roses delicately strewn across your bed like whispers of affection.
Despite the tender atmosphere, a throbbing headache reminded you of an unwelcome guest that accompanied you into the morning—the hangover.
Dragging yourself to the side, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and sat for a moment, rubbing your temples in a futile attempt to ease the discomfort. Then, pushing yourself to your feet, you padded across the room, the cool floorboards sending a shiver through your bare skin. You picked up the radio, its incessant blare akin to an annoying alarm clock, with Alastor's voice still grating on your nerves.
"Alright. Alright. I'm up, love," you grumbled, rubbing at your eyes which still felt thick with sleep.
The radio rumbled with delight at your response.
"Hellish morning to you, my dear!" Alastor's voice boomed through the speakers, his jovial tone slicing through the early morning gloom. Despite your grogginess, a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips at the sound of his voice.
"Hellish morning to you too, darling," you returned, laced with affection.
"I trust you had a restful sleep?" Alastor questioned.
"As restful as one can get with a noisy radio blaring in their ear," you sighed, already feeling the weight of the day bearing down on you.
"Hah!" Alastor laughed, the sound making you roll your eyes. "But where ever would you be without my dulcet tones to serenade you awake?"
"Probably catching a few more precious minutes of sleep," you muttered, already regretting the start of another day. “You are insufferable, you know that?”
"Ah, but that's why you love me."
Back in his hotel room, Alastor chuckled to himself as he shrugged on his suit jacket. From his microphone, he caught the rustling of your clothes, followed by the gentle rush of running water.
With a flick of his wrist, Alastor summoned a gramophone, its boxy form materializing atop his dresser with a soft thud. Soon enough, the needle gently descended onto the spinning vinyl record, releasing a soft, nostalgic melody that filled the room.
I'll never smile again Until I smile at you I'll never laugh again What good would it do?
As Alastor began to sing along, his smooth voice seeping through the rusting speakers of the radio, you paused in the middle of washing your hair, caught off guard by the unexpected serenade.
"Stupid, stupid man," you muttered under your breath with a shake of your head. And yet, despite yourself, a smile tugged at the corners of your lips, warmth creeping into your heart.
For tears would fill my eyes My heart would realize That our romance is through
Exiting the bath, you toweled yourself off and approached your wardrobe, humming softly as you selected your attire for the day. After scanning through the hangers, you settled on a vibrant red hooverette dress. With matching stockings and white heels, you completed the look, the final touch being a few roses plucked from the bouquet Alastor had given you, tucked behind your ear.
I'll never love again I'm so in love with you I'll never thrill again To somebody new
Dressed and ready to face the day, you returned to the radio, the soft strains of music and Alastor's voice still lingering in the air. As the final notes faded into silence, you stood for a moment, savoring the fleeting illusion of domestic bliss for a moment longer.
With a pang of sadness, you glanced at the clock, realizing that it was time to go.
"I have to head out now, darling," you spoke into the radio, feeling a tug at your heartstrings. "My shift starts in a while."
"Ah, until we meet again, mon cher," Alastor's voice replied warmly. "Do take care of yourself."
In response, you leaned down to press a kiss against the speakers, a gesture of your affection. The soft sound of the kiss was barely audible, but Alastor's ears perked up and caught the gentle touch against the metal surface. He chuckled softly, then, with a soft click, the radio fell silent.
As you slipped your purse over your shoulder, a thought crossed your mind—should you bring the radio along? The temptation to have Alastor's voice with you throughout the day was strong, but the risk of further damaging the precious device gave you pause. With a sigh, you decided against it, opting to leave it safely in your room, where it would patiently await your return.
Heading out of your room, the lounge was already buzzing with the hustle and bustle of customers and staff. Although no singer graced the stage yet, the speakers blasted with the familiar tunes of Hell’s Top 10 Hits.
"There you are!" Mimzy's voice cut through the lively atmosphere, her smile failing to reach her eyes as she bounded towards you.
"Mimzy," you greeted flatly, acknowledging her with a nod.
"How are ya doin', doll? Just the person I was looking for," she purred with a bat of her eyes. "Alright, listen, I've got a marvelous idea for a performance."
You sighed inwardly, bracing yourself for whatever scheme she had cooked up this time. Mimzy's requests were as extravagant as they were challenging, always pushing the boundaries to maintain her club's "reputation" and squeeze every last dime from these sinners' wallets.
"Let's hear it," you replied, mustering a polite smile.
"So, I was thinking," Mimzy began, tapping her finger along her chin, "how about a duet? A throwback to the good ole days, sharing the spotlight. It's bound to be a performance these wayward fools are going to talk about for ages!"
You raised an eyebrow, surprised by the relatively tame suggestion. The blonde wasn't exactly known for her subtlety or restraint when it came to showmanship. At most, a duet with Mimzy was sure to be a spectacle, for better or for worse.
"And when is this going to be held?" you grinned tensely, hands at your hips. There was bound to be a switch somewhere.
"When else? Prime time tonight!" Mimzy giggled as she threw up her hands with a flourish.
And there it was.
"Tonight?" Your eyes widened, shoulders squaring in shock. "Miss Ma'am, that's cutting it a bit close, don't you think?"
"Bushwa! We'll make it work," Mimzy replied dismissively, waving off your concerns with a flick of her hand. "And I've already got the perfect song in mind. It'll be a real humdinger, mark my words."
"Alright," you sighed, hoping for the best but bracing yourself for the chaos that was sure to follow. "Tonight it is."
"That's the spirit! Hell, why don't you take the morning off?" Mimzy grinned as she hurried off down the hallway to make preparations. "I'll see you tonight! Make sure to be here by sunset!"
Standing by the stairs as stiff as a pole, you watched her skip off with an unusually chipper air. It struck you as odd, but you pushed the thought aside, eager to have the morning to yourself. As you turned away, however, your head throbbed once more, the reminder of your hangover cutting through the moment.
"Looks like a ciggy is in order," you muttered to yourself, rubbing at your throbbing temples. Making your way outside, hoping to smoke away the edge of discomfort.
Trudging along the filthy backstreets, you did your best to avoid the muck and other questionable liquids that lined the roadside. The stench of decay hung heavy in the air, assaulting your senses with each step you took.
No one spared you a glance as you passed; the citizens of hell were absorbed in their own pursuits or concerns, and you blended into the backdrop of the grim landscape.
Finally reaching a clearer stretch of street, you took a seat on one of the benches, the worn wood groaning under your weight. The city bustled around you, a mix of sounds and movements that seemed to blur together.
With a weary sigh, you reached into your bag in search of company—nicotine.
Fingers fumbling through the contents of your purse, you felt the familiar shape of the roll, and with a hum, pulled it out. However, as you continued to rummage through your belongings, a sinking realization settled in.
Your matchbox wasn't there.
Dropping your head into your hands with a scowl, you could feel the stress mounting within you, bubbling up like a simmering pot ready to boil over.
Wallowing in your misfortune, you failed to notice someone approaching you from behind. A sudden tap on your shoulder jolted you, and as you turned, you found yourself face to face with a tall and slender spider-like demon. His frame was practically drowning in a plush white fur coat, the color almost blending into his skin. It contrasted sharply with the sleekness of the black bodycon dress clinging onto his curves underneath.
"Need a light?" he asked casually as he held up a pink-colored lighter.
You eyed him skeptically for a moment.
In hell, kindness often came with a price. Whether it was a favor owed, a debt to be repaid, or simply a hidden agenda waiting to be revealed, nothing came for free. However, when your head throbbed again, you sighed and relented with a nod, accepting the offer despite your reservations.
Angel Dust ignited the lighter, the flame pirouetting gracefully and flickering in the wind. Drawing closer, you leaned in, offering the tip of your cigarette to the flame. With a gentle hiss, the tobacco caught fire, wisps of smoke curling into the air like ethereal dancers. As you took a deep, shaky inhale, the saccharine poison of the smoke flooded your lungs, leaving a bittersweet taste lingering on your tongue. Shutting your eyes, a sense of calm washed over you as you leaned back, letting yourself be carried away by the fleeting tranquility of the moment.
Remembering you had company, you grounded yourself and opened your eyes. "Thank you ever so much, dear. Can I have your name?" you asked, tilting your head up at him. The stranger moved to sit down next to you, the worn wood of the bench creaking under his weight.
"Angel Dust," he said, and your eyes shot wide open, lips forming an 'O' shape.
"The porn star?" you blurted out before you could stop yourself.
"Didn't take you as the type to watch my shit, toots," Angel laughed heartily as his grin widened from ear to ear in response, his golden tooth gleaming at you like a wink.
"Well, I may not be your typical fan, but your name does tend to make its rounds in conversation," you chuckled, shaking your head in amusement. Taking a drag from your cigarette, you gestured with it casually. "I saw you in my husb—erm, the Radio Demon's commercial. Hazbin Hotel, was it?"
"Yeah, and don't worry, I know. Dolly, was it?" Angel Dust replied smoothly, his demeanor surprisingly nonchalant given the situation. Extending his hand for you to shake, he continued, "Nice to finally put a face to the name."
His confession caught you off guard, but you shook his hand firmly nonetheless. "How did you—did Alastor tell you about me? You two must be close."
Angel Dust hesitated, a grimace crossing his features. His crimson eyes darted away briefly, as if weighing his words carefully.
"Let's just say... word gets around in our circles," he replied vaguely, tugging his coat closer around himself.
"I don't know him that well, though," Angel Dust admitted with a shrug, his gaze drifting off momentarily. "Sometimes he can be a bit..."
"A pompous dick with a sadistic streak?" you suggested, exhaling smoke as you raised an eyebrow at Angel Dust, testing the waters.
Angel Dust laughed genuinely, throwing his head back. "Something along those lines, toots," he grinned, taking another drag of his cigarette.
"Well, it's good to know I'm not the only one who sees it," you remarked, a wry smile playing on your lips.
"Believe me, ya ain't alone in that," he agreed. "So, ah—What brings ya out here? Aside from the obvious need for a blow."
"Just needed some fresh air," you admitted with a shrug. "Plus, I may have indulged a bit too much last night and woke up feeling like death warmed over."
"I hear ya," Angel Dust replied, nodding sympathetically as he raked his eyes over your worn-out form, noting the slump of your body and the dark circles under your eyes. You looked so different from the sparkly performer he had seen on stage days ago.
"Hey, I actually caught one of ya shows the other night," he piped up, attempting to shift the conversation to a lighter topic.
"Did you?" you cooed, surprise evident in your voice.
"Yeah," Angel nodded, stretching out on the bench, spreading both his arms across the back of the wood. "Gotta say, ya put on quite the show up there. I mean—ya had the crowd eating out of the palm of ya hand."
A faint smile crept onto your cheeks at his praise, a swell of pride rising within you.
"Well, thank you," you bowed your head in gratitude, momentarily forgetting your fatigue in the warmth of his words. "It means a lot coming from someone like you."
Angel Dust waved off your thanks with a casual flick of his hand, lips jutting out in a playful pout.
"Ah, c'mon. I call it like I see it," he grinned with a shrug. "N'trust me, I've seen my fair share of performances."
Lost in the easy flow of conversation, you surrendered to the comfort of the moment, finding solace in the presence of your spider companion. Hours passed, and before you knew it, the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the park in hues of golden warmth.
A jarring ringtone shattered the moment, causing Angel Dust to glance down at his phone with a whistle. His brows furrowed as he scrolled through a flurry of notifications, irritation flashing across his features.
"As much as I'm enjoying our little chat, duty calls," he sighed, flicking away ash from his cigarette. "Can't keep the boss waiting."
You nodded in understanding, offering a wave as he rose from the bench. "No worries, Angel. Catch you later."
"Looking forward to it, dollface," he replied with a wink before sauntering off into the city streets, leaving you to enjoy the peace alone. After a few minutes of watching the sunset, you decided it was time to go. You stubbed out your cigarette and rose from the bench, making your way out.
As you approached the streets leading to the lounge, the neon lights of the city burst into life, casting vibrant reflections on the pavement. Climbing the stairs to the entrance, you were enveloped by the familiar sights and sounds of the establishment. The air was thick with the scent of perfume and cigarette smoke, mingling with the pulsating rhythm of the music from within.
Mimzy was nowhere to be seen, which came as a welcome relief. And with a last scan to ensure she wasn't lurking anywhere nearby, you made a beeline straight to your dressing room, eager to ready yourself for tonight's performance in peace without a certain blonde talking your ear off.
Taking a seat at the vanity, you began to prepare for the evening ahead, carefully applying your makeup and fixing your hair into place.
A sudden knock broke your routine, prompting you to rise from your seat and stride over to the door. With a quick twist of the knob, you swung it open, revealing an imp demon. White blotches adorned his skin, and he sported sunglasses perched high up on his nose. In his hands, he held up a box, his expression expectant as he waited for your reaction.
"May I help you?" you murmured, tilting your head at him, curiosity coloring your tone.
"Yeah. Are you Dolly?" the imp asked, his tone curt and impatient.
"Yes?" you replied, a brow raised.
"Great. This is for you, lady," he said, thrusting the box of jewelry toward you. "If you could just sign here so I can get the hell out of this shithole, that'd be great."
You accepted the box from the imp demon's outstretched hand, eyeing him warily as he thrust a pen and clipboard in your direction. With a resigned sigh, you reluctantly took the pen and scrawled your signature on the dotted line, handing the clipboard back to him with a curt nod.
"Thanks," he muttered, barely sparing you a glance as he turned on his heel and hurried away, disappearing into the crowded hallway of the club.
Interest piqued, you turned your attention back to the box in your hands. With a gentle touch, you ran your fingers along the surface and lifted the lid of the box. Nestled amidst folds of satin lay a pearl necklace, the orbs gleaming as if moonlight itself was captured and trapped within. At its heart, a rose pendant bloomed, its petals of silver.
Taken aback, you reached for the small card tucked within the box. Gently retrieving, you turned it around to see the words "From Al" penned gracefully in elegant script.
"Oh, you cheese…"
With a soft smile pulling at the corners of your lips, you delicately lifted the necklace from its satin-lined cocoon, feeling the cool weight of the pearls in your palm. As you draped it around your neck, the pendant nestled against your collarbone.
Feeling as giddy as a teenager in love, you turned away from the vanity, your heart fluttering with excitement. With a skip in your step, you crossed the room to the wardrobe, fingers dancing over the array of neatly hung dresses.
Before your fingers could grasp onto a dress, a sudden deafening explosion tore through the air. The sound was thunderous, shaking the walls and causing the ground beneath your feet to tremble violently. The shockwave slammed into you with palpable force, knocking you off balance and sending you crashing to the floor amidst a cloud of dust and debris.
Alarm flashed across your features as your heart pounded in your chest, the adrenaline coursing through your veins like a raging river. With trembling hands, you pushed yourself up from the ground.
What in hell was that?
Staggering to your feet, you ran out into the lounge. As the dust settled, you could see the entrance of the lounge now reduced to a gaping maw, the doors blown open by the force of the explosion. The familiar sights and sounds of the club were replaced by a scene of utter devastation, with debris strewn haphazardly across the floor and smoke billowing out into the night air.
Two ominous figures cast dark shadows amidst the panicked frenzy of staff and customers.
Struggling to discern the figures amidst the chaos, you squinted, trying to make out the details. One of them was a slender demon, dressed immaculately, with cedar-brown skin and long, fiery red curls tied into neat pigtails.
A sinking feeling settled in your chest as you recognized her as one of Hell's infamous overlords. Your heart plummeted further as you caught sight of Mimzy, ensnared in Velvette's vice-like grip, fear twisting her features as she struggled against her captor.
But it was the presence of the figure behind Velvette that truly sent a shiver down your spine.
The TV Demon, Vox.
His gaze swept over the room with a detached coldness, as if the pandemonium were of little consequence. Suddenly, his icy eyes locked onto yours, freezing you in place.
"Mimzy, dear," Vox's voice buzzed with deceptive sweetness as he addressed the shaking blonde. "Why don't you go and have a little chat with your esteemed employee about our... conditions?"
Wide-eyed with fear, Mimzy frantically nodded, her breaths coming in short, ragged gasps.
"Make it quick," Velvette scoffed, releasing her grip on Mimzy's throat. The blonde stumbled toward you, her movements shaky and unsteady.
"What is—" you started, but Mimzy cut you off, panic evident as she began to drag you backstage. Without a moment's hesitation, she pushed you into your dressing room, swiftly locking the door behind you.
"Mimzy, what in hell is going on out there?" you demanded, leaning down to her height and shaking her by the arms.
Mimzy's breaths came in ragged gasps as she leaned against the door, her eyes wide with terror. She struggled to find her words, her entire figure trembling as she tried to compose herself.
"It's Velvette," she finally managed to choke out.
"Why is she here? What does she want from us?" you pressed, urgency creeping into your tone as you searched Mimzy's face for answers. But her response only added to your unease.
"You need to go with them," Mimzy decided abruptly.
"Go with who? What are you talking about?" you asked, your voice turning breathless with disbelief.
"She's out for payback, see? And she won't stop until she gets it," Mimzy explained, her tone grave yet determined, like she had some ace up her sleeve. "I gotta level the playing field, doll. She wants a replacement, and she's chosen you."
"I can't just go along with this!" your voice rose to a shout as you began to shake her again, nails digging into the chiffon of her glove. "My contract with you ends in a year. If I go with them, I'll be their pawn for all of eternity!"
"I can't just risk Velvette destroying everything I've built!" Mimzy defended herself, her tone devoid of remorse. "Do you have any idea how much work it took for me to get this place running?!"
Anger surged within you, fueled by betrayal and fear. "What about me? What about Alastor?"
"Oh, him again!" Mimzy shook her arms away from your grip and pushed herself off the door. "You've been so obsessed with that radio fool, you've forgotten who's been with you since the very start! Ever since you got hitched to him, you stopped caring about a damn thing!"
"I cared! And I still bloody well care, Mimzy!" you shot back, your voice rising with anger. Your eyes blazed with fire, cracks beginning to form on your face as your demon form threatened to break free. "But you were an empty, hollow shell of a woman with naught in her head but money! You'd sell out anyone, even me, to get what you want!"
Mimzy recoiled slightly, her façade momentarily cracked by your words. "You-You think you're any better? Running off with your precious Alastor, pretending like he's the savior of your life. But I know you've heard his broadcasts. I know you've seen the news. He's no better than me, playing you like a puppet while hiding behind his façade of being a good man!"
Enraged, you lunged forward, tackling her against the wall. As fury consumed you, your form contorted and twisted, taking on a monstrous semblance. Your features morphed, sharpening into angular lines, while cracks spiderwebbed across your skin like shattered porcelain. Limbs stretched and warped, turning jagged and broken, resembling the joints of a marionette. Teeth elongated into razor-sharp fangs, and as you bared them in a snarl, your lips curled back in a grotesque mockery of a mouth. "Say that again! I fucking dare you!"
"I'll say it as many times as I damn well please!" Mimzy spat, her voice trembling as she locked eyes with your hollow gaze. "Until you get it through your fucking thick, cracked skull!"
The blonde's hand darted to a nearby object, seizing hold of a picture frame within reach. With sudden, fierce motion, she swung it, the weighty wood and glass connecting with your transformed flesh in a sickening thud.
"Mph—!" Biting your lip to stifle a scream, you staggered backward. Thick blood dripped from the wound, pooling on the floor and mingling with the cracks in your porcelain-like skin.
"You've got some nerve!" Mimzy's voice thundered as she stood over you, her pale face flushing crimson with anger. "You wanted that fame, and I made it happen. Now you don't?! Fuck! Some ungrateful brat you are! Willing to throw it all away for some man! Do you really think what he feels for you is love?!"
As Mimzy's tirade continued, her words cutting through the haze of pain and anger, a sense of disorientation washed over you. Her words struck a nerve, stirring up memories that you had long tried to suppress.
.
Rain poured down, drenching your hunched form. The world around you blurred into a chaotic whirlwind of colors and shapes, disorienting and suffocating.
Beneath the fabric of your dress, your knees throbbed painfully, raw from the harsh scrape against unforgiving concrete. Your hands desperately fumbled in the darkness, searching for something to anchor yourself to. Then, finally, your fingertips brushed against the familiar texture of rusting metal.
With a ragged sigh of relief, you realized you had found the gate of your house. Summoning all your remaining strength, you clasped both hands around the cold, wet metal bars and attempted to pull yourself up.
Through the haze, you felt rough hands sneak around your waist, and as your vision cleared slightly, your husband's face emerged from the blur. His once impeccable suit now clung to him like a second skin, soaked through by the downpour. Strands of his usually neat hair stuck to his forehead, dampened and dripping onto his glasses. Cursing like a sailor under his breath, he scooped you up into his arms, expression turning tense as he felt the icy chill of your body against his own.
If you weren't moving he would have thought you a corpse.
"Cher?" Alastor's voice cut through the fog in your mind, but your response was sluggish, your gaze glassy and dilated. "Merde. Did you drag yourself here all alone?"
Without waiting for an answer, he moved, cradling you in his arms as he hurried back toward your house. Once inside, he wasted no time in laying you down on the sofa.
"Al," you finally spoke, whimpering softly as you raised a shaky hand towards him. Alastor immediately moved towards you, hushing your cries as he pressed a deep kiss on your lips.
Your husband moved to cradle your face in his rough hands, and what he saw shattered whatever fragments of his heart were still intact. Bruises and dried blood stained your body, your skin clammy and pale. Streaks of mascara carved paths down your tear-stained face, and your limbs twitched involuntarily. The taste of whiskey still lingered on your lips, and the fearful haze in your eyes mirrored the terror of a rabbit cornered by a wolf.
"Who did this to you?" he growled, his pupils dilating with anger as he knelt before you, gently slipping your torn stockings and muddy heels off your feet.
"Mimzy," you sobbed out, curling into yourself, the weight of it all feeling too heavy on your shoulders.
"I tried to quit. She didn't let me. The bar. She gave me a drink. More and more. I couldn't stop. I was just so upset." Your words were fragmented, broken by the wrenching sobs that shook your fragile form, vulnerability laid bare before him.
"Mon cœur," Alastor hushed, rubbing circles into your ankle with his thumb. "Calm down. Take your time."
You made an effort, though the first few attempts were shallow and rushed. Eventually, you managed to draw in a deep breath, releasing it in a rush before taking another. And another.
"That's it, my dear. Now, what happened?"
Summoning all your strength, you opened your mouth and began to recount the harrowing events of the night.
Earlier this evening, you had mustered up enough courage to hand in your resignation letter to Mimzy. However, her reaction was far from pleasant. An argument erupted, filled with less than savory words being thrown around like daggers.
Before you knew it, Mimzy's rage boiled over, and she tackled you, raining blows upon you with a fury that bordered on madness, beating you with an inch of your life. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped.
Her demeanor shifted drastically, morphing from a raging storm into a gentle breeze. With a sickening sweetness, she offered you a hand up, as if nothing had happened. Weak and disoriented, you allowed her to lead you to her private bar, where she poured drink after drink, urging you to indulge.
As per habit, you found yourself consuming the alcohol with reckless abandon, the burning liquid dulling the pain and blurring the edges of reality
Alastor's heart clenched at the anguish in your voice, his expression darkening with a mixture of concern and simmering anger. Slowly, he rose from his seat and lifted you onto his lap, cradling you gently in his arms.
Taking your hand in his, he leaned in close, his voice a soft murmur.
"Let me take care of everything, doll," he whispered, his breath warm against your ear. "She won't ever bother you again."
The tenderness in his voice caused your breath to hitch, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to fall into the reassurance of his presence. It offered a fleeting sense of security amidst everything surrounding you. Yet, slowly as the puzzles fell into pieces, a gnawing sense of dread clawed at your insides.
"Alastor, no," you whimpered, withdrawing your hands and pressing them against his chest, pushing him away with trembling fingers. "Please don't tell me it means what I think it does."
Your gaze pleaded with him, searching his eyes for any sign of reassurance, any glimmer of hope that what you feared was not true. However, your husband's smile remained unchanged—comforting yet chilling—as he pressed another kiss to the corner of your lips.
"I would kill for you," Alastor murmured against your skin, his thumb tracing the contours of your wedding ring. Bending down, he pressed a tender kiss against the golden band, sealing his vow with the promise of bloodshed, lips lingering against the cool metal. As he drew back, you found yourself ensnared by the intensity of his gaze, pools of brown reflecting a manic fervor.
"Please let me kill for you."
Tears blurred your vision as you bowed your head, the weight of his words sinking deep into your soul. You knew Alastor's devotion knew no bounds. Whether it meant causing pain, shedding blood, or delving into the darkest corners of his being, he would do it for you without a moment's hesitation.
A warmth trickled down your cheeks with each blink, tracing a path along your skin. Your eyes burned fiercely, tears cascading down your flushed cheeks and silently dripping from your chin like dewdrops. As you attempted to draw deep breaths, your body shook with a desperation to escape, though you couldn't quite grasp what it was you were fleeing from.
A ragged sound echoed through the room, grating against your senses. It took you a moment to register that the noise came from your own lungs, your breaths torn and jagged as they struggled to find a rhythm.
"Okay," you whispered, the weight of that single word heavy with the burden of guilt and a future tinged with blood.
There was a soft chuckle, accompanied by the gentle touch of a hand moving to caress your cheeks. "Good girl."
.
Snapping back to the present, you found yourself staring at Mimzy as she raged around the room, her fury unleashed on the surroundings, wrecking anything and everything in her path.
A man who kills for you. A man who dirties his hands for you. Is that not love?
A kick from her sent your vanity toppling over, causing bottles of your perfume and whiskey to crash from its surface. The glass shattered upon impact, releasing splintering sounds that pierced your ears. As the bottles broke, the air filled with the pungent scent of flora, mingling with the rich aroma of spilled whiskey.
It must be love.
With a hand trembling from adrenaline, you ran your fingers through your hair, the sticky feeling of blood staining your palm. Rising unsteadily to your feet, you turned to face Mimzy, strands of damp, bloodied hair falling over your cracked porcelain face.
"You ornery washed-up bitch," you rasped out in a laugh, voice breathless and laced with venom. "I should have left you to rot in that forest."
Mimzy froze, her wide eyes locked on you.
"What did you say to me?" she seethed, her voice trembling with anger as she extended her hand toward the shattered liquor glass and the spilled liquid, her fingers curling into fists.
With a flick of her wrist, the whiskey began to swirl and solidify, forming chains that snaked around your limbs, binding you in place. Your muscles tensed against the restraints as Mimzy manipulated you like a puppeteer. Slowly, you reverted back to your regular form, forced to your knees before her.
The blonde bent down, her grip firm on your face, nails digging deep into your skin as she pulled your head up to face her. "You're here because of me! Everything you've ever achieved was because of me! I made you a star, and this is how you repay me?!"
You recognized the anger in her tone, but beneath it lurked a deeper pain and desperation. The poor gal was fighting to reclaim control over a situation slipping through her grasp.
A sudden knock at the door startled Mimzy, causing her to tense. The door creaked open to reveal the imposing figure of Vox filling the doorway. As he entered the room, a wave of static filled the air, crackling and sending goosebumps cascading over your skin. His gaze swept over the scene, taking note of your restraints and bloodied head before settling on Mimzy.
"What is the meaning of this?"
Under Vox's gaze, Mimzy's confident demeanor faltered, replaced by a nervous tremor in her voice. "I-I was just… settling some unfinished business, mistah," she stammered, attempting to regain her composure.
"You've just damaged the merchandise, sweetheart," Vox stated matter-of-factly, gesturing to you with a wave of his hand. "And we can't have that, now can we?"
With a casual snap of his fingers, the wires from the stage lights above writhed and twisted, tearing free from the ceiling with a deafening creak. They snaked through the air like serpents, wrapping around Mimzy's torso and dragging her away from you with a forceful yank.
With Mimzy taken care of, Vox then turned his attention to you.
"Dolly, was it?" he smiled, voice disarming. "I've got to say, I have always wanted to see you up close."
"You've seen me," you replied with a cold edge to your voice, slowly backing away and pressing yourself against the wall. "I'm here."
"Charmed," Vox smiled, his gaze heating as he drank you in, every detail of you like candy to his eyes. As Vox strode towards you, you instinctively curled into yourself, shrinking back deeper against the wall. He chuckled softly, noticing your reaction, and halted his advances. Instead, he took a seat on the cushion by your toppled vanity, glowing eyes locked onto you.
Pretty Dolly Heart.
Your lips were painted a vivid red, pouting slightly in a frown. Damp, glossy curls framed your face, shimmering in the light and tempting him to reach out and run his fingers through them. Rivulets of blood marred your temple, staining the delicate white flowers nestled into your hair.
The TV Demon was interested in you, and he wouldn't let go until he went home with you tonight, that much was clear.
"I have a deal in mind," Vox turned to Mimzy with a look in his eyes that screamed trouble. "Are you willing to trade your soul for hers?"
Your blood ran cold with fear.
"As Velvette and I are business partners, our souls contracts are intertwined. I'm sure there would be no issue if you signed the deal with me instead," he added with a chuckle, his eyes swirling with a dangerous allure.
Panic clawed at your insides, urging you to flee from the impending doom that loomed before you. But rooted to the spot by fear, you found yourself unable to move.
"Yes! A-Absolutely!" Mimzy's words shattered the heavy silence, her voice trembling with desperation as she nodded frantically. Her eyes remained nervously glued to the crackling electricity of the torn wires still wrapped around her, the fear in her gaze mirroring your own.
With a clap of his hands, Vox conjured a new contract and a strong burst of wind swept through the room, ruffling curtains and causing objects to tremble on their surfaces. Blue light flooded the walls, casting eerie shadows and filling the room with an ominous glow. The atmosphere crackled with electricity, every hair on your body standing on end as if charged with static energy.
A tablet materialized and floated before you, its screen pulsing with a faint, golden glow.
"Make her sign here, and it'll be done," Vox instructed, his voice carrying an air of finality as he handed Mimzy a stylus, tapping his clawed finger along the screen of his tablet.
With a trembling hand, Mimzy took the stylus and held it out for you, the strings of her magic wrapping around your limbs once again. You attempted to shout out, but Mimzy's magic stitched your lips shut, leaving you unable to utter a sound.
Helpless, you watched as your hand was forced to reach out and take the pen into your grasp, your fingers moving against your will as Mimzy guided them to sign the contract. With each stroke of the pen, a wave of despair washed over you, a muffled sob bubbling from your throat as your name appeared on the screen, sealing your fate.
Vox's grin widened, a glint of triumph dancing in his eyes as he held up your old paper contract with Mimzy, the words now rendered meaningless. With a swift motion, he tore it to shreds, the sound of paper ripping echoing through the tense silence of the room.
"Welcome to VoxTek, Dolly."
#next chapter will explain all of their background :DD#sephiewrites#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel imagine#alastor imagine#hazbin imagine#hazbin hotel x you#alastor x you#hazbin x you#hazbin x reader#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel vox
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Nakshatras I associate with fame:
Disclaimer: In this post I seek to reveal Nakshatras that bestow fame yet aren’t usually talked about when it comes to “fame” Nakshatras. We already know the more obvious Nakshatras that bestow fame like Dhanishta, Magha, Aqua/Leo etc but the following naks are ones that I see in the charts of many famous people , influencers and public figures. Sun, Moon, Ascendant or Atmakaraka Planet.
Vishaka -usually popular in the music industry. They accumulate a lot of power and achieve a lot in the public eye. They are polarizing figures -ppl either love them or hate them, but they gain even more fame from having haters than lovers.
Revati - they gain popularity easily and it tends to be long lasting for them. They’ll have a lot of followers on social media and people fawn over everything they do. Like “omg she wore army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops”. They are excellent socialites as well-they know a lot of people.
Punarvasu - they have a global appeal. They’ll be famous where they’re from but also in different countries and cities, worldwide. I notice these natives pictures/content gets reposted on social media a lot. They’ll be popular IRL and online. Many Punarvasus will have a famous spouse/parter and gain fame bc of them.
Ashlesha - there is almost always a current social trend that traces back its origins to an Ashlesha native. Which I talk about in this post about mercury naks. They are always trending on social media, even the most followed people on IG -Cristiano Ronaldo and Kylie Jenner- both are Ashlesha natives. People circulate Ashlesha’s images a lot online, and even if they don’t post frequently a lot of people obsess over their content/images that are years old. They have many “copycats” as well. Hence why certain trends can started by them, but often they might not receive credit for said trends. Marilyn Monroe had Ashlesha Asc and in present day people are still circulating her images and copying her look, decades after her death.
Pushya - this is one of the top socialite Nakshatras. They’re good at being all things it all people, they’re public image is just naturally likable. They have a balanced reputation that is favored by many demographics. They tend to be the “cash cow” for their family, record label, franchise etc so they have big machines/teams of people behind them that prolong and maintain their fame.
Swati - another top socialite Nakshatra. Over the course of their life they accumulate so many different social connections, that they are just undeniably popular. They are great at manipulating their public image to attract bigger audiences. They are polarizing figures, that tend to profit from having haters.
Purva Phalguni - if anyone was destined to gain fame at some point in their life, it’s purva phalguni. These natives will gain worldwide fame very quickly, even at a young age. They “blow up” over night, and people can’t get enough of their theatrics. They love performing and out of all the Nakshatras listed here , I feel like they enjoy + desire fame the most. They’re someone that may be disliked in personal relationships but the public loves them + their image.
Purva Ashadha - they are talented at being theatrical and interesting. Their image in the public eye is a glamorous one. People consider them “goals” a lot of the time, so frequently they have a cult like following.
Related posts:
Leo Nakshatras and fame
Mercury Nakshatras and manipulation
Fame indicators in Astrology
What would make you famous based on your birth chart?
#astrology#vedic astrology#nakshatras#astrology observations#astro observations#vishaka#pushya#ashlesha#swati#purva phalguni#Punarvasu#Revati#purvashada#2024#fame#starsandsuch
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GODS & MONSTERS
pairing : god!jason todd ⠀𝒙⠀ nymph!fem!reader | words : 1.8k
summary : ‘put your hands on my waist, do it slowly.’
contents. allusions to mistreatment ( from the other gods ), half of this is actual plot, the second half is smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, stalking ( idk )
note. so, I made a post earlier this month abt this fic, and a lot of people took an interest in, so if this flops then everyone lied to me /j, but thank you to that anon who told me to carry on writing it bc I would have forgotten about it. this fic is giving meeting ur celeb crush not knowing that in the future, you’ll be married
#. main masterlist. | dc masterlist. | jason todd masterlist.
OVER AND OVER again, the older nymphs had to follow your every move. They said you had the mind of a curious adventurer, and although your sisters were the same, you couldn’t help but find curiosity outside your own home. So, as you rested your back against a tree, playing with a piece of thread between your fingers, you couldn’t help but wonder how long would pass until they found you.
One of your most favoured pastimes was to watch the supposed god that visited the riverbank every morning. The first time you ever laid eyes upon him, you asked your sister who he was. A god of war, who was supposedly sane enough to accompany the war of mortal men if they worshipped him to his liking. If he was lucid enough to subjugate his godliness to the land of humans, perhaps he was rational when it came to love. Instead of chasing and manipulating women to his enjoyment such as the other gods of Olympus, perhaps he was gentle enough to devote himself to a lover.
And you were one who loved devotion.
As a nymph, you craved it just as you longed for the touch of cold water to soothe your skin.
Now, that you peered around a tree, glancing at the god, you couldn’t help but revel in his presence, watching as he performed his daily routine. You revelled in the way he curled his fingers into fists, his gaze locked onto the soft rushing of the waves and ripples of the water. And apart from that, and the bellowing of the wind, there was nothing else you could hear, not the breathing of either of you or the creatures around as if they were kept silent at the sight of the god.
In the midst of your obnoxious staring, you let out a small yelp in pain as you happened to impale the tender skin of your palm with something protruding from the ground, drawing his attention over to the source of the noise; your incompetent lips.
“Who’s there? Come out,” he demanded, his voice sending shivers down your fragile spine.
Cursing under your breath, you stood up and slowly approached him from your hiding, leaving prints in the soil as you stood before his towering figure.
“Forgive me,” you begged as you bowed.
When you felt his fingers on your chin, your body trembled as he lifted your face to look at you.
“There is no need to,” he replied, his voice deep and hoarse.
You would have expected him to end your life there and then, yet, he gazed at you in a way that beckoned you to say more, your body weakening at his viridescent pupils.
“Are you Jason?” You asked, eyes widening as you realised how close you were.
To be noticed by a god was startling, but to have one touch you whilst you stare at each other was viewed as only a dream.
“And you are?” He asked.
As you told him your name, he repeated it with a small smile, gesturing for you to stand up.
“And what do I owe the pleasure of meeting a nymph?” He asked, circling you slowly. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you,” he spoke as he watched you step away from him. “I’ve seen you before,” he confessed. “You watch me from over there. And you return to the river when I leave.”
“I never meant to stare at the beginning,” you replied, biting on your inner cheek as you played with the fabric of your clothing, your voice becoming silent as you finished your confession.
“Why do you stare?” Jason asked, crossing his arms.
“Why do you visit the river?” You questioned him, the mischief you were born with as a nymph seeping through your shyness. “You’re a god, you’re handsome, and I cannot stare?”
“I visit these waters to pay respect to someone I lost,” he replied after you answered his question.
Barely any of the gods respected mere humans so his confession had your mouth agape.
“Were they your lover?” You asked.
“A friend,” he corrected.
You didn’t know if he could tell what you were thinking but inherently, you were satisfied he was an unmarried and untaken god. Naturally, gods had affairs and multiple marriages, but the idea of his attention simply being on you had you flustered.
You nodded in understanding as you looked over at the ripples practically telling you to come back.
“I’ve been away from home for too long, my sisters will probably be looking for me,” you whispered, staring back up at the god before you, your heart beating and the pits of your stomach fluttering.
Choosing a pebble from the bank of the river, you held it in front of him before placing it in his palm when he held it out.
“To remember me by,” you muttered before taking a step backwards.
Glancing at him one more time, you made your way back along the river, deciding in your head your sisters would never hear of this interaction.
Not only was he a revengeful and a passionately driven god, he was also wise. The two of you seemed to talk every possible moment; at the break of dawn, sat on the riverbank a few yards away from your home, or late in the afternoons where you showed him your favourite comfort places around the woods you had spent your life in.
Yet, everyday, you had tried to push yourself to offer yourself to him as a sort of gift, if he’d accept you anyways. You were noticeably touchy with him, whether the pads of your fingers grazing over the embellishments and carvings in his armour or making sure your hands brushed against his larger limbs.
One late evening, the confidence you had been longing for finally came as you stood before him in a coven of trees, desperate to tell him of your deep and solid feelings.
“I want you to have me,” you confessed, breaking the silence between the two of you, your hands held out in front of you as your gaze was focused on the ground.
“Excuse me?” He replied, needing reassurance of what you said.
“I want to give myself to you,” you added.
Jason paused for a moment before resting his hands on your hips.
“Insolent gods only want to please themselves, but I don’t wish for the same. I don’t want you to offer yourself to me, but if you truly want this, all you have to do is tell me,” he explained, his hand resting against the back of your head. “I don’t wish to have your body if you cannot have mine.”
Slightly nodding in understanding, your hands drifted to the hems of your clothes.
“Do you want me?” You whispered, twisting your clothing between your fingers.
“In all my life I’ve never wanted someone more,” he confessed, leaning slightly to meet your gaze.
At his words, you began to remove the fabric clinging onto your skin, standing still in front of him as your breath quivered.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his hands resting on your hips as he pressed a kiss to your jaw, his lips travelling down to your neck.
Your body was cold to the touch, and when he brought your hand up to press a kiss to your palm, your body shivered and grew warm under his touch.
If Jason’s men found him like this, found him making love to a nymph, they’d probably cheer, but you knew he wasn’t simply doing so because it had been so long for him, but because in the last few days, he had grown fond of you, and it was an act of feverish desire to hold you.
“Lie down for me,” he mumbled, yet, his voice was loud.
Doing as he said, you laid down on the sheets of clothing you previously removed, watching as he knelt down, pressing his hands to your inner thighs as he gestured for you to spread your legs.
Soon, he was clad with no clothes, brushing soft kisses across the expanse of your stomach as he gazed up at you, worshipping your body even though it should have been the other way around.
You were already practically his goddess.
Jason was tender with his touch, his hands gripping at your waist as he pushed his cock inside your clenching hole. The girth of it had you gasping as your head lolled back and your eyes shut in both pain and pleasure.
“Please,” you whispered when he paused in his movements. Your small beg led to him beginning to move, slowly pistoning his length in and out of your soaked core, the soft sounds of skin colliding hidden beneath the rustling of leaves and lapping of water.
It was your first time, yet, his gentleness distracted you from how much it hurt and soon, instead of cries, small whimpers soon fell from your lips, your eyes closing as he drove his length inside you.
“Jason ── ,” you hushed, your eyes fluttering as you looked up at him with your blown pupils. His hands gripped tighter at your waist as thrusted into your cunt, your walls sensitive around his length.
You trembled underneath him, revelling in the warmth of his body against yours as the soft winds blew against your skin. Your body had practically welcomed him, and it was then that you realised that you were no longer a virgin.
That you were losing it to a god.
One who whispered your name repeatedly as he pressed against your flesh, handling you with care and the urgency to bring you to your release
You were annoyed that he was so gentle in his touch, drawing you close to tears as he bullied his twitching cock in and out of your chaste and tight hole, but not selfishly that you were in pain and he didn’t boast in his lack of ego. Small pleads and whispers spewed from your lips as his own breath hitched, your walls clenching with every thrust.
Burrowing your face in the crook of his neck, you could feel the knot in your stomach tightening, Jason’s hips meeting yours with such a lack of rhythm; you knew how desperately he wanted to claim you as his. And soon, you felt yourself come undone underneath him, your body trembling as your orgasm crashes upon you. Jason soon shuddered as he filled you up with spurts of his hot cum, his groans too godly to be heard by your nymph ears.
“Your mine, and I’m yours,” he quivered, still bucking his hips against yours.
‘You’re already mine,’ he whispered, and at that, you knew he was never going to let you go.
#. ( bat signal . )#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd smut#jason todd fluff#jason todd angst#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fic#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood x you#red hood x y/n#red hood smut#red hood fluff#red hood angst#red hood fanfiction#red hood fic#arkham knight#arkham knight x reader#arkham knight x you#arkham knight fanfic#divine au#greek mythology au#nymph!reader
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how to be ethically manipulative according to your sun, moon, & ascendant
My darling ducklings 🐥 I am not responsible for whatever you choose to do with this information. Consider these to be the idle musings of an entp with a phone and enough energy to find mischief but not enough to do something genuinely productive (like answering the 19 asks in my inbox). 😘
🌸❤️🌸
Group 1: Pisces, Virgo, Cancer, Gemini, Sagittarius & Taurus
You are generally cute or don't seem overly threatening at first glance. Use this to your advantage and get close to the people in power. Learn as much as you can. Make yourself known in gentle waves rather than big splashes.
Infiltration is a tool you can easily use to put yourself in the best position for promotions or other opportunities/benefits without it seeming planned. Everyone will just think you were in the right place at that right time. Which, to be fair, you were. Just on purpose. Lol.
❤️🌸❤️
Group 2: Aries, Capricorn, Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, Libra
You can come off pretty intimidating at first glance so stealth might not be an option, but your influence is. People notice you right away so with the right performance, you can get what you want quite easily, and probably a lot faster than those in group one. The catch is that you might make more enemies along the way, but who cares? Not you, you've got places to be.
People listen to you whether they like it or not and often end up emulating you too, so use this to your advantage and lead others to the conclusions and decisions that will ultimately play out in your favor. Let them think it is all their idea and that you're playing their game. Let them play captain-you know it's your ship. This is your superpower.
#astrology observations#astro notes#astrology#astrology signs#astrology blog#astro posts#astrology tumblr
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Debilitated planets in astrology
Sun in Libra ⚖️
Sun in Libra is debilitated because sun's aggressive and assertive nature does not go well with Libra's love for harmony and balance. The most common thing that comes with a debilitated sun is the lack of confidence. I know many people with this placement who are actually really good leaders but because they are not confident in their own abilities, they tend to hold themselves back. No matter how much other people praise them, they'll always think that they're not good enough. Can also be people pleasers, I personally think that you guys should not be in a relationship unless you strengthen your sun. They are much more likely than others to be victims of peer pressure. There can be some problems with heart, bones, or stomach, or it's like, your stomach is the first thing that hurts when you get sick, migraines and fevers are also common. To strengthen your sun, you should do the following things, (do the things that you can, you don't have to do every single one, I'm listing down all the ones that I know) :
Perform Surya namaskar or just do yoga in the morning.
Use a copper glass to drink water.
Offer water to sun every morning (when it rises) from a copper vessel.
Look at the sunrise with your eyes, if you wear glasses, remove the glasses and then look at it. JUST as the sun is rising, don't wake up at 11 am, and then look at the sun.
You shouldn't eat a lot of meat, I'm not telling you to become a vegetarian, but do lessen the consumption of meat and try to eat more fruits and vegetables instead.
Wear red colored clothes more often, and also donate red colored clothes to orphanages, it can be helpful.
If you're a Hindu and you LIKE being a Hindu, then chant this, "om suryaya namaha" 3 times in the morning before leaving your house or if you're offering water to sun then do it that time only.
Moon in Scorpio 🦂
Moon is debilitated in Scorpio. People with a debilitated moon are highly prone to stress, much more than others, they also very easily get Black circles under their eyes, it's like, even if they sleep a little less for a day, you'll see it on their faces, their hair starts turning grey very early on in life. They can have sinus problems and be prone to allergies. Also, I read this somewhere, but it's turned out to be true for every person that I know has a weak moon, their sweat smells very very bad, I'm sorry 😭. They can also be scared of water, not like bathing and regular stuff but swimming and doing water sports. HUGE mood swings, one moment they're shouting at you and the next they're asking for a hug and talking sweetly. Highly sensitive to criticism, will get offended at the smallest things, this results in them being very defensive over their interests and lifestyle. Their intuition is weak and they can struggle to figure out the true intentions of people, can get very easily manipulated. Lactose intolerance is something that I've noticed in a lot of people with a weak moon. Can have problems with mental health, like anxiety and adhd, weak chest, breast, ovaries, uterus, problems with menstrual cycle, irregular periods, fertility issues. cold and cough are very common. To strengthen your moon, you should do the following things :
Avoid spending time alone.
Practice meditation every day to calm down the mind.
Offer milk to shivaling if you can.
Avoid having birds as pets.
Eat coconut and wear white clothes, or even wearing a white scarf with usual clothes is fine.
You should also use sandalwood oil to improve sleep or use it while meditating as well.
Chant "Om Shram Shreem Shroum Sah Chandramase Namah" 3 times everyday, do it while meditating.
Mercury in Pisces 🐟
Mercury is debilitated in Pisces. Communication problems are a given with this placement. People can misunderstand their words quite often, it's like, even when they're trying to compliment someone, it sort of ends up sounding like an insult, when that wasn't their interntion in the first place. They can be the "invisible" friend in the group, it's like even if they go away nobody will notice or be affected by their absence. The friend who always has to walk behind when there's no space left, the one that is left behind when they stop to tie their laces, the one that tries to be social and funny but ends up failing miserably. They feel alone even if they're surrounded by people. This is especially true when they're young, but they look at all these people around them, having fun, dating, partying, and then they're just THERE, just existing, that feeling is common. Overthinking, nobody can beat them to it, sitting in class, having a doubt but not bringing it up cuz you're afraid of being perceived as stupid. They're also very sensitive to criticism. They do have a really strong intuition though, can see right through people, good judge of characters. Frequently engage in maladaptive daydreaming, will act like a princess whose knight is in love with her, but she is forced to marry a prince from another kingdom, frequently cook up stories like this in their heads (totally not speaking from personal experience). They daydream to avoid reality, but like who doesn't. There can be problems related to throat, nervous system, ulcers, fractures, UTI's, iron and haemoglobin issues as well. To strengthen your Mercury, you should do the following things :
Wash new clothes before wearing them.
Chanting mantras related to lord budhha.
Eat green vegetables and fruits
Keep good oral hygiene, clean your teeth and tongue THOROUGHLY (everyone should do this btw, cuz...basic hygiene)
Chant "Om gan ganpataye namah" 3 times in the morning before leaving your house
Venus in Virgo 🦊
Venus is debilitated in Virgo. These people can be very critical of their partners, will always try to find faults with them. Can be overly concerned with outer appearances. They struggle a lot with self love, Cassie from euphoria is a pretty accurate representation of someone with a debilitated Venus. They have low self esteem and as a result, can get together with people who try to pull them down and the worst part is that they tend to believe them. They have a bad fashion sense, they're more likely to follow trends, not realising that those clothes are not the best for THEIR body type. Dependency issues in relationship is very common. They are creative, but don't know how to express it, most of the times, they're not even aware of this creativity. They can also be more prone than others to get addicted to alcohol or drugs, so I would advise you to stay away from them. If you haven't consumed it yet, then it's better to not even try. Can have problems related to kidneys, skin, eyes, sexual hormones (PCOS is common in women with this placement), hormonal disorders. To strengthen your Venus, you should do the following things :
You should avoid taking anything for free, for ex, you know how in some stores they offer things to taste, like snacks and all, don't try them.
You should use cow ghee to cook food.
Wear silver jewellery and use nice perfumes.
Pour white flowers in water, preferably a big body of water.
Never repeat your clothes without washing them first. Don't wear unwashed clothes.
Chant "Om shum shukraya Namah"
Mars in Cancer 🦀
Mars is debilitated in Cancer. These people are always a little lethargic, the type to wake up tired no matter how much sleep they get (yk that meme, that goes "when you wake up and can't wait to go back to sleep". They don't like to eat healthy food, can be obsessed with eating junk all the time. I know people with this placement who are ADDICTED to cheese, won't eat anything without it. Can get bruised very easily and most of the time they aren't even aware of how they got it. Get frequent body pains because of weak muscles. Don't know how to express their sexuality in a healthy manner. They have Weak concentration skills and low attention span. There can be property related disputes in the family, you'll probably not inherit anything (good) from your family. They use displacement as their defence mechanism, anger is always directed at the wrong person because they're too weak to hurt the people who've hurt them. They can be very passive aggressive. There can be problems related to bones, muscles, blood, genitals, rectum, hands and prostate gland. To strengthen your mars, you should do the following things :
You should donate blood.
Carry red things with you, it shouldn't be too big, small enough to fit in your pocket.
Eat red fruits and vegetables, like, pomegranates, beetroot, apple, cherry, red pepper, etc.
Chanting or reading Hanuman chalisa can help a LOT ( I would give an example but the whole situation was very detailed)
Use copper utensils to eat food and drink water in a copper glass.
Jupiter in Capricorn 🐐
Jupiter is debilitated in Capricorn. For some weird reason, they always get teachers who have a problem with them. Their teachers always pin point their faults and try to humiliate them. But when they grow old, like 25+ they finally manage to find someone who does their best to guide them, this teacher will have a huge impact on their life. They are likely to become more spiritual and less religious as they grow up. I know a lot of people with this, and they all ended up becoming the head of their household, it doesn't matter if they're a man or a woman, married or divorced, they are gonna be the ones to manage their family. There will be a lot of difficulties in terms of career, you might have to work twice as hard as others to get the same benefits. There can be financial difficulties as well, it usually happens because most of the time, these people are the breadwinners, so whatever they earn, gets used for their family instead. So it FEELS like they earn less even if they earn a lot. This is a very bad placement for women, since the probability of getting a bad husband increases. The women with this get ghosted a lot. You can be more prone than others to health problems like, diabetes, obesity, insomnia, gall bladder stones, ear and gastric troubles. To strengthen your Jupiter, you should do the following things :
Apply a blend of turmeric powder and sandalwood on your forehead, a short line with your thumb (dip your thumb in the mixture and then put your thumb between your eyebrows and draw a ⬆️ line)
Offer bananas to people.
Avoid consuming meat and alcohol.
Wear yellow clothes (avoid wearing dark Colors) or keep something yellow with you permanently.
Practice meditation.
Wear gold, it can be a small chain or a ring as well.
Chant "Om brim brihaspataye namah"
Saturn in Aries 🐏
Saturn is debilitated in Aries. These people are very irresponsible and make fake promises. They'll do everything except what they're actually supposed to do. Have a tendency to blame others for their failures, I know quite a few people with this and.....🙄. These people are not good leaders but they think they are, this leads to them taking leadership roles through force. They look scary and they ARE scary, nobody can stand up to them. They're unable to manage resources effectively and this can lead to severe financial difficulties. They also end up making a lot of enemies, so even if they become successful, it won't be for long. There can be problems related to, legs, knees and joints. To strengthen your Saturn, you should do the following things :
Brush your teeth with a neem toothpaste.
Honestly, be a vegetarian, this is the only planet for which I would recommend you guys to NOT consume meat and alcohol. I know 100's of people who were literally dying during their Saturn mahadasha and then became perfectly fine once they stopped eating meat and drinking alcohol.
Be a decent human being, that is literally all that Saturn asks of you 😭
Drink cow milk ONLY, if that's not available then don't drink milk.
Always keep a little ball of silver with you.
Wear dark green clothes.
(there are many factors that can cancel the debilitation of a planet, and these remedies help too, so don't worry too much if you have planets in debilitation)
Divider by @strangergraphics-archive
© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024
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Physical connection with your future spouse 🧡 18+
Also a random note, almost all readings got at least one or more fertility/child/baby cards given we're doing the reading for physical/sexual connection. A lot of babymaking going on here 😭😂 I thought there was going to be a lot of passionate and kinky stuff but here we are, yall focussing on creating families. I love it either way 💗 That is interesting! 👶🩷
IMAGE 1 Girl and Roses
Sexual intimacy in your relationship is going to be in moderation, at least in the intial stages of your relationship. You are not going to be doing it too much or too little, there's this notion of abstinence, moderation and restriction when being intimate due to which you feel restricted in expressing your sexuality. Can be due to religious beliefs or cultural practices. Or maybe you had to wait till marriage, so you kinda struggle in the bedroom initially. Also for some of you it's possible that one partner is too domineering and controlling of intimacy and the other partner just tags along. There can be a difficulty in attributing emotions to sexual activity as well.
One partner can be a bit manipulative on getting what they want. So they may use their wit and control to charm the other person to just surrender to pleasing them and to fulfill their sexual needs. They will likely expect their partners to take control and to just be so passionate, protective and fiery in bed. There can be manipulation and kinks too and a tendency to fulfill their own sexual fantasies through the other selfishly.
Also it will happen a lot with the intention of making a baby. You will put a lot of efforts, time and energy into making a baby. So you will do it routinely with the desire to make a baby. It will happen very passionately and that phase of your physical relationship will feel very new and lively and both will feel a lot better with intimacy and put a lot of effort into making it more pleasurable. So it's kinda like you struggle in the beginning but after a while you decide to make a baby and things get spicy, passionate and fulfilling all of a sudden. Also physical and sexual intimacy will be something that creates a foundation to your marriage in a way.
IMAGE 2 Colorful butterflies
Physical intimacy with your future spouse is very abundant. Both will be givers. Both partners' priority will be to give and to please and they are going to be very generous with it. They could be serving you in the bedroom in a way. Giving away every bit of themselves to please and care for the other. There's also a good balance of earthly pleasure and emotions. As much as you want the others' body, you also want their love and romance. You both will be comfortable doing it. Also there's a lot of mutual respect in your physical relationship and also a lot of gratitude in your hearts for getting to share that blissful experience with each other. You will do it for the purpose of babymaking too. You will enjoy the experience and there will be a lot of innocent joy and fun doing it. Not tainted with lust but driven mostly by romance and love. Also there's a lot of spontaneity in your physical relationship, yall are excited for all the new things you could do with each other.
So you will have a good physical relationship and one that will stay fresh and new for a long time. If one of you struggle with something when expressing yourself sexually, your partner will patiently wait for you. If you are bad at performing some sexual activity initially, they won't shun you, they will be so gentle and comitted to having better results eventually and most importantly they will match your pace. Also you would likely be interested in having babies with your fs. Also you could do it wayy into old age, even when you are gray and old😄😭 but still there will be the same joy and anticipation to it. What physical intimacy means to you will never lose its meaning.
There will be a lot of romantic gestures, dates and going to parties together. Movie dates and holiday romance, a lot of idealistic love. Also there will be true commitment and a lot of clinginess. You will do romantic things to keep each other interested. Also for some, you will do romance to stop your partner from getting bored, could be fear driven and could have abandonment issues. Or simply you guys will never let the romance fade away. Your romance could go well into the future, even after many many years the spark between you will be intact.
IMAGE 3 A Group of Fairies
First of all, you can have kids with your fs. Like it's very possible. Also this is going to be only for a very very few of you, there could be a situation regarding custody of your children. You could have a very positive physical relationship with your fs. You will be all over each other because you crave skin to skin contact. A lot of touching and cuddling and bonding with physical senses is possible. You will make love while travelling, driving, car sex, a lot movement when doing it. Also riding can be a favorite position. There's a lot of bright and enthusiastic in sexual intimacy, I think you use it as a remedy to dissolve the unpleasant feelings away. Physical intimacy could very well be something that frees you from the burdens you carry. It is something that helps you get rid of troubles of the day. Healing to the mind and body is what it is for you.
Pregnancy is a hundred percent in the cards in this group so physical intimacy will most definitely lead to that. Again there's a sense of freedom in sexuality in this group. It's possible you indulge in those experiences a lot and there's a lot of love and joy. True celebration of the mind, body and soul.
Physical intimacy will be very gentle, protective and nurturing and comfortable. There will be a strong emotional bond and not just pleasure. A lot of romance, love and support for each other. Pleasing the senses, a lot of foreplay, kissing and cuddling all those will happen in abundance.
Both partners could just admire each other all the time. Caressing each other softly and slow kisses and gentle touches. A soft romance🩷
Also you could mostly be intimate at home, in familiar places. Getting cosy in your home and cuddling under blankets and hugging each other kinda love. Also you could have outdoors sex, in your garden on the grass😭✨️ There's variety, fun and lot of warmth in this group.
Also you could be like friends, friendly banter, flirting, making each other laugh, these kinds of silly behaviour builds up the sexual tension. A lot of celebrating, eating and drinking, enjoying luxury, going on multiple honeymoons or holiday getaways just to stay in and make love is very possible. You could be having fun like friends and you will suddenly impulsively be devouring each other. Also there will be a lot of creativity and high energy in sexual intimacy. Passion for you is just a snap of a finger away from romance and fun. You will be a very lively couple, very homely but also outdoorsy. You will be passionate whenever and wherever.
IMAGE 4 Woman holding a lantern
So yall are true romantics at heart but I think you hide it. Or it feels like too much flirty feelings brewing inside but you don't express all of those to your partner. I think there's some holding back and feeling like yall can't express the true depth of your feelings. It can also mean the romance between you two is overwhelming in some way.
There's energy and aggression in your sexual energy. Your physical relationship with each other can have major themes of obsession and addiction with each other. For some it can mean your entire perspective on sexuality is going to be challenged and changed within this relationship. And for others I think there's a feeling of lacking safety in your physical relationship. I think there can be aggressive sex, chaotic themes sorrounding your physical relationship with your fs. Control issues, jealousy, anger and some unhealthy attachment is all possible here. It's passionate and wild, there's a lot of sweet romantic feelings hidden away but on the surface the sexual energy will manifest as absolute chaos and destruction. Pain and pleasure is equally present in your physical relationship.
Also one partner can lack confidence and experience in matters of the bedroom and they are the pillow princess/prince. Also one partner can lack commitment when it comes to pleasing their partner. Or it could be that both are more focussed on their own pleasure. Sleeping on your potential came to mind. There's a lot of room to have a fulfilling physical relationship but it seems like yall are not taking a chance, even when you do it's devoid of romance and mostly driven by lust. There are feelings hidden beneath the surface but you are not giving the best you can in expressing them productively. I think your physical relationship is in a way focussed mainly on fulfilling sexual needs and not on bonding with each other emotionally.
Tell me if the reading resonated with you. I'd love to know your thoughts on this reading. Take care lovely people! ✨️
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