#just a lot of nerve and not a single braincell

[blcssom]

open to: f/m/nb ft. elise harmon (she/they) plot: she's absolutely hammered and thinks she scurried up the fire escape and landed in her friend's apartment when she's actually ended up in their neighbor's apartment by mistake

the climb had taken more out of her than she'd anticipated (why was it that she always felt so invincible after a few too many shots of patron?), and elise was relieved to finally fall back onto the familiar soft surface of their couch when the lights suddenly flicked on. "jesus, warn a girl before you blind her!" she groaned, forcing her body into an upright position while her fingers pressed against closed eyelids for relief. "and why weren't you answering your phone? i waited downstairs for half an hour waiting for you to buzz me in before i decided to—" the words died off as her hands fell back to her lap, brows furrowed in confusion. "———-who the fuck are you?"

[neverchecking]

i really like your writing!! omg!! may i please request some nsfw with soft yandere four?? preferably like an unexpected sexual advance from reader and four is just kinda like "omg .... my goddess... touching me... what is happening" like brain mush sorta like the hyrule fic lol

take your time and drink lots of water!

You absolutely can! So, Four is one of the Links that I'm not too too confident writing about, but I can't get better if I don't do it!

Sidebar; Yall went feral over that Hyrule fic and I just adore it.

Drink all your water too, Darling!

(If you saw something earlier, no you didn't.)

Smut, so 18+ MDNI!

Smut CW: AFAB! Reader, Mutual Masturbation, Hand jobs, fingering, gentle praise, soft sleepy sex.

Handling the Heat

He did not have the Triforce of Courage.

He never wielded the Master Sword.

But he did have something the others did not. Something that made him eternally grateful

The Minish were dastardly little devils under the guise of angelic little mice, scampering and hiding away from plain sight. They were fast little things, keen and deceptively deceiving, never truly giving themselves away unless they absolutely wanted to.

But they knew Four relied on them never showing themselves to you, unless he was there. They were his eyes when he could not be there. They saw things. They heard things. They knew about every little secret you tried shoving away. And then they told him. Because he was the only one with more than a single braincell in this goddess forsaken group. The only one who could be tasked with your care.

You had a way of making the smattering of voices and emotions in his head settle. Like an eye in a storm that howled like no other. Like a settle in an earth quake where the tectonic plates just want to crash against each other. Like a soothing balm on a burn that he had long since allowed to fester with an angry sizzle.

And he just could not let you go. He couldn't! So, he may have included the help of the Minish. That's not illegal. You don't even know about it! So what harm is it really?

He didn't see any harm in it! It kept you safe and his nerves at ease. The colors all agreed it was for the best, and at that point it was majority rules.

Who was he to disagree?

No one, that's who.

Closing the door to the inn room, he let a small smile creep onto his features. They had a protocol for Inns, since there was ten of them and there was very rarely ever an inn that had ten individual rooms, where they all paired up (Sometimes even split into threes or fours) and took a bed/room/whatever was available. Four ensured that he was the only one you trusted enough to share with. It got him close to you and forged such a strong bond between you two that it made his heart positively flutter. The feeling of your skin, warm to the touch, against his; the comforting rhythm of your breathing, steady and consistent, just the way he liked it; your weight ever grounding as you slept soundly and peacefully on his chest. All of it just drove him positively crazy. In the best way, of course.

You were laying in bed, blanket pulled to your chin with your hair splayed behind you like a halo. He had stayed up with Wars, Time and Twilight doing some strategy run throughs and he had sent you to bed a while ago. He was glad to see you so relaxed. You didn't deserve the stress this life brought. You deserved so much better. So much more than what that disgrace of a stand-in gave you in your life.

The though of Hylia and the hand she dealt you made him snarl to himself before it was falling into a soft, serene smile at a small sound you made. He stripped out of his outer tunic and armor, into his undershirt and a soft pair of shorts before climbing in next to you. You perfect features scrunched gently at the intrusion of the cold air when he opened your nest of blankets, which he quickly soothed with a gently brush along your cheek. He settled right beside you, only for his breath to catch in his throat at the sight of your dazzling eyes peeking open and staring at him.

He swallowed at the sight of your precious bedhead and positively adorable, sleepy, little pout. "Did I wake you?"

You gently shook your head, moving to burrow into his chest. Your hands grasped at his tunic as you took a dep inhale before relaxing against him. "No."

Thank the golden three.

"Why are you awake, my jewel?" He gently asked, brushing through your hair. You moved a bit before sitting up just enough to stare down at him, brushing his bangs (Which now hung freely without his hair band holding them back) behind his ears. Your touch was every bit electrifying as it was soothing.

"Couldn't sleep." You couldn't sleep? Now that just wouldn't do. What did he need to do to sooth your aches? Your fears and your anxieties? Anything, you just need to tell him.

"Something keeping you up?"

You moved again. Only this time, you gently moved one of your lean legs over his hips, settling it on the other side of his hips as you straddled him. Your hands laid on his chest, fingers splayed across his pecs as one of the straps of the tank top you wore to bed slid down your shoulder.

He swallowed harshly, face lighting up in a pure crimson. Not that you could see in the limited light. He could see you though. Nothing but drowsy lust and fatigued seduction as the moonlight highlighted your very being.

He almost feared he was dreaming again.

He didn't even know what to do with his hands at this point, holding them uselessly just over your thighs.

Then you nodded, one hand moving to the hem of your shirt, disappearing under the fabric that hid your core from him. He sucked in a harsh breath when your forearm caught the fabric, raising it with your movements as your fingers gently flossed between your labia lips. You weren't wearing any bottoms, at all, and your fingers shined in the limited light.

He swallowed again, aching to replace your fingers with his own, hell even with his face, but his brain had short circuited. Fried. Crashed. Those braincells just flew straight out the window as he practically drooled at the image over top of him. His hips bucked minutely before he righted himself.

"You could say that." You hummed, head rolling back as your fingers moved to circle your clit before pulling away as your shirt fell back. The hand that remained on his chest moved to settle right beside his head, handling your weight as you gently pulled the band of his pants down just enough for his cock to bounce out. It dripped onto his stomach, eagerly awaiting attention as his breath caught.

You licked your lips, settling back onto his thighs as your deft fingers wrapped around him. He hissed at the sensation, bucking into your palm. You lips upturned into a devious smirk, gently tightening your grip before you began to pick up a steady rhythm. He groaned, ears pinning to his head as every nerve jolted in excitement.

The adrenaline seemed to kickstart his brain again as one of his hands landed on one of your thighs, the other creeping up to your naval. Your movements halted for a fraction of a second. He took the initiative, fingers copying your earlier movements.

Your entire body shivered above him, but you continued your pace, dragging up and down deliciously. Even as his thumb padded in a steady circle around your clit, you remained so. Until he angled his hand to prod his middle finger against your opening. You shuddered once more, only this time you let out a harmonious whine, back arching into him. "Goddess, Four-" You gently gasped, speed picking up. Your thumb gently circled the head of his cock before swiping over the top of it, smoothing pre-cum up and down his shaft to ease the motions. He whined and withered underneath of you, easing a second finger into your cunt. Your own slick dripped down his fingers and onto his palms as your own noises echoed out, ringing in his ears like a symphony.

At some point your eyes had closed, but when he looked up, they were open and looking right at him as you slowly moved to lean on his chest. His fingers never stopped, matching your own bobbing hand. "You are so gorgeous, Link."

He keened, something high and pretty, as pure euphoria ran through his veins in a hot flash. It was too quick and too unpredictable for him to mitigate, a moan leaving his lips as hot white streaks painted both his torso and your own. His fingers never stopped though and it seemed his own wonton noises sent you over as you shook and twitched above him. Your breaths came in hot pants against his cheeks as he felt like his entire soul just ascended. The only reminder that this was real and that just happened being the mixed fluids cooling on his chest.

Maybe this was why you didn't mind sharing a room with him.

[infernaleikon]

Imagine Cal Kestis meet Obikin

sorry for the late response, anon, i was gaming through jedi survivor and my single braincell didn't process or respond to anything beyond that.

anyway. after playing js, i firmly believe that in a different universe cal could’ve been obi-wan’s second padawan tbh because he is just bitchy, sassy and arrogant enough while outsourcing his single braincell to BD-1 and doing ridiculous shit that Should Not Be Done.

and because obi-wan hangs around anakin a lot who’s also training ahsoka, cal would pick up a combination of the most outrageous skills and behaviours known to the galaxy, so it would be the four of them to wreaking havoc not only on whatever villain or beast they encounter but also on the nerves of one mace windu. obi-wan would, as he always does, pretend he’s entirely innocent and that cal is picking up mannerisms that he himself is not teaching while anakin holds up a sign with huge bold letters saying “everything we know, we learned from obi-wan”.

anakin is, of course, jealous and irritable and mean at first, because how dare obi-wan take on a new padawan but i think he’d get over it as soon as he realizes cal becomes just as insane as the rest of them, has his own droid and little to no self-preservation instincts.

their combined mission reports read like “*explosion* *explosion* *almost total destruction of [vessel of massive size]* *very nearly started a civil war* *insane undertaking that would’ve killed anyone else* *droids save their asses* *somehow impossibly got the best possible outcome anyway*”

they do batshit crazy stuff and yet still somehow manage to cancel each other out in the end. it’s inexplicable and nobody understands it.

yoda cackles like a hyena while mace sends them off to their next assignment.

[whatever-you-can-give-me]

if it's okay to ask and no worries if not, do you have any advice on things to maybe keep in mind when writing tri-stamp characters? this feels silly to ask since canon is right there, but i'm curious about your thoughts on this since canon and fanon personification is a really interesting mesh to wade through, so to speak, and i've like the meta you've shared recently on it. have a good one!

i am by no means an expert and the answer is in fact "watch canon again and act like you have never read a fanfiction in your life and take diligent notes" but also that takes time and it's kind of hard to forget fanon when you consume a bunch of it so here are my Hot Takes as a person who is Autistic About Details, character-focused bc those are the details i am autistic-est about:

- everyone in this show is Kind Of A Disaster. they are managing their trauma about as poorly as it's possible to do (tbh, that's kind of the point!)

- also, specific to the multi-canon issue: stampede s1 is pre-timeskip (this is especially relevant to trimax comparisons, as all of trimax — the manga after the first two volumes of trigun — takes place after the two year timeskip.) the guys are not fully cooked. they're at the beginning or the midpoint of their character arcs.

some notes on specific guys:

- vash refuses to process his feelings or admit that he might have the wrong approach in some scenarios. i've got some. Opinions on the general babygirlness of fanon vash but the tl;dr is that he is a Lot more stubborn and a Lot less well-adjusted than he would like you to think he is.

- wolfwood is a walking raw nerve in clothes that don't fit. he's a mess. every single one of his behaviors is a trauma response, and he's much, much worse at hiding it than either of the classic wolfwoods. he's having such a hard time. he's young, we don't know how young, but we know he's never really been independent or in control of his own life.

- meryl is very much at the beginning of her character arc — in s1 she's in way over her head, and pretty sure if she just sticks to her guns and is Brave that things will work out (she is 23 she is not prepared for any of this) she is not the braincell she is flying as blind as anyone.

- roberto is the only one with any sense of self-preservation but he gives it up about when he realizes meryl has none. also he's a wolfwood. he's the spare bits of classic wolfwood that stampede!ww doesn't have because he's a disaster on two legs

- i have both Fewer Thoughts and So Many Thoughts on knives that he'd probably have to be his own post w a bunch of cws. stampede knives is. there's a sadism to him that makes the stampede version stand out — he's much more keen to get his hands dirty than other versions.

feel free to ask if you want my thoughts/meta/a deep-dive on anything/one specifically, i Love to talk about my opinions.

[pangolinheart]

Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?

Also asked by the ever-lovely @mornandil!

I wouldn't say that Rhiki necessarily has a single best friend. She has a handful of different friends that she's very close to, but her relationships to them are all very different.

She's very close to both Alphinaud and Alisaie. She and Alphinaud have been through a lot together and have had a lot of time to come to understand each other. Their relationship was a little rocky through ARR - Rhiki felt that he was maybe a little bit pompous, and that he probably wouldn't want to associate with her at all if she wasn't the Warrior of Light - but through Heavensward they had time to talk talk to each other and they both grew a little bit as people. Now they're great friends, even if there's only one braincell between them.

Rhiki feels a lot of kinship with Alisaie. They have a lot of similar struggles and doubts. They both prefer rushing into action to spending a long time planning and deliberating. Neither of them are very good in formal, diplomatic settings (Alisaie because she just doesn't have the patience for them and Rhiki because she's incapable of maintaining an air of dignity for longer than a few minutes). They both have struggled to find their place in the world, and both are terrified of being left alone. Rhiki feels like she really understands Alisaie, and wants to be there for her as much as she can. Besides that, she also finds Alisaie to be charming and funny, so they get along famously. Rhiki's very ride-or-die with both of the twins.

Tataru is another of Rhiki's closer friends. After all, who doesn't like Tataru? Rhiki likes that Tataru is so positive and cheerful, and she seems like she'd be a lot of fun to hang out with. They both are interested in fashion, so Rhiki's always excited to see the new outfit designs she comes up with for the Scions. Tataru also seems like she'd be down for more fun and frivolous activities than a lot of the Scions. Things like shopping, sightseeing, going out for coffee, going dancing, going to the beach. And she has her finger on the pulse of wherever they end up settling, so she's fun to gossip with. When they spend time together Rhiki feels a little more like a normal person and less like the single pillar propping up all of Eorzea.

All that being said, there are still parts of herself Rhiki hides from the twins and Tataru. She'll selectively reveal some of her struggles sometimes, if she feels like they're something her friends would understand or might also be grappling with, but she's hesitant to confide all of her troubles in them. With the twins it's partially because they're younger. She wants to be a good role model and doesn't think it would be right to burden them with her own troubles. With Tataru it's more that she doesn't want to stress her out. She knows that Tataru would be worried about her even if there was nothing she could do, and she doesn't want to be the source of that anxiety. For all three of them Rhiki wants to be the kind of person that they can rely upon and who they can turn to for support when they need it. And sometimes that means trying to hide when she's a total mess.

For this reason, though it would be a stretch to say they really "get along," Rhiki considers Sidurgu to be one of her closer friends. They tend to bicker and get on each other's nerves, intentionally or unintentionally, but Rhiki finds herself feeling very safe around Sid. She feels like he understands a lot of the emotions she struggles with, and like she doesn't have to maintain an image of undaunting heroism for him. It helps that he doesn't seem particularly interested one way or the other about her gig as the Warrior of Light. She doesn't feel like he judges her for being a total disaster, and he's really not in a position to. He's just as much of a mess as she is, after all. (There may also be a level of "Who cares what he thinks, anyway?" lol.) So when she's really been through it and feels the need to unburden herself she makes her way to Ishgard and, after Rielle goes to bed, gets drunk with Sid and lets herself process some of her emotions. It's... probably not that healthiest coping mechanism, but it does seem to help.

((OC Questions on the Seven Forms of Love by @mimble-sparklepudding))

[relax-and-read-on]

And you think no one would have the urge to read those Primarch sexual habits headcanons of yours!?

That means: yes please give us those headcanons, it is always appreciated :D

I am INNOCENT HERE. Clearly, I was asked. And you are not even the only anon. Beware this post get... Very horny and graphic. Also, like always, Corvus is a trans woman in my hc.

Primarch sexual habits hc: super nsfw edition!!!

Perturabo: I firmly think he's demisexual. But if he ever fall in love.... By the Emperor. He would be the kind of extremely focused, hyper attentive lover. Is he good at it at first??? Hell no. He would cum in a second and have no idea what to do. But he would WORK on it and become, at least for the singular person he love, the best of lover. Like being above them and surrounding them.

Magnus: SUCH a fucker. He project incredibly dirty vision directly in his partner brain. Stimulate their nerves ending at a distance. Psychically fuck them, literally. By the time he get to actual in the flesh fuckery, hes probably half distracted. Like to experiment, and usually stick to his legion to also get nice psychic sex back. That being said, he does enjoy a good sparring that lead to hot, agressive sex with his bros. Pretty damn good at it. Like doing it while floating mid air, the show off.

Roboute: Shy in the street, freak in the sheet. If it's just a casual partner, its pretty transactional, but if he like the other person??? Holly fuck. Love being the big spoon and taking his partner from behind, it let his hands free to explore their body. Very into kissing too. Most likely to bed xenos, at least one specific one. Unfairly good at it. It would be annoying that he's always this perfect if he wasn't also so sweet and funny in bed.

Vulkan: very much into casual fling!! He's just so busy, he can't really focus on one person in his life. He's a very generous lover, and you know he kinda enjoy using his giant size to just.... Fuck a partner against a wall. Pretty vanilla, once you get above the size kink. Middle of the road when he come to sex, but expect a TON of cuddles after.

Lorgar: religions said that touching your own dick is bad :(... That said, I could see him developing some of those weird loopholes like "as long as its not penetrative its fine". And with how much he talk, he would be a CHAMPION at eating out. So yeah, lot's of oral sex, some handy, but no "actual fucking". He would be a minute man about it anyway. It has to be in a bedroom under the covers with the light closed.

Fulgrim: I lil bit if everything, all the time. Has performed every single sex act in the galaxy that could be done with a consenting partner. Second most likely to fuck xenos. Give fantastic head. That said, has a tendancy to turn into a pillow princess. Very, very good in bed in general, if you enjoy doing most of the work. Ferrus has also a tendancy to barge in.

Ferrus: Has only ever slept with Fulgrim, and does not plan on changing that. He's mostly pure strength when he fuck, and would probably brake in two a normal human, and probably most astartes. The only person able to make him patient is his beloved Fulgrim. That said, he does enjoy watching him getting fucked or fucking other people. It's not like he could have ever truly kept up with his Libido anyway. Love having Fulgrim ride him.

Konrad: ohboi. I made entire post about this man and sex. But... Yeah. It's not good. Or healthy. The only one risking it regularly is Sevatar. Konrad fling wildly between the two extreme of bdsm. Will beg to be choked and violently forced down, and then the day after, will beat his partner half to death. Blood is ALWAYS involved. Does have the braincell to avoid sleeping with anyone that isn't enhanced with super healing.

Sanguinius: Probably never really had much sex, and then Horus happened. And like. He's so in love yall. Ofc he's gonna match his lover energy and enthusiasm. Very tender and soft with him, live to please. He enjoy any positions where his wings aren't pinned down, but he has to admit to really liking having horus behind him, fucking him hard and with his hands around his sensitive wing base. Probably the kinkier of the two in the couple

Horus: used to be kind of a hoe. And a selfish lover. The kind that want to cum and dosn't care if his partner does. But then came Sanguinius. And boy. His entire sexuality got flipped around. Literally the sexiest thing on the world in his eyes is how Sanguinius look stretched on his cock, with his wings fluttering. He will chatters everyone's ear off about his sex life, because EVERYONE need to know how beautiful and sexy Sang is. Love sitting down and having him in his laps.

Angron: I hc him as ace... But if he has to fuck? It's legit an extreme sport. Very few people are willing to risk it. The high hormones just mess too much with his brain. He prefer to minimise risk and have his partner ride him to hell and back. The only human who ever dared to sleep with him post nails was Lotara, and let me tell you, she was the one in control. Very much one of the worst at sex.

Jaghatai: Probably the most into normal human of the whole family. And yes, he has fucked people on top of his bike. That said, he's damn good at it, even if he take him a looong time to cum. It's one of the rare thing he's not fast about. Best hands around, and has a mild exhibitionism kink. (Un)surprisingly into creampie. Has an incredibly dirty mouth when he wants.

Alpharius/Omegon: The ones that go to normal humans the most. I can seem them having rather niche kink too. Very into masturbating and toys, they just have that vibe. Do they fuck well? Not really, they are so average. If they are bottom, they lay there like starfish. They don't fuck one another, but they don't mind having 3 ways with some of their other brothers. Gotta exploit that twin fetish.

Rogal: See, he's not actually bad at all in bed. Sure, he's rigid, but god damn he has a pretty nice dick. Yes it's gonna be missionary, and there's gonna a schedule and a time table. But he also is single minded on the fact that his partner has to cum for sex to be "over". Very much not about the emotional aspect of sex

Mortarion: has HUGE issues with his own body, and is very careful on who gets to lay with him. A few of his favorite sons, maybe some of his closest brothers... He's the kind of person who enjoy it slow and tender. Tantric sex is happening here, as it can be very hard for him to orgasm. Prefer the intimate aspect of it. If your into it, a fantastic partner. Enjoy missionary the most. In hc as intersex, and he is very shy about exploring that specific part of himself.

Leman: Listen. Yeah, you have have to be into big hairy dude. And public nudity. And possibly straight up being bend over in front of half his legions. But my god, that dick is spectacular. phenomenal. He got no business being this good in the sack, it's just not fair. Definitly always on top, unless you can make him submit in a sexy way. Doggy style, all day every day.

Corvus: She is very, very shy about sex. Very discret too. Not a virgin, and she probably prefer toys than trusting herself to others. It's not due to any gender issues, she's just that private. If she does end up having sex, she LOVE being in charge, using strap on and tying up her lovers. Will never be caught talking about her sex life in public.

Lion: He does. Not. Fuck. The two person he was ever truly horny for to the point of trying are Luther and Leman. He's gay and DEEPLY in the closet and not acting on it. If he ever did (and I have half a mind he may have with Leman), he would be.... Very agressive. The kind that leave his partner bruised and bloody. He would also straight up refuse to bottom, toxic masculinity at play here. Probably the worst lay of the family.

That.... Was REALLY horny. If any of yall nore details on someone, send ask!!?

[pies-writes-and-more]

okay so i don't think anyone's done this before but could you do the hq bois with an s/o who has a really long ahoge😂 like emma's from tpn

the bois get curious and try to brush it down but it just pops back up LMAO

pairing: kageyama tobio, ushijima wakatoshi, & yamaguchi tadashi all with a gn!reader

warnings: some uber fluff, and kageyama whacking you in the head because he’s a dumbass with one braincell lol

a/n: haosdihfsidhfs i'm dying omg okay hahaha this is so funny LOL thank you for sending this in anon!!! this was such a funny concept to me hahaha i hope i did okay with it!! 

"ahoge: Consisting of a single cute, often long, lock of hair sticking out from the top of the head, it is most often used to identify foolish, bumbling or carefree characters"

haikyuu masterlist

Kageyama has glared for too long at this long piece of hair that sticks out from the rest of your locks. He needed to know what was wrong with it. All day, he had watched it flutter in the wind while the two of you walked around town shopping. There was nothing that annoyed him more in this moment because it kinda reminded him of Hinata's stupid hair too. Except yours was pretty and not at all an ugly shade like the tangerine's.

Kageyama knew that you always got annoyed with him when he messed up your hair when the two of you were out, but this long strand was just really getting on his nerve. He just had to whack it down or something.

You were quickly greeted with a swift hit on your head, Kageyama's hands trying to smooth down your little ahoge. "H-hey! Kageyama, stop it!" You groaned, swatting as his hands you angrily stomped away from him slightly to try and fix the damage. "What's your problem?" You huffed, glaring up at him.

Kageyama was quick to give you an apologetic smile, staring down at his feet before saying, "I just.... wanted to know why it stuck up like that." His whole face was lighting up like a christmas decoration as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

You glanced back at him in confusion before looking up at your head (as if you could see it from your perspective) before hitting his arm kinda playfully, "You could've just asked," you pointed out with a shake in your head. "Didn't have to ruin my hair like that... now I look like an idiot," you sighed, trying to use the glass in a shop window to help fix your hair.

"I'm sorry," Kageyama apologized quickly, feeling the regret of his rash decisions. "I'll make it up to you! Do you want boba?"

"Fine, but you better get me a pastry too," you insisted and he nodded eagerly, practically sprinting down the street before sprinting all the way back to be like,

"Did... did you want to walk there with me? Or-"

You let out a laugh and nodded, taking his arm in yours with a half playful half annoyed look in your eyes, "Sometimes, Kageyama, you just make me wanna smack your head," you told him as the two of you walked. "Asshole ruining my hair," you mumbled under your breath.

Kageyama just shot you another apologetic sorrowful look - he really hadn't thought it through, "I'm sorry, but... you still look like the most perfect person ever. I think your hair looks beautiful," he admitted quietly, his ears going pink in embarrassment.

So you forgave him. Because he was cute and he was going to buy you boba and some snacks so what more could you ask for? So of course you forgave him.

Until you woke up from a nap later to him playing with your ahoge, swatting it around like a little kitten and a new toy. He was going to have to buy you a whole lot more snacks now.

Ushijima has also spent a lot of time staring at your ahoge. He's oddly fascinated by it and often will flick his finger at it when you're not paying attention. Then he'll look away like he didn't do anything because he didn't want you to know how fascinated he was with this piece of your hair that seemed longer than the others.

One thing that Ushijima always loved to do was pat your head affectionately. But lately you noticed that his hand would stay for a while longer and then he'd life it off you slowly, before pressing it back down again.

You honestly thought that Ushijima was just trying to be more affectionate, but you finally caught his eye when he was doing this once, noticing how frustrated he seemed, "Ushi? Whatcha doing?" you asked, making him pull his hand away quickly in a fluster.

"Nothing," he stated simply, his tone so even but the look in his eyes as he tried to turn away from you gave him away.

You laughed as you quickly stood in front of him again, watching him try to calm himself down from getting caught, "What? Do you have something against my hair or something?" you asked curiously, watching his eyes.

Ushijima shifted in his feet, shoving his hands uncomfortably into his pockets, "Why does it do that?" he finally asked, looking at your hair.

"Grow?" You asked teasingly.

Ushijima shook his head and reached up to flick his fingers at your ahoge again, "That," he tried to explain, his brow creasing as he tried to understand. "Do you... do you make it do that? Like Tendō and his hair?"

Your jaw dropped slightly at the mention of his best friend, "Tendō's hair doesn't... just naturally do that?"

Ushijima shook his head, smiling when he realized the two of you had thought the same thing, "No. I asked him once. He says he uses a product. I think it suits him though."

"Mm. Me too," you decided with a nod, smiling up at him. "I don't do anything to it. It's just kinda always wanted to go up," you explained, reaching up to twirl the lock around your fingers. "Does it bother you?"

Ushijima shook his head quickly, leaning down to press a kiss on your head, "It makes you very unique. And I love you for how different you are."

You couldn't help but feel your whole body go warm in response because Ushijima always said these things so casually. You couldn't help but laugh every time you found him playing or staring at your hair now, knowing he was just wondering about your gravity-defying strands. But what you didn't know, is that a lot of the times that you didn't catch him, Ushijima was too busy staring at how wonderful you were, how the sun kissed your skin, how your eyes widened when you were excited about something - he was always busy staring at you as a whole, even if sometimes he was just intrigued by your hair.

Yamaguchi thinks that your ahoge is the cutest. fucking. thing. ever. You were already the most perfect human being but now??? With your cute little strand just sticking up like that?? His heart swoons every time he sees you and he's really not sure how to handle it.

Yachi was the one who pointed it out to him, because this sweet boy probably didn't even really notice at first. When the two of you first started dating, he was too nervous to look you in the eye so he just looked at the floor or the ceiling or literally anywhere else. But Yachi asked him if you guys had planned the same hair style or if it was just fate and that's when he practically fainted in how cute you were.

Your little hair sticking up like that was kinda like his hair, how his hair stuck up sometimes. But yours was much longer and made you look so much cuter than his did.

He likes to play with your hair when you two are alone and he finally feels a little less nervous around you, when you tell him it's okay of course. His fingers often play with your one long strand, smiling to himself because it just made him feel like you two belonged together.

"We're like that super cute couple that matches!" You told him one day when the two of you showed up to a date wearing similar colours. "Even our hair sticks out the same!" You beamed up at him, reaching up to play with his hair for a moment.

He literally almost died that day. You were much too cute and he had no clue how to handle you.

"How do you get it to... look like that?" Yamaguchi asked you as the two of you strolled through the park. "Your hair I mean."

"Hm? Like this part?" You asked, playing with the one long lock sticking out your head. "I don't really do anything. Normally, when it's wet, it stays down but as soon as it's dry enough, it just pops right back up," you shrugged.

Yamaguchi nodded slowly - so you really were just perfect after all. He never felt like he could get his hair just right but you seemed to do it effortlessly.

"I like yours though," you continued, smiling up at him and reaching up to pat his head lovingly. "Your hair is always so soft and smooth. Much softer than I ever would've imagined!"

Yamaguchi's cheeks and ears were both showing just how nervous you made him, making you laugh because he really was just the cutest little bean ever.

The longer you two are together, the more Yamaguchi feels comfortable with you. And soon, you two tease each other nonstop, poking and flicking things at each other's hair, tugging on it playfully to get one another's attention, grins spread widely on your faces.

Yamaguchi always wondered if ahoge's were hereditary or at least had some genetic component to it. He wouldn't tell you this for a long time coming, he wouldn't want to scare you off with too serious of talks of course, but he wondered if your kids would have an ahoge like you. Would it be as perfect?

Of course it would, Yamaguchi decided internally, smiling as he watched you talk about something you were oddly passionate about. After all, anything remotely related to you must be perfect.

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you'd like to join or be removed!)

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[cc-tinslebee]

Okay, so, about a month ago, my brain just conjured up probably the most random au possible: Legally Blonde Adam Banks/banksway au.

Believe me, it's as chaotic as it sounds, but lowkey, I'm kind of in love with it.

Adam never joins the Ducks because there aren't any Ducks to join. Bombay never had to do community service with District Five so there was no one to realise that Adam was on the wrong team all along. He continues to play for the Hawks and, eventually, the Eden Hall Warriors, never getting the chance to become the well-rounded individual we know him as because he's never known anything other than his rich privilege and the "win at all costs" mentality. He ends up going to college on a hockey scholarship and not straight to the NHL or the AHL (shocking, I know). While he's unsure of his major and where his life is heading, he finds solace in the fraternity he joins, which, by some sheer twist of fate, Jesse and Guy have also miraculously joined.

And his life is perfect for a while. He's the star player on yet another school's hockey team, all of his fraternity brothers adore him (though, it took a bit for Jesse to warm up to him), and his secret, not-really-official thing with his former teammate is going swimmingly. (Not to slander my boy, but I was picturing Larson for the role of Warner, purely because the alternative seems to be Rick Riley and that's kind of an unsettling image-- though, maybe that's the point?)

But then his secret boyfriend breaks up with him because, with his high aspirations in life, he needs to be "more serious." And dating Adam Banks, a guy in a stereotypical fraternity who only really knows hockey, in 2001 isn't exactly the white-picket-fence life he's looking for if he's going to be a politician.

And since this non-Duck Adam clearly doesn't have the braincells that canon Adam does, in his devastation, he decides it's a brilliant idea to prove that he is serious by applying to Harvard Law. His parents try to talk him out of it, since they want him to pursue his dreams of hockey, but being a lawyer is a respectable career so they can't exactly argue with him.

He gets accepted thanks to Jesse, Guy, and the rest of his fraternity helping him study for the LSAT and keeping him on track. He's trying his darndest when he gets to Harvard, but (despite his struggle not being as significant as Elle Woods'), not a lot of people take him seriously as an aspiring lawyer, considering him a meathead jock who only got in because of daddy's money.

And that's about the time he meets Linda, who he vaguely remembers from his time at Eden Hall. What he doesn't remember is her being so competitive, because she's deliberately beating him at every turn, just trying (and kind of succeeding) at making him look like a fool. To make matters worse, all of the sudden, she's engaged to his ex-boyfriend, who is very adamant about never telling anyone that he and Adam were more than friends (because, you know, early 2000s homophobia and such).

But things get a little brighter for Adam when he meets Charlie, an undergrad teacher's assistant who gives him all sorts of advice about surviving the school. He introduces him to Professor Bombay, who Charlie claims is the only reason he survived his first year and quickly becomes Adam's favourite teacher, and Charlie's childhood friend Connie, who aspires to be a state senator one day. Charlie's charismatic and even if he's not the most well-liked person at Harvard, Adam feels a weight lifted off his shoulders once he becomes friends with him and Connie. Things become a little easier.

Just before he and Charlie start getting really close, Adam meets Casey at a local diner on a day he's feeling particularly upset and alone, and the two start bonding almost immediately. (He bullshits his way into scaring an ex-husband of hers with legal repercussions he has no idea about and she basically adopts him in return.) It takes him an embarrassing amount of time to realise that it's not just a coincidence that Casey and Charlie share the same last name, which results in poor Adam feeling extremely embarrassed for not connecting the dots sooner while Charlie's having the time of his life teasing him for it. Eventually, when the dust of that settles, Charlie and Adam join forces to set Casey and Bombay up, their schemes borderline ridiculous at times, but they'rere not exactly failing.

And after realising he isn't the Warriors moron she thought he was for going on five years, Linda starts warming up to Adam, which is surprisingly nice? She figures out on her own that there used to be something between him and her fiancé, and is more understanding of Adam than she is mad. Linda actually spills to him the lengths Adam's ex had to go through to actually get into Harvard, aligning more with the rumours about Adam's acceptance being bought than having the aptitude for the law that Linda and Adam share. (This may be me saying Linda and Adam friendship rights, what of it-- /lh)

To make things all the better, Bombay chooses Adam, Linda, Connie, Charlie, and Adam's ex to be on his legal team for a murder case he's responsible for (and while he knows about Adam and Charlie's ploys to hook him up with Charlie's mom, they're his favourites, so he doesn't say anything).

And this is just so much better than anything he had before. After all the initial unpleasantness, Linda and Connie become some of the most genuine friends he's ever had. He misses Guy and Jesse, of course, and he'd never take them for granted, but back when he was with them at the fraternity, a part of him was still being as superficial as he had been in middle and high school. Being authentic for once in his life is liberating.

And Charlie's just about the most considerate person Adam's ever met. Adam doesn't even mind when Charlie teases him over his absurd and juvenile insults because he's just this source of light for Adam, supporting him and always pushing him to be the best version of himself. His ex hardly even exists when Charlie's around because his energy is just so contagious that Adam starts falling for him long before he even realises it. (And when Jesse and Guy come to visit, there's a moment where it all clicks and the four of them realise their history together, however brief. I strongly maintain that they'd be that Starkid meme: "Fucking Hawks? We hated you guys!" "We hated ourselves!" But it does make Adam realise how much better off he would've been if he had Charlie and his team when he was little instead of the Hawks, and it just further makes him understand that people like Larson and Rick Riley just aren't worth it.)

But there's also another revelation Adam goes through. Between helping Casey, his rigorous studies, and his position working with/for Bombay, something just clicks for Adam. He likes being able to help people, fighting for the good guys who may not have the resources they need to be properly defended. Practicing law calls to him in the same way hockey did; it's the feeling of knowing this is what he's meant to do. He still loves hockey, he always will, but it helps him finally grasp that there's a world for him outside of it; when hockey ends for him, there's something equally as rewarding that he can pursue, which was something he never thought he would have.

I haven't a single coherent thought about this au past that point except for these little inklings of an ending--

There's absolutely no SA scene like the movie had; Bombay's just Adam and Charlie's favourite teacher and those are his boys, so he's going to make sure they succeed as if his life depends on it.

With that said, Bombay believes in them both enough to let them finish the case because with their joined determination/stubbornness (and Adam's in with the defendant), Adam and Charlie are a force to be reckoned with and he knows it.

After a handful of comedic failures, they do end up succeeding at their attempts to set Casey and Bombay up, and they start living together sometime during the kids' Junior year :) (All I'm asking is for one (1) story with a Casey/Gordon endgame-- I just think they're neat--)

Linda dumps her fiancé (as she should) and goes on to live her best wlw life as a successful lawyer. (If I'm not mistaken, Linda's actress actually is a lawyer, which is a pretty cool fun fact!!)

Adam and Linda's ex gets the Warner ending because, man, screw that guy /lh (rip to Larson if this is him, I'm sure you'll get a nice endgame in some other universe, king)

Honorary mention for Connie, who was going long distance with Guy this entire time to everyone but Jesse's shock, and they get their Game Changers endgame of State Senator Connie Moreau and stay-at-home dad Guy Germaine with their seven -- sorry, three -- children :)

Adam's an absolute bundle of nerves after graduation, which definitely concerns Charlie. So, when he asks if he's okay, Adam starts nervously monologuing about their time together until he runs out of breath. He ends it by proposing to him, and Charlie smiles so surely at him when he says yes. They both become damn good public defenders and stay engaged until the point they can legally get married, but they're practically husbands long before that happens.

Also, if I did my math right (which I should’ve, it’s my entire basis for my Share Your Address series), the Ducks’ would have the same graduating class year as Elle Woods anyway (2004), which is pretty neat!

Thank you once again for listening to me ramble :)

[raeynbowboi]

Incubi Headcanons part 2

Ace is Verosika’s second-in-command, and her lieutenant who keeps her crew in line when she’s not around. He settles the group disputes that he doesn’t feel that Verosika needs to be bothered with, and usually, his word is law, unless Verosika overrides him.

Ace likes that Josh is so stupid and reckless, as it gives Ace an excuse to take care of him. His love language includes acts of service, and he likes that he feels so needed and appreciated by Josh.

Ace craves more than anything the intimacy of a relationship. He’s given his heart away too carelessly in the past, and it has always blown up in his face. As a result, he promised himself he’d never date another incubus again. But then his one night stand with Josh happened and whoops, feelings were caught.

Ace is usually pretty chill, but if he was ever angry enough to bring out his full demon form, only Vortex is strong enough to restrain him.

Ace met Verosika when he was hired as a back-up dancer for one of her music videos. He was great at helping the other dancers with their timing and keeping them in line. Verosika was impressed and she hired him onto her official squad of back-up dancers, and made him her choreographer. When Verosika’s boyfriend dumped her right before an upcoming award show, she asked Ace to be her plus one, and from then on, he was her right hand, and the first official member of her entourage. Kiki is one of her other old back-up dancers who managed to stick around, who Ace recruited for her.

Ace met Josh through an ex-boyfriend who was friends with Josh. Initially brushing Josh off as an annoying immature brat, he found Josh later that night overdosing in the bathroom and took him to the hospital. Since then, Ace felt he needed to watch out for Josh and keep him from hurting himself like that again.

Ace follows Verosika because at least under her, he’s somebody. People get out of his way. The paparazzi snap pictures of him. Bouncers let him into VIP sections. So even if he’s not a huge fan of Verosika barking orders at him, he’d rather have a mean boss with amazing perks than be his own boss working some street corner, or pole dancing in some club. While she can be a difficult boss, Ace does admire her freedom and her dedication to her own happiness, something he often neglects out of self-restraint. He rarely has the nerve to do things he wants to do, and spending time with Verosika and her crew has helped Ace become more daring and bold.

Josh has a whole one (1) braincell, and sometimes he just straight up loses it.

Josh can handle the most lewd inuendos and double entendres immaginable without even batting an eye. But one genuine compliment about his smile, or the sound of his laughter, or how pretty his eyes are and Josh gets incredibly flustered, and doesn’t know how to respond. It’s one of the few things that can disarm his usual cocky persona.

Outside of Ace, Milky and Kat are Josh’s closest friends in the crew. Kat likewise has but a single braincell, and he’s a bit of a prankster and a memelord, so it’s never a good idea to leave them alone together. Milky encourages Josh’s stupid antics, as she finds them amusing.

Josh is obsessed with his phone and social media. He posts about everything going on and shares things he probably shouldn’t. Verosika actually had to make a rule that the entire crew can’t post about her without her approval first, and this involves her taking Josh’s phone from him a lot to make sure he doesn’t leak information to her fanbase again. He tweeted one time about going to a tanning salon with Verosika, and by the time they came out, the entire building was swamped with fans asking her for autographs and photo ops. Luckily Vortex was able to escort them to safety, but Josh did not get out of that blunder unscathed.

Josh straight up cannot take care of himself. If left unattended, Josh would probably end up killing himself in his own stupidity and ineptitude. He can’t cook for himself, do his own laundry, handle his own bills, or be left alone with drugs. He needs Ace to keep him in line  and make sure he eats more than junk food and alcohol to survive. Josh actually doesn’t mind this, as having Ace looking out for him makes Josh feel safe and protected, rather than smothered.

Before Josh joined Verosika’s entourage, he had accrued a massive debt to loan sharks due to his inability to budget or handle his money. He managed to crash at Ace’s place, and during this time, he met Verosika through Ace. Ace convinced Verosika that Josh would be a good addition to her crew, and she agreed to give Josh a chance as a favor to Ace. Luckily, things worked out, and Josh made enough money being part of Verosika’s crew to pay off his debts. But even once he paid off his debts, Josh continued to live with Ace right up until the one night stand that took them from roommates to a couple living together.

[where-is-my-beheading-ceremony]

Aaaaa headcannons!

Claytro edition! (purely based on my personal thoughts)

(note: feel free to enjoy, but if this ship is not something you are interested reading about then I totally understand, have fun scrolling the Nexo Knights tags! ❤️)

-Clay is the only one that has actually managed to touch Jestro's hair, but it was a lot shorter when they were still kids

-These two have regular sleepovers since after Jestro started training to be a royal Jester, they couldn't be roommates anymore

-Yes they were roommates for a few years and Merlok would read them bedtime stories

-Jestro gets cold in his sleep often so Clay would sleep with them to help them feel warmer along with the pile of 3 blankets

-The two also sleep together whenever they feel bad (had a nightmare, stressed, emotional). Less so as adults though since now they barely ever sleep

-Surprisingly, Jestro doesn't fear the cold too much. He doesn't enjoy it more so because of the memories of cold winters in the streets and not because of how cold he's feeling right now.

-Jestro and Clay treated each other with colorful bandages as kids since Jestro used to bruise easily and Clay would get bruises from training

-Jestro and Clay would occasionally text each other in seasons 1-2, more so when there's some celebration. Both wanted to know how the other is doing, but Jestro was far more reserved in giving out info

-Clay even called him on his birthday and snuck to the lava castle to leave a gift l without anyone knowing.

-Jestro did a similar thing, but he just threw a gift at them in the middle of battle because he didn't want to seem suspicious by gifting it genuinely. Clay still understood it and was very pleased

-They made friendship necklaces for each other back when they first met and wore them the whole time

-Clay was the first one to rip off the friendship necklace. Specifically, stone Clay when he first was woken up and still hadn't yet had the chance to remember his bond with Jestro

-Let's pretend Jestro wasn't hurt for the sake of our hearts since that hurt a l o t.

-Jestro had to be zapped after that emotional ride, so fresh with Mondtrox' magic, he too took it off, but kept both his and Clay's necklaces.

-Not long after, these two grow close together again as a duo

-Stone Clay and Corrupt Jestro was the thing that haunted everyone since they worked together and became terrifyingly good at causing mass destruction

-From the outside it didn't seem like they always got along since Stone Clay had some definite anger issues. Jestro always made sure not to talk to him too much during battles since that's when they're most riled up

-The time after battles between the two is spent well. They just hang out and talk, often plotting because they can and Jestro making fun of the knights, as well as giving Stone Clay more reasons to dislike them

-Both of their memories were iffy at that point, so wherever they remembered, they told each other

- Stone Clay was like Jestro's bodyguard who sometimes did a poor job at being one

-Not a day passed where Stone Clay didn't end up carrying Jestro in his arms

-Absolute power duo

-Honestly could've taken down the kingdom

-There's not much Clay could to to stop Monstrox from zapping Jestro

-The first time, he even made sure Jestro wouldn't move, not knowing what to expect and not realizing Jestro felt things completely differently since we'll, he wasn't stone

-The other times Clay just looked away since he still saw Monstrox as the superior out of everyone

-Jestro absolutely loved Clay's new violent nature and Clay absolutely loved how un-hinged Jestro was. The echo to Jestro's voice could even give his stone body shivers

-Jestro treated Stone Clay exactly how someone would treat their ex after he returned to the Knights

-After Season 4, Jestro looked like he'd need life support from how much of a negative impact Monstrox' magic left on him so Clay would occasionally secretly check up on how he's doing even if he's not supposed to interact with Jestro

-Jestro was absolutely not glad to see Clay because he knew that he woukd be the one to get in trouble for it, not the knight.

Now to something happier again!

-Clay always takes any chance given to him to carry Jestro in his arms

-Jestro takes any chance possible to praise Clay's work

-Clay allows Jestro to paint their nails

-Clay is just an absolute himbo, who only has enough braincells to be a knight and leader

-These two have terrible social skills

-Their first kiss was back in their academy days, on one of their last years

-They were both sort of curious is all. But it didn't change much to their friendship since the two didn't feel like they were quite enough for the other

-They still don't have any spoken relationship.

-It's just been mutual simping for each other since their academy days

-The two would be completely content with never being in a relationship their whole lives

-Which is why they need encouragement from others to actually get a move on with their relationship

-Everyone in the academy thought they were a thing. Every single person. But it wasn't spoken about much since it became the usual thing.

-At the start however, there were many rumors and a lot of gossiping. People were worried for Clay's reputation when he himself didn't even feel worried about it.

-Clay is comically stubborn when it comes to seperating him from Jestro.

-Jestro let's go a lot easier, even if he doesn't want to.

-The amount of times Clay had cornered Jestro with both his arms and thought it was a casual thing to do is ridiculous.

-Jestro learns a lot more when Clay helps him study than when he studies in class

-Surprisingly, both performed a lot better whenever they had a task to do together.

-Since Clay doesn't brag about himself, Jestro makes sure to tell as many great things as possible about Clay. Like he'd tell heroic, almost over the top stories about whatever Clay does to other students

-Clay has definitely used Jestro as a weight for an exercise before

-Jestro seems like a mom whenever something bad happens to Clay. He always takes care of them and scolds them on a caring matter

-The amount of shock the teachers were when Clay had gotten into a fight with other students was definitely something.

-But Jestro definitely understood why Clay acted out. Yes he's a model student, but Clay always has to force himself not to speak out, frustration can build up.

-Jestro only wishes it wasn't because some students went overboard on throwing hurtful words towards Jestro and then later Clay. This happened when they were still quite young

-Jestro would wait for Clay when he had to sit through multiple detentions because of that one event

-Jestro's language is words

-Clay's love language is acts of service

-These two till this day have to hug at least once a week

-Clay only dares to show all of his sides around Jestro and Jestro gladly helps them express their frustrations and such. Clay even feels comfortable enough to openly complain about people that have been getting on his nerves.

-Jestro doesn't understand why Clay treats him almost like a porcelain doll. The knight doesn't even dare to hold his hand too tightly and always waits a second to be sure if he can touch Jestro in any way, like a hug.

-Clay is just very worried of causing even the smallest bits of discomfort to Jestro

-Jestro meanwhile doesn't hesitate for a second and nearly tackle hugs Clay instead of going for the careful approach

-Both often times speak out their minds about each other unintentionally so it would go like

"Clay I could just hold your face and kiss you right now!... Wait-I just couldn't think of a better way to explain my joy for my bestest friend ahahaha, yeah-"

"Jestro I'm, so glad to see you're doing well, I couldn't have handled seeing someone I love hurt by that-...because you're my best friend... Yes!"

-Jestro from the very start was a shameless hoarder of Clay's clothes. Whatever he gave them, he gladly accepted

-Whenever Jestro made something for Clay, Clay would spent half an hour staring at it, afraid to ruin it some way by using the thing gifted to him. Same goes with whatever pastries he gets, he feels almost guilty for eating them

-Clay has a few Plush toys that Jestro got him and Jestro's collection mostly consists of the ones Clay got him

-Jestro hasn't moved out of Knightonia only because Clay gives bear hugs and he absolutely loves them

-If given the chance, Jestro would sacrifice much more than Clay could for him even if it doesn't seem like it

-These two would always play hide and seek in Merlok's library and around the castle even as teens at times

-Both of them encourage each other to be childish when they want to be

-Clay has pulled a Romeo so many times and came to the castle late in the evening just to talk to Jestro through their balcony

-Jestro can actually play violin. He's not perfect, but he definitely knows how to play it. He convinced himself he's bad at it since his bad luck always causes the strings to snap

-Jestro has played violin for Clay whenever they're sick to keep them amused

-Jestro once thought about running away in the academy and Clay was so ready to run with them so Jestro immediately threw that idea aside

-These two are like baby ducklings, they follow each other closely almost all the time

-Clay used to always be the one to say "He asked for no pickles" but after Season 4 and Jestro's absolute disappointment in the kingdom and it's people, he became the one to say "he asked for no pickles"

-Clay is glad that after season 4, Jestro started paying almost no mind to how people of Knightonia view him, but it makes him a bit worried even. Especially when Jestro just uses the people's own feelings towards him for his own advantage:

.

Shop keeper: YOU! Came here to steal all my baked goods, burn the place to the ground???

Jestro:... yes.

Shop keeper: what-

Jestro: I just said yes. Now can I get some of those caramel croissants.

Shop keeper now worried for their life: o-oh! Here! They're on the house!!!!

Jestro coming out of the bakery: Here Clay, I got us some of those fresh baked ones!

Clay:...was it on the house again?

Jestro:...mmm...yes?

Clay lightly sighing and going in to pay for it.

.

-Jestro feels sour enough towards Merlok that after season 4, he feels the need to protect Clay from whatever they might say and makes sure there isn't anything they decided to keep secret from them

Last, but not least:

-no matter what happens in their lives, these two will always find a way to keep close to each other, even if it takes time. Couple or not, they're soulmates that will never move on from each other. Inseparable by fate itself.

[bungeenomin]

DELINQUENT- JAEMIN X Y/N SOCIAL MEDIA AU {11}

“hey y/n, can you stay back here for a second please?” ms park asks as you attempt to leave class after the bell to get to your study session with sungchan. great, now you’ll leave him waiting and you can’t even tell him. “na, you too” ms park less enthusiastically calls, looking at jaemin, who’s busy shoving donghyuck playfully. jaemin rolls his eyes before turning around and walking to ms park. 

“what?” jaemin bluntly asks, less than respectfully, no way you’d ever talk to a teacher. 

“manners jaemin!” ms park sighs. “i asked you both to stay back here because you both scored very differently in the test. complete opposite ends of the spectrum. jaemin, you did the worst in the class, y/n, you did the best in the class”

“okay and why am i stuck in your class to hear shit i know?” jaemin questions, clearly growing annoyed. 

“na jaemin watch your language! the reason i have you both here is because i want y/n to tutor you”

“what” both you and jaemin reply at the same time in shock. 

“yes y/n i want you to tutor jaemin. you’ve only moved here and you did fantastic on the test, i know you’ll be a great tutor for jaemin, and jaemin, i know you have potential to do well, you showed me you can before” 

“yeah whatever” jaemin sighs, “that was in the past, maybe i’ve lost all my math braincells”

ms park chuckles lightly, packing up her belongings. “i’m sure y/n will help restore them, won’t you y/n?”

“oh i don’t know ms park i-”

“of course she will ms park” jaemin smugly smirks, “we won’t take up anymore of your time now. have a good evening” and before you can even process what jaemin said, he’s pushing you out the door. 

“what the fuck jaemin” you pout as you turn to face the taller boy. 

“awh, does the precious princess really want to disappoint ms park?” jaemin mocks, “don’t think so. i doubt you’ll turn down being alone with me in my room either now, will you doll?” jaemin winks before walking down the hallway. he’s so unbearable. 

you would go after him and argue, but you were supposed to meet sungchan ten minutes ago. luckily, the library is right across from ms park’s class. you walk into the large library and it doesn’t take you long to find the brown haired boy. “sungchan i’m so sorry i’m late, ms park held me back to talk” you sigh before taking the seat across from sungchan and throwing your books down on the table. 

“ooh ms park, you in trouble?” sungchan chuckles, putting the pen he was previously writing with down. 

“the opposite, but it feels like a punishment” you pout, folding your arms on the table and putting your head on top of them. 

“hey don’t be all sad and pouty” sungchan coos, bringing a hand to pat your head comfortingly. you’re glad he can’t see your face right now, because you’re blushing like crazy. “what’s up?”

you finally lift your head from the table to explain, “she asked me to tutor na jaemin but he like, enjoys seeing me uncomfortable and annoying me”

sungchan’s entire body tenses at the name. “na jaemin? it doesn’t get much worse than him. be careful y/n, as you’re probably already aware, he’s not a fantastic person and not very easy to get along with. he’s troublesome, just- be careful yeah?”

you smile softly at sungchan’s concern, “thanks sungchan, i will. none of my encounters with him so far have been fantastic so i know to be careful with him”

“good” sungchan replies, a smile on his face, “now let’s get studying”

studying with sungchan went really fast. it was nice studying with him, both of you being able to help each other with what you don’t understand. taking breaks and talking, getting to know each other, joking around. it was nice. he was nice. 

“it’s almost seven, we should probably finish up, dinner is soon” sungchan smiles, poking you with his pen. 

you giggle softly, closing your book and starting to clean up. “yeah i’m starving. we got a lot done today!” 

the two of you walk to the exit together, soft smiles painted on both your lips, “i’ll text you later yeah?”

“of course” you blush softly. “see you later sungchan”

“see you y/n”

he’s nice. 

———————————————————————

main masterlist | previous | next

let me know what you think!

social media!au jaemin!au nct!au

pairing: jaemin x reader

genre: boarding school!au badboy!au fluff smut angst

warnings: drinking, smoking

summary: when your boarding school is forced to close, you and your friends move to the next nearest boarding school, neo high. you’re full of nerves as you enter the school. will your roommate be nice? your classmates? the teachers? but what happens when the only other person with a single room, situated beside yours, is the boy you can only describe as a delinquent that knocked all your books on the floor after running into you in the hallway?

tag list:

@neocluefor @obligatoryidolblog @thatonekpopsweater @bubudays @ajhdr @yoongsicles @taeilsith @queen-of-himbos @uhyikesbro @your-favourite-skittles @whoe-dis @vitaminhyunjin @moonylvi @yancupidxhyunjin @ygiirl @markistheloveofmylife @nctxtrash @sweetbulletproof @simplicitysbabe @staysstrays @fabshua @key201303 @ksoolive @angelbyg @junglewoos @bby-kji9 @helo-xx @wassup-haeyadwae @wanlore @cloudykeiji @daisyxiao @skittlez-area512 @moseleyleyhey @hen-marks99 @xiaojunsmintchocci

ask to be added!

[miraculouscontent]

(non-Miraculous asks)

Anonymous said:

Ok this may just be me but I hate deconstructions. I feel like they are always mean spirited and try to be dark and edgy and thinks that every single person is an asshole because that’s “realistic” when no it’s not. This maybe because I like superhero stories and love it when the heroes overcome their struggles.

I can agree for the most part. Whenever I hear “okay but what if it was dArK--” I’m just okay, gonna stop you right there.

Anonymous said:

I swear, nothing bothers me more than people who want Miraculous Ladybug to literally just be Yandere Simulator(with Marinette as Ayano, Alya as Info-chan, Adrien as Taro, Chloe as Osana, Lila as Kizana, Kagami as Megami, and Luka as Budo). It just grinds my gears, especially because they're, once again, framing Marinette as a stalker, which just makes her look bad, AND pits all the girls against each other for Mr. Generic Harem Protagonist, once a-fucking-gain. Just go play the actual game, ok?

All I'm hearing is that now I have to ship Ayano and Budo and write a fic where the ghost girl uses fancy fantasy magic to merge her soul with Ayano and lets her actually have emotions, healing her from being a yandere while the ghost girl (in a way) gets to live a life she was cut short of, also allowing Ayano to be happy and go onto be friends with all the rivals.

Extremely convoluted but that’s the only way we get happy endings in this house.

Anonymous said:

I remember how, when writing Sailor Moon, Naoko Takeuchi refused to bow to older male writers wanted, say, for the girls to be stereotypical manga characters, with one being overweight, one being a stereotypical nerd, etc. But Naoko wanted each of the girls to be beautiful and feminine. While I don't like that they all share a body type, I admire how she didn't listen to grown men when writing for and about young girls. And I can't help but think about how Madoka is the antithesis of all that.

I can appreciate writers who put their foot down to stick to their values. There are limits of course, but yeah, a women writing women probably shouldn’t be listening to a man’s input. I’m sure good advice exists buuut...

Anonymous said:

What is your ranking of the seasons of the year from most to least favorite and why?

Summer - I work best in the warmth

Spring - Always brings images of flowers blooming to mind

Autumn - Things are getting cold and I don’t like it

Winter - It can go choke for all I care

Anonymous asked:

Someone on TV Tropes actually said that the name Feminist Fantasy should be changed because "feminism excludes men the same way meninism excludes women" and actually had the nerve to link that to the "Not So Different" trope, as if women haven't been excluded throughout the history of almost every human society. Fortunately, someone responded to them in a way that technically amounted to "do your damn research" but I'm still facepalming so hard at TV Tropes' "what about the men" rhetoric.

I feel like I lost braincells reading this.

Anonymous asked:

I feel like in fiction written by men there are only three flaws that female protagonists are allowed to have: clumsy, boy-crazy, or ashamed of their flat chests. I hate it.

Don’t forget, “having to listen to the men for how they’re supposed to feel.”

Anonymous asked:

Jatp. Nominated. For. Seven. Emmys. SEVEN!!!! Miraculous could NEVER. Literally.

omg!! Congrats to Julie and the Phantoms!

Anonymous asked:

WHAT ARE YOUR FLASHBACKS TO EVER AFTER HIGH?? I GOTTA KNOW? OMG?

Oh, I’ve seen basically the whole series, though the one I remember most is definitely Epic Winter. It was my favorite one though Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie so I’m biased.

I also like a lot of the “twists” and just--crazy concepts they rolled with, like with Red Riding Hood’s story and how Apple White gets woken up from her slumber.

Anonymous asked:

You're gonna be happy to hear this...I just started watching Cardcaptor Sakura today, and holy shit not only do I love it, but I also love how freaking META it is! I know you said you're not all that knowledgeable about Magical Girl, but this show is AWARE that it's a Magical Girl show! From Tomoyo(the main reason this show is so meta, tbh) realizing Sakura is a Magical Girl and asking if she has a transformation pose, to designing outfits for her(more on that later) to videotaping her(aka literally making a Magical Girl anime out of her Magical Girl friend), it just has fun with itself and plays with Magical Girl tropes without making a mockery of them like all those "dark" male-aimed ones do(lookin' at you, Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna!).

And not only is it hilarious and adorable(especially with Sakura's crush on Yukito, Tomoyo's crush on Sakura, and Touya picking on Sakura, but playfully), but I love how it's riddled with girl power. While watching some of the first episodes I was looking forward to seeing Syaoran(partly because I love male Tsunderes and partly because I can't pronounce his name), and was surprised that he wasn't in the first few episodes, but more importantly I was so happy to see a show that treats its female characters with respect and shows women unironically receiving support from other women and being shown possessing power and authority.

I love Sakura and Tomoyo's friendship even if I hate the trope of "Lesbian Never Gets The Girl"(not that I think she's entitled to Sakura's affections or anything, but still.) and watching her support Sakura in her magic endeavors without being jealous or vindictive, I love that they're allowed to be independent and smart but that the show doesn't forget that they're kids, instead of making them like Manon and Chris, and I love that the show passes the Bechdel test in pretty much the first or second episode, and that pretty much every important and unimportant character we meet that's not Sakura's family members, Kero, or Yukito(plus maaaayyybe the Shadow Clow Card) are female.

Even little things, like all FOUR of Tomoyo's bodyguards in the second episode being female without there being a "reason" or the show making a big deal of it(either in a "yay girl power!" way or a "what but women can't x" way or an objectifying way) fills me with insurmountable joy. Also, I love that the show follows the Magical Girl trend of pretty much admitting that femininity is power, since frilly dresses are stated to be the most "fitting" thing for a Cardcaptor to wear, as without it, they might not be mentally up to the task, and this is an unironic truth rather than a joke(although Sakura is shown to be embarrassed, but it's much more likely that she's simply not used to that kind of gear due to not being rich as Tomoyo is.) or a gag.

I just thought I should tell you this because I know you like Cardcaptor Sakura, and with the crappy episodes that just came out of this show, I think you deserve to read an ask that's about a GENUINE girl power Magical Girl show, instead of yet more Miraculous Ladybug salt or Madoka Magica hate(not that there's anything wrong with either of those two, but it just gets grating after a while.). Overall, I'm looking forward to watching this show, since I've been looking for a Magical Girl show to watch nowadays(I've been meaning to watch Star Twinkle Precure but I can't find the third episode and all of Cardcaptor Sakura is on YouTube now, so.). So excited!

Hey, I’m glad that you’re having fun with it!

Though, just a warning, you might wanna steer clear of the Clear Card arc. It’s a sequel to the original series made waaaay after the original (think the equivalent of Yashahime for Inuyasha, though continuing with the original characters) but omg I hated it.

Anonymous asked:

With the crappy Season 4 episodes that just came out I'm glad I got into Cardcaptor Sakura when I did. Who needs "Marinette needs to make a mistake every episode and learn something from it" when you can have genuine girl power and sweetness incarnate?

Alya could never compete with Tomoyo, I’m just sayin’.

Anonymous asked:

Your comment about white men feeling "disenfranchised" because more shows are about black people and/or women(I say and/or because the two aren't mutually exclusive.), as if there aren't a million other things they could be watching instead is so true! It reminds me of how I was talking to someone recently about the new generation of MLP, in which I stated that we didn't need a male mane pony(spoiler alert: they have one, sadly.), and he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly".

Okay, so far, so good, but this I could chalk up to just unconscious internalized misogyny, especially since he didn't say it in any sort of "way". So I respectfully told him that the scale regarding representation is already not equal and that boys can look up to girls and that a show being girly is not a bad thing and all that stuff that you already know about. Then he responded claiming some stuff about how he keeps trying to pitch stories about straight white male characters and how nobody is accepting his offers and so this means that straight white men are underrepresented compared to everyone else. He even explicitly said, and I quote "White people are actually critically underrepresented in media right now. Especially boys."; I swear to the Goddess above.

At this point I was officially upset as a black girl, to hear this white(and presumably adult) man telling me that he was underrepresented in media compared to me, even saying that the media execs are practicing "quotas and tokenization"(and yes, he repeatedly used those terms for any instance of representation, even when I asked him politely to stop.) by replacing women with men or white people with pocs and are making white men look like incompetent doofuses.

He also kept saying stuff about how shows are always shoehorning people of color in where they don't belong by casting them in settings such as Shakespeare and medieval times when "realistically" there were no people of color during those time periods(which is obviously not true, it's just not what the history books show us.), and made a really insensitive comment about how black children in the USA today don't know the significance of having the first black president because the media supposedly already shows them black people in various professions(despite also claiming he couldn't speak to the "black experience" and yet here he is whitesplaining that shit.).

It got to the point where he was seriously and unironically using the word "blackwashing". When I pointed out to him that white men aren't underrepresented and that it's just his self-centered ego telling him that they are, that the word "blackwashing" isn't a thing, and that mis/underrepresentation in media DOES affect black kids negatively(even citing myself as an example) he went on to claim that I was being tone-deaf and that "blackwashing" is just as bad as whitewashing, and that making Ariel black is just as bad as making Jasmine white.

At this point I had to bang my head on the table and explain to him the difference; his ass still wouldn't get it. Eventually he started saying some really skeevy and hypocritical shite that white men say all the time when whining about how "oppressed and underrepresented" they are: that black people and/or women

(it looks like there might be an ask missing here, in which case, sorry if Tubmlr ate it!)

avor of supporting the commonly believed LIE that "women and/or minority groups don't have as much history worth learning about, so there's no point in focusing on them." He also kept using patronizing, condescending, mansplaining language such as "let me explain it to you" or "you still don't get it do you?", and when he said women had nothing to contribute to society because "oppression" he even had the nerve to tack on "welcome to the unequal society" as if I hadn't been lecturing him about just that.

Because obviously only white men did anything worthwhile or important in history. At this point, I had to block him. I couldn't take it anymore and this was on an MLP site of all places(although I'm probably just as guilty of that part, but at least I wasn't an ass!). I just can't stand white men who "want to be oppressed so bad" but still want to claim that their achievements are more important and deserve to be more prominent. Honestly, so many white men are so fragile the second they're not in the spotlight. I can't help but think that despite all the privilege afforded to their class being a white man sounds like the worst thing ever.

“he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly". “

I might be looking too deep into that but I don’t like the idea of, “Well WE squeezed in a girl and therefore YOUR SHOWS--” like it’s some sort of matter of “fairness” or that boys’ shows aren’t putting in girls out of a genuine like for them but because they “need” one or it’s some sort of obligation.

Also, we need to stop this idea that boys can’t look up to female characters and vice versa for girls. You already said it but yeah.

And yeah, I hear "quotas and tokenization" and I officially tune out of whatever the person is saying, lol. White men are critically underrepresented???? Newsflash, maybe it’s just because others are being represented more??

Just the whole thing about whites being “underrepresented” boggles my mind. White people don’t have some sort of special ability or skill that other races can’t do themselves unless you count the “superpower” of white privilege.

Like, oh my god, all that “whitesplaining” and having to read the word “blackwashing” was physically painful. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I don’t know how they got hold of the technology to communicate with you from whatever time period their from, presumably the Stone Age.

Don’t even blame you for blocking them. There’s just a level of absolute... blindness? Arrogance??? That comes with the territory with them sometimes, I swear. You had every right to be upset; other races come to ask for equality and fair representation and suddenly you have these white men (not all obviously but damn) coming by and crying that they’re being oPpReSsEd. U_U

Like, honestly, my father in particular is absolutely that kind of person so I’ve heard that kind of stuff before. it’s all gross.

On a slightly unrelated note (trying to end this with some positivity), I hadn’t even heard about a fifth generation of MLP until I read this, and just wanted to let you know that I really hope you have a really good time with it! Hopefully the male character isn’t... well, you know.

[boydiisaster]

I've been getting back into FE3H this past week and the blue lions have been living in my head rent free sdfkgjfj

As a fellow ace may I request some hcs of gn!reader coming out as ace to the blue lions boys? If you don't want to do all of them then just Ashe and Sylvain pls owo

The Blue Lion boys reacting to the reader coming out as ace

reader: gender neutral

fandom: fe3h

author's note: ah, i love writing these coming out things! they make me so happy. especially when they're mlm and/or ace :3

Dimitri

You nervously came out to him one day, fiddling with the cuffs of your academy uniform. You and Dimitri had been friends for a while, he should accept you... right?

Dimitri just blinked at you.

Poor Dimitri, there isn't a single braincell behind those eyes.

Please explain. He promises he won't hate you for it!

You tell him what asexual means, and Dimitri simply smiles. "That's wonderful, Y/N! I'm so glad you trust me enough to tell me."

If you two ever start dating, your relationship will consist of happy cuddles and lots and lots of kisses.

Dimitri is perfectly okay with not having a sexual relationship with you.

Dedue

Unlike his prince, Dedue understands as soon as you come out.

He's friends with Annette. He knows what asexual means.

He's very accepting. Smiles and offers you another scone.

You told him over tea time.

"Thank you for entrusting me with this, Y/N. It must have been very nerve racking for you."

You beam at him, accepting the scone. "Thank you, Dedue."

Dedue will be content in your relationship if the two of you ever begin dating. He loves holding your hands and having you around to give him encouraging kisses when he's stressed.

Please give Dedue love, he deserves love-

Ashe

You're asexual? He is, too!

You told him after a battle, hair wild and eyes tired. You were sore, covered in monster blood, and you just let it slip.

Ashe just smiled at you as you looked scared.

"Don't worry, Y/N. I am, as well."

He just doesn't see the appeal of sex. He thinks it's more romantic to just send your lover ripped, tea soaked papers with words conveying his love for them.

I do too, Ashe, don't worry.

Writing poems, baking cakes, cooking for your lover? All very romantic and sweet. So why do you need sex?

Cuddles are also very cool.

If Ashe ever becomes your boyfriend? Prepare for him to do all of the things I just listed. He'll wake you up for breakfast: fluffy pancakes coated with maple syrup, blueberries topping them, fresh milk, and anything else you want along side it. Gentle kisses against your temple, cheeks, and lips. Warm hugs, soft cuddles, and innocent touches against your back and arms.

He'll read you stories as the two of you cuddle, your head against his chest as his arms are wrapped around you, holding you close as he tells of exciting tales.

Gods, is a relationship like this too much of me to ask for-

Felix

Honestly, Felix also gives me ace vibes, if not mlm ones, so just like Ashe, he's asexual. Only not as romantic.

He's just never wanted that stuff, he guesses.

He's always been too busy. That, and what's the appeal? Pleasure? He gets that from besting someone in a sword match. Why do you need sex?

You came out to him by accident, yet again. The two of you were hanging out with Sylvain when he asked you if you thought Hilda was hot or not.

"She's pretty," you replied, keeping it simple. "I like her hair."

"Would you sleep with her?"

You blinked. "I'm asexual, Sylvain."

"I am, too," Felix grumbles.

Felix and you bond over your mutual lack of sexual attraction. Also, if you like swords and fighting, that's a plus, too.

If you start dating, Felix is sweet. A lot nicer than he is to his friends, but still just as mean sometimes.

"Felix, would you still like me if I was a worm?"

"No. Shut up."

He shows his love in weird ways. Buying you weapons he thinks you'd like, pointing out things that remind him of you to you. Sometimes he'll flick your forehead or punch your arm lightly. He'll bite you to get your attention in private. His love language is touch, but not gentle touches. More like sweeping your legs out from under you and then gazing down at you as you lay in the dirt.

Felix loves teasing you, partner or not. So be prepared for him to constantly make fun of you.

When he calls you a fucking idiot with no brain or common sense, he means it lovingly, I promise.

Sylvain

Another one that gives off major ace/mlm but closeted vibes. Like I know in canon he says that the only reason he's a playboy is because of his crest and how society sees him, but just??? Let me have my fun, okay??? :(

Anyways, he's surprisingly understanding when you come out to him. He'll give you a smile and pinch your cheek.

"Well one of us has to be the whore, so I guess it's up to me."

"Sylvain, wait, no-"

If you ever start dating, Sylvain will be extremely happy. All anyone ever saw in him was a crest: someone to give them a thrill, babies, sex. But you? You didn't want sex. You didn't see a crest, didn't see the wealth that he had, the fame you'd aquire by being his spouse. You simply saw Sylvain himself for who he is.

Sylvain will love you for eternity because of that.

His love language is gift giving and nobody will tell me otherwise. Dating or not, this man will spoil you. Oh, you want that new book? Sylvain's got you. Clothes, weapons, anything you need, Sylvain will buy you. Just ask him, he'll get it for you.

Probably the most physically affectionate towards you out of all the Blue Lion boys, right beside Ashe and Dimitri. If he gets too touchy though, just tell him and he'll stop. He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable :(

[phantom-curve]

For your prompts: 5. trepverter for Willex, please?

this one kind of got away from me, but hopefully it still mostly captures the essence of the prompt! and if not, it's at least a cute little fluffy Willex moment that I thoroughly enjoyed writing. set in an AU where the boys are alive, here is some flustered Alex ft. supportive Reggie and Luke.

trepverter - a witty response or comeback you think of only after it's too late to use (Rated T for swearing with a Trigger Warning for mentions of homophobic parents)

They say hindsight is 20/20 but Alex never really paid much attention to that until the day he found himself knocked flat on his back, elbows scratched and head pounding as if he had been hit by a freight train instead of an irresponsible skateboarder. It probably didn’t help that he had been in the middle of trying to calm himself down, all the signs of an impending anxiety attack mounting within his system until he had finally just put his feet to the pavement and started walking to get some of the overwhelming energy worked out of his system. He probably could have been more attentive, more aware of exactly where he was going and who was headed his direction, but he figured it would be fine on a random Wednesday morning in October when the tourists weren’t really around and most kids his age were in school.

Alex wasn’t in school because his parents had withdrawn tuition payments after he had finally worked up the courage to tell them he wouldn’t be bringing a nice girl home because he didn’t want to date any girls, in fact he would much prefer to date some boys, but the pressure of keeping his identity a secret hadn’t made that possible either so he was done hiding and he hoped they could accept that. Turns out they couldn’t accept that, or him, once he made it obvious he wasn’t going to go back in the closet or give any girl the chance to “change his mind”. As if that was even possible.

It hadn’t been a big blowout, more of a silent retreat, his parents completely withdrawing any and all support from his life over the course of the last few months. And apparently that included tuition, as Alex had discovered that morning when the school called to inform him they had finished completing his withdrawal forms, and they would be sad to see him go. Which had led him to the boardwalk, and then directly into the path of whatever hooligan that had crashed into him. Maybe if he had just been able to keep his mouth shut for 3 more years he wouldn’t be lying here, breathless and bruised, and still on the cusp of absolutely losing it.

Hindsight, Alex thought to himself as he stared up at the clear blue LA sky, can absolutely kiss my ass.

“Awh, man!” A voice above him whined. “You dinged my board!”

Alex toppled off of the anxiety ledge and straight into an ocean of lost control.

“Dinged your board? Dinged your board!? Dude, you ran me over!”

He punctuated his statement by leaping to his feet, which would have probably been a lot more threatening if he didn’t immediately stagger, hand held to his head as the world spun and his stomach rolled.

“Oh shit.”

The voice cursed quietly, and then Alex felt warm hands against his biceps, steadying him until everything slowly came back into focus. There was a boy standing in front of him, black cracked helmet perched on his head, soft brown eyes staring at him with a tinge of concern and remorse. When it was clear Alex was steady once more, he released his grip and offered an easy-going smile.

“You’re right, man, I totally pancaked you. My bad, are you okay?”

There was a weird feeling in Alex’s gut. Not the kind of sickening wave of nausea he had experienced when he first stood, but more of a fluttery feeling. His brain had quieted somewhat, and he forced himself to take a deep breath.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just look where you’re going next time.”

His voice came out soft and almost breathy, not at all the warning tone he had meant to use, and Alex could feel his cheeks warming slightly in embarrassment. The other boy’s smile grew. He reached up and unclipped his helmet, lifting it off and then tossing his head back as a cascade of long brown hair tumbled out. A few stray pieces fell to rest alongside his face and Alex felt his mouth fall open slightly. His stomach swooped and then dropped completely, like he had just plummeted from a rollercoaster and his mind went blissfully blank. Everything narrowed down to the absolutely beautiful boy standing in front of him, face awash in golden morning light, cheeks flushed from his exertions, dimples and white teeth on full display as he grinned yet again. Alex wasn’t sure he had ever met someone so blindingly attractive in his entire life, and then the boy winked, winked!, and lifted a hand out towards him.

“I’m Willie.”

It was the best name Alex had ever heard of. When their palms met, a spark shot up his arm and straight to his heart.

“Alex.”

Thank God he remembered how to talk, because he truly hadn’t known what to expect when he opened his mouth. Willie released his grip and Alex left his hand suspended for just a second before he pulled it back and shoved it into the pocket of his jean jacket.

“Nice to meet you, Alex. Listen, I really am sorry about knocking you over. Any chance I can make it up to you?”

It took Alex an uncomfortably long amount of time to process what Willie was asking. Long enough for him to panic and wonder if it was like a date or if it was like a pity thing or oh God what if Willie wasn’t even into guys and Alex was about to make this whole thing super weird and –

A chirping sound came from Willie’s pocket. His eyes flitted away from Alex’s to pull a phone out and check the screen. Alex felt a strange twist in his heart as he watched Willie’s easy smile fall only to be replaced by an annoyed grimace and eyeroll as he silenced the phone. Without skipping a beat, he thrust it back into his pocket and pulled out a sharpie instead. Alex barely had time to register how much he liked the way Willie’s hand felt on his forearm before the other boy was suddenly bent over it and there was a cool sensation sending goosebumps up his arm as the tip of the marker scratched across his skin. When Willie pulled back, that brilliant smile was back in place and his eyebrows were dancing so merrily Alex wanted nothing more than to watch them forever.

“I gotta go, but that’s my number. Text me sometime.”

And then, before Alex could work up the nerve to say anything, Willie was tossing his skateboard to the ground only to chase after it with a few bouncy steps before jumping onto the deck and quickly making his way down the boardwalk, away from Alex. He watched for longer than it was probably acceptable until Willie was nothing more than a speck in the distance. Only then did he look down to see the numbers sketched onto his forearm in orange ink.

(213) 555-3276 Willie<3

It was the heart that did him in. That heart had to mean something, right? It was intentional. Willie had written his name with a heart. Alex wasn’t making that up, it was inked onto his own arm! He studied it as he sat on the beach, mind silently replaying every single second of his short interaction with Willie over and over again while different groups of people came and went around him. There had to be a reason for the heart. Alex fiddled with the braided rainbow bracelet on his wrist, the motion familiar and soothing. Had Willie noticed it when he grabbed Alex’s arm to write his number on? Was the heart some kind of sign?

Alex let out a groan and fell back against the sand, the texture scratchy against the back of his head where a slight throbbing still persisted. Another silent reminder of his morning encounter. He wished he had thought to say something when Willie had asked him about making it up to him. Wished he hadn’t panicked or let his stupid brain go into overdrive worrying about what might happen for so long that nothing ended up happening. If he could go back, he would have told Willie, yeah, he could make it up to him. Maybe take him out to coffee or dinner and a movie or ya know, just any kind of date in general? But Alex wasn’t that smooth, and he wasn’t quite that confident yet. And now all he had was a number in orange ink and a name with a heart and absolutely no answers to the millions of questions crowding his brain.

He let out a deep sigh and sat up again, before finally climbing to his feet. It wouldn’t do to sit and worry, even if that was kind of his specialty. Luke had a girlfriend now. And Julie was incredible, and Luke was a disaster, so obviously the guy had to have some kind of game. Alex couldn’t quite believe it, but maybe he could give him an idea of what to do in this situation. Alex turned his feet towards the apartment the boys had been sharing since Luke turned 18 and left his parents’ house for good and started the long walk back to their shared home.

Luckily, both Luke and Reggie were home, which meant Alex had two sounding boards for his word vomit as he paced in front of where they were sat on the couch. Reggie was kind of like a puppy in the sense that all he had to do was exist and people flocked to him, so he also had more experience than Alex did when it came to figuring out someone’s true intentions after a first meeting. By the time he had finished giving the boys the run down, he was feeling like they might be able to put their collective braincell to use and figure out exactly what the best course of action would be here.

“Yeah, man, I got nothing.”

Alex groaned and Luke held up his hands defensively.

“Look, dude, just cause I’m dating Julie doesn’t mean I know how I pulled it off! I’m just hoping my luck holds out until I can convince her to marry me, okay?”

Reggie was nodding thoughtfully, so Alex held out hope that maybe he would have some words of wisdom.

“I mean, he sounds like he wanted to at least like...talk to you some more, right? Otherwise, he wouldn’t have given you his number. And the heart is promising!”

Alex let it soak in for a second. An idea struck him out of nowhere.

“What if I just text him and tell him he can make it up to me by going on a date?”

“Bold moves, dude. I like it”

Of course, Luke liked it. It was a very Luke-inspired move. But Alex didn’t quite have the same guts as Luke. He didn’t think he could really pull it off.

“Ugh, no. My anxiety would skyrocket the second I sent the text. I just wanna know what the heart means!”

“Why don’t you ask him that then?”

Alex didn’t like how Reggie was the voice of reason here. That was supposed to be his job.

“Because if I ask him that he’ll know I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“You have been thinking about it all day.”

Alex finally reached his physical limit and stopped his pacing to fling his body onto the couch between Luke and Reggie, both boys catching different limbs and silently shifting to accompany his sudden presence.

“I don’t want him to know I’ve been thinking about it all day! That’s pathetic. Ugh, why didn’t I just say something in the moment!”

Reggie’s fingers were gentle against Alex’s scalp as he carded a hand through his hair reassuringly.

“It’s okay, Lex. You’ll think of something to say when the time is right. Release your worries to the wind and all that other junk, ya know? Just breathe.”

So, Alex breathed and tried to surrender his obsession into the ether. Reggie had been on a bit of a self-help kick lately, but honestly, it did help Alex more often than not, so he resolved to try and follow his best friend’s advice, even as his anxiety raged against the idea.

Turns out, the right time was exactly 11:43 pm when Alex suddenly awoke from a dead sleep where his dreams had been invaded by none other than Willie himself. He looked down at the number, the hastily scribbled name, and the accompanying heart bright against his pale skin even in the darkness of night and typed the message into his phone before he could think twice about it.

To: Willie<3 Considering you pancaked me, I think it’s only fair you make it up to me with a pancake breakfast. 9 am at Sandy’s Diner?

The responding message was almost instantaneous.

You’ve got yourself a date. Catch ya in the morning, pancake ;)

And for the second time that day, Willie wiped Alex’s mind completely blank, the word date playing on repeat until he fell asleep with his lips still curved into a smile, visions of a certain long-haired pretty boy dancing through his head.

[restingdomface]

Lan Wangji makes extremely deadpan videos of his daily life with Wei Wuxian and their kids and nephews (and nieces if JC and JYL had more). This would include:

*shows a video of LWJ staring out the window for a solid thirty seconds, face entirely unchanged and somewhat disappointed, turns camera around to show Wei Wuxian and the kiddos putting mentos in soda bottles and trying to chuck them at each other, camera pans back to his face, still entirely devoid of emotion*

That one time Jin Ling got stuck up a tree and Wei Wuxian tried to get him down and also got stuck up there and now the other kids are looking for a ladder while LWJ just watches them from the patio, drinking tea. The kids finally give up and shamefully come to LWJ and ask him for help, he gets his husband and nephew down without a word.

The one where he buried 5yo A-Yuan in a pile of bunnies and got scolded by Lan Xichen for it because they might bite him if they get annoyed with him.

There is an entire compilation of rabbits that won’t leave him alone. Climb into his lap. Follow him with every step. Get excited when he comes outside. Hear a guqin and start looking for him. Just. He’s the rabbit whisperer. One of the black ones is just about always with him.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian interacting in any capacity is going to involve a lot of hitting each other and pushing each other over. Only-child kids think they hate each other, but people with siblings are all ‘no no, siblings are just Like That’. People think Yanli is all innocent till they realize she def only tells them to stop when she thinks they might actually get on each other’s nerves. She’s in the ‘boys will rough house and probably only have one collective braincell’ category.

People won’t stop asking him if he speaks so he vaguely makes mentions of having extremely low verbility. They ask if he does sign and he’s not really sure how (lol cause words hard) to explain to them that sign doesn’t really help when the issue is more of him not having much to say tbh. This is apparently the wrong thing to say because then people start being all ‘yeah I get you, I’m pretty dumb too, at least you’re pretty’ and he’s just sorta sitting there with this smacked fish look on his face while WWX can’t stop laughing next to him at the very idea of someone calling his husband slow. Wow. LWJ just sorta finally gets out that he has like two degrees and teaches giqun lessons and it’s amazing. The kids find out about it and can’t stop laughing for hours.

“Hey, why did you name your son ‘sorrow and longing’?” *commense 10 minute video of that time Wei Wuxian got arrested for something to do with a satanic ritual and that’s when LWJ ended up with custody of his adopted son for the next three years and he was in a really angsty mood tbh so it just kinda happened* not a single commenter expected that, even less so when he mentions that they weren’t even together at that point

Films what the viewers think is a prank at first, where he pours a dangerous amount of chili powder into a mug of hot chocolate (with a completely straight face) and then brings it to WWX who takes a drink and makes a dreamy little sigh and goes ‘you always know how to make it just like I want it’ and no one is sure how to react to this video. It’s like watching someone peel and eat a lemon.

You know that video of the girl with the deadpan voice saying she went downstairs to take a shower and there was something brown in the bottom of the tub but it turned out to be potatoes and she’s all ‘not a problem I was expecting, but a problem I can handle’? Okay so that’s how he talks in every video. WWX hands him a baby and he talks to them exactly like that. People ask if he’s good with kids and WWX is all ‘yeah, he’s not just a rabbit whisperer, he’s a baby whisperer too, he’s super great with kids’ *shows LWJ talking to a baby in That Voice while the baby looks at him in utter adoration*

“What’s it like growing up gay? Do you ever get shit for it?” LWJ.exe has stopped working, he has only met one straight couple the same age as him and they’re his sister in law. His brother has three boyfriends, one of which is his brother-in-law. He doesn’t know what a het-er-o-sexual is and he doesn’t want to. Pretty sure his uncle is acearo and hasn’t seen his parents in like 20 years.

LWJ: ‘I apologize for being so emotional in my last video.’ *viewers scrambled to find what video he meant because they ain’t ever seen that man emotional before but end up finding a video where Sizhui told him he loved him and called him papa and gave him a hug while WWX filmed, you can barely see LWJ’s left eye twitching and he pets Sizhui’s head for a moment* viewers are very confused on how this constitutes emotionalism.

Viewers ask to see his brother ‘you know, the one who apparently has three boyfriends’ and LWJ posts a video of LXC passed out on a couch with like three fully grown men all in various states of sliding off onto the floor while the teens play a game of ‘who can stack the most random objects on uncle’s bodies without them waking’ because apparently LWJ and WWX were gone for a weekend and the uncles were supposed to watch the kids (like, all ten of them probably, there’s probably a lot of kids) and it’s Sizhui filming the whole thing cause he’s the ‘good one’ and never does bad things. But he’s also like Auntie Yanli and is totally gonna egg them on from the sidelines.

WWX hands LWJ literally any food and LWJ will eat it all with a completely straight face but as soon as WWX is turned around LWJ is chugging a glass of milk with a look of death on his face. The kiddos straight up can’t stomach his cooking.

😭 someone asks why their hair is all so long and LWJ puts up a video of chatty adorable Sizhui braiding WWX’s hair while he tells him about his day at school. It’s. Too. Cute.

The never ending debate on if LWJ’s deadpan personality/speech is acting or not. No matter how much everyone assures them he’s really just Like That people just aren’t convinced.

Someone points out several times that in their house they have a room with a satanic symbol on the door. That’s just WWX’s home office it’s all good. This is treated as ‘lol WWX is so dramatic’ for like four whole weeks before LWJ posts a video of Sizhui standing outside the office looking nervous. ‘What’s wrong?’ He says. ‘Dad called me into his office.’ Sizhui replies. ‘WWX must be a very strict father,’ the viewers think. That’s not it. That’s not it at all tbh. That video got flagged on like four different platforms and kept getting removed for graphic images and half their viewers don’t. Want. To know. What happened. In that office. (WWX doesn’t even see what the big deal was, that goat was dead when he bought it shut up.)

The others do videos sometimes too lol. Videos include

Jin Ling’s compilation of ‘Mom, what’s for dinner’ and the answer is Always Lotus root and pork rib soup. Someone asks ‘lol she must make that often’ and JL is all ‘lol often, fairly sure she got same-food syndrome, it’s always soup’.

Lan Sizhui at like 17 years old: The one true secret I’ve never told my dads? My most shameful lie? Rabbits aren’t my favorite. My favorite is butterflies. *proceeds to cuddle a bun* I’m sorry Mister Bun, but you just aren’t nearly as pretty as butterflies.

Shaky video of someone sitting on the couch, pointed at NMJ: Brother, while you’re away on vacation with your boyfriends, I don’t plan on leaving this spot for even a minute. NMJ: Oh yeah? What’ll you do when you have to use the bathroom? NHS: Listen, I found a guy on Craig’s List who’s exact fetish is lazy young men who refuse to move and also diapers exist and he’ll be my slave for the week if I let him change me. NMJ: ...I’m taking you with me on vacation. NHS: Yay! NMJ: I’m also taking your phone away. NHS: -wait, no- NMJ: Too late.

Jin Ling: JiuJiu, I spilt soda on your Valentino white belt. Jiang Cheng: *incomprehensible sputtering* -soda on my Valentino white belt-!

Sizhui: *brings Jingyi a bowl of food* Here. Jingyi: Thank you! *takes a bite, face falls in terror, gives Sizhui a betrayed look* Sizhui: Dad’s worried I’m getting sick, he said this would clear my chest cold up. He didn’t consider what horrible things it would do to my bowels instead. Please eat it, he gets sad when I don’t finish what he makes. Jingyi: *glaring* Just dump it down the garbage disposal! Sizhui: *def has a fever if he didn’t think of that* Oh. Good idea.

LWJ: *swaying in place* WWX: This bitch drunk as hell. LWJ: I’m. Gonna comit. A crime. WWX: *crying a little* I love drunk hubby times. A full shot of vodka and he’s not gonna remember any of this. Hey kids, I’m taking Papa on a walk! Sizhui’s in charge!

Zizhen: *sitting quietly on the couch while LSZ, LJY and JL all argue behind him somewhere, covering his mouth with a slightly horrified look* Jingyi: I mean, that’s not fair at all! Who HASNT made out with their cousin at one point or another? Ling: ... Sizhui: You said you’d never bring that up again please shut up. Ling: ...!!!!!! Zizhen: Amazing.

That one time the kiddos hypnotized Jin Ling into thinking he was a kitten. The adults all thought it was really weird that he was finally going through the whole ‘pretending to be an animal’ phase at like ten, but then the kiddos fessed up to learning how to hypnotize and they aren’t sure how to fix it. WWX instigated a rule that no brainwashing is allowed outside his office from now on.

People ask how WWX and LWJ met and it’s told from the POV of Lan Qiren who progressively getting drunker as he tells the story of the terrible high school romance that he had to watch between bad boy WWX and his precious baby angel nephew that made him consider quitting and how no one believed them when they insisted they didn’t get together till after WWX got out of jail for the cow incident.

[rametarin]

Getting into the weeds of an annoying conversation I’ve had.

Casually speaking to people that believe, very strongly, very hopefully, in life-after-meat bodies. And I don’t mean dietary, I mean, “escaping death by going cyborg.”

A lot of people wish to move their, “sentience,” out of their biological bodies and into a machine, because they do not want to die. Just, whatever it is that comprises their life, their existence, their essence, their metaphoric “soul,” they want to move it out of a vulnerable, mortal meat puppet and into an immortal machine. So as to avoid non-existence, entropy and death, if only long enough to witness the heat death of the universe.

And they get REALLY mad or huffy when you poke holes in their preferred method of immortality.

So they bring up the Ship of Theseus. “If you replace all the parts of a ship, is it even still the same ship anymore? :)” And argue that even you aren’t the you of 7-10 years ago. Owing to your sort tissue constantly replacing and replenishing itself, removing old cells, replacing them piecemeal.

So, they argue, based on that, slowly replacing a human brain little by little with cybernetics, or grey goo filler, should (to their logic) mean it’s possible to continue to exist, just slowly transfer from from a meat based consciousness and existence into a mechanical one.

And again, I argue, that’s not incorporating YOU into a robotic shell. That’s supplementing an existing body with an artificial one that is subserviant to your meat body, you. One that just is convinced, more and more, that it is you.

It would be you the same way that an alien devouring your brain from the inside and slowly replacing your brain with itself becomes, “you.” You can smugly smile and go, “well it has all my memories. It has my fingerprints. It lives in my body. It thinks and says it’s me. Therefore, it must be me.”

Except, no. YOU would be dead and your life and sapience, your existence, hollowed out and replaced by another just inheriting your body. An artificial life that is not part of the original biological blueprints of you.

Arguing that that’s somehow “transferring” your consciousness simply because our soft tissue regenerates and replaces itself, therefore, “we died within 8 years after we were born” is dishonest. As a biological organism, we exist as sovereign independent beings that are designed to do that, by natural selection. Our mortal bodies were designed to replenish and replace and maintain that through the generations of cell generation, death and replacement. So even if we do technically lose consciousness and whom we are die inside to be replaced with more of us, it’s still us. Objectively.

When you add artificial elements to that, like switching out dead braincells and brain wiring until the artificial and the natural are meshed up and virtually inoperable from one another, you aren’t making yourself into a robot. You’re just dying and supplementing what you’ve lost on a wetware, hardware and software level with mechanical stuff. You’re incubating a simulacrum in your brain, like athena from the head of Zeus.

Even if you were just a collection of the longest living cells in your body with a robotic brain wrapped around them, after a certain point, you just stop being you. At best you can argue where the line is between ceasing to be you.

I’d argue that you cannot store memory artificially about whom and what you are and take that function away from your biological brain, and still consider yourself you. The brain has many functions, and all of them are components of the real you. To even replace one of those wholesale with cybernetics is to lose some of your humanity. There will never be a time when you can just piecemeal replace your neurons and braincells wholesale with a robot and continue to exist.

That won’t be you anymore. It’ll just be the slow, inevitable march towards a robot that THINKS it’s you. It’ll be a copy born from a glacial suicide. You may as well have just scanned your brain’s patterns and structure and reproduced it by every nerve ending, memory and some sort of perfect sci-fi brain scan into a simulated consciousness in a robot.

The robot won’t be YOU, it’ll be a robot with a simulacrum of you. The same way a painting is not you. The same way your ass print in the snow, is not you. Just a sophisticated shadow of you.

Folks that dream of escaping death by transferring, “consciousness” out of their body and into a robot absolutely despise this line of thinking. They really tend to not want to die. So, they argue to defend it with resorting to misanthropy. “Life is just a series of amino acids and cells!” They tell themselves. “So it doesn’t matter if the thing that thinks it’s me, is actually biological! My biology doesn’t matter on whether I’m me!”

And it’s like. Bruh. Even if you cloned yourself, and to all human relevant metrics that clone could operate as you, it wouldn’t be you. Because you are still a sovereign and independent organism. That clone, not born from your mother, but a vat as a clipping of you allowed and shaped to become like you, does not have the same origin as you. Yes, it absolutely does matter, objectively, that the clone, while it possesses a large amount of your DNA, is still not YOU. You may be arguing that, “well science and other people can’t tell. :^).” That does not change the objective reality that it is not you.

The more they defend this braindead fantasy of going from human body to a robot, the more they betray what they’re willing to believe about what being a human is and is not in order to abandon it. The more they schizophrenically divorce their biology from what and whom they are, as people, as human beings.

And when you get to the point where you ask, “Oh what is sapience and sentience and individualism, anyway?” Then that says to me you don’t care about anything.  You’re just cowardly enough to not want to die. You’re just too stubborn and arrogant and egotistical to admit if you weren’t so convinced you had the intellectual and rational high ground, you’d be exactly like one of those braying sheep singing hymns in your religion of choice, praying that god or the universe itself won’t erase you from existence when you finally succumb to mortality. You damned self-deceiving coward. You self-delusional ninny. Milksop.

And this just absolutely matters, because this revelation of their value of human life, individuality and their own perception of what it means to be human, directly correlates into what they value when it comes to groups of humans relating to one another. Someone like that may speak high and mighty about humanity, compassion, but these are just egotist words and come purely from a place of faux-rational pride that they know the truth.

When the truth is, they pray at the altar of an idealized abstract, and not the reality of what a human is and does and is made of. They value the idea of all these little soulless meat robots working together as a sophisticated collective than they do the life of a single human being, seeing soul only in the net and gross, and not in the individuals or parts comprising it.

They’ll speak at length about “what people SHOULD” or “OUGHT” be doing for other people, while not giving a fuck about an individual. All their concepts of rights and privileges stem from the ideas of plurality, on the basis of being part of that set. Not based on individuals.

And after having had these conversations enough with the sorts of futurists, utopists, transhumanists, I feel confident in saying that if you also feel this way, I probably hate you. Seeing individual people as arbitrary random atoms floating around in space and time but seeing humanity, worth and relatable in groups of them? In the CONCEPT but then devaluing it by saying there’s no “real” individiaulsim that can’t be cloned, or reproduced, and be the exact same as what exists? Somehow you try to insist you see things in the macro and the minutia when you’re completely missing both and focusing on what you project onto them or what you THINK you see based on your own biases. Often based on the HOPE and idealism of what you think SHOULD be real, or what you HOPE humans become.

So the sort of person to pray for robotic physical immortality and “ascending” past the flesh, tends to just.. flow into the sort of person that loves the idea of humanity, but despises any human being that is not on board with their idealized vision of what humanity should be, and will not tolerate people that are not on board with it.

This has become a bit of an acid test for me. Maybe it’s just on the same shitty level as asking a persons horoscope to learn more about them. I don’t know. But if you think a clone of you is equally YOU, if you think a scanned reproduction of you is the equal you to the real thing, just because of the difficulty of proving the objective truth and origins of both to third parties, then you’re probably the same sort of used car salesman type that tries to sell people on “social advancement” while not giving a shit how many people it harms or how much humanity it kills in the name of said, “advancement,” or “evolution.”