#just a few months ago I would have been terrified of writing something only using canon characters dhsjdbdjdjdj
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herearedragons · 4 months ago
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just realized I'm technically writing my first no-OC fic right now
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thebearer · 1 year ago
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would you ever write something about protective baby daddy carmy, maybe it’s only a few weeks until the baby is born so super big belly and coming to family or making her spend all the time at the restaurant so he doesn’t miss the birth
"Make way, wide corner!" Richie bellowed, arms waving back and forth, guiding you through the kitchen like you were an airplane landing.
You glared at him, a snarl in your expression as you waddled around the corner. It was hot and you were so fucking pregnant, due any day now. "Shut the fuck up, Richie." You huffed, flinching at the heat of the kitchen, a wave of nausea coming over you.
"Richie, leave that poor woman alone. What's the matter with you, huh?" Tina snarled, glaring harshly at Richie. "How're you doin', Mama? How's the baby?" Her tone dropped to something sweeter, kinder for you, hand rubbing over your swollen abdomen. Normally, it bothered you when people touched your bump, but Tina was different. It was comforting with her.
"Miserable. Swollen. Hot." You muttered, looking down at your growing belly where baby girl was still jabbing at your ribs.
"I mean this in the nicest way, but... has the baby grew more since last week?" Sydney's eyes were skittish and wide, darting carefully from your stomach back to you.
You snorted lightly, running a hand over the swell of your abdomen. "She dropped a few days ago. Getting ready for launch." You muttered.
"Oh, that-that's, uh, terrifying." Sydney nodded, awkwardly. "Sorry, that's not what you want to hear, but, uh..."
"No, you're right. It is." You laughed, a little uneasy. It was fucking terrifying, all of it- pregnancy, birth, motherhood in general. It was scary.
"It also is so fucking painful because now everything is heavier and my back feels like it might snap." You gave a fake forced smile.
"Oh, poor Mama. That just means she's close. Only a few more days?" Tina beamed. "How much does she weigh?"
"They think eight pounds." You groaned, Sydney's eye bulging expression.
"Ay dios mio..." Tina muttered under her breath. "Well, you'll be so drugged up, honey, you won't even feel it."
"I'm praying for a C-section." You scoffed lightly. "Carmen's already said he's gonna be a wreck either way."
"Yeah, and he will be, won't you, Cousin?" Richie cackled, clapping his cousin on the back as he passed by.
"Be what?" Carmen muttered, too in the game to even see you there. "Chef, have you finished prep?"
"No, Jeff. Talking to your beautiful baby mama." Tina cooed, giving your arm a gentle squeeze.
Carmen's eyes lifted to you, brow furrowed when he looked at the time. "Hey, baby, I lost track of time." He muttered, lips brushing over yours in greeting, hand gliding down your growing stomach.
"We know you did, Cousin." Richie scoffed. "I went and got her."
"You drove with Richie?" Carmen's eyes flashed to you.
"C'mon, Carm. I'm a good fuckin' driver, alright? Quit busting my balls." Richie snorted, rolling his eyes at him.
"He drove safe, Carmy." You reassured, hand rubbing down his forearms sweetly.
Carmen hummed, rolling his eyes gently, but moved you through the kitchen after Sweeps almost hit you with a pan rounding the corner. "Here, come in my office."
"Is it cooler in there?" You moaned, lip jutting in a pout. "I'm about to stand in the freezer, Carmy, it's so fuckin' hot in here."
"I know." Carmen had learned, knew better now, than to do anything but agree with you. He'd been on the receiving end of your wild hormones too many times, your lashing tongue or worse- the fucking tears.
"I put the fan in here, and I have that neck thing in my little fridge, ok? You should be laying down anyways. Not supposed to be up." Carmen frowned lightly , pushing the door open to his office.
The couch was now used as your temporary napping place throughout the day. Carmen had put the bear in overbearing- a joke you told him that he did not find that humorous- when you became pregnant, and it only got more and more severe as months went on. When you got into your third trimester, put on bed rest the last few weeks, Carmen had taken it beyond serious. Insisting that you come stay with him at the restaurant. He was terrified at the thought of something happening or you going into labor when he wasn't around.
You'd agreed, reluctantly, really only because you wanted Carmen close and... because you were in a restaurant. Any type of craving would be satisfied easily for you.
"I think if I lay down, Carmy, I'm not making it back up for family." You yawned gently, rubbing your eyes with the heel of your hand.
Carmen grinned, reaching to turn on the fan besides the couch, pointing it at you so it would blow the cool air over you. "That's alright. I'll bring it here to you." He muttered, pulling the blinds closed for you.
You sat down, propped against the pillows, head lolling to the side to look at him. Carmen sat beside you, hand rubbing over your stomach. "Where's she at today?"
"Same place she was this morning. Right under my ribs." You grin, moving his hand under your left boob, pressing to the side when her fluttered kicks were.
Carmen beamed, eyes brightening as his hand ghosted over the spot there. "Talk to her, Bear." You muttered, eyes fluttering shut. This pregnancy fatigue was no fucking joke. "She likes your voice."
"Yeah?" Carmen grinned, perking at the compliment.
"Yeah." You nodded. "She likes to hear her Daddy's voice. Makes her kick like fucking crazy."
Carmen leaned down, cheek resting on your stomach gently. "Hi, baby. Are you bein' good?" He muttered, your body flushing with adoration at the gentleness of his words. "You ready to come out soon? We're ready for you to. I know your Mommy is."
You snorted, a breathy laugh cut short by a sharp kick to your ribs. "Keep talking." You muttered, moving his hand a little further to wear the kick was. "Bring out the cookbooks again."
"Yeah?" Carmen hummed, eyes crinkling with amusement. "Your Mommy thinks that's funny, but when you come out knowing how to make bruschetta, she's gonna be blown away. Won't she?" Carmen's voice lilted, a tone of baby talk that had you swooning. It was new, something he just recently started doing in the recent weeks. While you were nesting, so was he, in a different way. Getting used to the idea of being a dad, the anxieties he felt traded in for an excitement.
Carmen could feel it, tiny kicks pressing through your tight, stretched skin. His baby, kicking to the sound of his voice. His heart swelled. "See, she agrees with me."
You laughed, running a hand through his hair. "I know she does. Already got you already, hm, Berzatto?"
"Gets it from her, Mama." Carmen jested back, a playful twinkle in his eyes that had your heart soaring out of your chest, tears welling in the corners- damn pregnancy hormones. "Learnin' from you already."
You smiled wordlessly, a watery grin that had Carmen a little on edge until you reached out, pulling his hand to your lips, pressing a kiss into his palm. Carmen's hand cradling your cheek, free hand going back to where the baby had been kicking, soothing it gently while your eyes fluttered shut.
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foreingersgod · 1 month ago
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babes ur writing is so good , can you write something where the reader is going to indiana with caitlin but is nervous that cait will forget about her ???
*i think i interpreted this wrong so i’m so sorry lmao
Champagne Coast . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: request ^
A/N: y’all i’m so sorry for how long this took me!! and i feel like my writing has really deteriorated so please give me feedback and let me know if you like it or totally hate it lmao, thanks for your patience!!
also sorry i had to use YN like ONCE !!
wc: 10.6k
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Finishing eight or nine?
Tell me, what's the perfect time?
your bowl had been placed in the dishwasher long ago, countertop cleaned and leftovers placed in the nearly empty fridge. dinner was growing cold and you hadn’t cared to wait, opting to eat alone yet again before residing in the living room. the tv played in the background with some arbitrary doctors show from the 90s as you sat patiently watching the clock. the hands were beginning to collect dust, you noticed, though it had only been up for a few months upon your move to indiana. each tick seems to mock you the more time dragged on.
she was supposed to be home long ago. practice would have been done at 8 or 9 and it was now approaching 11. this is what it always was, waiting up for her well into the night when the street lamps turned on and the sky grew dark. and you’d wait up like you always did as you were unable to sleep without her. especially in this new home, new bed, new sheets, new life. it never quite bothered you that caitlin would show up late every once and awhile, but it had started to become a habit, and you were left cold and alone. pestering her about being home at a certain time wasn’t fair to her by any means, knowing that she was just going and getting to know her team some more. but recently it felt like you were navigating this milestone in your life by yourself-your girlfriend hardly around to comfort your racing mind.
when caitlin had been drafted, you knew immediately in your heart that it was going to be rough. change was something of a challenge for you and it terrified you more than anything. you recalled sitting at that table, hearing her name announced and the deafening cheers, thinking about how excited you were for her. and even though you were thrilled for her, you couldn’t help but think about how your perfect world was going to slowly crumble. caitlin insisted that things wouldn’t fall apart, just adjust for the future you were going to build together. but now you were here, in this house-not home-trying to convince yourself that all of it was true.
suddenly, you were pulled from your period of musing when the lock of the front door clicked. it was followed by the faint creaking of hinges, old brass from the 70s, your land lord had claimed. you thought she was full of shit. weary eyes traveled to the opening door to see a very tired caitlin walking in. her hair was tousled, post practice shirt just slightly wrinkled, the slightest bags under her eyes that she insisted weren’t there. she was struggling with the move just as much as you, though she’s never admit it.
“hey,” you uttered just enough to be heard over the television. feelings of your isolation had begun to dissipate the moment you saw your girl, relief running through your veins “you’re home”
“yea” she cleared her throat as she let her bag fall to the floor. the squeak of her shoes echoed against the walls when she toed them off, eventually setting them on the rack beside the door. there was an uneasiness laced in her voice you had picked up on. she didn’t seem angry nor irritated, but she was far from her usual self when she was home. she’d typically be thrilled to see you, ready to be in your arms again and let the stress from the day wash off. you were the first thing she’d looked for when she stepped across the threshold. but tonight, her eyes were hesitant to find yours.
“are you alright?” you watched as she shuffled into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, skipping over the leftovers that you had considerately set aside just for her. her favorite meal dished into the nicest tupperware you owned. her slim figure leaned against the cool marble countertop, taking a swig of the water “you seem a bit…off”
“just tired” she glanced at you, locking eyes for what felt like the first time since she’d been home. a weak smile made its way onto her lips as she studied your position on the couch. you couldn’t lie, she did look tired, but part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that had been consuming you for months. the distance that basketball had created made it feel like you and caitlin were living separate lives, when really, this should be something you tackled together. you couldn’t blame her for any of it even if you wanted to, just hoping that things would go back to the way they were.
you wished she were home more, that her presence would provide you some sort of reassurance. maybe just to convince you that you weren’t going insane, liked you were trapped within these walls for a reason other than her career. it had been a while since you felt like you were living a life that didn’t solely revolve around caitlin’s.
“okay” you smiled back bitterly without pressing any further. any energy you had for a conversation like that had left your body hours ago. reaching for the remote and lifting yourself off the couch, you motioned to the stairwell. considering she didn’t even acknowledge the food, you assumed settling down for the night was what you both needed “ready for bed?”
she blinked rapidly, kissing her teeth silently when she noticed the annoyance in your voice. guilt consumed her as she saw the look on your face, the twinge of desire lost from your eyes.
“mhm” she hummed in agreement as she followed you upstairs to the bedroom.
maybe you both just needed some sleep, caitlin thought. neither of you were mad nor cross with each other, but you’d be fools if you didn’t sense the tension in the air. things had been different for quite some time now, all of it too confusing to address, leaving you to wallow in the awkwardness for days now. but if there was any time, any place, where all that was left at the door? it would be here with each other in bed. it was something of a safe haven, nothing else mattered when you left your worries at the door and held each other tightly.
like clockwork, you stripped of your typical daywear down to your lace panties and one of caits t-shirts. it had a worn down high school logo on it, the design fading from the countless times it had been through the wash. she, likewise, pulled her sweaty gym shirt off her body to replace it with one from her closet. you crawled under the covers whilst you took off your earrings, setting them on the small tray on your nightstand-something you picked out at target when you and caitlin went decor shopping for the new apartment. you had barely noticed caitlin also climbing into bed as the memory of that day overtook you. no words were exchanged as you both settled into the sheets, pulling the thick duvet over your shoulders and finally letting your muscles relax. it was only when a pair of burley arms wrapped around your waist, a familiar nose prodding against your collarbone, did the silence break.
“love you” caitlin whispered, breath warm on your skin “m’sorry i was late tonight and that i missed dinner. i’ll make it up to you”
“s’ok cait,” you murmured, sleep tugging at your eyelids. you brought a hand up to her head as you raked your fingers through her hair, she always loved it when you did “i love you too”
it mattered not what she did to make it up to you. she could do anything in the world, buy you countless gifts, take you on a million trips, but it wouldn’t change the one thing your heart desired for.
her.
I told you I'll be waiting
Hiding from the rainfall
trying to navigate to the locker room was a difficult task, having to push past the cheering crowds in a stadium you weren’t familiar with. you were surrounded by a blur of seattle’s green and yellow jerseys as you looked for any sort of path to follow. indiana had just taken quite the loss against the storm and you knew, the second you heard the buzzer sound, that you needed to find caitlin as soon as possible. eventually, you found where you needed to be and beelined for the locker room, hoping she hadn’t already gone looking for you.
the large metal doors stood tall in front of you when you arrived at the locker room entrance. the shift from the excitement out on the stadium floor to this quiet displeasure was staggering and you weren’t even inside yet. whatever you were about to be faced with would break your heart, you could already see it now. you pictured caitlin sitting down, head in her hands as she tapped her foot anxiously and made her best attempt to hold back her tears. she had been struggling with everything recently-the move, the new team, the continuous losses-it was slowly chipping away at her.
however, after pushing the doors open and stepping inside, it was quite the opposite from what you expected. the doors clicked shut behind you, causing the noise to reverberate around the desolate room as you took in the sight before you. and just as you imagined, your heart slowly began to twinge. caitlin sat there on the bench alone, head leaned against her locker as her chest heaved up and down. tears cascaded down her face and her lip quivered the more she sobbed. wispy strands of hair stuck to her forehead from all the sweat and her hands clutched the sides of her head in frustration. you had never seen her in such a state. caitlin was typically reserved, even with you, not wanting to be open and vulnerable. but here you were, seeing her with all of her guards down.
“caitlin” you breathed, immediately rushing over to her. you fell to your knees, body slotting between her thighs. shaky hands came to rest on her legs hesitantly as to not make matters worse “hey, hey what’s going on baby?”
she made a weak attempt at looking at you, tears blurring her vision. a hiccup escaped her chapped lips when she felt your soothing touch on her clammy skin. caitlin couldn’t even manage the words, thoughts lost in her own mind, only tangling more as she continued her cries. she managed to push herself off the locker, letting herself collapse into you as she shook her head. something to signal her unwillingness to talk. her large arms and heavy torso clashed against you as you enveloped her into a hug. warm tears dropped onto your shoulder as she pressed her cheek into your clavicle, creating a damp spot on your indiana fever t-shirt.
“shhh, i know you’re upset,” you rubbed circles onto her back, palm running across the fabric of her jersey “but i need you to talk to me, i can’t make it better if you won’t tell me”
“i just-” she croaked, voice wavering “i feel like…like a failure”
your body went stiff, the movements of your hand stopping momentarily. you hoisted her back up to face her in disbelief. the confession had taken you aback-not that caitlin had been anything but humble, but she knew how amazing she was, of her immense impact on the sport. to hear that word tumble from her lips, masked by a series of desperate whimpers, was enough to break you.
“caitlin,” you dragged on, feeling yourself at a loss for words. everyone thought so highly of your girl and it crushed you to hear her say those words “you are so far from that”
you watched her throat bob as she swallowed harshly. she tugged at the bottom of her jersey, bringing it up to her face to wipe some of the sweat away. in reality it was just an excuse to hide her blood shot eyes. another shake took possession of caitlin’s head to deny your statement.
“yea well my performance begs to differ”
“one bad game isn’t-”
“it’s not just one game” she cut you off before you could even begin to disagree. she had stopped crying by now, intense emotions now overtaken by aggravation “it’s several games. i keep fucking up. missing shots, turning over the ball-shit”
her rambles trailed off in a rampage of huffs and groans, her breath hot as she breathed angrily out of nose. she was always too hard on herself, lost in the heat of the moment and not giving herself any grace for all the hard work she’s put in thus far. it was a topic that began to consume your daily life. caitlin couldn’t seem to shake off the struggles of the day, in turn bringing them home where they became your baggage as well. of course you didn’t mind being there for your girl-hell, you’d do anything for her no matter what-but it was all starting to get exhausting.
you hated that you had these thoughts in the first place, feeling like a bad partner because you couldn’t bare the repetition of these conversations. time after time after time again you’d beat yourself up over it. caitlin deserved the world and more, but you deserved that just as much and these restless nights weren’t providing that. you didn’t even know what to say anymore, torn between how you wanted to proceed.
“there’s a lot on your plate,” you reassured, getting off your knees and taking a seat next to her on the bench. caitlin’s head automatically went to your shoulder as you took one of her hands in yours “you’re just starting out…don’t be so hard yourself. i know it’s rough, but you’re doing what you can and that’s what makes you so amazing. give yourself some grace, babe”
“i know but,” she sniffled, feeling a sense of calmness rush over her as you toyed with her fingers. it kept her distracted, grounded her for the time being “i don’t know, i’ve just been wanting to be the best all the time-for everyone-and i can barley even keep my head straight”
“i think i can speak for everyone when i say you’ve blown us all away” you traced along her lengthy fingers “your fans, your family, me…we’re all so proud of how far you’ve come”
she sighed deeply, you could practically feel the relief dispersing in her veins. in trying times like this, this is exactly what she needed. you were the shoulder to cry on, the answer to all her problems.
“you always know what to say”
she was right, you did. you’d always have the most thoughtful response lined up, no matter the reason or time. partially because it came so naturally to you, having an empathetic heart since forever, but partially from the consistency of these conversations. you couldn’t even count on your fingers the amount of times you’d sit with caitlin on tough nights, rubbing her back and whispering softly in her ear to bring her back to reality.
“well it’s the truth” you chimed “i’m always going to be here for you, cait”
you always are.
she offered you a smile through puffy pink lips, sore from biting them in strain. caitlin found the strength to pull away from you as her hands left yours, only to plant them right back onto your cheeks. her hands felt heavy on your skin when she brought your face to hers gently. your lips met in a sharp yet delicate kiss, caitlin eager to feel you against her again. but it hadn’t felt usual to you, as your bottom lip caught between her teeth and as your tongue collided with hers. it lacked that passion, that thrill of reveling in your lovers embrace. what was once fire was now a mere ember is a pool of spreading ash. you had feared this feeling for quite sometime although you’d never admit it, it felt as if she was slipping through your fingers.
bit by bit.
Tell me, what's the joy of giving
if you're never pleased?
she had changed.
locking herself away and distancing herself further from you as the season went on. she had always been hard on herself, but even then, she knew when enough was enough and what her limits were. but it seemed that after each game, she lost control of herself more and more. you had never seen her be so critical, so judgmental about her abilities.
it was hard to watch one of the most important people in your life shut themselves away. you wanted nothing more than to be there for her, but she put on the same facade each time and claimed that it as a slump to overcome. but could you really call it a slump when it was starting to weasel its way into the foundations of your relationship?
you hated to think it, but you felt neglected; your wellbeing didn’t feel like it was a priority to caitlin anymore. she used to be so sweet, attentive and caring when you were back in iowa. you wished that you were just as important as basketball. but the mere thought of accusing her of abandoning you seemed harsh when you considered bringing it up to her, because in all fairness, she was undergoing one of the biggest milestones in her life. but that didn’t mean that pushing you aside was fair either. you were taking care of the apartment, running all the errands, helping her balance her schedule, comforting her every single night as she saught after you for solace…and then managing your own life on top of that.
some days it felt like she didn’t even bat an eye at the lengths you went for her. how her laundry was done and set on her dresser, how dinner was made each night, how you picked up her favorite protein powder at the grocery store because you noticed that she was running low? she had began to expect it the more you pushed, not even offering so much as a ‘thank you’ or any regard of appreciation.
you could only give so much with little in return, you need her just as much as she needed you.
On my last strength against you
Baby, tell me what you need
you were happy for her, truly you were. it was so rewarding to see caitlin bond with her team and start to navigate her place in the W. she was beginning to believe in herself and that’s all a girlfriend could want for her partner. but something continued to gnaw at you.
you were doing everything in your power to make more time for caitlin-even if it should be the other way around. maybe by clearing up your schedule, it would make it easy for caitlin to make time for you. but you were sorely mistaken, you couldn’t force someone to make time for something that barely crossed their mind. and perhaps it was a foolish thought. an accusation a bit too cruel, but it was hard to watch caitlin celebrate life without you when most of it was owed to you. no one else served as her backbone, her crutch as she climbed her way to the top.
it was a bittersweet feeling for the most part. you smiled when seeing all the team pictures posted on instagram, chuckling lightly when caitlin retold stories of practices as she got ready for bed each night-the only time you seemed to get with her nowadays. but then there were the tears when you ate meals alone at the head of the table, staring off into the empty seat where she should be sat. and of course the mornings where you didn’t feel like getting out of bed because facing reality of your crumbling relationship was too much to bare.
it was an unfair truth; as she glances off in another direction, you’ll be glancing back to her.
Young as I want to know
I will never let you go
“baby?” her voice felt foreign in your ear. you hadn’t heard that pet name in a while.
“hm?” you responded mindlessly, unable to form a genuine reaction.
you were sat on the balcony of you apartment, the sliding glass doors open behind you. it would let the autumn chill into the house, you told caitlin many times to not leave it open. but she disregarded your commands as she leaned against the frame of the door. you had a small blanket draped over your lap to protect your bare legs from the nippy weather of the changing seasons, your chin resting on your palm as you over looked the view of indiana. your mind felt blank and overcrowded at the same time and trying to clear your head with some fresh air didn’t seem to help at all.
you hadn’t realized she would be home so soon. after all it was 5:00 on a friday evening, you presumed she’d be out with the team or running extra drills with aliyah, hell even at a media event of some sorts. you never knew what it was anymore with her. she didn’t bother to text or update you, most times you only knew of her whereabouts from socials or her family.
“are you ok?” she asked again “it’s freezing out here, you should be inside”
“it’s too stuffy” you sighed, inhaling sharply as the breeze brought in another gust “i can’t be in there right now”
you felt her tense up behind you, the image of her shoving her hands into her pockets formed in your peripheral. this was the most you two had interacted in a while, but your moody attitude appeared sudden to caitlin.
“why not?”
“jus’ can’t”
an unsteady silence filled the atmosphere. the only noises left to be heard were the sniffling of your red and runny nose and the traffic blaring below the apartment complex. you had hoped she’d leave you alone and walk back inside. the optimism of trying had started to disappear and you didn’t think you had much fight left in you. you planned to savor the last bits of energy you had to keep this alive, although today didn’t feel like one of those days. you continued to look out into the distance when she finally moved. you felt the spot next to you plunge as she took a seat.
“you never answered me,” her hand came to rest reassuringly on your thigh. despite the blanket that separated your skin, the contact still felt cold “are you doing ok?”
she had already picked up on your weariness, you were never so shut off when you were with her. but you couldn’t pretend to care when she couldn’t either.
“mhm” everything in you fought to not make it sound so obvious, the sound of your heart breaking as you croaked out the words “i’m good”
caitlin was doing so well and you couldn’t bring yourself to be the bitchy girlfriend that was groveling for attention. you weren’t okay, your relationship wasn’t, but if you just sat in the quiet and let it blow over then maybe it would be. you feared being seen as selfish and you felt guilty as you pushed caitlin away with your short answer.
she huffed, pulling her hand away from you as she hunched over her self, elbows on her knees and head in her hands.
“weeks ago you were talking about how excited you were for fall” she muttered “so that you could put out decorations and we could cuddle up on the couch and watch those old scary movies you love so much”
you allowed yourself to look in her direction, noticing how her face was covered by her beautiful long hair. but you didn’t need to see her to know that she wasn’t pleased.
“but the house looks the same and you’ve been sitting on the balcony every day even though you know it’s gonna make you sick” she craned her neck to look out across the city and you could see the trail of tears in her eyes. just glossy, but not enough to fall “it doesn’t sound like you’re ok”
you couldn’t do this, not right now.
“i’m sorry” you breathed “i understand your concern. i just think i’m a little stressed is all you know? just got a lot going on right now and i guess my focus has just been elsewhere. i’m sorry”
a nearly complete lie, all your focus had been on her these days.
“no need to be, i get it, and you know you can always talk to me about these things. but you gotta come inside, babe” she prodded “you’ll catch a cold”
with reluctance, you gave into her request and pushed the blanket off your lap. caitlin watched as you folded it and draped it over your arm before taking your hand and guiding you inside. the warmth and the calming pumpkin scent of your candle enveloped you like a hug, putting you at ease for the time being.
the both of you fell back into your typical routine almost instantly. no words were exchanged as she headed upstairs to shower, and you moseying into the kitchen to start on dinner. some polite conversation was made when caitlin came back downstairs with wet hair and freshly moisturized skin to help you finish dinner, but that’s as far as it went. no hugs from behind as you stood at the stove, no kisses on the neck, no laughter that was pure enough to make your stomach hurt. but it was simple and it was nice, enough to hold you over until the rubber band holding you together finally snapped.
Trading a baseball lover as I face the snow
“alright,” you said as you walked into the living room, heels padding against the carpet of the hallway and your dress itching at the skin on your legs. your fingers fiddled with your last earring, making you huff in relief when the clasp finally shut “i’m ready!”
it was date night tonight, the first in what felt like years, and there weren’t any words that could describe how ecstatic you were. just the thought of some much needed bonding time with caitlin gave you hope. yes times have been tough, but there wasn’t anything a little quality time (and maybe some good sex) couldn’t fix. you had been planning this night for sometime, making sure you both had the evening off and meticulously scheduling every last minute of the night. you were optimistic that tonight would open up a new door for progress.
but when you walked into the living room, your heart sunk. here you were, all dolled up with the prettiest smile on your face, waltzing into the most disappointing sight.
caitlin sat on the couch, legs spread and back against the soft cushions. she had her phone in hand, hair pulled back like always…and most definitely in a dirty tee shirt from her hamper and a pair of sweats. certainly not date attire, you knew.
“cait” you stood blankly “it’s 7:00”
“uh yea” she responded, only looking up from her phone for a moment, then quickly doing a double take once she realized your physical state “what’s with the dress? i mean you look as beautiful as always but-”
“are you serious?” you scoffed. you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. never in a million years did you think this would happen in your relationship. caitlin wasn’t like that.
“what do you mean ‘am i serious’?” she was taken aback, frustration already evident on her face as her checks glowed a shade of red “i just asked a fucking question”
“you really don’t know?” shoulders slumping when you realized she actually did forget.
she shook her head, brows furrowing as she awaited your response. a quick “no” fell from her lips.
“is the 24th caitlin” you chewed at your lip nervously, trying to hold back tears. you voice wavered as it caught it your throat, making you sound weak and defeated “our date?”
the color drained from her face in seconds, gaze softening and lips downturned. she was off the couch in seconds as she stumbled towards you, bringing your hands into hers. but you pulled them away swiftly and shot her a glare. you were done with the excuses, done with being left in the dust
“babe, i’m so sorry” she shook her head and brushed off the sting that came with your reluctance to her touch “i totally spaced, i could’ve sworn it was next week”
“i’ve been talking about this for months, caitlin” the words stumbled out from gritted teeth, jaw clenched in anger. you had no idea what to say anymore.
she gulped deeply as she looked down to her feet, she was in the doghouse for sure. although you’d consider her fate to be much worse than that. you began to sniffle upon her silence. could she really not manage to say anything right now?
“let me make it up to you” she tried to compromise. part of her knew she’d never be able to outlive this, but she was delusional enough to still believe she could somehow fix it.
“no,” you breathed, bending down to take off your heels. there wasn’t even a point in salvaging this tonight “just forget it”
“no really, you’re upset and this meant a lot to you and i want to fix it”
that was your breaking point. perhaps she didn’t mean it that way, but did she really only see this as something important to you? did she care at all about spending time with you? you wouldn’t be dumb to think that she wouldn’t, she had hardly done anything recently to make you think otherwise.
“really?” you sneered again, there was nothing holding you back anymore. you tossed your shoes onto the couch, leaving them as a problem for later “you want to fix this because it meant a lot to me?”
caitlin tried to study your facial features as she said nothing yet again. she couldn’t tell if you were genuinely mad or just annoyed, willing to forgive or prepared to hold this against her. she noticed the deepened tones of your cheeks and nose, the twitch of your left eyebrow, and the motion of your tongue darting out to sooth the previous bites on your lip. she had never seen you this mad, not in the eternity she had known you. you were such a sweet and loving person, incapable of talking bad about someone or staying mad for long. but she’d be damned if it felt you hadn’t changed within a second.
“i thought you would’ve cared too” you continued “you know, since i’m your girlfriend and you should also want to spend time with me”
“i do spend time with you”
“the fuck you do”
“what the hell does that mean?” she questioned angrily “of course i do, i’ve just been busy”
“please enlighten me then” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes “when was the last time we spent time together?”
“well what about tuesday, huh? when we, uh..when we watched that movie before bed? or when we both went to the team dinner the other night? that was spending time together wasn’t it?”
“no i watched the movie, you barely talked to me all night and the crawled into bed and went to sleep with your back turned,” you choked up as you recalled the memory, you remembered how much it broke your heart. your fingers came to pinch the bridge of your nose as the familiar sting of tears washed over you. “and really, the team dinner? you call that spending time? is it really that if you just chat with your buddies the whole night? you practically ignored me the entire time”
she kissed her teeth at you, clearly aggravated, but deep down she knew you were right. she hadn’t been good to you at all these last few months. and if she were to really be fair to herself, she’d have to admit that it was taking a toll on her too. she didn’t know why she was doing this, why she was acting this way, but she had already made her bed and she’d have to lie in it. this was a habit she knew she’d been baring for quite some time, pulling away when things got hard, leaving her loved ones to cope with the pain from her mistakes. and it broke her heart each time, but with you, it was like she was losing air.
“i’m trying here, alright?” her throat was dry as she tried to give you some poor excuse. she was too caught up in her own shame that she was digging her grave deeper.
“look caitlin,” you glared “i don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but i’m tired. trying just won’t cut it. i know you’ve felt the distance too, we haven’t been normal for a while now and it’s killing me. i can’t eat alone every night, have you come home just to ignore me, and the only time i get with you is under the public eye or with your friends. i know you have shit going on, cait, but you keep pushing me further and further away from you and i don’t know how much longer i can take it. i’m here for you time and time again and you can’t find it in yourself to set aside one fucking night for me”
you chewed at your lip, carefully navigating your next move before continuing.
“i left my entire life behind for you, caitlin. my friends, my family, everything that i have ever known. i left it all to be here with you and support you. and the fact that i spend every day mourning you when you’re in the same house is suffocating, i just can’t do it”
body shaking with anticipation, you looked down at your bare feet. you couldn’t bring yourself to look her in the eyes anymore. before you could stop it, sobs racked your body, tears cascading down your face. the emotions were too much to handle.
“babe-” she cooed, voice softening upon your confession. she’d never felt so disappointed in herself.
“stop,” you said meekly, cutting her off through your own sniffles. you forced yourself to look at her briefly, wiping away the mascara that had definitely accumulated under your eyes. whatever she had to say, you couldn’t hear it tonight. whether it be an apology or total rejection, the end to this period of suffering was about to end and you weren’t ready to deal with it head on yet “i think we need some time, caitlin. i just-i’m too upset and i’m hurting and i think time will do us some good”
“wait what?”
“you need to work out your shit. i don’t know, i think i’ll go to one of my friends places or something for a while..because i can’t put myself through anymore of this”
“no,” it came out as a blurt, her mouth moving before she could think. although she wouldn’t want to think, the image of you leaving plaguing her mind already “please, no, we can figure this out! god, fuck- just please don’t leave me”
you watched her slowly breakdown, she was becoming increasingly hysteric as begged you to stay. you gulped hard when she started crying along with you, another one of the few times she had shown you this side of her. it pained you to see the sight, your instincts told you to take it all back and reassure her everything was ok. but you had to keep your head high and remind yourself that things wouldn’t be ok if you didn’t look out for yourself, even if that included stepping away from caitlin for a few days.
“i’m not…i’m not leaving you, cait. just gonna take some time away, we both need to think about how this relationship is going to continue. and i can’t have an open mind if the cycle continues. but i promise it’s not goodbye, ok?”
she breathed through staggered hiccups, trying to force her body to relax. she couldn’t stand to be without you, even if it didn’t seem like it these past few months. her calloused hand came up to run down her face, taking the tears with it in an attempt to calm down.
“yea” she agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. she hated this, but she knew you both needed the time. you were always right “yea, ok”
and with that, you reluctantly stalked to the bedroom to pack a bag for a few days. shoving random shirts and shorts into the small duffel, avoiding the ones that you’d previously stolen from caitlin over the years. she had opted to sulk alone in the living room, bracing herself by sitting on the couch. she still couldn’t process any of this, the fact that she wouldn’t be with you for more than a day made her sick. even more sick at the fact that you couldn’t talk this out right away, you’d both have to navigate your feelings alone for a while.
she was perched at the edge of the couch, knee bouncing at an alarming rate. her gaze was fixed at the wall in front of her, staring at the variety of pictures that you’d hung on the wall. some of you both when you were younger, others of pictures with your families, and a few from the vacations and holidays you two shared since you’d been together. but her favorite ones, the ones she couldn’t bring herself to look away from, where the one of just you both. her eyes flickered across each and everyone, looking at the way you smiled at her, eyes almost welling up again when she saw how happy you guys were. she’d do anything to have those moments back, go back in time and stop herself from treating you so horribly.
she was disrupted from her period of musing when she heard you walk down the stairs for the second time tonight. you came into view with a bang slung across your shoulder, high heels replaced with a beat up pair of converse. you grabbed your keys as you stopped momentarily to give caitlin a saddened look, lips drawn in an apologetic smile. but you had nothing to be sorry for, caitlin thought when she gave you a similar look in return.
“hey,” she said before you could reach the front door. you turned your head, hand resting on the knob. desperation lingered in her eyes “i love you, and i’m so fucking sorry”
you dipped your head and pursed your lips, letting her know of your approval before fully opening the door and beginning a solemn ascent to your friends apartment.
“i know”
On my last strength against you
Baby, tell me what you need
it had been 6 days. 6 agonizingly long days.
she had nothing but time to think, and yet, she couldn’t seem to gather her thoughts at the same time. her mind was everywhere, bouncing from regret and guilt, to anger and dissatisfaction, and of course the remorse and pain. this is what caitlin was afraid of doing, pushing herself so far away that it had finally gotten to you. she’d gotten caught up in her head so deep that she failed to realize how much you were hurting. she’d never forgive herself for this.
everything felt gloomier without you, she noticed that now. there was a certain comfort in you being there, even if she did ignore you and push you to the side, you’d always be there and she abused that luxury. from the moment you left the essence of your shared home shifted uncomfortably. it was like a storm had unleashed its wicked winds to reign terror over the household, dulling your spirt that had kept it so pleasant and welcoming.
but she had to admit, the time was good. she needed to sit and make a change, promise herself that she’d get better for you. even if that did mean she’d have to sleep alone for a few nights, order takeout because her cooking would never amount to yours, brush her teeth before bed and come home from practice with you nowhere in sight. it was a necessary torture, but only temporary, she reminded herself. maybe she’d never know why she was acting the way she was, have to come to terms with the fact that she’s a shitty girlfriend and doesn’t deserve the apology she hoped you were willing to give. but despite knowing or not knowing, at least she could catch the poison that was her troubled subconscious before it could sink too deep. it was time to give up the self loathing and internal ridiculing. she wouldn’t let herself hurt you anymore
caitlin had always struggled with holding herself to an unachievable standard, convincing herself that she would never be enough or worthy of all this attention. she couldn’t believe that so many people wanted to watch her play, that she was first pick and that she was finally playing pro like she always wanted-part of her thought it was too good to be true. but she didn’t want to wake up from this implausible dream, forcing herself to go above and beyond just to hold onto it. and in the process, she’d forgotten to make time for you too. it was foolish, to ignore you like she had, you were her everything. every waking moment, at every practice and at every game, you consumed the entirety of her mind. at the end of the day, she was doing this all for you.
it was easy to get lost in the fame and the excitement and the pressure, but it shouldn’t have been enough to make her neglect you. nonetheless, she managed to do it anyways. so she took these 6 days to reflect and really target why she felt like she needed to act like this. she would go to the ends of the earth for you, willing to pick herself apart if it meant making it up to you.
Come into my bedroom
Come into my bedroom
her foot tapped nervously against the coir fiber of your friends doormat. a faded “welcome” written in black felt contradictory as she tried to find the motivation to knock. you hadn’t texted or called, hadn’t reached out to caitlin at all to let her know you were ready. but she needed you like she needed air and just had to see you. she had to finally apologize for how terrible she was acting, beg for your forgiveness because being away from you was eating her alive.
she let out a shaky breath as her closed fist met with the white wooden door, sending a loud pounding noise through the other side. caitlin could hear your friends dog barking and scratching against the door, followed by rushed footsteps that got increasingly closer. she barley had a moment to regather her thoughts before the door was pulled open harshly.
“caitlin?” your friend came into view, disheveled as she tried to keep her dog from running out the door. she quirked her eyebrows at caitlin’s presence, shocked and confused-and definitely a little angry-as to why she was at her door “what’re you doing here?”
“i um,” caitlin cleared her throat as if to stall, wanting more time to think of the right thing to say “i was hoping i could talk to-”
“i don’t think she’s ready to see you, cait” your friend muttered, trying to keep her voice down so you couldn’t hear. and you probably didn’t, caitlin was extremely aware of that.
“i know i know” caitlin urged “but i just need to see her ok? i need to make this right”
your friend chewed at the inside of her cheek as if contemplating her next move. you were her best friend and she’d do anything to protect you. after a few seconds, she shook her head and began closing the door, offering caitlin an apology and a goodbye as caitlin continued to beg for just one chance.
“no please, just let me see her! just a few minutes!” she said louder this time, slotting her sneaker clad foot in the doorway “i just need a second i swear to god-”
your friend put all she could into getting caitlin to leave, trying to push her out the door as quickly as possible. but she was persistent and continued her pleas.
somewhere in between the endless banter, through caitlin’s desperate cries and your friends agitated dismissals, came the answer to caitlin’s prayers. you were napping in the guest bedroom when she walked up the steps to your friends home, having been exhausted from sobbing throughout the night. just like caitlin, you hated sleeping alone. but your efforts to seek out peace were quickly interrupted when you heard subtle shouts from the the other room. curious and worried when you heard your friend raise her voice, you hurried to see what the commotion was all about.
you were surprised to the see the scene unfolding in front of you. your friend wrangling the door shut as her legs fought to keep the dog at bay, cussing out whoever was behind the door. you could’ve about laughed at her antics until you suddenly realized who it was that she was trying to shut out. you had assumed maybe an ex or maybe even a family member would have been the culprit, but the long silky black hair that glimmered through the gap in the door quickly corrected you.
“caitlin?” you questioned just as your friend had before. you stood back a few feet front the door, although your voice was loud enough to make the both of them stop.
their heads both whipped in your direction, the door creaking open wider so you could see her in full view. your friend huffed, rambling about how she thought you were asleep and how she was sorry that they had woken you up. but you discarded her as your eyes locked with your girlfriends. there was a certain look of grief in her eyes, the color almost fogging over in despair. your head told you to look away, the sight too depressing to stand, but your heart yearned for her nonetheless, unable to tear your eyes from her.
“YN” she spoke. it was like a cliche movie scene, like out of a fairytale, when the prince sees his princess in her natural beauty for this first time. whist she was hardly a prince and you hardly looked the part of a princess, the feeling was all the same. that feeling of reassurance and love. you were here, right here in front of her in your pajamas and bunny slippers, and suddenly she felt some sort of relief wash over her.
you walked over to them, assuring your friend that it was ok and asking her to give you some privacy. she walked away hesitantly after giving your shoulder a supportive squeeze. she shot caitlin a disapproving glare as she disappeared back into the house. you ushered caitlin to follow you out to the front porch, motioning to the swing that croaked in the afternoon breeze.
“what’re you doing here cait?” you asked, not looking at her, as you settled on the swings cushion, using your foot to keep it from rocking back and forth “i thought we agreed to take some time”
she took the spot next to you slowly as if not to scare you off, she worried she’d mess this up with you. she so badly wanted to reach over, rest her hand against your thigh and feel the soft skin of your palm rest atop it. but she opted for her own lap, picking at her nails mindlessly.
“i know,” a sigh that had nestled deep in her chest had finally met its release when she began “but i couldn’t take it anymore. this week has been fucking torture for me…i had to see you”
sadness washed over you for a moment, like the sun in a day of mist when it has nothing to shine upon, only dissipating when you felt her shoulder brush against yours. there was almost a faint smile on the corner of your lips, you’d also missed her touch over these past few days. but reality was cruel as it brought you back to the present moment.
“it’s torture for me too” you admitted. you despised being away from her, constantly yearning to be with her whenever she was away.
“really?”
“of course” you snorted, shaking your head as you look out across your friends lawn. you eyed the hydrangea bushes that weaved its way through the porch railings, the patches of yellow that spread through the grass-what a statement to question “i always miss you when we’re apart, why wouldn’t i?”
it sounded stupid to say, you realized once the words left your mouth. nothing you had done would insinuate you missing her, especially leaving her to wallow in your apartment alone, if anything it did quite the opposite.
“cause i’ve been a fucking asshole” she blurted “i wouldn’t miss me either to be honest”
she wasn’t lying, she was an asshole. the pain and loneliness that you endured over the past several months were dreadful, and she was finally ready to admit that it was all her fault. there were no more excuses to hide behind, not when your relationship was at stake. as she reminisced on the many years you’d been in each others lives, she found no reason to validate her behavior. you were everything she could ever need, ever want, and she was taking that for granted.
“nothing could stop me from missing you, cait”
a bitter taste filled your mouth as you anxiously responded to her. you’d been biting down on your lip so hard that you had started to bleed, barely even noticing it through the stiff tension between you. it was silent again for a while as you both pondered on your next moves. should caitlin beg for your forgiveness, get on her knees in front of you and cry? or maybe it should be you, convincing the both of you it was a misunderstanding and you should just forgive her and go home? you’d been straining yourself with your own stubbornness and you didn’t know how much longer you could keep it up. part of you wanted to hold your ground and let her know that you wouldn’t except this treatment, but the other part of you just wanted to fall into her embrace and forget about the whole thing. but before you could conquer this battle within your brain, caitlin beat you to it with a rapid burst.
“baby, i-” she said, stoping herself to think-was she even allowed to call you that anymore? her tongue clicked and her eyes squeezed shut, this feeling of guilt was insurmountable “i can’t tell you how sorry i am. how much i regret everything”
she sounded defeated as she fought to get the words out, a whimper threatening to spill at any moment. her nose stung as she sniffled back cries. she thought she’d never get through this, that she wouldn’t even be able to look you in the eyes. but to much of her dismay, your delicate hand met with hers, forcing her fidgety fingers to relax. she turned her head to look at you through damp lashes, and finally seeing your sparkling eyes looking back at hers, found the courage to continue.
“i get so…caught up in myself, and i forget about what’s right in front of me. practice, games, all the hate i’ve been getting recently-christ everything just starts beating down on me and i get so lost. i isolate myself and i push away anyone who tries to break through this damn wall i’ve put up..and when they do..i just end up hurting them” she watched your face contort as she spoke, your lips turning downward to a sympathetic frown. you were always too sweet to her, too good for this world “and that’s what i’ve done to you, the most amazing person in my life and i won’t ever forgive myself for it”
“honey..” the pet named rolled off your tongue effortlessly. caitlin would be lying if she said that hearing it didn’t put her mind at ease. you stuttered, trying to find the words yet again, but she urged you to let her finish.
“i’ve let my shit get in the way of loving you the way you should be. there’s no excuse for how i’ve treated you since the move to indy-not tough games or being homesick or any of that-and i’ve regretted every minute of it. you don’t deserve to go to bed alone just because i was upset, o-or to feel like you have to deal with your stuff by yourself…i know moving has been hard on you, especially since your entire family is back home…and the fact that i haven’t been any support to you is unacceptable and i take full blame for that. and for everything else too, like making you feel neglected? it’s fucking breaking my heart knowing that that’s what i’ve caused, that i’m never around and that i’ve been the furthest thing from a girlfriend. we’re supposed to be a team, we are a team, and all i’ve done is let you carry the weight of both of us. i’m so incredibly sorry and i’ll keep saying it until you believe me”
her chest rose and fell ever so faintly as she breathed deeply. she had run out of air as the words left her in a haste, eager to get her apology out. these past days were spent planning each word, each motion, each action so meticulously and she needed it to work.
and with her final huff, there was a gentle silence again, the wind chimes hanging from your friends porch ceiling clinked softly together. you removed your hand from caitlin’s, letting it rise to her and face and resting it on her cheekbone. the pad of your thumb rubbed into her soft skin, feeling the prominence of her defined cheekbone. she felt warm, probably worked up from the heightened emotions, but it was soothing in a way.
“i believe you, cait” you breathed. you felt her instantly relax into you, the weight of her head pressing into your palm. her eyes fluttered shut and her brows furrowed, she felt undeserving of your reluctance “and i know you’re sorry, it’s okay”
“it’s not” she mumbled against your hand “it’s far from okay. and i’m going to do everything i can to gain your trust back”
“you’re right, it’s not. but i know you’re actually sorry…and you don’t need to gain my trust back, babe. you’ve always had it” her lips quirked when she heard the lighthearted tone of your voice “you really hurt me, and these past few days have been straight from hell. but the fact that you came and owned up to it all shows me that you’re going to work on it”
she nodded frantically, agreeing with every word. because it was true, she’d go the extra mile to ensure you never felt like this again.
“i can’t imagine a world in which i’m not spending eternity with you..so i’m willing to forgive, but my heart won’t be able to bare this again and i need you to promise me it won’t happen in the future. i know you have so much going on in your life, you’ve gone through a lot, but it can’t continue to get in the way of us. i’m here for a reason, to listen and to help in any way i can. please talk to me instead of shutting me out-i want to be there for you okay?”
“of course, i’m going to be better. for you. you deserve more than what i’ve shown you and that’s far from how i want to be, we’re in this together and i want to change. i love you so fucking much and it’ll never happen again”
with a hand still on her cheek and a smile tugging at your lips, you leaned in closer to her. the denim of your jeans rubbed against the swing cushions as you moved nearly into her lap, close enough to press your lips to hers. you could tell the kiss caught her off guard when you felt her body jolt, but quickly relaxing when she fell under your enchantment.
it was a feeling that was hard to explain, like a flame being reignited or a spark nestling in the depth of your chest. you hadn’t kissed caitlin in quite some time, and when you did all that time ago, it had felt meaningless. but here it was different, the taste of jovial tears mixing with that of your lips, creating a rejuvenated feeling of love and adoration. there as a kick to this kiss as she pulled you in deeper, her hand coming to the back of your head to cradle you. it felt good again and you couldn’t be more grateful.
“i love you too”
Come into my bedroom
Come into my bedroom
it had been about a week or so since you decided you were ready to come home and work on healing your relationship with caitlin, and it had already been going better than you had expected. even though the conversation on your best friends porch went smoothly, you had only imagined the fights and anger that would be exchanged once you came home. but caitlin had shown quite the change already and you could already feel the rips and holes of your relationship beginning to mend. she had been just as doting and soft as she was at the beginning of your relationship.
she was treating you to candlelit dinners, drawing you the most relaxing baths, and fitting time into her schedule for you no matter how long it might be. she even took you golfing with her and was dragging you along to outings with the team and occasional press events. you hadn’t felt this excited in a long time, it was like you were crushing on her all over again.
for the first time since your life started in indiana, the little things were beginning to matter.
and now it was a quiet weekend night in, the plushness of the living room carpet weaving between your bare toes as caitlin’s hands rested quaintly on your hips. the furniture had been been pushed off to the outskirts of the room in order to give your bodies plenty of space to sway freely. the overhead light fixture had been long forgotten once the evening sunset began to bleed through the window, creating the sweetest source of light. the old record player, the one you brought with you when you moved away from home, sat on the the table in the corner as it spun yours and caits favorite album. the tune hummed quietly as its scratchy notes bounced off the walls, yet it was perfect for a night like this.
maybe it was cheesy, the way you and caitlin rocked side to side as you danced in your pajamas to sappy love songs, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. it was like a page out of the romance novels you read in high school. you were convinced this was all you needed in life, no luxury clothes or fancy dates, just you and caitlin soaking each other in as you danced around the apartment. it healed something in you as she spun you in her arms, laughing heartily when you stumbled. she was finally back to being your caity girl once more.
“what?” you giggled breathlessly after catching yourself from almost falling, pushing a loose strand of hair out of your face. she was staring at you when you faced her again, dimples evident as she grinned at you. her eyes had a softness to them, similar to the softness of her hand that snuck under your shirt to lightly pinch your side.
"nothin'" she shook her head with a wavering sigh "you're just...everything i've ever dreamed of, and i don't know- i just can't believe this is real"
she seemed choked up, in genuine disbelief that you were standing right in front of her, and it made your heart melt. it was moments like these that you craved, where her walls came down and she was completely herself with you. no pressure to look strong or tough, no holding back tears or true emotions, just pure love.
"of course it's real cait" you titled your head with an appreciative pout. you pulled her in with a comforting hand to the back of her head, leveraging yourself on your tiptoes to place a kiss to her forehead "what do you mean, baby?"
"like," she tried to find the words as she cleared her throat "like i can't believe that you're still with me. i don't know anyone who would stay through anything like the pain i've cause you. and the fact that you're right here in front of me, been so patient with me and understanding...i just feel so undeserving"
"hey, of course you're deserving" you politely scolded "we all make mistakes and sometimes they're bigger than we intend. but i love you more than words can describe and i know you've been trying to mend them. everyone has rough patches in their relationships, but i'm here to stay, caitlin. i'm not going anywhere"
you watched as her shoulders fell drastically; it was apparent that your words meant more than you had originally thought. she had always need reassurance, having always doubted herself in anything she did, and it was an unmatchable feeling knowing that you were the one to soother her. she nodded, not saying anything as leaned into you even more. so, you confided, not prying for a response. this vulnerability was already a big step for her.
you rested your forehead against hers, arms coming to loop around her neck. her long lashes fluttered as they tickled yours. the music was still playing in the background, allowing you both to fall into another oscillating rhythm. although it was cut short again when you felt her lips part, a quiet voice barely escaping her.
"it was you" it came out almost inaudible, leaving you confused on whether you hear her correctly or not.
"hm?"
"it was you," she said clearly this time, foreheads till touching and eyes shut in romantic bliss "from the second we met i knew it was going to be you. like a soulmate or life partner..whatver you want to call it, i just knew that you were going to be it for me"
as you stand there, your heart races, the world about stops spinning. each syllable strikes a chord deep within you, resonating with the echoes of past moments you’ve cherished with her. you could hear those words over and over and never get tired of it. The weight of uncertainty from the past months finally lifts, replaced by an exhilaration that makes everything else fade into the background. nothing else mattered anymore, no stress and no disdain for the road ahead, just you, caitlin, and an eternity together.
"you're it for me too," you said "in every lifetime"
-
A/N: FINALLY!! it's finished!! i definitely didn't spell check this, so if you catch any mistakes, feel free to DM me so i can fix it! i love you and thank you for your patience with this fic :')
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beingsuneone · 1 year ago
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Memories & Delusions
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PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE
SYNOPSIS: Jason Todd is dead, you have to remember that; even if the newest villain in town is both incredibly sexy and reminds you of the boy you used to love.
FANDOM: DC
PAIRING(S): Jason Todd x Fem!Reader
RATING: PG
CHARACTERS MENTIONED: Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Tim
GENRE/AU: fluff, different timeline AU (not mentioned in detail but the timeline is different than canon), canon divergence, reader is kind of like Stephanie so NOT Bruce’s kids but she does live in the manor.
WORD COUNT: 3.9k
WARNINGS: Swearing, mentions of blood and injuries.
A/N: I could fs do a part two to this ;)
DEDICATIONS: Myself for having this idea for more than two years and finally getting it out in writing in some way
CREDITS: N/A
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“Jesus Christ! Who the fuck is this guy, Batman?” You exclaim, panting hard through your mask; whoever this Red Hood guy is… he really knows your team's weaknesses. It’s disconcerting.
Weirdly enough, he’s left you mostly alone.
Bruce shrugs from across the room. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out.”
It’s a blur of movement as Red Hood tries to attack mostly Bruce, only attacking Dick or you if you get in the way.
He’s said almost nothing since this fight started.
After a few minutes, Bruce sends a signal and jumps out of the half destroyed building; Dick follows and jumps out shortly after.
Leaving just you and Gothams latest criminal.
You’re about to turn to jump again, when suddenly your wrist is caught in Red Hood’s hand.
The familiarity of it makes you gasp and freeze.
He stares down at you, intimidating and silent through his red helmet.
Returning his stare, with as much fiery energy as you can muster, you try to pull your wrist away; His grip is like iron and you can’t.
“Don’t get in my way, Y/n.” He says, making your heart drop with the use of your civilian name. “I won’t choose between you and my goal.”
Your back is rigid and you’re breathing has stopped… if he knows your name, that means he probably knows everyone else’s too.
Fuck.
He finally lets go, brushing past your stiff body.
You’re too shocked to follow him.
….
“He knew my name, Bruce!” You say, feeling panicked. “Do you know what that means?”
Bruce nods curtly. “It means you aren’t suiting up until we’ve taken him down.” You try to protest but Bruce holds a hand up to cut you off. “It’s not up for discussion.”
You fidget with the small red pendant hanging around your neck, something you do whenever you’re feeling too many emotions.
It reminds you of Jason, the first boy you’ve ever been in love with and also the last; Jason was also Bruce’s second adopted son.
Jason Todd died five years ago.
But when he was alive… There was something special about him. He was always so eager to help Bruce by being robin.
That was back before you had your own suit; really, you’d only gotten a superhero identity so you could hunt down the joker and get revenge for Jason, but Bruce had managed to convince you not to do that in the last five years.
Probably for the best, even if seventeen is too young for someone to die; even if having a strong bond ripped away from you before it could become anything still hurt so badly.
You follow Bruce down into the batcave. “What do we know about Red Hood? Do we have any idea how he originated? It seems like he just popped out of nowhere.”
Bruce contemplates his answer as he unlocks the bat computer. “All we know is that he would have had to fly under our radar for months in order to take over the whole underground drug ring.”
You over hover his shoulder, trying to see what’s on the screen below him. “I don’t understand how we wouldn’t hear anything about him? With that many people who work for him, you’d think one of them would mention something.”
He hums in response. “They must be terrified of him.”
Alfred inserts himself into the conversation and ushers you back into the main part of the manor. “Alright, Miss. Y/n, You’re officially off duty indefinitely.” He pauses. “Like Master Bruce said, it is safer if you disconnect yourself from your hero identity.”
You frown. “If he knows my real name, he probably knows where I live.”
“He also told you, quote ‘don’t get in my way’ end quote.” Alfred tuts. “He clearly has no intention of hurting you as a civilian.”
You huff and head up to your bedroom, feeling like you really need to be out there but not really knowing why.
You suppose you don’t know what to do with your time anymore, now that you’ve been superhero-ing for so long.
When was the last time you read a book? Or watched a movie, just because you wanted to? It’s been too long…
Your bookshelves mostly carry decorative encyclopedias and other books that would bore you to sleep, so you leave your room and head just down the hallway.
The door creaks as you push open and clicks when you push it shut; then, you’re left in the silence of Jason Todd’s bedroom. Unchanged and untouched from the last moment he was in here.
It’s a little messy but nothing out of the ordinary for a teenage boy; the bed was never made, and his clothes were ever put in his drawers despite them being washed.
There’s books pulled out and just scattered in places, schoolbooks, comic books, novels… finally you spot what you wanted to find.
It’s a very old and very worn copy of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, something the two of you used to read together when you’d sneak onto the roof of the manor at nighttime.
You’d watch the stars and one of you would read the book out loud, until eventually you both would pass out and give Bruce a heart attack the next morning.
Maybe it was time to revisit that tradition, even if you were only reading to yourself.
Bruce and Alfred are in the Cave so you find your way into the roof and lay back. The shingles are definitely more uncomfortable without Jason to lay on, but it’s still a nice feeling nonetheless.
Just the act of laying under the stars with that book in your hands, makes you feel a kind of warmth that you haven’t felt in years.
You close your eyes and take a long, deep breath of night air; It’s fresh and ever so slightly damp, but in a way that makes you feel nice. The cold nips at your body in all the right ways.
Unfortunately, all bliss is momentary, and someone clearing their throat makes you jump a couple centimeters upwards.
You’re met with the bright red helmet of Red Hood.
“Pride and Prejudice, huh?” He says casually, though you're pretty sure he has a voice changer on, which makes his voice sound more irritated than it probably is.
You back up a few inches. “Bru-” Red Hood slaps a hand over your mouth before you can finish yelling for help.
You squirm in his grip, but he just maneuvers you so that your back is to his chest and you can barely move which makes your body lock up again— you can’t help the feeling of familiarity that settles in your stomach, or the way your body reacts to his.
Worst of all, he smells just like… no, it must just be where you are.
Jason Todd is dead.
And yet.
“Relax, Y/n, I’m not here to hurt you.” Something about him makes you listen and you relax your body. He kind of half-scoffs in response. “Are you done?”
You nod as best you can. He releases you.
“Who— why are you here?” You say, trying to ignore the fact that everything about this masked man reminds you of Jason.
Your chest rises and falls irregularly as he stares at you.
His head snaps away randomly. “Why should I tell you that?”
“Don’t answer my question with a question.”
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”
There’s a look of defiance shared between the two of you, or, at least, on your end. You can’t actually see his face so you’re really just assuming.
You spin away and blow out a labored breath. “God, I must be going insane…” Even the way he talks with you sounds like Jason.
“You’re so short, you look like a bunny who lost its carrot.” He says with a laugh.
“I do not!” You exclaim angrily, your mouth dropping open. “Okay, that’s it, I’m calling Bruce.” Your hand slips into your pocket to pull out your phone, and just as it's out of your pocket, Red Hood grabs your wrist; he traps it in one spot and yanks the phone from your hand.
He gently sets it on the ground. “Tell that fucker whatever you want, but wait until I’m gone.” The tone in his voice sends a chill down your spine. He seems so angry…
With that, he leaves, taken the same way that you took off the roof.
You stand there until you hear the roar of his motorbike, and then you finally retreat from the roof with the book clutched tightly to your chest.
…..
“I’m going with you, Bruce. You can’t stop me.” You say, already moving to try to grab your suit.
“No, you’re not.” He says sternly, blocking your path. “You need to stay out of this fight.”
You raise your eyebrows in challenge. “I’m going whether you let me wear that suit or not.” Bruce apparently doesn’t like this because he frowns even harder than before. You continue, “You can’t go alone. Dick is out of town and Tim is at school. Let me come.”
“You forget I did this by myself for quite a while before I adopted Dick.” He says firmly, leaving no room for argument.
Bruce doesn’t need your help, you know that; helping him isn’t your real goal.
Ever since the rooftop incident with Red Hood you’d gone into some sort of obsessive spiral over his similarities to Jason.
You feel like you need to talk to him again, touch him again… just to see why he’s so familiar; you feel insane.
The deepest parts of your brain scream at you that it’s not just similarities, that he really is Jason but… he can’t be; you watched them bury Jason’s body.
“There’s something else going on with you.” Bruce says, basically sizing you up.
You stiffen, which unfortunately gives away your next lie. “There’s nothing going on with me.” No excuse comes to mind so you don’t say anything more.
Bruce pauses for a beat.
“This has nothing to do with Red Hood.”
“Okay? Why would that matter?” You say dismissively, but also way too fast. “I don’t think keeping me locked up at home helps anyone.”
He sighs and finally caves. “Fine, you can come.”
…..
You aren’t sure how this situation devolved so quickly, but your communications got cut off a while ago and you haven’t been able to find Bruce or navigate very well through the rubble.
You’re bleeding heavily from a few different cuts and you’re pretty sure you sprained your ankle.
The faint cackle of the Joker makes you dive under a fallen piece of concrete, because if he comes this way he’ll surely kill you.
But the laugh recedes so you crawl out and sit against it instead.
You’re just about to start sobbing from the pain when you hear footsteps again; you go silent and try to move but you don't allow that.
You see a flash of red, and then Red Hood turns a corner into your line of sight.
“Christ’s sake, Y/n.” He mumbles. “What happened?” He approaches and drops down so he’s sitting on his feet, he stares for a moment, and you assume he’s assessing your injuries.
“You can’t call me that— here.” You hiss when he presses a finger against your ankle.
He stands up and takes both your hands, completely ignoring what you said. “Up. But don’t stand on your bad ankle.”
You grip his hands and stand up, holding your bad ankle in the air; Red Hood scoops you up bridal style not a moment later.
You squeal. “What are you doing?”
He stops walking and turns the face of his helmet directly toward you. “I’m taking you back to my base so I can help you get fixed up.” He interrupts you before you can speak, answering the question you were going to ask. “Batman isn’t here anymore, he went to follow after the Joker.”
It’s a rough walk to his bike, and it lasts for about ten minutes; ten awkward minutes of you being carried by Red Hood.
Red Hood who’s supposed to be a criminal and your enemy. Red Hood who brings you more comfort than he should just because of who he reminds you of.
He settles you onto the bike, pulling out an extra helmet before he speeds off.
…..
“Jesus, you sprained your ankle really badly.” He curses, performing whatever medical procedures as you hiss and whine at the pain.
He’s already stitched and/or dressed any of the open wounds you had and he saved the worst for last.
“Okay,” he says absent-mindedly. “I can’t do this properly with this thing.”
He reaches for his helmet but you stop him. “You’re taking your helmet off?”
He hesitates, then nods slowly. “I have to. If you don’t want to see, then shut your eyes until I’m done.”
You nod and squeeze your eyes shut.
He sighs softly and gets back to working on your ankle.
…..
“I swear to god, Bruce, it’s him. Red Hood is Jason.” You say, purposfully making your voice flat and void of emotion. “He has to be.”
Bruce just stares.
And stares.
Sympathetically, softly. But he stares.
“Jason has been dead for a long time, Y/n, and you know that.”
“No— I know, but he can’t be— that has to be him.” You back up into one of the chairs in the batcave, trying to calm your racing heart; you still try to keep a calm outward facade.
“What makes you think he’s Jason?” Bruce asks.
You weakly gesture at nothing with your hand. “Just look at him. He’s— everything about him is the same.”
Tim snorts from the computer. “The running drug rings and murders?”
“Not appropriate, Tim.” Dick says flatly and Tim’s face falls quickly.
You don’t blame him, you probably would have made a joke like that too.
Shaking your head, you stare at the floor past Bruce. “They sound the same, they talk the same way, they look similar— hell, they even smell the same.”
Bruce’s brows furrow. “How do you know what he smells like?”
“Uh…” you stall. “You know, close combat.”
Apparently, he drops it even though he clearly doesn’t believe you, because he asks another question. “We’ve never seen Red Hood unmasked, how do you know they look similar?”
You shrug. “They just do. There’s just something about him. I haven’t been able to shake the feeling for a while.”
It’s silent again for several long moments.
Then Bruce shakes his head absentmindedly.
“Jason is dead, Y/n. No matter how much we miss him, he can’t come back.”
But he’s wrong, he has to be.
Because no one is that similar to someone. You’re sure of it.
……
Your cheeks are wet and your eyes are starting to become raw from you rubbing at them.
Sobbing pathetically on the rooftop of the manor because you had to be reminded about a death that happened a long time ago is not the highlight of your day.
It’s stupid, going from sure of yourself, to telling yourself you’re so stupid for ever thinking it could be true in the first place.
There’s footsteps beside you, but you don’t look up. You don’t care enough to see who it is.
You fidget with the necklace around your neck as you sniffle into your knees.
Something clicks and then hisses as if air pressure is being released before you hear a tiny thud, and then someone pulls you into them.
You know who it is now.
“What’s wrong?” He asks quietly. You know you could look up and confirm your suspicions at any moment but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.
It’s not true, after all, because it can’t be. It’s not possible.
You shrug against him. “I’m reopening old wounds for no reason.” You pause. “Why do you trust me?”
He’s silent, contemplative for a while. “You’re you.”
You laugh dryly. “That doesn’t explain anything.”
“You haven’t even bothered to look have you?” His hand strokes lines in your hair. “You could. I don’t think I’d mind.”
“I don’t want to know.” You say, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I’m not ready for that.”
He nods, you can feel the movement through his body, even though it’s subtle.
You sit, wrapped up in his arms for a long while before he clears his throat softly and asks, “what old wounds have you been reopening?”
Your eyes well again, but you choke back the tears. “An old… friend, I guess. He died.” You start to pull back but you don’t look at his face.
Instead, you bury your face in your hands again. He lets you pull back. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
You shrug. “It was a long time ago, he just meant a lot to me— and it’s really hard because you remind me so much of him.”
He makes a sort of strangled sound and then clears his throat again but more rough this time. “Why do you say that?”
His voice sounds even more similar without the helmet and voice changer. This man is going to be the death of you. Maybe literally. “I don’t… I don’t know. It’s just everything.” You shake your head and laugh sardonically. “It’s driving me insane.”
“How did he die?” His voice is darker than before, and there’s a sort of undertone you can’t place.
“Brutally.” You stop, take a deep breath, and offer only a bit more context. “The Joker.”
He hums. “The Joker‘s alive and ruling this dumb city.” He pauses. “How do you think your friend would feel about that?”
“Probably about the same as I do. Sick.” You run a hand through your hair, purposefully trying to avoid seeing his face. “That’s why I became a hero, you know. I wanted to kill the joker because he killed Ja- um, my friend.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“People stopped me before I did something I couldn’t come back from.” You say, wrapping your arms around your legs. “I hope the joker suffers a terrible death, but I don’t think it should be by my hands. He wins if I spend the rest of my existence regretting it.”
Red Hood picks up his helmet and clicks it back on. “Right.” He stands and stares down at you. “I have to leave now.”
You shudder at his sudden coldness, and stand abruptly. “Okay, I— um, goodbye…?” You want to smack yourself at how unsure you sound. “Did I say something wrong?”
He shakes his head. “I just don’t know why you would ever regret ridding the world of someone like The Joker, that’s all.”
Stiffly, you nod and wipe your hands on your pants.
“Sorry about your friend.” He finishes, before leaving you alone on the roof again. “Too bad I didn’t know him.”
Basically, crushing any hopes you might’ve had that he was Jason.
……
This is an atrociously stupid idea, you know; driving directly into the den of Gotham's biggest drug lord is the smartest thing to do.
But Gotham's biggest drug lord is Red Hood, and you’re fairly sure he won’t hurt you. Mostly.
His lackeys though, don’t seem so forgiving.
“Who the hell are you?” The man who barks the question at you, is raggedy looking and has the worst, most distasteful tattoos you’ve seen in your life.
“I’m here to see Red Hood.” You amend quickly, ��I’m a friend of his.”
“Yeah, right.” The other guard says, a bulky looking woman who is also insanely beautiful… unsettlingly so. “A fragile little thing like you, friends with our boss… please.”
You scoff. “Trust me, I’m not fragile.” Stopping, you contemplate whether it’s a good idea to start something, considering your ankle is still healing. “Just call him.”
She rolls her eyes. “Fine, whatever.”
An old phone hangs on the wall and she picks up the receiver and quickly dials a number. “Hey, I have a woman here who says she’s the bosses friend— her name? I have no clue— Oi, what’s your name?” The woman barks at you.
“Y/n.”
“Her name’s Y/n.” She’s silent for a minute while we all wait, then she hangs up the phone aggressively and yanks your arm into her grip. “Lucky. Let’s go.”
The corridors are a bit confusing to navigate, but you’re mostly just following the woman, who seems very familiar with them.
After ten minutes you reach a door, it matches almost every other door, but it has ‘boss’ written crudely on it in spray paint.
“You’re on your own from here.” She says gruffly before stomping away.
You take a moment to collect yourself before you knock, and the door swings open before you can even finish knocking.
“Why are you here?” Red Hood sounds breathless behind his mask, as if something winded him. “How did you remember how to get here?”
“I’m… actually not sure.” You chuckle quietly to yourself as Red Hood pulls you inside.
He sits down at a desk after pulling a chair out for you to sit in. “Again, why are you here?”
Your heart seizes for a moment as if the reason why you’re here hit you all over again. “I want you to show me who you are.”
“Are you sure?” Red Hood questions slowly, his body locking up. “You’re not going to like it.”
You nod curtly. “Yes, I need to know.”
He takes a deep breath and stands up, coming right up close to you. Far enough that you could see his face clearly but close enough to have your knees buckling.
He reaches up and presses a button you can’t see. The helmet hisses and opens, he pulls it off.
And your jaw drops.
Standing there, in grown up glory, black hair, green eyes that used to kill you, is Jason Fucking Todd.
“You’re— You’re not— dead.” You stammer, almost reaching out to touch him before you yank your hand back.
You’re so irrationally angry and also relieved and devastated all at the same time.
Jason sets the helmet down. You can’t decide whether to hug him and never let go or slap him for waiting so long to tell you. “That’s a… complicated story.” He pauses. “I promise I’ll tell you that story but I just— can’t get into that right now.”
You nod slowly. “Okay… that means I can get fucking pissed now.”
You’ve clearly confused him when you wrap your hands around his waist and squeeze tightly while also cursing him out. “I can’t believe you waited this long to show me.”
You can see the smart-ass comment on the tip of his tongue but he bites it back. “I knew you’d find out eventually.” His eyes caress your body and there’s a look of longing lingering in his eyes; he seems to be contemplating something. “Fuck it, I’ve been waiting too long to do this.”
You barely have time to react as Jason lowers his face down to yours and kisses you; As soon as you realize what he’s doing, you kiss back.
His hands go to rest on your hips, as you slowly get pushed back into his desk behind you. When you hit the ledge of if, Jason lifts you onto its surface, and pulls back.
“I’ve wanted to do that since we were kids.” He says quietly.
You gently touch your lips, almost in disbelief. “I’ve been wanting you to do that since we were kids.”
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All content belongs to @beingsuneone , do not repost, copy or post on other platforms without my permission.
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munsonsmixtapes · 7 months ago
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Hello my favorite writer!!!
I have a story request.. if you don't want to do it that's okay.. it was a dream a few nights ago and I can't get it out of my head.. but I suck at writing..
Older Eddie.. and younger reader.. like early 40s/mid/late 20s(Again, if it's uncomfortable for you write however you would like..) But reader finds out she is pregnant she is terrified to tell Eddie.. but he's like F. Yeah I still got it or something.. Prompt 33 and 40
Would love NSFW even as like a flashback.. or him being obsessed that she's pregnant.. 😱😅
(Tbh I think I'm just ovulating.. and that man has me absolutely feral haha)
Hello, my lovely! Thank you so much for the request! Tbh I eat this kind of shit up so this was so fun to write!
older!Eddie x fem!reader
cw: reader is 25 and Eddie is 40, mention of pregnancy, hurt/comfort
Prompts used: 33. “Why have you been ignoring me?” and 40. “What’s on your mind?”
This is a continuation of my older!Eddie series!
You stared down at the pregnancy test in your hands, the two pink lines staring back at you. You couldn’t believe it. You were pregnant. You and Eddie hadn’t even been together for very long and you weren’t exactly sure what he was going to say when you told him. If you were going to tell him. You just couldn’t bear to lose him after only having him for a few months.
You figured that you had been pregnant when you missed your period since it always came right on schedule and had been avoiding Eddie ever since. You knew that it wasn’t very nice to do, but you were panicking and that seemed like the only logical option.
Your heart hammered in your chest as you heard your bedroom door open. You quickly hid the test behind your back in a panic, knowing that Eddie would have been able to see it if he looked hard enough.
Eddie entered your bathroom and you tried your best to put on a smile that he quickly saw through. He looked upset, angry even. You supposed it was what you deserved for ghosting him like that. In your head, he had every right to be upset with you.
“Why have you been ignoring me?” He reached for you, resting his hands on your shoulders, giving them a squeeze. God, got missed his touch.
“I haven’t.” Why you thought you could lie to him, you didn’t know. He was always able to find out the truth when you did.
“Lovebug, I live next door. It’s pretty hard to ignore me unless it’s on purpose.” You knew he was right. He always was even if he’d let you be sometimes just to make you feel better.
“I’ve just been busy, Eddie.” That wasn’t technically a lie. Things at your job had been picking up so you had been leaving home earlier and coming back later so Eddie and you had been on completely opposite schedules. But that didn’t stop him from trying to see you.
“Right, busy not wanting to talk to me, hm? What’s on your mind, bug?” His hands rubbed up and down your arms as way to bring you comfort and you felt the test getting heavier in your hands as he tried to get the truth out of you.
“It’s nothing.” You shook your head, but Eddie wasn’t buying it. You were a terrible liar.
“Clearly it’s something if you haven’t wanted to see me. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” Of course you knew that. Eddie was the person you trusted most so you didn’t know why you were so afraid to tell him the truth.
Trying to keep your secret was weighing on you and the guilt was eating you alive. You let it get the best of you and slammed the pregnancy test down on the counter where Eddie could see it.
“That’s why I’ve been avoiding you. Happy?” You stepped away from him and crossed your arms over your chest.
Eddie pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and took the test, holding it close to his face to see the results. Once he could read it, he let out a gasp and accidentally dropped the thing, letting it clatter to the floor as he took you into his arms.
“Of course I’m happy!” He exclaimed. “You’re pregnant. And I want you to know that whatever you decide to do, I fully support you.”
“I want to keep it. And I want you to help me raise it, but not if you don’t want to.” You didn’t want him to feel obligated even though you really wanted him by your side throughout the child’s life.
You could just picture it; him putting together crib, reading stories to your stomach, holding your hand while you were giving birth, and tears welling up in his eyes as he held the baby for the first time. In your head, that sounded like the perfect life.
“Of course I want to. This is the happiest day of my life, bug.” His eyes were getting misty and you wiped his tears away before your own started rolling down your cheeks.
“It is?” Your face lit up. Your fantasy was actually going to come true.
“Of course it is!” He picked you up and spun you around as giggles escaped your lips. “The woman I love is having a baby.”
“You love me?” You figured as such, but hearing the words was much different than assuming. God, he loved you. You really couldn’t have asked for a more perfect boyfriend.
“Of course I love you, lovey.” He pressed a lingering kiss to your lips.
“I love you too,” you replied, pulling him in for another kiss.
“And I love you,” he rested a hand on your stomach before dropping to his knees. He lifted your shirt and pressed multiple kisses to his as you let out multiple giggles as the feeling of his soft lips tickling your skin.
“C’mon, hon,” he took you by the hand. “Let’s go call Wayne. He’s not going to believe it.” Eddie dragged you into your room and sat on the bed before taking the phone and calling Eddie’s uncle to give him the very good news.
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annievrse · 1 year ago
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it's a bad idea, right?
eren x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic summary: seeing your ex after a night out… it’s a bad idea, right? cw: 18+, smut (afab!reader, unprotected sex, creampie), exes to lovers, swearing. w/c: 4.5k a/n: first time writing a ~proper~ smut, kinda bad, kinda fucking terrified to post but, we move 💪 olivia's new song is perfect for an exes to lovers whore such as myself, so i had to use it in a fic. enjoy :)
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Despite having the same friends, you hadn’t seen or heard from your ex for 2 months. The break-up was mutual, something about growing apart and wanting different things. Sure, you were upset, devastated even, but something inside you that knew you’d hold him again. And somehow, that one sliver of hope had wrapped around your heart and held it hostage. 
It’s how you found yourself at Moose with your two friends, Hitch and Annie, on the brink of passing out. The club’s multicoloured lights gave you a headache, and the generous amount of alcohol you had consumed an hour earlier started to wear off, but you continued to dance, laugh, and sing with the two girls. 
You held your phone in your hand as you threw your arms in the air. The room was lively and had been the best night you’d had at Moose in the past few months (or maybe it was because you knew who would call you tonight…). 
But when Hitch slapped you on the arm, and the phone in your hand started vibrating simultaneously, you had an inkling of who was calling.
“Don’t answer it,” Hitch yelled over the music, her eyes narrowed. 
You shrugged and, without looking, declined the call. “Who was it?”
“Don’t act dumb,” She shook her head, still jumping around. 
You rolled your lips between your teeth, and your heart started pounding faster. There was only one person who could elicit that tone from Hitch. 
You kept a playful smile on your face, and it remained when your phone rang again. But, this time, you faced the screen toward your body so the girls wouldn’t see. 
Eren’s name flashed on the screen, along with his contact photo: him with bedhead, shirtless, with the biggest smile on his face. Why his contact was still in your phone, with that specific photo, was beyond you, but all questions were out of your head when you turned around and left the dance floor without explanation. 
Swiping right to answer, you brought your phone to your ear. “What?” It probably wasn’t the most polite thing to say, but you were half-drunk, and your feet hurt. 
“Hi to you too, baby.” 
The tone of his voice sent shivers down your spine. It was the first time you’d heard his voice in months. 
“Eren,” You said, squeezing through groups to get to the bar. “Are you okay?” 
“I’m great, actually, now that I’m talking to you.”  
You could hear the smirk in his voice over the music, and that’s when you could tell you were in trouble. “What’s up?” 
He hummed into the receiver, but you could barely catch it. “Wanna come over tonight?” 
“Why?” You asked, but it was playful. 
“I got a new place. Wanna give you a tour.” 
“Do you? Well, where was this call, I don’t know, a month ago?” 
Eren groaned into his phone. “Just come! Please, I miss you.” 
You paused as you were adjusting your spot on the bar stool. “You want me to come over?” 
“Do you want to come over?” 
“Yes,” Your voice was breathless as you answered, and Eren’s soft laughter in the background wasn’t helping. “As friends.” 
“Okay, yeah. I’ll text you the address, bestie,” He said. “Can’t wait to see you.” 
And then he hung up. You knew what he wanted because you wanted it too. 
Flashes of Eren played on a loop in your head: the last time you saw him, the first time, him smiling at you in that cocky way of his, his body on top of yours, his under yours… it was insanity.
“Why’d you leave?” Hitch shouted in your ear. You jumped, a guilty look on your face that you hoped she and Annie wouldn’t notice. 
“I feel sick. I think I might go home,” You cringed at how the words came out of your mouth. 
And when Annie side-eyed Hitch, you knew they knew you were lying. 
“I’ll just get an Uber,” You unlocked your phone and clicked on the app, receiving a text from Eren simultaneously. 
How convenient. 
Typing in 843 Campanula Street, CS Apartments, you knew you should stop, but you couldn’t. A car popped up: 5 minutes away. 
Getting up to leave, you knew they would follow you outside. So, you held Hitch’s hand and pulled her, who pulled Annie out of the crowd and out of the entrance. You adjusted your purse on your shoulder and stepped out into the warm night air. 
“You should probably not see Eren tonight. You’re not in the right headspace,” Hitch said behind you. She knew you were lying about feeling sick, so you may as well play into it.
“Can’t two people reconnect?” You teased, glancing over your shoulder. 
“Bullshit,” Annie stated boredly. 
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
“Listen, I only see him as a friend,” You rolled your eyes. “We’re done, we’re through, we’re never ever getting back together, okay?” 
Hitch and Annie shared a look. You’d just told the biggest lie you’ve ever said. 
“What’s the worst that could happen?” You looked down the road for your Uber.
Then Hitch choked out a laugh and Annie sighed. You furrowed your eyebrows. 
“We just don’t want you to get hurt again,” Hitch said softly after she finished coughing. 
You shook your head. “I won’t. Besides, I’m going straight home. I’ll ask him what’s up in the morning.” 
Hitch nodded knowingly. “Yeah, okay. Have fun at home. Text us when you get there.” 
Your Uber pulled up next to the curb. You smiled at Hitch and wrapped your arms around her neck. “See you.”
Turning toward Annie, you only grinned, making her look more bored. “Don’t be an idiot.” 
You threw your hands up in defence. “I’m not. I’m going home.”
“Bye then,” Annie waved and turned to reenter the club. Hitch stayed a little longer to ensure the Uber left, waving enthusiastically after it. 
You knew you should stop, but you couldn’t. 
Fuck it, it’s fine. 
When the elevator dinged, you stepped out onto the second floor. It was a nice complex with white walls, gold door handles, and dark, clean carpet, an upgrade from his previous apartment complex just off-campus. 
The floor was quiet for a Saturday night, except for the bass from party music coming from the lower floor. The carpet was plush under your feet, and the hanging lights were gold too. Maybe you were more tipsy than you thought as you picked out details you would’ve before. 
You saw nobody as you passed the first apartments. But, as you turned the corner of the hallway, Eren was standing in the doorway of the last apartment with a cocky grin. 
“Hey,” he called. You looked around and hushed him. It was 1am, after all. “Pish, they’re probably all out anyway.”
You felt your face heat up when you got closer, feeling self-conscious in your party dress and shoeless feet. But you couldn’t stop looking at him. Somehow, in the last 2 months, Eren had gotten more attractive. His black t-shirt was taut against his chest and biceps. His hair was pulled back into its usual half-bun, but the pieces in the front made him look prettier. You swore you’d seen someone much hotter for your sanity, but nobody came to mind. God, he really encapsulated everything you’d ever want and need. 
“Seeing you tonight… It’s a bad idea, right?” You giggled, swinging your heels in your hand. 
“I’d say it’s the best idea ever, but depends on who you ask,” His eyes raked up your body as you walked toward him. “Besides, just friends, right?”
The dimple you’d missed appeared on his cheek as he smirked, and your confidence grew. 
“We’re the best of friends,” At the sound of your voice so low and sultry, Eren blinked. 
His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and when you reached him, his hands wrapped around your shoulders, pulling your cheek flush against his chest. The action didn’t surprise you because you would do the same. 
“Hi,” He whispered before pushing you away, his hands still on your shoulders.
You were going to speak, but your brain short-circuited. The rational side of your brain continuously asked you why, why, why, while the other side screamed at you to kiss him. It was a jumble of static and blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 
All you could think about was him. 
Fuck it, it’s fine!
“Wanna show me,” You paused, flickering your eyes to his. The usual bright green of his eyes turned darker, and his grip on your shoulders tightened—his hands were burning your skin. “The apartment?” 
This seemed to snap Eren out of his daze because he shook his head to rid his thoughts, then nodded, stepping back and widening the door to welcome you. 
“Uh, yeah, so…” Eren stumbled, closing the door behind him. “This is the apartment.” 
You walked inside, placing your purse on the granite kitchen counter and your heels on the floor. 
“It’s lovely,” You muttered. From the couch to the posters and photos on the walls, it was so Eren, but it was mature. And it was lovely, different, attractive, but your attention wasn’t on the decor. It was on the owner of said decor, but you weren’t going to make that obvious yet. 
Eren rubbed the back of his neck as he watched you look around the space: into the open-plan living room, down the small hallway to the bathroom and the spare bedroom, and then back into the kitchen and to the lone door on the other side of the living room. 
“Your bedroom?” You asked, your voice light. You weren’t giving anything away yet. It was risky being here in the first place. There were reasons why you broke up, but you didn’t care at that moment. This was more fun than ignoring each other. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Eren teased, breaking out of his frozen state to meet you at the door. 
The air was charged like it used to be, but you dismissed it, making a beeline for the couch—a large L-shaped black leather lounge. As soon as you sat down, all the aching in your back dissipated as you sunk deeper into the throw cushions. You groaned in relaxation, propping your feet up.
“Why do you always get the comfiest couches?” You closed your eyes. “S’not fair.” 
Eren didn’t say anything as you shuffled around to get comfortable, pulling the hem of your dress down your legs. He looked at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. 01:47.
“You tired, hm?” He asked, and you nodded, pretending to yawn. Eren narrowed his eyes when you did so. He’d seen that action before, the lesser version of your actual yawn—he’d seen the real one too many times to know when you were faking. 
“Guess I’ll take you home then.” 
Your eyes snapped open, and you shook your head. But when you saw Eren, a cocky smirk rested on his face, much like when you arrived. 
“I knew you were faking,” He laughed, stalking toward you. You pouted and looked up at him, your gaze catching his for a second before you looked away. 
“A more detailed tour, please,” You reached out your hand, and Eren pulled you up. 
The momentary touch of skin on skin was enough to fry your brain for a few minutes as you mechanically followed him into the bathroom, where you washed your face with his face wash, then into the spare bedroom to look at the view from the window, and finally, into Eren’s bedroom off the living room. 
Nothing was said as you entered, but the smell of his room was the same as it had always been—it was just in a different space without you to experience it. Cedar, geranium, bergamot, apple. It was the scent you bought him for his 19th birthday 4 years ago when you first started dating. You were stepping into a time machine, and all the emotions that came with it hit you in the face. 
You willed yourself not to cry as you turned your back to him to look over his desk. You ignored the few extra things he’d gathered without you in the two months you’d be apart, but it was all the same. It was Eren. 
“You like it?” He mumbled, the heat on your back making sense. You didn’t realise how close he was standing until he spoke, his hands on the desk beside you, caging you in. 
“It’s very you, Ren. The whole thing,” You spun around, your hips against his. “I really like it.” 
He smiled in relief and let his eyes wander your expression, recounting every mark, pore, scar on your face that he had memorised. It was all the same. You were still you. 
“I’m glad,” He breathed. “Thanks, bestie.” 
But you didn’t laugh. Your eyes were focused on his mouth. The realisation made Eren lick his lips again, but you noticed they twitched with anticipation this time. 
“This okay?” You whispered, slowly wounding your arms around his neck and pushing your hips harder against his. 
“You’re kidding, right?” He smirked, gaining his confidence back. His hands slid from the desk to your hips, and he leaned closer, breaths mixing, lips lingering. “I missed you so fucking much.” 
Eren’s lips brushed yours as he spoke. And you almost caved. Your fingers played with the loose hairs of his half-bun, and the action reminded you that you’d done this before, more than you could count—but never in the situation you were in right then. 
“Fuck it.” 
You don’t know who made the first move, but soon Eren was swiping everything off his desk and onto the floor so he could lift you onto his desk. You spread your legs apart and locked your ankles around his hips, pulling him closer. The kisses were sloppy and hasty, making up for lost time. You smiled when he began pushing the hem of your dress higher, his teeth tapping yours as he grinned too. 
Panting into each other’s mouths, you slid your hands down his chest and into the waistband of his sweatpants. 
“I want these off,” You mumbled, getting your nails under his briefs and pulling them down with his pants.
“Well, I want this off,” Eren laughed, reaching behind you to fiddle with the zipper on the back. The sudden exposure of your back to the hot air of his bedroom sent goosebumps over your skin. 
The front of your dress began to loosen, and soon, Eren pulled away from you, his hands carefully dragging the straps of your dress down your arms. His sweats were halfway down his legs, and his briefs sat awkwardly over his ass, but he couldn’t care less, not when you looked the way you did. 
The more you reflect on that night, the more you disagree. The thought of being in a club not an hour ago left you feeling gross and probably smelling gross too. But at that moment, you didn’t care because you were with him, in his new room and apartment, and all you could think about was him.
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 
Eren laughed breathlessly at the sight of your tits, and when your dress was at your waist, he cupped them with his palms. “Fuck, I missed you.” 
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 
When Eren leaned down to press kisses to your neck, you reached your hands to play with his hair again. “I… missed you… too.”
“Tell me what you want,” He breathed heavily into the space under your ear when he heard you struggle around the words. 
You whined in response, tilting your head back.
He laughed lowly. “I know you know how to use your words, pretty girl.” 
The pet name caused a moan to escape your throat, and soon you were clenching around nothing. Your mind was far away, head in the clouds, from being with him like this again. “You…” 
“Where?” He pulled away from your neck, his lips plump. “Where do you want me?” 
“Eren…” You frowned, eyes half-lidded as you looked at him. Eren’s eyes retraced your expression, his hands brushing stray strands from your face. 
A cheeky grin spread across his cheeks. “You’re so damn cute.” 
“Everywhere,” You finalised, leaning up to capture his lips with yours. 
Eren got the message and wrapped his large hands under your thighs to pick you up. Your legs remained around him as he expertly approached the bed without looking. 
“Gotten a lot of practice at that?” You joked, breathless. 
But, Eren shook his head and kissed your cheek. “There’s only ever been you.” 
The thought brought heat to your ears, cheeks, and body, and soon, you were burning. “Me too.” 
“Fuck,” He half-laughed, half-groaned, laying you on the bed. Eren gave you a crazy grin before he opened his mouth, biting your shoulder. You tried to push him away, giggling, but you never forgot his strength. He went down your body, pulling your dress down your legs as he went, leaving open-mouthed kisses on your stomach. Gripping the sheets, you arched, keening into him, chasing the buzz of his lips and the feverish marks they leave. But before he reached your underwear, he sat back his heels and pulled his shirt over his head by the back collar—like he always did. 
There was nothing to be shy about, you’d done this a thousand times with him, but you placed a hand on your torso nonetheless. When Eren noticed this, he furrowed his eyebrows. 
“Nuh, uh, no being shy around me,” he whispered and picked your hand up, holding it as he leaned over you. You quickly spread your legs to make room for him between them, and he wasted no time filling the space, tucking his other arm underneath your shoulders and lifting you up so your chests were flush. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and will ever see, understand? Us not being together doesn’t change that.” 
You sighed, tears springing in the corners of your eyes. Maybe it was the moment or the weeks of not speaking to the one man you trusted with your life, but you couldn’t help the words that tumbled out next. 
“I love you,” You mumbled, lifting your free hand up to fun through his hair, pulling the rest out of the bun. 
Eren smiled a tender smile you knew all too well, which he reserved for you during moments like this. “And I love you. I’m gonna show you how much, okay? Will you let me do that?” Eren’s voice was soft and warm, your skin ablaze, and your heart grew tenfold. 
You nodded, searching his eyes with your own. All you saw was tenderness, infatuation, and everything you had grown accustomed to in the last 4 years. You pressed your lips against him in a quick peck in response to his original question. 
Eren laid your body back onto the bed, trailing his hand down your side and into your underwear. You gasped at the coldness of his fingers as they dragged through your slit. 
“So wet, baby,” Two of his fingers started rubbing circles around your clit, making you arch into him. “Miss me?” 
“I thought we’d already established that, Jaeger… shit,” You squeezed your eyes shut when he pushed two fingers into you. 
“Don’t get sassy with me. You know how that goes,” Eren smirked, watching you fall apart from just his fingers. 
“Eren, don’t—oh fuck,” You moaned as soon as you felt his fingers go precisely where they needed to, his thumb on your clit. He knew you inside out, and you knew he was getting off on that thought. 
Pure white pleasure set fire to your insides as you climaxed, though the embarrassment of cumming so hard on just his fingers never came. Because it always ended like this. 
You looked down at your hips, where his hand was inside your underwear, and nearly blacked out from the sheer familiarity of your first time with him. “Take those off right now. We are not repeating our first time.” 
Eren barked a laugh, shaking his head as he pulled them down your legs. “I thought it’d be cute,” He mumbled. 
“Get up here,” You scolded, but the demand was lazy and playful, making Eren want you more (if possible).
He climbed up your body again, his pants and briefs on the floor, as his cock rested against your stomach when he kissed you. There was no time to be wasted, not when you’d waited months for this to feel him again. You always knew you would hold him again. 
Eren sat up, and you wrapped your hand around his cock, lazily pumping him a few times. He was hot and heavy in your fist, and the feeling was delicious. “I haven’t even touched you yet,” You giggled. 
His eyes found your core, where you were dripping onto his dark sheets and clenching nothing, and the sight made Eren moan and screw his eyes closed. “It’s just you… fuck Y/n.” 
And then you took your hand off him, and Eren’s jaw fell open, looking down at you.
“C’mon,” He whined, and you shook your head, laying back on his bed. 
“Fuck me, Eren.” 
At your crude words, Eren bit his bottom lip to stop his smile. “Yes, ma’am.” 
He hovered over you, his hair brushing your cheeks as he looked down to guide himself into you. He ran his cock through your folds a few times, causing you to jolt, before he sunk the tip into you. 
The stretch was like coming home after a long time away, burning with slight pain before the pleasure took over. You welcomed him back into you. Circling your arms around his neck, you buried your hands in his dark locks, pulling the way you knew he loved. 
“Jesus,” Eren cursed lowly when he bottomed out; the sensation of you around him was one he’d never forget. “You good?” 
“Yeah, baby,” You squeezed his sides with your knees, dragging your nails softly along his scalp. He didn’t move for a beat, eyes trained on your nose's scrunch and relieved smile. 
“Good girl,” He whispered, pecking your lips as he rocked in and out of you. Your hands pulled at his hair harder than before, and he groaned into your lips, your mouths touching but not kissing. “You’re so tight, fuck.”
And when he picked up his pace, you cried out into his mouth, the feeling and sound of his body on top of yours familiar and obscene. Above you, Eren made the pretty sounds you’d once begged to hear again. And soon, perhaps too soon, your stomach twisted into a coil again, his thrusts becoming too much when he continually hit that one spot like he always did. His voice became rough and desperate, panting your name before the volume increased. 
Words tumbled out of his mouth sloppily, curses and jumbled questions, and your name. His usual deep groans turned to whimpers, and the sound made you reach your high faster. 
“Close?’” Eren asked, running a hand down your body to find your clit, fingers slippery as they circled quick. 
“Mmhm, yeah,” You mumbled, nodding sporadically and arching your body to mould to his, his name falling from your lips like a prayer. 
And then, the coil in your stomach snapped, and the white-hot flash that burned you from inside set you ablaze. Your body opened up for him, and Eren chased to meet you at the top, his movements becoming sloppy as he fucked you through your high. You’re too sensitive, warm, and wet, but Eren came inside, filling you fully.
He groaned deep into your ear, shuddering, and at that moment, you vowed to never let him go again.
After your activities last night, Eren gave you his favourite t-shirt and wrapped you up nice and tight in his sheets. You kissed him repeatedly, making promises under the blanket of night, the moon your witness. Never again would you leave, not when you knew him like you did, when you’d spent four years of your life moulding to each other. You cried, Eren cried, you laughed, he held you, you flicked his forehead, he tickled you. It was like you’d never said the words that caused the downward spiral of your life in the first place. 
Reaching over to grab your phone off the bedside table, your notifications were filled with messages on messages from your group chat with Hitch and Annie, and… Reiner?
07:24 Hitch: Where are you?????? Answer pls!!!!
07:59 Annie: Y/n istg 
08:50 You: Sorry I was asleep
08:50 Hitch: Thank god 
08:51 Hitch: We’re gonna facetime rn 
You groaned and turned your head toward a sleeping Eren. His hair was all over the place, his face innocent and soft, his skin golden and back bare. He was all you could ever want and more.
You slowly lifted the charcoal grey duvet to swing your legs out and sat up. Your entire body ached, and your legs shook as you stood up. Stifling a laugh of embarrassment, you tiptoed out of his room, careful of the one creaking floorboard he’d warned you about the night before.
It wasn’t until you got to the living room that your phone vibrated with an incoming group Facetime. 
“Hi,” You said tiredly, trying to block as much background as possible; they knew your apartment better than you did. 
“Good morning,” Hitch glared through the screen. Annie said nothing. 
“What happened to your neck? Hm?” The brunette asked, her voice accusatory. 
You moved toward the couch, sitting on the lush black leather, tucking a pillow behind your back. “Oh, I tripped and fell—”
“Yeah, into Eren’s bed,” Annie cut you off. 
Hitch muffled a laugh, and you stared at her in disbelief. 
Your mouth opened and closed with no sound. “No?” You visibly cringed when the usual statement came out as a question. 
“Y/n!” Hitch yelled, a smile taking over her false scold. Annie rolled her eyes with a hint of a smirk. Then, all that could be heard was laughter. 
“Well, at least you’re okay. I mean, it’s just Eren,” Hitch giggled. You smiled at her, grateful for your friends. 
“Oh! Reiner texted me too,” You suddenly remembered seeing his name on your lock screen. 
“Reiner?” The confusion in Hitch’s voice matched the thoughts in your mind. Why would Reiner text you privately?
You clicked around your phone until you opened Reiner’s message. 
02:49 Reiner: i’m happy for u and all, but pls stfu
But you couldn't find it in yourself to care, even after the realisation that all your friends knew you'd slept together washed over you. Because all you cared about was him.
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
a/n: prologue
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grzybjek · 3 months ago
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the famous "Migawka" WIP word doc
Hello, hi, good evening. If youre following me for some time now you might know that for a year now ive been trying to write a book about my characters that i draw often. I gave up about 9 months ago due to school, stress and my graduation. During that time my idea for the whole story changed and my interests have shifted- and if not my pure curiosity a few days ago, the whole 40-something word doc I wrote would never be seen by anyone besides me.
While writing my newest project I opened my word doc just to see how I used to write a few years back and I realized that, well, its not as bad as I made it out to be. I was so terrified to share it even with my friends, and now i know there was nothing to be so afraid of. I think some parts of the story are worth sharing since its a insight into my ocs' universe. Unfortunately, the whole doc is in polish only. So ill just switch to writing in polish.
Obecnie chcę, aby mój projekt "Migawki' był znowu o czymś trochę innym- nie żałuję pisania tych czterdziestu stron, bo nauczyło mnie to, że chyba jednak wolę mieszać pisanie ze sztuką. Mój nowy pomysł pewnie ukaże się w formie komiksu, bloga, czegokolwiek, co ma w sobie rysunek. Nie chcę jednak, aby to, co zrobiłem, poszło do kosza. Uciąłem więc około. 20 stron, poukładałem te najlepsze i najbardziej personalne, a tutaj jest słynny word doc, który na potrzeby tumblr musiałem przeformatować w google doc:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K4X3tAHqPfnpM99h3cEjnW_QAdpFHMuI8b6su0_NiEc/edit?usp=sharing
Zanim jednak ktokolwiek go dotknie, chcę trochę zaprezentować lore postaci, o których w ogóle pisałem.
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Bianka, Antek i Gabriel byli moimi oczkami w głowie przez cały rok 2023. Historia miała wtedy opierać się na Gabrysiu, który był fotografem, ale takim zagubionym i żyjącym ciągle wydarzeniami z przeszłości, że w końcu nauczył się manipulować czasem. W word docu są dwa rozdziały poświęcone właśnie temu, miały to w ogóle być dwa pierwsze rozdziały całej powieści. W końcu dropnąłem ten pomysł i uznałem, że chyba nie chcę bawić się w nadprzyrodzone zjawiska- a najwyżej nie w tym projekcie(hehe). Nie będę jednak rozpisywać się nad fabułą bo z perspektywy czasu jest to zwykłe coming of age story z smaczkiem polskich bloków i szarej jesieni. Zalinkuje za to tablice na pintereście so you get the vibe
https://pl.pinterest.com/meooooooooowwwww/~/
Za to rozdział z imprezy, który pojawia się na samym początku word docu, nawiązuje do tego rysunku z marca 2023!
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fuckass drawing ale przez ten rysunek chociaż pamiętam, kiedy napisałem ten rozdział. Jest to chyba w ogóle pierwszy rozdział jaki kiedykolwiek napisałem.
Reszta rozdziałów to jakieś urywki, krótkie sceny, które chyba mają sens bez tłumaczenia. Daję je tam, aby mogły zaprezentować nastrój całego projektu. A najwyżej to, co starałem się osiągnąć poprzez pisanie ich. Pojawiają się w nich takie postacie jak Helena i Nastka, czyli;
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Również w moich poprzednich postów. Moje bibunie.
Następnym razem kiedy będę wstawiać cokolwiek związanego z tymi postaciami, będą one w projekcie pod inną nazwą. Nie wiem jeszcze jaką, w sumie lubię tą, ale chcę oddzielić je od tego co napisałem w trzeciej klasie liceum. Nie zostawię tej historii tak o, bo jest ona dla mnie ważna i mam nadzieję, że poprzez wstawienie tych 20 stron przełamię się, aby częściej wstawiać rzeczy, które nie są tylko rysunkami. No i mam nadzieję, że komuś się to spodoba. Peace!<3
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fuyuu-chan · 1 year ago
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Only a Genius could Love a Woman like Her
Pairing: Ron Kamonohashi x Detective!Reader
Sypnosis: (Name) being one of the top detectives, everyone admire her and had a lot of fans, including Totomaru, but then Toto thinks, who would be the most genius? Is it Ron or (Name)? Well you might find out if they were in the same case...
Warning: mention of body, murder, serial killer (idk if this should be added but just in case 👍)
Fuyuu-chan: My first time writing a detective fic so yeah, also a big thank you to @mayaree-darling for being my proofreader and for helping me 💙 (love you mwah). Anyways enjoy reading! 😚
✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧
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(Name) is one of the top detectives out there, known for being very intelligent. A lot of people had been talking about her mostly because she had solved a lot of cases.
She's also a person you can trust, very friendly as well. All of the people in her investigation squad are her friends. She’s even close with other investigation team members, like Isshiki Totomaru.
Totomaru actually wondered who is the most intelligent - is it you or Ron, his friend that he made a few months ago that was also intelligent and a former student in BLUE.
Well that might get answered today as there was a new case involving a serial killer again.
You bumped into Totomaru in the mall and ended up hanging out. He tells you that he wanted to introduce you to someone he was gonna meet up with when you heard someone scream and of course out of instinct you and him hurry to where the noise came from.
And there you saw a body on the ground and a saleslady, judging by her uniform. The saleslady was sitting on the ground, looking terrified. Who could blame her, the people around look just as afraid. Totomaru looks shocked but you remain unfazed about it, probably because you've seen so many bodies before that you've grown used to it.
You called the police and after that you glanced at the body, observed the surroundings. When you turn back to the body, a man was lying next to it. "What are you doing? And who are you? This is a restricted area," you said to the man, but he seems to be saying something to the corpse.
Then Totomaru came towards you. "Ah, sorry Miss (Name). This is my friend, Ron Komonohashi. He's an acquaintance of mine, and he always does that. He's also the person I wanted for you to meet, the one I've been talking about," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"I see...so that's him," you looked back at the man whose name is Ron. He got up and went towards you.
"You’re a detective right? You look pretty" he said as he smiled. "I've noticed a few details that might have happened here.”
"Oh? Well can I hear it? It might add on the details I've already taken note of," you said as you showed your notebook.
"Wait, you already took notes?" Ron asked.
"Of course," you said. "Also I believe this case is also part of the new serial killer based on how the victim died and that card next to the body, it's what that serial killer does whenever they strike again," you explained as you look at the body.
"As expected of the highly praised and famous detective," Totomaru smiled at you, his eyes shining with admiration.
"Although, I don't think you've gone near the body... how did you..?" Totomaru said, confused.
"Wait, she didn't go near the body?..." Ron said as he looked at Toto and back to you.
"I don't need to since I already saw everything I needed to see," you said as you shrugged. You never really needed to go near the body since you had sharp eyes; only needing to in complicated cases do you have to approach the body but most of the time you don't. It's one of the things your admirers admire about you.
"Sugoiii" Totomaru said, his eyes shining again. "So that's what all your fans have been talking about, I can finally see you in action during the investigation!" he added.
Ron was quiet the entire time, caught off guard. First, you were fast at taking notes about the details, second you didn't have to go near the body because of your sharp eyes and third, the fact that you already connected this case to the other, when most of the detectives he knew took a long time to realize these things. You were clearly different, you were fast and serious about your job.
Ron looked at you and analyzed you for a bit. You looked casual, friendly, approachable, but there is something about you that he can't put his fingers on, something he feels about you that he can’t place yet.
He was so busy thinking he didn't realize the police were already there. You were smiling for some reason. He realized he didn't investigate again, and got distracted by thinking of you. But then you spoke up saying you figured it out, making him even more shocked than before.
He listened as you explained and deduced the entire case. Finally, you point out the killer, which was the saleslady who "discovered" the body. You showed proof that she's the one who did it, only proven when she had one of the pieces of evidence on her.
As she was cornered by you she had no choice but to fall down to her knees and admit she was the one who murdered them all. You notice in your peripheral vision Totomaru leading Ron outside for safety purposes and for no accidents to happen again like any other case he'd been in.
After everything is solved and done you go outside to see the two of them talking.
"Ah, Miss (Name), is everything done?" Totomaru said as he looked at you.
"Yes," you answered.
"That's good to know...also, I'm sorry for not helping" he said as a sweat dropped.
You sighed. What had Amamiya done to this boy that he was sweating like this? Had she been scolding him that much? You thought to yourself as you waved him off.
"Nah it's good, I handled it anyways and besides it's your day off and this is my investigation squad area. No need to feel bad."
He sighed in relief, he thought you would scold him. "You're so nice, Miss (Name). Thank you," he said.
"No need to thank me... also, stop with the formalities. The job is over, anyways," you said as you finally looked at Ron only to meet his gaze already on you.
"Wanna have some coffee?" Ron asked.
"Hmmm? Well I guess I could use some coffee break, so sure," you said as you smiled.
Then the three of you set off to go to the nearest coffee shop. Once you all arrived you ordered your drinks and snacks and picked a seat in one corner. Ron breaks the silence "You were really good back there, I can't believe you solved that so easily."
You chuckled. "It was obvious, the girl already showed signs from the very beginning."
"She did?' they both asked at the same time.
"Yep," you said. Just in time, you hear the counter call the number for your order.
Totomaru said he would get the drinks so you and Ron were left alone. "Tell me, Ron, why were you so distracted earlier? I noticed you didn't get to solve it, either," you said.
"Huh..? What do you mean?" he said, caught off guard.
"You were looking around even while I was explaining the murder and the evidence, so it was pretty obvious,” you tap your fingers on the table. “But you’re probably wondering how I knew you were the one solving the cases when Totomaru “handles” the situation, right?”
Ron nodded. You turned to where Totomaru was and saw there was a line to get the order, so you looked back at Ron. "Don't tell it, Totomaru but knowing him, he wouldn't know how to solve difficult cases. When I heard what Chikori Monki the journalist told me about Totomaru’s attitude and reaction during the coffee shop case,it just confirmed it for me. Even Amamiya is surprised he gets to solve cases like that."
You looked back at where Totomaru is and back at Ron again. "And then I heard you were always with Totomaru in those cases, it clicked that you were the one solving those and telling it to him. I also heard you were a former student in BLUE, Totomaru mentioned meeting one of the professors there; well...late professor. You have my condolences," you continued.
Ron was silent the entire time, you know so much about him. "Did you research about me?" he asked.
“Not really. There was no need. I get all my information from stories Totomaru tells me, even if he leaves your name out of it. I heard your name a long time ago in BLUE, I just remembered recently. Finally, I heard from my friend Kawasemi about you and he just confirmed it for me when I told him.” you wave your phone around, showing your recent chat with the detective. Ron is stunned.
"That's a lot of information you have there," he said, chuckling nervously.
"Of course, I have to know things about the people I interact with," you said as you smiled innocently.
"Ah...wait...don't tell me you know about the-" he was about to ask when you cut him off.
"Oh, Totomaru is here... and to answer, yeah." you said as you looked at Ron and to Totomaru who was approaching with a tray in hand with all of your drinks and snacks.
Ron looked at Totomaru who set the tray down on the table. "Thank you for getting the order," you said as you grabbed your drink and snack.
"Thank you as well for treating us Mis- ah (name)" Totomaru said as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"You're welcome" you said as you took a sip of your drink.
"Wait..don't change the topic, how'd you know about that?" Ron said as he looked you in the eyes.
"Umm it's obvious? I notice a lot of things other people don’t, especially like earlier. Besides, when Totomaru tells me about his cases, or I hear the police talking about recent cases, I ask about details. And one thing the other police always mentioned was something happening at the end of a case: when the killer is found, a man would pressure them, but Totomaru would always manage to save the day.” you took a bite on your snack.
"Huh..?" Totomaru looks puzzled when you say that.
Ron just looked speechless. How could you know every little detail?
"Wait, Toto, don't tell me you lead me outside earlier because she told you to?" Ron turned to Totomaru and asked.
"...Umm, yeah, (Name) told me to. She said we should both go outside and I should look over you.." he said as he recalled what you told him earlier as he held his chin.
Then Ron suddenly looked at you with wide eyes and Totomaru gaped at you. "Hold on a minute, you knew from the very beginning? Is this what you’ve been talking about?"
"Not quite the very beginning, but yeah, some of it. I didn’t want any problems. And besides, I don't want that happening under my care. If you don't want whatever is going on with you and the culprit to happen then make sure to go outside or somewhere far away after Totomaru voices your deduction," you said as you looked at him unfazed. You were expecting him to react like this anyway.
Ron looks at you, completely floored. Here you were, basically aware of half his life, retelling it to him casually. Totomaru looked confused still, but then it clicked after a few minutes of silence.
"Wait, she knew everything? You knew?" Totomaru said as he looked at Ron and then you repeatedly, looking for an answer. So you explained everything to him again.
"Wait, but you never knew much about me and don't ask people about me," Totomaru said but you just shushed him
“That’s just what you think,” you chuckled as you sip your coffee. “Besides the more I heard about Ron, the more I thought he was interesting.”
After that you and Ron got close especially after knowing everything. He took his time with you, getting to know you almost as much as you knew him. Ron also found out you were also good at self defense after one of the killers in one case attacked. He saw how you handled it. He thought about it before, when he first met you, but you were a bit scary...
As time passes, you, Ron, and Totomaru had cases that all of you would investigate together. You and Ron took this chance to compete (in a good way) on who'd be the first to solve the case. Totomaru actually couldn't believe you and him would hold competitions even during times as serious as this but eventually he got used to it. Most of the time, you win because you distract Ron, but at the same time Ron does the same to you and that makes you lose to him.
You said you would defeat him in other cases, and there is no problem in finding some cases because every time you three are together somehow there is always a murder and if not probably theft or other things. Ron seemed happy to solve more cases; sometimes you were, too, but at the same time you find it rather concerning...
While in the past everyone saw only Ron and Totomaru, now they see (Name), Ron, and Totomaru together. People even said that Totomaru looked like a third wheel to you and Ron, especially with how you got along. Some even said that you and Ron looked like enemies to lovers as you two would always "fight" in investigations.
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Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other social media, Thank you
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fandomfucker · 1 year ago
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heyy, would you be able to write a fluffy rhea x reader one shot please?
one where reader and rhea have been dating for a little bit and reader has a kid (like 1 year old or something), but rhea doesn’t know yet. reader has a conversation with rhea and confesses and rhea is shocked, but asks to meet them. as soon as she meets the baby, rhea falls in love with him/her and adores the baby so much and grows to love him/her like her own. and just make it like really fluffy please?
it’s okay if no ☺️
I don't know a lot about kids so please bear with me, and apologies for taking forever. Please enjoy ❤
Words: 2,336
I was so nervous I could've thrown up.
Rhea and I had been going out for a few months now and she was coming back tomorrow after having not seen her for over two weeks.
And since we've already been going out for a couple of months, I figured it was either now or never with telling her about my daughter, Celia.
She was almost two now and my absolute pride and joy. Her father hadn't been in the picture since before she was born but I wasn't nervous telling Rhea about him. Just her. Because if she wants to have me she has to have my daughter too and if she can't deal with that then...
Let's say that my saying I'm nervous is a severe understatement. I was absolutely terrified.
Neither of us had said it yet, but I love Rhea. So much. So if my having a child is a dealbreaker then I don't even know what I'll do.
Tomorrow I'm going to be picking her up from the airport after her last match against Raquel Rodriguez. They're giving her a two-week injury-scripted break after having been in multiple WWE events each week the past few weeks.
We've both been really looking forward to it and had even started planning some stuff for us to do while she was here. Luckily we actually live only one city apart so she doesn't have to get a hotel or stay at my house, just in case anything goes wrong.
Which, I don't think it will but you never know.
I was currently bathing my daughter before bedtime, the worry must've been evident on my face.
"Mama?" Celia spoke up.
Looking down at her I saw her looking up at me, her eyes fixated on my face. There was a little crease of confusion and concern between her brows.
"Yes, my darling?" I questioned her, bending down to give her forehead a kiss as I filled the plastic cup with water again to rinse her hair out.
"Why sad?" She asked innocently, splashing her rubber duck in the water as she played. This duck was Sir Quacks a Lot, who was married to the other Sir Quacks a Lot. They had drama with the Mrs Quacks a Lot and we're currently in an argument about Baby Quacks a Lot.
"Nothing for you to worry that pretty little head over," I grinned, booping the top of her nose, sending her into a fit of giggles and splashes.
After Celia's bath, I dressed her in the fuzzy brown bear onesie I had found for her not too long ago and put her to bed.
Walking back downstairs after making sure Celia was asleep, all the nerves and doubts I had managed to push aside came back and hit me.
I went to go grab a glass of water, noticing that my hand was starting to shake. I decided to just go straight to bed. After all, Rhea was getting in pretty early so I had to be up and get to the airport also super early. At this point, all I could do was hope that she wouldn't leave me.
-Time Skip-
Waiting at the terminal Rhea would be coming out of with a bouquet of flowers was nerve-wracking as hell. She had texted me the estimated time they were supposed to land but it's never exact so I didn't actually know when she would arrive.
After a little over half an hour, I finally saw her plane land and make its way to the little hallway between the plane and the airport. Another twenty minutes later I saw her. For the first time in over two weeks, we were in the same place at the same time, together.
My breath caught in my throat as I watched her look around for me, our eyes finally meeting from across the room.
I watched as her gorgeous face lit up and she started to make a beeline for me.
Momentarily forgetting my nervousness I grinned and stepped forward to meet her in the middle as we collided into a tight hug.
"Hey, beautiful," I spoke, my voice thickening with emotion.
I felt Rhea release a deep sigh of relief against me before she responded, "Hey, baby."
"I missed you," I croaked into her neck, shoving my face into her and breathing her scent in.
"I missed you too," She replied as she stroked my hair with one hand and my lower back with the other.
Pulling myself away from her I just stood there and stared at her face for a second before speaking, "Let's go home, yeah?"
She nodded and grabbed my hand as we started to walk towards the luggage claim to pick up her suitcase.
"So, are those for me? Or..." Rhea playfully questioned me, trailing off at the end as she gestured to my hand holding her flowers.
"Oh!" I exclaimed. I had completely forgotten about them in my excitement of having her here with me again.
"Yes, they're for you, sorry," I apologized, blushing deeply. She chuckled and took them from me, smelling them before kissing my temple.
"They're beautiful, Love. Just like you," She smirked at me causing me to blush yet again.
I ducked my head down to hide the blush as I grinned widely and giggled.
We made idle talk as we walked to the luggage claim and then grabbed her luggage before making our way to my car.
Getting in the car my previous nervousness hit me again in full force. Pausing to just rest my hands on the steering wheel and take a breather I could feel Rhea turn to me in concern, "What's wrong?"
She was giving me an opening, it was now or never.
"I have something I need to tell you." Slowly I pulled my gaze from the dash of my car to her eyes. Her brows were furrowed in concern and her mouth was pulled into a frown.
"Is everything okay?" She asked sort of hesitantly.
I nodded quickly, "Yeah, it's just...something I haven't told you yet that I probably should have."
Rhea nodded in encouragement for me to continue.
I took a deep breath. "I have a kid."
Silence.
"What?"
"I have a daughter. Her name is Celia. She'll be two in October." I whispered into the quiet, too scared of her reaction to be any louder.
She looked lost in thought for the next few minutes, slumping back against the seat.
"I'm sorry for not telling you but I could never find the right time and-"
Rhea cut me off, "Hold on. Just, stop."
I shut my mouth, terrified out of my mind of what she was going to say next.
"I just need a second to process this."
"Yeah, no I understand. It's a lot to take in." I quietly replied, chewing on my bottom lip.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered. She sounded choked up and on the verge of tears which made me start crying.
"Because I thought you would leave and I was scared." I sobbed, covering my face with my hands as if to conceal the tears.
"No, no no no no no." Rhea clamored, reaching for me over the console. "I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." She tried to reassure me, smiling softly. "I could never leave my best girl hangin'."
I giggled at the reference to one of my favorite movies ever and wiped my eyes and nose with the back of my sleeve.
"C-can I meet her?" Rhea asked hesitantly, "It's okay if not I completely under-" I leaned over the console and kissed her, effectively shutting her up.
"Of course, you can meet her. She's actually been asking for quite some time now when she gets to meet 'Ree-Ree'." I laughed, recounting the many times she asked for another bedtime story about "Mama's friend".
Rhea beamed and kissed my cheek, reassuring me once again that she was okay with me having a child. We'd be having a more in-depth talk about it later on but right now it was time for them to meet.
We pulled up to my house almost half an hour later, where my sister was watching Celia while I was out. 
Getting out of the car, I grabbed Rhea's luggage for her before she even had a chance to grab it and walked up to the door with my keys. Taking a deep breath I unlocked the door, pushing it open before standing aside for Rhea to walk in first.
She nodded in thanks as she walked through, looking around and taking in her surroundings. My house was a bit more on the unconventional side, being a maximalist and all. 
"Zoey?" I yelled into the house to find her after closing the door behind us. "Kitchen!"
I rolled Rhea's suitcase against the wall a little ways away from the door and motioned for her to put her backpack there as well before following me.
I made my way to the kitchen with Rhea following idly behind, still taking in my house. As soon as I laid eyes on my daughter in her booster seat I smiled and made a beeline for her, making "monster" grabby-hands.
She squealed with delight, grinning madly all the while as I unbuckled her and picked her up above my head, blowing raspberries on her exposed stomach making her squirm and giggle.
Bringing her down to rest on my hip I kissed the top of her head as she buried it into my neck. I turned around when I remembered that we weren't alone.
Zoey, my sister, and Rhea were standing next to each other, both watching the two of us with a smile on their face. I side-hugged Zeoy hello before introducing them to each other.
"It's so nice to finally meet you! I've heard so many things about you and Y/n even made me get into wrestling." Zoey exclaimed excitedly, making Rhea laugh. "I've heard a lot about you as well so it's great to meet you too."
"Well, I better get going I have to run some errands before I get home to let the dogs out." Zoey excused herself, grabbing her bag before making her way back over to me.
"Bye-bye CeCe." She cooed, tickling her neck before giving her forehead a kiss. "I'll see you later, sis," She gave me another side hug.
"Rhea, it was lovely meeting you, maybe we can all get together soon while you're here? Oh! We could do a double date with you two and me and my partner!" She excitedly exclaimed.
"Totally! That sounds great, we'll definitely have to get together. I can't wait!" Rhea replied enthusiastically. Zoey gave Rhea a quick hug before bounding out the door, leaving us alone with my daughter.
Rhea slowly walked up to us, I could read the nervousness on her face.
"CeCe, this is mama's friend Rhea, remember?" I spoke gently to Celia. She lifted her head from my neck and looked at Rhea with her big beautiful eyes. I could see Rhea's initial hesitation melt away as they locked eyes.
"Hello there, little one." Rhea greeted her softly, waggling her fingers at her like how she does when she's in character. 
Celia must have recognized either her name or her picture because she then started to bounce in my arms as she giggled and held out her arms to Rhea to hold her.
"You wanna hold her?" I asked her, shifting my hold a bit on CeCe.
"Um, I-I don't know. I'm not really sure how I should hold her." Rhea stammered.
"Just like this," I replied, gesturing goofily to how she rested on my hip. 
"O-okay," She half-smiled nervously, grabbing Celia under her arms and hefting her gently onto her hip. Celia giggled and wiggled around the whole time, putting her hands on Rhea's face and patting them around.
"Sorry, she likes to do that," I apologized embarrassed.
"It's all good," Rhea laughed, gently removing Celia's hands from her face.
Grinning at my two favorite girls I made an offer they couldn't refuse. "How about y'all go and play while I go and make some breakfast yeah?" 
"Yes!" Celia squealed, squirming enough that Rhea put her down. "That sounds great, Love." Rhea chuckled.
Celia raised her arm near where Rhea's hand rested, asking for her to hold her hand. Rhea grabbed a hold of her hand and was immediately pulled away towards the direction of the living room. Rhea shot me a look of panic before disappearing from my view making me laugh.
I put on some music and began making breakfast as Rhea and Celia played in the living room.
After I finished making breakfast I set the table as well, wanting a nice fancy breakfast for Rhea's coming home and first time at my house.
I made my way to the living room to get the two of them to come eat but stopped short in the doorway when I saw them.
Rhea sat on the floor crisscrossed in front of Celia with a tiny plastic crown on her head, a pink plastic teacup in one hand, and a giant plastic dinosaur in the other.
Celia stood in front of her also wearing a tiny plastic crown on her head but I could see that Rhea had given her one of her necklaces to wear as she poured the two of them cups of tea. 
I smiled as I watched Rhea play pretend with her, not wanting to interfere with the adorableness. Just seeing Rhea wearing her scary full black outfit with dark jewelry and makeup wearing a tiny pink crown was enough to make me fall madly in love right then and there. And I think I did.
"I hate to interrupt, but breakfast is ready," I spoke up, finally announcing my presence.
Celia bounded over to me, holding out the end of Rhea's necklace she was wearing to me. "Look what 'ea gave me!"
"Wow! What a lucky girl you are! Let's go wash up for breakfast though, yeah?" I picked her up and set her on my hip as I turned to look at Rhea who was blushing furiously.
Grinning at her I playfully asked what was the matter.
"Didn't know you were there," Rhea mumbled, reaching up to pull the crown off.
"Leave it, I like it," I smirked as I turned on my heel to make my way back to the kitchen. I think this could work.
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bullet-clubs-bitch · 1 year ago
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can you write Where Reader is married to MJF. And Reader and MJF have a kid/kids . And Reader and MJF kid/ kids has never gotten to see Their Dad MJF wrestle at an AEW show in person. And then MJF and Reader kid/ kids when Aew dynamite goes off the air MJF and his kid/kids join their dad in the ring?
Surprises
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Word count: 705
Main Masterlist MJF Masterlist
Tonight was a special night, not only would it be the 200th episode of dynamite but it would also be the first time my daughter Scarlet would see both of her parents perform. Although she was only 7 months and would not remember the event it was a very special night for both Max and I. When I found out that I was pregnant I was terrified. When I told Max I was pregnant I was shocked for him to be so happy about it. We were both young, 26 years old with big plans for the future, plans that will be on hold with the new baby. Although I was a bit frustrated with the sudden surprise it was a blessing in disguise. Max had been unhappy for weeks, Wardlow had finally turned on him and beat him at double or nothing which had been the final straw. The week after I told Max that I was pregnant he went on air and begged Tony to fire him. 
I remember watching the whole incident go down backstage from a monitor and being terrified and angry. Why would he do something so stupid? It turned out that one of the reasons he did it was so he could be with me during my pregnancy. 
Our daughter Scarlet was born on December 5th, and of course since Max had made his return in September and won the world championship in November he just had to bring the triple b to the hospital when I gave birth. Since our daughter was born it was difficult at times, Max having to travel town to town for work was frustrating. Frustrating because it was hard to take care of a baby myself and frustrating because I wish I could have been there with him. 
It has been 7 months since Scarlet was born and I have finally returned to in ring action. I made my surprise return at Forbidden Door a few weeks ago and defeated Willow Nightingale for the NJPW Strong Women's Championship. Now here we are on the 200th episode of dynamite celebrating the wonderful milestone. 
The show had gone great, I successfully retained my title against Nyla Rose, MJF won against Sammy Guevara and Hikaru Shida became AEW Womens Champion once again. After Dynamite went off the air we filmed Rampage Which also went great. Before the night was over several wrestlers came out to talk about AEW and thank the fans for supporting us for 200 episodes. Myself and Max included.
“Thank you everyone so much! As you know I recently made my return at Forbidden Door-” I tried to get my words out but was overcome with emotion as the fans kept cheering so loud. 
“But the truth is, I have been keeping a big secret from all of you for the past year. I know I said that I was out of action due to a shoulder injury, which was true but there was something else that was keeping me out of action.” I looked over at Max with a big smile on my face as he began to speak. 
“I don’t know if you dumb people in​​ Tampa knew this but the two of us are married in real life. 
You see I like to keep my personal life private and how we were able to keep this one a secret for such a long time is crazy.” Max said as he exited the ring, approaching ringside. 
“7 months ago my life changed. 7 months ago I became a father” Max said as the fans started to go wild. I followed him down to the side of the ring and picked up my daughter from the nanny who was sitting ringside with her. 
“This is our daughter Scarlet, I thought tonight would be the perfect night to introduce her to the world. I know back at All Out you schmucks thought I came back for you fans but the truth was I came back for her” Max said pointing to the tiny baby. 
“Now I know some of you will see me differently from now on but the truth is I am still better than all of you and you know it” 
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garglyswoof · 8 months ago
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I was inspired by @push1na 's amazing klaroline version of Klimt's The Kiss and so wrote a ficlet inspired by it This is me writing on my phone in an airport lounge so hopefully it comes out ok <3
--+++--
They come for him while the blooms are still bright, trampling them beneath an army of bootheels, and it's another point against them.
Because she loves the flowers, and he will have to get his minions to replant them when he crushes this threat. He often uses her own words, thrown at him with such vitriol years ago, just to see her eyes roll and barely hide the smile behind. But she's not here with him now. She is safe, he reassures himself.
It's only been a few years with her and he is greedy for a thousand of them. Last month he'd approached her here in this yard, in the suit she'd insisted he wear “for nostalgia reasons, obviously” with the blooms flowering their riotous colors in the golden light of sunset, and kissed her cheek as she stared at him with something that made his heart kick in his chest like a prey animal.
It was terrifying and joyous and his greedy, greedy heart cannot get enough.
He told her so, just a few days before, when he'd learned of this new vampire threat and sent her off to New Orleans despite her furious protests. He couldn't put it into words at the time, that losing her would break him worse than the hunter’s curse ever had. That to touch her was one thing, but to hear her spitfire words only made this stutter step in his heart worse. Instead he’d merely said ‘I need to keep you safe,’ and he knows it wasn't enough. 
He would enjoy his acts of contrition, truth be told, tangled in the sheets with his mouth tracing patterns on her skin.
The wind picks up then, ruffling his hair like it did her dress that golden-tinged summer evening, but this time it carries the scent of vampires instead of Caroline’s own. He keeps his pose casual, hands clasped behind his back, walking back towards the house and avoiding the wildflowers underfoot.  Let them think him clueless and weak, it made their destruction taste almost as sweet as the notes of jasmine in Caroline’s perf-
“No.”
“Yes,” she replies, and he looks up at her, standing in the doorway, her sundress abloom with flowers to match the yard, and his greedy heart thumps.
“They're almost here,.love. If I - if I,” he can't even say it, as if speaking the words could manifest them. He feels the impotent rage rise up, knows his next words will push her away.
Her hand cups his shoulder.and squeezes before he can betray himself. “I know.  But you won't. And you can't ask me to stay away when you're the one in danger. So you're just gonna have to learn to trust me. Plus you just gave me that fancy mini fridge and Im spoiled by how good the wine setting keeps blood at the perfect temperature.”
He grumbles at this, because he doesn't get her choice of diet when she could have it fresh from the tap, but he takes the hand at his shoulder, admiring the glint of sun off of some ancient queen’s ring he'd bestowed upon Caroline, you’ll forgive him for not remembering who, and kisses the palm of her hand, her wrist. 
Her intake of breath is a revelation, as it always is, that she is just as affected as he is. It makes him think that perhaps this madness that takes hold of his greedy heart isn't one-sided. He hoards her gasps like jewels in a dragon’s den. 
The thought steels him and his eyes are wild as he turns to face the onrush that he knows is upon them. Her hand stays clasped in his own, for a moment, and if he has the brief thought of never letting go, it is one borne of a poet’s thoughts that he’ll remember for later, when the path of his brush traps their moments together.
The sun descends, but she still shines to him, monster’s visage above the blooms of her dress, the neckline covered in blood, her hand clutching a still-beating heart. He only has a moment to appreciate her, his brilliant blonde distraction, before he turns back to the fray.
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sen-ya · 7 months ago
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Yk what will make Law have worse dysmorphia that pregnancy, a pregnancy where he can't use his powers properly as the pregnancy goes on thus not allowing him to, not only, face his changing body without modifications (like shifting the baby so his stomach is flatter) AND go through the birth the normal way (by normal I mean either c-section or natural birth, whatever you prefer) ALSO he would be weak from that and can't use his powers making him experience post-partum body and BOY LEMME TELL YOU THAT IS DYSMORPHIA IN AND OF ITSELF.
GAEHLFJSDHFLSDJFNSELFJ AND I THOUGHT I WAS MEAN I’M CRYIN. back a few months ago when I was drawing these comics I shared em w a friend and she immediately was like “he could just pop it out and watch it grow” which 1) terrifying and 2) I was like WELL DAMN U IMMEDIATELY FIXED THE PROBLEM I WAS TRYING TO GIVE HIM. But this?? My answer is OOF. Also because his powers are linked to his stamina like you’re…you’re right???
As a sidebar, I’ve been very slowly writing something toying w the idea that Blackbeard did (at least partially) take law’s powers and it’s still very much half baked but I need u to know we same brained here
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CFWC Writer of the Month - Aug 2023: ao719
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Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @ao719. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.
Quick Links:
Tumblr Blog: ao719 Blog Masterlist
How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Anitah
1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 
I first started playing in June 2018. The Royal Romance was the first book I played, and I got hooked from the end of the first chapter. At the time, they were midway through releasing TRR book 3, so I binged books 1 & 2 and finally caught up on the day of the wedding, where the chapter ended with the attack at the boutique. Then I didn’t know what to do with myself because it was the first time I had to wait a week to find out what was going to happen.
2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?
Finding Tumblr was a complete accident. I was googling something really dumb about Liam and TRR and happened to stumble across a link for a fic on Tumblr. At the time, I didn’t know what Tumblr was; I’d heard of it but had no idea what it consisted of. The fic I came across was around 40+ chapters, and I was in my glory reading this angsty story about Liam, but it wasn’t finished, so when I reached the last updated chapter, I was like, “I need more.” So I opened Tumblr and searched for more Liam fics and found a trove. I lurked for another month or so before finally making my account in September 2018.
3- How did you pick your blog name? 
I wish I had some good story for it, but it’s the most basic thing, lol. It’s just my initials and a significant date. I think if I came into the fandom with the intention of actually doing something with the blog, I would have tried to come up with something a little more clever and creative, but I had zero intention of doing anything but reading. I thought about changing it a few years ago, but when I learned that I’d have to relink everything in my masterlist, it didn’t seem worth the hassle.
4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  
It’s from the day TRR 3 ended and it’s about how I was sad that it was over but was glad that I had all these stories to read.
5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?
I’d never written anything until I joined the fandom, so I’ve only been writing for almost five years now. The thought of writing didn’t even cross my mind when I joined the fandom, but within a couple of weeks of making my blog, I had a random idea pop up in my head, and for some reason, I decided to write it down. A few days later, after talking myself out of posting and then talking myself back into it, I bit the bullet. For me to post a story that I wrote was entirely out of my comfort zone. I’m pretty shy and tend to be more of a wallflower, so I don’t usually put myself out there, especially like that, and I’ve never been someone who does something where I intentionally set myself up, knowing there is a very good chance that I will fail. And social media on any platform can be a pretty intimidating and terrifying place when you open yourself up, especially to strangers, even by way of posting a measly little fanfic. So to say I was terrified of posting that first fic is an understatement, but I’m so glad that I did.
6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?
The Royal Romance will always be my favorite. It was the first book I ever played and was the only one I played for well over a year (I just kept replaying over and over and over until @cocomaxley convinced me to give MotY a try, which I fell in love with). It’s my comfort book. And like every book, it definitely has its flaws, but I love it and the characters so much. And TRR is my favorite book to write about. Liam will always be my number one guy.
7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?
The first fic that I wrote was I Dare You. It’s not an all-time favorite of mine, but I like it well enough that I wouldn’t change anything about it.
8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?
This is tough because I have a few that I love for different reasons, but I think Always You will always be the most special to me because it was the first series I wrote that I can truly say I poured my whole heart into. I love that story, and I love the history between Liam and the OC, their bond, and their relationship. 
9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?
When I decided to start Hopeless Hearts, I didn’t think it would be received any differently from most things I’d written before. It was an idea I’d kept on the back burner for over 2 years prior to writing it because I didn’t think it was anything spectacular or out of the box. It turned out to be my most well-received series, and it became one of my personal favorites as well.
I don’t think anything I’ve written has left me feeling as though I wished it had gotten more. I’m still surprised to this day that anyone wants to read anything I’ve written at all, so any love that my fics get is beyond appreciated.
10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 
Angst (but with a HEA). I love putting my characters through the wringer before giving them that happily ever after they deserve. Whether I’m reading or writing, there’s something about feeling the pain and longing they’re going through that gets me emotionally invested. I think that’s why I love the second chance romance trope so much, too. It’s a really versatile trope, but there’s a lot of room for angst in those kinds of stories because of that established history between the characters and a past that tore them apart the first time around.
11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?
I think I sprinkle a little bit of myself into all of my MCs/OCs. It’s usually something small like a favorite food, a hobby, certain mannerisms, etc. I think the one that I’ve added more of myself into than any other and can relate to the most personality wise would definitely be Charlotte.
12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?
I struggle with all of it here and there, and I’m constantly questioning whether something makes sense, if it’s flowing together, if it’s too descriptive or not descriptive enough, etc. I think the one area I most consistently struggle with is deciding where and how to end because I always want to leave my chapters with a cliffhanger or if I’m finishing something for good, I want to give it the ending it deserves. 
13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?
I have quite a few that are unfinished that I know I more than likely won’t ever pick back up, mostly because I just lost my mojo for them, but there are definitely some that I want to finish. I’d really like to get back to Past Meet Present one day. I don’t even remember why I got off track with writing it, and it’s been at least two years or more since I last updated it 🫣 so I’m not sure if anyone would even still be interested at this point, but I’d really like to finish that along with Breaking Point and Us Again.
14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 
No. Maybe. I don’t know, lol. I try to be a “never say never” kind of person, but writing is something that I’ve done for almost five years that literally no one in my real life knows about. Not my friends, not my family, not a single soul. It’s like my dirty little secret. And it’s a little tough because it does get lonely sometimes when you have something that you love doing so much but you just feel like you can’t share or aren’t ready to share that part of yourself with even those closest to you. I’m a pretty self-conscious person, and posting on here where I can hide behind a screen is hard enough; I get nervous and have a good spike of anxiety every time I post something, no matter what it is. I don’t know if I could handle someone who knows me personally even knowing that I write, let alone actually reading something I’ve written. I’ve got the bubble gut just thinking about it 🥴
15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 
I’ve been lucky enough to talk to and befriend some amazing and talented people in the time I’ve been here who I’ve certainly looked up to when it comes to their writing talents. And there are also those writers who I got to know after I’d been writing for a while that not only continued to inspire me with their amazing stories and talent but who also became a huge support and really close friends. They were and/or are always willing to brainstorm, look over snippets, help in those moments when I’ve been extra critical of myself and feeling very unsure, and/or have just been the absolute best cheerleaders and constantly supportive and encouraging to not only me but others as well. I don’t want to make a list because I always end up forgetting someone and I don’t want to leave anyone out, but anyone that fits that bill above, you know how much I love and appreciate each one of you.
16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 
I’d say either Always You or Hopeless Hearts for a movie. Series I think Full Disclosure with some Charlotte shenanigans would be pretty fun 😂
17- Do you write original fiction? 
I haven’t. I’ve been asked a few times about whether I’ve thought about turning a couple of my series into original stories, but I just don’t think I’ll have the confidence to ever do it 😬
18 -  What other hobbies do you have?
I do photography. I love calligraphy and making hand drawn quote signs on wood or canvas. I love to read — I’m currently in my fantasy girl era and have been obsessing over the ACOTAR series for months, lol. 
19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 
I use so many to express myself in conversations that I think it would be hard to pick just one. My most commonly used ones: 💀 😂 🥲 😬 😍 🥴 🥹
20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).
I just want to thank CFWC for working so hard to help keep this fandom active and supporting everyone here. 
To anyone who’s taken any time to read my stories and interact with me in any way, I appreciate it more than I can say. 
This place has been such an escape for me over the past (almost) five years, one I’m still very much in need of. So, whether you’re a content creator, writer, artist, reader, whatever the case may be, whether we’ve interacted before or not, thank you for what you’ve done to help keep this fandom alive.
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biggestxsimps · 2 years ago
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I Forgive You
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Draco Malfoy x Male Reader (Part 2)
A/N: I haven't watched Harry Potter in a while, like I said in Part 1 of this, I’m not aware of everything in the HP universe so let me know if I’ve messed something up and I’ll try to fix it. I haven't written in first-person POV in a while so I hope it’s alright 😭
Part 1: I’m Sorry
Y/N’s POV:
The last couple of months felt like something out of a nightmare, never in a hundred years did I think Death-Eaters would storm into our school. Though I was in danger, I couldn’t help but watch as Draco stood on their side, I still think about it now. How he looked so terrified, so worried as Hagrid brought Harry’s limp body to the crowd. I shake my head. I can’t continue to overthink that evening, I’m in safe hands now, I just hope Draco is too.
I walk into the kitchen, deciding to finally grab something to eat. My eyes fall on the leftovers from last night’s dinner. As I grab the container, I hear a ‘swoosh’ as an envelope falls beside me on the counter. The food now left my mind as I reached for the envelope, something about it seemed familiar. I slowly pull the letter out, quickly scanning the writing, I feel my heart sink at the realization. Why would he be writing to me? I prepared myself before properly reading the words.
Y/N L/N,
I’m aware that I’m, no doubt, the last person you would’ve wished this letter was from, but I urgently need to speak to you.
I don’t wish for your forgiveness; just for you to let me explain everything to you. I feel terrible for leaving you with no reason.
I’ll be at The Three Broomsticks tomorrow evening, if you feel comfortable, please come and see me.
 Draco Malfoy.
I felt my heart skip a few beats, no matter the pain that boy had put me through, I still missed him dearly. Now I have a chance to see him again, to talk to him again. My mind wanders back to our previous year, I can’t help but smile at the bittersweet memories, flashes of sharing laughs in the halls to quiet cuddles in our dormitory.
I couldn’t help but toss and turn that night, thinking about talking to the blond boy after what felt like so long.
Timeskip
The day had surprisingly gone by fast, 5pm only an hour away now. I decided to start getting ready, I didn't want it to seem like I dressed up for him, but I still wanted to look presentable. I started with a pair of black dress pants, then slipped on a vest over a white button-up and completed the look with a (Colour) tie.
I walk over to the full-length mirror in the corner of my room, flattening the wrinkled pieces of cloth before taking a few minutes to fix my hair. I glance down at my wrist, only 10 minutes left, I let out a deep breath.
Draco’s POV:
This was a stupid idea, I doubt he’ll show up. My eyes look up at the darkening sky, if he were to show up, he’d be here very soon. I look back at the crowding tavern before taking a second to take a breath. I was ready to talk to him, I had to. I look at the (f/c) rose in my hand, it’s not much, but I hope he’ll like it.
Y/N’s POV:
I can’t help but stare at all the colorful lights and buildings, it had been a while since I walked the Hogsmeade streets. Often coming here with Draco for a butterbeer in the colder months. I sadly smile at that, it feels like a lifetime ago.
I take a longer route to The Three Broomsticks, wanting to soak in the views before seeing the blond boy. A wide grin found place on my lips as I looked at all the parts of Hogsmeade I used to hang out with friends in, small memories passing through my mind at the sights.
I stopped my ogling and checked my watch, I didn’t mean to take as long as I was, time seemed to just fly as I walked around. I shake my head, in the back of my head, I knew that I was just trying to prolong seeing him again, I couldn’t bear the thought of falling back in love with him just as I was starting to move on.
I rushed over to the tavern, not wanting him to wait any longer than he already had. I sigh as The Three Broomsticks make its way into my view, my eyes search around the entrance, stopping on a well-known head of blond hair. I take a second to look over him, his shaking hands holding a (f/c) rose. I feel my heart beat a little faster and my lips tugging up as I start to approach him, his pale eyes lighting up as they see me. Merlin, he was beautiful. 
Draco’s POV:
The sound of a familiar pair of footsteps starts to grow louder, I gaze up at the sound, my eyes locking with his. ‘Wow’ The grin on his face making my cheeks flush. He was somehow even more handsome than I remember him being. 
Y/N’s POV:
“Good evening, Draco'' I nodded my head towards him, his face reddening. He looks me up and down before opening his mouth, a mix of incomprehensible words tumbling out. “Pardon?” I quietly chuckled. “I-I’msosorrythatIleftyouthewayIdid-” “Woah, woah, slow down.” I smile at the nervous boy in front of me, taking his hand and rubbing my thumb over his fingers like I used to when we were together. “Take it slow, alright?” His body starts to loosen. “I’m here to listen.” 
The color on his cheeks starts to deepen as he nods, quickly looking away as he takes a few breaths. He turns back towards me and starts.
Draco’s POV:
I feel my stomach flutter and my knees weaken at his touch, Merlin, I can't focus on anything but his trailing fingers. My head shoots to the side. How am I supposed to talk to him when I can feel my heart beating in my throat? My lungs let out shaky breaths before I ready myself to talk to him.
“I know I should’ve told you back then, and it was foolish of me not to,” I start. “I just didn’t know how to tell you everything and how you would’ve reacted to hearing it. I trusted you dearly, but I was still afraid you’d hate me and see me as a monster for what I had been forced into.” I feel my voice waver and pause for a second, continuing after I collect myself. My eyes quickly glanced into his own, watching as they pinched in understanding.
“I knew that if we were close, you wouldn’t be safe. Not with everything going on, not with all the eyes on me. I meant it when I said I did it for your safety, I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you forever because I was too selfish to let you go first.” A long sigh leaves my lungs. “I- I just wanted to keep you out of everything, avoid putting you through the terrors I had seen.”
“I’m so sorry I hadn’t told you back then, I truly wanted to, I hope you can forgive me.”
I stop, a deep breath bringing my speech to an end. I yelped as I was pulled into an embrace, Y/N’s coarse hands rubbing circles against my back. My eyes start to water ‘Merlin, how I missed this, him.’ I dug my head into his shoulder, the cloth soaking up my tears as his cologne filled my mind.
Y/N’s POV:
I couldn’t stand to see him like that, so conflicted, like he was last year. His eyes started to well with tears, and I just couldn’t resist pulling him into me, holding him like I always used to. My hands rubbed along his back as his face fell onto my shoulder, I loved holding him like this. My hand reaches for his cheek, pulling it up to see his face, his eyes hazily glancing back up at me.
“Of course I forgive you, Draco; there’s nothing you could ever do to make me feel even the slightest bit of hatred for you.”
“I- Really? You forgive me after all that happened.”
“Yes, if I’m being honest, there is not a waking moment when you are not on my mind; you haunt my every thought and dream. I couldn’t stand the idea of losing you now that I have you again.”
“Y/N”
“Yes, Draco?”
“Do you think we could try this again? Us? I won’t let anything come between us now.”
“I’d love to, Dear.”
Draco’s POV:
I can’t help but swoon at the name, I’m so lucky to have him back. All those months of planning and fear were worth it in the end; I was in his arms, and he had no intent on letting go. As I now become more aware of my surroundings, I feel the rose I had paid so little attention to in my hands, the couple stray thorns pricking me.
I carefully back away from his chest, instead standing half-an-arm's length apart from him. His hands now resting on my lower as I bring the rose up to his view. His smile widens impossibly larger at the flower, freeing his hand and grabbing the (f/c) rose before placing a small kiss against my forehead “You remembered” I meekly nod “You haven't left my mind either.” 
“Since we’re already here, what do you say we make the most of it and hang out like we used to?” My eyes light up as I look up at that. “You asking me out on a date?” I giggle. “You said it, not me.” I accept the offer, and he takes my hand and brings me into the tavern we were standing in front of. “Butterbeers on me.” He grins before opening the doors.
Y/N’s POV:
It had been a couple hours, but it felt so much longer. Being able to talk to him like this again, treat him like my lover again, I couldn’t stop the smile that forced its way onto my face. My eyes wandered his frame, I took in everything I had been missing for the past few months. His silky blond locks to his inviting grey eyes, to the dust of red on his pale cheeks, to the unique marks littered amongst his skin, and finally landing on his plump lips. He was truly gorgeous.
He must’ve noticed me staring, because his ears also start to blush, I place a hand on his thigh, moving my face towards his. His eyes flutter closed as we share a long awaited kiss. 
Draco’s POV:
My heart nearly beats out of my chest at the connection; it was everything I hoped for, the kiss just as loving as it used to be. I snaked my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands grabbed my waist before breaking away. “It’s getting late; would you like to come home with me?” His hand reaches for my own, fingers dancing upon my palms. 
“I’d love to.”
A/N: This somehow ended up being 3x the length of Part 1, idk how I did it. I hope it’s comprehensible, I haven't proof-read it. Thank you to  @sotvs-luv for requesting the part 2 to this. (I’m unsure if you wanted to be tagged so if not, let me know and I’ll take it out!)
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box-o · 8 months ago
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The Holoska Express AU Chapter 1
Author's Note:
this is my first time doing something like this pretty much on my own and I am quite honestly terrified BUT. I really want to share this idea I had back in December and I hope that you enjoy reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it (even though Christmas was 3 months ago). with that said, may I present...
The Holoska Express
Chapter 1
written by Box-o (Kiki)
beta read, edited, and proofread by @niko-jpeg (tysm ily <3)
2909 words
The sun was just starting to set, the pale blue late December sky just starting to fade into the orange and red hues of sunset. The already frozen forest would only get colder once the sun sank below the horizon. Sonic knew that much for certain.
He, and Tails had been on the trail of a chaos emerald for a few days now, and day three of their adventures had brought them deep in the woods of the mainland. The hedgehog knew they’d have to stop soon as the sun sank in the sky and the early evening chill began to set in. To find a campsite was one thing, but to find a safe campsite was another. Ever since the fox kit started  tagging along, Sonic had been trying to be more aware of where they stopped  to  make sure his new travel buddy would be safe wherever they made camp each night. 
Sonic looked back at Tails to see the kit following a few steps back, careful to step in his brother’s tracks in the snow to make the two less detectable, something Sonic had told the kit to  do once the snow started to stick on the ground in late fall. Sonic stopped and turned the rest of his body to face the younger.
“I think it's about time to stop for the night bud.” Sonic says in more of a need than a want kind of tone
Tails looked at Sonic with a disappointed look on his face. “But it’s not even that late!! It’s only, like, 4 o’clock!”
The fox protested, but Sonic wasn’t about to cave on something as important as staying safe in these kinds of conditions.
 “I know it seems early but the sun is already going down, and once that's gone our only heat source goes with it,  keed” Sonic explained.
Tails seemed to understand, a bit better now and gave a small nod to the older.
Sonic looked around and tapped his foot on the ground a few times, then looked back at Tails,“Stay here just a second I’ll go find us a spot for the night” 
Tails nodded and sat down in the snow as Sonic sped off in search of the perfect spot. 
After a little bit of looking around, Sonic found a good enough spot and ran back to where he had told Tails to wait for him. Together, they made their way to the site the older of the two had scouted out before. 
It was a small cave off of a small hill (if you could even really call it that), but it would keep the brothers dry for the night and keep them hidden until morning. And so the two got to work unpacking, Tails setting up the bed rolls while Sonic got to work on building the pair a small cooking fire. 
The two worked quietly engrossed in their own tasks. And  with a small dug out fire pit in the snow and two sleeping bags neatly laid on the cave floor, Sonic got to work cooking up one of the MREs stored in his backpack. It wasn’t the best food, but it was easy to prepare and it got the two of them fed every day, so it was good enough. 
The hedgehog set up a makeshift stove with a few stronger branches and put on a pot of water to boil, and while he waited for it to heat up he crawled under the cover of the cave to sit with Tails for a moment. 
The evening was peaceful. a blanket of silence rested over the snowy woods, save for the sound of the damp logs in the fire hissing as the moisture burned out under the heat of the gently crackling flames. The sun clung  to the edge of the horizon as clouds started  to collect in the northern sky. 
The brothers sat in a comfortable silence sitting on their respective sleeping bags, enjoying the peace of the forest at this time of year. The snowed out forest had laid a quiet backdrop over the last  few days, which had made their journey more relaxing than usual. 
Tails finally broke the silence of the moment with a rather odd question for Sonic. 
“Hey Sonic, what day is it?” 
Sonic looked at the younger, confused. He hadn't forgotten the kit’s birthday had he? No, that was last month. Knuckles’ birthday was months ago too, so it couldn’t have been his he forgot either. And Sonic’s own birthday was in early summer. 
Why else would Tails ask about the date unless there was a birthday coming up to celebrate? The two didn’t worry much about the date because Eggman plots don’t care for the date either. Sonic remained puzzled for a good minute before the younger spoke up again
“I was just wondering because we left on the 21st, right? I… think it's the 24th today, so that would mean it’s Christmas eve right?” Tails explained, counting the number of days they spent in the woods on his paw.
The follow up statement only left Sonic with more questions than answers. 
Christmas? Christmas Eve? Was Tails referring to  another one of those strange ‘holidays’ he had heard of? Sonic had never been around any human (or mobian) towns very often or for very long until he had met Tails, but even the few holidays he had heard of just seemed too silly to him to care about. But the kit seemed excited, so Sonic decided to hear this one out, just this once. 
“What’s Christmas?”
To Sonic it seemed like a simple question. To Tails it was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard in his life. 
“What do you mean? How do you not know what Christmas is!?” 
The fox seemed at a loss for words, shocked by his brother’s lack of knowledge on what seemed like such a simple subject.Sonic tried to elaborate more on his question.
“I mean like, what do you do on Christmas? I assume it’s a holiday, yes? What are we celebrating?” 
Tails seemed to understand now and thought for a second before he replied.
“I guess that depends who you ask,” the fox started, Sonic looked at him expectantly with all of his attention now on what his little brother had to say. “All the kids in my old village were always excited for Santa Claus to come and leave them gifts. I heard from the grown ups that only kids on the nice list get presents from Santa. I’ve never gotten anything from Santa Claus so I guess I’ve always been on the Naughty list.” 
Tails shrugs off the last statement with a slight frown before continuing. “Santa delivers gifts to all the kids on the Nice list in one night and he has a workshop where he makes all the toys in Haloska, from what I’ve heard. How cool is that?!” 
“There’s no way he’s faster than me though.” Sonic butts in.
“He’s gotta be pretty close at least” Tails says excited to be the one teaching his older brother something for once. “To get around the world in one night you’d have to be at least a little fast”
“This Santa guy sounds cool and all, but what else is there?” Sonic commented, attempting to draw more information about this holiday from the fox kit. 
“I’m not entirely sure but I think you’re also meant to spend time with family, I always saw people get together for big family dinners back in my village, I think.” The younger of the two said with a thoughtful look. 
“Huh.” 
It was a lot to take in, Santa? There’s no way this was for real. No one was faster than Sonic and anyone who thought Tails wasn’t the nicest kid ever wasn’t worth Sonic’s time.
Sonic went to check on the pot on the fire to find it had finally begun boiling,  and with that the two were able to finish preparing their dinner. 
Pouring the water into the MRE bag and mixing it until the food was rehydrated, Sonic poured the rehydrated “pasta and meatballs” onto two plates and the pair sat down next to the fire to eat. 
Tails continued on about the ‘Santa Claus’ from before, his tone seemed so hopeful that this year would be his year to get his own gift from the magical man that, from Tails’ description, just sounded like Eggman in disguise. 
Even more reason Sonic refused to believe any of it but he wouldn’t tell Tails that, not when it made him this happy.  
Once the two finished and cleaned up they began to settle into their respective sleeping bags. By then the sun was fully set and the sky had a dark overcast shade to it, the moon just barely peeking through the clouds. The fire continued to crackle softly,  keeping the brothers warm and giving them just enough light to see each other and the edge of their little cave. 
Tails seemed more eager than usual to get to bed that night, though Sonic didn't get it. It was just a normal day to him, even if Tails believed in this weird ‘Christmas’ holiday. . 
There was nothing special happening today or tomorrow and the tween was in doubt that there was such a Santa Claus at all. If it made Tails happy and willing to go to bed, he couldn’t complain too much though.
“Goodnight bud, happy Christmas.” Sonic said with a yawn. Getting himself comfortable on his sleeping arrangement 
Tails giggled at that.
“You say ‘merry’ Christmas, not ‘happy’ Christmas, Sonic.” 
“Oh…” Sonic stopped for a second “Well then, merry Christmas Tails. I hope the Santa thing works out for ya’.” 
“I hope he comes for you too!! But we have to go to sleep quickly. Santa only comes if you’re asleep, so go to bed!!” 
Tails seemed so genuinely convinced this Santa guy was real, but Sonic still doubted it, after all, how could one guy do all that? What made him the judge of who was good and bad? Why toys for ‘good’ children and coal for the ‘bad’ children, coal is arguably more useful anyway isn't it? 
Sonic laid in his sleeping bag trying to understand it all while the kit next to him was certainly asleep, not even an express train going by could wake the fox up now Sonic thought, the kit was sprawled out inside his sleeping bag and laying on his back.
It was quiet. The fire had dried all the wet wood it had burned before its heat sucking the moisture from any new log dropped on it as soon as it was added to the pile all of the wood quietly agreed to the raging inferno around it occasionally shifting to get comfortable, the flickies had all gone to their nests for the night and Sonic seemed to be the only thing left awake for miles. The clouds overhead began dropping silent white specs of snow and Sonic was glad he was under the cover of the cave. The night was silent and still, Sonic closed his eyes as well ready to go to sleep himself.
Ding ding ding ding
It was quiet at first then began getting louder and louder as it went on, Sonic flicked an ear trying to find the source of the sound fearing the worst and ready to defend his sleeping companion.
Ding ding ding ding
TOOT TOOT 
Sonic jumped out of his sleeping bag at the sound of the whistle, had he made such a mistake as to set up near a train track? He swore he had looked all around the area for such things. How could he have missed something like train tracks?! 
His concerns only grew as the cave around them began to shake.
A loud repetitive click as the train came closer got louder and louder as the wheels passed over the rails,
 the wood in the campfire shifting and the backpacks, pots and pans got knocked around in the chaos, in all the noise Tails woke up to Sonic standing in a defencive stance at the mouth of the cave 
The two brothers looked at each other equally confused on what's going on staring at each other with terrified expressions as the ringing got closer and the shaking intensified 
TOOT TOOT 
The whistle blast was deafening as a bright light burst through the trees and moved along the entrance to the cave the two called home for the night, the ringing went on and the ear splitting sound of grinding steel screamed out as the thing came to stop like an animal on a leash begging its handler to let it keep running until eventually the thing gave in and the screams of the wheels on the tracks softened until you couldn’t hear it at all.
The lights which at first had blinded the two mobians were dulled by the snow and fog that collected around the magnificent thing, after a few soft clicks the train came to a gentle stop and hissed as the pressure from the hydraulic brakes could finally breathe a sigh of relief, the engine continued to hiss almost like it was trying to catch its breath after a long run.
 The thick fog that had gathered around the train settled to the ground and dispersed just as quickly as it came to reveal a majestic steam engine proudly pulling along with it three magnificent coaches in a shade of icy blue with crimson red accents the black tender box proudly bearing the name ‘The Haloska Express’ in gold letters.
Sonic and Tails were at a loss for words neither of them knew what to do, Tails climbed out of his sleeping bag to join Sonic at the cave entrance clinging to his older brother’s side in confusion and fear. The fire was fading out after all the shaking from before and the only light source around was the train before them. The two stared at it in silence and awe.
“All aboard!” 
The brothers looked down the Train in the direction the shout came from to see a taller mobian in a train conductor uniform 
“All aboard!” 
They called out again looking towards the two as if they were calling out to the brothers directly. Tails took a step towards the source of the shouts and Sonic followed not wanting Tails to get hurt or lost or worse, as the two got closer the mobian that greeted them was an adult quokka they looked at the two boys with a welcoming look as they approached. 
“Well, ya coming?” 
The quokka spoke up 
“Where?” 
Sonic asked now the one standing behind Tails trying to look as intimidating as possible against the stranger. 
“Why to Haloska of course! This is the HALOSKA EXPRESS!”
The quokka seemed to really want to make sure the two understood that last bit, Tails eyes lit up but Sonic grew more and more skeptical as the interaction went on. To Sonic’s concern Tails seemed to actually be considering getting on that train. 
“Alright eggman just come out and attack me now so I can go back to bed” 
Sonic shouts out to nothing in particular, only to be met with an awkward silence. this had to be an eggman plot there was no way it wasn’t and he wasn’t about to let his little brother fall victim to it.
“This train has nothing to do with anything that rotten egg gets up to.” 
The quokka replies then checks his pocket watch that was tucked in the pocket in the vest of his uniform. He sighs and looks back at the two kids taking a clipboard out that was sitting at the top of the stairs of the carriage. 
The quokka begins reading off of the clipboard
“Miles Prower and Sonic, yes?” 
The two nod, Tails intrigued and Sonic more skeptical.
“Well let's see then, oh dear..” 
The quokka looks back at the brothers again.
“Oh my, no letter or list, no visit with any sort of Santa anywhere, and worst of all no Christmas cheer.” The quokka looks down at the brothers again and hums in disapproval shaking their head.
The two looked back confused on how the sheet they held was able to tell them that much about their belief in Santa of all things. 
“Well, if I were you, I’d really consider getting on and soon it's a big night don’t you know! we’ve got a lot to do and we can’t be late now!” the conductor had a rushed tone to their voice. 
The quokka gestured towards the stairs but Sonic grabbed onto Tails’ shoulders, backing away and shaking his head no keeping eye contact with the adult while trying to pull his younger brother away, Tails was having none of that and pushed against his older brother’s hold and got on the train, getting out of Sonic’s reach before he could pull him away again
The quokka looked at the hedgehog one last time then climbed up the stairs themself leaving Sonic alone in the snow, through the window he could see Tails take a seat towards the back of the coach.
The train’s whistle cried out again in two short blasts, the metal relaxed and the train began to crawl along the tracks leaving the hedgehog behind.
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freebooter4ever · 3 months ago
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I've been doing my best to stay up to date on the boots brainfog fatigue lore for a while and I have two things to say. First, I am so glad the antibiotics are working and helping you and you're able to somewhat pause your symptoms. And second, your story is so terrifying I had no idea anything like this could happen and I hope the saga ends soon with you going back to a normal livable life.
Apologies for the slow reply, it took me a while to come to grips with my story being used as a 'lore' example. Legit i sometimes forget that i have a lot more followers than just the ones who talk to me on a regular / semi regular basis. So thank you to anyone who is quietly watching this painful illness play out and rooting for me <3 i hope it ends up being a happy ending, though my depression right now is being a witch and telling me it wont. As i type right now my eyes are doing the '300 times more effort to focus' thing because i ate dinner an hr ago, and im slowly getting used to putting this much work into something as simple as writing but...gosh this is all exhausting.
I didnt know this could happen either, but i cherish all the friends and strangers who have gone through this or are going through this who immediately reached out to support me. I've met one guy in person who was a casual friend until now, but who is becoming one of the few people i can randomly text depressing symptoms to and just know he at least semi understands. He also promised to take me on his motorcycle the minute i get back into a physically stable condition so i at least have a carrot on a stick at the moment.
I have also had a lot of really really enlightening conversations with my grandma who has MS, and she's told me stuff about her own illness that I don't think she ever would have divulged to me if this hadn't happened. And I now almost understand why. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to complain about a symptom and then have a friend or loved one immediately counter with 'oh, i have that!' and then go into detail about how they handle it when their symptom is obviously fleeting and passing and much less intense. Also, there's certain people in my life who i just cant get to understand how this illness is connected to food. Every time their response is 'I'm sorry you feel bad, let me make you something to eat' and i have given up trying to explain, lol.
I think it's also important for me to note that although my blog has seen a lot of this drama that i shared...the WORST parts of it i have not posted because i simply dont know how to process or talk about it yet. And also most of the worst moments happened while with my friend G, and when I'm at their house I tend to not need social media so much.
The funniest part in all this - it took a month for me to become so terrified of food because of the intense pain/reactions after eating, that I don't miss food at all despite my diet being severely limited. I miss peanut butter, although my reaction to peanut butter is not so bad that i can't eat it sometimes (but not daily like i used to). Strangely enough, I don't miss bread at all, except I do miss the easy convenient calories bread provided so I could run/dance/exercise. There is only one thing I have been craving this entire month....this fucker from 85c:
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I have dreams about this guy. I vividly remember the taste and texture and how it felt to bite into one. The joy of snacking on one in the California sun under the arroyo trees. I long to be able to eat it again ;_; But with how little food I've been able to eat, I can't afford to waste calories on anything that isn't packed with nutrition so :( no taro bun.
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