#amd write many fics

[garglyswoof]

I was inspired by @push1na 's amazing klaroline version of Klimt's The Kiss and so wrote a ficlet inspired by it This is me writing on my phone in an airport lounge so hopefully it comes out ok <3

--+++--

They come for him while the blooms are still bright, trampling them beneath an army of bootheels, and it's another point against them.

Because she loves the flowers, and he will have to get his minions to replant them when he crushes this threat. He often uses her own words, thrown at him with such vitriol years ago, just to see her eyes roll and barely hide the smile behind. But she's not here with him now. She is safe, he reassures himself.

It's only been a few years with her and he is greedy for a thousand of them. Last month he'd approached her here in this yard, in the suit she'd insisted he wear “for nostalgia reasons, obviously” with the blooms flowering their riotous colors in the golden light of sunset, and kissed her cheek as she stared at him with something that made his heart kick in his chest like a prey animal.

It was terrifying and joyous and his greedy, greedy heart cannot get enough.

He told her so, just a few days before, when he'd learned of this new vampire threat and sent her off to New Orleans despite her furious protests. He couldn't put it into words at the time, that losing her would break him worse than the hunter’s curse ever had. That to touch her was one thing, but to hear her spitfire words only made this stutter step in his heart worse. Instead he’d merely said ‘I need to keep you safe,’ and he knows it wasn't enough. 

He would enjoy his acts of contrition, truth be told, tangled in the sheets with his mouth tracing patterns on her skin.

The wind picks up then, ruffling his hair like it did her dress that golden-tinged summer evening, but this time it carries the scent of vampires instead of Caroline’s own. He keeps his pose casual, hands clasped behind his back, walking back towards the house and avoiding the wildflowers underfoot.  Let them think him clueless and weak, it made their destruction taste almost as sweet as the notes of jasmine in Caroline’s perf-

“No.”

“Yes,” she replies, and he looks up at her, standing in the doorway, her sundress abloom with flowers to match the yard, and his greedy heart thumps.

“They're almost here,.love. If I - if I,” he can't even say it, as if speaking the words could manifest them. He feels the impotent rage rise up, knows his next words will push her away.

Her hand cups his shoulder.and squeezes before he can betray himself. “I know.  But you won't. And you can't ask me to stay away when you're the one in danger. So you're just gonna have to learn to trust me. Plus you just gave me that fancy mini fridge and Im spoiled by how good the wine setting keeps blood at the perfect temperature.”

He grumbles at this, because he doesn't get her choice of diet when she could have it fresh from the tap, but he takes the hand at his shoulder, admiring the glint of sun off of some ancient queen’s ring he'd bestowed upon Caroline, you’ll forgive him for not remembering who, and kisses the palm of her hand, her wrist. 

Her intake of breath is a revelation, as it always is, that she is just as affected as he is. It makes him think that perhaps this madness that takes hold of his greedy heart isn't one-sided. He hoards her gasps like jewels in a dragon’s den. 

The thought steels him and his eyes are wild as he turns to face the onrush that he knows is upon them. Her hand stays clasped in his own, for a moment, and if he has the brief thought of never letting go, it is one borne of a poet’s thoughts that he’ll remember for later, when the path of his brush traps their moments together.

The sun descends, but she still shines to him, monster’s visage above the blooms of her dress, the neckline covered in blood, her hand clutching a still-beating heart. He only has a moment to appreciate her, his brilliant blonde distraction, before he turns back to the fray.

[asmoslverboy]

A moment of curiosity: Dottore. (male!reader) (also, not very serious of a fic.)

"So, you're basically saying that you killed a previous lover?" You ask him, furrowing your eyebrows. You weren't as scared as you were amazed. Intrigued, perhaps? I mean, not only did he manage to make a woman fall in love with him whlist his reputation was below the rocks— he also took her out on a date and killed her. And on top of that, he made it look like wild animals committed all those unspeakable crimes to her.

Dottore simply looks at you, his head cocked to the side, his lip curled as if he was two steps away from inviting you in his bed. "It is wonderful, is it not? I must admit, it was not one of my easiest feats back in the day, nor one of the most... rational ones, however, the reactions I recieved— nay, the situation received— were quite the satisfactory ones."

"So what you're telling me is that you were an impulsive, little attention seeker?"

"That's not quite what i–" Dottore stopped mid sentence, suddenly the correspondence of your words hitting him like a bunch of bricks that were caught up in a hurricane.

"This is not– there is no need to dwell on my past acts, my darling boy. They are not relevant to the current me in any shape, way, or form." He cleared his throat. "And she wasn't my lover, moreso just someone who happened to experience college crushes through my image."

With that, you sat on his lap, as you often did. "Would you have killed me, too, if I was in her place?" You were unserious in that matter, obviously, though Dottore seemed to take your question in the unintended sense.

"Entirely depends on how you'd have been in her place. If you were to simply act like her, with the only difference being your appearance; then I'm afraid the outcome would have been no different. However, if you were one who crushed on me in my days at the Akademiya, and you approached said crush as you did in our actual past, I'm certain that we'd have ended up in a similar position as we are now"

Does this man ever take breaths as speaks?

"Besides, my little prince, how would it be possible that you took her place, in order for that to—..."

Perhaps you should have never asked. Unfortunately for you, and for any passing by his office, he would not stop yapping about the scientific possibilities of the scenario you suggested.

[jamiethebeeart]

Sketches

[keicordelle]

Was I supposed to be writing an outline for a dmmd fic tonight? No.

Am I writing an outline for a dmmd fic tonight? ....maybe

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Cherry Boy. [l.c.]

Chapter One of "Losing it". Reminder that each chapter in this series is stand alone and can be read without reading any of the others!

A new relationship is always difficult to navigate, for Chan, it appears to be even more difficult. For you? You’re just left confused as to why your new boyfriend of a month and a half hasn’t made a move on you despite your very obvious attempts to invite him into your personal space.  You soon realize that your boyfriend is a virgin, and that’s why he’s always running away with his hands covering his bits, even through a simple goodnight kiss. 

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | reblog for chan's happy trail

WORDCOUNT― 10k

PAIRING― lee chan x afab reader 

CONTENT― brief break up due to horrible communication skills, virginity loss, reader gets super insecure about her body and personality, fluff, smut obv

NOTE― This is the reason I gave chan the first chapter in the series. It's because of those pics...you know the ones. Anyway, shoutout to @ressonancee and @onlyhuis for proof reading this for me! love u guys with my entire being!

smut tags under cut:: 

SMUT TAGS― virginity loss, makeout session, neck kissing, tit fondling, unprotected sex, belly button kissing, mentions and focus on his happy trail, he’s ticklish oops, blowjob, premature ejaculation, pussy drunk chan forgets how to speak, desperate sex babbling, finger fucking, hand and cock guiding, cream pie 

~

Chan has a dilemma, and yes, it’s one that most men would scoff at. 

Trust him when he says that he is so very aware of what is happening around him but he simply cannot manage to muster up the courage, strength, or confidence to admit to you, his lovely and patient girlfriend, that he’s dodging your advances solely because he is the text-book definition of virgin. 

He is not only nervous about having sex for the first time, but there also comes the weight of him either not being good enough when he tries, or you laughing in his face and mocking him for it.

You, on the other hand, wouldn’t be so fucking in your head if he really could just muster up a tiny amount of confidence to say that to you. 

It has been almost two months now since he asked you to be his girlfriend, and throughout this time never once has he done more than a gentle kiss to your lips or lying a slight guiding hand to your waist. It feels so… juvenile, so… middle school for a boyfriend to treat you this way. 

Seeing as how the first three dates you went on with him seemed to suggest he was more than willing to be a fulfilling boyfriend who can, hopefully, fill all of the roles that comes with the title– you’re starting to second guess that he ever liked you at all.

Perhaps the twenty-four year old man asked you that night to be his girlfriend out of pity. Or maybe he’s simply changed his mind about you. Regardless of the reason for why he acts like this, it’s getting to you.

Deeply, actually, by this point. It only stung a bit at first, but now it’s starting to feel like he has to be with you as a joke. Why else would he be consistent in wanting to hang out? Why else would he always be inviting you out on well-priced dates and buying you pretty gifts? 

It’s a joke. 

It has to be a joke. 

Oh, but that’s so far from the truth. If you would simply open your eyes, perhaps you’d notice the struggle that your polite little boyfriend goes through each time you try to suggest he make an advance on you. 

Even the slight kisses, it makes him suffer from embarrassment at how quickly his body reacts to you. 

He likes you so, so fucking much.

~

“I don’t think I’m feeling it today.” You respond to the muffled voice of your “boyfriend” on the phone, asking if he can come over to see you. 

“What? Why not?” He asks back, his voice concerned. 

“Do you want me to be honest?” You finally say with a long and annoyed sigh, giving up on any hope that this relationship will ever go any further than it already has. 

You’re fed up with feeling unwanted, undesired, and possibly even uninteresting. He’s the one person in your life that you care about when it comes to who you are and what you look like. His reaction, or lack thereof, regarding you as both a person and his girlfriend feels astonishing and does nothing more than make you question what it is that you’re doing wrong. 

It has to be you, right? Perhaps your body isn’t as pretty as he wants it to be, is that it? Or maybe your voice annoys him? God, what if he cringes thinking of how you’d move if he were to actually have sex with you? What if he doesn’t think about it at all? 

You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying not to let the intense insecurity weigh on you. You always promised yourself that you’d never let a man make you rethink your worth. 

You need to live up to that promise. 

“Chan, it’s been nice and all, but I think we should break up.” 

The silence he offers to you is entirely too loud, and feels more like a confirmation in your head that this is the exact choice you should be making right now. 

He’s thrown for a loop though, standing at his kitchen table staring off at the wall as you say those words. 

What did he do wrong? 

“Wha–” He cuts himself off, trying to find words to say. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?” 

You let out another breathy sigh, annoyed at the way he plays dumb. 

“I’m shocked you’re asking me that. I’ve been wondering if you were ever going to break up with me yourself, y’know?” You let out a sad little chuckle before you feel that insecurity he instilled in you burn against your eyes. “I’m just making it easy for you, so that you can go and spend your time with someone that you’d rather be around.”

He pauses, still dumbfounded by what you’re saying. 

“Why are you saying that?” He bellows out in a deeper tone, making you feel as though he’s angry with you now. “I’d rather be around you.” 

“Oh? Is that right?” You roll your eyes now, annoyed. “Is that why you push me away when I try to kiss you? Or what about– what about when you left the party last week after I sat on your lap?” 

Ah. He knew it. He knew he should have admitted it. Despite his consistent apologies for his body acting on instinct to run away from you, he should have really tried to see from your point of view rather than his own. Even if he only ran to hide the fact that he is horribly aroused by you at all times, in every given moment. 

You can hear a pained groan fall from his lips, and a door opening on his end. 

“I’m coming over.” 

He doesn’t let you protest, and instead hangs up the phone. You sit there in silence at his rejection of your break up. As if it were his choice? As if he had any say in it? You want to break up, that’s final. 

Still, that doesn’t explain why you don’t call him back to tell him not to come. It also doesn’t explain why your heart is thumping against your chest in anticipation.

Or, maybe there is something to explain why you’re feeling butterflies over his blatant refusal. Perhaps, this is the first time you’ve felt wanted by him? 

That also makes it worse. Why should your boyfriend make you feel this way only when you’re breaking up with him? Why can you only see that he cares when he’s faced with the idea of losing you? By the way he’s acting, you can argue that he wouldn’t be losing anything precious to him if you were to walk out of his life right this moment. 

Still, you sit here in wait. More curious now to see if maybe you'll figure out why he refuses to look at or touch you in a way that would show you he wants you.

~

The first thing Chan does when he steps through the door of your apartment is slip his shoes off. The second thing he does is stand there awkwardly, as if every thought left his head upon seeing your face.

You look like you’ve been crying. 

“This is my fault.” He says with a slight crack in his voice. “Because I keep hiding from you….right?”

You nod silently, remaining on your couch that faces his timid and stiffened figure. 

He stares at you, examining the consequences of his own actions. 

“You want to break up because I haven’t tried to, like, do things with you.” He winces as he says it, struggling to not feel awkward talking about having sex. He’s embarrassed, but would be even more embarrassed if he lost a girlfriend over this. 

“That’s not the only reason.” You shake your head, looking away from him and to your hands as you pick at your nail beds. “I’d be okay with no sex if you’d simply tell me why. The fact that you haven’t told me anything–” Your voice cracks a little bit, feeling stupid for being so emotional over such a short lived relationship. “It kind of destroyed my confidence.”

He watches the way you refuse eye contact, which is something that stabs him directly in the stomach. He can feel it drop to the floor, adrenaline making its way into that empty space you’re creating for him. 

“Before we break up, I just want to know why it took this for you to act like you genuinely might have feelings for me.” 

He stumbles over his thoughts the same way he stumbles over his feet trying to approach you. 

By now, he doesn’t think he can ever feel more embarrassed than he does at this moment. He crouches down in front of you, sad that you didn’t laugh at the way he nearly knocked himself out on your living room floor. Then he looks at you, chasing your line of sight as if to reassure you through nothing but the air in the room.

“I was afraid you’d laugh at me.” He starts, and after seeing that your expression doesn’t change even a little bit, he continues. “You seemed so into me that I–” He takes a deep breath, willing himself to be as honest as he can be. “I just didn’t know how to act.” 

You look at him with irritation at those words. 

“Of course I was fucking into you. Why else would I have agreed to be your girlfriend?” You roll your eyes, pushing yourself back into the couch cushions and away from his crouched body. “Think about how I feel. The fact that you just watch me throw myself at you time and time again? The fact that you rejected me every single time? How is that not giving you the answers you need as to why I’m breaking up with you?”

He takes note of that heightened voice of yours, defensive and likely more hurt than you’re letting on. 

“Listen–” He breathes in, trying to internally hype himself up to bite the bullet. 

You were listening, but he’s keeping whatever it is he’s thinking about in his head for just a second too long. 

“No, I think we’re done h-” 

“I’m a virgin.” He interrupts you, lowering his gaze to the floor and refusing eye contact with you. 

Your eyes shoot to him though. The last thing you would have expected was for him to be a–

“You’re–” You try to repeat his words for confirmation, but he interrupts you again. 

“I can promise you it’s not because I don’t want to do these things with you.” He says, still staring at the floor. “It’s because I was afraid that you’d lose interest over it.” 

Your mouth falls open as you look at him, every feeling of frustration in your body disappearing almost immediately. 

“It’s because I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to, like, be any good at it.” He continues to admit. “I was trying to work up the courage to tell you, or to just like, do it.” He rambles, now scooting back and standing up to his feet. “And if you still want to break up, I understand. I just thought I at least owed you an explanation.” 

You watch as he nods to himself in an unsure way, turns on his heel, and heads back to the door to slip his shoes back on. 

You sit in stunned silence as your brain erases every single insecurity you gained over this month and a half relationship before jumping to your feet. If anyone could have been more insecure about this than you were, it was him. And now that you can see that, the guilt hits you twice as hard as the presumed break up would have. 

“You’re a virgin?” You ask, though that wasn’t at all the words you intended to say. “I mean, you kept pushing me away because you didn’t want to disappoint me?”

He nods timidly, halting his body and still refusing to look at you. 

He has one shoe on, and his other foot half in the other when you make your way over to him, closing the distance quickly and confidently.

“Don’t leave.” You say first, before physically moving his body for him to remove that foot from his half-on shoe. “Chan, I’m your girlfriend. We can wait for as long as you need, I just...”

You pause, now feeling annoyed with yourself for making it about you. Then again, it’s not like you could read his mind. Though, thinking back to all of those instances where he pulled away from you before, perhaps you could have read context clues a little better. 

“I didn’t know–” You trail off, now determined to save the relationship that both of you accidentally started to sink. “Did I make you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

He feels…relieved by your words. Saying you could wait, asking what it is that made him so afraid to admit it. 

Finally, he presses one foot against his other, pulling his foot out of his shoe and stepping back, looking at you with eyes fonder than you’ve ever seen them.

“It’s not that I felt I couldn’t tell you. I was just embarrassed.”

You very nearly coo out at him, but you keep your distance with both your words and your body now. 

“It’s not that I’m not ready to lose it. Especially with you.” He admits, glancing at you for a reaction before sighing. “I think I’ve been ready for a long time, again, I was just embarrassed and also knew that I should probably tell you at some point…”

“You want to give your virginity to me?”

You watch as he blows his hair up through puckered lips, rolling his eyes before smiling at you.

“It’s not that I view virginity as sacred or anything either. There’s just a lot of weight that people tend to put on it, and I wasn’t sure how you’d react.” He tries to explain as his body relaxes by the minute. “I wanted you to be my first time, yeah. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I knew I wanted you to be the one to show me what all the hype is about.”

You’d laugh if it weren’t for the fact that this is still kind of a touchy subject. You’re not entirely sure how you feel about being someone’s first time, but you know you have feelings for him and to deny him of sex after you blatantly wanted it so bad from him…Okay, maybe you’re just in your head. Of course you’d be happy to be his first time. 

Ecstatic even. 

“So….” You sway on your feet, looking up at the ceiling before landing your eyes on him playfully. “It’s not because you think I’m disgusting or like, not living up to the standards you want for a girlfriend?”

“Jesus, no.” He says. 

You watch him scratch the back of his head, still probably embarrassed by how low this relationship had fallen due to the awful communication skills. 

“And you’re also kind of admitting that you have thought about it?” You continue, prying out the words you’ve wanted to hear so badly since you met him. 

He pulls back only a little bit, his cheeks warming at the words and the way his brain automatically thrusts him into the thoughts of all of those nights where he absolutely fucking thought about it. 

“Y-yeah. Yes. I have thought about it.” He nods in a self-reassuring way as his eyes land on everything in the room but you. 

You’re quick to give him your own reassurance though, trying to learn his boundary now that the secret is out and the relationship appears to have a second chance at succeeding. 

He can feel you close in on him, wrapping your arms around his middle and nuzzling your face against his neck. There, he holds you back, breathing in deep and feeling the scent of you wash through his body. 

Quite literally actually. As he would normally avoid, his lower half reacts far too quickly to even the simplest of touches from you. 

He pulls back on instinct, but you don’t release your grip this time. 

“You seem as ready as ever, I’ll admit.” You laugh upon feeling him stiffen against you, but you really do try not to shame him for it. “Still, we can wait until you feel ready enough to give it a shot, okay?”

He nods, entirely reassured by the way you don’t press up against it or comment any further about the happenings in his pants right now. Then he sighs out. 

“I can imagine I must look like an idiot right now, getting hard over a fucking hug.” He finally says as he pulls from the hug and makes his way back to your living room. “But we’re okay, right? You’re not breaking up with me?”

You follow after him, keeping your sexual distance, but absolutely indulging in the loving, sweet, and careful cuddling you’ve wanted to do with him for so long now. 

He appears comfortable when you tuck yourself under his arm and rest your head on his chest before answering him.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” You say, feeling his chest heave with each breath and intentionally ignoring the blatant tent in his pants slowly fall back into its flaccid position as he calms down. “It’s kinda cute, you know? That you were so worried about it.” 

His cheeks are still on fire, willing his body to calm itself through this sweet session of cuddling. He doesn’t want to ruin the moment with you, and still, it is embarrassing in the way he knows you’re ignoring it for his sake too.

But goddamn, how heavenly it would be for you to like, touch it right now…..or something. 

“Never thought of it as cute, if I’m being honest.” He tries to joke. “If anything, maybe it's a little pathetic on my part.”

You shake your head against him, feeling more confident of your place in his life. 

“Pathetic? Don’t be mean to yourself. Besides, it’s kind of hot knowing that you got so turned on over a simple hug.” You laugh, hoping you’re not crossing a boundary. “No wonder you ran so fast when I sat on your lap, I definitely would have felt that on me.”

“Alright, alright–” He tries to hush you of your playful remarks, but ultimately, if you really think it’s an attractive aspect of whatever sexual dynamic the two of you will come to have, he’s going to make damn sure you see just how fucking turned on you make him. 

~

Things are good. Great even, now that you can pin point each moment your boyfriend gets a little too overwhelmed with you. He does still push you away, probably out of instinct but he doesn’t shy away nearly as much from intimate moments with you. Especially if the two of you are alone together. 

You’re a bit more careful in public or with friends though, because the last thing you want to do is make him feel insecure about it. Still, there are playful moments where you indulge in the act of touching him or kissing him just to get him excited, just to watch him stutter his way through ordering something. 

The point is, you almost ended a relationship with someone who, arguably, makes you feel more wanted than you ever knew you could. It’s nice, and it feels good. 

Even now, this is only your second full on make-out session with him, you feel absolutely adored. It’s cute in the way he’s trying to train himself to not get hard at even the simplest of touches, it’s even cuter when his efforts fail miserably and he’s arching his body away from you as if he could even hide what he’s packing. 

You don’t push for more, despite wanting it badly. He also doesn’t push…despite also wanting it just as much as you do, if not more. He still seems to need a push of confidence to actually go any further than a nice, non-body touching makeout session. 

This is fine though, and you indulge far more than you ever knew you would when it comes to this kind of thing. As if simply licking into his mouth is foreplay enough to counter a fucking blowjob for him. 

Never in your life did you think you’d be this into the fact that your boyfriend is a virgin. And it’s not even that he’s never had sex, it’s that he seems to want it so bad, and there’s just something about a man who is desperate that gets you going these days. 

Still, kissing him is something that fulfills you, especially with the way he’s avoiding his lower half and keeping it away from you. 

He kisses you back in a telling way though, more telling than that tent in his sweatpants that you can visualize even while your eyes are closed. He radiates the arousal through the way he moves his lips against yours, and the way he lets out little suffering sounds when you kiss him harder and harder. 

His hands stay against your face, neck, and sometimes your waist, but god. His kissing is genuinely just so good with the way it tells on him every few seconds. 

And when he pulls back, he’s out of breath, flushed, and looking as if he would want nothing more than for you to hint, to lay down some sort of implication that he can cling to for relief from the heaviness that’s been in his pants since the fucking relationship started.

You wonder if tonight is the night, because he doesn’t appear to want to stop making out like he did last time. If anything, as he looks at you with those heaving breaths, you can tell he’s thinking harder than he ever has about it. 

“Chan,” You whisper out to him, just inches from his face. “Do you think of me?”

When he keeps his eyes on you, seemingly stunned by your question, you continue. 

“Do you think of me after you leave? When you’re all by yourself in your room–” You turn your head so that your eyes can trail to the space he is attempting to keep from you. “When you’re touching yourself?” 

He feels the words run straight through him, causing an utterly pathetic twitch in his pants. The way your voice comes out soft and sensual as you ask him, as you look at him. He doesn’t even remember words at this moment, not even a simple “yes”. 

He tries to answer by losing a little bit of his self control, turning your head back to him with his palm just so he can chase against your lips out of the sheer arousal, but you pull away. 

“Do you?” You continue, encouraging him to answer you. 

“So much,” He wills himself to whisper confidently, ignoring the fact that his body just forced him to rut up and against nothing, all for you to see. “Every time I leave,” He puts emphasis on his words. “Sometimes I can’t even make it home first.” 

You smile at the image of him rubbing against himself in his car, so desperate to relieve himself of what you do to him each time he comes to see you. Not even making it out of the seatbelt before releasing all over himself, all in his pants. Shaking, panting, all alone and without you. 

“Cute,” You chuckle, finally turning your head slightly and landing a pop kiss on him. “I think of you when I do it too, every time you leave.” 

He looks at you, willing his hips to stay put as he thinks about the image of you doing that in this very room, to images and thoughts of him. 

“You do?” He asks for reassurance easily.

“Mhm,” You look away from him as you sit straight up and then scoot down the bed. There, you lay yourself down against your pillows and look at him. “Come here.” 

He’s reluctant to take your hand. But even he can admit that this side by side makeout session is starting to hurt his neck, and you’re clearly asking him to get on top of you right now. 

“You don’t have to but, Chan–” You say, looking down, “I don’t want you to leave this time.” 

Well, shit, all you had to do was say that. Honestly, the way you look at him with pure acceptance is enough to push him past the wall in his head that keeps him from finally trying to take the next step. You accept him as he is now, surely you’d accept him if he…. doesn’t last, right? What about if he isn’t good at it? 

Still, he finds himself planting one hand on the other side of your head to balance himself on top of you. Still just hovering, not yet wanting or willing to, you know, put it against you. 

You smile. 

“It’s okay, I can tell you’re nervous. We don’t have to do anything else, I’m happy with just this.”

And then you both fall back into another, much more comfortable and natural feeling, makeout session. 

As much as you’d love for him to try and take control, his reluctance allows you to contain yourself. It allows you to respect him and his decision of whether or not he wants to do anything more than this. Still, this satisfies you. And if he really does stay, maybe he wouldn’t be entirely against watching you take care of your own arousal for him. Maybe he’d feel better watching even, taking notes on what you like, learning where to touch you. 

And you know, that really would have been okay but you can’t help but feel like he’s definitely wanting more. With the way his lips grow hungrier rather than more tired, with the way he’s starting to moan shamelessly into your mouth, with the way his hands are trying to travel to more intimate places on your body before stopping himself. 

You might be pushing it with the assumption, but it doesn’t hurt to try and help him, right?

When you feel his hands moving to your waist, up, up, and up until they’re just barely brushing against the underside of your breast, he pulls back again and pulls your shirt down to cover the exposed skin, all while kissing you harder.

You place your hand over his, wasting not even a second as you guide him back under your shirt, right up to where you know he wants to touch. 

And holy fuck does he. He doesn’t even pull back when you lay it against the warm and exposed flesh from under your shirt. His hand immediately starts groping. His lips immediately stutter against you in a relieved sigh from him, and all you can do is kiss him now with the same energy he seems to have in that one single hand. 

“You’re allowed to touch me, but if you need help doing it, just tell me–” You pull back to whisper, trying to take it another step further in the act of kissing against his jaw and down his neck. “I want to touch you too, but I’ll keep my hands to myself unless you tell me otherwise.”

It’s like he really forgets how to talk or give proper consent when his entire body is acting like a fucking greenlight for you right now. He feels so pathetic, on the verge of orgasm with nothing more than the soft fabric of his sweatpants to relieve him, and yet your breast in his hand, nipple hardening under his palm before he musters the courage to put it between his fingers, it’s a lot to take in, okay?

Still, he tries to say something, and he’s even more embarrassed by the way his voice sounds like it isn’t even his own. He sounds broken when the sound reaches his ears. 

“Don’t–” He starts, cutting himself off at the feeling of your lips kissing against the pulse point of his neck. 

“Hm?” You ask, pulling back and away, hoping you didn’t press too much. 

“Don’t stop.” He mutters out again, a little less embarrassed now that he feels you sigh against that same pulse point with the way his fingers fondle your nipple mindlessly. “Don’t keep your hands to yourself.”

Your brain falls into a stunned silence at his words, bringing a type of nervousness to bubble up in your own body. Is this really it? Is this when it’s going to happen? On a saturday night, against your pillows, muffled cartoons playing in the background…..past ten in the evening? 

You can’t help it as you kiss against his neck. You really can’t, with the way he opens himself up to be vulnerable with you while actively being on top of you, while playing with your breasts, while containing himself.

He seems to need you to do the pushing, but you really cannot shake the nervousness of being his first. You’re almost certain he is nervous about so many things, but still he appears to be eager to try. He’s eager to be with you, and, ultimately, to know what it feels like to be with another person that matters to him in that way. 

“Is there–” You stop, breath caught in your throat, only to fall out against his throat when he finally seems to have the confidence to make his first move. One that would seem so small to anyone else, but he– he raises a hand and holds the back of your neck, trying to press your lips and guide them to the area of his neck that he wants you to kiss. 

And you do, with blatant encouragement to him for doing that, all while trying to finish your previous thought. 

“Is there anything you want me to do for you?” You ask, kissing and now, licking against the spot on his neck that makes him shiver. 

He sighs in a shudder, craning his neck to expose more skin for you before his hand stills against your nipple and he pulls his hand from your shirt. 

“All of it?” He starts, a bit unsure of himself. “Everything?” He adds, pulling himself back from your lips and watching you fall back to your pillows. He leans his body up, relieving his legs from his weight and sitting on his heels in front of you, only slightly between your legs now. 

You can see that he has a bit more confidence with the way he’s looking at you. 

“I want to try all of it.” He continues, placing two hands on your knees, pushing your legs together and using his palms to make them sway left and right. It’s as if he’s thinking hard. “I mean, if you want to.”

You smile. 

You want nothing more than to do this with him, for him, and for yourself. 

“Yeah?” You ask for confirmation, now lifting yourself and re-positioning yourself onto your knees to mimic his own stance. 

He nods in a blatant and shy way, knowing that you can physically see how badly he wants this, and how badly he wants you to be the one to do this with him. He’s achingly hard, and he isn’t sure if he’s ever managed to get this fucking hard in his entire life.

It really is painfully arousing, with the way his pants stretch against the head when he’s sitting like this. The way the fabric offers little to no sensation but while looking at you, he feels all fucked up and warm. He tries to forget that there’s precum all over him, seeping through the pants that are presented before you, and god, the way you look right at it. 

He doesn’t shy away despite being as shy as he could possibly be right now. In fact, when your eyes trail back up to him, licking your lips before smiling, he a fucking goner. He knew he wanted you bad, but never did he know he needed you this badly. 

He’s so fucking lucky. 

“It looks… big.” You comment, leaning forward only slightly and sizing your boyfriend up. “But for your sake, I’ll try to control myself from moving too fast. I’ll go slow, okay?”

He doesn’t even nod, he’s too entranced with you in front of him, fully clothed, lifting his own shirt off of him as if he is incapable of doing it himself. Then again, he kind of is incapable at this moment. He swears his IQ must’ve dropped to a single digit by this point. 

And when that shirt comes up and over his head, you note that he doesn’t even blink. That small moment where his face was obscured as you pulled it off of him? His eyes stayed on you both before and after, only now– his hair is a total fucking mess and all you can do is feel endeared by it. 

“God, you’re so fucking attractive,” You groan in sexual frustration with an eyeroll. “I can’t believe someone hasn’t jumped your bones yet.”

Now he breaks eye contact at the praise, glancing away from you and trying his hardest not to smile like an idiot at those words. 

“To be fair, I’ve fucked up my fair share of relationships being embarrassed.” He laughs. “Kinda glad I did though.”

You land your eyes back on him, staring blankly at his naked chest and trying your damnedest not to look at him like he’s some piece of meat. But goddamn, the body of this man. 

“Come here, switch places with me.” You smile, reaching forward and trying not to think too hard about the way his arms flex when you grip them to move him. “Here, lay back.” 

And within seconds, you’re between his legs and looking down at his half-lidded, arousal driven eyes. 

“Fuck, really?” You groan again, glancing away. “It’s really taking everything in me, Chan, it really is.”

His heart is doing flips as he stares up at you. He feels doted on, adored, attractive. So he encourages more of those annoyed praises from you. 

“Taking everything in you to…?” 

You chuckle, because the audacity of this drunk and in love fool. 

“Do you have any idea how badly I’ve wanted to be in this exact position?” You smile, reaching down to run your fingers down his chest and straight to that happy trail that he so readily hid from you. “It’s taking everything in me to slow down–”

“Then don’t.” He says proudly, albeit still a bit shy at your words. 

You can see how red his ears are, only partially hidden by that head of messy ass hair. His stupid pretty eyes and gentle smile are directed straight at you without any type of reluctance. 

“There’s my confident boyfriend.” You chuckle, toying with the hair beneath his belly button and trying to not comment on the way his body jumps a bit at the feeling. “Was wondering where he went after he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

And he remains silent after that, watching the way you take the reins and lean down to kiss against that same spot of his neck. Warm breath fanning over the skin before attaching yourself there. 

Surely you can feel the way his hips react, humping up at each flutter of your lips. If you couldn’t, he knows for a fact that you’ll be able to now. With the way you trail down, across his own sensitive nipples, and then down, down, down. 

He glances down at you at the same time when you glance up at him and right then and there he thinks he melts. He’s never seen a woman look at him from this angle, and it’s only a little bit detrimental to his heavy and pathetic cock. The twitching never stops, he feels so fucking sticky in his pants and it really just doesn’t stop. Continuous leaking, and he really had no idea that there could even be this much pre-cum. 

Then, he’s pulled out of his thoughts with….a tickle?

“Oh?” You smile, leaning down to repeat that lick up his happy trail before landing a kiss straight on his belly button. 

His body jumps again, and he lets out a moaned chucked unintentionally. 

“Oh.” You smile wider, gripping both of his hips with your hands and holding him down in a playful way. Repeating the act once again. 

Your suspicions are confirmed with a third jump of his body, and another chuckled, frustrated moan. 

“So, he’s ticklish too?” You say with another kiss against his belly button before fluttering your fingers at the side of his hips. 

His entire body goes rigid before melting against the bed in an attempt to not react to the way you take advantage of a hidden weakness he had. God, he should have known that…like, sex stuff could be ticklish. 

“No– I’m not.” He lies, jolting again when you continue to test the resilience he thinks he has against your lips and fingers. “Hey–!”

And, well, you would’ve stopped if it weren’t for the fact that his hips raise with each tickled sensation, and you can genuinely feel how damp and heavy he is in his pants. It’s entirely arousing in the way its weight is obvious through his attempts to wiggle from your ticklish touches. 

“Alright,” You finally relent, landing one final kiss to his belly before licking down that same line of hair he offers his body. “Chan, I want to–”

His hips immediately raise to your words, the wetness from your tongue feels like ice against his skin when the air hits it and at this point, he thinks he knows what you’re suggesting. 

“Please–” He nearly cries out in a stutter. “Touch it.”

You smile as you nuzzle your nose against his abdomen before giving him a short nod that you know he doesn’t see. Considering, well, he just threw his arm over his face and keeps his hips tensed, and his ass only slightly lifted off of the bed. 

Desperate. Willing. 

You prepare yourself for seeing it for the first time by not seeing it at all just yet. Instead, you kiss down until your lips are met with warm, damp fabric. Immediately you can feel his length twitch under your lips when you reach it, and all you can manage to do is flatten your tongue out and against it to feel it pulse again. 

And again, until that same arm thrown over his face reaches down in a desperate attempt to take the pants off for you. He’s the one losing his self control now, no embarrassment or nervousness in sight from him, and it’s so fucking attractive to see him do it.

His shaking fingers fumbling with the waistband, shoving the pants down just an inch or so more to reveal more of that trimmed hair.

You don’t comment on the way he’s acting out of fear that it’ll make him feel shamed or even mocked, despite you truly believing it might just be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen a man do in front of you. 

Instead, you help him. Sinking your own fingers beneath his pants and tugging them down all in one go before allowing your eyes to land on it. 

“Jesus fucking christ.” He moans out, the air alone offering an overwhelming amount of sensation due to the temperature change he now feels between his legs. 

You finally look at it, so dark in color. As if all of the blood in his body resides only here. You gently move your hand just over it, feeling the heat radiate from him, seeing the precum continuously dribble from the head, and then, finally– 

“You’re so….” You trail off, in awe of the way his body just….keeps reacting. So much pre-cum. “Hard.” 

He releases a broken little sound at the feeling of your fingers finally touch him, and it feels insanely different from when he touches it himself. As if he’s not in control of his pleasure, and it’s all just you. You are the one who feels good against him. 

You’re shocked briefly when his hand makes it’s way back down to yours, grabbing it and essentially trying to get you to stimulate him more. He puts so much pressure against your hand, sandwiching it between his own palm and stiffened cock. 

You’re tuly in awe. This man has essentially edged himself to a world record, surely. 

“Slow down,” You try to soothe him, moving your hand against him and watching him retract his hand. “Relax, It must feel good, right?”

That little sob he lets out shows you his frustration. So needy, so ready. And even with you moving your fingers to circle his pulsing length, his hips continuously fuck up, not allowing him to have even a moment without a forceful amount of stimulation. 

“So good,” He moans, entire brain focused on what your hand is doing and unable to open his eyes. “I want it so bad.”

You don’t think he hears you chuckle and you’re thankful he doesn’t. You can imagine he would genuinely be embarrassed to know you’re witnessing his pure blissed-out and aroused-state of mind right now. 

And it’s not shocking that he’s entirely focused on himself at this moment, because he’s the one experiencing this for the first time. Even if you find it hard to believe that another woman has never touched his dick, you’re entirely flattered that it very well may be the case and that he wanted you to be the one to make him feel this good. 

“I’ll give it to you, just relax. I’m not going to stop.” You reassure his needy movements, and the way his body squirms at the slightest of touches. “What feels good?”

God, he’s so frustrated. 

“All of it.” He groans shortly, trying to take in a deep breath and just relax like you asked him too. 

You nod to his closed eyes and slacked mouth, fighting against his hips to be the one to pleasure him rather than himself and only when you blow a gentle breath against the head of his cock do his hips still and he shoots his hands up to your pillows, gripping them as if he’s preparing for something. 

You watch intently at the way he’s actively fighting to move now, waiting impatiently for you to do something now. Licking his lips, chewing on his bottom lip– god, he’s so pretty up there. 

Then, you grant him a new sensation. Only because by this point you’re the one who is about to lose control. 

You stick out your tongue and lick all the way from his balls to the head of his cock, making sure to keep pressure against it so that you can taste all of the arousal he’s spilled up until now. And while you were going to pull back to examine his reaction, this is the part where you release your self control.

The taste alone was enough to have you moaning, vibrating your voice against the vein of his length and then circling your lips around the head. 

Instantly, you suck at the feeling of pre-cum still pouring out of him. This time, there seems to be more. Coating your tongue with an almost sweetened salty taste. 

You feel briefly the way his hips chase the new warmth, clearly wanting to tuck itself into your mouth and quite possibly, down your throat, but you pull back and blow once again against the head. 

His entire body shivers as you glance up at him. 

You can barely comprehend just how into you he looks right now before rolling your own eyes in arousal at the image before immediately giving him everything your mouth has to offer.

Who cares if he comes too fast? Fucking look at him. You’d be stupid not to suck the absolute life out of him! That’s your boyfriend up there, chewing on his bottom lip, eyes sparkling through hooded lids, chest heaving–

And god, you almost wish he wasn’t as big as he is because it’s difficult to keep your eyes open when you take it in. You have to focus on sliding it through your lips, against your tongue, and right up to the back of your throat where the head of his cock bumps.

He can feel the way your fingers grip his legs through it, and by this point he has gone entirely non-verbal at the feeling. 

The only sound he can make comes from deep within his chest, and he can only release those sounds with heaved out and rigid breaths. His heart is pumping faster and faster the deeper you managed to take him, and–

“Ah! W-wait!” He panics, sitting straight up and becoming fucking floored at the way you stay on him. Moving your hands to his stomach and trying to shove him back. “Fuck,” He seethes as he takes in a sharp inhale, legs shaking as he flops back against the pillows. “Fuck, i’m sorry.” He continues to murmur, feeling himself hit the wall of orgasm and practically pulverize it. 

And you, oh, you. You taste it. You feel the twitching and the way his muscles stiffen under your fingers. You can hear him muttering apologies as it spills into your mouth, down your throat, and even out of the corners of your lips. 

You try to take all of it, up until you can’t fucking breathe, and only then do you pull up and replace your mouth with your hand, watching in awe at the way he just……

It doesn’t fucking stop. 

He went from rigid to stammering his words, to now blatantly and full-on moaning through both the pleasure and frustration of losing the warmth of your mouth. 

“God, Chan….” You whisper in a raspy voice, slowing your hands and intentionally pumping it out of him by now. 

“I’m sorry–” He stammers, body still shaking as you pull the rest of it out of him. “I tried to,” He winces with another unintentional moan. “I didn’t think it would feel that good.”

You smile both proudly and fondly, watching him stumble through his words and whatever excuse he tries to come up with. 

“I don’t think you know how hot you look right now.” You finally say, in a more stern voice. “You couldn’t have stopped me if you wanted to.” 

Only now, when he’s absolutely drenched himself in his release does he open his eyes in a drowsy way. He looks at you and that little smile on your lips and decides that, yeah, he can believe you. He trusts you, and he’s entirely obsessed with you. 

“But we still haven’t–”

You cut him off quickly.

“We have all night. All day tomorrow. All week, month, year. I don’t care.” You dead-pan, reaching for his, somehow, still hard length. “Chan.” You add, gripping it and testing the actual hardness of it. “You’re still hard, which is fucking amazing by the way, and you have no idea how wet I am right now.”

Oh, my god. He forgot. 

“You– you’re turned on?” He asks, looking away from you. 

“So fucking turned on.” You confirm for him, now releasing his length to give him a bit of a rest, considering he must not realize he’s still shaking. “Look, feel.” 

You say it as you crawl up and on top of him, seating yourself right up against his abdomen and grabbing his hand. 

He just stares, watching you guide his hand straight to the seat of your shorts. 

“Oh.” He sighs out. 

“Even through my shorts. See? Feel it.” You continue to move his hand against you, trying not to rut your own hips up much like he was doing before. 

Brain malfunction. He doesn’t even have a fucking IQ at this point as his cock immediately reacts in all of it’s sensitive, pathetic glory. 

“Do you want me to, um,” He swallows around a breath he didn’t know he needed. “touch you? Can I try?”

You sigh, relieved that he’s willing and immediately push yourself off of him and take care of all of the busy-work as quickly as possible. ie: taking off your clothes.

Unfortunately, you somehow briefly forgot that the man is still a fucking virgin. You can very nearly see his mouth fall open at your nude body being revealed to him. Even more so, you can see the dribble of saliva that he doesn’t quite catch fast enough, and his cock reacts. 

“You’re so cute, god.” You praise with the same compliment you’ve been giving him all night. 

And when you seat yourself next to him, hugging one of his arms and tucking it between your legs before closing your thighs around it, you smile at him and the way he literally cannot stop staring with his mouth agape. 

“Babe, you’re drooling.” You chuckle, shifting your hips a bit to rub yourself against his knuckles, where you’re still hugging his arm. 

Only then does he slurp up his embarrassment and try to remain calm. His fogged brain comes back to him quickly upon your comments as he wills himself to sit up beside you. 

He gets to….touch you. 

And boy does he. 

Eagerly, messily, and quite frankly, kind of embarrassingly. 

You make it easier for him though, laughing as you flop back and spread your legs for him. He’s quick to simply…explore. He’s not aiming for any singular area of your pussy because to be quite honest, he’s still struggling to stop staring at the entirety of you. 

You watch his eyes, the way they stare at your tits, then your thighs, your pussy being petted by his fingertips, and then– eye contact. 

He seems so sure of himself despite still managing to barely touch the clit. It doesn’t bother you one bit, because his eager fingers still find ways to touch you beautifully. There’s so much intent behind the messy movements. 

Slipping and sliding two fingers between your lips, up your folds, and then stopping just short of your clit before sliding back down and feeling where his cock would go if he manages to make it this far. 

I mean, surely he will, right? He’s losing his virginity as he does this right now, even. Foreplay still counts, right? 

And then, after several minutes of him exploring, learning, and practically teasing you half to death, you reach down to guide him. 

“Right here,” You soothe out in a soft voice, pressing his fingers against your clit and seeing him take note of it. “And here.” You trail his fingers down until they reach your clenched hole, and you very slightly press against his fingers so that the tips just barely enter you. 

He tilts his head at you, concentrating on where you lead him before releasing his hand and essentially leaving him to his own devices now. 

And you know, he did tell you he was a quick learner, because almost immediately he’s experimenting with putting a finger into you, and using his other hand to find a rhythm to rub against your clit. 

The whole time, he checks for your reaction, noting when your breathing hitches and when your body tenses. He continues, trying to only do things that make your body react and soon, you’re already turning to mush beneath him.

His fingers circle and tap your clit at a quick pace, with the other twisted inside of you. When he slides his finger out, and then back in, he rubs your clit harder, and god, yeah. Okay. You see his effort, and it’s such a good fucking effort too.

“Feels good,” You finally moan out for him, allowing yourself to give in to the pure arousal of the entire situation taking place. Thinking hard about what it would feel like to have such a desperate cock inside of you. “Use two fingers?” 

He listens instantly, moaning along with you when he slides the other in with the next thrust. His fingers against your clit trail down shortly after, curiosity getting the best of him when he spreads your lips open to see you stretch around his fingers. 

“It’s so warm–” He comments more to himself than to you, watching the way you pulse around him, watching the way your slick seeps out of you. It’s so hot for him to see it up close like this, and his pace slows at the image before him. “Can you take more than two?”

You lift your head in amazement at how he could ask such a thing. 

“Chan.” You smile at the way he jumps in surprise at your sudden, louder voice. Fingers nearly slipping out of you. “I can take way more than just two fingers.” You glance down between his legs. “Way, way more.”

He glances down to what you’re looking at before letting out an embarrassed sob.

“You’re really going to let me?” He nearly whines in excitement. 

You nod, reaching for him and pulling him to you by his shoulders. You land a kiss against his lips, trying not to shake at the way his fingers angle different inside of you as he moves to chase your lips.

“Mhm,” You soothe against his lips, intentionally scooting your hips down to your best ability to sink his fingers into you more. “Move your fingers– it feels good like this.”

He listens, feeling you throw your arms around his neck and cling to him through it, all while moaning and groaning right up against his lips. You’re not even kissing him, you’re just….acting like this and it’s fucking great.

He thought he would be the only one to be desperate in this situation, yet here you are, clinging to him as he works his fingers in you. 

“When?” He finally asks upon noting the way you start to move your hips against his fingers. 

You peek your eyes open and pull back to look at him. 

“Now? Do you want to do it now?” 

He nods, slipping his fingers out of you and inspecting how wet they’ve become. 

“Can I?” 

You finally fall back, leaning against your elbows and spreading your legs wide in front of him. Lending him a nod, you watch the way he just freezes after the fact. 

All you can do is laugh at this moment with the way he loses any ability to remember how sex works. 

Then again, you wonder if he ever even watched porn, considering how he’s acting and couldn’t manage to find the clit. 

“Do you want me to be on top?” You question, blinking up at him and his blank expression.

He shakes his head at you, still frozen in his spot before his eyes slowly make their way down to the glistening sheen against your pussy. 

“Don’t we like, need a condom or something? I can’t promise I’ll be able to pull out.” He asks, finally glancing away. “I don’t know if I can last as long as you want me to….”

And with that, all you do is lunge forward, grab your boyfriend by the cock, and pull him to you. 

He laughs, you laugh, and then it’s silent when he leans over you, feeling his length lay against your core, already feeling spent but so, so ready to give himself to you. 

“I’m on birth control. You don’t need to pull out.” You smile evilly, wiggling your hips and watching the way he closes his eyes tightly as if to regain his composure of those words. 

“I’m seriously in love with you.” He mutters, pushing his hips forward and letting his length slide through the mess he made of you. 

You smile, feeling that by this point, your face may actually be stuck like this permanently, and lift your head to kiss against his lips once more. 

“You’re ready?” You ask quietly, against his lips. “I can help you adjust to where it needs to be. After that, I want you to do what feels best for you, okay?”

He nods timidly, taking in a deep and nervous breath before feeling your hand guide his length to the opening. 

“Go on, slide in it.” You encourage him. 

And he does. 

Slowly at first, gently, until he feels your wet hot walls envelop the head of his cock in full, clenching, pulling him in. 

His arms shake from either side of your head as he balances himself there, and it doesn’t take long for him to drop his head against your shoulder in deeper breaths than he was taking before.

The sensation is so much, it’s no wonder people like to have sex. It’s so good, you feel so, so good around him. He can’t help it when he slides in deeper, not stopping until he’s releasing a wet moan against your shoulder and holding onto you as if his life depends on it. 

He thought that once he got it all the way in, it would get easier. But it doesn’t. Even as the two of you are unmoving, with your hands in his hair and soothing him through it, you still clench him. Your pussy still stimulates it without either of you doing a damn thing.

You on the other hand, won’t admit to struggling through that one, long and languid thrust inside of you. It felt as if he was splitting you open despite how wet you already were, and still are. The heaviness, the consistent twitching, all of it stretches you out more than you even knew you’d need and god, it feels so good to have him just hold onto you like, to have him adjust to the feeling. 

He’s no longer a virgin, and that’s not even what matters right now. 

What matters is the way he continuously nuzzles his nose against you, snaking his head to your neck and moaning consistently against your ear when he manages to finally move. 

He pulls out only a little bit before his hips stutter at the sensitivity, then he pushes back in. 

In and out, in and out, until–

“Fuck.” He moans, lifting suddenly from your neck, sitting up, staring directly  at where his cock sits inside of you, and he just… lets go.

Knuckles white against the grip of your waist, he powers through the sensitivity, he fucks through it. Fast, with no real rhythm or ability to realize just how deep he’s pushing himself into you, and then….

He’s done for. 

“That’s it,” You encourage him through half moans at the feeling, your swollen clit begging for a little bit of attention too. “Shit, Chan, that’s it.” You continue, losing yourself in his reaction to you. 

He only moves faster, his hips only stutter more, and thank fuck he already came once because he wouldn’t have made it a solid inch into you before coming undone if he hadn’t. Now though? He’s pleasantly surprised to be lasting even this long. 

Until he’s not, of course. 

And there, between your legs, he presses in as far as he can reach and loses his breath. 

Eyes rolling back, eyebrows furrowing, mouth agape, a deep moan rumbles from his chest as his shiver flows through his body at the first release inside of you.

You immediately shoot your hands to your clit, feeling it pump inside of you much like it did in your mouth. Already so much, you feel entirely full, and entirely ready if he can manage to keep coming for as long as he did before. 

You fingers assault the swollen nub so fast, working yourself up much like you would during a quick session of masturbation, not wanting him to miss out on what it feels like to have a girl come on him– 

It hits you faster than you can realize. 

Even when he buckles and falls back to your chest out of breath, you can’t even tell him that it’s happening. 

Thankfully, he doesn’t move just yet. Well, until he feels your pussy clench him tigher than before. In a rhythmic way, almost. 

Only barely can he lift his head to watch you, and that’s when he notes that you’re holding your breath. 

You pussy is pulsing, and then–

“Are you?” He questions, experimenting with the idea of trying to thrust into you as he asks. 

There’s the breath you’d been holding. 

“Yes!” You call out, both to answer his question and to appreciate that little thrust he gave you.

Even if his cock is slowly becoming flaccid, you’re still full, and he can still feel the orgasm wash over you. 

He’s silent through it, wincing at his hyper-sensitive cock and very nearly cursing it out for not having waited just a minute longer to release– then, you’re hugging him. 

Tightly. So tightly, you’re holding onto him and breathing into his hair. He can barely breathe himself with this hold you have on him. Still, he doesn’t fight it, he simply lets you. 

Letting you cling, letting the last jolting pulses of your core push the rest of him out of you. There, he manages to lift from your weakening grasp and throw himself beside you. 

Out of breath, sweating, a total mess, he looks at you like he truly will never be able to love another person the way he does right now. 

And it falls silent for a long while before you roll over, throwing both an arm and leg over him. 

“Man,” You sigh out. “How does it feel?” You ask this time, opening your eyes to playfully look at him.

“Huh? What?” He asks, quirking a brow. 

“You know, now that you’re not a virgin anymore. How does it feel?” 

He thinks hard for like two seconds before taking in a deep breath and smothering himself against the top of your head. 

“Like I’m in love with you, maybe.”

And you know, given that this relationship is barely even considered one in the eyes of most people. You don’t think you care. 

“Because I made you feel good, or because you want to let me make you feel good for like…” You pause, lifting your head to look him in the eye. “the rest of your life?”

He doesn’t even have to think twice. 

“The second reason.” 

“You’re such a simp, Chan, really.” You joke, skewing your head fondly to look at him. “But I think it’s worth a shot.”

~

Chapter two: LOSER. [wonwoo] ― coming soon!

series m.list

[fillinforlater]

The Archive of Smite

This page belongs to the writer named Smite. He wrote fics starting in September of 2021 up until April 2024. In these 2,5 years, over 8.000 people followed him to read some of the craziest k-pop girl group smut out there. Almost 150 stories of sex in all kinds of positions, for many reasons, all over the world (and in outerspace), with too many kinks to count.

"When I started, I kinda wanted to become the best. I wanted my favorite writers at the time - Levi, Peach, Sins, and many more - to know that I could write as good as they can. I wanted to go wilder and crazier."

Smite, though ambitious, was also stupid and naive. At roughly the same time he started writing, two other community legends began their careers. IZ and Kaede crushed everything in their sight, especially the former becoming an absolute legend.

"Writing was fun. At times, it was escapism from everyday worries. At other times, it was fulfillment of fantasies I could never reach. Mostly though, it was just horny. BFH that just became words. If you go through my Masterlist, you might see which idols had some random heights or were just... Always on my hot list."

Smite never really stopped writing, not for long stretches that is. It didn't really occur to him that there might be a sudden, drastic reason to stop. He considered doing so anyways. Something about writing porn about irl people without them knowing or wanting - needless to say, it is an odd hobby. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it amd the community it brought with it.

"I fucking love these guys. So many hilarious peoplefrom all over the world. One became like my best friend, a rock during my emotional struggles. Another was my boyfriend for a short time. Man, I screwed up with him kekw. There are too many to mention. I've had long talks with some, others just came by and listened to me mald or something. I love you all, some of you I consider true friends - part of my soul - and I feel connected, even if you are thousands of miles away."

2024 started stressful for Smite. The pressure of Uni started to collapse on him. Even the thought of big kpop concerts wasn't enough to cheer him up. Luckily though, there was this girl. Sweet, kind, caring and in the same position. Soon, he had found something that seemed impossible. She was in love with him and he in love with her. And when everything unraveled.

"I stopped writing. I burried my drafts. I finished only one story and released it way later. I'm sorry I didn't announce it properly, but I just felt that this smut writing career was over. I don't regret it - I gained something beautiful I want to keep for the rest of my life. She is at least as pretty as Minju, so I call that the biggest win imaginable lol."

So no more smuts from Smite?

"99% no"

No more fanfictions/girl group stories in general?

"Eh, 80% no. Still some unfinished angst that I would love y'all to read tho"

Will you ever reach those 150 fics?

"We will see. In this count there are fics with less than 1000 words. I might just sneeze and finish it kekw"

Any fic you regret not writing?

"Not really? Maybe a proper ending for Starship: Horizon? Or yet another Minju fic? Futa stuff? Gaeul angst x female reader? Or how about a fic with 69 different idols at once? Who but me would dare to write something so stupid?"

Do you think you reached your initial goal?

"Do I consider myself the GOAT? No. That title belongs to either Peach, Levi or IZ. But I know that of my now 8.700 followers some consider me their favorite writer. I'm flattered and thank you very much for reading amd enjoying my work."

Now for the most important question: does this post mean you are finally leaving the community behind for good? Is this your last hoorah?

"..."

"Never."

[al3zthecat-blog]

I've read fics about SQH worrying about becoming second husband/wife, about MBJ proposing and SQH not realizing and thinking he is going to marry someone else, about MBJ promoting him without telling him until MBJ gives him the ultimate promotion and declares SQH his "queen" (also without telling SQH 😂) and I also saw one fic (although only read the first chapter) in which MBJ is looking for a spouse (not SQH) after they tried and failed at being together and many at Court are upset is not SQH(?). The point is I've seen many marriage fics, and while on them it takes a while for them to get married because of misunderstandings/miscommunication, usually SQH is on board once the misunderstanding/miscommunication is cleared. I don't think I've seen one where instead of SQH worrying about whether MBJ will propose and being envious of SQQ/LBH, SQH is instead dismissive of marriage and not wanting to ever get married himself if asked about.

I've seen post making fun of MBJ being courting SQH by beating him three times a day and how actually in the demon realm his romance is THE Romance ™ and not LBH's, because from an outsider demonic perspective it seemed that SQH kept playing hard to get and MBJ was willing to keep in trying. But, what if the misunderstandings/miscommunication were cleared and SQH is NOT on board. Like, even if you write him as already aware that he is in love with MBJ (and I like it more if he either doesn't see MBJ in that light yet or he isn't aware his feelings have turned romantic) and being on board on becoming lovers, I would love for him to just for him to hem and haw and distracting MBJ or avoiding the subject, because he doesn't want to get married. Because marriage kills romance. Marriage is the death of love, AND THEY JUST FOUND OUT THEY ARE IN REQUITED LOVE, WHY RUINED BY GETTING MARRIED!? And him trying to convince MBJ that it is better that way, he already promised to follow MBJ for all his life, why do they need to get married?

And now MBJ actually has to try and convince SQH that marriage is good. Until either one of the is convinced they are fine with or without being married.

Or you know, maybe there is no marriage proposal and MBJ's council or CQM are the ones telling Moshang they should get married, because of politics, and both MBJ amd SQH don't have a good opinion of marriage.

[fieldofdaisiies]

Some writing real talk below

In 2023 I pushed myself sooo hard to write good fics, I would take hours to write a few paragraphs because I spent such a long time searching for synonyms and phrases to use instead of the once I always used. I looked up so many words, I constantly tried to find new phrases and spent soooo much time one pages to help me desrcibe things, amd rephrase things because I thought I had to do better than I had done before. I know these focs were often stylistically better, sounded better, but it was getting exhausting and I lost my love for writing.

So, this year I made the plan to just write again, not looking up that many things, just using what I have, and let me tell you, I fell back in love with writing. It is just a hobby and I want to enjoy what I am doing.

I enjoy doing it this way so much more than with trying to get everything to be perfect. My English is not perfect, my word order isn’t perfect, I often can’t think of the right word or good phrases to describe something but I enjoy writing so much again. Just getting my thoughts out and on paper.

I am still trying to get better, and I still look uo things to help me, but I am often trying to figure out my own way to describe something…

Don’t know why I felt like sharing this, but it feels good I did. And maybe it helps one or the other who is struggling with that as well.

Good night 🌟

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

I may have many issues with Countdown but I can appreciate it for a few things and that includes Jason meeting murder Batman* (Earth-51 Batman)

I mean to start Jason clearly doesn't agree with the guy. He's very not into the whole "let's kill all these guys" attitude and thinks murder batman is crazy (and outright says so) But also. He puts on the suit he's given that this Batman made, he's fights with him. He mourns him. He's upset with the death. After Batman failed him on his own earth he meets one that accepts him

And augh. They haunt me. Aughh I wish I could write I wanna write and get to see a fic about them so so bad

(do Not tell me to just write it anyway please amd thank you. auuaaoighh)

Because like! The way murder batman was SO quick to start seeing Jason as his own dead Jason and start referring to him as such.

The way murder batman never got to know about Jason's Red Hooding but AUGH. Can you just IMAGINE the moral dilemma he'd have with that??! He probably would've killed a crime lord Jason before ever learning his identity, or learning it too late. Aughhhaoujgh

They had to kill off murderbatman he wouldve been too powerful otherwise. For example I think he wouldve Not been willing to let go of this living Jason

Multiverse kidnapping story where after meeting and then leaving, murder bat finds our Jason amd just. Fucking takes him and pretends it's his Jason. Augh that'd be so fun

This page is everything ^

Theyre so so normal about eachother. I'm chewing on them like a dog with its favorite toy btw

[villainsimpqueen]

Not Alone.

Adam x Sick! Reader (Gn)

So this one shot is a little self centered. Its completely a Reader One shot, gender neutral.

It is Angst & Comfort

But everything the Reader Experiences is true symptoms & a true epsiode of a unoffical/Unknown diagnosis sickness that I am being seen by a specialist to find a possible diagnosis amd hopefully meds.

This is also about my bad epsiode from last night, and im still trying to mentally recover from it, and so i decieded to write.

I wrote this as a way to self comfort but also to confort anyone out there that has similar experiences and for them to know that.

Your Not Alone.

As always, All my works are 18 plus, no minors allowed.

And To anyone who reads/likes/reblogs/relates to this post, Your doing amazing, and your so strong.

To the one shot fic.

Heaven was supposed to be eternally peaceful, All those with pain, illness & sickness in their past life would face it no more in heaven. 

That was how it was intended to be. 

So when you had passed away and entered those pearly gates you had thought your own illness had too poofed away like the heavenly dream and promise should have been. 

But it didn't. 

Yours had followed you, clinging to you unwanted and despite many heavenly high angels coming to aid you, the sickness had stayed attached and clung to you despite it not being a thing of peace and tranquility. 

The high angels did their best to console you as you wept after your first bad episode of the persistent sickness that had followed in your devine afterlife. 

They didn't understand it as much as you didnt understand, but they consoled you trying to tell you that perhaps it was heaven's plan for you to continue on with it, That maybe you were the key to stop it from happening on earth or at least an aid in finding cures for earth. 

It was unfair. 

But you couldn't openly say that, and so you tried ignoring it as you tried finding work to do to occupy your mind, the less you thought of it the better for your mental state. 

It was in your official heavenly work records that it would be best if you did not have a super laborious job, and for some reason, the work division department decided to assign you as the First Man… Adam's Assistant was the perfect job for you. 

Your new boss was…..definitely labor intensive. 

He seemed to not understand the concept of paperwork leaving you to do piles and piles of backwork, reading and organizing reports, compiling and binding them and sending them all out. Top of that the man did not seem to understand that his flirting, pick up lines and continuous offers to “treat you to dinner” was uninvited and unwelcome. 

You would have thought after the third kind no, and afterwards the short and curt blatant rejections to all his advances would have the Man gone and uninterested in you. 

But oh were you so wrong, if anything it only drove him to up his belt at flirting, and all that much to your displeasure. He always seemed to know where you were in the office and whether it was a door frame, fridge, table, desk he would lean or perch against it to start up his flirting. 

“Heya babes you free later tonight?”

“Whatsa man gotta do to get your number?” 

“Your looking fucking hot today, like always babes.” 

“If I had to pick you or an apple, it would be that fine ass anyday.” 

You hated how the last one had made you snort. It was so stupid, That it actually had made you laugh and you had regretted it when you saw the first man's masked eyes crinkle and sharp toothed grin only widened, which had made you immediately shot back.

“go choke on an apple Adam.” 

Before you fled the break room with your cup of coffee, warm in your hands, you had heard the man make a noise similar to amusement and he had shouted after you.

“Did that Babes, would rather choke on your instead. “ 

“I'm filing another HR report.”

“Ouuu Spicy!” 

You never knew you would be so grateful for him always appearing out of nowhere until now. 

You had been taking reports somewhere when you felt your body's red flags start to fly. 

Your vision of the office hall growing longer and shorter. Your breathing started to pick up and yet slowed down as your head started to feel like it was fading. Thoughts become hard to formulate  and your legs grow weaker with a tingling numbness that starts to rapidly climb. 

You had leaned against a wall trying to relax, trying to breathe, as time seemed to freeze and slowly tick away as you struggled to keep your eyes open. 

Your breaths heavily leave you as you begin to feel light and yet so heavy as you felt the tremors start to shake internally and knew it wouldn't be long before they showed outwardly. 

It was going to be a bad one. 

You dreaded as your mouth started to go dry, and tingled with a cold sensation before it started to taste as if you bit into a raw steak. 

The metalic taste of dirty pennies feels in your mouth as if your body's iron had decided to gather and party into your mouth all at once. 

Your ears began to ring and tingle as your hearing like your vision started to fade away and echo making things far sound near and things near sound far away. 

How long were you there for? How long since it started? 

You were going to fall. You were going to fall and you can't move to catch yourself! 

Your gonna- 

“You good babes?” Adams voice cut through the internal trapped dialog of your brain and ass your flicked your non stop fluttering eyes trying to see him, your vision being blurry and yet hyper focus at the same time as his voice echoed no stop in your ears far away and yet close you didn't even know how long it had been since he had asked. 

Your brain constantly jumps forward and yet lagging severely behind as your jaw and mouth muscles spasmed as you fought trying to open your mouth but couldn't. 

You can't move. 

And your going to fucking fall and collapse and fall on your face and you cant move. 

“You ain't gonna pass out on my babes are you?” Adams words echoed sounding near and far as you felt pressure start to take over your body, your gravity being utterly ripped apart as the Episode sunk its teeth and claws into with a vicious grin and glint in its eyes as you felt your eyes start fluttering and body start to fall back into the wall.

“Ah shit. Nope, Nope, easy down you go.” 

Hands grabbed at your shoulders, sending jolts through your entire body focusing into your numbed and useless legs as the hands led you down the ground safely, moving you carefully onto your back, a hand holding your head from the floor until it made contact with something hard yet soft. 

The need to talk burned through you but your jaw would correspond with your wishes. 

Your eyes burn even when closed, tears don't need a conscious thought to form as your eyes flutter open and close talking in nothing but the harsh lighting, black and sparkling spots that dance across your eyes as you struggle to breathe. 

When was your last breath? When did you breathe?! 

Something moving through your hair sent more jolts through your frozenly stiff and limp body. 

“It's okay babes. You okay..I got you, just breathe for me okay? Just breathe.”

The voice echoed in and out if your ears as your eyes fluttered shut the trembles coming out of you starting with in and making its way out as the numbing pains started to take hold into your legs. 

Tears streaming from your eyes as your jaw keeps tightening and loosening. 

Hell, this was hell. 

You were having a good day, today was a good day, so why? why? 

“Just let it out babes, you're okay, just breathe, I'm here, I got you.”

“Im….sor…ry” You managed to barely get out as your mind fogged once more and body stole away the ability to speak once again locking your jaw as your tremors  became more casing your chest to heave as your struggled to take each breath. 

You felt like you were dying. 

Are you dying this time? Which breath would be your last? 

Would you have to feel yourself suffocate slowly while you couldn't move? 

“Don't say that shit, You dont have a thing to be sorry for, i got you, just breathe Darlin.” 

Fingers moved through your hair feeling like they were going to split your head and skull right open. 

It was painful as much as it was comforting. 

Your hearing started ringing again you could hear muffled echoed voices, your brain struggling to put pieces together and when you could finally open your eyes again you saw bits and pieces of Adams face, and another, a woman.

You struggled to recognize her for a moment. 

Lute. 

“Sir I brought the wet cold towels and water as you stated, what else can I do to help.” 

They were helping you? 

They weren't going to leave you? 

More tears moved down your cheeks, they felt so cold, you felt so cold, you felt like you were on fire. 

“Thisbis all we can do, There body has to work it out on its own, I got this okay Just close off the Hall, dont allow any fuckers in. Give them privacy. I got this…Hey babes, I got you…Fuck your burning up..hey hey its okay breathe for me okay? soft breaths” 

Your eyes fluttered back close, involuntary jerking as something freezing surrounded your forehead making you out a noise of pain as you felt like daggers scratching and piercing your frontal skull dance around. 

Another when another cold thing shoved behind your neck right against your brain stim. 

The tremors worsen as you fight to breathe. You didn't need to hear them, you could tell each struggling inhale and shaky exhale was raspy as if it was a death rattle. 

Warmth covered your hands, making the tremors only worsen and the numbing splitting pain shot through your arms and into your legs making you clench your teeth and cry more. 

This is humiliating. 

“Fuck your hands are like ice…Hold on…” 

Rustling fabrics heard and your eyes tried finding it behind your closed eyelids, you couldn't open them as the lighting behind your eyelids were so bright and pure white you were sure if you opened them you wouldn't have vision at all. 

Something so unbearably heavy covered you, making you jolt and twitch, Your chest wracking as you struggled to breathe more gasping, gasping for air. 

“It's okay, let it out, I have you, you're doing so good.”

You're doing so well. 

How such words utterly broke you as you sobbed between broken gasps for air, the tremors bringing nothing but agony as your body felt like it was being electrocuted internally. 

“I…m…sorry.” 

It was the only thing you could raspily push out as you suffered trapped in your own flesh and bone as the very vessel you care and tended for failed you and imprisoned you. 

Allowing this greedy sickness to steal your life from you. 

Hands holding your head on the hard yet soft thing.

“Are they conscious?!” A voice echoed, sounding so far away. 

“Yes they're just in and out, they're okay. The report said this happens. We just gonna stay nice and calm and chill..They can hear us…aint that right babes? You just can't talk right now and that's okay. Just breathe, you're doing such a good job.” Adams comforting concerned words echoed each one fading in and out of your hearing as your brain tried to associate meaning.

How long has it been? It feels like years, god what if it was years. 

You couldn't tell how long you were there, how much time had passed as you suffered in forced silence.

“You want some water?” 

Yes. 

Yes you wanted water, that sounds so divine. 

Water to wash away the blood taste in your mouth? You needed it more than anything. 

Your throat and Jaw and tongue are failing you, making some strangled noses as you fight your body to try to move. 

You wanted to sob when you felt a hand move under your head and tilt it to the side, something pressed to your parted lips and cold, precious water slowly trickling in. 

Each small and allowed sip Adam had given you felt like a life line as if life was being allowed back into your husked of a useless failing body. 

You only had a couple of sips before your head was moved back and a hand found its way back to your hair. 

“That's it…We will try again in a moment.” 

That moment will feel like centuries. 

But as promised Adam provided you little sips of water, let you rest and breath for a moment and then continue the repeated steps. 

Over time you would finally, Finally, feel your body to allow you full utter consciousness. 

Becoming more aware as you flutter your eyes open slowly being allowed vision again with nothing obstructing your viewing privileges. 

You could see the lights of the hallway, the walls, how high they looked when you were forced to the ground. You took in soft golden eyes, not led lighted lines but real golden eyes. Tanned dark skinned face, with a stubbly chin of facial hair and the fluffiest and curly hair you ever seen with the strongest cowlick possible. 

Your brain struggled for a few moments before understanding that this was Adam. And that Adam was not wearing that strange mask thingy. 

As if seeing your sudden spurt of Alertness Adams golden eyes filled with relief, a soft encouraging smile forming on his real natural lips as he looked down at you.

“There you are.” He speaks softly as if he was so utterly proud of you.

There you are. 

You cried, you couldn't help it, all you could do was cry as you felt the numbness leave your body slowly, Adam only offered soft words. 

Soon With his help, You was able to sit up, feeling your head go light and foggy to slowly clearing as He offered you water.

“You can't come down this hall, find another route.” Lute's voice echoed down the hallway to you, making you too embarrassed but grateful. 

At least no other coworkers saw you collapsed and paralyzed on the floor. 

“I know you probably wanna be a bad bitch and all independent n all, but like, Can I fly you home, just to be sure you're safe?” Adam asked gently, something in his voice that caught your attention. 

You assessed your wings and took into account how they felt so utterly weak, there was no way you were flying. And how your legs still felt useless when you gave him a weak smile.

“I couldn't walk if I wanted to.” You told him and Adam moved, His arms finding way under your knees and around your back to effortlessly pick you up with ease.

It made you really take in just how Large he really was. 

Adam was practically a giant and sometimes it was hard to get that with all the slouching and leaning on things it's easy to forget

 that Adam was pushing twelve feet tall..

“Don't worry I got you, just relax babes.” Adam told you and for once you did, melting into his arms in relief as he moved out to a flying window and took off, His golden wings stretching out widely as they cut through the air with ease, Rotating and flapping when needed as he carried you in his thick yet strong arms. You stared at his face realizing Adam left his mask behind in the hallway and you couldn't help but notice how alluring Adam really was. 

“You want me to stop and grab you some food so you can just relax in bed or something?” Adam softly asked his golden eyes moving to land on you making you realize you had stared at him for a moment. 

“Uh..No i'll just order in.” You told him,You already felt like a burden enough, you didn't need to add onto it. 

Adam looked like he wanted to protest, but as he stared at your face you watched as it died immediately and he focused on getting you to your home. 

“You know where I live?” You asked after a few minutes as if it dawned on you.

“I know where all my Employees live Including an emergency contacts.” He states a serious note in his tone as he keeps his eyes ahead.

“Just like I knew how to aid you, I read all my Employees files. Shits are important like allergies in shit, I make sure everyones good..” 

You didnt..You didn't really expect this level of responsibility maturity  from Adam. You always thought he was just some Ass who wanted to sleep around…..which you were sure he still was but maybe not that much of an asshole. 

Soon he was landing on your house's landing dock. He walked inside your home holding you.

“So erm…, ya bed or couch?” He asked that change in his tone still ringing in your ears, yet it wasnt pity or any of that, more so like he was genuinely trying to be serious. 

You kinda miss one of his crude jokes. 

“My couch is fine.” You tell him and he took you to the couch settling you down easily before he kinda stared at you.

“Welp, see ya when you're ready to work again, text me if ya can't or if ya need anything and i gotcha.” He said before waving awkwardly at you and heading out to your house's loading dock. 

You watched him a thank you falling from your lips as you stared blankly at the tv, a hand grabbing your phone as you could hear Adams Wings spread outside. 

Your fingers tapping away at a screen and before you heard him launch up into the sky. a ringing sounded. 

You heard rustling from his pockets knowing he checked his phone, A noise leaving him before he was back in your house and on your couch, you turned on the Tv as he plopped on the other side of your couch. 

When you turned you saw how bright his g9lden eyes were, gleaming a wide excited smile on his face, his phone in his hand.

“Course I'll watch a movie with a baddie like you, what kind of ribs do you eat?”

_____Bonus______

Phone

Contact: Dumbassmcgee. (Adam)

(xxx) xxx-xxxx

Adam a previous date: Meeting at 9, be there

Adam a previous date: Wanna grab lunch afterwards? 😏🍕🌭

               I'll be there: You, a previous date

                

               No thanks.: You, a previous date

Adam, a previous date: Offer still stands Hottie 🙊

Trip and fall (Censored emoji): You, a previous date 

Adam, a previous date: LMAO LAME ASS KEYBOARD!! 🤣🤣🤣

Adam, A previous date: Here 🖕🖕🖕

                     Thanks.: You, a previous date.

                      🖕🖕🖕: You, a previous date.

 

Hey to not be a burden anymore than i have…..Do you By chance wanna stay and watch a movie. 🥺👉👈 Friends of course! 🧍‍♀️.                            : You now

[spell-cleaver]

One thing I've always wondered is how Vader didn't sense either Luke (or Leia's for that matter) force presence on the first death star. I guess he was super caught up in with the whole "I sense the old coot who cut off my limbs amd left me to burn" thing, but I like to think obi-wan was masking the pair by just being obnoxiously loud with the force (the force equivalent of him walking into a room with multiple air horns and a boom box blasting away)

Wow, I had THOUGHTS about this one.

Honestly? I'm not a fan of the assumption in a lot of fic and by fans that it's super easy to passively sense someone in the Force. I have used it myself, of course, but I say from experience it restricts writing a lot while... not actually having a ton of backing in the films? (I'm referring to the films here, not to any other media, just because when I want to analyse lore, I only take them as canon; when I'm just looking for cool worldbuilding for a fic, though, anything goes.)

It's not just Leia that Vader doesn't sense on the Death Star. He doesn't sense Luke either, even though Luke is right there screaming when Vader kills Obi-Wan. It's more of an issue with Leia ofc because he literally used the mind probe on her but only finds that "her resistance... is considerable". An easy answer is that I headcanon Leia is a naturally good shielder, which is why she was never found on the Death Star and also why all of the Jedi in ROTS were surprised there were two babies - Leia had been naturally shielding herself, so they just sensed Luke.

But if we go more in-depth into the films' representations of the Force, Vader only senses Luke when he's actively chasing him as a pilot; he comments that "The Force is strong with this one" only when Luke is using the Force to aim and fire his shot. For me, this implies that you can only sense other Force users powerfully or distinctly when they're actively using the Force. I know why fic prefers not to go that way - I for one have used the "Vader senses Luke immediately" plot to get Luke captured many a time - but it's a fun thing to consider. Also, the Force is a soft magic system. It does functionally whatever the story needs it to.* Which is why Vader can sense Luke approaching Endor in ROTJ when Palpatine couldn't, but he had to be told by an officer when Luke's ship was approaching Cloud City in ESB.** There are many examples where a Force user just didn't sense someone else. Luke not sensing Yoda in ESB, Obi-Wan not sensing Dooku's presence on Geonosis, the Jedi non sensing Maul in TPM, the Jedi not sensing Palpatine for the whole prequel trilogy.

You could argue that those examples are of trained Force wielders shielding themselves, but I would argue that Qui-Gon can't sense Anakin in TPM. He doesn't show interest in Anakin until after they've left Watto's shop and Anakin starts talking to him. Anakin is the literal son of the Force and the most powerful Force wielder ever, but Qui-Gon was talking to Watto for a while without batting an eyelash at the small supernova in his shop. He didn't start to suspect until he heard about his racing, his instincts, spoke to him to notice his insights. Then still he spoke to Shmi about him to confirm his suspicions that "he can see things before they happen", watched him while he flew, and took a midichlorian count. I think the Force might well have been nudging Qui-Gon to look at Anakin, to suspect something, but I don't think he sensed Anakin himself as Force sensitive - at least, not immediately. Which is how I think you can explain all the instances of people going "I felt his presence." They were either using the Force, or familiar as Force sensitives to the person sensing them, or the Force wielder in general had an instinct that there was something special about this person, I should pay attention...

This has been a long ramble, but the short answer is: I headcanon Leia as naturally good at shielding. I think it fills multiple Star Wars plot holes.***

But I think it's also worth interrogating the fact that fandom seems to approach and conceptualise of the Force as a hard magic system, with clearly defined rules, rather than the soft magic system it is.**** Anything goes in Star Wars! It can be annoying if the writing doesn't sell it well enough, but I really love that aspect of the worldbuilding. And considering that the Force is a big fat plot device as well as giving people magical instincts for things that are Plot Relevant and things that aren't, I think it's a lot more interesting to consider that the Force isn't a superpower that lets you sense everything. Vader didn't detect Leia simply because he didn't. Sometimes they fail to do that. And it allows you to show growth in character and situation when that fact changes. Vader doesn't sense Luke in ANH until he's Plot Relevant to Vader's personal story. He doesn't sense Luke until he's fighting him in ESB. But in ROTJ, once they're both invested in their relationship and fated to meet, they're drawn together like stars caught in a mutual orbit.

That's the explanation I prefer. Because although it's less consistent, it's not unbelievable. It leaves uncertainty, mysticism, the chance for exploration in the galaxy. And most importantly, it tells a damn good story. Which, while this may not be true of people who love collecting lore and figuring the galaxy out, is ultimately what I'm here for.

*This is why so many random new powers can get added and explored in later movies and such, and also why I don't really get het up about it when they do add them. It just depends how you incorporate that new power. Usually, if a villain suddenly has a new power no one knew about (like Palpatine's lightning in ROTJ) it just ups the stakes, while if a hero suddenly has a new power it can feel like it cheapens their victory, like they haven't earned it; a deus ex machina. So messing about with Force powers is fine, it just depends how you incorporate them in the story.

**Admittedly this can be explained by the bond being formed when Luke learned the truth, but you know what I mean.

***I was only talking about the movies here, but there's also that moment in the Kenobi series where she's captured by Inquisitors and still no one notices she's Force sensitive??? There's just a lot of moments like this littered all over Star Wars, so this headcanon covers a lot of them.

****I kept using the terms hard/soft magic system without really explaining it here, but here's some good videos to dig into it: Soft Magic Systems | Hard Magic Systems

[justallihere]

Not so much an ask so much as I just want to thank you for writing storm in the quiet. I've been re-reading it and seeing them slowly fall in love has just made me so happy. They really amd truly just got to know each other through whispers in the dark, and each moment made them stronger together.

With romance stories I tend to ask myself "why do they love each other?" So many stories tend to have an "they just do, trust me" vibe from the author, but storm in the quiet doesn't have that. I could see Xaden starting to fall for her as she was able to shoulder everything being queen and their marriage did, and she came out stronger.

And Violet fell for Xaden because he saw her and never thought her weak. How when she thought she was being weak herself, he still found her powerful and capable.

I'm not sure if I'm making much sense, I just wanted to say that you've made Xaden and Violet falling in love feel real to me. And I thank you for this story :)

Thank you! You are making perfect sense 🫶🏻🥹🥹

I love you guys endlessly for reading this fic a chapter at a time as I post it, but there’s something really special about reading it all together and actually seeing the progression of their relationship in one go instead of having those breaks in between. My biggest fear writing it has been that I wouldn’t be deliberate enough in how they fall in love and that exactly what you said would happen—it would feel like they only loved each other because I said so. But I’m really proud of the way I crafted those quieter, softer moments with them where they get under each other’s skin and support each other and make each other better, so thank you for this ask. I’m so glad you love it 🩷🩷

[ravenkinnie]

yall can say im a hater for this but when people post like wow fanfic writers do it all for free like no they don't. nobody makes money off this shit legally but I promise you they do it for clout, for interaction, attention is its own currency. why do you think fanfic writers always have insane intercommunity drama - because this shit can make you insane. you will have people fighting to detah over a window seat in a clown car, like yes it's a labour of love but also DO NOT underestimate the appeal of having a minor to major online following. the pay off for writing OG work is so miniscule because the chance of hitting it big is tiny amd it can take so many years just to debut with one 100k novel that will likely generate minimal attention that fanfiction is actually way better if you're more oriented towards community/following

that being said, there is a lot of people who write fic for a ton of reasons and genuine passion is one of them and I do love the creativity that is born from that and I love the little community that can build around canon with all different interpretations, styles, genres etc etc but if you ever see big name fan drama just remember that they do that for the same reason people have random influencer beef on tiktok, attention is perhaps even more powerful than money

[ncoincidences]

all the fics I read this year, part II — drarry edition

Here's where you go for part I (jily). Drarry is my second top-ship of 2023! Personally, I am so awed by the drarry writers on here, their wonderful & unique fics out there, plus the many podfics! I hope to enjoy more podfics next year ❤️ For now I'm highly grateful to have read all these incredible fics which have comforted me during hard times ❤️🫂

Magic Man by @dracogotgame = dracogotgame - Draco is a Muggle Magic Performer, and Harry's sure he's using real magic, which he isn't allowed to do, and naturally sets up to investigate, but what follows is a fluffy romantic fic instead!

Tiny Dragons & Where to Find Them by @tasteofshapes  - Harry's tiny dragon is missing! It's with Draco 😳😏😍🥰

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead)* by dustmouth, nerakrose asexual Harry! This fic was so amazing, the vibes were soft and p calm ❤️

Far From The Tree by aideomai - GOSH THIS FIC. goodness where do i start. It's like enemies with benefits except we know we're not going to end up together because your future kids accidentally time travelled here and at least i don't end up in azkaban in the future also there's an evil swordlady trying to kill us all AND MORE. this fic has a great concept, amazing execution and a PERFECT ending.

Nice Things by aideomai - every drarry fic list must contain an 8th year fic! This one also has some interhouse friendships and the vibe is quite cosy. This is the fic where all the 8th years are accomodated in a house called 'Gatehouse'. Kind of gives off a bit of a 2012 Avengers fic, iykwim.

The Star Splitter by @oflights - ahsvgdjsknbvghk this WIP is the bane of my existence the object if my desires etc etc. Latest update has left me hanging! It is heart-healing but angsty at the same time, and has lots of world building. Features 35 yo drarry, plus lots of time-travelling. I'm putting a lot of trust in that "happy ending" tag!

if the bees know by fanfairmod, oflights - everything about this fic screams fall amd spooky season. it is cosy, starts a bit sadly but ends on a beautiful note. also feat. cute harry & scorpius moments!

go to it laughing by oflights - v cute meet-cute!!

along each garden wall by oflights - veela Harry! Feat. A Draco who wants to whisk Harry off in his hot air balloon and a time-stopping ship. It's funny and a nice read overall.

the first in line by oflights - so many misunderstandings in this one oh my god!!!! overall it's a funny and comfort fic feat. Vet!Harry 🤩😍

Close Behind* by oflights - angsty angsty fic! Betrayal, death, lots of worldbuilding and a gripping plotline!

Byzantine by oflights - alexa play jealousy, jealousy by olivia

What dreams may come by @lastontheboat  - i LOVE the unique concept this fic is based on! Amnesiac Harry has his memory regained by Healer Draco, but in the process they must have sex! The smut was incredible.

Assumptions by  @indigo-scarf - asexual draco with hurt and comfort that patches you back together!

Tomorrow by space_wingding - Harry and Draco are older, Harry's dying, Draco's a biographer, and this is how the fic starts. In the process of writing, they fall in love as they discover more about each other ❤️

It Was All Just a Game (Rewrite) by write_me227 - holy shit is this a ride. This is angsty, adorable, angsty, romantic, etc and has all the rockiness of a teenage relationship accompanied by lies and dark lords and wartimes. it had me totally under its powerful grip.

hear me (with your whole body) by @teacup-tai - this was an interesting fic, focussing on the intricacies of drarry, how miscommunication and not enough talking planted misconceptions in their minds about their relationship

[Podfic] GOODNIGHT FROM YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND by GallaPlacidia by greenmegsnoham, PhenomenalAsterisk - truly phenomenal podfic, so many fun moments and laughter! this was my first podfic, both the fic and the reading were great, i loved consuming fic in this form ❤️

*[Asterisk marks a fic i haven't completely read.]

[racfoam]

Okay, poll time regarding an important purchase in my day-to-day life.

In short, I am ready to upgrade from my (glances to the Acer laptop that's been dead for a year) laptop...

I now have a very big budget (it's considered big in my country) that I got over the summer to finally spend it on an upgrade.

I need a poll because now I got an idea to buy a PC, which is dangerous territory for me for numerous reasons. Some background: I haven't had a PC since I was 14, I got my laptop (which is dead now) right as I entered high school, and it was a cheap one, it couldn't even run Minecraft without lagging which at the time pissed off my gamer childhood self.

But, as a functioning, employed adult, I finally did it. I finally saved up enough money to buy a new device.

The accesibility & portability of laptops is def what I need overall for my professional life. They're not a MUST at my work place at all, but it would be NICE to be able to access my documents on laptop & edit them there or during the way home rather than go to the office again for the PC.

Here’s the thing. The laptop I can afford is not better by performance against the gaming PC I can afford.

Why a gaming PC?

Because I am a whimsical little shit. I see a program and I want to master it for hobby's sake, or just cus I'm that curious. What if I one day want to pick up Blender or 3D sculpting or some shit just to try it?! It's happened before, and it continues happening. I jump from hyperfixation to hyperfixation like a ping pong ball. A laptop at the price range I want to buy won't be able to run complex games or Blender.

The childhood me, in my soul, wants that freaking PC. But my basic normal thought process is also aware if I get a gaming PC it may distract me from my work bcs... Well the PC will be able to do EVERYTHING. At least I'm self-aware enough of that.

Another thing is...

Durability & longer-life & upgradability

I can always upgrade the PC, I know my way around PC hardware. The PC will last me longer than the laptop probably will, and I can't upgrade the laptop.

But then I have no portability & always-accessibility the laptop offers, and if I get the laptop it will be for work, Photoshop & fic writing if I get used to it (I won't, I hate writing on laptops). Which is perfect, I'll be able to do my work even on the go, I can carry it with me, etc etc and I WON'T BE DISTRACTED.

So! I guess, vote bcs at this point I'll toss a goddamn coin! And before anyone asks, no I won't put the Macbook on the list, I like having my liver, thank you.

My biggest fear is that I've grown so used to the laptop interface if I buy a PC I'll just take time re-configuring my brain to use it, so what if I hate it? I have so many fears, and I don't want to waste my money and then go like "ugh, I'm disappointed". I'm used to reading on the laptop, typing on the laptop, working on the laptop, etc. I have all PC peripherals except a monitor but the IT stores are having huge discounts & sales now I can grab one from anywhere at this point so that doesn't concern me a lot.

This is a purchase I'll treat myself with for my birthday. I've spoken to friends, some say laptop, some say PC. Anyway, here is the poll. I'll put it for today.

I just love both but I have to pick, but I can't. Laptop is more familiar to me now than a PC 🤣 a PC would be dangerous cus I will def get the urge to play games instead of WORKING, but on the off hours it'd be a party 🤣

For info, the

PC would be

Processor: AMD Ryzen 5 5600

GPU: RX 6600

RAM: 16GB

That is the overall idea and I even found a custom pc builder in my country, too, if the prebuilt ones are too expensive, haha.

Laptop Models:

Lenovo Ideapad 3 with Ryzen 5, 16Gb RAM, Integrated Intel GPU

Lenovo V15 G5, also Ryzen 5, 16gb ram, integrated Intel GPU

[rageprufrock]

Hi Pru!!! Ik you have been back on tumblr for a little but I just found out (bc I havent been here) so in a fit of nostalgia I went through your ask/fandom tags and read old fic meme responses and honestly it really struck me that I am now at the age of when you were writing many of my favorite fics (presque vu, drastically redefining protocol, etc etc your inception, haikyuu, and merlin fic lives in my heart) amd tbh it came as a shock. I think because im probably 15 years or so younger, I've always just seen those fics and ur process behind them as so Adult and one day I will also be an Adult just like that.

Spoilers, I am not quite the Adult I envisioned myself becoming while I had been reading your fics at 13, 14, 15 etc (worringly young) but I still hold a lot of it close to my chest and I think at least I am on the right track. Anyways tldr I love your fic, thanks for writing them, from both me of past and present.

I've read this ask over and over again, and I want you to know that I found it so moving, Anon, that I've been sitting with it for ages wondering how to respond other than to say: I can't think of anything more lovely or flattering than to know that in some way, the stories I wrote have been a part of your experiences growing up. These stories felt, to me, like part of my experiences growing up, too, and that we share that in some cosmic way always makes the world feel smaller and friendlier, and my own missteps and embarrassments less searing. We're all just kind of fumbling along together.

I think if you ask anyone, none of us are the adult that we anticipated being when we were young and reading about people older than us, who we had assumed had their shit together. I like to think that we're better than those imagined versions of ourselves, wiser and more patient, kinder from going through our own difficult periods, and more forgiving of people who we see headed down the same confusing roads toward getting older that we once took. It's why I think I find myself revisiting the theme of internal transformation so much: there's something so big and bright and difficult to explain about how the shape and size of the thing inside you changes over the years, how without any trigger mechanism or intention, you might wake up one day and realize you're an entirely different, marvelous surprise even to yourself.

Thank you, from the me of both past and present, for reading. <3