#just IMAGINE ALL THE POTENTIAL LOST
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wait i just realized... the mastersword isnt even important enough to warrant zelda doing to such extreme lengths to repair it bc its NOT EVEN REQUIRED FOR DEFEATING GANONDORF
idk about you but the mastersword being not just this weak after all this but also not even required is like ... hurting the whole plot SO bad for all that zelda knew she was basically killing herself by doing the dragon thing ONLY for the mastersword, which isnt even needed to reach the end why do the dragon thing at all??? she could have put it in some other divine place for it to recover (she knew where the springs are, she knew where the krog forest is, heck she even knew where the forgotten temple is BC THEY WERE ALL THERE* and im not going to belive any of them came into existence afterwards), in botw it took 'only' a 100 years to regenerate the damage it took in botws past which, while not as extreme as in totk, was pretty bad! yeah it gets outright broken in totk but like ... really? far over 10 000 years to recover it? through ZELDA? one of the most divine being IN THE FORM of one of the most divine beings aside from the very gods themselves?? whats the use of it being able to regernate if it takes THAT long?? feels easier to forge a new one for that matter?? and the excuse that "it needed to be able to resist miasma" is like .. why tho? yeah ok fine i could do the entire bossfight with JUST the mastersword, but again, its not required! i can do it with anything else!! and its doesnt cleanse miasma either, like the sword did in tp when you could do away the twilight stuff when it got the super glow stuff so its really like ... she did that JUST for the sword? really? the fact that her becoming a dragon is the way to get her back into her time isnt something she could have known and it working out like that makes it feel like a massive fail of the writers bc it makes it feel less like an actual decision she made for good reason and more bc its a decision the writers made bc the writers already knew where it would end, the writers knew shed be turned back in the end no problem so they had her do the dragon thing despite it being pretty senseless from her perspective
(wouldnt it have felt more in character and logical to put the mastersword somwhere safe where it can recover over all those centuries and search for a way to return to her time herself? like in these two games ZELDA feels like the more important thing that the sword, -zeldas prone to sacrifice herself for other- WHY! its better for everyone if you are alive rather than dead! you got to this time by yourself and also somehow not jsut shifted the time but also PLACE bc you sure as hell didnt appear in a cavern in the middle of the land, you have wielded incredible magic before and are a researcher, surely theres some way for you to at least TRY to return on your own?? how cool would it have been to find little markers and spots where clearly she has left you some sort of message, maybe like a way for you to do something that helps her in the past, USE THE WEIRD ASS TIME BUBBLES FROM THE TUTORIAL AGAIN!! send back something she needs to return! go and talk with impa and purah to determine what shes trying to tell you, help her along the way and in the end she makes her triumphant return, having grown and learned with what she did instead of regressing her chaarcter to the big eyed maiden that you get as a reward at the end through unsatisfying bs reasons and hurray she doesnt even remember, perfect little fairytale of no consequences wahoo- im salty about this let me be salty-)
you can absolutely combine a free to explore open world with good story without restricting it by much, like locking the bossfight behind aquiring the mastersword doesnt feel like that big of a change and its not making it a whole lot more linear, most people do it anyway right?
(also a thing im doing in my rewrite of it is locking certain things for some parts, it just makes sense if you are trying to tell a story, but its pretty clear now they werent trying to do that, just throw you into a box of virtual toys, and i think thats just sad)
*yeah actually whats up with the sonau/rauru putting their little nuclear super weapon storage room inTO THE ANCIENT RELICT OF THE FORGOTTEN PAST TEMPLE BEHIND THE BIGGEST STATUE OF HYLIA IN EXISTENCE?? you cant tell me all those ancient ruins (springs, forgotten temple) were made AFTER all of the shitshow that went down in totks past; putting it behind that statue? building it into there feels incredibly disrespectful, maybe it makes more sense if you just see it as the devs wanting to put somethign new there, but if you consider it in universe its just ??? also HOW is any of it in such a good shape??, it looks like they buried sonia there a year ago, the structures look like they just came out of a 3d printer despite supposedly being older than their recorded history??
on that note ... how does the room with the order and location of zeldas tears make sense .. are you telling me someone of the past ran around after dragon zelda recording where her fucking tears went down and what markings it made on the ground and then built a room next to the nuclear weapon storage room with the laughably unceremonial grave of the fucking queen just to put all that into statue form? also none of the geographical things changed in ALL that time?? the castle is drawn on there too so i guess that was super fresh then since it "was built above ganondorf as a symbol of royal blahbla" at least in botw you had the photos on your SHIEKAH stone to recover them once you found the place they were taken in, it felt so organically integrated ..
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#this game drives me nuts (derogatory)#random ramblings ramble#the fact that all the sonau stuff is basically unscathed through all that time is like#that looks less ancient than the shiekah stuff#actually kinda boring#like unpainted blocks of toys#it just all doesnt fit together in my eyes#its gonna bother me forever#you had it all and didnt do anything with it#i love botws world#it had so much potential#never gonna get over the lost potential of it all#this could have been so epic#whenever i hear the trailer music my heart hurts bc i just have to imagine what it would be like#what i thought it was gonna be given the fantastic music#still dream of painting like a trailer for my totk rewrite using the trailer music#but god that aint doable#and would be nuked ofthe internet in an instant lol
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thinking about pilot draft dean harrison again
#imagine if he got handed over to an insane gay person. the lost camp potential of it all.#we could've had a bill paxton as severen in near dark kinda guy....#i love toxically masculine nutjob characters but dean doesn't quite hit that spot for me hmmm. even when he's a demon.#show dean's machismo is so boring to me bc it's so mundane. does anyone get me#he's exactly like every cishet man i've ever known#it's why im fond of early series dean. at least he used to be a bit more of a manic pixie tyler durdenesque silly guy. but barely.#his evolution on the show just turned him into#your average middle-aged uncle who thinks drinking water is a 'lil bit gay'#now i'm just gonna go listen to The Downward Spiral again and think on what could've been..............#j.txt
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#TEARING my hair out this morning#mr sp ended up in a&e yesterday with an ankle injury which is looking like a completely severed tendon#which - in his line of work - is a career ending injury#i am just at my WITS END with this year. it has been unendingly shitty#my sister's post natal depression has worsened and is showing no signs of letting up. our house got sold out from underneath us.#every single immediate family member besides my parents has had a major crisis this year. my best friend lost her twins & now can't conceiv#and i spent all of yesterday at work being asked how's the business going? well great. except that it's no more set up than it was in jan#because i'm busy cleaning up the chaos and now i potentially am going to have my husband medically signed off#which fcks us in so many ways imaginable because he is so close to finishing his current job he has FIVE MONTHS LEFT and then we're free#and i can't believe he is this close to the end and now. can't walk. literally can't do anything. probably is going to need surgeries#UGH i know there's worse stuff going on in the world but 2024 has just been a steaming pile of shit and I am so exhausted by it all
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hello chat i am going to be a hater in tags for a moment (jst finished natlan act IV)
#snobrambles#wow /neg#i heard the story was bad but WOWWW#hoyo you are lost potential the company#you took the topic of war and had so many different routes and perspectives to look into and you went with power of friendship#I KNEW IT WAS POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BC I HEARD MOOTS TALK ABOUT IT BUT I DIDNT THINK ITD BE SO ABRUPT?#im not even mad im just mildly annoyed#there were parts i liked like where youd see differences depending on what you decide to do#like chosing to save one or the other and seeing the consequences#i thought that was neat#other thing i liked was diff chars talking about how witnessing all this scarred them but. i wish they fed into that more#and actually SHOWED that feeling rather than just going “wow! so im traumatized now”#and dude you couldve done more with the ancient names and mauvikas past.#like you couldve at least made it so that the six heros reminded her of the people she knew#give us a bit of sorrow instead of her walking around imagining her old friends and smiling bc tbh that made me feel nothing#and god the six heros thing did not feel well earned#its yae all over again in the sense that it felt like everything got solved way too easily#like wtf were all those losses for. it felt pointless#paimon getting emotional and us probably seperating in the next act was somewhat intriguing#i feel nothing for any of the chars except kinich but thats bc i find him funny#ugh. this story couldve been so much better#war itself is such an interesting topic in stories and it has so much potential and they absolutely fumbled and flunked it#also chuychus death was so abrupt and chasca crashing out made me laugh. sorry. ik it was supposed to be sad but i felt nothing#she was holding back her inner alpha wolf THE GACHA ALLEGATIONS ARE NOT ENDING#i felt nothing most of the time#the only strong feeling i felt throughout the quest was annoyance (cough mainly bc of citlali cough)#dude even the fake sky part felt underwhelming#i dont like how they brought it up out of nowhere and then barely adressed it#“anomaly” ok. ig. so what was all that buildup abt the fake sky for. only to show it and then shove it under the rug#i have more thoughts but tumblrs going to eat my tags to tl;dr: (furina voice) BOOOOOORING
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imagine thinking that trans men are inherently bad or evil or predatory on the basis of gendered privilege and societal power structures. cringe
#transmasc discourse#like the idea that trans men gain male privilege and kick down the ladder to beat on the queer community is astonishingly stupid at best#the idea that transphobia or queerphobia as a whole doesn't affect them because they're Assimilating With The Oppressors is like#man fucking what is up with people yknow#gender essentialism is fucked up and it's the same force that's beaten down on bi ace and transfem people#the fact that this has turned into 'trans rights but only for the women' by some dumb-fuck shitstains is awful#no. trans rights for all.#like let me explain what I mean here: trans men aren't seen as men by transphobes#it's not 'oh you're a fella? crack a cold beer and let's bash some gays'. passing as a man has just as much risk to it as passing as a woman#because a man who will attack a trans woman as someone who is not a woman will most likely attack a trans man he does not see as a man#with the same violence he might level against a cis woman#that's just on the masc side. i can't speak for any violence against trans men by cis women but I can see how cis women discredit trans men#by claiming them as Lost Lesbians and Sisters In Arms who've been lost due to the Trans Agenda#like people shit on bi people because they have 'passing privilege'. but we know that bi people face homophobia#and other issues about their orientation. the idea that trans men get their Boys Will Be Boys card is to focus on a tiny selection#that *potentially* has the power to he a shithead - like a queerphobic asexual person or a malicious bi person#and paint an entire group of diverse people as literally the worst interpretation you can imagine about them#like consider that you have your own issues and/or biases in regards to people you like and want to hang out with#and stop calling entire groups of people invaders and oppressors whose entire goal is to upend the community#and turn the power of queer people against them#i understand how it feels to feel powerless and to have somewhere where you feel supported and safe#but if you're going to see pain and hate in every group who shares your experience but gives you an ick for whatever reason#there's a solid chance that the Righteous Crusade against them is - in fact - your own personal dislike wielding a modicum of power#that essentially functions the same way that hetero- and cis-normative standards and people have rejected you.#it is essentially you becoming the bully. and just like bi and ace and transfem people before I won't stand for it#trans men are my people.
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I wanna make more sense of Petscop just from like. my brain and not looking things up and trying to see what I can form. But I do think it's a really obtuse reading of it to assert that Paul and Care and "Pall" are not the same person. But I'm trying to entertain the thought just to look at it from another angle
#since Paul's last name is Leskowitz and not Mark#I imagine after Anne and Marvin separated she gave her child her maiden name#I do also think the red-and-yellow striped egg is indicative of what a person can potentially become#the red and yellow colors are Paul and Care's respective associated colors#I imagine Tiara and Belle colors are pink and purple like the other egg. I think Tiara's color is pink right?#She's definitely the pink text behind the Tool by the windmill like ... right?#I'm still confused about what exactly happened with Lina's death and the windmill#My initial thoughts were ''it dissapeared'' after the tragedy occurred and went into disrepair#I forget Belle's name's color that's used when they call her that. I thought it was dark blue but it mightve been purple.#I'm confused at how Marvin didn't try to stop Paul physically after he failed the rebirthing song. Which shouldn't have been a problem#This is something he has done before but instead he just left in-game#I think especially the description the egg has of ''? You should start thinking about that''#Where by looking at what this egg is you get your answer. Like well . . . Think about it. It's your you. You should think about that.#Rewatching this I feel as though there's an epilogue I missed or something#It makes me almost want to rewatch all of it AGAIN while it's fresh in my mind to see#I feel like around ep. 14 I get lost but I think this is when the demos start getting reviewed#Paul's name being ''Pall'' in the game is important as caskets are important. What a ''pall'' is to a casket.#IDK. that's my petscop thoughts insofar#I have to remember who's all related to eachother. I know Tiara isn't family so her features aren't in the database
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self indulgent got concept.
Ned brings Jon home, Cat hates the boy, everything stays the same... until Robert Baratheon is charging through the halls of Winterfell looking for the babe, ready to butcher the poor thing where he lay helpless in his cradle.
in a matter of moments Catelyn learns three things:
The babe was never a bastard, Ned had only lied to her to protect Jon, and that she would die before she let Robert lay a finger on the babe she'd previously wished death upon.
cue Catelyn Stark snatching Jon from his cradle, holding him, protecting him, loving him as she would her own son, risking it all to keep him safe, all care for herself thrown to the wind.
like they say, what a mother's love holds no bounds, and what it makes her capable of had no limits.
#listen listen listen#I just want Catelyn to love Jon Snow and I don't care what I ahve to do to make it happen#(plus the angst is delicious)#I was rewatching old kids movies and ended up watching ice age and idk why but the mom sacrificing herself for her babe gave me ideas#I just imagine young Cat holding onto the boy she hated and wished death on for being bastard (only to find out he wasn't one) as tightly-#as she could. knowing Robert and his men were coming. knowing they would slaughter the boy in front of her. knwoing she'd wished for this-#and deciding she'd give her own life to protect him if thats what it came to.#and in my mind she jumped from the window of the nursery knowing the halls will be filled with the kings men and leave little chance for-#escape. before fleeing on injured legs to hide the babe and herself knowing Robert would be right behind her. she's in agony. but she'll-#going for the babes sake. she won't stop until her heart is dead in her chest. even if it hurts to move and breath and think he keeps going#maybe she takes a horse and flees wintefell all together. maybe she hides somewhere in/around the castle. maybe Robert catches her?#if she runs with him she'd have nothing but the clothes on her back. she'd have to feed him and keep him warm. she'd have left her own son-#behind. the potential angst and hurt/comfort as Cat misses her own son and learns to love another. feeding him and keeping him warm from-#her own body while she's injured and lost and at the will of the elements of the strange new place she now considered calling home#idk I just think it'd be an interesting concept#there's something about a mother and her child being cornered by 'wolves' (in this case a stag). this has the added spice of Cat and Jon's-#dynamic. just earlier that day she could barely look at him and now she's willing to die for him. the change happened in seconds.#that was a lot of ranting in the tags. oops. anyway...#catelyn stark#jon snow#I love putting these two in harrowing. life altering. and/or traumatic situations so they can finally just be mother and son#I live for the angsty family feels#got#game of thrones#asoiaf
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I started getting into Heaven Official's Blessing, and the similarities between Xie Lian and Guda have me sobbing.
Both were seventeen when their lives were irrevocably changed forever. Kind and naive teens, with hope in their hearts of saving the world. Only to have it all thrown in their faces in the worst ways possible. Forced to become hardened and cruel when all they want to be is kind. Sacrificing so much, even parts of themselves, only for it to mean nothing to ungrateful masses.
Two people who have taught themselves to be overwhelmingly optimistic or be crushed with the absolute horror and trauma of all that they've endured.
All I can imagine is Xie Lian being summoned as a servant towards the beginning of Guda's journey. Seeing this poor kid put in this horrific situation in which they have to save the world or risk extinction, and them accepting it with absolutely resolve and unwavering determination. Looking at them and being reminded so much of himself and the words he once uttered so long ago.
"I wish to save the common people"
Remembering leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and thinks, 'Not this child. I won't let their journey turn out like mine'.
When the singularities are resolved and humanity restored, Xie Lian is desummoned back to his own world. He is left feeling sad having to leave Guda (who he has come to see as his own child), but proud about how it all ended without them losing it all. He is happy that Guda's journey ends in an optimistic note.
Until he is resummoned during the lostbelts, and is met with the broken down shell of who Guda used to be. He is beyond horrified and devastated at the realization that not only did Guda's journey continue, but had gone down a much more horrific path than his own did.
Nothing is worse than thinking you've saved someone, only to realize that you didn't and that their fate was far darker than yours ever was.
#idea dump#ramblings of a sleep deprived girl#fate grand order#heaven official's blessing#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#is tgcf a lost world? lostbelt? alternate universe who unexpectedly crosses with fate? who knows#hulian summoned as servants separately at first#then later on as one single duo servant (like sakamoto and oryou)#you can't tell me they wouldn't be summoned together if they were heroic spirits#i have ideas and I haven't even finished the series and all I am running on are spoilers#also before everyone asks Xie Lian is a saber. Hua Cheng an Avenger. hulian as a duo servant would be Ruler.#spoilers#listen thinking about the parallels between Guda and Xie Lian makes me sad#thinking about their potential dynamic during the singularities as healing until the lostbelts hit#then it's just trauma and ptsd and utter devastation for everyone involved#I'm crying thinking about them okay#curse you insomnia#also imagine Hua Cheng also thinking of Guda as his own child#and being reminded so much of Xie Lian before he was torn down by an ungrateful world#then when the lostbelts happen he feels like he was just a poor powerless ghost fire again#watching this child who reminds him of Xie Lian be used and reduce to a shell of themselves by an undeserving world#and being unable to do anything about it because it is something that Guda has to do for the sake of survival#thinking about Hulian parenting Guda is like a double whammy
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i feel so aimless and full of despair like 89% of the time. and i need to just go to bed but i took a nap earlier and there is only so much time you can spend asleep
#i ply my brain with content in hopes of making it shut up but aaa#like i ask my peers and friends like does everyone feel like this? does anyone know what theyre doing?#and people are like yeah haha im aimless too all while seeming to work towards goals and futures#and i just feel so pointless . i want to be nothing . i want to fast forward until it's all over#there is more to life than a career but whenever i want to really believe that i feel naive#everyone here is so ambitious and driven and it makes me feel pathetic and slovenly and horrible#im lying to myself saying i'll apply to X and Y and doing nothing to work towards it#even the things ive been most excited abt this summer dont seem all that fun anymore. because it's just time marching on#i want to embrace that spirit of 'sometimes i imagine i already died and begged god to let me live again' to appreciate everything#and it helps sometimes but other times i just still am So sad and lost#and it's such a privilege to be able to feel this aimlessness and wonder about like what to do with myself but i also just feel so naive#like have i squandered my potential? my opportunities? should i go into investment or consulting or tech like 40% of my classmates?#i just want to do something meaningful#this is just the 11pm talking . but this is my blog and if i want to despairpost i will#im gonna go shower.
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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God nothing hits like early bleach, the substitute shinigami arc and rukia’s execution arc are just. Ugh. Something about the crunchy-ass early 2000s-ness of it that the rest of the series lost (not just animation wise but aesthetic wise), when there was still hope that all the potential would be capitalized on, idk, it was just fun and getting to fall in love with all the characters because pretty much every single one introduced was great and engaging. I just really really wish the series had kept that early vibe that it started losing once the visoreds were introduced, they got the last little tail end of it. As soon as we got to the heuco mundo arc this all vanished and it’s so upsetting, the series just lost a lot of its personality, if that makes sense, I wish it had kept it so badly
#like they’re all the same characters but they all started taking themselves way too seriously after that point#and I do get that that’s when the Big Plot actually started picking up (which is a whole other thing I have thoughts on)#but like… idk the series just lost a lot of its early charm and appeal#which is funny considering the hueco mundo arc is actually my favorite one#but idk I’m watching the first arc for fun today#and I forgot how much of ASSHOLES rukia and ichigo were and how fun their dynamic was#and yeah I fucking miss it it’s just not the same the rest of the series#not to mention tatsuki actually got a lot of focus#even Chad and Orihime and uryu felt a lot more genuine than they did the rest of the series#(though that’s because it was before they were reduce to being Ichigo’s love interest and then cannon fodder to shittily power scale enemies#by getting the shit beat out of them because kubo didn’t know how else to do it)#idk like I said! I just wish the series had stuck a lot better to its earlier aesthetic#like it still could have worked with the more ‘serious’ plot lines v easily considering how well it meshed with rukia’s execution#I JUST MISS RUKIA YELLING AT FLIP PHONES AND ICHIGO BEING BAD AT SNEAKING OUT WINDOWS AND TATSUKI RAGGING ON THEM#AND THEIR NORMAL ASS CLASSMATES TALKING ABOUT HOW FUCKING WEIRD THEY ALL WERE LIKE IT WAS SO GOOD 😩😩😩#imagine that energy being applied to the hueco mundo arc it would have been great#it even would have been fun to see it come back during the fullbringer arc as a bunch of fun callbacks to the early bleach that was#being alluded to that entire arc with parallels#anyways once again weeping the potential this series had#someone watch it so we can talk about it and set up our own insanely convoluted canon for funsies on discord or something lmfao#kaz rambles
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nishiki 12, 29?? 👀 i want to create chaos -squishy
sorry this was so late aghsdhahdh I always write too much and then have to whittle things down a bit so my thoughts are comprehensible
12. sexuality hc?
wellll I can pretty easily accept either gay or bi, but the way I interpret some of his actions/history/behavior/etc makes my personal view of him lean more towards gay than anything.
he’s never really shown real interest/attraction to women beyond using them as status symbols, and the whole thing with yumi made no sense (for him and kiryu both- you know my opinion on that plotpoint by now) and if I had to explain it rather than ignore it I’d have to say it was a weird half-assed excuse he came up with to explain some of his actions instead of addressing his actual issues at first.
but yeah I mean come on. have you SEEN reina. she’s cool and ridiculously pretty and goes above and beyond to care for him and others in general and etc etc etc, she was interested for YEARS and he never reciprocated At All. to me the Easiest explanation for that, whether he was aware of it or not (probably not), is just. him not really being into women. and possibly (at least at first) respecting reina enough to not fake her out and treat her like the girls that he had hang around him at the bars to look good to his superiors. in fact I think if he were to open up about all this to anyone it would be her (drunk, crying).
idk, a lot about him just sort of makes sense when you consider him to be gay and very repressed. boy’s got identity issues off the SHITS already, so it ties into that quite naturally.
29. how do you think they would be as a parent?
I think it depends on where he is in his recovery (mentally and physically) and the circumstances leading to that parenthood. similar to kiryu, I think he’d connect with orphans well and empathize with them strongly for obvious reasons. if he were to spend time in okinawa, perhaps to help him recover after The Incident, he’d be pretty closed off and prickly with everyone, kids included, at first– but honestly I think they’d help alot to get him to open up, regain trust, and enjoy life again. I don’t think he’d want to do it alone, or trust himself to, but he could end up fitting in pretty naturally as a guardian to them, and on the flip side, he’d benefit from having genuine care and lack of judgment through a tough recovery.
(I think he’d become quickly attached to riona above all else due to them sharing some feelings about their burn scars and how they look, and survivors guilt surrounding their parents)
#nishiki#asks#rambling#this was my only ask from this ask game and I was still ridiculously late agdhdshshshdhd#sorry squishy it’s not u it’s me………..#I have a LOT of thoughts about that situation of nishiki at morning glory during recovery and all that….a lot of thoughts#I mean shit having to cope with the burns is one thing but getting used to an entire limb missing potentially??? that’s a MAJOR lifestyle#change that everyone would end up helping with at least a little I think#I can just imagine him going to help the kids play baseball on the beach and realizing as soon as he picks up a bat that he doesn’t have#two hands to swing with anymore and that just sorta. breaking him#it’s reminding me of an oc of mine who lost an arm in a train/car collision and afterwards when he was having to return to everyday life#(especially before getting a prosthetic) he goes and tries to cook for his fiancé before he gets home and his fiancé ends up coming home to#find him on the floor on his knees in the kitchen with some stuff knocked over on the ground that he presumably tried to pull from the#cabinet and hold with his arm that isn’t there or something along those lines and he’s just. sobbing.#his fiancé ends up helping him out and holding things for him and all that but yeah point is I feel like nishiki would have alot of these#kinds of moments but Worse and More Often and more regarding his appearance than anything else#cause we know this boy’s already got some major self image issues#it’s very sweet to think about how he’d bond with riona and how she’d help him open up a bit more and come to terms with his physical state#long post
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Has anyone heard ‘oh oh oh sexy vampire’ by disco warp?
Well I have Fic idea in mind where the reader either a) knows there are vampires in Santa Carla or b) is like ‘sure Jan’ about it ya know? Anyway baby girl is a way head of the twilight craze in the 80s and is like ‘oh sexy vampire~’ anyway that’s as far as the idea goes so far but help me develop it further by voting for which character is to be paired with our baby gurl. Also I thought it would be funny if our baby girl is like a sibling or cousin to the frog brothers
#the lost boys dwayne#the lost boys star#the lost boys fanfiction#the lost boys 1987#david the lost boys#the lost boys paul#marko the lost boys#the lost boys imagines#potential fic#sexy vampire#I’m falling in love#so just bite me baby#and drink all my blood ❤️#Spotify
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where is the human!nand e rmo au fanart 😔 do I have to do everything myself around here
#ok but imagine the hilarious fish out of water hijinks that could have been written from that. all of the lost potential#human na n dor gets addicted to club pe nguin and puts the household into bankruptcy to fuel his addiction to sledding game#gui ll er mo forces him to cut his hair and change his wardrobe because its just getting weird at this point
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5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.
But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.
Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.
For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.
But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.
Happy.
It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.
Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.
It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.
A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.
5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.
It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.
Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.
I’m a Rescue.
She gave me a Home.
And, so, I gave her a Family.
It seemed fair
This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.
don’t give up yet, ok?
It could get good, even.
#troglodyte thoughts#tales from Real Life#cw addiction#cw alcohol#sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train#run#fight#hide#SURVIVE#do not go into the light#there are unpet dogs#and unhugged children#and unseen sunsets#and maybe even love#even for a wretch like me#the best part of your life might be old age#you don’t know
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I was thinking the same thing like
1. That’s not the most common reason
And
2. Even if it was
Also, like, I'm sorry but if you've set up a free shelter, and people refuse to go because sleeping on the sidewalk under a freeway bridge is more pleasant, that's fucking on you, that's not on them.
You really can't compete with sleeping under the overpass so you are going to force people into shelter?
Unspeakably cruel and stupid.
#these people don’t have a shred of common decency to afford to their fellow humans#like even if I was uninformed and ignorant of all the real reasons and thought the only reason was drugs#like maybe help them with the drugs instead of just saying you go cold turkey (which is potentially FATAL)#when I first moved to a metropolitan area as a teen I struck up conversations with all the homeless people I met#and I was always like bro I’m so sorry I’m literally negative 17 bucks in my back account#(being an emancipated minor doesn’t mean places will pay you like your a legal adult…..even tho technically you are.)#but I can chat with you and you can tell me what you know about life because I’m sure it’s more than baby me#so I developed a handful of them that I would bring a coffee to that I’d brewedat home and they’d tell me the news of the town#while walking me from where I had to park (nearly 3k away from my job because of parking meters I couldn’t afford) to my work every morning#the struggles they were dealing with were unreal#the sheer unfairness#how often they just got….literwlly all their possessions to their name stolen#mostly by cops#I’ve only lost all my possessions once when I had to flee a deadly situation and it scarred me for life#like not that material things MATTER more than your LIFE but it absolutely sculpted my interactions with physical possessions#for the rest of my life#I can’t imagine that instability and dehumanizing happenening REGULARLY#once was enough to screw up my relationship to owning anything#these people will never recover from this completely#and that’s not even remotely the worst thing these guys dealt with#homelessness#we need to do better
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