#juniorisms

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[io-lu-art]

A tale of Ba Sing Se.

[brennan-lee-mother]

Diversity win! Ancestral curse recognises non-biological parenthood!

[outromoony]

Me when the slow burn is slow burning

[emiuli]

No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her.

[killerunicorn3]

[rizsnt]

see you at basrar's! ✶✶✶

bonus: yearbook page!

[polarsirens]

i am not at all caught up with fantasy high freshman and sophomore year but i’ve jumped into the middle of things and this today nearly made me bawl

life kinda sucks and i haven’t time to enjoy my comfort media but junior year’s been…. it’s really been a wonderful thing to have this to look forward to every week

[marinecanary]

Kristen "the greatest cleric of our age" Chilis Applebees

[nevern0thing]

[mellosdrawings]

I dare you to say I'm wrong.

[alltears]

the intrepid heroes reached new levels of Accurate Teenage Friendship tonight (see also)

[twobeesornottwobees]

watching ally beardsley transition over the past five years has been really wonderful and affirming but also hilarious. they went from looking like siobhan to looking like brennan. truly the entire anglo-saxon spectrum of gender.

[cloudmancy]

I saw you again in a dream, or maybe it was a nightmare

[emiuli]

Bound to fall in love 💖