#june screaming about this is the only reason I finished this lmao

[heartkyeom]

lunch break

chwe hansol x fem!reader

word count: 2k

tag list: @junkissed @hyucks-rose @maijunejuly

warnings: enclosed spaces, reader has vagina, idk how else to say someone's getting head lmao, overstimulation, slightly mean banter, hate sex, fluff, the tiniest bit of angst? maybe?

a/n: first new fic in over a month? you love to see it! cannot believe this is my first vernon fic, this is SO overdue lmao... this is mostly for june + any other dollys that have been waiting for a vernon fic from me lol I'm sorry! it's been bothering me since he's in my bias line, but I just didn't know how to write him! anyways hope this is worth the wait <3 hope you enjoy as always!!

“Vernon, can I have a word with you?” You ask him politely, putting on your most reasonable office voice to face him. You hate doing this, you hate being the one to ask to cross the line, but he wouldn’t do it.

The office has been tense for at least a year, you stopped counting after that. He’s convinced that you care too much about your work, you’re insistent that he doesn’t care enough and both of you are shocked at how much the other gets done with their approach.

It’s meaningless, you’re both fighting towards nothing in the eyes of your coworkers, but it gives you both something to do. Thus, you like to take the steam off every once in a while.

He’s too nonchalant, too unbothered, too himself to do anything substantial, so here you are, asking for permission to be alone with him like a schoolgirl.

He eyes you up and down for a moment before nodding. “Sure.” 

He gets up from his desk to meet you at his door, gently closing it behind him to follow you.

Once the eyes of your coworkers are off you in the secluded hallway, you adjust your path to the 3rd floor supply closet. He lets you in first, stopping to make a final perimeter check to ensure the coast was clear before closing the door behind him, locking it for good measure.

He pins you against the door with a desperate kiss, you moan immediately and tilt your head, pressing yourself into him even further than before. He pulls away to laugh at you for a second. “Took you long enough,” He smirks before leaving a peck on your lips again.

“You’re greedy as fuck, you’re lucky I even asked you at all,” The last word barely makes its way out of your mouth as he’s kissing down your neck, barely letting your skin breathe.

“It’s been almost two weeks, I thought we had an agreement?” His question is valid, seeing as you both eventually found a rhythm of having workplace sex once a week, twice or even three times if someone was feeling particularly desperate for attention.

You were both single, both operating under the assumption that you could end this at any time if someone wanted to take dating seriously with someone else, but this was a bit too convenient to end.

“You act like you’re my boyfriend,” You pant with a hint of irritation, but still make sure to leave a kiss behind his ear before he retreats from your neck. 

“I don’t want to be, it sounds like hell,” He lowers to his knees, hooking his fingers underneath your skirt to slip off your underwear without much effort, you instinctively pick your feet up one by one to free the fabric completely. He marvels at the sight of it being a black thong. “Good day for you to ask though, you dressed up for me,” He eyes the thong again before tossing it aside.

“I wasn’t thinking about you when I did it, trust me. And why do you keep doing this then?” You watch him think through his next move, he doesn’t stop to think, just runs his hand along your thighs in anticipation.

“Because I like tasting your cunt, don’t be dense,” He mutters before hiking up your pencil skirt just high enough to give him proper access. You were grateful that the weather was still easing into fall so that he wasn’t ripping your best tights just yet.

He’s mean as hell when he wants to be and his bluntness is only helpful when work requires it, not whenever you two meet up. You were used to the harsh banter, of course, but the delivery still stung on occasion.

Like always, he parts your legs open before his tongue hits your clit harshly, barely giving you the chance to adjust to the new pressure. Vernon always gave you head as if he’d never see you again which was only slightly frustrating before you remember how great the orgasms are. 

“Fuck,” You sigh out deeply, and your eyes flutter shut for a moment. He’s rebellious now that no one’s around, taking the opportunity to palm your ass with his spare hand and knead the flesh roughly for a few moments. His other hand is on your hip, helping you stay steady so that you don’t fall on top of him again, a mistake that he has never let you live down.

He makes quick work, he always has when you’re in the supply closet. You haven’t done anything else past this, past you getting head or him getting a blowjob, but he’s mostly just open to the former.

You’ve imagined it though, the idea of cockwarming him in the comfort of your own bed, waking up next to him and not worrying about being caught.

He seems to catch on to your daydreaming though. “You look bored,” He deadpans. “Am I boring you?”

“No, just got distracted for a second,” You adjust your positioning. You try to play it off the best you can.

“Do I want to know what it is or is that a mistake to ask?” He switches to stroking your clit slowly to engage you in this conversation, but you can tell he doesn’t want to keep discussing this.

“No, because that would fall under boyfriend stuff,” You squint your eyes at him and he nods.

“Works for me,” He puts his face against your cunt again, you move to put your hands in his hair and look down at him.

You’re back in the throes of pleasure when he increases his speed and you’re grateful for his non-attachment at this moment. If you didn’t want him to talk about something, he would never bring it up again.

He knew when to leave well enough alone. 

“I’m close,” You whine, throwing your head back and tightening your grip in his hair, almost pushing him further between your legs.

He responds by tapping his fingers on your hip, a silent affirmation that he heard you and wouldn’t be slowing down anytime soon. 

His nose brushes your clit and you almost lose your balance again, the action always makes you lose your breath no matter what.

“Fuck,” Your voice suddenly loses its bearing and that’s how you know you’re cumming, the sensation hits you so suddenly that you can’t alert him again, your knees simply buckle from the release. He’s able to steady you again though, gripping your thighs so you don’t fall over.

You look at him with heavy lidded eyes and shockingly, he’s looking back at you. You watch his fingers dip into your slit and you have to brace yourself again.

Vernon didn’t opt for overstimulation very often, but when he did, it was always intense. You feel your walls instantly flutter around two of his fingers, they suck him in a little too quickly.

“Someone’s eager,” he chuckles to himself.

“Fuck off,” You whine, turning your head away from him to look at the assorted cleaning products that lined the shelves. 

“No, don’t avoid me now,” He warns. You reluctantly look back at him, squaring your jaw from the pressure of his fingers inside of you. 

“Fucker,” You whisper. He knew his gaze was powerful, he knew he could get you to fold just from looking at him for just a bit too long.

“Just one more, you can do one more,” He insists. You groan at the sound of your arousal covering his fingers as he plunges himself in and out of you.

You’re already dizzy at the feeling of two fingers, but you’re a goner once he goes for three. While he was simply trying to get you riled up before with quick but shallow movements, the third finger pushed him to hit your g-spot over and over until you lose it.

You scream into your hand as you cum on his fingers and hit the back of your head against the door, not hard enough to actually cause any damage, but enough to get Vernon to stare at you with wide eyes. 

“Shit, you alright babe?” He’s obviously somewhat panicked, slightly too much in your opinion. If he’s pulling out nicknames, he’s clearly not joking.

“Yeah, I’m not dead,” You play off his concern easily. You decide to kneel onto the ground until you’re sitting next to him in an attempt to catch your breath.

“Why did you do that?”

“Thought I’d spice it up since it’s been a minute, but I didn’t think you’d be concussive from it,” He laughs awkwardly. 

“I’m not concussive and maybe you’re too hard on me!” You poke his shoulder and he playfully frowns.

“Oh, even though you beg me to go faster nine times out of ten, I’m suddenly too hard on you? Bullshit,” He isn’t convinced and it’s true, your argument doesn’t hold up much. 

Past you was simply too whipped for him. It was a clear weakness of yours, that you were weak for him to begin with.

“Fine, whatever, it still hurts like hell though,” You cradle the back of your head with a slight twinge of pain present on your face.

“Do you want me to kiss it better?” 

“You’re a dickhead,” You roll your eyes.

“I’m serious, Y/N, come on,” He lifts your head up, turning your body quickly to face the back of your head. 

“Where does it hurt?”

You hover around your head for a moment before your fingers land near the crown of your hair. 

“Here.”

He silently takes your fingers in one hand and holds them gingerly, tilting your head down to give him better access. He leaves a gentle kiss on the spot that you pointed out.

It’s far more tender than you expected.

“Sorry about that again,” He drops your fingers like he wasn’t holding them in the first place. 

“It’s fine,” You close your eyes and adjust your position back to where your head can rest on the door.

“I wanna make it up to you,” He sounds halfway earnest about it too. You’re only hesitant because this doesn’t sound like something he’d do, but maybe that was a good thing.

“What are you thinking of?”

“I’ll make dinner for us at your place and we can have sex all you want,” he sighs loudly, “however you feel is the right amount.”

“You really are sorry, huh?”

“Is that a yes?”

“A reluctant yes because I don’t know if you can cook or not,” This is a valid concern in your mind, especially since he was coming over to your place to cook.

Now he’s the one rolling his eyes, but he pivots the conversation. “Ok, your misguided assumption aside, does Friday night work?” 

“How do you know I don’t have any plans?” 

“I’ve seen you outside of work, you do not have plans,” He smirks knowingly. You curse the moment he saw you grocery shopping in your pajamas one Friday night months ago, he really wouldn’t let you forget anything. 

“Fine! I’m free,” You shake off your offended reaction and agree to the plans.

He smiles so wide that you don’t think you’ve ever seen him this happy. “Great,” he responds with a nod. 

“Fantastic. You can leave now, lover boy,” You move out of the way to let him out and he responds again before he’s completely out of the door.

“Right, don’t be a stranger,” His words linger even after he shuts the door.

You’ve had his number for a while, you don’t even remember why you had it to begin with. He gave it to you for “emergencies”, but let’s be honest, you’re not calling or texting each other unless it’s a sex-related emergency.

Now, his number seems to burn a hole in your pocket. 

You plan to text him the day before, mostly for your own sake to remember that this was actually happening.

He could surprise you. 

That’s what you hang on to, the idea that things could be different, that you could both lean into the change and expand things between you even slightly.

He’s making it up to you, so you figure you should enjoy it.

You’ve managed to keep your heart safe for this long, so you decide you can test the waters, at least for one night.

[equallyshaw]

(i might do a blurb on his pov during those lost years)

YES!! i love seeing other povs!!

this takes place during 2018 christmas, june 2019 & summer 2023!

warnings: swearing! jack being immature lmao

send in more thoughts pls!!

everything that kailey did, annoyed the absolute crap out of jack. luke nor quinn had ever understood why, and jack never wanted to explain why. this christmas in particular was difficult, and missing a cherished member of the hughes family. kailey had been having a difficult time in highschool thus far, her sophomore year with luke. she decided that she was gonna fly up to upstate new york, to get away and be in a different environment. and truth be told, while she was dealing with bullies at school she was also dealing with a bully at home, and could never escape them.

☆

christmas 2018-

it was the day before christmas eve, and quinn had just flown in while kailey was flying out. he got into jims car and he could sense that something was wrong or off, "whats going on dad?" he questioned, nervous that it had to do with kailey. and he was right. "kails went to go visit my folks in upstate new york. she'll be back on the 2nd." he said and quinns eyebrows crinkled. "she's- she's having a really hard time at school and we already know that jack isn't helping. id rather ship him off if he didn't have practice." jim muttered and quinn sighed. "what is wrong with him? I've already spoken to him a lot this summer and he still isn't getting it." quinn said pulling out his phone to text kailey, "you're mom has about had it." jim said getting onto the expressway.

_

as soon as quinn walked in, he quickly went to go find jack who was with luke downstairs. "what the hell is wrong with you?!" quinn asked turning the tv off. "hey!" both younger brothers exclaimed, and quinn shook his head. "what is wrong with you jack, huh? why do you keep driving kails away!" quinn demanded but jack rolled his eyes, standing up. "no!" quinn said pushing him back on the couch, "tell me right now why our baby sister had to fucking flee because of you!" quinn exasperated, while luke stayed silent. luke knew exactly why.

jack shook his head, "do you not realize how bad it is at school? do you not realize the amount of bullying she gets, for you to only add to it here? what is supposed to be her safe place, is not!" quinn fumed and jack sighed. "if you don't say, i know luke will tell me exactly what i need to know. im giving you a chance to come clean." quinn said standing his ground. jack was silent, "what is it?!" quinn screamed one last time.

jack sighed once more, "its always about her, kailey this kailey that, when is it my turn?" he questioned and by the look on quinns face, you thought he was about to kill his brother. "seriously? you're jealous of your sister? you're jealous of somebody who doesn't play hockey, doesn't skate, plays her own sports and gets bullied? you're jealous of your sister who does whatever she can to blend in? are you stupid?" quinn said angrily. luke rolled his eyes, "he's just upset because mom and dad make sure that they are there for everything of hers. he's upset that she has more freedom, and gets the most support out of the two of us." luke butted in and jack glared at him. "you're an idiot, an absolute buffoon jack. last time i checked, you chose this. you chose to play hockey." quinn said shaking his head. "you are the reason why you guys moved here. she may be upset at that fact, but she's moved on from it. you give her so many reasons to not like you - but shes a better person because she still wants to do right by you. she wants to prove to you that she can be a good sister. do you not realize how much shit she puts up with from you, because she wants you to be her friend at the end of the day? and don't deny it, but i heard about the 'she's literally just a roommate' comment to the boys." quinn finished, before looking at luke. "i expect more from you luke, i expect you to stand up more to this idiot." he finished before walking upstairs to find his mom. he had a plane to catch to new york.

☆

june 2019- nhl draft.

kailey wanted to be anywhere but here. yet, her parents and quinn had convinced her to come to vancouver with the family. kailey would do everything in her power, to not stand out because she couldn't step out of line or else jack would throw a fit. it had been hard the past few months, but she kept assuring herself that she wouldn't have to put up with him for much longer. ellen pulled her daughter into a hug the morning of the draft, as kailey began to sob. kailey had been experiencing anxiety attacks for a while at that point and only her and luke knew about them. this morning she woke up in a panic, as soon as the alarm went off. she called her mom in a panic, from the next room door and she quickly rushed over. "i - i cant do it, i cant i wont i wont." she sobbed into her mom's chest. ellen rubbed her hand over her daughter's back, holding on as tightly as she could. but she knew that if she didn't give jack the attention is so craved, she'd also never hear the end of that. "i cant mom, i cant!" she exasperated, pulling away and sitting down on the bed. ellen sat down across from her on the extra bed, waiting for her daughter to say something. "im sorry, i cant do it. i cant support somebody that tears me down every chance he gets. i literally breathe and he finds an issue with it. im over it, im not making my self physically sick anymore." she said beginning to cry again. ellen and jim could never say or do enough to get him to stop, and none of the boys would say why exactly he had done what he'd done. they'd had it with him, taking away things and grounding him but none of it did a damn thing.

ellen had a sneaky suspicion of what it was, but would not hear the truth for awhile longer.

the family had just finished getting ready and were in jack's suite, filming as well. kailey on the other hand was in her bathroom, sitting on the tile floor puking her guts out. she had made herself so physically ill the whole day, and this was the only way for her body to dismiss it. quinn knocked on the door with luke before walking in, and realized that the room was empty. luke knocked on the door, and he quickly whipped it open when he heard gagging. "oh my god!" he said kneeling down in front of her, pulling her hair back as she puked. she sat back against the bath tub and the boys took in how hollow her eyes were. her skin pale, and exhaustion plagued her features. "whats going on?" luke asked pulling her against his chest. she shrugged, as quinn texted their mom. her eyes began to refill with tears, as luke pulled her in as close as possible. "i cant go. i wont allow myself to." she whispered for only luke to hear. "he doesn't deserve my support, anymore. i cant support somebody who doesn't love me or even like me." she said louder and quinn picked it up. he left the bathroom and room, and headed over to the suit that his parents and jack were in. as soon as he walked in jack smirked, "wheres the drama queen?" he mused, making sure his tie looked good. "she's sick." was all quinn said leaning against the wall next to ellen. ellen looked over at him, and she could tell what she was exactly sick with. "sick? i doubt that. she just needs the attention on her." jack said cockily, and quinn could kill him right there he thought. or, one chance to take a swing at him. "lukes with her?" ellen questioned, and quinn nodded. ellen walked out of the suite and walked over towards kaileys.

luke wiped kaileys tears, and smoothed down her wavy hair with his other hand. she had finally reached the end of her effort, she didn't have it in her to support the brother who always thought of her as less than. her personal bully had won, and was getting rewarded for it that day.

☆

spring 2023- may

quinn looked over at jack, who was busy typing away on his phone. quinn had just gotten back from brunch with kailey in detroit, and he was relieved to see how kailey was doing after her sophomore year of college. she had just gotten back from study abroad and had absolutely adored her time there. she had also spoken about how she was thinking about doing a semester at sea but wasn't exactly thrilled about the cost. but quinn wouldn't hear it, he was gonna make his baby sister as happy as he could, and make up for the lost years.

"listen, youre gonna help me do something for kails." quinn announced, without giving jack a choice. jack looked up from his phone, and gave him a 'wtf' look. "yeah right." jack said, returning to his phone. "no! you're gonna do this with me asshole. you are gonna make up for the lost years. you are gonna do right by kails, and you're gonna do this with me. she deserves to be happy, you didn't see how happy she was today. i haven't seen that big of a smile since we lived in canada man. i haven't see her so content. and you are not gonna fuck this up." quinn explained, and jack set his phone down while sitting up.

"why would i help her? last time i checked she doesn't speak to me or support me." he said like it was obvious. quinn rolled his eyes, "if you weren't so thick in the skull you'd realize just how much she supports you and how much she wants you to be happy. y'know she keeps up with all your stats, and watched games with luke this season. she asks me and luke all the time how you're doing, and whats going on with your life. maybe if you'd give her the time of day, she'd open up to you and she'd show you how much she loves you. these past three years away from you has given her perspective and grace, and you don't deserve any grace. but that's who she is, always looking for the benefit of the doubt and ever the optimistic person." quinn paused, "you're gonna be a nice brother and play the part, and you're gonna do this with me." quinn said not taking no for an answer. "she has no idea that were doing this, so don't give me the "shes gonna expect more of this." but you know deep down that she isn't that person. mom and dad didn't raise her to be that way, so wipe that thought." quinn said with intuition, knowing what was going on in jack's mind.

jack sighed, "what is it for?" and quinn smiled. "semester at sea. she wants to go to europe and asia, for the spring semester. we still have time to pay for it. she got accepted but was gonna decline when she saw the final amount after scholarships and financial aid, etc." quinn said pulling up the email he got from ellen. after he left brunch, he headed over to his parent's house to talk to them. they were more than elated that quinn wanted to do this for her because let's be honest. she deserves the absolute world.

_

a week later.

"quinn?" kailey called out after stepping into her parents house. she had received a text from quinn if she could meet her there, that afternoon. what she did not expect, was to see jack there with quinn. they two were in the living room, hanging out with everybody. "hey sweetie, come here!" ellen said patting the spot next to her. kailey eyed jack, as she walked over to the couch. he hadn't seen her in three years almost, and she had changed. changed for the better of course. "yes?" she questioned as the family looked at quinn and jack with smiles. "we wanted to do something for you, kails." quinn began. "think of it as a token of our brotherly love." jack said and quinn elbowed him, "you're in on this?" she questioned jack. jack swallowed hard and nodded, "umm." she said not sure how to respond. "here." quinn said standing up and handing her the envelope. it was a confirmation slip for the semester at sea and a flight to europe for docking. she took the envelope, and opened it up slowly. she saw the ticket before the confirmation slip, "oh my god? oh my god!" she said standing up and freaking out. her eyes filled with tears of gratitude, and hugged quinn. "thankyou thankyou thankyou." she said into quinns chest, and the family only laughed in response. "oh my god, i could cry." she said pulling back and looking up at her brother. "don't cry kails, it isn't necessary." he said and she shook her head. "ill repay you guys i promise! it might take awhile after graduation, but ill get there!" she said looking between jack and quinn, but they shook their head. "no! you arent repaying us a dime. we want to do it for you, we have the ability to so you don't need to worry." jack finally spoke up. worry was her middle name when it came to jackson.

"dont worry blondie, you deserve the opportunity to go, so you're going." quinn added and kailey frowned. "alright." she said softly before luke stood up and wrapped his arms around his sister. "you're gonna have to text me every day, send me all the pictures in the world. im gonna have huge fomo." luke mused and quinn second that. "come here." quinn said wrapping his arms around the other side of the girl, and she felt the weight of them. "god ii swear to god if you make me fall over." she said as the two boys laughed. quinn waved jack over, and jack fought with himself. he didn't know what to do. "get over here princess." kailey announced, and jack sighed standing up.

ellen snapped a quick picture of the four's group hug. ellen and jim looked at one another thinking the same thing, they hoped that this was the beginning of a new chapter between kailey and jack. and hoped that jack wouldn't screw it up.

hope you enjoyed!!!

also quinn and luke to the rescue 🥺

[unproduciblesmackdown]

spent the evening reading through all of the like galley pdf copy of the 2 trans 2 furious zine and a great time start to finish like it was Not an effort to keep at it despite its being like 160 pgs. and despite my not having ever seen a f&f movie or really especially directly "correctly" being interested, though i'd ofc love to see any of the films like live & in person w/a bunch of trans strangers, say

laughed and teared up multiple times and thought about how impressive and creative entries were and like, the momentum was easy, everything was engaging and intriguing and invigorating and enriching....and Printed Editions (that ship to US & canada) are still available for pre-order, for about another week (also the window given for us going over the digital copy for edits/corrections lol) soooo. again i like haven't seen any f&f movies, and that didn't impede anything at all, and it was a fantastic time:

and another reason i'm like Oh My God So Appropriate To Have Sent In An Entry is how, like, it's all transformative fun and serious yet not somber Media Analysis on media you don't have to have actually even seen, or "like" straightforwardly, or at all, or be the "correct" audience for, or have an "intended" interpretation, lol, lmao....like this is Extremely our shit out here lol, what one is up to all the time in the world of Billions Series Analysis like, personally haven't even seen it, i'm not cishet enough to be the intended audience or otherwise sharing various particular assumed perspectives that are occasionally required to even parse, much less enjoy, some material....and yet!!

and like, if there was an all-autistic contributor's fun fan media analysis / commentary / parody / exploration / transformation / etc zine about billions? it'd be like wow how exactly me, and yet ofc i'd be at way more of a loss at what to scream abt winnie, perhaps ft. & tay, and the overall [billions]ing, much less how to actually execute that lol. it was easier to do a Very 101 Intro To: Cam Stone Exists Btw, nonbinarily, in that i limited myself to One Page so i could actually feasibly get it done, but in doing so i, as expected, could only say a fraction of what i could say about cam, were i explaining things in full / just unleashed, and skim the surface but just go "they exist btw and here's a tiny bit of further 101 info." it's not like, An Issue, b/c i don't think the [everything] that i could say would work great in full, and i can't write a great little short form piece of text about them (or winston, or anything else)....but it was also like, well if a trans f&f zine Doesn't have the trans f&f character in it then what are we doing, and We Know Of Cam Stone, so the most feasible [handing out a flyer] version of telling ppl they exist has gotta be done

and it's like, it's (relatively?) matter of fact to this end of only having so much room to put in words, and definitely ending up having to squeeze lines in vs struggling to fill the space. it could've been weirder, or funnier, or hornier, but it successfully exists and maybe it's a little weird, funny, and horny (drew an Especially [ooh sexy cam stone]-tinged pic lol) and whatever is difficult for me to perceive abt my own personality infusion in whatever, like how i have to be reminded like oh right, my Art Style, the way that Eye draw lol....and of course, i can't and don't expect my one page informative crash course intro to cam stone to be able to be Everything, any more than years' worth of lots of [winston billions] material in various formats of various extensiveness from various angles has been Everything. and the zine as a whole can't be Everything but it is, in fact, So Much abt So Many Things from so many different approaches. i enjoyed everything, especially like, "An Ode to X" as in fast x, which evolves into "x" as an (implicitly nonbinary) in-universe character and i was Moved and teared up, and i see it immediately follows "Jason Statham Will Call My Dad A Pussy In Fast 12" which moved me and made me tear up, which follows an entry that's a haiku about each film, none of which i've seen, which i didn't get misty about of course but was fully engaged with and enjoys, which follows my entry

there's naturally plenty about roads and horizons and racing and speed and i'm also like, i'm a gay who can drive, and i can feel it re: the trans contributor whose entry mine follows which is about their irl experiences driving in a demolition derby, inspired by f&f. and i can feel it re: enjoying f&f beyond how you're "supposed" to, or how you would in a cishet(tm) way, and how so many of these entries had resonance, and that intrigue and engagement, and lenses on where to find explorations of gendering which will kind of Have to come up whenever anything succeeds in approaching things that are genuine and really truly more To Life, even while the point of f&f is not to be "realistic," especially about, you know, the driving and what you can do with cars, which i fully appreciate and definitely understood more for cam stone being in a story ramming through a wall outracing an avalanche hacking cop cars and defusing bombs and ramping over bucket wheel mining excavators and being swept out of the way of a train that was going full speed but silent until like 0.05 sec ago when it also burst through a wall or something? and whomever all is involved with racing like a rocket launch fr. and having fun, being yourself, and killing people, hell yeah

and like, the [this is like my autistic ass out here laser pointing at winston billions as autistic and having that lens on this media that doesn't intend it or directly invoke it] relevance also Of Course in that, through kompenso, that is where it is like yes as i have that personal symposium of ongoing compounding unfolding branching distilling consideration, analysis, appreciation, transformation, etc going on, so too does my colleague as the world's preeminent tayficionado, which is where they looked into akd's oeuvre and found the cam stone material, and passed it on to me, then passed on the [zine call for trans f&f contributions], So

and that, just like as is also found crucially in kompenso / the then preexisting & all eventually following winnie n tay material, there's that Autistic and Trans resonance. some particular quotes from this zine were especially like, oh, pointing, pointing...."Thirty minutes into my visit, I suddenly just didn’t want to be there anymore. I didn’t feel angry, not really very sad at all either. I just longed to be elsewhere. A different place, with different people, within a different moment. And then every cell in my body pleaded to not feel that way in all of my moments, in every group of people, in all places." ....[from a poem, ft. formatting thusly:] "It made me feel important, kind of? Like, more present? Like people talked about me a lot but never exactly about ME, if you know what I mean. I mean, of course sometimes I could feel something inside of me. A sneaking or, like, a skittering. I just kind of figured everyone feels that sometimes, like really deep down, right? It’s just that no one really talks about it, you know. That’s what I figured." ....[from a section of a contribution w/the context of the author not yet knowing that they're trans]: "but he was familiar and didn’t make me think too critically about much in the world, especially myself, especially as he never seemed too interested to ask me about me—not that I would’ve had much insight to share at the time beyond “please do not think too deeply about how I am.”"; and then, w/the context that they do realize, and have expressed, that they're trans: "but I was still learning about the concept of mattering, so I didn’t push the issue of basic respect at the time." ....from another submission, that is Sooo: "maybe i am transing Fast and Furious just by loving it" ...."Discovering, loving, and sharing this franchise (and myself) with others has been such a wildly different experience—maybe even the opposite experience—than self-policing myself into who I thought I should be. It’s nourishing, welcoming—an open invitation to learn and grow rather than an ongoing test to constantly worry about failing."

an ongoing test to constantly worry about failing....here ofc a parallel to Gendering, and, ofc, the autistic & trans [handshake] and resonance, to Autisting....i resonated with plenty, genderingly, but this wasn't a surprise or even like, my focus, and of course not all the entries themselves Textually mention [gendering], but it's like, a trans space in a zine lol, a baseline of that understanding and perspective, vs having to be actively looking. nonzero textual neurodivergence mentions, too, and other lenses of ways to be Othered / non normative, like race, nationality, religion. the overarching, Constant [omg sooo me] resonance is that of like, having this foundation of refusing Limits, of approaching a Rich Text a hundred different ways, w/different tones, and different formats, and different experiences and ideas explored. you don't need the source material to acknowledge any noncishet people textually exist (to be understood by noncishet audiences), or to be deemed Good, or Enjoyed, or your entry to be proffered as like, correct and definitive rather than One exploration you could offer up, amongst many offered by many others who could say more, again, differently....i've been like, balancing excitement for having this contribution, and its being like ooh fancy lol this is the one time i can say i have (non self-)published work, and it'll be Out There, and (including all contributors' gifted copies) apparently that ft. abt a thousand printed copies atm, and the digital distribution option hasn't happened yet....along with, like, it can't even be my comprehensive, definitive [cam stone exists btw] theoretical Ideal Entry lol b/c that would not be feasible for me to make or to be put into a zine. knowing i have Points on my side for it being crucially relevant lore (and the competition being hotter for the small form text entries, though there's other illustrations, comics, collages, edits, etc) like, yeah the strength of this isn't in its being as weird or funny or horny as anything could be, lol....but my Personality is embedded in it as per like, see: how that Journey of relevant interests and enthusiasms and engagements and perspectives and weirder, hornier, more extensive and varied works led up to and contribute to this piece's existence (such as, years of drawing winston 9000 times being part of how my drawing looked in march, when i made the cam stone piece)

and like, in not seeing everything as a test to fail, in seeing [when are you seeing things as that test to fail], &/or similarly/overlappingly seeing [when are you seeing things as a test to Prove Value to others or something and achieve person status in their eyes b/c of it] like, lol, i hope a thousand plus ppl learn cam stone exists, and it'd be fun if they enjoy that process. put in little floaty hearts as flair, just as i often do, b/c by now i just Know and Embrace that i do. and i'm not like "i hope everyone ever is blown away" b/c why would they be lol, and that's fine. like how even in [i just say some shit abt winston billions, and ofc abt myself and my experiences / perspectives through winston billions while knowing that's not what's "meant" out here probably maybe though put me through to will roland, yknow...] i'm like oh don't be thinking abt proving your value w/this specific oeuvre lol like. anyone Caring as validation like, it's too late by now, i like people liking shit and getting anything out of it but it's like, i'm doing my thing, i'm having a specific ass symposium abt quantent and billionsing "wrong" that eye enjoy, i enjoy getting any feedback/attention on shit i put out there in case ppl wanna partake, i don't enjoy any/all of it in any/all ways just so long as it's Anything, yknow. like same with interactions/attention on Me as an autistic person who actually exists, lol. speaking being exhausting when it's ppl saying shit At me, would-be "positive" attention that's from someone like deciding what i'm like or what i'm communicating and wanting something from me, that shared discussion Abt something can only be a gateway into like "normal" exchanges to "normally" socialize, finding that pattern of not being worth effort unless it's effort that gets something out of hurting you / thwarting you; all versus: i have plenty of expertise knowing myself vs needing feedback, i like doing my thing, i like doing my thing Alongside others, probably strangers, within a certain context, like being cooped up at college and socially recharging by going ""alone"" to the coffeeshop down the block, while going "with" people would generally be a mixed bag if not disheartening to even distressing. which, here i am, doing my little thing alongside strangers in this context of transgendering and fun and serious but not not funny and varying and daring and earnest materials exploring something that's about anything or everything or nothing, and not made for You, but here you are anyways, as you always have been

anyways, that is to say, like, perfect that it's turned out so like "yeah you don't need to have seen the movies even" and such enriching Reflections and like, so different and yet cohesive without needing to like, painstakingly group or order things to create some Connections, they're all there, and i'm like damn yeah cam's quarter-mile V neck, so fucking true. and i'm like, this is so Me, without having to be like, "and that is b/c i have put Me on the page, in full, with utmost success, and Everyone Will Love It (Me)" lol, which was not like, a danger, but that's through all the years of going [everything is a test i'm failing / can fail at any moment] and yknow, even up to recently and this very moment wrangling with and realizing things like, hand on shoulder are you looking to "earn" some estimation of Value in others' eyes that they can only choose to give by seeing everyone as a fellow person w/inherent value who deserves basic respect. like the mortality mondays that ramped up since late january, but also since '09, but also since like forever in different forms, and back when first discovering billions and, for like the only time while we've been watching, Knowing when everything in a season will air, but also not thinking i'd get to see it, and now in a similar boat, but different (having done "nothing" on paper over the years but like, been Realizing Things, been powering up, been assigning the Value to myself and Understanding myself & my experiences further. and also other things that you Could put on paper, but yknow), and like, it's still about [grr let me see billions through, even though i don't even see billions] and still about [!!!] despite it all and things that are "unserious" and also not and who needs like a certain kind of validation from enough of certain kinds of people

anyways, the autistique resonance within it, and in the process of reading it, and having our specific path to sending something in, and making it. it's an excellent ride and it's very epic that it exists so consider that print copy preorder if you want (plus the intended eventual digital distribution option, not yet available)

[harrywritingsbyme]

Going Virtual

Based Off Of This Ask

A/N: I love this concept sm!! like Harry is in full pest mode with this one lmao...but it’s cute. Enjoy🙃

School was back in session. Not only was Harry’s 7 year old beginning the first day of 3rd grade, you were also in school and going into your sophomore year of college. Harry had gotten so comfortable spending all of his time with you both over the past 6 months, and even more since June that he was practically dying from boredom because of having all this newfound time to himself. And it wasn’t even alone time. It was him being all by himself while you two were confined to your respective spaces in the house to get you guys’ schoolwork done. You guys were literally so close, but yet so far away from him now. All he wanted to do was pull you both away from the computers to spend time together. The only moments he had with you or his son were the brief periods when either of you summoned him for assistance or for a refreshment of your snacks. With school in the picture even more, there was just about no time in the day for Harry. At least when you two physically went to school you both were kind of out of sight out of mind so to speak given the fact that he didn’t have much accessibility to either of you during the day.

Now even though you and Harry’s son were in school and doing schoolwork during the day, it didn’t stop Harry from being a bit of a pest at times. And he was mainly a pest to you. When he would bring you guys snacks while you were taking care of your assignments, during and after school, he’d try his hardest to shift some of you guys’ attention onto him. Now he wouldn’t try as hard to get at his son. The most he’d do was attempt to instigate a tickle fight or offer up some play time. But due to Harry’s successful efforts to have consistency and put your work first before play when raising his son, his tactics weren’t being accepted at all. Bubs would simply tell Harry, or daddy for that matter, to stop and that he could play with him later. And because he was so adorable and Harry couldn’t get enough of him, he’d give his cheeks a good pinch with a kiss to the forehead before offering to help with his work.

But with you on the other hand, Harry didn’t go that easy.

Instead of just leaving you alone after you pushed him away, he continued on. He’d try to pull your chair away from the table while you’re typing away on your computer. He’d also sit on the floor while you’re in your zoom classes and pull at your pants leg or hem of your shorts depending on what clothing item you threw onto your body before your class. And eventually he did in fact leave once you practically (and almost literally) kicked him out of the room. But he didn’t stop his little attacks to get your attention there. He’d even send you raunchy messages, explaining in detail all of the many ways and times he wanted to take you. And this wasn’t just during your classes; this was also when you were working on your assignments. He refused to let up. And believe it or not, Harry began working even harder to get your attention within in the last couple of weeks. It’d only been about a month and he’d already begun to intensify his “attacks”.

And today was nothing short of Harry trying to get you and bubs’ attention. If he wasn’t lying on the couch reading or trying to write or do anything that was in the slightest bit productive, Harry was checking in on you and bubs. He’d periodically make his way to you guys’ workspaces to check in and bring you snacks and any help if needed. Once he checked in on the third grader down the hall, he’d take a stroll down to your space to check in on and bug you. When you were in one of your zoom classes a bit earlier on in the day, Harry walked into the room, brought you what he normally got you at that time, then sat on the floor next to you so that he could be a pest. Today you were wearing shorts so his pest level had spiked, he was touching you and just not leaving you alone. He enjoyed making you gasp or react to his touches while your camera was on. Now even though you thought that his efforts were cute and you felt a bit bad for not spending a lot of time with him, it didn’t stop you from plucking Harry whenever you weren’t writing something down. You didn’t know why, but it was a bit nice to give him a pluck here and there while he tried to seduce you into stepping away from your computer.

To make things worse, he knew your schedule in and out! This meant that he’d come in during the tail end of one of your classes then continue being an even bigger pest when you were trying to get some work done in between.

“Can you please like leave me alone.” You ask calmly, keeping your eyes on the screen in front of you.

“Umm no. That is, only if you take a little break right now.” Harry barters from below, continuing to touch you.

“Why don’t you go bother your son? I bet he wants to see his daddy more than I do right now.” You say matter of factly, finally turning your head down to look at him.

“Well first of all, you calling me daddy right now was a big mistake and because of it I’m going to be an even bigger pest.” Harry begins. At least he admitted to being a pest. “Now second of all, I’ve already checked on him and he doesn’t need me. So now I’m in here.” He continues on with his explanation.

“Oh my god! We’re gonna need some defense strategies against you.” You huff. “What is it going to take for you to leave me alone?” You ask, deciding to finally give into his antics of it meant that you’d have a little moment to get some Harry free work done.

“Let me make you cum and I’ll leave you alone. I know you’re already drenched since I did see that you read my messages.” Harry says.

“Fine, but hurry up. I need to get back to my paper.” You concede, standing up from your seat to let him have your way with you.

“Well you don’t have to be so hostile, it’s not like you’re not going to enjoy it. If you don’t, I’ll be reevaluating my skills while you ignore me.” Harry replies as he lifts himself up from the ground, letting out a series of grunts in the process.

“Well it never hurts an old dog to get new tricks.” You push back. The age gap was a definite hot button for the two of you so if there was any window to push it, you were going to take that opportunity.

“Well I don’t think that I’ve heard you complain about my old tricks.” Harry begins, pushing back the chair to stand behind you. “In fact, I always hear you screaming for more.” Harry whispers into your ear as he swiftly tugs your shorts and panties down your legs in one motion.

“Maybe.” You reply defiantly, trying to stand your ground with him.

“That’s where you’re mistaken baby.” Harry hums, bringing a hand down between your legs. “And judging but the stickiness between your legs, you know that it’s not just maybe either.” Harry continues, pushing two of his fingers up and down your folds before finally pushing them into your entrance.

“Oh my god.” You sigh,  taking in the feeling of his fingers entering you. You hated it when he was right, but this time he was, his fingers felt so good.

“Not so mad at me bothering you now huh?” He chuckles behind you, continuing to pump his fingers in and out of you.

“No” You whimper. His fingers were doing wonders to your body. And that was all he was doing. Hw was simply fucking his fingers into your hole and you were falling apart as you clutched onto the edge of the desk for dear life.

“Good girl.” He praises, bringing his face to your neck to sponge kisses into your neck as he pleasures you. While he continues pumping his fingers into you, he moves his hand that was securely planted on your waist down to your front to begin circling two of his fingers around your clit.

Right now, you were going insane. Your paper was now long forgotten; at least for the time being. Harry’s hands were like magic between your legs and you could feel yourself beginning to drift closer to the edge. There was a special warmth that infiltrated your body when you were getting closer to letting go, and you were starting to feel it move through your body. You were also beginning to feel the knot in the pit of your stomach begin to tighten.

“Can feel y’clenching up around me, wanna cum sweets?” Harry hums into your ear, fanning his warm breath across your skin and creating goosebumps all across your body in the process.

“Please daddy.” You pant in response, feeling your lower half begin to go numb.

“Let go f’me baby.” He whispers, pushing his fingers as deep as possible and holding it there while continuing to stimulate your clit.

“Fuck!” You exclaim lowly, trying to hold back your moans as you cum around his fingers.

“That’s it sweet girl.” Harry praises happily, feeling your walls contract around his fingers. While you continue riding the wave of your release, Harry keeps his fingers inside of you and he continues placing kisses onto your neck as well. And once you finish riding out the amazing orgasm that ripped right through you, your mind goes right back to what you need to get done. And to be honest, for some reason that was unbeknownst to Harry, he absolutely loved that about you.

“Can I go write my paper now.” You huff shakily, trying to move your feet around to reagin more feeling in your legs and trying to get your mind straight again.

“Only if you promise to spend some more time with me and bubs later, we miss you.” Harry bargains, slowly removing his fingers from inside of you.

“Fine.” You breathe out cheerfully. In that moment, you didn’t exactly know what you were happy about. You weren’t sure if you were happy about getting a nice little break in the monotony of your work or of it was from the fact that Harry was finally going to leave you alone for a little while or that you were going to finally spend some time with the little family you were lucky enough to be apart of. Either way, you were definitely going to take a bit of a break later.

And let’s just say that this school year was going to be a bit of an interesting one for Harry.

Masterlist

[jamaiskookie]

bangtan headcanon: OT7 IN HIGH SCHOOL 📓✂️

☞ genre; fluff, crack

☞ warnings; excessively stupid

masterlist  u wanna talk to highschool!bangtan?

《KIM SEOKJIN》

class clown

always manages to sneak kimbap in class, and stuffs his face despite being in the front row. 

he’s alarmingly good at sneaking food into places. 

cafeteria ladies love jin so much. 

and every christmas he brings in his perfected sugar cookies and never shares them.

(he’s in the cooking club)

((he’s the only one in the cooking club))

will interrupt the teacher to make a bad joke. 

“yes so helium is the fo- oh yes seokjin?“

“i was reading an excellent book about helium, i couldn’t put it down!! ahHAHAHHYUKHYUKAHHAHAHHA“ 

nobody’s?? really sure?? if he’s dating namjoon or not?? it’s the schools biggest mystery, there’s currently a betting pool going on worth about $500

likes to annoy namjoon and yoongi about holding bake sales. 

is surprisingly good at planning parties?? but never hosts them?? hoseok always gets him to plan his parties and he even planned prom!!

he’s particularly proud with the theme he came up with. 

‘zombie meets elegance‘ 

it was actually pretty nicely pulled off (much to the shock of the entire student body) 

《MIN YOONGI》

student council president 

takes his job very!! seriously!! 

fights with the principal on funding daily. 

doesn’t come to school without coffee and resting bitch face.

even the teachers are afraid of this short little emo boy. 

is the only one who actually wears the school uniform properly with the little tie and jacket because that’s how you show school spirit. 

definitely that closeted gay in high school who thinks nobody knows about his homosexuality when in fact, everyone knows.

(nobody has the guts to bring it up to him though)

“hyung why are you staring at jimin’s as-“

 “-NO WHY GET BACK TO WORK” 

actually enjoys doing morning announcements. 

“make sure to check out jin’s dumb bake sale i think he’s selling brownies for some charitable reason anYWAYS time for min’s advice column!!“ 

min’s advice column is yoongi’s free therapy. namjoon suggested adding an advice column to the school paper so now yoongi just judges his classmates’s decisions gives subpar advice. 

“i personally think you have no chance with this girl, but you’re clearly hell bent on asking her out. it’s a dumb choice. good luck.“ 

《JUNG HOSEOK》

fuckboy

throws obnoxious parties at his parent’s huge ass mansion. 

somehow?? is?? the nicest? playboy??? evER??

will respect your girl’s boundaries but also would 300% hit on her when you’re not looking. 

aftercare king wILL cuddle with you and help you clean up or whatever until jimin eventually comes in screaming. 

his school id says “hobi 💦👅” ... noone knows how he managed to do it (taehyung thinks he seduced the secretary) 

surprisingly good at romance even though he deTests dating

“it’s a waste of time, money, and ass.“  “- what?”

gives everyone dating advice whether they want it or nOt- he lives his *shhh very secret* romantic fantasies through his best friends. 

once helped taehyung ask out his girlfriend... they’re still going strong!!

defo has daddy issues that he never talks about,, maybe if a girl finds it sexc™️ in that kind of messed-up-bad-boy-she-could-fix vibe he’ll bring it up

kinda failing science lmao he probably needs a tutor.. but will never admit he needs a tutor for sake of his pride. 

most definitely has had sex in the janitor’s closet a couple times, up until yoongi caught him once, reported him to the school board and got him suspended... for a month. 

(yoongi has no regrets, that was the best month of his life.)

《KIM NAMJOON》

student vice president

honestly would probably be the council president and is the most qualified for it but can’t be bothered.

plus he hates public speaking and the president has to speak at assemblies.  

genuinely enjoys learning!! bUT HATES GROUP PROJECTS

because every single fucking time taehyung and jimin pester him about teaming up and he ends up doing like 75% of the work.

not because anyone forces him to or anything.

it’s because jimin and tae are such dumbasses every time they finish their work namjoon has a sudden uRGE TO REDO ALL OF IT BC THEY GOT IT WRONG.

tries to take all AP subjects.

gives up and drops half of them by the second semester.

great student but also will “no yoongi i don’t want to fucking play basketball i've been awake for thirty hours trying to finish this goddamn essay that’s due tomorrow. wHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY DIDN’T I DO IT EARLIER I WAS BUSY TAKING CARE OF MY BONSAI TREES.“

started the school paper!! it’s called “persona post”

writes about actual relevant things like political events and global problems, but everyone else just writes about school gossip *sigh*

although that one column examining hobi’s sex and dating life was a pretty fun piece of writing to read through. 

he sits in the back of the classroom and never raises his hand even though he knows the answer like 95% of the time.

definitely has a crush on seokjin

《PARK JIMIN》

the one everyone has a crush on

and when i say everyone i mean everyone, even hoseok has had a crisis over park jimin. 

(jungkook is definitely president of his fan club) ((in case it wasn’t clear, he’s dating jungkook))

school’s golden boy, basically gets away with everything with a bat of an eye... and the most infuriating thing is he doesn’t even realise it. 

“omg jimin!! you’re so cute!! this shirt looks sO good on you, can i touCH?” “omg thank you i didn’t think it fit well because it’s my boyfriends but that’s so sweet!!” “boy... hm?”

mom friend: sweetest bitch alive and is always worrying about his friends but everyone knows he’s secretly really fucking kinky.

(again, jungkook has no comment)

the kind of person who celebrates christmas in june. 

literally- he starts putting decorations in his locker and around the school mid june. by november, he’s wearing reindeer ears to school.

*lowkey kind of a nerd* genuinely enjoys studying with namjoon.

“well, studying with anybody else is just too stressful!! plus, namjoon’s so chill. he doesn’t look like it but he actually is super sweet and nice!!!“

“... please take those reindeer ears off, it’s embarrassing.“ 

half of the school would probably cut off an arm to sleep with him. seriously, he gets offers like everYDAY it’s kinda getting tiRING

is considering starting a youtube channel where he just takes videos of all the dogs and babies he meets throughout the day. 

“idk i think vlogging would be fun“

《KIM TAEHYUNG》

art hoe

nEVER FUCKING STUDIES OR PAYS ATTENTION BUT GETS DECENT GRADES.

the definition of bisexual mess, WILL trip when he sees hot people.

exclusively wears wired gold glasses and soft neutral sweaters to school. if it’s a good day he’ll wear a beanie. on special occasions he’ll maybe throw in some fUN loafers.

dyes his hair to match ~the vibes~ of that season. the most recent wild hair colour is cool toned teal. 

jungkook said he looks like leprechaun shit, but tae really likes it. 

tried to go vegan countless times, failed each and every one when he passed by a mc donalds. 

carries his sketchbook wherever he goes. he has that thing around 24/7, 100% would not be surprised if he slept with it under his pillow.

really quiet until he has a point to make;; like that time where he launched into a three hour screaming lecture on how phineas and ferb is an animated masterpiece.

drinks tea purely for the aesthetic of it. 

goes to hipster coffee shops to pretend to study... ends up watching barbie movies and critiquing them on the writing blog that he thinks nobody knows about. 

watches anime in class (he recently rewatched all of ATLA for the third time,, failed his econ class but worth it!!1!!1)

《JEON JUNGKOOK》

preppy jock

once again, everyone is attracted to him, but he’s so whipped for jimin everyone’s crush fades away once they talk to him because-

“oh it’s so cool that you have a dog!! you know, i think jimin kind of looks like a pomeranian sometimes it’s sO CUTE- hm? oh jimin’s my boyfriend.“

... it’s disgustingly adorable. 

plays almost every sport and is somehow always the team captain. not out of obligation or with leadership skills or anything, everyone else just votes for him. 

mess with his friends and he’ll put a stink bomb in your locker. 

his nickname is “golden baby” because he’s good at everything, teachers love him so much. 

grades? sTELLAR. sports? he’s done them ALL. creativity? pAINTED THE SCHOOL MURAL. service? volunteers at a pet shelter whenever he can (the bunnies love him for some reason) 

everyone either is 

a) in love w him, wants to fuck

b) jealous of him but is also secretly gay for him

pretends to not know how talented and cool he is and plays it off super cool

proceeds to fail, the only thing he’s bad at is humble bragging. 

“wow omg lol i got a 100 on my bio test and yesterday i got a hole in one in golf, my first time playing it but it’s chill i guess hahhah day in my life amirite.“

**this headcanon is the start of the bangtan school series, stay tuned**

wanna be tagged in school series or my writing? here or send me an ask

[wickymicky]

my top ten favorite kpop singles of 2021 so far: first quarter edition (january-march)

10. Pixy - Wings: I’m not as into this song as other people, but it’s grown on me, and I think they have a lot of potential. I did not expect a group called “Pixy” to have this dark of a concept haha, I like that. I like the choreo and overall performance of it too, I think that’s the highlight for me

9. G Idle - Hwaa: Not my favorite G Idle title track, but I do think it’s in the top half. It’s interesting to me that they did this song, since it is pretty much all in Korean, there’s no English whatsoever (the only English is a “yeah” at the beginning haha), which for a group like G Idle who has used a lot of English in the past and is very popular internationally is kind of a bold choice, and I’m into it

8. Ateez - Fireworks (I’m The One): I’m still not fully sold on Ateez’s direction post-Wonderland/Answer, with the “end” of their pirate concept (possibly, it seems complicated lol, idk, but you know what I mean anyway), but I do kinda like this song! It sounds kinda like... European lmao. Like I keep thinking I hear accordion in the drop, but idk maybe I’m just imagining things. I mean all that in a good way, btw. Like a good kind of European (if you can imagine such a thing)

7. Shinee - Don’t Call Me: As someone who only got into kpop in 2019, and didn’t even get into a single boy group for like 6 or 7 months (and even then, for a while I just had one single token boy group lol), Shinee isn’t a group that I had checked out much from until fairly recently. I’m still new here, I suppose lol. But yeah idk, this song is good! I love the production and their obvious charisma and talent. Like, I can tell even just from this song that their reputation is earned. It’s just a solid release

6. Purple Kiss - Ponzona: I do prefer Skip Skip, but I decided to limit this to singles and title tracks. I also prefer My Heart Skip a Beat (by a lot, actually), but that came out last year lol. This song has really been growing on me a lot though! Like, a lot actually. I like the violin, I think that’s a really interesting touch haha, I feel like that adds so much to the way the song sounds overall. Yuki’s rapping is impressive too, I like her flow in every song I’ve heard her in so far, especially since she writes her raps herself and Korean isn’t her native language. Honestly that’s one of the most impressive things about Purple Kiss... they seem to be involved in writing all of the things they do! That’s SO RARE for a group to do right from debut, especially for a girl group! I think that’s a great sign that things are changing, and girl groups are being taken more seriously and being allowed more creative freedom than ever before. Ponzona was literally a song written for a monthly evaluation when they were trainees. That’s really impressive. Skip Skip was too, but yeah lol. 

5. Pentagon - Do or Not: I mentioned that for a while I just had one token boy group that I liked, and that was Pentagon haha, they were my first. I like that this is a return to their fun sound, but in a different way... like, this song doesn’t sound anything like Shine or Naughty Boy lol. Pentagon are just really good at conveying passion in their songs and I think that shines through here too! I like the way the bass and percussion sound, that’s just quality mixing lol. I also love that even though it’s this kinda pop-punk-ish-doo-wop-ish kpop song, it still has a bit of sadness underneath the fun, which is something I think is a trademark of Pentagon’s style haha. But mostly, it’s fun

4. Tri.Be - Doom Doom Ta: The main reason I checked this out was because it was written and produced by LE from EXID, and you can really tell haha. In fact, her voice is in the song at certain points, and like... she has a really distinctive voice lol. Anyway this song is like a pretty hard commitment to this Latin/moombahton kind of sound, and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that trend in kpop, but either way, I do think this song is a bop. I’ve had it on repeat way more than everything below this point, in fact all the songs in this top 4 I’ve had on repeat like an order of magnitude more than the songs from 5-10 lol. it’s been a slow beginning to the year. I don’t have a lot of specifics to mention here about Doom Doom Ta, I just think it’s an earworm 

3. Weeekly - After School: This was really highly anticipated for me, because I love their previous title tracks. Tag Me especially is a song I consider to be almost perfect, which is not something I say about very many songs at all haha. I personally don’t think After School is quite as good as Tag Me or Zig Zag, but I do really like it! It’s always good to get more fun, exciting, unashamedly catchy songs haha, it’s a breath of fresh air. I love this concept for them too, I think it fits them really well! They’re just a lot of fun. This mini-album, We Play, is my favorite of theirs so far too, though that doesn’t necessarily affect my placement of this song in particular

2. Cherry Bullet - Love So Sweet: God damn, this song is really good. It’s really simple, but that works to it’s advantage imo. I love that the background melody of the instrumental during the verse is the same as the vocal melody in the chorus (or at least very close), that’s just super satisfying. Ending the song with an extended “da da dadada da da” segment was a big risk too lol, that could have been annoying, but idk I think that really is one of the highlights of the song. This song feels like the kind of song where the songwriter came up with that melody and went “YES! this is IT! YESSSSS” and they knew they had come up with something really, really catchy, and they built the rest of the song around showcasing it. And it works!

1. Dreamcatcher - Odd Eye: This probably isn’t much of a surprise lol. But similar to After School... This isn’t my favorite Dreamcatcher comeback, and tbh I think it’s my least favorite of the Dystopia trilogy. But like... that’s still enough to make it my favorite song of the first quarter of 2021. It’s great, I love the way they do the cyberpunk concept and sound without going into the synthwave direction like Everglow La Di Da did. I love La Di Da a ridiculous amount, but I just mean that it’s nice to see variety even within a similar overall concept. Also! Handong is back! And she crushed it! In previous title tracks she and Gahyeon often got the least amount of lines by far, and the least amount of screentime and such, and Gahyeon definitely got times to shine during Scream and Boca and made it clear that she’s leveled up a lot, and I was really hoping that Odd Eye would be able to do the same for Handong (without sacrificing Gahyeon’s screentime and lines)... and yeah, it really was, lol. Handong was all over this song, and her voice reaaaaaally complements this sound. This group has no weak links, and obviously all of us already knew that, but now even the people who only casually listen to them know that without a doubt too.

idk... i’m not totally sure about this list but that feels mostly right to me i guess. I feel like Odd Eye is definitely my favorite so far, but to be honest I don’t feel like it’s the Song of the Year. like, if it had been released in 2020, I don’t think it would have made my top 10. If nothing better than Odd Eye comes out for the rest of the year then sure, it will be my SOTY haha, but idk, I just think that there hasn’t been anything *truly* great so far yet. And that’s okay... I’m very picky about this kind of thing. I don’t give high scores to things that don’t deserve it lol... and like in my opinion there were only 4 songs in 2020 that are the kind of near-perfect instant-soty song I’m talking about, and three of those four came out in the second half of the year. So the fact that I don’t think anything so far has been at that top level isn’t a bad thing, and isn’t really something I’m worried about. I think we definitely have not gotten the best songs of the year yet (unless everything else ends up sucking lol, but idk i hope thats not what happens...)

oh also there was an WJSN comeback today, and that would probably have been on this list, but I havent heard it yet because i was waiting until I finished writing this haha. like, since it came out on March 31st, tbh I’m just gonna count it as an April comeback, so i’m sure it’ll be in my list for the second quarter that i’ll post at the end of June lol. i mean, unless i dont like it. but i’ll probably like it haha.

[theday]

tagged by @ikyh and @younghyuuns ill be doing both sets !! :D thank you both for tagging me!! this got long so yall dont hav 2 read <3

ru?? rushee’s set!! me: wow ru does not sound like rushee at all ? djsjdhhjd im dumb but i realize now

i. do u believe in astrology? whats ur sign and do u line up with the features usually attributed to it?

fucc... i guess i do ;-0...... and yeah i think?????? like they say capricorns are cold bitches and funny nd im like ya thats me... but they also say we’re hard workers and im like uh.. dont know abt that karen !

ii. what’s ur favorite pair of socks?

bbbbbbb..... socks huh...... i guess my ankle ones? there are also socks that have actual designs on them and those r usually thicker.. keep my feets safe! most of them have pkmn designs bc.. yeah... love the poke mans

iii. what’s a food that reminds you of a specific moment/memory?

i could think of anythiing and get reminded of one situation if that makes sense.. but i thought of pineapple..pizza... anyway the memory isnt anythngn special its just me staring at my delicious hawaiian pizza..... at my favourite pizza place.... love that shit

iv. what’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

i dont have the actual hours but the latest ive stayed up.. like willingly would be until 2am

v. how has ur taste in music changed throughout ur life?

went from 1d to 5so/s + other bands to utaite.... they cover vocaloid songs ig i never kno how2 explain what utaites r then 2 kpop.. but i still listen 2 bands + kpop and utaites.... so nothing much has changed ive just gone broader.. wider... expanded my tastes... 

vi. who’s ur fashion icon?

oh definitely kim wonpil

vii. what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done without realizing?

i breathe dumbass particles.. i cant think of one bc my brain probably blocked off all access to my horrifying past but ive been thinking abt how i used 2 send the boy i used 2 like 1d songs....................... 12 y/o old me rly thought. he’d listen.... 12 y/o me thought spamming him was a good idea glad ive learnt from that! 

viii. what’s something you want to brag about?

my grades but it didnt get me into psychology so nvm ! its still good though i didnt expect to get an A1 (hghest grade) for combined humanities since ive had a B my whole life without it i wouldnt be able to move on education wise lmao so thank god for that thanks cambridge thanks bell curve sunbaenim 

ix. when you imagine urself being happy in the future, where exactly are you (like the location!)?

oh definitely an apartment somewhere where its always windy and the curtains are always Moving and the sun just Shines in the room but its not that hot either its just full of warmth and yeah thats the dream maybe also walks in the park without having 2 worry abt sweating my pits out u kno! tldr anywhere but here

x. what’s something you’ve always wanted to own?

let me Think.... i dont need a lot/?? but id love hm.............. i want stability but realistically i want all the hh pcs from the code albums. 

xi. how’ve you been lately?

good good! i finished my *** fic and its. im proud of it though i know its not that good nd i can do better but its done ! and hm i could be going to see mx but asking my mum is stressing me out speaking of her she wont stop Coughing and she refuses to see the doctor ;-/ love those sleepless nights ! other than that i just want 2 get out and feel the sun ???/ wanna get out of this house yea but i need to be.. shady with my money i cant get a job because school is starting in a month and im going overseas again sometime next month so ! no ones gonna hire someone who can only work for 2 weeks at most dhzjhhs shouldve worked when i had the time dumbasses only

ok now falen

1. what’s been on your mind??

hm redacted feeling towards my mum but i cant say them bc itd be insensitive 

2. what are you looking forward to? 

mx? possibly but also finishing my enrolment papers

3. story time!: how and when did you get into day6!!!!!

fuck...... listen up LADS. 

ive told the same story like 10 times but im never gonna get tired of saying this shit bc i love miss boxy so much nd she deserves the appreciation anywy she introduced me 2 day6 after i saw this one (1) picture of brian in minion glasses and instantly i knew in that Fucking moment thatd id die for him. so i asked for the name of my murderer and was introduced to day6 whom frankly id never heard of b4 bdjhjh she sent me all their mvs and i still remember the night . i remember walking out of this japanese restaurant, twitter open, chat wiht boxy there and i was like.. interesting ill go listen when im home so i Did! and my mind was blown away bitch? i honest 2 god expected them to be a boy group,,, dancing and shit yknow? i didnt know k bands existed ! so as a previous 5/sos stan i was like wow. this??? this shit is 10/10 a fucking BANGER thats what i felt listening 2 i smile and just going :O over the fucking instruments so idk if how can i say was the last or second song but Damn. .. it made me scream thanks mister j** he rly dragged me by the collar of my shirt and threw me face first into Heaven so i watched everything i asked my friend for video recommendations and after boxy sent me a page with their face and names i was like this jae kid is 182 cm? wow gotta stan now im stupid and stupid for glasses and tall people so ! it happened bithc,, ugh i lov eday6 so much i remember binge watchng all their vlives after the july after party live (that being the first vlive i watched Ever in my entire life and i laghed so hard despite not understanding a damn thing) please id giv my heart and soul2 day6 im so happy with the way ive progressed as a myday :^( 

bonus when i first started stanning it was 26th june and shortly after i made a stan acc teasers were being dropped but i didnt kno why ppl were freaking out i remmeber seeing jae’s teaser nd going ? ok? its just a pic damn ;-/ and then eveeryone was like: dowoon! choker! me: wdhs? what

4. ????do you have any allergies????

did u think of jae and no i used to be allergic 2 dairy products but thats disappeared

5. a fond memory???

bowling with friends and im just a disaster of a friend im always so loud with them and i thank god everyday that they handle my energy ? i would cheer for them even if they got a gutter or whatever and when they got a strike id go clap like crazy i love my friends i also went i have the power of god and anime on my side before flinging the ball and theyd laugh despite not knowing what vine that was from i love my friends... psg if ur out there yall are the best x i miss hanigng out with them as a trio.. three of us :( 

6. do you paint your nails?? if so, what are your fave colors to use?? if not, why??  

thats so.. tiresome.......... dont u have 2 wait for it 2 dry and shit ? my mums always worried abt ruining the colour or some sht nd im like !!! okY!!!!!!! tldr its a pain in the ass

7. what are your favorite colors?? what are your fave colors to wear??

i like hte colour of the sky... all the colours........ yeah love that bithc and lately ive been wearing a lot of black shirts finally went out of my embarrassing colourful phase ! 

8. what languages would you like to learn?? for what reason(s)??

japanese nd korean jp because i listen to a lot of things in japanese and korean for the same reason but my priority would be jp even tho id love to communicate with my faves i just... yeah although im not exactly making an effort 2 learn bc im lazy but if i Could.... itd be those two

9. when you get stickers, do you use them or do you keep them??

DHDGFHDHDGDSJHJSJAKSSJHFHS THIS FEELS LIKE A CALL OUT???? i keep them......... 

10. are there any groups that you might get into/want to get into?

hm... well theres knk ive learnt their names and im finally able to put name 2 face so thats nice svt too if htey didnt have such large numbers... thats all for now i think?? i love evry girl group though i love gIRLS... 

11. how are you???

idk im constantly just fine?? not the im sad but im fine kind of fine im literally just neutral half the time wjhddshs wild 

both of your questions were really unique and i loved answering them thank you so much for tagging me and if youve read until the end thank you i hope you have a good day!

[blacknovelist]

For You (BNHA Ageswap AU Fic)

Yesterday night, @guardianlioness​ reminded me that today was Father’s day, and we both started screaming about it and started trying to extreme speedwrite some DadDeku fluff because that’s not an opportunity we can miss dammit! I’m very pleased with the fact that this is done and it isn’t about ass-o-clock in the morning. I also feel like that’s something I’ve said before, lmao.

Anyway, enjoy! *Jazz Hands*

(Ageswap AU tag)

[ffnet] [AO3]

Actions speak louder than words, but only when you know what you’re doing. Oh well; Toshinori would figure something out. Eventually.

A week into June, Toshinori found himself standing in front of a bright shop display on his way back from school with a bit of a dilemma on his hands.

The last year had been a whirl, all warm smiles and adrenaline and days coming home to a house that wasn’t full of empty rooms or cold air. Now, right on the cusp of his second year’s start, he stared down the assortment of trinkets, discount drinks and snacks in front of him like they could give him the solutions to all his problems right then and there.

Which they didn’t.

He slumped, shuffling away before someone came along to heckle him for staring. There wasn’t much Toshinori kept from the birth parents who had left him behind one day and never looked back; he got a few mannerisms from them, along with his old house, plus someone was keeping the bills payed whenever Toshinori couldn’t cover it himself. Though so far, the vague memory of two smiles and a cheery gift on a very specific day was seated firmly on the line between unnecessary and useful.

Especially since all it mostly did was remind him that he only had one week until Father’s day came and went, and he still had no clue what to get for Deku.

Sure, Father’s day wasn’t actually a huge deal - he heard enough from everyone else to know it was more about saying ‘thank you’ and buying drinks for one’s parent, usually. Little considerate things like that, a watered-down Mother’s day by all means. Except he was pretty sure Deku wasn’t really the drinking type of person in the first place, and it didn’t feel…. right, to be so ordinary about it. At least in America they usually seemed to go a bit bigger, which was exactly what Toshinori was swinging for, but that didn’t entirely change his problem: He wanted to thank Deku and show his appreciation for taking him in by giving him a Father’s day present, and he had absolutely no clue what the man could possibly want or need that he could get.

Maybe a novelty mug? A new set of weights? Some kitschy shirt with an amusing saying picked up from a slightly-less-overpriced-than-usual souvenir shop? Deku was awful cheesy sometimes and a huge fanboy for other heroes, and as he wandered down towards home Toshinori wondered how well he could swing buying Deku a whole ton of cheesy Pro Hero shirts that he didn’t already have in his own collection.

“So… Father’s day, huh?”

“Yeah.” Toshinori ran a hand through his hair. “W-well, it’s just, Deku’s done so much for me. I figured It would be nice to repay him for everything. It’s not usually a big deal, I know, but I want to do something nice.”

“Honestly, you don’t have to stress about it so much.” Inko pat Toshinori’s arm, beaming. “Dad would be thrilled to get something from you for any reason, Toshinori, I just know it.”

“You think?”

“Of course!” She tapped her chin. “Usually I get him a new novelty tie. It’s fun watching him grab it instead of a formal one by mistake and seeing him show up on live television wearing rubber ducks and cartoon fish around his neck. Does wonders for his PR, too.”

“That does kind of explain a few things.” Toshinori laughed. “But, uh, do you have any ideas on what else I could maybe get him? Or do for him?”

“Well yes, but what ideas do you already have so far?”

“Okay, so…”

Izuku’s first clue that something was up came when he pushed open the door, stepped into the living room, and was greeted by one smiling face rather than two.

“I’m home,” he called. Inko looked up from the couch, beaming.

“Hi dad, welcome back!” She chirped. He was probably making a face, because Inko nodded before he could open his mouth again. “Don’t worry. Toshinori’s working on something in his room right now, said it was important. He’ll be out by dinner. I can make sure.”

“Thank you, Inko, and I don’t doubt it,” Izuku said. “You could probably get devil’s to dance for you if you asked politely.” He stepped into the kitchen. “Do you know if we’ve still got the curry from the other night?”

“Top shelf, I think it’s the blue lid.”

“Thanks!”

“You’re putting a lot of thought into this, aren’t'cha, Toshinori?”

“Well yeah, I want to make sure this goes well. And it’s not like I know anything about buying gifts for parents.” Toshinori scowled.

Nana laughed.

“Yes, yes, I got that. And I hope you know that I fully agree with Inko and everything she told you already.”

“You don’t even know if I asked her anything or what she said if I did!”

“You’re so obvious sometimes, Toshinori. Of course you asked her, and of course she told you everything straight. Even I can tell Deku-sensei is gonna be over the moon about whatever you do. You know, one time a classmate of mine gave him chocolate for his birthday since they had some and he nearly burst into tears?”

“Wait, really? He just- no, stop, wait, stay on topic! We only have so much time to get this finished!”

“We have half a week, I think that’ll be plenty. But go on, run it by me again. What do Torino and I need to do?”

“I just need some stuff…”

His second clue was the calendar under the clock, events and passed days marked in various bright markers hanging from a string. Or at least, it would have if Izuku looked at it at all on his quest for a snack.

As it was, the messy Father’s day crammed into the box marking the 18th went entirely unnoticed as he heated a plate and shuffled off to enjoy it, and the date was utterly forgotten until he was partway through his meal.

Off in the depths of his room, Toshinori pulled, ripped the plain paper for the dozenth time, and sighed.

“Man, I should’ve bought the gift bags.”

Tossing the crumpled sheet into the slowly growing pile of paper that used to be his trash can, he cut a new piece and tried again.

“Thank god I didn’t ask for help, no one would ever let me live this down.”

“It should fit in here.”

Naomasa tossed the neon blue and red box, and Toshinori stumbled as he caught it and nearly lost his grip.

“Yeah, this is perfect,” he sad, turning it over in his hands. “Thanks, Nao!”

“No problem. Is everything else in place?”

“Nana and Torino brought the stuff in this morning.”

“Great!” Naomasa smacked his friend’s shoulder. “Good luck then. Give us a call if you need anything else, alright?”

“Gotcha.”

The third and final clue should have been the fact that Inko didn’t give him his usual Father’s day gift the way she usually did; after dinner and accompanied by a hug and laughter.

Toshinori had left his room like Inko said he would, fidgety as all hell and with a grin that refused to stay off his face for all of dinner. Inko had taken one look at his face and smiled so bright, Izuku felt comfortable assuming it was some sort of kid/preteen/teenager thing that he didn’t have to think too hard about.

They scurried off as soon as everything had been cleaned up, whispering and jostling each other, and Izuku couldn’t help but laugh.

“Maybe I should ask them what’s so funny later.”

“Here, this is yours.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Dad’s usually in his office right now.” Inko smiled. “Are you ready?”

Toshinori grinned back. “As I’ll ever be. Let’s go.”

There was a knock, and Izuku barely paused as he called for them to come in.

“Hey, dad.” Inko pushed through the door, a misshapen bundle of paper in her hands.

“Hi Deku,” Toshinori said. He had something bright tucked behind his back that Izuku couldn’t quite get a good look at from where he sat.

He pushed his work aside and stood. “What’s going on?”

Inko grinned and bounced over, presenting her package.

“Happy Father’s day, dad!” She said. “I’m pretty sure you know what this is already, but I thought the gift wrap would be a nice change of pace.” The paper in question was emblazoned with various bunny cartoons of all shades in the rainbow.

Izuku snorted as he took the present, gently tearing a hole through it and pulling out a roll of green and black fabric.

“Thank you, Inko! The aliens are new.”

“I’m glad you like it! This one was Aunt Mina’s idea.” Inko turned, gesturing to Toshinori, and he shuffled forward hesitantly. “Toshi’s got something for you too.”

Izuku beamed, and set the tie down on his desk. Toshinori grinned back, and held the box in front of him.

“Well, uh, I know Father’s day usually isn’t a big deal in most places, but-” He fiddled with the corner- “I remember once when my parents were still around we celebrated Father’s day, and I thought, maybe I could get you something to say thank you, for everything you’ve done for me. And I know I don’t have to say thanks, or get you anything for today, but I really, really wanted to!” Toshinori straightened, and held his gift a little firmer. “I, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you, saving me then and taking me in and letting me call your house mine too. So.” He pushed the present into Izuku’s arms, gave him the biggest smile he could muster, and all but shouted; “Happy Father’s day, Deku!”

Toshinori stepped back to stand beside Inko, both looking pleased as punch. Izuku stood stock still, processing his words, and for a few minutes there was silence. Inko was still smiling, but Toshinori was just starting to falter when they heard it.

A sniff.

It’s like a dam broke after that, with the tears streaming down past the blinding smile on Izuku’s face.

“O-oh, sorry,” Izuku said, fruitlessly rubbing his eyes. “But, I just…” He took a deep breath. “I’m honored, Toshinori, my boy. Thank you.”

“Shouldn’t you wait until you’ve opened it before you thank me?” Toshinori asked, his surprise fading into a cheeky grin.

“This box better not pop it’s lid out at me after that,” Izuku joked, but he didn’t waste any more time as he pulled at the rumpled ribbon on top. The wrapping paper practially fell apart from there, and he tugged the lid off and set it down on the table.

All manner of things were jammed into every nook and cranny of the present box, colorful shirts and cheesy socks shoved underneath pens and what looked like half a dozen notebooks. He flipped a mug so it faced him, and was met with the words “Number 1 Hero!!” and an arrow pointing up. The travel mug had “Best Dad EVER” written on it. In the corner there was another tie; this one covered in cartoon renditions of his own hero persona’s face.

“I got some help from Nao, and from Nana and Torino while I was looking,” Toshinori admitted. “I don’t really remember the kind of things I would get for my parents on these kinds of days, so I just kind of… bought a little bit of everything? A lot of the books and shirts were pretty cheap down by the school. And I asked Inko about it, too.” He fidgeted. “Uh, what do you think?”

Izuku pretended to think about it. “I think… I love them, Toshinori.” He balanced the gift box on one arm and ruffled his hair. “Really, thank you, my boy. And you too, Inko.”

“You’re welcome, dad!” She hugged him.

“You’re welcome, Deku!” Toshinori glowed.

“Happy Father’s day!”

Izuku yawned as he opened the front door, reaching down to pick up the news and mail. A large envelope caught his attention as he tossed them onto the kitchen table, addressed to him in a familiar bubbly scrawl. He gulped down more coffee.

Carefully peeling the sticker seal off, he tugged the dollar-store card from it’s paper confine and flipped it over. “Don’t you just want to jump for joy?” was on the front, complete with several rabbits. Inside, Ochako’s neat handwriting had written out “Dear Izuku,” before the card’s cheesy Hoppy Father’s day! message, followed by the signatures of several of his friends.

He smiled, then noticed one last message penned amdst the various well-wishes and things.

“P.S: We heard about everything. Congratulations on your new son! :)”

Izuku choked.

[fluffi]

i think it was because god's menu was released around the same bp and svt made their comebacks. same thoughts tho on gm > bd and i was also glad that bd got the wins gm didn't. and same with the streaming mvs while studying : ] ahh, the easily distracted people we are. (reading cut and litol font bc poor ppl who see this on the dash TT)

i've heard chinese ballads (usually osts of films and from a chinese friend) and their songs really tend to tug on my heartstrings. i hope sm gives shotaro more stuff to do soon :[ with some of the units being active and sungchan being an mc on a weekly show, it makes me wonder what he's doing. do you think nct will form a new subunit?

no, i'm not lactose intolerant so it really took me by surprise. it was a one-time thing. hopefully it doesn't happen again. i can't really say i'm a big fan of ice cream but it's good occasionally yk as a treat to yourself. and ahhh, i miss drinking smoothies. my favorite stall has been closed for nearly two years now, idk if they ever re-opened since our city mall burned down :[

i think it's an nct thing? it's why i never get tired of them bc they're always active in a way. you should've seen how things went down last year! march 127 album, april dream mini-album, may 127 repackage, june wayv album and the whole nct 2020 thing. it was a wild year. about the track, i listened to it once and forgot about it. might give it a few more listens but it might not grow on me at all. yes! wasn't a big fan of hot sauce at first too bc i thought the intro was weird (not jaemin's part, like the first thing that plays). and yes, that hook loops in my head 24/7. i even made it my instagram bio.

stray kids world domination indeed! and i agree that their performances were really impressive (specially the deadpool one, best one yet) but sometimes i would fancy ateez' more. i didn't watch kingdom too bc it stressed me out as a multi. always caught between being happy for one group and being sad for the others. and atz and tbz! you're still getting into nct and you're thinking of adding 19 more boys! judging from what i know your taste in music is, i think you'll like tbz's music better since there are a lot more soft songs there than in atz. but do give both discographies a listen in the future!

oh izone! i've only heard of them at music shows and dance choreo compilations bc of them being in sync. they're really satisfying to watch! i thought their title tracks were catchy as well! quite unfortunate that i never got into them really. but again, i dont think i can handle stanning temporary groups.

i'm starting to see a pattern in your biases :D i wouldn't be too surprised if you'll be drawn to jeno at some point in your dream venture. dream is soooo easy to love so if you really end up ulting them, i would understand why. and also, YES PLEASE WRITE FOR DREAM AND TAG ME IF YOU WILL. THANK YOU ><

thank you! :c don't get your hopes up tho, the masterlist must've been interesting to browse but are the fics truly worth it? XD i think not. since you already know koe, i'm reccing users @/rouiyan, @/nsheetee and @/loonacitys. i don't have that much fluff in my ficrecs blog. i think, i've heard of lvdsc before (maybe even read a fic or two) but i can't find their blog now. be careful in privating your works, you might end up losing them forever if you don't keep track of their links...(?) that's what happened to the works that i privated :/ take me with you if you move blogs ;n;

seungmin frequently left updates abt what he was doing, left good nights and good mornings, the occasional i miss you. he called fans 'baby' once. not sure if it was a mistranslation, or really just a one-time endearment. other than that, nothing beyond the usual. seung vlives always make me cry ;n; he always look so adorable and precious. also the gif, the fic was more on fake head-butting really but yes you could say it was also a fake nose boop bc it sounds cuter. i'll make sure to tag you on future seung content on the dash. (time to officially claim him as your ult, yes. dont make him secret anymore :3)

sorry it took me a while. tumblr went batshit. the ' werkl;' stopped working midway and i got busy with school yesterday. also haechan birth today and i'm so emo abt it. it's literally just a boy turning 21.

little font and cut saga lets go!!

(just kidding, i cant do little font typing for long periods of time, makes my eyes go beserk haha.)

true true, im afraid for txt on music shows now because theyre going against some big names (literally bts like whatj jsdf what was hybe thinking). yeah, streaming mvs while studying aka watching mvs on loop lmao. i still want to stream skzs final kingdom performance on instinct but i remember that theyve already won!! hehe

ah chinese ballads always make me emo, i like to scream out lyrics to the songs at the top of my lungs and sit there on the verge of tears. its a cultural thing maybe *sobs*. ooh, what show is sungchan mc-ing in? ill check it out. i thought sm would make nct japan for sungtaro (i heard sungchan speaks japanese) so it was a shocker when they made...nct hollywood lmao. given the current circumstances we're probably not going to get a new subunit anytime soon :( hopefully taro will have stuff to showcase during that period of time.

burned down?? oh my, what happened to your mall? that sounds terrifying. i remember when the front of my school caught on fire and we were all ushered out but we thought it was a drill and didnt find out till years later lmao.

oh true, since theyre such a big pack too. constant comebacks and promotions haha, nctzens never catch a break with 23 members. i listened to the new track again (ive forgotten the name already) but i cant- i cant do it. its just not my style hhh. i rewatched the mv for the godly visuals though. i dont know if youre talking about that 'bibididibibidiododo' part by that female morphed voice at the beginning of the song, because i wasnt a fan of that too. it grew on me though.

same, actually! im not an atiny and dont stan any other group in the show besides skz but i watched each groups performance and ranked them haha. at times ateez would rank over skz, it was wild. also yeah, my other multi friend was freaking out about kingdom and ended up abandoning the show because she was so scared of the fanwars and having to deal with her 'conflicting feelings'. about the stanning thing, in my defense, i have a list of groups i want to stan and ive recently added tbz and atz. the list is long, i have a long way to go! also yeah, i dont prefer ateez's songs and i have a bunch of tbz title tracks in my playlist but if i approach their discography like i did with nct then i think i would like at least five songs.

izone are my queens. theres a reason why theyre the only girl group who made it to my ult list haha! super talented and filled with variety and visuals, a perfectly concocted group (literally, sobs in pd48 scandal). ah, temporary groups. yeah i cried about their disbandment for like 3 days straight, it was bad.

a pATTERN?? INTERESTING. DO ELABORATE. jeno, oh my gosh hes like bang chan. an intimidating-looking bear whos actually filled with love and softness on the inside. im currently having a jaemin run though, his make a wish fancam is doing some wacky things. also yeah, dream is really easy to love. i fell for them so hard, theyre all talented and cute and adorable and the team ambiance is so nice. really rising up my stan list now. i mightt write for dream! ill have to see, hehe.

personally i think the fics are going to be worth it. i can feel it in my boOOnes. ooh, recommendations! fun :D ill check them (and yours) out after i finish this 30k jisung fic. ive been trying to finish it since yesterday but i keep getting sidetracked. also, i made a mistake. its luvdsc with a 'u', maybe thats why you couldnt find it? ahh. thank you for the privating tip though! will keep in mind. and of course ill take you with me if/when i move blogs. we're friends now! <3

SEUNGMIN CALLED STAYS 'BABY'???!!@)(@#*()! I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE ASKDFJDF. im exciting for the fake nose boop drabble!! i love soft couple moments hehe. also yeah maybe its time to make him my ult...hes going to have to compete against jake my beloved ope.

dont worry about being 'late' or anything! we all have our own stuff to do. also yeah tumblr is weird asf sometimes. if you havent realized i typically answer longer asks around the same time everyday, when i get to sit in front of my computer and pull out my clickity-clackity keyboard. super relaxing.

AND YES HYUCKIE DAY!!! HES SO ADORABLE HONESTLY. im in love with all seven members of dream, my fic rec blog is currently filled with fics for them haha.