#julia day was a horrible person

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗦𝗔𝗨𝗗𝗔𝗗𝗘

　　　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N and Matt have a long-distance relationship. After months of not seeing each other, Y/N decides to surprise Matt in LA.

WARNING: None.

REQUESTED?: Yes, from @lizziesx

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N sighed in relief as she left her last class of the day, closing her eyes momentarily and thanking that classes always ended early on Friday, before walking again, heading towards the Starbucks on the college campus.

A smile spread across her face when she saw her group of friends already waiting for her at their table, Julia already holding her usual, Caramel Machiatto.

"Oi meninas! (Hi girls!)" Y/N spoke with a smile in her voice, pulling out the reserved chair for herself, hanging her bag on the back of it, and sitting on the seat.

"Oi gatinha, como foi Direito Constitucional? (Hi kitty, how was Constitutional Law?)" Gabriela, who sat on her left, asked as Julia passed the drink to Y/N, who thanked her with a wink before taking a sip.

"Foi um porre, o professor adora pegar no meu pé, mas pelo menos eu tirei nota máxima no trabalho. (It was horrible. The teacher loves picking on me, but at least I got a perfect grade on my work.)" Y/N rolled her eyes, snorting at the mention of her teacher.

"Eu sei exatamente o que vai levantar o seu astral. (I know exactly what will lift your spirits.)" Anna, the third and last girl in the group, spoke as she raised her right hand, receiving everyones attention. "Achei um barzinho incrível na Vila Madalena, álcool é a solução pros nossos problemas. (I found an amazing bar in Vila Madalena, alcohol is the solution to our problems.)" She finished, a smile on her face, she was their typical Happy Hour organizer.

Julia and Gabriela smiled equally big, nodding their heads. By Brazilian tradition, Happy Hour always took place on Friday, so they were already looking forward to the idea through all day.

"Bora, amiga? (You coming, bestie?)" Anna turned to Y/N, waiting for confirmation after not seeing her react like she usually did.

"Não vou conseguir, meninas. Vou pra LA hoje. (I can't make it, girls. I'm going to LA today.)" She replied, unable to contain a smile when she mentioned the city.

"Hmm, vai visitar o boy? (Hmm, are you going to visit your boy?)" Julia said with a smile, stirring her drink with the straw.

"Sim, fazem meses que não nos vemos e não aguento mais só falar com ele por Facetime. Comprei passagem para ir hoje, e volto na segunda-feira, infelizmente. Se eu faltar mais uma aula, eu me fodo. (Yes, we haven't seen each other for months, and I can't stand just talking to him on Facetime. I bought a ticket to go today, and I'll be back on Monday, unfortunately. If I miss one more class, I'll get fucked.)" Y/N explained, taking a sip of her drink.

Y/N and Matt met on one of the girl's trips to Los Angeles years ago when she was still in her gap year, she and her parents had a house in the city and always went there on every vacation.

Their first meeting was an unusual one, but it caused the two to exchange numbers, keep contact, and, consequently, fall in love.

Because Y/N is Brazilian, lives with her mother in São Paulo and studies law at Mackenzie, she needed to travel back and forth from Brazil to be able to see her boyfriend in LA, since she wanted to finish her studies in her country.

The two agreed to continue their relationship in a long distance, and surprisingly, they handled that format very well. Their love for each other only intensified every day, and they felt like they fell in love all over again every time they saw each other in person, always reminding themselves that distance gave them a reason to love harder.

"Você vai de carro até o aeroporto? Ou sua mãe vai te levar? (Are you going to drive to the airport? Or is your mom going to take you there?)" Gabriela turned to her, seeing her shake her head.

"Nenhum, eu vou de Uber. O vôo é às 12pm e minha mãe tem plantão no hospital hoje, e eu não quero deixar meu carro no estacionamento do aeroporto. (None, I'm taking an Uber. The flight is at 12 pm, and my mom has a shift at the hospital today, and I don't want to leave my car in the airport parking lot.)"

"Eu te levo, amiga. (I'll take you, babes.)" Julia interrupted. "Depois eu me arrumo e vou direto pro tal bar que a Anna achou. (Then I'll get ready and go straight to that bar that Anna found.)"

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"Aproveita o seu boy e manda atualizações no grupo, eu quero saber tudo. (Enjoy your boyfriend and send updates to the group, I want to know everything.)" Julia spoke as she closed the trunk of her car, helping Y/N place her bags onto the airport cart.

"Eu prometo que vou atualizar vocês todos os dias. (I promise I'll update you every day.)" Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, smirking. "Obrigada pela carona, amiga. (Thanks for the ride, babes.)" She added, pulling Julia into a tight hug.

"Não precisa agradecer, só mandar o pix. (No need to thank me, just send the pix.)" Julia responded jokingly, laughing when Y/N slapped her arm.

"Idiota. (Jerk.)" Y/N rolled her eyes with a smile on her face, walking up the sidewalk and starting to push the cart with her bags.

"Também te amo! (love you too!)" Julia shouted as she got into her car.

Y/N quickly entered the airport, fishing her phone out of her jeans pocket and unlocking the screen, searching for her flight information. Her eyes read the boarding gate before putting her phone away again and pushing the cart to the check-in counter.

The process didn't take long, and soon, Y/N was able to sit in one of the chairs near her gate, taking out her phone again and unlocking it. Her thumb searched for the messaging app, opening it and seeing some chats with new texts.

The girl ignored all of them, as usual, and clicked on her mom's one, reading the latest texts.

"Honey, Matt sent me a text, he said that you haven't spoken to him all day and he is worried, thinking that you died."

"I said you had a test today at college and you couldn't use your phone during it."

"I think it's a good idea for you to send him a text before he's the one to come to Brazil."

Y/N pressed her lips together, trying to hold back her laughter. They were both so dramatic.

The girl sent her mom a brief text letting her know that she was already at the airport and assuring her that she would talk to Matt.

Her thumb clicked the back button, and her eyes quickly found Matt's chat, seeing 10 new messages and 3 missed calls. Y/N rolled her eyes, not holding back a smile. She understood why he was so worried, since the two of them talked via messages and calls practically all day long, every day, her not sending anything other than a "good morning, my love" was worrying.

But it wasn't her fault that, after class, she had to go home quickly and pack her bags, which she obviously left to pack at the last minute.

Y/N briefly looked at the time, knowing that Los Angeles' time zone was different from Brazil's, before clicking the call button, waiting for her boyfriend to answer.

"Baby?" Matt's voice sounded on the other end.

"Hi my love, I'm sorry for not talking to you today. I had a test this morning, and I couldn't use my phone during it." The girl spoke, persisting in the lie created by her mother, as her eyes traveled across the space in front of her, seeing people walking back and forth with suitcases in their hands.

"It's okay, I was just worried." The boy spoke in a low tone. The sound of objects moving in the background echoed through the line. "How was the test? I'm sure you did well."

"It was-" Y/N looked up at the flight board, seeing that hers was taking off in 20 minutes, meaning they would soon announce it, and the girl would have to board. "It was great, baby. Honey, I need to go now, Julia is here at home doing some college work. I'll call you later. I love you, bye." She spoke quickly, cursing under her breath after hanging up the call.

She knew Matt would be sad about the way she acted, but she hoped that she going to LA would be enough for him to forgive her.

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The sound of the plane pilot's voice coming through the speaker woke the girl from her sleep. Her eyes opened as her ears picked up the message that the landing would be made in a few minutes.

Y/N straightened up in her seat, her eyes going to the window on her side, seeing that the sky was almost completely dark. She took her jacket out of her purse, wanting to protect her bare arms from the cold of Los Angeles, since in Brazil was 40°C and here would be 9°C. She prepared her body for the thermal shock.

The shudder of the plane warned her that the landing was going to happen, her hands tightly gripping the arm rest as her eyes closed. She hated that feeling.

A few minutes later, passengers were allowed to leave. Y/N got up from her seat and grabbed her purse, following the line of people until she entered the airport. The girl unlocked her phone and saw that it was already 7 pm LA time. Her notification bar was full of messages from Matt, which made her heart sink. She could only imagine the anxiety her boyfriend was feeling.

Her eyes went over the last text he sent 10 minutes ago, warning her that he would film the car video with his brothers in 20 minutes. A smile spread across her face, her plan would work.

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"Matt, get rid of that ugly face right now." Nick spoke from the backseat, leaning on the side of Chris's seat as he looked at Matt's side profile.

"No can do. He's naturally ugly." Chris said, letting out a laugh followed by a yell when Nick slapped his forehead.

"Shut up, dumbass. we all look the same."

The oldest leaned away at lightning speed when he saw Chris quickly turn around with an angry expression, his right hand raised, ready to hit Nick back.

"Hey, stop!" Matt said, placing his left arm between the two of them.

"Then get rid of that angry face." Nick ordered again, leaning against the sides of the front seats, meeting Matt's eyes in the rearview mirror momentarily.

"He's like this because his little girlfriend has been ignoring him all day." Chris said as he looked at the camera, smiling when he saw Matt cross his arms and sigh deeply.

The two of them didn't know what was going on between Matt and Y/N, or if anything was going on at all, but Matt had been frowning since that morning, walking around the entire house while cleaning up all the messes he put his eyes on.

Nick had asked him what happened at one point in the day, but Matt just said that Y/N was acting weird before turning his back to his brother, going back to cleaning the video game equipment in the living room.

A knock on the window on the passenger side made the boys jump in fright; Nick let out a scream, pushing his own body onto the seat behind Chris's, while Chris bent down and covered his head with his hands, as if that would protect him from whatever that was. Matt turned abruptly towards the door on his side, moving his upper half away from it, almost lying on top of the car console.

It took a few seconds for Matt to register that whoever was knocking on his window was his girlfriend. His blue eyes widened, and his mouth opened in a perfect O, his heart racing a mile a minute as he felt his hands shake slightly.

"Are you really going to leave me standing out here?" Y/N's voice sounded muffled as she took some steps back and smiled, her right hand hidden behind her back.

"Y/N!" Nick shouted, jumping into his usual seat and pulling on his door handle repeatedly while begging Matt to unlock it.

"Y-Y/N?" Matt whispered, still in disbelief, ignoring his brother completely.

"If you don't open that door right now and give your girl a good kiss, I'm going to hit you." Chris spoke after straightening up in his seat, fixing the beanie on his head. "Go!" He spoke loudly, pushing Matt, who seemed to finally wake up from his trance.

The brunette's right hand flew to the button to unlock the doors, clicking there before pulling the handle, opening his door with a thud.

Matt had never gotten out of his car so fast, his feet running a few steps until he reached Y/N, pulling her into his arms in a tight hug, lifting her a few inches off the ground and spinning her in the air, a loud laugh escaping his mouth as he closed his eyes, praying in his mind that this wasn't just a dream, but that if it was, that he never had to wake up again.

"Baby, I... you..." Matt pulled away slightly, shaking his head as he tried to process that his girlfriend was actually there, right in front of him. His blue eyes ran over Y/N's face and body, recording her image in his mind, despite already having it drawn, painted, and stuck in his soul. "You are here." He whispered, his eyes burning with tears.

"I'm here, baby." Y/N spoke in the same tone. "Oh my love, don't cry." Her eyes filled with tears as well, and a laugh escaped her lips. God, she loved him so much.

"So that's why you were ignoring me." Matt sniffled. His right hand went up to his face, passing them over his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I had to stop answering you for a while so I could prepare this surprise." She spoke, feeling her heart racing and butterflies in her stomach from the look in Matt's eyes. He looked so amazed. "But I have a present for you, as an apology." Y/N said slowly before taking her hand away from her back, showing the prettiest bouquet of tulips.

"Oh my-" Matt's eyes were wide, and his mouth was open, his heart freezing for a few seconds before speeding up like never before. Tears escaped his eyes without him even feeling them, while his cheeks burned with adrenaline. "This is for me?" He asked, perplexed.

"Of course, meu amor (my love). I saw it on the way here, and I thought: "Why not buy beautiful flowers for the prettiest boy in the world?"" She said softly, her eyes scanning his reactions closely.

"Thank you so much. I've never received flowers before." He sniffed, taking the bouquet delicately, as if any sudden movement could destroy it.

"They are so beautiful together." Chris commented a little away from them, his eyes also filled with tears. What they said was real. When a triplet cries, the other two cries as well.

Nick, who was next to Chris, nodded, a giant smile decorating his face as his hands held the camera, the lens focused on the couple, capturing the cute moment.

"This is true love, Y/N came all the way from Brazil just to see this idiot, and she brought flowers!" Chris continued to Nick in a low tone, not wanting to disturb the couple.

"At least now he'll be able to film today's video properly. He was worse than Grumpy from Snow White." The oldest triplet muttered from behind the camera loud enough for Matt to hear, letting out a laugh at the dirty look he gave him.

"Yes, but he's my Grumpy." Y/N spoke up, receiving grunts of disgust from Chris and Nick and a laugh from Matt.

The brunette took his free hand to Y/N's cheeks, pulling her lightly for a kiss, the first of that night. A contented sigh escaped the girl's mouth, who instantly relaxed and brought her hands to Matt's covered waist, squeezing the hoodie over her fingers while feeling like fireworks exploded inside her.

"Ew guys, that's enough love for one night." Chris said, covering his and Nick's eyes playfully.

Y/N pulled away from Matt, unable to contain her laughter, finally turning to the other two brothers.

"I think you have a video to film, don't you?" She asked wryly, smirking as she saw Chris roll his eyes and raise his arms in surrender, as if he hadn't been crying just seconds ago.

Nick turned, walking back to the car to put the camera in its place, and Chris followed, getting into the back seat next to the one Nick sits.

"I'll demand my hug later, Y/N." Nick shouted from inside the driver seat, trying to balance himself on it as he fiddled with the camera's focus.

"What do you think about being our guest on today's video?" Matt hugged her from behind, securely holding the bouquet, while resting his head in the crook of Y/N's neck, breathing in the scent of his girlfriend's perfume that he missed so much.

The girl smiled, even though he couldn't see it, stroking his left hand that rested on her waist while nodding her head.

Their fans would go crazy.

[leechlets]

jumping off of @alcorian 's post about the batfamily sleep habits and schedule. by of course making the most eyesore spreadsheet possible. I present:

batfamily (and co.)'s horrible sleeping schedule

the dayshift hero isn't even there for most of the dayshift because he has school, so it's three singular heroes covering the ENTIRE DAY almost singlehandedly.

babs, alfred, and julia basically live on the comms and are seemingly just sleeping in shifts.

dick and bruce do not have a single free hour matching ever, which feels purposeful.

nobody here has a life, literally why is jason the most normal one here. half of these guys are just dropping dead to sleep for like an hour.

if one singular person goes down there is a time and place where gotham will be FUCKED if they get attacked.

[skipppppy]

CARMEN SANDIEGO CHARACTERS + MOVIES

Boo I felt like making headcanons again bc I spend more time wondering what these assholes do in their free time than I do on my job

CARMEN

Didn’t have access to movies growing up so Player, Zack, and Ivy have been catching her up on the most popular ones

HORRIBLE to watch with. Doesn’t really understand “suspension of disbelief” as a concept and will ask stupid questions the whole time. Player almost ended their friendship because she nitpicked Lord of the Rings for being “unrealistic”

Enjoys low stakes 2000s girl chick flicks like mean girls and legally blonde. She has enough stress in her life man she just wants to relax

HATES heist movies because of how innacurate they are. Team Red has taken to watching them JUST to hear her pick them apart

PLAYER

Sci-fi/fantasy junkie. Anything and everything that has aliens/magic and shitty practical effects from the 80’s/90’s he is all over

Has never said a single kind thing about the Star Wars franchise in his life. They are his favourite movies of all time

ADORES Edgar Wright and has slowly been converting Team Red to his movies. Zack loved Baby Driver. Ivy loved Shaun of the Dead. Shadowsan loved Hot Fuzz. He considers Scott Pilgrim the pinnacle of Canadian cinema

Cannot STAND the amount of remakes happening in Hollywood recently

ZACK

Canon enjoyer of blockbuster action movies. Everyone dreads the nights when he gets to choose a film bc his taste is so generic

Does not know what the Snyder cut is. Thank god

His only redeeming quality is a love of early dreamworks. Will not stop quoting Madnagascar

Has seen every Marvel movie and thinks all of them are good. Player has BEGGED him to watch better movies but he won’t. He’s the type to rag on Scorsese for being “boring”

Has seen Kevin Feige’s extended filmography. Does not know who that man is

IVY

Horror fanatic

Banned from choosing movies for film night after convincing them to watch her “favourite lesbian romcom” with her. That lesbian romcom was Saw

Ellen Ripley was not only her personal hero but also her gay awakening. The Xenomorph queen was her second gay awakening

Also loves period dramas. Enjoys the tiddies and knows she would look SO good in those fancy waistcoats the men wear

Watches old slashers with Carmen and laugh whenever someone dies in a stupid way

SHADOWSAN

Faculty considered movies “low brow” entertainment so he hasn’t seen a movie made before the year 2000

Loves a good mob flick. Got into Scorsese specifically because Zack hated him. Goodfellas is his favourite

Everyone assumes he enjoys samurai movies but he actually HATES them. Hideo would ramble about historical inaccuracies the whole way through and he’s still bored just thinking about it

Used to love Yakuza films back in the day but they were soured for him after actually living as one

Loved Knives Out, found Daniel Craig VERY attractive, and has since fallen down the James Bond rabbit hole

CHASE

The most pretentious film hack you’ve ever met in your life. He is taking you to a back alley screening of some arthouse eastern european gay porn on a first date and it will be the most profound thing you’ve ever seen in your life

Detective noir movies and cheesy black and white romances are his favourites. He likes falling asleep to them

He and Player both appreciate animation as a form of cinema, but while Player is referring to like. the Mario movie, Chase is talking about some 3 minute Russian stopmotion surrealist piece from 1951. He attends Annecy every year and has been banned from the Oscars due to threats of violence

He likes Poirot tho. Transmasc king

JULIA

If she has a few hours to herself she’d rather watch a documentary than go to a movie theatre, but she loves historical dramas

Enjoys biopics but thinks it’s stupid to make them for people who are alive

Likes watching movies for the sake of trash talking them, so she is the only person who can tolerate sitting through one with Carmen

LOVES Wes Anderson though. Chase got her into his stuff and the symmetry scratches an itch in her brain. But don’t tell him that

Also enjoys period dramas for the tiddies

CHIEF

Shitty cop movie enjoyer. The kind of person who insists that Die Hard is her favourite christmas movie

LOVES heist movies because of how inaccurate they are. Will mentally nitpick whatever secret service is going after them and be like “ACME wouldn’t do that lol”

She’s semi aware that she’s the antoagonist in Carmen’s own heist narrative so she’s started having fun with it

Closet lover of b-tier comedy movies. Like the ones with Adam Sandler and Kevin Hart on the cover

Does not enjoy watching movies socially. That is quality time for her and her cat. She does not have to shush Commander

[annymation]

"This Wish" Reimagined

Asha's "I Want" song in my Wish rewrite

Something that quite bothered me in Wish’s “I want song” is that I never really… Connected with Asha as a character while listening to it.

With Ariel we WANT to see her get to the surface.

With Quasimodo we WANT to see him out of Notre Dame.

With Mirabel we WANT to see her make her family proud.

With Asha I want… her to have more than this…?

And what is “this”? Like, the subject is vague, and that’s because the song writer Julia Michels was asked to just “Write a song about a young woman that wants to fight an corrupt system” which is a neat concept… But Julia didn’t know what that corrupt system even was doing, I’m not joking, she said so on interviews, AND SHE SAID DISNEY ASKED HER TO DO IT IN 3 WEEKS LIKE GIRL!?

Anyway, as a result, I can’t really relate to Asha’s struggles because the song feel like it could be sang by ANYONE facing a hard situation where they “May be young but are not wrong” or “Have hesitations about what to do”…

But who is ASHA in this, aside from the person who is singing the song? Yeah, she wants more, but more WHAT?! You can listen to “When will my life begin” without watching Tangled and you’ll totally understand what Rapunzel’s personality is and what she wants… But in This Wish?… I don’t know who the heck is Asha, and I watched the movie!

It doesn’t help that in the movie the BIG HORRIBLE REVEAL that Asha is facing is that the system that only grants one wish per month… isn’t granting EVERYONE’S wishes… when that should’ve been common sense, like, does no one in Rosas understand basic math???

In my rewrite though, Asha has been silently questioning the system around her but knowing full well she couldn’t change it so she just accepted it, until the day arrived for her to give away her wish to conform to the expectations. She said she didn’t want to, and questioned if the king even granted all the wishes like he said he did. Seeing that she had spirit, the king and queen gaslight, gatekeep and girlboss manipulated her to get a wish out of her, and after that, by peeking through a door, Asha discovered the truth about her kingdom’s wish system, a truth so terrifying for her that she ran as far away as she could. And with no one else to help her… She made a wish upon a star.

(There, I summarized my rewrite so far, if that sounds cool to you consider checking it out here)

I think that’s a more interesting premise, and it gives Asha more nuance, but how do you translate ALL THAT into one song? Well, here’s how I’d change “This Wish” to do that:

“This Wish”

Should have listened to my own instincts No time to cry now for what could have been If I could show them everything I've seen Open their eyes to all the lies then Would they believe in me or in them? But when I speak, they tell me, "Sit down" But how can I when I've already started runnin'? All I wanted to do was grant my wish on my own But now that wish's stolen and, I am all alone [Chorus] So I look up at the stars to guide me For I know they can send me a sign If knowing what it could be is what drives me Then let me be the first to stand in line So I make this wish Asking us for freedom, hope and bliss So I make this wish To have something more for us than this [Post-Chorus] Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah More than this, oh-ah-ah-ah For many years they’ve been tricking us all Yeah, they said “We’ll protect you” while being our downfall Now what’s a girl like me supposed to do? How do you fight a king and queen? oh and they’ve got magic too! And all I've got is reservations and hesitations On where I should even begin I'm past dipping my toes in But I'm not, no, I'm not past diving in If I could just be pointed in any given direction On where to go and what to do My legs are shaking, but my head's held high The way you always taught me to [Chorus] So I look up at the stars to guide me For I know they will send me a sign I'm sure there will be challenges that find me But I can take them on one at a time So I make this wish Asking us for freedom, hope and bliss So I make this wish To have something more for us than this [Post-Chorus] Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah (So I make this wish) Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah (To have something more) More than this, oh-ah-ah-ah [Outro] So I make this wish To have something more for us than this!

Thank You For Reading!

[mrs-snape5984]

“I have nothing left. And all I feel is this cruel wanting…”

“And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here, I'm just as scared as you.” (“Lost in paradise” by Evanescence)

I have to put a trigger warning (suicidal thoughts and swear words) on this post and I’m doing this before I’ve even written my text. I’m sorry. I only need to scream my pain out.

1, 5 years. 535 days. 12840 hours. 770400 minutes. 46 224 000 seconds. Approximately.

1,5 years ago, my life became my personal hell. I feel captured in my own useless body…captured in my goddamn dark room, captured in my fucking overstimulated mind. And who’s my sadistic prison guard? It’s this cruel bitch of a disease ME/CFS!

Wasn’t it enough yet?! Am I such a horrible human being, that I really deserved even more shit in my life?! There have been so many ordeals in my life…so many rough times, disabilities and diseases…so much anxiety and stress to deal with!!! What have I done wrong to deserve all of these dreadful things?! Seriously, what have I done?!?

I must be some kind of a magnet for disasters…I can’t explain it in any other way to myself. Maybe, I’ve just yelled “here!” for all these experiences…maybe I’ve volunteered accidentally?!? Watching your parents fighting night after night until you have to intervene again and again? Here! Being sexually abused at the age of 12 years? Here! Being raped at the age of 15 years? Here! Multiple surgeries and endless pain? Here! Domestic violence? Here! Multiple Miscarriages? Here! Months of pregnancy staying in bed at the hospital? Here! Fighting for the lives of your extremely premature born children without a partner on your side, even though they were the result of ICSI treatment? Here! Colitis Ulcerosa? Here! OCD? Here! Disability? Here! Several other severe illnesses? Here! Getting ME/CFS and being doomed to a life in darkness and silence? Here! Here, here, here!!!!!!!!! Fuck me sideways!

Is it me? Am I the problem?! What have I done wrong! Tell me, God, what shall I do to end this madness…to finish this suffering?! I’m already broken!

And yes, I know, I have three wonderful children….and I’m forbidding myself to leave them behind…to leave them alone. They need their mother. I know that all. But seeing the sadness in their little faces every day…noticing the disappointment in their voices every fucking day…it’s breaking me.

I’ve tried to have dinner together with my children tonight. Therefore, I wore my noise canceling headphones, my sunglasses and I told them to be as quiet as possible. And still….still….fuck! Their movements, their voices, when they spoke all at once…the light in our dining room…everything was too much for me!! I got disoriented…overwhelmed by this overstimulation. All I could do, was to close my eyes and to wait until dinner was over. I couldn’t eat or drink, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t interact with my children the way, they deserved to be treated by their mother! So…what kind of mother am I now? I’m just a shadow of the mother…of the person, I’ve been, before ME/CFS started to destroy me. I’m only a pathetic failure. My children deserve more than that!

I’m hopeless…and all I want is to let myself fall…just like Julia lets herself fall into the tempting abyss in this heart wrenching drawing, which I’ve commissioned from my dear friend @madfantasy. I’ve told Mani to make Severus come and save her. He’s there…holding her back…grabbing her in the very last moment, screaming “Stay with me, Jules!”. Severus is her last anchor. Severus is my anchor. I won’t let myself fall with him by my side.

Mani, my precious friend, I can’t tell you how grateful I am, that you were brave enough to give my cruel fantasy a face. I know, that my dark thoughts can be overwhelming, especially for someone, who’s also struggling with their own mental health. I’m apologizing for the way, I’m pouring out my grief and despair over your marvelous artwork. But you’re the only artist, who’s capable of getting a grasp on my emotions and transforming them into something so powerful, so delightful like your art. Thank you for everything, my dear. 🫂🫂 (Fly fly)

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[ynhotcakes]

୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🍴🚬⚰️ ⋅ ☆

(spoilers?!)

⋆｡° ✮ Okay, I just wish people would stop watching TCOAL like "incest game lol." Dude, incest is the least of the problems when we're talking about manipulation, physical and psychological abuse (especially in chapter one), neglect, emotional dependence and lack of responsibilities. Incest is not romanticized in the burial route because it is a fetish of the creator, but rather because it is intepnded to make whoever is watching it completely uncomfortable. And this is for everyone, even because even people who support the game's incestuous relationship will be uncomfortable or a little upset watching the Decay route.

Again, incest is the least of the problems, but people make an extreme fuss about it. Both people who like it, and people who hate the game for that reason, as if it were just about that. But unfortunately, works like this always receive criticism from the public even if they are very well written. "Presença de Anita" (Presence of Anita),It is a 2001 television miniseries based on the 1948 novel of the same name by Mário Donato going through the same problem :It has good writing on topics considered "taboo" and inappropriate, but it makes the mistake of thinking that the public will have a reflection on it,because the public is divided between criticizing or sexualizing the work. I could also mention the book "Lolita" but I think I'm exaggerating, or maybe not.

⋆｡° ✮ There's only one thing I love more than anything about this game, Andrew. I love Andrew, I love him so fucking much it wouldn't matter if he put his pale hands on my neck and choke me without thinking twice he's so adorable my god I just want to hug him. Did I mention he's adorable? But I'm realistic, he's just as bad as Ashley, sometimes being a little worse than her. He's like Michael Afton: two good protagonists, flawed's, bad in many ways, smokers, problematics and with VERY good development. Andrew is not saint, he stopped being innocent when he killed the guard to save Ashley. He was manipulated and mentally abused by Ashley and Neglected by his parents. He often allows himself to be manipulated, he also doesn't know how to say "no" to his sister (As a person who had emotional dependence for two years, I understand his side but fr...).

Unlike Ashley, who apparently has been like this since childhood, Andrew gradually broke down. He wasn't rotten, he grew older with time, day after day, and that's what makes him sooo likable. He went from manipulated victim to a criminal, Even though I'm a horrible person Is he still kinda Nice? His development is great in both routes, in the Decay route his mental breakdown is great! And at burial he finally admits his mistakes. (Also Me, him and Julia are a threesome <3 joke)

⋆｡° ✮ I often say that unprepared parents create traumatized children and this game is proof of that. Okay, I think I've said everything I had to say.There was also a YouTuber who made a video explaining more precisely what I wanted to talk about, in addition to a Brazilian video talking about Presence of Anita that I commented on earlier,If you are willing to see it, feel free . And sorry for the bad english :P

☆ﾟ° ⚰️ ୨ tcoal deserves better

☆ﾟ° 🇧🇷 ୨ Anita's presence

꒰ Thanks for reading =D ↷ ⋯

[aerodaltonimperial]

hello katy. i had just the most fucked up thought about your split jack au and ive never used tumblr before but im learning how to send an ask right now because i NEED to know what you think of this.

does julia… tell jungle boy that he’s going to forget? those five years that he goes back and changes for the better— surely julia knows that when the time comes, the jungle boy that got sent back to 2019 and changed jack’s world for the better will become nothing but a memory that everyone but jack himself will be aware of. and if julia tells him… lets him know that his time is limited… does jungle boy not do it all anyways?

does he make every decision in this new timeline knowing that he’s setting up a life for the jack who deserves it most and not himself? when the days tick down and he knows he’s running out of time… does he leave notes for jack? does he leave notes for darby? how do you explain to the person that matters most in your life that one day you’re going to wake up and be replaced with someone a thousand times more scared and broken, and you need to love him just as much as you love me now, because he’s me, and i love him too?

im sorry you fucked my whole world up and i hate you and ive been crying about it for days. im sending you an edible arrangements. fucking god damn it man

Yo, you just fucking CHANGED MY WORLD with this ask. Like, this.... this is the stuff I legitimately DID NOT LET MYSELF THINK ABOUT when I was writing that because this is so much. Jesus CHRIST. I am... I am sitting with this because I am going to be really honest with you, I don't know the answers. The only thing I can say that I leaned on during this was the traveler's immunity concept: that essentially, the person doing the changing is immune from shifting when everything else does. And it's that immunity that all of this hinges upon. 2024 Jack has the immunity, and he is the original remnant that will remain.

Would Julia tell Jack, the Jack that is going to become nothing once the timelines merge? I presume that, eventually, she would. But what he DOES with that information? Oh my god. I don't even know. This ask has fundamentally changed me as a person LOL. I imagine... in a perfect world, that Jack does leave notes for himself. Because in the end, that's who he is doing this for: a better future, even though he won't be there to experience it once the right time hits. He got a gift. And he is giving one back. A huge, monumental gift that he will never get to see through to the end. But that's what so much of that fic really ended up being about, in the end: forgiving and loving yourself. He would want himself to have SOMETHING to figure his way around, even if it's just important dates. Anniversaries. When events happened. When things DIDN'T happen.

Would he warn Darby? Honestly, I'm less clear on that one. Because at his core, Jack knows that would change them, in his present. And if he had limited time, I don’t know. Would he be able to tell Darby, knowing that it would fundamentally change everything? Would he be able to say, hey, I'm not going to be here anymore, at least not the way you knew me? Man. I don't know. How do you warn someone that you are going to disappear, but that part of you will remain? And that part isn't going to understand that love should be soft? Or that you don't have to fear letting someone in? Or that people, deep down, care about you? How do you prepare someone for that?

This is the most fucking horrible and amazing ask I have ever received. I'm going to frame it on my wall. I'm going to be thinking about this for days. Holy shit, man. As for the notes that Jack could leave for himself, for when he's gone? Let him cook for you, it makes him happy. When you argue, he'll need to go blow off steam before he comes back. I never told him about what happened in that jump, but I also didn't lie when I told him he was all of the firsts.

You told me that love wasn't real. Well, he loves you, and it's the realest fucking thing in the world.

[thinkingjasico]

Ok so I don't have other mutuals into PJO but I must confess I've been thinking about a scenario. Gender bend Jasico with Nico as the scary goth girl and Jason/Julia being the local prom queen and they maybe are roommates and fall in love. Have I watched the wicked trailer 200 times? Mayhaps. But I just think it kinda fits them, and I love to make my faves lesbians so. Yeah.

I love this! It also makes me think of an coffee shop AU!

Nico is a barista at this very charming café on campus. She's always very quiet; studying or reading on the other side of the counter when the café is not very busy. Julia always has a million things to do during the day, so she lives off coffee and has been a regular custumer there since her first year in college, until now, in Julia's second year, Nico starts working there and Julia not only becomes terrifyingly fascinated by her, but also obsessed with the playlists Nico puts on during her shift. Julia seems very confident to others, but in reality she's not at all confident about these things; which means that for the entire first semester that year all she said to Nico was: “good afternoon”, “an espresso, please” and “thank you” . She ventured to comment on the rain once, but Nico didn't hear with the noise of the coffee machine, so Julia didn't venture to say anything more.

But when the winter break arrives, Julia's roommate tells her that from January she won't be able to live with her anymore because she's moving in with her girlfriend (Piper and Annabeth? Who knows…).

The problem is: Julia has to share the rent. The person who helps her with the bills, since she has a full scholarship to college, is her older sister Thalia--- who never went to college but has her own business, and neither of the girls has any relationship with their parents. Also, Julia hates the college dorms because she had a horrible experience living there in her first month of college. Her roommate was always taking boys there and ignored her requests to stop doing that, so Thalia said she could pay half of a cheap rent for her, so she could concentrate on her studies (I don't even need to say that for Thalia, Julia is the most perfect creature ever to walk the earth and she would kill and die for her sister to have a good life and not have to go through the things she went through).

Anyway, she's desperate and put up notices all over the college buildings, because if she doesn't find someone to share her apartment, she'll have to move out at the beginning of January. But the campus is practically empty, it's unbearably cold and she should have gone to California to spend the end of the year with her sister already. She goes to the café, upset and anxious, and for the first time she doesn't think about Nico as soon as she walks through the door. Instead of going straight to the counter, she sits down at a table in the corner of the empty café, takes off her wet coat and beanie and leaves her flyers on the table. She's reaching for her cell phone to text Thalia and tell her she won't be able to travel until she's sorted this out; when a cup is placed on the table. She looks up and sees that it's an espresso. She looks up more and sees that Nico is standing there, with her long, black, wavy, voluminous hair tucked behind her pierced ears, and her painted black lips with a piercing in the middle say: “I saw this flyer in the English building today.”

It was just those words.

The flyer had many ways of contacting Julia, with all her social media accounts there so you could see the image of perfection that everyone had of her. Maybe all the problems that would ruin her end of the year and her next semester would be solved now, but all Julia could think was: She knows my order?!

Julia nods, “Yes, I'm looking for someone to share my apartment with. It's right near the campus entrance. The building is pretty old, and I live on the sixth floor, with no elevator, but the apartment is nice, I promise. I'm not noisy or messy and I don't have any pets.” She could have shut up after explaining the location of the building, which was already in the flyer, instead of saying it all in one breath like that, but anyway… “Do you know anyone who would be interested?” Please be you, please be you…

Nico glances to the counter, “I lived in the dorms at first, but my roomate was the most shitty person I've ever met. So I moved into the second floor of the café; not exactly with Luke's permission at first, but when he found me there he let me stay until New Year's.” She turns back to Julia and says nothing more, so Julia assumes that the person interested in the place is Nico herself.

There was a possibility that Julia would fall in love and spend the rest of her college years suffering in silence for that girl, but even if she only got to be friends with Nico, that would be enough for her.

Julia smiles and holds out her hand to Nico to close the deal. "It seems we were fated for each other then." And that was precisely why usually Julia only said the same things to Nico. "I-I mean, destined to be roommates, you know? And solve our housing problems."

But, thank God, the girl didn't seem to pay much attention to what Julia said, because she seemed to be thinking about something, and didn't take Julia's hand. “Hm, I kind of adopted a stray cat that kept eating the café's garbage.”

Julia smiles more broadly; her hand still held out. “Great! Take the cat with you.” And then Nico gives what Julia would later learn is the beginning of a smile, and takes her hand. Julia is actually allergic to cats, but at the moment she couldn't even see it as a problem.

[missyourflight]

some stuff i read and watched in june:

interview with the vampire (s2): very fun to have a fandom to feel wild about week to week again! blessed to have a show where every character is a hot beautiful queer vampire and they're all in love and do terrible things to each other! thankful to have an outlet in my irl friend who's been a lestat girly gn for decades! i read hardly any books or saw any films this month bc i was reading thousands and thousands of words of armand/daniel fanfiction instead!

hit man: liked this a lot but didn't quite love it, glen powell very fun and charming, delightful to see sexy leads with chemistry, austin amelio from everybody wants some!!

snack shack: gabriel labelle yr a star etc, never say no to a bit of nineties nostalgia

the bikeriders: very romantic!

the caine mutiny court martial: i already saw the friedkin one from last year, obviously this is the altman one from the eighties for eric bogosian reasons lol (see above re: iwtv spiral etc). pretty good and very theatrical! baby peter gallagher also there as the opposing counsel! eric bogosian very good at talking and not very convincing navally which is part of the point!

now, conjurers by freddie kölsch: really don't read much ya these days but this was fucking excellent, the last part in particular was so well built and epic and scary and sad and romantic. teen witches with a dead friend! excellent!

private rites by julia armfield: julia is my friend and i love her and she is just stunningly wildly talented! king lear's queer daughters in an apocalyptically flooded world! bad families! romance! cults! water! fisting! she can do it all!!

experienced by kate young: i love a romance set in a british city outside london, this one is about bristol lesbians and it does that tremendously satisfying romance novel thing where the person you want to be the actual love interest does in fact turn out to be the actual love interest

the vampire lestat by anne rice: very fun to do on audio, excited to see sam reid do some of this stuff in s3, because i'm me i was grasping all the horrible gremlin armand content with both hands

the green road by anne enright: read this book about a county clare family reunion while i was in county clare for a family wedding, i have a somewhat slippery relationship with my irishness but i love the west coast and the crashing atlantic specificity of this book, also the new york chapter is a marvel

[crymeariveronceagain]

thoughts on Orwell's 1984 because it took me 2.5 months but i actually got all the way through it!

oh my gosh this book is going to live in my head for an eternity

Orwell is a fantastic writer, and I really enjoyed his style. It's all very intense, and the vibe is a constant intensity. There are very few moments without a sense of being watched, without a feeling that doom lurks just on the horizon, and when, in the rare moments where that feeling of paranoia fades and peace begins to set in, he subverts it, and that's the moment something leaps out of the shadows. It's masterfully crafted and really well done.

This book is extremely obviously about socialism, and the dangers of moral relativism and historical revisionism. Sure, you can throw in other messages too, about like cult worship, secret societies, whatever. But Orwell put this world together as a criticism of the ideas of socialism and socialist ideology. He's clearly an anti-socialist, which makes complete sense, based on his background, life, and his other works, what we know about him, and even this story.

1984 follows this guy, who literally is just some guy, as he figures out he has a brain and he doesn't want to scream in hatred when he's told to.

Okay, speaking of, the amount of parallels that can be drawn from this book to society is disturbing. Like even if we go off of the idea of the "Two Minutes Hate", which is the daily time in which everyone is organized to basically yell at the person society has chosen to hate, that day, one can easily draw parallels between that and say all of social media electing to hate on this person today, that person tomorrow, ruin their life, and then move on. It's disturbing.

Also, a lot of Orwell's thesis statement in this book is on the idea of language and how it's connected to thought. He has this idea that one can only truly think a thought if one has the words to describe that thought, and if one cannot name the feelings, one cannot really be having the feelings. It's a horrifying concept, but one that basically every person needs to keep in mind. The vocabulary you possess controls how and what you think. What you cannot name, you cannot know, you cannot see, you cannot truly understand.

So like, one thing this book really tries to tell you is to pay attention to the words you use. Why do you use them? How do you use them? Where did you learn them? What are their origins? Etc etc, because, really, whoever controls the language controls the minds of the people who uses it.

I thought the romance was horribly unromantic, and it really drove the point home about the mental state of both Winston(just some guy) and Julia. Their being in a relationship is in and of itself an act of rebellion against those who want to abolish everything.

The whole point of this book really really comes back to, over and over, this idea of power. Who has it, who should have it, how it works, why people want it, blah blah blah. It's done spectacularly. You reach the last page and you sit there like "Dang. What did I just read."

Big Brother, also, is a super interesting concept that's used in the book, and I must say the idea that eyes are always watching you and might be listening to you reminds me of all those "Hello FBI guy who lives in my laptop computer and watches my search histories" memes. But in a trippier way. Anyways. Just a thought.

The total lack of privacy is so prominent in the book. Every private moment sticks out like a breath of fresh air.

If you're going to read this book, like, one thing to remember is that a) nothing is what it seems, and also b) the Party REALLY KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING. Never think that they just say things. Never think that they don't know what's going on. Never think for even one moment that they don't know what they're doing. Because if you think that, you're making the same mistake as the main character.

The last chunk of the book is really hard to read, honestly, from a reading perspective, just because it's so psychologically intense. It's this sort of conversion process, trying to turn our beloved Winston(just some guy) into the perfect party member before they kill him. The whole torture, interrogation, conversion process is deeply grimy. It feels like walking down a tunnel but knowing there isn't light at the end. But you hang onto your hope. It's all you've got at this point.

You know that there's no way to make it out of this situation. But you keep reading in hope.

Also, the main bad guy starts monologuing. Reveals his whole evil plan. Which makes you grossed out in your own mind and makes you want to throw the book out the airplane window. It's masterfully written, and Winston is so interesting to watch, because he's the perfect person to empathize with. You wonder how long you could hold up. You wonder how long it would take you to crumble. And really, inside, you know you're crumbling with Winston. You go through the horrors of his imprisonment, and you reach the end of the book.

You can tell it's the end. If you're paying attention, you'll catch how they ruin him all the way. You'll see the moment that lets you know he's done. He's exactly where they want him.

He's renounced his beliefs, fallen in line perfectly. He's done exactly what they want. And now, now they could do exactly what they want with him.

He doesn't die. I'm going to tell you that much.

But the end of the book makes you wonder how much you are Winston. How much of your life is spent doing what every party member does. How long you've got before the interrogation starts. How long before they treat you like a heretic who needs to renounce their heresy, spit upon it, curse it, all the way while they walk to their stake.

The end of the book is sad. It is hopeless. But it is very, very real. The realest thing in this book is its ending.

The last line clenches your stomach like nothing else in the entire novel.

[lotsofsq]

Answer any one/combination of these you'd like with any of the characters! I'm excited to hear your opinions :D Hope you're having a great day

SQ/Shep, John Cole, Nicholas Benedict, Sticky Washington

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

23. Favorite picture of this character?

HOLY MOLY wow ok buckle up buttercup!!! cuz i got opinions for you!!

STARTING WITH SQ (the book one!!)

4: into other media

i’m putting my boy into ted lasso. get that boy some healing and normalcy

5: first song that comes to mind

For Remembering by Agnus &Julia Stone is my first pick. ironic isn’t it, the lyrics fit him really well. i think i also think of Why Am I In This Room?, boy scout by jawny, and the gold by the manchester orchestra as sq songs big time

6: something in common

HORRIBLE MEMORY!!!!!! my memory is dogshit, i get him he’s just like me frfr. i also use big words i don’t know a lot.

7: something the fandom does you like

i really like the fandom just adoring him completely. truth be told i haven’t read many fics about the books yet (they are in two separate fandom categories on ao3, so i’m going through one then the other) so i’m excited to learn more fandom perspectives on him!

8: something the fandom does that you don’t like

this is a hard one, for the above reason, but personally i don’t think he and mr curtain have a parent/child relationship really at all (i know reynie says he sees him as a father but that came completely out of left field for me and i feel like it’s never brought up before or after that) so when sq calls mr curtain his dad when it’s supposed to be the book characters it bugs me

12: headcanon

i headcanon that sq (and the other executives) are around 5-7 years older than i think they are supposed to be. when i read the books i pictured them as like… teacher aged i guess? like sq 24 in book 1. martina i pictured 17 and j&j 26. cuz that’s still pretty young really. i hc that they stop being able to message around 17-18 and that they worked for a few years as executives before book 1

i also hc he gets buff between book 2-3 from doing henchman work instead of teaching

22: something you like in fics

i adore when asks the hard questions. like, he doesn’t see a reason NOT to ask questions, and he asks them so innocently that it’s hard not to answer

23: favorite picture

this one on the cover of the sorting out. if you look at his hair he has these adorable little whispies next to his ears

MOVING ON!!!! SHEPARD QUIAD!!! (the one from the show!!)

5: first song that comes to mind

my way by rock mom, he just wants to stop being controlled :( also blueless bird by joni

6: something in common

WE ARE BOTH ARTISTS!!!! i love love that he has an art bag he carries around everywhere and that he immediately befriends the first kid to compliment his drawings. also the fact he has so many mediums

7: something the fandom does you like

i really like when the fandom puts him in with the benedict household whenever possible for any reason at all. he deserves to be surrounded by people who love him

ALSO WHEN HE PRIORITIZES HIS ART STUFF, man after my own heart

8: something the fandom does that you don’t like

WHEN HE GETS PUT INTO BOOK SITUATIONS HE WOULD NEVER FIND HIMSELF IN!!! by this i mean his character is different from sq’s and he is more willing to lie to his curtain and break his rules, if it means he can have a friend.

so i feel there are book plot points particularly the cave scene and anything to do with him being involved in his dads work just don’t make sense for His character

12: headcanon

i think he is TOUCH STARVED and he doesn’t know it until he interacts with reynie and the benedict household.

22: something you like in fics

i love the headcanon he doesn’t like eating infront of people, because he didn’t used to.

also i’ve read two fics where he walks with a cane and i kinda loved it

23: favorite picture

i love these two!! he looks so soft

NEXT!!! JOHN COLE MY BELOVED

6: something in common

he does eyeball squint smile. i do that sometimes when i’m so tired

7: something the fandom does you like

n/a give me john content

8: something the fandom does that you don’t like

DOESNT TALK ABOUT HIM WAAAHHH

12: headcanon

he grows his hair out after moving in with violet and nick likes to play with it when he visits

22: something you like in fics

when he is there (begging)

23: favorite picture

i love how much bigger than nick he is it’s adorable

NICHOLAS BENEDICT THE LEGEND! show and book a bit more similar so i’m doing them together

5: first song that comes to mind

for show: rule 4- fish inside a bird cage

for book: the only boy awake by meadows

6: something in common

a love of reading and a tendency to leave my things scattered about on the floor at any given moment

7: something the fandom does you like

recognize that he is also a little shit. like constance and nathaniel. he just hides it better

12: headcanon

i think he will make snarky comments to constance in his head like a radio announcer, it sends them into hysterics 

22: something you like in fics

TOUCH STARVED!!! thank you. also transgender

23: favorite picture

both of these are just.. so cute oh my god

The sticky’s are almost the same so here he is!!

5: first song that comes to mind

tin man by america

6: something in common

i really like telling people obscure knowledge i know, and explaining things to people. me 🤝 sticky: erm actually ☝️🤓

7: something the fandom does you like

gives him his props for being super brave, especially when his friends are in danger

8: something the fandom does that you don’t like

makes him the most likely to betray the society than the other three. WRONG i have only seen this once but WRONG!

12: headcanon

he has a phobia of bugs post waiting room, also that he becomes a teacher later in life.

22: something you like in fics

i love when stuff is from his perspective i think it’s really fun. and i enjoy when people write how his very busy brain works

23: favorite picture

i love handsome sticky, plus the little smirk is super cute

[superconductivebean]

#951: little bits about julia

I keep Julia's Deep Lore to myself and to a couple of moots but today would be a very special day to her. It's her day. She's a lesbian.

Stealing Borrowing the idea/format from @celestial--sapphic 👀

This -- is the edit I use as a brief overview of her:

And below the cut -- is a little dive into her personality.

Without indulging you into a lot of details, Julia was born in a family of a Dutch witch and a Faroese man, on a ship. When she was brought to Exeter and, eventually, adopted by a lovely yet somewhat cold Wright family after her parents died, the place left her with a feeling of strange, unknown loneliness. This family, these people; they wouldn't support her as her blood family would;

Julia was right in her assessment; she felt both flattered and terrified that a family of unfamiliar people took her in so willingly, gave her their last name. It was a sign she must've followed house rules and live as they would. That meant learning, a lot, if she wanted to ever leave Exeter; married off, preferably;

Wrights were never strict, however, you may absolutely call them a little funny for nudging on these Dutch people. If you will, a parallel with the Dursleys, except it was more of a running joke to remind Julia she might had have a family back in the Netherlands than ever an actual insult, yet;

Julia could feel it whenever the Wrights painted British people as morally and or decently superior. Julia remembered her previous life poorly but a comment like this always painfully irked her, especially when the Wright's son would do a verbal jab;

It became worse when she became older, around 14-15. She started noticing changes. At school, when other girls were sniggering about the boys, Julia wasn't interested in them. She was rather captivated with her classmates in lieu. And she was judgy of her adoptive brother's choices;

However, the realisation to why she was so invested in observing the classmates and indulging in these silly talks with the brother came to her much later, at Hogwarts;

At Hogwarts, she had an identity crisis, a housing crisis, a very-much-requited love story trope with Poppy, an orientation crisis, another housing crisis -- overall, she is a disaster lesbian except the disaster quite fancies her herself lmao and always tries to handle her more horribles to handle. Such as, The Bureaucracy Arc (@thriftstorebabayaga the one where she was fighting tooth and nail to have a plot of land to her name, got into a habit of smoking, caused Aesop a few grey hairs, and married Imelda);

When she's older, she's all over the butch--femme spectrum. Julia wants to be a chaotic lesbian gremlin until she finds herself and she succeeds at it, somewhat, greatly confusing everyone in the process, herself included;

Her only certainty is boobs;

I personally see her as a butch it rhymes with dutch IM SORRY, by how she often over-commits to whichever cause or task, challenge or deed; I tell you what, her older self has Anne Lister's rizz;

Julia was never able to come out to the Wrights except to their son. He isn't understanding of her in the slightest but he believes it doesn't matter for as long as Julia is happy, he accepts her anyway.

It isn't all but if I continue I might never get up from the puter.

[rhikasa]

Introduction & Navigation

last updated 05.11.2024

about me

Hello, and welcome to my blog! My name is Erin, I use he/they pronouns, and this is my writeblr. I’m an occasional writer at the moment due to burnout, so posts containing snippets of my writing will remain elusive for now. Despite being rather sporadic when it comes to posting writing from my own wips, I do still love being given opportunities to ramble about them.

A few things to know about me:

I’m 23 years old, and my birthday is on April 4.

I’m a queer (nonbinary & ace), neurodivergent adult.

I have a BA in English Literature, but I initially attempted a degree in Creative Writing (a horrible decision really).

For those interested, I’m an Aries (sun) / Virgo (moon) / Leo (rising), and my personality type is INTJ.

I love animals; my family currently has three cats, a dog, three tortoises, a snake, and several fish.

My favorite genres to read and write are fantasy and science fiction.

I’m tag game and ask friendly! You’re welcome to tag me in writing related games, or anything else you’d like me to see, and don’t be afraid to stop by my inbox to ask questions or simply wave hello. Do be aware that I might be slow to respond most days because of social anxiety and/or lack of spoons.

navigation

my writing • answered asks • brain dumps tag

taglist masterpost • wip masterpost

tag games • wbw • sts

my wips

World of Skies Universe

The old guardians have vanished, slain by the warrior of darkness long ago. Memory of them has all but faded from the minds of mortals who have not lived under their divine protection and thus they have fallen to legend, but there are those who hold the hope that someday angels will return when the need arises.

Children of the Maar

summary in progress...

Elysian

Stolen from her former life, Saeth is taken to a world beyond hers; a hidden moon known as Elysium, where she learns about a secret society isolated far away from the hostile planet below. Very few in her position ever choose to resist their new life of luxury, but for Saeth, she would rather be up there with her wife or not at all.

Kinder

Generations ago, the last of humanity was forced to flee into caves far below the land they had once called home. Although the first few years were full of struggle to adapt, the magnificent city of Eldoris was built. Few alive today remember the feeling of sunlight on their skin, and fewer still are aware of the atrocities committed in the darkness that has kept a fragile peace for the residents within.

The Huntress & The Wolf

The small town of Aerilon is left shaken after the discovery of a brutal murder by the river’s edge. Disturbing markings upon the victim leave some of the towns folk to speculate this was not the work of another human being, but a nefarious creature hidden in plain sight, only revealing its true existence beneath the light of a full moon.

The Lost Generation

The last generation of mages has been decimated, their magic stolen from them by outsiders. When a young girl named Julia inherits powers that were not intended for her to receive, she is hidden away on Earth until she learns how to utilize her gift.

Witness

summary in progress...

[mrs-snape5984]

“Free me from this pain, I’ve been running from…”

“I'm tired and I'm free falling. Free me! I'm lost and I am calling you…” (“Free me” by Sia)

I’ve experienced some very rough hardships in my almost 40 years lasting existence in this world…but I’ve never given up on myself. I knew, that I’d have to fight my way back out of these horrible miseries, and I kept my faith to find the path to better times…to find the path, which will lead me upwards again.

I admit, these hardships left their marks, their scars on me. They formed my heart and my mindset…they made me the person, that I am today. I learned my lessons…and I kept going.

Since I’m living struggling with this goddamn bitch of a disease, called ME/CFS, my life has only one direction: It’s going downhill…and it’s getting faster! In these past 1,5 years, I’ve lost more and more of all the things, which made my life worth living for. I lost my ability to do my job as a pedagogue and social worker. I lost my freedom, since I’m stuck in my dark room day and night. I lost a lot of social contacts, since screen time is messing with my brain and each phone call costs me too much energy. I lost my capability to be an active mother for my three children…and this is the part, that hurts the most. Damn, I lost so much more…and I feel my heart shattering in pieces every fucking day!

Everything in my life is slowly falling apart and I’m losing my grip on reality…and on myself! The newest pain in the ass is probably my habit of passing out every few days. My whole system shuts down in the middle of a simple talk or something else and I’m falling into unconsciousness! I can’t remember the things, I’ve done before…I’m just blacked out for several hours. At first, my kids were afraid in these moments…especially when they couldn’t wake me up from this state! But now, they simply accept that “quirk” of mine as their new reality…and my motherly heart is aching for them. This shouldn’t be their reality! They shouldn’t have to live with a mother, who’s always in the dark…who’s always lying in bed! They’re children!! They shouldn’t have to whisper in my presence. I should be the person, they can rely on unconditionally!! Fuck…my heart is bleeding…and I’m sorry for my pathetic venting.

I need a way out of this hell…but since there isn’t any possibility for me right now, I’ll keep on clinging on Severus. My fantasies of him and my way of coping with my misery by writing stories about him and my - oh so self-inserted - OC Julia/Jules are the only thing, that keeps me mentally stable functioning. Well…at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I mean, I know how depressed my posts might seem.

My favourite artist for my darkest ideas is my friend @madfantasy. I told Mani about my wish to be freed from my darkness…to be cured from my disease. I need a saviour…a true hero…I need Severus! Since there aren’t any promising medical treatments, I’ll need a magical miracle to get rescued. And this is exactly, what Severus is trying for me. He conjures the demons inside my soul and forces them to leave my body. Severus is the only person, who’s brave enough to face the darkness within me. He’s my knight…and the love of my life. 21 years of my life, it was Severus, who kept me going…who inspired me with his resilience and his courage! A lot of those previous hardships could be endured by me, because I had something, I believed in. I had something, that gave me confidence and strength. I had Severus. So, please…don’t let me lose my hope and my faith in his support. And don’t let me lose my faith in myself.

Mani, my precious friend, I’m stunned by your ability to understand my ideas. Every time, I’m commissioning you for another project, your art helps me to soothe my troubled heart. It is as if you’re drawing my feelings!! I can sense my own emotions in every single line of your drawing. You don’t know, how grateful I am that I was allowed to meet you here. I love our conversations and our understanding for each other. Feel hugged, Mani! I’m sending you so much love! 🫂🫂 (fly fly) 🥹🖤 Thank you for everything.

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[deimosbreakfrost]

Total Drama December Day 3: LEAST FAVORITES FROM EACH SEASON

Total Drama Island, Action and World Tour

Duncan, Gwen and Courtney: I HATE LOVE TRIANGLE DRAMAS

Total drama Revenge of the Island

Jo: WHY ARE YOU SO BIPOLAR?!

Scott: how I said, I love and hate him. I love him because of his personality da the fact that he is a great villain but I hate his actions, BUT I STILL LOVE HIM

Total pahkitew island:

Sugar: Owen And Ripper fusion but Alot worser.

Amy: Annoying and idk what else

Ridonculous Race

That one Wizard and Viking guys

Reboot

Julia: Horrible villain. "Now the world will see the real Julia" then no shit changed. Bowie could destroy and obliterate this girl if she wasn't dragged by the script and Chase and Ripper could easily Make this Flop disappear but no, she is the villain-- she did almost nothing during the season and everyone could end her

[bracketsoffear]

Flesh Leitner Reading List

The full list of submissions for the Flesh Leitner bracket. Bold titles are ones which were accepted to appear in the bracket. Synopses and propaganda can be found below the cut. Be warned, however, that these may contain spoilers!

Awad, Mona: Rouge

Barker, Clive: The Hellbound Heart Basye, Dale E.: Blimpo Bazterrica, Agustina: Cadáver exquisito (Tender is the flesh) Boote, Justin: Carnivore Bradbury, Ray: Skeleton Brown, Daniel James: The Indifferent Stars Above Buller,  Jon and Susan Schade: Mike and the Magic Cookies

Calvert, Amy: You Are What You (M)Eat: Explorations of Meat-Eating, Masculinity and Masquerade Carroll, Emily: Some Other Animal’s Meat Clarke, Arthur C.: Food of the Gods Cook, Robin: Coma

Dahl, Roald: Pig

Ellin, Stanley: The Specialty of the House Enriquez, Mariana: Carne (Meat)

Fink, Joseph: It Devours!

Gaiman, Neil: Babycakes from Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions Graves, Damian: An Apple A Day Guanzhong, Luo: Excerpt from Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Harris, Thomas: Hannibal Harris, Thomas: Silence of the Lambs

Ito, Junji: Glyceride Ito, Junji: Tomie

Katsu, Alma: The Hunger KFC: Tender Wings of Desire King, Stephen: Survivor Type King, Stephen: Thinner

Lee, Tanith: The Beast Levene, Rebecca: Too Rich for My Blood (in Seven Deadly Sins)

Miyazawa, Kenji: The Restaurant of Many Orders

Ojeda, Mónica: Mandíbula (Jawbone) Orwell, George: Animal Farm Ovid: Metamorphoses

Pinkwater, Daniel: Slaves of Spiegel Piper, Hailey: Benny Rose, the Cannibal King Pizarnik, Alejandra: La Condesa Sangrienta (The bloody countess)

Quiroga, Horacio: La gallina degollada (The decapitated chicken)

Rymer, James Malcolm and Thomas Peckett Prest: The String of Pearls; or, Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Shusterman, Neal: Duckling Ugly Sinclair, Upton: The Jungle Smith, Clark Ashton: The Garden of Adompha Smith, Cordwainer: A Planet Named Shayol Stine, R.L.: Chicken, Chicken Stine, R.L. and Stephen Roos: The Boy Who Ate Fear Street Summers, Chelsea G.: A Certain Hunger Swift, Jonathan: A Modest Proposal

Wells, H.G.: The Island of Dr. Moreau

Yoshitomi, Akihito: School Ningyo (School Mermaid)

Awad, Mona: Rouge

The book’s themes centre on consumption and perfecting the body. Much of it is reminiscent of the denizens of the mortal garden. Vague cannibalism and vampiric vibes but the latter distinctly not in a hunt way. A lot of juxtaposition of sterility and cleanness with fleshliness and revulsion. Towards the end of the book, the main character finds herself in a production line-esque march to some unknown doom. The book is tinged with several powers (haven’t even touched on the spooky mirror-dwelling dark prince who assumes the guise of whoever the watcher most desires) but flesh seems like the dominant one.

Barker, Clive: The Hellbound Heart

Frank Cotton is a hedonistic criminal selfishly devoted to sensual experience even if it harms others. Believing he has indulged in every pleasure the world can offer, Frank obtains the Lemarchand Configuration, a puzzle box said to open a "schism" or portal to an extradimensional realm of unfathomable pleasure ruled by beings called the Cenobites. Solving the box, he is confused and horrified when the Cenobites – horribly scarified creatures whose bodies have been modified to the point that they appear sexless and in constant pain – arrive. Frank still eagerly accepts the offer of experiences he has never known before, and the Cenobites take him to their realm, where they subject him to total sensory overload and he realises their devotion to sadomasochism is so extreme and their personalities so removed from humanity that they no longer differentiate between pain and pleasure and have no care to ever stop even if their subject no longer wishes the experience.

Sometime later, Frank's brother, Rory, moves into the home in England with his wife Julia. Unknown to Rory, Julia had an affair with Frank a week before their wedding and has lusted after him since. While in the attic, Rory accidentally cuts his hand and bleeds on the spot where Frank was taken by the Cenobites. The blood, mixed with semen Frank had left on the floor before he was taken, opens a dimensional schism. Frank returns, his body now reduced to a desiccated corpse by the Cenobites' experiments. Julia later finds him and promises to restore his body so he can truly live and they can be together. Julia seduces men at bars and kills them in the attic, where Frank feeds on their corpses.

Rory's friend Kirsty encounters Frank, who attempts to kill her. Kirsty grabs the puzzle box before fleeing and later accidentally opens it. The Cenobite intends to take Kirsty now that it is here, but she then reveals Frank is alive on Earth again. Though skeptical that one of their experiments could have escaped, the Cenobite is intrigued. It agrees that if Kirsty leads them to Frank and he confirms his identity, they will take him back and perhaps leave her alone.

Rory and Julia claim they killed Frank but Kirsty realizes the man she is speaking to is Frank wearing Rory's skin. Another altercation ensues, during which Frank inadvertently kills Julia. Kirsty then baits Frank into admitting his true name out loud. The Cenobites appear, ensnare Frank and return him to their realm, telling Kirsty to leave. Downstairs, Kirsty sees Julia's disembodied head calling for help. The leader of the Cenobites, a being called the Engineer, then appears and seems to take away Julia as well before briefly bumping into Kirsty. After leaving the house, Kirsty realizes the Engineer gave her the puzzle box to watch over until another seeks it out.

Basye, Dale E.: Blimpo

"After his second escape from Bea "Elsa" Bubb, the Principal of Darkness, Milton Fauster makes his way to Blimpo—the circle of the otherworldly reform school, Heck, where he's sure his friend Virgil is sentenced. Virgil's only crime is being, well, plump . Milton has to wonder if that's really enough to justify eternal darnation. And what Milton finds in Blimpo horrifies him. The overweight dead kids spend most of their time running on giant human hamster wheels called DREADmills that detect and exploit their deepest fears. The rest they spend eating Hambone Hank's barbecue—mystery meat that is delicious, but suspiciously (to Milton, anyway) haunting . Every classroom has a huge TV screen showing happy thin people who taunt Blimpo residents with a perfection they will never attain. Meanwhile, at her new job in the devil's Infernship program, Milton's sister, Marlo, knows all about trying to achieve perfection. And failing miserably. Can Milton get himself and Virgil out of Blimpo in time to rescue Marlo, too? Or is Fauster the next delicacy on Bea "Elsa" Bubb's menu?"

Bazterrica, Agustina: Cadáver exquisito (Tender is the flesh)

Working at the local processing plant, Marcos is in the business of slaughtering humans —though no one calls them that anymore.

His wife has left him, his father is sinking into dementia, and Marcos tries not to think too hard about how he makes a living. After all, it happened so quickly. First, it was reported that an infectious virus has made all animal meat poisonous to humans. Then governments initiated the “Transition.” Now, eating human meat—“special meat”—is legal. Marcos tries to stick to numbers, consignments, processing.

Then one day he’s given a gift: a live specimen of the finest quality. Though he’s aware that any form of personal contact is forbidden on pain of death, little by little he starts to treat her like a human being. And soon, he becomes tortured by what has been lost—and what might still be saved.

***

The virus makes animal flesh unsafe to eat. Society converts to farming humans for meat. The book describes functioning slaughterhouse, often exaggerating the violence that goes on within. Where does the border between animals and human lie? What does it means to be reduced to meat? How would a human behave if they were treated like cattle?

Boote, Justin: Carnivore

Detective Inspector Jim Morfield is worried. In the quiet, countryside village of Fritton, human remains have begun appearing. Bodies so viciously mutilated that only their bones are left behind, in some cases less than a few hours after they were reported missing. What creature could possibly devour human remains so quickly? Surely, as with the case of farmer Stanley Walters, it couldn’t be his cows nearby and covered in blood that dismembered and devoured him? Then, when another person is attacked by a horse, his arm nearly torn off, he has no choice but to consider the impossible.

The problem is that there is another killer to contend with. One who has Fritton terrified. A serial killer hiding among the woods and fields, unseen, unchallenged. Now Jim has to decide if the bodies accumulating in the area are the works of a human or something as harmless as the local wildlife.

Bradbury, Ray: Skeleton

The story of a hypochondriac who becomes utterly terrified of the alien form of his own bones, and sets out to have them... treated. The character of M. Munigant alone, and his terrible office, would have made for an excellent Flesh avatar.

Brown, Daniel James: The Indifferent Stars Above

In April of 1846, twenty-one-year-old Sarah Graves, intent on a better future, set out west from Illinois with her new husband, her parents, and eight siblings. Seven months later, after joining a party of emigrants led by George Donner, they reached the Sierra Nevada Mountains as the first heavy snows of the season closed the pass ahead of them. In early December, starving and desperate, Sarah and fourteen others set out for California on snowshoes and, over the next thirty-two days, endured almost unfathomable hardships and horrors.

In this gripping narrative, Daniel James Brown sheds new light on one of the most infamous events in American history. Following every painful footstep of Sarah's journey with the Donner Party, Brown produces a tale both spellbinding and richly informative.

Bonus: This is a nonfiction account of The Donner Party, probably one of the most famous occurrences of survival cannibalism in history.

Buller,  Jon and Susan Schade: Mike and the Magic Cookies

The protagonist and his family are turned into animals by the antagonist who is planning to eat them. Pretty Flesh i guess.

Calvert, Amy: You Are What You (M)Eat: Explorations of Meat-Eating, Masculinity and Masquerade

A fascinating essay on the concept of carnophallogocentrism (the connection between meat-eating and masculinity, as defined by Jacques Derrida) which discusses the gendered politics of consuming, preparing, and raising meat animals, viewed through the lens of the US reality television series Man V. Food. Calvert argues that the show represents the sexualization of both women and meat, and represents a cultural backlash against feminism as traditional concepts of masculinity are reasserted through the grotesque displays of meat consumption onscreen.

Carroll, Emily: Some Other Animal’s Meat

An excellent blend of the body image issues central to the Flesh and classic body horror.

“Aren't you tired of all those half empty bottles cluttering up the cupboard beneath your bathroom sink? Why not choose something that actually WORKS for once? Alo-Glo is all natural rejuvenating healing”

“But I wonder... What if inside. it's somehow the wrong stuff? What if my meat is some other animal's meat and the human part of me is just the skin like the smooth layer of dough you drape over an uncooked pie”

Clarke, Arthur C.: Food of the Gods

In this imagined future, we have stopped killing animals for meat and started to grow tissue in vats instead (to help support our even-more-massive population). People actually retch at the thought of eating animal flesh, although the vast majority of the various manufactured foods replicate the characteristics of various meats exactly. Several companies manufacture the stuff and get into a competition about who can make the best. Eventually, one company makes one that apparently tastes delicious and is perfectly tailored to human needs, calling it "Ambrosia Plus". The competition goes before a Senate subcommittee to explain why this might be a problem:

"Yes, Triplanitary's chemists have done a superb technical job. Now you have to resolve the moral and philosophical issues. When I began my evidence, I used the archaic word 'carnivore'. Now I must introduce you to another: I'll spell it out the first time: C-A-N-N-I-B-A-L ..."

Cook, Robin: Coma

Susan Wheeler is a medical student working at the Boston Memorial Hospital. Young, healthy patients are coming in for routine operations and leaving in permanent comas. Susan investigates, eventually unearthing an Organ Theft conspiracy. Apparently, they started using hospital patients who were already comatose, but demand (and profits) is such that they start artificially inducing brain death in healthy patients undergoing surgery to get more victims.

Dahl, Roald: Pig

Once upon a time, a boy named Lexington is born in New York City. Unfortunately he is soon orphaned when his parents are accidentally shot by the police, who mistake them for robbers. Lexington is sent to live with his Aunt Glosspan out in her cottage high in the Blue Ridge Mountains. She is an eccentric old woman who schools him herself and raises him to be a strict vegetarian. As he grows older, Lexington starts to exhibit a talent for cooking and Aunt Glosspan encourages him to write a cookbook. By the time he is 17, he has invented over 9,000 different dishes. He is shocked when Aunt Glosspan suddenly dies, though, and he buries her himself behind the cowshed. The next day he finds a letter she has left him instructing him to go to New York and meet with her lawyer. Apparently the lawyer will read her Will and then give Lexington money to pursue his cooking ambitions. Unfortunately for the boy, the lawyer is an unscrupulous man who takes advantage of Lexington’s trusting nature and ends up giving him just $15,000 out of the $500,000 his Aunt left for him. Upon leaving the office, Lexington decides he is hungry and heads to the nearest restaurant for some dinner. To his surprise, he is served pork for the first time in his life and he finds it delicious. Eager to learn about this new food for his book, he bribes the waiter to take him back into the kitchen to meet the chef. The chef tells him though, that he can’t be sure it was pig’s meat. “There’s just a chance,” he says, “that it might have been a piece of human stuff.” He tells Lexington that they’ve been getting an awful lot of it from the butcher lately. He’s pretty sure that the piece Lexington had was pork though, so the boy asks him to show him how to prepare it. The cook says that it all begins with a properly butchered pig. Wanting to see how this is done, Lexington takes off for the packing-house in the Bronx. When he gets there he is ushered into a waiting room to await the Guided Tour. He watches as others go through the doors before him: a mother with two little boys, a young couple, and a pale woman with long white gloves. Finally his turn is called, and he is led to the “schackling area” where the pigs are grabbed, looped about the ankle with a chain, and then dragged up through a hole in the roof. While he is watching, one of the workers slips a chain around Lexington’s ankle and before he knows what is happening he is being dragged along the path as well. “Help!” he cries. “There’s been a frightful mistake!” But no one stops the engine, and he’s carried along to the sticker, who slices open the boy’s jugular vein with a knife. As the belt moves on and Lexington begins to feel faint, he sees the pigs ahead being dropped into a large cauldron of boiling water. One of the pigs seems to be wearing white gloves. Lexington’s strong heart pumps out the last of his blood, and he passes on “out of this, the best of all possible worlds, into the next.”

***

A short story about a cookbook writer, Lexington, who was raised by a strictly vegetarian aunt. After her aunt's death, he seeks to expand his culinary horizons, first by tasting pork for the first time and then going to a factory tour to see how meat is processed. Unfortunately for him, the slaughterhouse he goes to appears to specialize on processing meat of the "long pig" kind...

Ellin, Stanley: The Specialty of the House

https://scrapsfromtheloft.com/books/stanley-ellin-the-specialty-of-the-house/

A macabre little tale about an unusual restaurant in Manhattan and its lonely patrons.

Enriquez, Mariana: Carne (Meat)

From the book Los peligros de fumar en la cama (The dangers of smoking in bed).

After the suicide of a controversial culty musician who sang about how we're all meat, a couple of teenagers dug up his rotting body and began to consume it until they were detained by police. This leads to a huge debate in the city as to wether these girls were insane groupies or if they "understood his message perfectly".

Fink, Joseph: It Devours!

From the authors of the New York Times bestselling novel Welcome to Night Vale and the creators of the #1 international podcast of the same name, comes a mystery exploring the intersections of faith and science, the growing relationship between two young people who want desperately to trust each other, and the terrifying, toothy power of the Smiling God.

Nilanjana Sikdar is an outsider to the town of Night Vale. Working for Carlos, the town’s top scientist, she relies on fact and logic as her guiding principles. But all of that is put into question when Carlos gives her a special assignment investigating a mysterious rumbling in the desert wasteland outside of town. This investigation leads her to the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God, and to Darryl, one of its most committed members. Caught between her beliefs in the ultimate power of science and her growing attraction to Darryl, she begins to suspect the Congregation is planning a ritual that could threaten the lives of everyone in town. Nilanjana and Darryl must search for common ground between their very different world views as they are faced with the Congregation’s darkest and most terrible secret.

Gaiman, Neil: Babycakes from Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions

In this story, all the animals disappeared and people resorted to using babies as a substitute. Eating them. wearing clothes made with their skin and testing various things of them. A remarkably macabre Flesh vision of the world. Also, written as a benefit for PETA which, I think, should give it bonus points in the flesh category.

Graves, Damian: An Apple A Day

Tim Barnett decides to get revenge on his cruel neighbor, Bill Cole, by vandalizing his apple orchard. He steals and eats one of the man's apples as a souvenir, prompting a slow, painful transformation into an apple tree.

Guanzhong, Luo: Excerpt from Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Untitled, fictitious story in the larger work, meant to demonstrate Liu Bei's incredible character. He stops at the home of Liu An (a hunter, and one of his relatives). Liu An doesn't have enough meat to feed his lord and his retinue, to he kills, butchers, cooks and serves his own wife so that Liu Bei and company wouldn't be under-served. When Liu Bei finds out this he is shocked, but not outraged, at having been unknowingly fed human flesh. He is, instead, amazed at Liu An's devotion to hospitality (to the point of feeding his lord his own wife), and instead praises him as a model citizen. And this is a story the author inserted to make Liu Bei sound more virtuous and heroic than he was in actual history!

Harris, Thomas: Hannibal

Lecter's backstory. As horrible as you would imagine.

Harris, Thomas: Silence of the Lambs

Not only is this book about a guy who kidnaps, captures, and kills women and peels off their skin to make himself beautiful, there’s an unrelated cannibal (Dr Hannibal Lecter) just hanging out in jail. The title derives from Clarise’s experience growing up on a farm and hearing “the silence of the lambs” after they’ve been screaming before being slaughtered.

Ito, Junji: Glyceride

The story revolves around a father and his daughter and son, who run a barbecue joint, which results in grease rising from the bottom floor to their living space, making everything in their house- their clothes, the walls, the furniture - covered in a film of grease. There's a constant motif of the horrors of the flesh at their grossest: The constant bullying the daughter Yui endures from her brother Goro, her stress and disgust at what she calls the "saturation level" of grease in the air, the horrible acne Goro develops and his strange addiction to drinking cooking oil, and the unnatural, greasy body odor their father has. All of this is later put on disgusting constract against their father's job at the barbecue, and how his customers think the meat he serves is delicious...

All of this escalates until Goro tries to kill Yui. However, their father saves Yui by bashing Goro over the head with a frying pan, killing him; he subsequently gets rid of the body by serving his flesh to the customers in his restaurant. The restaurant enjoys a revival in popularity due to Goro being served to the patrons but, when the meat runs out, the customers stop coming back. Yui begins to develop acne and a bad temper, just like Goro. She wakes up one night to find her father forcing oil down her throat just as Goro used to drink it. From then on, Yui can't sleep due to her father's constant efforts to break into her room and give her oil.

With no more meat left, Yui's father is forced to close the restaurant. He begins drinking the oil himself. His skin and hair become even greasier, and the saturation level continues to rise. The entire house is now full to the brim with grease, and grease drips constantly from the ceiling the saturation level is 90%. Eventually, Yui catches a glimpse of her father cutting off his own leg to serve in the restaurant since Goro's been eaten and she refuses to drink the oil; she observes that her father's leg is not leaking blood, only grease, as she realizes the saturation level is now at 100%.

Ito, Junji: Tomie

Not only has body horror and cannibalism, but is also a commentary on beauty standards and objectification of women.

Katsu, Alma: The Hunger

Tamsen Donner must be a witch. That is the only way to explain the series of misfortunes that have plagued the wagon train known as the Donner Party. Depleted rations, bitter quarrels, and the mysterious death of a little boy have driven the pioneers to the brink of madness. They cannot escape the feeling that someone--or something--is stalking them. Whether it was a curse from the beautiful Tamsen, the choice to follow a disastrous experimental route West, or just plain bad luck--the 90 men, women, and children of the Donner Party are at the brink of one of the deadliest and most disastrous western adventures in American history.

While the ill-fated group struggles to survive in the treacherous mountain conditions--searing heat that turns the sand into bubbling stew; snows that freeze the oxen where they stand--evil begins to grow around them, and within them. As members of the party begin to disappear, they must ask themselves "What if there is something waiting in the mountains? Something disturbing and diseased...and very hungry?"

KFC: Tender Wings of Desire

It's a romance novel by KFC. What more do you really need to know?

King, Stephen: Survivor Type

One of the few short stories that even King thinks he went a little too far on.

From Wikipedia: "Survivor Type is written as the diary of a disgraced surgeon, Richard Pine nee Pinzetti, who, while attempting to smuggle a large amount of heroin aboard a cruise ship, is forced to escape when an explosion causes the ship to sink. He relates growing up poor in an Italian-American neighborhood and playing college football (which he hated) to get into a good college and then went on to medical school and in time a successful practice until his illegal distribution of prescription medicines and blank forms led to the loss of his license. He arranged to smuggle heroin from Vietnam to make a large amount of money, which would then be distributed for bribes that would enable him to return to practicing medicine. While encountering a storm in his empty lifeboat, Pine finds himself marooned on a tiny island in the Pacific Ocean whose exact location is completely unknown to him, with very limited supplies and no food. A self-proclaimed "survivor" type, Pine bitterly whiles away the time by using a logbook as his diary, detailing his rise and fall in the medical profession and his determination to survive this ordeal, get even with the people that "screwed him over," and return to prosperity.

Over time, the diary entries become more and more disjointed and raving, revealing Pine's slow mental decay and eventual insanity caused by starvation, isolation and drug use. Determined to hold out for rescue, he goes to horrifying lengths to survive. He eats insects, kelp and seagulls. After fracturing his ankle while attempting to signal an airplane, he amputates his own foot, then realizes he has to eat it to survive. He continues to amputate his own limbs to use as a food source, ingesting the heroin as a crude anesthetic during these operations. His last few diary entries, barely comprehensible, indicate that Pine has sliced off and eaten both legs, as well as his earlobes, and drools uncontrollably as he ponders which body part to consume next. The diary entries end when he cuts off his left hand to eat it and writes "lady fingers they taste just like lady fingers." "

King, Stephen: Thinner

Billy Halleck is a successful, arrogant lawyer known for his chronic obesity and sleazy manner. While driving across town he is distracted by his wife Heidi and runs over an elderly Romani woman, killing her. The woman's father, Taduz Lemke, curses Billy outside the courthouse, and Billy begins to lose weight rapidly regardless of how much he eats. Later, Billy discovers that the judge who cleared him of manslaughter charges has been disfigured by hideous scales growing on his skin, while the policeman who committed perjury on Billy's behalf is now stricken with uncontrollable acne. Both men eventually commit suicide out of shame for their malformed appearances.

(The judge is literally slowly turning into like, a literal alligator man, in horrifying detail per Stephen King. The policeman's "acne" is his entire skin basically turning into one giant pimple and sloughing off. It's very Flesh and VERY horrifying)

A now-emaciated, nearly skeletal Billy tracks the Romani band north along the seacoast of New England to Maine. He confronts Lemke at their camp and tries to persuade him to lift the curse but Lemke refuses.

Billy calls for help from his mob boss friend who threatens the Romani with violence until Lemke agrees to meet with Billy, who is now at risk of death from heart arrhythmia because of his emaciation. Lemke brings a strawberry pie with him and adds blood from Billy's wounded hand to it. He explains that the curse can't be taken back, so Billy must pass it to someone else by getting them to eat the pie. (The pie starts pulsing like it has a heartbeat by the way.)

Billy returns home intending to feed the pie to Heidi as he blames her for his predicament. He falls asleep, and when he wakes, he is horrified to find that both Heidi and his beloved daughter Linda are now cursed. Without hesitation, he eats the rest of the pie. And then the book just fucking ENDS, leaving you the reader to speculate on how the curse manifests to finish them off.

Lee, Tanith: The Beast

A "Beauty and the Beast" retelling that inverts a lot of the fairytale's traditional tropes: instead of Vessavion starting the story as an ugly Beast who becomes handsome at the end when the Beauty returns to him and recognizes his inner beauty, he starts the story as a handsome and seemingly perfect man who becomes an ugly Beast (and dead) at the end when his wife Isobel leaves him after learning about his secret hobby of murdering ugly people and taking their incongruously beautiful body parts for his collection.

Levene, Rebecca: Too Rich for My Blood (in Seven Deadly Sins)

The stories in Short Trips: Seven Deadly Sins are based on the Christian concept of seven deadly sins. This story's theme is gluttony.

On a trip to Las Vegas, Chris Cwej watches a hot-dog eating contest go horribly wrong as a painfully skinny contender devours his entire plate... and then his competitors'... and then his competitors. He's been spiked with alien hormones that massively accelerate his metabolism, burning away his calories as he eats -- and it's infectious. Soon, the casino is overrun with a zombie plague as Chris tries to lead the survivors to safety and ensure that the infection doesn't make its way onto the streets. Meanwhile, the Doctor searches for a cure, and Benny has stumbled into a poker tournament where the prize is getting to live.

Miyazawa, Kenji: The Restaurant of Many Orders

From Wikipedia: "Two gentlemen in Western-style dress go hunting in the woods, accompanied by two dogs and a guide. After a day of hunting, they have failed to capture any game, they have become separated from their guide, and their dogs suddenly drop dead. As the two gentlemen lament their losses and trudge forward, they suddenly turn to find a large Western-style house with a sign reading, "Restaurant Wildcat House Western-Style Cooking". The hungry gentlemen, though unnerved, enter the restaurant to encounter a series of doors that open before and close behind them. Each door is preceded by a sign, the first few of which bear double-entendre messages of welcome. The gentlemen interpret these signs, apologizing for the restaurant's "many orders", as indicating the restaurant's popularity and quality. Later signs bear commands (the Japanese 注文 chūmon having the same two senses as the English "orders") instructing the men to undress and rub themselves with strange substances. All the while, growing hungrier and colder, the men speculate about the fine food and diners they expect to find in a restaurant so discerning.

Finally, the men realize they cannot go back and realize that they will be devoured by the proprietor of the house if they approach the last door. In a deus ex machina, their previously dead dogs return to fight the demons lying behind the final door and the house vanishes into mist. The gentlemen are rejoined by their guide, and they return to Tokyo forever traumatized by the experience."

Ojeda, Mónica: Mandíbula (Jawbone)

“Was desire something like being possessed by a nightmare?”

Fernanda and Annelise are so close they are practically sisters: a double image, inseparable. So how does Fernanda end up bound on the floor of a deserted cabin, held hostage by one of her teachers and estranged from Annelise?

When Fernanda, Annelise, and their friends from the Delta Bilingual Academy convene after school, Annelise leads them in thrilling but increasingly dangerous rituals to a rhinestoned, Dior-scented, drag-queen god of her own invention. Even more perilous is the secret Annelise and Fernanda share, rooted in a dare in which violence meets love. Meanwhile, their literature teacher Miss Clara, who is obsessed with imitating her dead mother, struggles to preserve her deteriorating sanity. Each day she edges nearer to a total break with reality.

Orwell, George: Animal Farm

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” A farm is taken over by its overworked, mistreated animals. With flaming idealism and stirring slogans, they set out to create a paradise of progress, justice, and equality. Thus the stage is set for one of the most telling satiric fables ever penned—a razor-edged fairy tale for grown-ups that records the evolution from revolution against tyranny to a totalitarianism just as terrible.

When Animal Farm was first published, Stalinist Russia was seen as its target. Today it is devastatingly clear that wherever and whenever freedom is attacked, under whatever banner, the cutting clarity and savage comedy of George Orwell’s masterpiece have a meaning and message still ferociously fresh.

***

"It tells the story of a group of anthropomorphic farm animals who rebel against their human farmer, hoping to create a society where the animals can be equal, free, and happy. Ultimately, the rebellion is betrayed and, under the dictatorship of a pig named Napoleon, the farm ends up in a state as bad as it was before. "

A tale about animals trying to rebel against the slaughter and failing. What's more flesh than that? Also, it's a metaphor against totalitarian regimes and in those humans are often treated like cattle.

Ovid: Metamorphoses

A series of stories all about transformation, the flesh being reshaped in radical ways. Sometimes the changes are punishments, other times rewards, but all of them are carefully detailed and totally irrevocable. May have played a role in my own furry awakening.

Pinkwater, Daniel: Slaves of Spiegel

At the beginning of the story, a community of obese space pirates inhabit the planet Spiegel, but periodically raid other planets for fattening food. At a feast celebrating their raids, the pirates' supreme commander 'Sargon the Great' initiates a new expedition for the three greatest cooks in the galaxy; at the conclusion whereof, the three finalists and their assistants are brought to a grand festival on Spiegel, and ordered to satisfy all the pirates in a contest of their skills, of which the winner's prize is the lifelong position of chief cook to the pirates themselves. Among the finalists are Steve Nickleson (the protagonist of an earlier book) and his assistant Norman Bleistift, whereof Norman serves as first-person narrator of nearly one-half of the text. Ultimately, Steve and Norman win the second prize of 600 pounds of Spiegelian blue garlic and transport home, which Steve later uses to create a "bright blue" pizza. The first place winner is forced to cook for the pirates forever.

Piper, Hailey: Benny Rose, the Cannibal King

The main antagonist of the novel, Benny Rose has a special hunger for children. During the 50s, he ended up trapped with five kids in the basement of a hospital that caught fire and consumed them to stay alive, which caused him to become a supernatural entity of some kind. Now, every Halloween night, he strikes and feasts upon the trick-and-treaters who are filling the streets. To make him even more heinous, he eats his victims piecemeal, while they're still alive.

Pizarnik, Alejandra: La Condesa Sangrienta (The bloody countess)

The book is based on the real life story that inspired the figure of the vampire.

Accused of the murders of 650 young women, Erzébeth Báthory is one of the most sinister criminals in history. In her castle on the Carpaths, in the late 17th century, the countess closes in on her victims to bleed them and keep her youth. Her cursed and fascinating legend lives on through time. The bloody countess is one of Alejandra Pizarnik's key works, its pages build up a disturbing portrait of sadism and madness.

Quiroga, Horacio: La gallina degollada (The decapitated chicken)

A couple has a deep desire to have children and a legacy. Unfortunately their first four sons turn out to be idiots because of a congenital disease. They have a fifth child, a daughter who appears to be healthy and quickly becomes the favourite while the idiot sons get sent to live their lives sitting on the backyard. One day, the sons witness the cook beheading a chicken for lunch, and become obsessed with the colour red from the blood, chanting "Red, red". When they see their sister playing outside, they, in unison, replicate what the cook did to the chicken with her while chanting "red, red".

Rymer, James Malcolm and Thomas Peckett Prest: The String of Pearls; or, Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

The book that inspired the musical, complete with delicious meat pies.

Shusterman, Neal: Duckling Ugly

Cara is so ugly, mirrors would rather break than show her reflection. Not even her own parents can deny her ugliness, and nothing can make up for the cruelty of her schoolmates. Tormented and tortured by the shallow people of Flock’s Rest, Cara’s life is miserable. Then Cara receives a shimmering note from some exotic place suggesting that there’s more to her than meets the eye. Cara wonders if her destiny has something to do with her recurring dreams of a beautiful green valley where the people are so accepting, her ugliness doesn’t matter. Soon, Cara discovers that her valley of dreams is real. It’s a place where the ugliest of ducklings can become swans. A swan, however, can have a serious taste for revenge . . . deadly revenge.

Sinclair, Upton: The Jungle

Sinclair wrote the novel to portray the lives of immigrants in the United States in Chicago and similar industrialized cities. Many readers were most concerned with his exposure of health violations and unsanitary practices in the American meatpacking industry during the early 20th century, based on an investigation he did for a socialist newspaper.

The book depicts working class poverty, the lack of social supports, harsh and unpleasant living and working conditions, and a hopelessness among many workers. These elements are contrasted with the deeply rooted corruption of people in power. A review by the writer Jack London called it, "the Uncle Tom's Cabin of wage slavery."

***

It examines the desperate lives of meatpacking workers in Packingtown, Illinois, an area of southwest Chicago marked by its abundance of stockyards, slaughterhouses, factories, and cramped tenements, in the early 20th century.

Sinclair's primary purpose in describing the meat industry and its working conditions was to advance socialism in the United States. However, the novel's most notable impact at the time was to provoke public outcry over passages exposing health violations and unsanitary practices in the American meat-packing industry during the early 20th century, which led to sanitation reforms including the Meat Inspection Act.

***

The Jungle is the story of Jurgis Rudkus and his family, Lithuanian immigrants who come to America to work in the meatpacking plants of Chicago. Their story is a story of hardship. They face enormous difficulties: harsh and dangerous working conditions, poverty and starvation, unjust businessmen who take their money, and corrupt politicians who create laws that allow all of this to happen. The story follows the hardships of Jurgis and his family and the transformation that Jurgis undergoes when he accepts the new political and economic revolution of socialism. The novel's most notable impact at the time was to provoke public outcry over passages exposing health violations and unsanitary practices in the American meat-packing industry during the early 20th century, which led to sanitation reforms including the Meat Inspection Act.

"He lived like a dumb beast of burden, knowing only the moment in which he lived."

"They use everything about the hog except the squeal"

***

“They use everything about the hog except the squeal.”

The Jungle is probably the most famous muckraking novel in American history. Its unflinching description of meatpacking plants in Chicago brought public attention to the unsanitary, inhumane conditions of the industrialized meatpacking trade, eventually leading the U.S. to adopt the Meat Inspection Act and the Pure Food and Drug Act, which created what would eventually become the Food and Drug Administration. According to Wikipedia, the author Sinclair--who was an avowed socialist--told Cosmopolitan Magaizine: "I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach."

If that's not enough to make you think of the Flesh, consider one of the book's most infamous passages:

"…and as for the other men, who worked in tank rooms full of steam, and in some of which there were open vats near the level of the floor, their peculiar trouble was that they fell into the vats; and when they were fished out, there was never enough of them left to be worth exhibiting—sometimes they would be overlooked for days, till all but the bones of them had gone out to the world as Durham’s Pure Leaf Lard!"

Industrialized, inhumane slaughter of animals: Check

Visceral recognition of the fragile embodied state of human beings: Check

Cannibalism: Check

The Jungle is the perfect example of a Flesh text.

Smith, Clark Ashton: The Garden of Adompha

King Adompha and his equally vile court magician Dwerulas rule Sotar, which is known for Adompha's royal garden, hidden from the eyes of all but himself and Dwerulas. In truth, Adompha and Dwerulas capture or execute anyone disfavored by them in Sotar in order to butcher them and have Dwerulas fuse their remains to the plants of the garden, creating half-human, half-vegetable hybrids suspended in a strange state between life and death. Adompha orders a servant girl murdered purely for her hands, ordering the rest of her body fed to the plant her hands will grow upon, and furthermore murders Dwerulas on nothing more than an impulse. Dwerulas manages to curse Adompha in retaliation, resulting in Adompha's garden turning upon him and raking him to pieces.

Link: http://www.eldritchdark.com/writings/short-stories/76/the-garden-of-adompha

Smith, Cordwainer: A Planet Named Shayol

The protagonist, Mercer, who lives within the Empire, has been convicted of "a crime that has no name". He is condemned by the Empire to the planet Shayol, where he lives in a penal colony whose inhabitants must undergo grotesque physical mutations caused by tiny symbiotes called dromozoans. Most grow extra organs, which the Empire harvests for medical purposes. The bull-man B'dikkat administers the prisoners a drug called super-condamine that alleviates the pain of their punishment and various surgeries.

More than a century passes. Mercer has found a lover, named Lady Da. B'dikkat shows the couple a sight that horrifies him: children have been sent to Shayol -- alive, though with their brains removed. Lady Da knows how to contact the Lords of the Instrumentality so that they can intervene. When the Lords arrive on Shayol, they are shocked by what they find. Moreover, the children there are heirs to the throne. Apparently, the Imperium has become so bureaucratic and corrupt that it condemned them to prevent them from committing treason when they matured.

The Instrumentality voids permission to allow the Empire to exist and to maintain Shayol. They will free the prisoners who are still sentient and provide a cure for their suffering with a substitute for the super-condamine, namely an electronic "cap" which stimulates the brain's pleasure center. The mindless prisoners will be decapitated, their heads "taken away and killed as pleasantly as we can manage, probably by an overdosage of super-condamine", leaving the bodies to be used by the dromozoa. Ultimately, Lady Da claims Mercer as her consort.

Stine, R.L.: Chicken, Chicken

"Everyone in Goshen Falls knows about weird Vanessa. She dresses all in black. Wears black lipstick. And puts spells on people. At least, that's what they say. Crystal and her brother, Cole, know you can't believe everything you hear. But that was before they made Vanessa mad. Before she whispered that strange warning, "Chicken chicken." Because now something really weird has happened. Crystal's lips have turned as hard as a bird's beak. And Cole has started growing ugly white feathers all over his body... "

-People turning into chickens!

-Detailed descriptions of how grossly biological chickens are!

 -A cliffhanger where we think the narrator's mom is going to kill and eat her!

Stine, R.L. and Stephen Roos: The Boy Who Ate Fear Street

Sam Kinney used to be a very picky eater. But after a friend’s eccentric Aunt Sylvie put a weird spice in his mac and cheese, suddenly, Sam can’t stop eating. Paste and pepper. Dishwashing soap. Even dog food. Sam has to find out what is making him eat...and eat...and eat. Before he eats his house. And all his friends on Fear Street…

Summers, Chelsea G.: A Certain Hunger

Food critic Dorothy Daniels loves what she does. Discerning, meticulous, and very, very smart, Dorothy's clear mastery of the culinary arts make it likely that she could, on any given night, whip up a more inspired dish than any one of the chefs she writes about. Dorothy loves sex as much as she loves food, and while she has struggled to find a long-term partner that can keep up with her, she makes the best of her single life, frequently traveling from Manhattan to Italy for a taste of both.

But there is something within Dorothy that's different from everyone else, and having suppressed it long enough, she starts to embrace what makes Dorothy uniquely, terrifyingly herself. Recounting her life from a seemingly idyllic farm-to-table childhood, the heights of her career, to the moment she plunges an ice pick into a man's neck on Fire Island, Dorothy Daniels show us what happens when a woman finally embraces her superiority.

Swift, Jonathan: A Modest Proposal

The famous work of satire that suggested that poor people should sell their children to be eaten by the wealthy. Some people... didn't get the joke.

Wells, H.G.: The Island of Dr. Moreau

A shipwrecked man, Edward Prendick, reaches a sinister island inhabited by notorious vivisectionist, Doctor Moreau. Prendick suspects that experiments are also being carried out on humans, resulting in hybrid forms; however, the doctor explains that he has actually been changing animals into people.

Yoshitomi, Akihito: School Ningyo (School Mermaid)

"Description from TvTropes: A horror manga / anthology series by Akihito Yoshitomi about Japanese school girls who really want boyfriends. But rather than going through the trouble of getting the attention of a boy, talking to them and just being themselves, they decide on a much quicker way to do so… By hunting mermaids in their school and eating their flesh."

Already submitted this for a hunt bracket but it works as a Flesh Leitner even better.

Spoilers: All the mermaids used to be people. They were turned into those mindless creatures meant to be eaten. If you don't eat the flesh of a mermaid during the hunt you turn into one so you have to consume flesh to avoid becoming it.