#jokes that make no sense to ANYBODY but me and sin

[ckret2]

What's your stance on Ford as a person? Honestly, I believe that for thr majority of canon he is a bad person. But I believe he grew. Still not great though XD

(Love him anyways obvs)

I disagree entirely! I think he's equally as good a person as any of the other main cast.*

*Except Mabel, who, as we all know, is always right about everything.**

(**This is a lighthearted joke. For the love of god, I don't want Mabel discourse in my inbox.)

His biggest sins in the show:

After telling his brother that he was thinking about changing their shared life plans, and then discovering that his brother had gone to the high school that night for no good reason and gone to the science fair for no good reason and messed around near Ford's science project for no good reason and broke it and didn't tell Ford about it... Ford believed Stan did it intentionally and held a grudge for it. You know what, it WOULD be pretty damn hard to believe it was an accident.

Hilariously ill-equipped to cope with Fiddleford's mental health. A guy who responds to "I have anxiety" with "have you tried yoga, it helps me" isn't a bad person, he's clueless. "Character cheerfully enacts a bad idea while a loved one in the background goes NO PLEASE DON'T DO THAT" describes half the episodes of Gravity Falls.

Was successfully manipulated by a professional manipulator into believing his best friend wished him ill. Man, what a terrible person Ford is for being manipulated by a manipulator and saying cruel things to somebody he'd been genuinely convinced was trying to harm him.

??? Didn't say thanks to a guy he was still mad at after the guy fixed a problem he himself had caused. This is a solitary example of stubborn bad etiquette, jesus christ. There's half a dozen different reasons why it makes perfect sense Ford wasn't in the right mindset to feel grateful, this is not something worth indicting his entire character over.

He had high ambitions, which everyone seems to lambast him for, but high ambitions that wouldn't have required doing anybody harm! (Until the professional manipulator started manipulating him into harming the people around him, but we are going to demonstrate some reading comprehension and not blame Ford's underlying morality as a person for things he never would've done if not for Bill's bullying, con artistry, and outright lies.) Like, what is it that he wanted to do with his life? Use his talents to get rich and famous? Shit, that's exactly what Stan wanted to do with his life. It's what Dipper fantasizes about doing with his life. Even Mabel, who thinks about her long-term future the least, dreams big with her art & performances and is already making big money off cheap-ass commissions. What terrible people they all are, for—let me check my notes here—uhhh... unrealistically fantasizing about achieving success in life by doing the things they're good at.

When their dad accuses Stan of lying as a child, Ford puts his entire summer on the line to defend Stan even though he knows Stan is a habitual liar and has no reason to believe Stan is telling the truth this time.

When his new college roommate he barely even knows gets laughed at for proposing an outlandish scientific theory, his first emotion is outrage at this injustice and he drops everything to convince his already-despondent roommate that he was right and help him prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

When he moves to a new town, he tries again and again to befriend his new neighbors, and fails not because he's rude or a jerk, but because he's awkward as hell, tells terrible jokes, and sucks at identifying phoenixes.

When Fiddleford gets hurt around him, he cares about it, feels guilty about putting him in that position, doesn't want it to happen again, and tries his best to help even though he's bad at helping.

When he gets kidnapped by a weird holiday folklore creature, he concludes without even thinking about it that he's now in charge of protecting and rescuing the kidnapped kids. Yeah, then he immediately starts hollering at the folklore creature for trying to impose his religious beliefs on Ford and the kids—but like, Ford was right tho, he just had bad timing.

When he discovers that the Northwest family committed atrocities against their poorer neighbors a century ago, his first instinct is to march up to their house, find the first Northwest he can locate, and give them a piece of his mind for it. Like, this won't even FIX anything. He's just THAT OUTRAGED over the injustice.

When he sees what he thinks is a fortune telling fraud conning the people, he attempts to debunk her because he's mad to see someone cheating other people with lies—and when he can't debunk her, he just leaves her alone rather than harass her about it. Typically, if assholes think somebody's doing something wrong but don't have any proof of it and fail to get proof when they look, they decide they're right anyway and keep giving that person shit. Ford doesn't give her shit. That's the opposite of an asshole move.

When he discovers his Portal To Knowledge (And Fame & Fortune) is actually a Portal To Doom (But Still Possibly Fame & Fortune, Maybe Even Godly Power), he isn't tempted for a second to keep working on it anyway. There is no moment where Bill manages to tempt him. No matter what Bill offers, no matter how long Bill offers, never, at ANY point, does Ford have a SECOND of "but what if I did make a deal with the devil?" the way so many heroes in similar situations often do.

You ever notice that? So often moral moments in the show are presented as choices the characters make. Will or won't Dipper give Bill a "puppet" in exchange for knowledge. Will or won't Stan fight a pterodactyl to protect Mabel's pig. Will or won't Mabel hand Bipper the journal. Ford is never given a "will or won't he" moment over Bill's threats, offers of friendship, or offers of infinite power—he steamrolls straight past them without a second of consideration—because, to him, the selfish, cowardly, easy choice ISN'T EVEN AN OPTION. He doesn't even SEE it as making a choice because the possibility of doing the wrong thing is invisible. A character who wavers first before turning Bill down would look more noble for "overcoming" temptation—it's harder to notice just how much stronger Ford's moral compass must be to not even feel temptation in the first place.

Greed and pride never tempt him to join Bill's side. Exhaustion, despair, and fear never tempt him to give up. He bears up under weeks, possibly months of extreme sleep deprivation, physical torture, psychological torture, emotional torture, threats of death, threats of brainwashing, threats to his family. He doesn't hold up so that he can pat himself on the back for being a hero—if that was all it was he would've gone "screw it, this isn't worth it and nobody would know I'm the one who gave up" a week in—he does it because he simply knows it must be done and because he's so isolated (half because of Bill's influence!) that he believes he's the one who must do it, all alone.

Thinking he has to do it by himself isn't egotism or pride; it's helplessness. He thinks no one else stands a chance. He thinks he's alone.

And, when he discovers his Portal To Knowledge is a Portal To Doom, he immediately feels guilty. No trying to deny the situation to protect his ego. No shuffling the blame off to someone else. No "maybe the apocalypse could have a silver lining!" No locking the door and trying to ignore the problem. He blames himself for being fooled—he IMMEDIATELY takes full responsibility for his actions—and he CONTINUES to take responsibility FOR THE NEXT THIRTY YEARS.

He takes more responsibility than is even warranted—he treats himself like he's an idiot for believing in an APPARENT GOD who's been practicing manipulating humans for thousands of years and who had never given Ford reason to believe the portal was anything but what Bill said it was. He beats himself up to no end every single time his past with Bill comes up. He even keeps beating himself up thirty years later when he's shoving warning notes to future readers in Bill's evil unkillable book!

When he falls into the multiverse, he dedicates his entire life NOT to finding a way to rescue himself, but to finding a way to permanently stop the CHAOS GOD who's still at the threshold of destroying Ford's world and countless others. He makes himself a hated criminal in the process, just to stop Bill. He's ready to spend the rest of his life trying to protect a world he doesn't think he'll ever see again. He does it because, as he sees it, somebody has to stand in between the children and the obnoxious folklore cryptid menacing them, and he's the only adult in this damn cave with the skills and knowledge for the job.

When he gets home, he doesn't tell his family about Bill and his quest because he's afraid that doing so will get them involved and endanger them too—and because he's too deeply ashamed of himself and his mistakes to stand the thought of his family knowing about the horrible things he's done (AGAIN, WHILE BEING MANIPULATED BY THE GOD OF MANIPULATION).

He loves his great-niece and great-nephew the second he lays eyes on them; he nevertheless tries to steer away from them to keep them safe from Bill; and yet he caves to the very first temptation to emotionally bond with his great-nephew he gets, because in spite of his noble "keep them safe" intentions, he wants so so badly to be close to his family.

As pissed as he still is at Stan and even though neither of them can look at each other without hissing like cats, he still makes an attempt to start bridging their divide by inviting him to play DD&MD.

When the apocalypse happens, he immediately puts his life on the line to try to kill Bill.

And when he's captured, isn't fazed for a second by Bill's offers or threats... until his family is threatened. The exact thing he'd been trying to avoid & prevent from the very start.

And when he's reunited with Fiddleford, his immediate reaction is to point out that Fiddleford's well within his rights to hate him—which isn't a new revelation, it's not like Ford had to do any soul-searching to reach this conclusion, he'd concluded that 30 years ago the instant he realized Bill had played him and that he'd been lied to about Fiddleford.

And then he tries to kill Bill again.

And then he's ready to sacrifice his own life to kill Bill—and the only reason he doesn't is because he has a metal plate preventing him from making the sacrifice... but, Stan doesn't have a plate. If Ford hadn't had the metal plate, he would have gladly done the exact same thing Stan did—and he would have thought it was right for him and only him to make that sacrifice, because it's VERY clear he feels (and has felt from the start) that this is all his fault and he's obligated to fix it.

Over and over and over, these are Ford's two defining character traits: getting so pissed off at injustice that his common sense shuts off and he goes into terminator mode until he's righted this wrong as best he can, even when he can't actually do anything about it; and feeling like he's Atlas, weighed down with the full responsibility of fixing everything he's done wrong and made to believe that, for everyone else's sake, he has to do it all alone. Even when doing so puts himself in harm's way, even when he has to put his entire life on hold for it, even if it might cost him his life. Scrape off his awkward social skills, his loneliness, his nerdiness, his endless curiosity, his zealous love of the strange, his starry ambitions, his yearning for recognition and success—scrape his personality down to the bone and that's what you're left with. A man who believes in defending the exploited so strongly that it makes him a little stupid.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you probably don't think Stan's fundamentally a bad person, and that you probably think that isn't even worth questioning. Stan's made a whole career out of swindling people, conning them out of as much money as he possibly can, stealing, lying, committing a long list of goofily-named crimes, and attempting douchy pick-up artistry on women; and to cap it all off, he held the safety of the entire universe hostage to demand a goddamn "thank you." Don't send me any "But he had reasons—" "But it was only to—" I don't need it, I don't want the essay, I'm not arguing that Stan's a bad guy, it's fine.

But. You can look at Stan's moments of cruelty and unkindness, his uncharitable thoughts, his character flaws, and think, "that doesn't define him. He's more than his cruelest moments and worst mistakes. He's imperfect, but he cares so much and his heart's in the right place, and beneath all the flaws his core is good."

And if you can't do the same for Ford, it's not because he's a worse person. It's because we got two seasons with Stan and five and a half episodes with Ford—and while we saw Stan yearning to fish with the kids or encouraging Mabel to whoop Pacifica's butt at minigolf or crying over a black and white period drama or punching zombies to save his family, we only saw Ford at the worst moments in his life and under the stress of a prolonged apocalyptic crisis—and, it so happens, all the moments he was pissed at the guy we spent two seasons learning to love.

Ford's got moments of cruelty and unkindness, uncharitable thoughts, and character flaws. But, at his core, he's a good person, and he always has been, and he still is.

[koolades-world]

Obey me! brothers and their secondary sin w/ sin swap

Ok hear me out. Each of the brothers has their primary sin, obviously. It’s what caught my attention to the game in the first place. After all, dating the avatars of the seven deadly sins is pretty eye catching

However, after playing the game for about a year now and really digging into the lore of the brothers, I can’t help but notice some patterns. At the beginning of the game, I actually kept thinking Levi was the avatar of greed from the way he behaved.

As I was writing it, it made less and less sense to me and sounded more stupid but hopefully y'all think it makes sense

Lucifer’s second sin is lust.

Half a joke, but have you seen this man?? He oozes sex appeal. Makes you wonder just how many demons or people have thrown themselves at him just for him to push them all away. Who wouldn't want to date him? He could have anybody, he just needed to say the word. He claims he has no desires, but he just hides them away very well, as shown by the hellfire newt syrup incident. All he needs is to be a little more free and a little less afraid of word getting out. Asmo probably claims it takes years off his face lol

Would still be very diligent and do his duties, but half the time that door is locked, he's probably getting it on

Not sure if it would be the same person or people, or different people, just depends on him

Overall, I think he would be able the same. Lucifer is Lucifer after all

Mammon’s second sin is envy.

Mammon loves his money, but greed and envy are usually a package deal. It's difficult for me to explain, but someone who is greedy is usually envious and vice versa. Greed and envy run close together since Mammon gets out more, envy would have a larger impact on his life. Not to say that Levi isn’t jealous, but it’s easier to not get envious when you’re not in you’re room all day, every day.

Not much change. Would definitely get matching jewelry with Mc, with his name on it if possible if they didn’t already

Not that he liked sharing before, but he won't budge for anyone now

Don’t even think about touching Mc, like don’t even look at them

Levi’s second sin is greed.

Like I said before, I actually though Levi was greed at first. I learnt pretty quickly who was who after a week or so of playing. Levi is envious and does not want to share Mc, which is greed. I’m starting to think Mammon and Levi argue so much because they’re so similar.

Overall, not much would change, like Mammon

Would be less inclined to share, which does extend to Mc to an extent

Definitely finds ways to keep Mc with him “accidentally”

Satan’s second sin is gluttony.

This was actually the easiest for me to match. He’s not hungry per say, but he’s hungry for knowledge. He reads lots of fiction books, be he also reads lists of nonfiction books. The amount of stuff he must know is insane. His brothers are smart too, but what sets them apart is that he is always actively seeking it out. He is always seen with a book in hand, so he’s always learning something. On top of that, there’s also school so he’s learning there too. Part of me thinks he wants to learn so much is to learn more about himself and to be better/more knowledgeable than Lucifer

Despite me saying it was the easiest to match Satan to gluttony it’s also the hardest for me to imagine him as a traditional gluttony demon

Probably uses this to his advantage in a way to read more, since he’s always reading while eating and now they can’t stop him because then he’ll go on a rampage

Probably still just as clean and tidy as before, so absolutely no food in his room. Midnight stacks stay in the kitchen

Probably also sees this as a bit of a break. Like he can just walk around without getting mad at how that demon’s face looks

Asmo’s second sin is sloth. I almost gave him both wrath and pride, but eventually settled for sloth. He’s never actually blown up in game and hasn’t tried to kill Mc (I think) but the things he’s says sometimes are incredibly threatening and are scarier coming from him than from Satan. Like that one time he was like “if you ever lie to me again I’m going to rip out your heart out to see if your heart is telling the truth” and he was giving this dead serious scary look I nearly shit myself. He’s also incredibly vane and will kill anyone who disagrees, which means he’s very prideful. It’s a different kind of pride than Lucifer, but it is pride nonetheless. I gave him sloth in the end because he's perfectly content with letting everything come to him. He likes partying, yes, and he has his skincare routine while Belphie does not, but Belphie is sloth to the most extreme. If he was allowed, he would probably have people do everything for him.

If Asmo was a sloth demon, he would have people do everything for him. Dress him, do his makeup, feed him

He would still dress cute, and love partying but all the parties would have to come to him

Online shopping would become his best friend

He would probably love devilgram more since it’s convenient and easy

Beel’s second sin is pride.

While he doesn't care much what other people say about him, he cares very much about his family. A single wrong word about any of his brothers, or god forbid, his sister, you are guaranteed to go flying through the nearest wall. His family is the thing most important to him. He's proud of them and everything they've done, and is very supportive. Lucifer is the same way and they both display it in a quiet way. I don't know if there's a word for being prideful on the behalf of others.

Expect him to be much more possessive

He's the same but this man will not take shit anymore

Someone looks at you wrong? sorry babe it's other side of hell for them. Someone making fun of you (why they would do that when you know the brothers is a death wish)? You’ll never see them again unless you find their head on the RAD flagpole

Belphie’s second sin is wrath.

This demon has major issues. Ever since the fall, he's been mad. Mad mostly at humanity, probably a little bit at himself. All he has wanted to do is get revenge on humanity for what they did to his sister. He might seem like a cute, sleepy demon, but there's so much boiling under the surface. He literally strangled Mc, for crying out loud. Just because he likes Mc doesn't mean he likes other humans or has forgiven humanity as a matter of fact. Only second to Satan since he was literally born of rage

I imagine Belphie almost as normal but a lot more irritable. If you are not Beel, do not wake him up from a nap and expect him to be happy

I feel as if pranks towards Lucifer are a way to channel his rage so either they would ramp up times one hundred or disappear altogether because he would be bullying Lucifer in other ways LOL

His grades would probably become even better than Satan’s and Lucifer’s since Satan and Lucifer actually try and Belphie can do the same without effort. Without sleeping 24/7 he would have more time to put in more effort

I want to write a longer fic about the brothers with these swapped sins and/or take a deeper dive into how each brother does or doesn't display each sin since I love character analysis :)

I think it would also be interesting just to break down what it is to be a demon of a certain sin, not just the brothers specifically

[lipstickchainsaw]

I am curious if you saw my tags on my reply, saying that many actual Christians, such as yourself, obviously disagree with one of the premises of that argument, which naturally makes the conclusion invalid.

Similarly, the reason you shouldn't consider me an advocate for mass murder is the fact that the entire argument is a reductio ad absurdium to make a joke, instead of a sincerely held belief.

That joke was poking at the way infinite reward and infinite punishment screw with any incentive structure to lead to the repugnant conclusion you ascribe to utilitarianism in general, rather than an all-powerful deity putting their thumb on the scale.

As for that last bullet list:

Utilitarianism is fake and bad in general and there is arguably no such thing as utility.

There are different utilitarianisms just as there are different deontologies (and presumably different virtue ethices, but who cares about virtue ethics?), but by and large, they work by setting a goal, and then seeing what gets you there. The goal I would set, for a moral/ethical framework, is 'minimising suffering/maximising happiness'. Obviously, this is a flawed summary, and there are whole books written about the nuances involved here, but that is the gist of my approach.

And I think it generally beats out any 'follow these rules because an authority said so' system on the basis of not being dependent on whatever that jackass comes up with (like telling his favourite people to exterminate another people, for example).

God can act independently so as to invalidate any such scheme.

God could act independently to make sure nobody suffers to start with, if we're ascribing infinite power and agency to such a being. If you're going to resort to this anyway I don't see why moral quandaries are an issue for you, since the entire system is ad hoc and God is free to go back on any rules he sets at any point, making the whole thing a crapshoot.

Obviously doing this is a mortal sin and will lead to anybody who does it and many people who fail to stop it going to Hell.

But if it were to save more souls for Heaven, would that not be worth it? Is it not selfish in the extreme to care about your own possible entry into Heaven at the cost of potentially condemning others to Hell? Presumably, this is why you had to pull in the 'many people who fail to stop it', in order to balance the scales and not have to bite the bullet, which is nonsense. In this scenario, you could send many innocent souls to Heaven well before anyone could figure out enough of it to stop you, and it's only your soul sent to Hell.

A worthy sacrifice, no?

Obviously, this is facetious, because I believe in neither souls nor Heaven and Hell, or your deity besides. This isn't a moral quandary I need to wrestle with, and it wasn't one I thought any Christian really needed to wrestle with, either, but here you are, wrestling with it and losing.

Babies are not sinless.

Because out of all the premises you could've disagreed with, you picked this one.

Now, I don't believe 'sin' exists, as a metaphysical condemnation of immoral actions (although its more colloquial use is something I'll catch myself participating in, as well), so, again, this is not something I need to wrestle with, but I am fascinated by what this means in your framework.

What sins did babies commit that would see them condemned to hell instead of heaven if they died? Do the stillborn go to hell? Do those who died after struggling to breathe for weeks?

Is there any answer to these questions that doesn't make the arbiter of this system an evil bastard?

There still exist some people with moral sense in the world.

Sure, and you are clearly not one of them.

[memryse]

love it when people make crossovers between their two main interests but god that cannot be me because i think about a LL idol AU and shrivel up and die inside. all i can do is think about BEST as a ryuseitai-style unit and then i start laughing so hard that i cry

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

do you think the jedi prohibit 'frivolous uses of the force'?? because i see it a lot in fic but i swear i distinctly remember obi-wan using the force to pull a literal chair over lmfao

Yoooo, I've been wanting to write a post about that for like a week xD Okay, so here's the thing: I started answering this one, confident that I knew where the use of the word 'frivolous' came from - but it turned out that I was wrong, so I'm actually a bit baffled about its origin. But here goes:

(@cacodaemonia I know you were interested in this topic?)

No, I don't think the Jedi prohibit that. I don't think the Jedi even have 'frivolous' use of the Force as a concept. The idea that they prohibit it, or at least frown upon it, is very likely rooted in the AotC scene of Anakin levitating a piece of fruit.

Wookieepedia cites that scene and that scene only on the topic of frivolousness in the page on Telekinesis.

But the word frivolous isn't used in that scene! Who came up with it? Obi-Wan being grumpy about Anakin levitating the fruit could mean just about anything. Maybe Jedi frown upon showing off in front of a diplomat you're meant to be protecting in a professional way. Maybe Obi-Wan and only Obi-Wan disapproves of Anakin levitating stuff because he kept doing it around the apartment as a kid, just to be a little shit. Maybe Jedi frown upon playing with your food with the Force, which wouldn't necessarily be linked with it being 'frivolous' but just with 'don't be gross.'

Now I thought it came from the novelization using that specific word, but it doesn't! The novelization is based on the original script as opposed to the dialogue in the movie (it actually came out before the movie, so that's why) and the scene is longer in them both and seems to confirm what I said about how it could mean a lot of other things (because he isn't just levitating it originally, he's playing with it):

(novelization)

PADME: You did that? [ANAKIN looks up - wide-eyed innocence.] ANAKIN: What? [PADME scowls at him. PADME jabs at the fruit - ANAKIN subtly moves his hand and it lifts up from the plate and hovers in front of her.] PADME: That! Now stop it! [PADME laughs. ANAKIN laughs. She reaches out for the fruit - it loops.] PADME (continuing): Anakin!! [ANAKIN moves his fingers. The fruit flies into his hand.] ANAKIN: I'm not really supposed to do that... for fun, I mean. If Master Obi-Wan were here, he'd be very grumpy. [ANAKIN is pleased. He cuts the fruint (sic) into several pieces and sends one back to PADME. She bites it out of the air and laughs.]

(script)

Even taking Anakin at face value, this does not say there is an Order-wide ban on 'frivolous' uses of the Force. Again, maybe Force-assisted food shenanigans are frowned upon. Maybe Anakin isn't supposed to mess with people with the Force for fun. Maybe it's just Anakin assuming, as he sometimes does.

I think 'frivolous' might come from one of the EU books - it's not from No Prisoners (the Karen Travis TCW book) though, so I have no idea who might have used it in that context first??

Anyway, the issue in fic is that 'frivolous' is often confused with 'casual.' Hence the Obi-Wan thing imo.

One, 'frivolous' is judgy - it gives it a sense of sin, something that the Jedi... don't seem to have that much of a concept of? Dressing 'immodestly' isn't condemned, for example. I don't see the Order as a whole (there are sticks in the mud everywhere) having a thing against a concept as vague as 'frivolousness.' I mean... Yoda? His whole idea of fun is to mess with people and cackle, and his teaching methods include massive trolling, teasing the grown-up Masters with his gaggle of kiddos and whatnot. You cannot tell me Yoda never tugged on somebody's cloak to make them trip.

Two, frivolous and casual aren't the same thing. Obi-Wan pulling the chair falls into the casual use category imo - and yes, we do see him and others do this kind of casual stuff many times! (Off the top of my head: Obi-Wan grabs the map-ball thingy from the map-reader in AotC - in front of younglings, so there's no fear of a bad example being set - Yoda calls his stick to his hand in AotC, Obi-Wan pulls a chair in TCW s2, Jedi call their lightsabers to them all the time - though it's usually in combat settings, so it doesn't necessarily count, Obi-Wan closes a door in AotC - I think Ewan was the one who thought it'd be neat to do it? Idk...)

And I don't agree that "it goes to show their hypocrisy" or whatever. What, because we assume that's what Anakin meant in the AotC scene and because we assume it's 100% an Order-wide thing, and we assume that the Jedi would view using the Force for daily tasks as frivolous, then every single instance of Jedi using the Force for simple every day stuff is hypocritical?! Even though floating freaking fruit around somebody's head and pulling up a chair are absolutely not the same thing? The latter is something you would do no matter whether you use the Force or not - pulling a chair is a normal thing to do. Playing with fruit around someone is a rude thing to do. There's a difference whether or not 'frivolous' stuff is frowned upon.

And also, using the Force is a natural thing. The Jedi do it like they breathe - it's all around them and they're aware of it constantly, and it's not always something they can turn on or off. It's natural that they would use it for daily stuff, and the level of respect that comes attached with using it would necessarily vary from one Jedi to the other. Just look at Quinlan. What, jumping out of a gunship to make an entrance isn't frivolous? Well, Quinlan is a Master, so his views on it are just as valid - just as Jedi - as anybody else's. (Plus Obi-Wan - the Council Member - gives him grief for being late, not for just for being ridiculous, so again - rudeness.)

I can see some Masters being against using the Force with carelessness - and yeah, I can also see some Masters being against using it in a 'fun' way - because you have to be careful with that stuff, but it probably would generate debate. There wouldn't be a definite consensus on what is too much and what isn't.

If "the Jedi all frown upon casually using the Force" is something that Lucas intended to convey in the movie, please correct me and give me a source.

Though it is also entirely possible that Obi-Wan was meant to be a bit hypocritical about it - because he and Anakin have their tensions, and as somewhat of a parental figure it's only natural that he would scold Anakin for stuff that isn't that big of deal, or that he himself has done, because that's what every person who's ever been in charge of a younger person has done at some point. So sure, maybe Obi-Wan scolded Anakin for being too casual with the Force? But I still don't see it as a Big Rule that is in the Jedi Code That Must Not Be Violated and that get you Shamed and Shunned if you dare to have fun with the Force.

(Honestly, it reminds me of 'your Lightsaber is your Life' thing, and Ahsoka and Anakin both separately whining that their Master was going to kill them for losing/breaking theirs. There's a certain level or respect and care expected, the Masters (or... only Obi-Wan and Anakin, lol) nag a bit, aren't always careful enough themselves, the kids make a big deal out of it in front of other people, but ultimately there are zero repercussion whatsoever for actually failing to follow the Master's nagging. Like, Jocasta tells Ahsoka Anakin would totally understand, and it's Ahsoka who insists he wouldn't and makes it into a big thing.)

Again, having Masters tell their students to be respectful of the Force and not to treat it like a joke? Sure. Showing off with the Force in a rude manner being called 'frivolous,' and it being a bad thing? I could see it. Having Masters get pissy about pulling chairs, closing doors or whatever - about doing things you can do with your hands with the Force instead? Maybe, but it wouldn't be an Order-wide thing.

One thing's for certain, we never see a Master directly scolding a student for using the Force casually in the Prequels, the OT or TCW, much less calling it 'frivolous.'

So yeah, gimme Jedi levitating stuff to clean up under the furniture xD

[twistedtummies2]

The Devils I Know - Number 4

Welcome to “The Devils I Know!” For this spooky time of year, from now till Halloween, I’ll be counting down My Top 31 Depictions of the Devil, from movies, television, video games, and more! The end of the countdown draws ever nearer. Today’s Devil proves you can’t judge a fallen angel by his cover. Number 4 is…Tom Ellis, from Lucifer.

Earlier in the list, I discussed two different DC screen versions of Lucifer: Peter Stormare in “Constantine,” and Gwendolyn Christie from “Sandman.” As I said with both of them earlier, I don’t really know much about DC’s Lucifer in the comics, so I have no idea how well either of them portray the character as depicted in said comics. However, sandwiched between both of those versions is a show that, at first, I honestly didn’t even realize WAS based on the DC version. Once I did, naturally, that only made things all the more intriguing. That version is the one played by Tom Ellis in the TV series simply and aptly called “Lucifer.”

“Lucifer,” the show, is a supernatural crime/mystery series, somewhat similar to shows like “Sleepy Hollow” or “Supernatural.” The plot focuses on Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil himself – played by Tom Ellis – who has basically decided to leave Hell and is sticking around on Earth. A chance encounter with a police detective, Chloe Decker, leads to Lucifer becoming the resident Sherlock Holmes of the local police department: a special consulting detective, whom they call on for particularly odd or difficult cases. From that point on, Lucifer embarks on many adventures, helping Chloe and her team solve mortal crimes, while at the same time dealing with “family matters” of the divine and cosmic. Within the same episode, he may face a human serial killer and an angry angel or rogue demon. The show, itself, is just a masterwork. These kinds of series tend to be hit or miss for me, and I’m not sure why. But Lucifer hits a good balance in its tone, style, and storytelling that I really love. A big part of what makes the show work, as you might expect, is Tom Ellis as Lucifer himself. Ellis’ Devil is NOT a villain protagonist, as you might expect, but rather a misunderstood anti-hero. While Lucifer is certainly not the greatest guy in the world – he has an ego the size of the Sun (fitting for a man named “Morningstar,” I suppose), and lives for the present with all of its deadly sins and vices – a constant running theme in the show is that he is NOT an evil man. He simply gets a bad rap because of the mixture of who he is and the job he’s been forced to do. His duty is to PUNISH evil, and make no mistake, he takes intense delight out of doing so; he can be quite sadistic and he feels genuine rage at the follies of man and how often they blame him for their own mistakes. But he is not evil himself; he doesn’t tempt humans to destruction, he doesn’t lead them on with false promises. Even when it comes to good ol’ fashioned Faustian pacts, he makes it clear that it’s all the person’s choice and he never gives them less or more than they demanded. As the show goes on, Lucifer becomes an increasingly rich character. From his relationships with the other characters in the series to the way his personal life develops as he deals with increasingly more challenging issues, both in the mortal and celestial realms, he continues to grow and shift, all while keeping basic ideals close to the heart. Among them is his sense of humor: Lucifer is HILARIOUS, both the show and the character. A big part of the humor for the Devil himself comes from the fact that…well…as he, himself, many times points out, he NEVER tries to hide the fact he’s the Devil. At all. He doesn’t change his name, he doesn’t do anything to pretend he’s anything but what he was, he’s ALWAYS making it clear that’s who he is. Which makes it kind of hilarious whenever anybody realizes he’s not joking and he’s not crazy, he’s totally serious. It leads to drama, too, but for me it mostly makes me laugh how they always react with, “OMG, you’re ACTUALLY Satan?!” and what else can he say but, “I’VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT ALL THIS TIME!” Of course, much of what makes all this great goes to Ellis as a performer. He captures every moment perfectly, from Lucifer’s more zany, eccentric, whimsical moments – I feel like this is what you’d get if The Master from Doctor Who had their own show – to the points where his inner vulnerability shows, to even the scenes where he has to remind people, “I’m the literal Devil, DON’T F*CK WITH ME.” Whether he’s being charming, frightening, or downright hilarious, he definitely creates one of the greatest Devils in TV history, if not THE greatest of the same. I actually feel kind of bad for leaving him out of the Top 3…but hopefully those three above him will not greatly disappoint.

Tomorrow, we enter the Top 3! HINT: Don’t clown around with this Devil!

[irgmugurg]

Natural with You- Asmodeus

There is a certain beauty to their ebony horns and darkened wings. Something so intimate about the side you rarely see. But now, right now it’s just yours…

And you couldn’t be happier.

...

Each chapter is an exploration of relationships, demon forms, and emotions. 

Belphegor

naturally beautiful in your arms

Warnings: use of the word wh*re and sensitive subjects along with a lot of angst/crying

Word Count: 1,132

You brush your fingers against the soft silk of Asmo’s loose shirt. Soft and tender kisses into the crown of his head. The ebony keratin rests softly against your collarbones, you curve your fingers against the hills and valleys of his horns. His wings curl around his crescent body. The soft tufts of hair soft against your forearms.  

You can’t see it (The darkness swallows you both whole, the curtains pulled tightly shut. It doesn’t stop the moon’s light from shining bright. Opaque and crystalline.) but you know he’s crying. The light reflects ever so lightly against tracks that flow down his soft cheeks.  

He cries and he knows it’s ugly. The snot and his puffy red eyes. It’s everything he knows he’s not supposed to be. Brash and embarrassing and quiet and sad. He’d hope that you'd never see him like this. See how ugly he really is. See that all the work he does to look so pretty always, in the end, amounts to nothing.  

You press your fingers against his neck, twirling your fingers in the locks there ( How can you make him feel so beautiful like this? ).  

He tries to play it off. He doesn’t know who he’s kidding, you can hear his sniffles and sobs, the gasps of air as he tries to push it all down. His emotions, his cries, all the ugly feelings inside.  

“...You don’t have to pretend like you don’t feel pain. Like you don’t feel insecure. It makes you...human. It makes you...you. And I love you for that, your brothers love you for that.” He stops, frozen. ���And it’s okay to not love yourself for that. But know that those qualities don’t make you unlovable.” You press another soft kiss into his hairline. “You are loveable for your passion, for your kindness, and generosity.” Another kiss, another loving gaze.  

It’s simple, oh so simple, but he breaks down all over again.  

He lets his cries fill the empty space around the both of you. He cries and cries and he doesn’t think of what they might think. He only thinks of your skin against his. Your warmth and love.  

He clings to you, horns pressed against your cheeks and wings pulling you impossibly close. Everything about him is so soft. So light.  

“I remember...” He sniffles. “Wh-when I was up in the celestial realm. I loved it, the attention, the love...I thought I had been made for it. It was a stupid, prideful thought. So, when I fell and arrived here, I couldn’t help being disgusted with myself. The jewel of the heavens becoming the Avatar of lust? Utterly depraved.” You can feel the fear in his voice, the vulnerability. “I threw myself into making myself pretty. Into making myself that same jewel that shined so brightly. Then the lust came. It took me in waves. Body after body after body. I felt like I wasn’t me anymore.” He looks up at you, fear reflecting in his eyes. “Like I was only lust. That’s all anybody really saw me as. No matter how much makeup and hair product I was just a whore to them.”  

He looks so small here in your arms. Curled so tightly on himself, as if he’s afraid one look at him and he’ll come crumbling down. One badly placed touch and he’ll submit to his sin.  

“When you came...and my powers didn’t work on you...I was so-” He sobs harder, body racked with sobs. “So  fucking  happy. I hid it with my own pride but I was so happy. Happy that somebody would maybe see me as something... more. Then...then I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you. Maybe I wasn’t pretty enough, wasn’t thin enough. And each and every time I flirted with you, every time I threw myself at your feet, I hated myself for it. I kept thinking it was only a matter of time before you saw me the same way everyone else did. But...you never did. And I’m so thankful for that.  

It’s the first time he’s spoken these words out loud. Other than drunken mumbles and into the skin of another (often ignored for their own passion, their own lusts).  Speaking the words into existence hurt. They burn his skin and settle into his heart.  

But still. He’s glad. Glad he has you. Glad for his brothers.  

“I... It’s still me, though.” Asmodeus mumble, hiding in your shirt. “I... I love to flirt with you. I love to make you blush. I love to touch you. Just... even with my sin, there will always be a part of it that’s me.”

He’s scared. So scared that this is where you finally grow tired of him, disgusted with him.  

“Can... can you still love me like that? For that?”  

You trace soft words into his skin. He waits with bated breath.  

“Asmo...Of course, my love. I love you for every little thing that makes up your heart and soul. Your flirtations, your smiles, your jokes, your touches. It’s all you and I love that. You’re not lust to me; you’re love and passion and so much more.”

He doesn’t sniffle and sob but he looks up at you with golden, peach tinted eyes as tears drip down his cheeks. He truly is the jewel of the Devildom.

“You’re my lover. My friend. My confidant. Mine in every sense of the world as I am in turn for you.”

You press a kiss against his chapped lips, soft and secure. And...he still feels ugly. He still feels wrong to not be pretty but it feels right with you. Within your arms, he feels like he must be the most beautiful creature in the world. And this time he believes that he is beautiful.  

A distant feeling that he only remembers from the celestial realm.

He continues. Telling you stories and emotions dragging into the early morning. Until the soft chirping of crows and the devildom nightlife fills the air. He’s tired, oh so tired but he doesn’t want to miss a single moment with you.

Gradually his eyes fall close, fluttering shut and you kiss his eyelids with a light-hearted giggle.  

He dreams of you. Lying in his oldest, most comfortable and raggedy clothes, pints of ice cream litter his bed as the TV plays silent black and white films (the form of self-love he never allows himself to have). He dreams you hold him tightly,  in his true form  (garbled and ugly, the form that never sees the light of day) and you love him, so fully and holy. He dreams that you love him, inside and out.  

And you do.  

[tsukishumai]

When you find out what their kink is - Haikyuu Captains

Hohoho. This is my first time trying to write anything like this, so I’m sorry if it’s bad 

Let’s get into it 😏

Slight NSFW

Kuroo

The day you found out about this man’s bondage kink was a beautiful day, indeed.

He had been having a stressful time at work, and you wanted to do whatever you could to make him feel better.

So one day, you waited for him to get home from work dressed in lacy red lingerie, nylon red thigh highs attached to a garter belt around your waist, the whole pretty number wrapped up in a silk red robe

To say he was surprised was an understatement, and the satisfaction you felt from seeing his face gave you so much confidence, you honestly thought you would have control of this night.

But Kuroo had other plans

It started off as it always did - with soft wet kisses placed on your skin, mapping out all the places that made you feel so high

You almost didn’t notice when he grabbed both of your wrists with one hand, pinning them down while he unbuckled his belt.

“I want you to stay...” he lifted your wrists above you, “...right...” you felt the soft brown leather loop around your skin before kuroo secured it against his headboard, “...there.”

Kuroo didn’t stop there. His mouth moved further down your body, the sudden introduction of heat making you feel so cold once it left you just as quickly, goosebumps raising on your flesh

In one swift movement, he grabbed the red sash of your robe and used it to tie your left ankle to one corner of his bed post, and in another flash, his tie that you swore was around his neck just a second ago, was anchoring your right ankle to the other corner.

All of a sudden you couldn’t move, unable to do anything but stare at Kuroo as he roved over your splayed out body with hungry eyes.

“K-Kuroo?”

“You look so fucking beautiful spread out for me like that, Kitten.”

You didn’t even know the man owned a vibrator, but he definitely knew how to use it to make you scream for his cock.

Bokuto 

Bokuto was a man that was eager to please

You mentioned once that you wanted to try a new restaurant? He’s taking you there on your next date night. Oh, you’ve always thought that plushies were cute? Great, here, he bought you twenty.

He just wants to know that what he’s doing is making you happy, making you feel good

He wants to know it even more in the bedroom.

Were you even surprised when you found out he had a praise kink?

You had never met a man that was such a dom, but needed constant reassurance? But knowing Bokuto it almost? Makes? Sense?

Your favorite, as bad as it is for you to admit it, is when he gets jealous

Atsumu is a flirt - he knows this, you know this, Bokuto know this - so much so, that even a simple sentence, when coming out of his mouth, sounds like a pick up line

It really shouldn’t bother Bokuto when you laugh at his jokes, and he shouldn’t get so upset when Atsumu thinks he has the right to put his dirty fucking paws on the small of your back like they belong there, and if he doesn’t move it in the next second, then MSBY is gonna have to find a new sett - 

Bokuto is pulled back to reality when he hears you moan out that no one can ever stuff your tight pussy as well he could

“You’re so fucking good baby,” you’ll mewl out, and he’ll pound into you harder just to see those pretty eyes cross. “Oh, fuuuuuck, thank you for - ahh - giving me this cock!”

“You think you deserve this,” he’ll tease, slowing down his rhythm, feeling his cock twitch while you squirmed under him, “After the way you acted today, you little slut?”

He watches you shake your head, and you tried to thank him again, tried to tell him that his cock was a blessing, that you needed it the way your lungs needed air, but he was fucking you way too stupid to form proper sentences

Daichi

You knew this man had a daddy kink the moment you met him. You just knew it!

If you could call anybody a man, it was Sawamura fucking Daichi

His friends saw him as a straight laced, no nonsense kind of man, and honestly, that really is exactly the kind of man Daichi is

Most of the time

You loved the way he would always have a hand at the small of your back, how you knew he always had an eye on you, how if any of his friends got too close to you, he would squeeze your waist to remind you just who you belong to

“Tell me,” he’ll say with hand on the back of your head, pressing your face down into his mattress while moving your ass up higher, “Who the fuck owns this pussy?”

“You do, daddy,” you’ll try to move, but his grip is too strong.

“That’s it,” his whisper makes chills run down your spine, “Take it for me, baby girl.”

And when he suddenly thrusts his fat dick into you, you couldn’t stop the sob the ripped from your throat

“Yes, daddy,” you’ll scream, Daichi relentlessly pumping into you

“Are you gonna cum on daddy’s dick, like a good girl?”

Oikawa

Ever since you and Oikawa met, you can’t remember saying one single nice thing to each other

“You’re seriously eating another bowl of ramen? No matter what, it’s not gonna go to your flat ass.”

“Hey, Y/N, shut the fuck up for a second in your life, why don’t you?”

That’s why when the two of you started dating everyone was like

??????????????????

Admittedly, Oikawa can be a pretty difficult man for you to get along with. You guys were just always bickering about the smallest of things, never agreeing on anything, but for some reason, it just worked with you two.

You weren’t really all that surprised when his degradation kink came out to play

But what you were extremely surprised about was that you fucking. Loved. It.

“You look so fucking pathetic,” Oikawa would sneer at you, your legs shaking in his hands as he has them pinned down next to your head, “My dick has you a sloppy, dirty mess, huh?”

You want to say something back, but he can feel your pussy clench around his dick 

“Little fucking sluts like you don’t deserve to look at me,” he easily flipped you over to your stomach, his cock never once leaving your pussy. 

You could do nothing but scream out, a trail of saliva dribbling from the corner of your mouth onto the mattress

“That’s right baby, take my dick like the dumb whore you are. It’s the only thing you’re good at.”

Ushijima

It was an accident, really

You had only been dating Ushijima for a few months, the two of you were still getting to know each other’s body

You didn’t mean to slap him while you were riding him. It was an accident, but you couldn’t help it, the man was rearranging your guts

He froze for a second, and your hand quickly shot up to your cover your mouth

“Oh my god, Toshi, I’m so -“

“Do it again.”

He didn’t need to fucking tell you twice. You slowly started your ministrations over again, using your hips to spell your name on his dick, and when you saw his eyes begin to haze over, cloudy with lust, you reached out a hand and slapped him.

He growled and grabbed your hips, his fingers gripped you so hard, you knew it would leave marks the next day

He held you still as he thrusted his hips up into you, and you screamed, unable to move while he kept pumping

You reached down, and your fingers pinched his nipples, at first gently, but without warning you twisted them hard

You’ll never forget the look in Ushijima’s eyes as he unloaded into you, sinful sounds escaping from his usually quiet lips

Who knew Ushijima Wakatoshi would have a pain kink.

[lochnessies]

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh�� gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad). 

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace. 

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system. 

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society. 

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious. 

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic. 

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place. 

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

[the-real-tc]

Heartland Review Ep. 1504: Sins of a Father

(A very truncated version of this was posted elsewhere, as usual.)

Ep. 1504 (“Sins of a Father”) written by Alexandra Clarke picks up almost immediately after the previous episode, which saw the family rolling up to the ranch, only to find it has been broken into. Yep, they’re the latest victims of the serial break-ins happening around their neck of the woods. This was an excellent episode in many ways. It even held a few good surprises. With the exception of one particular plot point that I’ll rant about later, I really enjoyed it.

Much of the plot had to do with Jack dealing with memories stemming from his stolen watch. Yep, that gold engraved watch was taken in the break-in along with other valuables that included Tim’s prized All ‘Round Cowboy Trophy. We’re treated to several flashbacks from Jack’s perspective that include OH MY GOSH! Is that Young Jack? That’s right. Shea Johnston, Shaun Johnston’s own son, has reprised his role this episode, and was doing a fine job of it, too. Another plot point of note was Parker’s interest in tracking down the stolen items. She immediately gets the watch actually was important to Jack, despite his protests to the contrary. (Anybody get the sense she’ll soon earn the nickname “Nosey Parker”?) We also see Parker developing an Instant Crush on Logan when they meet for the first time. The third subplot gives us more development of the Logan character. Amy continues to be impressed by his horse instincts, and is therefore disappointed when she learns he’ll probably be moving away to make a fresh start when his dad is paroled. The final subplot is minor, in a sense, but it’s the only part of the episode that actually angered me on a few levels. Lou cannot find her Mayoral laptop. It could have been stolen in the break-in, or it could just be missing. Get ready for a rant, which I have not done in many long years. (Skip over these next few paragraphs if you don’t care to be subjected to it.) I’ve given lots of thought to the “Lou’s Laptop” subplot. It was terrible on all counts, in my opinionated opinion. I know it was probably intended to be played off for levity, but the episode did not need another Lou snafu for giggles. I cannot for a second believe the woman holding the *highest office* in Hudson has a.) such poor security on her WORK laptop, and b.) lacked serious judgment in what she allegedly kept on it. In real life, her I.T./security people would have been mandating a password change like every bloody week with 32-characters-including-capitals-numbers-special-characters, and she would have been schooled on what is appropriate use of her laptop and what isn’t. She deserves to called “Mayor Skroob” for apparently having a lame password something close to “1234”.

And you mean to tell me businesswoman “Spreadsheet” OCD Lou has a desk so messy she misses a note placed there telling her exactly where the laptop is being kept? Isn’t she Miss Organized?!

And don’t get me started on the pictures she was keeping on the laptop “inappropriate for my children to see” she mentioned that nearly gave Rick a coronary. I doubt it was anything *too* incriminating, and possibly stuff just embarrassing for Katie and Georgie, but just the suggestion Lou could have had something scandalous on her hard drive was poor judgment both for her and for whoever greenlit that odious plot point. “Bad pictures” are no joking matter, especially when in the real world, we’re becoming *very* aware of the connection between “bad pictures” and human trafficking. Big FAIL on that, and I’m not apologizing for calling it out. Don’t ever go there again, Heartland, even for laughs.

End of rant.

Back at Cooper’s Centre, Clint has bad news for Logan. His dad has failed to make parole. This upsetting news causes Logan to run off. They try without success to find him on the Centre grounds or in any of the buildings. Cooper seems at his wits’ end with both this and his funding crisis—later even abandoning his dream project and leaving Clint in the lurch. Amy returns to Heartland to continue gentling the wildie when Logan rolls in on his bike. But he’s not there to help. He’s there to say goodbye. He has decided to make a fresh start on his own without his dad, wherever that may take him, and Amy seems unable to convince him running away isn’t the answer. “Father and son relationships... they can be tough... and fragile,” Jack tells Amy when she mentions how angry Logan is at his dad. He speaks about looking up to Jefferson, and how he idolized the man... and how tough it is when that hero trips up; to discover he’s just a person. He reminds Amy it’s not her responsibility to fix what’s broken between Logan and his father. Cue another flashback to when Young Jack has another uncomfortable exchange with a drunken Jefferson. They’ve been fighting over Young Jack’s rodeo aspirations and his duties on the ranch. Jefferson throws the gold watch at his son, snidely saying ��Happy birthday”; Young Jack throws it down on the hearth shouting that he doesn’t want it; that he doesn’t want anything from his father. It all boils down how Jefferson accused Young Jack of challenging his authority, of thinking he knew what was best for the ranch. “You think you know what’s best for this place? Prove it!” Jefferson taunted. Those mocking words haunt Jack this entire episode. At one point, Lyndy wakes up in her room, convinced something’s outside her door. That sends Jack rushing outside in the dead of night with his rifle. Of course there’s nothing there, but Jack can’t seem to shake the feeling he’s failed to keep his family safe. Jack finally admits to Lisa he’s not actually feeling guilty about the break-in, he’s angry about the watch, and the memories losing it has conjured up. Lisa hears how drunken Jefferson took out his grief and anger over June’s death on Jack, causing him to feel unsafe in his own home. She tells Jack what Jefferson did was heartbreaking, but that he cannot be angry at himself for what happened. Jack asks why not, since he believes he made her feel the way his dad made him feel. “I promised I would never do that to anyone,” he says. Lisa insists he always makes her feel safe, and that he is not his father. She encourages him to pull himself out of the past and to appreciate what he has now, because he made Heartland into what it is. Jack fortunately takes her advice to heart. Wrapping up the remaining plot points: Logan’s Run was short-lived. He’s back to help Amy after realising he didn’t want to be on the road on his own. (He’s probably also realised he should pursue this connection he has with horses, and Amy even gives him a riding lesson.) Parker and Tim track down both the watch and trophy at a local pawn shop. It seems the thieves were not from Cooper’s outfit; they were a gang involved with the fair that was moving from town to town, a pattern Parker identified during her sleuthing. Jack takes Lyndy fishing at the pond, which provides a bookend flashback to a happier time when Jack was a kid and Jefferson was still his hero, teaching him how to fish, perhaps the only time Jack heard Jefferson tell him he was proud of him.

End of Review; onto personal commentary...

I was really impressed by everyone’s performances in this episode. Shaun Johnston was particularly great, I thought. Jack’s not usually the one to show much emotion, but this episode gave him the opportunity to really show a great deal of emotion without having the luxury of words. Just watching him, sitting on the bench on the porch as he fumed over the robbery, or how he remembered the difficult past with this father... wow. 

We’re of course still completely ignoring the havoc the “June dies” timeline has wreaked on previously established Heartland canon. We’ll never be able to reconcile it, so I guess I’ll just have to let it go. Jefferson Bartlett’s grief and anger over June’s untimely death, and maybe even his resentment over his son’s aspirations led him down a very dark and destructive path. It wasn’t made overt, but one gets the sense Jefferson might have even been physically abusive towards Jack (beyond the drunken shoving match that could have happened). 

I’m feeling a little better now about the “There was a time I couldn’t wait to leave this place” quip from Jack when we were first hit with the “Jack had a sister and a bad relationship with his dad” backstory due to what Lisa said to Jack during their talk.

She was grateful to Jefferson for one thing: and that was instilling in Jack a sense of responsibility for Heartland. Jack didn’t actually have to stay with the bitter old man. He could have taken off on the road, taking in every rodeo he wanted. But he still felt responsible for the ranch that both his granddad and his dad promised would be his to take care of one day. 

Because ever since Day 1 of knowing Jack Bartlett, I’ve known two things: he’s proud of those 600 acres of Heartland, and he’s a homebody. 

Jack’s reasons for wanting to leave weren’t because he wasn’t interested in taking care of the family homestead. His reason for wanting to leave was more about not feeling safe in his father’s presence after June died. 

It makes sense he’d feel better about being there after the old man died, and perhaps in and through marrying Lyndy, brining her there to live, and having Marion. He must have put great effort into making sure they felt safe and secure when he was around, the same effort he’s been putting into it for his family now.

I’m so pleased to see how Jack was quick to counsel Logan, given what they’ve both experienced. The parallels between Logan and Ty cannot be ignored, but I’m also glad the Writers don’t seem to be beating us over the head with the comparisons. Ty, for example, wasn’t a prodigy with equines. Logan seems to have a preternatural ability about them, and Amy is all too keen to help him harness that. Ty was in juvie; near as I can figure, Logan simply ended up in a group home because he got too old for foster care and has never had a criminal record.

I feel like I could say so much more about this episode, but it’s late, and I’ve already ruminated about it enough for now.

[let-the-dream-begin]

A Family of Our Own: Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Read on AO3

The dining room was loud and boisterous as it always was before supper. Jenny bustled in with dish after dish, Claire and Maggie trailing behind with more. Mary MacNab was feeding wee Ian in the nursery to keep the meal somewhat formal given that they had a guest. The men had just finished washing up from the day, and Jamie was upstairs fetching John from his room. After the tour of the grounds, Jamie got back to work, and John got himself settled in his room.

As Claire sat herself down, Jamie returned, John right behind him. All conversation immediately ceased. Even Kitty, little devil though she was, had the sense to be scared. Claire watched as John surveyed the six sets of wide, little eyes gaping at him, and the narrowed, piercing gaze of Jenny. Jamie either didn’t notice or chose to ignore the awkward silence, and he pulled out a chair, indicating John to sit right beside him. Claire chided herself for the ridiculous pang of jealousy that struck her sternum. Brianna always sat between her and Jamie. But there was nothing between him and John.

“This looks splendid,” John said lightly, smiling warmly at Jenny. “My compliments to the Mistress of the house.”

“Mhm.” Jenny nodded curtly, reaching to fill Michael and Janet’s plates without even looking up at John.

Claire’s face flamed with secondhand embarrassment, and she noticed that John was no less affected.

“Lord John is very good at chess, I hear,” Claire said rather stupidly. “Quite a formidable opponent for you, Ian.”

Ian had the decency to look up from his food and smile and nod genially, but he said nothing.

“And what does that make me?” Jamie said, joking.

“You don’t recall all the times you lost?” John side-eyed him, smirking, and Jamie scoffed, gesturing flippantly with his fork.

“Ye played chess in prison, then?” Jenny cut in sharply, finally looking directly at John with no mercy in her cold eyes.

“Aye,” Jamie did not seem at all perturbed, even though Claire suddenly had little to no appetite. “I was a conduit of sorts, for John to learn and understand the prisoners’ needs. I spoke for them over meals and games of chess.”

Claire did not miss how Jenny visibly cringed at Jamie referring to John so informally.

“He was an excellent advocate,” John cut in. “He cares very much about his people. He was born to be a leader.”

“Shame he canna be one,” Jenny snapped, putting more potatoes on Kitty’s plate. “Seeing as he canna own his own family land.”

John swallowed thickly. “That…yes, that is quite a shame. If there was something to be done about it—”

“Ye’ve done enough, man,” Ian said, and despite his discomfort, Claire could tell he meant it. “And we thank ye.”

“God forbid he lose his position serving the Crown,” Jenny said with no hidden ire. Maggie looked like she was about to burst into tears out of sheer discomfort, her food completely untouched. Young Jamie’s ears and nose were bright red with anger, apparently old enough now to understand. Kitty and Brianna kept looking at each other and then back at the adults.

“Janet,” Jamie snapped. “Enough.”

“Forgive me,” she said without any hint of an actual apology in her tone. “Shall we continue discussing yer fine meals together in prison?”

“Jenny…” Claire tried, but her quiet attempt at calm was completely talked over.

“It looked just like this, I suppose. You sitting there all high and mighty in yer fine red coat.”

“Janet—”

“And you,” she interrupted Jamie, pointing fiercely at him, “sitting there wi’ him like his coat isna stained wi’ the blood of yer people!”

“Ma, please stop…” Maggie blubbered helplessly.

“Like ye’re equals!” Jenny went on. “Like right now. Sitting there in yer redcoat like ye own the lot of us.”

“Madame, I assure you…”

“Dinna even have the decency to wear something else in the presence of these children who’ve seen nothing but terror from the likes of it!”

“I…I don’t have…”

“Mummy…” Brianna tugged on Claire’s sleeve, and before she could open her mouth to comfort her, Jenny stood.

“Children, out. Take yer plates to the nursery. All of ye. Now.”

She hastily dumped more meat and potatoes on all of their plates as they shuffled out, dumbstruck with fear, Maggie’s sniffling echoing down the halls until their footsteps disappeared up the stairs.

Jamie stood the second the children were out of earshot, and Claire shot to her feet to contain his rage.

“Ye’re out of line, sister,” Jamie said through clenched teeth.

“Oh, I am?” she roared, puffing her chest out with her hands on her hips. “Ye must be bloody mad! Bringing him in to dine like he’s one of us! With my children!”

“He’s a friend!”

“But not one of us!” she spat, her face reddening. “And I canna believe ye…ye dined wi’ him in chains…” Her eyes watered. 

“I was never chained, Jenny.”

“That’s no’ the point!” She angrily swiped at her tears. “Ye let him…use ye…”

Claire’s chest tightened.

“And he’s got ye still like a dog on a lead! It’s plain as the nose on my face watching ye talk wi’ him!”

“What the devil are ye implying?” Jamie’s voice lowered dangerously.

“I may no’ have been farther than Broch Mordha in all my life, but I’m no’ daft.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Ye bloody told us he’s fond of ye. I bloody ken what that means.”

“Jenny, come on now…” Ian heaved himself to his feet and touched her shoulder.

Claire glanced down at John, and he looked like he was contemplating drowning himself in his soup. Jamie was vibrating beside her, and she put a gentle, calming hand on his forearm.

“I just…” Jenny gasped in a hiccup of tears, her hand flying to her chest. “I didna ken that ye…that you…” She swallowed thickly, gathering her resolve. “Ye didna say you were fond of him.”

In the time it took Claire to blink, something shattered, food splattered all over, and Jamie was leaning across the table, his nose inches away from Jenny’s.

“I’m. Not. Fond. Of anything.”

Claire took a trembling breath, watching Jamie growl in Jenny’s face, Jenny still as stone, not backing down. She took her eye off them for a split second, long enough to see two tears trail down John’s cheeks.

“Dinna lie to me, brother,” Jenny said calmly. “I dinna ken what he did to ye, and I dinna want to know. I just want this madness to stop.”

Jamie heaved, his entire body convulsing with each breath. Claire dare not take a step or move an inch.

“Bringing a redcoat into my home is bad enough,” she went on. “But bringing in a redcoat that’s…someone like him…in front of the children…” Her voice broke again. “How could ye do it, brother…? How could ye let a sodomite—”

A sharp crack filled the air, and Claire felt all the air rush out of her. Jenny recoiled with a stifled cry, holding her cheek. A terrible, painful silence followed, and Jamie straightened up, as if realizing what he’d done. Claire looked at Ian, and she wanted to weep. She had never seen him filled with such anger.

“I’m no’ an impulsive man, Jamie,” Ian said unevenly. “But if ye dinna quit my sight this instant, I’ll pound yer bloody face in fer what ye’ve just done.”

Without a word, Jamie was gone, and the blood rushing in Claire’s ears was too loud for her to hear where he’d gone to. A chair scraped to her left, then a flash of red zipped by; John disappeared.

Not knowing what else to do, Claire sprang into medical action, striding around the table to examine Jenny’s face.

“I’m fine,” she pushed Claire’s hands away. “Nothing more than a bit of stinging. He’d never hit me hard enough to leave a mark.”

“Well he still shouldn't have done that,” Claire said, her voice more thick with emotion than she’d realized it would be. “You’re not children. He’s a grown man with the strength of three grown men. He should not be laying hands on anybody half his size.”

“No,” Ian growled. “He shouldna.”

“D’ye think me mad, sister?” Jenny said desperately, grasping Claire by the shoulders. “Or d’ye see it? Ye must ken what I mean! Ye’re his wife! Has he told ye?”

Claire gently pried Jenny’s fingers off her and laced them with hers. “I don’t think you’re mad. But I do think there’s something you’re missing. And I...I don’t think you should have spoken to Jamie that way. Nor should you have spoken about John like that right in front of him.”

Jenny blinked dumbly. “D’ye no’—”

“Yes, I do,” Claire said sharply. “Jamie told me that John is in love with him.”

“In love?”

“Yes.”

“That’s impossible!”

“No, it isn’t.” Claire’s face heated with anger. “And John never hurt Jamie. Never.”

“But what if it didna...what if it wasna...unpleasant for him? That’s what I’m trying to tell ye!”

“No,” Claire said quickly, too quickly. “Jamie wouldn’t...he said he didn’t. John told me they didn’t. He wouldn’t lie to me.”

“D’ye think they’d confess to such a sin?”

“It’s not a sin.”

“I ken yer time is different sister, but—”

“This has nothing to do with time,” Claire said resolutely. “John is a human being and he can’t help the way he feels. And you have no right to make him feel horrid for who he is.”

Jenny let go of Claire’s hands and crossed her arms, embarrassed. “I don’t...I dinna understand.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Claire said gently, crossing her own arms. “I admit I don’t really understand it either. But it’s none of my business.”

“It is yer business if he’s rogering yer husband.”

Claire recoiled as if she was hit in the face, blinking in shock.

“If you don’t take that back this instant, I’ll slap you myself.”

Jenny flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, sister. I’m sorry.”

Claire sighed impatiently. “I’ll go talk to Jamie. After you’ve both cooled down, you will apologize. For insulting his friend, and him.”

“But—”

“And if Jamie has been unfaithful,” Claire gathered her skirts and walked away, stopping in the doorway, “I will deal with him in my own way.”

——

After several minutes of searching, Claire found Jamie in the stables, his forehead pressed to the snout of his horse as he whispered in Gaelic, stroking his muzzle. He seemed to have calmed considerably, for which Claire had the horses to thank. They always had a soothing effect on him, even as far back as when she’d first met him.

“Has Jenny convinced ye I’m a filthy pervert, then?”

Claire recoiled a bit, but pressed on, taking a few more steps into the stable. “No.”

“I’m sorry if I frightened ye,” Jamie said sadly. “But I’m no’ sorry I hit her.”

“I don’t blame you,” Claire admitted. “She was behaving abhorrently.”

“I hear what ye’re no’ saying, Sassenach,” Jamie said, still not looking at her. “Ye condemn Jenny, but ye still want to ask me if she’s right.”

Claire straightened her spine, embarrassed she’d been found out so easily.

“Well, wouldn’t you?” Claire tried, taking another step forward. “If a man showed up on our threshold and started acting so...familiar with me, and went on about all the evenings we spent together...wouldn’t you wonder?”

“Aye. I would.” He finally released the horse and turned around, flicking a piece of hay away impatiently. “But ye thought I was dead. I’d no’ shame ye for remarrying, or trying to. I kent ye lived and maybe waited for me. Why would I betray ye? Why would ye think it? And wi’...wi’ a bloody s—”

“Don’t say it.” Claire put a hand up. “I’ve heard that word quite enough for one lifetime, now.”

“Is that no’ what he is?”

“He’s a man, first and foremost. And your friend, secondly.”

“Aye. But I dinna have to agree wi’ how he lives his life.”

“But you don’t have to treat him so awfully for it, either,” Claire said firmly. “He can’t help how he feels about you. I admit I didn’t realize how...strongly he felt until he showed up today. I was...frightened by it, truthfully.”

“What frightened ye, Sassenach?”

“I...I don’t know…” Claire shook her head. “When I saw that it went beyond...lust...I thought...I was afraid that…”

“I dinna love him,” Jamie growled, his body tightening.

“I didn’t say you did,” Claire said, her voice quiet with awed horror. “You said that.”

He stepped back, running an impatient hand through his hair. “I don’t.”

Claire crossed her arms over her chest. “John told me nothing...happened.”

“It didn’t.”

Claire almost jumped at his vehemence.

“And if anything would ha’ happened, it woulda been my choice. My own free will. As ye well know.”

Claire blinked a few times, unable to reconcile with the unfamiliar rage roiling in her gut. “You’d...let him do that…hurt you...but you don’t love him.”

“He wouldna hurt me!” Jamie said furiously. “Why are ye so determined to make him a monster?”

“Why are you so determined to defend him?” Claire shot right back. “You say it as if you’d...want him to!”

“Want him to what, Claire?” Jamie took a dangerous step forward, hovering over him.

“You know bloody well what!”

Jamie roughly seized her upper arm, yanking her close. “Say it, Claire. I want ye to look me in the eye and tell me what it is ye think I want.”

“You want to know what I think?”

“Aye! I do!” He shook her a bit.

“I want to know if you actually let him fuck you to buy your freedom! And if you fucking wanted him to! And enjoyed it!”

He released her suddenly with a great shove, and with a mighty roar, he punched his fist into the door of an empty stall behind him, spooking all of the horses. Claire gasped, stumbling back and falling onto her rear. She knew to her deepest core that he could have hit her with that force. He threw her away to protect her from the rage she’d stirred in him.

But, God help her, she still wasn’t done.

“I don’t bloody care who it is! I care if it happened or not!” She stayed on the ground, crying up to him like a pathetic child. “And I care that you might not think it...counts because he’s a man! And God, Jamie! It does!”

“Of course it counts!” he shouted. “It would! If it’d happened! Why, why would I lie to you?” “Because you’re ashamed! I can see it all over your face!” She pointed accusingly, openly weeping at him. “If it were a woman you’d be on your knees begging my forgiveness, but because it’s a man, you’re ashamed!”

That gave him pause, and Claire thought she’d gotten through to him, thought he was about to make a confession. A tear rolled down his cheek.

“Aye. I am ashamed.”

Claire let out a tiny sob, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. It was her doing, wrenching it out of him like this; it was what she’d wanted. And yet she wished she could undo it all, live in blissful ignorance forever. She couldn’t bear to hear him say it, and yet she had to.

“I’m ashamed because I’m afraid.”

This gave her pause. She blinked, picking her head up off her knees. “Afraid…?”

“I’m afraid of what would have happened if he’d agreed to it.”

And all at once, Claire wanted to die with shame, because she knew with all her heart that he was telling the truth.

“I’m afraid I would have...enjoyed it. As ye said.” He took a stuttering breath, more tears littering his cheeks. “There was a...a thrill that ran through me when I asked him. And it scared me senseless. And I ken. I ken that...that Randall put that in me. I ken.”

“Jamie…” Claire practically squeaked. She unfurled from herself and got on her knees. “Jamie...come here. Come here, love…”

He obeyed, dropping to his knees like dead weight, and Claire gathered him in her arms until his head was in her lap, hands fisting her skirts.

“That man put nothing in you. Nothing. He owns no part of you and you own no part of him.”

He shook his head, and she stroked his hair, hushing him.

“If you...if you’d enjoy being with a man...a man who cares about you...loves you, even...it’s not the same thing. It’s not.”

She listened to his quiet sniffling and bit down her own tears, working to steady her voice.

“That’s not...how that works,” she struggled to find the words. “I don’t know much about John, but he’s not...the way he is because somebody hurt him. People don’t just...become that way. He was born that way. And if...if you…”

“No. I’m no’ like him.”

“Not like John? Or not like Randall?”

“John is a good man.”

“I know,” she soothed. “I know.”

“I ken he’s a good man...and yet I...I canna…” he took a deep breath. “Ye remember I told ye I beat a man senseless fer implying John and I were...buggering.”

“I remember.”

“It wasna to defend John’s honor. No’ really. And he knew it. I think he knows...something. I never told him, and I never will. But he could tell.”

“So why did you beat him then?” Claire knew the answer, but she needed to hear Jamie say it.

“Because I couldna stand anyone thinking I was that way. It made be blind wi’ rage.”

Claire nodded, stroking his cheek with her knuckles. “I know.”

“I...my mind knows that John is good...but my body...recoils to think of what he is.”

“To...think of what you might be?”

It was risky. He could kill her in one fell swoop.

Instead, he tightened his grip around her waist and buried his face further into her.

“I don’t care, Jamie. I don’t. I don’t know how to help you accept that part of yourself, but just know that it makes no difference to me.”

Claire swallowed. “I’m sorry I was so horrid. I said exactly what I knew would get you the most upset. And I know why it gets you upset. And it was so, terribly wrong of me.”

She felt a fervent kiss to her abdomen, and she clung to his hair.

“I think I...as much as I respect and admire him...I just as equally resent him. And it’s awful because you were in prison, for Christ’s sake...but I…” Her voice caught in her throat. “I know I’ve said it enough times, but you were dead. I was so lost without you. We all were. We were harassed and starved and beaten, and we lost and feared…” She shook her head. “And for those eight years, he had you. You were at his beck and call to dine with and...play chess...all the while I thought you were rotting on Culloden Moor.”

Jamie sat up, looking into her eyes with enough remorse to crumble the strongest resolve.

“I’m your wife. I’m your fucking wife,” she said, teeth clenched. “I was your wife those entire eight years that he had you pretend I didn’t exist; you didn’t even know your daughter existed. I cried into my fucking potatoes every night for years beacuse you weren’t at supper and all he had to do was look up and see you right there. And the thought of it makes me…” She must have been trembling, because he put steadying hands on her shoulders. “I can’t bear to think of it.”

Jamie tenderly kissed her forehead.

“And to think of him having just that one bit more of you...the only thing that I’d have to claim over him…” She shrugged uselessly, feeling like a petulant toddler fighting for rights to a toy. “To think of you giving yourself to him the way you give yourself to me while I couldn’t even bring myself to touch myself for eight years…”

“But I didn’t, Claire,” he said vehemently. “I didn’t.”

She nodded, pursing her lips. “I know,” she croaked. “I know.”

He captured her lips gently, almost hesitantly, and she reciprocated in kind, fingers trembling on his cheeks.

“D’ye doubt that I love you?”

“No,” Claire answered without hesitation. “Not for a single second.”

Jamie nodded, sighing in relief. “I was afraid...once ye knew the darkest parts of me...ye’d think I couldna…”

Claire shook her head, kissing him lightly again. “It doesn’t make you dark. Or incapable of love.”

“Or incapable of loving that ye’re a woman…?”

Claire shook her head again. “You tell me, Jamie. Do you still love these…?” She took his hands and guided them to her breasts, delighting in the stutter of his breath. He nodded reverently. She guided his hands under her skirts. “How about this?”

He groaned, and a chill ran down her spine.

“Aye, lass. God, I do…”

She straddled him, kissing him more deeply, grinding down into his hand. “Then nothing else matters.”

[sillydreamer]

Hi! I don't know if you are doing this but...nsfw alphabet for Raphael?? It's okay if you want to ignore it 😁

NSFW alphabet of Raphael

Do you hear that? Those are my sinful thoughts celebrating for these request. Keep reading if you want to read about dirty things of these vampire.

(And I apologize for any mistake, it's my first nsfw alphabet)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Raphael is really gentle during the aftercare, he praises you and kisses all your body trying to make you feel better if your skin hurts. Then he’ll hug you and kiss your neck with love.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He really likes his hands; how he’s able to touch you and what he can do with them on your body.

At the same time his favorite parts on your body are your hands and lips. He goes crazy when you touch him and with the contact of your lips on the top of his skin.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His cum is an average amount but very thick. You can feel how it slides through your body while he’s letting himself go inside you. Prefers when we ends up inside you but if you want to swallow it Raphael would allow you, just be careful with it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes when one of you two is tided up to the bed or with its hands stranded, being unable to move. Also has some fantasies about using his powers on you and controlling you in every aspect.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He isn’t very experience because since Margarita died he hadn’t feel that attraction to anybody else. Probably has a few nightstands as experience but nothing too intimate.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary; loves to hear your voice and touch your body. Also likes against the wall but it’s afraid of hitting something and breaking it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

His sense of humor is strange and most of the time is serious but if you joke a little bit he’ll continue with it and make both of you laugh. He’ll feel happy if you are feeling alright.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

It’s short by nature, he doesn’t have the need to cut it since it doesn’t bother a lot during oral and if you want it short he’ll probably ask for your help to do it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Likes to prepare the environment to be as romantic as possible. Likes to take his time and enjoy the moment. However if he’s feeling a little bit rebel he’ll tease you a lot and hold you waiting for the moment for a long time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t do it often because he lost the sense of doing it, physical pleasure is something that only lasts for a moment and then becomes a memory. Well that’s what he used to think before meeting you, still he doesn’t masturbate that often and prefers to talk with you (masturbates once a week or so, probably he’s very repressed).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Bondage, Dom/Sub, switch, a little bit of humiliation, fisting, orgasm control, perhaps ocasional dirty talk...

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His favorite place are the bedrooms, both of you can do whatever you want without being bothered. However if he’s feeling horny he’ll do it in the library (I can hear Vladimir’s voice in the distance)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your voice, if you say the right words in the right tone he’ll get hard in an instant. Also when you touch his neck or hair with your hands Raphael’s breathing will start rising.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He may like humiliation and other hard stuff but if you ask him to hit you hard he’ll say no. Also having sex in semi-public spaces were people can see you (however he’s good if they are just hearing you, weird but let him be).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves both giving and receiving. In the first one he loves to hear you whimming and begging for more meanwhile on the other hand he can’t but moan when you are giving him, really loves the feeling of your mouth hugging his cock.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He prefers to take his time and please both of you. Can last all the night if he’s slow but can be rough and mean when he wants it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He rather not to have them and enjoy in the bedroom but may give a little fuck behind the walls but later Raph will need a new session of love but longer and harder.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He isn’t closed minded, he’s more curious about experimenting and trying new stuff. However he doesn’t like being seen by others while doing it because he’s shy.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Has normal energy for a vampire, even a little bit less. His average are 3-4 rounds before feeling tired and starting to feel weak. Of course he takes breaks between rounds and respect if you need to rest more of by the other hand, if you need more rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Doesn’t have toys but may try them. If you have one he will use it on you and will suggest to use them on him too. Probably he’ll ended up getting one and experimenting with it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

During normal rounds he’ll be kind and more of being slow to tease you, leaving you wanting more. However if Raph is feeling “dirty” he’ll be mean and tease a lot with words “Why so impatience darling? You know that I’ll take good care of you” Or by the other hand he will be rough and let you gasping for air “Are you done? That’s bad, I hadn’t ended up with you yet”

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s loud and isn’t ashamed of it. Most are moans and heavy breaths while his cheeks turns red and his mouth is slightly opened letting those sounds escape (I need to chill out it’s 12am and my family may caught me)

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

During sex he speaks italian and loves to tease you with this, telling hot things right at your ear.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

it’s thick enough to fill inside you, has small veins around it and the top is slightly bigger but nothing weird. It’s a little bit curved to the left and covered in soft skin

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not very high, he can do it two or three times a week by his own but for you he can do it every single day. Of course he doesn’t want to force you and will let you choose when.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Prefers to wait until you fall asleep and follows you right away, however if you touch his hair and neck he’ll lose himself and fall asleep right away. It’s tired after sex and this baby need to rest.

Mom if you’re reading this you saw nothing 💀

[carrionbeast]

Ok since passover starts tonight, I’m making a post about my thoughts on Jewish Daredevil. And yes, I know Catholicism is his whole thing, but play with me in this space.

So: What branch of Judaism? 

Okay, so, I myself am Reform and so, not extremely familiar with every other branch.

I’m going to say Matt would be either Reform or Conservative and if I had to pick one, I’d pick religious Reform. He definitely keeps Kosher as much as he can, goes to temple, does the high holidays, but still puts tikkun olam (repairing the world) and the pursuit of justice above adhering to the strict letter of the law. Tikkun olam is definitely why he shoved that old man out of the way of that truck.. And like, pursuing justice is his whole fucking thing (yeah yeah jewish lawyer joke i get it).

Now of course the big question: Is it okay for him to go out Daredeviling on shabbat? 

So, basically, with Jews, even though we have a bunch of rules we have to follow on commandment from G-d, but we have a big overriding commandment that says we are forbidden from obeying those laws if it will save a human life. If eating a cheese and bacon muffin on Passover will save somebody’s life, a Jewish person is obligated to eat that muffin. So. We know Matt can literally hear people’s lives in danger, so to be honest, if he hears somebody about to possibly get murdered on a Friday night, then he has no choice but to go be Daredevil and save them. It’s not a sin, Jewish people don’t really have sin like that, but his obligation as a Jewish person to go out and club a bad guy over the head. “I’m sorry rabbi, I need to go punch the Kingpin so he doesn’t shoot anybody.” “DON’T APOLOGIZE JUST GO!”

Next: Would be still be Daredevil? Not Daredybbuk? I’m still gonna say it’s Daredevil, because 1) nobody but other Jews know what the fuck a dybbuk is, let alone how to spell it and it would be frustrating to have to correct spelling like “no, its not d-i-b-u-c-k” and 2) Jewish people aren’t like, immune to popular iconography, he’d wear the horns to get the message across.

But, the thing about the Satan in Judaism is that he’s not there to punish sinners, he’s not there to be the enemy of G-d, he’s G-d’s prosecuting attorney. Being a defense lawyer during the day and the prosecutor at night 100% appeals to Matt’s sense of being as dramatic as possible.

Next, of course, is the guilt. And baby, guilt (and food) is what brings the Jews and the Catholics together. I don’t know much about Catholic specific guilt, but for Jewish people, the guilt is a lot to do with not doing the right thing enough and not being good enough. Like we should be better, we shouldn’t be so disappointing to our mother/father/dog/cat/G-d. etc, but we are and we feel bad about it. Don’t worry, says G-d, I’ll just sit here, waiting for you to do better... 

My point is: Guilt’s still gonna be a thing. 

So his parents: If he’s Reform, then being a patrilineal Jewish person isn’t going to be an issue, but if he’s Conservative, then it’s up in the air depending on the temple he and his father went to, but I can’t imagine them going to a non-liberal Conservative temple (the patrilineal thing is another reason I think he’s Reform) His mother could still be a nun, but I mean, there’s a bunch of other ways he could have lost his mother that don’t involve her joining a convent, so she could have been Jewish also. I think probably Jack converted and Maggie was Jewish, but either way. (Also, for those of you who like Latino Matt, you can absolutely be Latino and Jewish. There’s Jews of every race and skin color.)

Anyway, those are my thoughts on Jewish Daredevil and Marvel, please hire me to write Earth 18, 36, 180, 72.... Really any Earth-Multiple of 18. 

(His name would be Matthew Mendelsson) (Actually it could still be Murdock, there’s a sizeable population of Jewish people with the last name of Murdock) (But Matt Mendelsson is cute)

[dorki-c]

My Guardian Demon| Chapter 1, Part 3: Inheritance

Relationship: Izuku Midoriya X (Reader)

Rating: 16+

A/N: I thought writing this part would be really hard...Nope. Not at all. I’m surprised! I hope you all enjoy!

TW: Brief mention of Fire, Swearing 

[Masterlist] [<— Previous| Next —>]

(Song recommendation for this chapter: All the good girl’s go to hell By Billie Eilish)

PROMPT QUESTION FOR THIS STORY ARC: Are all demons ‘bad’?

“But I’m not giving up on my dream, if you aren’t going to give up on yours.”

Alas, the gloriously golden sun highlighted the features of the old dusk that was soon turning into their new dawn.

(And might I say, if society got in their way, they will pay their dues the hard way.)

The two of them knew they had to paint the sky a fresh light blue, to develop the painting of the environment with creative splatters of white to resemble the clouds.

With the sun almost sliding to horizon’s edge, a cloudy vermillion mist (that was his demon) slipped into the view of the sun, highlighting their features but not letting a shadow smudge the surface of the pretty earth that the star ruled over.

“I know you won’t give up on your dream.” Even from three footsteps away, Izuku could still make out the multitude of voices mixed together. 

“So, I won’t give up on my own dream.” Although, even if one voice is made up of many sounds, that doesn’t mean it can’t resonate with tenacity.

“Got it!”

From a roof top of an apartment building to the lonesome streets below, it was still unbelievable to the middle schooler that he…literally met All Might.

(And that he had learned of All Might’s weakness.)

Nonetheless, after every battle we grow stronger.

(Right?)

------------------------------------

The days of our years always past through fingertips that have soaked in sin.

Yet, those who want to fight are the ones who shoulder said sins like an unlucky medal garnished in pure gold.

And how this medal got passed into Izuku’s somehow capable hand, who knows?

Where the demon stood at the back of the mass of people surrounding them, Izuku was at front of the crowd. A racing horse of many thoughts drowned his selfish needs and his demon’s hopeless demands.

How can he prove to society that he is capable to be a hero?  

How can he do it?

The scene of a filthy crime, the stage was set with a hostage and villain. One of them had manifested as a flaxen haired male, maybe around Izuku’s age? Though the moment the green-haired boy saw a familiar dandelion crackling outlining the big BOOM destroying the landscape around the hostage—he just started moving too fast for his demon’s claws to catch.

(T-That’s—that’s the same villain who attacked him!)

At first, a cold breeze of (what he believes might be) your hands about to catch him. Were you about to halter or allow him to write a new beginning?

(No, you weren’t stopping Izuku. Did you want to see this event play out?)

Sure, when the main act was about to end, maybe another new role can rush in and save the show.

Why were you staying behind? Did you approve of his actions? Izuku thought you hated it when he played the saviour role. Was he wrong?

(Izuku has never been a clairvoyant, however, he can be a saviour.)

Knocking and shoving past the innocently confused bystanders, visions of red scorching the surface of the road, the sight of that same gloopy villain cackling in satisfaction at the catch they managed to reel in.

“None of us have the right quirks to stop a villain like this!” The false heroes would always say.

“I’m not a real hero…” The Symbol of Peace may whisper to himself after saving many people.

“I want to be a hero!” Is the cry of a boy whose been doubted for his whole life.

Will he be successful in his attempt of grabbing “KACCHAN!” out of the sludge after throwing his yellow bag straight at the target?

(He ends up hitting the villain’s eye! Whoop! Whoop! Bullseye! )

If it wasn’t the summer sun of this fateful day.

Then it was the memories of childhood youth coming to ride the sailing riptide of the small green-haired boys kindness.

Where pebbles tumbled down the riverway above the stream of shallow river water travelling downwards was a large tree trunk pretending to be a safe bridge for the five children carelessly bumbling across it.

As the ringleader lost his footing and slipping down, down, down into the small riptide, if it wasn’t for the cicadas- clicking away with their summery sounds whilst they hide in the bushes- then a small splosh of water could’ve sounded like splashing into a large rain puddle.

(But it didn’t, instead the sound was nearly as silent as a dormouse sneaking into your fridge for cheese.)

Underneath Mother Nature’s bridge, casted a shadow blanketing the vermillion mist where the desolate being stood waiting for its owner to notice them, but the owner ignores the mist like he usually did and opts for helping the blonde-haired ringleader.

(He’s always helped people. (Y/n) can’t tell you when he hasn’t helped anybody.)

Extending his chubby baby hands, the green haired boy asked the blonde one “are you alright?” Though the demon knows that Izuku didn’t intend for that sentence to make the other child to narrow their crimson eyes.

However, whoever anybody is, Izuku will always extend a hand.

This does not exempt from his childhood friend, Bakugo Katsuki.

(This is what it means to be a saviour. Not a hero.)

The performance of a brave act had concluded with a boring aftermath.

(Like how can a demon say that watching All Might change the weather was exciting?)

Clobbered around Izuku’s tired form was a few (false) heroes who lectured him about how he should “be careful, because you could’ve easily died” to that villain.

(Though the demon had the audacity to scoff at the shitty remarks, if those heroes did their jobs properly and pulled Bakugo out of the villain’s grasps, then Izuku wouldn’t have had to.)

Let’s not forget, that Izuku was the one who had the guts to do what the heroes couldn’t do and that Bakugou was praised for his bravery.

What ‘bravery’ was there to show? If anything, those vermillion eyes showcased fifty shades of fear and that’s not tipping the iceberg of what those falsities had said about bravery.

(They were only boosting his ego.)

------------------------------------

“Do you think I did the right thing, (y/n)?” Izuku muttered out loud, although his demon was occupied with ignoring the ‘demon therapy’ poster that hung desolate on a lamp post and instead had the goal of catching a freaking butterfly.

When their hand reached out to grab it. They halted, turned towards Izuku, then asked “were you talking” because they were highly busy trying to catch an insignificant insect to notice that Izuku said something out loud.

“N-no! Don’t worr—” A rough, maybe a tad bit too loud of a bark cut Izuku off when he heard the familiar insult of “DEKU!” from the distance.

“Oh god, what does Bakugo want?” Izuku simply shrugged. Nobody really knows what Bakugo wants anymore. Is it validation? Pride? A sense of superiority?

Nobody, not even Izuku’s demon, could make out what he wanted by his little prompt speech about not owing Izuku a dime of gratefulness. With his whole act of calling Izuku a “quirkless failure who wouldn’t cut out to be a shitty rent-a-cop, even if he tried.”

Furthermore, how dare the blonde-haired boy think that Izuku was looking down on him. He first calls Izuku a “weakling” after all he had done, then accuses him that “he did nothing to help,” and then decided to strut off like the moody teenager he is.

(But what if you were mistaken to think he was moody?)

----------------------------------

When passing maybe two, perhaps three corners of rows with houses lined down the sides of the passageways, with boxed in backyards and the sun starting to lay its weary head down for a long desolate nap, Izuku was once again setting his mind straight and into autopilot.

“Hey Izuku?” You were asking the questions and he was answering back with his answers. Usually, you either stayed quiet or screamed at anybody (besides his mom) who dared to touch his precious face, so if he was guessing why you were asking him a question; it was because you were asking him an ‘important’ question (or so you labelled them to be important, because they seriously aren’t).

“Y-Yes (Y/n)?”

And of course, Izuku isn’t clairvoyant, so how would he know that your upcoming question was “what were the colours of the sky?” since your quite forgetful at times.

What? Why were you asking that question again? He’s told you a couple times before “there’s only one colour of the sky, its blue” but knowing you and your airheaded attitude, he has to stay patient. With your small nod to his answer, you seemed satisfied with the small talk until—

“I AM HERE!” Booms behind the green-haired boy (unexpectedly).

If it wasn’t for puberty, then Izuku could’ve lost his voice by the singlehanded scream of “ALL MIGHT! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!”

(And what’s the point of saying “I stand for justice!” when you can’t stand up in your hero form for five minutes before spewing blood from your mouth?)

All joking aside, when the pro-hero stood in front of Izuku in his rawest form, he had a statement to say for the green-haired boy.

“Young man, I came here to thank you and discuss your question.” What? All Might was giving up his time and energy to speak to him? A quirkless nobody?

Well…colour his demon’s pointed look at the worn-down man, in the richest colours of a rainbow. What does this pro-hero want with Izuku? .

.

.

“If you hadn’t told me about your life or had run into that fight, then I would have been a worthless bystander.” With the movement of his face allowing the thin-skinned cheek muscles to stretch his lips up to his onyx encircled blue eyes, All Might had presented the most sincerely painful smile he could muster in this small snippet of time.

Though, not surprisingly enough, this caught Izuku off guard. His expression paling as he frantically waved his hands about and only managing to utter the words of “N-no! No! It was my fault to begin with! If I hadn’t wasted your time and made you drop the villain t-then--!”

All Might cutting Izuku off mid-sentence was like a miracle out of the ninth circle of hell for (Y/n).

“I’m not done talking,” Hushing the 14 year old, All Might had continued his statement from earlier, “You told me you were powerless, so when I was standing in the crowd—watching this timid, quirkless kid rush into danger.”

The pro-hero paused in trying to find the right words.

“That inspired me to act as well.”

With a hand on his heart, the moment was truly overwhelming for Izuku.

“AND WITH THAT!”

All Might had poofed back into his hero form as soon as the sent his exclamation out to the world.

“I HAVE DEEMED YOU WORTHY OF INHERITING MY POWER!”

(Wait…what?)

The revelation of what the hero had unveiled to both the green-haired boy and his red demon was very confusing to process.

(And when did heroes become so self-righteous? Like jeez, calm down on that ego of yours All Might!)

Taglist:

@glitterfreezed, @izukubabe​, @sweater-weather-seven, @nyanyabisjjj, @quietlegends, @dragonsdreamoffire​, @candybabey​, @honeylavender13​​

CREDITS:

All content and art used within this story belongs to their respective owners. PLAGARISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

Art credits: Dorki-C and @glitterfreezed​

[MASTERLIST OF “My Guardian Demon”]​ [MAIN MASTERLIST]

[vesuvian-american-fics]

True Bloodlust Ch 12

I Put A Spell On You

You can't control yourself around Feitan. He has a power over you, one you have never experienced before and you love it. You crave it, you couldn't imagine living without it. (AO3)

Words: 2,306

TW Blood mention, graphic depictions of violence

Your head was pounding, your heart hammering against your sternum, sweat beading at your furrowed brows. As you and Shalnark advanced through the venue, you added more puppets to your army of mobsters. The strain was wearing away at you, but you wouldn’t back down now. What would Feitan think if he saw you this way? You wanted to impress him the most.

You wanted to see that pleased expression he gave you the first time you met. You needed it more than anything in this moment. Those dark grey eyes that shimmered a lovely violet in the moonlight gave you the strength to keep control of your nen and not lose yourself, not yet at least.

“They just won't stop coming huh?” Shalnark mused, slightly out of breath he pressed forward ahead of you. You only grunted in response. Suddenly you saw a flash of a familiar green tracksuit, it was Phinks. He sped past you to kill off some mobsters that were gaining ground towards you. Their necks were broken in an instant, a sickly crushing sound echoing in the hallway.

“Oh, Phinks! Good timing!” Shalnark huffed, before continuing.

“Where’s Nobunaga?”

“He’s set up at the front door, no one's getting in or out now.” Phinks replied nonchalantly, cracking his knuckles and rolling his shoulders.

“And Feitan?” You asked, a new found energy surging through you.

“He’s around. Go find him.” He waved you off back towards the entrance, and dropping half of your puppets for Phinks to take care of as a thanks, you left the two blondes behind.

They chuckled at the sound of your hurried foot falls rushing off towards the main ballroom. The building was eerily quiet for a while, save for the sounds about 10 puppets following obediently after you. All but the boss were unconsious, you got sloppy, taking much more blood from them than what was needed, and surely, they would be dead soon. The boss stopped fighting you, instead he filled with a rage that was soon to meet its boiling point. You shot him a wink over your shoulder, you could feel the rage emitting off of him, you could feel him fight against your control in that moment, but quickly abandoning the effort once more.

“Good boy.” You whispered underneath your breath.

“Well, thank you, just doing my job.” Nobunaga joked seeing step into the venues main entrance area. You chuckled at the comment before looking around once for Feitan.

“Where's––”

“Last saw him go into the ballroom right there, but it's been quiet. He probably moved on.” He answered quickly, giving you a reassuring smile before returning his attention to the noise outside. More Glam Gas Land Mobsters fighting to make their way into the gala as back up. All being cut down without mercy by Nobunaga who hasn’t moved an inch from where he sat.

You smiled back to him before offering some information.

“Tell them I have their boss here with me, and that I’m headed to go get that check we came here for.” Nobunaga gave you a thumbs up as he sliced another man into two.

Renewed energy coursed through your veins; you broke into a dead sprint bursting through the doors to the main ballroom. Out of the corner of your keen eye you caught a flash of Feitan’s remarkable cloak slipping through the door. You know he heard you open the doors as harsh as you did.

Oh.

So, he wants to play that game huh? Hard to get in a time like this? A little game or cat and mouse? It’s been a long time since you chased after anyone like this. It was exciting. Your heart fluttered in your chest. This is what you wanted. Feitan here with you, making this mission more fun than it already was.

You’re tired, your head is pounding and you’re sure you look a mess but none of that matters. With every moment you waste Feitan’s getting further away from you. A heat pools within your belly. You bite your lips before dashing after the raven-haired man.

He must have waited for you to come through those doors. Feitan flashes you a crinkly eyed smiled.

“Keep up or I leave you.” In the next moment he was gone again, and you wasted no time desperately chasing the man. This was fun, the most fun you’d had since first meeting him. That same curiosity was present on your scent, as well as his. Playfulness, finally the two of you can be together in the way you both have yearned to since coming together. A moments peace within the chaos. You whined at his speed; he may have been kind enough to wait a bit for you earlier but now he hardly even looking back to you. That’s fine though. The neglect just makes you want to catch up to him even more.

The thrill of the chase, hearing Y/N panting and whimpering just behind him had Feitan feeling a new animalistic energy coursing through him. Oh, how he just wanted to turn around and have his way with you. Too long has he been denied this pleasure. Life had become stale for the man up until he met you. His day-to-day life kept him on his toes but it wasn’t enough for him. Something new, young, and enticing like you was right up his alley.

Someone so impressionable. Someone Feitan didn’t think he’d find much joy in killing. Maybe, he wondered, he’d like getting you very close to the edge of death, but bring you back and heal you up. He’d love for you to be eager to go right back in, minimal tears, begging for mercy but being content knowing you weren’t going to get any.

But for now, he feared, Feitan had to remain focused on the task at hand. He drew his sword slicing and killing anyone in your way. However, to keep you alert, Feitan would often let a few people slip passed him for you to kill. He noticed you were sluggish but not as weak as you looked right now. Looking weak and helpless but being more than capable of handling yourself. The distressed look about you right now was entertaining to say the least.

You’re strong but you must have underestimated the energy. Needing to work on your endurance, learning to work through the pain. You need to develop your nen. Before Feitan and the Troupe came along you must have plateaued. No challenging jobs forcing you to continue adapting.

He supposes he’ll help you train. He can think of a few ways to test your endurance. Again, his thoughts wandered to more sinful desires before he tore them back to reality. He clicked his teeth in annoyance, how troublesome, the hold you have on his mind sometimes.

Steeling his resolve, Feitan looked over his shoulder to check how you were fairing. Sloppy, you were falling behind. He sighs at your short comings before stopping to wait for you. Just ahead is the last place that Feitan has left unchecked for the money. A broom closet just like at the auction in York New. How poetic.

Only a minute passes before you catch up to the man you’ve been chasing all along. You’re a mess but still, there's a smile on your face and a feverish blush. Getting even a glimpse of Feitan fighting does things to you, things you haven't felt before. Not to this degree that is. Feitan Portor is the only specimen that truly caught your eye. Someone you knew would keep you on your toes. The men before him were only a little fun because they feared you, the sense of power was thrilling. But no, Feitan was different.

From the moment you laid your dazed eyes onto his porcelain skin, his small smile, those lavender eyes, his raven black hair... You knew he was powerful; you could taste it in the air. A delicious flavor that sent your mind and heart into a frenzy. You were never afraid of anybody, but Feitan... He was intimidating in the best way. You would squeeze your thighs together at night as you dreamt about him shamelessly. How he’d dominate you and you’d put up no fight. You fantasized about the way his blood would taste, you wanted him to taste yours too. Did he think about you the same way? Would this man get hot and bothered with equally sinful thoughts?

You just wanted to put your hands on him, let them travel over his small frame. The muscles that were hidden under his cloak, his cool smooth skin soft and icy like snow, how silky his hair would feel between your deft fingers. You wanted to know everything about him. You could hardly control your feelings, the sexual arousal you felt just being in his presence. All of this is happening so fast, your world became so fun and exciting ever since he found you the night of the Underground Auction in York New. Fate brought you two together. Nothing would keep you away from him now. No matter what you wanted to give yourself to him. Feitan had you wrapped around his little finger with no effort. Maybe there was something wrong with you? Maybe because you avoided the love your parents tried to offer you in childhood you so easily would throw yourself at a stranger like Feitan. But... that didn’t matter to you. Feitan gave you a joy no one, not even your perfect family could give you, and all he did was smile at you one night. That’s all that it took for you to be head over heels infatuated with him.

Feitan had a spell on you. Unbeknownst to you, you also had the same very spell on him. Each of you caught in the other’s spidery web, waiting to be sucked dry. Both of your hearts pounding. Being together will only lead to your eventual demise but these feelings were snowballing fast. Nothing could stop the end now. Might as well enjoy the ride.

You were snapped out of your crazed thoughts when Feitan offered you another one of his bewitching smiles. The same as the night in the broom closet. You stifled a moan before smiling back, looking dumb with lust. He released a shuddering breath, calming his growing erection. The sooner this mission is over the sooner the both of you can lose yourselves in one another.

Feitan opens the door to the supply closet, on the other side the mayor of Glam Gas Land is sobbing uncontrollably. He weeps and begs, crawling to Feitan’s feet pleading for mercy.

“Disgusting. You cry for mommy? She not here. You give us check now.” Feitan orders. You giggle behind him as the mayor scrambles for the check without hesitation. Almost gently, Feitan plucks the check from the mayor’s plump fingers. The mayor waits with bated breath as Feitan turns around and places the check into your waiting hands. You preen at the contact made between your fingers, Feitan chuckled quietly, quietly enough that you don’t catch how amused he is at your antics. How the little things he does affects you.

The mayor begins sputtering and blubbering off their gratitude to Feitan for being spared.

“T-thank you! Thank you for sparing me!”

“Spare you? Since when? I never spare anyone...” Feitan said, sounding almost offended that the man before him thought he was about to escape this night with his life.

“W-what–-”

In the next second, the mayors head was laying on the ground at his feet. He hadn’t even realized he was no longer attached to his body. If anything, he looked more confused on the sudden change in orientation. You watched as the confusion in his eyes turned to realization and then slowly, they blanked as the color drained from the mayor's cheeks.

As Feitan cleaned his sharpened nails of the blood that stained them, you playfully huffed and crossed your arms over your chest.

“He was supposed to be my kill, Shalnark promised me!” You whined. Feitan turned to face you before quirking a thin brow.

“Shalnark not here.” Just as the words left his lips Feitan’s eyes widened a fraction as he noticed a large figure brooding behind you. He could recognize the man as the mafia boss you had following after you. In the frenzy to get to the basement and find the check you must not have realized you released your control of him. You were too distracted by Feitan and your exhaustion to realize your nen control was quickly dwindling. You’re foolish, before Feitan could react you turned to see what Feitan was seeing.

And as you did, a heavy fist was connecting with your cheek. You stumbled backwards but quickly caught yourself before falling. You held your cheek, pressing on it softly to feel the dull pain emanating from the flesh.

“Thats for killing all my men... you two and all your buddies aint making it outta here alive!” His face was red with anger and animosity. He truly hated you for what you had done to his family of crooks. He wanted to kill you, right here and right now.

He was going to be denied that pleasure. As angry as Feitan was at seeing you harmed like that, he held himself back to see how you’d react. Would you be weak and crumple down to be killed, or will you fight?

You straightened your back and stood to your full height before taking a deep breath. You pressed once more on your cheek. The pain fueling your own rage.

“The last time anyone got a hit on me like that I ripped their heart out... I’m not going to go so easy on you.”

[itskyleeyo]

hadestown brain dump (songs)

SPOILERS FOR HADESTOWN/THE STORY OF ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE

ok so it may have been more than a few days, but what're you gonna do about it?

so i wanted to do another brain dump, and i wanted to listen to hadestown, so i'm doing a song by song brain dump as i go along. this means that my thoughts are going to be even more stream-of-consciousness style (if that's even possible.) also i'm talking specifically about the original broadway cast recording bc i haven't listened to any other version. (also this was completed across multiple months so it is even more chaotic lmao).

also i highly recommend that you listen to the musical and/or pull up the lyrics as you go along! enjoy!

road to hell. the way andre brings in the chorus is flawless please. also the way that hermes is both a narrator and a character in the story he's narrating? beautiful. "the king of the mine." he sounds so nice here for some reason. also love his self-introduction "maybe it will turn out this time" no it won't but thank you for trying. also breaking the fourth wall to acknowledge the chorus and crew is so nice, here comes reeve ;) mans sounds like an angel. you can hear amber's voice stick out of the chorus and i literally love it so much. i'd die for amber gray but we'll get to that later.

any way the wind blows. the fates literally sound so perfect together. Eva's intro throws me off every time, she sounds so pretty. dear god the harmonies with the fates hit so different. can this cast please narrate my life? there's the wind comparisons ;D the "ooos" are so good. "and it ain't because i'm kind" idk i just like how andre sounds here. oh and the funny behind "so i took him underneath my wing" because hermes has wings on his helmet and shoes.

come home with me. orpheus is so oblivious but i love it. also eurydice is literally such a mood. the wordplay with "come again". the "oh, he's crazy" is my favorite part of the whole song. also eva's voice acting is so good.

wedding song. the way she says "lover"? my ass cannot handle this. eva sounds so smug in the beginning of this song and i love it. "sing the song ;)" eurydice is so fantastic. the chorus of "la" is so pretty. eva joining in during the end is just. so perfect.

epic i. hell yeah introduce the king and queen (both literally and figuratively). reeve's falsetto <3 the way orpheus looks to hermes for approval throughout the musical. hermes narrating over orpheus singing.

livin' it up on top. HELL YES THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED. i love amber gray so much. the gravel and the rasp. please step on me. also i love the idea of persephone being the wine aunt, especially because media usually portrays her as soft and breakable. the way she says "haaard". the way the music gets more upbeat and energetic when hermes says "the world came back to liiife!" the instrumental/dance? break is so good. please kill me with that trumpet good sir. the leadup to when amber starts singing again. orpheus really knows how to give a speech. "i will ;)" amber please step on me i am not joking.

all i've ever known (intro). thank you for the intro king. the music is so pretty. the way it picks up with the piano part <3

all i've ever known. eva sounds so pretty dear god. yay more wind references! the wordplay with "hold". and also the references to hot and cold throughout the musical. "i don't wanna ever have to let you go." lol ironic because she ends up going with hades. "i knew you before we met, and i don't even know you yet." the fucking wordplay. like holy shit. the "love at first sight" feelings. this line gets me every damn time. the wordplay from 2:10 - 2:38 is so fucking incredible. i lose it every time istg. the instrumental portion is so pretty. the wind! "we'll always be like this" i fucking love irony so much. its so underrated and adds so many layers to the story.

way down hadestown. amber gray. that's it. "you either get to hell or to hadestown, ain't no difference anymore". i fucking love this line so much. not really sure why but the delivery is perfect. also the whole thing with it being a train? i love that so much. all the allusions and comparisons they can make are fantastic. more amber gray appreciation. and ofc. the fates. more fantastic instrumental breaks. "and you better forget about your wishing well." this line is so good but so sad because its literally persephone saying that "hey, fair warning, life is shit down there" and i feel bad for her. like the way she's super sassy and shit, but just stops singing when hades gets there, you can tell that she's definitely not ok. speaking of hades, holy shit patrick page. sounds so fucking fantastic. thank you for existing good sir. eva with the breathtaking single lines. and eva's voice standing out when she sings "ground".

a gathering storm. the constant references to weather and nature throughout the whole musical. eurydice with the common sense. the wind again! "did you hear me, orpheus?" he did not, in fact, hear her.

epic ii. the different names for hades in each epic make me so happy. hades thoughts: "i think my wife might not come back cause i'm super controlling. whatever shall i do? oh, i know! be even more controlling!" lmao dumbass motherfucker. that might not work out so well. i fucking love the transition into "chant" so much.

chant. this is one of my favorite songs from the musical. the wordplay within the entire song is so fucking fantastic. hades singing about desire and then orpheus singing the "song of love" was definitely done on purpose and i'm living for it. every single one of eva's lines make me emotional. ma'am why are you good at everything?? the band! more weather references! patrick page singing "lover" hits different. orpheus singing about hades and persephone being blind and deaf. lmao irony because he's not paying attention to anything around him. the wind! weather! "the song of love" is what brought orpheus and eurydice together, but orpheus' devotion to finishing it is what drives eurydice to hades. "did you think i'd be impressed" i was right ;) it didn't work out so well.

hey, little songbird. the strings <3 patrick page is a god (lol i'm so funny). how does he manage to make manipulation sound so good? bird references! the vocal contrast! eva's voice has this kind of "innocence" to it. especially compared to patrick. not sure if that's on purpose or not, but i love it. also the low note kills me every time. the octave jumps between patrick and eva's voices is just. ugh. and also eva's entire second verse is so fucking good. the emotion she portrays in her voice is so spectacular. seriously hades with the manipulation is so interesting and its so good. (manipulation is not a good thing i just mean that its done so well in the show. do not manipulate people!)

when the chips are down (intro). "your ticket ;)" yes pls sir i'll take a ticket cause life sucks ass.

when the chips are down. i fucking love the fates dear god. gambling references! eva has literally one line and still owns my heart. the band! "shoot to kill" sounds so good like i love it so much pls. also this fucking line "cast your eyes to heaven, you get a knife in the back" is so good. i'm gonna have to get into quite a few lines throughout the musical in a different brain dump because i have so much thought.

gone, i'm gone. darling eurydice. its not your fault that you're starving stop apologizing. "talk of sin" lol she do be going to hell. that's funny. the harmonies.

wait for me (intro). the piano. heremes trying to change the subject hurts my heart. and orpheus' reaction is so sad please. "no.." just rip my fucking heart out, why don't you?

wait for me. the transition. andre coming in clutch with the narration. reeve sounds wonderful, as always. the fucking fates. just kill me already. they literally sound so good. the strings' build up between the "la"s. the chorus. the buildup at the end.

why we build the wall. the total 180 in the vibes. call and response has a special pace in my heart. mr page killing it again. god, hades is such a piece of shit and its perfect. he really is a master manipulator. fuck capitalism. the chorus sounds so good. i want to platonically smooch all of them. jesus fucking christ burn capitalism to the ground. the end is amazing. also the not-so-subtle references to slavery/forced labor.

why we build the wall (outro). i'd die for andre. "anybody want a drink?" yes ma'am. yes please. (don't drink, kids) i love you so much.

our lady of the underground. its so jazzy! jesus fucking christ. oh my fucking god. i would literally sell my soul for amber gray. what did we ever do to deserve her? god the raspiness fucking kills me. also love that she breaks the fourth wall to acknowledge the band. when she comes back in after the instrumental break? consider me dead. "what the boss don't know, the boss won't mind" she sounds so good here. also i love that she straight up doesn't give a fuck about hades here.

way down hadestown (reprise). hell yeah i love reprises. the fates. andre. the chorus. i love them all. i'm such a whore for reoccurring lyrics. the strings! fuck capitalism! eva's emotions are just so fucking good. "you've already forgot?" holy shit. this shit hurted. the "ahh ooh"s are so good.

flowers. the intro <3. eva sounds so pretty. the fucking symbolism in this song is incredible. i'm gonna get into this in another brain dump bc it's a very sensitive topic. the fact that she can't actually fully remember orpheus makes me so sad. so pretty <3

come home with me (reprise). hell yeah another reprise. the way the music is much more upbeat when orpheus shows up. their excitement! eva's vocal emotions are literally so fantastic pls.

papers (intro). "young mannn" kill me patrick. train references! hell yeah persephone. the way andre gets louder when he says "raised up his voice." eva <3. reeve just always sounds so pretty. ohmygod the laugh. kill me good sir. mans straight up admits to owning people and is like "it's cool tho cause they signed a piece of paper. def not taking advantage of people that are literally starving or anything. it's fine." fuck you hades. go step on a fucking lego. orpheus is so sad :(

papers (instrumental). yes. sounds so good. i'm imagining an epic chase scene. the transition into nothing changes <3

nothing changes. respectfully? the fates could kill me any day and i'd thank them. the weather reference! that "anyhow" is so fucking good istg.

if it's true. another one of my favorites. pop off intro. the broken "is this how the world is?" sadly, yes. "but everybody knows that walls have ears." is literally such a powerful line to me for some reason. it does a great job of bringing in the chorus. and by calling the workers "walls" it shows that hades views them as "less than." they aren't even referred to as people. "what's the use of his backbone if he never stands upright." oh my god. because they literally cannot stand upright. anais mitchell is literally a fucking genius. fuck the 1%. gambling references! the chorus backing him is just so pretty. the way orpheus looks to the chorus for advice and support. "we're standing." ugh its so good.

how long. oh my fucking god. amber fucking gray. (that's it, that's the post). the way she sounds resigned/disappointed when she says "i've had enough" makes me so sad. there are no words to describe how i feel about 0:25 - 0:41. like their relationship is strained, and super mega fucked up, but it's obvious that they still care about one another. the emotion in their voices throughout this song is fantastic. the play on light and dark. also more bird references! how they view themselves/their self importance. hades is a most importantly king. persephone is most importantly a wife. it really show that hades views power as more important than anything else. "nothing comes of the songs people sing." holy fucking shit. cause their song is the "song of love," but they can barely stand each other and their relationship has fallen apart. persephone commenting on his love of power over his love of her. amber's voice during "the earth must die" is so nice and for what? god i love her. they sound so nice together <3

chant (reprise). another favorite hehe. the strings! it's all just so pretty. when the piano comes in i die a little. the self realization coming from the chorus when they're like "oh shit, this is wrong. i don't deserve to be treated like this." is so fucking fantastic. the "young mannn" again! hades really be like "manipulate her! make her depend on you financially! i've been ding this a while kid! i know how to successfully control women!" reeve sounds so pretty pls. the way that eurydice has basically become part of the chorus (since she's just another worker now). more self realization! the different ways that hades and orpheus view the "song of love." "sing before i kill you so i can use it to manipulate my wife and make her feel like shit." patrick's voice tho.

epic iii. reeve coming in with that falsetto like nobody's business. orpheus really about to bite you in the ass with your own damn song. amber gray <3. the "ooo"s in the background. the way the music picks up when reeve gets to the "la"s. it's just so fucking good. that falsetto again. orpheus really looked at the king of hell, a literal god, and said "i want to ruin him psychologically" and it fucking worked. which is some of my favorite irony because hades wouldn't have shit if it weren't for that fact that he's a good manipulator and takes advantage of the needy. that last line <3

epic iii (instrumental). i have no words for how fucking beautiful this is. i so desperately want an extended version. like for real love this so much. if i get married, i want this to be the song for the first dance.

promises. eurydice is so proud of him for finishing. the way that eurydice realized that she cares about him more that material objects. wind and weather references! "if we can do it so can they!" she sounds so excited. :( "hand-in-hand" lol nope. not them refencing wedding song, anyway the wind blows, and then giving their "i do"s. absolutely heart wrenching.

word to the wise. the fates. pls step on me ladies. the lyrics throughout this are so fucking good. lol hades being damned. cause he's the king of hell. honestly its solid advice tho. humans are really fucking stupid.

his kiss, the riot. give us them adjectives king. " how dare people want rights! >:(" hades is really trying to make himself the good guy rn. the music! 2:15 - 3:03 is so good pls. the lyrics are just so spectacular.

wait for me (reprise) (intro). hello again andre! hermes literally says "he's trying to psych you out and manipulate you. he wants you to doubt everything" and orpheus says "are you sure tho?" and then procedes to doubt everything. the way the music changes is <3. the song transition.

wait for me (reprise). my absolute fucking favorite song in this musical. the first fucking lyric is so good. it really sets an expectation for the song and i am not disappointed. lyrics that talk about how fucked up any single person's brain is are so fucking cool to me. god i love this song. how soft the first set of "wait for me"s are. the support/pressure from the chorus. the entire exchange between hades and persephone. the way amber's voice sticks out of the chorus. the fates coming in clutch again. train references! more brain talk! amber gray please end me. eva sounds so pretty. and the final note is so good!

doubt comes in. the long intro that builds up suspense. the first time that orpheus's "la"s aren't echoed by the chorus/music. wind! weather! the fates sound so pretty like always. reeve genuinely sounds so scared. the way the music picks up and the chorus joins in when eurydice starts singing. the music is so unsettling and i love it. god i love his voice. 3:44 - 3:57 always hits so different. you realize just how much she means to him. how it all goes to shit when the music reaches the climax. the fact that the music clashes on purpose. the sadness in their voices.

road to hell (reprise). it all comes full circle. god andre sounds so sad. the way you come to really hear the lyrics because there's no upbeat music to distract you this time, "its a tragedy" lol because the actual written story is a tragedy. "i learned that from a friend of mine" poor orpheus :(. the way the chorus slowly joins in and the music slowly picks up. the "can you feel it" is literally so fucking powerful. fuck yes amber. fuck it up queen. amber and eva sound so nice together. the "its a love song, its a sad song" is so sad. the final lyric is just. ugh.

we raise our cups. yes pls amber. this song is so pretty. good night queen.