#jokes my love

[hellenhighwater]

My office divvies up part of our caseload alphabetically, and one of our secretaries just sent me a new file that's not in my part of the alphabet. Because I'm so very helpful I responded:

Moments later, the printer in my office fired up and spit out this piece of paper:

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[iknowmorethanyou]

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[spaceistheplaceart]

more ford and mabel bonding because i said so :)

bonus ford under the cut:

[rationales]

[chimchiri]

gideon & harrow OR rd and sf as cowboys please please please

It's the cowgirl necro and her gunslinger cav! Who is so damn extra she's got three guns: one left, one right, and one in pole position! (She swears the ladies love it!)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The squad of all time has arrived on scene.

[hyperblue]

one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason

some random reporter: who's your favorite child?

bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally

dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason

tim: rest in peace

[franeridart]

I love dragon btw

[teddybeartoji]

best friend!satoru watches you laugh with hearts in his eyes. completely and utterly smitten. doubled over and clutching onto your stomach, you curse at him – you beg him to stop, to just close his mouth for one second, so you could catch your breath.

but no, he's relentless.

you swear the jokes aren't even funny but the ache in your cheeks and the tears in your eyes say otherwise. you hide your face in your palms and satoru itches to move your hands because fuck, he wants to see you. but the laughter will have to do for now.

he whispers another stupid comment right into your ear with a bashful smile glued to his lips. his cheeks hurt, too. dusted pink, his skin burns from your attention and affection – he's a weak, weak man and he isn't afraid to admit it. you have him wrapped around your pretty little finger and he fucking loves it.

his eyes grow wide when you suddenly reach for him and press your palm against his mouth. raising your gaze from your lap, you find his pretty blues and his heart almost bursts. explodes. implodes. there isn't a proper word for the feeling.

you stare at him and though he can't properly see your lips from this angle, he knows you're still smiling.

"please, stop... "

your voice has grown raspier, your throat sore from the torture he's put you through. satoru hears the smile in your tone.

slowly, he moves his head from side to side and against your palm, you feel his.

smile lines and happy tears, it's a special kind of love.

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

[bruciemilf]

Bruce being so smiley and happy around Robin! Jason shatters me so intimately. Soft as hell if this continues when Jason’s red hood, too.

“Robin,” Bruce calls him that out of habit and isn’t at all surprised when Jason swiftly punches his arm, only to rub the place a moment later, even if Bruce barely notices. “This is not the time for jokes.”

“ Three o’clock is always the time for jokes. You scheduled it.”

“Nightwing was turned into a rabbit. And you’re laughing.”

“Have you seen the guy’s Tik Toks? This is as dignified as he’ll ever be.”

Jason is very sure Dick can understand them, because he’s biting hard through his boots. Even harder when Bruce snorts and presses his lips in a white line.

Don’t get me wrong, thought, it’s vice versa.

“I think we’re gonna have to kill this guy, B.” Talking about a guy who cut the line in Batburger while Cass was trying to order.

Bruce, in his Batman voice, “fuck!”

Jason has one of those laughing fits where you get on the floor, breathless and limp. “This brings up memories.”

“ROBIN.”

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[iknowmorethanyou]

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[e-vay]

[forrpercyy]

convinced I could tell someone who doesn’t know what pjo is that it’s a romance novel because

“the way her pulse aligned with mine when we held hands.” and “it looked as if our hands had merged, fused together at our life lines.” are such insane lines to be putting in a book meant for middle schoolers 😭