#jokes my love
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My office divvies up part of our caseload alphabetically, and one of our secretaries just sent me a new file that's not in my part of the alphabet. Because I'm so very helpful I responded:
Moments later, the printer in my office fired up and spit out this piece of paper:
#god i love my coworkers#our secretaries are great i adore them#to be clear this was a joke and was taken that way by the secretary in question
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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#nostalgia#memes#cute#meme#jokes#dank memes#funny#love#animals#cats#cats of tumblr#haha#humor#lol#kawaii#nature#photographers on tumblr#puns#pets#photography#wholesome#writers on tumblr#writing#grunge#goth#aesthetic#anthropology#artists on tumblr#art#my art
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more ford and mabel bonding because i said so :)
bonus ford under the cut:
#gravity falls#stanford pines#mabel pines#sort of a sequel to my previous post. sort of. or a prequel? an inbetweenquel.#op art#comic#ford may be a bit ooc here i just wanted the joke of him doing garish makeup from other dimensions on mabel and her loving it#meanwhile its a mess#but somehow still somewhat looks good?#as for how ford knows how to apply makeup? uhhhh#he had to disguise himself somehow across dimensions...
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#megan thee stallion#in her words#megantheestallionedit#mtsedit#*#the way i cried through most of the documentary that's my girl fr i love her down she is so strong#all them 🥷🏿 who ever mocked what happened to her or supported/defended t*ry need to die painfully and i ain't even joking shit was sick
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gideon & harrow OR rd and sf as cowboys please please please
It's the cowgirl necro and her gunslinger cav! Who is so damn extra she's got three guns: one left, one right, and one in pole position! (She swears the ladies love it!)
#You just KNOW gideons makes tons of these 'is that a gun or are you just happy to see me' jokes#She holds the third gun in her mouth#looking so damn stupid but grinning like shes the coolest lmao#how are you even going to shoot girl#also: the paint has to get onto the skin somehow#hmm. lot to think about...#that was such a fun prompt dear ! I ended up enjoying this waaaaay too much <3#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#I'm not gonna tag it griddlehark but in my mind this IS griddlehark - because this outfit would make Harrow go insane lmao#not that she'd ever let griddle take one step outside looking like that if we're talking serious#but it's a look - a look I LOVE#tlt#the locked tomb#my art#requests
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The squad of all time has arrived on scene.
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#Cithis Ofri#Pattadol#Fleki#Lycion#Otta#Happy Canary Debut Day! These guys wont really get to be very present until the next season of Dungeon Meshi#But I can still be excited to see them animated!!!#Shout out to Pattadol - I also tend to occupy 'The Punchline' niche of the friendgroup.#The punchline differs from 'The Jester' who willingly absorbs the jokes. The punchline is often unwillingly the joke.#You are either the one no one likes or the well beloved little-sibiling-esque friend. Good luck figuring out which!#Yes it is canon that Otta is into Women. YES she dates younger women and dumps them when they age.#This isn't a fan made bit. It's real.#Dungeon Meshi has no romance but it does have canonically queer characters.#Shipping is fine and all but it is a running theme in the series than *everyone* who expresses romantic interest in someone -#-finds that love unrequited. Just something to be mindful of to measure your expectations of this series!#Ah! In other housekeeping notes; I'm going to *try* and add Alt Text to my dungeon meshi thurday posts going forwards.#I might not be able to do it day of but I will try to get it done within a week.
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one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason
some random reporter: who's your favorite child?
bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally
dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason
tim: rest in peace
#dc#dc comics#batfamily#bruce wayne#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce: i love all my children equally#also bruce five minutes later: idc about dick#this is a joke btw#although. i Do think that bruce is one of those parents who clearly love certain kids more
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I love dragon btw
#my sketches#one piece#monkey d luffy#monkey d dragon#jokes aside hes my little guy i truly love him#these latest chapters are only giving me more reasons to hes so !!!!!!!!!!!!#also the thought of newborn luffy in 2.5 meters tall dragons arms………….#Delightful
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best friend!satoru watches you laugh with hearts in his eyes. completely and utterly smitten. doubled over and clutching onto your stomach, you curse at him – you beg him to stop, to just close his mouth for one second, so you could catch your breath.
but no, he's relentless.
you swear the jokes aren't even funny but the ache in your cheeks and the tears in your eyes say otherwise. you hide your face in your palms and satoru itches to move your hands because fuck, he wants to see you. but the laughter will have to do for now.
he whispers another stupid comment right into your ear with a bashful smile glued to his lips. his cheeks hurt, too. dusted pink, his skin burns from your attention and affection – he's a weak, weak man and he isn't afraid to admit it. you have him wrapped around your pretty little finger and he fucking loves it.
his eyes grow wide when you suddenly reach for him and press your palm against his mouth. raising your gaze from your lap, you find his pretty blues and his heart almost bursts. explodes. implodes. there isn't a proper word for the feeling.
you stare at him and though he can't properly see your lips from this angle, he knows you're still smiling.
"please, stop... "
your voice has grown raspier, your throat sore from the torture he's put you through. satoru hears the smile in your tone.
slowly, he moves his head from side to side and against your palm, you feel his.
smile lines and happy tears, it's a special kind of love.
#MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#i love laughing with him#i love his stupid jokes#that are NOT funny btw#they're not#mkmmmmmmm#(i say while laughing)#angel boy#wtf mickey can write#gojo x reader#gojo fluff
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inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is
#sorry this was funnier in my head#but after i read that post I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT#gen z batkids is the most Cursed thing i've read today and i love it#at first i had so many Thoughts about how my brain CANNOT reconcile tim as anything but a 90s kid but then i read that line about damian and#i feel like they'd mess with him sometimes by randomly quoting memes in unison#almost started to overthink how in This Particular Timeline jason might have missed out on this meme because he was Not Alive#but for the purposes of this silly joke i choose to believe dates are irrelevant#that is all thank you#clarisse doodles#batfam#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd
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Bruce being so smiley and happy around Robin! Jason shatters me so intimately. Soft as hell if this continues when Jason’s red hood, too.
“Robin,” Bruce calls him that out of habit and isn’t at all surprised when Jason swiftly punches his arm, only to rub the place a moment later, even if Bruce barely notices. “This is not the time for jokes.”
“ Three o’clock is always the time for jokes. You scheduled it.”
“Nightwing was turned into a rabbit. And you’re laughing.”
“Have you seen the guy’s Tik Toks? This is as dignified as he’ll ever be.”
Jason is very sure Dick can understand them, because he’s biting hard through his boots. Even harder when Bruce snorts and presses his lips in a white line.
Don’t get me wrong, thought, it’s vice versa.
“I think we’re gonna have to kill this guy, B.” Talking about a guy who cut the line in Batburger while Cass was trying to order.
Bruce, in his Batman voice, “fuck!”
Jason has one of those laughing fits where you get on the floor, breathless and limp. “This brings up memories.”
“ROBIN.”
#I know it in my heart Bruce and Jason have a special look where they make fun of people together#in a very mother daughter way. anyway I just want others to be freaked out by batman giggling quietly after red hood made the worst joke#in human history.#I love them#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#jason todd#batdad#batman#text#batfamily
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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#nostalgia#memes#cute#meme#jokes#dank memes#funny#love#animals#cats#cats of tumblr#haha#humor#lol#kawaii#nature#anthropology#photographers on tumblr#puns#pets#photography#wholesome#writers on tumblr#writing#artists on tumblr#art#my art#grunge#goth#aesthetic
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#obviously i know what happens to shadow. this is just a joke#but seriously i love him with my whole heart#Sonic movie 3#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#keanu reeves#Keanu!shadow#sonic trash
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convinced I could tell someone who doesn’t know what pjo is that it’s a romance novel because
“the way her pulse aligned with mine when we held hands.” and “it looked as if our hands had merged, fused together at our life lines.” are such insane lines to be putting in a book meant for middle schoolers 😭
#pjo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackson and the olympians#percabeth#this is a joke#they’re so insane#they’re so in love#i miss my babies#chalice of the gods
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