#joker scenario

[gravitysoda]

refusing an impossible wish and settling for one last game of chess.

[madamedramatics]

A scenario where Shepard jokes with Vega, saying she's practically Garrus' wife now after she promotes him to her XO during the war, resulting in them unintentionally spending a lot more time together.

The joke goes over Vega's head, and he goes to congratulate Garrus personally. Garrus is confused, and Vega promises to keep the "secret marriage" a secret. Garrus now has to figure out how in the hell he accidentally proposed to and married a human and how is he supposed to tell his dad he missed the unplanned wedding and the ceremonial meeting of his fiancé. He was almost 30, but this was going to get him grounded for at least another 30 years or maybe even life.

Was he supposed to get his new wife a gift? Where they supposed to get matching tattoos like Turians? He could've sworn he read somewhere that humans consummated their vows the same way Turians do. Where did he go wrong dammit!?

He adores the idea of Shepard being his wife and loves knowing that she was so excited that she even told Vega about it. He just now has to figure out how he married her in the first place without her knowing he doesn't know. Because then she'll think he never wanted to marry her, and that is NOT the case. Maybe Tali will know? No way. She'd just call him a bosh'tet. Wrex will also call him a professional idiot. Liara won't judge, but he's sure she still hasn't gotten over her crush on the Commander, and he doesn't want to rub his new marriage in her face. Maybe Joker will tell him if he promises him the new fornax issue.

Garrus has had his fair share of giving his dad a pseudo aneurysm, but this one was going to send him into cardiac arrest for sure when he finds out his son married a woman the family didn't even meet. He needs a drink...after he finishes bribing Edi to scrub away everything she just heard him say out loud.

Garrus doesn't know that Vega is the galaxy's worst secret keeper, telling Shepard he's keeping the secret marriage a secret unwilling to let Shepard convince him that she's actually not married yet. She goes to see Garrus to have a good laugh about Vega's idiocy but walks into Garrus telling Edi he will use Shepard's override if she doesn't get rid of something.

Garrus is absolutely mortified and gives the cheesiest greeting to his "wife." She assumes Vega already brought the joke to Garrus but she's not overlooking him trying to be suspicious with Edi. He recovers, mentioning it was for his sesrch history for a gift he wanted to get her. He did intend to get her a gift so the phrase wasn't a complete lie...

She jokes about it and calls him her husband. Garrus, the realist he is, does not take this as a joke. She leaves him to his vices, and Garrus is now in a full-blown panic. He needs to understand what he did, and he needs to know now.

(If my brain gets any more random ideas, I'll at least finish and provide a resolution to this concept, lol. Feel free to offer your own ending)

[demonadelem]

The funny part is that I will always find someone in the fandom that denies the sibling dynamic because B doesn't think of the caretaker as a parent. Buddy, B doesn't need to.

[whump-in-the-closet]

“What hurts more?” A swing of the crowbar. “This?” Whumper paused, and then another, across the back of Whumpee’s knees. “or that?”

[swrkn]

Hello!!! I really love your Oliver fic 😭 could you do joker or sangho just fluff if it's fine ofc I'm not forcing ❤️

𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

Joker (hajun) x g/n reader

Genre : fluff ; sfw

Author note : thank you so much for your request, and thank you for the compliment on my first fic :)) i have a fic for joker in my drafts, so for now im gonna do some headcanons , and I’ll publish it later ! Also those are my personal headcanons , so if you don’t think my headcanons are accurate, please don’t be mean 🙏

Author note 2 : i really enjoyed doing those headcanons so i think i’ll do more , and also some with sangho since you asked ;) My request are open !!

⇨ Protective

Joker is low-key protective of Y/N, though he'd never openly admit it. If they're biking together, he'll instinctively put himself on the side closer to traffic or obstacles, keeping an eye out without making a big deal of it.

When you and Hajun go for a night ride through busy streets, he'll always position himself on your left side, closer to traffic. You notices he does this every time but never points it out, as it's his way of protecting you. One night, a car honks a bit too close, and without thinking, Joker reaches out, gently steering her closer to him. "You alright?" he asks, trying to sound casual, but his hand stays on your arm until he's sure you’re safe.

⇨ Act Tough But Melts Around You

Joker has a "tough-guy" image, but you are the one person who can break through that. When you're alone, he's surprisingly affectionate and lets his guard down. Play with your hair, hold your hand, and even rest his head on your shoulder if he's tired.

After a tough day at practice, Joker shows up at your place looking frustrated and tired. You open the door, pulling him into a hug. He stiffens for a second, but then relaxes, letting himself melt into your warmth. He doesn't say much, just rests his head on your shoulder, breathing in deeply as she rubs his back.You tease him for "acting soft," and he just grumbles, "Only for you."

⇨ Late-Night Talks

Sometimes, You and Joker will have deep, late-night conversations that can last for hours.You both stay up talking about dreams, fears, and everything in between. He trusts you in a way he never trusted anyone, and you’re the one person he feels like he can be his true self around.He's opened up to you about his insecurities and what it's like balancing being a big brother with his own goals.

One summer night, you're lying side by side on a quiet rooftop, staring up at the stars. Joker starts talking about his childhood, sharing stories he rarely tells anyone, while you listen quietly, sometimes just holding his hand when he pauses. You opens up too, and you spend hours sharing memories and dreams, both of them feeling like they're closer than ever.He tells you things he never told anyone, realizing how much he trusts you.

⇨ Lets You Braid His Hair

One day, as a joke, you suggested to braid his hair, thinking he'd refuse. But to your surprise, he agreed, even if he tried to play it off like he didn't care.Now it's a little tradition between you and him. When you're just relaxing, you'll braid his hair, and he'll sit quietly, feeling oddly at peace. He actually finds it relaxing but would be mortified if anyone else knew.

During a lazy afternoon, you were both watching a movie a his house , with him leaning on you, letting you style his hair. As you braid, you notice he's relaxed, eyes half-closed, enjoying the quiet moment. Later, when his two littles brothers came in and burst out laughing, Joker just shrugs. "What ? She did a good job." he says nonchalantly, not caring about what his brothers are saying.

⇨ Always Comes Back to You

No matter how long his day's been or how tired he is, Joker always finds himself wanting to see you. You are his safe space, the person who keeps him grounded, and whenever he's with you, he feels like he finally found a place to rest. He doesn't say it often, but he thinks you are his world, and every ride, every victory, every day somehow feels better just knowing you are there , beside him

One evening, after an exhausting day, he texts you, asking if you’re free. When you agree to meet him, he feels his mood lift immediately. You don't have to do anything special; just being with you is enough to make everything feel better.

⇨ A Stubborn Romantic

Joker tries to act like he doesn't care about romance, but deep down, he's more romantic than he lets on. He'll surprise you by cooking your favorite meals, remember small things you mentioned about yourself, and even bring you your favourite treats every now and then. On special occasions, he'll even plan something for you, like a ride at dawn or a picnic by the river, even if he insists he's "not doing anything fancy."

For your birthday, Joker plans a quiet picnic next to a hidden river. He pretends it's "no big deal," but he packed your favorite snacks and even brought a small blanket to sit on. When you ask him if he went to all this trouble just for her, he simply says, "Don't get used to it." But the sparkle in your eyes , and seeing you this happy , was enough for him to know that if he can see you this happy , he would do it again and again.

✵

[yandere--stuck]

If you're still taking requests, would you be able to do something again with Arkhamverse Joker?? (Or even Scarecrow, ANYTHING with that skinny lil horror boy please) I love ALL of your Batman work.

Just give me anything, I'm starving for some dark and creepy batvillians.

“Alright, sweetheart, just tell me who did it,” The Joker cooed from behind you, his hands resting at the plush blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

Both you and The Clown stood in front of the maw of the Sionis Steel Mill. You hadn't been outside in so long. The thought of making a run for it flitted through your mind, but you just as quickly discarded it. Joker was holding you pretty tight, but even if you broke free from his grip, presented before you was a line of Joker's men desperate to do anything to gain their boss's favor. And even if you made it through all that, you were smack dab in the middle of Arkham City. If the elements or starvation didn't get to you first, it'd be the other inmates - especially if they had gotten any inkling you might be precious to The Clown Prince of Crime.

Somehow, beyond all odds, you were the most safe in the arms of Gotham's most dangerous criminal.

Even with the multiple layers covering you, the wind cut through you like a blade. You'd been dressed in specially made pajamas the Joker commissioned, layers of winter clothing, and a large blanket he'd wrapped you up in before escorting you outside. And it made looking upon Joker's gang all the more uncomfortable. 

Compared to you, Joker's men wore precious little. Tank tops or sleeveless hoodies, some wearing no top at all, old worn pants, and their very own clown masks. You couldn't see their eyes, but you imagined that behind their masks, they glowered at you. Why wouldn't they hate you? After all, you were why they were freezing out here. Their boss had given them orders to never, under any circumstances, allow any harm to be brought unto you.

And then, Joker found the bruises.

“I don't want to get anyone in trouble,” You insisted, craving your neck to attempt eye contact with The Joker.

“Nobody's in trouble,” The Clown nuzzled you, voice almost a purr. “I just want to know who did it.”

You bit your lip. Something burned and swirled like a whirlpool in your stomach, rising to your chest. “It was my fault. I bumped into something.”

“Darling, it's okay. I'm not mad. Just point ‘em out for me.”

Your lips quivered and you screed your eyes shut. Burying your face in your hands, your whole body shook. You couldn't do this. You didn't want to. Sure, the guy roughed you up, but at least he didn't fucking kill you. And maybe whoever did it was a criminal at best or monster at worst, but you didn't want someone to die at the hands of The Joker because of you. You weren't supposed to be here. You were supposed to be in Gotham proper, living your ordinary life and not in Joker's base. You weren't supposed to be the object of Joker's obsession. You shouldn't have had to be transported around by goons, goons who were already frustrated and pissed as it was, and only exacerbated by their boss’ obsession with you and threatening them if he even thinks they're looking at you.

God, why was this happening to you? You just want to go home! You couldn't even scream, couldn't even cry, not now, not like this-

One hand released its grip on your shoulder to press against your back and brush soothing circles against you.

“Honey, baby, sweetie-darling, there's no reason to be upset!” Joker hushed. “You're not in any trouble. I'm not mad. I just want to know."

Still shaking, you dared to turn and meet the Clown's gaze. Puffing out a cloudy mist in the icy cold air, you ventured, “You promise you're not angry?”

The Joker beamed, holding up a hand. “Scout's honor!”

The both of you stared at each other for a long moment. His pupils were dilated, acidic green eyes nearly swallowed up by his dilated pupils. He stared back at you with utter adoration. 

Really, him being angry would have been less terrifying.

With a shaky exhale, you nodded. Ripping your eyes from him, you surveyed the crowd. The man in question wasn't hard to find. You knew the mask well. Lime green hair, a red clown nose, red, painted-on cuts and marks across the mask.

He was one of the henchmen ordered to transport you from one part of the base to another. You'd been terrified, shaking, near hyperventilating, and scared stiff to the spot. And he had grabbed you tight enough to bruise and shoved you through the halls, the other goons following behind. Just remembering it lit a spark of fear and anger in your gut. And even still, you hesitated to call him out.

Shivering, you slowly raised a finger to point at him, your digit like a death mark.

“Him,” you breathed out.

“Him?” Joker asked, pointing at the same man.

You nodded. You fought the urge to squeeze your eyes closed as The Joker waved him over.

The masked man approached both of you. You couldn't help but lean further into Joker. You tried to convince yourself it was the cold. He stopped a few feet away, but Joker motioned him even closer, until he was almost right on top of you both.

“This true, Bud?” Joker asked.

The masked man held his tongue for a moment. His whole body seemed tense. And if you had to guess, he was likely glaring daggers at you from behind the mask. And then finally, a soft sigh escaped him, body relaxing as he nodded. 

“Yeah, boss,” he admitted. “It was me.”

“And do you have anything to say to my darling here?”

Your breath caught in your throat as the goon turned directly toward you. You tried to keep totally still. Don't flinch. Don't show fear. You could feel his gaze burn into you. And Joker's grip tightened on your shoulder. Maybe reassuringly. Maybe possessively. 

The masked goon paused, simply staring at you, before he gave a lazy nod. “Yeah. ‘M sorry.”

Huh. That wasn't so bad. Turning to look at Joker you saw him nodding. A relieved smile began to bloom onto your face as you turned back to-

The sound of unfolding metal hit your ears. A gloved hand stretched out and yanking through hair. The stumbling forward of a body and. Your eyes widened as Joker grunted, pocket knife sinking into the man's throat.

He held it there for a moment, looking deep into the eyes of the man behind the mask, before wrenching the knife out. Blood spurted from the man’s neck as he gurgle, clutching his throat. Again, Joker struck, plunging deep into the man's neck and ripping it out. Again. Again. Again. And all you could do was watch, eyes the size of dinner plates and mouth agape in horror.

You finally found the ability to move your body again, and you hunkered down, hiding your eyes with your hands and stumbling back as Joker continued his assault. You shivered and shuddered, beginning to cry. You couldn't see it anymore, but you could hear the sounds of the blade meeting flesh, the desperate and violent gurgles of someone drowning in their own blood, the quick and sharp grunts of Joker as he plunged his knife in and out in and out in and out in and out-

You couldn't tell how long it went on, only that at some point, you couldn't hear anything else besides Joker's shaky breathing and the harsh whistling of the wind. Your hands and cheeks stung from cold and tears.

When you dared to uncover your eyes, The Joker was looking back at you. As if he was waiting for you to see - to see your attacker's head barely connected to his neck, near decapitated. The moment he saw the recognition in your eyes, the man's body was dropped like it was nothing.

"But, but," You stuttered, mouth trying to catch up with your mind. "You said, you said you weren't mad?'

"Not at you, darling," he smiled adoringly. "Never at you."

The Joker pocketed his bloody knife and clapped his hands free, addressing his men. “Now, let that be a lesson for all of you,” the clown leaned over to wrap an arm around your shoulder. You quickly cuddled into his hold (but only because of the cold. Only that and nothing more). Joker finished with a grin, “anyone who hurts my darling gets the same.”

Breathing heavily, your eyes surveyed the reactions of the henchmen. For some reason, you felt torn on how you felt about them. Pitied Joker's treatment of them, but was highly aware of their perspective of you being an obstacle, inconvenience, or even enemy-

You nearly jumped as Joker brought you out of thoughts by a kiss to the cheek. You were quickly turned around, The Joker guiding you inside and nuzzling against your cheek.

“You must be so stressed out, dear! C’mon, let's get warmed up inside and watch some cartoons!"

And when you're both inside, curled up together in a mound of blankets and cartoons playing on the screen, you tried to convince yourself tje obly reason you held him back was out of fear and to keep out the cold.

[yeonbam]

joke in episode 7 preview: and for my next trick I will yearn so hard your heart will clench at the thought of my sorry little face for the rest of the week

[silverwhittlingknife]

OKAY SO i have been rereading dustorange's wonderful post here about Dick in an UtRH-esque scenario where he dies & then comes back to life

AND I HAVE INCOHERENT BRAINSTORMING THOUGHTS:

so first, i think Robin!Dick would be just as hurt by the discovery that Bruce has a new Robin, and brood about it - but i think the shame of having died would stop him from confronting Bruce about it the way Nightwing!Dick does in canon.

and I do NOT think that he would expect Bruce to kill anyone for him (or even be upset that he doesn't? I just don't think this would be a consideration for Dick. he's gonna be fixated on "I failed." so he'll be upset about being replaced but not about the lack of revenge. and if Bruce did take revenge, i think he'd actually feel angry and betrayed about that because it'd feel like the choice was taken away from him, a la how upset he gets when he thinks Bruce has arranged to have Zucco killed - even if he intellectually knows that Bruce wasn't deliberately undermining himbecause he didn't know Dick was gonna come back to life.)

anyway so what WOULD he do??

what comes to mind is something along the lines of "Dick obsessively keeps an eye on Batman & Robin even while telling himself that he's not"

and then - say - if it's Robin!Tim (i feel like this has to be Tim because in the world where Dick dies there is no way that Bruce is voluntarily picking a new Robin), then maybe the moment when Dick steps in is when Bruce is in danger & he's furious / critical of Tim for not protecting Bruce well enough

and i feel like that's how he'd channel the hurt feelings - it'd all be deflected under shame and obligation, and then translated into the anger of "you replaced me & yet you're failing to do the job that you're supposed to do" (which is actually about projection/self-hatred because Dick would actually be mad at himself for having died & not doing that job anymore)

and Dick wouldn't want to see Bruce at all because of the shame over dying & subconscious fear that Bruce doesn't want him back, plus every little thing that Tim does differently would drive him NUTS because it implies that maybe the way Dick did things wasn't good enough for Bruce

i'm actually kind of fascinated by this now. because i am me and i have (1) obsession i am mostly invested in the dick & tim side of it sdfsdfds

so i'm picturing Tim very stung by whatever critical things Dick said to him & tracking this mysterious vigilante down, and then Dick doesn't want to spend ANY time with him BUT he's also subconsciously desperate for news of Bruce!!! so then something something Dick starts sorta training him a la Tim's various contacts with edgy non-batman-aligned vigilantes, and Tim's very defensive about how he IS a good robin so THERE but of course he's also defensive because he's secretly worried he's not good enough.

normally i would have tim Recognize dick since recognizing dick is tim's most basic skill HOWEVER i think it would be much more fun if tim doesn't recognize him so he can give dick a speech about legacy & the first robin: "i do x and such because that's how the first robin did it so it is Objectively Correct." which Dick will find incredibly infuriating but will be unable to counter since he cannot counter with 'the 1st robin was ME'

…hmmm i do think Dick ought to be angry about SOMETHING about batman's methods/attitude just because that's more dynamic? I feel like in order to make the adaptation work, there ought to be SOME kind of argument with Bruce right before he dies that he can still be mad about, a la the garzonas fight for Jason and Bruce. unsure what though?

okay let's see: I feel like Dick's main arguments with Bruce aren't about vigilante issues per se so much as they're about working in a team - so e.g.

1) Bruce being controlling/demanding, and 2) Bruce being secretive and doing stuff behind Dick's back, and 3) Bruce not allowing Dick enough autonomy, 4) just generally a perceived lack of trust.

SO maybe whatever The Frustrating Thing that bruce was doing when dick died is a thing he's STILL doing with this new robin, and dick is getting frustrated all over again sorta on tim's behalf but mostly on his own behalf because he never got to resolve this with bruce

but anyway that way when Bruce finally spots disguised!Dick, then they can have the fight again before Bruce realizes who he is <3

[sketchy--akechi]

safe room

[jasonsbruce]

um al, what were you going to say? finish that sentence please

[montimer]

Joker x reader scenario(?)

Joker: They say if you really love someone you let them go. Well i say if you really love someone you lock them in ur basement and never let them go!

Reader: (•ᗝ•)

Reader: (•︹•)

Joker: (•ᴗ•)

[lyricsandpapers]

The Three Stooges living through the Divorced Parent Arc

[spiritsglade]

there's a parallel here and it's making me ill

[toecrust69]

Y/n: why don't you trust me?

Damian: Because you think Instagram likes are more important than starting your own company and making money

Y/n: But it is!

Damian: Really?

Y/n: Yes!

Damian: Ok then, name someothing you can gain from Instagram likes

Y/n: Some bitches

[flwrkid14]

What If Tim Drake Was Never Rescued? The Making of Joker Junior

Tim Drake never became Robin. He was just a smart kid, a quiet shadow with a camera, trailing the Bat and the rogues of Gotham, digging into the mysteries of the city’s underworld with a tenacity that should have earned him a place beside the heroes he admired. But then, one night, he dug a little too deep, got too close. Joker noticed him watching, eyes bright with curiosity, and that was it—Tim vanished off Gotham’s streets, just another lost kid in a city that moved on.

Except Tim wasn’t really gone; he was Joker’s new project.

The Joker didn’t just lock him up. He broke him down, with every taunt and twisted trick. Tim’s mind, once sharp and resilient, became the Joker’s playground, his personal canvas. Joker saw the spark, the intelligence, the raw potential in him—and Joker loved breaking things with potential. Each day, he wove his madness deeper into Tim’s mind, twisting and warping his reality. Tim tried to hold on, to remember who he was, what he cared about, but every moment was a fight, and Joker didn’t play fair.

Days bled into months, maybe years. Gotham moved on. The city forgot about the missing kid who’d once admired heroes. But Tim? He stopped thinking of rescue, stopped imagining life outside of Joker’s twisted games. His laughter, once warm and genuine, turned sharp and hollow. Joker’s cruelty became his comfort. Eventually, the line blurred until there was no Tim Drake left—only Joker Junior.

It was Joker who gave him his new name, laughing as he handed him the purple suit. “You’re a real chip off the old block now,” he’d sneered. Joker Junior didn’t protest. He just put the suit on.

The transformation was complete. He’d become Joker’s perfect apprentice, a wild-eyed agent of chaos, dancing through Gotham’s streets with a smile too wide, eyes too dark, and laughter that sent shivers down people’s spines. The innocence he once had was gone, replaced with Joker’s venom, embedded so deep it felt like his own.

One night, Batman finally tracked him down. He’d been following the mysterious “Joker Junior” across the city, tracking the strange sense of familiarity in the kid’s movements, the way he seemed to know Gotham’s streets like the back of his hand. They clashed on a rooftop, Joker Junior dodging and weaving, just like… just like Robin. Bruce caught a glimpse beneath the mask, a flash of familiar features, and his world seemed to tilt.

“Tim?” Bruce choked, his voice breaking. For a second, Joker Junior stilled, his eyes meeting Bruce’s.

But then that dark grin returned, the twisted mask of the Joker’s protégé. “Tim’s gone,” he said, his voice too casual, too familiar, too empty. “Joker taught me better.”

And as Bruce reached out, trying to connect with whatever was left of the kid he’d never saved, Joker Junior slipped into the night, his laughter echoing behind him.

[funzige-gedachten]

Pov: you ordered pizza and these weird slovenian men show up