#john krasinski imagine

[nouearth]

candy-wasted.

john krasinski x male reader.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. with halloween coming to a disappointing end, what's a better way to end the holiday than to get candy-wasted on john's offer of his king-sized candy bar?

𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓. one-shot [ 6.7k ].

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. male reader 〳 domestic!au 〳 halloween!au 〳 husband!john 〳 established relationship 〳 kissing 〳 sexual content: top!john, bottom!reader, anal penetration, rough!sex, no prep, breeding, spitting, blowjob (r!giving), pain kink, slapping, spanking, armpit fetish, humiliation, degradation, body worship, cock worship, over-stimulation, extremely hung!john.

“Think that might be the last of ‘em,” John said, shutting the front door and turning off the porch light. “Not a single Lydia Deetz, Ennui, Deadpool, or Wolverine costume in sight.”

It was Halloween night.

Declaring Halloween as your favorite holiday would be unjust to the true fanatics. More than anything, you loved the celebration for the atmosphere. You loved the smell of autumn coming into full bloom by virtue of artificial cinnamon and apple in soy candles rather than the fresh leaves withering outside. You loved driving by neighborhoods to see all the houses that had been decorated, fictionalizing a house-decorating competition in the process. You loved how spooky TV would get, from horror movies to reruns of old sitcom episodes that had a Halloween theme.

Most important of all, you loved taking your kids out to trick or treat with John, watching them outgrow their costumes every year and growing teary-eyed at the likelihood that they’d eventually stop having you and John come along with them in favor of their friends.

Even though you mentally prepared yourself for the moment, you weren’t expecting this year to be the time where your son and daughter would tell you that they would be sleeping over at a friend’s for the celebration. As if there was any option for you and John to protest too, it suddenly struck you how quickly they were becoming their own person, because they had already packed their bags the night before.

But also—damn you, for raising them to be so direct.

When John returned back to the couch, you glanced at the bowl.

“Do kids these days not go trick-or-treating anymore? We’re doing less refills than usual,” You took the half-empty bowl from him and rummaged through the assorted candy bars. “When I was a kid, I used to circle my neighborhood multiple times because I was determined to not end the night with a barren bucket. I also knew my parents would steal from my stash whenever I was asleep, so that was another incentive to prolong the pain in my little kid legs.”

You knew you were babbling and were beyond caring. From the smile John gave you, he seemed more entertained by the endless vault of childhood stories than the horror marathon you two had started since six o’clock in the evening.

“All those candy runs seem to be paying off considering your calves are the size of bowling balls,” John laughed, arranging your legs to lay them across his lap as you resumed lounging. To prove his point, he began unzipping your costume’s pant leg one-by-one, ventilating your ankles and calves finally free from the tight spandex.

You breathed a sigh of relief when the draft in the air chilled the sweat on your skin, then another, when John’s large hands began stroking and kneading at your legs. You probably should have guessed that John had other intentions in mind since his hands only traveled north, in which your calves were nowhere to be found.

But what would be the fun in calling out your lover’s extremely apparent advances? For a brief moment, you two sat in silence, putting the TV on mute because the marathon had run its course, but also to hear the sound of John’s hands, calloused, warm, and large over the plane of your body, exploring you and the ribbed costume like he was learning texture for the first time.

It had been quite a long time since it was this quiet in the house. You had to have accidentally said it out loud, or John’s telepathic abilities were only awakened on Halloween night, because he was looking at you like you had whet his appetite, hazel eyes cataloguing your body like it was a dirty magazine, lips bitten in secrecy.

“What’s on your mind, Captain America?” You let your legs wrap around John’s waist when he pulled you to sit on his lap, fixing his tousled hair with a smooth swoop of your hand, and affectionately squeezed his large shoulders after.

God, John filled out his costume so well. No wonder you couldn’t stop glancing at him throughout the night, the tactical suit made him look much larger and imposing—you couldn’t help but run your hands all over his body and his tight muscles beneath the fabric, the contoured lines of the costume was practically inviting you to do so.

“I’m thinking… the neighborhood is quiet. I’m thinking that the kids are preparing for bed, and that the parents are drunk off their children’s candy stash, which means you can finally take it easy for tonight, Spider-Man.” John’s smile was terribly broad. You could feel him fiddling with the pull tab on the back of your costume with one hand while the other was caressing the side of your thigh, nearing dangerously closer to your rump.

It was a cheap costume that ran for no more than forty bucks, which meant you could feel the heat radiating off of John’s palm.

“Take it easy? I’ve been taking it easy. I got my popcorn, some king-sized candy bars, a scary flick, a rather inquisitive man holding me…” You shivered when his hand paused on your right buttock and squeezed. “Nothing’s beating this right now.”

He began kissing your neck, his beard ticklish and feathery over your flesh. “Really? Nothing at all?” Both of his hands were on your rump now, massaging tenderly at the handful of thick flesh in his palms.

You must have indulged in the warmth and strength of John’s grip on you for far too long, because out of the blue, he began knocking the silence out of you with strong smacks to your ass, drawing out a collection of moans and grunts from you as he fixated on marking up your neck until your mouth was in vicinity.

When his strong palms came down onto your cheeks again, your lips parted at the right moment he would seize them, capturing your mouth for a slow, languid kiss. John’s lips tasted like a celebration. You could feel the crumbs of sugar from the fruit ropes he was eating prior roll off his lips and onto your tongue, flavoring the kiss of green apple. You moaned, gently holding at both ends of his jaw, while your hips grew conscious of how your body was reacting to John’s tongue invading your mouth, pressing your growing tent against his pelvis with slow rolls, pushing your ass out to meet his hands.

“Nothing at all, unless…” You groaned when the stinging over your covered ass was only heightened by the unrelenting grasp John had on your ample skin. If he wasn’t so busy tonguing your mouth open, you wouldn’t be surprised to find him tearing your costume into two within the next second. “You have something to bestow upon me?”

“Ever heard of a monster-sized candy bar? I got one that’s filled with vanilla cream for you, specifically curated to your taste buds. What do you think? I’ll trade ya’.” The spirit of Halloween affected him as he laughed into the kiss, the tip of his nose crinkling in effect and swiping over yours when he resumed in exploring your mouth.

“I think it sounds like a trick, you a con-man?” You lightly pushed at his chest to break from the kiss, then lingered to silently admire his well-built pecs. You weren’t sure if you were more turned on by John’s hard-work and dedication, or the fantasy of him as a superhero—saving you from your ultimate demise.

Regardless, your hips only rutted harder, swooping low to brush your erection against his, then raising them high, to grind your rump over his arousal.

“Keep moving your hips like that, and you’ll find the answer soon.”

An inquisitive hand of yours reached in between John’s thighs. It didn’t take long, hardly a millisecond, to find what you’d been searching for.

The mass in your palm was overwhelmingly large and thick. You felt your throat go dry when the weight of John’s bulge was heavy enough to unfurl itself within his suit, across his right thigh, and reach to a point of hardness where one hand of yours found it impossible to tame it alone.

You stroked the enormous print, focusing on the apparent head with your thumb, and then squeezed. Hard.

“Fuck, (M/N). Upstairs, now.”

As you sat on your knees, the scent of arousal filled your nostril. There was something enthralling about this position, being bare and naked on the carpet, while you were looking up at John’s hard cock through your lashes. He was already monstrous enough, but the angle from below provided insight just exactly how jaw-dropping his size was.

“I’m sorry I doubted you, Captain. What would you like in exchange?” Bracing your hands on his strong calves, you nuzzled the underside of his erection. You sucked in a breath at the smell of it. The heat and musk built from a long day of work, finally released out into the air, tickled your nose pleasantly and made your mouth water. “‘Three musketeers?’ ‘Butterfingers?’ ‘Hershey’s?’” You slapped his heavy cock over your lips, mouthing over the tender spots of his glans.

He had his arms behind his head, exhaling slow and steady, sporting an expression that told you he was the luckiest man alive, not that you needed that affirmation, as you held his cock tight around the base and suckled at the plump, pink tip. “How about ‘(M/N)’s Pieces?’ Yeah? Is that up for grabs?”

You could feel his hairy thighs tense up when you taunted him with the tiniest licks over his heavy, full balls. It was amusing, watching his cock jolt over your face—like they were envious of such half-hearted actions.

“You mean, the candy that would make a kind and handsome dad, such as yourself, turn into a ferocious beast of a man?” Holding John’s lustful gaze, you took a long and slow lick at the underside of his shaft, the girth of it thicker than the width of your tongue.

You felt complacent when he let out a hoarse moan upon pressing your nose deep into his cock-slit, inhaling deep. “Yeah, that one…”

You traced the prominent veins on his cock with your tongue—thick, pumping blood vessels that made him throb over your mouth with rage. “You know, you’d have to work really hard…” Between fondling and suckling his full sack into your mouth, you stroked his shaft and muttered, “To break me into pieces.”

It was difficult enough to maintain some semblance of order, but the taste of John’s sweat, blooming delicately and stimulating your appetite like an hors d’oeuvre, made you nearly submit as your knees felt inclined to spread wider, and wider, letting you enjoy your last moments before you’d yield.

You hoped you were distracting John enough, being caught in the middle of humping the air and fucking yourself back on some imaginary dick would’ve gave him the upper hand.

“I do—oh, fuck…” He choked back on a moan, the heat of your mouth as you suddenly slid his cock inside melted the composure off his face. His thick shaft strained, stretching your wet mouth uncomfortably. The chances of you taking all of John inside of your mouth was slim to none. You’d done this so many times, tried everything, from practicing with a dildo to enduring the tears welling, to get him down your throat, but your body wouldn’t give in—it simply couldn’t.

He was much too big for your own good.

John was large. Tall. Always has been, and always will be. His muscular legs were open wide, his face was slack-jawed from your tantalizing tongue, and even though you could barely fit half of his cock inside of your mouth, you were still in control.

You pulled him out with a gasp, nearly choking back on the spit pooled in the back of your mouth, and sniffled. “You do? You sure about that?” There was no doubt that the inevitable was going to happen. Gagging on John’s large cock was a given, but it was the messiness of it all, that made your cock leak. “I don’t think you can handle it.”

His cock was coated thick and heavy in a glorious sheen of spit, translucent pearls shining on the veiny skin. One hand was massaging his balls while the other was adamant in slicking him up until the weight of your own saliva was enough to weigh him down.

You temporarily freed John from your fist to slap his wet and large cock around. It was delectable, watching his giant tool swing from the impact of your smacks. Webs of thick spit occasionally flung to your face, as if his dick was fighting back against your horrendous taunts, but all you needed to do was tame it with your mouth again, and the reign on John’s body resumed.

“I am, and I can…” John grunted, his abdominal muscles flexing. You could see his toes curling into the carpet at the corner of your eye, swirling your tongue over the swollen pink head while the rest of his monster cock was being man-handled by your quick hand, tightly grasping to keep your hand from slipping.

“You absolutely sure?” Your words turned him on, his cock maddening in course as it spat out drips of pre-cum from the squeezing grip you had around his shaft.

The substance wouldn’t stance a chance against your urges, you eagerly went on to lap it up, forcing more of the viscous fluid to come out with competitive strokes to aid.

“I’m sure—baby, come on, enough—“ He struggled to contain his moans, arching his hip forward to push himself further into your mouth, but you wouldn’t have it. Instead, you reeled yourself back, slapping his cock once again as punishment, and remained at tip’s length.

You could tell he was getting frustrated, you knew of his mannerisms for years now. For God’s sake, you were his husband. His jaw tightened and his eyes leered down at you with sudden alert—like a silent warning. He exhaled sharply as if the draft in the room had infected his strong body with frostbite.

Nonetheless, you continued entertaining yourself, knowing the consequences—anticipating them, rather.

You tongued the urethra of his dick, welcoming every drop with greedy sucks, all while you hadn’t left John out of your sight for a single second. You could make John orgasm right then, you were so sure of it.

“You really, really, really sure?” Your smile was smug, feigning innocence while you mouthed on his thick piece of meat, stroking yourself to the copious amount of pre-cum leaking from his tip.

John’s gaze immediately darkened.

He loved watching you slap his dick across your face. He loved being in awe at his own size, especially when you’d shower him in praises as you compared his big cock to your forearm.

I’m going to break my ass taking you, John. Holy fuck…

He loved having his dick sucked, point blank period. How sloppy it could get, how nice his cock felt when it was being slimed up with such pent-up arousal. You were confident that you were over-delivering in that department too because the lower half of your face was dripping in your own saliva.

“What’s the matter, big man? You don’t want to fuck me anymore? Break me into pieces like you originally wanted to? Think you won’t satisfy me enough?” You pursed your lips over the plump head, provoking John by the sudden languid pace of your wrist. “Answer me,” You slapped his large cock again, your own erection throbbing from watching John grit his teeth in sudden refusal to give in.

“Are you sure or not? Huh? Answer me,” John sucked in his teeth every time you smacked his cock, and you proceeded to hound him harder, narrowing your tone. “Your cock’s useless. Can’t satisfy me. Can’t satisfy a fucking flashlight with how big it is.”

“Ghoul got your tongue, or what?” You smacked his cock hard. “Your big fucking cock—” His cock swung. “—seems to be doing—” Pulsed in a fit of pique. “the speaking for y—“

A harsh slap cut your taunts short.

You let out a gasp, your hand instantly coming up to hold your cheek and tranquilize the stinging pain. Shock crossed your face, bewildered as though you hadn’t been anticipating his catharsis the entire time.

“Enough,” He pulled you up by the jaw to meet your lips hungrily, his large hands clamped tight around your neck like you were fresh carp farmed for hatchery. “You’re really testing me today, aren’t you?”

The kiss was searing, your lips volunteering themselves to be bitten and sucked to be forgiven upon the increasing pressure around your throat. Maybe you were still coming to terms with the slap, but it swallowed you whole nonetheless, rendering you incapable of producing a single coherent thought.

You whimpered softly, his resentment was beyond recall as his hands remained solid, one thumb looming over the center of your throat, “Hit me again—“

He stabilized you with one hand around your throat, squeezing tight, and let his other hand swing across your cheek, harder than previously.

“F-fuck!” You could feel your cheek blooming with heat, stinging as if a million of rose thorns had prickled your skin to poison you with its color, and you couldn’t have asked for more.

It was too good. John’s large hand imprinted hot on your face, and it felt too fucking good. You were branded, an extension to the wedding band around your finger, a reminder of your undying love for him.

“Get on the fucking bed,” John growled, tugging on your lower lip with his teeth, slow yet imposing, before sending you away with a gentle kiss on your stricken cheek, a much-needed relief you had been silently clamoring for.

The metal clanking behind you sounded like church bells, but you resisted the temptation of looking over your shoulder, fearing that whatever John had in mind, he’d strip it away upon your lack of diligence. You crawled onto the bed on all fours and anticipated nervously

At long last, you felt your royal throne crumble into a million pieces.

You suppressed an urge to swear. The heat emanating from a strip of leather when he struck your ass was bartered directly with the devil himself. Another peep out of you, and John would’ve banished you to hell to pay your dues to the fallen angel.

“It was cute, I have to admit…” Your body jolted when John muttered near your hear. In the time his hand was soothing your whipped ass cheeks, the other had a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back for you to look at him. “Seeing you think you had control over me, even going as far as to humiliate me and my cock—did that make you happy? Huh?”

“I-I don’t know—“ You struggled to find the words, your mouth parting instead to lean in for a kiss in hopes to distract him, but John quickly caught on. He knew you, very well in fact, yanking your head back harder to coax a gasp out of you. As John had expected, he then pushed a thick wad of spit into your mouth before pulling you by the back of your neck into your original position.

You shuddered, smacking your lips at the arousing taste of John’s saliva spreading in your mouth. You savored him, wanted John to last forever on your tongue. You didn’t want to swallow. You wanted to simply let his spit pool with your own and mix into the perfect elixir that would work perfectly as a muscle relaxant, something that would greatly aid you in taking John’s cock—knowing the likelihood that he wouldn’t be easing up anytime soon.

“Answer me.” Your eyes widened in a silent plea when John taunted you with the belt in his hand. Before you could moan out so much of a beg, the leather in John’s hand came down swinging at your buttocks and seemingly cut through flesh. In turn, your four limbs gave out from the electrifying bolts of pain, making you collapse onto your stomach from the arresting strength of John’s resentment as you cried out in pleasure.

“Oh, fuck! F-fuck, fuck, fuck…!” You writhed in bittersweet glory, choking back on swears and instead, what came out were delicious straggled sounds that made John’s cock uncontrollably pulse. Your hands roamed the bedsheets, clawing at the silk material in search for a physical outlet to release the tension in your body. “I-I’m s-sorry—“

His cock was near you, lubed up in a thick, alluring sheen. Maybe John wouldn’t mind if you held him. Plead for him to stop with lazy, but abiding stroke. You bit your lips and stretched over to grab him.

He lifted your head again for you to face him. You sniffled, letting the tears roll down your flushed face before another wad of spit would accompany them in their journey. “You’re not answering my question. Were you happy?”

Upon barely brushing your fingers over the head of his cock, you reeled yourself back when the belt came striking down on your ass again, breaking skin as repercussions to your hedonistic behavior. Your legs came up to kick back at the air violently, grinding out the pain by digging your swollen cock into the bed.

You had enough.

You needed John.

Now.

“Y-yes! I was fucking happy! Watching your large cock swing like that. Degrading you to the point where you were too ashamed to answer me. Abusing your pathetic tool because it’s too immersed in its own girth to know that I actually despise your cock. Should’ve seen the look on your handsome face—god, I could’ve came right there. All because I was in control. You fucking let me, you fucking delusional self-obsessed cuck—”

At breakneck speed, John curtailed you of your vigorous speech by shoving your face into a pillow, mounting on top of you with one foot pressing hard to the back of your head, and grunted, “How do you like me now?” Pushing all of his body weight to vault you out of an escape route, you felt his cockhead suddenly breach your hole.

“Holy—shit!” You sobbed at the discomfort, kicking your legs back as John pushed more of his large cock further in, adding onto the painful stretch of your unsuspecting hole. You felt his a palm on your ass, spreading one cheek open to aid the slide. “Fucking, more—Johnny! More, more, more—“

“There we fucking go, fuck. Look at that hole. Fucking swollen around me, and I’m only halfway in,” he licked his lips, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his forearm as he loosened your raw hole with shallow thrusts, his cock pushing deeper at every rut.

Your body’s natural reaction was to propel yourself up for some air, but after the first turn, John instantly took both of your wrists and bound them behind your back, your back muscles squeezing in effect. When you pushed your ass out, his foot pressed harder like it had the power to bury you six feet under if John had no concept of restraint.

It was painful, all of this, your neck was hurting, but especially your hole, his unrelenting thrusts—but, be that as it may, you were so happy that you didn’t have to remind John to leave you unprepared. Otherwise, the pleasure of John’s large cock gutting you raw wouldn’t have overstimulated you, not to this profundity. Your wriggles only made John hold onto your wrists tighter, his heel press deep into your nape, you were sure it would be bruised by the next morning.

You felt so used, your body at his disposal. Your cock was painfully rubbing between your pelvis and the bed from the impact of his strong thrusts, but you were leaking and throbbing nonetheless, staining the sheets from the thrill of it all—of being John’s personal fuck-toy.

“Feels fucking incredible. Shit, baby—“ His cock was digging into you like an excavator, slow in its journey, but you could feel him sowing excitement deep into you, nearing the crown of your prostate with the grind of his hips. You clenched tight, gripping your aching walls around the girth to provide John an incentive to go at you harder.

Not loose enough.

He had to fuck you open.

And you were desperate.

The perks to being married was that pleasuring one another came second nature to both parties. Luckily, you led a charmed life, and John was here to bestow upon you your weekly demands.

He released his foot on you, but you groaned when he pressed his remaining weight on top of your writhing body. “If you’re good…” John panted hot on your shoulders, accompanying the abruptly slow roll of his hips with chaste kisses to the shell of your ear and the moist parts of your neck. “Maybe I’ll let you play with your cock.”

“Please…” You flexed your toes into the sheets when John nearly pulled himself out, thankfully leaving only the swollen tip in.

“No, I had a change of heart. Maybe, I’ll let you jack off until you explode all over your sweaty body,” you pushed your ass back to slide more of him in, but a hard smack to your ass nipped your oscillation in the bud. “Don’t push your luck.”

“I’ll be good—promise…” you looked over your shoulder at John with glistening eyes and a sniffle, finding yourself frowning when he pulled himself completely out, and insisted on rubbing his wet cockhead over your raw, blossomed pucker.

“See? This is how it’s supposed to be—the natural order between you and I,” he sighed, giving into your desperation, and pulled you in for a sweet, lingering kiss after releasing your hands. A sigh of relief, you braced yourself half-way up with an elbow, the other hand reaching back to rest on John’s nape, and locked his lips deeply into yours, pacified by the soft fur of his beard on your chin.

His tongue messily swiped over yours as you both had intended to explore each other’s mouths. You two met in the middle, bridging each other’s spit from one mouth to the other. When a dribble of drool dared to leak from the corner of your mouth, John had incredible foresight and was already lapping it up before it could trail to the bottom of your chin.

“Say you love my cock…” John whispered, swaddling you into his arms from behind and carefully maneuvering your body on top of him as he switched positions, reclining himself onto his back.

Interlacing his legs with yours, John then pushed them apart with the spread of his knees, twisting his ankles over your own to lock you in place. He angled his hips to slide his dick over your taint, letting you wallow in the sight of his plump tool nearly curve over your throbbing erection.

“I love your cock…” You muttered softly, nuzzling the side of his kempt beard. The smell of bourbon vanilla lingered delightfully in your nostrils as you watched him from the corner of your eye, drooling when you caught a glance of his large cock spit thick drips of pre-cum over your balls.

It was fruitless to even try to attempt to close your legs, John’s calves overpowered your own by tenfold. In spite of your wish, John compensated by reaching below, trailing his warm hand over your ribs and stomach in passing, and wrapped his hand around your cock, slowly pumping.

“Say, you’ll be a good boy for me…” Brushing your hair back, John claimed a hold over the back of your head, raising his left arm to welcome your face into his armpit.

You moaned at the warm, musky odor. The thick hairs reeked of sweat. Salty and slightly spicy in your nostrils, yet you couldn’t help but inhale for more, breathing in the natural pheromones and making your cock dribble out ample amounts of pre-cum when the aroma of John’s masculine scent fogged your passing judgement, and had you licking at his pit.

John cradled the back of your head, quickening the strokes on your cock seemingly as a token of his appreciation while you buried your face in the bush of dark hairs, nuzzling and licking long stripes over the plane. It was addicting, yet embarrassingly filthy as it registered how easily John had reign over your freewill. Your spit gathered in the center of John’s armpit, where the hairs were grown the thickest. They were beads of your devotion, and you couldn’t have felt prouder marking your territory.

Your mouth watered and tingled at the ripe taste lasting on your tongue, then, when John suddenly tipped your chin up and spat inside of your mouth—you felt like you were in heaven, like your body wanted to crumble in front of him from the intimacy of it all.

He captured your lips again, and you muttered softly, “I’ll be a good boy…” You watched him with lustful eyes, anticipating his next move. His right hand had stopped stroking your cock in favor of massaging your tight balls, making you squirm with desire. When his other hand released his hold over the back of your head to toy with your perky nipples, the simultaneous pleasure carried a hoarse tune of desperation out from your throat.

“You’ll be daddy’s good boy?” He nuzzled your ear, kissing the shell of it.

“I’ll be whatever daddy wants me to be,” you slowly rolled your hips when you could feel John line his cock over your hole, lubing your pucker with the thick fluid leaking from the crown.

“And you want daddy’s big cock?” He rested one hand on each thigh respectively, spreading your legs farther by the aid of his knees.
 “I’m aching inside…” Your cock twitched upon feeling so completely vulnerable and bare for him.

“Then, let’s turn that ache into pleasure, shall we?”

That was all it took. A heartbeat, a single push of John’s hips, one strong stroke, and he claimed his territory. It was beautiful. Your silky flesh fluttered and clenched on his cock, and your eyes popped open wide when he slammed upward.

John ripped a glorious moan out of you. Your neck strained with beautiful veins as your attempts to bite them back were powerless in comparison to the spark of passion in John’s hips. You could see the very moment the fire flared in John’s eyes, his fingers gripping a mound of your thighs until they had turned white.

You were filled to the root, uncomfortably-so as John’s biceps bulged with strong veins on account of the bend of your legs. He capsized them, holding them back at the crook while he deliciously hollowed your hole deep with his monster cock, your feet dangling in the air from the pure drive.

It was a reminder. That you were his. That you were his only. Nobody could ever own you like he owned you now. John made sure those thoughts wouldn’t dissipate by making sure you felt every inch of his plump, meaty cock burrow in and out of you. John was adamant in making this more than a memory. He wanted you to wake up and sleep thinking about him. Thinking about his cock. Thinking about how brutally stretched you felt right now, and that you didn’t mind at all—because it was John, your loving husband. He would do anything for you, and right now, he was living up to his many vows of loving you fiercely, of completing you, of loving you forever and every day.

“T-too much, John—“ It wasn’t, you were lying—it was fucking perfect, but god, did you love making your husband feel powerful. You loved feeding his cock with arousal, feeling him throb harder while he pummeled himself faster into you at your spoken truth. “Cock’s too big—“

“I’ll make a cunt out of you, wear out your tight little hole until it’s leaking like one,” He growled. You cried out from unabashed lust, holding your legs back to expose yourself further, and John set the animal free at the depiction. He held your waist, dragging your unsullied hole through his hardness until only the tip was left before connecting the drop of your weight with a powerful thrust, punching into your prostrate.

“That’s what you are, right? My good little cunt? Just a good boy who can do nothing right, but take my large cock.” John gutted loud moans out of you, his gaze locked on your wrecked expression because watching you take his cock was equally as gratifying as sinking himself of you, down to the root. “Say it. Say you want daddy to make a cunt out of you.”

You were falling in love with this animalistic side of John. With the sensations he was supplying and overwhelming you with. Your cock was sure to agree, throttling as if there was a phantom hand stroking its shaft.

“I want—a fucking cunt. Want daddy to make a cunt out of my hole, please—“ You felt deviant, like those words shouldn’t have left your mouth, but it was all the worthwhile because John kissed you hard on the mouth, groaning.

Up to the hilt, John thrusted into faster—harder as you choked back on a moan and nearly gagged on his tongue. “I’m going to fill you up with so much of my cum, you’d be leaking for days.”

“Oh, God—“ You gritted your teeth, exhaling loud and hard because it was coming. Your stomach clenched and your balls tightened without the need of your hand.

“You’d be lucky to walk tomorrow, (M/N). You’d need my help walking you down the stairs. Even then, I wouldn’t be so sure if we’d make it to the floor. Knowing the prospect, I’d just take you right then and there, on the fucking stairwell, making your ass gape once again.”

“John, s-stop—I’m going to—“ Your eyes rolled back until John could only see whites. His words supplied you with the mental picture of the filthy smut coming out of his mouth. It came to you naturally—the smile on your face. You were broken in your state of reverie, dazed by the fantasy of taking John’s cock anywhere and anytime he pleased. Using you however his mind and body desired like he was now. Balls-slapping against your taint, sweat sticking your body to one another, pants and groans loud in your ear, the air thickening with the act of pure lust, pounding into you with no intention in letting you recover your breath. “S-stop, fucking coming—“

“Look at me,” John ordered you, panting.

Your eyes were heavy when you looked up, mere slits from the weight of your desires, heavily drugged by John’s poisoning rapture on your wrecked body. You pressed a smile against his mouth, making no attempt to kiss him, but to simply be in close proximity, pressing his nose against yours. He grappled at your hips, digging your insides with the weight of his large cock, piercing into prostate harder and faster as he took a bargain on your orgasm coming to a near.

You were stunned, the gutting you were enduring from John hitting you like a ton of bricks. You emptied your throat of sounds, the inner walls dry and scratched like the desert. All you managed for John was vigilant whimpers, any more forewarnings were fallen on deaf ears as you’d been knocked into a trance that melted your speech into meek garbles of incoherency.

It only took a few more seconds before your brain rewired itself and had your body floundering within John’s loving embrace, alerting you awake. With the help of John’s cock continuously assaulting deep at your prostate, you felt your body tense up, your hole clenching around pillar John’s pistoning staff to stop him, but he prevailed, breaching through the resistance, and slammed hard into your prostate once more, splitting your ass open and knocking the orgasm out of you.

John held your gaze, marveling over the ecstasy in your otherwise blown-out expression. His brows furrowed in utter fascination as your mouth parted open, only for your moans to adhere to your throat instead, blowing your load in agonizing silence. Thick ropes spurted powerfully out of your throbbing cock, splattering messily over your chest. With the buck of your hips, you graced your face with your cum-shots, additionally provoked as John used the strength of his heels to lift himself to meet you at an elevated height, fucking the cum out of you.

The sound that came out of you was guttural, transporting you into another dimension where you were caught in a whirlpool of toe-curling sensations. Rubbing a hand over your stomach, he could feel it sink in as you liberated yourself from your high, uncontrollably spilling over your pelvis in midst. Yet, despite your dazed state, your eyes never left his, provoking him to come inside of you with desperate, but gentle murmurs on his lips, as well as the addition of the ring of muscle spasming around his shaft.

“Fill my cunt up, make me fucking leak…” You showered his lips in soft whispers, finally releasing your grasp on your legs to stroke at his cheek. Squeezing, caressing, urging—for him to seal your hole.

On the drop of your legs, you squeezed them close together until your knees touched, confining his shaft between the clamp of your inner walls. You clenched hard when he was buried to the root, foiling the pace of his hips, and let your swollen insides bring him closer.

“Oh… shit…” John’s eyes rolled back, and finally spilled with a shudder.

His large cock jerked deep inside of you, and soon, you felt his warm seed fill you to the brim. You felt your bond with John transcend, higher, beyond space and time, with every pulse of his thick veins pumping cum deep into you.

Upon capturing John’s lips for a kiss, he circled his hips, making you moan languidly into his mouth. You swallowed every breath of his, swirling your hips against his own cautious thrusts in retaliation, gratified by the warm, thick coating of cum your insides were receiving, soothing your spellbound hole and stirring his connection to you.

“Didn’t hurt you too bad? Think I slapped you too hard.” John asked softly, gently rubbing a palm over your stricken cheek. You could see guilt in his expression as he brought you closer to claim your lips The moment was soft, the complete opposite of previous events, silent apologies to your mouth as John’s mouth was lingering, yet electrifying all at the same time as he sucked on your lower lip.

“You. Were. Perfect.” You warded off the guilt with a smooch after word, rubbing his chest. “I asked for it, you know that. It was fun, wasn’t it? Something different to spice up the bedroom.”

“Hm…” He laughed at your sudden eagerness, as if you hadn’t been debilitated from his cock moments prior. Tucking one arm behind his head, his other hand idly began petting at your head. He retired for the night with the shut of his eyes, contemplating on their newfound kink. “Let’s see how I feel when you’re the one slapping me next time. Then we can judge it accordingly.”

“Holy shit…”

“Mhm.” “I’m pulling out the dumbbells. Too late to go back on your word now, John.”

“Wait, now that you—“

“Not a single word, or I’m making you call me ‘Doctor’ as an early punishment.”

“We both know how this will turn out. I just need to pull my dick out, and you’ll be back onto your knees, no matter how much you try to resist.”

“I… plead the fifth?”

nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!

[starrgazed22]

THE OFFICE'S HALLOWEEN

Jim Halpert x gn!Reader, but Pam and Dwight are also in this. :) Word count: around 600 Summary: Reader needs to quickly think of a Halloween costume to not get K.O.'d by Dwight's ego. Author's note: I became obsessed with X-men again after seeing Deadpool & Wolverine and I've got this idea! Enjoy!

As you step into the office, a sinking feeling hits you like a ton of bricks. The atmosphere is different today, buzzing with an excitement you can't quite place—until you look around. Every single person is in a costume. Pam at the reception, with her whiskers carefully drawn on and a headband with perky cat ears, looks up at you and offers a soft smile. Across the room, Kevin stands proudly in a superhero costume that’s almost comically tight, and, unsurprisingly, Angela is also in a cat costume… and Phyllis too.

You freeze for a moment, dread creeping up your spine. Halloween. How could you forget?

You walk to the reception, greeting Pam. Then, like a scene from a horror movie, you catch sight of Dwight. He’s sitting there, shrouded in a long black hooded robe, his eyes piercing you.

“You’re late…” Dwight announces, his voice dripping with ominous intent, clearly trying to stay in character.

“Yeah… there was crazy traffic down there,” you respond, scrambling for an excuse.

He inhales deeply, then lets out a dramatic sigh, clearly enjoying his role a little too much. “What are you supposed to be?” His tone suggests he’s already anticipating your failure.

Your mind races. You can’t let him know you forgot it was Halloween. That would be handing him a victory in whatever unspoken battle the two of you are constantly fighting... sometimes three of you, when Jim joins.

You need to think of something fast. Something that’ll completely throw him off.

You got it.

Dwight opens his mouth to speak again, ready to announce your defeat. “I could’ve—” he starts.

You cut him off, smoothly drawing your index and middle finger up against your temple and squinting your eyes in concentration. “—thought so…” you finish his sentence, trying to mimic the deep, contemplative voice of someone who’s just accessed the hidden corners of their mind.

Dwight’s expression falters for a second, his usual expression of suspicion giving way to genuine shock.

“I am Professor X, Charles Xavier,”you declare, trying to sound as confident as possible.

He snorts, immediately slipping back into his usual skepticism. “No you’re not. He’s bald.”

You roll your eyes. “Jesus, just imagine him young!”

“He was always bald, because of his mutation, dumbass,” Dwight snaps back, and you can tell he’s savoring this moment.

You lean in closer to Pam and whisper, “What a nerd.”

Pam stifles a laugh, as she watches you stroll to your desk, which, unfortunately, is directly across from Dwight’s.

“And you are?” you ask, gesturing to his dark, ominous ensemble.

“I am a Sith Lord,” he declares, his voice dripping with melodrama as he pulls back his hood slightly, revealing his intense, steely gaze.

You tilt your head and smirk. “Oh really? I thought you were having an identity crisis. No offense.”

Dwight opens his mouth, ready to retaliate, but he’s suddenly distracted by the sight of Jim walking in through the door. Jim is wearing his usual attire, except for three black circles taped to his shirt.

Dwight is done. “And you are supposed to be?”

Jim glances down at his shirt, then back up at Dwight with a grin. “Three punch holes, Dwight. Normally I’m just Jim. Today, I’m three-punch-hole Jim.”

Dwight stares at him, annoyed that no one seems to take Halloween seriously here. “You’re both so boring. Seriously, you’re made for each other,” he mutters, shaking his head as if the sheer absurdity of it all is too much for him to process.

Jim gives you a look, clearly remarking the last sentence Dwight said. You can’t help but blush slightly. Suddenly Dwight storms off in disgust, robe billowing behind him like a dark, disgruntled shadow, making you, Jim and Pam laugh uncontrollably.

In this bizarre office, it’s the small victories that matter, and you and Jim know you’ve just won this round without even trying.

Another author’s note: I know Professor X as James McAvoy had hair in the films, but they only know the X-Men with Stewart + I read somewhere that in the comics he didn’t have hair at all so Dwight may be right. :D

[drewsephrry]

okay so i have come to a realization

if you don't know, i am a huge fan of sitcoms (any recs are welcome)

so i was rewatching the office and my favorite character has always been jim and i couldn't help but notice (don't call me crazy) that he looks a lot like drew

so i did a side by side to send to one of my best friends and she agreed with me on this

so i want your opinions too!!

[sorryahwhat]

Is anybody out there still writing Jack Ryan x reader fics? I recently watched the whole series in a few days and I can’t get enough. He is so hot 🥵😱 I really would love some slowburn stories 🙏��� or any Jack Ryan x reader ❤️‍🩹

[trailertrends]

Unveiling the Whimsical World of IF: Ryan Reynolds Shines

Estimated Reading Time: 2 minutes 30 seconds Introduction: “IF,” directed by John Krasinski, is an enchanting film that blends fantasy and reality to explore themes of imagination, family, and the power of belief. Featuring a stellar cast including Ryan Reynolds, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, and Fiona Shaw, the film invites viewers into a world where anything is possible. Plot Summary: The story…

[lilislegacy]

has anyone seen that video of john krasinski talking about going through customs and when the passport dude found out he was married to emily blunt, he was all really? YOU?

does anyone else feel like that’s how some people would react to finding out annabeth is with percy lol? like obviously we all know percy is the most powerful, adorable, hilarious guy ever. everyone with a pulse is (rightfully) in love with him.

THAT SAID. percy acts like such an idiot. we know he’s intelligent, but strangers do not. he’s just so ridiculous all the time. and annabeth is so… well, not ridiculous. and especially if they’re someone who knows she’s the legendary demigod annabeth chase, one of the prophetic 7, wisest daughter of athena, she who found the athena parthenos.

like just imagine them at a bar or party or something

annabeth: that’s my boyfriend over there

person: oh the one with the light curly hair

annabeth: no that’s will. the one with the dark hair

person: oh the bulky guy?

annabeth: no thats frank. the one up there

person: the one… the one who’s wearing the finding nemo t-shirt and… is crowd surfing while… eating a churro…?

annabeth: that’s him!

person: …really?

person: THAT guy?

annabeth: yes 🥰

[daphnethebanjolover]

Thoughts on IF

Also known as "Ryan Reynolds Looking Hella Fine for 1 hour 44 minutes Straight"

You gotta watch this movie. Don't ask why. Just do it.

I've always wanted to know what Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends would look like in a live-action setting, and if John Krasinski has to be the one to bring that to life, then so be it.

I will admit, I was confused at the beginning as to why Bea was at the hospital when the mom was already dead.

Before I say anything else, the soundtrack. This is why music is in movies. The music always seemed to fit both the specific scene and the whimsical mood of the film as a whole.

Also, the CGI. All of the IFs fit seamlessly into the live-action scenery without being excessively photorealistic. I mean, there's one scene where Bea walks past Blue, and he casts a shadow on her. How do they do that?

Speaking of Blue, 10/10 casting. Steve Carell has the exact type of energy needed for Blue.

John Krasinski had to have heard of Foster's. I mean, come on. There's literally a character named Blue.

Blue: I'm Blue. Me: You're purple. Bea: You're purple. Me: (hits arm on armrest from laughing too hard)

We wear suspenders in this house.

The surprise I felt when I heard Steve Carell's voice coming out of that guy was exactly the same as when I realized Billy Crystal voiced Calcifer in Howl's Moving Castle.

I like that lil' freak who looks like the Faker from Jackbox, but he's gotta stop climbing onto people.

Also, that art mannequin guy looks kinda sexy. Is that just me?

That ghost guy just spent the whole time vibin'.

The Better Be Good to Me dance number has me convinced that this would make waves on Broadway. We just need the budget for Bea to re-imagine the house.

The underwater scene after Cal gets pushed in the pool was sick. This must be why people like that one Nirvana album cover.

I had a feeling that Blossom used to be Grandma's IF just from looking at Grandma's tutu in the picture. I didn't even notice her in the background.

The scene where Bea is by her dad's bed while he's sleeping makes me think this is the type of movie that would make my mom cry.

I know that the "picture was folded the whole time" trope has been done before, but that twist actually got me while also putting together so many pieces at the same time.

Seeing Ryan Reynolds in that dorky-ass clown outfit was simultaneously the most beautiful and the most hilarious moment in the entire movie.

Overall, 9/10. That 48 on Metacritic is wack.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Jenna Well, this whole thing ends with Jim walking back into the break room, seeing that Pam has watched the video and handing her the original teapot note. 

Angela The one he took back and put in his pocket all of those years ago. 

Jenna We got a fan question from Lainie B in Westerville, Ohio, who said, Was it always the plan to revisit the teapot card Jim wrote for Pam, or was it something that the writers remembered and wanted to incorporate into the episode? Lainie, it was not always planned. Like, not from when we did that first Christmas episode did anybody say, one day we're going to reveal what was on this note. It sort of took on a life of its own. People became so curious what was in the note that Jim didn't give Pam. And I've told this story before, but when we were pitching to Greg about season nine, I said, Greg, we have to read the Teapot Note. 

Angela I mean, it's the greatest callback of the whole series. It's brilliant. This is a fantastic idea. Did they lose their minds when you pitched it? 

Jenna Well, I felt like I kind of had to convince them a little bit because-. 

Angela What?! 

Jenna Here's the thing. Greg said, I don't think we'll ever be able to write anything that would satisfy everybody's imagination of this note after all these years. Like, the beauty of the note is that as the audience member, you've written the perfect thing on the note. 

Angela That's brilliant. I mean, he's so smart. 

Jenna Right? 

Angela That is a very smart take. But it's enough for me to just see it. 

Jenna Well, that was the thing. We didn't have to read it to you. You just needed the satisfaction of Pam getting it. of Pam reading it. 

Angela She finally gets it. Yes. 

Jenna And then you still get to fill in the blank, but you get that closure. I've told this story before, too. But John Krasinski wrote the note. It was a private note. 

Angela That he wrote to you as Jenna. 

Jenna Correct. 

Angela About being your scene partner all those years. 

Jenna Yes. So it was kind of like a goodbye thank you note. I still have it. It's private. I'll never reveal what was in it, but it was a beautiful, beautiful note from one scene partner to another. It made me cry. So when you see me crying in the episode, those are my real tears. 

Angela I did notice when you were reading it, it seemed like some genuine surprise that you didn't know what was going to be given to you. 

Jenna Yes, they told me they were going to let John write the note, but I thought he was going to write it as Jim to Pam. So as I'm reading it and I'm realizing that it says Dear Jenna and then it's just this beautiful letter about what it has meant for us to work together and be these scene partners. And, you know, it's like to be Jim and Pam. I was like, my gosh. My goodness. 

Angela Yeah. You see your face goes through a bunch of realizations. 

Jenna Yeah. And I think you can see John watching me read it. I think you see him be like, okay, I'm standing here as you read this letter. 

Angela Yeah. Yeah. Well, I agree with Greg. I'm glad you've never shared what you actually read, what was from John to you, because I don't want to break that fourth wall. I want to imagine this moment between Jim and Pam, and I want to imagine what I would have wanted Jim to say. 

Jenna Well, as a wrap gift at the finale, I wanted to return the favor. So I bought a little teapot, and I wrote a note to John from Jenna, my own little teapot note to him thanking him for all those years working together and what it had meant to me. I mean, I'll never have a scene partner like that again. I feel like I have a work partner and a creative partner like that here with you, Angela. This is like another moment of, like, chemistry that you just you can't plan for it. It just, like, it's perfect. But to go on a nine year journey with another actor in such an intimate and vulnerable way as our characters do, it's pretty special. I mean, we're bonded for life. For sure. 

[toxicanonymity]

Hope you don't mind me spamming you a bit. I appreciate your reviews and commentary! Other movies that came to mind which I enjoyed were Ready Or Not, The Invitation, Don't Breathe, Black Christmas, Last Night inSoho (technically this is a horror movie). And because it's popular, what are your thoughts on A Quiet Place?

I don't mind one bit. These are fun questions, especially this one. Buckle up lmaoooo.

Ready or Not - I liked it, and it inspired the wedding dress in one of my darker stories.

The Invitation - Hell yes, love a dark dinner party movie. Won't spoil why.

Don't Breathe - Loved. So depraved. If you haven't seen it I won't spoil, but holy shit lol. Kink alert.

Black Christmas - Yes! Prefer the original by a mile, but enjoyed the Blumhouse take too.

Last Night in Soho - Need to see this, it's on my list.

A Quiet Place -Just my passionate opinion: I fear there is no movie I despise more. My disdain is well-known among irl friends. I'm about to go off.

Krasinski referring to his film as "elevated horror" put him on my bad side from the start. Really low to put down others to promote himself. Dismissing an entire diverse genre, disrespecting everyone who paved the way.

Krasinski gets (takes) far too much credit for things that have been done and done better, including the climax which mirrors The Descent Part 2, shot-for-shot. Don't Breathe is another example of the have-to-be-quiet premise.

Huge hit among non-horror fans who didn't know better and raved about its originality. Meanwhile gushing, "I'm not even into horror." Soo maybe they hadn't seen much? Especially lesser known movies. The horror tent is big enough for all, but he brought new fans into it while infusing them with his condescending attitude.

Far too many gratuitous close-ups of himself going 🤫. This man's ego, stg.

Some of us detected a strong whiff of right-wing energy. Pro-life in a risk everyone's lives for a fetus way. Pro-gun in a rural, white, get off my land way (btw I'm obsessed with John Wick. it's not the use of guns in this, it's the energy).

He bragged about how his wife was so unaffected by her most intense scene (childbirth) that after it she said, "Who's ready for lunch?" Why is that so good, John? Is your view as a director that actors should snap in and out of character and not be affected by their roles? If she needed to cry or rest, would he think less of her? Personally I admire people who feel. Also, harder to imagine paying a man the same compliment.

I have one nice thing to say, which is that it's nice to see deaf/hard-of-hearing representation, and it was the least they could do good to cast an actress from the community as his daughter.👍

If they committed to total silence instead of using a dramatic score, that would've been cool.

You can do your own take on an old concept and make it good. But to meanwhile put down everything else to distinguish/promote himself?? That ain't it.

Anyway, I still hate-watched the sequel (not nearly as bad) and may do the same with the prequel 🤪.

[happyunbday2u]

So finally remembering that I watched IF I decided to take another look at the cast and oh my god have I forgotten the amount of people I recognize so here’s a random shitpost about the people I forgot/didn’t realize were in the movie

First of all John Krasinski not only played Bea’s dad but the burning marshmallow

Steve Carell voiced Blue and it wasn’t hard to distinguish his voice

Phoebe Waller-Bridge voiced Blossom

Emily Blunt voiced Unicorn

Matt Damon voiced Sunny, can’t believe they got Jason Bourne to play a sunflower therapist

Sam Rockwell as Guardian Dog which is kinda ironic cause he voices Mr. Wolf in The Bad Guys

Christopher Meloni voiced Cosmo which is fitting since he played Elliot Stabler in Law and Order so I’m 100% certain that while creating Cosmo they were like “Hey we should get that one dude from Law and Order to voice him” also the mental imagine of him in a sound booth yelling “CLOAK AND DAGGER” is funny to me

Awkwafina voiced Pop and like Steve it was easy to tell it was her

Blake Lively voiced Octopuss

George Clooney as Spaceman, the space joke was funny to me

Bradley Cooper as Ice, went from voicing a raccoon to a glass of ice

Amy Schumer voiced Gummy Bear, loved her in Trolls (she voiced Velvet)

Keegan-Micheal Key as Slime who reminds me of the Bounty Paper commercials

Bill Hader as the Banana

And lastly Brad Pitt as Keith, nice to see the original Ocean’s 11 trio in a movie again.

[elderemorune]

Beautiful IF.

This evening, my wife and I went to see a movie. This isn't anything unusual, we love the theater, and will take any excuse we can to go when she has time. Last we were able to get out just the two of us, it was to see Lisa Frankenstein, which I wholly recommend by the way. It was great, feminist as fuck, and frankly (see what I did) fun as hell.

But that's not why I'm here tonight.

Tonight, we're here for John Krasinski's IF.

IF is a movie that's part of a rare genre. The Family Film. You know, the kind that came out when millennials were children, like The Addams Family, or Hocus Pocus. A movie made for everyone to enjoy.

Now this is probably confirmation bias, since most of the fandoms I'm in are serious business, or at least they think they are, and such most of what I watch is grim, dark, or otherwise edgy. I won't deny being an edge marquis, I've been one since middle school and I'm not stopping now!

This movie, simply put, is beautiful. As we start to see more and more art about fighting (or subliminally supporting) fascism, it's like we shy away from beauty and instead want to focus wholly on how dark things are for us. And with a constant barrage of messaging like that, it's hard to stay hopeful, easy to stay mad.

Then we get a movie like IF. It takes a look at life through the most hopeful lens it can, a kid's. I don't want to get too into the story because my roommate reads this and I want them to see this as blindly as they can, but I'll tell you this: IF wants you to know that it's okay to be a kid.

But what does that mean? To be a kid? Is it to engage in wild flights of fancy where you imagine great, impossible things like an elephant made of cotton candy? Is it using play to cope with hard times? To be innocent? What is innocence anyway?

IF isn't trying to answer those questions at all. All IF cares about is that you know that it's okay to be a kid, no matter what.

For a super spoiler-free quick rundown, IF follows the adventures of Bea as she tries to help place imaginary friends (IFs) with new kids and find a new sense of purpose. Imagine (heh) Foster's Home for Imaginary (heh) Friends, but age Mac up a year and have her partner be a big furry purple guy (Hey! Like Eduardo!) named... Blue? Is this possibly an... GASP! AN EASTER EGG RIGHT THERE?! The big difference is that imaginary friends can't really be seen by anyone, except Bea and this other guy, Calvin. We'll talk about him later.

So let's talk about the rest of the movie, because there's not much more I can say without spoilers.

Just look at this man. He's distinct. You know EXACTLY what he's about, who he is, everything you need, just from looking at him.

And the same holds true of every other IF that you see (and don't) on screen. The team that worked on them did an immaculate job, perfectly capturing a child's imagination and how they see the world around them in these funny lil guys. Like how Blue is purple because his kid was colorblind, so he looked blue TO HIS KID, and how the robot IF was the kind of thing that a kid fond of taking things apart might imagine as their friend. Their personalities are all so clear, and when they're on screen they really steal the show.

Speaking of theft, let's talk the casting. Cailey Fleming plays Bea and gosh is her performance just the tops. Her first onscreen part was as young Rey in Star Wars: The Force Awakens (which I didn't watch because I just don't care much for Star Wars). This is the first place I've seen her work, and I one hundred percent believed she was actually John Krasinski's daughter.

Who, by the way, plays her dad. A lovable goofball who tries to find the fun in everything, he's sick (though we're never told with what) and is in New York for surgery. It's a big one, apparently, and there's a chance he won't wake up from the anesthesia, but he's determined to make it through. Really, what can I say about Krasinski's acting that fans of The Office haven't already said? This guy is the kind of dad I want to be when I eventually have kids.

Steve Carell voices Blue, the big purple IF on the poster. Sure, I guess if I had A critique of this movie, it's that it's another Steve Carell Funny Voice(TM) but fuck off, I had fun and it was clear he loved the project. I loved Blue, I thought he was funny and so sweet, and he was just so goddamned lovable that I genuinely had no notes.

Last, and he'd probably say least, Ryan Reynolds plays Calvin, a very handsome gentleman who can also see the IFs like Bea can. He started the effort to rehome IFs with new kids, but hasn't had much success at the time the movie starts. He's a bit of a curmudgeon, pessimistic that anything they do will work, and refers to his ability to see them as a curse, but he still does everything he can to help Bea place IFs in new homes. While still your typical wise-cracking Ryan Reynolds character, it was interesting to see him playing a character who's not about diving into things headfirst, instead giving us a more timid person who would really rather be asleep.

The cast all worked exceptionally well together. As I said, I came out of this movie truly believing that Fleming was Krasinski's daughter, and the chemistry between her and Reynolds was amazing. They really felt like friends, and I never once felt like their relationship was weird in any way. Carell and Fleming were also delightful together, with Blue serving as wonderful comedy relief.

Lastly, I guess is the score, right? I'm new to caring about this, so forgive me if I forget an important part.

Music was done by Michael Giacchino, who's score was frankly perfect. He captured the vibe perfectly, and I can honestly think of no higher praise for a film score. In particular, there was a scene that really hit me, and if the Adagio of Spartacus and Phrygia hadn't been the song used, I'm not sure I'd have cried near as hard.

So that's it. IF. A beautiful movie, a poignant message, and something that I think everyone could benefit from seeing.

Because what IF it's right? And it IS okay to be a kid?

That means anything is possible, doesn't it? What IF you COULD have a cotton candy elephant? Or a small army of Bionicle robots who are fiercely loyal to you as you lead them across Mata Nui to expunge the darkness? (Don't tell me you didn't do this. If you had Bionicle, you did this.)

What IF?

[destinyc1020]

Honestly, as a spectator and industry exec in my head, I worry about the two of them being so completely connected with each other as far as their careers. The only two couples I could compare it to is Nicole and Tom Cruise or maybe even Melissa McCarthy and her husband working together a lot. Maybe Emily Blunt and John Krasinski too because I've seen similarly nasty things about them that I have about Tom and Zendaya. I cringe when one of them books something and people automatically ask if the other is going to be in it. That's not how most actor couples work. They may do something together, but it's sporadic. They already kind of did sporadic when you already have the Spider-man trilogy.

But I've said time and time again, they've had ample opportunity to try to separate a bit. But they both keep taking it up a level. On top of that, they both pay professionals to manage and consult on their images. If they or their advisors thought their whole thing was a huge problem they would have stopped or done something differently a long time ago. They literally have to cross continents to stay together. It would have been so easy for them to be doing something different. We both know they care deeply about their images. Both of them have said so multiple times, but here they are.

Fans need to just accept that Tom and Zendaya are Sonny and Cher (i.e. basically MARRIED lol), and enjoy it lol. 😅🤣

If they didn't want to be together or linked together, then they wouldn't...period. OBVIOUSLY they do, so..... 🤷🏾‍♀️

I don't see the problem? I think it's cute.

Many Hollywood couples have been this way, and I've listed several.

They obviously see themselves as married in their heads lol. They have worked together several times before. Maybe they (*gasp!*) actually LIKE working with each other?? Gee...imagine that... 🤔

You all are in here squabbling about minor things about them on the internet, and meanwhile, Tom and Zendaya are over here building a Tomdaya EMPIRE in Hollywood rotfl. 🤣

[trungles]

esteemed trungles, i come with an important question. What is the best romcom to watch in winter?

ESTEEMED omg incredible. I don't think I've ever been esteemed before, so I'll do my best to live up to it.

SO I'm a little late on this question for Holiday rom-coms, but it's still winter here right now, and I love rom-coms. In no particular order:

The Holiday (2006) - Kate Winslet! Jack Black! Cameron Diaz! Jude Law! John Krasinski for some reason (he shows up for like three minutes)! Kathryn Hahn (also in the same scene as John Krasinski)! Also there's a little, itty-bitty A Knight's Tale reunion because Rufus Sewell shows up and so does Shannyn Sossamon, which I find to be very sweet. Jack Black is cute as Christmas and hot as breakfast in this movie, and he somehow did this straightforwardly sweet rom-com AND Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny in the same year. The man has RANGE. You get two romances in this movie, and I think the Kate Winslet one is much more of a high-budget Silver Screen romance while the Cameron Diaz one is much more a Hallmark Channel romance, which I think is great because I love both kinds of romances.

When Harry Met Sally (1989) - This movie is iconic, and I love it to bits. I always have it saved to my phone so I can watch it on literally every plane ride just in case I get stressed out. Meg Ryan is incredible in it as a neurotic and incredibly self-assured woman who develops a friendship with Billy Crystal's character over the course of about a dozen years. Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher play some hilarious supporting characters. This movie is also lovely in that the most dramatic character arc belongs to the male love interest. Like, yes, Meg Ryan's character also grows, but there's no change to her world view or her wants and desires because she's not hurting anyone with the way she navigates those things, and Billy Crystal's character grows into someone you could imagine having lunch with, a far cry from when we first meet him. It's also very well-written. I downloaded the script just so I could pick it apart and learn from it.

Single All the Way (2021) - KATHY NAJIMY AND JENNIFER COOLIDGE ARE BOTH IN THIS MOVIE. I don't know what I was expecting, but this holiday rom-com charmed the thermal socks off me. Michael Urie and Philemon Chambers play best friends who fake a relationship so Michael's family will stop badgering him about there being no romance in his life. It's a fake dating movie, and it is also a delightful subversion of the Hallmark romance. Michael Urie escapes his big city life back to his small hometown where he meets an extremely hunky local spinning instructor (lol) played by Luke McFarlane, who is a literal mainstay of many actual, literal Hallmark romance movies. It's great. I enjoyed it immensely.

Moonstruck (1987) - Cher and Nicolas Cage star in this movie, and it's sort of difficult to describe. It's very funny, and it's heightened by how every single actor plays their character with the seriousness of a prestige drama. Olympia Dukakis and John Mahoney are also in this, and they're both delightful. I still occasionally yell, "I lost my hand! I lost my bride!!!" out loud at random intervals in the year. Keeps my loved ones on their toes.

While You Were Sleeping (1995) - This movie is a charmer and a half! Sandra Bullock stars as a lonely woman who works at the L in Chicago who falls in love with one of the passengers. One day, he falls victim to an attempted mugging and falls onto the tracks. Our heroine saves his life, but he winds up in a coma. A series of misunderstandings leads his entire family to believe that she's his fiancée, and polite shenanigans ensue (except in the case of one testicle-inspection, which might be regarded as pretty impolite, but it's very sweet in context). I also find Bill Pullman extremely blandsome and regular-looking to the point of being sincerely erotic. I don't know how this happened.

And I think that covers my wintry rom-coms! I watch all of them year-round, but these ones all vaguely take place in the winter-time and sometimes have a little bit to do with the holidays season.

[starkwlkr]

Wait does olivia have an accent like hugh or no? (wait but imagine all their babies had an accent when they were toddlers❗❗)

their little babies with australian accents 🥺 it’s canon that they live in new york so i kinda imagine it being an emily blunt and john krasinski situation like their daughters had john’s accent then developed a british accent lol

[marine-indie-gal]

I'm sorry but what Year is it supposed to be Exactly Again?

Year of the Dragon? More like the Year where Imagination Friends run Wild.

So I recently finally saw "IF" just like on how that I've watched Other Imaginary Friends Films like "The Imaginary" & "Imaginary" (might be too similar with the Titles but one puts Another Word in front of it).

Ok, technically The Imaginary (which is based off of a Book) is an Anime Movie from 2023 but Netflix dubbed it on English this Year so I guess you could at least say that this Anime Movie does count within the Year (at least...The English Dub only anyway).

Anyway, because this Year has been recently a Movie Year for Films about Imaginary Friends, similar to how that 2022 was the Year for Pinocchio Adaptations (You got the Goat, The Foreign, & The Bad One), I'd figure why not try the Holy Trinity of This Year's Imagination Films with an Unlikely Trio (Rudger from "The Imaginary", Blue from "IF", & even Chauncey from "Imaginary").

While IF and The Imaginary succeeded despite having Mixed Reviews, Imaginary on the Other Hand didn't. But that's not gonna stop from drawing Three Movies within the Same Common Trope of Fantasy.

I could've had at least drawn Chauncey in his Monstrous Form but because it was too unbearable (get it?) to draw, I've decided to draw his Teddy Bear form just because it's too easier but I also had to make his face be expressional to lighten' up the Mood.

Even if he might be an Evil Deity, I wouldn't be surprise if he could change expressions in his Plushie form.

I also don't really like the way that I did with Blue's eyes as it looked kinda cringey (which I humbly apologized for that XP).

BTW, in case if you are deeply unaware about the "Third" Imagination Friends Movie if you're one of the Few who have seen either the Former or the Latter (or just Both). If you have Netflix, please consider giving "The Imaginary" a try, it is deeply Beautiful, Heartwarming, & More Depth with so much Emotion compare to IF.

Rudger (c) A. F. Harrold & Studio Ponoc

Blue (c) John Krasinski & Paramount Pictures

Chauncey (c) Jeff Waldow & Blumhouse