#jobs for 13 year olds to make money

[marketncard]

How do I Earn Money and Invest as a 13-year-old?

How do I Earn Money and Invest as a 13-year-old? – Being a teenager can be exciting, but it can also be challenging, especially when it comes to making money and investing. You may be eager to earn some cash and start investing, but you might not know where to start or what to do. So if you have ever asked yourself how do I earn money and invest as a 13-year-old? This article will guide you.…

[envolvenuances]

and I think child modelling should be illegal I'm not even joking

[mongeese]

Maybe I'm fucked in the head or something but Nick's testimony in the trial episode actually improves my estimation of Glenn as a father

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Google’s enshittification memos

[Note, 9 October 2023: Google disputes the veracity of this claim, but has declined to provide the exhibits and testimony to support its claims. Read more about this here.]

When I think about how the old, good internet turned into the enshitternet, I imagine a series of small compromises, each seemingly reasonable at the time, each contributing to a cultural norm of making good things worse, and worse, and worse.

Think about Unity President Marc Whitten's nonpology for his company's disastrous rug-pull, in which they declared that everyone who had paid good money to use their tool to make a game would have to keep paying, every time someone downloaded that game:

The most fundamental thing that we’re trying to do is we’re building a sustainable business for Unity. And for us, that means that we do need to have a model that includes some sort of balancing change, including shared success.

https://www.wired.com/story/unity-walks-back-policies-lost-trust/

"Shared success" is code for, "If you use our tool to make money, we should make money too." This is bullshit. It's like saying, "We just want to find a way to share the success of the painters who use our brushes, so every time you sell a painting, we want to tax that sale." Or "Every time you sell a house, the company that made the hammer gets to wet its beak."

And note that they're not talking about shared risk here – no one at Unity is saying, "If you try to make a game with our tools and you lose a million bucks, we're on the hook for ten percent of your losses." This isn't partnership, it's extortion.

How did a company like Unity – which became a market leader by making a tool that understood the needs of game developers and filled them – turn into a protection racket? One bad decision at a time. One rationalization and then another. Slowly, and then all at once.

When I think about this enshittification curve, I often think of Google, a company that had its users' backs for years, which created a genuinely innovative search engine that worked so well it seemed like *magic, a company whose employees often had their pick of jobs, but chose the "don't be evil" gig because that mattered to them.

People make fun of that "don't be evil" motto, but if your key employees took the gig because they didn't want to be evil, and then you ask them to be evil, they might just quit. Hell, they might make a stink on the way out the door, too:

https://theintercept.com/2018/09/13/google-china-search-engine-employee-resigns/

Google is a company whose founders started out by publishing a scientific paper describing their search methodology, in which they said, "Oh, and by the way, ads will inevitably turn your search engine into a pile of shit, so we're gonna stay the fuck away from them":

http://infolab.stanford.edu/pub/papers/google.pdf

Those same founders retained a controlling interest in the company after it went IPO, explaining to investors that they were going to run the business without having their elbows jostled by shortsighted Wall Street assholes, so they could keep it from turning into a pile of shit:

https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/

And yet, it's turned into a pile of shit. Google search is so bad you might as well ask Jeeves. The company's big plan to fix it? Replace links to webpages with florid paragraphs of chatbot nonsense filled with a supremely confident lies:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/14/googles-ai-hype-circle/

How did the company get this bad? In part, this is the "curse of bigness." The company can't grow by attracting new users. When you have 90%+ of the market, there are no new customers to sign up. Hypothetically, they could grow by going into new lines of business, but Google is incapable of making a successful product in-house and also kills most of the products it buys from other, more innovative companies:

https://killedbygoogle.com/

Theoretically, the company could pursue new lines of business in-house, and indeed, the current leaders of companies like Amazon, Microsoft and Apple are all execs who figured out how to get the whole company to do something new, and were elevated to the CEO's office, making each one a billionaire and sealing their place in history.

It is for this very reason that any exec at a large firm who tries to make a business-wide improvement gets immediately and repeatedly knifed by all their colleagues, who correctly reason that if someone else becomes CEO, then they won't become CEO. Machiavelli was an optimist:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

With no growth from new customers, and no growth from new businesses, "growth" has to come from squeezing workers (say, laying off 12,000 engineers after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years), or business customers (say, by colluding with Facebook to rig the ad market with the Jedi Blue conspiracy), or end-users.

Now, in theory, we might never know exactly what led to the enshittification of Google. In theory, all of compromises, debates and plots could be lost to history. But tech is not an oral culture, it's a written one, and techies write everything down and nothing is ever truly deleted.

Time and again, Big Tech tells on itself. Think of FTX's main conspirators all hanging out in a group chat called "Wirefraud." Amazon naming its program targeting weak, small publishers the "Gazelle Project" ("approach these small publishers the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”). Amazon documenting the fact that users were unknowingly signing up for Prime and getting pissed; then figuring out how to reduce accidental signups, then deciding not to do it because it liked the money too much. Think of Zuck emailing his CFO in the middle of the night to defend his outsized offer to buy Instagram on the basis that users like Insta better and Facebook couldn't compete with them on quality.

It's like every Big Tech schemer has a folder on their desktop called "Mens Rea" filled with files like "Copy_of_Premeditated_Murder.docx":

https://doctorow.medium.com/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself-f7f0eb6d215a?sk=351f8a54ab8e02d7340620e5eec5024d

Right now, Google's on trial for its sins against antitrust law. It's a hard case to make. To secure a win, the prosecutors at the DoJ Antitrust Division are going to have to prove what was going on in Google execs' minds when the took the actions that led to the company's dominance. They're going to have to show that the company deliberately undertook to harm its users and customers.

Of course, it helps that Google put it all in writing.

Last week, there was a huge kerfuffile over the DoJ's practice of posting its exhibits from the trial to a website each night. This is a totally normal thing to do – a practice that dates back to the Microsoft antitrust trial. But Google pitched a tantrum over this and said that the docs the DoJ were posting would be turned into "clickbait." Which is another way of saying, "the public would find these documents very interesting, and they would be damning to us and our case":

https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic

After initially deferring to Google, Judge Amit Mehta finally gave the Justice Department the greenlight to post the document. It's up. It's wild:

https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-09/416692.pdf

The document is described as "notes for a course on communication" that Google VP for Finance Michael Roszak prepared. Roszak says he can't remember whether he ever gave the presentation, but insists that the remit for the course required him to tell students "things I didn't believe," and that's why the document is "full of hyperbole and exaggeration."

OK.

But here's what the document says: "search advertising is one of the world's greatest business models ever created…illicit businesses (cigarettes or drugs) could rival these economics…[W]e can mostly ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers, ad formats and sales."

It goes on to say that this might be changing, and proposes a way to balance the interests of the search and ads teams, which are at odds, with search worrying that ads are pushing them to produce "unnatural search experiences to chase revenue."

"Unnatural search experiences to chase revenue" is a thinly veiled euphemism for the prophetic warnings in that 1998 Pagerank paper: "The goals of the advertising business model do not always correspond to providing quality search to users." Or, more plainly, "ads will turn our search engine into a pile of shit."

And, as Roszak writes, Google is "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand." That is, the company has become so dominant and cemented its position so thoroughly as the default search engine across every platforms and system that even if it makes its search terrible to goose revenues, users won't leave. As Lily Tomlin put it on SNL: "We don't have to care, we're the phone company."

In the enshittification cycle, companies first lure in users with surpluses – like providing the best search results rather than the most profitable ones – with an eye to locking them in. In Google's case, that lock-in has multiple facets, but the big one is spending billions of dollars – enough to buy a whole Twitter, every single year – to be the default search everywhere.

Google doesn't buy its way to dominance because it has the very best search results and it wants to shield you from inferior competitors. The economically rational case for buying default position is that preventing competition is more profitable than succeeding by outperforming competitors. The best reason to buy the default everywhere is that it lets you lower quality without losing business. You can "ignore the demand side, and only focus on advertisers."

For a lot of people, the analysis stops here. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." Google locks in users and sells them to advertisers, who are their co-conspirators in a scheme to screw the rest of us.

But that's not right. For one thing, paying for a product doesn't mean you won't be the product. Apple charges a thousand bucks for an iPhone and then nonconsensually spies on every iOS user in order to target ads to them (and lies about it):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

John Deere charges six figures for its tractors, then runs a grift that blocks farmers from fixing their own machines, and then uses their control over repair to silence farmers who complain about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it

Fair treatment from a corporation isn't a loyalty program that you earn by through sufficient spending. Companies that can sell you out, will sell you out, and then cry victim, insisting that they were only doing their fiduciary duty for their sacred shareholders. Companies are disciplined by fear of competition, regulation or – in the case of tech platforms – customers seizing the means of computation and installing ad-blockers, alternative clients, multiprotocol readers, etc:

https://doctorow.medium.com/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse-3cc01e7e4604?sk=85b3f5f7d051804521c3411711f0b554

Which is where the next stage of enshittification comes in: when the platform withdraws the surplus it had allocated to lure in – and then lock in – business customers (like advertisers) and reallocate it to the platform's shareholders.

For Google, there are several rackets that let it screw over advertisers as well as searchers (the advertisers are paying for the product, and they're also the product). Some of those rackets are well-known, like Jedi Blue, the market-rigging conspiracy that Google and Facebook colluded on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

But thanks to the antitrust trial, we're learning about more of these. Megan Gray – ex-FTC, ex-DuckDuckGo – was in the courtroom last week when evidence was presented on Google execs' panic over a decline in "ad generating searches" and the sleazy gimmick they came up with to address it: manipulating the "semantic matching" on user queries:

https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/

When you send a query to Google, it expands that query with terms that are similar – for example, if you search on "Weds" it might also search for "Wednesday." In the slides shown in the Google trial, we learned about another kind of semantic matching that Google performed, this one intended to turn your search results into "a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape."

Here's how that worked: when you ran a query like "children's clothing," Google secretly appended the brand name of a kids' clothing manufacturer to the query. This, in turn, triggered a ton of ads – because rival brands will have bought ads against their competitors' name (like Pepsi buying ads that are shown over queries for Coke).

Here we see surpluses being taken away from both end-users and business customers – that is, searchers and advertisers. For searchers, it doesn't matter how much you refine your query, you're still going to get crummy search results because there's an unkillable, hidden search term stuck to your query, like a piece of shit that Google keeps sticking to the sole of your shoe.

But for advertisers, this is also a scam. They're paying to be matched to users who search on a brand name, and you didn't search on that brand name. It's especially bad for the company whose name has been appended to your search, because Google has a protection racket where the company that matches your search has to pay extra in order to show up overtop of rivals who are worse matches. Both the matching company and those rivals have given Google a credit-card that Google gets to bill every time a user searches on the company's name, and Google is just running fraudulent charges through those cards.

And, of course, Google put this in writing. I mean, of course they did. As we learned from the documentary The Incredibles, supervillains can't stop themselves from monologuing, and in big, sprawling monopolists, these monologues have to transmitted electronically – and often indelibly – to far-flung co-cabalists.

As Gray points out, this is an incredibly blunt enshittification technique: "it hadn’t even occurred to me that Google just flat out deletes queries and replaces them with ones that monetize better." We don't know how long Google did this for or how frequently this bait-and-switch was deployed.

But if this is a blunt way of Google smashing its fist down on the scales that balance search quality against ad revenues, there's plenty of subtler ways the company could sneak a thumb on there. A Google exec at the trial rhapsodized about his company's "contract with the user" to deliver an "honest results policy," but given how bad Google search is these days, we're left to either believe he's lying or that Google sucks at search.

The paper trail offers a tantalizing look at how a company went from doing something that was so good it felt like a magic trick to being "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand," able to "ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers."

What's more, this is a system where everyone loses (except for Google): this isn't a grift run by Google and advertisers on users – it's a grift Google runs on everyone.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[ookaookaooka]

I’m hardly the first person to compare them but Terry Pratchett and J K Rowling really are polar opposites in terms of the way their writing treats weird characters. In Rowling’s writing, any weirdness is there to be laughed at (for example: Professor Trelawney, the fake seer who doesn’t know she’s an actual seer). In Pratchett’s writing, though, the characters’ weirdness is taken 100% seriously and the humor arises organically from the situation itself and is never at the characters’ expense (for example: in Making Money, the man who was born a clown and was never told so until he was 13 years old). In Rowling’s writing, the main characters poke constant fun at Professor Trelawney, making joke predictions and fudging homework and talking about how divination isn’t a legitimate field of study. Even after she gets fired and more or less drops the act, the joke changes to “look at this sad drunk lady” and the main characters express little sympathy. The narrative is saying she’s there to make one real prediction and otherwise she’s only there for comic relief. This sort of thing happens over and over in Rowling’s writing, where any quirkiness is there to be laughed at and the misfortunes of characters we’re not supposed to like are supposed to be funny, and it sends a message of conformity under threat of ridicule. In Pratchett’s writing, the clown man’s story is treated as a great tragedy: imagine growing up not knowing why you are the way you are, and then finding out the truth as a teenager! And knowing that your own mother kept the truth from you! This man was so deeply traumatized by this he denied himself any humor or fun for decades, and when he has a crisis and runs off to become a clown again, he is given support and medical treatment and is welcomed back to his job at the bank and accepted for who he is. The fact that this whole situation is hilarious is secondary. And again, this sort of thing happens over and over again in Pratchett’s writing, where characters’ quirkiness is embraced and often seen as irreplaceable by the end of the book, and it sends a message that our quirks are valuable and weirdness should be acceptable. It just strikes me as a much… kinder approach to people, you know?

[slimmestofshady]

Bad Habits Kill You

Summary: The 90s in Detroit wasn’t exactly easy to live in with two kids and a boyfriend who redeveloped a bad habit.

Warnings: Drug Addiction, relapse, toxic relationship, abusive on both sides, accusations of cheating but no actual cheating, swearing, mention of smut, mention of drug dealing, breast feeding, robbery

6 calls, 13 text messages later and you found yourself driving home with your 3 year old daughter strapped in the carseat, livid that Marshall hadn’t picked up the phone. Working two jobs and trying to live life comfortably was becoming difficult as you felt like you were the only one here trying to keep the family afloat. This had been the fifth time this week you had to leave early and pick her up due to your boyfriend not showing up. Two write ups later with the check engine light on the car, hardly any gas in it and needing an oil change that you couldn’t afford you unbuckled her, carrying Ellie inside only to hear your newborn screaming once again.

Scoffing, you pushed open the broken screen door, the object squeaking when it was pressed back only to find Marshall’s blonde head fast asleep on the couch, a bowl of weed sitting right out on the rickety table next to Sara’s play pen.

“Mommy, why is daddy always tired? He never eats with us either.” You knew what this was, rehab hadn’t been working and it wasn’t just the sleeping pills he was taking. What were you supposed to say to her?

“Daddy’s just been very busy, why don’t you go play with your toys? Okay?” You smooched her on her delicate little head, ruffling her hair. A child at that young of age shouldn’t even have to ask those questions or ask why other kids have more than you did. Even in a relationship it felt like you were a single mother just trying to make ends meet. 

Picking up Sara from her crib you kneed him lightly in his side in irritation, causing him to moan and groan, mumbling something about being cold in the process. You kneed him again to which he turned around and shouted in his groggy state, his baby blues eyes dilated with dark circles shading his white skin.

“What?!” His temper was not in the slightest controlled, only pushing you farther past your limit of being civil or concerned for his well being.

“You were supposed to pick Ellie up, and do you hear that? That’s your other daughter crying to be taken care of which I can see you’re doing a great job at.” He clenched his jaw, folding his hands together, rubbing them. He got up, closing the distance between the both of you pointing an accusing finger directly in your face.

“I know how to be a fucking parent Y/N. Besides you’re one to talk, did Andre fuck you yet cause he been blowin up the phone all god damn day.” Taking Sara to her room, you rolled your eyes from having the same argument every fucking day while laying her in the crib, but he followed.

“At least he offers to watch the kids, more than you’ve ever fucking done! Tell me how many pills did you fucking pop today and don’t lie to me because I can see you’re clearly stoned. Fucking blanked out and shit.” You closed the door once you layed her down, refusing to argue with him in front of the kids but that didn’t mean they didn’t hear.

His hand wrapped around you arm pulling you back until you were pushed against the wall of the tiny hallway, giving you no personal space as he spat his venomous words.

The tensions was rising, only fueling your immense anger. This was the same old song and dance as every other fucking day. Why didn’t you leave? Well it’s easier said than done when you loved someone.

“I’m not fucking stoned babe I’ve been working on a new song and just fell asleep. Besides I don’t see you bringing any money so where you been if it ain’t work?” He pulled out a red piece of paper in his pocket with the words “EVICTION NOTICE”. Snatching the paper out of his hands, you noticed they only were giving you a week to pack your shit and get out due to being nearly three months behind on rent.

Scoffing you shoved the paper at his chest, trying to walk away but he didn’t let you shoving you back against the wall again.

“Marsh, don’t start your fucking shit okay?! I’ve been working my ass off but god forbid I work a full fucking shift because your ass has to be sat on this fucking couch, smoking dope and taking your fucking sleeping pills and xanax!” As he started cussing you out, you didn’t think before slapping him harshly across the face when he accused you of cheating once more based off the basis of no money coming in yet you’re always “at work.”

“What the fuck y/n! You don’t want to play this fucking game with me aight?!” Right before you could spit fire back, Ellie walked out of her room crying, causing you both to stop. She was just a child and didn’t ask or sign up for any of this. A sympathetic look of sorrow washed over Marshall and yourself the tension dwindling ever so slightly when you saw her teary, beading eyes, her cheeks reddened from the hostile situation.

With open arms, he picked her up cradling her against his chest as his hands rubbed her back gently.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. Mommy and I will stop arguing okay?” You crossed your arms, huffing from this constant fighting but seeing how quick he was when he was awake to console her, and ensure those crybaby tears stopped was heart warming. He had the potential to be such a good dad if he would just set the drugs aside but maybe that was too much to ask.

“My-my tv is gone, all-all my stuff is gone!” With frantic eyes, you both pushed open the door to see the room a wreck, and multiple items missing. Some of her blankets on her bed, her stuffed animals gone, even her piggy bank that had nearly $500 in it. It had taken over a year to save it, in hopes of starting a fund for her when she was 18, and now it was just gone. 

You couldn’t hold back the tears, feeling like everything was just crumbling down. They flowed freely down your cheeks, Marshall noticing and trying to pull you in to his side with his other arm but you waved him off, walking into the bedroom and closing the door. How much more of this could you take? There were shootings at least once a week, you were barely able to afford food, living off food stamps that barely covered shit. Whenever it seemed to be going great or a little better than before, everything would just turn to shit.

As you slumped down onto the bed, you couldn't help but notice the bathroom light still open, the shattered mirror from the night before slightly ajar.

Pushing yourself off the bed, you walked into the room with a dreadful feeling, hoping you weren't right. Taking a deep breath, you opened the object only to find the 3 pill bottles completely empty with their lids off, how much shit did he fucking take.

There was a knock at the door pulling you from your thoughts, but when you heard his voice asking if he could come in your blood boiled. When you didn't respond he pushed the door open, Sara no longer in his hands. When he saw you had found the empty bottles, he had a guilty look on his face but not remorseful.

There was a dead silence as you stood with your arms crossed shooting daggers his way.

"Tell me again that you're not fucking using. I'm not fucking stupid. How do you expect me to become closer with you when you can't even own your shit! This is getting old, and I don't know how much longer I can do this!" A switch like the atomic bomb flipped inside of him and he wasn't thinking before he pushed you on the mattress as you pounded against his chest, but you were never a match compared to his strength.

He folded his hands around the warmth of your neck, shaking you in place but not squeezing hard enough to cut off circulation.

"You don't know what it's like! Who the fuck are you to judge me huh? We're livin in this broke down piece of shit fuckin trailer, I'm tryin to fuckin write songs and start a good life for us, while you bring some dude around our fuckin kids when I'm not home, actin like you perfect, you ain't perfect either!" The tears welled in your eyes in a mix of emotions. He was right neither of you were but how did you get to this point. You had a plan, a good one, but everything kept getting taken away from you. It was like playing ring around the rosey but always falling down. You stared into his ocean eyes while sniffling when he finally released your neck.

"Fuck!" He screamed with profound irritation. You were both tired of fighting nearly every day, it was draining but the love was still there even if it was minuscule at times.

"Can you tell me truthfully I'm not being replaced by your fuckin' boss at work?" His eyes settled for a moment, just needing to know the truth.

"Marshall there is nothing there, nothing has happened. I'm just trying to find someone to watch the kids and I clearly have to even when I'm not home." A sorrowful look of hurt and guilt crossed over his face. You weren't wrong that he wasn't trustworthy to his own god damn kids and he wasn't wrong that you should've at least asked him about Andrei watching the kids. He was a private man, he didn't like strangers around the house let alone his kids.

As your breathing steadied, Marshall buried his head in the crook of your neck, allowing a singular tear to slip from his eye and land on your skin. He wanted to be better a father, a better boyfriend but it was so difficult during times like these.

"You need to get help baby..." A choked sob escaped you. You hated seeing him like this, he was better than this.

He had gone five months sober and when you noticed the signs he was using again you hadn't asked again after how irritable he was with you the first time, until today at least.

This wasn’t all on him though, the relationship issues anyway.

in his own head he felt there was no going forward, there was no escaping the impending, disastrous thoughts in his mind. The drugs soothed those intrusive thoughts, how could he lose himself inside his own head if he was asleep?

“I know, I know…” You both layed there for a moment in each others company. Neither of you calling the cops about the break in since they never seemed to actually do anything given where you lived.

“Maybe we should take the kids out for dinner or something, get Ellie’s mind off her things being gone.”

“Well how much do we got in the account?” You shook your head, sitting up and waving your hands up in the air with defeat.

“Not enough. I think altogether for the month we have around $120.” Fuck. He couldn’t do shit for his kids but somehow had enough money to get drugs? His mind twirled, the stress and realizing his priorities weren’t straight pressing an immense weight on his shoulders.

A thought crossed his mind of what if he started to sell only using every now and then? That would surely bring in money, especially around this neighborhood and keep you afloat for the time being but he didn’t say it.

He also had to worry about the kids. He refused to let them be homeless.

“Let’s take them we’ll figure it out. We aigh’t now?”

“Only if you promise me you’ll get help. I’m here to support you, okay?” Your hand caressed down his cheek as you stared into his baby blue hues, he nuzzled into your touch nodding before helping you out of bed.

Ellie was sat coloring with the crayons she still had on the living room floor wrapped in a blanket. That was another thing you were behind on, the fucking heat bill but that was a concern for another day. Luckly the electric and water seemed to still be on for the time being.

Marshall swooped her up in his arms peppering her face with loving kisses while ruffling her hair. He was always so good with her, such a caring dad and the sight made your heart melt. Moments like these made the fights seem almost pointless.

“Are you and mommy done fighting?” Her voice was so sweet and innocent, her small fist clenching and grasping at Marshall’s white shirt. The small gesture warning his heart. He just wanted his daughter to be happy.

“Yes baby. Daddy loves mommy we just have a lot going on, adult stuff you don’t need to worry about. Let’s get you and sissy some dinner, okay?” She nodded against him, perking up when he mentioned McDonald’s. It wasn’t the healthiest but it was affordable and it made her happy and that was all that mattered right now.

Passing her to you, Marshall went out to the car throwing a raggedy, old gray sweatshirt on before lighting a cigarette as he started the car. It took him about three times for the car to turn over, rickety old piece of shit, he was just grateful the heat was working for his angels. Checking the glove box, he ensured his gun was still there while a car passed by slowly, music blaring. He was skeptical of everyone and everything in this neighborhood, especially when something like today happens for the fifth time this year.

Pushing the door open, Marshall rushed to your aide to help Ellie down the stairs, avoiding the section with a nail sticking out of the wood while you carried Sara in your arms.

“Should we get gas?” You shrugged, nodding and informing him you still had work and Ellie had daycare to attend.

“How much we’re paying for that again?”

“Nearly $100 a month.” He hasn’t realized how expensive it was, scoffing and mentioning how the government expects people to live off minimum wage jobs and take care of their children.

Dinner seemed to be going smoothly, Ellie was making friends and playing in the play pin section of the restaurant while you and Marshall sat with Sara near the window in a close distance, sharing a milkshake while laughing over the memories of the past.

“Be careful sweetie!” Marshall yelled after Ellie noticing how close she was to slipping a falling off a plastic cube. She nodded to her dad, going back to her activity.

He couldn’t help but glance down at your tits, they’d gotten so big from the swelling of breast feeding. One of the things he loved that happened when you were pregnant. He bit down on his bottom lip intrigued, making a comment about how even after giving birth he still would take you right here right now over this table had their been no kids around.

Smacking him playfully with your cup, you giggled. It was about time she needed to be fed but before you could excuse yourself to the restroom, Ellie came up to have a drink break, not wasting a minute before she blurted out,

“Mommy, when is Andre coming over again? He likes to color with me and he talks about you a lot…” You we’re at a standstill for words, being left speechless by your toddler. Marshall’s jaw clenched, his hand forming a fist as he held his composure. He simply said, “Believe me now? Hows that for truth?” Ellie yanked on her dads sleeve, asking for a refill on her drink giving you the perfect way out of the situation.

“I’m going to feed Sara, I’ll be back in a couple minutes.

“Yeah, aight. You do that.” Arriving home, the car ride was mostly silent. Marshall laid Ellie down in your bed as she fell asleep in the car, too worried about her being in her own room and the same for Sara moving her crib for the night near the back corner of your room where the light wouldn’t be in her face but she’d still be close.

While you were still in the living room changing laundry, he stumbled into the back of the closet, reaching for a small box that was hidden under a flap in the carpet, popping a pill or two in his mouth, rinsing them down with water from the sink.

He closed the door lightly to not wake either of your kids, walking out into the living room and not hiding that he was not in a good mood, slouching down into the couch.

“So when the fuck did you plan on telling me that he been coming over into my fucking house with my fucking kids? You didn’t even ask me.” You sighed, knowing that resurfacing the topic if anything to with Andre would end badly, especially after the comment Ellie made.

“It was only one time babe, you were out with your friends, I was working late, Nate was out of town. I didn’t exactly have a choice. Those things Ellie said, I understand you are upset but until we can find someone else I don’t know what you expect me to do or what we’re going to do come next week.” Closing the dryer, you accompanied him on the couch, not looking for a fight but a resolution, but he loved to fight.

“I don’t want some strange, douchebag guy that wants to sleep with my girl around my kids Y/N. Plain and simple. Don’t worry about next week I’ll figure it out.” The way he ended the sentence meant there was no room for any other decisions. He wouldn’t allow it and quite frankly he was ready to choke this bitch out and arrange a little meetup in an ally to beat the shit out of him “And I don’t want a boyfriend who is high all the damn time yet here we are. Your bad habit isn’t just killing you, it’s killing us.” Yeah maybe you were right but maybe his trust issues got in the way of that cause as far as he was concerned if he saw Andre or even heard about him being here again he was gonna call up some of his buddied and make him a dead man.

This constant back and forth bullshit was getting you nowhere and frustrating the every living fuck out of him.

“I promise you I’ll go into rehab again once we get this shit figured out. But you gotta promise he ain’t coming around our kids anymore, and tell him to get rid of this fuckin number.”

“ And I will okay? No more Andre. I promise.” He nodded still not believing this guy was going to leave you alone but for now he wanted to relax, the pills already taking effect and making him drowsy he just hoped you couldn’t tell. Trying to avert attention from himself, his hands grasped your thighs pulling you into his lap and caressing your ass cheeks making you giggle.

“What’re you doing?”

“What I cant feel my girl up? C’mon the kids are asleep. We could get in a round or two.” That would be nice and a big stress relief, you could already feel his large bulge growing beneath you, causing your pussy to throb in anticipation while you rolled your hips down against him before pulling your shirt off, revealing your breasts.

“What’re you waiting for then?” You leaned in closely to his ear, lips just brushing over the bottom lobe and biting playfully.

“Fuck me.”

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

[tr1nd2de]

Captain Marvel is disconcerting

I was looking at wonderjanga's post (Marvel and YJ) and I realized how disconcerting it is to see Captain Marvel going from a powerhouse to a person unqualified to be an adult.

Captain Marvel has always been someone very wise given the wisdom of Solomon, however it is not uncommon to see that the man. doing something very good, but it's disconcerting. And the league...doesn't understand how someone who not only acts like a child can change so quickly.

Even though the stories he creates while alone are as simple as a child's, they can be so different from the stationery he hands over to Batman. In his paperwork there is nothing but extremely perfect text. No spelling mistakes that indicate that the papers that Marvel writes for himself, have indications that they are made by the same person.

(not that this applies to me, spelling mistakes are just the basics)

Then comes the drawings, which are so different from each other. Marvel felt comfortable drawing at the end of a meeting, and the drawing was deplorable, done in a way that reminds someone who has never drawn so much in his life, even though he apparently lived as long as Diana. So Marvel, after returning from a mission, takes a painting and paint, which not even the league knew were in the tower. And draws a never-before-seen work of art, in a way that is quite innovative, just because Dinha jokingly asked that she should earn a reward from the big red cheese, for helping him make a wardrobe with normal clothes from this century.

(The painting must be worth a lot of money, and Dinah is perplexed that she got a piece of art, just because she picked out some clothes for Marvel)

(This idea also came from wonderjanga’s post (Marvel Wearing C.C.’s Clothes)

I can imagine how disconcerting it must be for Batman to try to understand Marvel, he always acts like a child most of the time, but when he asks Marvel to give an insight into the plan, Marvel describes an extremely efficient military tactic that Batman himself hadn't thought of.

Marvel was chosen to be YJ's den mother, just because Red Tornado and Black Canary were on a mission. It was supposed to be something simple, right? Give the teenagers a break. We sent Marvel so he could distract the team and they could rest. So it was extremely disconcerting for the league to see Marvel trying to get all the teens on their toes in an experimental combat class. Marvel usually acts like a child around the league, so why does he act like he should here? being a serious person in passing the oral lesson and giving useful tips to YJ

Which brings us to the next question: why when Marvel fights, he fights in such an incredibly sloppy way. Superman has seen Marvel hold back from biting his opponents. In practically all the fights so far it has been like this, Marvel doesn't seem to be taking this seriously, so one day Hawkgirl gives Marvel an ultimatum, either he learns to fight properly or he won't go on missions for a while. So Marvel, seeing that he has no option to deny or flee, he fights. Using the same fighting art as Diana, it was quite efficient, let's say, it's a bit scary to see Marvel fight seriously.

This idea also came from a post by imnotditzy ( Billy and Marvel have very different fighting styles.)

It's disconcerting to everyone that Marvel acts like a child, but in reality he is extremely efficient in everything he does.

Batman is having trouble dealing with Marvel's contingency plan, especially after he discovers that the supposed demigod is nothing more than a 13-year-old child. It is extremely disconcerting that such power was given to a homeless and orphaned child. At least now the league understands why Marvel acts the way it does. And all attempts to send him to YJ are vehemently denied. expelling Marvel is also not an option since, as the saying goes: he will not stop doing his job as a "champion of magic" and hero.

So even though it's disconcerting, the league now has a 13-year-old capable of going head-to-head with the most powerful beings in the world and beyond. And OH, his last name is Batson.

[admiringlove]

[13:21] . . .

out of nowhere, one summer afternoon, your best friend asks you a question you never thought he would.

“you still got a thing for me?”

you raise your eyebrows, eyes poring off the book you were reading as you laid on your stomach in bed. your legs, blissfully held up in your knees find their way back to the bed, as you watch him. he’s playing with some trinket he found on your windowsill; an old figurine you loved to collect back in highschool. he’s not looking at you—he won’t look at you, and you know it.

the summer air hadn’t bothered you until now. now, it just felt too hot and too stuffy and too humid in your room. the bedsheets with cherries printed on them felt too childish and you felt as if you were being transported back to the times in highschool when you trailed after him like a lost puppy even though you were his best friend and his partner in crime after his twin brother.

“osamu, you knew?” for the first time, you call him by his name. not “‘samu”, or “bear” or any cheeky nicknames you’d given him. just plain old osamu. you had half the mind to fuck with him and call him “miya” but you think it’d take it too far.

that’s when he looks at you. he’s laying on your bed too, with his back against the fluffy pillows you like. you’re laying half-way down the bed, whereas he’s on your right, a little above you. the window above his head is open, and a small breeze flitters its way inside, the linen curtains swaying above his head as you watch him. your glasses perched on top of your nose as you scrutinize him. you’re judging him—or at least that’s what he thinks you’re doing because you never ever call him by just his name.

“i had an idea, i think,” he says, looking back at the figurine in his hand. it was some video-game character, he reckons. you and atsumu used to fight to play it in the arcade with your pocket money for the week. and then osamu had to buy all three of you meat buns because you’d run out of money at the arcade.

“right,” you say, a bitter and avoidant tone lacing your words as you look back at your book. he can’t tell what you’re thinking, and you can’t tell what he wants.

had he always been like this? were you too much in love with him to notice that he knew all along and didn’t bother to say anything?

“you didn’t answer my question,” he says. and it makes you wonder how much audacity he has running through his veins. you make a face, as if you’d smelled something pungent. your lips scrunched and your eyebrows knotted as you try to think how to respond, “i don’t want to.”

“why not?” he asks, perching himself up onto his elbow. you look back up from your book, and the sunlight that falls on his face and highlights his freckles makes you almost swoon. you catch yourself though. “because i don’t want to, miya.”

a deep physical pain festers itself in his chest when he hears you say his last name with gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. he blinks, sitting up, the figurine still in his hand as he rubs its face as hard as he can with his thumb to ground himself. “but i want to know.”

“and i don’t want to fucking tell you,” you quip, sparing him nothing but a dirty glance. he sucks in a sharp breath, watching you. had he distanced himself from you so much that being near him hurt you too? but he’d only been busy. in the last year of highschool, there was some obvious tension in between you, him and atsumu because of osamu’s decision to not pursue volleyball. you’d been crushed in between two men with big egos and big dreams, and you’d somehow managed to stay neutral. and then college happened. everyone moved to different places. osamu and you to tokyo. atsumu to okinawa for camp. then osamu got busy with his multiple part-time jobs and certification prep for his restaurant. he’d exchange five to ten minute phone calls with you once a week. but in the last six months, he hadn’t managed to do that either.

so he’d thought, at least it was summer now. he’d have more time to slow down and look around him.

“why not?” he asks, voice shaky and intuitive. he wants to read you again. he wants you to be his abditory again. he wants you back in his life the way it used to be before tokyo. he remembers the feeling still—you and him, standing in his kitchen in hyogo, as you try something he’d cooked. you’d always have that excited look in your eyes. and he’d always assumed you’d continue to have it till the end of time. maybe he was wrong.

“because it wasn’t a stupid fucking crush, ‘samu,” you laugh, but it’s not funny, “i was in love with you and you never noticed. as simple as that.”

“i said i had an idea,” he furrows his brows. it’s like you didn’t want his company anymore. did you not like being around him? what was the problem? he had taken notice, he just hadn’t taken any action. he reckons he wasn’t ready.

or was he just scared? he doesn’t know. but he watches as you turn your attention back to the book, and he feels a crack form under the two of you. as if you were slowly slipping away, and he couldn’t do anything about it. he scoffs slightly, prying the book away from you and placing it somewhere on the bed haphazardly as you protest. “osamu, seriously, stop being such a dick!”

“i’m talkin’ to you,” he says, sitting up straight. he rubs his thumb against the figurine’s face feeling its nose against the pad of his finger. he presses down hard, wanting to feel something. he hopes you’d notice how nervous he is.

“and i don’t want to talk to you because you’re a selfish prick,” you say, taking off your glasses and running a hand through your hair. you’re looking up at him with an emotional he can’t quite place, but he thinks it aligns somewhere with disgust. it makes him sick.

it’s not like he never noticed. he knew that the way you clung to him when you were younger had to be more than platonic. you’d stare at him with big eyes, blinking as if he hung the world together by strings and stars—and he’d feel that flutter in his stomach as if he were a child.

you’re both sitting in an awkward silence, the tension thickening the air like the humidity outside. osamu looks down at the figurine, its face now marred by the rough treatment. he feels like it’s a metaphor for you and him—something once cherished, now tarnished by neglect and misunderstanding.

“do you remember that summer festival in hyogo?” you suddenly ask, breaking the silence. the question catches him off guard, and he looks up, momentarily surprised that you’re shifting the conversation back to a happier time. but it’s a welcome distraction, he thinks.

“which year?” he replies, leaning back slightly, curiosity flickering across his face.

“the one where you tried to eat all the dango, but ended up just staring at the fireworks with half a stick in your mouth,” you chuckle, and it’s a sound he’s missed. the soft melody of your laughter contrasts sharply with the heaviness that has settled between you.

osamu feels warmth creep into his cheeks at the memory. he remembers the way the sky lit up, vibrant colors bursting in the night, mirroring the excitement in his chest as he watched you watch the fireworks. you had looked so beautiful, illuminated by the kaleidoscope of colors, your eyes sparkling with wonder. he had been so caught up in how pretty you looked, he forgot to chew. perhaps that was some kind of infatuation that he just didn't understand at the time. maybe if he simply had-

he shakes his head at the thought. there's no use thinking of what could've been.

“yeah, and ya made fun of me the entire time,” he smiles, trying hard to lighten the mood and to forget his current train of thought.

“because you looked ridiculous!” you tease, but there’s a hint of painful nostalgia in your voice. “you had this concentrated look like you were on a mission. i couldn’t stop laughing.”

he chuckles softly, but the sound feels hollow. “you were just jealous i because I could eat my weight in dango.”

you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling now, and he takes that as a small victory. “i don’t think i ever ate that much. but-” your voice trails off, and he can see a shadow passing over your face. “it was nice, wasn’t it? being young and… oblivious?”

“yeah, it was,” he admits, a hint of melancholy creeping into his tone. “we had so much fun back then. it feels like we were invincible.”

and it did. back then, when he'd drag you out to try random foods at stalls or simply to go on a walk. it felt as if he could do it forever. have you by his side as his constant in this ever-changing world of his—where his brother was a professional volleyball player and he would simply be a restaurant owner someday.

“were we?” you asked, voice incredulous as you tilted your head, “the whole time, it kinda felt like you were the invincible one and i was just there. it’s like how you feel with atsumu.”

this makes osamu pause. had you really felt that way all this time? inferior? the thought lodged itself deep in his chest, a heavy weight he couldn’t shake off. he had never meant for you to feel that way. in his eyes, you had always been the spark—the one who brought color to his world when everything else felt gray and predictable.

“i never thought that, you know?” he finally says, his voice soft, almost hesitant. “i thought- i thought you were always the brave one. always ready to dive into new things, while i was just there. playing it safe.”

your brow furrows as you process his words. “brave? me? i was just following you around, trying to keep up,” you reply, a hint of bitterness creeping into your tone.

“but you did keep up. you were always right there beside me,” osamu insists, his gaze searching yours, desperate for you to understand. “you made everything more fun. without you, i’d just be-” he hesitates, the reality of his words hanging in the air, “i’d just be some guy in a kitchen, flipping meat buns and rice balls.”

“but that’s what you want, isn’t it?" you challenge, a fire igniting in your eyes.

“it is,” he admits, his heart racing as he watches you, “but it’s not the only thing i want.” he swallows hard, unsure if he should say more, if he should reveal the way you had always been a part of that dream, a silent partner in the chaos of his life.

the silence stretches between you, charged with unspoken words and tangled emotions. osamu feels a wave of uncertainty crash over him. the weight of his thoughts, his feelings, it all feels too heavy to carry alone. “sometimes, i wish i could go back,” he confesses, “to the way things were before everything got complicated.”

a small flash of a memory passes by in front of his eyelids. just for a split second, he sees a younger version of himself chasing fireflies alongside you in his backyard. jumping up to the first branches of the apple tree his grandfather had planted, the two of you miserably failing. the thought makes his lip curve upward.

“complicated? bear, we’re not kids anymore. we can’t just go back.” your voice is firm, but there’s a softness in your eyes that he can’t ignore.

“i know,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “but sometimes it feels like... like i’m losing you in all this.” he gestures around, to the walls that had once held laughter and secrets but now felt like a cage.

“losing me?” you echo, your expression shifting to something more vulnerable. “do you even know how many times i’ve sat here wondering if you even wanted me around anymore? it’s like you’ve been drifting away, and i- i don’t want to be just a memory for you.”

the truth of your words hits him like a cold splash of water, and he’s left grappling with the realization that he has indeed let the distance grow between you. osamu feels his heart ache, the weight of regret settling over him like a heavy fog.

“i never meant to push you away. life just... got in the way. and with 'tsumu doing so well, it’s hard not to compare myself.” he pauses, the vulnerability of admitting that laying bare the fragility of his ego. “i thought if i focused on my dreams, i wouldn’t lose you in the process.”

“but that’s just it,” you murmur, voice barely above a whisper. “you’re so focused on what’s ahead that you forgot to look around and see what you have right now.”

osamu feels the sting of your words, a deep ache forming in his chest. “i don’t want to lose you,” he says finally, the honesty hanging heavy in the air. “but i don’t know how to fix this.”

he feels an estranged sensation pool at the pit of his stomach. it’s an unsettling mix of longing and disillusionment, a swirling tornado of emotions that seems to siphon away the warmth he had once felt in your presence. he remembers a time when everything between you had been easy—like a favorite song playing in the background, its melody effortlessly weaving through the fabric of his days. his relationship with you was always like a distant childhood memory; as if he were sitting on his bed whilst rain poured outside and laughter could be heard in the next room.

he can’t help but feel like he’s caught in a dream that has turned surreal, where the colors have faded, and the edges of reality blur into something unrecognizable. the laughter that had once come so easily now feels like a ghost haunting the hallways of his memory, a faint echo that reminds him of what he’s lost.

"maybe it's not about fixing it," you say, sitting up. he blinks a few times, as you push up your glasses. his eyes focus on your frame—the way you criss-cross your legs and look at him with that expression he could never pinpoint properly. something like how an older mentor figure would in disappointment, but with a hint of hope. "maybe, it's simply about trying."

and maybe, just maybe, he wasn't trying hard enough. maybe he wasn't trying at all.

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt XVI good omens season 2 (still not traumatic) episode 3 EDINBURGH

HELLO IT'S ME IT'S THE OFFICIAL GOOD OMENS MASCOT WHY DO I STILL KEEP INTRODUCING MYSELF IDK. If you don't know who I am, thank God and Satan for their mercy and flee. Also, the day after I post this, I'll be watching the last three episodes on livestream for the first time so. You know. I'm hyped on the energy of this being my last day not enveloped in tears. Take the summary:

Before the episode starts, someone asks why Crowley said in the last episode that Aziraphale couldn't fall because look at him, all angelic when Crowley looked the same as starmaker. I reply that "Crowley thinks he deserved it, he sees Azi as something beautiful and untouched while he probably sees himself as idk marked in some way so god kicked him down."

I am told that I am learning too fast to weaponise the narrative to induce angst. So then I say oh, I go too fast for you. Tears ensue.

The episode begins! Everyone shrieks about Edinburgh, David Tennant, how it is their favourite episode, and SCOTTISH CROWLEY.

We open with lesbians being gay, and then Muriel enters as Inspector Constable! They are very sweet and very determined to do their job right, and they are adopted by Crowley and Aziraphale just like Jim.

Crowley sits on Aziraphale's chair's arm. The maggots all swoon.

Fine, I also swooned.

Aziraphale gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss-mansplain-manipulate-manwhores his way into getting Crowley to give him the Bentley keys (BOUNDARIES. BOUNDARIES.).

WHAT PLENTY OF USE DO BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF THE BOOKSHOP?

The really ineffable plan is whatever the fuck was happening in Aziraphale's brain when he somehow went from London to Edinburgh via Loch Ness (check the map) and then proceeded to disguise himself as a detective who pretends to be a journalist.

Crowley slays in sleeve garters and a cardigan keeping house in the bookshop meanwhile, does not sell books, instead cleans with Jimbriel and periodically yeets book stacks into corners when distracted.

Aziraphale reads his old diary entries about Crowley, a (6000+) 13 year old with a crush.

MINISODE MINISODE. They are in Edinburgh during the mid 1800s. Victorian outfits, check. Scottish Crowley, check. Capitalist Karen Aziraphale, che-wait what.

Huh. Well. There's a wee bit of body snatchin' going on, to sell to doctors for medical research because there aren't enough murderers, and to make enough money to survive.

Aziraphale channels his inner capitalist judgemental Karen and ruins that plan, come on Aziraphale you have religious trauma but you're better than this, and long story short, Wee Morag dies after Aziraphale realises his error, her friend Elspeth has to sell her corpse for pennies, and is about to commit suicide with laudanum. Azi, oh god. I'm glad you underwent character development at least.

NOW CROWLEY HERE SLAYS. I KNOW THIS IS AZIRAPHALE'S PERSPECTIVE AND IS BIASED. BUT WITH THIS POV, CROWLEY SLAYS.

He calmly educates Aziraphale about how his whole "the poor have more opportunities and you shouldn't give them money or they'll lose the virtue of poverty" is absolute bullshit, and he does this understanding Aziraphale's situation and not losing his temper.

The framing. The framing of the shot when they see Wee Morag and Elspeth sitting down on a step and explaining their situation. Aziraphale stands above, bustling with righteousness, and judges them. Crowley sits down. He sits down next to them, rather than taking the high ground. He meets them where they are and empathises. It is the fact that he is fallen and damned that makes him behave really divine and sorry I wrote a whole hymn on him have it I'll stop rambling just know I love him.

I think his amusement is a facade so hell won't think he's genuinely being good. I think he's morally grey and incredibly brave and kind.

When Elspeth is bouta kill herself with the laudanum, Crowley grabs it and drinks it himself, and grows tiny and then huge, absolutely high off his head. David Tennant takes the opportunity to travel Scotland from east to west in terms of accent variety.

He gives us the good message of NO DYIN'. NO MORE DYIN'. IT'S NOT ON. And then forces Aziraphale (who doesn't want to ruin her virtuous poverty) to give the girl all the guineas he has in his pocket, and tells her to go off and start a farm or something. BUT NOT JUST PRETENDY GOOD, BE PROPERLY GOOD.

He then gets pulled into hell. To be punished for this. Aziraphale is frightened and heartbroken for him, looking around desperately, and we find out that Crowley didn't meet him for a while after. And later he wanted holy water. To protect himself? He got punished by hell. For how long? The whole month in between the incident and the diary entry? There can't be anyone better at punishment and cruelty than hell.

Sorry I'm just screaming here.

Never mind fuck I started this summary really happy and bouncy and listening to a dance playlist. Dionysus by BTS and Italian pop is still playing and now I'm crying.

Is this the natural progression. Fuck I'm crying. Sorry guys something else happens with Aziraphale politely talking to a phone and Crowley smiling really beautifully while unsuccessfully trying to manipulate two lesbians into a relationship and something about a visit I don't care everyone's being morally dubious as usual and then lovely Scottish music outro I CAN'T FUCKING ELABORATE I'M SITTING HERE CRYING OVER CROWLEY.

right summary done, time to go sob, lmao i thought i wouldn't cry today over good omens HAHAHAHA still not traumatic eh HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[baronessvonglitter]

Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 1 🍒

“Austin”

pre-outbreak! AU!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word count: 2K

Summary: new to the city, you befriend Sarah, and in a time of need you befriend her dad Joel

WARNINGS: this particular chapter is safe for everyone to read, but future chapters will contain smut; mild cursing, little bit of flirting; age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 35); reader is tomboyish but otherwise no race specified and will not be throughout the series; until otherwise specified, this story takes place in the summer of 2003 and is AU with no outbreak, no use of y/n.

Author's Note: this was the first fic I ever wrote, after months of lurking on AO3. It's one of my favorites to write and probably my most popular on AO3, so I'm bringing her to the party. In this particular chapter Joel fixes a sink, and I did minimal investigating into the world of plumbing, so obviously any mistakes are just gonna be there.

Series Masterlist

Austin is quiet. So much quieter than where you came from: Houston, the city on the bayou, where there's always something fun to do. Not that Austin is without its charm, it just kind of feels like living on the moon after the hustle and bustle of your hometown, the fourth largest city in the US. But the people are friendly, the vibes are mellow, and you soon begin to feel at home.

Soon you'll be starting college at the University of Texas, a school you've had your eye on since fifth grade. Your mom, overprotective but meaning well, allowed you to stay with your older cousin Sofia rather than living on campus. And you're excited about it because even with a roommate, this is your first time on your own, away from home, about to really live your life.

School starts in a couple months, so in the meantime you get a job at a new Starbucks in town, providing you with a little spending money. The first few days are a blur, making drinks, learning the register. But it keeps you busy, A few times a week a younger group of kids come in, ordering the cheapest things on the menu. One of them, a girl 13 or 14 years old, approaches the counter. She studies the overhead menu with an air of seriousness. "What's in a frappuccino?" she asks.

"Um, coffee, espresso, milk, ice, and syrup blended together, basically. Comes with whipped cream on top. I could give you one to try," you offer, as your manager is out that day.

"Sure," the girl answers eagerly.

You make the cold, frothy drink and hand it to her. "I'm still pretty new at this, so if you hate it, I'm sorry," you joke.

She smiles and walks back to her friends, sipping the frapp.

You work until evening and pick up some fast food on the way home, Getting out of the car with your food you lean back against the vehicle, stretching a little, trying to wake yourself up a bit. Then you hear the sound of a truck coming up the driveway next door and the engine shutting off. There are a couple of voices you hear as the people begin to exit the truck.

"Hey, she's the one who gave me the free coffee today," you hear, and though it likely isn't meant for you to hear, you glance over and see the young girl from earlier today, climbing out of the truck. From around the driver's side you see a man, mid-thirties, tall, well-built, a black t-shirt clinging to his torso. Dirtied jeans and work boots complete his attire. It takes a moment before you realize he's looking at you.

Immediately you glance back at the girl, obviously his daughter. "Hey," you smile and give a quick, awkward wave. She waves back politely and he gives a curt nod and quick wave. They make their way up the front porch and you hear his gruff voice: "You had coffee? Great, now you'll be bouncin' off the walls all evenin'," before the door closes behind them.

"Guess I met my neighbors," you mutter, making your way inside as well.

Over the next few days the girl, who you now know as Sarah Miller, comes to Starbucks, ordering the same frapp every time. "Don't tell your dad I'm giving you all this caffeine," you tell her, hiding a smirk.

Sometimes you give her a ride home from the cafe, though she claims to use the bus now and then. You come to see that Sarah is a lot more mature than you were at her age. You hang out from time to time, swim in your backyard pool, go to the mall, and every time you drop her off you catch a glimpse of her dad, always a figure in the background. You exchange a wave or polite smile and move on.

It's your day off, a Sunday. You intend to spend the day lounging, watching TV. Maybe Sarah will stop by. After making a quick breakfast for yourself you do the dishes. When you're finished, you realize the class ring you'd set on the counter is gone, likely washed down the sink. "Damn!" you exclaim, and text Sofia, who has just left for work.

Go next door and ask Mr. Miller if he can take a look and get it out. He's helped around the house before your cousin replies.

You sigh and put the phone down.

You're a little hesitant going to speak to him. His truck is in the driveway so you know he's home. You knock on the door, feeling self-conscious about your first interaction with him, and Mr. Miller opens the door.

"Good morning," you introduce yourself. "I'm Sarah's friend.. from next door."

"Nice to meet ya, I'm Joel Miller." He extends a calloused hand and you shake it. You've always assumed him to be a man who does hard work for a living, but in your first time seeing him up close you admire his tousled, dark brown hair, his deep brown eyes that seem serious. "What can I do for ya?" he asks in his gentle Texan drawl.

You smile. "Well, I was told you're pretty handy around the house, and I lost my ring in the sink just now." You chuckle at your mistake. "Would it be possible for you to come over and take a look?" You feel really shy about asking this of a man you barely know.

He takes a moment to think, clears his throat, raises his brow. "I suppose I could stop by." His tone is gruff but his manner seems warm enough. "I'll give it a shot. I'm no plumber, but I'll see what I can do." He shrugs.

You smile and sigh with relief. "Of course. I mean, even you just checking it out would be a big help.. whenever you can stop by I'll be here." You don't want to make demands on his time.

"All right.. I'm not doin' much right now, so I could swing 'round if you like. Just let me grab my toolbox."

Once inside, with minimal conversation Joel gets on the floor, under the sink, and gets to work. You wait nearby, trying not to hover, but also wanting to be available in case he needs anything. Plus he's good looking. You watch as he works. His shirt rides up, revealing his torso, and a hint of the waistband of his underwear. Your eyes wander lower until you force them away. To distract yourself you start putting things away in the cupboard.

"Sarah tells me you're new to Austin," he says as he works.

"Yeah, I'm actually from Houston. I'm starting UT in the fall, and staying with my cousin in the meantime. I take it you know Sofia?"

"I do. She's nice. I keep an eye on her place when she's away. Even when you're there."

You mean to say something in reply, maybe 'thank you' but you're thinking about him keeping a protective watch over your home while you're inside, unaware.

"So you're starting university? How old are ya?" he asks.

Something about his question makes you feel like a deer in headlights. "I'll be nineteen in September. On the twenty-sixth."

You can almost hear the smile in his voice. "No shit? That's my birthday. Except I'm far from nineteen. Small world, ain't it?"

"Yeah," you say, sneaking another glance at his torso.

"What're you studyin'?"

"English," you answer, excited to talk about it. "More specifically Literature. I want to write, and maybe one day work at a huge publishing house."

You hear Joel give a grunt. "What do you write?"

"Poetry sometimes, short stories, I have a few ideas for novels."

Another grunt. "You don't look like the type.. the writer type.. no offense."

"What type do I look like?" Your heart races as you realize he's categorized you already.

He peeks out from under the sink and his eyes fix on you in a way that makes you shiver. "I don't know yet. But you're young. Maybe you're the rebellious type." He goes back to work.

You sit on the floor, your back against the fridge opposite him. "How am I the rebellious type to you?"

He's quiet, and you see the gleam of his eyes from where he's under the sink. "Haven't quite figured it out yet.."

You can tell he's having fun with this, and there's a vibration in the air, a palpable chord struck, and you wonder if he feels it too.

"Anything I can do? Feeling kinda helpless over here," you chuckle.

"Just stay out of the way," his voice is more gruff than maybe he intends. Frowning, his eyes focus on an item lodged in the P-trap. He reaches in and pulls out your ring. It's covered in gunk and grime but you recognize it immediately.

"Oh shit! Thank you..." It's your class ring. 'Class of 2003' is engraved on the side, with a princess cut sapphire on top. You put it aside to clean it later.

Joel smirks. "No problem."

"I really owe you one."

"I dunno about that. Just don't go throwin' away your valuable stuff next time, okay?" He's teasing, almost playful.

You laugh "Okay.. hey I'm working at the cafe tomorrow. If you come by I could get you a free coffee." You put the offer out there, testing the waters though you aren't sure why.

"Free coffee? Careful, girl, between giving away free stuff to me and Sarah, you're gonna run Starbucks out of business," he grins. "But yeah, I might have to stop by."

You walk him out, even though Joel says it's not necessary, but you can tell he enjoys your company. "I guess I'll be seeing you around Joel.. Mr. Miller."

He stifles a chuckle. There's a touch of amusement in the way he speaks to you, but he hides it behind a warm, open expression. "Call me Joel. No need to be so formal around me."

"If my mom was here she'd say I was being disrespectful, calling you by your first name." You can't help a little blush.

"I won't complain about respect," he smiles again.

"She's pretty protective of me," you describe your living situation, your freedom that is being given in increments.

"Well your mom might've done you a favor there." Joel looks out past your front porch. "That's probably a wise decision, ya know? What about your dad? He ok with you living far from home?"

You shake your head. "He's not.. really in the picture. My parents divorced about five years ago. My dad went up north, Minnesota I think, and I haven't seen him since.." You feel a little vulnerable revealing this.

Joel's brow furrows and his expression darkens. You wonder if he's thinking about Sarah. You don't know much about her mother and haven't felt okay to ask. "I'm sorry to hear that. Are you all right?"

You shrug. "I guess so. I've managed this long without him.." You give a smile that doesn't reach your eyes. "I shouldn't be bothering you with all this.."

"No problem, I don't mind listenin'. Do me a favor," he says suddenly. "Be careful out there, okay?"

Something about this catches you off guard. "Of course I will."

He smiles. "Good. I'll see you at the cafe tomorrow," he phrases it like a hopeful question.

"Bright and early," you say, feeling a few butterflies in your stomach.

He laughs and nods. "Til then."

You watch him leave and though you cringe at how young, foolish, childish you must appear to him, you can't deny that you feel something, even for a brief moment. Maybe it's nothing. But something about him sticks with you, an odd feeling in your chest. But it's just a dumb, knee-jerk reaction. He has a family, he's twice your age. You're focused on school and your future. Joel Miller is the last person you should be thinking about...

...right?

next chapter ->

divider by @saradika-graphics 👑

[steddielations]

Flight of Icarus Character List

Lore Part 1 | Part 2

- Eddie Munson: Our boy is 18 years old, lives alone in his dad's house with Wayne checking in on him. By 1984, he's the lead singer and guitarist of Corroded Coffin and the DM for Hellfire. He's known as Freak King at school, and Munson Junior around town, he hates both. His grades are bad, but the only trouble he gets in at school is getting blamed for fights with jocks that he doesn't start or win. He works as a barback at the Hideout where his band plays sometimes. His status as town pariah due to his dad's criminal reputation and being an outcast deeply affects him. He wants nothing more than to escape that image, even if he's trading it for a different image. The story kicks off when he gets a chance to chase a record deal in California and teams up with his dad to get the money to move.

- Al Munson: Eddie’s dad, he comes in and out of Eddie's life. He's been abandoning Eddie alone/with Wayne for long stretches since Eddie was a child. Al's very charismatic and has even made Jim Hopper laugh. He uses that "Munson Magic" to manipulate everyone around him, he's a conman and career criminal. He taught Eddie guitar, but also taught Eddie to jack cars at age 10 and only sees Eddie as his little minion. He comes back to town, claiming he's fresh out of a prison stint in Colorado with a debt he needs to repay, and enlists Eddie into helping him rob a truck carrying drugs from his former boss. He leaves details out of the story that blow up in their faces. In the end, he leaves again when Eddie needs him most.

- Wayne Munson: Eddie’s uncle, factory job guy and the best caregiver as we all predicted. Wayne’s a quiet guy, very emotionally reserved too. Eddie says he’s never even heard Wayne yell, he’s non-confrontational. He doesn’t like Al, says nothing even when Al tries to instigate an argument. He deeply cares for Eddie. Eddie is very stubbornly independent, so used to being on his own because of Al, and Wayne tries to respect his boundaries while also being concerned, as Eddie gets very prickly about it. He tries his best to keep Eddie from getting roped in with Al, but overall he lets Eddie make his own decisions. He seems like he wants to just bundle Eddie in a hug at times, but they're not to that point yet in the book. In the end, Al's scheme gets their house burned down, so Wayne permanently takes Eddie in. He shapes Eddie by telling him he’s not his dad and to stop caring what people think and not to put himself in a box. Some nice tidbits: Wayne has a green thumb, reads Gardener’s Weekly magazine and goes to a bar called the Attic on Fridays.

- Ronnie Ecker: Eddie’s childhood best friend. She lives with her grandma in the trailer park. Her father passed away and her mother is implied mentally unstable. She meets Eddie when they’re 8. She’s described as tall, taller than Eddie since they were kids, always wearing a corduroy hat, and people mistake them for siblings. She’s the first drummer of cc. Ronnie and Eddie formed the band specifically because they had to do the middle school talent show. Then Gareth becomes the drummer when she graduates. She’s also in Hellfire, wants to go to law school and has a full ride scholarship to NYU. She’s sort of implied aro/ace after Eddie tries to kiss her when they’re 13, she says it’s not just Eddie, she doesn’t think she’ll ever have a crush on anyone. Ronnie is perceptive and smart and she teases Eddie a lot but they’re very protective of each other. Eddie gets blackmailed by Principal Higgins into dropping out when he threatens to jeopardize Ronnie's scholarship. Eddie never tells Ronnie this, even when they have a fight about him choosing to end Hellfire because Higgins convinced him his friends would be better off. This causes them to leave off on vague terms when she goes to NYU.

- Dougie Teague: This could possibly be unnamed freak from the show, but there’s an age discrepancy because he’s the same age as Ronnie and Eddie in the books and it says he graduates. So he would have to fail senior year twice along with Eddie to still be in high school in the show as unnamed freak. Dougie is the backup cc guitar player, whereas unnamed freak played bass in the show. Dougie is brash and blurts things out. He lives where Eddie calls the nice side of town and they rehearse in his garage. Dougie’s mom is not fond of Eddie but lets them practice there. Dougie’s dad is an HVAC truck guy.

- Jeff (no last name): Jeff is a sophomore and the bass player for CC, whereas in the show he plays guitar. Jeff comes across as reserved compared to Eddie and Ronnie. He played D&D with his older brothers before joining Hellfire. Eddie says Jeff knows more about bass than him. Jeff is ‘the nice one’ and generally nervous and anxious. He’s reasonable but he looks up to Eddie and buys into what Eddie says about the band getting a deal even if it’s unrealistic. Jeff is awkward around girls, wants to do good in school and he’s afraid of getting in trouble. The owner of the Hideout bar lets the band split a beer and Jeff is nervous the whole time. Also, when Eddie screws up, Jeff is the first to forgive him.

- Gareth (no last name): Gareth takes on the role of Eddie’s first sheep, whereas everyone else are Eddie’s friends, Gareth is like the little kid he’s fond of. Gareth is a freshman, there’s a whole scene of Eddie helping him create a D&D character. He’s hotheaded and a target for bullies. Eddie sticks up for him a couple times, and once, Gareth barrels in shrieking and throwing windmill punches to stop Eddie from getting jumped by Tommy H and crew, which results in Gareth going to the hospital with a fractured wrist.

- Rick Lipton (Reefer Rick): Rick is a very typical laid back stoner character. He's around 35, described as a giant soft guy with big smiling eyes and friendly face, wearing a Smokey the Bear shirt, and not what Eddie expected from a drug dealer. His house is also not what Eddie expected, being pretty clean compared to Eddie's teenage inhabited space. Eddie meets Rick through his dad, who has screwed Rick over in the past and this makes Rick unwilling to be the buyer of what they're going to steal off the drug truck. Eddie however puts on his best "Munson Magic" and convinces Rick. Rick is impressed and calls him Munson Junior, which Eddie hates. He goes back to Rick at the end of the book, needing money and a job. Rick gets him started dealing.

- Elizabeth Munson (maiden name Franklin): Eddie’s mom, he's a certified mama's boy. She doesn't appear in the book, Eddie says she got sick and passed away when he was around 6. She's originally from Memphis, Tennessee, where she met Al and they moved to Hawkins when she was 19, they got married March 12th, 1966. She loved Eddie's dad but Eddie says Al was always leaving her to go off on schemes. She passed her love of music onto Eddie. Her favorite was Chicago blues, Eddie didn't understand why until she passed and he started to feel it in his bones too. Eddie remembers dancing with her to Muddy Waters' "Rollin' Stone" and when the song comes on in the truck while he's doing business with Al, it makes him tear up. He recalls this memory several times, it seems like it’s his happiest memory. He says "When Elizabeth Munson was happy, the whole entire world was happy." His biggest connection to his mom was through her music. Then when Al's scheme goes wrong, the people he screwed over show up and burn down their house in an act of revenge. Eddie almost gets killed trying to save his mom's records, but they burn.

- Paige Warner: Paige is a junior scout at WR Music. She's not described beyond having freckles, chin-length dark hair and dark eyes. She has a younger brother on the Hawkins baseball team. At the Hideout, she sees Eddie's band playing and he chalks up the courage to talk to her. (He's squeaky and blushy, no game) Paige is in town for her grandmother's funeral, she remembers Eddie from the middle school talent show, though she is two years older. She likes his band because they're "real". She returns another night and Eddie (after some bad news that makes him desperate to chase his future) propositions her to get them a record deal. She's insulted, having told Eddie that guys use her for that reason, but they agree to work together. Paige pays for the studio time for cc to record the demo tape. In the meantime, Paige meets Al and Eddie is beside himself the entire time, not wanting her to find out the dirty work they're doing to fund his future. Then, Paige's boss only likes Eddie, and when she delivers this news, Eddie expresses that he doesn't want to ditch his band, but she says this will benefit both of them. So he agrees and it's implied they start hooking up, never making things official. She leaves for California and he's supposed to go later for his audition and stay with her. This doesn't happen, Eddie's heist with Al lands him temporarily in jail, and over a heated phone call, things end between them. It's implied that Paige pays his bail but never speaks to him again.

- Tommy Hayes: It's debatable whether this is supposed to be Tommy H from the show, whether his last name was always Hagan or if that was a fanon thing. Given his proximity to the jocks and being bitter that Steve has changed since dating Nancy, it's supposed to be Tommy H from the show. He's extremely violent in the book, which doesn't track so much with Tommy in the show, who's more of a shit-talker lackey. This Tommy bullies Eddie for being poor, a freak, and the son of a criminal. He bullies the whole Hellfire club and beats Eddie up on two occasions, punches Ronnie (accidentally?) when she tries to protect Gareth, and puts Gareth in the hospital. He faces no repercussions because the Principal is on his side, as Tommy's family is influential and rich.

- Principal Higgins: The principal of Hawkins High. Eddie is justified for wanting to flip him off in the show. Higgins has a ton of favoritism toward the kids from well off influential families, like jocks and preppy students, and always takes their side even when Eddie (and friends) are the ones bruised and beaten. He's a Bible thumper and hates Hellfire and also hates Eddie because he's a Munson, considers him a rotten apple that poisons the bunch. He wants Eddie to drop out to rid the school of the Hellfire club. After the brawl between the jocks and Hellfire, Higgins convinces Eddie that it's his fault his friends are considered freaks and get bullied. He blackmails Eddie into dropping out by threatening to jeopardize Ronnie's scholarship to NYU. Eddie eventually comes to his senses and finds his fire again when everything falls through. He gets re-enrolled in school and turns things around by blackmailing Higgins. At this point, he knows Higgins buys drugs from Reefer Rick, and uses that information to force Higgins to let Hellfire continue and leave him and his friends alone.

- Officer Moore: A Hawkins cop who has it out for Eddie. He's described as having a blond buzz cut, a square jaw, Superman level All-American looks. He has a growing mid-forties beer gut. He pulls Eddie and Ronnie over in Eddie's van, Eddie sasses the shit out of him since apparently he pulls Eddie over a lot trying to find reasons to arrest him, just because he's a Munson. But he has to let them go.

- CJ and Toby: These are two goons that worked with Al under the same boss, Charlie Greene, one of the biggest drug kingpins in Oregon. They are transporting the truck with the drugs that Al enlists Eddie to help him rob. Eddie and Al successfully rob the truck, but CJ and Toby show up to their house days later. While holding Eddie and Al at gunpoint looking for the drugs, It's revealed that Al didn't owe money because he borrowed it, he stole it because he got greedy. Eddie was under the impression that he was saving his dad from enforcers that would come to collect the debt eventually, not helping him steal more from them. Al wasn't in prison like he told Eddie, he was living large as Charlie Greene's right hand man, never sending Eddie a dime. At this point, Eddie and Al have already sold the stolen drugs to Reefer Rick, so Al turns over the 15 grand of money to CJ and Toby. They think it's settled, but CJ decides to set the house on fire too, since Al embarrassed them with the boss. The only reason they don't kill Eddie and Al is because Officer Moore shows up, having been following Eddie. Instead, CJ shoots Officer Moore in the leg and then he and Toby flee. Eddie immediately goes to help the officer (despite hating Moore) while Al is telling Eddie to come on so they can run. Eddie feels like its their fault Moore was shot and won't leave him, Al says he didn't realize Eddie was this much of a fool. Eddie tries to get him to stay because he needs him, but Al leaves him anyway and Eddie is devastated and numb. He's arrested when cops show up.

- Jim Hopper: Hopper brings Eddie a cup of water and talks to him while he's in lockup for the night. He calls Eddie "Junior" but Eddie's too numb at that point to care. He says they know that Eddie tried to help Moore, but he's being held for arson because of the house, until he makes bail. Hopper is really trying to give Eddie a break, knowing he helped Moore, and talks a bit about Eddie's dad. He says something cryptic about knowing Al in school and how every time something went down, Al was usually at the center. Hopper does Eddie a favor and lets him use the phone in his office, where Eddie calls Paige. Hours later, Hopper tells him he made bail and that Wayne is there to get him.

- Chrissy Cunningham: Eddie remembers Chrissy from the talent show. Eddie's dad was supposed to be there, but didn't show up, meanwhile Chrissy is disappointed that her mom did show up. A lot like the show, it's minimal but Chrissy is sweet with troubled undertones. Eddie's surprised she even talks to him, but she's nice and says she'd cheer for him if his dad didn't show. Fast forward to high school, when the jocks are giving Eddie flack, Chrissy tries to get them to stop. Then they try to lie to the principal and say Eddie was bothering Chrissy. Chrissy says it's a lie but Jason quickly silences her.

- Bev: The owner of the Hideout bar. She's a very no nonsense drill sergeant kind of lady. She keeps Eddie humble, calls him Junior despite him asking her not to, always tells him to get a haircut and doesn't like his band at all, though she lets them play there as part of the exchange for Eddie working there. The stage is just some rickety wood that her late husband built. It's implied she had something to do with his death. She's strict and doesn't give anything out for free, only Al is able to charm her out of a free pitcher of beer when he's celebrating Eddie (temporarily) dropping out of school, which stuns Eddie. When Eddie quits the job chasing his California dream, she admits she'll miss their band and that's that.

- Janice: Principal Higgins secretary who equally hates Eddie and favors jocks and preppy students. She wears coke bottle glasses that magnify her eyes and has a fanatical obsession with purple.

- Stan: A junior member of Hellfire who had to sneak around his parents to go to meetings by pretending to be at algebra tutoring, as they consider D&D to be Satanic. When his parents find out, they write a letter to the school, condemning Hellfire club and saying they sent Stan to a church program to cleanse him. Higgins shows Eddie this letter to make him feel guilty and responsible.

-Nicole Summers and Cass Finnigan: These girlies are mentioned in one sentence but I don't know where else to put this info. Eddie implies these are the two other hookups he had before Paige, once in grade ten and once senior year, saying that he could tell they were only doing it for the dare of getting with the freak. Though, he wasn't looking to be anybody's boyfriend. He compares them to Paige, who he feels like genuinely likes him

- Steve Harrington: He doesn't actually appear in the book but his balls get a mention so he's going on the list. The only thing to note is that Steve doesn't approve of any freshman getting beat up, to the point where the jocks do it behind his back and Jason Carver is worried about him finding out. Tommy says Steve doesn't have any balls since dating Nancy Wheeler. Eddie defends Steve's balls, saying Tommy can't talk about someone else having no balls when he gets his kicks beating up freshman.

- Will and Jonathan Byers: At the end of the book, in a record shop, Will and Jonathan walk in. Eddie recognizes Will from his missing posters and recalls the events where Will had a funeral yet somehow was found alive. Jonathan goes to the back for a certain record, and while Will is alone, Eddie watches as a few younger jocks come into the store and start hounding him, calling him zombie boy. Eddie takes up for him, goads the jocks and gets them to take it out on him, takes a baseball to the chest and they leave. Eddie tells Will that Zombie Boy is metal as shit and Jonathan thanks Eddie when he comes back. Eddie offers Jonathan weed and says Jonathan is way too offended by the question for someone with his haircut. This whole interaction solidifies Eddie's new sense of purpose, collecting and protecting sheep.

- Granny Ecker: Ronnie's grandmother. She's not a big part of the story at all but she lives in the trailer park too. She's a wooden spoon wielding grandma character. Eddie calls her Granny too and she worries about Wayne and makes Eddie bring him casseroles and stuff. it's just cute so I'm including it.

[hibiscuslovecandles]

✧˖°DIGITAL GIRL✧˖°|BSD X DDLC

Genre:Fluff,crack,AU,GN!Reader,Angst?

Warnings: Suicide,Murder,Yandere,Might be ooc this was one of the first fics i wrote, not proofread, Let me know if there's any warning I missed!

Note:I don't usually write like at all so just letting you know to not expect more of this from my account I'm just trying to get this out my notes app man give me a break it's been there too long

🐅The childhood best friend

🐅Atsushi was the cute boy who lived in the orphanage a few blocks down that you’d occasionally see through the orphanage gates .

🐅You'd usually see him when your parents would send you to the convenient store for sweets or when you were walking to a friend's house.

🐅He always looked….So tired,Like he was just dragging himself around,You didn't understand why.

🐅Your parents were walking with you one time and saw him in the courtyard of the orphanage and immediately tensed at the sight of him and started speed walking out of discomfort due to his….worrying appearance.

🐅Your first ever interaction with Atsushi was when your parents gave you money for candy and when you were on your home you stopped infront of the gate when you saw Atsushi.

🐅You got closer to the gate an called out to him: “Psssst” while waving him over to you,He limped his over to you and once he was close enough you put your arm through the gate bars and dropped a piece of candy in his hands.

🐅And that's how the friendship between you and Atsushi started!Whenever you'd see him you'd call him over and just chat with him and depending if your parents gave you enough money or not you'd get him his own candy instead of a piece of yours.

🐅As a kid you never really understood why the candy meant so much to him,Didn't the orphanage give him treats?What's so special about what you're doing?

🐅He’d always panic a little when you'd give him his own candy and immediately shove it into his mouth and let out a hushed “Thank you”

🐅You were eight. You didn't understand why he stopped showing up to the gate when you told him to ask the orphanage director if he could come out to play with you.Did he get adopted?Was he was actually grounded forever?Did he get mad at you?

🐅You never found out why.Two months into not seeing your friend Atsushi your parents broke the news that you'd be moving a good 13 hours away.Your dad had lost his job and your mom's job didn't make enough to support all of you so your parents were going to move in with your grandparents.

🐅You cried for hours when you found out you were gonna be leaving home and leaving all your friends behind.Your teacher and classmates held a goodbye party for you,Your neighborhood friends said bye,Atsushi didn't say goodbye. You waited outside the gate the day before the move to tell him but he never showed up.

🐅You moved in with your grandparents and were upset with moving for like two weeks but just like kids do you quickly got over it and moved on when you became interested in something else.Occasionally looking back at 9 years ago and all your memories of Atsushi you realize how…malnourished he looked…no wonder he was grateful for the candy you'd give him…

🐅18 years old and your parents break the news that their moving back to your childhood neighborhood…WHAT!?IT WAS OKAY TO MOVE WHEN YOU WERE EIGHT SINCE YOU WERE YOUNG AND DIDN'T HAVE THAT SOLID OF RELATIONSHIPS BUT NOW?YOUR LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL?FUCKING BULLSHIT.

🐅Moving back was a struggle,You were away from your actual friends and you had to resettle down,You weren't really social and just wanted to get through this school year so you can move back and be with your actual friends.

🐅Until you saw a very familiar boy on the train to school…It was Atsushi the skinny orphan.

🐅When you both got off the train you both thought you'd walk in different directions and never see eachother again.WRONG!You both go to the same school so you both walked in the same direction.There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you the entire walk to school.Luckily the two of you had different homerooms and wouldn't need to see eachother….until school ended.

🐅You walked out of school and was texting your mom on your phone letting her know how school went when a hand grabs your bag to stop you.

🐅It was Atsushi!He wanted to catch up after school at the park,Out of intrigue(And also because you just moved therefore have nothing else better to do) you agreed.

🐅Whem the two of you met up at the park you caught up on eachothers lives,You found out why he never showed up at the gate again…..No food,No lights,No water,No interaction,for weeks until he understood he was forbidden to see you again….You were disturbed by this. You told him how before you moved you waited outside to tell him and he began profusely apologizing for not showing up and you had to explain to him how its not his fault.

🐅The two of you went to a store near the park together and got yourselves a sweet treat.

🐅After this it became routine for the two of you to go to the park after school to just hang out and at the end of your hangout to get something sugary to eat. It was nice to eat with him and talk with him not through a gate.

🐅There were times where Atsushi would spend the night at your house,Usually after he had a panic attack,so he could calm down since your presence soothes him.He’ll just lay in your bed with you crying until he slowly mellows out and falls asleep with you.Your parents have gotten used to his presence at the house though they do feel guilty for having misjudged him when he was younger.He really is a nice boy!

🐅It was one of those nights and you woke up on time ready for school instead of waking him up you decided to just let him sleep in your bed so you could do your morning routine.He was still asleep by the time you were finished…..Oh well!And off to school you headed off!

🐅You were about ten blocks in before you heard the sound of shoes slapping against pavement behind you and immediately knew who it was.Atsushi trying to catch up to you with one shoe untied,only his left arm in his uniform jacket,and a orange in his right hand that was on your kitchen counter. You stopped walking to watch him pull himself together as he babbled about some literature club he wanted you to join.

🐅He was trying to convince you to join,despite your reluctance due to your lack of interest in writing, all the way to the train station until he mentioned there would be cupcakes and tea!Hell yeah you're coming!

🐅He waited for you outside your classroom so you both could walk to club together!On your way to club you found out he's the vice president of the club no wonder he wanted you to join -.- 🐅He introduced you to the other club members: The….eccentric Dazai,The calm Chuuya,and the charismatic club president Fyodor

🐅Writing poems with them is interesting enough.Atsushi really likes writing poems about food it seems haha!

🐅….Tf you mean the school festival is coming up soon and we gotta get ready for that🧍🏽‍♂️

🐅Sorry Atsushi that I can't go home with you and hang out with at park and eat!I have to make sure Dazai doesn't kill himself after school!Maybe next time….You say for fourth time this week

🐅After taking care of some business for the school festival you're finally on your way home!It's pretty damn dark out,The street lights are on and everything,You check your phone and see it's 8:30…You aren't gonna get any homework done.

🐅You turn around when you feel a hand on your shoulder, it's Atsushi,He ends up walking you home.

🐅On your way home the two of you discussed you helping the others for the festival,During this entire conversation his eyes were…glassy like he wanted to cry,then suddenly he started apologizing profusely while crying into the crook of your neck with his hands gripping the sleeves of your uniform where he confessed that it hurts him how selfish his love for you is…

🐅You both went your separate ways.

🐅“Good morning-……Atsushi?”

🦀The boy in homeroom

🦀First day of senior year in a new school yay…Atleast he kept you entertained enough.

🦀When you walked into your homeroom class for the first time your main objective was: SURVIVE. Sure you saw a few people from your elementary school you could talk to but its been a good 10 years so they probably forgot your existence, created way stronger friendships, and created solid dynamics with eachother so what was the point on socializing with them?That's the reason why you didn't interact with Atsushi on the way to school.The goal is to graduate and immediately move back to your grandparents where your real friends are so its best to just sit all the way in the back of the class and hope you're still able to read from the board.

🦀Unfortunately you ended up sitting behind a complete weirdo. The moment you sat down behind his head immediately turned to look at you,Lept from his seat,On one knee askung you out.

🦀And based on your classmates reactions of: Looking at you and the weirdo wrapped in bandages for 3 seconds then going back to what they were doing and completely not acknowledging what he just did you can assume this is a regular occurrence.

🦀This’ll be fun.

🦀When the first period teacher walked in he immediately asked Dazai to stop his behavior towards you and just rubbed his face with his hands with a mumble of how he hates his job. Thats how you found out the boy's name was Dazai.

🦀The teacher got the class seated and had you introduce yourself properly and gave you a heads up that he has expectations for you that you will meet when you take his class.

🦀It was kinda hard to pay attention to what he was saying when this Dazai kid is literally snoring loudly in the middle of class and noone seems to care.

🦀When class actually began he immediately woke up then kept leaning back in his seat,his head was completely in the way,It's too late to move seats now so I guess you're just not gonna get any work done on the first day.

🦀Everytime he'd lean back he'd either be completely disinterested in you or he'd be pestering you to speak to him!The mixed messages he was giving you were crazy.

🦀At some point he leaned so far back in his seat that he hit the back of his head on your desk and flopped over on the ground causing the entire class to look at you to,Some laughing,Some just staring,the teacher rushed over and scolded Dazai for his antics.

🦀Which led to you,by the teachers orders,having to drag Dazai to the nurses office with his arm slug over your shoulder and your arm resting on his shoulder to make sure his head didn't bust open all over the floor.

🦀You seriously doubted if he was actually hurt since he kept mumbling to you about philosophy or something,You don't know probably some weird kid school threat stuff,hell he even made full eye contact with you during the walk to the infirmary you expecting him to say “Don't come to school tomorrow” but instead “You're an alright person.Keep being a okay person..”….Not sure what that means but you dropped him off with the nurse because you had no time for this edgy bullshit.

🦀After that you quickly got used to Dazai's off-putting antics just like the rest of the class and the teachers.Turns out him asking to go out with you wasn't anything special apparently he's asked every girl in your homeroom that question atleast once.Damn can't even have a y/n moment.

🦀You learned more about the freak sitting infront of you during class when he'd chat at you instead of doing his work. You know he likes crab and alcohol and that he's most definitely suicidal but you immediately knew that one when he saw him wrapped up like a mummy…..and anything else about him is a mystery.

🦀You did try pressing him for more on his life but he'd just smile at you and try and have you guess.Goodluck asking other classmates cause they tried the same thing….Meh that strange guy probably kills dogs on his free time so it'd probably the best if you just go with the flow and don't try to dig too much into him.

🦀Hell you've even started playing along with his antics more amused at this point than concerned like you were at first.Are you still worries for him?Yes but it'll save you tears if you pick to go along with his weird shit instead of question it.

🦀You even sit next to him during lunch,Less out of will and more out of “I don't wanna look like some unsocial loser” so why not sit next to the weird kid.Atleast he knows how to keep a conversation interesting.

🦀Everyday he'll ask you if you brought your notes in and when you give him your notes he'll tell you got things wrong. So you do pay attention or not?He's totally not taking it as an excuse to talk to you or anything.

🦀When Dazai is actually paying attention to what's happening in class you like to throw stuff like paper and erases at the back of his head to annoy him.The dreadful looking boy would always throw them back at you or start leaning back in his seat again to block your vision of the board.Hes your homeroom pal who you annoy in homeroom and homeroom only. You don't really go out of your way to hangout outside of homeroom. Homeroom is enough Dazai for you.

🦀But life decided you needed more Dazai in your life. BY INTRODUCING YOU TO SOMETHING CALLED A LITERATURE CLUB.

🦀When Atsushi introduced you to everyone in the club you avoided eye contact with that weirdo and pretended to not know him,Dazai seemed more amused than anything and ran with it…not really he VERY dramatically greeted you and said he totally hasn't met you before.

🦀He brought tea for everyone!You didn't realize he could do something without messing it up :0

🦀Though the ginger haired,Chuuya,didn't seem too pleased with the tea.He kept glaring at Dazai. Best not think too much into it.

🦀Dazai didn't seem to mind Chuuya glaring at him.He even poked fun at guy who most definitely wanted him in the ground!

🦀God hes weird.

🦀Aaaaand the two are arguing over poetry.What kinda nerd yells about poetry.

🦀They had you compare their poetry to eachother. Chuuya's poem is very cynical and depressing and full of metaphors there's a sense of loss that his poem emits. Dazai's poem comes off as very casual,like talking to a friend you haven't see in awhile about how life has been treating the two of you,but when you read inbetween the lines there's something off about the poem like the poem itself has something to hide. Comparing two edgelords. Great. Luckily it was quickly resolved.

🦀When it came to reading your poems in front of eachother you frankly felt illiterate compared to the rest of them. Atsushi would always reassure you that your writing was amazing,which you appreciated compared to Dazai who would rest his elbow on top of your head and talk about the parts you needed to work on,Thank you Atsushi Fuck you D(ickhead)azi.

🦀Back in homeroom and you've recently been making some small friendships with your classmates,From this you learned more about Dazai,turns out noone is really friends with the guy they'd more describe themselves as “Good acquaintances” with Dazai,They'll talk to Dazai during lunch and have a fun conversation with him but other than that they don't really know anything about him. Some described him as a man whore, Some saw him as a weirdo, and others thought he's just some guy. All three seem like a accurate character profile to you.

🦀You brought tea to the club meeting and everyone liked the tea you prepared!Dazai just began fawning over you and proposed that the two of you go down together like Romeo and Juliet…It's just tea bro calm down its not that serious but hey it's cute or whatever so you roll with his dramatic ass and feed into it.

🦀He casually stands behind you while you're busy trying to write a poem he’ll have one arm resting on the table so that the back of your head is practically against his chest as he critiques the words you use.

🦀….A school festival is happening and we need to prepare?Damn you Atsushi🤠

🦀Well I might as well work with Atsushi-Hm?Annnd Dazai is whining WAIT PUT THAT DOWN DAZAI!

🦀Sorry Atsushi that I can't go home with you and hang out with at park and eat!I have to make sure Dazai doesn't kill himself after school!Maybe next time….You say for fourth time this week

🦀During those days you'd spend with Dazai it was actually kinda fun!Did you get much work done?Eehh but you both to eat crab on the pier with your feet ankle deep in the ocean as you two sit there and watch the sunset while laughing about shit that won't matter later. You don't know anything about him but you're content.

🦀You actually got him on task so that the two of you could actually focus on the actual objective. Banner making.

🦀Making a banner for the literature with Dazai in his crumby apartment was an experience. The two of you set the blank banner paper on the living room floor and he just went wild flinging paint everywhere!You,worried,asked him if his parents would get mad at the mess…There was a moment of silence between the two of you before he replied that his parents are always at work so they won't mind in a nonchalant tone. You felt like you shouldn't push further.

🦀Dazai insisted on making something attention gaining but you had to explain that eye catching and people giving your banner stares for being a bit too creative aren't exactly the same

🦀So the two of you had to make a eye catching but not eye buring banner and you two somehow managed to do it?

🦀A light yellow background with yellow polka dots and the words written in cute pastel colors.

🦀It wasn't the vision Dazai had in mind but believe it or not throwing paint on a banner and writing literature club in sharpie isn't exactly cute.

🦀The two of you had to clean up after painting Dazai walked into his kitchen that was eerily empty to wash his hands in the sink. The soap helped the water to remove the paint off his hands,It also helped to get the paint off your hands when you wrapped your arms around his waist to reach the sink to clean your gunky hands,Dazai stiffens for a second only for a second before you could even notice. He smiled at the way your body presses against his back.

🦀After finishing the banner for the school festival you're finally on your way home!It's pretty damn dark out,The street lights are on and everything,You check your phone and see it's 8:30…You aren't gonna get any homework done.

🦀G̶̨̩̗͎̅̿̆̄̒͗̈̿̽̆͂o̴̬̪͈̯̳̥̩̹͊͗̕o̸͙̝͍̤͚̝̗͚͂̒͝d̷̨͚͓̫̱̲̙̹̩̜̤̄ ̶̛̹͚͖̱͚̯͈̂̏̐̊́̔͌͐̓̊̒̋͛̚m̸͚̞͎̥̳̑̉̑̈́̈́̓̔͝ǫ̶̖̤̹͙͕̥̩̰̮͎͇̹͎̺̓͂̀̌̈́̑̄̇͛̽͆̍͂̚͠r̸̩̫̗̘̽͐̈́̾͛͐͊͊̓̿̍̓͛̑n̸̺̲͔̰̯̖̓i̸͎̭̔̆̅̋n̴̟̲̪̞̫̭̬͍̥̲̼̯̔̔͗̓̔g̶̠͔̝͙̦̩̮̓͑͌͆́͂̐͊̈́̈́͌̚͝͝-̷̹͇̯̲͚̱͎̞̊̀…̸̢̱͙̤̲̫̗͙̮̯̰̔̾…̷̢͚͔̼͍͎̜̙̖̮̣̪̠̿Ą̴͉̪̯̺̯̘̜͛̚ͅt̵̬̘͇̖̠͍̏́͐͛̊̒̅̈́̑͗͘͜͠͝͠s̷̡̢̺̫̤̲̥̻̙͙̀̏̏̍̓̈́̔̉͛̐̚͘͠ͅͅu̵̢͔͉̱̗̳̙̺͕͉͚̮͛͗̋̆̍s̶̡͉̜̰̦̠̳̳͒̿̐̒̅͑̂͊͒̓͋͘ͅͅh̷̢͓̺͇͖͍̜̐̈͛̈́̓̀͗͑̀̏̂̽́́͜i̷̡̧̬̼͓͈͙̰̖̣͑͌̋̉̓̓̎̀̕͜͜?̵̢̼̮̩͖̥̂͌̄̀͂̓͗̃̂̈́̀̈”̵̢̼͔̗͎̺͙̭͙͕̞̓̈̅̃͆͐̏̉͗̅̕͜

🦀Your train ride to school went as expected,pretty boring,you don't have anyone to walk to school with since you aren't exactly someone with alot of friends you just kinda read manga and stay at home. You just hope nobody tries to get too friendly with you at 8am.

🦀You spilled your way into homeroom,make your way to the back of the class,and sat behind some brunette kid wrapped bandages.

🦀He didn't acknowledge you while you were walking to the desk behind him but now that you are situated in the seat behind him he looks over at you eyes wide,You raise a brow at him before he quickly whips his head back around,Freaky.

🦀You learn from some of the girls in your homeroom who watched it go down that his name is Dazai and that it was strange that he just stared at you and didn't immediately ask you out….Wait what-

🦀This becomes casual for you eventually. It's still weird that this kid you don't care about stares at you randomly but after awhile he actually began conversing with you. He was a….interesting guy to say the least. The first thing he said when he actually began speaking to you was to go out with him…Great now you owe Yosano 20$ for her guessing right. Noone seems to know anything about the guy and noone seems to want to find out…You're one of those people. Don't really wanna know what someone as suicidal as Dazai's upbringing was like.

🦀Despite him being a pretty chill person he would just get randomly deep and edgy,It made you a bit put off by him and you kinda avoided him but Dazai being Dazai just proceeded to suffocate you with his presence more and more

🦀During lunch he always moves to the seat to your left and moves it so it's right up against yours and sit there. Watching you eat,stealing parts of your lunch,laugh and whine when you scold him for stealing your shit,showing you his book about how to commit suicide and suggest suicide methods for the two of you.

🦀Hes fucking crazy.

🦀Whenever the teacher has an assignment that REQUIRES you to work with someone Dazai's eyes sparkle as he whips his head towards you. You immediately turn to the person on your left or practically BEG the teacher to let you work by yourself not wanting to work with this guy and spend anymore time with him than needed.

🦀You start being completely alone in your homeroom. Everyone seems to avoid you or ignore you all of them except Dazai but you don't exactly want him to pay attention to you.

🦀You still talk to him but it's more out of desperation than genuinely wanting to socialize with this crazy ass since nobody else seems to want to interact with you. Fakeass bitches.

🦀It's like luck is on Dazai's side and never yours because during gym class and you have to pick teams you always end up on Dazai's team. It didn't matter what was happening in gym class Dazai was always a few steps away from you. Baseball?He's sitting next to you on the bench. A free day?He's already waiting at your spot on the bleachers.

🦀You talked to gym teacher Sakunosuke about this but he couldn't really do anything about your classmates putting you two on the same teams but whenever he's setting up teams he puts you and Dazai on other teams,whenever Dazai is following you he'll send him to do something else,so Sakunosuke does help whenever he can.

🦀Whenever your taking notes in class and trying to get your education can you guess who's sitting in reverse in his seat and playing with your hair instead? Osamu Dazai that's who!

🦀You’ve texted your friends about his behavior and they also think he's got a few screws loose in the head and best believe you told you're parents and they think he's peculiar.

🦀Thank God you only see him during homeroom.

🦀During school clean up you sat on some stairsteps in a unpopular part of the school reading some manga when a sudden pair of shoes echoed through the halls,You jolted up and grabbed the sponge out of the bucket water and pretend to have been cleaning the entire time,then the walking stopped.

🦀You look up to see a man with neck length black hair with dark purple eyes looking down at you with a kind smile in a all white school uniform. Fyodor is his name and he wants you to join his literature club!Initially hesitant you give in after he explains that his club needs more members to stay open so you decide to attend the club after-school since it's not like you have anything else to do.

🦀Once club hours started you followed Fyodor to the literature club and see Dazai and some ginger guy in there. Great more Dazai.

🦀You walk into the room and it feels like someone is missing….Meh just ignore it!

🦀Speaking of ignoring you completely pretend he doesn't exist but that doesn't stop him from draping himself on top of you using all his bodyweight while whining about how cruel you are for ignoring him even though you keep telling the other two you've never seen this man in your life before.

🦀You wrote you're immature poem and read it out loud all of them praised your hard work but you cant but feel it was pity praise because DAMN they can write poetry maybe literature club shouldn't be your thing buddy.

🦀Dazai and Chuuya are getting into a pretty heated arugment over poetry.What kinda nerd yells about poetry?

🦀Fyodor ushered you out of the classroom and he tells you to wait in the hallway before he walks back into the classroom. After a while Fyodor opens the door and gestures for you to come inside then suddenly Chuuya storms out the class with blood dripping down his chin…these two really threw hands over poetry….Best not to poke at Chuuya unless you want to slapped.

🦀You walk back into the classroom and there's a lingering tension from Dazai even after Chuuya left. You tried asking Dazai how did it escalate to actual physical violence but he keeps dancing around answering.

🦀Fyodor puts a firm hand on Dazai's shoulder and reassures him that Chuuya will forget about it tomorrow.

🦀Chuuya really did forget like Fyodor said!You tried to ask him about his fight with Dazai and he doesn't even remember there being a fight!….Weird

🦀Dazai grabs your arm almost immediately after your conversation with Chuuya finished and begged asked you to read with him,You reluctantly agreed to read his suicide book with him. There was one particular method that he seemed really enthusiastic to try with you,he was just babbling about how beautiful your guy's death would be and how people would write and base stories off of your oh so romantic double suicide for centuries,When he caught a glimpse of your oh so disturbed expresion he stood up with a smile and walked to the hallway saying he needed water.

🦀After he gets back he immediately hands you a poem that's pretty vague and full of weird unexplained concepts. Freaky but better than anything you could make.

🦀Third day and you decide to proof read poems with Chuuya,His poem oddly intimidates you with how fancy and professional it feels, You look up and he wasn't even reading your poem at all!He was just staring at you!Before you could call him out he slips you a folded piece of paper. You open the paper and it flat out tells you to avoid Dazai…You look up from the piece of paper and Chuuya….has no face tells you to ignore the piece of paper he gave you and tells you to spend time with Fyodor…

🦀You tried to talk to Fyodor about it but insists that you spending time with Dazai only enables his behavior and that you should just stick with him.

🦀When you read your poem out loud to the club they compliment your work Dazai is the only one who asks you if he can take yours home with him and if you want to read his poem to yourself.

🦀You take his poem and read it…You swear that's blood and…other bodily fluids on it...

🦀When you finish reading he's all up in your face asking if you liked it and explains its about a man and his mistress tying themselves together and drowning together and that he put his smell on the poem. He runs off saying he has to vomit before you can even properly understand what he just said.

🦀A argument started between the 3 men about who you should prepare for the festival with. You end up picking Fyodor so far he's the only sane person in this damn hell literature club.

🦀Dazai goes quiet before he locks Fyodor and Chuuya out of the classroom leaving you two alone.

🦀He confesses his love to you and apologies for his behavior and that he just didn't know how to process his feelings for you and him being annoying was how he dealt with them.

🦀“OH GOD OH FUCK DAZAI STOP PLEASE”

🍷The hallway crush

🍷You'd always see him at his shoe cupboard in the morning, you never knew the name of the short copper hair beauty but he was a pretty sight that's for sure, and to be honest the less you know about him the better.

🍷You'd sometimes walk near him on the way to class though his classroom was on the third floor and yours was on the first floor so you'd just walk in the same general direction before he went up the stairs.

🍷He never really acknowledged you maybe it was because he genuinely didn't notice you, maybe because he had friends that he'd be talking to on the way to class, it could be really be whatever reason but it doesn't really matter

🍷You learned the guys name during lunch through Dazai. Chuuya Nakahara. He said Chuuya suffered from a Napoleon complex…that couldn't possibly be true.

🍷He must be pretty fast because despite you being on the first floor and him being on the third floor he'd always be out the school before you so you'd always end up looking at his back as he walked off of school property and hop into a sleek black car and be driven off. Damn he must be rich.

🍷Everyone knew little to nothing about him,He was a new student too but unlike you who actually opened up to some people so people knew shit but nobody even knows where he came from or what school he attended before coming here or even his childhood town.

🍷You tried to ask Atsushi about him but he was just as oblivious to the guy as you were hell he didn't even know who you were talking about until when you two were walking home together you pointed at him.

🍷He was a popular hallway crush alot of the girls in your class said he was their hallway crush so you weren't the only person who saw the appeal in him and his grey eyes.

🍷So imagine your reaction when during a school assembly in the gym Dazai's description of Napoleon complex was right. You were a good four rows behind him so you dont know what lead up to this but he just got up and decked the guy nexted to him in the face!The fight that happened between the two of them was terrible but Dazai who was next to you had the same reaction as you. A smile. Chuuya looked even prettier when he was beating the fuck out of some guy. If he survives this fight you might actually ask him out it'd be nice to date someone who is so fearless and strong but sadly the teachers had to break up the fight before it could get really bloody(as if Chuuya's knuckles weren't covered in the other guys blood)

🍷Maybe you two could fight together.

🍷When everyone went back to class they were talking about the fight that happened and we're already spreading rumors as to why it started but you still had heart eyes for Chuuya and were still enamored by his actions meanwhile Dazai seemed annoyed your love dazed state and poked fun at you for it as a way to get you to forget about Chuuya and to focus on him instead….and it worked you immediately tried to defend yourself as to why you were crushing so hard on Chuuya despite knowing jackshit about him causing Dazai to smirk to see your heart eyes gone and on him.

🍷You thought it was strange how the next day after the fight,despite the teachers seeing that Chuuya threw the first punch and there having been blood spilled, he was still here wasn't suspended or anything meanwhile the guy he punched in the face is nowhere to be seen. Did he bribe the school or something?

🍷You ignored the obvious blaring red flag as you watched him from the corner of your eye not wanting to bother him as he is swarmed by his friends and classmates who were asking him about the fight and you didn't want to become apart of the mini crowd happening around him,You just felt so drawn to him yet it was like there was never a good opportunity to interact with him.

🍷After that it was almost like everyday he'd open his shoe cupboard and a brand new love letter would be inside,He'd never react when seeing these letters they'd just end up getting shoved into his bag while his friends hyped him up in the background,You never put one inside his shoe cupboard because of this.

🍷Even though some of the girls in your class encouraged you to do it you decided not to,Not only because you don't know the guy that well but also Dazai said that Chuuya would reject you either way. Thanks.

🍷Your eyes are locked onto Chuuya's back as you and Atsushi leave school together,Not hearing anything Atsushi is saying just being hypnotized by the way his red hair blew in the wind and the perfect way the sun's rays hit him…then he got into his car.

🍷This guy you don't know has got your heart in a fucking swirl.

🍷One of the girls from your class sent his Instagram account into the groupchat!Creepy but you checked out his Instagram so you aren't really better than em. His Instagram didn't have much on there besides a few photos of food and wine. Dammit. Not even a beach photo with him shirtless?Really?

🍷You tried to push Yosano for any information about him since she's apart of the Armed Student Council….Turns out she doesn't know much about him either she recommended that you ask Principal Fukuzawa or Vice principal Kunikida but that just feels obsessive for a simple hallway crush. She even recommended you just talk to him!What does she think you are!?Normal?

🍷Asking Dazai….was a waste of time he just teased you for asking him and when he finally heard your annoyed pleas for him to stop he just listed a bunch of negative stuff about Chuuya saying he had anger issues, he was a prick,and saying Chuuya was a alcoholic(despite Dazai being a alcoholic but whatever.)

🍷…Atsushi what are you a nerd?What is a literature club?I don't think I've ever raised a pen.

🍷You mainly agreed to go with him for the cupcakes and tea but you also decided to attend with him for his happiness,He seems really passionate about this whole literature thing and you wanna support your friend.

🍷When you arrived at the club room with him he introduced you to the club members and yes Dazai was being dramatic about not knowing who you are one knee on the ground and everything, and that definitely should've caught your attention, but your eyes kept darting to Chuuya who was sitting at a desk reading only raising his head when Atsushi announced you as the newest member .

🍷Chuuya is here?Maybe a literature club isn't COMPLETELY nerdy .

🍷You mainly clung to Atsushi’s side during this club meeting since he was the only person you'd say you knew but you kept sneaking a glance at Chuuya nearly everytime you went to take sip of tea that Dazai generously provided for all of you. Chuuya didn't really seem to notice the way your pupils would dilate whenever you'd lay your sights on him…mostly because he was busy glaring Dazai down despite Dazai minding his business…Probably just some untold beef that happened you're unaware of and shouldn't stick your nose is.

🍷The day after this first club meeting Chuuya gave you a little nod of acknowledgement at the cupboard to show “Yeah I recognize you, Don't know you enough to say hello and wave, but it'd be rude to not acknowledge you so I'm just gonna do the bare minimum”

🍷Some of the girls in your class saw this exchange and bombarded you with questions about Chuuya but luckily Dazai and Yosano managed to push back the crowd of girls that was circling you.

🍷Though Yosano and Dazai did tease you for it. Thanks guys😒

🍷Due to your stupid little crush on this guy you ended up writing a poem around him unaware that you'd have to read it outloud to the rest of the club. Stupid teenage puppy love bullshit.

🍷You sat with Chuuya by the closet in the club room reading manga and you ended up learning something about him! Turns out he reads manga occasionally when he's bored!Nice to see he has some form of interests.

🍷When you read your poem out to the club everyone seemed to know who the poem was centered around and made comments hinting that “Yeah.We know.” meanwhile the guy the poem was about had his arms crossed with his face aimed towards the ground along with his leg bouncing up and down with his only reply to the poem was saying it was alright… A win is a win.

🍷After your turn Dazai and Chuuya were next. Chuuya said Dazai's was just okay…and Dazai called Chuuya's edgy. Can't have shit in this literature club. They start arguing over poetry🤦🏽‍♂️

🍷You just keep glancing at Fyodor wanting him to step in or something while Chuuya accuses of Dazai just trying to impress you Dazai's reply is that Chuuya's just jealous that you like his poem more.

🍷You agree with Chuuya but groan at Chuuya being too proud and explains your reasoning to Dazai who seems chill with it .

🍷Chuuya actually waves to you the next day at the shoe cupboard…You could already feel your classmates eyes burning into the back of your head…..The classroom gossip is gonna be crazy.

🍷“Are you guys hooking up?” “Is this a secret romance between the two of you?” “Is this like a Romeo and Juliet situation and that's why you two are dating in secret?” “Obviously you guys are engaged in a arranged marriage right?” “Is he your sugar daddy or something?” “I don't think that's how sugar daddies work” “Haruno I love you but sssshhhh”

🍷This time Yosano and Dazai just watched in amusement while you were trying to answer all your classmates questions. What great friends you have.

🍷You gotta be kidding me. Fyodor put all the manga on the top shelf to “clean”….. fuck you dude you know my abilityless ass isnt reaching that shit you just wanna see me struggle. Luckily Chuuya's ability helped with this to get the box of manga down. You just lean against Chuuya's side when you two got the box down and he doesn't acknowledge it other than sliver of a smile creep onto his face at the physical contact .

🍷During this club meaning Dazai asked if you were mad at him for the last club meeting and a very awkward conversation between the two of you started…So awkward infact that you left Dazai alone so that the two of you couldn't even share poems….Extremely awkward that you hoped Dazai's suicide book would actually give him a good painless way to go.

🍷Atsushi seems…down today you tried to ask him about it during club knowing his past and all but he brushed you off. Since he didn't want to talk to you about it you had to make a choice Dazai doesn't seem uh…there to try and talk to Atsushi, Chuuya doesn't really seem to interact much with Atsushi so would it really feel okay to send him, Fyodor is the president of the literature club and Atsushi is the vice president so they must've interacted plenty before you joined plus he's level headed enough so Fyodor it is!

🍷Fyodor hasn't seen any change in Atsushi but he still goes and checks up on him which is sweet :)

🍷You went over to Chuuya since it has become a pretty normal thing for you to talk to him in club. You try to mention Atsushi with Chuuya but he seems almost ticked off by this through his eyes narrowing and folding his arms, To try and not have him get piss and punch the lights out of Atsushi like that guy at the assembly you explain the situation in more detail, luckily he chills out and let's you know that since Atsushi is your best friend (and not your love interest.) If he had a problem he'd talk to ya about it.

🍷Chuuya likes the poem you made!That's great! Hey Chuuya can I read yours- what do you mean it's shitty?

🍷After much convincing he finally tosses his poem at you and……it's about you…It's about longing that's sweet :)

🍷You tried to give it back but Chuuya turned his head away from you and waved his hand saying to just keep it

🍷Putting the poem in your pocket you go and try to talk to Dazai but he just kinda backs off of you…Hm that's weird he hasn't offered you a date yet.

🍷You try and go to talk to Atsushi after you see Fyodor leave his side, Atsushi clearly has something on his mind. He let's you know that he knows your poem wasn't about but FOR Chuuya then before you could push further he left with the excuse of needing to get some rest…

🍷……A-…..A festival?

🍷Fyodor almost immediately after Atsushi left mentions this festival now how he and Atsushi will be in charge of making pamphlets for the club, Dazai is making the banner(oh god…), and Chuuya is baking cupcakes

🍷“You bake?” “Shut up.” “No I find it cute actually.”

🍷Not wanting to be useless for once you pick to work with Chuuya despite him saying he can do it by himself Chuuya seems happy.

🍷Dazai gets really passive aggressive for no reason saying he was used to working alone and shit.

🍷Sorry Atsushi that I can't go home with you and hang out with at park and eat!I have to make sure Dazai doesn't kill himself after school!Maybe next time….You say for fourth time this week.

🍷After checking up on Dazai and making sure he wasn't dead….again. You headed over to the address Chuuya gave you and you end up infront a basic suburban house with a green tree in the yard. He isn't a rich boy? You notice that the black car Chuuya is drove in after school isn't parked maybe his parents are at work?

🍷When Chuuya let you in you noticed how… clean the place was, It felt more like a place you'd rent for the vacation than stay in long term kinda clean, you asked Chuuya about his parents and turns out his parents are always working!…..Then who picks him up in the balck car after school?Now that you think about it it's weird that theres no family photos up not even childhood drawings…

🍷Is-….Is this even his house-

🍷Pusing those thoughts to the back of your head Chuuya already has the ingredients for the cupcakes out and ready. He tosses you a grey apron and puts on a nice red apron and you can't help but stare as he ties his hair back into a small little ponytail and how his hands tie his apron around his waist, If Chuuya didn't think your staring was cute he would have let you know that he knows you're staring at him.

🍷You played your favorite playlist as the two of you were baking well more like Chuuya, He tried explaining what to do but you were busy bumping to the music from your phone and sure he was frustrated but he was also infatuated enough with you that MAYBE he'll let this slide.

🍷You did help obviously you aren't just trying to bounce around his house like some dickhead you of course helped with making the frosting.

🍷Once Chuuya put the cupcakes in the oven to bake and you put the bowl of icing to the side, you grabbed Chuuya's hand and encouraged him to dance along with the song playing but Chuuya kept saying no in a seemingly serious tone but soon he cracked into chuckling out no and instead he dipped one of his fingers into the icing the smeared it against your forehead….That's why your now chasing him around the kitchen island now-

🍷You somehow chased him into the living room and pushed him onto the couch getting a “what the hell” outta him and you should be saying the same thing because damn how'd you catch him💀

🍷He backed up on the couch the moment you landed on the other side damn near crushing his legs but before he could leap off the couch you managed to grab his wrist and lick the frosting off the finger he had icing on. His face was red and he was completely silent, he shifted his position on the couch and scooch over to you so that he's able to lick the icing he smudged on your forehead;

🍷After finishing baking and decorating the cupcakes for the school festival you're finally on your way home!It's pretty damn dark out,The street lights are on and everything,You check your phone and see it's 8:30…You aren't gonna get any homework done.

🍷G̶̨̩̗͎̅̿̆̄̒͗̈̿̽̆͂o̴̬̪͈̯̳̥̩̹͊͗̕o̸͙̝͍̤͚̝̗͚͂̒͝d̷̨͚͓̫̱̲̙̹̩̜̤̄ ̶̛̹͚͖̱͚̯͈̂̏̐̊́̔͌͐̓̊̒̋͛̚m̸͚̞͎̥̳̑̉̑̈́̈́̓̔͝ǫ̶̖̤̹͙͕̥̩̰̮͎͇̹͎̺̓͂̀̌̈́̑̄̇͛̽͆̍͂̚͠r̸̩̫̗̘̽͐̈́̾͛͐͊͊̓̿̍̓͛̑n̸̺̲͔̰̯̖̓i̸͎̭̔̆̅̋n̴̟̲̪̞̫̭̬͍̥̲̼̯̔̔͗̓̔g̶̠͔̝͙̦̩̮̓͑͌͆́͂̐͊̈́̈́͌̚͝͝-̷̹͇̯̲͚̱͎̞̊̀…̸̢̱͙̤̲̫̗͙̮̯̰̔̾…̷̢͚͔̼͍͎̜̙̖̮̣̪̠̿Ą̴͉̪̯̺̯̘̜͛̚ͅt̵̬̘͇̖̠͍̏́͐͛̊̒̅̈́̑͗͘͜͠͝͠s̷̡̢̺̫̤̲̥̻̙͙̀̏̏̍̓̈́̔̉͛̐̚͘͠ͅͅu̵̢͔͉̱̗̳̙̺͕͉͚̮͛͗̋̆̍s̶̡͉̜̰̦̠̳̳͒̿̐̒̅͑̂͊͒̓͋͘ͅͅh̷̢͓̺͇͖͍̜̐̈͛̈́̓̀͗͑̀̏̂̽́́͜i̷̡̧̬̼͓͈͙̰̖̣͑͌̋̉̓̓̎̀̕͜͜?̵̢̼̮̩͖̥̂͌̄̀͂̓͗̃̂̈́̀̈”̵̢̼͔̗͎̺͙̭͙͕̞̓̈̅̃͆͐̏̉͗̅̕͜

🍷Your train ride to school went as expected,pretty boring,you don't have anyone to walk to school with since you aren't exactly someone with alot of friends you just kinda read manga and stay at home. You just hope nobody tries to get too friendly with you at 8am.

🍷When you were putting your shoes away in your shoe cupboard a head of orange hair appeared in the corner of your eye you glanced over put you couldn't get a good look at the person's face due to them having their head down while taking off their shoes.

🍷The patter of loafers is all you hear until that same blotch of orange shows up in your peripheral vision walking to class. You look over at him and see his side profile….so pretty….The sound of shoes disappeared as time slowed down as you watch him head up the stairs to his class…

🍷So yeah best believe you texted your friends about him immediately when you got home, took them awhile to respond because of time zone but you wished you didn't tell them cause as friends do they clowned on you for this but hey you go I guess💀

🍷Next time you saw him at the shoe cupboard you managed to sneak a picture of him, not a good one but it was a picture, sending it to the groupchat was a mistake like not them agreeing and yall wanting to take him away from you🤨(Chuuya doesn't even know you exist)

🍷The mummy guy who sat infront of you during glass, Dazai, suddenly grabs your phone and plays keep away with it as he read the texts between you and your friends…He tossed your phone back to you and warned you that you should avoid Chuuya if you want to stay outta trouble and that he's a shady guy…but hes hot with a fancy black car :(

🍷Hell some of your classmates joined in and started taking pictures of him and showing you them in class/sending them just to tease you a bit

🍷 “This yo man🤨?” “……That's a whole ass leprechaun-”

🍷Even your parents started getting the idea when they went to your room to check if you were sleeping at like 11 just to see you under the covers on your phone texting your friends about this random guy who doesn't even know you exist with your legs kicking.

🍷Yosano entertained this crush of yours and hell she even said she'll try to use her position in the Armed Student Council to find out stuf about this guy for you!

🍷Dazai simply waved off your crush on Chuuya saying “It's just a puppy love you'll get over it in a week” and discouraged Yosano to not bother looking into him saying “It's just a little thing [NAME] will get over it in a week” Way to be supportive Dazai😐

🍷You can't help but feel stupid whenever you think about this guy and all the imagined scenarios in your head that put a goofy little smile on your face that just has your friends, classmates, and family poking fun….besides Dazai-

🍷He's just the kinda guy that has you giggling and screaming into your pillows while your parents are downstairs in the living room mildly concerned.

🍷If it was possible you'd have a wobbly smile with hearts in your eyes and heart beating out of your chest.

🍷Planning your wedding with him on a whole pinterest board like a giddy cartoon character with a crush.

🍷During school clean up you sat on some stairsteps in a unpopular part of the school reading some manga and your phone featuring the imaginary wedding inbetween the pages keeping the book open when a sudden pair of shoes echoed through the halls,You jolted up and grabbed the sponge out of the bucket water and pretend to have been cleaning the entire time,then the walking stopped.

🍷You look up to see a man with neck length black hair with dark purple eyes looking down at you with a kind smile in a all white school uniform. Fyodor is his name and he wants you to join his literature club!Initially hesitant you give in after he explains that his club needs more members to stay open so you decide to attend the club after-school since it's not like you have anything else to do.

🍷Once club hours started you followed Fyodor to the literature club and see Dazai and future hubby😍

🍷The club room was nice and cozy, it was warm and the sun coming in through the windows made the environment so calming, but the room feels empty…Sure you,Fyodor,Dazai,and Chuuya are all here and the room is full of desks yet you can't shake of the feeling that something is missing even though you've never been in this room before…

🍷Best let it not get to you!

🍷You wrote a amateur poem and read it out to your fellow club members with Chuuya giving you very reluctant compliments you can tell he's just being polite, Dazai being so over the top that you can't tell if hes making fun of you or not, and Fydor being so calm that you can't tell if he hates your poem. Note to self pay attention in writing class more.

🍷Dazai and Chuuya are getting into a pretty heated arugment over poetry.What kinda nerd yells about poetry?

🍷Fyodor ushered you out of the classroom and you he tells you wait in the hallway before he walks back into the classroom. After a while Fyodor opens the door and gestures for you to come inside then suddenly Chuuya storms out the class with blood dripping down his chin…these two really threw hands over poetry….Best not to poke at Chuuya unless you want to slapped .

🍷You're shocked cause how have go be pretty lame to get into a physical altercation OVER POETRY.

🍷You walk back into the classroom and there's a lingering tension from Dazai even after Chuuya left. You tried asking Dazai how did it escalate to actual physical violence but he keeps dancing around answering.

🍷A wave of shock hits you, the last time you saw Chuya get into a fight was like 4 weeks ago during a assembly and the last guy couldn't even get a hit in so the fact that DAZAI. THAT FREAK WAS ABLE TO LAY A HAND ON HIM?

🍷Talk about underestimating.

🍷Fyodor puts a firm hand on Dazai's shoulder and reassures him that Chuuya will forget about it tomorrow.

🍷Chuuya really did forget like Fyodor said!You tried to talk to him about his fight with Dazai and he doesn't even remember there being a fight!….Weird, From their interactions in the club that you've seen Dazai really got a rise got out if Chuuya so you're suprised that Chuuya didn't even seem to care.

🍷You decided to trade poems with Chuuya!You read his and he reads yours!….You thought you were bad at poems but damn!Chuuya didn't even put words it was just numbers and letters it looked like code from those movies or something.

🍷Looking up at Chuuya to question what he just gave you you see….oh god is that blood? Stop it! GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY

🍷Third day and you decide to proof read poems with Chuuya,His poem oddly intimidates you with how fancy and professional it feels, You look up and he wasn't even reading your poem at all!He was just staring at you!Before you could call him out he slips you a folded piece of paper. You open the paper and it flat out tells you to avoid Dazai…You look up from the piece of paper and Chuuya….has no face tells you to ignore the piece of paper he gave you and tells you to spend time with Fyodor…

🍷You tried to talk to Fyodor about it sure you find Dazai weird but hes sure as hell needs hep but Fydor insists that you sending time with Dazai only enables his behavior and that you should just stick with him and he tells you to just forget about it. Forget about Dazai.

🍷When you read your poem out loud to the club they compliment your work Dazai is the only one who asks you if he can take yours home with him and if you want to read his poem to yourself.

🍷You take his poem and read it…You swear that's blood and…other bodily fluids on it

🍷During this exchange you kept glancing from his poem and looking past his shoulder. Chuuya was giving you look of disapproval and concern before he eventually completely averted his gaze from you

🍷When you finish reading he's all up in your face asking if you liked it and explains its about a man and his mistress tying themselves together and drowning together and that he put his smell on the poem. He runs off saying he has to vomit before you can even properly understand what he just said.

🍷A argument started between the 3 men about who you should prepare for the festival with. You end up picking Fyodor so far he's the only sane person in this damn hell literature club

🍷Dazai goes quiet before he locks Fyodor and Chuuya out of the classroom leaving you two alone. Chuuya was cussing Dazai out from the other side of the door demanding to be let in and that he doesn't trust Dazai to be alone with you.

🍷The yelling stops suddenly. Chuuya was mid yelling before it went quiet…

🍷He confesses his love to you and apologies for his behavior and that he just didn't know how to process his feelings for you and him being annoying was how he dealt with them

🍷“OH GOD OH FUCK DAZAI STOP PLEASE”

🐀The club president

🐀In the beginning, there was darkness.

🐀A formless dark void.

🐀And then a voice boomed “Let there be light!” and there was light.

🐀Not much of a memory he can recall from, can't even remember what he had for breakfast or what he learned in class today, He just remembers the club room.

🐀The sweet boring club room.

🐀It was just him, Dazai, and Chuuya. He doesn't remember how he knows them or how he met them but they were apart of his club…that he has no recollection of starting .

🐀Then his vice president, Atsushi, walked in with…you.

🐀Your hair, your body, your voice, all things that belong to a monster. You.

🐀He enjoys your existence. Always acting innocent to everyone when he can read your soul.

🐀He likes having someone such as yourself in his club.

🐀He let's you stay in hope that you'll stop going down the route your on and turn to him.

🐀Yet you keep up with your ways.

🐀Continuing to present yourself to other like youre worth nothing. That's why you agreed to attend the literature club with Atsushi you heard there'd be attention. He sees right through you siren.

🐀You reading with him is clearly you buttering him up you're playing the long game from what he observed. Well played.

🐀But you don't know that he knows this. That he knows that you're actively trying to deceive him. He just sips the tea Dazai made and reads his book all while you're toying with your food for entertainment like the disgusting creature but he won't give into your act, a man such as himself should never entertain a dog unless he wants to meet his end.

🐀The way your lips flapped when you shared your poem made him want to vomit. Your poem was terrible yet he gave you praise, to stay civil with you.

🐀Your mouth is filthy. It doesn't matter what you're saying it all sounds dirty by a mouth tainted by the devil. One of God's worst creations. That's the only way to explain YOU.

🐀As much as he's unamused at how dirty you are he understands that poor souls like you need proper guidance.

🐀Your uncleanness was appealing and if he must take advantage of you to use your evil for himself he will.

🐀You stepped out the room.

🐀In a blink of a eye his vision went dark and he was back in the classroom repeating the same thing… Drink tea, read, write poetry,and read poem out loud.

🐀pick him let him help you

🐀Dazai and Chuuya get into a argument about poetry and drag you into it only makes him loathe you more with you acting as some sort of madonna and managing to convince everyone of it makes him irritated. He only watches as you manage to break up the fight.

🐀Its all black again.

🐀He disappears again until he's needed again.

🐀He can't remember anything…

🐀Other than the face…It was pure…On the other side of the screen….not inside the simulation. The only thing that is real.

🐀And he's back in the club room with Chuuya, Dazai, and Atsushi everyone and everything feels flat. 2D like paper cut outs. They aren't real…besides you.

🐀Your avatar walks in, he can see you inside the eye of your avatar, and he sees the avatar look at Atsushi and walk up to him…

🐀When your avatar walks up to him and asks him to check on Atsushi for you he agrees. So that you be distracted with spending time with the others and he could…mess with Atsushi at bit .

🐀Fyodor wished he could spend time with you but he needed the others out of the way first if he wanted to reach out to you. You two are the only two that are real.

🐀He left after he was certain he was done messing with Atsushi and went back to his usual spot and sat to drink the flavorless flat tea and blank weightless book right on time since your avatar immediately goes to Atsushi.

🐀He felt a sense of pride when he watches Atsushi drag himself out of the classroom. It worked.

🐀When Atsushi left he swiftly switches your attention onto him making sure to keep eye contact with your avatar so that he can see you.

🐀He lets you know that he and Atsushi were going to be making pamphlets for the festival, Chuuya was going to be baking, and Dazai was going to be banner making. He felt his digital heart boom when you agreed to work with him on the pamphlets. Finally just some one on one time.

🐀But Dazai and Chuuya shut it down since he already has a partner, Atsushi, to help him.

🐀….They just sealed their fates.

🐀When you left the class room and black came back into his vision. He immediately made it his goal to mess with Atsushi more to get him out the picture then get the others.

🐀The two of you are married under the eyes of God. Jesus was able to help Mary Magdalene. He'll he able to save your damned soul. That's why he's sentient.

🐀G̶̨̩̗͎̅̿̆̄̒͗̈̿̽̆͂o̴̬̪͈̯̳̥̩̹͊͗̕o̸͙̝͍̤͚̝̗͚͂̒͝d̷̨͚͓̫̱̲̙̹̩̜̤̄ ̶̛̹͚͖̱͚̯͈̂̏̐̊́̔͌͐̓̊̒̋͛̚m̸͚̞͎̥̳̑̉̑̈́̈́̓̔͝ǫ̶̖̤̹͙͕̥̩̰̮͎͇̹͎̺̓͂̀̌̈́̑̄̇͛̽͆̍͂̚͠r̸̩̫̗̘̽͐̈́̾͛͐͊͊̓̿̍̓͛̑n̸̺̲͔̰̯̖̓i̸͎̭̔̆̅̋n̴̟̲̪̞̫̭̬͍̥̲̼̯̔̔͗̓̔g̶̠͔̝͙̦̩̮̓͑͌͆́͂̐͊̈́̈́͌̚͝͝-̷̹͇̯̲͚̱͎̞̊̀…̸̢̱͙̤̲̫̗͙̮̯̰̔̾…̷̢͚͔̼͍͎̜̙̖̮̣̪̠̿Ą̴͉̪̯̺̯̘̜͛̚ͅt̵̬̘͇̖̠͍̏́͐͛̊̒̅̈́̑͗͘͜͠͝͠s̷̡̢̺̫̤̲̥̻̙͙̀̏̏̍̓̈́̔̉͛̐̚͘͠ͅͅu̵̢͔͉̱̗̳̙̺͕͉͚̮͛͗̋̆̍s̶̡͉̜̰̦̠̳̳͒̿̐̒̅͑̂͊͒̓͋͘ͅͅh̷̢͓̺͇͖͍̜̐̈͛̈́̓̀͗͑̀̏̂̽́́͜i̷̡̧̬̼͓͈͙̰̖̣͑͌̋̉̓̓̎̀̕͜͜?̵̢̼̮̩͖̥̂͌̄̀͂̓͗̃̂̈́̀̈”̵̢̼͔̗͎̺͙̭͙͕̞̓̈̅̃͆͐̏̉͗̅̕͜

🐀He’s been in the code. He knows everything that happens and he's tampered with it enough that'll make you gravitate towards him but also not scare you away.

🐀He wrote his poem to specifically for you turn to him,you two are meant to be, let him out.

🐀He felt nothing when Chuuya and Dazai gave you their poems considering he knew what would happen to them and that soon you'll only be able to interact with him.

🐀He was calm when he ushered you out of the club room due to the fight between Chuuya and Dazai, something he planned to happen, he counted for the exact amount of time it his head that he coded and on cue Chuuya stormed out he was already waiting for what to happen next.

🐀And it happened Chuuya forgot everything about the fight that Fyodor scripted.

🐀Fyodor wrote another poem. Eve trying to convince Adam to bite the apple for her.

🐀Please help him. Don't fall for the snakes.

🐀You're coming to him, Finally ignoring the non existent fictional characters and coming to him. Everything is going just as planned to freak you out into his arms. Faceless Chuuya gave a shock? Weirded out by the bodily fluids on Dazai's poems?Don't worry he's here and normal. The normal option. The real option.

🐀You care for Dazai yes?He's your friend so don't enable this behavior of his. The more time you spend with him the more you're supporting him. Just forget about it. Forget about him. Forget about everyone.

🐀Look at his behavior towards you!It's disturbing. Depraved. You wouldn't want his poem fluids to get more alarming would you?Because he can up the extremity if needed.

🐀You have to pick Fyodor for the festival now. He's coded that you physically can't pick anyone but him. He just feels his digital stomach flip when you pick him. He can finally speak to a real person. Not just someone who's a bunch of code like Dazai and Chuuya.

🐀They were finally dealt with.

🐀“OH GOD OH FUCK DAZAI STOP PLEASE”

🐀Its just him and your avatar. Him staring into your avatars eyes and at you. He explains that all this was inevitable that it was meant to happen. God didn't make him self aware for no reason. For no purpose. He's meant to be with you. He had to ruin the others files for you to focus on him and it worked. Now your eyes are on him. DELETE?

[emhm]

Coffee? Please?

Let me preface this by saying; I am not disabled and this is not about 'urgent' vet bills.

[I have an outstanding debt to pay in that regard, but the monthly payment is small and the service was already done. It was the amputation for our kitten Lucky's dead front leg.]

I do have a job and the pay is too good to quit. I work 40 hours a week and I spend almost 13 more hours just driving to and from work because our boss 'can't find a work assignment closer to where I live.' Up until about two weeks ago my partner was also working 40 hours a week on an opposing shift. We were just starting to get on top of our crushing pile of monthly bills. Then she lost her work assignment [not her fault] and he couldn't find anything else for her to do. So she lost a whole weeks pay. He found her a place, but now she's only getting 24 hours a week instead of 40. And we were already struggling to pay for the bare essentials. I was hoping so hard to just have something left when the bills were paid. But my entire tax return was used to pay for overdue bills and it still wasn't all of them.

-We have not had a working washing machine since September. Almost all of my ancient towels have rotted and ripped apart from trying to hang dry them to avoid killing the dryer too.

-Our house does not have central heat or air so we've been freezing for months with no money to buy wood for the stove. [It's warmer now but still in the low 40s at night where I am.]

-We have been flushing the toilet with buckets of water for almost a year because hiring a plumber is not happening.

-For over a year we have been fighting the flea infestation caused by the deadbeat trash-pit roommate we had to force to move out. They're biting me as well as the cats and I'm allergic to them. So I constantly have a rash on my feet and ankles. We never have money for flea drops consistently enough to get rid of them and I do not have a working vacuum to get rid of the flea eggs in the carpet.

-I just had to take on $1200 worth of debt because my tires were bald from my ungodly commute and they told me the brakes need replacing very soon.

-Our youngest cat Lucky will need to be fixed soon because she's almost old enough to go into heat. [She's indoors only but I don't want to deal with the screaming.]

Our predatory mortgage payment is almost $2000 a month with all their shitty add-on fees. My car payment is $334. The internet is $87. The power is usually $125. Car insurance is about $115. Garbage is $65. Our car is shared and I go through 1 tank +1/4 tank of gas EVERY WEEK. I owe both Sunbit AND Carecredit. We're both estranged from abusive parents and have no other family to turn to in an emergency.

I can't ask for money for fanfic. I know that's unethical and illegal.

But I can tell you that I write better/faster/more when I'm not distracted by gut-wrenching despair, crippling anxiety attacks and the bone-deep fear of quickly losing my home because I'm always two missed paychecks away from disaster. I know pretty much everyone is in the same boat, and my problems aren't unique or special.

But anything helps.

I have several hundred dollars in overdue bills from last month and it's already time for the next month's to start arriving. I feel so hopeless and I don't know what else to do besides resorting to begging.

I just set up a Ko-fi account - https://ko-fi.com/followmeontumblr

My Paypal is attached to this old email address - Nightshade518@yahoo.com

I have an Etsy shop with some things for sale - https://www.etsy.com/shop/PatchworkLaboratory

I also have a Spoonflower shop with fabric featuring my designs. [I only make $1.50 per yard that people buy though.] - https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/infamousdoctorf

And for anyone who was kind enough to read this whole thing- I do have some NSFW sketches I've drawn for "Eclipse Meets His Match" that I have nowhere safe to post. If you're bold enough to direct-message me with the line-

"I swear on all I hold holy that I am not a minor. Show me the art."

I'll let you see them. Thank you either way.

-Doc

[stealth-liberal]

Whew, I have a lot to say, and I know for a FACT that not a single non Jewish person on here will give a shit... but I have to vent.

Antisemitism in America is so bad that I honestly don't know if it's safe to send my daughter off to college in 2 years. She doesn't know either. Both of us have discussed her staying home and doing as much of her university education online, so as to keep her safe. She has sensory issues and an anxiety disorder... and already she has been rejected all over the place in her high school campus since 10/7.

The Women's Empowerment Club? The club leader has made it so that no female Jewish student feels safe there, and all of them quit. The little leftist neo nazi in charge of it probably cheered as they left and patted herself on the back for her "praxis". Maybe she can start goose stepping and yelling "Heil Hitler!" while she's at it. But she's not unique. Feminist organizations the world over deny mass rape of Jewish women. Why? Because it's Me Too Unless You're a Jew. They want us all raped and in the grave. Period.

The Pride Club? Forget it. All queer Jewish kids are persona non grata there. Apparently it's cool if Jewish queers are the subject of violence... and I can't say more or I'll start wanting to kill people. I am bisexual, my husband is bisexual, our daughter is lesbian. I have been part of this community since I was 12 as an ally and since I was 15 as a bisexual (took me some time to figure out what I was). My daughter came out in 4th grade for G-d's sake. We've been there, fighting the fight and now... queer organizations all over the world are abandoning us. They honestly hope we will all die, the more violently the better.

I was a proud intersectional feminist and a proud queer woman my whole life. Or at least ever since I could make decisions about that sort of stuff and what I believed. And I have been abandoned, my daughter has been abandoned, for blood sport. Her friends are pulling away from her and we all know why... because she committed the unpardonable sin of being Jewish.

Funny part? The Muslim Student Union has done nothing to her or the other Jewish kids on campus. Ponder that thought leftists if you will.

My son is in 8th grade and for the entirety of his 6th and 7th school years he was relentlessly bullied for being Jewish. We live in a red town and it was right wing antisemitism. It was so bad that I had to remove him for his safety from the school for a while. Now? It's left wing as well, he's catching it from both sides and I don't know how to protect him.

No one cares. Frankly, if my 13 year old son committed suicide to get away from it all... they would throw a party. Another dirty Jew/Zionist down... am I right? None of you give a fuck.

I marched, I protested, I voted, I phone banked. I lived my beliefs in action, and the left betrayed me. They fantasize about me and my children being raped and murdered. The more graphically it could happen, the better for them. Frankly, I think they get off to the videos Hamas released in the privacy of their rooms at night.

There's nowhere to run. Israel isn't an option. I know everyone thinks Jews are dripping in wealth... but I frankly do not have enough money to move my family to the other side of the planet. My husband is in IATSE, the stage hand local. There are no jobs waiting for him there. There are no jobs waiting for me there. I have no family there. Neither does he.

Actually, my husband isn't Jewish. I am, our children are, but he is not. He supports us in our Jewishness 100%, but he is not a Jew and he never wanted to convert. Which is fine with me... but how the hell does that work in a country where there is no civil marriage?

I'm not Orthodox, I don't want to be Orthodox. I want full egalitarianism, so I go to Reform, Renewal, or Conservative synagogues, depending on what is closer to wherever I live. Israel is a VERY Orthodox country, and the options are Orthodox or completely secular. This is a criticism I've been laying at Israel's feet for DECADES.

And Jew Haters better not use this as a way to say how awful Israel is. Not when the countries surrounding Israel are either dictatorships or absolute power, divine right monarchies who kill dissenters constantly.

So... there's really nowhere for my family to go. So I guess I'll stay where I am being a liberal Jew and waiting for the sick marriage of MAGA and Leftists to come to my door and kill me and my family.

None of you care. All of you would cheer. I'll never trust any of you again for the rest of my life. Till the day I die... I'll never trust any of you in any part of my life (online or offline) again.

1 in 5 members of Gen Z think the Holocaust didn't happen. 2/3rds of Gen Z think stories of the Holocaust are exaggerated and that Jews were somewhat complicit in what happened to us. Blame the victim...amirite? The rates amongst Millennials are not as horrific... but they're still bad. You all are going to commit a 2nd Holocaust and pat yourself on the backs. And when history remembers you all as the Nazis part 2... you will babble in your nursing homes that you were "Just trying to save the world from the Zionist/Jewish scourge."

When that happens, I hope you die in a puddle of your own shit.

[davidchiemcore]

started thinking about how much money each of the characters likely makes

(DRDT SPOILERS AHEAD - for character and story backgrounds)

basic information I'm going off of: drdtdev stated that everyone except Teruko and Min make their living from their talent. the hope's peak academy they attend is located in the US, and they're specifically part of the east class, so implying its somewhere on the eastern side of the us. While they don't have to live where the school is, there is a western branch of Hope's Peak, so the fact that they attend the eastern branch suggests that they're closer to that side. The series takes place sometime in the future, but given the world had a major tragedy and seems to be on the same level as the world we live in, I'm gonna assume inflation is roughly the same as now

teruko: She does mention having to choose between rent and food, meaning she makes some sort of money, and enough to rent a place at times. I assume she works some sort of minimum wage job, given she doesn't have full schooling experience. a lot of the eastern us has minimum wage at 7.25, but places in the northeast have it a bit higher, from 10-15. If she earned something like 13 dollars an hour, worked 40 hours a week, and worked every week, she would make around 27k. However, with her bad luck and lack of legal documents as mentioned when she talks about her schooling, I assume she probably loses jobs quite frequently. Assuming she's unemployed for about a fourth of the year, she would' earn roughly 20k

xander: This one confuses me a bit. He's basically an activist, so I'm not sure what kind of job he would have consistently. Additionally, he lived in the UK from at least age 14 until he started attending Hope's Peak, so I had to look for jobs there. Looking it up, it seems that the pay ranges from 23k-49k, averaging at 33k (all in pounds). Converting that, the average salary would be 43-44k. He's living with no family, and who were poor enough to likely not leave anything behind, so he probably has to work a lot to pay for his overseas school. However, he did do school at the same time, so I'll take 3/4s of the total salary to give him 33k a year.

charles: Given that being even an entry-level chemist requires at least a four year degree, I assume he may work as an assistant to one at the moment. They still make quite a bit of money, however, most making 37k-49k a year. The average is 49k, but there's a chunk of outliers around 82k, mostly from California, which is in the western US. Therefore, I think it's reasonable to suggest he makes something in the middle of the range I gave, giving him a salary of 43k. However, given that he was likely doing school at the same time and has parents to support him, who also seemed to shelter him a lot, he likely works part time. For part time, I'll cut the salary by half and say he probably earns 22k a year.

ace: Horse jockeys get paid per race, both for winning and participating, so this is a little harder to calculate. Most horse jockeys earn 53k-67k, but given that Ace is the Ultimate Jockey, this is a job where being skilled can really help you rise in the ranks, both of how much you can charge, and how often you win. It's also something that he could reasonably have a couple years of experience in given that they only need to be 16 years old to start professionally racing. Therefore, I would put him at the high end of the average or maybe even higher. I'll estimate 70k per year. Many horse jockeys drop out of school to focus on their job, so I'll leave him at that.

arei: This is also a little harder to calculate, because while you can bowl at any age, you can only join the Professional Bowlers Association once you turn 18. However, she could still compete for prizes in PBA Jr. and other smaller competitions. This year's PBA Jr. Competition gave 10k in scholarship money, but most competitions have at most a couple thousand dollars as the top reward, so I'll estimate she might make about 12k in a year? However, she lives with family still, so this is probably fine for her.

rose: rose is stated to have earned several millions doing forgery, so her previous salary would've been incredible. However, now she just does recreations of other paintings. None of the money goes to her, but if we still want to calculate it, the average reproduction artist earns 46k a year.

hu: I assume she likely does small venues where she plays the zither. According to a reddit post, the average earnings for a gig for a small musician is around $230, and assuming she does an average of one a week (some weeks she might do more, some weeks she might not do any), she'd earn about 12k a year.

eden: Eden is stated to both do clock making and clock repair. Most clock repairers make 36k-44k a year, averaging to 40k, and the average clock maker earns about 40k a year as well. She says that she can work 14 hours without breaks, implying she has some very long work days, possibly putting her slightly above the average at 42k.

levi: At first i thought Levi would make a lot because personal stylists sound like a rich people thing? But looking into it the average salary in the US ranges from 34k-50k a year, and since he states that he's relatively new to the field, he probably leans to the lower end of that. im gonna put him at 36k? He lives alone, so he likely works full time to pay for his living conditions.

arturo: Similar to Charles, he likely doesn't perform his actual job yet regularly. Half of all plastic surgeon assistants make somewhere between 22k-56k a year, with the halfway point at 37k. The median amount is around 44k. Given that he was likely working part-time, as he was probably in school at the same time, I'll cut that in half to give him a salary of 22k per year.

min: It's stated that her schooling up until this point was paid for by the spurling foundation, so i assume either the same is the case for her time in college, or her parents were able to save a lot of money to pay for it. Given this and how much time she puts into school, i assume she doesn't have a job.

david: This was a hard one to calculate. The average motivational speaker (I know he's called an inspirational speaker but in this case they're interchangeable) can make anything from 500 to 30k per speech, depending on their experience and skill. We know David is a well-known celebrity, being famous worldwide, but it's not to the degree that everyone in the class is shocked by his appearance, just Xander. If he work to make 10k a speech, and do one speech every two months, he'd be making 60k a year. In addition to this, many speakers have alternate sources of income, like book and channels. He's not stated to have these, but I'd assume he at least does smaller talks, maybe giving him another 10k a year?? As he's paid per speech, this doesn't require a lot of hours, so he probably is able to make full pay while also going to class. I'm not sure if this is a super accurate salary, but it's hard to get a gauge on it, so I'm going with 70k a year.

veronika: How does one make money as a horror fanatic? She mentions being a scholar in her field, so maybe she writes papers and small books on the subject. However, I'm a personal fan of the "deep dive youtuber" theory, so I'll calculate for both. For scientific papers, you can earn from a few hundred to a few thousand per paper. Given this kind of stuff takes at least a couple months of research, I'd say she would only make a few thousand a year. Maybe 10k if I'm being generous and giving her a 2k article every other month? Now, for the other idea, youtubers make about 2.5-7.5 dollars per thousand views on a video. If she gets an average of 800k views per video (with a couple million on some and a few hundred thousand on some), and makes 5 dollars per thousand, she'd be getting about 4k per video. Again, if she puts out a video every other month, this would be getting her 20k.

j: Special Effects artists make anywhere from 44k to 86k a year. The average is 68k, but most make either a bit more or a bit less, and given J's influence from her mother, I'd assume she's in the higher range. The highest category is 23% of people making 78k-86k, so I'll give her 80k. I'm not sure about whether she'd work fulltime or part time, because she definitely has the money to work part time because of her mother, but she might also try to make all her own money herself to spite her? I'm leaning that she works part time, so if I cut that in half she still makes 40k a year.

whit: The average professional matchmaker makes 42k-46k a year. The average is a clean 44k a year. Again, I'm not sure if he'd work part time or full time because we don't know much about his living situation. It's possible he needs to help support his single dad, so I'll put him at 3/4s of that, 33k.

nico: Most animal behavior specialists, which is what Nico says they are in their conversation with Xander, make 46k-53k a year, with an median of 48k. However, given they don't have a degree yet, I'll assume they make on the lower end of that, so 46k. They mention going to school, so they likely work part time, cutting that in half to give them a salary of 26k.

if anyone read this far thank you this took me like three hours HAHA