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idontplaytrack · 6 days ago

Note

can u do angst with auli'i plz?

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Warnings: mature themes— mentions and descriptions of terminal illness and death

I don’t write requests for celebs here, just their characters. For more Auli’i x fem! reader fics, or to request these, visit my Wattpad (@/multinovels)

————

Inspired by:

"Heaven's not ready for you; every part of my aching heart needs you more than the angels do"

— Joanne, Lady Gaga

————

"Hello, love!" Auli'i grins, holding up her little digital camera to record you, "Where are we at, baby?"

"Hi." You chuckled, smile mirroring hers, "We...are at Disney World. Because they have a new ride and you were invited."

"We were invited."

"Yeah, well...you're the Disney Princess. I'm just tagging along, babe."

She laughs, "We're gonna have so much fun today."

"Yes, we are." You nodded eagerly.

The smile doesn't leave her face, "Let's get dressed, and get our day started, yeah?"

You've been together with Auli'i for about five years now and for the last three, thanks to her best friend's hobby of vlogging, you've started to pick that up— capturing little moments of your days, be it a mundane night-in or a slightly more exciting trip to wherever the job takes her or your hearts desire. You usually were the one recording, and she was okay with it because they were just little glimpses of your day. But sometimes, she was the one to pick up your camera to record, also having the same habit as you did over time. You were beyond lucky, not having to worry about too much of how to afford them. Because she never let you, in her own words, she was 'making bank' and was able to let you both experience and explore so much of the world together.

~~~~

"Babe, look!" You gasp, grabbing her wrist, "It's you!"

"Aw, it is me." She smiles, it was evident that she was, despite not showing her face on camera at the moment, "You guys. That's me. That's Moana. She looks great. Oh, my God, should we get it?"

"Oh, we should!" You gasped, excited, "It's the last one?"

"It's the last one here. They might have more in the back if you guys want to choose." The tour guide confirms.

"It's okay. This one looks good, we'll just take this one." Auli'i decided.

~~~~

"You guys— we're homeeee." Auli'i squeals, "Today is day one in Hawai'i and we are super excited. It is so beautiful here, this place never fails to amaze me."

She flips the camera around to record you, "And that's y/n. Still being all pouty about being woken up early. Good morning, baby."

You glared at the camera, sulking, but soon started to laugh. "Good morning, you."

"Come onnnnn, we're in Hawai'i." She zooms in on your face, grinning, "I'll make it up to you later."

"You said nine-thirty."

"It is nine-thirty." She says.

"No, it's not." You said.

It was 9:27, so, close enough. You were just trying to be a little playful with her.

"I'll make it up to you~" She repeated herself.

You smiled, "Hi. And hi to the camera too." You checked your reflection, realising you looked like a mess, "Yeah, I'm gonna go get washed up. That's not a good look.”

"You look cute." She says, setting your camera down, "But I'll turn off your camera now."

~~~~~

"Breakfast on the beach." You showed the food on your beach mat then the ocean, slowly, you moved the camera's focus onto Auli'i who was happily munching away on her poké bowl. She turned to look at you and the camera captured her smile, she also waves.

"Come here, baby." She gestures for you to sit closer. You do just that, and she puts her hand on your thigh. Your camera was left right beside you, capturing more footage of the ocean while Auli'i leans her head on your shoulder for a second.

~~~~~

"We're at the airport." You talked quietly to the camera, having it close to your face since it was crowded.

Turning the camera around, you showed Auli'i's outfit. "Fit check!" She did a peace sign, then taking the camera from you to show your outfit. "Oh, gorgeous!" She squeals.

You blushed. She'll always have that effect on you. Always. "Anyway..." You took your camera back, "We're going to New Zealand."

She pulls an excited face, wrapping an arm around your shoulder while the both of you walked around to find somewhere to sit and wait for boarding.

~~~~

"We're at the hotel now. It's pretty late, and y/n's really tired so she went to bed. But I'm still up, so I decided to show what I was doing— I'm reading a book I stole from Lauren." She chuckles, whispering,"But look at her~ She's so cute."

You were right beside her, fast asleep. She rubs your back, and kissed you on the side of your head. "I love her so much."

~~~~

"Okay, you guys. Tattoo time." You record your reflection in a mirror at the tattoo place, "Not for me. For her."

Auli'i was near you, getting settled for the process. She was just about to take off her top when you turned your body and the camera. "Oop." She stopped yourself, "Maybe I shouldn't—"

"That's okay." She assured, chuckling over her words. "Come sit with me though, please?"

"Of course."

The process was pretty long and you caught a couple clips for memories sake. You also showed the end result. "Look!" She exclaimed excitedly. "Oh, that's so beautiful." You remarked in awe.

~~~~

"Syracuse!" You exclaimed, "How are we feeling?"

"Excited~ I can't wait to start filming again."

"Guys look! It's Lauren." You shifted yourself closer and showed her to the camera. She was driving.

"Thanks for driving us." Auli'i says.

"Not a problem." She says back gleefully.

The three of you were in New York so Auli'i could start work on a second movie for Crush. A film from her character AJ's perspective about falling in love with Paige.

~~~~

"I'm in the city." You declared to the camera.

"With Lauren." She chimed in, getting into frame. "We're being such tourists right now."

"Yes, we are." You laughed over your words, gasping when you spotted the Disney Store in the distance. "We gotta go to the Disney Store."

"You know I'm gonna drag you there anyway, girl."

~~~~

"Get one! It's so cute, y/n."

"I already have a Pua plushie." You showed the toy to the camera, then Lauren who was standing beside you looking at the shelf filled with Disney animal plushies.

"Not this one you don't." She said, devious smile on her face, "You love it, she gets a good laugh. You should totally buy it."

"Really?"

"How about this? You get Pua and I'll get Heihei."

"Okay, deal."

"Heck yeah."

~~~~

"I found her camera. Just got back from set, Lauren says y/n's not feeling too good so she went to bed pretty early." Auli'i spoke to the device quietly, "What is it, like a stomachache?"

"She couldn't really describe it, but that seems like it." Lauren shrugs.

"Oh. Well, I hope the sleep will do her some good." Auli'i frowns, "We're just gonna head out for a bit to grab a late dinner. Well- supper, yeah. Then I'll be back to keep an eye on her."

~~~~

"We're back." Auli'i kept her volume down, "Still asleep." She walks closer to you to check on you, camera still in hand. "Oh, that's so freaking cute. It's Pua."

"Okay, I'm gonna stop filming for the night. Bye-bye, we'll see you when we see you."

~~~~

"It's the next day. Not sure if anyone else recorded anything while I was asleep, but I'll check later." You rubbed your eyes, blocking a yawn with your hand.

You'd just washed up and changed into a new outfit for the day.

"Auli'i already went to set, with Lauren and Amalea so I'm on my own for now." You blinked, "Oh! She got me breakfast. Wow, that is...thank you, Li'i."

~~~~

"Still feeling a little bit sick so I'm staying here for the day. So no footage from set for now."

"Watching some TV, cuddling with this little guy that Lauren convinced me to buy. There's Heihei— in her room. Look." You zoomed into Lauren's room that was opposite of where you were seated in the living area.

~~~~

You were with her for a big part of the time where she was in New York filming that movie. But you decided to fly back home early since you've been having an uneasy feeling weighing on you from the day you got that stomachache. Despite feeling generally better after a few days, you just failed to feel like yourself again. She had three weeks to go and you decided the smarter decision to make was to head home since the traveling and stress from it was starting to take a toll on you.

"Keep me posted. Talk to me whenever, okay?"

"I will. See you soon, babe."

"Have a safe flight, my love. I'll see you again so soon." With one last kiss, you were off, walking into the departure gate and entering. Recording one last clip of Auli'i waving goodbye and blowing a kiss to you, you put your camera away for the time being.

~~~~

"I'm home. Been home for a couple days, didn't really do anything but spend time at home resting."

~~~~

"Just picked up Rocco from our friend's place. Happy to have this boy to keep my company. Say hi to the camera, bubs."

He stares at it.

You laughed, petting his head.

~~~~

"y/n, are you...alright?"

"Why?" You squinted.

"You've lost some weight, babes."

"Honestly? Hannah, I dunno. I've been feeling like shit for weeks and I can't figure out why.”

"Weeks?" Hannah looked at you with wide eyes, "I'm taking you to the doctor."

~~~~

"Well...seems like I'm dying." You revealed to the camera.

"y/n." Hannah places a hand on your shoulder.

"Please- they said it was in the later stages because this cancer is so rare that they only diagnose it when it's too late for successful treatment." You scoffed. "What the fuck am I going to tell our friends, our family? Oh, fuck— what do I tell— how do I tell Auli'i?"

She holds you, knowing that you were going to start crying any second. "Fuck! What did I do wrong to deserve this shit?"

~~~~

Pacing your room, Rocco looked at you like you were crazy. Hannah was in your kitchen making dinner but you had no appetite to eat, both from the news you just found out and the stress of having to break the news to so many.

"I just flew home, Hannah. I can't do this over the phone and peace out."

"I can fly back to New York with you." Hannah immediately offered.

"She's working, Han. That's selfish."

"Babe, you guys are partners."

"I can't do it— any of this." You spat, "Shit!"

You fell back on the couch, in pain. Hannah watched you closely. "I'm fine. Whatever. I'm not getting treatment just so I'll have to suffer more before I die."

~~~~

A week later, Auli'i was back in Los Angeles. Your anxiety, without a doubt was through the roof.

"I gotta talk to you, honey." You took a deep breath, holding her hand.

Immediately, she puts down her book, focusing on your entirely. "Last week, Hannah took me to the doctor because I've been feeling really just like crap for awhile. She said I've lost a lot of weight and I honestly just didn't know why and what the hell was going on. But, the doctors did a bunch of tests and told me I'm going to die."

"What?"

"Bile duct cancer." You revealed.

That look on her face was something you wish you never had to see. She was trying so hard to not cry, it made you cry immediately. "I'm so sorry." You sniffled, "I don't know how it— they said this is usually the case, too late for successful treatment and I just— I don't know what to do. I'm so scared. But I don't want to put you through this with me—"

"I will be with you every step of the way." She held your face gently, "Don't you ever think for even just one second that you'll have to be alone. I will be right by your side."

~~~~

Over the next few days, your family and friends were told about it. Her mother even flew in to spend more time with you.

Today, Auli'i took you to Disneyland with her mom, a VIP guide tagging along. Now for the obvious reason of any emergency situation.

Auli'i's completely took over your camera ever since the diagnosis, wanting to capture as many memories as possible. You never really had the energy anymore, but knew she would need this so she was doing it.

"Hi, lovey." She says, "Wanna tell the camera where we are?"

You gave a small smile, her mom having an arm around your waist carefully, "Disneyland."

"Look at those minnie ears, so pretty. Do you like 'em?"

You nodded, "I do. Thank you."

"You look so beautiful, sweetie." Her mom gushes. You only gave her a smile in return.

~~~~

"Went on some rides. Now we're going to get some lunch and see where we're headed next."

"Where you wanna go, Mom?"

"Oh, let her choose. I'm fine with anything." Her mom says.

"Alright, then. And since I have no idea as well, baby— what do you feel like having?"

You hummed in thought, "Kinda craving some pizza?"

"Then that's what we're gonna get." She says, smooching you on the cheek. Her mom lets go off you and let Auli'i put her arm around you next.

~~~~

"We're on a little drive to the beach. Having some shaved ice. Well, I am. She's taking a little nap."

She held the camera up for a bit just to record you even though you were fast asleep.

~~~~

"On the beach now. Sun's setting, she's just laying on my lap." Auli'i smiles looking at you adoringly, stroking your cheek.

"I wish we could just freeze time and stay like this forever." You sigh, snuggling closer to her.

She strokes your hair, putting the camera down and leaning down to kiss you on the head. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too."

~~~~

"Morning walk." Auli'i says to the camera, "Look at this cutie. Show me the fit!"

You laughed, covering the lens. "Stop that, you look so fucking adorable, y/n." She gently took your hand off the lens.

You took her hand into your own and she tilts the camera down to record a clip of that, your fingers intertwined.

"You want some breakfast from the bakery?"

"No."

"That's okay."

~~~~

"We're spending the day at home today, she's—"

You groaned behind her, waking up from your night of sleep. Auli'i immediately put the camera away and went to your side. "Hey." She stood the bed, "Are you alright?"

You shook your head no, she knowingly helped you sit up kicking the trashcan right to your feet. "Deep breaths, lovey. I got you, I'm right here."

You mumbled incoherently, bursting into tears as the sickening feeling build up and up in your abdomen. With bile rising up your throat, you promptly threw that up into the trashcan.

This woke you up, you couldn't even go back to sleep if you tried. But you were in so much pain everywhere, at every moment, nothing you did made you happy or even just feel okay enough to be awake.

You sat leaning against the headboard uneasily, trying to calm yourself down but miserably failed.

Auli'i got rid of the trashcan's contents and quickly returned to you and helped you clean up.

"You want a bath?"

"No." You cried, clinging onto her for dear life as the tears seeped into her shirt, she cautiously rubbed your back— the warmth provides you a slight relief and major comfort.

You've always tried to be strong and not cry, but with the pain and your eventual fate, you were beyond terrified and seemed to be in a constant state of being on the verge of tears all the time. But when you did cry, there Auli'i was to make the moment seem better. Even though truthfully, every moment she sees you was breaking her heart. You've heard her crying once while she thought you were asleep, then you were just filled with guilt. More of it over time. You were miserable and dragging her down with you, you felt that you shouldn't have let her be going through all of it with you but she's never left your side since then. She loved you so deeply and you always felt that love, it was just becoming harder and harder to reciprocate and that kills you.

~~~~

"Lauren's coming by with some games." Auli'i informs the camera, "She's taking a little nap because she took pain meds. Rocco's keeping me company right now while I cook something for us. She asked for some soup and crackers so that's what I'm making for her."

~~~~

"Lauren's here." Auli'i says quietly, then showing her on the camera. She waves, "Hi. She asleep?"

Auli'i confirms with a nod, "She doesn't sleep very long so she'll be up soon. Lunch is almost ready."

"Rice with stir fried vegetables and some chicken. There's some soup, but mainly for her."

"Ooh, that looks good.”

"Thanks. it just has to simmer for a few minutes more." Auli'i smiles, walking away into the room with the camera. Right then, you stir in your sleep and soon woke up.

"Hey, Lauren's here, baby."

"Did she wait for long?"

"No." She hums, "She just got here. You ready to get up?"

You nod, "Yeah." Auli'i took your hand while you helped yourself up from the bed.

"I'm just gonna use the bathroom and I'll be right out."

"Okay, honey."

~~~~

"We have a winner~" Auli'i focuses the camera on you, "She won three games in a row."

"That's impressive." Lauren chuckles.

"I love these girls." Auli'i whispers to the camera, "She looks so happy."

~~~~

"It's her birthday, you guys." Auli'i smiles, announcing that to the camera. "We've made her favourite cake, decorated the apartment, some friends are coming over. Now all that's left to do is pick her up from the hospital."

"She spent a couple nights there because the pain got really bad and we couldn't really get it under control, but I'm happy she gets to come home today."

~~~~

Auli'i opens the front door to her apartment with one hand, the other holding onto yours.

"Surprise! Happy birthday!"

Startled, you basically froze in your tracks until you registered each and every face in front of you.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you looked at the place, all decorated, all for you. To celebrate you.

"Oh, my god—" Your breath hitches, "Thank you."

~~~~

"Caaaake." Auli'i says, fork held between her teeth as she playfully zoomed in and out on you.

"Caaaake." You copied her tone, she giggles. "This is delicious, babe."

"I'm glad you like it." She squeezes your thigh. "After this, you've got some presents to open."

~~~~

"Stop." You stared at the item in the box, "What the fuck— sorry. This is so cute. You found it, I could never find a store with this in stock." You found a card at the bottom of the box and read it, "Lauren— oh, my god. Thank you."

You quite literally got everything you've ever had on your wish list and you were so grateful but that stabbed you in the heart a little knowing you couldn't be around long enough to enjoy and make use of them. They'd eventually just be sitting somewhere collecting dust, or be thrown out.

~~~~

"We're in New York City." Auli'i records your views, of Times Square.

"Last trip." You said flatly.

Auli'i bit her tongue, wishing it wasn't true but with the way you were feeling lately and how every single symptom presented itself, she knew you were right. She knew that you knew. All she could do was take it all in, cherish all the time she had left with you.

"Disney Store?" She suggested. you just agreed, knowing you weren't going to buy anything. What was the point anyway?

~~~~

"Buy it."

"For what?" You mumbled, "I won't be around anymore soon. It'll just be a waste of money."

"You want it, I'll buy it. I don't care about that, you're going to get what you want."

You took in a deep breath, trying to hide the grimace of pain, "Whatever. Okay."

As much as your mouth said no, deep down, you wanted that seemingly silly piece of merchandise. Auli'i knew you, so she insisted and even if you still said no, she would've just bought it anyway. She knows it will bring a smile to your face and she's been doing anything she can to see it.

~~~~

"Ice cream?"

"Ice cream." You confirmed, nodding eagerly.

"Amazing, let's go get some."

~~~~

"Is it good?"

"Mhm." You smiled at her, contently enjoying the dessert despite the growingly chilly weather.

She was recording you, like always, "I love you."

The smile returns to your face, even bigger than before, "I love you too."

~~~~

"I'm at the hospital." Auli'i recorded herself with shaky hands, tears streaming down her face. "I'm alone right now. My mom's on her way, but I—"

She breathes deeply in an attempt to calm herself back down, but ended up crying harder, "She collapsed. The pain was so bad she just passed out."

~~~~

"Lauren, I— can you come here, please? I need someone." Auli'i says into her phone, "Please, I can't—"

"I'm already on my way, honey. I'll be right there."

Auli'i hangs up, putting her phone away as she sat in the hallway, head buried in her hands while she cried her eyes out. When Lauren and Auli'i's mom showed up, she hears commotion that snapped her out of her thoughts. "We are not commenting on anything. Please let us be alone." Lauren told the group of paparazzi firmly. "You need to leave. Otherwise, security's on the way. This is not the right place or time for any of this."

"Leave now." Her mother looked at them sternly. A few nurses, caught on quickly and kept the group out, leading Lauren and Auli'i's mother to where she was safely.

"They said she's not going to wake up anymore. It's spread basically everywhere." Auli'i spoke through tears as her mother hugs her tightly, "If she does, she'll basically be in so much pain she won't stay awake for long."

"She's done her best, she knows you love her."

"I don't want her to leave me, mommy." She chokes on a sob, "Why did it have to happen to her?"

No one knew what to say but knew she needed the comfort. So they just hugged her until she eventually stopped crying and decided to walk into your hospital room.

"Mom and Lauren are here to see you, baby." She sits down on a plastic chair by the bed, "I wish I could've done more for you, I wish I could've known what was happening and took you to a doctor earlier. I'm so sorry you have to be in so much pain, y/n. I'm so sorry I can't just take it all away from you. I just— love you so much and I can't imagine my life without you. I wish you didn't have to leave, but I know you have to. You've fought so hard and held on for so long. You proved your doctors wrong. You are a fucking warrior, darling. I am so amazed and in awe and proud of you."

Taking a breath, she continues all while still crying. Lauren and her mom watched from outside, heartbroken. "I— y/n, you've taught me so much in our time together. You've made my life so much better, y/n. I've never felt a love like yours, I've never seen a smile like yours, an enthusiasm, a support like yours. And it kills me that I can't have you, my biggest cheerleader with me anymore. To have, to hold, to kiss and love. I'll miss you so so much, sweet girl. I'm sorry I wasn't there with you for those three weeks, I'm sorry that you had to go through that alone. I'm sorry— I didn't think it'd be this. I didn't think the universe would snatch you away from me so soon."

You've been drifting in and out since you arrived at the hospital, but you did hear it all, what she's been saying. You squeezed her hand as best as you could, to let her know you were still here. "Don't be sorry. No one knew." You managed, "I love you."

"I love you more than anything, baby." She sniffed, looking at you with such loving eyes.

"I'm sorry I had to put you through this." You say, tears slipping down your cheeks unintentionally, "You don't have to be here. Just let me go."

"No." She said firmly, "I'm not letting you go alone, baby. Please."

She took something out from her pocket and slid it onto your finger, "Always. And forever. You're my girl, okay?"

You sobbed at this point, realising what it was. In so much pain, yet you couldn't stop yourself. She presses a kiss to your lips, and you reciprocated, knowing it was your final chance. "You brought the ring?"

She nods, stroking your cheek, "Of course I did."

Right before she left for filming in New York, she proposed to you and you two were engaged, then quickly got a marriage license at city hall. A wedding was to be planned but it never did happen because of this.

That will always be a regret of yours, not getting to celebrate your union in front of friends and family, to get to show her off.

"Take good care of yourself, of your Mom, your family..." You fought the tears to speak more clearly, "I'm very sorry, Auli'i. Please don't be mad at me."

She shook her head, "No. No, I've never been mad at you, baby. Never. Please don't keep saying that, y/n. I'm not mad at you."

"I'll miss you so much." You held her cheek in your hand, "I love you. I love you so much, please don't forget that. You've given me everything I could ever wish for and so much more. You've made me...feel so loved, so cherished, so special. Like I was the only girl in the world. Nowhere am I going to be able to find that again, thank you for everything. Thank you for loving me, thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for choosing me."

She was hovering over you since you were laid on your back, quite uncomfortably but sitting upright would make you feel worse so you didn't ask for it.

"I love you. That's never going to change." She holds onto your hand tightly, pressing a kiss to it. "That's never going to change, baby. That's all I want you to remember, take that with you. I promise I'll take care of myself, my mom, my family, friends..."

"Good." You smiled.

"I'm not gonna make you stay up any longer. I don't want you to be in pain anymore, y/n."

You were tired, you could feel your body giving up bit by bit. But you fought it, staying awake to get just a bit more time with her. With one look back, Auli'i's mom and Lauren entered the room quickly.

"Thank you for accepting me and welcoming me into your family, letting me feel a love I've always wanted but never got until I met you all. I won't forget all that you've done for me. And with me. I am so thankful. To have known you all for as long as I have."

"We love you, sweetheart." Her mom says. Lauren nodded, wiping her tears away quickly, "You have been such an amazing friend to me and an amazing partner to my best friend and I just— I adore you."

They quickly left the room, leaving Auli'i alone with you again. "You rest now, okay? Don't fight it anymore, it's okay. It's okay, baby." She holds onto your hand still, not wanting to let it go until she had to. "Baby, please. Close your eyes, I don't want you to struggle anymore. Please?"

And you did, you let it happen, your eyes droop shut. She feels the gradual loosening of your grip until her hand falls from yours. "A hui hou, ku'uipo."

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

Honestly just don’t have the capacity to write angst like this atm, but I am brainstorming for a new angst fic that’s to be posted on Wattpad:’)

#auli’i cravalho #wattpad #reposted fic #fanfiction #wlw #angst #wlw angst #mature themes #celeb x you #requested #anon requested #cw terminal illness

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tvmilfs · 2 months ago

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Me before the joanne world tour

#like you guys dont know how much i love this binch #i sold my soul to her at 15

9 notes · View notes

bteezxyewriter12 · 2 months ago

Text

Abused

Pairing- Jungkook x Named Reader

Word count- 3.1k

Includes- Heavy themes, physical abuse, harrowing phone call, murder, character death, violence, blood

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Jungkook Masterlist

Jungkook POV

"Do you have to go?", Joanne whines, wrapping her arms and legs around me, keeping me in bed and against her

I laugh turning to face her, "I don't want to baby but I have practice"

"Kooookkkiiieeee", she calls, shaking her head

She's so cute

I put my arms around her, holding her close, kissing her forehead

"Don't leave. Stay with me Kookie."

"Aww is my girl clingy today?", I chuckle

She nods her head, "I want my Kookie"

"You got me baby. Since the day I saw you."

She looks up at me smiling, "I know baby. You tell me all the time."

Smiling at her, I move closer, kissing her

She snuggles closer to me, her head on my chest

Her arms and legs are still around me

It's so cute

I run my fingers in her hair

"Baby"

"Nope", she answers

"Jo"

"Kookie"

"C'mon baby"

"Kookie can't you just stay? Just this once?"

I feel bad

She never asks me to stay

She deals with my schedule and everything that comes with being an idol

I want to stay with her so much

She needs a lot of love and affection after everything she's been through.

And I love that I'm the one to give it to her

That's why anytime she asks me to stay I do, especially because she almost never asks

But we're going on tour in two weeks and we're practicing non stop

It always gets so much more busy when we have a tour coming

"I want to baby. You know I love being with you. But we have the tour coming and I can't skip out on these practices. I'm sorry."

She pouts and it's the fucking cutest thing in the world

"Fine", she sighs, letting me go, rolling on her back

"I'm sorry baby. But I'll cuddle you and hold you and kiss you as soon as I get home. All night."

She glances over at me, "Promise?"

"Promise"

She gives me a small smile, "Ok"

Kissing her again, I get up and get ready

Joanne stays in bed

She had off today

I don't want to go, I just want to lay down with her, be with her

I always want to be with her

We've been together for two years and after all that time all I ever want is to be near her.

"I'll see you later baby. I love you"

She sits up, "I love you Kookie. So much"

She hugs me tightly, then kisses me again

Fuck she's really making it hard to leave

"Bye Kookie"

"Bye Jo"

I kiss her on the cheek, then I turn and leave our apartment

----------

The elevator opens at the lobby of our building and I step out

As I leave the building, I get the feeling that someone is watching me

I look around, scanning everywhere for any threats

Before Joanne, I shrugged of these kinds of feeling but not anymore

I'm very aware of my surroundings

I have to keep her safe

I met Joanne at a fan meet

She was one of the workers at the venue

She was the only girl I ever approached

We went out a few times but she was really quiet and always looking around anywhere we went

I still liked her a lot, and I asked her to be with me

She said that she had to tell me something before she says yes

That's when I found out about her horrible past

She moved here, to Busan, with her aunt from the U.S. after her parents died at the age of 15.

She kind of rebelled and was a wild kid

She met a guy, Jacob Zhou, who she went out with

He abused her

He separated her from her aunt, made her believe he was the only one who cared about her

Then he beat the crap out of her

All the time

I was horrified at what she told me

All the broken bones, cuts, punches, the things he used to hit her, the dozens of times she ended up in the hospital, all the scars she has that she thinks makes her body look gross

I told her she was crazy if she thinks that matters to me, that there was no way I'd believe she was gross

I saw them the first time we were together

She was worried but I told her she was beautiful

And she is, I love everything about her

Her scars don't make her gross

Not at all

She told me that she finally left him

She ran away one day, came to Seoul and she's been hiding from him ever since

He told her that if she ever left him, he'd find her and kill her

I told her I'd never hurt her, I still wanted to be with her and that I'd protect her

And I have done everything to keep her safe

ARMYS know I have a girlfriend but I've never posted pictures of her

We don't go out much, in case an ARMYS take pictures and post it

If we do go out, I do everything possible to shield her and keep her hidden.

No one knows where we live, only the necessary people like the guys and the managers at BigHit

I never leave her alone overnight

I never leave her here when there's a tour- she comes with me

She works at BigHit

I made my schedule so that I can take her to work and pick her up everyday

She's only ever alone for awhile when she has a day off

But she just stays in the apartment when she's off so I don't have to worry

I had to change a lot of stuff in my life for her but I love her more than anything and she is absolutely worth it.

After scanning the area three times and not seeing anything, I finally walk to my car to go to practice.

-----------

On the first break from practice, I look at my phone

One missed call from two hours ago

From Joanne

She left me a voicemail

She never does that

I dial my voicemail and hold the phone to my ear

"Jungkook!", she screams, fear in her voice

I immediately start panicking

"Kookie he found us. He's here."

She shrieks as I hear a banging

He found her

How?

How the fuck did he find her?

"Jungkook, I love you. I love you more than anything. You make me so happy. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're my world Kookie. I love you, forever baby. I swear", she sobs

My body is shaking as I start running to the door of the practice room

"Jungkook where are you going?", Hobi calls

"Kookie, I'm scared"

She lets out an ear splitting scream as I hear a crash

"You bitch", I hear him yell

"No, stop, please st-"

Then the voicemail ends

I need to get home now

He's dead

I'm going to kill him

I've never ran so fast in my life, getting to my car in record time

Getting in, I start the car, and peel away to my apartment

----------

It has to be less than five minutes before I pull up to my building

I sped all the way

Pounding up the stairs to our floor, I slow to a stop when I see the front door open

I'm so scared

But I'm ready to kill him

I walk slowly to our door, opening it more

I wait to listen for any sounds but I don't hear anything, so I quietly make my way into the apartment

I walk quickly to the kitchen and grab a knife

I do a sweep around the apartment but nothing

No one here

Not even Joanne

My muscles are still tense, waiting for anyone to try and attack me

The door to our bedroom is closed

I don't want to open it

But Joanne could need help

I make myself walk to the door and open it

I hear a scream and it takes me a few seconds to realize it's me screaming

I run to the bed, to where she is

There's so much blood

She's on her back, her eyes closed

Her face is bruised everywhere

Her eye is swelled shut, her lips are split in a few places, bruises along her temple, cheeks, forehead, jaw

But the worst is her chest

Her shirt is soaked with blood

Crying, I move her shirt and shriek when I see the dozens of stab wounds

Her arms have wounds on them too

The bed underneath her is drenched in red

"No baby. No", I sob

I pick her up and hold her to me

Her skin is so cold

She's not breathing

I put my hand to her chest, choking back a sob when I don't feel her heartbeat

"Jo, no. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I'm sorry he found us. I should of tried harder baby. I'm sorry", I cry

I thought she was safe

I made sure to get an apartment in a high security building

How the fuck did he get in?

How did he find us?

Her name isn't on anything- no credit cards, no leases for cars or the apartment.

Her mail is always addressed to resident

Her paychecks are made to my name, her account in my name

Everything is in my name

I made sure

So how?

Holding her tighter, I will her to hug me, to kiss me, to tell me she's ok

But her body is limp in my arms

I never told her I loved her one last time

I didn't get a chance to say goodbye

I'm never seeing her again

She'll be taken away and then she's going to be buried

I'll never hear her voice, her laugh, her anything again

That realization breaks me

I start sobbing hysterically

"I love you Joanne. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I miss you so much already"

I don't know what I'm going to do

I can't live without her

I feel so lost

But before I give up completely there's one more thing I have to do

-----------

I stay with her for a few hours

I can't let her go

I just want to die and be with her

But I can't

Not yet

"I'll be back baby", I whisper to her, kissing her forehead

Laying her back in the bed I grab the knife and leave the apartment

I follow the gps on my phone

I know where he is and I'm driving to him

I called a close friend of mine, a cop, and asked him to find him for me

My friend asked questions but I didn't answer

He doesn't need to get in trouble

He found out where he's is staying

Some dump hotel for the scum lowlife he is

I get to the hotel and out of the car, just as he's leaving

Perfect luck right?

I follow him

Idiot doesn't even look behind him

Walking faster I get closer to him

He turns the corner

When I get around it, he's standing in the middle of the sidewalk, his back to me

"Do you fucking need something?", he snaps

"You killed her", I say trying not to cry

He turns to me, "You have to be more specific. I killed lots of hers"

Bastard

I step closer to him

"Who are you?", he asks

"You know who I am", I snarl

He looks closer at me and recognition filles his eyes

"You're that idol. The bastard that kept Joanne from me. You took her from me."

"She left you after you almost killed her. She was already far from you when she met me. She loved me and I love her. I protected her from you", I shout

"Yeah well you didn't do a good job did you? Because I found her. And she had to pay for leaving. She knew that if she ever left I would find her and kill her. And I see you have her blood on you.", he smirks

Rage is boiling in my blood

"And now you have to die for killing the love of my life"

He laughs

He actually laughs

"What are you going to do? You're just an idol. You have too much to lose"

He couldn't be more wrong

"No I don't. She was everything and now she's gone. I have nothing to lose", I shout

Then I move closer and punch him right in the middle of his face

His head snaps back and he stumbles backward

I don't give him a chance to recover punching him in the side of his face, his body, then kicking his legs out from under him

He crumples to the ground

I hover over him, punching him in the face over and over, my rage out of control

But I don't care

He killed her

He killed Joanne

My baby

My everything

My world

And I don't care about any thing anymore

He's yelling and trying to fight back

He punches my jaw hard, knocking me off him

He gets up immediately and starts running

I shoot up, chasing him

He had a few seconds head start but I'm faster

I get to him, grab the back of his jacket and swing him into the wall of a building face first

Taking out the knife, I turn him over and stab him in the chest

He screams as blood runs down his shirt

I pull the knife out

Then drive it in again

He falls to the floor, on his hands and knees

I don't give a fuck

Kicking him in the face causes him to fly on his back

Walking over to him, I hear him begging me

"Don't kill me. Please don't kill me"

"You killed her! Did you listen to her when she begged you not to kill her!", I scream

"I'm sorry! Ok I'm sorry"

He's sorry?

Is he fucking kidding?

He took the only girl I ever loved

He took my future away, my reason for everything

I'm nothing without her

"Not good enough", I spit, then plunge the knife in his stomach

Lifting the knife out, I stab his side

"How do you like it? How do you like being stabbed like you did to her!", I scream

There's blood everywhere but I don't care

He gurgles while breathing

I keep stabbing over and over and over

Rage just takes over

And I let it

I keep seeing her laying in the bed and it's killing me

By the time I stop, he's already dead and I'm sobbing

Not for him though

For her

Joanne

I strangely don't care that I killed him

Maybe I will later but I doubt it

He murdered Joanne

Her murdered the love of my life

I could never care about him

I know I'll be arrested

I'll be sent to prison

I don't care

I'm already in prison

I have to be here without her

Nothing worse can be done to me

------------

I unlock the door to the dorm

"Jungkook? Is that you?", Jimin asks walking to the hall

"Where did you go-", He questions as he turns on the light

He looks at me and screams

"Jungkook what happened? Oh my god are you hurt? NAMJOON, come here!"

"What Jimin?", Namjoon sighs coming into the hall

His eyes widen in shock when he sees me

"Jungkook what the fuck happened?", he screams, "Whose blood is that? Is it yours?"

I shake my head

"Why is everyone scre-", Yoongi complains but stops mid- sentence "Jungkook are you hurt?", he yells

I shake my head

"Why are you holding a knife? Why is there blood on the knife?", Jimin shrieks

"What knife? What happened?", Jin asks walking in with Hobi and Tae

They take one look at me and start yelling with everyone else

There's too much yelling

I can't deal with it

"Shut up. Everyone shut up", Namjoon orders

He looks at me, "Jungkook what happened?"

"He...he killed her. So I killed him"

"WHAT?", Tae screeches

"Jacob. He found Joanne. That's why I ran from practice. But when I got home...she was already dead"

"Oh my god", Hobi cries

"There's so much blood. He...he beat her. Then he stabbed her over and over in her chest and stomach. He left her on the bed", I whisper, tears rolling down my face

"The blood is hers?", Yoongi asks looking as pale as a ghost

I nod, "Most of it. On my shirt and pants. I...I held her for a long time. I couldn't let go"

"I'm so sorry Jungkook", Tae says gently, "But what do you mean most of the blood is hers?"

"Some of it is his"

"Jungkook", Namjoon says slowly, "What did you do?"

"I found him. I followed him. And I killed him. I stabbed him like he stabbed her"

"Oh my god", Hobi gasps

"Is that the knife you used?", Jin asks

I nod

"What are we going to do?", Jimin asks desperately

"I don't know. Let me think.", Namjoon replies shakily

"There's nothing to do. I killed him. I'm going to prison"

"You can't", Yoongi yells

"I don't care. My life was over the second she died. I'm living in hell. Prison doesn't scare me"

"Jungkook", Hobi says

"I just came to tell you what happened. I don't need help. I don't want you involved. If the cops question you tell them what I'm telling you. Tell them I was here. Don't lie, don't deny it, don't hide it", I say

"But-"

"I'm going now. I'm going back to her, to stay with her a little more before I call the cops. Just leave me alone. I know what I did and I don't care that I killed him. I just want to be with her a little more before they take her from me"

"Jungkook-", Jimin starts

"Goodbye", I answer then turn and walk out of the dorm

-----------

Walking back into the bedroom makes me feel like I'm dying

She's still there where I left her

I lay next to her and put my arm around her, holding her to me

"I killed him baby. I found him and I stabbed him. He's dead. He'll never hurt anyone again. He'll never hurt you again."

I know I have to call the police

I will soon

I want to stay with her just a little more

Before her funeral

Before I'm arrested

Before I'm sent to prison

I just want to be Jungkook and Joanne for a little longer

"I love you", I whisper to her

I close my eyes as the tears take over

#jeon jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #bts fanfic

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weadoregaga · 1 year ago

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The Bad Romance video is iconic even to this Day.

#lady gaga #mother monster #little monsters #gaga #queen gaga #joanne world tour #littlemonster4life #queen #love #bad romance #the fame era

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joanne-the-mothersaurus · 1 year ago

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Read my story! It's pretty good, I promise. I try to update every week.

Mostly Inaccurate Quotes from the story (mild spoilers):

Veloci: I like my humans like I like my coffee. Moynihan: And how's that... Veloci: Roasted, ground, boiled, and cold. Moynihan: Ah.

Rodger looking at Rexy: Hey Max, maybe she's cougar. Max: STFU Rexy: GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS

Caruso *ogling some cute girls AND a cute guy tour guide* Girls make fun of Buzz Also Caruso: NOW SEE HERE, YOU TRAGICALLY UNFASHIONABLE BITCHES

Victor Veloci: Dr. Wu! It's so good to see you. Would you care to join me for dinner? Henry Wu:...I'm not the dinner, am I? Veloci: Whatever gave you that idea?

Veloci: Hey Masrani, it would look really sick if you got in that helicopter and saved us all. Do it for the gram.

Owen Grady: *random primate noises* Blue: Hey Dad, you ever considered maybe speaking raptor for once? Joanne: Sorry dear, he's not that smart. Blue: WHATTHEFUU------

(Maybe) Blue muttering: Overgrown chew toy... Bumpy:....bitch

#dino squad goes to Jurassic world and shit happens #victor veloci may or may not threaten to eat people #victor veloci may or may not actually eat people #victor veloci #joanne moynihan #dino squad #no I'm probably not going to make blue human or owen grady a raptor #ms moynihan is a total mom to all her students #potential for jurassic world/park characters to have a few existential crises #if there are any artists out there that want to help me illustrate a few particular scenes i will think you are the coolest person ever #raptors are like owen's kids #veloci and moynihan are the embodiment of the My ex still misses me...BUT THEIR AIM IS GETTING BETTER joke #camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous kids have sooooo much plot armor #possible scene of veloci bumming it in his penthouse after the island is evacuated. like he's back home #zara's death was unfair #jurassic world #jurassic park #my favorite shapeshifting immortal exes #that one dream scene in jurassic park 3 with the talking raptor

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justarandomgirly · 2 years ago

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#my gifs #lady gaga #dance #dancing #dancing in circles #joanne world tour

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lenbryant · 1 year ago

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(Long Post, Sorry) Hitting Theater Hard: The Loss of Subscribers Who Went to Everything

The subscription model, in which theatergoers buy a season’s worth of shows at a time, had long been waning, but it fell off a cliff during the pandemic.

As a group of stagehands assembled train cars for the set of “Murder on the Orient Express,” Ken Martin looked grimly at his email. His first year as artistic director at the Clarence Brown Theater in Knoxville, Tenn., was coming to an end, and the theater had missed its income goals by several hundred thousand dollars, largely because it had lost about half its subscribers since the start of the pandemic.

“I’ve already had to tear up one show, because of a combination of cost and I don’t think it’s going to sell,” he said. “I’m in the same boat as a lot of theater companies: How do I get the audience back, and once I get them in the door, how do I keep them for the next show?”

The nonprofit theater world’s industrywide crisis, which has led to closings, layoffs and a reduction in the number of shows being staged, is being exacerbated by a steep drop in the number of people who buy theater subscriptions, in which they pay upfront to see most or all of a season’s shows. The once-lucrative subscription model had been waning for years, but it has fallen off a cliff since the pandemic struck.

It is happening across the nation. Seattle’s 5th Avenue Theater had 13,566 subscribers last season, down from 19,770 before the pandemic. In Atlanta, the Alliance Theater ended last season with 3,208, down from a prepandemic 5,086, while Northlight Theater, in Skokie, Ill., is at about 3,200, down from 5,700.

Theaters are losing people like Joanne Guerriero, 61, who dropped her subscription to Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn, N.J., after realizing she only liked some of the productions there, and would rather be more selective about when and where she saw shows.

“We haven’t missed it,” she said, “which is unfortunate, I suppose, for them.”

Many artistic leaders believe the change is permanent.

“The strategic conversation is no longer ‘What version of a membership brochure is going to bring in more members,’ but how do we replace that revenue, and replenish the relationship with audiences,” said Jeremy Blocker, the executive director of New York Theater Workshop, an Off Broadway nonprofit that has seen its average number of members (its term for subscribers) drop by 50 percent since before the pandemic.

Why do subscribers matter?

“No. 1, it reduces your cost of marketing hugely — you’re selling three or five tickets for the cost of one,” said Michael M. Kaiser, the chairman of the DeVos Institute of Arts Management at the University of Maryland. “No. 2, you get the cash up front, which helps fund the rehearsal period and the producing period. And No. 3, subscriptions give you artistic flexibility — if people are willing to buy all the shows, some subset of the total can be less familiar and more challenging, but if you don’t have subscribers, every production is sold on its own merits, and that makes taking artistic risk much more difficult.”

There’s also a strong connection between subscriptions and contributions. “Most donors are subscribers,” said Maggie Mancinelli-Cahill, the producing artistic director of Capital Repertory Theater in Albany, N.Y., “so there’s a cycle here.”

Theaters are simultaneously trying to retain — or reclaim — subscribers, and also reduce their dependence on them. Many are experimenting with ways to make subscriptions more flexible, or more attractive, but also seeing an upside in the need to find new patrons.

Programming is clearly on the mind of lapsed subscribers around the country. Even as subscriptions have fallen sharply at regional nonprofits whose mission is to develop new voices and present noncommercial work, they have remained steadier at venues that present touring Broadway shows with highly recognizable titles.

“There’s so much going on with the ‘ought-to-see-this-because-you’re-going-to-be-taught-a-lesson’ stuff, and I’m OK with that, but part of me thinks we’re going a little overboard, and I need to have some fun,” said Melissa Ortuno, 61, of Queens. She describes herself as a frequent theatergoer — she has already seen 17 shows this year — but finds herself now preferring to purchase tickets for individual shows, rather than subscriptions. “I want to take a shot, but I don’t want to be dictated to. And this way I can buy what I want.”

But there are other reasons subscribers have stepped away, including age. “We’re all old, that’s the problem,” said Happy Shipley, 77, of Erwinna, Pa., who decided to renew her subscription at the Bucks County Playhouse, but sees others making a different choice. “Many of them don’t stay up late anymore; they’re anxious about parking, walking, crime, public transportation, increased need of restrooms, you name it.”

Arts administrators say that many people who were previously frequent theatergoers remain fans of the art form, but now attend less frequently, a phenomenon confirmed in interviews with supersubscribers — culture vultures who had multiple subscriptions — who say they are scaling back.

Lisa-Karyn Davidoff, 63, of Manhattan, subscribed to 10 theaters before the pandemic; now she is far more choosy, citing a combination of health concerns and reassessed priorities. “If there’s a great cast or something I can’t miss,” she said, “I will go.” Rena Tobey, a 64-year-old New Yorker, had at least 12 theater subscriptions before the pandemic, and now has none, citing an ongoing concern about catching Covid in crowds, a new appreciation for television and streaming, and a sense that theaters are programming shows for people other than her. “For many years, I’ve pushed my boundaries, and I’m just at a point where I don’t want to do it anymore.”

And Jeanne Ryan Wolfson, a 67-year-old from Rockville, Md., who had four performing arts subscriptions prepandemic, is just finding she likes an à la carte approach to ticket purchasing; she kept two of her previous subscriptions, dropped two, and added a new one. “I was paying a lot of money for the subscriptions, and some of the productions within those packages were a bit disappointing or might not have the wow factor I was looking for,” she said. “I think what I want to do is pick and choose.”

Martin said the Knoxville theater’s staff has spent much of the summer discussing the drop in subscriber numbers — the theater had about 3,000 before the pandemic, but 1,500 last season — and hired a marketing firm to study the situation.

Then comes “Kinky Boots,” the kind of uplifting musical comedy many of today’s audiences seem to want. (“Kinky Boots,” with a plot that involves drag queens, also makes a statement for a theater in Tennessee, where lawmakers have attempted to restrict drag shows.) There will be more adventurous productions, but in a smaller theater: “The Moors” by Jen Silverman, and “Anon(ymous)” by Naomi Iizuka.

But selling tickets show by show, instead of as a package, is challenging and expensive.

“It takes three times as much money, time and effort to bring in someone new,” said Tom Cervone, the theater’s managing director. He said the theater is trying everything it can — print advertising, public radio sponsorships, social media posts, plus appearances at local street fairs and festivals where the theater’s staff will hand out brochures and swag (branded train whistles to promote “Murder on the Orient Express,” for example) while trying to persuade passers-by to come see a show.

The theater, which is on the flagship campus of the University of Tennessee, is less dependent than some on ticket revenue, because, like a number of other regional nonprofits, it is affiliated with a university that subsidizes its operations. Still, the money it earns from ticket sales is essential to balancing the budget.

“It’s been scary some days,” Cervone said, “like, where is everybody?”

Michael Paulson is the theater reporter. He previously covered religion, and was part of the Boston Globe team whose coverage of clergy sexual abuse in the Catholic Church won the Pulitzer Prize for Public Service. More about Michael Paulson

#refrigerator magnet #for educational purposes only #theater #theatre #subscription model #stage #drama #demise of the american theater

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