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burning-sol · 1 month ago

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You know what? I realise why the Sinsmas episode is pissing me off so much, it's because it's juggling so many different ideas that it doesn't spend enough time committed to a single one. Let me just break it down the way I see it...

The first idea we're introduced to is one about Stolas' depression but then when he sits down with Blitz we're introduced to the idea of Stolas' poverty.

The previous ideas are what you think that the episode might focus on until you get hit with the Octavia B-Plot. Okay! A-Plot is about depression and poverty, B-Plot is about Stolas not being able to contact Octavia... (I might be using those terms incorrectly, but you get the idea,)

But THEN you get Sinsmas introduced which is about the idea of indulging in your sins, which is shown to be important to the audience because it's expressed in dialogue, right? Wait, no, it's about Stolas's depression/poverty, okay then....

But THEN you cut to the office and we get a Millie and Moxxie bonding scene, so you think, "wait, is there going to be another DIFFERENT plotline introduced into this episode about their relationship??" AND YOU GET MORE ABOUT SINSMAS, multiple shots about the holiday and the idea of indulging in your sins!! So wait, the idea of Sinsmas IS an individual idea from the depression/poverty point? Or isn't it??

Stolas sobs on the phone, there's a very obvious depression/poverty breakdown, but then we get MORE NEW SHIT introduced because it's about Stolas' cheating. And I understand that that's meant to tie into Octavia's B-plot, but there's a subtle difference between that and THIS that adds another layer of shit on top (elaborated on later).

Which, BTW, I just wanna point out how this idea is contradictory to the Sinsmas idea since CHEATING is about INDULGING in LUST - as is established in your PREVIOUS. IMPORTANT. SEASON ONE FINALE... So WHY would you make a character shame a sin that's meant to be in the process of being celebrated which confuses the Sinsmas idea and was also the CORE of the Stolitz will-they-won't-they before now?? If it was to trigger Stolas' breakdown you already HAD the poverty story beat, this is just needless and confusing redundancy??

So then we actually get to Octavia and we get a scene about the idea of Stolas and Octavia not being able to get in contact with each other - the B-Plot - and followed by her introspective song and the discovery of Stolas' pills. And now we suddenly feel like we're back to where we were MEANT to be, with the Octavia B-Plot taking a pause to cut back to the Depression A-Plot. This builds up tension as we naturally feel the two characters drawn together.

And theeeen it cuts to the I.M.Ps and I'm banging my head against the wall because you're like, "Oh! The Millie and Moxxie relationship idea! This is going to be about them!"

But then OH MY GOD a NEW idea is introduced about Blitz wanting a FAMILY WITH STOLAS. I want to shoot someone because the cheating was a set up for Blitz to fantasise about wanting a family??? Is this meant to be a parallel to episode 1??? Am I meant to feel like Blitz has developed as a character?? In an episode that has been about every character OTHER than Blitz???

And then it's meant to be likeee like about Millie's pregnancy because she wants to kill the family instead of leaving them be, but it's also about Moxxie's relationship with her, but it's ALSO about being "demon enough" (WHATEVER THAT IS, IT'S NEVER ELABORATED ON), but it's also ALSO about Sinsmas.

Okay! Okay, back to the REAL plot except- Wait, Octavia walked in??? Wait, so this plot is now about Blitz wanting a family and he's going to bond with Octavia?? No! NO because they don't have any emotional connection and so there is no reason for this scene to exist if either way Blitz was going to know where Stolas went and Octavia was going to end up there as well anyways.

And can you tell I'm tired of writing at this point? Cus I'm losing my mind. FINALLY the A-plot and B-plot that should have been the center of the episode all along gets a fuck ton of screentime and it's beautiful and it's the peak of the episode.

And theeen it's back to Millie and you think, "Okay, so a big part of the pregnancy plot is clearly meant to be about Millie and Moxxie's relationship based on all the scenes we've gotten between them! That means that Millie and Moxxie are going to have some sort of important dialogue-" And then she WALKS OUT on him and she has her emotional moment with her sister! Which isn't a bad thing but need I remind you she isn't even in the center a FULL LENGTH episode, she's from a SHORT... WHY would you NOT integrate Sallie into a proper episode if she's going to be key to a future INCREDIBLY important plotline??

The episode ends with Blitz and Stolas and the credits roll blah blah blah...

This post is basically expands on some of the points of my post about my first impressions, because I just wanted to give a run down of the structure properly so you can understand why this episode is making me feel like I'm losing it. And I get it, if you put in the effort you can get an idea of how all the ideas were meant to tie together... But it doesn't! It's badly written! It makes me want to rip my hair out!

Ideas are established and then sit there uncomfortably without resolutions to them! Like even the shit. That was meant to be the main shit. The poverty and depression stuff? NO conclusion. Stolas says, "you don't have to refer to me as your highness" I guess?? But like, nothing to show him settling in with everyone else in the celebration to show he's like. Poor? And okay with it? By partaking in the holiday of those that are meant to be "beneath" him? No mention of his medication???

Just!! Okay. To understand the way shit in the writing could have been better, let me list some ways you could change the episode to be more coherent or cut down on redundancy if my points have so far not landed.

Establish Sallie towards the BEGINNING of the episode and her dynamic with Millie, and show how that compares to her relationship with Moxxie, and show WHY she would call Sally instead of talking with Moxxie first. If you're going to make the episode about family btw, this would be the point where Millie could bring up HER family and how much she values them or something in order to establish that as being important. Also, use this to explore what Millie and Moxxie's feelings on having a baby WOULD be, so that if there's conflict there then you have more understanding of why Millie made the decision she did.

Use the actual environment in the background of the montage to show the passage of time instead of it suddenly being Sinsmas. Have demons setting up holiday decorations, in the stores put up discount signs about a "Sinsmas sale!" This makes the story flow more naturally, as well as adds characterisation and makes Stolas' depression more real as he's shown to be so absorbed in his own world he doesn't even realise it's the holiday until Blitz brings it up.

Octavia's phone and the device she listens to music on is the same (I checked S1E2 to confirm it), which causes a sloppy writing issue. Like. If the episode is meant to show Stella is controlling and it's not Octavia's choice not to get in contact with Stolas, then you need to explain why she hasn't called him despite having access to her phone when Stella isn't around. If it were me, I would have had Stella lock it in a drawer that Octavia picks the lock on so she can listen to her music. THEN you can keep the original scene, OR (this is what I would have done) have her check her phone logs so you can see not only how many times Stolas has called but how much time has passed. Maybe this could also be used as another reason to drive her towards the closet as she hides from Stella and Andrealphus. Maybe this could be used as an interesting metaphor about her desire to leave but she doesn't know what she's going to do once she picks the lock on the door... Like how she could call her Dad now that she has her phone but she doesn't know what she'll do when she does... Something like that.

DON'T have Blitz and Via meet up if they're not going to interact. That entire scene is fucking pointless as is and I hate it. Either dedicate a PROPER amount of time and dialogue into making Blitz want to and try to connect with Via, or have them not talk at all. Cut out the whole thing about Blitz wanting a family with Stolas honestly, it's just not well explored enough.

Again with the sloppy writing, the gang did NOT need to stumble into a room of weapons to have weapons. That's pointless. They're assassins, they've been established to bring a stash of weapons with them to fights before. I can think of something much funnier where Moxxie is surprised by Loona's transformation and there's a joke made about her being a noble steed and Moxxie pulls out a sword only for Millie to be like, "Why did you bring that?" And Moxxie says something about how it's a posh weapon cus that's his thing. OR you could have some badass impromptu weapons the gang makes from the ice or they use Sinsmas decorations scattered around. IDK.

Already made my point about Stolas and the poverty idea. Show him settling in with the others during the celebration and him opening up to the idea that he's no longer rich or well respected. The "you don't have to refer to me as your highness" would work if the text bothered to show his mental state properly, instead of him just looking depressed and like he kind of hates everyone there.

Have Blitz PLEASE react to Stolas' depression. Like. Acknowledge it. And share his feelings about it. AND GIVE STOLAS HIS MEDICATION FFS he clearly has clinical depression!! Blitz is sooo head empty in this episode, PLEASE give him more internal thoughts other than :) I'm holding my head in my hands.

And I'm so tired of writing at this point I'm going to stop it there but I hope that was thorough enough to get across my points. And if not then I guess that speaks to how loopy this episode made me that I can't even articulate myself 100% because dear god.

#📚 my posts #📌 thoughts #helluva boss critical #<- im tagging this post as critical of hb because it is.#but i realise how funny that is considering a lot of people in the tag hate stolitz and they hate stolas even though im pro both of those #i also do think stella should be written better but i dont fucking stand by u guys who think that means redeeming her #im a stella hater. but i think she deserves to not be a whiny incompetent woman. you know? make her a complex villain.#anyways BASICALLY i like the episode when its about octavia and stolas' depression n stuff but i hate everything else.#it just drags down the episode and i dont feel satisfied by the end of it.#im busy trying to guess what the point of the episode is even up to the halfway point. thats bad. REALLY bad.#and viv CAN write good episodes because look at ozzie's. that's brilliant and coherent and the drama is so good.#but this episode is like.. jfc girl did someone read your script? did someone doublecheck the storyboards??? who let this ep thru unfinishe

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wanderingmoonmen · 4 months ago

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Hi! I just wanted to come here and gush about how much I love your half doomed and semi sweet series real quick! I binged it all in two days and you guys have done such a good work on it. I honestly think the first installment is probably one of my favorite pieces of fanfic ever just due to how great the mix of character interaction and action is within the fic. I also just adore how Mary is handled with James and how he realizes that Mary wouldn’t say a lot of the stuff his hallucinations are saying but also it’s still overwhelming and hurts despite this! I’ve also been enjoying the lot more day to day ness of the sequel fic too, where issues still come up but it’s also not, running from monsters all the time (unless those monsters are silent hill remnants/bad thoughts, sorry James!).

I don’t know if it’s ever detailed anywhere, but what exactly inspired you to write the sequel fic if you don’t mind me asking?

aaaaa this has been sitting in my inbox for a bit because I saw the nice words and it makes me melt into a puddle and I want to take time to properly answer your question. Thank you ❤️

I ended up writing way too much in my answer so the tldr; I have way too many thoughts and ideas and with @fly-rye 's encouragement and participation we're now in a place where there's a whole timeline and already drafted events still out there to do.

My ramblings and more detailed explanation under the cut

I think in the preface to Promise, or somewhere, I've said that literally all of this started as a joke. I'm also going to keep to my guns of coming up with it back in 2018 (albeit a joke that I kept to myself lmao). I had sort of kept my 'joke' meeting in some sort of filing cabinet in my mind. And honestly if @fly-rye wasn't a super cool and amazing friend and didn't indulge my bullshit we wouldn't be here (also I'm pretty sure that DBD audio of Leon sounding very......... y'know affected it too. I also started a playthrough of RE4 on Oculus at the same time. Also also this literally started I swear a couple months before remakes were formally announced.) ANYWAY this isn't an answer to your question, I just like rambling.

Now that sort of plays into what inspired the sequel, I think I am a 'too many thoughts head full' type of person and just have too much to say sometimes (and perhaps also too much imagination). I also like trying to explain things so the in-fiction lore makes sense (like... extensively thinking about how to actually for real explain how James got to Spain or What Is The Scientific Explanation For Silent Hill etc etc. I just like to make things Work in my head, idk how to explain it).

When Promise turned into a project, there was more serious thought into how their relationship worked and how to explain Leon's character changes in future media. Then it was a thought of 'how could things be better for the both of them?' Or 'what if they were allowed to heal and grow as people' and whatever else that can be narratively satisfying about seeing hurt people finding each other and helping each other.

Then that turns into 'let's put that thing into a situation.'

Which, of course, there are A Lot Of Situations considering Leon has... 4 movies and 1 game he's in after RE4.

There's also the interest of exploring the mechanics of Silent Hill and exploring how SH3/SH4 can become entangled with the mess.

There's then the flip side of the domestic life and living as """""normal"""""" people.

So to fill the gaps between Situations we've brainstormed a Lot of timeline stuff and certain relationship beats that should occur (yknow like their gay wedding, spoilers). I'm also trying to show how James integrates with the rest of the RE crew and with Harry and Heather.

So... Basically I've thought... a lot about how to make their ship and this universe integrate into all the canon events and have some random drafts for it (of course much credit goes to @fly-rye to a) indulging me b) getting sucked into this c) being super supportive d) brainstorming the Situations with me) because there's just so much potential!!

Now, this is kinda where I get stuck and why there hasn't been more posted, if you're wondering

I like to be thorough and in my head I think I need to explain and show character development in detail because, again, in my head, I think it'll then be viewed as 'bad' or idk, 'not well written' or 'not making sense' (as if any of this makes sense). So I feel like I need to show how these relationships develop so it's more convincing or whatever. I think about how some media is panned or criticized for bad relationship writing, ie 'we've been best friends for 10 years and he really helped me out, right bob?" Like who says that.

So in starting PE I wanted to try and thoroughly and logically explain how we get to the current point.

Obviously this is also literally fanfic and [insert meme here] it's my AU and I can do what I want [just tell you This Is How It Is]

But... I'm not great at writing fluff or character interaction stuff just for the sole purpose of development. I thrive on hurt/comfort and angst stuff (if that wasn't obvious) whereas trying to come up with story beats for a beach trip or something is much more difficult for me. So I've struggled to move forward because it's just not my forte and it takes practice and patience...

Unfortunately, I can be rather impatient.

It's really annoying when you're trying to be thorough! So even when I've got a plan, I just get annoyed with my writing because I just wanna get to the good stuff!!! Why can't I write this out faster!!!! I need to beam my thoughts into a document!!!

I keep on feeling like I'm making empty promises, but I do really wanna keep writing and posting. I am trying and I think about sitting down and writing a lot, but between all those other hangups and not having time, I just haven't.

I know a lot of this isn't exactly what you asked, but I hope it answers your question and then some. Thank you again for reaching out it means a lot to hear from readers!!!

#ramblings #kennderland #jumpscare of john f kennedy tag coming up while writing that jfc #James Sunderland x Leon S Kennedy #my fic #also re: having too much imagination... im an only child so that was my entertainment growing up lol #a lot of me getting in my own way is just who i am as a person but also comes from previous experiences and A Person being an asshole #also bad writing advice from like... high school that just is so ingrained i have to conciously try and not do it or convince myself its ok

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