#jet: ...dope let's do this

[evilkitten3]

atla crack au where zuko and azula burn the palace down as kids (like 12 and 10, respectively, pre-banishment but post-grandpacide), run away to avoid consequences, and somehow end up "discreetly" living in the abandoned fire nation ship in the south pole ("discreetly" is a word which here means "all the adults know they're there bc they have massive arguments every other day, and when hakoda's nearby he "drops" things that might be useful")

ozai ends up blaming the palace fire on iroh and banishes him. he must capture the children to regain his honor (translator's note: this is adult speak for "get their asses back here so i can ground them for the rest of their lives")

[mzcain27]

Gods above it is SO SLOW

[fryingpan1234567]

canonically Jason and Tim have motorcycles, right? and B and Duke too but the other two are more well known I think

ANYWAYS what if everyone in the batfam had one tho? because. the potential.

Dick takes his off of roofs sometimes, but it’s built for it. before all his modifications, it was just a blue and black chrome Yamaha sports bike, nothing special. he added a Nightwing sticker on each side, a bunch of weapons (mostly electricity based), grappling hooks, Nightwing things. there’s even a sidecar for Haley.

Babs (before the wheelchair days) had a purple and yellow one that matched her suit perfectly. it sort of meant she couldn’t use it during the day, but occasionally she rode it to work with extensive concealing of the random dangerous gadgets. hers was also a Yamaha (same model ^^)

Jason canonically has a black shapeshifting one like some maccadams shit but it’s fine— it’s loud as shit, so he doesn’t really use it for patrol, but he loves it during the day. because it’s just black, it’s pretty easy to take it out for completely non-suspicious speeding law breaking joyrides. no harm done!

Cass has a jet black Ninja, and her reputation on the streets is about the same as the nightfury’s at the beginning of the first httyd. dark, deadly, and it’s even quiet in Gotham’s busy streets. watch your back for her.

Tim’s got the BATCYCLE it’s CANON. it’s also canon that it’s got a liquid-cooling engine and a Robin-themed paint job, but fuck that, I say it’s dark red and electric and he rides it to work. so sometimes (most of the time) he pulls up with ruffled clothes and helmet hair, which Conner nearly fainted at the first time he saw it, but we don’t talk about that. he doesn’t use it for patrol because Kon said he’d carry him everywhere if Tim gave him rides in exchange. on the bike. he has said on more than one occasion “wear the helmet, ride a biker” and Tim punches him really hard

Steph’s bike is purple, and the wheels do the hover-shift-glowy thing like in Mario Kart (also purple). she’s not scared of you or anyone; she will ride that shit to school and use it on patrol with the hovering and distracting color and everything. fight me.

in canon, Duke’s bike is electric with a bunch of lights and black and yellow and lowkey built like a tank. I kinda like it! I think it’s a fabulous bike for a fabulous man so therefore he gets to keep it I won’t be taking criticism

Damian gets a green and red and black electric Ninja, plus a helmet that he painted with feathers and paw prints n shit. Jon likes the spare, which is just black but has a red mohawk. what more could you want? he could fly everywhere, but he also could just have his badass motorcycle bf drive him everywhere while he wears his dope ass helmet and vibes to whatever 2000s pop shit Damian lets him play. he’s a professional backpack.

did you think I’d stop at the Batkids? sorry imma keep going

I like the idea of Brucie having a black sports bike that’s 90% modifications like in the movie. no one remembers what it was before he took it all apart and added Bat-stuff, but it looks great now! it’s blown up more times than you can count, just because it’s a really good target for rogues.

Kate has one that’s almost exactly the same, except hers is maybe a little closer to what it was originally. she doesn’t quite have all the same stuff Bruce does, but they’re the same vibe!

anyways that’s the vigilante weirdos club, so like it’s expected that they’d all have a dangerous vehicle. slightly less expected— Alfred freaking Pennyworth has a Harley with tall handles and sparkly black paint, but nobody knew that for such a long time because he barely leaves the manor. all the kids lost their minds when they found out. what can I say

anyways some Bat-bike shenanigans that have ensued:

street races between all the Batkids at least once a week, whether that be on patrol or in civvy clothes

Jason obnoxiously revving really loud whenever he sees one of them in the street, on a date, when he’s picking them up from something, just as often as possible. obnoxious revving. old people hate him

cool lesbian aunt Kate picking up kids from school with her badass bike and epic helmet

sometimes Dick will be talking about “his child” or “his baby” and no one’s sure if he’s talking about his dog or his bike

bike-related thirst traps on social media

“race you to the next light”

not a single one of them has left a Gotham speeding law intact even once (not even Alfred, although he won’t admit it)

Wally likes to get Dick to race him on his bike even though he knows he’s going to win

both Jon and Conner have said something along the lines of “I bet I could pick up the bike with you on it” as a show-off attempt, but Damian and Tim love their paint jobs too much to permit them to try

Batfam on bikes❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[illumiiiz]

songs with some of the best guitar intros ever made in my opinion, in no particular order, a comprehensive (& continually updating) list:

Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne); I don’t care how you feel about the rest of the song, the intro fucking slaps and if you deny that you’re lying. to yourself and everyone else.

Smoke on the Water (Deep Purple); literally iconic. the intro reaches a part of my soul no other song does, besides maybe the cinematic cover version by 2wei

I Don’t Wanna Stop (Ozzy Osbourne); I feel like this is probably in a Tom Cruise movie somewhere. self explanatory. I’ve had this song on repeat for two days

Personal Jesus (Depeche Mode); again, SO iconic. if I could inject a song into my veins like drugs it’d be this one

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper (Blue Öyster Cult); maybe I should start keeping track of how many times I say “iconic” in this list. not only the intro, but the instrumental bridges throughout the song, ESPECIALLY the one after verse 2 and the second chorus… 🤌✨

For Whom the Bell Tolls (Metallica); *slaps track name* this bad boy can fit an intro that is SO LONG. and it ALL FUCKS.

Kickstart My Heart (Mötley Crüe); there should be some sort of warning feature installed that doesn’t let you listen to this song if you’re driving bc if you do you WILL get a speeding ticket. altho it does sound better if you’re driving tbh. but watch for cops

Welcome to the Jungle (Guns N’ Roses); see my notes on Crazy Train above

New Divide (LINKIN PARK); ok honestly this one’s a nostalgia trip for me but also just objectively I feel like it goes pretty hard regardless of what scene you were into during the 2010s and how many amvs you watched

Everlong (Foo Fighters); I mean come ON. do I even have to say anything

Panama (Van Halen); sets the hype tone for the rest of the song right away, also this is another one that’s so much better while you’re driving for some reason. whole song fucking slaps too

Whispers in the Dark (Skillet); it’s not right at the beginning like most of these other ones are but just. just give it 20 seconds I promise it’s worth it.

Monster (Skillet); while we’re on the topic. imagine trying to fight the weird kid allegations and then these two songs come on back to back. lol. couldn’t be me..

Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana); ICONIC. changed the game forever and ever.

Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) (Big & Rich); this one’s mostly just here for that drop at the beginning cuz it’s actually pretty dope

The Adults Are Talking (the strokes); I can’t explain how this one makes me feel. but boy does it make me feel

Thank You For The Venom (My chemical romance); LITERALLY SO GOOD. sometimes I’ll listen to this song just to headbang to the intro and then skip the rest

Scotty Doesn’t Know (Lustra); this is embarrassingly near the top of my “songs I recognize within the first 0.1 seconds” list. we don’t need to talk about that tho

Headstrong (Trapt); even if you don’t know the name of this song you would recognize the intro, I’m sure of it

Puppet (Thousand Foot Krutch); this one had 14-15 year old me in a CHOKEHOLD OKAY and it still fucking slaps. I love this band.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl (Jet); fun fact the first time I heard this song was in the movie Flushed Away so now I always associate it with that 💀 but yeah this song bangs

Supremacy (Muse); gosh this whole song is just. like. RIDICULOUSLY good imo, the vocals the strings and drums combo,, the intro part lays the foundation tho. easily one of my favs out there

Iron Man (Black Sabbath); NO SHUT UP BC THE WAY IT SOUNDS LIKE A HEARTBEAT AND BREATHING ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Immigrant Song (Led Zeppelin); see notes for Crazy Train and Welcome to the Jungle

Living Dead Girl (Rob Zombie); gets stuck in my head a lot.

Something In Your Mouth (Nickelback); yes, I listen to them unironically and yes, this song made the list

Square Hammer (Ghost); honestly I listen to this song pretty much solely for the guitar track in it

Let It Happen (Tame Impala); I don’t know what instruments those are at the beginning but one of them sounds like a bass and regardless, the thing slaps so I’m including it bc I want to

link to the spotify playlist! (updated 2/23/24)

[notafragileegg]

Honestly, science is just magic.

All of it.

Like, we fucking managed to make this mythic energy, capable of tearing the skies apart and making sounds as loud as jet engines, just do MILLIONS of calculations a second for us.

Our electronic devices are just harnessing the power of thunder's domesticated cousin. WHICH IS FUCKING DOPE!

Chemistry? HAVE Y'ALL EVER LOOKED AT CHEMISTRY??? The shit chemists do is just sheer magic. "hm yes, let's combine different elements to create A WHOLE NEW ONE"... Like, bro, chemistry is just witchcraft.

Also, cats, or any animal for that matter. You can NOT tell me that all these amazing creatures just exist and we take them for granted???

This little magical floofball just existing?????

[kninedlog]

Here's every current Sonic character IDW or Videogame and my; I've been with sonic the hedgehog since birth, opinion. PART 2

Yes this a part 2 I made another one that I posted before this one. If you haven't seen it you don't need to, but it does cover the main guys. This one goes a little obscure cuz this is mostly comic characters now.

If you want to read the first part check it out HERE and at the bottom of the post. THX 😊 Let's roll!

V+Name= Videogame vr

C+Name= IDW comic vr

Name = just assume I'm talking about both iterations or they only have the one of either.

(mostly jokes under the cut. I'm not taking this seriously. Obviously Spoilers for the IDW Sonic the hedgehog series.)

Tangle: She's cool and funny. Seriously though she's just a more accurate female sonic that Sonic Team was originally trying to go for with blaze but she turned out too serious and by the book so they placed that on Tangle. She handles that title well though. Truly a fun and charismatic girl.

Whisper: She's my favorite out of the new comic cast. I thought it would be Bell but then she came in. Whisper is so cool that she too has an urban legend about her in silver's time. That's enough for me to get hooked. If the future character knows about you and you turn it to be what the rumors say than you instantly take my heart.

Bell: She is interesting. Another reformed Eggman robot, we've seen that before but the fact SHE got Metal to halt and hesitate and also didn't attack her on the spot got me doing some thinking. Some theory crafting when that happened. I want her to have an hour with metal's system and watch she'll probably reform him for just a single issue alone. I want that so bad. She's skilled and dare I say a little scary, considering what she can do if sonic doesn't blow up every egg pawn or badnik he sees and just gives it to her so they can work for the resistance. Also happy that's she's technically tails' assist and lives with him, that's cute.

Jewel: She's so cute! I love her! She's so shiny and tiny and jumpy and whiney, and it's a fresh air to have a character thinking about common sense.

CTHE DEADLY SIX: They were cool for the short time they were there. I mean yeah they were there, what they could do with the emeralds was fascinating along with the arc they appered in. They were serious threats! Yet it was sort sweeped aside for Zavok and I kinda didn't like that. I wanted to see more of the problems the Six could've caused. Master Zik got the Babylon rouges stuck, that was shocking. The fight between zor, Silver and whisper was cool. Silver demolishing Zor's mechanical owl and then doing the cruelest thing he's ever done and leaving him for dead. That was cold. Cream vs Zeena was heart wrenching cuz I could already see the outcome despite the victory. Those were fun. The fights between Amy and tails vs Zomom and Espio vs Zazz they were lack luster to me.

CTHE DEADLY SIX: I could make a YouTube video about I feel about these six. It's been years since the game came out when they debuted so I have a lot of words that I can fit in this post alone. Take what I said from the comic iterations of them and you'll guess how I feel.

Jet: I feel the same about him in both vr's of himself. He's cool, he's loyal. And he's a jackass towards sonic. All the best character traits a sonic character could ever have.

Wave: She barely said anything in the comic so I'll have to go by games more. However, badsed on body poses and facial expressions alone you can tell that she's roughly the same character albeit a bit more laid back than her video game self. Although, the situation we saw the Babylon Rouges in was a bit unfair for their characters to suddenly be shown, so I'd just have to hope to see them again to form a better opinion. Other than all that, she's cool.

Storm: Haha big dumb funny guy haha.

Lanolin: OOHH I have a lot to say about Lanolin! She's dope. Really dope. I like her wispon and her choice of wisp. That's so flipping clever! I've been seeing (mostly hearing through the sonic content people I watch on YouTube) that she reminds everyone of Sally Acron too much and to that I say politely to Shut Up!

[[Small Tanget — OMG, not everyone is Sally. Amy gets development, she's Sally. Whisper gets some comic time and importance, she's Sally. I miss her too, honestly. Truly I do. But you gotta understand that she's not coming back. Sure people can have a look at any of them and say she's Sally Inspired or has made changes in honor of Sally but don't say they ARE her. Cuz their not. Their clearly not. There's enough different in many things to separate the two. Is someone where to redraw Sally over any of them (which I bet some people have tried to do, idk, I haven't been to that dark side of the fandom in forever and I refuse to go back) I bet it's gonna look really out of place. Not because you KNOW she's not supposed to be there but becuase how big of those differences are.]]]

Lanolin is great. She's a kick ass leader for the new Diamond cutters and I can't wait to see more of her. She's dope. It's also really cool how she's been developing in the background. I've noticed that and have been telling myself since the metal virus, "she's gonna be important someday. A design doesn't stay this consistent in the sonic verse without reason"

Dr Starline: AHH I love him! He's so cool and swauve and interesting. Yet his downfall was sad and we all saw it coming but without him we wouldn't have gotten the most bone chilling and coolest Eggman art. His character development from a collected and impressionable admirer, to a broken and disheveled fanatic deadset on impressing and topping the Eggman at his own game was on some anime levels type of writing. I hope they keep this up in the comic with any new villains cause Starline set an expectation for all new villains to try and climb over.

Surge: okay 2 things. 1 - my phone was giving me a hard time writing her name as it kept auto correcting or my fingers kept typing scourge at first. I don't know what that says about me but that's a thing. And 2 - The Tenrec is awesome. She had the fandom that was reading the comic in a chokehold once she was introduced. Setting the bar for antiheros in the sonic universe; that aren't robotic, for what they should be like in the future. Her and Kit in the same room reigns over the fight and causes utter destruction. Give them time and they'll create it to levels of Chaos flooding all of station square and more. Surge herself though is intriguing, for the last speed "villain" sonic has ever faced seriously was scourge in the comics and shadow in the games. Her means for acting and being the way she is with the tourtre Starline put her and Kitsunami through all for the sake of one flipping person. I'd be just as mad. Honestly, and I don't think my anger would ever go away. One of the best Sonic clones in a long time.

Kitsunami: Everytime I re-read imposter syndrome and the issues he was in I wanna cry. The personality of Kit is the exact opposite of his partner Surge and everytime they interacted healthily it was deep cuts of emotions for me. They both display the huge dramatized different reactions to trauma. Kitsunami's hit harder for me than Surge as I tend to people please more then get angry and lash out. With Kits whole deal being surge and nothing but her, I got scared for him when he was saved and Surge had her little fake out death. It scared the hell out of me, because what else was he supposed to do but bow down and fawn to the next thing closest to her. I'm sure if her death was real and Sonic and Tails took him in, he would soon grow and become his own person but his built in obsession for the tenrec or anything closest to her when she's not there as a character trait hurts but is amazing writing wise nonetheless.

Clutch: Clutch the Opossum is really cool. So cool to the point where I hope and pray so much that he comes back. Becuase I can see him being a legitimate threat. He too is an issue to both sonic and co and Eggman as he hotwires badniks to do is bidding with ease, apparently. So add that, with the extension of he's a composed business type of guy, with a face so sinister that mobsters would probably step down to him if he were to crack a deal, a master of deception feigning unconsciousness when possible and having a taste for the high quality of things. What's stopping him from collecting the emeralds himself. Or already/always having one in his possession. He's more a villain made to combat rouge or the Chaotix more than sonic and his gaggle of close friends, but I'm curious to see more of him.

Mimic: He's still out there. That's all I have to say. If you've read the Tangle and Whisper spin off and you read the bad guys spin off then you know who Mimic is, and know that he's still out there with the capabilities of being a SERIOUS problem all because of his simple ability of shape shifting.

- PART 1 - Here

- PART 2 - You're here!

[mellon1998]

Crown of Candy spoilers below‼️

So, I've been rewatching acoc to refresh myself for Ravening War and I watched Safe Haven yesterday — still hurts on the third watch, btw. Ever since that scene where Rococo and the other sisters come to get Jet when she dies, I've had this idea that I can't let go of.

Rococo tells her that the work isn't done, that there's a lot they can do from the other side. I know they have some scenes where they see and even (to various levels) commune with Jet and the Rocks Sisters, but I feel like there was more to Rococo's words. So, basically, now I want a campaign of Emily playing Jet and four other pcs playing the Rocks Sisters (I think Aabria would be an AMAZING Lazuli) showcasing their own crazy quest in the Calorum afterlife.

Tldr: Side quest of Emily as Jet going on a dope quest in the afterlife with her awesome aunts.

[lovecanbesostrange]

I kept thinking of that poll from yesterday about writing down a list of 100 fav movies and so I just gave it a quick try...

Alien (don't make me choose between 1&2)

Heathers

The Breakfast Club

Nightmare on Elm Street (1, 3, 7)

but I'm a cheerleader

Star Wars 4, 5, 6

The Faculty

The Goonies

Terminator (1, 2, Dark Fate)

The Proposal

Barb & Star go to Vista Del Mar

The Lost Boys

Imagine Me & You

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

Princess Mononoke

Laputa - Castle in the Sky

My Neighbor Totoro

The Iron Giant

Titan A.E.

Mulan

The Little Mermaid

Lilo & Stitch

The Emperor's New Groove

Brave

Maleficent

The Hunger Games

GhostBusters (this franchise has no bad entry)

Scream (much like with Alien the third comes in last, but here the whole franchise is one big banger)

The Sixth Sense

Signs

Stardust

X-Men: Days of Future Past (I love almost all foX-Men films though, but 2 and DoFP are the best)

Avengers, Age of Ultron, Infinity War, Endgame (let me put them in a row and I will not pick any more from the MCU)

The Dark Knight

Back to the Future

Jurassic Park

The Lord of the Rings (SEE please)

North by Northwest

Witness for the Prosecution

Some Like it Hot

Mulholland Drive

Raiders of the Lost Ark (also Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, no wait probably more so 3>1, the others are fine)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Charlie's Angels + Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

Pirates of the Caribbean (1, 2, 3)

Stephen King's IT Chapter One (funny enough I probably wouldn't qualify Two as a fav on its own, though it's a good and necessary second half of the story, but Chapter One is where it's at)

Carrie (1976)

The Mist (black-and-white is dope)

Misery

Stand by Me

Spaceballs

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Adventures in Babysitting

The Invisible Man (2020)

Pitch Black

Sunshine

The Cabin in the Woods

Evil Dead (especially 2)

Event Horizon

The Blob (1988)

Death Becomes Her

Steel Magnolias

A Fish called Wanda

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (German Dub supremacy though, Volle Kanne Hoshy)

Stranger than Fiction

An American Werewolf in London

The Silence of the Lambs

Starship Troopers

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Mamma Mia

Little Shop of Horrors

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Moulin Rouge

The Craft

A Chinese Ghost Story

Lady Vengeance

Silver Hawk

Dr. Wai in the Scripture with No Words (had to look up the English title, hey it's Jet Li's version of Indiana Jones and I have a soft spot for this one, even though it's far from Li's best and has so many flaws due to being a nightmare production)

Parasite

Mallrats

St. Trinian's

Ginger Snaps

The Fountain

Galaxy Quest

Elvira - Mistress of the Dark

Cruel Intentions

St. Elmo's Fire

Shaun of the Dead

Rock'n'Roll High School

The Prestige

Underworld (the first above all else)

Resident Evil (especially Afterlife)

Playing by Heart

The Heat

Kill Bill

Ever After

Donnie Darko

Happy Death Day

Trick 'r Treat

D.E.B.S.

Wait, how have I already reached 100? There aren't even the quirky films (like TiMER) or the fun horror trash (my love for Deep Blue Sea is endless). Didn't dive into European films (Amélie) or specific German stuff (bandits). I can do a 100 list for horror alone easily (omg not even The Haunting on here).

Anyway do not question how my mind wandered from title to title, also there is zero ranking involved. Damn, there are five on the list that I don't own on DVD or BD. hmmmm... What does favorite movie even mean? Who knows. In any case for the past few months I've gone back far more to stuff I already know instead of watching new things (that I plan to watch some day, but well, it never felt right).

[sweetcheese-ing]

sniff.. i had to divorce your phone account.. please forgive me😣

I became what you fantasized about becomin'

Had to quit sendin' music out, 'cause somebody fucked around, leaked somethin'

Every girl that I mess with knows what's up, but they keep comin'

Pretty sure at this point, they don't wanna know the secrets I keep from 'em

Put your phone down and be somethin', twenty-five and you broke (broke)

Talkin' 'bout me on the internet, but you dapped me up when we spoke (fake)

I don't know if I'm genius, but I definitely had a few strokes (uh)

Real raps, not jokes (mmm), dress like I'm at Oakes (ayy)

Seer suckin' my coat (coat), daycare in her throat (yeah)

Hit songs in my notes (ooh), hit notes like, "Don't" (don't)

I just got in my zone (zone), had to let it be known (known)

Brought her out, she got flown (boom), unspoken, we bone

Fell in love with my tone, airplane on my phone

Floatin' off the Patrón, in the club and I'm stoned

Used to curve me in the tenth grade, now things changed, I'm grown

I ain't gettin' dethroned, hit the gas and I'm gone (hit the gas and I'm gone, gone)

I'm the one that put the city on

Yeah, I'm the one that got the city known off of turkey bags and I'm in it for 'em

I'm the one that gave us big records, I done fucked around and got my Guinness on

Yeah, in the city I be buildin' hoes, put butt shots and her titties on

Me though, I like natural, fifty bands in the satchel

Yeah, a million in just jewelry actually, and she saved my number under "Daddy"

Used to do field trips up to Gatti's, used to do road trip to the natty

Don't take no pics and don't at me

I take you to the show to meet Jackie (to the show to meet Jackie)

These girls'll do anything for some backstage passes (yeah, yeah)

Yeah, lights, camera, action (lights, camera, action)

Don't stop, keep goin', it's relaxin' (stop, keep goin')

You comin' on tour with how you actin' (comin' on tour)

She seen my car and got to askin' (she seen my car)

Yeah, this Aventador, not a 'Vette, I ain't went platinum, I go jet

But I'm still livin' life, no sweat, came in the Rolls coupe, the Rolls truck next

Another quarter million on the wrist (another quarter million on)

Pick her up, she ignore a text

Pretty sure he know what's next (he know what's-)

I told her, "More spit, baby, more lips"

You ain't know I leave 'cause I'm born sexy

If you didn't know, now you know (didn't know, now you-)

Move with young hood nigga hope

One-fifty for a local show (fifty for a show)

I'm the fire extinguisher to the smoke

We all know who hate me the most (we all know who hate me the-)

All the lame niggas that's broke (all the lame niggas that's-)

From the black sheep to the GOAT (from the black sheep to the-)

I was just microwavin' my dope (I was just microwavin' my dope)

Since the white Rollie and the rope (white Rollie and the-)

Like my food with a side of coke (food with a side-)

I ain't gotta say much, y'all know (say much, y'all-)

Yeah, I'm the one that got the city known off of turkey bags and I'm in it for 'em (in it for 'em)

I'm the one that gave us big records, I done fucked around and got my Guinness on

Yeah, in the city I be buildin' hoes, put butt shots and her titties on

Me though, I like natural, fifty bands in the satchel

Yeah, a million in just jewelry actually, and she saved my number under "Daddy"

Used to do field trips up to Gatti's, used to do road trip to the natty

Don't take no pics and don't at me, I take you to the show to meet Jackie

These girls'll do anything for some backstage passes

snif...h-HOW COULD YOU

[nfumbewalk]

Well, I Never!

My Sour Jars are back at my store for $5. Tell me what you need and I'll work my jar for you!

Well guess what...I lost a follower. I only notice because I don't have many yet. I know who it was & probably why. Lolz! The remark made by my muerto, Rodolfo, about his opinion on the term "Latinx." It's not my opinion! I don't give a fuck. Rodolfo just basically said it was "fuckin dope" as in stupid. He prefers Hispanic, Latino or even Mexican. His favorite freaking colors are of the Mexico flag! Haha. I said he is old school but forgot to mention he was also military - Army. That makes a man very different, in my experience.

My husband, Tom, was an Army paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne. Yeah - not a leg. Makes a man an entirely different breed. I'm not dismissing women, but I only speak of what I know. I've had close guy friends who went to the first Iraq war. It's something you just don't ask about. Anyway...why are "dark" dudes such pussies? Jesus, that's all I've encountered. Dated ONE & he was 12 years older than me. Such a whiny little bitch, and he was military too! Well, he was Navy - if that counts. Lol! Joking! Just funning. Guess he left his balls on a ship in Spain. Roflmao! 😂 Sorry, there's tons of joking between branches of the military. It's great.

Am I always this way? Yep, get used to it or move on. Not many people like me or accept me because I *upset* them. Waa! Lol. Actually, I'm very demure and polite in real time situations. I just let all my demons out online. I ended up like most women in my family - no lady friends but I sure love dudes! They love me too. I love cars, especially old ones & I can talk about them. I like guy stuff. I grew up around lots of men & cars. Heh. I'm just an Oregon bumpkin. Not! Unfortunately, my hometown is PDX. Ugh!! Portland is a shit hole & even though my dad died last year, I'm so glad he doesn't live in that horrible place anymore. His ashes are here in Eugene with me.

Anyway, so some dark vampire/werewolf stopped following me. I'm just posting this in case he (I can't remember his pronouns!) comes back. 😅 Am I evil? Yes I am...so the old Metallica song goes...\m/ If ppl don't like my writings here, lemme know and I'll cease & go back to WordPress. My ppl there really love me warts & all. And my audience is older, like me. I'm very middle aged. I do have lots of things to share if you can stand my vernacular, writing style and sarcasm laced words. And obscenities.

I am good at not swearing though - I never, ever said a curse word around either one of my parents. Not once. I respected them. My mom was very hard. My dad was my world. Oh goddamn it! I don't have my Jet bracelet - it broke and my new one is in the mail! I wear Jet for grieving. It helps me not cry about my dad. It works well. Wear Jet if someone close to you passes away. The Victorians were correct! Not French Jet though!! That's nothing but black glass. I'll show you all my 104 year old French Jet necklace. I use it for channeling. Works great for being glass. Don't be fooled on Etsy with high prices unless it's old like mine.

Sorry, I'm all over the place, verbose and sped. Had a weird conversation with Yemanja earlier...don't know what to think. These changes swirling around are making me a little confused. I'm too old for this shit. Makes me just want to do nothing but my Muerteria. Use my cauldrons as vessels, perhaps. Not like Palo though, but kind of...I have been thinking, well, I need religion/spirituality, right? Now, I have no fuckin clue. Nada. Dunno. Roger that, Dahmer. 💀 I have always thought, need a god/ess, demon, etc. Maybe I don't. I really love my mother's though. 💖 They aren't a religion. Just stay away from the ATR folks. Lol. See, confused. We shall see & very soon. My dedication to Yemanja is five days away. A lot can change...I'll be doing divination, looking for signs & omens - anything. If anything breaks, burns, disappears, floats in mid-air - I'll be watching extra close! I'm freakin now!

Gotta run! 💖💀💖

[the-firebird69]

OFF SEASON MODE - 340 LBS - BIGGEST BULKING GAINS - MARKUS RUHL MOTIVATION

He told me pieces of it he said Jason might be if it's Patrick and not Jason Jamie and I checked and Jamie doesn't know anything kind of works and Trump is sinking real fast he throws us the fleece and he dies that's what happens you get under the influence and there's Max there and they look horrible some of them are doping and some of them are probably inside bodies of mutants it's really disgusting okay they're very into it and they hear it too and we're in trouble and we're in trouble before and that's why they had me hit him I think it came out and we got it out now we know what it is they're in Jeopardy they're all so a threat

Brad we're doing the job okay everyone has to calm down on him

We understand now let me see what you're saying people are figuring it out this is how bad it really is and those comet empire ships are wicked people see the shell and it's starting to come out

Mac daddy

These Max is so cheap he probably won't have money for a year but hey I hate to say that but it's really really difficult and we have to break practically everything and it's going to take a lot of work and yeah they're fighting it's not as bad as we thought but heck you know the empire is probably just taking the ships

Thor Freya

We're going to be bad boys here and start to fight them

Jet li

Yes we shall and we're going to get the clothes too as well they blocked in

Shaq

We're moving on the stuff and we're getting ideas together we're going to work and boy that took a lot of effort but we see it in a while the Golden fleece Jason and Argonauts it goes back to Greece and this is the top stuff

Joe Preston

Olympus

[esperanzagoldofficial]

Vaudeville, Jett and His Friends Start a Minecraft Realm

*Vaudeville hops on Discord*

V: Just stahted the Minecraft realm. I posted instructions for how to join in General

Jett: Sweet! I haven’t played Minecraft in a while, so can’t wait to play

Osatia: Vaudeville, if we play Minecraft again, it’s not going to be the same as last time?

V: I dunno what’cha talkin’ ‘bout.

J: Jesus Christ

O: Last time we had a server, you destroyed all my crops, X-ray-modded your emeralds, and then blew up everyone’s houses after Jett said he was gonna reset your XP 😑

V: You guys are always accusin’ me of X-ray-muods. Ever just consida’ that I’m good at Minecraft? 😊

J: Hit-dog will holler, Vaude. You definitely cheated 😑

V: Whateva ya say

*Kai, Soto, Isák, and Max joined the server*

K: Hey is it okay if we join?

V: Ok but just know you’ll be woikin’ like a jackass gettin’ me iron

*3 minutes later*

O: I think I’m gonna start mining some wood to build my house

K: I’m building my base as far away from all of you as possible

V: Oh, no ya don’t, kid. You’re gonna be minin’ my iron for me, ya sneaky rat

O: Vaude, just leave him alone, plz

K: I ain’t mining a damn thing for you

V: Get back over here and mine my iron befoah I ban ya from da soiva 😠

K: Already threatening me? That's awesome. 😑

V: It ain't a threat, pal, it's a promise. Don' make me do it

I: I'm gonna build on one of the mountains

S: I'm gonna build near a beach

M: I'm gonna build near Spawn

O: I found me a village

K: Vaudeville is really trying to fucking kill me with a Stone Sword 😑

V: I told ya to go mine iron and ya refuse

O: Oh Jesus Christ, here we go already 😑

K: Get smoked, idiot. You had a Stone Sword and lost to me with a Stick 😈

V: Dis guy has ta be cheatin'. There's no way he killed me. 😠

K: It's 1.19 now, dipshit. You can't just spam-attack anymore. You gotta time it to the bar on your crosshair.

O: Can everyone please just relax? We barely even started and I don't want the realm to be ruined already 😑

*3 Hours Later*

O, I, S, M: Finished. Think mine looks dope

V: Oh your guys' might be whatever ya just said, but mine is way huga and betta

J: Trying to watch a YT tutorial for how to build my house

K: Vaudeville, I'm by your base. There's no way you built this big-ass castle in Survival that quickly 😑

V: Mind ya own damn business, Kai. Yes I did do all of this in Suhvival. 😠

J: How do I make a Crafting Table again?

K: 4 planks of wood in a square, Crafting Menu

V: How do ya forget how ta make a Craftin' Table in Minecraft, ya jet-laggin idiot?

K: Don't talk to Jett like that, just because you got caught using Creative to build your castle

V: I didn' use no damn Creative Mode. There'd be somethin in da chat dat tells ya if I did, an' there hasn' been

S: Guys, I think it's clear Vaudeville used Creative Mode 😁

V: Shut up 😠

J: Who has my damn Fortune pickaxe?

K: I don't

S: Me neither

I: No way, Jose

M: Uh-uh

O: Not me

V: Nope

J: Well, someone has it, and when I find out who does, I'm gonna flip shit, so let's get it back to me, pronto.

V: Ah, shut'cha corny ass up, Dr. Lagwagon. Ya not doin' anythin' ta anyone.

J: K, well, wait 'til Kai and I see you 😈

O: You guys have an alliance?

K: Yeah, fuck Vaudeville. We're gonna make sure he doesn't mess with us again 😈

V: Ya guys are so scared. Guys, wanna team?

O: You guys coming after us?

J: Nah, just Vaudeville.

O: Ok, then no, Vaudeville. We don't wanna team.

V: Awesome 😑😠

J: Kai, grab the TNT and get over here

K: Got it. Just 100 blocks away

V: How da hell does Kai have TNT already? Dis idiot is cheatin'

O: Vaudeville, you accuse people of cheating in every game 😑

V: They just killed me. How is it okay for them ta kill me?

K: Jett, run, I set the TNT off.

V: Goddammit, guys. Don't ruin my base!!!

*TNT explodes, destroying every inch of Vaude's castle*

V: Ya toid-eatas, ya just completely destroyed my base. 😠

K: Cry about it 😈

J: Nice work, Kai 👍

O: The server just went down?

V: Yeah, I shut da realm down

*Vaudeville hops off the server*

End

((And yes, this is how I'd interpret Vaudeville to be if he does happen to pick up a video game. And yes, Jett does know some street slang))

((BTW, this is based entirely off a YouTube video by Optimus, but it's with AI Joe Biden, Donald Trump, and Barrack Obama))

Vaudeville belongs to @fractiouslemonofficial & @askvaudeville

Jett, Osatia, Kai, Max, Isák, and Soto belong to me

[artcalledmusica]

Allow Me Push Tempo KY Deep Now

It’s work night like non others, 1/3 on me need to push pull shove drop place set

I need a playlist:

Brutal Equation, Consolidated

The Man That Never Was, RickSpringfield mixed in with FooFighters

Hold Me, FleetwoodMac

Ice Age, HowToDestroyAngels

Down, 311

Everything Went Numb, StreetlightManifesto

From Your Mouth, GodLivesUnderwater

Race You To Bottom, NewMedicine

Santa Domingo, RodrigoYGabriela

Wonderwall, Oasis

West Coast Rock Steady, P.O.D.

Kill Tomorrow, Mushroomhead

You Suck, Yeastie Girls w/ Consolidated

Are You Gonna Be My Girl, Jet

Microphone Fiend, RageAgainstTheMachine

You Wouldn’t Know, Hellyeah

Every Day Is Exactly The Same, NineInchNails

Nobody’s Listening, LinkinPark

Can’t Break This Man, Borialis

It Ain’t Easy, Aranda

Boondocks, Little Big Town

Fire Woman, The Cult

Little Monster, Royal Blood

Mosquito, Tantric

{it’s not about you, it plays in shuffle, don’t flatter thy selves, it’s an ipone5}

My need for a night, blaring through open speakers for singing along slinging on add some to shelves the products, consumerism our leadership and bonus

My music allows bpm tempo

Item to item, soul to soul, it’s all an entrapment

Sounds help it carry through

Vocalizing words for preachment

I’ll add another 2 hour plus playlist artist to title:

Skinny Puppy, Goneja

Shinedown, Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide

Rob Zombie, Two-Lane Blacktop

Twenty One Pilots, Ride

Spiderbait, Black Betty

StoneTemplePilots, Plush (acoustic, oh yea)

Presence, Somebody’s Watching Me

Bulletproof Messenger, Wake Up Call

Lateef The Truthspeaker, We The People

Pink Floyd, Breathe

Fischerspoon, Emerge

Dolly Parton, Jolene

Drugstore Fanatics, Hangman

Shiny Toy Guns, Le Disko

Snot, Absent

RZA, Rogue Cleans da Hizouse

Gary Clark Jr., Bright Lights

Starset, My Demons

StreetSweeper, Clap For The Killers

TheStoneRoses, Fools Gold

Dope, Addiction

12Stones, Bulletproof

Filter, What Do You Say

Metallica, One (acoustic live)

NineInchNails, Down In It (live Woodstock)

Trapt, Headstrong (acoustic)

Elle King, Jackson

PuddleOfMud, Stoned

No Address, When I’m Gone(Sadie)

Saliva, Ladies and Gentlemen

Hoobastank, Crawling In The Dark

Skid Row, Youth Gone Wild

Primer55, Texas Acoustic

10Years, Waking Up The Ghost

10Years, Shoot It Out

Train, Hey Soul Sister

SavageGarden, To The Moon & Back

JetsOverhead, Heading For Nowhere

NineInchNails, Head Like a Hole

I listen to words and music I’m past genera all songs in worldly conditions not caged in but work wise different restitution is needed the harmonies & melodies help as such so depressing mangled distortions in living I won’t repeat those copied in multiple lists the music I mean

Some you may have never heard about for another two hours I’ll list artist first then song, quicker isn’t it:

3DoorDown, Time Of My Life

Dogfight, Standing Still

Murderdolls, Dead In Hollywood

FearFactory, Linchpin

Beast, Mr Hurricane

CoursesOfNature, Anger Cage

Chevelle, Closure

DeathCabForCutie, Underneath The Sycamore

Wink, Black Bomb

CypressHill, Hits From A Bong

Madonna, Don’t Tell Me

Tool, Anima

Zella, Hypnotic

Wednesday13, Xanxtasy

Sarah McLachlen, Building A Mystery

Korn, Twisted Transistor (acoustic)

TheNakedAndFamous, Young Blood

TheProdigy, Spitfire

Foo Fighters, Let It Die

Aranda, whyyouwannabringmedown

Tantric, Down And Out

Kaki King, Ritual Dance

Crazy Anglos, Mista Mista

Paramore, Misery Business

Refused, New Noise

Iration, Falling

PigeonJohn, The Bomb

KottonMouthKings, Where’s The Weed At

Taproot, Poem

BreakingPoint, Show Me A Sign

NineInchNails, Less Than

ArcticMonkeys, R U Mine

LocalH, Bound For The Floor

Bz’s, Dangan

TheDoors, When The Music’s Over

Shakira, Empire

INXS, Mystify

TheRaconteurs, Steady, As She Goes

Korn, Coming Undone

Bjork, Crystalline

KevinRudolf, Without You

JohnNewman, Love Me Again

CrazyAnglos, Venomous

Shinedown, Miracle

Led Zeppelin, The Lemon Song

ThousandFootCrutch, Let The Sparks Fly

Pinback, Torch

Flyleaf, All Around Me

Ministry, Thieves

Rocking n Rolling Along

Tempo

Sonics

Shelves of Products

Tap up to top stock

Riding and Stepping along

Make me homeless

Let’s go!

Kick kick kick it back Interest or something

I’m feel in’

I’m feel in’

I’m feeling

IT

Deep Down

[darkaquarius93]

Chapter 5

Report finished and sent. No detail left out, and even threw in a list of cleansing ingredients that I don't have. At the very least, if the dig site doesn't get shut down, the council will be able to report that I'm taking the incident very seriously to prevent a future incident.

I sigh and sink into the pillows, brain abuzz with worries. Honestly, I could go for a good Pierre distraction right now, but I haven't seen him in a couple of hours. My computer dings only a few minutes later, and I'm not surprised to see it's a reply to my report, letting me know one of the elders would be flying out on the jet to inspect the ruins themselves by tomorrow afternoon. I nod and close the laptop, rubbing a hand across my face. My tiredness is bone deep and I just want some hot chocolate to lull me to sleep.

I'm dozing off when Pierre slips back in and whispers his fingers over my temple for a check in.

"You would recover faster if you let me do it, mon amore," he murmurs quietly.

I tense for several seconds, but all he does is run cool fingers over my hot face until I relax. I'm not sure I can speak with my breath hitching in my throat, but he takes my silence for what it is.

"Mon amore, please, I need you to tell me why you do these things. I can deal with cleansings hurting you, that's what necromancers do, but I am your life-breather. You know you won't recover without me. Why do you refuse me?"

The anguish cracks his beautiful voice, and coupled with my already vulnerable state and the intimacy of his darkened cabin, I finally relent.

"You get your first life-breather when you're nineteen. A year of additional studies after high school, a chance to learn what might become your specialty. My first life-breather was older, liked by all, well respected. It wasn't questioned that he preferred new necromancers. 'I love watching the joy of youth, it makes me feel young' he'd tell his colleagues. Well, new necromancers are always young, naive."

Pierre's fingers pause. I reach from under the covers and grasp his hand in both of mine, nuzzling his knuckles for comfort.

"You're supposed to be partnered with a life-breather for life. Some necromancers pact with their life-breathers even after death. I was with him two years before his abuses were known. They don't know why he changed his MO with me after the dozens before me. They didn't know until he stopped caring that the bruises were showing."

I'm sure if I could see my hands that my knuckles would be white as I grip Pierre's hand, holding onto it to keep from drowning in the memories. Another weakness of necromancers.

"I can't remember everything he did, but I can't forget how he'd dope me up. Flood me with serotonin on anything he said, so that I was happy even when he called me awful names. He constantly manipulated my emotions. Just chemicals in an organ for him to play with. When he first started hitting me, he'd heal the bruises. Then he'd only hit me where it wouldn't show under my clothes."

I draw a shaky breath.

"By the time I was separated from him, I was hooked. Two years in rehab after him. Most of it just dealing with the withdrawal, but I had to relearn how to have my own emotions. I was a plague on the nurses and doctors, with violent mood swings and other mental illnesses that I couldn't be medicated for because of him. Another year of reorienting myself in my own body, and I was reassigned another life-breather. He had my files, he passed the background check, he was highly recommended. He wasn't any better.

"He had no patience for my mental illnesses, my medications, or my PTSD. Any time I had to cleanse I'd refuse recovery and he'd just roll his eyes and smack me with a paralysis and recover me anyway. When it finally got to where my skin would crawl any time he even looked at me, I begged for a different life-breather. Six. Six life-breathers after him. Dozens refused my assignment, but six tried, and hated that I didn't want them touching me and left the assignment."

I trail off, letting the silence settle. After a moment, Pierre twitches his hand and I loose my death grip so he can turn it over and cup my cheek.

"Abigail..." he whispers desperately. I just press into his hand.

"And now you're here. Three months you've had me, dealing with everything that no one else could handle, that I can't handle myself, and every trial you go through with me you always come out on top. You rally to any hellstorm I bring, and you correct me when I'm wrong, and you've never left me to cleanse alone. I don't just rely on you, Pierre, I crave you. I crave your touch, whether you're healing me or not, I crave your company whether you're teasing me or sitting quietly next to me, any time I feel like I'm about to spiral into a shitshow I know all I have to do is breathe in the smell of you and I'm grounded again. For all you've never made a move towards me that I never invited, you have a greater control over me than he ever had.

"It scares me, Pierre. I'm more than just vulnerable with you, I'm bare down to my soul. There's nothing you don't see. Sometimes I pick fights to make you mad at me, when I get too soft, when you start getting too close. I can't let you get too close. We'll be just another of those cliché tragedies. There'll come a day where I'll meet a spirit stronger than me, and your feelings will keep you from your duty. I need you to be able to put me down Pierre. Because if you can't put me down, they'll take you too, and that's enough to make me one of those necromancers from nightmares."

My throat is thick, the words almost forced out, but I force myself to swallow heavily through it. I won't cry. I won't.

But then Pierre is slipping under the blankets with me and pulling me close, whispering anguished sweet nothings, and I break.

when writing prompts go hard

here's a story that I wrote in the replies of an old writing prompt on reddit. figured I'd post it here to keep it where I can find it. maybe I'll do something with it in the future

The Prompt: [WP] Necromancy, as a means of speaking to the recently deceased, is a common and useful tool for police, doctors, grief counselors, etc. You'd think it would be useful for archaeologists too, but there's a reason they're not allowed to do it...

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

I'm livid. Beautifully carved pots and weapon fragments that took weeks of painstaking work to remove in the ruins lay in shattered pieces in the alcove where I and my students had set them aside to catalog them. A shambling corpse from one of the sarcophagi deeper in the ruins was crawling through the pieces, crushing more under it's decaying body as students fled it in a wave. My senses buzz in all directions around me, like pings on a radar, meaning there were more than one awakened corpses tramping through the ruins.

Too many discoveries had been lost to such nonsense. Useful as we are, necromancers actually can't get jobs in the archaeology fields because of idiots trying to show off. The only reason I'm allowed to stay is because I'm a curse breaker - a rarety - and have proven myself time and again to keep my powers under tight control.

The corpse senses me nearby. It's beginning to look for me, turning to stumble into my direction. I throw out my hand and seize the tether of life that brought the poor soul back to it's corpse in an attempt to sever it so that it can return to it's afterlife to no avail. Whoever summoned it is just strong enough that I can't wrest control from their bond. That only leaves one way to deal with the shamblers: the slim sword at my hip.

Many of the older archaeologists and necromancers alike have laughed at my sword, sneered in disdain at my 'cocky and presumptuous' attitude.

'Or at least up until they come across an awakened whose tether can't be severed,' I think to myself as I destroy the corpse in front of me and move deeper into the ruins after the others. I strike down the ones I can't sever. Finally I turn a corner to an antechamber where I can feel the necromancer and pull up short. There's a massive awakened standing inside, staring unseeing at the necromancer that lay unconscious on the floor before him. I notice that it's a student that hadn't been a necromancer this morning, which means there's a curse in play.

The awakened senses me and turns towards me, revealing an ancient dagger dripping with blood. My gaze hardens as I settle into my stance without reaching for the tether; I know this one won't be severed.

Time to go to work.

[kaunis-sielu]

Schoolyard: 4

The flight is the most relaxing you’ve ever been on. You read while Thor does a little work then he invites you into the back of the plane where there’s a full bed and full bathroom.

“Oh. Oh my god. Thor! This is dope! Can I get the jet in our split?” He laughs before flopping down on the bed.

“I don’t think that’s how an annulment works Elskede.” He loops one of those thick arms around your waist and pulls you down onto the bed with him.

“Thor!” You yelp as you land next to him.

“We used to nap together all the time.” He says calmly, and your brows furrow, you don’t remember ever napping with him but the bed is comfortable, you’re tired and he’s warm so you drift off.

When you start to wake his voice is low and soft. You feel his voice vibrating through your chest as he talks to someone in Norwegian. You sometimes forget that his first language isn’t English because you so rarely heard him speak anything else. When you listen to what he’s saying it sounds like he’s talking to his mom. He’s asking about how Odin is doing and if you’ll have time to get settled. He asks if they press knows about you, about how you’re his wife. The heavy sigh he lets out is concerning to say the least. You give his waist where your arm has curled itself a little squeeze.

“Are you awake Elskede?” He asks and you hum sleepily. He says goodbye to his mom then hangs up before turning his attention back to you. “We still have a few hours, to go.”

“Does the press know we’re married?”

“No, they do know that I’m bringing home a woman though.”

“At least they don’t know we’re married. My life is going to be under a microscope isn’t it?”

“Probably. I’m sorry Elskede.”

“Thor, none of this is your fault. It’s not like you told Loki to make everything legit when we were kids. I don’t blame you.”

“You’re too kind.”

“Nah, it would be stupid to blame you. How is everything at home?”

“Father isn’t doing well, Mother is worried.”

“If there’s anything I can do please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Would you be willing to look over his medical records?”

“Of course.” You agree softly not moving from your spot. “Is it okay if I go back to sleep?”

“Yes of course. I should sleep too.”

“You haven’t slept yet?” You ask glancing up at him, he’s got an arm curled around you, your head is on his chest and shoulder while your arm is still slung across his extremely firm stomach.

“I dozed but then Odin’s doctor called as well as mother.”

“What did his doctor say?”

“Basically that his heart is failing.”

“Is that why you came now? To do the annulment so you can get married before he dies?”

“No? I’m not seeing anyone.”

“No arranged marriage?” You tease and he runs a hand down your arm.

“Jealous Elskede?” He murmurs lowly and you laugh softly. But you might be. You’ve gotten comfortable with him quickly, there’s always been something about him that you’ve liked. He’s kind, so damn handsome and completely charming but he’s a Crown Prince and he lives in the other side of the world. Could you honestly make this work? “What about you? Any men I need to worry about?” He asks lightly but you feel the weight behind the words.

“The last guy I went on a couple of dates with is kind of a weenie.”

“A weenie?” Thor says with a laugh.

“Yea! He’s one of those guys who thinks they’re the best thing since sliced bread and that he’s all that because he’s a pilot.” You tell him with an eye roll, “he always asks Jane if I like him or will go out with him again instead of just asking.”

“He sounds like a weenie.” Thor says and it sounds so funny in his deep voice that you can’t help but laugh.

“Jane said he’s been asking again but I’m just not into him.”

“Should he bother you or make you feel uncomfortable please let me know how I can help.”

“Thank you.” You tell him before a yawn tumbles past your lips.

“Alright Elskede, sleep now.”

“I’d like to use that shower before we land and I see everyone again so I don’t look like the trash I’ll feel like.”

“You could never look like trash.” He says sweetly but he hasn’t seen you after you’ve just woke up. “Why would you feel like trash?”

“The time zone shifts always mess me up.”

“I’ll set an alarm.” He shifts slightly to grab his phone and you go to move but Thor tightens his grip slightly on you so you relax into him instead. “Is an hour enough time?”

“Yea, thank you.” He hums in response then closes his eyes and after a few minutes his breathing has evened out and you’re pretty sure he’s asleep. It takes you longer to drift off, his hand is still resting on your arm that’s across his waist. You like being wrapped up with to him, maybe a little too much, but as your eyes drift closed you find that you really don’t care.

Thor wakes you gently saying your name. You let out a soft groan, you’re still so tired.

“Elskede you said you wanted an hour to get ready.” He reminds you gently you roll out of his grasp heading to the front of the plane to grab your bag. “Elskede, the shower is there.”

“Clothes.” You grumble back sleepily and he mutters a soft,

“Oh.” You grab your smaller bag and roll it into the bathroom. You take a quick shower then change into a maroon dress, and a pair of nude heels. It’s something that you’ve worn to work and has always been an outfit that makes you feel confident. You do your hair and make up and have about twenty minutes before you land.

When you go back into the bedroom Thor isn’t in there. You head into the main cabin and find Thor sitting in one of the chairs talking with Volstagg who sees you and gives you a little nod. Thor turns and stands and you’re pretty sure that you stop breathing. He looks so damn good in a navy blue suit and pants with a white unbuttoned shirt underneath.

“You look stunning Elskede.” He breathes and you give him a soft smile.

“I was just going to say the same thing to you.”

“We need to go over some protocol, now that we’re back in Asgard.”

“Oh, okay.”

He explains a few details of what is expected of you. You will be required to curtsy to both of Thor’s parents as well as Thor and Loki if any of them come up to you in public. Thor assures you that things inside the palace are much more relaxed and should Loki try to get you to curtsy to them in the palace you’re welcome to ignore them. He also tells you that he’s got no plans to let you wander outside of the palace without him, it might be too much with all the press. You also shouldn’t talk to anyone you don’t know, or that Thor doesn’t know and social media is prohibited inside the palace.

After you practice curtsying properly, something that you never thought you’d have to do, you sit down in the seat next to him. The plane makes its descent and you twist your fingers together anxiously. Thor and Volstagg are talking and without looking Thor reaches over and gently pulls your hands apart weaving his fingers between yours.

“Elskede, it’s going to be fine.” He mutters before pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand. Your heart pounds wildly in your chest at the action.

“I’m just not used to being the center of attention.”

“Don’t worry, they’ll be more worried about me.”

“I know the British royal family has rules about holding hands and stuff but does your family?”

“No, if you want to hold my hand Elskede you’re more than welcome to.”

“I’m just so nervous.” You whisper and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I can understand that, it’ll be fine. The palace is going to release a statement about who you are tomorrow. Try not to worry. I’ve got you.” He promises and you nod as the plane touches down, butterflies flit around in your stomach. “Leave everything here.” Thor instructs softly as you go to grab your purse.

“But my passport?”

“You don’t need it for here. When we travel you’ll need it.” He offers you a hand as the flight attendant you’d only seen once at takeoff opens the door. Volstagg goes out first then Thor follows with you behind him. You go directly from the plane, down some stairs and to a dark car, photographers taking pictures and shouting at you both again. The quiet of the car is a relief, but next you’ve got to meet the royal family all over again.

Tag list:

@abschaffer2 @dsakita @dramadreamer14 @thesassmisstress @eralen @andahugaroundtheneck @loving-life-my-way @thefridgeismybestie @killcomet @dumblani @im-just-another-monster @mywinterwolf @scuzmunkie @biskwitmamaw @geeksareunique @paintballkid711 @lumar014 @also-fangirlinsweden @connie326 @inkedaztec @valsworldofcreativity @silver-lupines

[spookyvalentine]

Kasumi, Thane, Shiala for the character ask meme

OHHHHHHHHH i do be too in love

FIRST IMPRESSION

K: a THIEF??? you give me HEIST??? i studied art history in college, and got very focused on art crime and museum security and made several professors quite anxious, so the first time I played 2 and recruited her, she immediately soared to the top of my fave list

T: oh ho oh HO tiddy window. he is... ooh. him pretty. then he talked. HE'S HOT!!!! uh oh weren't you gonna romance garrus?

S: when she feel out of the thorian i was like wat. i am getting my ass kicked by a plant booger. why are you HERE. WHO ARE YOU

IMPRESSION NOW

K: i will die for you. i wanted to see more of her in 3. i wanted to heist the casino with her. extremely in love, forever and always, and if i wanted to punish myself and make another shepard it'd be to romance her

T: shattered. one of the most deeply romantic LIs out there imo. watching him come alive again. unrecoverable. i'll forever love him. also hes hot as fuck lemme lick him. he didn't die, he blasted kai leng in the face the second he leveled his pistol. i will also go to my grave foaming at the mouth what they did to him

S: wife. omg please benchpress me. the first time i played and had that conversation post-thorian and its like oh. you're badass as fuck. a commando and studied for centuries w benezia? AND THEN SHE FLIRTS W YOU IN 2 AND THERE IS NO OPTION FOR FOLLOW UP???? i thought about that scene all the time. and with the next couple playthroughs, every time i got to see her i was like. oh no youre even prettier. oh no you're even cooler. and now its just terminal brainrot. god i wish we couldve recruited her/romanced her. that would have been mad dope. thank god i am sometimes capable of writing fic

FAVORITE MOMENT

K: ohhhh a toughie. it feels like a cop out to say all of them, but her VA does such a damn good job bringing so much personality into her lines so like even going and checking in on her between missions was a delight to hear her comment on squadmates. that heist was so good tho. hoot every time she jumps on the jet and gives hock that jaunty wave. WHAT A BABE!!! i also love when she goes HAha while in combat

T: when he finally talks about irikah and kolyat. it felt so special and intimate to learn about them. and when he cries before kissing shepard. yes.

S: when shE FLIRTS IN 2 OASIFHLJISUDH but seriously when shes free of the thorian and says she wants to help the colony in recompense. that. meant a lot to me. also i watched the renegade version on yt and the fact that she'll just. let shepard kill her without a fight.... that...... ow

IDEA FOR A STORY

K: well. i've got several fics in the works for her w mercy shepard

- new orleans heist

- vinny (the first man kasumi kills)

- ANDERSON NEVER ARRESTS MERCY AU: CRIMELORD MERCY SHEPARD where kasumi is their right hand, and eventually they end up on the trail of saren. alternate recruitment of squadmates >:)

T: i've got a google doc titled cleaning supplies which um. has been the filth i've been posting in chunks. the other fic for him that i just have a barebones bit is hurt/comfort after mercy visits alchera, beginnings of a romance between them. and of course, sports coach au that i will absolutely start actively writing once i've gotten a couple more "essential" mercy fics done

S: i am working on stellan and shiala's first in-person date after the war, inspired by you, the powerful @yellingaboutmasseffect, where they do the floating howl/sophie walk. and then i like to play around with a full-on howl's moving castle shepala au, that i'd probably post scenes from, rather than any sort of longfic. and im still writing very married sleepy fucking. um. yeah. that's almost complete

UNPOPULAR OPINION

K: i will never regret she's there because she makes my life worthwhile, but why was kasumi recruited in the first place?? she's a thief, not a murder powerhouse

T: can't be considered a dilf til kolyat forgives him and even then, hun, you've got a lot of work to do for your kid (which, he does, of course. but it can't be ignored that thane just. abandoned his child)

S: i think she would've made a more fun companion than liara

FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP

(ignoring shepard)

K: i thought the one she had with the spectre jondam bau was fun. i'd write them going on an interrupted heist-turned-date. or a slow burn enemies to lovers thing. if i had time. i also love that kasumi and samara hang out, referenced in 2

T: thane/irikah, of course! what a powerful couple.

S: i would love to read about shiala studying under benezia, and then the curdling relationship has soverign's indoctrination worms between them. to her being sacrificed to the thorian. and then her learning the death of her teacher. like. there's a lot there and it hurts my feelings when i think about it. love that for me :)

FAVORITE HEADCANON

K: her grandmama. i have her as a badass cat burglar that raised kasumi as not only a beloved grandchild, but also her protege. powerful woman. also cared for mercy, but she dies when kasumi is seventeen

T: that he's got a dick like a vodka tampon

S: she's absolutely ripped. i know it. you know it. we all know it. i like the idea that she's both beefy and intellectual. and in my shepala-rotted brain, she's got a real talent for growing flowers :')