#jesper and wylan being together?

[trouvaille12]

These deleted scenes from SAB just prove why we need two shows now (probably before now but now especially). There is so much more they could show if each set of characters got room to breathe and expand.

[kazz-brekker]

the book ice court heist has big group project involving people who don’t like each other vibes but the tv version is just going to be forced couples counseling via trying not to die together

[six-of-cringe]

Something that is sad but also that I hugely appreciate about CK is that by the end, most of the systems that harmed the crows are still in place, but their relationships with themselves have grown and changed. I find this particularly interesting in the cases of Jesper and Wylan (shocking I know). Their identities still put them in danger of being exploited or harmed - Grisha indentures are still the norm in Kerch, and the auction scene made it very clear that if the Council knew Wylan's illiteracy was true, they would treat him much the same as his father did due to the culture surrounding productivity and ability. This might seem disheartening, but the hope lies in the shift in how these characters see themselves and their role in the world. By the end of the book, Jesper and Wylan are beginning to put away their internalized shame surrounding their identities. They may still have to hide who they are from the world to survive, but they're no longer hiding it from themselves - their true selves are no longer this crushing burden they have to turn away from to function. A general theme of the series is how, in accepting who they are and what has happened to them on a personal level, the crows place themselves in positions to make change on a systemic level - Inej and her ship, Nina and her mission, Kaz and his Barrel empire, Wylan and Jesper with their political, high-society empire. None of them are all the way there yet by the end - they're still healing, and both the loss of Matthias and the weight of those oppressive systems are going to weigh on them for a long time - but we get to see the very beginnings of that process. I'm going to bite someone.

[jackwolfes]

Wesper with 20 for the kisses ask game?

kisses on a scar (where it doesn't hurt)

CN: past physical abuse, implied sex

In the past two weeks Jesper has learnt many little things living in a Geldstraat mansion. He has learnt that he really rather likes having a private chef, and that he likes the way this chef in particular makes him waffles. He's also learnt that there is a right way to fold your napkin for dinner, a wrong way to dismiss a staff member when they bring up coffee, and that an expensive blanket really does make all the difference. 

Jesper has also learnt that Wylan Van Eck is a fantastic person to live with and love. 

Even though grief has worn them both down around the edges Jesper sees infinite light in his merchling's blue eyes. He hears unfettered joy in his laughter — because Wylan has laughed a lot lately — and savours every soft, lingering kiss. 

He has also learnt that he rather enjoys the other kinds of kisses Wylan gives him. 

Three days after that dreadful day a healer came round, sitting Wylan down and running gifted hands over each battered bruise. Jesper sat with him at his request, not holding his hand but wanting to. He watched each mark vanish, hearing the faint hitch in Wylan's breath as fractured bones knitted back together. Then the healer left them be and Wylan showed Jesper what sort of down payment he wanted to offer. 

Now, Jesper gazes lazily across Wylan's bedroom, still feeling utterly satisfied from the night before. A smile lingers at the corner of his lips as the memories dance across his mind. Wylan is still tucked beneath his arm, breathing easily. The past few weeks have certainly been a learning experience, but Jesper's most recent educational endeavor has been discovering what way Wylan likes to be touched best if they're aiming to make him come. 

Saints, had it been a good night. 

"We can't stay in bed all morning," Wylan murmurs. 

For the past fifteen minutes he's been drawing patterns on Jesper's bare chest with his fingertip. Naked beneath the blankets, the two of them are pressed together against each other. It thrills Jesper, feeling Wylan's bare thighs against his own. The very same thighs he was perched between last night. 

"Mm," Jesper finally replies, trying to force himself to pay attention before he gets distracted and finds his body betraying what he's thinking about. "You sure? I can be plenty convincing, merchling." 

Wylan laughs. He smacks his palm against Jesper's chest lightly, then pulls away. Jesper frowns at him and means nothing by it but joy. He watches Wylan stand, stooping low to snatch up the drawers he allowed Jesper to peel off him last night and tug them back on. He forgoes a shirt, though, meandering across the room to head towards his vanity. 

From the bed, Jesper stares at Wylan's naked back. He is struck suddenly by the fact that he has never actually paid attention to Wylan's body without a shirt on. Until last night they've been sleeping in separate beds. 

There is a scar. 

Wylan has started messing around with some of the lotions on his vanity, head ducked down. It leaves Jesper with a clear view of the scar down the length of his shoulder blade. It is thin and corded, tracking unignorable variation over his pale skin. Jesper hadn't really looked at his back last night when the two of them were naked together, and he hasn't seen much of Wylan naked otherwise. But in this peaceful moment he has a perfect view of Wylan's uncovered skin, and cannot look away from the mark. 

Jesper crawls out of bed, making his way over to Wylan almost cautious. No one can ever describe Jesper as careful, but Wylan is something he wants to take care with. 

"I don't need you distracting me over here," Wylan calls over his shoulder, having spotted Jesper starting to move in the mirror. He catches Jesper's eye in a reflection. There's still a smile in his words, but suddenly all Jesper can imagine is the ache of a boy beaten and bloodied. "Jes?"

He blinks, not having realised just how distracted that train of thought made him or how close he ended up getting. When he looks at Wylan in the mirror again he sees his pale brow furrowed. 

Before Jesper really thinks about it he's lifted his hand and brought his fingertips up to the scar on the back of Wylan's shoulder. Wylan's breath catches, a gunshot in the silence. Jesper freezes. 

With effort, he sees Wylan swallow. He shifts, weight adjusting, but he doesn't edge away from Jesper entirely. His hand stays on Wylan's skin, glancing over the scar. For an eternal second, the two of them are silent. 

Jesper breaks it first. 

"On Vellgeluk," he starts. In the mirror, he sees Wylan shut his eyes. The after-image of regret is obvious on his shut eyelids and it makes Jesper feel awful. It feels like infinite years since that afternoon on Vellgeluk but they both remember the things that were said. The secrets spilled against their holders will. 

Wylan stretches a hand up, brushing his fingers over the back of his shoulder. He can't quite reach it, but brushes against the edge of Jesper's finger. 

"He didn't do it himself," he offers. There is no need to acknowledge who he is. "There was a doctor that told him—" Wylan inhales deeply like the words are fighting him. Jesper wants desperately to tell him he doesn't need to carry on, but he can't bring himself to. Regardless, Wylan presses on. "The doctor said beatings would help. Beltings. He didn't seem to care about folding over the metal. Pain clears the mind, apparently." 

Jesper curses. Wylan's fingers twitch one more time, making Jesper too aware once more about the fact he's still touching something he shouldn't. He goes to jerk away but Wylan moves faster, grabbing for Jesper's hand and keeping it still. He has to stretch his arm backwards over his shoulder to do so but it does what he intends it to. 

"It doesn't hurt anymore. It hasn't hurt in years." His voice is the softest whisper that betrays his vulnerability. Jesper won't say weakness, because Wylan is not weak. He is basalt glass. No acid inside his soul burns him. 

But this kind of vulnerability is entirely different to the vulnerability they showed each other last night. This vulnerability is infinitely scarier. 

Jesper exhales. It makes his breath ghost over the bare expanse of Wylan's shoulder. It ruffles curly red hair and makes the young man shiver. Before he can overthink it Jesper ducks his head and replaces the touch of his fingers with his lips. Wylan gasps, adjusting the hand that had been touching Jesper's finger to brush against the side of his head. Jesper inhales the scent of sweat and lemon soap, leaving his lips on the mark like he can wipe it away.

"Your father is a monster," he finally whispers, lips moving against Wylan's bare skin. Jesper glances up to catch Wylan's eye in the mirror again and sees him smile. 

"Yeah," he says, "but the monsters I'm friends with are far scarier." 

The thought makes Jesper laugh. He wraps his arms around Wylan's waist, hugging him back against his chest and relishing the warmth of him. One more time, Jesper kisses the back of Wylan's neck. 

"Damn straight," he says. "Now, how about we ask your chef to make more of those waffles?" 

[madnessiseverything]

ok i do think that jesper went: i'll give him a key so he has a place he can just be <33 i will not think deeper about why or what this implies <33 this way he can come and go as he pleases :D

and when wylan said "move in" jesper went "um" because he was riding a whim and now realised that he did not think this through in the slightest and might be in over his head.

cause listen. this is new to both of them. they have no idea what they're doing, these are such specific circumstances and everything is moving very fast and maybe that's okay! maybe it isn't! who knows? certainly not them <3 they're going through this with no thoughts just vibes and i for one cannot wait for the plot angst to inevitably unfold and force them to slow down enough so they can think and communicate (which tbh they're already pretty good at so i believe in them)

[toolazytodecide]

My question is, how is Jesper going to find out about Wylan’s father? Will they use the scene from the books and have Kaz reveal it to the crows before the mission? Or is Jesper going to find out a different way?

[georgies-ftts]

Jesper being scared when Kaz told him he knows that he’s a fabrikator and only fabrikating the key to get himself out of the shackles so they could escape to then proudly fabrikating wylan a key infront of him so they can live together i’m sobbing don’t-

[totallyboatless]

Truly surprised anytime i see someone upset that Jesper and Wylan don’t have a slow-burn in the show. I’m realizing this is a hot take, but I want more fast-burns. “Will they/won’t they” can be great, but it has to match characterization, and aging up the Crows would absolutely change how Jesper and Wylan get together.

Kaz and Inej make sense to slow-burn — they both have some level of touch aversion, extreme trust issues, and “I’m an island i don’t need anyone” syndrome.

But Jesper and Wylan? Jesper is fully sexually active in both the books and the show, but being sexually active in your 20s is vastly different than as a teenager. He knows what he likes and goes for it and has been doing that for years. Wylan is only like 15 in the books and super inexperienced - but he’s always had that secretly-confident, slightly-unhinged streak. In this alternate universe, he’s had an extra almost-decade for those traits to grow before meeting the Crows — he knows *so* much more about himself.

Wylan isn’t shy, he’s reserved. There’s a difference — it’s not a lack of confidence, his confidence is just quiet. Wylan hits me so hard as a relatable queer character because he plays the game of gently feeling out interest - when we meet him he’s sussing out if Jesper is still interested, and I imagine when they first met he did the “i’m going to signal to you i’m queer and hope you signal back” dance that happens when you’re trying to figure out if hitting on someone in a queer context will be received well or not.

But as soon as Wylan gets the go-ahead that Jesper is interested, he’s all confidence. He was just waiting for the explicit permission to go for it. Both times in the show when we see Jesper and Wylan start to get hot and heavy, Wylan is the one who initiates.

So in the show we have two sexually active adults who are attracted to each other, who aren’t afraid to go for what they want once they get a positive social queue, and who live in a super dangerous place with a “live fast, die young” mentality. Anything other than them jumping each other the first night they met wouldn’t make sense.

And then we get to see the meat of their relationship! The conflict isn’t “tension bc they want to bone” the conflict is “they need to learn to communicate and be on the same page and figure out if they can make this work” which imo is infinitely more interesting for these two characters.

[yelenasbraid]

𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 — 𝒌𝒂𝒛 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒌𝒌𝒆𝒓

summary — kaz brekker has stacks of crumpled papers in his desk. no one knows what’s on those stacks of crumpled papers, or who they are addressed to.

warnings — gn!grisha!reader, angst, fluff, slightly ooc kaz because i’m still not convinced i write him good enough lol

𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐊. the papers that littered kaz brekker’s desk consisted of the usual. detailed plans of their next heist, stacks of kruge, blueprints, and other important records. that’s what everyone saw. no one saw the papers, crumpled, inside the drawers of his desk.

those papers were letters, words strung together to confess a deep rooted love. an emotion that kaz brekker wasn’t believed to have. every letter had a different version of what he wanted to tell you, but never did. he couldn’t bring himself to be vulnerable, to feel the pull of the waves at his feet. he told himself that he’d do it one day, but one day never came. it was too late.

the day you left shattered kaz. he never showed how much it affected him, not in the ways that were normal. he was irritable, more so than usual. he was irrational, he didn’t think things through and he was reckless. he was the things that he’d scold the dregs for being. the crows noticed, though. they always did.

the letters in his desk would go unread by you. the words he’d fought so hard to get right.

i can’t live without you. he sounded desperate.

the reason i come downstairs every evening is to make sure you’re alright. it was true, but again, kaz didn’t like how vulnerable he sounded.

you deserve someone better.

why did you stay with me? why not the little palace? what can i offer you that the little palace cannot?

every small slip of paper, every page, it laid crumpled in a drawer in his desk. every word he’d dreamt of saying to you, it was tucked away in a place that not even he looked at often. he didn’t want to be reminded of the vulnerability that lurked within those letters, the little boy that he fought so hard to keep down showed his face. he didn’t realize how much he needed you until you weren’t there.

“he’s getting worse,” he heard jesper say, and he would agree. he would never admit it, he would never let them see he was struggling. they could never know.

“there’s not much we can do. y/n’s in ravka, we can’t exactly make a quick trip,” nina spoke up this time. you were in ravka, alongside those who truly understood you.

“no, we can’t, maybe we could write?” wylan proposed. oh how kaz wanted to write, but where would he send it? should he send one of the letters he wrote? no, he couldn’t. they’d stay in his desk, in the drawer that rarely ever saw the candlelight.

so, he sat at his desk, going through the motions. he was as stone cold as he always was, ruling with an iron fist over the dregs. they never questioned him, even if he seemed to make irrational decisions or risky moves. that’s what he was all about, right? he didn’t need anyone. he never did.

rumor spread quickly of a ravkan ship docking in fifth harbor. kaz was disgusted at the hope that bubbled up in his chest. was it you? did you finally come back? back to him? regardless, he wouldn’t be out there. he wouldn’t be out there to greet you even though a weak part of him wanted to. he had to maintain his reputation.

you weren’t on that ravkan ship. you weren’t on any of the ones that followed either. kaz began to believe that you were never coming back, that the letters would sit in his office to never be read.

“i never told you i liked these,” you spoke, a smile blossoming on your face. kaz hid his own smile before saying,

“you sound so sure that i gave you those,”

maybe one day you’d come back and he’d tell you that those books were from him, the books you’ve been dying to get your hands on. maybe one day you’d come back and those letters would reach your fingers. little did he know, that day would come faster than he thought.

the doors to the crow club opened and shut, signaling the arrival of a patron. kaz sat in his office, blueprints in front of him. it was the layout of a mercher’s mansion, a man who owed kaz kruge but hadn’t paid up yet. he didn’t pay attention to the commotion downstairs, he didn’t hear the joy that rose up from the club. he didn’t notice anything until a knock sounded on his door. he didn’t answer, knowing whoever was on the other side would just let themselves in.

the door opened, and shut softly. kaz didn’t raise his head, he didn’t meet eyes with the person who walked through the door. soft footsteps echoed across the room, and for the first time in an hour, kaz looked up from the blueprints and laid eyes on no one other than you. he hid his surprise, his relief, but he didn’t hide his irritation, the anger of you leaving him.

“ravka not all what it seemed to be?” he asked, forcing himself to look at the blueprints. he couldn’t stare at you for too long, he knew that if he did he’d fall.

“ravka was fine,” you said as you walked closer to the desk, your eyes flicking over the blueprints. your words vibrated in his chest, causing an ache. please keep talking.

“then why are you back?” he asked, lifting his eyes to look at you. he admired you under the candlelight, how it reflected off of your skin in a way that was warm, unlike the bloated bodies that haunted his mind. you met his eyes, an ache of your own burying itself in your chest. did he care that you were gone at all?

“maybe because i wanted to be back, but i can go if that’ll ease your mind,” you bit out. kaz caught it, too. he could no longer focus on the blueprints, so he kept his eyes on you, holding your eye contact.

“no,” he swallowed. please don’t leave. silence fell between you, and you just stood there, admiring him for a moment. the dark circles under his eyes, the lines of his face, the way his hair was disheveled. you knew that he was different based on the testimonies of the others, but they told you it was because you left. you didn’t believe them, why would he care if you were gone?

“the others said things were different,”

“things are fine,”

“are they?” you asked, “kaz, what’s going on?” his heart sped up, but he managed to keep himself calm. he didn’t want you to leave again, he couldn’t bare it.

“it’s none of your concern,”

“stop lying,” you were serious. he clenched his jaw, wanting so badly to fire something back. to tell you that you had no business talking to him like that.

“you’re bold to accuse me of such a thing,” he snapped back.

“maybe i am,” you fired back. he hated this. he hated arguing with you, especially when you were right, which was more than half of the time. silence fell between you again, and kaz only looked at you. his expression, reluctantly, fell. he was so fed up with the papers in his desk taking up room, but also reminding him of his weakness, you.

he walked around behind his desk and pulled out the drawer, pulling out the papers. you watched him, your own expression softening. he walked back to you, hesitating. he shouldn’t be doing this. what if you never felt the same? what if he mistook all of those soft touches for something else? or the time you so gently cleaned his wounds after a job gone wrong? 

he shakily held a letter out to you. the one that he thought was the best of the several. you took it, and opened it, reading it slowly and digesting it.

stay. stay in ketterdam.

you folded it up, a smile on your face, and put it back in his hands, folding his gloved hands over top of it. kaz looked at you, his eyes searching your expression. his stomach bubbled with the desire to kiss you and the waves that threatened to overtake him. he couldn’t lose you again, so, he took your hand and brought it up to his cheek. your hand was warm against his skin, just how he’d thought it would be. you softly caressed his cheek before pulling away, noticing the waves starting to overtake him.

“i’m not going to leave you, kaz brekker,” you whispered. so, his letters became the letters he never sent. you were able to read them from there.

this is the winner of the polls! hope you guys enjoy and get your fill!

[trouvaille12]

Okay okay here me out: if we get a a soc spin-off, imagine the wesper angst when Jesper finds out Wylan’s lied about who he is the whole time and then they have to go through the ice court heist together and then Wylan changes his face and Jesper doesn’t know and gets upset when he finds out because neither Kaz nor Wylan trusts him and OOF I’M READY

[wivver]

to be clear, s&b show kaz knows about wylans father being jan van eck—they hinted at it three times in the second season. when the crows were conversing at the diner, kaz spoke to nina, and subtly to wylan, that he wouldnt be able to protect them if they didn’t pursue his plans against pekka. when wylan and jesper revealed pekka had a son, wylan very carefully referenced his situation (he can’t control who his father is), being vague in jespers presence. their final scene, when kaz reveals they’re taking on a new job, you can see the traces of alarm on wylan, who is probably piecing it together that a job this big only comes from big money.

i’m not entirely confident that kaz also knows about his dyslexia, but theres a clip of wylan desperately trying to pick his fake identity card out from jespers, and kaz snatches up jespers card from his hands in a manner that made me think he knows.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Some little details you might have missed in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom

(Maybe part one?)

When discussing the Ice Court Heist at the start of the book Wylan explains that he speaks Fjerdan and although Jesper teases that he probably isn’t very good at it, the fact that Wylan has been to the Ice Court at least once before would beg to differ; as a diplomatic meeting it would probably be considered impolite if he and his family didn’t speak at least some Fjerdan when being hosted by what I assume to have been the royal family or at least higher-ups in the Fjerdan government. However, when he’s drawing up plans of the Court on the boat, Kaz asks why nothing is labelled and Wylan says “I don’t know Fjerdan”. He does, in fact, know Fjerdan (and it’s confirmed later that he speaks it well), but he is hiding the fact that he cannot write

In the Bathroom Scene™️ Kaz says that Inej’s tell is the way she squares her shoulders before making a move, “as if you’re waiting for the audience’s attention”. When Kaz goes to the slat in the next chapter, after the fight he squares his shoulders before making his speech to launch a coup against Per Haskell. I think this is really interesting and it absolutely shows what Inej realises at the time, that “the fight was just the opening act” but this, the talking and the convincing and the persuasion, this is Kaz’s superpower. I think this is so interesting and says so much about him, but it’s also a great Kanej parallel. More than any character I can think of, Kaz absolutely embodies the quote “I discovered at a very young age that if I talked for long enough I could prove anything right or wrong, so either I’m god or truth is relative. And either way, boo-yah” (which by the way is a quote from the brilliant sitcom Community)

This is my favourite Wesper parallel: in soc when Wylan uses a bomb to save them from the parem-drugged fabricator, Jesper says “Wylan earned his keep”. Wylan replies “Did I?” and Jesper says “Well, you made a downpayment”. At the end of Crooked Kingdom when the pair are able to go back to Wylan’s house because Van Eck has been arrested, Wylan asks Jesper if he really meant it when he said that he would stay and help run the business by reading to him, and Jesper says of course, but “I charge a pretty steep fee”. Wylan blushes and replies “well I hope the medik is here to fix my ribs soon, because I’d like to make a downpayment”. THEY’RE SO GODDAMN ADORABLE

This one I think is something people just forget, but Nina and Matthias are heavily implied to have slept together on Black Veil when they got from Ravkan embassy. The pair go to get changed and reappear “rumpled and rosy several long minutes later”. Jesper laughs when he sees them- he says “Staying on task?” to which Nina replies “I’m teaching Matthias all about fun. He is an excellent student, diligent in his studies” as Matthias gets progressively more and more embarrassed. But yeah I’ve never seen anyone talk about it I think people just forget

[reve-writes]

—anger; kaz brekker.

ʚ kaz brekker x reader | grishaverse | 0,8k words. ʚ based off of this request. | kaz gets angry and finds comfort with the reader. ʚ established relationship; kaz is ok with being touched by reader. ʚ a/n i am a sucker for kaz being whipped. like this man is 100% the biggest softie for his s/o. we all remember the line from the book where he wanted to bottle inej's laugh and get drunk on it every night. if you have more kaz/grishaverse reqs my asks are open!

Kaz likes to think that he has somewhat of a good grasp of his emotions. He puts on masks like turning the back of his hand. His favourite one, though, is the one he wears the most. Cool and polished, unfeeling. Stoicity that demands respect and fear—that instills intimidation.

It's not so easy to slip on that mask when his entire body practically hums with anger, his fingers twitch underneath the gloves. The desire to fucking hit something burning under the leather.

The reason is clear, being whispered in both fearful hushes and celebratory gasps: Pekka Rollins has been released from Hellgate.

Life has a way on turning a good thing into something bad. Kaz is used to it. He has come to expect it. Hell, he expects the Dregs to eventually fall apart. Expects the Crows to eventually leave him. Expects you to get fed up with him and pack your things.

He doesn't expect Pekka Rollins to be released—after all he's done to make sure the bastard ends up where he deserves to.

“Kaz—” An unfortunate Dregs member speaks, perhaps wanting to relay the message or simply making formalities.

Kaz spins around. The desire to swing his cane in a bone-breaking arc is there. He doesn't.

“Not one word.”

That's all he says. The air in the Crow Club turns suffocating—all tension and no reprieve. Everything is still being conducted as normal: barkeeps are serving drinks, gamblers are opening tables and customers are drinking and carolling. To those who know Kaz well enough, know his tells and his history with the leader of the Dime Lions, it feels like walking across a glass bridge. Every step is followed by the anticipation of falling through.

Jesper turns to look at Wylan, who glances at Nina and Matthias. The couple turns to Inej. The Wraith stares at you. Unspoken words are exchanged from across the room, over rowdy drunkards and laughing gamblers.

The door to Kaz's office on the second floor slams shut. A tremble goes through the frame. It gets lost quickly, swallowed by the hustle bustle of the Barrell, but you notice. Of course, you do.

You stare at the rest of your friends and find them looking back at you expectantly. Jesper tilts his head towards the stairs.

You sigh, putting up a hand towards them—your first two fingers are crossed over each other. Then, you're already on the steps, knocking at the door gently.

“Kaz?”

You hear a loud sigh.

“Can I come in?”

“You'll barge in anyway.”

You let out a soft chuckle and push the door open. He sits on his desk, one leg stretching out to balance his body while the other is bent. He shakes his knee idly. Both of his hands grab the edge of the desk that over hangs, fingers tapping periodically.

He spares you a glance under the brim of his hat and relaxes slightly. Your presence alone melts the tautness in his shoulders. It always does.

“Are you alright?”

“Never been better.” Sarcasm laces each word.

You sigh, approaching him. He doesn't flinch away when you step into his personal space—something that has taken years to work towards and you're grateful for the point you've reached together.

“It's inevitable, you know?”

Your words cut but they're nothing short of the truth. Someone as powerful as Pekka Rollins will eventually get out—it isn't a reach to conclude. Deep down, Kaz knows as well. He just likes to think that he finally is able to lock away that part of his past and throw away the key, but it always comes crawling back. Meaner than ever.

“I know, schatje,” he says, defeated.

You step closer and pull the hat off of his head. Your hand runs through his scalp to smooth out the flattened hair, combing through smooth, dark strands. He leans into the touch. One of his hands go to your arm and brings the inside of your wrist to his lips.

“Everyone was scared of you,” you tease, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips. He raises an eyebrow. You add, “Well, more than usual.”

He lets out a huff—the beginning of a chuckle. “As they should be.”

“You are not-so-scary right now.”

He buries his face in the crook of your neck. “Only for you.”

“Ever the charmer.”

His arms come to rest around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he lets you soothe the anger—calm the storm inside him.

“We'll get him again, Kaz,” you say, pulling away slightly to look at him. “Together, okay? We've done it once. What's a second time?”

He hums. “You're right.”

“I often am.”

“Well, except for that time—”

“Kaz!”

It seems that you've successfully staved him off of being consumed by his anger, once again.

[ ]

[webslinger-holland]

Hi I absolutely loved heal his heart and saw someone say your request are open so I was wondering if u could write kaz brekker x sick reader just how he would take care of her. I’m sick right now and it’s kicking my arse lmao

Hope nice day :)

Deathly Fever | Kaz Brekker

Warning: mentions of severe illness, mentions of traumatic childhood, mentions of needles and bloodletting

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Over the past few weeks, Kerch had become a victim to a new disease brought from the harbor. It spread rapidly, mainly through air circulation and proximity. Many people speculated that the disease originated from Shu Han as a few cases had been reported from there. Other than the few cases, there was really no proof of where it came from.

People began calling it the 'fragile fever.' This was because the first symptom to show was a high fever and people grew quite frail due to their weakened state. The Shu were working frantically to find some kind of antibiotic that would dissolve the bacterial infection, but they had no success thus far.

The number of casualties was rising rapidly, reporting nearly fifty deaths each day. It acted fast and could take a life in less than twenty-four hours. Ketterdam had fallen into a very dark time.

Being part of the Crows, Y/n was always busy with something. She often ran errands for the group, choosing to buy the needed supplies for most of their heists.

It was now mid-afternoon. She was heading back to the club for the day with a much needed roll of parchment and a new container of ink for her boss. She felt incredibly hot and had even broken out in a sweat despite it being particularly cold that day. She brushed it off as her wearing one too many layers.

Back at the Crow Club, the small group of six were gathered to sit around one of the empty tables. The club wasn't supposed to open for another two hours. In the meantime, the group worked on planning for their next heist. They talked amongst themselves.

"Another ten announced dead from the Financial District," Jesper announced with his nose buried in a newspaper. He dropped the paper onto the table.

"It's moving west," Inej realized. She briefly glanced down at the paper.

"Could reach the Barrel any day now," Matthias claimed. He had been leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No news from the Shu?" Wylan asked Jesper. His voice hopeful.

"Nothing that the papers are reporting," Jesper stated. He directed his gaze to look at his boss who sat across from him at the table. He could see that he was deep in thought. "Thoughts on closing the club?" Jesper wondered.

The others turned their heads and looked at their leader expectedly. But Kaz kept his gaze on the silver crow head attached to his cane. He pursed his lips together in thought before shaking his head at the notion.

"No," Kaz said firmly. "We need the business and we need the money."

In that exact moment, the long wooden doors swung open to announce the arrival of someone. The six crows immedielty shifted their gaze towards the source of the noise. Their eyes landed on the familiar figure of the seventh member of the crew. Though, she didn't look quite like herself.

She was covered in a thick layer of sweat, which was clearly evident on her face. She panted heavily to herself; her chest heaving with each breath she took. It looked like she had been running, but she truly hadn't been. The color was robbed from her face.

"I'm...back," Y/n said slowly and breathlessly. She sent them a weak smile, shuffling towards a nearby table to lower her supplies down.

The others quickly looked between each other as if expecting to find some kind of explanation. In the back, Kaz slowly rose to his feet with the help of his cane. His eyes remained on her frail figure.

"Y/n," Kaz called warningly.

It was almost like she didn't hear him because she just kept organizing the things she had brought back to them. Unbeknownst to all of them, Nina moved her hands in a particular motion underneath the table. She sensed her rapid heartbeat, which ultimately meant she probably had a fever.

"Kaz," Nina whispered under her breath. She discreetly turned her head to glance at him through the corner of her eye. "Her heartbeat," Nina began.

He didn't need to be told anything else. He knew what this meant. He inhaled a sharp breathe. He was rudely reminded of his haunting past with disease and how it claimed the life of his brother. He shuddered at the mere thought.

For a brief moment, Y/n felt the entire room go silent. She saw these black splotches begin to cloud her vision. Her head felt light almost. Before she knew it, Y/n had completely lost her footing and had fallen unconscious to the floor.

Without hesitation, the six crows had jumped to their feet in order to rush to her side. It had been Nina who had gotten to her first. She grabbed her shoulder to shift her body to lay on her side. Her fingers hovered over her chest to feel for a heartbeat.

Kaz stood towering over Nina's knelt figure, watching her with hawk eyes. Inej had closed her eyes to say a silent prayer in the background. Jesper had taken Wylan into his arms to bring him some form of comfort. Matthias stood there with as much anticipation as the others.

"She's alright. Just unconscious," Nina announced which made the whole group release a sigh of relief.

"Matthias, take her up to my office." Kaz ordered immediately.

In response, Matthias had dropped down to the floor right beside Nina. He slipped his large arm underneath the unconscious girl's neck, linking his other one under the hook of her legs. He checked to make sure she was secure in his arms.

"Inej, go fetch the doctor." Kaz turned to her. She immediately left their company without another word. "Wylan and Jesper, head down to the market to get medical supplies." Kaz finished.

The two boys nodded their heads understandingly. They rushed towards the entrance with the intent of running to the market as quickly as they could so they could return as soon as possible.

"I'll stay with Nina," Kaz said mostly to himself.

Now Matthias had risen to his feet with the much smaller girl in his arms. He tried to handle her with the utmost care, knowing that if he didn't, Kaz might just have his head. He carefully made his way up the spiral staircase with Nina and Kaz trailing behind him.

Nina went to open the door to Kaz's office. She stepped out of the way so that Matthias could slip through the opening of the office. He stood still for a moment, indecisive of what to do next and where he needed to put her.

"Right over there," Kaz gestured to the sole crimson couch in the corner. So Matthias moved towards the crimson couch. He leaned down to lower the body onto the surface of the couch.

Once Y/n was comfortably laid down, Matthias took a step back so that Nina could sit beside her and Kaz could monitor it all. Nina kept her hand hovering over her chest, concentrating on feeling the pace of her heart rate. She brought her other hand to the side of her dear friend's face, shifting some loose strands of hair out of her face.

Her hair had begun to stick to her skin. Her shirt had a noticeably sweat stain around her neckline. Her breathing was wavering slightly. She looked so sickly up close.

All of the sudden, Kaz didn't see one of his crew members laying on his couch, but instead, the image was replaced of his dead brother who was still covered in those deathly firepox spots and whose eyes had been glazed over. The haunting feeling of his skin being so cold and damp. It gave him chills just thinking about it.

The memories only forced him to turn his head away from the scene. He squeezed his eyes tightly as if trying to push out the images flashing through his mind. He felt a strong sense of bile rising in the back of his throat, threatening to release if he didn't get a grip on himself.

Unable to handle his thoughts any longer, Kaz had left the room in a hurry despite hearing Nina and Matthias calling after him. He slammed the door shut behind him, holding the handle tightly between his leather gloves.

He pressed his backside against the surface of the door and allowed his head to fall back. He closed his eyes once again. His breathing began to increase in speed as he failed to get the sickly image of one of his crows out of his head. His hands shifted to grasp onto the head of the crow cane, keeping him steady.

After a couple minutes of waiting outside, Kaz began to pace back and forth in front of the door. He ignored the slight ache in his right leg. All of the sudden, Jesper and Wylan came clambering up the staircase. They each held a small wooden crate full of vials, rags, and healing herbs.

Upon seeing Kaz, Jesper had halted in his place. He narrowed his eyes at him as if trying to figure out what was going on, but he couldn't figure it out. He cleared his throat to get his boss's attention.

"Got the supplies, boss." Jesper stated.

"Bring them to Nina. She'll know what to do," Kaz did not stop pacing.

With a single nod, Wylan went to enter the office with his supplies. Jesper went to follow him, but he stopped one final time. He stood directly in front of his boss.

"Coming?" Jesper wondered.

Kaz shook his head in denial. He refused to look at him. He took a single step forward to continue his pacing, pressing the tip of his cane against the solid wood floorboards.

In slight defeat, Jesper decided to drop the subject. He turned to walk into the office, joining the others in their attempt to bring their dear friend out of an unconscious state.

Time began to pass.

Before anyone knew it, the large celestial clock of a full moon was hanging high over Ketterdam. The skyline had outstretched its black view of night over the entire city. The stars were sprinkled against the dark sky, almost like salt spread across a table. The lights of the city glowed yellow in the night.

By now, though it had only been a few hours, Y/n's state had taken a turn for the worst. She still failed to wake up. Heavy bags lingered under her eyes and her eyelids had grown darker in color. Her face was still drained of all color and her sweat continued to be an existing condition.

The doctor had been called earlier. He had arrived no more than an hour prior. He checked for the usual symptoms for which he had been seeing every day now. He worked in complete silence. The five crows stood around him and could not take their eyes away.

In the background, Kaz made sure to make no noise as he reentered the office. He stood in the dark corner as he did not really want to be seen by anybody. He held his breathe in anticipation, awaiting to hear the doctor's diagnosis.

Ever so slowly, the doctor lowered her hand back down onto the couch since he had just finished taking her pulse. He reached up to remove the circular glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He turned his body around in the chair to address the others.

"Well?" Jesper asked rather impatiently.

"Is she going to be alright?" Inej asked worriedly.

"It's hard to tell," the doctor shook his head.

"Well, what is it? Is it the fever?" Nina persisted. Her fingers pinched a little gold necklace around her neck to ease her nerves.

"I'm afraid so," the doctor replied. "She has all the symptoms."

"What can you do for her?" Wylan pushed.

"Not much I can do," the doctor sighed. He went to open his medical bag, taking out a rather large empty syringe.

"W-what's that?" Wylan practically trembled at the sight.

"It's an option. I can try to bleed her, see if any of the bacteria can be extracted..." his voice trailed off despite his urge to further explain himself.

"But?" Jesper wondered.

"If I bleed her, it might finish her."

Upon hearing this, Nina closed her eyes as if trying to prevent the tears from falling. Matthias went to wrap his arm around her shoulder. Inej began another little prayer to herself. Jesper wiped his mouth with the palm of his hand.

"There is no promise I can save her," the doctor confessed truthfully. "The fever acts fast. Her body grows weaker with each second. I need to know now if you want to to proceed with this."

Hesitantly, the five other crows had turned their heads and looked over to their boss standing in the corner. His eyes remained on the wooden floorboards since he was contemplating his options. He closed his eyes to ignore the stares coming his way.

Even then, Kaz still could not look at her. He couldn't even face his crows, coming to the realization that they were dependent on him to make the final decision on this. He thought for a moment.

"Do what you need to do," Kaz said finally.

Over the next hour, the doctor worked ever so carefully. He had successfully inserted a long tube into her arm to transfer some blood out of her system. The excess blood fed into a single porcelain bowl.

In the given moment, Jesper and Wylan were sitting in one of the corners of the room. They talked quietly to themselves. Meanwhile, Inej had been kneeling at the foot of the bed with her hands folded and her head bowed in prayer. She hadn't gotten up since. Then Matthias was pacing the room as he grew more anxious and nervous with each passing second.

All the while, Kaz remained in his own dark corner. He stood leaning against the wall with the help of his cane for support. Anytime Kaz's eyes fell on the familiar figure on the couch, the haunting memories of his brother came flooding back into his mind. He opted to keep his eyes shut to keep the memories out.

Now Nina came back into the room with a bowl full of cold water. She held a dry rag in the other hand, carrying both of them to the small side table beside the couch. She went to dip the rag into the bowl of water, wringing it out afterwards.

She proceeded to place the wet rag on the sickly girl's forehead in hopes of relieving the heat she felt in her head and to bring down her fever. In response, Y/n turned her head from side to side father slowly. She moaned at the feeling.

After a moment, the doctor removed the single tube from her forearm. He cleaned it off with a spare handkerchief. Then he stood to his feet and took hold of his medical bag. He went to leave the room, but was ultimately stopped by the leader of the group. He halted suddenly.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kaz quirked an eyebrow at the doctor.

"I have other patients to see. Others like her who are dying right now," the doctor insisted while gesturing to the patient behind him. Kaz closed his eyes upon hearing the word 'dying.'

"Name your price," Kaz grumbled under his breath.

"I-I can't stay here," the doctor shook his head in denial. "I have to help others."

In any other situation, Kaz would have stopped the man before he could leave the room. He'd force him to stay there until she got better. He'd pay him all the money in the world if it meant that he could do something to help her. But alas, this time, Kaz let the man go.

Before leaving, the doctor came to a slow halt in his steps. He dropped his head down in slight defeat. He realized that he couldn't do much to help her and he wished he could have done more.

"She's contagious," the doctor announced. He stole a quick glance at the young faces around the room. "If you value your life, you should leave town as soon as you can."

The six crows were able to remain unfazed by the doctor's comment. They glanced between one another, mentally wondering if they were all thinking the same thing.

"No mourners," Kaz began.

"No funerals," the others agreed.

Without another word, the doctor dismissed himself from the company of the crows. The rest of them were left there, slightly uncertain of what to do next. There was a beat of silence.

"We'll take shifts," Nina announced, stepping forward. "Switch every three hours," Nina suggested.

"I'll take the first shift," Wylan offered with a slight raise of the hand.

"I will too," Inej said while standing to her feet.

Over the span of a week's time, the crows had taken turns alternating shifts. It operated in a smooth manner: Wylan and Inej, Matthias and Nina, Jesper and Kaz. Though oftentimes, Jesper was left alone during the shift because Kaz just couldn't stand the sight.

The doctor was only able to come briefly every other day, checking for any signs of improvement. Though they were all running low on energy and sleep, they couldn't begin to imagine how the doctor was since he looked like he hadn't gotten sleep in a whole week.

The city was restless. More people were dying every day. There were a limited number of doctors. They often were forced to pick their work from the person who could pay the most. This left the poor people dying on the streets with no medicine and no doctor at their disposal. Death leaned heavy over the city, claiming the lives of countless innocents.

During the early shift, Inej and Wylan would do anything in their power to make sure their dear friend was comfortable. They tried propping up pillows or covering her with blankets. Inej always prayed over her and Wylan liked to swipe the sweat off her brow with a wet cloth.

In the afternoon, Nina and Matthias were tasked with trying to feed her broth. They would shift her into a sitting position. Nina sat next to her and let Y/n lean her body against her side. This meant that her head was often tucked into the nook of the heartrender's neck. Then Nina raised a small wooden bowl of broth to her lips and helped her drink the warm liquid.

Matthias had to sit in front of the two women. He always made sure that she didn't fall over and that she remained conscious if possible. He wanted to help in any way possible.

In the evening, Jesper and Kaz took on their shift. Out of all the crows, Jesper was the one who tried to defuse the awkward tension. He refused to believe that one of his closest friends was on the brink of death. So Jesper talked.

Especially when Kaz stepped out of the room, Jesper talked to her about anything and everything under the sun. It was almost as if they were just having a regular conversation, but she never responded back. He truly believed that she could hear him though and this encouraged him to keep talking.

Though Y/n had regained consciousness, she was far too weak to even open her eyes or move her mouth to speak. She ate rather slowly and drank little water. Her throat burned with each swallow and her breathes had become strained from effort.

On one particular night, Kaz needed to step out of the room for his own reasons. As soon as the door closed, Jesper directed his attention to the figure who lay on the couch. He leaned forward in slight anticipation.

"This is killing him, you know? Kaz," Jesper said in a low tone of voice.

Upon receiving no verbal feedback, Jesper crossed his arms over the stretch of his chest. He breathed a long sigh of defeat. It felt like their efforts did nothing to help her. They saw no improvement. And it was so disheartening.

"I am already the looks of the operation," Jesper said cockily as always. His cheeky smile faded. His heart became overwhelmed with pure sadness. He felt the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. "I really don't want to be the heart now too," Jesper nearly chocked.

Without thinking, Jesper scooted forward in the wooden chair. He took hold of her limp hand with both of his own. He raised her hand to his lips, pressing a small kiss to the back of it. Then he leaned forward to rest his head against her hand. He cried softly to himself.

"I don't want you to feel bad if you have to go," Jesper cried. He lifted his head which meant the tears rolled down his cheeks. "We'll be alright," Jesper nodded.

Unbeknownst to him, Kaz had quietly opened the door in the background. His hand lingered on the door handle. He kept the door open just slightly to hear the conversation.

"I know what he means to you. And I know what you mean to him, even if he won't let you see it," Jesper added with a slight smile. "I'll look after him. I promise you that," Jesper whispered finally.

Suddenly, Jesper rose to his feet. He went to wipe the tears out of his eyes, sniffling once or twice in the process. He cleared his throat before saying what he thought would be a final goodbye. He pressed a single kiss to the top of her head.

"Goodbye, old friend."

When Jesper had turned around in his place, he was slightly surprised to see his boss standing in the middle of the room. He looked away as if he was embarrassed by his own tears. Instead of addressing it, Jesper simply pushed past him to leave the room and closed the door behind him. And it was just the two of them.

For the first time, Kaz went to sit in front of her. He was careful to lower himself into the wooden chair, forcing most of his weight to lean on his cane. He rested for a beat.

Lowering his gaze to stare down at his black leather gloves, Kaz tried not to think about the painful memories. He just couldn't shake the image of seeing his brother's dead corpse, lifeless and unmoving just like she had nearly been all week.

Now Kaz forced himself to take a deep breath before lifting his line of sight to settle on her sleeping figure. Instead of seeing his dead brother, Kaz was overwhelmed at the mere sight of one of his dearest friends. He wasn't an emotional person normally; he always hid his emotions rather well.

But finally being able to look at her made a part of him break inside. His heart physically ached in pain. He clenched his jaw in order to keep the tears at bay. He felt the anger rising within him.

Why did this have to happen again to him? Why was the world so against him? If saints truly exist, why didn't they save his brother or her by now?

He grew angry at the world just like he had been when Jordie died. He wanted his revenge, but this time, there was nobody to get revenge on. He couldn't help her and couldn't save her.

"I..." Kaz's voice trailed off because he couldn't think of the words.

His eyes trailed down from her face to her hand that was tucked at her side. He slowly moved his hand forward so he could take her hand into his gloved ones. He held her hand.

In a way, Kaz wanted the gesture to bring her some sense of comfort. It acted as a way for her to know that he was there beside her. But in a way, it became more of a comfort for him as he realized she was still with him. She hadn't left yet.

"I'm sorry," Kaz said for the first time.

The Bastard of the Barrel had never been known to apologize to anyone. However, in this particular moment, Kaz felt utterly hopeless. He wished to save her, but he knew he couldn't and he was sorry for it.

"We always say 'no mourners, no funerals.' But I think if you left us...I would mourn for you," Kaz confessed truthfully. "I'd mourn every day for the rest of my life, thinking back on all the times I could have said something about my..."

For his sake, Kaz chose not to finish that sentence. He feared a confession would bring him too much pain at a time like this. He'd save it for now.

"Doesn't matter now," Kaz shook his head. "You'll leave me now here soon. Just like Jordie."

In utter defeat, Kaz rose to his feet and let go of her hand in the process. He went to leave the room without another word. He closed the door behind him as if trying to close another chapter of his life. He couldn't handle it anymore. He broke.

In the very early hours of the morning, Kaz was awoken by a single sun beam hitting the side of his face. He opened his eyes to realize that he had fallen asleep in a chair downstairs. His line of sight was directed to the perch above the club and to the door of his office. It was slightly ajar.

Now Kaz didn't think much of it. That was until he heard a soft sobbing sound coming from upstairs. His heart plummeted into the deepest and darkest confines of his chest. Was she...

The hardest thing he had to do was stand to his feet as he almost felt like he didn't have the energy anymore. He forced himself to climb the spiral staircase, stopping at the very top. He saw Inej sitting on the floor beside the door. Her hands covered her face as she let out small sobs.

Just then, the door of the office opened slightly more. His right hand man stepped out of the room with large tears in his eyes. He took a single step forward to stand in front of his boss. Then Jesper broke out in a smile.

This look was all that Kaz needed. He pushed right past him to enter the room in a hurry. He halted in his steps.

Upon hearing someone enter the room rather loudly, Wylan had turned his head towards the door and revealed Y/n who was sitting up on the couch. She sat next to Nina who was making sure she didn't fall over and who was helping her drink some water.

For some unknown reason, Y/n looked like herself again. All the color had returned to her face. She wasn't covered in a thick layer of sweat since her fever dropped. The dark bags under her eyes had also disappeared from sight. Her eyes were so wide open. Had they always been that color? She looks different; she looks beautiful.

It all made sense now. Inej had been crying tears of joy because her prayers had finally been answered. Jesper had to leave the room because he was so overwhelmed with emotions. She made it through. She was a survivor.

Rather slowly, Kaz limped across the stretch of the room. He refused to take his eyes off her in fear that this all might be some kind of horrid dream. The other crows looked between the two of them, knowing that there was some type of unspoken thing. He stopped right in front of her.

"You're okay," Kaz breathed in a soft whisper. "You didn't..."

"Leave you? Never," Y/n smiled in retort.

"I-I thought I'd lost you," Kaz spoke as if the others weren't in the room. She only smiled up at him.

"You can't get rid of me that easy."

[crazyyluvr]

hi! Can I please please ask a kaz brekker x reader? I was thinking of reader being a blind heartrender. I headcanon blind grishas to have their abilities amplified, and a blind heartrender would be basically daredevil XD.

Thank you in advance for reading the request, I really loved six of crows!

I am the QUEEN of Hearts, Don't Tell Me Otherwise

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

summary: Having a blind Heartrender has its perks. For Kaz Brekker, having a blind Heartrender that can hear his heartbeat change around her has its disadvantages.

genre: fluff

wc: 3.4k

content: reader is blind, fem!reader with she/her prns, violence (some torture), reading is a bit clumsy, kaz's heart speeds up a lot

note: OMG I LOVE THIS IDEA <33 tysm for requesting anon. i hope this layout is fine, i just wanted to try something different. sorry if it's kinda bad, i wrote it in one sitting LMFAO. either way, hope u enjoy!!

oneshot under the cut :: not edited

Perks

1. You didn't need your eyes to see.

It was very useful in heists to have someone who knew that someone was walking towards them without having to actually see them. Being blind somehow enhanced your hearing and your touch on your Grisha powers, and that was why you could do a lot of things easier than other Heartrenders — even Nina — had difficulty with.

It was one of the main reasons why you stuck with Kaz when he had to crack a safe; you were basically his lookout.

"Someone's around three minutes out," you whispered to him, standing a few paces behind Kaz who was hunched over a safe. Your head was tilted to the side, your ears were focusing on a melody only you could hear.

"Scratch that, two minutes out, they're moving faster," you reported. "Are you almost done?"

Kaz focus on the complicated lock didn't break as he replied, "I need more time."

"Okay," You moved forward, hands in front of your thighs to guide you around the desk in front of you.

"Thirty seconds," You said, the heart beat of the approaching guard getting louder and louder. "How down?"

"Shut-eye," He replied.

You put your hand up in front of you.

The doorknob jingled a little, and you activated your power, drastically slowing the heartbeat of the guard before he could open the door. You heard a thud on the floor, and you knew that he was unconscious.

A few seconds later, the safe clicked open. Kaz reached in and grabbed the money that you came for. "You could have at least tried to soften his fall or something. Someone could have heard that."

You shook your head. "There's no one close enough to hear." You turned to Kaz's voice, a small smirk on your lips. "Besides, It's just the two of us. I didn't want to leave you alone, 'cause you'd miss me too much."

Kaz rolled his eyes. "Don't feed your ego. It's not a fitting sight for you."

You laughed a little. "Like you don't do that everyday."

You turned to get out of the room, opening to door to free yourself. The door opened halfway before it suddenly stopped, like it was blocked by something. You didn't expect the obstruction, which caused you to trip over something and fall to the floor with a loud bang on the wooden ground.

Kaz stood over you in concern. You had tripped over the unconscious guard's body. "I thought his body was facing the other way," you groaned.

Kaz didn't have time to reply before both of you heard shouts in the corridors. Looks like they could hear that. He used his cane to get hold of the back of your jacket and pulled you to your feet.

"Time to go!" You dusted yourself off, leaping over the body and speedwalking away from the thundering of more guards, Kaz right at your heels.

2. You could always tell if someone was distressed.

You didn't live in the Slat, since you preferred to have your own place away from the gang, but that didn't make you any less close to Jesper, Inej, Wylan, Nina, and Matthias. You visited the Crows often, whether it be in the Slat or Crow Club.

You knew how important getting together was to them, whether or not they'd admit it. In a life full of mistrust and traitors, it was hard to find a crowd that you could actually trust. Of course, your friends had their own secrets that they kept to themselves, like how you had your own, but being with them without the pressure of telling them those stories was precious.

You were able to loosen up around them, laugh with them without the fear of judgement or that these moments of vulnerability would be used against you.

Instead, you relied on them to just forget your current struggles as you talked about stupid things over drinks.

You also used it as a chance to check up on them. You couldn't see them but you could hear them. Being blind made you sharpen your hearing more, both with our without the use of your Grisha abilities.

You could tell when there was something bothering your friends, which is why you knew there was something bothering Wylan when you and your friends decided to share some drinks in the Crow Club.

Jesper was mid-argument with Nina about what came first: the chicken or the egg. Inej and Matthias were just listening to them, occasionally adding their own thoughts or laughing when either of the debaters made a particularly stupid point.

You noticed that Wylan wasn't talking as much as he normally did. You felt him fidgeting beside you, his arm or his leg twitching more than it usually does.

If those weren't enough of a sign that there was something weighing on his mind, then there was his heart that also proved that point. It never seemed to settle. His shallow breaths that occasionally came in huffs of frustration agitated the muscle in the middle of his chest, making it beat faster than normal.

"Hey," you whispered to him, breaking him out of his troubled trance. He looked at you curiously. "Are you okay?" You asked, your brows unknowingly furrowing in concern.

"I'm fine," Wylan said, smiling reassuringly.

You rolled your white eyes. "You do know that fake smiles won't work on the blind, right?"

Wylan's smile dropped, shocked. "How did you know I was smiling?"

"I didn't," you shrugged, taking a sip from your glass. "I just guessed. But seriously, is there something wrong? You seem more distressed."

Wylan sighed, leaning back in his chair. He looked around at your table, and when he confirmed that none of your companions were paying the two of you any mind, he answered truthfully. "My dad's still sending me letters."

"I hope you've burned those letters," you huffed, feeling your blood boil quietly at the mention of Wylan's horrible sperm donor. "He's just trying to provoke you, make you feel worthless."

"But —"

"Don't even try to tell me that you are worthless, Wylan," you said harshly, turning your head towards him despite your blank eyes not meeting his gaze, instead staring through him. That did nothing to lessen the defiance in them. "You may not be able to read, but who cares? I can read for you, Jesper can read for you. That's kind of the point of having friends, we'll make up for whatever you lack."

Wylan thought about it for a moment. You could tell that your words worked on him from the way his breaths eased and his heart steadied.

"Yeah..." A smile slowly spread on Wylan's lips, a genuine one this time. "Thanks."

"Anything to stop your very loud heartbeat from distracting me," you joked, making Wylan laugh.

Kaz watched the interaction from the bar, his eyes unreadable as he turned back to his drink, finishing it before heading upstairs without another word.

3. Lies couldn't hide from you.

Kaz swung his cane, the crow handle finding its mark on the man's knee, hitting it with a sickening crack. He cried out in pain, keeling over but not going that far due to his hands chained to the ceiling.

The man was a spy placed in the Dregs. You found him when you were having a private heist meeting and heard his heart lingering out the front door.

So now, you were both trying to find out who hired the traitor — well, more like Kaz was beating him up for answers while you served as his lie detector.

"Who are you working for?" Kaz said, repeating the question he's been drilling into the man for the past hour. Despite the way he was pathetically sobbing, he still refused to give up the name of his boss.

Not out of loyalty, but out of fear, you thought, taking note of the way his heart beat at a pace only set by fear. Fear not only for what Kaz could and would do to him, but also fear for what would happen if he gave Kaz what he wanted.

"Olek!" He cried. Kaz, blood splattered on his black vest that was exposed from his decision to abandon his coat for mobility, turned to you expectantly.

You shook your head. "Lie."

Kaz swung his cane again without hesitation, this time bringing hitting the man's chest. The man's scream in pain was worse than before.

Kaz probably broke a few ribs, you thought offhandedly, only flinching in disgust when you felt some of the blood from the man's mouth hit your cheek. You wiped it off immediately.

"I was telling the truth!" He yelled, sobbing. "I was telling the truth!"

Kaz used his cane to tilt the man's head up by the chin, forcing him to meet Dirtyhands' cruel stare. He would receive no mercy, as there was nothing that could be given in the first place.

"My Heartrender said you lied, so you lied," Kaz said through gritted teeth. "If she keeps saying otherwise, you will die for this boss of yours. Are you willing to give your life for someone who could care less about it?"

When he received no response other than cries, Kaz prepared to hit with his cane again.

"Karlos!" The man screamed, pausing Kaz mid-swing. "Karlos Drulak!"

Kaz didn't turn to you before you spoke, your smile heard in your voice behind him. "There's our answer."

Your satisfaction was mutual, as Kaz's shoulders let go of some of its tension as he straightened — well, as much as he could without relying on his bloodied cane. "Finally." He readjusted his gloves and turned around, limping away, only stopping to speak to you.

"Send him to the grave."

Your smile widened into a grin, your teeth flashing in the lamplight. "With pleasure."

Kaz left you to your business, the screams of terror fading into the night as he went to the Slat to formulate a plan with the new information he'd just gained.

—————

Disadvantages

1. You didn't need your eyes to see him.

You always knew it was him.

Whether he would enter the Crow Club to find you drinking with Jesper, or he'd knock on your apartment door with an important matter in mind, or even just passing by him in a busy market despite the noise and the multiple heartbeats.

You always noticed him.

It bugged Kaz. He knew that no matter what other disguises he may put on, no matter whether or not he had his cane to tap on the tiles of the road or the wood of the Crow Club or the Slat, you always knew it was him.

He stood in front of your door, staring at the number in front of him. The plan for your heist the next day had undergone many changes, and he had to inform you of them.

He took a deep breath, raising his knuckles to knock.

"Come in, Kaz," you called, voice muffled from inside the apartment. It always happened when he popped by; he'd inhale, prepare to knock on the door, only for you to interrupt him and just tell him to go in.

He let out a quiet huff almost fondly. Of course she knew.

He opened the door, letting himself in. "You knew it was me." It was a question said as a statement. That's just how Kaz normally speaks when he's curious but wants to hide the fact that he's curious, but you could always tell the difference.

"Of course," you said, not looking up from your construction of your beverage. Your hands had eyes of their own, moving to the familiar spots of your condiments. "Your heartbeat."

"Everyone has their own, do they not?"

You laughed, meeting his jab with softness. "Yeah, they do, but none of them quite beat like yours."

Kaz's heart sped up a little at the words, and he knew that he couldn't hide it from you. Your knowing smirk just made him feel warmer.

2. You could always tell when he was distressed.

Kaz wasn' the only one who had access to unannounced appearances.

You made it a habit of appearing randomly in his office just like him visiting you in your apartment, but unlike Kaz, you sometimes came there just for his company, to just sit down on the spare chair in front of his desk and read or draw or whatever your mood makes you do. Neither of you say a word, but you could tell that he was also content with the arrangement.

You found Kaz seeming more distraught than usual, the normally steady beat of his heart thundering like a skittish horse that was cornered by unwanted oppressors.

Kaz didn't look up from his the papers on his desk when your signature knock reverberated in his space, or when you swung the door open to let yourself in.

"Is there something wrong?" You asked casually, approaching your seat and sinking into it. There was something oddly comforting about the hard wood resting on your back, like an anchor in an unknown sea.

Kaz tilted his head to look at you, eyebrows raised. "What makes you think there's something wrong."

You playfully waved your hand in Kaz's general area. "You gave off a distraught aura the moment I stepped into the room."

Kaz scoffed, making you smile. That was the closest thing you'd get to a laugh from him.

You let your playful persona slip as your face blanked, your white eyes staring at him seriously. "Kruge for your thoughts?"

Kaz studied you for a moment, before leaning back in his chair with a sigh. He ran a gloved hand through his slightly messy hair in frustration. "Per Haskell gave away one of two of our storage units for twelve thousand kruge."

Your eyebrows shot up in shock. "Just twelve thousand?"

"Exactly," Kaz huffed. "I'm trying to get it back, but the buyer's refusing. They haven't even moved in yet, and I already told them I can return the money they gave."

Kaz intertwined his fingers with each other, thinking deeply.

His dilemma also put your brain to work, shuffling through the possible solutions.

"Who bought it?" You asked.

"Karlos Drulak," Kaz said. The name sounded familiar to you.

You snapped your fingers, pointing to Kaz's left side. Kaz lifted his cane and moved your finger to point directly at him like you intended.

"Ah thank you," you said before continued. "He's the one who hired the other dude! The one who infiltrated the Dregs."

Kaz perked up slightly at the memory. How could that have slipped from his mind?

"Do you think that him buying our unit can be related to his unknown issue with us?" You wondered aloud.

"That's certainly a possibility," Kaz hummed.

You grinned. "See? Your heartbeat has already slowed."

You stood up, hefting the book you never opened in the office with you. "Well, I'll leave you to your thoughts. I'm sure you can figure it out on your own."

"Are you leaving me because you don't want to brainstorm?" Kaz rose an eyebrow in slight amusement as you made a beeline for the door, your feet having already memorized the layout of the room.

Your chin hooked on your shoulder to give him a view of your grin. "Too much of something is bad. Even thinking."

You gave him a lazy salute as you left, but as you closed the door, you could have sworn you heard a laugh escape the man's lips over the faster beating of his heart.

3. He couldn't lie to you.

Kaz's hearing was muffled from the sound of ringing in his ears. He forced his eyes to open, blinking hard to try and shake away whatever spell unconsciousness casted upon him.

He saw you crouching over him, eyes staring down at his chest, where you had a hand over. You must've revived him.

He felt panic thrum in his veins, his hands moving before he could stop them from slapping your palm away from him.

"Kaz!" Your voice was oddly muffled as he tried to stand up. His bad leg didn't cooperate with his wishes as he fell back down on the rough ground.

He looked back at you, and now you kept a respectable distance from him, your form framed by flame with worry creasing your forehead and pulling the corners of your lips downwards. He barely heard your next words: "Breathe!"

He forced his chest to comply, inhaling the smoky air and exhaling with a cough.

Two more of those, and you held out his cane for him to grab, slightly askew. He hesitated, but grabbed on it, letting you pull him to his feet using his cane. He was swaying on his feet, and you could tell from his slowing heartbeat that he was close to fainting from smoke inhalation.

"I know you don't like being touched, but you can't walk out of here without me helping!" You shouted. You felt pity pinch your chest at the ay Kaz’s heart sped up at that. You didn’t want to force him but you had no choice.

You didn't have time to wait for him to regain his bearings as part of the flaming roof collapsed mere feet away from you two. You flinched at the bang, but you didn't hesitate to sling his arm around your shoulders and drag him out of the room, snatching Kaz's cane and using it as your guide to the entrance right before you felt the flames lick the back of your coat.

Kaz furiously patted the small patch of flame on your back to extinguish it. He felt the water on his waist slowly rising, but he tried to push it down.

It was just you, his Heartrender. He'll be fine.

"C'mon, Jes is waiting for us at the rendezvous," you said, your voice strained from carrying most of Kaz's weight. He tried to walk on his own, to lessen your burden, but his body was too weak for it.

You left the building, Karlos Drulak's brand-new bar. Hey, at least the color of the fumes complimented the brown...?

Jesper caught you two and rushed forward to help, but you stopped him with a single shake of your head. It took a lot for Kaz to just let you keep him upright, what more if Jesper added to that?

You both hobbled as one to a safe distance before Kaz collapsed inside an alleyway. He took deep breaths, trying to fight the black roses of anxiety that bloomed in the corners of his vision.

"Kaz, look at me," you spoke, feeling his heart rate spike, but you weren't sure what you could do to help. "Kaz, what can I do?"

"Talk," He strained. "Distract me."

"Uh — okay, okay," your brain scrambled for some story to pull up, so it decided to bring you a memory from your childhood. "There was a time where I revived a dog of my old neighbor when I was seven years old," you said, your eyes trained on his chest like you can see his heart. "My parents were off to work, so they left me with the neighbor, and his heart just stopped beating. The neighbors didn't know what to do, but I just put a hand on him and willed his heart to beat again. He lived for seven more years after that before he peacefully passed."

"You should have let that dog die," Kaz gasped, but his breaths were slowly evening out. "I hate animals."

You smiled lightly. "Liar."

"How can you tell I'm lying? My heartbeat's already all over the place," Kaz huffed.

"I don't need my power to tell that you're lying," you said, shaking your head fondly. "I know you Kaz. In the years that we've worked together, I got to know you. I know you feed your scraps of food to the strays behind the Crow Club, which is why they keep coming back for more."

"Didn't know anyone noticed," Kaz said, his breaths more symmetrical as his vision cleared.

You laughed. "You really expected me to not notice?" Kaz saw how you hesitated, how your smile faltered before you continued with seriousness lacing your voice. "I always notice when it comes to you."

Kaz sighed, gently grabbing the cane from you and hauling himself to his feet. "Let's go to the Slat. Better make sure that the others know we're alive."

"Wow, you want to tell them you're alive so they don't get worried?" You cooed, walking a few feet beside him and syncing your steps with him. "Soft is a good look on you."

"Shut up, Heartrender," He grumbled, but a small smile broke through his face.

"Your Heartrender," you sang, skipping slightly knowing that he can't deny you from the sudden speed of his heart.

He shook his head, the smile still not leaving his face as you both walked.

His Heartrender indeed.

[ashessonfire]

Part two of 'Intruder' <3

'Intruder' Kaz Brekker x Reader (part 2)

Prompt - A few months had passed since you stumbled into the crow club, leaving the crows curious as to who they were. How will the crows react to the most vulnerable secret of Kaz Brekker finally being revealed?

- Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Civilian!Reader (Gender neutral) - Warnings: none? again just Kaz being soft, some mentions of the break in but literally PURE FLUFF

A/N: Once again i am incredibly grateful for all the love and support, and hopefully i have done justice with this part two! it can be read as a stand alone, some of the context will be confusing, but hopefully still just as cute! if you haven't read the first part, you can find it here!!

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A couple of months had passed since your less than ideal first meeting with the crows. Since that frantic day, your locks had been switched to the latest designs, being inspected thoroughly by your lover until even he, the master of his trade, struggled to crack them.

Although you were still paranoid beyond belief each time you turned the key to your home, the knowledge that Kaz had thoroughly ensured your protection settled the nerves fluttering in your chest. Frequent visits from your husband weren’t unusual, often slipping away from his desk during the earliest hours to bask in your company, allowing you to bathe him with love and affection, something he had slowly accepted and found he thoroughly enjoyed, only on one condition.

It had to be from you.

But since that night, he came over more frequently, stopping off after heists with gifts he had ‘bought’, or dropping in to work on blueprints, stating that there was too much paper cluttering the desk in his usual space, making you smile at his blatant lies just to be closer to you.

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Kaz vigorously battled with his mind on the night you visited the crow club, having to repress his heart's wishes to stay with you, for your safety, and his peace of mind.

However, he dragged himself back, leg stiffening in the frigid air, sending sharp bolts of pain through to his bone. Yet that wasn’t what plagued the man as he limped back to the slat. What haunted him most was the idea that he would have to confront his crows about his one true weakness.

Evidently being you.

Kaz demanded each crow's presence, ordering them to his office as soon as the sun began to slowly bleed its light into the impenetrable darkness of Ketterdam. Once they were situated in the cramped room, he hardened his gaze and lowered his voice, morphing it into a deadly tone.

“I am aware that last night may have surprised you, however you are not to speak a word of it to anyone. Not to dregs, customers, or civilians. Do I make myself clear?” Kaz bit out, leading Jesper to swallow thickly, Nina to shift her gaze to the condensation on the windowpane, and Inej and Wylan to both find wonderfully interesting specks of dirt on the panels of the floor.

The crows remained true to their word, still in awe at the mysterious figure who seemed to have tamed the Bastard of the Barrel, but far more scared of the consequences that may come with disobeying their boss’s order. However, Kaz had made a grave mistake with his command, demanding your existence to remain unbeknownst to the dregs, but never specifying that they were forbidden from discussing you with each other.

You became somewhat of a legend amongst the crows, appearing frequently in gossip which they housed in their cramped rooms at the slat, waiting for the clicking sound of a cane and heavy footsteps to disappear into their owner’s office to begin discussion.

“How long do you reckon they've been together for? I mean, I have never seen Kaz holding anyone’s hand before,” Nina mumbled through a mouthful of pastry, whilst wearing a highly quizzical look.

Jesper smirked at the group, “How did Kaz even manage to find someone like that, furthermore, how did Kaz keep it a secret for so long?” the sharpshooter questioned, one eyebrow raised far above the other. “They seemed so lovely, its surprising Kaz would let someone like that so close to him,” Inej chimed in, sharing a similar curiosity towards you.

As the weeks rolled on, the crows began dropping subtle hints to their leader of their interest in meeting you formally, evidently following the rules of the warning he dealt on the night of the intrusion. Curiosity was consuming the group, and even Kaz couldn’t deny his intensifying wish to display his proudest achievement to his closest friends, his relationship with you.

Unbeknownst to the crows, you too had been troubling Kaz about meeting his friends, desperate to erase your first impression on them and truly show yourself, not the terrified stranger begging for comfort.

After several nights of thorough bargaining with your husband, he reluctantly agreed to introduce his group to you, on the condition that you would be far from the Barrel’s hotspots, somewhere unreachable by rival gang’s watchful eyes. Squeezing Kaz’s hands tight, and giving him an appreciative kiss, you bound off to prepare for tomorrows event, leaving a softly smiling husband in your wake.

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Kaz couldn’t decipher his emotions as they rushed through him at an alarming pace, feeling anxious, excited, and fearful all at once. The pair of you had settled for your favourite café, a small establishment on the outskirts of the city, residing on a flower ridden street, colourful lanterns hanging like falling stars from ropes above the houses. The sight was a direct juxtaposition of the intensity found in your husband’s usual Barrel life, but a contrast which never failed to warm Kaz’s heart whenever he stepped foot there with you.

Dressed in your finest, you waited anxiously at the largest table the cramped café had to offer, adorned with scented candles, besides an array of flowers you had picked early that morning, dew still dripping from a few of the glistening forget-me-nots. You sat beside Kaz, gripping tightly to his gloved hand, the other fidgeting with the edge of his coat as a distraction.

Kaz instantly picked up on your nervous state, squeezing your hand in reassurance and brushing a whisp of fallen hair out of your gently lit eyes, staring long enough to just catch the flicker of the candles within your irises. “They’re only my crew, darling. If they do anything wrong I will…” Kaz began, but he was cut short by your breathy laugh. Apparently, the wrath of your husband against those who threatened you extended even to his closest and most trustworthy companions.

The door swung open, revealing a well dressed set of crows, their eyes steering directly to the couple before they briskly made their way over to you. A sudden fear rose within you, but you refused to display the same expression you had at the crow club, willing to give your best performance until the feeling subsided. You shot each one a welcoming smile, exchanging pleasantries as they made themselves comfortable.

The fear shattered within you as you took each of the crow’s expressions in, which all seemed to strangely resemble awe? Excitement? Your initial confusion was brought to a standstill as Kaz turned to them, stating clearly, “Everyone, this is Y/N, my wife,” offering a tight-lipped smile to his friends.

Nina suddenly spat out her drink, eyes bulging as Jesper made a choking sound somewhere in the back of his throat. Inej and Wylan sat looking dumbfounded, the boy’s jaw hanging slightly open.

“Uhmm. Excuse me, let’s take a few steps back, shall we? Wife?!” Jesper exclaimed, completely in astonishment. Kaz took a deep breath in before tightening his hold on your hand, clearly apprehensive to reveal his most vulnerable softness to his friends, who had rarely seen more than a smirk from their stoic boss. As the crows gathered their thoughts and tried to configure logical reasoning as to what had been revealed, the elderly owner of the café hobbled over, giving Kaz a toothy grin.

“It’s been a while Mr Brekker! I was wondering when we would be graced with your presence again, I have already prepared your regular, peach pie with…” The woman began but was cut off sharply by a “Thank you,” from Kaz, as he turned his head to hide his embarrassment. Nina let out a snort as the other three simultaneously burst into giggles, causing you to fall victim to the contagiousness of the laughter.

By this point Kaz was beyond mortified, being called out as a ‘regular’ at a joyful family-run café at the edge of the Barrel, as well as having his guilty pleasure exposed to his crew who he was positive would never let this go.

Despite this humiliation, Kaz felt a drop of warmth seep into his chest at the sight of you conversing with his friends, immediately connecting with each one of them. He felt something moving inside of him, deciding it was probably you, chipping away at his apparently impenetrable walls.

As the late afternoon clouds faded into the evening haze, the group departed with delighted goodbyes and warm hugs, establishing the beginning of many trips to visit Kaz’s (now) not-so-secret wife. You left them armed with new candles for the slat, baked goods, and most impressively, trinkets from the market which you had bought personally for each crow, going solely off your husband's descriptions of each individual.

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A glowing warmth radiated from the couple as you both walked, fingers entwined, back to your home, taking in the constellations which lit up the tranquil streets you winded through. Kaz decided to reward himself with a rare but well-earnt night in, with the single intent of being doused in your affection.

Kaz smiled lovingly down at you, as you peacefully slept wrapped in his shirt and coat, wiped out by the intense emotions that poured through you that day.

Crouching down slowly, your husband fiddled with a stray piece of your hair, admiring how the serene glow from the fire softened your features, catching in your figure perfectly, framing your face in a halo of light.

He settled down next to you, exhausted but proud. Proud of how far you two had come, which flooded him with a sense of relief. Because as it turns out, his crows could undoubtedly see the same beauty he was blinded by within you.

And it was clear in this moment, both to him and his crew, that Kaz Brekker was more than just in love with you. His entire existence was plagued with sentiment for you, and for once Kaz couldn’t seem to view it as a weakness, rather a sign that something deep inside him was healing.

“I love you, darling of my heart,” Kaz whispered as he kissed you goodnight.

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