#jay halstead x mouse

[saragarnier]

Away from you

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: y/n doesn’t know where Jay truly is and she got worried

Warning: angst, slightly smut, cheating,

A/N: i will probably write a part 2, stay tuned!

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Next part

You and Jay had been together for three years and everything looked good, at least it was ‘till the end of the march. You didn’t know or understand why he changed his behavior when he was with you, especially since it all happened so quickly and unexpectedly that you just couldn’t understand what happened between you two. From one day, he just started to behave differently, coming home later and telling you that he was just too busy at work, doing some paperwork and getting his things ready for the next shift. He made it looked like he was just trying to impress Voight and for a moment you actually believed him.

You knew how much he wanted to become, one day, sergeant and to be on the lead of his own unit and you just wanted to support him in any ways you could; if he wanted to make a good impression in case of a new sergeant, you wouldn’t have stop him. Actually, it looked like Voight was having some issues lately, from how Jay talked about him after work anyway, and you really trusted him and believed him about his story.

Then, one evening, you decided to go talk with Kim, having some times together and trying to explain to her what you had in mind: Jay’s birthday was closer than you thought and you had to find a good gift for him.

“I need you to help me.” You said to Kim, smiling softly. “Jay’s birthday is in two weeks and i want to surprise him with a two-days holiday. I know that he spends a lot of time at the district doing his paperwork and trying to make a good impression in case of a promotion, but i really need your help. Can you please find a good reason to get him home earlier on Friday’s night?”

Kim was surprised by your statement, not because of the surprise you were preparing for him, but for what you said about him staying at the district till late.

“What do you mean that he spends a lot of time at the district to make a good impression? He always leaves before me, actually he arrives earlier to complete the paperwork he usually leaves at the end of the shift.”

You were confused, you were really confused. What did that mean? If he usually left the district early in the evening, why he came home every night after 11 pm, when you were already sleeping?

“Uhm… he usually doesn’t come home before 11 pm.” You whispered, looking at Kim while your mind raced through all the nights you waited for him to come back home, before falling asleep because of the tiredness of the day at work.

“Y/n, i swear to God that he usually leaves at 7 pm, 8 pm if we’re up to something ‘till late.” Kim said, looking sadly at you, while something you didn’t want to admit passed through her mind.

“But… it doesn’t make sense.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “What does he do between 7 pm and 11 pm then?”

The girl just shook his head, looking ad you sadly and placing her hand on yours, trying to reassure you in some ways. “Maybe it’s not something you have to worry about, maybe it’s just some stuff he had to do or, maybe, it’s just a bad moment for him. I remember he was like this when he suffered from PTSD.”

You nodded, but it didn’t make sense anyway. You remembered when Jay suffered from PTSD because you were always by his side, you were always there for him and you followed him step after step, trying to help him find his way out of it. It couldn’t be PTSD that time, you would have noticed immediately.

He wasn’t distressed like he was when he suffered from it, he was actually really happy and he was usually calm when he came back home.

It could be PTSD, but what was it then?”

“Sorry Kim, i have to go.” You whispered, looking at your phone and finding out it was just 9:30 pm; you had still plenty of time before he could have been home and you wanted to find out what was happening with your boyfriend, actually with your future husband.

“Don’t worry darling, it’s okay.” Kim whispered, smiling at you. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? Maybe you can come at the district one day and we can talk a little? Also Adam and Kevin missed you, you know. With all the preparations of the wedding, we didn’t see you around in a while.”

“Yeah, when i’m not at work at the hospital, i’m around the city trying some white dresses.” You sighed, wearing your jacket and placing some money on the table, paying for your own drink.

“I can imagine that. Don’t worry, really. I hope to see you again soon.” She smiled softly at you.

“I hope that too. Bye Kim, goodnight.”

You left the bar just ten minutes after and you immediately called the one and only that could have tracked Jay’s phone without a word: Mouse.

When he came back from the army, for the second time, you knew that it would have been difficult for him to start a new life again, especially after the first time. Jay helped him and, after some weeks in which he tried to convince him every single day, Mouse accepted to come back at the intelligence as a tech. It wasn’t an easy decision for him and it was strange at first, but he knew he had no better option and working with his friend was something he missed a lot.

He picked up the phone after the second ring.

“Hi! Look who showed up!” He smiled and laughed. “I was actually asking myself when you would have called me to give me the official invite to your wedding, you know? I would have asked Jay, but he i’m pretty sure is not as much involved in the preparations as you are, so…”

“Mouse, i need your favor.” You told him straight away. “I can’t find Jay and I’m worried. Can you please track his phone and tell where he is? And, can you do that without anyone knowing it?”

It was a strange request, especially since it went from you, but Mouse got it immediately and he started to track Jay’s phone straight away. He was actually scared for his friend, he was scared that Jay got into real trouble, maybe with the ptsd or something liked that, but there was no time for questions. He tracked his phone and he gave her the address after only three minutes.

“Thank you, Mouse. Sorry if i interrupted your evening. I have to go now and, don’t worry, I’ll handle the invite in person, okay?” You said, getting inside the car while looking at the address Mouse gave to you. It could be true, why was he there?

“Don’t worry, no problem at all. I’ll leave you now, i guess you’re busy… just, tell me if anything happened to him, okay?” He replied, making sure that everything was okay, making sure that you would have called him in case of trouble.

“I will, thanks Mouse.”

When he hung up, you started the car and you drove to the location he sent you; why the hell was Jay at his old apartment? Didn’t he sell it?

When you arrived at the location, you parked the car and you got out as soon as you could, going up the stairs and reaching his door just few minutes after. Fortunately, you still knew where he used to hide the key and you went for it, opening the door as silently as you could. The first thing you noticed when you entered was the emptiness of the room: there was nothing there other than some furnishings and still you didn’t understand why Jay was there.

Then, you noticed it.

Then, you noticed them: heels and they weren’t yours.

Your mouth became dry and you stopped breathing properly, trying to find an explanation for what you were seeing. You took some steps forward and your eyes fell on the jeans and t-shirts that were on the floor, all the way up to what it was Jay’s bedroom before he moved out. You took the hallway, starting to hear voices, moans you didn’t want to hear, moans you just wanted to be from your neighbors, even if you knew that they were elderly and it couldn’t have been them. Just at the front of the door, you saw them: panties and Jay’s boxer.

Your brain stopped working, you stopped breathing and your heart almost stopped beating; you just couldn’t understand what was happing, you couldn’t believed it.

You zoned out, like you couldn’t have been there, like you were just in a dream, a bad dream, a really bad one, then you came back to reality when you actually saw and hear them.

“Oh, Jay.” She moaned, begging him. “Please, faster.”

Hailey.

Jay’s partner.

“God, Hails…” Your boyfriend moaned, lowering himself on her to kiss her breast while fucking her. “I… shit… you feel so good around me.”

“Oh, J-Jay!” She moaned louder, unaware of your presence on the frame of the door, where you were watching them, without breathing.

Jay took Hailey’s legs and he put it on his own shoulder, increasing the pace.

“Yes, cum around me, baby. Cum for me, i love you.”

Surprisingly. It wasn’t watching him fucking her that destroyed you: it was his last three words, the same three words he said to you every morning before going to work, the same three words he said to you on the phone when he was to busy at work to come home, even if he was actually heading to his old apartment, when he was able to fuck his partner whenever he wanted to.

You stepped back silently, to broken to face the truth, to heart broken to face him.

You stepped back and you left without saying a word, without make noise; you went back inside your car and only then, when Hailey’s and Jay’s moans were far away from you, you started breathing again.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks from minutes probably, but you couldn’t notice it before and you were to shocked to dry off your tears: you just wanted to add as many distance as you could between you and the man you thought was the love of your life.

You didn’t even went back to your apartment, you couldn’t have handle being again in the house that would have been yours,the house in which you hoped you would have started a family with Jay. You didn’t go back to your apartment to collect all your belongings, you just left.

You left a message to your boss’ office regarding your resignation and you drove away.

Away from Jay.

Away from your apartment.

Away from the life you dreamed of with him.

Away from the love.

Away from the pain.

Away from Chicago.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz (ft platonic!Jay Halstead): Not The Pizza Guy 

You swung the door open money in hand and paused at the man in front of you. “You're not the pizza guy.” He was leaning on the doorframe, his jacket damp from the night rain. His face, which had been furrowed in worry, was now caught between shock and disbelief. Your eyes fall to the badge clipped on his hip. You had thought that knock was a little loud and on the cop side. A smile comes to your lips, “You must be Jay,” 

“Yeah, I must be.” He agreed. You nodded at him and gestured into the apartment.  

“Did you want to come in? Greg is just in the shower.” It is strange for Jay to hear Mouse’s legal name. It’s even stranger to see you standing in front of him, all smiles, dressed in one of Mouse’s Star Wars sweatshirts and little else. You don’t wait for him to answer as you head back in. Jay hesitated before following you in and closing the door behind him. The living room was empty. Jay barely sees your ponytail rounding the corner as you call out Mouse’s name.  

Jay feels out of sorts. He had come over because he had been worried about his friend. It seemed like Mouse was falling back into old bad habits. He was blowing off team outings, constantly distracted by his phone, and had seemingly been in his own world. Jay's first and only thought had been that his friend was struggling with PTSD. He had feared that Mouse may have been slipping back into his former drug use. He had come intent on doing an intervention if need be. He had been planning what he would say, the options he had found, and even prepared to move Mouse in with him if he needed the extra support.  

Now he wasn’t sure how to respond. 

Mouse rounds the corner in sweats, toweling off his hair. He had clearly been alerted to Jay’s arrival. He had the grace to look guilty. “Hey buddy,” You walked back in now sporting a pair of black leggings under Mouse’s hoodie. There is a moment of quiet before another knock sounds at the door again. 

“Now that’s got to be the pizza.” You turn on your heel walking between the boys to head for the door.  

“Baby, for the sake of my peace of mind, please check who it is before you open the door this time. This is Chicago, not your small town.” You look back at your boyfriend smiling contritely. 

“Yeah, right, sorry.” They watched you head to the door. There is a brief pause and then, “You're not a murderer, right? You’re just the pizza guy?” Mouse rubs his hands over his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose.  

“Her lack of self-preservation is going to take years off my life.”  

Before Jay can ask Mouse anything, you come back into the room with the pizza and a stack of paper plates. You give one to Mouse and then offer another to Jay. Soon you are all sitting in the living room eating pizza and the ball game is on the TV. Jay can’t focus on it and instead spends his time analyzing you and his old war buddy. Jay watches as Mouse throws his arm across the back of the couch and you lean into his side. You place a napkin on his leg, and he smiles down at you. There is a lightness in his friend, a warmth, a happiness that Jay hasn’t seen in a long time. He feels ridiculous for being so off base with how his friend was doing. 

And so fucking grateful he was wrong. 

Jay lingered after everyone had finished the food. You offer to make a pot of coffee and the boys accept. Mouse watches as you disappear into the kitchen. “She seems like a nice girl.” Mouse’s lips form an unconscious smile. 

“She is.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell me man? I was worried about you.” Mouse rubs the back of his neck scratching gently. He lifts his eyes from where they had been trained on the floor. 

“I know, I’m sorry. It was selfish but I just wanted to keep her to myself for a while. She’s so innocent. Untouched by the dark side of humanity.” Jay can see the struggle in Mouse’s eyes. The self-doubt and question of if he was worthy of something good.

Someone good.

Jay had seen it many times looking back at him in the mirror. “Her parents are still together, from a small town- never even locked her front door before she moved to Chicago- can you believe that? And she just-” Mouse threw his hands up as if he was trying to get a grasp on his own good fortune, “She walked into a cafe and right into my life. Just like that. Just like that man. I can’t even believe it. She's not anything like what I would have picked for myself.” Mouse chuckles, “She is so technologically challenged, it’s insane. I thought you guys at the precinct were bad, but it is nothing compared to her. And I can’t help but find it strangely adorable.” 

Jay put a hand on Mouse’s shoulder, squeezing it. “I’m happy for you buddy, really, I am. You deserve it. But you can’t hide her away forever. And everybody is going to want to meet her.” 

“I know.”

You come in holding a cup of coffee in each hand and creamer, and sugar tucked under your arm. You offer the cups to both men. “I didn’t know how you took your coffee.” You say in explanation and Jay looks amused as he takes the sugar from your arm and pours some into his cup. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Mouse takes a drink of his already doctored-up coffee. He meets eyes with Jay before taking a deep breath. “Hey, the intelligence team is getting together at Molly’s tomorrow night...Do you want to go? Meet everyone.” You smile brightly pressing a kiss to Mouse's cheek. 

“I’d love to meet your family.”              

[unknowntoyou2205]

Fear turns into confession (2/4)

Info: Y/n joins intelligence on a case, leaving Jay distracted from his job.

Requested by @maybankangel

Series masterlist

Two weeks had passed since y/n had returned from the army. Jay and her had become close, spending many evenings hanging out, with Mouse joining them sometimes. Erin still felt bitter about y/n and her bitterness had only grown with how much time her boyfriend was spending with the returned soldier. It didn't help that everyone in intelligence had grown to like her, leading to her often hanging out in the district. It wasn't unusual for y/n to turn up with lunch for the team, but Erin refused to like the girl. And y/n didn't seem that bothered by Erin's noticeable attitude towards her, instead opting to be the bigger person, opting to treat the woman her friend loved as a friend. The two didn't seem to be making any progress of becoming friends, but y/n accepted that, choosing to get along with Erin for the sake of Jay, and she hoped Erin felt the same way.

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Jay leaned against his desk as he talked to Erin, awaiting for the new case Voight was about to announce to them. There was word about kidnappings of women, where they were never found after they were taken. Six women were currently taken, and Voight was about to announce the plan of action. The team was blind as opposed to what it was, but they knew whatever it was they had to act fast, before things got out of hand.

The room went silent as Voight walked out of his office towards the middle of the room with pictures in his hands. Attaching them onto the board in front of him, he turned to face his team, and began to explain what was happening.

"Alright, here are the six women who have been taken in the past two weeks, each of them were seen in the local night club and that was their last sighting, meaning that the kidnapper is likely to be targeting that area. The victims were last seen getting into a taxi but they aren't traceable. Each plate comes up as legit taxi drivers, and when asked they say they weren't working the night the women were taken nd that they didn't even know there car was taken as it's in the same place as they had left it." Voight explained. "This guy is smart. He either managed to get the keys of these cars, take them and than return them when he's finished so as not to be caught quicker, or the cars are left unlocked and he wires it to turn on before leaving it as it was." Erin commented. "Well it worked, no one would know what happened apart from families becoming worried for their daughters." Kevin stated. "As you can see each girl here is in their 20's, has short h/c hair and e/c eyes meaning he has a type. So we need to catch him out before the next kidnapping." Voight stating, looking around as he finished explaining. "He seems to pick busy hours, when there are crowds around, hoping not to attract attention on him. College is out which means events are rolling in." Burgess stated. "When's the next event?" Jay asked. "Tonight there is karaoke night. He's bound to be there." Mouse spoke up, looking up from his computer. "Than we go there tonight. Hope to catch this son of a bastard." Voight spoke before The buzzer buzzed and the gate was heard opening.

Everyone's attention turned to the stairs as footsteps were heard, and each smiled slightly when they seen the woman walking up them. Y/n smiled softly as she held up a takeaway bag, having decided to bring Chinese for intelligence when Voight had asked her to come. She knew briefly of the case and knew that it would likely be a late one, so decided to bring some dinner for them when Voight had contacted her.

"Hey Y/n, what you doing here?" Adam asked, stretching over his desk so he could see her better. "Voight called, decided to bring dinner for everyone, sounds like a late night." Y/n replied, allowing Kevin to take the bags from her before moving to sit on Jay's chair, the owner of said chair craning around to smile at her in greeting.

Erin watched the two, unimpressed. She narrowed her eyes as Jay moved away from her side and behind his desk to hug y/n, y/n happily standing up to accept the hug. Wanting to drag her boyfriends attention away from the soldier, she started questioning Hank on their plans.

"So how are we going to catch him in the act? Neither me or Kim fit the description of the girls he's targeting." Erin asked, causing y/n to glance at Voight. "But y/n does." Voight pointed at said girl, causing everyone's attention to turn to her. "You can't be serious." Jay spoke out quickly, angered by the thought of his friend becoming a target. "Y/n fits what our guy is going for, she looks like a college student..." "Not sure how I feel about that comment." y/n spoke softly causing Kevin and Mouse to hid a grin. "She's a perfect match." Voight finished, gesturing to y/n. "I don't agree with this." Jay commented. "Jay stop, I've done more dangerous things than this." Y/n spoke firmly, "Besides I've already agreed." "You what?" Jay eyed her in frustration. "Jay, stop, she'll be fine. She's done more dangerous things than this." Erin stated, frowning at Jay for the way he was acting.

Jay only watched as y/n moved to Voight, allowing him to explain more in depth of what she was to do. He watched as she nodded along with his boss before they walked to Mouse where Hank told him to get y/n wired up.

"Jay, what you so worried about, she's fought worse." Adam spoke as he and Kim walked up to Jay and Erin. "She's on leave with an injury, and she's my friend, of course I'm worried." Jay explained as if it was the most obvious thing. "We'll be outside ready to interfere as needed. Once he goes for you let him take you, we'll be ready and waiting outside." Hank finished saying to y/n as Mouse helped wire her up. "How do we know if this is going to work?" Jay asked aloud. "We don't, but we have to try." Y/n stated, her brain going into autopilot.

---------------------------

Like previous missions and tasks, y/n was nervous, but she knew that the reason or doing this was to help save other girls and to prevent it from happening again. Her mind was on neutral, and she eyes a gentleman across the bar from her as she swirled her drink. He had been watching her all night, and y/n was sure that this man was the one Intelligence was looking for. Catching his eye, y/n smiled slyly before turning to talk to the barman in front of her.

“Could I get another please?” She asked, before downing the last of her drink. “I’ll get this.” The guy from across the bar suddenly appeared beside her. “That’s very kind of you.” Y/n smiled, batting her eyelashes a little. “It’s the least I can do for a pretty girl like yourself.” The guy spoke, causing y/n to look down as she blushed.

Outside in a van, Jay could only scowl as he heard the conversation between y/n and the guy. Erin sat beside him, and rolled her eyes at the look on her boyfriends face. He had done nothing but watch y/n before she went in, fussing over her and asking her repeatedly to change her mind. Halstead was worried about the girl, and that didn’t sit right with Erin.

“What do you say we head out of here, maybe someplace quiet.” The guy was heard over the ear piece, and the team sat up straight. “Y/n, go with him, but act surprised.” Voight coached the girl over the speaker, and Jay glared at his boss. “We just met, and you want me to leave with you.” Y/n feigned shock, turning her vision away from the guy in front of her. “Come on, you can trust me.” The guy laughed lightly, trying to encourage her. “I just don’t know if I should.” Y/n said unsure, trying to egg the guy on as he laughed before moving closer to her. “I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it.” The guy threatened, leaning towards y/n so only she could hear. Y/n gasped, showing fear. “Come with me willingly and I won’t hurt you. Struggle, and it will end badly for you.” The guy spoke. “Ok.” Y/n gulped, voice shaking.

“We got him.” Voight stated, smirking at the guys confession. “Than let’s go.” Jay spoke, not liking the idea of someone’s hands being on his friends. “Jay, wait.” Erin spoke. “We take this easy or it could all go wrong.” She stated. “Kevin & Burgess, take the left, Erin & Adam go right, Halstead, your with me.” Voight commanded to his team as they got ready to move out.

Y/n got off her stool and allowed the guy in front to take her arm as they exited the night club. Shivering under the cold air hitting her skin, y/n looked to the left as cars were heard skidding in the distance. The guys grip hardened more as he seen Intelligence step out of their cars.

“Shit cops.” He cursed. “Chicago PD, let her go.” Voight shouted. “Keep moving, don’t stop.” The guy commanded, pushing the barrel of his gun into y/n’s back.

Y/n tripped over her feet as the guy forced her to move. Her back arched as she felt the barrel. Knowing this could turn nasty, she choose to follow the guys commands. This was part of the plan but that didn’t mean the guy could turn.

Jay took off after y/n, not listening as Hank shouted at him to get in. He choose to keep running, and turned the corner he say y/n go, his mind only on y/n. He heard the cars rushing behind him, but his mouth tightened as she seen y/n being forced into a car.

“Chicago PD, stop a*****e.” Jay shouted, causing y/n to look back at him. “Help, help.” Y/n shouted, playing the act till she was pushed into the car, her head hitting the door, knocking her unconscious.

The guy fired at Jay, causing him to duck down, taking out his own gun to fire back. Another shot was heard from the passengers side of the car, diverting Jays attention as the guy got into the car. Hearing the car engine, Jay cursed and started shooting at the car, before dropping down as a bullet nicked his arm. He turned to look over his shoulder as he heard cars stopping behind him

“Jay, are you okay.” Erin shouted out, running to her boyfriend as the car in front of them drove off. “I’m fine.” Jay brushed Erin away from him, standing up to watch as the car turned a corner. “This was part of the plan.” Burgess nodded her head, trying to convince herself and Jay that all would be okay. “Yeah, yeah, sure.” Jay sighed, allowing Erin to look at his wound. “Let’s head back to intelligence, see what mouse has heard.” Voight spoke up. “Come on, let’s get you to med.” Erin stated, holding Jays arm as he got off the ground.

Jay just nodded, his mind on y/n.

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Five)

Summary: This is Part Twenty-Two of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Injury Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, Team as Family, Kissing, Romance, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Friday

*** 

Jay

Jay scrubbed a hand down his face as Dr. Fredericks patiently waited for him to, you know, actually talk.

“You know what happened,” he began, figuring she’d at least heard through the grapevine if not directly from a few of her other first-responder patients. “With my sister and my brother.”

“I do.” Dr. Fredericks nodded. “But that doesn’t mean I know how you experienced it. I’d rather hear it in your own words.”

Rubbing a hand over his mouth, he slumped back in his chair, trying to gather his words. Dr. Fredericks waited. Infuriatingly patient, as always.

He couldn’t—he didn’t want to revisit that day. Any of it. But he knew the drill by now—knew he had to if there was any hope of getting a handle on it. The only way out was through and all that shit. Jay took a breath and tried to centre himself.

Slowly, haltingly, he told her everything. Every horrifying minute. Listening to the attack. Thinking that Bex—that she was dead before he could even get to her. Emery. And then Will. How he can’t stop hearing or seeing any of it whether he’s awake or asleep. How he’s trying to keep it together for Bex—trying to keep Bex together while she’s slowly falling apart before his eyes. Pretending she’s fucking fine.

Like any of them are.

They talked through his feelings of ‘misplaced’ guilt—Jay didn’t know if it would be possible to ever fully rid himself of that—and his extremely justified anger at Ty.

“I just—I want him gone,” Jay snapped out. “I don’t want him to ever be able to touch my family ever again. I’m doing everything I can think of to make that happen, but none of it feels like enough.”

Dr. Fredericks tilted her head at him. “What have you been doing?”

“I can’t work the case, obviously,” Jay said, still aggravated about that. “But I remembered my dash cam was on and it caught the phone call with Bex so I’ve handed that over. You can hear Ty pretty friggin’ clearly on that so it should help the prosecutors.” Detective Medeiros kept reminding him how huge a help that actually was.

“Mouse and I have been staying with her so I know there’s always someone there,” he continued. “But—”

“…but?” she prompted.

“We both have to start back at work on Monday,” Jay sighed. “They’re letting us switch our shifts around so at least one of us will be there—most of the time anyway, but I—I don’t know how I’m going to do it.”

“Return to work?”

“Leave Bex,” he said, shaking his head. “I tried to go for groceries on Wednesday and I-I had a panic attack in the parking lot of her building about leaving her alone. And Mouse was still there! I mean—I did it. I went. We needed food, but it…it was hard.”

“That’s understandable after a trauma like you’ve had,” Dr. Fredericks said. “Have you talked to Bex about your fears?”

“I don’t…no, no, I haven’t.” Jay sat up and grabbed the glass of water she’d set out for him. Gave his hands something to do. “Our oldest brother, Chris—he already had a talk with her along those lines this week.” Thankfully Chris had filled him in later because Bex hadn’t said a word. “I don’t—I don’t want to pile my shit on top of all that. I know she knows I’m worried about her. I keep checking on her while she’s ‘sleeping’—”

“Why the air quotes,” Dr. Fredericks cut in.

“Because I’m pretty sure she’s faking it,” he said, heart sinking all over again at the thought. “She went from waking us up with screaming nightmares to total silence in the span of a day. That doesn’t happen. But she’s resting, at least, and that was a huge fight to win.” His lips twisted in a wry smile. “One battle at a time, right?”

“That’s—”

“I know.” Jay held up a hand. “Something I need to talk about with her eventually, but I’ve been in her place, Doc. Hurt and in pain and knowing that there’s nothing you can do to speed up the process. It’s—it’s shitty and sleeping with broken ribs is actually pretty hard. I want to give her a bit of space…on that front, anyway.”

“Okay.” Dr. Fredericks levelled a look at him across the coffee table. “If talking to Bex is off the table, for now, what else do you think can be done to help you feel more comfortable with returning to work.”

Aside from removing Ty Anderson from the face of the planet? Jay blew out a breath as he wracked his brain, running through all of their plans and back up plans and—

“I think…I think we might be doing everything we can? To keep Bex safe, I mean.” He bobbed a little nod. “Aside from rolling her up in bubble wrap or something.”

“Which wouldn’t be good for her ribs,” Dr. Fredericks pointed out with a small smile. Jay popped a finger gun at her. “Fair point.” He let out a little laugh before sighing and running a hand over his face. “Can you just…tell me it’ll get easier at some point?”

“How long have we been seeing each other, Jay?”

“Couple of years,” he said, not bothering with the actual math. “Off and on.”

“So,” Dr. Fredericks said, not giving him an inch. “What do you think the answer to that is?”

Not easier.

Not ever really with the way their lives went, but eased. With time and a hell of a lot of work.

They all had a long road ahead of them.

*** Bex

Bex watched the numbers on her phone turn over and silenced the alarm as soon as it went off. Kol snuffled as he wiggled closer beside her and licked at her chin. She gave him a little scratch behind his ear.

“Good boy, Kol,” she said. “You did a good job.”

He’d snuck into her room on Tuesday night as Mouse was leaving and snuggled in beside her. Bex wasn’t about to turn him away and around one a.m., she was extra happy for that decision when he nudged her awake right as a nightmare was headed toward screaming out loud territory.

She did not need another night of waking up Mouse and Jay and having them burst into her room thinking she was fighting off an attack. Again.

Kol got plenty of treats for his help and now three nights in, they’d managed to keep up their little system. He woke her up before the nightmares got too bad. Mouse and Jay got more sleep—mostly. Jay kept checking on her, but she was pretty sure he was sleeping in between checks. She was only managing to get a couple of hours a night, but it wasn’t like she was exerting herself much throughout the day anyway.

The nightmares would fade at some point. They had to.

In the meantime, Operation Stop Worrying Your Whole Family was under way.

“Okay,” Bex said, pushing Kol away gently. “Time to get up and face the day.” She was workshopping times for how early she could come out of her room and not have Mouse look at her with that tiny little frown line between his eyebrows, asking her if she got enough sleep.

Seven a.m. and eight a.m. were not it. Maybe eight-thirty would be the magic number.

Bex grit her teeth as she leveraged herself out of bed, ribs screaming at her. Most of her body was still one giant bruise and moving, standing, or sitting—everything friggin’ hurt.

Slowly, but surely, she made her way toward her door. Taking a deep breath—ow, OW, ow—Bex pasted a smile onto her face and headed out into the hallway…

Into a quiet apartment.

Hunh.

Will’s bedroom door was open with no Jay inside—right. He was going to therapy this morning. Bex hoped the empty room meant he was following through with that and actually made his appointment. She’d overheard enough whispered conversations between him and Mouse to know they were both still beating themselves over what happened. Like any of the blame fell on them.

She crept out into the living room, shuffling along while Kol pranced beside her. With a bark, he shot ahead, nosing at the balcony door and she finally spotted Mouse sitting out there cross-legged.

“Oh, hey!” He turned around at the noise, scrambling to his feet as soon as he saw her. Sliding open the screen door, he stepped inside, scanning her face with worried eyes. That stupid frown line starting to form. “Did you get—”

“Hey! Good morning to you too,” she said, dragging that smile back out. “What were you doing out there?”

“Ah. I, uh—” Mouse rubbed at the back of his neck. Blushing. Bex’s smile suddenly felt a lot less forced.

“Mouse…” she teased, stepping closer. “Spill.”

“I was trying out a meditation thing that Lucy keeps recommending to me,” he blurted out. “Like a quiet-the-mind-relaxation-thing—”

Because he was stressed. About her. About all of this.

“Did it help?” She mentally crossed her fingers, already planning to send Lucy cookies if it had. Even a little bit.

“Oh, I didn’t—I actually got distracted watching some birds chase a squirrel in the parking lot,” Mouse confessed with a little snort. “I think they were playing? I hope they were, otherwise those were some mean birds.”

Bex laughed, doing her best to stifle the groan that followed as she pressed a hand against her side. Mouse’s face fell instantly.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He crowded into her space, hand hovering over hers, carefully not touching. “I shouldn’t make jokes. Are you okay—”

“I’m fine, I—I don’t want you to stop making jokes,” she said. “Ever, okay?” She stared at him until he met her eyes again. “Promise?”

Mouse held her gaze before sighing and dropping his forehead to press against hers. “Promise.”

“Good.” Bex moved forward to wrap her arms around him and snuggle into his chest. “Let’s try this again. Good morning.”

“Morning, Bex.” Gentle, gentle arms wrapped around her, holding her close. “How about I make you some breakfast?” Mouse asked hopefully.

Her stomach rolled at the thought and Bex hid her grimace into shirt. “Sure,” she said. “That sounds great.”

***

Connor

Will sighed as his care team left the room and Connor sat quietly beside him, holding his hand while they both absorbed the big news.

“Guess I can cancel the rescue squad,” Will said, cracking a grin despite the dark circles under his eyes.

Connor snorted. “Like Severide would bust you out of here and risk Bex coming down on him.”

“Hey—ugh.” Will’s face fell. “I almost made a joke about how now was the best time since she’s out of commission, but—”

“Too soon.” Connor shook his head and Will nodded solemnly.

“Way too soon,” he agreed. “Think she’ll be coming by today or should we call her with the good news? Oh, we gotta talk to Jay and Mouse about moving stuff around so I can have space to maneuver. Our apartment isn’t exactly wheelchair friendly.”

Dr. Allan was letting him take very short walks, but he had to be careful due to the severity and placement of his wound. He couldn’t stress his abdomen while it was still healing which meant lots of bed rest and using a wheelchair more often than not to get around. At least for the next few weeks.

And Will was right about his apartment. Seemed like it was time for the discussion Connor had been prepping for in his brain over the past few days.

“So,” he cleared his throat. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Mm?” Will glanced at him before continuing to type out a list on his phone, head shooting back up when he registered the serious look on Connor’s face. “What’s up?”

“I think that it would be best if you came home with me instead of your apartment,” Connor said, squeezing Will’s hand gently when he instantly started to argue. “Just—wait, please. Hear me out.”

Huffing out a breath, Will sank back against his pillows, the fight draining out of him as quickly as it had flared up. “Tell me.”

“My place is bigger,” Connor began. “You’ll have more room so you won’t have to worry about bumping into anything.”

“At least if I bump into anything at my place, I’ll know it didn’t cost five grand a cushion,” Will snarked and Connor raised an eyebrow at him.

“What happened to hearing me out?”

Will mimed zipping his lips, making Connor laugh softly as he rolled his eyes.

“Better.” He leaned in and took Will’s hand again. “There’s a ramp to the building and the elevator is solid.” Will and Bex’s place had two steps to get in and Connor had a disconcerting lack of confidence in the elevator. “I’ve got a walk-in shower,’ he continued, trying to hit all of the highlights right off the bat. “It’ll be easy to make it accessible and you can’t deny that my mattress is way better than yours.”

Using his free hand to unzip his lips, Will said, “…I do love your mattress.”

Connor knew that would be a point in his favour.

“I know the biggest issue is that you want to be back with Bex,” he said and Will nodded. “But this would just be temporary and like you said, she’s trying to recover too. Jay and Mouse are there. They’ve got her covered. And I’m pretty sure they won’t be leaving anytime soon so five people trying to operate in your apartment is a recipe for disaster.”

“Five?” Will’s face scrunched up in confusion. Connor fought off the urge to sigh.

“Yes, babe, five,” he said. “You think I’m not going to be with you for every step of your recovery, no matter where you’re staying? I already talked to Goodwin about taking a leave.”

“Con…”

“Out of everything, that is the one thing that’s non-negotiable. I mean it.” Connor blinked back tears as his breath caught. “You don’t—you don’t know what it was like, Will. You got shot. Right in front of me—I was—you almost bled out in my arms. I thought you were going to die, that I was going to lose you and I couldn’t—” He swiped a hand over his cheeks, shaking his head. “It was the worst day of my life and I just…I don’t want to let you out of my sight for a little while, okay? Is that—will you let me do that? Please?”

Will opened his arms as Connor’s voice broke on those last words, letting Connor sink into them—carefully—and they held each other until Will whispered, “Okay.”

Connor sat back up, searching his face for any hint of doubt or reluctance, but he was smiling softly at Connor through teary eyes. “Are you sure?”

“You’re right about all of it,” Will said, chewing on his lip as he considered his next words. “Your space is a better set-up, but more importantly, I think it would be best for us to be together in that space. Mouse and Jay have Bex covered and we can still visit and like you said, it’s temporary. I’m not letting Jay steal Bex as a roomie now. He had his chance.”

Relief flooded through Connor as a week’s worth of tension just…disappeared. “That’s—thank you, babe.” He leaned in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Will said, quirking an eyebrow at him. “I’m calling dibs ‘not it’ on telling Bex about this.”

Connor sat back in his chair with a thump.

Well.

Shit.

***

Jay

Jay walked out of the doctor’s office and blinked at the sight of Voight and Olinsky standing next to his truck. His heart dropped.

What now?

“What’s going on?” he called out as he jogged over. “What happened? Is—”

“Bex, Will, and Emery are all fine,” Voight said, cutting off his immediate worries. “There’s nothing wrong with your family or the team, but we do need to talk.”

“Not here,” Olinsky added.

They both looked grim and Jay had about a thousand questions, but all he asked was, “Where?”

Voight jerked a nod at his truck. “Follow us.” He stalked off toward his vehicle without another word, assuming Jay would follow as ordered. He’d promised Bex and Mouse he’d be back right after his appointment, but something was clearly going down and Jay didn’t want to be out of the loop. Whatever it was, it was serious enough for them to track him down at his therapist’s office.

He shuddered to think of how many privacy laws they’d violated to do that.

Jay got in his truck and followed them out of the lot, bracing himself for whatever shit was coming their way now.

***

Hank

Al was silent beside him as they drove toward one of the abandoned industrial yards that Hank preferred for meetings like this.

Silent and yet incredibly loud in his judgment.

“Spit it out,” Hank growled.

“Is this really the right way to play it?” Al sighed.

“I’m not going to risk someone else breaking the news,” he shot back. “We need to catch him off-guard. See his face.”

“You don’t actually think he had anything to do with it.” Al turned and Hank could see him staring at him out of the corner of his eye.

“I hope not,” Hank said slowly. “But I also know we’re all capable of almost anything when someone threatens our family. And I think I have to see his face to know for sure.”

They rolled along the cracked pavement of the empty warehouse yard with Halstead pulling in close behind. He slammed the door of his truck as he got out, striding over to stand with vibrating impatience as he waited for them to join him.

“What the hell is this about?”

Hank waited until he was right in front of him. Eye to eye. “Ty Anderson is dead.”

Halstead blinked, unmistakable shock crossing his face. Unfiltered.

Good.

“What the—when? How?”

“Stabbed,” Al piped up. “Tuesday night. They did an internal investigation that came up as ‘fucked around and found out.’ Which tracks.” He shrugged. “Detective Medeiros only found out about it last night and came knocking on our door this morning.”

“She said he was found in section of the prison where the cameras were on the fritz,” Hank said, still watching Halstead carefully. “Nobody saw anything. Nobody heard anything. He bled out before he was found.” He waited a beat. “She wanted to know if we’d heard anything.”

Halstead narrowed his gaze. “Asked me what you dragged me out here to ask me.”

“We just want to know if anybody’s gonna hear something,” Hank said, crossing his arms as he stared right back. “Better to do clean up now than be caught with our pants down later.”

Closing his eyes, Halstead shook his head as he took a deep breath. “What?” he demanded, shooting a glare at both of them. “You think I had something to do with this? Ordered a hit?”

Hank shrugged. “Wouldn’t blame you.”

“If I was going to kill him,” Halstead snarled, jabbing a finger at him. “I would have done it that day. At Emery’s. He’s fucking lucky Hailey was there to stop me.” He shook his head and let out a harsh breath. “No,” he said, a little bit more even this time. “I wouldn’t—I didn’t have anything to do with it…but I hope whoever did? Made it hurt.”

The crime scene photos flashed through Hank’s mind. “You got your wish there, kid.”

Halstead went quiet for a moment. Calculating. “…was it you?”

The thought had crossed his mind. Briefly, hours later in the aftermath, when he’d met the sunrise in his kitchen with a bottle of scotch at his side. He knew enough people, had enough money, and was owed enough favours to make it happen.

But Al had shown up, tugged the bottle out of his hand and halted his silent plans with a quiet word. She wouldn’t want that. Don’t put it on her.

“No,” Hank said, meeting Halstead with a steady look of his own. “None of us.”

Halstead nodded, relaxing minutely before flinging out a hand. “Then who?”

“Guy like Ty,” Al said. “The possibilities are endless.”

***

Statesville Correctional Center

Peters

Nathaniel Peters had worked at Statesville for the better part of twenty years and has crossed paths with all kinds of inmates. Mean ones, innocent ones, friendly, scared, pissed off…

All kinds.

But only one had ever truly unnerved him.

Robert Forrest. Or Ramsay as he was better known as. His crimes of record were hacking and embezzlement, but the cops and the feds and the rest of the suits had no idea who they were really dealing with. The other criminals did though and Peters had heard all of those rumours. Witnessed enough violent outbursts to believe them.

Most of the more violent residents at Statesville had a kind of anger that Peters could understand. A rage that burned hot and fast, leaving a path of destruction before flaming out. It passed.

Ramsay. He was nothing but rage. A constant fire that burned cold. Controlled. He wielded his anger like a knife and there was no running once he had you in his sights. The hunt was all part of the game for him. It didn’t matter if he did the killing or if he paid one of his many pawns. As long as there was blood in the end, he was happy.

Peters was very invested in keeping Ramsay happy.

The guard before him had already up and ‘quit’ abruptly. Ramsay paid the warden well enough that he had the run of the place. The way Peters saw it, he might as well play nice and earn his extra money while he could. Stay on Ramsay’s good side…such as it was.

As soon as he had enough for that little fishing hut down in Florida, he was out of here.

In the meantime, he’d be the best damn pawn in Ramsay’s arsenal.

Knocking on the door of Ramsay’s cell, he waited for permission before sliding open the window. “Some detective’s asking questions,” Peters said. “But the warden has it handled.”

“And Mitchell?”

“Says thank you for the bonus,” Peters said, holding back a snort. The other guard jumped on the job as soon as it was offered. Didn’t hurt that he’d been itching to deal with Anderson since day one. “He’s waiting until the questions die down before taking his early retirement. Everything’s holding up so far. Nothing to tie back to him.” Ramsay hummed, pleased. “I do appreciate tidy work.” There was a pause before his face suddenly appeared in the window, taking everything Peters had not to flinch.

“Do you think she’ll be pleased?” Ramsay asked, eyes wide and unsettlingly earnest.

“Who—”

“My songbird, you idiot,” Ramsay hissed. “My Bex. Do you think she’ll like her gift?”

“Y-yeah,” Peters managed to get out. “I think she’ll be real grateful.”

Ramsay backed away from the door with another little hum. “Good. Maybe I should send her some more flowers. To help her recuperate.”

“I’ll get right on that,” Peters said as he slid the window closed. He shuddered as he walked back down the hall. He might be a coward and a pawn…

But at least he wasn’t Ramsay’s girl.

***

  Jay

Grateful felt like the wrong word when someone had been murdered—even someone like Ty—but Jay wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t relieved.

Ty was gone.

He could never touch his family ever again.

For the first time in a week, Jay felt like he could actually breathe.

“What now?” he asked Voight.

“Detective Medeiros gave us permission to let the most important people know so that’s where we’re headed next,” Voight said, jerking his chin at Jay. “We were going to hit 51, Med, and then your place. Coming with?”

“Yeah,” Jay nodded. “Definitely.” He needed to be there for this. To let Emery, Will, and Bex know they were safe.

No matter how it happened, that part he truly was grateful for.

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3 [A/N - please do click over to read on ao3 because there are some important notes at the end of the chapter to read]:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @lookingfortherainbow85

[stefanmikaleson1864]

Every Version Of You

Jay Halstead X Reader 

Requested by anon 

When jays best friend who he always loved even before the rangers gets honorably discharged from the rangers and comes working beside him and mouse at the district he realizes how innocent romantically she is and why she wouldn’t ever be with someone while they were serving because that meant comments being made an he finds out she’s always been in love with him like he has been with her and turns to putty when she looks up At him after a case

A/N: I hope you like this ! I am so sorry that It’s taken a while to write it but I am working through my request. 

If you like my work please comment like and reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work. 

Jay’s POV. 

Me and and Y/N have been best friends our entire lives. We went to the same school together and we really always kept to the side

.we never really had any other friends so it was always just us. Where one was the other one was as well. We also happened to live on the same block as each other. 

When things got rough at home we always had a spot where we would meet up together.

 A park down a couple blocks from each other. It was pretty run down and gross so no one ever went there which was good for us. 

It was our place and our safe haven. It’s where we could spend hours talking to each other or really say nothing at all.

 All i knew was when ever I was there with her I always felt safe. That everything was going to be okay. 

During one of our long talks there we talked about the future and what we wanted out of life. We both wanted. 

 We wanted to join the army and get out of town and serve a high purpose in life. 

To be able to help people in need to look back and know we made a difference. Not to mention when we left we would have hella benefits to set us up. It would mean we didn’t have to come back here. 

We would be able to start fresh out there and create a new life.

When we finally made it out of high school we graduated and right away we enlisted.

 We went to boot camp about a month later. Y/N was excited but I had more worried about her than myself. 

I know it’s what we wanted but  now that we were there I couldn’t help but feel scared.

 What if something happened to her. The thought of loosing her tore me up inside. I couldn’t loose someone else. 

Boot camp was rough. Both physically and mentally it was the hardest thing I had ever done. Y/n was feeling it to. But there were some good things that came along with it. 

We meant a lot of new people and became friends with them. Were really building our community.

 One person who really stuck with us was this quiet guy named Greg.We gave him the nick name mouse and he hated it but we didn’t care. 

The three of us were a trio and were always together. Mouse was the first person to call me out on my feelings for Y/N. I didn’t even realize it at first. 

That I was in love with her. He just flat out asked me one day because he was going to and I told  him no she was completely off limits. 

I never really thought about it before like that. Being in love with her because there is a different type of feelings that come along with that. 

But once I realized it I felt so different but a good different. 

Our time in the Military had come and gone and I was the first one to leave. My deployment ended first then Mouse.

 After 3 tours we finally decided we were done and hung up our hats. 

Y/N was right behind us after her 4th Y/n decided it was time to hang up the hat as well. When she came home I was able to get her a civilian job with us. She wasn’t ready to go out in the field. 

The trauma of war really did a number on her and she needed to be able to work a more stable position.

 She worked as a investigator for us. She really liked and she was such a huge part of the team. 

Right now we were all gathered around in the pen working on our next case. We had multiple murders out on the west side and we were worried about more violence coming out. 

We had exhausted all of our options and were left with really nothing. Expect one choice which was Mouse.

 He was selling bootleg cd’s and stolen goods. He also had a hard time adjusting and couldn’t hold down a proper job. 

“Come on we need something before there is more bloodshed out there” Hank said in a upset voice” 

“I think I may have something” I said sitting up 

Everyone looked at me with a confused look on their face. 

“Mouse he lived there his whole life I know him he knows something” I said 

“I don’t know if he would be the best help in his situation” Y/N said with a worried look on her face. 

“Why what happened” Kim asked. 

“He just had a hard time after we came home he never really adjusted” Y/N said. 

“I Know but I think he can handle this” I said

“Look if he’s un hinge it could do more damage than good” Kevin said 

“Look i trust him and I’ll watch out for him what ever happens is on me But I do think this is our best choice” I said 

“Let’s do it” Voight said 

Y/N looked at me a concerned voice so i reached over and gave it a comforting squeeze. 

I didn’t bother to tell him I was showing up because I know him and he would have ran off. I went alone incase he got scared and ran off. 

I made my way to him and like usual he wasn’t really even hiding what he was doing out that giant white van. I made my way over and banged on the back of the van. 

“Hey Mouse open up” I yelled. 

Slowly the door opened up and Mouse stuck his head and peaked around the door.. He looked scared like he was caught which I mean he was technically. 

“Hey Uh Jay what are you doing here” He asked in a worried voice. 

“Relax man I need a favor with something” I said laughing. 

‘Don’t say that out loud man what the hell is wrong with you” Mouse said. 

He grabbed my arm and drug me into the back of his van which is very alarming to most people. 

We got in and it was nothing but stolen goods and food wrappers. And my god that weed smel was horrible. 

We sat down in the two empty seats that was barely there. Mouse had to throw stuff around just for us to be able to sleep. 

“So man hey what’s going on” Mouse asked bouncing around. 

“Look man you gotta chill out you good” I asked placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah Man I’m good what’s up” He said. 

“I need your help with a case I know you know about these murders happening” I said 

“Yeah But what’s that got to do with me” Mouse asked. 

“Look I need to see if you can figure anything out I know you know everyone here okay you can figure something out” I said 

“Yeah but If people figure out I’m helping you I can’t risk my business man” Mouse said.

“Man forget your business we got dead body okay innocent people are dying” I said. 

“Okay alright I guess I can think about it” Mouse said 

“Shut the hell up and let’s go and behave when we get there Y/N is already worried about you working this and I don’t want to worry her more or prove her right” I said. 

“Yeah yeah Y/N i heard she was working with you how is she doing if you know what I mean” Mouse said 

I looked at him with a confused and even a slightly annoyed face because he already knew what the situation was he was just instigating the issue.

“Y/n is fine and we work together and we are friends that’s it for that situation” I said 

“You know what I mean” Mouse said shoving his elbow in my arm and laughing. 

“Let’s go now” I said annoyed at him already. 

I got out of the van and headed back into my own car. Mouse was following right behind me and we left headed for the district. 

He was non stop talking the whole way and I tried my best to act like I was paying attention. 

The only thing i was thinking was Y/n probably was going to be right that he wasn’t ready for something like this and I was pushing it. 

If he blew up and this case blew up it means we loose our only chance to get a killer of the street and it means I loose my word that I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. 

The car ride back felt long but I knew it wasn’t and I was nervous about him meeting the team and seeing Y/N again. I didn’t want him to blurt out some dumb stuff. 

When we got there we made our way in and I read him the riot act and pleaded with him to act like he had some kind of commonsense. 

“Hey man I got this stop worrying when have I ever done something dumb” Mouse said 

“We don’t have the time to run through that list” I said getting more mad. 

We made our way back into the bullpen and everyone was sitting at their desk looking at their computer. 

When we walked in they stopped what they were doing and looked up at us.  Y/N looked happy to see him but also had worry all over her eyes. It was subtle but I knew her for so long that I could read her. 

“Y/N my girl I missed you how you been baby” Mouse said loudly. 

“I’m good I missed you too” Y/N said smiling and walked over and hugged him. 

“ Hey everyone It’s nice to meet you all I promise to be on my best behavior” Mouse said 

Voight walked out and walked over to where Mouse was. 

“Listen I appreciate the help but if you fuck this up for us” Voight said 

“No sir I am here to help in anyway I can” Mouse said.

I think it was the first time he actually stiffened up and seemed kind of nervous. 

“Good so let’s get started then we don’t want to waste any time” Voight said. 

“We got 4 dead on our hand we think we have a prime suspect John Roberts he hussles out the west side but we can’t prove anything” Y/N said 

“What makes you think him” Mouse asked 

“All 4 people who were killed their phones pinged out his night club , we know he is a known seller and has a violent streak” Y/N said 

“So we need you to make a bid to be a seller for him and get him talking on a wire” Voight said. 

“Um yeah I know this guy he’s dangerous and ruthless he’s just not going to open up to me” Mouse said. 

“Look we know you got a rep in that area okay so you asking for this isn’t going to raise red flags” Jay said 

“Fine but no way am I going alone” Mouse said 

“Me and Jay can go were pose as customers in the club you know we got you” Y/N said 

“Y/N you haven’t been out in the field.” I said worried about her

“I’ll be fine don’t worry about me i can handle myself” Y/N said a little defensive. 

“Listen she says she’s fine I trust her it sounds like a good plan get it done” Voight said. 

I didn’t say anything and we all went back to our desk to get everything ready for tonight. After a couple of hours we were putting the final touches on the plan. 

Y/N went home and changed into something a little more appropriate for a club so no red flags would get raised. 

I was currently helping to bug mouse and I could tell he was nervous but he wouldn’t say anything. 

“Listen your good me and Y/N we got you like we always have before” I told him. 

“Yeah yeah your right” Mouse said. 

We finished up and headed out. Y/N was meeting us there. The car ride over was silent and we both had jitters. 

When we arrived there Y/N was sitting outside and she had on this purple sparkly dress. She was all dressed up. She really looked beautiful. 

I gave Mouse a squeeze on the shoulder and we headed out. 

“Hey come on it’s going to be okay” I said 

Mouse nodded and we walked over to Y/n.She looked up at us and smiled. 

“You go in and were head in a little bit after so we don’t look like were together you got this Greg It’s going to be okay” Y/N said 

“Yeah Thanks” Mouse said. 

He went and in we stayed behind and I looked over at Y/N and I could tell she was nervous to. 

“Hey there is no shame about being nervous It’s been a while sense you been out in the field but you got this I got you” I said 

“I know I’m okay I’m good really Let’s go inside i’m freezing” she said looking up at me and smiling. 

We walked in and grabbed a drink from the bar and headed to a table we where we could see mouse without being to noticed. 

“So how’s things been with you” Y/N asked 

“What do you mean” I asked

“I mean you haven’t been dating anyone sense Erin and we haven’t been able to talk in a while what’s going on” She asked. 

“Not much haven’t been in the mood to date sense she left” I said 

“Come on handsome guy like you it’s impossible to stay single for long” She said smiling. 

“I think I have someone in my mind but it would never go anywhere so i’m working on getting past that” I said honestly 

“Who do I know her” She asked 

“Uh yeah but don’t worry about it” I said 

“Okay fine sure be secretive or what ever” Y/n said taking a drink. 

“How we looking up there” I asked the team out there. 

‘Good mouse is being talkative but John has no clue were on to him. This might actually work” Kevin said. 

“It’s Mouse he always has a way with words” I said laughing. 

“Hey at least he talks to people” Y/N said 

“Damn Jay what did you do to her” Adam asked 

The conversation fell flat after that and I felt bad because I didn’t want to think I was pushing her out. 

Mouse was up there a while and he was doing okay so hopefully it was a sign we got everything we needed. 

After a little bit he headed down and we watched him leave. We again waited a few minutes before we also left. 

When we went outside Mouse was sitting in the back seat of the car and we walked over and got in. 

“Hey how did it go” I asked 

“Good I am now a seller a little bit see how it goes but we got our way in” Mouse said 

“OMG I told you that you could do this , we got a way in” Y/N said 

“Thanks Now let’s get the hell out of here” Mouse said 

“Alright let’s call it a night and we all meet in the morning” Voight said.

Mouse was a little quiet and I could tell he was nervous about this. But I knew it was all going to be worth it once we catched this son of a bitch. 

We drove off and I dropped Mouse off at his apartment. Me and Y/n left and it was quiet in the car after. 

I drove to her place and I parked the car and we both just sat there for a second before sitting in silence. 

She didn’t get out right away and I didn’t know what was wrong but I decided to break the silence. 

“Hey I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to ice you out or anything” I said 

She looked over at me and smiled. 

“It’s okay I just wanted to make sure everything was okay” She said. 

“Listen I need to be honest because if I can’t be honest with you then nothing else matters” I said. 

I could feel the anxiety building up inside of me and I needed to say it to her. Don’t ask me why now seemed like a good time.

 I guess after icing her out earlier maybe I thought I should tell her. 

“Hey so this girl I like I need to get over and move on from it’s you. I love you Y/n I have for a while and I haven’t been able to say because I know you feel about dating and being deployed so i didn’t say anything” I said.

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or change anything and I was scared” I said

“I uh” she said 

I could feel the anxiety bubbling up inside of me and I was worried that I just ruined my only good thing I had going on. 

She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze and she looked over and smiled at me. 

“I love you I really do and not just in a friendship type of way like romantic. But i’m scared because you are the only good thing I have but I have a lot going on mentally and I need time you know” She said 

“I want to keep working on being the most best version of myself but I do want this so if we could work slow and build up” Y/N said. 

I squeezed her hand back and looked over at her and smiled. I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. 

“I love every version of you but I want you to be the best version you can possibly be and I will be here for you on the other side when ever your ready I am here so take as long as you need” I said 

“ I love you Jay Halstead and I can’t Imagine what I would do without you” She said 

“Well you never have to know” I said. 

“How about you come up and we watch the hockey game and beers” Y/N said 

“I would live that let’s go” I said. 

We got up and headed in. We watched the game and laid out on the couch together and nights like these are worth everything.

[toppersjeep]

Chapter 12- I Miss You

The One -[Jay Halstead X Matt Casey]

link to master list with previous chapters

Elle’s POV

“So have you spoken to Jay” Stella asked. “Why would I” I said. “I mean maybe he’s sorry” Stella said. “Elena we have a call at the police headquarters ” Kelly said. “The police headquarters” I asked. “Yeah something about a bomb threat they need our expertise” Kelly said. “Alright” I said. “We can take my car” Kelly said.

“So just us” I said. “Yeah we are the only two who actually took the courses” Kelly said. “This should be fun” I said. We drove to the police headquarters and then went up to some meeting room. As soon as we turned the corner I saw my Dad. So I knew Jay would be there too. “Great” I said.

“Look put whatever you have aside okay we aren’t doing drama” Kelly said. “Copy that” I said. We walked in through the doors. “Ah there they are some of the city’s finest firefighters” Dad said. “Nice to meet you” the director said. “This is my daughter Elena Voight and her boss Kelly Severide” Dad said.

“Your daughter wow she grew up” the man said. “That she did” he said I smiled. “So what do you need our help with” Kelly asked. “Well we found a bomb earlier today and we think they are planning more attacks” he said.

“We do know what they already did one earlier today at a festival” Jay added. “Was anyone else hurt” I said looking at my dad. “We do have a missing police officer” Kim said. “He was working detail with Kim and disappeared” Adam said. “Maybe he’s a part of this” I said.

“No I know him he’d never do this” Kim said. “Sometimes people aren’t as them seem” I said looking at Jay. “So why do you need us” Kelly said. “Your experts in this stuff tell us what’s in it and how it was made” the director added. “Maybe we can figure out how to stop the next one” he said.

“Well one of them can work on it we do need backup” Adam said. “I’ll stay Elena” Kelly said. “Kelly” I said. “No you’ve got a better handle on the police thing so” Kelly said. “Elena go with Halstead” Dad said. “Dad” I said. “No complaints go” Dad said.

We then walked downstairs to the parking garage. Of course I had to be stuck with him.

“Come on”Jay said. “For the record I hate this idea” I said walking in front of him. “Elena I’ve told you I’m sorry multiple times” Jay said. “I don’t wanna hear this” I said getting into the passenger seat of his car.

(Crystal Reed as Elena Voight)

“You know your one of the most stubborn people I know” Jay said. “Just drive Jay” I said. “I’m just saying you are” he said stopping at a red light. “God why do I get roped into these things” I said. “Elle did you ever stop and think it’s because your good at what you do” Jay said.

“Jay” I said softly. “You are Elena you made Squad despite everyone at the academy telling you aren’t good enough” Jay said stopping the car. “Your an amazing firefighter Elena you’ve saved so many lives” Jay said putting a hand on mine.

“Yeah and what about the ones I didn’t Jay how do you cope with that” I said. “Think about the people you will save and the lives you’ll change” he said. I teared up. “I just” I said he hugged me tightly. “I know” Jay said. “Hey Halstead we got something” Adam said over the radio.

“Yeah what do you got” Jay said back. “We found the guy Atwater is bringing him in” Adam said. “Copy that” Jay said. “Sorry” I said. “No don’t apologize Elle just know I’m here for you” Jay said. “I appreciate that” I said he smiled.

“Want me to drop you back off at the firehouse” Jay asked. “Yeah that’s fine” I said. We drove back to the firehouse. He parked off to the side in the driveway. “Maybe we can talk later about everything tonight” Jay said. “Ummm.. yeah I’d like that” I said. “So I’ll see you tonight” Jay said. “I’ll see you” I said getting out. I watched as he drove off.

I then walked into the firehouse to see Matt talking to Otis.

“Hey how’d it go” Matt said. “Good I think” I said. “Well you were the right person for it” Matt said. “I’ll go over there I can feel the weirdness” Otis said walking over to the Squad table.

“He’s right there is a weirdness” I said. “Well we did kiss so” Matt said. “Yeah I know but” I said. “There’s always a but” Matt said. “I can’t do that Matt I wouldn’t to Gabby” I said. “And you still love him” Matt said. “I just” I said sighing. “No it’s alright you don’t have to explain yourself” Matt said.

“Well I gotta go take care of some stuff” I said. “Yeah so I’ll see you tonight at Mollys” Matt asked. “Rain check I got somewhere to be” I said. “Holding you to it Voight” Matt said.

Later…

Before I went to see Jay I stopped by the cemetery to see Jimmy. It had been almost seven months since he passed away. So I had brought flowers. Even though it had just began to snow. I knew I had to see him.

I got out of my car and walked over to his grave. They buried him beside his older brother.

“I don’t know how these things work” I said setting the flowers down on his headstone. “But I do know that I forgive you for everything” I said. “And I’ve been trying to forgive myself and it’s hard” I said tearing up. “Everyday I wonder if there was more I could’ve done to protect you” I said.

“You were one of my closest friends and I let you go down this path” I said wiping my tear. “I know I should’ve done more and I’m sorry” I said putting a hand on the headstone. “If your out there somewhere I hope your happier just know I miss you” I said softly. “And that the firehouse isn’t the same without you” I said.

“I really am sorry for being a shitty friend” I said. “Well I should be going but say hi to Justin for me” I said. I then drove away and drove to Jays. I walked up to his apartment and knocked on the door.

“Hey Elena thought we were meeting at Mollys” Jay said. “No I just wanted to stay in if that’s okay” I said. “Sure yeah” he said I walked into his apartment. “Before we talk or say anything I need to tell you something” I said he shut the door.

“What’s up” he said sitting on his couch. “Matt kissed me the other night” I said. “As in Matt Casey” he asked. “Yeah and I don’t feel anything for him I guess seeing you today made me realize” I said. “I’m telling you because I want this to work ,I want us to trust each other” I said.

“I do trust you Elle” he said cupping my cheek. “You know I love you right” I said. “I know” he said. “And Elena… I love you” Jay said. “Yeah” I said. “Yeah I do” he said I kissed him. “So movie night and pizza” Jay said.

“I’m so down for that” I said. “Good and wings I guess because you love them” he said I smiled. “You know me so well” I said.

[crazybagelbitch]

In honor of a conversation between @libraryofloveletters and I: have a dumb teeny tiny Moustead drabble!

“Really, this is nothing,” Jay says, waving his good arm dismissively, “just a through and through to the shoulder. Much better than the last time I was shot.”

“I swear to God,” Mouse mumbles under his breath, before pressing down hard on Jay’s bleeding shoulder and raising his voice, “sorry, I know it really hurts. Just keeping you alive and all. Don’t you dare die on me.”

“Psh, this isn’t even life threatening.”

“ALL gunshot wounds are life threatening,” Mouse all but growls, taking a deep breath, “I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but considering you’re the one bleeding on the ground, I think it should be the other way around. The ambulance will be here soon; it’s all going to be alright, I promise.”

“Baby, for real, this is nothing. Some of my non-gunshot injuries have been worse than this.”

Mouse takes another deep breath, trying not to lose it. There is nothing remotely okay or chill or relaxed about his boyfriend being shot in front of him, and yet, said boyfriend seems to be feeling all three.

I will not yell at Jay while he is shot, I will not yell at Jay while he is short. Those can’t be the last words I—

“Baby, I’m not dying,” Jay has the audacity to say with a LAUGH, reading Mouse’s mind, “I’ve had so much worse than this, you know that. Besides, when I finally go down, I’m not going to let it be because of some drunk redneck with a gun.”

“You’re not being funny. You were just shot and the ambulance isn’t here yet and you could— you could— you don’t KNOW that everything is going to be fine. Stop being an asshole and let me worry about you.”

“I mean, I guess I can’t stop you.”

“You are insane. You are literally insane. You were shot and you’re acting like it’s just another Tuesday. I love you so much, but I’m never going to forgive you for this.”

“Mousey, Honey, Baby… this is— I’m a Halstead. It’ll be okay.”

“Maybe, but it isn’t okay right NOW.”

“…That’s fair,” Jay concedes, mostly just to keep Mouse from having a stroke, “but one day we’ll laugh about this, yeah? Okay— don’t make that face. Message received. Maybe we won’t laugh about it, but it’ll be… baby, it’s… worse things have happened.”

“I don’t know about that,” Mouse sighs, relaxing just the slightest bit now that he can hear sirens, “I really need to keep you in full armor at all times, don’t I? You can’t keep doing this to me, lovey.”

“If it makes you feel better, Will is gonna flip out, too.”

“That’s the normal, proper human reaction, Jay.”

[vroomvroommuppett]

very proud of this one

[saragarnier]

Away from you pt. 3

pairing: jay halstead x reader

summary: Jay found you in your old apartment, packing all your belongings

Warning: None

A/N: well, i guess i have to write also part 4 now, stay tuned!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Previous part Next Part

One month passed after you left Chicago and Jay never gave up on you. Every single day, he tried to track your phone with Mouse, he tried to call you, hoping for your answer, and he used his power as a detective of the intelligence to find out if you used one of your credit cards somewhere.

For a month, Jay went home with the hope of finding you there, of discovering that you choose to give him another chance and every day he found himself alone in the house, with all your belongings still there. Sometimes he took out one of your t-shirts to feel your smell again and he discovered that he missed every single part of you. He missed the way you always prepared coffee for him too before leaving for work, he missed hearing your voice, he missed seeing your smile, he missed hugging you and cuddling with you on the bed before going to sleep, he missed your messages during the shift, and he missed searching for you at the Chicago Med every single time he went there for work.

He missed everything of you.

He missed you.

That day, Jay got home earlier after being shot on the job and he wasn’t prepared at all to find suitcases in the Hallway. He looked around and he spotted your ring, the one he gave to you and the one that was his mom’s before, on the kitchen counter, with a note nearby.

He walked towards it, and he lift the note to read it; there were only few words on it.

“Maybe you should give it to Hailey.”

Jay felt his heart skipping a beat, then he looked up when he heard something coming from the bedroom; he silently walked towards it, still shocked by the fact that you were there, you finally came home, and he finally had the chance to talk to you after weeks of silence. He thought he lost you forever and having the opportunity to talk to you was something he dreamed of for four weeks.

When he entered the bedroom, you were trying to grabbed a box that was high in the wardrobe, too high for you to reach for it. You gave up and turned around to grabbed a chair, but you stopped when you finally saw Jay in front of you, few meters away. He was still at the door frame, looking at you like he was actually looking at a ghost; he was skinnier than you remembered, and he looked like he didn’t sleep well for weeks.

You, on the other hand, looked beautiful as always. You were skinnier too but, besides that, you looked good.

“Y/n…” Jay was the first one to talk, whispering your name and looking at how your body reacted to his voice; you shivered at your name being said by him, the love of your life.

Even if you tried hard to forget him, Jay was still the love of your life and you couldn’t forget him or prevented you from reacting this way, especially when he was in front of you, as good as always. He was skinnier and he looked tired, but he was still beautiful to your eyes, even after what he did to you, even after seeing him having sex with someone else. You wanted to scream at him, you wanted to slap him in the face, and you wanted to go out of the apartment as soon as you could, but you were frozen and it looked like you couldn’t move or talk at all.

Minutes passed and there was silence between you two, then, finally, you found your voice again. “You should have been at work…” You said, gulping. “Will said you would have been at work and that the apartment would have been empty…”

Jay finally found the courage to make a small step towards you and, when he saw that you stayed where you were, he made another one, stopping right in front of you.

“I got shot on the job…” he said, lifting his shirt to show her a bandage around his abdomen. “I got shot and they sent me home to rest…”

Even after what he did to you, you couldn’t help but being worried for him; you made a step forward and you placed a hand on his abdomen, worried as hell. “W-What? Did you go to the hospital?”

Jay shivered, feeling your hand on his body. God, how he missed your touch.

“It wasn’t necessary… It’s nothing to be worried about, Sylvie looked at it on the ambulance and said that everything should have been good.”

“What? Didn’t you go to the hospital for a full check-up? Are you crazy?!” You exclaimed, pushing him on the bed and looking at him from above. “Take off your shirt, I’m going to check on you.”

You would have preferred to leave him and leave your apartment immediately, but you just couldn’t leave him there without being sure that everything was okay; you lift your sleeves and you took out the first-aid kit.

Jay tried to repress a smile, but he wasn’t able to. He looked at you, happy to see that you were still worried about him, happy to see that you actually cared about him still, even after what he did to you. Besides, having you trying to help him with the wound would have been an excellent excuse to talk to you before you left forever, because he knew that if you would have left that apartment, it would have been for forever.

He couldn’t let you do it, he couldn’t let you leave, not if he didn’t have the chance to explain everything to you.

“As you command…” He whispered, biting his lips and finally taking off his shirt. The bandage Sylvie put on him had a blood stain on the left side of his abdomen, where he was probably hit. Jay moaned in pain when you cut off the bandage, kneeling in front of him to have a better view and placing both your hand at the side of the wound. It still hurt, but nothing he wouldn’t have been able to handle.

“It went through…” You whispered, looking at the wound carefully. “Didn’t Sylvie talked about putting some stitches?”

“Yeah, maybe…” He whispered. “ She said that she recommended them, but I needed to go to the hospital, and I didn’t want to hear Will talking about how reckless I am on the job…”

“Well, Will’s got a point.” You said, shaking your head and grabbing all you needed to put some stiches. “You’re lucky I have everything I need here with me.”

“I’m lucky I fell in love with a doctor…” He corrected you.

Jay knew that he went too far when he saw your face; he wanted to apologize but he was interrupted by a moan of pain when you started to put stitches on him, not in the painless way possible. You had put stitches on him before and he perfectly knew that you were better than that, but he didn’t complain about it, after all he deserved to be punished for what he did to you, he deserved to feel some pain after how he treated you, after how you must have felt.

“Do not say it again.” You said, without looking at him once. “You have no rights to tell me that after what you did to me.”

You stayed focused on what you had to do, trying to not think about him having sex with Hailey, an image that followed you in New York and that persecuted you every time you slept. You remembered him on top of her every night and every night you heard him saying that he loved her again and again.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered looking at you and smiling when he saw you biting your bottom lip something you always do when you’re focused on something. “I wanted to talk to you and explain everything to you, but I couldn’t call you… I couldn’t find where you were.”

“Because I didn’t want to be found.” You spoke. “And I don’t want to hear anything from you; there’s nothing to explain. You slept with her for God knows how long.”

“That night was the first and the last one.” He immediately said.

“Liar.” You whispered, shaking your head and being rude with the next stich; you heard him moan in pain again, but you didn’t care. You were helping him even after what you did, and he still had the courage to lie to you? you couldn’t accept it. “Kim told me that you left work at 8 pm for weeks and I thought that you stayed at work trying to have a promotion while you were actually sleeping with your partner!”

“It’s true that I lied to you for weeks, but I never slept with Hailey before that night; we used to talk, just talk.” He replied, shaking his head and grabbing your chin gently, trying to look at you in the eyes.

“Do you really think I’m this stupid, Jay?” You spoke, shaking your head and trying to lower your gaze on the wound again. “And leave me, I need to look at the wound if you want to heal properly.”

Jay let go of your chin, sighing heavily and trying to think about what to say. How could he explain you what was happening in his head? How could he explain you for what reason he did what he did?

“I don’t think you’re stupid, y/n…” He whispered softly, looking at you when you finished putting stitches at him. “It’s true that we only talked for few weeks, I didn’t want to cheat on you, I didn’t plan it. I’m sorry, I really am because you don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve to suffer like you do, but you need to know what happened, so please listen to me…”

You didn’t want to listen to him, you didn't want to pay any attention to his words, you wanted to leave and you wanted to come back to New York City and forget about everything that happened here in Chicago, but you couldn’t leave without having a proper explanation. You spent weeks wondering with you had done wrong that brought him to cheat on you.

“Talk…” You spoke, while putting back the first-aid kid. “You have five minutes.”

“Working in the Intelligence is not easy as I want everyone to think… what you see on the streets…” He said, sadly. “I needed to talk about it, but I didn’t want to put all of this on you; I didn’t want to add my problems to yours, especially since I know that working at Chicago Med it’s not easy at all. I didn’t want to add all the problems of my job on you, I needed someone to talk and Hailey was there: she worked with me, she was my partner and she saw everything that I saw. I could talk about job with her and I could explain everything that came to my mind, but I never, never actually thought about cheating on you.” He said, looking at you in the eyes and placing a hand on your cheeks.

“Then why did you sleep with her? Why did you tell her that you loved her?” You whispered, not understanding why he slept with her if that was the truth.

“She kissed me and after that I don’t actually know what happened, it happened to fast. I know that I messed up everything and I have no excuses. That night I was with her because I tried to help a little girl that was kidnapped, but she was shot in front of me and she died in my arms. I was too shocked, it was too much, especially when I had to tell her parents that I couldn’t have save her.” He said, looking down at the floor. “When I told her that I loved her, I was actually thinking about you and, when we finished I… I couldn’t look at her… I came home and I was actually thinking about telling you everything the next morning, but you weren’t there. I was so worried that something bad happened to you that I was out of my mind.”

You listened to him carefully, then you got up and you cover your face behind your hands, confused. What was you supposed to do? Why didn’t he talk to you? Why did he choose Hailey over you? Was it real that he just talked to her for weeks? Was it real that he cheated on you just that night?

You didn’t know what to think, nor what to do, you just kept walking around the room, again and again.

“y/n…” He whispered softly, getting up and walking towards you. He wrapped his arms around your body and he hugged you gently. “I’m so sorry… please, tell me what I can do to gain your trust again. I still love you, y/n, and I can’t lose you. give me another chance and I will show you that I deserved it. Please.”

“I don’t know, jay… i… I don’t know!” You replied. “Let… let me think about it, okay?”

“Yes!” He said, smiling. “Yes, of course.”

Maybe there was still hope for them.

Maybe not everything was lost.

Maybe he could still repair everything.

Maybe he didn’t lose you, after all.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Antonio Dawson

Jay Halstead

Jay Halstead & Kim Burgess

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz

[unknowntoyou2205]

Scared for her life (3/4)

Info: Jay can't help but worry for the girl he used to work with

Requested by @maybankangel-blog

Series Masterlist

Y/n blinked as she came round from the hit on the head. She blinked a few times as she rubbed her head before sitting up and opening her eyes. She looked out the window to see if she could see anything, but they were long out of the city, and were now on back roads. Instead, she turned her vision in front to see two figures sitting in front of the car, talking.

“They’re getting onto us.” One of the spoke, and the guy driving sighed. “We need to figure something out Dareen, get them off our trace.” The guy driving spoke, and y/n recognized the voice of the guy who took her. “And how do you suppose we do that, we have five missing girls, there not going to just forget about them.” The guy, now known as Dareem, stated harshly at his friend. “I don’t know okay.” The guy snapped back “I just need to think”

“What are you going to do with me?” Y/n decided to make herself known, and Dareen glanced back at her. “Well look who’s awake.” He mocked her, and y/n rolled her eyes at him. “We won’t be doing anything to you, yet.” The driver stated, eyeing her in the mirror. “Can I know your names?” Y/n asked, now putting up an act of fear. “The least you know the better.” Dareen stated, and y/n sighed. “Can you tell me where you’re going? I don’t see any lights, so we must be outside the city.” Y/n stated, and Dareen looked back at her, narrowing his eyes. “It doesn’t matter where we’re going.” The driver snapped at her, and she shrunk back in her seat. “I just want to know where I am so I can tell my parents not to worry about me. They’re expecting me home at 11 tonight.” “Well guess you missed your time.” The guy spoke back at her teasingly, and y/n forced tears to come up. “Please, just tell me something. I want to go home.” Y/n chocked, and the driver looked back at her, eyes softening slightly. “You want to go home?” He asked, pretending to care, “Well too bad, your with us now.” “We’ll take care of you, for now.” Dareen winked at her, and y/n frowned at the thoughts spiralling in her head.

-------------------------------------

Jay took two steps at a time as he and Erin returned to intelligence from Med. Will had told him to prevent straining his arm till the stitches came out, but Jay just waved him off. He didn’t care about him, all he cared about was y/n.

“Found anything yet?” Jay asked, looking at Mouse desk where Adam and Keving were currently at. “They’ve taken her outside the city and one of them is called Dareen.” Adam stated, and Jay’s face hardened. “Do we know what they want with her?” Erin asked. “They just said they’d look after her.” Mouse spoke, and Kevin hit his arm as he seen Jay’s hand ball into a fist. “Don’t look too much into it, I’m sure y/n can look after herself.” Erin stated, putting a hand on Jay’s shoulder, frowning as he shook it off.

“Quiet, they’re talking again.” Mouse shouted at everyone, causing silence to come throughout the room.

------------------------------------

Y/n looked around at the place as the car came to a stop. They clearly didn’t care about her seeing where she was as they made no effort to prevent her vision as Dareen took her out of the car, keeping a grip on her arm. She looked around as they walked towards a house.

“Where are we” She asked, and the unknown guys head whipped around to look at her. “ Enough of the questions, we’ll tell you what we want you to know alright.” He snapped at her, and y/n cowered back from him.

She refused to make any more noise, instead allowing Dareen to push her towards a cottage, that seemed to be well taken care of. The light yellow paint on the walls was a stark contrast to what happened behind its walls. And what happened behind these walls were still unknown to y/n, but clearly it wasn’t going to be long till she found out.

The unknown man opened the door and held it open as Dareen and y/n walked inside. She looked around to see a kitchen and living room before a hall was seen with stairs. Dareen pushed y/n towards the hall before proceeding to take out a kay from his pocket. He banged on the door before unlocking it, swinging the door open.

Y/n looked inside to see 5 young women placing hands up to their faces, trying to block the light that strayed into room with the open door.  Y/n glanced at Dareen before he pushed her into the room. She toppled over the steps only for one of the girls to catch her, preventing herself from falling.

“Make your new friend feel welcome girls.” Dareen called out before slamming the door and locking it.

Y/n looked around as her eyes grew used to the low light present in the room she was now held captured in. The girls around her looked at her before turning away, some lying down on dodgy mattresses while others leaned against the walls.

“Hi.” She spoke softly, acting unsure of herself. “Hey.” A timid girl replied, looking around at her fellow hostages, “Don’t worry, they don’t talk very much. Some of us have been here for a long time and just lost the will to communicate.” She explained, nodding towards the girls who ignored her. “Do you know where we are?” Y/n asked the girl who spoke to her, walking to sit beside the girl. “I think it’s Dareen or Kyles house, we’re not really sure. We get given little information around here.” The girl shrugged, looking down at her lap. “Dareen & Kyle, they’re the ones who are holding us here?” Y/n asked, trying to gather information. “Yeah. They seem pretty open about what we hear so I don’t think they plan to have us getting out of here, at least not alive anyway.” The girl spoke, looking y/n in the eye as she said the facts.” “You say they’re pretty open, do you know much about them?” Y/n asked. “They’re two guys who take girls and sell them on for guys to marry. They travel around to avoid getting caught.” “They’re smart I’ll give them that.” Y/n muttered, giving credit to the guys for their smartness. “Would I of heard of them?” “Probably not. They go by Montez brothers.”

------------

“Montez brothers, last related to a case of 5 missing girls in South Carolina. One of the girls were found beaten up by a domestic situation where she reported them as kidnapping her. They fled and haven’t been found since.” Mouse stated, looking up from his computer to Voight. “Where are they residing now.” Voight asked. “r/a.” Mouse stated. “Let’s roll.”

Jay didn’t need to be told twice as he made a run towards his jeep, Erin following in toll.

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Three)

Summary: This is Part Twenty-Two of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Injury Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, Team as Family, Road Trip, Kissing, Romance, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing, Eventual Happy Ending

Chapter One Chapter Two

Chapter Three

You have ONE new message.

“Hey, man, it’s Ed. Sorry for the early call, just wanted to check in. I know you had your hands full getting Bex settled back in at home last night and you couldn’t make it out to the meeting, but we haven’t had a chance to talk really since everything, well…since everything. I know it’s been rough and you’re focused on Bex—and rightfully so, I get it. I just—listen, don’t forget yourself in all of this. It’s a lot to be dealing with and me and Chuck and everybody, we’re here for you, okay, Mouse? If you need to talk or have a break or whatever…we’re here…Okay. That’s all I got. Talk to you soon, bud. Count on it.”

To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press NINE.

To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press NINE.

Are you still there?

To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press—

Message saved.

***

Mouse

“Let’s negotiate, shall we?”

Mouse could’ve almost bought Bex’s cocky offer if she wasn’t currently relying on the wall to keep herself upright. And the fact that she was turning an alarming shade of gray just from trying to walk to the elevator.

This was not going to end well.

Jay, like he’d heard Mouse’s thought and accepted it as a personal challenge, went on the offense as he shouldered past to get to Bex. “Negotiate? No, uh-uh,” he said, thrusting a hand out towards her. “Gimme your keys and we’re getting you back inside to rest.”

“Jay—”

“Quit arguing. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Will you please just listen to me for one second,” Bex yelled, pressing a hand to her forehead as she closed her eyes. She took a shaky breath before opening them again. “I can’t stay here knowing that Will’s having a hard time and that Emery is—that they’re waking her up soon.”

Jay sighed. “You going there won’t help—”

“Stop! I know! Okay? I know I can’t actually do anything for Will and that Connor has him covered, but Emery—” Bex’s eyes filled with tears and Mouse found himself moving before he had a chance to second guess himself.  

He ducked around Jay and stepped into Bex’s space, slowly, giving her a chance to wave him off. Instead, she let out a soft noise and swayed toward him, dropping her forehead to his chest.

Mouse carefully brought his arms up around her and she mumbled something. “Say that again?” he asked quietly.

“I need to be there.” Bex turned her head so they could hear her and whatever her face was doing had Jay’s falling. “What if it was one of you? Wouldn’t you want to be there? So that when they woke up, they’d know that they’re safe?”

Jay met his eyes over Bex’s head and Mouse knew they were both thinking of the same moment.

Of Jay on a cot in a tent in the middle of nowhere and Mouse pushing through medics so he could be by his side. He would have fought through anyone to be there.

Knew in his bones Jay would have done the same.

Jay cursed softly under his breath, shoulders dropping as he dragged a hand over his face. They waited as he fought whatever internal battle he had to get through before he shook his head and shrugged. “None of us can go anywhere without shoes and actual clothes.” He made a ‘gimme’ gesture at Bex’s bag. “Keys.”

She handed it over wordlessly and he dug through until he found them, moving to open the front door. “We’re gonna get in so much shit for this,” he grumbled. “No, Kol, back up. You’re in trouble too, mister. Chris is gonna ground every single friggin’ one of us.”

Mouse and Bex followed him into the apartment as he kept muttering to himself, heading back toward the bathroom. “No one’s allowed to try and escape again while I’m in here,” he called out before closing the door.

“Bossy,” Mouse mouthed at Bex, hoping it would make her smile. She granted him a small one before it faded away into a frown.

“I’m being stupid, aren’t I?” Bex looked up at him with wide, wet eyes. “I’m sor—”

“Hey, no, don’t do that,” Mouse said as he pulled her into another gentle hug. “You’re not being stupid—you were right. I’d be doing the exact same thing if I was in your shoes. Or socks I should say.” She shook with a muffled laugh and he counted that as a win. “Yeah, maybe trying to sneak out was not one of your better plans, but I get it, Bex. I do.”

He let her go and tugged on one of the strings of his hoodie hanging over her shoulders. “This your special escapee outfit?”

“It’s cozy,” she sniffed at him, mouth twitching up at the corners. “And it matches my socks.”

“In that case, you should probably keep it.”

That got him a real, true Bex smile. “I don’t remember offering to give it back.”

“What is this?” Jay came hustling out of the bathroom, fully dressed finally. “Still no shoes? You just standing out here making heart eyes at each other?” He huffed as he hopped around pulling on his own shoes. “Kol, I thought you were supposed to be in charge?”

Kol popped up from where he’d been lounging on the couch and let out a little howl. Jay held up his hands in apology. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s more than a one-dog job.”

“You’re so ridiculous,” Bex said, laughing a bit as she stepped away from Mouse. “I’m getting them—oh—” Her eyelids fluttered as she tilted dangerously to the side.

“Whoa!” Jay leapt into action beside him. They both steadied her from either side and carefully maneuvered her over to sit on the couch, Kol whining as he wiggled back to make room. “I was just joking,” Jay said softly as he crouched down in front of her. “There’s no rush. We’ve got plenty of time.”

“No, I’m good, I’m fine.” Bex listed again as she tried to get up. “We can go right now.”

“Let’s take a minute anyway,” Mouse said. At this rate, they’d be taking her to the hospital to be readmitted. “I think maybe we need to get some more food and fluids into you?”

Bex grimaced, sinking back into the couch. “I would really like to not yak today.”

Mouse sent Jay a look that he hoped said ‘I’m here to help and be supportive and do what I can, but also, I’m the boyfriend and I refuse to be bad cop so that’s all you, dude.’

And then Jay sent him a look that clearly said ‘Fuck you, dude, but fine, whatever.’

Excellent communication. Go team.

Jay got to his feet with a groan, crossing his arms as he stared Bex down. “You’re going to have something else to eat, then another rest, and then we’ll go.” He held up a finger before she could open her mouth. “I already checked in with Connor and Kira while I was getting dressed. Will’s getting patched up again, but he’s going to be absolutely fine. They said this kind of thing happens and they caught it early so no one is worried. And Kira said the doctors don’t expect Emery to start waking up properly for at least another few hours. At least.”

He lowered his hand, the stern lines in his face softening. “I’m saying we’ve got time for you to take care of yourself, Bex,” he said. “Take a few hours so you can handle a proper visit, okay?”

“…fine,” Bex sighed.

“Awesome, I’ll get some of that soup reheated,” Jay said before turning to Kol. “Keep her on the couch, bud.”

Kol barked once before snuggling into Bex’s side.

“Ha ha, you’re all hilarious.” Bex immediately started giving Kol pets, even as she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, Jay’s got soup,” Mouse said, pressing a kiss to Bex’s head before straightening up. “I’ll get drinks and maybe some more toast.” He was good at toast.

Jay punched his arm on the way to the kitchen.

“Ah, hey, what was that for?”

“You know exactly what that was for.”

Fair.

***

Bex

Bex had almost forgotten how much of a Mama Chicken Jay could be. Like, rivaling Chris levels. Once she got over being annoyed, she’d probably be impressed.

After the food and fluids and the intense efforts at not puking and then the pretending to be resting, it was late afternoon by the time they finally made it to Med. According to Connor, Will was still sleeping so they went to Emery’s floor first.

Kira came out as soon as she saw them in the hall, a wide smile on her face. “Bex,” she whispered as she wrapped her up in a hug. “You’re here!” The smile dropped as she pulled away, looking between her and Mouse and Jay. “Why are you here? You’re supposed to be resting. And healing. And not rambling around the hospital.”

She shot a pointed look at Mouse and Jay who both held their hands up.

“Listen,” Jay began and Bex stepped in.

“I made them bring me,” she said, reaching out to grab Kira’s hand. “I had to—I needed to be here.” Bex took a deep breath. “How’s she doing?”

“Really well,” Kira said, squeezing her hand back. “Her stats keep improving and she’s already opened her eyes a couple of times. Had a bit of water. She falls back asleep like, immediately, so you haven’t missed much, but…it’s good, Bex. She’s good.”

And oh—that—

That had Bex choking back a sob as she peered over Kira’s shoulder into the room. “That’s really—”

“Good?” Kira offered with an equally watery grin.

“Yeah,” Bex nodded. “Can I—is it okay if I sit with her?”

“Why are you even asking? Come on.” Kira ushered her inside and got her set up in the chair beside Emery’s bed before leaving the room. She moved to sit in the lounge with Mouse and Jay—close enough to be there if they were needed, but still giving her some privacy.

Bex shuffled forward a bit in her chair and reached out to take Emery’s hand. “Hey,” she whispered. “It’s me again. I know—I can’t get enough of this place, right?”

The monitors beeped quietly around them. Bex focused on the rise and fall of Emery’s chest and the soft hiss of air as she breathed under the mask.

There was a hint of colour coming back into her cheeks.

That was good.

All of this is good, Bex reminded herself. It means she’s still alive. She’s healing.

“I’ve been back at the apartment,” she said, watching Emery’s face for any kind of movement. “Chris wanted me to go home to their place, but, uh—I’m—I’m at our place and Jay and Mouse are staying with me. They made this really…sort of unidentifiable, but also kind of delicious soup.” Bex laughed quietly. “I should freeze some so you can try it.”

Emery’s fingers twitched in hers.

“Em?” Bex’s breath caught in her throat. “Hey, I’m here. It’s Bex. I’m right here. Open your eyes, Emery. It’s okay.”

A soft groan made its way through the mask as Emery slowly blinked her eyes to halfway open. “Be—”

“Yes, hi, it’s me. It’s Bex.” She struggled her way out of the chair, ignoring the ripples of pain in her side so she could lean over Emery and be in her line of sight. “I’m right here, Emery.”

Emery reached up, patting at Bex’s cast. “You’re…hurt,” she whispered.

“Only a little,” Bex said. The tears filling her eyes started to spill over as pure relief flowed through her. Emery was awake. She was talking. She was here.

“Bex.” Emery gripped her hand, cheeks wet with her own tears. “Bex. Sorr—”

“Don’t you dare,” Bex said fiercely, leaning in close. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, Emery Hughes or I will—I don’t know, but it’ll be drastic. This is not your fault. It’s his and we’re not giving him any space in here right now, okay? Because we are here. We made it. We’re alive and we’re going to be okay. That’s what matters. Do you hear me?”

Emery stared up at her, a whole battle clearly raging in her own head, but it wasn’t time for that. Not yet.

“We’re here,” Bex repeated, willing the words into Emery’s heart. “We’re alive. And we’re gonna be okay.”

“Okay,” Emery finally whispered.

“Exactly.” Bex smiled, moving back carefully to sit down again, but still close.

“Wait.” Emery frowned and Bex froze.

“What’s wrong? Should I get a nurse?”

“Mouse,” Emery said, somehow managing to raise an eyebrow through her still mostly out of it state. “…moved in?”

“That’s the part you heard?” Bex groaned out a laugh.

“Details.” Emery whispered.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bex said, squeezing Emery’s hand gently. “I’ll tell you the whole not-actually exciting story when you wake up.”

Because Bex would still be there.

She didn’t think she could leave until it really sunk in.

Emery was here. She was alive.

And she was going to be okay.

“Promise?” Emery mumbled, already mostly back asleep.

“Yeah, Em,” Bex said. “I promise.”

***

Jay

Jay sat beside Mouse in the lounge, keeping a clear view of Bex sitting with Emery in the ICU. He still wasn’t sure if bringing her here was the best idea. Bex looked like a light breeze could knock her over and Emery probably wasn’t even going to remember this visit.

But Bex would.

And if it helped her settle and let her focus more on her own recovery, then wasn’t that a good thing?

That was the argument he was going to offer Chris anyway when he inevitably found out about this and tore a strip off of him. In the very kind and yet gut-wrenching way that only Chris seemed to manage.

Mouse elbowed him suddenly and Jay looked up to see Dr. Abrams striding toward them.

Oh.

Crap.

“Gentlemen,” Dr. Abrams said, arms folded as he stared down at them in a way that almost had Jay shrinking back into his seat. “I’m only going to ask this question once. Why do I see Ms. Herrmann sitting in the ICU when she is supposed to be at home? Resting. Which was doctor’s orders, I believe.”

Jay shot a look at Mouse who was giving him that same ‘not it’ look from the living room which was even less helpful now than it was then.

“Okay, um,” Jay began. “I can explain…”

“Oh, good,” Chris said, popping up out of freaking nowhere with that very distinct look on his face that Jay had been picturing since Bex tried to make a break for it and it was exactly as awful as he thought it would be. “Because, I gotta say, Jay, I would also love to hear how this happened.”

“First of all,” Jay said, stalling, trying to figure out where to start, maybe panicking a little bit. “It’s also Mouse’s fault.”

“Dude.”

Click here to read Chapter Four. Click here to read Chapter Five.

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @thebejeweledwatercat, @lookingfortherainbow85

[momentaryescape]

Helpless

Jay Halstead X Wife!Reader Warnings: None? Similar to how Hailey was when Jay left Word Count: 741

You were praying the pain in your heart would stop. That all the hurt you had been through was just a horrible nightmare. But it wasn’t. It was your reality, and you couldn’t just leave it. Piece by piece you could feel yourself shutting down, your walls building high. And for the first Jay wasn’t there to put you back together.

The case you were working on kept getting worse and worse. Following lead after lead, looking into case after case trying to see if there was anything that could get you any closer to solving and closing the case. This was the first case after Jay left, and they could tell you needed him.

 Hailey was the first to realize you were struggling. Offering you someone to talk to, but you didn't want to put anymore onto her. Torres was next, not ging you a choice but to talk. He got you a coffee when you were out chasing leads, and you broke down when he asked if you were okay. He told you that it was okay and he was there if you needed him. Kevin and Kim followed soon after that, then Adam. All trying to offer support. Hank and Trudy tried convincing you to sit this one out, but you couldn't. This was your job, and you needed to do it. You also needed the distraction.

But no matter how hard you tried the loneliness crept in whenever you were alone. His absence in your bed, the one you shared. The smell of his cologne fading from your apartment. Your ring only a reminder that he wasn't there with you. Everything was different without him. Every routine changed.  It was like you were back before you and Jay got together. Except this time he was still yours. You hoped at least.

You hadn’t heard from him since he left. No phone call, or letter. It was radio silence. You knew contact would be scarce, but this felt like overkill. You missed your husband but there was nothing you could do to bring him back.

~

After weeks Intelligence was able to solve the case. You had the next few days off. You stayed in bed sobbing. Finally able to fall apart. You were allowed to be upset, but it felt like you should be happy. Happy Jay was doing something good. But you hated it.  Why didn’t he talk to you? Tell you what he was going through? That he was going back into the military? He felt hurt when Mouse reenlisted, why would he keep that from you? You would have supported him, you just wanted him to tell you what he was going through.

After spending all day in bed crying your throat was raw from the sobs. You made your easy to the kitchen, grabbing whiskey. And while it wouldn't soothe the pain in your throat, it would help distract you, even for a short time. It burned going down, but the burn preoccupied your brain for a minute.

You didn’t have a lot, just enough for a light buzz. Deciding that you needed to try calling Jay you grabbed your phone. You knew he wouldn't pick up the phone, and that your buzz was pushing you to do this. But you did it anyway.

The phone rang until you got his voicemail.

“Hey it's Jay, I missed your call but leave a message and I’ll call you back”

Your voice cracked as you began to speak. “Hey, Jay…It's me. I miss you. I know you are probably busy, but I wish I could hear your voice.” your voice cracked more as you spoke. Tears started falling as you continued. “I’m not doing great with you gone. I keep expecting to wake up and you be next to me in bed. That when I walk upstairs at the station you will be talking to the team from behind your desk. But every day I wake up and that doesn't happen.” You whipped the tears that were falling from your eyes.

“It shouldn't be this hard. I miss you and my world has gone dark without your light. I wish you would come home. But I know that’s not fair to ask, or say. But I need you. I love you, Jay. I wish you would talk to me. Goodbye.” You ended the voicemail and started to sob. Hoping he would come back to you soon.

[samantha-chicago]

Chicago PD Masterlist

Reaction (Will Halstead, Adam Ruzek x Everleigh Lindsay)

Photographs (Antonio Dawson, Intelligence x Reader) 

Baby (Adam Ruzek x Reader)

Panic (Adam Ruzek x Reader)

Shooting (Adam Ruzek x Manning!Reader)

Saving Him ( Reader x Adam Ruzek, Alvin Olinsky, Intelligence, Med)

Back Home (Jay Halstead x Halstead!Reader (Wife), Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater)

Back In Town (Reader x Adam Ruzek, Kelly Severide, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz, Jay Halstead, Will Halstead, Intelligence + More) Part I Part 1 *NSFW*  Part 2

Blood (Kevin Atwater x Reader)  

No Air (Adam Ruzek x reader, Kelly Severide x sister!reader)

That's Alvin Olinksy (Leslie Shay x Halstead!Reader)

Meet The Boyfriend (Dante Torres x reader)

Protective *NSFW* (Dante Torres x Atwater!reader)

[crazybagelbitch]

“oh, good, you’re here! hold this.” + Mouse and Jay 💜

this is just straight up silly i'm sorry lmao

Mouse hears footsteps bounding down the stairs into his tech dungeon-- that's what Platt calls it-- and smiles. He knows those footsteps; only one member of Intelligence is willing to risk falling down the stairs like that.

Reckless idiot, Mouse thinks to himself affectionately.

"Oh, good, you're here!" Jay announces cheerfully, before handing him a box tied up with a bow, "hold this."

"Did I forget out anniversary...?"

Jay turns to him, patented glare of sass on his face, "Greg, we've been dating less than a year."

"Whose birthday did I forget then?"

"No one's," Jay sighs, rolling his eyes for show, "it's for Antonio."

"Why are you giving me--"

"Because he'll see it upstairs, and I'm waiting to give it to him at the end of the day," Jay states, as if he's obvious and it's Mouse's fault that he's not following. If it's not Antonio's birthday, why has Jay gotten him a gift? And why does it have to be hidden under his desk until the end of the day?

"It's no one's birthday... but it is the day someone is signing their divorce members."

Mouse chuckles despite himself, not wanting to encourage Jay's behavior but being too amused by it to try and fake having some higher moral ground.

"This box is full of alcohol, isn't it?"

"I love you!" Jay says playfully, winking and then kissing Mouse on the cheek, before bounding up the stairs much like how he had descended them--

--Except this time Mouse hears a crash and an "oww" about halfway up the staircase.

Sorry Antonio, Mouse thinks to himself, I might need to keep this.

[stefanmikaleson1864]

New Beginnings

Requested by @kzgsox

Jay halstead x female greader

Lindsey gets upset at her boyfriend Jay when she finds him comforting the girl he was in love with who served in the rangers with him and mouse,when a guy from the readers past is halled into the station and question the reader has a full blown panic attack having never told anyone what had happened an ends up being the solid source of the reasoning the guy gets put away for good and Jay stays by her side the whole time and they end up together

A/N: I Really hope everyone enjoys this ! And if you like my work please comment like and Reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work

Y/N’s POV 

Things had been hard ever sense coming home from the rangers. You thought the moment you touched down on US soil everything would be okay.

 That you would be able to take off the uniform and put all those bad memories and feelings into the closet and lock it away. 

But that wasn’t the case which seemed pretty obvious now. Things were not doing okay and you were not where you thought you would be in live. 

You thought you would be married with kids and having a career. But that was from the life you had now. 

You were in bad relationship with a guy you had no business being with. He was a piece of crap guy. 

He always took every little thing out on you. And you always just ended up taking it. Not wanting to make the situation worse. 

With your PTSD and other things you had going on you thought life was as good as it was going to get. 

That you didn’t want to burden someone else with the struggles you were going through. Someone else didn’t deserve the weight you carried. 

Everyone you knew from the rangers had gone their own way. You never really kept in contact with them and decided it was best that way. 

Maybe seeing them would be to hard. Or that is what you told yourself anyways. 

The connections you had were just gone and it was honestly hard dealing with the pain of that to. 

You had 2 other people you were close with that you thought you had true connections to. 

Jay halstead and Greg Gerwitz aka Mouse. It was always the 3 of you together  and you seemed to have different feelings for Jay. 

The kind that missed him while he was gone and always got butterflies when he touched you. 

You thought about asking him out but you didn’t want to ruin one of the most important relationships you had. Besides he never seemed to recuperate so you didn’t want to get hurt. 

Once the 3 of you were honourably discharged and thanked for your service you all went back home.

 Conveniently you all lived in Chicago which is what also strengthen your bond. But once you all got home you went your separate ways. 

Maybe it was just hard on them to so you tried your best to understand. So you went into your little box and then just shut out the world. You didn’t even bother trying it all just seemed so pointless

But now it just seemed like someone was taking a hammer and breaking at the box making you come out.

  You tried to patch the holes but it seemed like it wasn’t working and you just didn’t know what to do. 

It wasn’t even a good thing that it was breaking at least right now it wasn’t. You knew your boyfriend was up to no good and know he was getting you involved in it. 

He was running drugs at first. You knew that and against your better judgement you didn’t do anything about it. He wasn’t getting involved so you didn’t say anything. But now he was upping his game. 

He was selling weapons and bomb materials. He was using your name on the weapons so they didn’t check his background. 

You didn’t even know until now because you got a letter in the mail about your background check 

You were shocked obviously , confused and hurt. You kept thinking about what you were going to do ?

 You knew you had a duty to protect the public it was in your blood. But then the other part of you was worried that no one would believe you.

You also wondered what the hell Keith would say ? I mean not that you cared what that horrible man would think but you also tried so hard not to even think about it. 

Right now you were sitting at the table in your kitchen biting your nails. Something you did when you were always nervous. 

Suddenly the door opened up and they slammed the door breaking your thoughts. You also jumped out of fear. 

“Y/n where the hell are you” The voiced barrelled out. 

Keith of course 

“Hey babe I’m in here “ You said quietly 

“We need to leave right now “ keith said. 

“What no i’m not leaving” You said 

“I really wasn’t asking let’s go” He yelled

“Why don’t you talk to me and we can work this out okay” You pleaded 

“I’m not talking about this anymore” He yelled grabbing your arm. 

You snatched it back and then stood up to look him in his eyes. 

“I know okay I know why you want to go” You said 

“How” was all he asked

“They sent me a letter in the mail from my background check” You said 

“Damn it” He yelled knocking stuff on the table.

It shook you up and you just kept starting down at the ground. Not knowing what the hell your next move should be right now. A little to scared to move. 

Suddenly the front door swung open again and you heard shouting 

“Chicago PD No one move” A familiar voice yelled out. 

You snapped your head up to the blonde hair man looking just as shocked as you. 

“Y/N Omg is that you” Jay asked 

“Jay what the hell is going on” You asked. 

“You know each other” A brown haired girl asked she was very pretty. 

“Yeah we were in the military together” Jay asked 

Some brown haired guy walked over and grabbed you 

“Come on put your hands behind your back” He said 

You looked over at pleading eyes to Jay. You didn’t even do anything wrong. This was all on him. 

“No let her go I got her” Jay said. 

He walked over to you and touched your arm slightly and nodded you for him to follow you. The brown hair girl looked at him with a confused and upset look.

He just seemed to shrug it off and walk past her and went straight outside. You didn’t say anything to him thought still a bit shaken up. You were just confused about was going on. 

Jay didn’t say anything either and you had a heart time reading what he was feeling or what he was even thinking. He walked you out to a black car and opened up the door and sat you in the back. 

Then he looked around for a little bit like he was making sure no one was looking and he got in on the other side. 

His face was reading like it was hurt and he didn’t know what to say because he didn’t want to hurt you. You knew he was pretty disappointed in seeing you wrapped in all of this. 

“ Do not say anything okay you hear me” He said 

“What do you mean I didn’t do anything” You pleaded with him. 

“Y/N look i know your name was pulled up in the damn report to buy the stuff” Jay said 

“That’s how far It got and I didn’t even know he was using my name at all I swear okay Jesus I would Never” You said 

“Okay if that’s what you say but when we get there not a damn word to anyone but me” He said. 

“Fine” You said just sitting back and not really saying anything. 

Jay got out and he walked away and you didn’t know where he went because the windows were tinted and you couldn’t even see anything. 

You just laid you head back and squeezed your eyes closed. You just hoped maybe when you would open them back up it would be some sort of dream. That this wasn’t really happening to you. 

You could feel the tears rolling down on your cheek. The salty water hitting your lips. God how did you get here and why. This wasn’t happening not to you. 

Suddenly you sat up and opened your eyes when the car doors opened up. You sat up and wiped the tears away. Jay and the brown haired girl got in. There was a air in the car like you could just tell they were arguing about something. 

You just sat up and put your seat belt on and they took off. No one was speaking and you could cut the tension with a knife. 

You just kept driving on the way to the station. You finally made it there and they pulled up in the front. They both got out and Jay walked over to your side and opened up the door. 

You got out and he kept right by your side without moving, It was hard to tell if it was because he was keeping you from running or was he protecting you. It seemed like the latter but it was hard to tell. 

You walked into the station and it seemed like everyone had stopped what they were doing and just stared at you. Or maybe you were just being dramatic. 

There was a lady at the front desk who looked up and gave a mean look towards your way. You wondered what the hell you did to her. 

Jay didn’t say anything he just walked you up the stairs and keyed in some numbers and the door opened up. 

You walked up the stairs and walked into a office/ work pen area. There were desk every where and you were surprised to see something on what was obviously Jay’s desk. There was a picture on the desk with you Jay and Mouse. 

It made your heart pound. And you can’t believe he kept it. DId it mean something or was it just sentimental ? You felt like you were getting in your head again. 

He walked you to a room and he pointed for you to sit down. He went and shut the door behind him. You didn’t see where the other girl went. She got lost in the crown downstairs. 

He just looked at you with concern in his eyes. Your pride was getting the best of you because you were going to start this conversation. Jay was probably thinking the same thinking because he wasn’t saying anything either. 

Finally he bit his tongue and spoke up. 

“What the hell is going on” He asked in a soft tone. 

You didn’t really say anything just kept looking down at your hands and playing with your fingers.  He grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze and then you finally looked up at him. 

You didn’t know what to say or know where to start really. So you just took a deep breathe and tried to muster up some strength to start. 

“ I wasn’t lying I mean I legit just found he was using my name to buy weapons okay I was gonna say something” You said. 

“ I did know about the dealing and stuff I just figured it wasn’t that big of a deal” You shrugged. 

“Not that big of a deal we fought to protect to keep people safe now your sleeping with low lives what the hell happened to you” Jay yelled. 

You started feeling the anxiety creep up inside of you. You felt like your breathing was staggering and you felt like you were getting dizzy. You thought you were going to pass out. 

You closed your eyes and tried to calm down but it really wasn’t working. Then you felt these hands wrap around you. They squeezed you tight and you heard him whisper. It sounded like it was really far away. 

“It’s okay I’m here for you.” You heard Jay’s voice soften up. 

He didn’t leave your side and kept your hand on your back trying to soothe you. Finally after a few minutes you started to calm down. 

You looked up at him and didn’t even realise you were crying until you felt the tears on your face. 

You wiped the tears from your face and Jay took his hand and placed it on your face in a conforming manner. 

“I’m here I’m not going anywhere” He said. 

“Thank you” You said in a low soft tone. 

“Why don’t we walk through this together okay me and you” He said 

“ I swear okay I didn’t know about the weapons until like 2  days ago. I found out when I got the letter in the mail saying my background was clear” You said 

“What about the drugs” Jay asked 

You looked at him and nodded and just started crying again. 

He wiped those tears from your face and gave you a smile but his face said it was disappointed. 

“How did we get here” He asked. 

“Things just got bad you know I was struggling and thought if i just ignored it then the problem would go away. “ You said. 

“I get that but I’m here okay you don’t have to do this alone and I can get you some help okay but I also need your help as well.” Jay said. 

“I don’t know you don’t know him like I do” you hesitated. 

“That’s a good thing listen to me this is going to get you free and take a bad guy off the street save lives. This is also going to be a good thing for you a new beginning” Jay said. 

“Yeah yeah” You said 

“Its going to be hard and it’s not going to be easy but you are strong and you are brave and you are going to get through this” Jay said. 

“Okay” You breathed. 

“Tell me everything” Jay said. 

“I know he deals to some white people up North soccer moms and stuff but I don’t know about the weapons” You said. 

“You think he would tell you” Jay said 

“No I don’t think he would but his friends might” You said 

“Okay we will set you up with a wire and get the information that way” Jay said. 

“Yeah sure” You said 

“So that brown hair girl is she your girlfriend” you asked. 

“Yeah she is” Jay said

“Is it serious” You asked 

“Not really i guess we just been hanging out” Jay said. 

“What’s her name” You asked 

“Erin Linsday” Jay said 

“ she seems good for you and You deserve to be happy Jay and if she’s good for you” You said. 

“She’s just not” Jay was saying then the door opened and Erin walked in. 

“We need a statement from her and what’s going on” Erin asked 

“Nothing were just talking” Jay said. 

She looked like she didn’t believe him. She just nodded and walked out. Jay also had a look on his face where it was hard to read what the hell was going on. 

“I’ll be back okay” Jay said 

You nodded and he placed a hand on your shoulder and walked out and shut the door.  You just sat there  and took deep breathes.

You heard from the room there was yelling. 

“jay what the hell are you doing you are leading her this is going to throw this case this is way to personal” The brown hair girl yelled 

“It’s not Erin I told you I am helping her out okay she is not some criminal okay She is my family and she doesn’t deserve to be shoved in some box she earned better than that” Jay said 

You tried not to looka them and gave them their space.

There was a part of you that wasn’t sure if this was even the right move but you know you had to try.  Jay was right people’s lives were in danger and you could risk that. 

It was just hard looking in the mirror and seeing how you got here. Going from being a decorated solider to this a heaping pile of mess. 

The silence  was hard it just made you think about everything which is something you didn’t want to do. 

After what seemed like forever Jay walked back in and he looked at you and smiled. He was holding a small box in his hand. 

“I would say yes but your already seeing someone” You said smiling 

He looked at you and smiled and sat down. 

“Well good to know I have options” He said 

“So what is that thing” You asked 

“ A wire made like a necklace” Jay said. 

‘Yeah so this is real” You said 

“You can say no we will figure it out another way” Jay said 

“No I can handle this” you said looking up and smiling. 

“Hear come here” Jay said 

You both got up and he walked over and you turned to him and pulled your hair up. He put the necklace on you. 

You turned back and smiled at him 

“You ready to roll out” Jay said. 

“Yeah let’s do it I can text Jimmy to meet me down at the bar we hang” You said 

“Okay sounds like a plan I’ll let the team know we gotta get ready so you can hang at my desk while we go gear up” Jay said. 

You both walked out the room and you Jay walked you over to his desk. You sat down looking at the picture you saw earlier. Wondering what the hell had happened to you. 

The rest of his team all kind of scattered not really acknowledging you. Then after a little bit Jay signalled for you to come on. 

You walked out with him and Erin and got back into the same car as before. It was  quiet as no one was saying anything. 

After giving Jay address you all left to headed out. 

“Are you sure he’s gonna even be there” Erin asked

“Yeah I’m sure he practically lives there” You said. 

She didn’t say anything after that but her and Jay glanced looked at each other. 

The car ride was silent and the ride took a little bit to get there. It was just one of those neighbourhood bars. That sat on the corner and if you weren’t a regular you sat out like a sore thumb. 

Jay pulled up and you and Erin looked back at you with a serious look. 

“You got this” Erin asked

“I’m fine okay I was a ranger” You said not liking the tone she asked or maybe you were reading into it. 

You got out and walked over to the door. You stopped and closed your eyes for a minute taking a breath. 

Then walked in and looked around looking for Jimmy.  He was sitting at a table already a few beers in. 

You walked over and sat down in front of him. You grabbed a beer and started drinking and Jimmy looked at you and smiled. 

“Y/N how you doing where’s your man” He asked 

“Busy he sent me to talk about the plan” You said 

Jimmy looked up at you with a look on his face. 

“What plans Y/N” He asked 

“Come on man I know about the arms that’s it But Keith asked me to ask you about the plans he was drunk as hell but you know me” You said .

“Your right” Jimmy said 

“I do know you and you never really cared about this before always kept in the shadows why should I believe you” Jimmy asked 

“Fair point but look okay I got denied my VA benefits the one’s I been fighting for. All that trauma for nothing so now there gonna pay” You said.

“I like that so listen we got the weapons. Okay were planning to hit the Recruitment centres and then we got plans for some government buildings” Jimmy said 

“The guns where are they” You asked 

“Down in the basement at my place” Jimmy said 

“Good it’s a plan” You said 

You both sat and talked for a little bit more. To make it seem like you weren’t just fishing. The hate this man talked about it was disgusting. 

After a little bit you pulled out and headed back to the car. Jay was smiling at you and Erin even looked a little impressed 

“Nice job Y/N I knew you still had balls” Jay said. 

“See i told you i Had it” You said 

“So where to now” You asked 

“Were getting you home we deal with the rest” Jay said 

You just nodded and looked outside the window. It felt like you were getting a small part of you back. 

Finally you made it home and Jay got out and walked you out. You both walked up to your front door. 

Jay smiled at you and you smiled back and you both let out a laugh

“So what now” You asked 

“I told you I’m getting you help. I will be here every step of the way for you. I know the old you will come back and I’m so excited for her to” Jay said 

“Yeah I am to and thank you for everything” You said 

“Of course were family and everything that comes after” Jay 

“And everything that comes after” You said. 

You both pulled into a hug and when Jay let you go he kissed the top of you head. 

“Good night Jay” You said 

“Good Night Y/N” Jay said 

You walked in after that. You threw your stuff down and headed in. You looked around the house and cleaned it. From top to bottom. Then you took a shower and washed it all off. Everything felt like it was a brand new start to the next chapter of your life.