#jay halstead x mouse

[saragarnier]

Away from you

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: y/n doesn’t know where Jay truly is and she got worried

Warning: angst, slightly smut, cheating,

A/N: i will probably write a part 2, stay tuned!

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Next part

You and Jay had been together for three years and everything looked good, at least it was ‘till the end of the march. You didn’t know or understand why he changed his behavior when he was with you, especially since it all happened so quickly and unexpectedly that you just couldn’t understand what happened between you two. From one day, he just started to behave differently, coming home later and telling you that he was just too busy at work, doing some paperwork and getting his things ready for the next shift. He made it looked like he was just trying to impress Voight and for a moment you actually believed him.

You knew how much he wanted to become, one day, sergeant and to be on the lead of his own unit and you just wanted to support him in any ways you could; if he wanted to make a good impression in case of a new sergeant, you wouldn’t have stop him. Actually, it looked like Voight was having some issues lately, from how Jay talked about him after work anyway, and you really trusted him and believed him about his story.

Then, one evening, you decided to go talk with Kim, having some times together and trying to explain to her what you had in mind: Jay’s birthday was closer than you thought and you had to find a good gift for him.

“I need you to help me.” You said to Kim, smiling softly. “Jay’s birthday is in two weeks and i want to surprise him with a two-days holiday. I know that he spends a lot of time at the district doing his paperwork and trying to make a good impression in case of a promotion, but i really need your help. Can you please find a good reason to get him home earlier on Friday’s night?”

Kim was surprised by your statement, not because of the surprise you were preparing for him, but for what you said about him staying at the district till late.

“What do you mean that he spends a lot of time at the district to make a good impression? He always leaves before me, actually he arrives earlier to complete the paperwork he usually leaves at the end of the shift.”

You were confused, you were really confused. What did that mean? If he usually left the district early in the evening, why he came home every night after 11 pm, when you were already sleeping?

“Uhm… he usually doesn’t come home before 11 pm.” You whispered, looking at Kim while your mind raced through all the nights you waited for him to come back home, before falling asleep because of the tiredness of the day at work.

“Y/n, i swear to God that he usually leaves at 7 pm, 8 pm if we’re up to something ‘till late.” Kim said, looking sadly at you, while something you didn’t want to admit passed through her mind.

“But… it doesn’t make sense.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “What does he do between 7 pm and 11 pm then?”

The girl just shook his head, looking ad you sadly and placing her hand on yours, trying to reassure you in some ways. “Maybe it’s not something you have to worry about, maybe it’s just some stuff he had to do or, maybe, it’s just a bad moment for him. I remember he was like this when he suffered from PTSD.”

You nodded, but it didn’t make sense anyway. You remembered when Jay suffered from PTSD because you were always by his side, you were always there for him and you followed him step after step, trying to help him find his way out of it. It couldn’t be PTSD that time, you would have noticed immediately.

He wasn’t distressed like he was when he suffered from it, he was actually really happy and he was usually calm when he came back home.

It could be PTSD, but what was it then?”

“Sorry Kim, i have to go.” You whispered, looking at your phone and finding out it was just 9:30 pm; you had still plenty of time before he could have been home and you wanted to find out what was happening with your boyfriend, actually with your future husband.

“Don’t worry darling, it’s okay.” Kim whispered, smiling at you. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? Maybe you can come at the district one day and we can talk a little? Also Adam and Kevin missed you, you know. With all the preparations of the wedding, we didn’t see you around in a while.”

“Yeah, when i’m not at work at the hospital, i’m around the city trying some white dresses.” You sighed, wearing your jacket and placing some money on the table, paying for your own drink.

“I can imagine that. Don’t worry, really. I hope to see you again soon.” She smiled softly at you.

“I hope that too. Bye Kim, goodnight.”

You left the bar just ten minutes after and you immediately called the one and only that could have tracked Jay’s phone without a word: Mouse.

When he came back from the army, for the second time, you knew that it would have been difficult for him to start a new life again, especially after the first time. Jay helped him and, after some weeks in which he tried to convince him every single day, Mouse accepted to come back at the intelligence as a tech. It wasn’t an easy decision for him and it was strange at first, but he knew he had no better option and working with his friend was something he missed a lot.

He picked up the phone after the second ring.

“Hi! Look who showed up!” He smiled and laughed. “I was actually asking myself when you would have called me to give me the official invite to your wedding, you know? I would have asked Jay, but he i’m pretty sure is not as much involved in the preparations as you are, so…”

“Mouse, i need your favor.” You told him straight away. “I can’t find Jay and I’m worried. Can you please track his phone and tell where he is? And, can you do that without anyone knowing it?”

It was a strange request, especially since it went from you, but Mouse got it immediately and he started to track Jay’s phone straight away. He was actually scared for his friend, he was scared that Jay got into real trouble, maybe with the ptsd or something liked that, but there was no time for questions. He tracked his phone and he gave her the address after only three minutes.

“Thank you, Mouse. Sorry if i interrupted your evening. I have to go now and, don’t worry, I’ll handle the invite in person, okay?” You said, getting inside the car while looking at the address Mouse gave to you. It could be true, why was he there?

“Don’t worry, no problem at all. I’ll leave you now, i guess you’re busy… just, tell me if anything happened to him, okay?” He replied, making sure that everything was okay, making sure that you would have called him in case of trouble.

“I will, thanks Mouse.”

When he hung up, you started the car and you drove to the location he sent you; why the hell was Jay at his old apartment? Didn’t he sell it?

When you arrived at the location, you parked the car and you got out as soon as you could, going up the stairs and reaching his door just few minutes after. Fortunately, you still knew where he used to hide the key and you went for it, opening the door as silently as you could. The first thing you noticed when you entered was the emptiness of the room: there was nothing there other than some furnishings and still you didn’t understand why Jay was there.

Then, you noticed it.

Then, you noticed them: heels and they weren’t yours.

Your mouth became dry and you stopped breathing properly, trying to find an explanation for what you were seeing. You took some steps forward and your eyes fell on the jeans and t-shirts that were on the floor, all the way up to what it was Jay’s bedroom before he moved out. You took the hallway, starting to hear voices, moans you didn’t want to hear, moans you just wanted to be from your neighbors, even if you knew that they were elderly and it couldn’t have been them. Just at the front of the door, you saw them: panties and Jay’s boxer.

Your brain stopped working, you stopped breathing and your heart almost stopped beating; you just couldn’t understand what was happing, you couldn’t believed it.

You zoned out, like you couldn’t have been there, like you were just in a dream, a bad dream, a really bad one, then you came back to reality when you actually saw and hear them.

“Oh, Jay.” She moaned, begging him. “Please, faster.”

Hailey.

Jay’s partner.

“God, Hails…” Your boyfriend moaned, lowering himself on her to kiss her breast while fucking her. “I… shit… you feel so good around me.”

“Oh, J-Jay!” She moaned louder, unaware of your presence on the frame of the door, where you were watching them, without breathing.

Jay took Hailey’s legs and he put it on his own shoulder, increasing the pace.

“Yes, cum around me, baby. Cum for me, i love you.”

Surprisingly. It wasn’t watching him fucking her that destroyed you: it was his last three words, the same three words he said to you every morning before going to work, the same three words he said to you on the phone when he was to busy at work to come home, even if he was actually heading to his old apartment, when he was able to fuck his partner whenever he wanted to.

You stepped back silently, to broken to face the truth, to heart broken to face him.

You stepped back and you left without saying a word, without make noise; you went back inside your car and only then, when Hailey’s and Jay’s moans were far away from you, you started breathing again.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks from minutes probably, but you couldn’t notice it before and you were to shocked to dry off your tears: you just wanted to add as many distance as you could between you and the man you thought was the love of your life.

You didn’t even went back to your apartment, you couldn’t have handle being again in the house that would have been yours,the house in which you hoped you would have started a family with Jay. You didn’t go back to your apartment to collect all your belongings, you just left.

You left a message to your boss’ office regarding your resignation and you drove away.

Away from Jay.

Away from your apartment.

Away from the life you dreamed of with him.

Away from the love.

Away from the pain.

Away from Chicago.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz (ft platonic!Jay Halstead): Not The Pizza Guy 

You swung the door open money in hand and paused at the man in front of you. “You're not the pizza guy.” He was leaning on the doorframe, his jacket damp from the night rain. His face, which had been furrowed in worry, was now caught between shock and disbelief. Your eyes fall to the badge clipped on his hip. You had thought that knock was a little loud and on the cop side. A smile comes to your lips, “You must be Jay,” 

“Yeah, I must be.” He agreed. You nodded at him and gestured into the apartment.  

“Did you want to come in? Greg is just in the shower.” It is strange for Jay to hear Mouse’s legal name. It’s even stranger to see you standing in front of him, all smiles, dressed in one of Mouse’s Star Wars sweatshirts and little else. You don’t wait for him to answer as you head back in. Jay hesitated before following you in and closing the door behind him. The living room was empty. Jay barely sees your ponytail rounding the corner as you call out Mouse’s name.  

Jay feels out of sorts. He had come over because he had been worried about his friend. It seemed like Mouse was falling back into old bad habits. He was blowing off team outings, constantly distracted by his phone, and had seemingly been in his own world. Jay's first and only thought had been that his friend was struggling with PTSD. He had feared that Mouse may have been slipping back into his former drug use. He had come intent on doing an intervention if need be. He had been planning what he would say, the options he had found, and even prepared to move Mouse in with him if he needed the extra support.  

Now he wasn’t sure how to respond. 

Mouse rounds the corner in sweats, toweling off his hair. He had clearly been alerted to Jay’s arrival. He had the grace to look guilty. “Hey buddy,” You walked back in now sporting a pair of black leggings under Mouse’s hoodie. There is a moment of quiet before another knock sounds at the door again. 

“Now that’s got to be the pizza.” You turn on your heel walking between the boys to head for the door.  

“Baby, for the sake of my peace of mind, please check who it is before you open the door this time. This is Chicago, not your small town.” You look back at your boyfriend smiling contritely. 

“Yeah, right, sorry.” They watched you head to the door. There is a brief pause and then, “You're not a murderer, right? You’re just the pizza guy?” Mouse rubs his hands over his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose.  

“Her lack of self-preservation is going to take years off my life.”  

Before Jay can ask Mouse anything, you come back into the room with the pizza and a stack of paper plates. You give one to Mouse and then offer another to Jay. Soon you are all sitting in the living room eating pizza and the ball game is on the TV. Jay can’t focus on it and instead spends his time analyzing you and his old war buddy. Jay watches as Mouse throws his arm across the back of the couch and you lean into his side. You place a napkin on his leg, and he smiles down at you. There is a lightness in his friend, a warmth, a happiness that Jay hasn’t seen in a long time. He feels ridiculous for being so off base with how his friend was doing. 

And so fucking grateful he was wrong. 

Jay lingered after everyone had finished the food. You offer to make a pot of coffee and the boys accept. Mouse watches as you disappear into the kitchen. “She seems like a nice girl.” Mouse’s lips form an unconscious smile. 

“She is.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell me man? I was worried about you.” Mouse rubs the back of his neck scratching gently. He lifts his eyes from where they had been trained on the floor. 

“I know, I’m sorry. It was selfish but I just wanted to keep her to myself for a while. She’s so innocent. Untouched by the dark side of humanity.” Jay can see the struggle in Mouse’s eyes. The self-doubt and question of if he was worthy of something good.

Someone good.

Jay had seen it many times looking back at him in the mirror. “Her parents are still together, from a small town- never even locked her front door before she moved to Chicago- can you believe that? And she just-” Mouse threw his hands up as if he was trying to get a grasp on his own good fortune, “She walked into a cafe and right into my life. Just like that. Just like that man. I can’t even believe it. She's not anything like what I would have picked for myself.” Mouse chuckles, “She is so technologically challenged, it’s insane. I thought you guys at the precinct were bad, but it is nothing compared to her. And I can’t help but find it strangely adorable.” 

Jay put a hand on Mouse’s shoulder, squeezing it. “I’m happy for you buddy, really, I am. You deserve it. But you can’t hide her away forever. And everybody is going to want to meet her.” 

“I know.”

You come in holding a cup of coffee in each hand and creamer, and sugar tucked under your arm. You offer the cups to both men. “I didn’t know how you took your coffee.” You say in explanation and Jay looks amused as he takes the sugar from your arm and pours some into his cup. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Mouse takes a drink of his already doctored-up coffee. He meets eyes with Jay before taking a deep breath. “Hey, the intelligence team is getting together at Molly’s tomorrow night...Do you want to go? Meet everyone.” You smile brightly pressing a kiss to Mouse's cheek. 

“I’d love to meet your family.”              

[unknowntoyou2205]

Fear turns into confession (2/4)

Info: Y/n joins intelligence on a case, leaving Jay distracted from his job.

Requested by @maybankangel

Series masterlist

Two weeks had passed since y/n had returned from the army. Jay and her had become close, spending many evenings hanging out, with Mouse joining them sometimes. Erin still felt bitter about y/n and her bitterness had only grown with how much time her boyfriend was spending with the returned soldier. It didn't help that everyone in intelligence had grown to like her, leading to her often hanging out in the district. It wasn't unusual for y/n to turn up with lunch for the team, but Erin refused to like the girl. And y/n didn't seem that bothered by Erin's noticeable attitude towards her, instead opting to be the bigger person, opting to treat the woman her friend loved as a friend. The two didn't seem to be making any progress of becoming friends, but y/n accepted that, choosing to get along with Erin for the sake of Jay, and she hoped Erin felt the same way.

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Jay leaned against his desk as he talked to Erin, awaiting for the new case Voight was about to announce to them. There was word about kidnappings of women, where they were never found after they were taken. Six women were currently taken, and Voight was about to announce the plan of action. The team was blind as opposed to what it was, but they knew whatever it was they had to act fast, before things got out of hand.

The room went silent as Voight walked out of his office towards the middle of the room with pictures in his hands. Attaching them onto the board in front of him, he turned to face his team, and began to explain what was happening.

"Alright, here are the six women who have been taken in the past two weeks, each of them were seen in the local night club and that was their last sighting, meaning that the kidnapper is likely to be targeting that area. The victims were last seen getting into a taxi but they aren't traceable. Each plate comes up as legit taxi drivers, and when asked they say they weren't working the night the women were taken nd that they didn't even know there car was taken as it's in the same place as they had left it." Voight explained. "This guy is smart. He either managed to get the keys of these cars, take them and than return them when he's finished so as not to be caught quicker, or the cars are left unlocked and he wires it to turn on before leaving it as it was." Erin commented. "Well it worked, no one would know what happened apart from families becoming worried for their daughters." Kevin stated. "As you can see each girl here is in their 20's, has short h/c hair and e/c eyes meaning he has a type. So we need to catch him out before the next kidnapping." Voight stating, looking around as he finished explaining. "He seems to pick busy hours, when there are crowds around, hoping not to attract attention on him. College is out which means events are rolling in." Burgess stated. "When's the next event?" Jay asked. "Tonight there is karaoke night. He's bound to be there." Mouse spoke up, looking up from his computer. "Than we go there tonight. Hope to catch this son of a bastard." Voight spoke before The buzzer buzzed and the gate was heard opening.

Everyone's attention turned to the stairs as footsteps were heard, and each smiled slightly when they seen the woman walking up them. Y/n smiled softly as she held up a takeaway bag, having decided to bring Chinese for intelligence when Voight had asked her to come. She knew briefly of the case and knew that it would likely be a late one, so decided to bring some dinner for them when Voight had contacted her.

"Hey Y/n, what you doing here?" Adam asked, stretching over his desk so he could see her better. "Voight called, decided to bring dinner for everyone, sounds like a late night." Y/n replied, allowing Kevin to take the bags from her before moving to sit on Jay's chair, the owner of said chair craning around to smile at her in greeting.

Erin watched the two, unimpressed. She narrowed her eyes as Jay moved away from her side and behind his desk to hug y/n, y/n happily standing up to accept the hug. Wanting to drag her boyfriends attention away from the soldier, she started questioning Hank on their plans.

"So how are we going to catch him in the act? Neither me or Kim fit the description of the girls he's targeting." Erin asked, causing y/n to glance at Voight. "But y/n does." Voight pointed at said girl, causing everyone's attention to turn to her. "You can't be serious." Jay spoke out quickly, angered by the thought of his friend becoming a target. "Y/n fits what our guy is going for, she looks like a college student..." "Not sure how I feel about that comment." y/n spoke softly causing Kevin and Mouse to hid a grin. "She's a perfect match." Voight finished, gesturing to y/n. "I don't agree with this." Jay commented. "Jay stop, I've done more dangerous things than this." Y/n spoke firmly, "Besides I've already agreed." "You what?" Jay eyed her in frustration. "Jay, stop, she'll be fine. She's done more dangerous things than this." Erin stated, frowning at Jay for the way he was acting.

Jay only watched as y/n moved to Voight, allowing him to explain more in depth of what she was to do. He watched as she nodded along with his boss before they walked to Mouse where Hank told him to get y/n wired up.

"Jay, what you so worried about, she's fought worse." Adam spoke as he and Kim walked up to Jay and Erin. "She's on leave with an injury, and she's my friend, of course I'm worried." Jay explained as if it was the most obvious thing. "We'll be outside ready to interfere as needed. Once he goes for you let him take you, we'll be ready and waiting outside." Hank finished saying to y/n as Mouse helped wire her up. "How do we know if this is going to work?" Jay asked aloud. "We don't, but we have to try." Y/n stated, her brain going into autopilot.

---------------------------

Like previous missions and tasks, y/n was nervous, but she knew that the reason or doing this was to help save other girls and to prevent it from happening again. Her mind was on neutral, and she eyes a gentleman across the bar from her as she swirled her drink. He had been watching her all night, and y/n was sure that this man was the one Intelligence was looking for. Catching his eye, y/n smiled slyly before turning to talk to the barman in front of her.

“Could I get another please?” She asked, before downing the last of her drink. “I’ll get this.” The guy from across the bar suddenly appeared beside her. “That’s very kind of you.” Y/n smiled, batting her eyelashes a little. “It’s the least I can do for a pretty girl like yourself.” The guy spoke, causing y/n to look down as she blushed.

Outside in a van, Jay could only scowl as he heard the conversation between y/n and the guy. Erin sat beside him, and rolled her eyes at the look on her boyfriends face. He had done nothing but watch y/n before she went in, fussing over her and asking her repeatedly to change her mind. Halstead was worried about the girl, and that didn’t sit right with Erin.

“What do you say we head out of here, maybe someplace quiet.” The guy was heard over the ear piece, and the team sat up straight. “Y/n, go with him, but act surprised.” Voight coached the girl over the speaker, and Jay glared at his boss. “We just met, and you want me to leave with you.” Y/n feigned shock, turning her vision away from the guy in front of her. “Come on, you can trust me.” The guy laughed lightly, trying to encourage her. “I just don’t know if I should.” Y/n said unsure, trying to egg the guy on as he laughed before moving closer to her. “I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it.” The guy threatened, leaning towards y/n so only she could hear. Y/n gasped, showing fear. “Come with me willingly and I won’t hurt you. Struggle, and it will end badly for you.” The guy spoke. “Ok.” Y/n gulped, voice shaking.

“We got him.” Voight stated, smirking at the guys confession. “Than let’s go.” Jay spoke, not liking the idea of someone’s hands being on his friends. “Jay, wait.” Erin spoke. “We take this easy or it could all go wrong.” She stated. “Kevin & Burgess, take the left, Erin & Adam go right, Halstead, your with me.” Voight commanded to his team as they got ready to move out.

Y/n got off her stool and allowed the guy in front to take her arm as they exited the night club. Shivering under the cold air hitting her skin, y/n looked to the left as cars were heard skidding in the distance. The guys grip hardened more as he seen Intelligence step out of their cars.

“Shit cops.” He cursed. “Chicago PD, let her go.” Voight shouted. “Keep moving, don’t stop.” The guy commanded, pushing the barrel of his gun into y/n’s back.

Y/n tripped over her feet as the guy forced her to move. Her back arched as she felt the barrel. Knowing this could turn nasty, she choose to follow the guys commands. This was part of the plan but that didn’t mean the guy could turn.

Jay took off after y/n, not listening as Hank shouted at him to get in. He choose to keep running, and turned the corner he say y/n go, his mind only on y/n. He heard the cars rushing behind him, but his mouth tightened as she seen y/n being forced into a car.

“Chicago PD, stop a*****e.” Jay shouted, causing y/n to look back at him. “Help, help.” Y/n shouted, playing the act till she was pushed into the car, her head hitting the door, knocking her unconscious.

The guy fired at Jay, causing him to duck down, taking out his own gun to fire back. Another shot was heard from the passengers side of the car, diverting Jays attention as the guy got into the car. Hearing the car engine, Jay cursed and started shooting at the car, before dropping down as a bullet nicked his arm. He turned to look over his shoulder as he heard cars stopping behind him

“Jay, are you okay.” Erin shouted out, running to her boyfriend as the car in front of them drove off. “I’m fine.” Jay brushed Erin away from him, standing up to watch as the car turned a corner. “This was part of the plan.” Burgess nodded her head, trying to convince herself and Jay that all would be okay. “Yeah, yeah, sure.” Jay sighed, allowing Erin to look at his wound. “Let’s head back to intelligence, see what mouse has heard.” Voight spoke up. “Come on, let’s get you to med.” Erin stated, holding Jays arm as he got off the ground.

Jay just nodded, his mind on y/n.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds Masterlist-Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, Jay Halstead x Reader

Back to You Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3- Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader

Mine Pt.1 Pt.2- Kelly Severide x Reader

Second Chance - Kelly Severide x Reader

Jealous - Kevin Atwater x Reader

Carry Me- Kevin Atwater x Reader

Best Friend Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3- Kevin Atwater x Reader

Dad's day- Dad! Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Mom! Reader

Close Enough to Perfect- Dad! Kevin Atwater x Mom! Reader

Them Losing You- headcanon for Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, Hailey Upton x Reader & Kevin Atwater x Reader

New Start- Antonio Dawson x Reader

Can't Love you Back- Kelly Severide x Reader

Confessions- Kelly Severide x Reader

Just Protective- Jay Halstead x Reader

That Damn Chain - Jay Halstead x Reader

Patience- Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader

Be Mine- Jay Halstead x Reader

What I Want - Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader

Real Man- Jay Halstead x Reader

First Christmas- Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, Jay Halstead x Reader, Kevin Atwater x Reader, Kelly Severide x Reader, Antonio Dawson x Reader, Adam Ruzek x Reader

[witchygagirl]

Supernatural Fics

The Walking Dead, The Boys, Marvel & DCEU

AO3

Chicago PD/Chicago Fire

♡♡♡

[stefanmikaleson1864]

Every Version Of You

Jay Halstead X Reader 

Requested by anon 

When jays best friend who he always loved even before the rangers gets honorably discharged from the rangers and comes working beside him and mouse at the district he realizes how innocent romantically she is and why she wouldn’t ever be with someone while they were serving because that meant comments being made an he finds out she’s always been in love with him like he has been with her and turns to putty when she looks up At him after a case

A/N: I hope you like this ! I am so sorry that It’s taken a while to write it but I am working through my request. 

If you like my work please comment like and reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work. 

Jay’s POV. 

Me and and Y/N have been best friends our entire lives. We went to the same school together and we really always kept to the side

.we never really had any other friends so it was always just us. Where one was the other one was as well. We also happened to live on the same block as each other. 

When things got rough at home we always had a spot where we would meet up together.

 A park down a couple blocks from each other. It was pretty run down and gross so no one ever went there which was good for us. 

It was our place and our safe haven. It’s where we could spend hours talking to each other or really say nothing at all.

 All i knew was when ever I was there with her I always felt safe. That everything was going to be okay. 

During one of our long talks there we talked about the future and what we wanted out of life. We both wanted. 

 We wanted to join the army and get out of town and serve a high purpose in life. 

To be able to help people in need to look back and know we made a difference. Not to mention when we left we would have hella benefits to set us up. It would mean we didn’t have to come back here. 

We would be able to start fresh out there and create a new life.

When we finally made it out of high school we graduated and right away we enlisted.

 We went to boot camp about a month later. Y/N was excited but I had more worried about her than myself. 

I know it’s what we wanted but  now that we were there I couldn’t help but feel scared.

 What if something happened to her. The thought of loosing her tore me up inside. I couldn’t loose someone else. 

Boot camp was rough. Both physically and mentally it was the hardest thing I had ever done. Y/n was feeling it to. But there were some good things that came along with it. 

We meant a lot of new people and became friends with them. Were really building our community.

 One person who really stuck with us was this quiet guy named Greg.We gave him the nick name mouse and he hated it but we didn’t care. 

The three of us were a trio and were always together. Mouse was the first person to call me out on my feelings for Y/N. I didn’t even realize it at first. 

That I was in love with her. He just flat out asked me one day because he was going to and I told  him no she was completely off limits. 

I never really thought about it before like that. Being in love with her because there is a different type of feelings that come along with that. 

But once I realized it I felt so different but a good different. 

Our time in the Military had come and gone and I was the first one to leave. My deployment ended first then Mouse.

 After 3 tours we finally decided we were done and hung up our hats. 

Y/N was right behind us after her 4th Y/n decided it was time to hang up the hat as well. When she came home I was able to get her a civilian job with us. She wasn’t ready to go out in the field. 

The trauma of war really did a number on her and she needed to be able to work a more stable position.

 She worked as a investigator for us. She really liked and she was such a huge part of the team. 

Right now we were all gathered around in the pen working on our next case. We had multiple murders out on the west side and we were worried about more violence coming out. 

We had exhausted all of our options and were left with really nothing. Expect one choice which was Mouse.

 He was selling bootleg cd’s and stolen goods. He also had a hard time adjusting and couldn’t hold down a proper job. 

“Come on we need something before there is more bloodshed out there” Hank said in a upset voice” 

“I think I may have something” I said sitting up 

Everyone looked at me with a confused look on their face. 

“Mouse he lived there his whole life I know him he knows something” I said 

“I don’t know if he would be the best help in his situation” Y/N said with a worried look on her face. 

“Why what happened” Kim asked. 

“He just had a hard time after we came home he never really adjusted” Y/N said. 

“I Know but I think he can handle this” I said

“Look if he’s un hinge it could do more damage than good” Kevin said 

“Look i trust him and I’ll watch out for him what ever happens is on me But I do think this is our best choice” I said 

“Let’s do it” Voight said 

Y/N looked at me a concerned voice so i reached over and gave it a comforting squeeze. 

I didn’t bother to tell him I was showing up because I know him and he would have ran off. I went alone incase he got scared and ran off. 

I made my way to him and like usual he wasn’t really even hiding what he was doing out that giant white van. I made my way over and banged on the back of the van. 

“Hey Mouse open up” I yelled. 

Slowly the door opened up and Mouse stuck his head and peaked around the door.. He looked scared like he was caught which I mean he was technically. 

“Hey Uh Jay what are you doing here” He asked in a worried voice. 

“Relax man I need a favor with something” I said laughing. 

‘Don’t say that out loud man what the hell is wrong with you” Mouse said. 

He grabbed my arm and drug me into the back of his van which is very alarming to most people. 

We got in and it was nothing but stolen goods and food wrappers. And my god that weed smel was horrible. 

We sat down in the two empty seats that was barely there. Mouse had to throw stuff around just for us to be able to sleep. 

“So man hey what’s going on” Mouse asked bouncing around. 

“Look man you gotta chill out you good” I asked placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah Man I’m good what’s up” He said. 

“I need your help with a case I know you know about these murders happening” I said 

“Yeah But what’s that got to do with me” Mouse asked. 

“Look I need to see if you can figure anything out I know you know everyone here okay you can figure something out” I said 

“Yeah but If people figure out I’m helping you I can’t risk my business man” Mouse said.

“Man forget your business we got dead body okay innocent people are dying” I said. 

“Okay alright I guess I can think about it” Mouse said 

“Shut the hell up and let’s go and behave when we get there Y/N is already worried about you working this and I don’t want to worry her more or prove her right” I said. 

“Yeah yeah Y/N i heard she was working with you how is she doing if you know what I mean” Mouse said 

I looked at him with a confused and even a slightly annoyed face because he already knew what the situation was he was just instigating the issue.

“Y/n is fine and we work together and we are friends that’s it for that situation” I said 

“You know what I mean” Mouse said shoving his elbow in my arm and laughing. 

“Let’s go now” I said annoyed at him already. 

I got out of the van and headed back into my own car. Mouse was following right behind me and we left headed for the district. 

He was non stop talking the whole way and I tried my best to act like I was paying attention. 

The only thing i was thinking was Y/n probably was going to be right that he wasn’t ready for something like this and I was pushing it. 

If he blew up and this case blew up it means we loose our only chance to get a killer of the street and it means I loose my word that I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. 

The car ride back felt long but I knew it wasn’t and I was nervous about him meeting the team and seeing Y/N again. I didn’t want him to blurt out some dumb stuff. 

When we got there we made our way in and I read him the riot act and pleaded with him to act like he had some kind of commonsense. 

“Hey man I got this stop worrying when have I ever done something dumb” Mouse said 

“We don’t have the time to run through that list” I said getting more mad. 

We made our way back into the bullpen and everyone was sitting at their desk looking at their computer. 

When we walked in they stopped what they were doing and looked up at us.  Y/N looked happy to see him but also had worry all over her eyes. It was subtle but I knew her for so long that I could read her. 

“Y/N my girl I missed you how you been baby” Mouse said loudly. 

“I’m good I missed you too” Y/N said smiling and walked over and hugged him. 

“ Hey everyone It’s nice to meet you all I promise to be on my best behavior” Mouse said 

Voight walked out and walked over to where Mouse was. 

“Listen I appreciate the help but if you fuck this up for us” Voight said 

“No sir I am here to help in anyway I can” Mouse said.

I think it was the first time he actually stiffened up and seemed kind of nervous. 

“Good so let’s get started then we don’t want to waste any time” Voight said. 

“We got 4 dead on our hand we think we have a prime suspect John Roberts he hussles out the west side but we can’t prove anything” Y/N said 

“What makes you think him” Mouse asked 

“All 4 people who were killed their phones pinged out his night club , we know he is a known seller and has a violent streak” Y/N said 

“So we need you to make a bid to be a seller for him and get him talking on a wire” Voight said. 

“Um yeah I know this guy he’s dangerous and ruthless he’s just not going to open up to me” Mouse said. 

“Look we know you got a rep in that area okay so you asking for this isn’t going to raise red flags” Jay said 

“Fine but no way am I going alone” Mouse said 

“Me and Jay can go were pose as customers in the club you know we got you” Y/N said 

“Y/N you haven’t been out in the field.” I said worried about her

“I’ll be fine don’t worry about me i can handle myself” Y/N said a little defensive. 

“Listen she says she’s fine I trust her it sounds like a good plan get it done” Voight said. 

I didn’t say anything and we all went back to our desk to get everything ready for tonight. After a couple of hours we were putting the final touches on the plan. 

Y/N went home and changed into something a little more appropriate for a club so no red flags would get raised. 

I was currently helping to bug mouse and I could tell he was nervous but he wouldn’t say anything. 

“Listen your good me and Y/N we got you like we always have before” I told him. 

“Yeah yeah your right” Mouse said. 

We finished up and headed out. Y/N was meeting us there. The car ride over was silent and we both had jitters. 

When we arrived there Y/N was sitting outside and she had on this purple sparkly dress. She was all dressed up. She really looked beautiful. 

I gave Mouse a squeeze on the shoulder and we headed out. 

“Hey come on it’s going to be okay” I said 

Mouse nodded and we walked over to Y/n.She looked up at us and smiled. 

“You go in and were head in a little bit after so we don’t look like were together you got this Greg It’s going to be okay” Y/N said 

“Yeah Thanks” Mouse said. 

He went and in we stayed behind and I looked over at Y/N and I could tell she was nervous to. 

“Hey there is no shame about being nervous It’s been a while sense you been out in the field but you got this I got you” I said 

“I know I’m okay I’m good really Let’s go inside i’m freezing” she said looking up at me and smiling. 

We walked in and grabbed a drink from the bar and headed to a table we where we could see mouse without being to noticed. 

“So how’s things been with you” Y/N asked 

“What do you mean” I asked

“I mean you haven’t been dating anyone sense Erin and we haven’t been able to talk in a while what’s going on” She asked. 

“Not much haven’t been in the mood to date sense she left” I said 

“Come on handsome guy like you it’s impossible to stay single for long” She said smiling. 

“I think I have someone in my mind but it would never go anywhere so i’m working on getting past that” I said honestly 

“Who do I know her” She asked 

“Uh yeah but don’t worry about it” I said 

“Okay fine sure be secretive or what ever” Y/n said taking a drink. 

“How we looking up there” I asked the team out there. 

‘Good mouse is being talkative but John has no clue were on to him. This might actually work” Kevin said. 

“It’s Mouse he always has a way with words” I said laughing. 

“Hey at least he talks to people” Y/N said 

“Damn Jay what did you do to her” Adam asked 

The conversation fell flat after that and I felt bad because I didn’t want to think I was pushing her out. 

Mouse was up there a while and he was doing okay so hopefully it was a sign we got everything we needed. 

After a little bit he headed down and we watched him leave. We again waited a few minutes before we also left. 

When we went outside Mouse was sitting in the back seat of the car and we walked over and got in. 

“Hey how did it go” I asked 

“Good I am now a seller a little bit see how it goes but we got our way in” Mouse said 

“OMG I told you that you could do this , we got a way in” Y/N said 

“Thanks Now let’s get the hell out of here” Mouse said 

“Alright let’s call it a night and we all meet in the morning” Voight said.

Mouse was a little quiet and I could tell he was nervous about this. But I knew it was all going to be worth it once we catched this son of a bitch. 

We drove off and I dropped Mouse off at his apartment. Me and Y/n left and it was quiet in the car after. 

I drove to her place and I parked the car and we both just sat there for a second before sitting in silence. 

She didn’t get out right away and I didn’t know what was wrong but I decided to break the silence. 

“Hey I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to ice you out or anything” I said 

She looked over at me and smiled. 

“It’s okay I just wanted to make sure everything was okay” She said. 

“Listen I need to be honest because if I can’t be honest with you then nothing else matters” I said. 

I could feel the anxiety building up inside of me and I needed to say it to her. Don’t ask me why now seemed like a good time.

 I guess after icing her out earlier maybe I thought I should tell her. 

“Hey so this girl I like I need to get over and move on from it’s you. I love you Y/n I have for a while and I haven’t been able to say because I know you feel about dating and being deployed so i didn’t say anything” I said.

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or change anything and I was scared” I said

“I uh” she said 

I could feel the anxiety bubbling up inside of me and I was worried that I just ruined my only good thing I had going on. 

She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze and she looked over and smiled at me. 

“I love you I really do and not just in a friendship type of way like romantic. But i’m scared because you are the only good thing I have but I have a lot going on mentally and I need time you know” She said 

“I want to keep working on being the most best version of myself but I do want this so if we could work slow and build up” Y/N said. 

I squeezed her hand back and looked over at her and smiled. I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. 

“I love every version of you but I want you to be the best version you can possibly be and I will be here for you on the other side when ever your ready I am here so take as long as you need” I said 

“ I love you Jay Halstead and I can’t Imagine what I would do without you” She said 

“Well you never have to know” I said. 

“How about you come up and we watch the hockey game and beers” Y/N said 

“I would live that let’s go” I said. 

We got up and headed in. We watched the game and laid out on the couch together and nights like these are worth everything.

[toppersjeep]

Chapter 12- I Miss You

The One -[Jay Halstead X Matt Casey]

link to master list with previous chapters

Elle’s POV

“So have you spoken to Jay” Stella asked. “Why would I” I said. “I mean maybe he’s sorry” Stella said. “Elena we have a call at the police headquarters ” Kelly said. “The police headquarters” I asked. “Yeah something about a bomb threat they need our expertise” Kelly said. “Alright” I said. “We can take my car” Kelly said.

“So just us” I said. “Yeah we are the only two who actually took the courses” Kelly said. “This should be fun” I said. We drove to the police headquarters and then went up to some meeting room. As soon as we turned the corner I saw my Dad. So I knew Jay would be there too. “Great” I said.

“Look put whatever you have aside okay we aren’t doing drama” Kelly said. “Copy that” I said. We walked in through the doors. “Ah there they are some of the city’s finest firefighters” Dad said. “Nice to meet you” the director said. “This is my daughter Elena Voight and her boss Kelly Severide” Dad said.

“Your daughter wow she grew up” the man said. “That she did” he said I smiled. “So what do you need our help with” Kelly asked. “Well we found a bomb earlier today and we think they are planning more attacks” he said.

“We do know what they already did one earlier today at a festival” Jay added. “Was anyone else hurt” I said looking at my dad. “We do have a missing police officer” Kim said. “He was working detail with Kim and disappeared” Adam said. “Maybe he’s a part of this” I said.

“No I know him he’d never do this” Kim said. “Sometimes people aren’t as them seem” I said looking at Jay. “So why do you need us” Kelly said. “Your experts in this stuff tell us what’s in it and how it was made” the director added. “Maybe we can figure out how to stop the next one” he said.

“Well one of them can work on it we do need backup” Adam said. “I’ll stay Elena” Kelly said. “Kelly” I said. “No you’ve got a better handle on the police thing so” Kelly said. “Elena go with Halstead” Dad said. “Dad” I said. “No complaints go” Dad said.

We then walked downstairs to the parking garage. Of course I had to be stuck with him.

“Come on”Jay said. “For the record I hate this idea” I said walking in front of him. “Elena I’ve told you I’m sorry multiple times” Jay said. “I don’t wanna hear this” I said getting into the passenger seat of his car.

(Crystal Reed as Elena Voight)

“You know your one of the most stubborn people I know” Jay said. “Just drive Jay” I said. “I’m just saying you are” he said stopping at a red light. “God why do I get roped into these things” I said. “Elle did you ever stop and think it’s because your good at what you do” Jay said.

“Jay” I said softly. “You are Elena you made Squad despite everyone at the academy telling you aren’t good enough” Jay said stopping the car. “Your an amazing firefighter Elena you’ve saved so many lives” Jay said putting a hand on mine.

“Yeah and what about the ones I didn’t Jay how do you cope with that” I said. “Think about the people you will save and the lives you’ll change” he said. I teared up. “I just” I said he hugged me tightly. “I know” Jay said. “Hey Halstead we got something” Adam said over the radio.

“Yeah what do you got” Jay said back. “We found the guy Atwater is bringing him in” Adam said. “Copy that” Jay said. “Sorry” I said. “No don’t apologize Elle just know I’m here for you” Jay said. “I appreciate that” I said he smiled.

“Want me to drop you back off at the firehouse” Jay asked. “Yeah that’s fine” I said. We drove back to the firehouse. He parked off to the side in the driveway. “Maybe we can talk later about everything tonight” Jay said. “Ummm.. yeah I’d like that” I said. “So I’ll see you tonight” Jay said. “I’ll see you” I said getting out. I watched as he drove off.

I then walked into the firehouse to see Matt talking to Otis.

“Hey how’d it go” Matt said. “Good I think” I said. “Well you were the right person for it” Matt said. “I’ll go over there I can feel the weirdness” Otis said walking over to the Squad table.

“He’s right there is a weirdness” I said. “Well we did kiss so” Matt said. “Yeah I know but” I said. “There’s always a but” Matt said. “I can’t do that Matt I wouldn’t to Gabby” I said. “And you still love him” Matt said. “I just” I said sighing. “No it’s alright you don’t have to explain yourself” Matt said.

“Well I gotta go take care of some stuff” I said. “Yeah so I’ll see you tonight at Mollys” Matt asked. “Rain check I got somewhere to be” I said. “Holding you to it Voight” Matt said.

Later…

Before I went to see Jay I stopped by the cemetery to see Jimmy. It had been almost seven months since he passed away. So I had brought flowers. Even though it had just began to snow. I knew I had to see him.

I got out of my car and walked over to his grave. They buried him beside his older brother.

“I don’t know how these things work” I said setting the flowers down on his headstone. “But I do know that I forgive you for everything” I said. “And I’ve been trying to forgive myself and it’s hard” I said tearing up. “Everyday I wonder if there was more I could’ve done to protect you” I said.

“You were one of my closest friends and I let you go down this path” I said wiping my tear. “I know I should’ve done more and I’m sorry” I said putting a hand on the headstone. “If your out there somewhere I hope your happier just know I miss you” I said softly. “And that the firehouse isn’t the same without you” I said.

“I really am sorry for being a shitty friend” I said. “Well I should be going but say hi to Justin for me” I said. I then drove away and drove to Jays. I walked up to his apartment and knocked on the door.

“Hey Elena thought we were meeting at Mollys” Jay said. “No I just wanted to stay in if that’s okay” I said. “Sure yeah” he said I walked into his apartment. “Before we talk or say anything I need to tell you something” I said he shut the door.

“What’s up” he said sitting on his couch. “Matt kissed me the other night” I said. “As in Matt Casey” he asked. “Yeah and I don’t feel anything for him I guess seeing you today made me realize” I said. “I’m telling you because I want this to work ,I want us to trust each other” I said.

“I do trust you Elle” he said cupping my cheek. “You know I love you right” I said. “I know” he said. “And Elena… I love you” Jay said. “Yeah” I said. “Yeah I do” he said I kissed him. “So movie night and pizza” Jay said.

“I’m so down for that” I said. “Good and wings I guess because you love them” he said I smiled. “You know me so well” I said.

[crazybagelbitch]

In honor of a conversation between @libraryofloveletters and I: have a dumb teeny tiny Moustead drabble!

“Really, this is nothing,” Jay says, waving his good arm dismissively, “just a through and through to the shoulder. Much better than the last time I was shot.”

“I swear to God,” Mouse mumbles under his breath, before pressing down hard on Jay’s bleeding shoulder and raising his voice, “sorry, I know it really hurts. Just keeping you alive and all. Don’t you dare die on me.”

“Psh, this isn’t even life threatening.”

“ALL gunshot wounds are life threatening,” Mouse all but growls, taking a deep breath, “I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but considering you’re the one bleeding on the ground, I think it should be the other way around. The ambulance will be here soon; it’s all going to be alright, I promise.”

“Baby, for real, this is nothing. Some of my non-gunshot injuries have been worse than this.”

Mouse takes another deep breath, trying not to lose it. There is nothing remotely okay or chill or relaxed about his boyfriend being shot in front of him, and yet, said boyfriend seems to be feeling all three.

I will not yell at Jay while he is shot, I will not yell at Jay while he is short. Those can’t be the last words I—

“Baby, I’m not dying,” Jay has the audacity to say with a LAUGH, reading Mouse’s mind, “I’ve had so much worse than this, you know that. Besides, when I finally go down, I’m not going to let it be because of some drunk redneck with a gun.”

“You’re not being funny. You were just shot and the ambulance isn’t here yet and you could— you could— you don’t KNOW that everything is going to be fine. Stop being an asshole and let me worry about you.”

“I mean, I guess I can’t stop you.”

“You are insane. You are literally insane. You were shot and you’re acting like it’s just another Tuesday. I love you so much, but I’m never going to forgive you for this.”

“Mousey, Honey, Baby… this is— I’m a Halstead. It’ll be okay.”

“Maybe, but it isn’t okay right NOW.”

“…That’s fair,” Jay concedes, mostly just to keep Mouse from having a stroke, “but one day we’ll laugh about this, yeah? Okay— don’t make that face. Message received. Maybe we won’t laugh about it, but it’ll be… baby, it’s… worse things have happened.”

“I don’t know about that,” Mouse sighs, relaxing just the slightest bit now that he can hear sirens, “I really need to keep you in full armor at all times, don’t I? You can’t keep doing this to me, lovey.”

“If it makes you feel better, Will is gonna flip out, too.”

“That’s the normal, proper human reaction, Jay.”

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Antonio Dawson

Jay Halstead

Jay Halstead & Kim Burgess

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz

[unknowntoyou2205]

Scared for her life (3/4)

Info: Jay can't help but worry for the girl he used to work with

Requested by @maybankangel-blog

Series Masterlist

Y/n blinked as she came round from the hit on the head. She blinked a few times as she rubbed her head before sitting up and opening her eyes. She looked out the window to see if she could see anything, but they were long out of the city, and were now on back roads. Instead, she turned her vision in front to see two figures sitting in front of the car, talking.

“They’re getting onto us.” One of the spoke, and the guy driving sighed. “We need to figure something out Dareen, get them off our trace.” The guy driving spoke, and y/n recognized the voice of the guy who took her. “And how do you suppose we do that, we have five missing girls, there not going to just forget about them.” The guy, now known as Dareem, stated harshly at his friend. “I don’t know okay.” The guy snapped back “I just need to think”

“What are you going to do with me?” Y/n decided to make herself known, and Dareen glanced back at her. “Well look who’s awake.” He mocked her, and y/n rolled her eyes at him. “We won’t be doing anything to you, yet.” The driver stated, eyeing her in the mirror. “Can I know your names?” Y/n asked, now putting up an act of fear. “The least you know the better.” Dareen stated, and y/n sighed. “Can you tell me where you’re going? I don’t see any lights, so we must be outside the city.” Y/n stated, and Dareen looked back at her, narrowing his eyes. “It doesn’t matter where we’re going.” The driver snapped at her, and she shrunk back in her seat. “I just want to know where I am so I can tell my parents not to worry about me. They’re expecting me home at 11 tonight.” “Well guess you missed your time.” The guy spoke back at her teasingly, and y/n forced tears to come up. “Please, just tell me something. I want to go home.” Y/n chocked, and the driver looked back at her, eyes softening slightly. “You want to go home?” He asked, pretending to care, “Well too bad, your with us now.” “We’ll take care of you, for now.” Dareen winked at her, and y/n frowned at the thoughts spiralling in her head.

-------------------------------------

Jay took two steps at a time as he and Erin returned to intelligence from Med. Will had told him to prevent straining his arm till the stitches came out, but Jay just waved him off. He didn’t care about him, all he cared about was y/n.

“Found anything yet?” Jay asked, looking at Mouse desk where Adam and Keving were currently at. “They’ve taken her outside the city and one of them is called Dareen.” Adam stated, and Jay’s face hardened. “Do we know what they want with her?” Erin asked. “They just said they’d look after her.” Mouse spoke, and Kevin hit his arm as he seen Jay’s hand ball into a fist. “Don’t look too much into it, I’m sure y/n can look after herself.” Erin stated, putting a hand on Jay’s shoulder, frowning as he shook it off.

“Quiet, they’re talking again.” Mouse shouted at everyone, causing silence to come throughout the room.

------------------------------------

Y/n looked around at the place as the car came to a stop. They clearly didn’t care about her seeing where she was as they made no effort to prevent her vision as Dareen took her out of the car, keeping a grip on her arm. She looked around as they walked towards a house.

“Where are we” She asked, and the unknown guys head whipped around to look at her. “ Enough of the questions, we’ll tell you what we want you to know alright.” He snapped at her, and y/n cowered back from him.

She refused to make any more noise, instead allowing Dareen to push her towards a cottage, that seemed to be well taken care of. The light yellow paint on the walls was a stark contrast to what happened behind its walls. And what happened behind these walls were still unknown to y/n, but clearly it wasn’t going to be long till she found out.

The unknown man opened the door and held it open as Dareen and y/n walked inside. She looked around to see a kitchen and living room before a hall was seen with stairs. Dareen pushed y/n towards the hall before proceeding to take out a kay from his pocket. He banged on the door before unlocking it, swinging the door open.

Y/n looked inside to see 5 young women placing hands up to their faces, trying to block the light that strayed into room with the open door.  Y/n glanced at Dareen before he pushed her into the room. She toppled over the steps only for one of the girls to catch her, preventing herself from falling.

“Make your new friend feel welcome girls.” Dareen called out before slamming the door and locking it.

Y/n looked around as her eyes grew used to the low light present in the room she was now held captured in. The girls around her looked at her before turning away, some lying down on dodgy mattresses while others leaned against the walls.

“Hi.” She spoke softly, acting unsure of herself. “Hey.” A timid girl replied, looking around at her fellow hostages, “Don’t worry, they don’t talk very much. Some of us have been here for a long time and just lost the will to communicate.” She explained, nodding towards the girls who ignored her. “Do you know where we are?” Y/n asked the girl who spoke to her, walking to sit beside the girl. “I think it’s Dareen or Kyles house, we’re not really sure. We get given little information around here.” The girl shrugged, looking down at her lap. “Dareen & Kyle, they’re the ones who are holding us here?” Y/n asked, trying to gather information. “Yeah. They seem pretty open about what we hear so I don’t think they plan to have us getting out of here, at least not alive anyway.” The girl spoke, looking y/n in the eye as she said the facts.” “You say they’re pretty open, do you know much about them?” Y/n asked. “They’re two guys who take girls and sell them on for guys to marry. They travel around to avoid getting caught.” “They’re smart I’ll give them that.” Y/n muttered, giving credit to the guys for their smartness. “Would I of heard of them?” “Probably not. They go by Montez brothers.”

------------

“Montez brothers, last related to a case of 5 missing girls in South Carolina. One of the girls were found beaten up by a domestic situation where she reported them as kidnapping her. They fled and haven’t been found since.” Mouse stated, looking up from his computer to Voight. “Where are they residing now.” Voight asked. “r/a.” Mouse stated. “Let’s roll.”

Jay didn’t need to be told twice as he made a run towards his jeep, Erin following in toll.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds- Part 5

Former (ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, Baby Daddy! Jay Halstead x Reader

Jay is there for you when Mouse makes it back to base and is finally able to call but still won't admit that maybe he needs to let you in to the fact that he's struggling more than you know as well.

A/N: This chapter was supposed to go an entirely different way but apparently the fellas wanted to tell their povs (just a little) so here ya go 🤷‍♀️

Warnings: the usual

“Hey, wait up lil mama” you heard Kevin’s voice from behind you when your foot hit the bottom step of the stairs leading up into the precinct. You turned with a smile to see him half jog across the street to you “Morning Kev” His nicknames had slowly shifted once he found out you were pregnant and this most recent one seemed to be the one he was sticking with. 

Once he got to your side he kissed your forehead and cut his eyes at your stomach, silently asking for permission. You nodded so he placed a large hand on your stomach “How’s you and lil bit doing?” you laughed “We’re good. The scan is friday by the way so you’ll know if you’re having a niece or nephew” his eyes lit up “Really? So you starting a group text or what cause you know if not we fixing to be fighting if you tell any of us first” you shook your head “Well me and Jay will know first then Stella, since I scheduled it on her birthday then Will then comes the group text for intelligence” he nodded “I respect that”

-----------

He held his arm out “Can I walk you?” you shook your head again but took his arm regardless. You knew Kevin meant nothing by it, he didn’t see you as helpless by any means. He was simply a gentleman at most turns. Two of the uniforms walked past the two of you and you braced yourself because one of them had made comments under his breath before, but you hoped he wouldn’t be stupid enough to let Kev hear it. He was nearly out of earshot when you heard “Guess she’s shopping for the next baby daddy?”

You felt Kevin stiffen and knew even without looking he’d heard him. “Excuse me?” he asked, dropping your arm to spin around and face both of the other men, effectively putting himself between you and them. “Let it go Kevin” you urged and he looked from them to you “Has this happened before” you cut your eyes at the uniform that had spoke “Get to work and I won’t mention this to Platt” 

He nodded and nudged his partner, both of them taking two steps at the time towards their patrol car once they realized Kevin had indeed heard them. “C’mon. Let’s go to work too” you said, grabbing Kevin’s arm with a small smile like what had just happened didn’t. He remained rooted to the spot “Hell no. What was that?” you shrugged “Just guys gossiping Kev. Ya know? Like saying Jay is partner sexual…. That Mouse probably left because he found out I was sleeping with Jay…that they wonder if Hank was going to kick me out of Intelligence or if Jay fought to keep my spot since I’m a good enough fuck to not pull out of..”

You managed not to tear up at the last one and was proud of yourself for it. Kevin shook his head “That shit aint cool baby girl. You earned your spot, time and again. You’re a damn good cop. You were loyal to Mouse from day one. They keep putting your name in their mouth, I’m gonna knock it out of their mouth” you shook your head “No, you’re not. You’re gonna let it go and not make a big deal out of this because I do not need Hank ripping into the entire fucking precinct or even worse Jay finding out” 

“Of course Jay don’t know. It wouldn’t have gone past one saying something if he did” Kevin sighed and you threw a hand up in the air “Yeah and he would’ve gotten suspended and for what? Some sense of defending my honor? He’s got enough to deal with, please Kev? For me?”  You knew you were asking a lot of him but you and Kevin had been close for a long time, that was how you’d ended up staying with him for a few months when your landlord had kicked you out with no notice when he sold the building.

His shoulders sagged and you smiled slightly “Thank you” he shook his head “You’re pregnant. You have enough to deal with” you shrugged “I’m also a woman, I’m built to handle more” he laughed “That you are lil mama, that you are. Let’s get to work”

Hailey was sitting on the edge of your desk reading over a file while you ran down arrest records of the suspect you were looking at for the murder victim CFD had found in a burnt out SUV on the north end of the park. The Worst part? It was the woman’s husband. From his cell logs and emails you’d uncovered an affair and the financials had shown that he’d been paying a pretty hefty premium to have a life insurance policy out on her that paid out the highest amount. 

“Look at this Hails. His first adult arrest was at eighteen, assault and battery on his then girlfriend because she and I quote went out dressed like a whore” “Guy’s a real peach” she muttered, looking over to your screen. All of you were just waiting on the arrest warrant to come down, you had his cell phone pinged on Hailey’s computer so if he moved it would chime and you could transfer it to a tablet to make tracking him mobile. You were grateful for the skills you had picked up from Mouse since your in field capabilities were starting to become limited, meaning Hank nor Jay wanted you on active takedowns which meant you were stuck driving and waiting in the damn car if a perp was especially violent. 

You laid a hand on your little bump and Hailey cut her eyes at you from the movement with a small smile “They active again?” you shook your head “Not at the moment actually. I think they’re asleep for once” the moment the words left your mouth Jay walked in with Hank “Warrant just came down” as soon as Jay spoke you felt what could only be described as something running across the palm of your hand and you gasped.

Hailey jumped off the desk “Are you ok?” her eyes were wide with worry. You nodded with a small laugh “I think the baby kicked..Jay say something again” Hank raised an eyebrow “Go on Jay, we gotta get moving” Jay met your eyes and you could see he was a little confused before he said “Has his cell moved any?” and sure enough when he spoke the feeling happened across the palm of your hand again. 

You shook your head as you stood up “Son of a bitch” “What?” he asked and you shoved his shoulder “I'm doing all the work and it kicked the first time for your frickin voice!” a broad smile split his face “I’m going to want to feel that when we have time later, you know that don’t you?” another little jitter across your stomach happened and you laughed “Don’t think that will be an issue” then nodded to Hank “Can I at least drive this time?” he shrugged “Sure, why not?”

You stood outside the interrogation room, watching Hank and Hailey manipulate the guy into a corner and he stumbled over his own words. “Got ya asshole” you whispered as Hank slapped the table “You killed your wife and I’m gonna see fit you die in prison for it”

You heard footsteps and didn’t have to turn to recognize them “Come to gloat our kid already likes you more?” you asked and Jay laughed behind you “No, I was just coming to make sure you didn’t need anything to eat. We all missed lunch” a little shiver happened across your stomach at his words and you laughed “That’s gonna be a hazard if you’re ever around when I’m trying to sleep” 

He laughed as he stepped up next to you. You could see the way he kept looking at your stomach so you grabbed his hand and placed it near where you’d last felt movement “Say something” “I’ll try to make sure to not interfere in your sleep” a moment passed then you felt the jitter across your stomach under the heat of his palm about the same time his eyes lit up “I felt it” you nodded “I know, I felt it from inside. Boy or girl, they’re strong” he laughed lightly “Gonna be kickin ass in the nursery? Boxing the other babies?” The jitter happened again, more forceful this time and a genuine smile split his face. “There’s really a baby in there…like I mean I knew..I saw the ultrasounds and all but feeling it…” “Is an entirely different feeling?” you finished for him and he nodded “Makes it more real somehow. Like there’s gonna be an actual human being looking at us to take care of it” you laughed “We can handle it Halstead” 

You realized you’d been standing there with your hand covering his so you moved your hand which caused him to withdraw his own. “We gotta talk about names after we find out the sex because lil bit Kidd isn’t gonna cut it” he joked and you raised an eyebrow “Kidd?” he motioned towards your stomach “Since we’re not together I figured you’d want them to have your last name”

You shook your head “No, call me old fashioned but I think the baby should have your last name Jay, I mean if that’s ok with you?” “Really?” he asked and you couldn’t quite decipher the look on his face so you nodded “Really” and a softer smile split his face before he laughed “Well lil bit Halstead still isn’t gonna cut it either” “Yeah, you’re right”

—-----------

Hank and Hailey walked out of interrogation and he nodded to Jay “Take him down to holding Halstead” “Yes sir” Jay replied and headed into the room. Hank looked towards you “Kidd, help Upton with the reports will ya?” “Yes sir” you replied, just grateful to have something to do besides twiddle your thumbs.

You had just dozed off when your phone started ringing. You jolted back awake, cursing the loud ringtone you’d chosen as you reached blindly for it on the side table before finally giving up and sitting up fully to be able to find it. You grabbed the phone and saw Jay’s name on the screen. You swiped to answer, one fear settling into your chest when you saw it was two in the morning “Jay”

“He’s not dead or hurt. You just told me to wake you up as a warning next time I heard from him” your hands shook as you swiped them across your face. “Fuck. I forgot” you knew he could hear the way your voice was shaking. “Do you want me to come over? I mean, if you’re shook up. I didn’t mean to scare you” “I’m not making you come out this time of night Jay” you whispered, taking a deep breath to not cry on the phone with him. 

“You know I would, right?” he asked and you smiled “I know. Now what did he say?” he took a deep breath and let it out before saying “They’re headed to their base. They’ll be there by Thursday so he’ll be able to make regular phone calls to check in with others besides his point of contact” “So he’ll call the day before the anatomy scan” you whispered, voice breaking. 

“I can handle it if it’s too much. I’ll take it all on me just tell me what I can do” he offered and you laughed, feeling tears threaten “I don’t know Jay. I’m scared to hear his voice because I know it’ll break me but I can’t not talk to him either. I can’t do that to him or myself” you closed your eyes for a moment then sighed “Talk to me. Tell me anything, talk about anything. Get my mind off of this. Off the gossip, off worrying, off everything” “What gossip?” he asked and you grimaced “Nothing” “Y/N?” “Never mind” 

“No no no. Talk to me or I’m coming over there” he pushed and you sighed “I need promises on your temper. Remember if you lose it that me and the baby will get caught in the cross hairs” “I’m coming over” he said and the phone went dead. You stared at the phone open mouthed. He hung up on you!  He fucking hung up on you!

—-----------

You slipped sweatpants on under the large t-shirt you’d gone to bed in and was sitting on the couch when Jay knocked on the door. You looked out the small window just to be certain before opening it to let him in, glaring at him “You fuckin hung up on me!” he shrugged and walked past you into the apartment “And you have apparently been not telling me some things”

He waited until he heard you lock the door and turned to face you with his arms crossed. “Talk” You shrugged one shoulder “Some uniforms like to give their opinions on shit that doesn’t pertain to them Jay! It’s no big deal and nothing I can’t handle” his face softened slightly “What’d they say?” you shook your head “Nothing that’s important ok?”

He shook his head “It’s bothering you. That much is apparent” you shrugged".I'm also pregnant and coursing with hormones. Adam stepping on a frog bothered me. I promise if it's anything serious I would tell you and let you handle it but it wasn’t worth pulling you or Hank into trivial shit ok?”

The baby started to squirm and you groaned, putting a hand on your stomach “Fuck why did you come over so late” he grinned “Did they hear me?” you nodded, reaching for his hand and putting it where you felt the movements “You woke them up!” he laughed before leaning down to your stomach “Hey um, I know we haven’t met yet but I’m your dad and um your mom is a very pretty but very scary lady who is very good at boxing and may kick my ass if you don’t let her go back to sleep”

You shoved him away from you with a laugh “You’re ridiculous you know that?” he shrugged “But you’re laughing when you sounded like you were going to cry on the phone so I’d say driving across town was worth it just for that” you shook your head “You didn’t have to come over” he put one hand back on your stomach and it felt like the baby moved to reach it “Maybe I wanted to see them, or check on you” you smiled “We’re both ok”

“Wanna talk about Mouse?” he asked, cutting his eyes up at you. You sighed “I know hearing his voice is going to make me break. I fucking love him so much Jay. That man owns a huge piece of my heart” he nodded, fingers tracing patterns on your stomach as you spoke since you hadn’t made him move his hand “I could come over? Try to help you hold it together?” you nodded “Maybe? I just..I don’t want this to be a distraction for him but then the idea of him finishing up his contract and coming home to see a toddler that looks like a mixture of his ex and best friend doesn’t sit right with me either” 

He nodded then stood up to his full height before leaning over to kiss the top of your head “We’ll figure it out. I promise” you nodded slowly, cutting your eyes up to meet his blue ones  “I hope so. I love this baby Jay and I don’t consider it a mistake regardless of how it came about but I don’t know how my heart would recover if something happened to him” he smiled softly “I know you don’t consider the baby a mistake and I really don’t know how I’d feel either if something happened to him especially if it was because of one of my actions. He’s been more than a best friend to me. Greg is strong as hell, so are you. We can all handle this” “What about you?” you asked and he smiled “I’m good as long as you’re ok and the baby is ok” 

“We’re good” you promised so he nodded “In that case, I’ll head home. Call me when you get up and I’ll grab whatever you’re craving on the way in” “I can get my own breakfast” you teased with a laugh and he shrugged “Yeah but you’re growing the baby, least I can do is feed you” “Goodnight Jay” he smiled “Goodnight” before heading towards the door.

When the news finally came down to his unit that they had a date they were heading back to base Mouse damn near threatened to shoot Stevenson to use the phone first. The asshole kept the sat phone where everyone else had barely contacted anyone in the last couple months. The one time he’d managed to get a call out to Jay he’d waited until Stevenson was snoring to grab the phone from where the man was bear hugging it. Everyone was sick of his shit.

Everyone was sick of being out in the field. The lack of real food, lack of actual showers and no personal space whatsoever was enough to drive any man up the fucking wall.  He knew he had no right to be looking forward to hearing your voice but he missed you. God, he missed you with every fiber of his being. Yeah he’d chosen this, he’d wanted this back. He’d chosen to break things off with you because at the time he signed the contract the end date was still up in the air and he couldn’t do that to you. You deserved a chance at being happy even if it wasn’t with him. Christ that thought alone was enough to rip his chest open. 

He loved you more than he ever thought himself capable of loving someone. You were everything he could have ever dreamt of but if he had stayed in Chicago in the headspace he’d been in he was afraid he would’ve pushed you away and you wouldn’t have deserved that either. This way you had the freedom that if you found someone you wanted he’d broken things off with you so maybe you wouldn’t feel guilty, even if that thought was enough to damn near kill him. He truly did want you happy just the idea of another man being capable of doing that instead of him didn’t sit right with him. There was a part of him that wouldn’t turn off that screamed you were supposed to be his and he knew that. He wished there was a way to have both but knew there wasn’t.

Time wouldn’t stand still. If he hadn’t broken up with you, yeah you would’ve been right there waiting the moment he got off the plane but now? He wasn’t sure when or if he’d see you again regardless of what the last email the two of you had shared said. From what Jay said you were doing good, terrorizing Jay and Adam as always and you and Stella were keeping Kelly on his toes. He’d also said Voight had helped you find a place so that was good right? There was something in Jay’s voice the times he’d spoken to him though that wouldn’t quit nagging at him that something was wrong.  

Jay insisted everything was ok so he’d convinced himself maybe it was just because he hadn’t heard your voice in so long. He was due back to base in two days now and would make it a point to call you as soon as he could, hopefully that would soothe that restless part of his soul and ease the worries you’d mentioned in your emails. He didn’t like the idea of you distracted because he knew the cases intelligence caught first hand and they weren’t exactly easy.

He laid back across the tiny cot and covered his face with his arm, trying to summon sleep but instead your face flashed through his mind. He had that polaroid of you and him that Kevin had given him on your last birthday in the top of his helmet. He knew he shouldn’t. That was where you kept your girl, not the girl who's heart you broke but he needed you close. 

He’d made a lot of mistakes and breaking things off with you when you hadn’t wanted it was probably near the top of that list even with the addiction and the truck of stolen blu ray players. 

He turned to his side, the cot creaking from the movement and hoped sleep would come.

“So, you’re gonna go to her place and be there when Mouse calls tonight?” Jay was beginning to regret meeting Will for lunch or at the very least not begging you to come along. You’d always gotten along well with his brother and now that you were carrying Will’s niece or nephew you seemed to always win any argument with the redhead the moment they started.

He pushed his half eaten burger away and motioned to the waitress for his check. “Yeah. She asked me to. She doesn’t want to be alone when he hangs up and she doesn’t have to hold it together anymore” You’d asked him that morning, cornering him in the break room. How the hell was he supposed to say anything but a resounding yes? You were standing in front of him, one hand on your stomach and a small hopeful smile on your face as you looked up at him. 

Will shook his head as the waitress came over and placed both of their checks down. “What’s that look about William?” Jay asked him and he shrugged “Nothing man. I just wonder if you’re dealing with everything you need to or if you’re throwing so much into protecting her and protecting Mouse that you’re not trying to work on yourself any” what the hell did he mean by that? 

He was going to therapy weekly with Dr Charles, attending every appointment you had with Dr Asher and didn’t even go to roll call and threaten every damn uniform until he found out just who had said what that put that look in your eyes when you’d talked about it.  He was doing pretty good by his standards. When he didn’t reply Will raised an eyebrow “How much are you sleeping man?” he shrugged “Three or four hours” and knew what was coming before his brother ever groaned loudly “Have you told Dr Charles?”

Jay closed his eyes for a second because he didn’t want to deal with this. He’d agreed to meet his brother for a burger, that was it. Not a fucking lecture. “Yeah, I mentioned it” “And?” Will pushed so he reached for his wallet before digging out the money to cover the bill “He said something about this thing with Mouse could be triggering my trauma response” 

When he raised his eyes to look at Will again he wished he hadn’t “So it’s a form of what? Survivor’s guilt peeking back up or PTSD flaring?” “I don’t know man! Ok? I don’t fucking know!” he hadn’t meant to snap at his brother, he knew he was just trying to look out for him and he damn sure hadn’t meant to draw the attention of a couple nearby tables. Him and Will both gave a small smile before he lowered his voice and added “When I sleep it’s nightmares. Sometimes it’s flashbacks…things that have actually happened”

“And others?” Will asked and Jay took a deep breath before saying “Others are even worse” Others ranged from you dead, the baby cut out of your womb to Mouse’s funeral because he’d found out and decided to not come home at all. “Have you told her you’re struggling?” Will asked and Jay shook his head quickly “No! And neither are you. She’s pregnant, her first pregnancy at a high stress job and she’s worrying about Mouse on top of people apparently choosing to run their mouth about her anytime they think I’m not around and she refuses to tell me who said it or what was said. I gotta protect her from what I can. She doesn’t need to be worrying her baby’s father is gonna go off the deep end before the baby ever gets here”

Will shook his head “So it’s ok for you to protect her and Mouse, ok for her to protect Mouse but it’s not ok for anyone to protect you? How’s that going to end?” Jay checked his phone and saw a text from you that read Voight got a tip from a C.I. He wants everyone back

He showed Will the text and shrugged “Gotta go man” Will sighed “Let me know how it goes?” “Of course” he replied with a tight smile before jogging out the door to his truck.

You were pacing a solid line on your living floor. While Jay had gone for lunch with Will, Stella had come to the precinct and the two of you had eaten in the breakroom. 

“So Mouse is calling tonight?” she asked, taking a bite of the bbq chicken she’d ordered. You nodded, stabbing at your own food “Yeah. Will be the first time I’ve talked to him on the phone since about five months into him leaving” she was quiet for a moment before asking “So first time you’ve spoken to him on the phone since about a month before you slept with Jay?” 

You nodded again “Can I ask you something Stel? And you not answer as my big sister who would do anything to protect me?” she laid down her fork and crossed her hands in front of her, eyes drilling into yours “What is it babygirl?” You kept your eyes down on your food, not really seeing it but needing the distraction as you asked “Am I a horrible person for getting pregnant by the man I still love’s best friend?” 

You slowly raised your eyes and she was chewing on her bottom lip. “Just speak your mind Sis” you begged and she smiled slightly “No sweetie because no matter the fact that you still Mouse and I don’t doubt the fact that he still loves you the fact does remain that he broke up with you before he left. It’s not like this happened the moment he left Chicago either! He was gone six months! Six months! And I know for a fact a lot of guys asked you out or hit on you in Mollys and you turned down each and every one.

You were in a spot where you felt hopeless and was heartbroken, Jay was in that same spot and you both turned to someone you knew and trusted. Does it mean that will help Mouse’s heart with the facts? No. Does that make you a horrible person? Never.”

—---------

A knock at the door nearly made you jump regardless of the fact that you recognised the knock anywhere. You opened moved to the door and smiled when Jay was standing on the other side of the threshold holding out a blueberry banana smoothie with a bag of chinese food in his other hand “Figured lil bit would be kicking your ass about now since Stella said you didn’t really finish your lunch” 

You rolled your eyes “Will needs to step up his game as uncle. I don’t even get a bullet point but Stella apparently gives you a highlight reel” you moved to let him in and he slid the smoothie into your hand and pressed a kiss to the side of your head “We need to talk about what she said” he added before heading to the kitchen.

You closed the door and turned to face him “What did she say?” he raised an eyebrow “Really? We’re gonna play that game?” you shrugged “Pregnancy brain, I forgot” he shook his head “That you asked if you were a horrible person. I thought you’d tackled this hurdle with Dr Charles” he sat the bag down and started taking the boxes out so you walked over to help him “Jay, you of all people know shit like healing isn’t linear. Just when I think I’m eating the guilt I think about it too hard or I get too comfortable or I like the fact that the baby responds to your voice and another wave of it tries to drown me”

He turned to face you, one hand coming up to push the hair back out of your face as it cupped the side of your head “That’s when it’s my job to jump in and pull you out of that wave” his other hand brushed against your stomach “You didn’t do this alone, you’re not going to do this alone. I know where I stand with you. The comfort level, you liking the baby responding to me..it’s just that. The baby. You want your child to have a good father. That’s normal and I promise I’m going to do everything in my power to give you that but don’t do that to yourself. Don’t worry about what anyone else says. We know where we stand with each other”

—---------

You swallowed hard and opened your mouth to respond but was cut off by your phone ringing. He nodded towards the living room “Go get it.I’ll stay in here to give you some privacy” you felt your heart jump up into your throat and what had to be a backflip from the baby at the same time “Ok” damn your voice sounded small.

You damn near ran to your phone and snatched it up before it could stop ringing. When you swiped the unfamiliar number a moment of static hit your ears then Mouse’s voice “Hey sweetheart” your hand flew to your mouth in an attempt to stop the sob from escaping at the emotions that slammed into you at hearing him. 

You eased down onto the couch and swallowed twice before saying “Hey Greg”  when he laughed you could damn near hear the smile on his face, the way his eyes would light up and how he’d look at you with everything when he spoke to you “I love that you’re one of the only people that ever call me by my actual name” you felt tears start to break free and didn’t try to stop them, instead just focusing on keeping them out of your voice “I only call you Mouse when you piss me off” you teased and he laughed again, the sound making your heart flip and the baby squirmed from how your body was reacting. You put a hand on your stomach in an attempt to soothe the baby because they were currently burrowing into your ribcage and that shit hurt causing you to jump up off the couch.

You must have let out a huff of air because his voice changed from laughter to concern “Hey, are you ok?” you let out a slow breath, rubbing your side in an attempt to urge the baby to move. Jay’s eyes silently tracked your movements, trying to gauge if you needed his help. After a moment the pain passed but you and Jay shared a concerned look, what were you gonna tell Mouse?

 “Um, yeah I hit my side tackling some asshole today. Will said it was ok but I must have turned the wrong way” you closed your eyes, silent tears flowing down your face from lying to him. You hated it but it wasn’t like you could say “Oh no worries honey, the baby that your best friend put in me is doing gymnastics at the moment” his voice softened “Wonder woman thinking she’s invincible again” you laughed lightly “You just wanna see me in the outfit” that pulled another laugh from him “There’s a mental image that will carry with me for months to come..thank you for that Y/N” you wanted to tell him so much, that you missed him and hoped he was safe. That you hoped he’d get an end date soon, that he’d figure out what he wanted to do afterwards, that he’d be happy.

The only thing you managed was “It’s so good just to hear your voice and know you’re ok” you wiped your eyes and turned with your back to Jay. You couldn’t talk to Mouse and be looking at Jay the entire time. Your stomach was already rolling. “You don’t know how good it is to hear your voice” he replied, causing you to focus on your breathing. 

You could hear another man’s voice behind him “Gerwitz, we’re on a time limit first day back. Everybody has someone they wanna call” “C’mon Gore give me a few more minutes” “Mouse dammit, get off the phone and give it to the next in line. You haven’t even hit the showers yet” 

Your heart twisted knowing he hadn’t even bothered going to the showers first when they got back to base, he made a beeline for phones. He called you before showering or eating or even settling. He called you before his own comfort. Checking on you came before his own comfort.

“I gotta go Y/N. I’ll call when I can and try to text if I can get my hand on a phone card. If not I’ll email as I can and maybe even be able to hit a zoom call if we’re lucky but you’ll have to drag Jay into it so I can see his ass too”

You swallowed hard “I will, I promise. Stay safe and keep your promise about seeing me in person again ok? I can’t live the rest of my life without seeing that face again” he chuckled “Oh darlin, they aint got a bad enough war to keep me from breaking that promise. You stay safe too. Bye” “Bye”

—----------

The moment the line went dead you dropped the phone and crumpled back onto the couch, sobs wracking your body. You hadn’t even heard him move but before you knew it Jay was sitting next to you, wrapping both arms around your body “Sweetheart, you gotta calm down. The baby can’t take this” you turned to bury your face in his neck so he pulled you closer, nearly into his lap. “Just breathe baby” he whispered into your hair.

“It’s the lying…I fuckin hate the lying” you spoke against his skin and he nodded “I know sweetheart, I know” you laid your head back down so he started rubbing across your back, trying to soothe you because he didn’t know anything else to do.From the position the two of you were in your stomach was against the side of his and when he felt a weird movement he cut his eyes down at you for confirmation and you nodded “That was a kick” before burrowing further into him. 

You knew you should just eat and go to bed but you couldn’t find the strength to move and Jay was so damn warm against your body. The baby was curled up against the side of your stomach that was closest to Jay. You needed to comfort of someone, you were losing your fucking mind between hormones and guilt and the fuckin mouth running. There were worse places than Jay's arms.

You felt yourself dozing off but didn’t quite register it until a few hours later when you woke up. You were still in the same position, curled up to Jay and he still had his arms loosely around you. You looked around at the clock to see about five hours had passed. You started to uncurl yourself but your limbs didn’t quite want to work with you. You gently tapped Jay,a little worried to startle him but he jolted just slightly before remembering where he was. He smiled gently at you “Are you ok?”

You nodded “I’m ok. I just can’t get up on my own. I think my legs are asleep and I’m really hungry and I gotta pee” he laughed before nodding “Ok then, let’s get you up. While you pee I’ll warm up the food we never ate” you smiled and when he started to stand you stopped him with a hand on his arm. He looked at it then at you so you smiled again “You’re a damn good man Jay Halstead” the smile that split his face was enough to make you hope the baby got his smile “Thank you. Now let’s get you up”

@desimarie12

Part 6

[vroomvroommuppett]

very proud of this one

[thewannabewriter]

THAT WAS AMAZING 👏 🙌

I was wondering where you were going to go with that and it was absolutely brilliant. I don't have much else to say (adored the Mouse and Bex scene, of course he got distracted from meditation by birds and a squirrel, and of course Bex is struggling but doing everything she can to not show it. Even roping Kol into helping. And Connor and Will were sweet too. I love how telling Bex is a punishment/threat). I'm just going to go and repeat the cycle depicted above.

Also, I do love an obsessed phsyco 😈

Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Five)

Summary: This is Part Twenty-Two of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Injury Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, Team as Family, Kissing, Romance, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Friday

*** 

Jay

Jay scrubbed a hand down his face as Dr. Fredericks patiently waited for him to, you know, actually talk.

“You know what happened,” he began, figuring she’d at least heard through the grapevine if not directly from a few of her other first-responder patients. “With my sister and my brother.”

“I do.” Dr. Fredericks nodded. “But that doesn’t mean I know how you experienced it. I’d rather hear it in your own words.”

Rubbing a hand over his mouth, he slumped back in his chair, trying to gather his words. Dr. Fredericks waited. Infuriatingly patient, as always.

He couldn’t—he didn’t want to revisit that day. Any of it. But he knew the drill by now—knew he had to if there was any hope of getting a handle on it. The only way out was through and all that shit. Jay took a breath and tried to centre himself.

Slowly, haltingly, he told her everything. Every horrifying minute. Listening to the attack. Thinking that Bex—that she was dead before he could even get to her. Emery. And then Will. How he can’t stop hearing or seeing any of it whether he’s awake or asleep. How he’s trying to keep it together for Bex—trying to keep Bex together while she’s slowly falling apart before his eyes. Pretending she’s fucking fine.

Like any of them are.

They talked through his feelings of ‘misplaced’ guilt—Jay didn’t know if it would be possible to ever fully rid himself of that—and his extremely justified anger at Ty.

“I just—I want him gone,” Jay snapped out. “I don’t want him to ever be able to touch my family ever again. I’m doing everything I can think of to make that happen, but none of it feels like enough.”

Dr. Fredericks tilted her head at him. “What have you been doing?”

“I can’t work the case, obviously,” Jay said, still aggravated about that. “But I remembered my dash cam was on and it caught the phone call with Bex so I’ve handed that over. You can hear Ty pretty friggin’ clearly on that so it should help the prosecutors.” Detective Medeiros kept reminding him how huge a help that actually was.

“Mouse and I have been staying with her so I know there’s always someone there,” he continued. “But—”

“…but?” she prompted.

“We both have to start back at work on Monday,” Jay sighed. “They’re letting us switch our shifts around so at least one of us will be there—most of the time anyway, but I—I don’t know how I’m going to do it.”

“Return to work?”

“Leave Bex,” he said, shaking his head. “I tried to go for groceries on Wednesday and I-I had a panic attack in the parking lot of her building about leaving her alone. And Mouse was still there! I mean—I did it. I went. We needed food, but it…it was hard.”

“That’s understandable after a trauma like you’ve had,” Dr. Fredericks said. “Have you talked to Bex about your fears?”

“I don’t…no, no, I haven’t.” Jay sat up and grabbed the glass of water she’d set out for him. Gave his hands something to do. “Our oldest brother, Chris—he already had a talk with her along those lines this week.” Thankfully Chris had filled him in later because Bex hadn’t said a word. “I don’t—I don’t want to pile my shit on top of all that. I know she knows I’m worried about her. I keep checking on her while she’s ‘sleeping’—”

“Why the air quotes,” Dr. Fredericks cut in.

“Because I’m pretty sure she’s faking it,” he said, heart sinking all over again at the thought. “She went from waking us up with screaming nightmares to total silence in the span of a day. That doesn’t happen. But she’s resting, at least, and that was a huge fight to win.” His lips twisted in a wry smile. “One battle at a time, right?”

“That’s—”

“I know.” Jay held up a hand. “Something I need to talk about with her eventually, but I’ve been in her place, Doc. Hurt and in pain and knowing that there’s nothing you can do to speed up the process. It’s—it’s shitty and sleeping with broken ribs is actually pretty hard. I want to give her a bit of space���on that front, anyway.”

“Okay.” Dr. Fredericks levelled a look at him across the coffee table. “If talking to Bex is off the table, for now, what else do you think can be done to help you feel more comfortable with returning to work.”

Aside from removing Ty Anderson from the face of the planet? Jay blew out a breath as he wracked his brain, running through all of their plans and back up plans and—

“I think…I think we might be doing everything we can? To keep Bex safe, I mean.” He bobbed a little nod. “Aside from rolling her up in bubble wrap or something.”

“Which wouldn’t be good for her ribs,” Dr. Fredericks pointed out with a small smile. Jay popped a finger gun at her. “Fair point.” He let out a little laugh before sighing and running a hand over his face. “Can you just…tell me it’ll get easier at some point?”

“How long have we been seeing each other, Jay?”

“Couple of years,” he said, not bothering with the actual math. “Off and on.”

“So,” Dr. Fredericks said, not giving him an inch. “What do you think the answer to that is?”

Not easier.

Not ever really with the way their lives went, but eased. With time and a hell of a lot of work.

They all had a long road ahead of them.

*** Bex

Bex watched the numbers on her phone turn over and silenced the alarm as soon as it went off. Kol snuffled as he wiggled closer beside her and licked at her chin. She gave him a little scratch behind his ear.

“Good boy, Kol,” she said. “You did a good job.”

He’d snuck into her room on Tuesday night as Mouse was leaving and snuggled in beside her. Bex wasn’t about to turn him away and around one a.m., she was extra happy for that decision when he nudged her awake right as a nightmare was headed toward screaming out loud territory.

She did not need another night of waking up Mouse and Jay and having them burst into her room thinking she was fighting off an attack. Again.

Kol got plenty of treats for his help and now three nights in, they’d managed to keep up their little system. He woke her up before the nightmares got too bad. Mouse and Jay got more sleep—mostly. Jay kept checking on her, but she was pretty sure he was sleeping in between checks. She was only managing to get a couple of hours a night, but it wasn’t like she was exerting herself much throughout the day anyway.

The nightmares would fade at some point. They had to.

In the meantime, Operation Stop Worrying Your Whole Family was under way.

“Okay,” Bex said, pushing Kol away gently. “Time to get up and face the day.” She was workshopping times for how early she could come out of her room and not have Mouse look at her with that tiny little frown line between his eyebrows, asking her if she got enough sleep.

Seven a.m. and eight a.m. were not it. Maybe eight-thirty would be the magic number.

Bex grit her teeth as she leveraged herself out of bed, ribs screaming at her. Most of her body was still one giant bruise and moving, standing, or sitting—everything friggin’ hurt.

Slowly, but surely, she made her way toward her door. Taking a deep breath—ow, OW, ow—Bex pasted a smile onto her face and headed out into the hallway…

Into a quiet apartment.

Hunh.

Will’s bedroom door was open with no Jay inside—right. He was going to therapy this morning. Bex hoped the empty room meant he was following through with that and actually made his appointment. She’d overheard enough whispered conversations between him and Mouse to know they were both still beating themselves over what happened. Like any of the blame fell on them.

She crept out into the living room, shuffling along while Kol pranced beside her. With a bark, he shot ahead, nosing at the balcony door and she finally spotted Mouse sitting out there cross-legged.

“Oh, hey!” He turned around at the noise, scrambling to his feet as soon as he saw her. Sliding open the screen door, he stepped inside, scanning her face with worried eyes. That stupid frown line starting to form. “Did you get—”

“Hey! Good morning to you too,” she said, dragging that smile back out. “What were you doing out there?”

“Ah. I, uh—” Mouse rubbed at the back of his neck. Blushing. Bex’s smile suddenly felt a lot less forced.

“Mouse…” she teased, stepping closer. “Spill.”

“I was trying out a meditation thing that Lucy keeps recommending to me,” he blurted out. “Like a quiet-the-mind-relaxation-thing—”

Because he was stressed. About her. About all of this.

“Did it help?” She mentally crossed her fingers, already planning to send Lucy cookies if it had. Even a little bit.

“Oh, I didn’t—I actually got distracted watching some birds chase a squirrel in the parking lot,” Mouse confessed with a little snort. “I think they were playing? I hope they were, otherwise those were some mean birds.”

Bex laughed, doing her best to stifle the groan that followed as she pressed a hand against her side. Mouse’s face fell instantly.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He crowded into her space, hand hovering over hers, carefully not touching. “I shouldn’t make jokes. Are you okay—”

“I’m fine, I—I don’t want you to stop making jokes,” she said. “Ever, okay?” She stared at him until he met her eyes again. “Promise?”

Mouse held her gaze before sighing and dropping his forehead to press against hers. “Promise.”

“Good.” Bex moved forward to wrap her arms around him and snuggle into his chest. “Let’s try this again. Good morning.”

“Morning, Bex.” Gentle, gentle arms wrapped around her, holding her close. “How about I make you some breakfast?” Mouse asked hopefully.

Her stomach rolled at the thought and Bex hid her grimace into shirt. “Sure,” she said. “That sounds great.”

***

Connor

Will sighed as his care team left the room and Connor sat quietly beside him, holding his hand while they both absorbed the big news.

“Guess I can cancel the rescue squad,” Will said, cracking a grin despite the dark circles under his eyes.

Connor snorted. “Like Severide would bust you out of here and risk Bex coming down on him.”

“Hey—ugh.” Will’s face fell. “I almost made a joke about how now was the best time since she’s out of commission, but—”

“Too soon.” Connor shook his head and Will nodded solemnly.

“Way too soon,” he agreed. “Think she’ll be coming by today or should we call her with the good news? Oh, we gotta talk to Jay and Mouse about moving stuff around so I can have space to maneuver. Our apartment isn’t exactly wheelchair friendly.”

Dr. Allan was letting him take very short walks, but he had to be careful due to the severity and placement of his wound. He couldn’t stress his abdomen while it was still healing which meant lots of bed rest and using a wheelchair more often than not to get around. At least for the next few weeks.

And Will was right about his apartment. Seemed like it was time for the discussion Connor had been prepping for in his brain over the past few days.

“So,” he cleared his throat. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Mm?” Will glanced at him before continuing to type out a list on his phone, head shooting back up when he registered the serious look on Connor’s face. “What’s up?”

“I think that it would be best if you came home with me instead of your apartment,” Connor said, squeezing Will’s hand gently when he instantly started to argue. “Just—wait, please. Hear me out.”

Huffing out a breath, Will sank back against his pillows, the fight draining out of him as quickly as it had flared up. “Tell me.”

“My place is bigger,” Connor began. “You’ll have more room so you won’t have to worry about bumping into anything.”

“At least if I bump into anything at my place, I’ll know it didn’t cost five grand a cushion,” Will snarked and Connor raised an eyebrow at him.

“What happened to hearing me out?”

Will mimed zipping his lips, making Connor laugh softly as he rolled his eyes.

“Better.” He leaned in and took Will’s hand again. “There’s a ramp to the building and the elevator is solid.” Will and Bex’s place had two steps to get in and Connor had a disconcerting lack of confidence in the elevator. “I’ve got a walk-in shower,’ he continued, trying to hit all of the highlights right off the bat. “It’ll be easy to make it accessible and you can’t deny that my mattress is way better than yours.”

Using his free hand to unzip his lips, Will said, “…I do love your mattress.”

Connor knew that would be a point in his favour.

“I know the biggest issue is that you want to be back with Bex,” he said and Will nodded. “But this would just be temporary and like you said, she’s trying to recover too. Jay and Mouse are there. They’ve got her covered. And I’m pretty sure they won’t be leaving anytime soon so five people trying to operate in your apartment is a recipe for disaster.”

“Five?” Will’s face scrunched up in confusion. Connor fought off the urge to sigh.

“Yes, babe, five,” he said. “You think I’m not going to be with you for every step of your recovery, no matter where you’re staying? I already talked to Goodwin about taking a leave.”

“Con…”

“Out of everything, that is the one thing that’s non-negotiable. I mean it.” Connor blinked back tears as his breath caught. “You don’t—you don’t know what it was like, Will. You got shot. Right in front of me—I was—you almost bled out in my arms. I thought you were going to die, that I was going to lose you and I couldn’t—” He swiped a hand over his cheeks, shaking his head. “It was the worst day of my life and I just…I don’t want to let you out of my sight for a little while, okay? Is that—will you let me do that? Please?”

Will opened his arms as Connor’s voice broke on those last words, letting Connor sink into them—carefully—and they held each other until Will whispered, “Okay.”

Connor sat back up, searching his face for any hint of doubt or reluctance, but he was smiling softly at Connor through teary eyes. “Are you sure?”

“You’re right about all of it,” Will said, chewing on his lip as he considered his next words. “Your space is a better set-up, but more importantly, I think it would be best for us to be together in that space. Mouse and Jay have Bex covered and we can still visit and like you said, it’s temporary. I’m not letting Jay steal Bex as a roomie now. He had his chance.”

Relief flooded through Connor as a week’s worth of tension just…disappeared. “That’s—thank you, babe.” He leaned in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Will said, quirking an eyebrow at him. “I’m calling dibs ‘not it’ on telling Bex about this.”

Connor sat back in his chair with a thump.

Well.

Shit.

***

Jay

Jay walked out of the doctor’s office and blinked at the sight of Voight and Olinsky standing next to his truck. His heart dropped.

What now?

“What’s going on?” he called out as he jogged over. “What happened? Is—”

“Bex, Will, and Emery are all fine,” Voight said, cutting off his immediate worries. “There’s nothing wrong with your family or the team, but we do need to talk.”

“Not here,” Olinsky added.

They both looked grim and Jay had about a thousand questions, but all he asked was, “Where?”

Voight jerked a nod at his truck. “Follow us.” He stalked off toward his vehicle without another word, assuming Jay would follow as ordered. He’d promised Bex and Mouse he’d be back right after his appointment, but something was clearly going down and Jay didn’t want to be out of the loop. Whatever it was, it was serious enough for them to track him down at his therapist’s office.

He shuddered to think of how many privacy laws they’d violated to do that.

Jay got in his truck and followed them out of the lot, bracing himself for whatever shit was coming their way now.

***

Hank

Al was silent beside him as they drove toward one of the abandoned industrial yards that Hank preferred for meetings like this.

Silent and yet incredibly loud in his judgment.

“Spit it out,” Hank growled.

“Is this really the right way to play it?” Al sighed.

“I’m not going to risk someone else breaking the news,” he shot back. “We need to catch him off-guard. See his face.”

“You don’t actually think he had anything to do with it.” Al turned and Hank could see him staring at him out of the corner of his eye.

“I hope not,�� Hank said slowly. “But I also know we’re all capable of almost anything when someone threatens our family. And I think I have to see his face to know for sure.”

They rolled along the cracked pavement of the empty warehouse yard with Halstead pulling in close behind. He slammed the door of his truck as he got out, striding over to stand with vibrating impatience as he waited for them to join him.

“What the hell is this about?”

Hank waited until he was right in front of him. Eye to eye. “Ty Anderson is dead.”

Halstead blinked, unmistakable shock crossing his face. Unfiltered.

Good.

“What the—when? How?”

“Stabbed,” Al piped up. “Tuesday night. They did an internal investigation that came up as ‘fucked around and found out.’ Which tracks.” He shrugged. “Detective Medeiros only found out about it last night and came knocking on our door this morning.”

“She said he was found in section of the prison where the cameras were on the fritz,” Hank said, still watching Halstead carefully. “Nobody saw anything. Nobody heard anything. He bled out before he was found.” He waited a beat. “She wanted to know if we’d heard anything.”

Halstead narrowed his gaze. “Asked me what you dragged me out here to ask me.”

“We just want to know if anybody’s gonna hear something,” Hank said, crossing his arms as he stared right back. “Better to do clean up now than be caught with our pants down later.”

Closing his eyes, Halstead shook his head as he took a deep breath. “What?” he demanded, shooting a glare at both of them. “You think I had something to do with this? Ordered a hit?”

Hank shrugged. “Wouldn’t blame you.”

“If I was going to kill him,” Halstead snarled, jabbing a finger at him. “I would have done it that day. At Emery’s. He’s fucking lucky Hailey was there to stop me.” He shook his head and let out a harsh breath. “No,” he said, a little bit more even this time. “I wouldn’t—I didn’t have anything to do with it…but I hope whoever did? Made it hurt.”

The crime scene photos flashed through Hank’s mind. “You got your wish there, kid.”

Halstead went quiet for a moment. Calculating. “…was it you?”

The thought had crossed his mind. Briefly, hours later in the aftermath, when he’d met the sunrise in his kitchen with a bottle of scotch at his side. He knew enough people, had enough money, and was owed enough favours to make it happen.

But Al had shown up, tugged the bottle out of his hand and halted his silent plans with a quiet word. She wouldn’t want that. Don’t put it on her.

“No,” Hank said, meeting Halstead with a steady look of his own. “None of us.”

Halstead nodded, relaxing minutely before flinging out a hand. “Then who?”

“Guy like Ty,” Al said. “The possibilities are endless.”

***

Statesville Correctional Center

Peters

Nathaniel Peters had worked at Statesville for the better part of twenty years and has crossed paths with all kinds of inmates. Mean ones, innocent ones, friendly, scared, pissed off…

All kinds.

But only one had ever truly unnerved him.

Robert Forrest. Or Ramsay as he was better known as. His crimes of record were hacking and embezzlement, but the cops and the feds and the rest of the suits had no idea who they were really dealing with. The other criminals did though and Peters had heard all of those rumours. Witnessed enough violent outbursts to believe them.

Most of the more violent residents at Statesville had a kind of anger that Peters could understand. A rage that burned hot and fast, leaving a path of destruction before flaming out. It passed.

Ramsay. He was nothing but rage. A constant fire that burned cold. Controlled. He wielded his anger like a knife and there was no running once he had you in his sights. The hunt was all part of the game for him. It didn’t matter if he did the killing or if he paid one of his many pawns. As long as there was blood in the end, he was happy.

Peters was very invested in keeping Ramsay happy.

The guard before him had already up and ‘quit’ abruptly. Ramsay paid the warden well enough that he had the run of the place. The way Peters saw it, he might as well play nice and earn his extra money while he could. Stay on Ramsay’s good side…such as it was.

As soon as he had enough for that little fishing hut down in Florida, he was out of here.

In the meantime, he’d be the best damn pawn in Ramsay’s arsenal.

Knocking on the door of Ramsay’s cell, he waited for permission before sliding open the window. “Some detective’s asking questions,” Peters said. “But the warden has it handled.”

“And Mitchell?”

“Says thank you for the bonus,” Peters said, holding back a snort. The other guard jumped on the job as soon as it was offered. Didn’t hurt that he’d been itching to deal with Anderson since day one. “He’s waiting until the questions die down before taking his early retirement. Everything’s holding up so far. Nothing to tie back to him.” Ramsay hummed, pleased. “I do appreciate tidy work.” There was a pause before his face suddenly appeared in the window, taking everything Peters had not to flinch.

“Do you think she’ll be pleased?” Ramsay asked, eyes wide and unsettlingly earnest.

“Who—”

“My songbird, you idiot,” Ramsay hissed. “My Bex. Do you think she’ll like her gift?”

“Y-yeah,” Peters managed to get out. “I think she’ll be real grateful.”

Ramsay backed away from the door with another little hum. “Good. Maybe I should send her some more flowers. To help her recuperate.”

“I’ll get right on that,” Peters said as he slid the window closed. He shuddered as he walked back down the hall. He might be a coward and a pawn…

But at least he wasn’t Ramsay’s girl.

***

  Jay

Grateful felt like the wrong word when someone had been murdered—even someone like Ty—but Jay wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t relieved.

Ty was gone.

He could never touch his family ever again.

For the first time in a week, Jay felt like he could actually breathe.

“What now?” he asked Voight.

“Detective Medeiros gave us permission to let the most important people know so that’s where we’re headed next,” Voight said, jerking his chin at Jay. “We were going to hit 51, Med, and then your place. Coming with?”

“Yeah,” Jay nodded. “Definitely.” He needed to be there for this. To let Emery, Will, and Bex know they were safe.

No matter how it happened, that part he truly was grateful for.

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3 [A/N - please do click over to read on ao3 because there are some important notes at the end of the chapter to read]:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @lookingfortherainbow85

[delespresso]

HONEY TRAP ━━ Jay Halstead x Fem!reader

author's note; finally done with my presentations yippee! can go back to my requests now hehe, also this was kinda short?? idk, i hope its okay!

prompts; Jay Halstead with Hozier "I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife"

summary; in which jay's undercover and she's told him everything

━━ ☄. *. ⋆

It’s been a month since Jay was sent undercover. Something that was supposed to only last for a week ended up being extended far longer than they’d expected— and there was yet to be an end date in sight. But he’d adapted, he always did.

They knew him as Ryan, the expert in bitcoins and such. The organisation Intelligence had been gunning for was planning a pretty big heist and they needed someone who knew their way around it.

Jay himself was no expert. But he was good at bullshitting. And he learned a thing or two from Mouse to equip his undercover work.

What he never expected was the mob boss’ daughter taking over the heist planning. She became the mastermind, using him for her plans and unknowingly leaking everything to the Chicago police.

Mainly because he ends up in her bed every other night that he's been undercover. It was supposed to be a job — a simple honey trap so they could bust the crew.

But God, she was everything he could ever dream of. But she was the very thing he couldn't have if he wanted to keep his job.

“Your mind's in the clouds again.”

He was brought right back to reality when her sweet voice spoke so quietly. She was right there, on top of him, in nothing but his shirt as she pressed fleeting kisses on his collarbone.

The slightest smile pulled on his lips as he looked down at her, his fingers running through her tousled hair — his very own handiwork.

“Just thinking ‘bout tomorrow,” he muttered, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “You're so sure it's gonna work out.”

She hummed softly, her body molding against his with a soft smile on her face.

“It will. Everything's gonna be fine,” she assured softly.

“And if the cops find out?”

He couldn't tell her. But the cops already knew — Voight had already planned a bust, ready to finally have the crew in cuffs like he'd been planning for months.

All because Jay had told him everything she tells him.

“They won't. I told you everything, just go accordingly,” she shrugged.

It felt like a knife was stabbed and twisted in his gut when she said so surely. She did tell him everything — and he told his team. Because it was his job.

He cupped her face in his hands, making her look at him with a raised brow. For a moment he was just silent, his eyes tracing her sweet features. If only she wasn't the mobster's daughter. If only she wasn't a part of it herself.

He pulled her in, their lips meeting in a languid kiss. Because God knows it might be the last.

He rolled them over so she was on her back, not once releasing her from their kiss. And even this was all he could have of her — he'd make it worthwhile.

By the next afternoon, everything blew to pieces. The crew was getting ready to get the heist done. The other guys were in a separate van, pretending to be technicians coming to fix things.

She was in the passenger seat of another car with Jay driving. He knows Intelligence would be there, busting the whole heist soon. And he made a decision he knew could possibly cost him.

He took a different turn, going the opposite direction of the building they were heading for.

Her head shot up, realising he was diverting.

“Ryan,” she looked at him with raised brows.

“The cops are gonna bust your ass if we go there right now. You need to leave,” he said firmly.

She stared at him in confusion and bewilderment.

“I told you the plan, it's foolproof—”

“You told me the plan and I told my boss.”

She paused at his interruption. He was still driving, focused on the road but he was tense beyond words. Her sudden silence made his heart race faster.

“I'm a cop. I've been undercover for the past month,” he finally spoke again, confirming her silent thoughts.

Then he felt it — the knife against his neck. The cool metal was pressing against his skin and he cursed under his breath.

“I trusted you—”

“I lied. I know. You kill me now, we're gonna crash. Do you want that?” he retorted.

She seemed to consider it. But she didn't move the knife even as he kept driving.

“And how do I know you're not leading me right to them?” she asked.

This time he was the one who went silent. For a moment there, he couldn't say a word. Because really; how can he prove it to her that he won't?

“Because you know how I feel about you. I lied about everything but never that,” he confessed softly, daring a glance at her as he drove.

Then he looked back forward, the cool metal of the blade still glaringly obvious against his skin. She hesitated, considering her options. All their nights together — it wasn't just sex. It became something much more than that.

Slowly, she pulled her knife away. But she didn't keep it.

“Airstrip,” was all she said.

Because now there was no way she could stay in Chicago. So she'd have to disappear. But not without a lingering kiss goodbye — despite the betrayal she felt.

Jay made up an excuse for Voight. Something about her changing her mind and ditching the crew last minute. Intelligence managed to cuff the crew though, all except her. The mastermind.

And something in his gut told him they'd see more of her eventually

liked this tale? be a member and buy me some coffee!

[saragarnier]

Away from you pt. 3

pairing: jay halstead x reader

summary: Jay found you in your old apartment, packing all your belongings

Warning: None

A/N: well, i guess i have to write also part 4 now, stay tuned!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Previous part Next Part

One month passed after you left Chicago and Jay never gave up on you. Every single day, he tried to track your phone with Mouse, he tried to call you, hoping for your answer, and he used his power as a detective of the intelligence to find out if you used one of your credit cards somewhere.

For a month, Jay went home with the hope of finding you there, of discovering that you choose to give him another chance and every day he found himself alone in the house, with all your belongings still there. Sometimes he took out one of your t-shirts to feel your smell again and he discovered that he missed every single part of you. He missed the way you always prepared coffee for him too before leaving for work, he missed hearing your voice, he missed seeing your smile, he missed hugging you and cuddling with you on the bed before going to sleep, he missed your messages during the shift, and he missed searching for you at the Chicago Med every single time he went there for work.

He missed everything of you.

He missed you.

That day, Jay got home earlier after being shot on the job and he wasn’t prepared at all to find suitcases in the Hallway. He looked around and he spotted your ring, the one he gave to you and the one that was his mom’s before, on the kitchen counter, with a note nearby.

He walked towards it, and he lift the note to read it; there were only few words on it.

“Maybe you should give it to Hailey.”

Jay felt his heart skipping a beat, then he looked up when he heard something coming from the bedroom; he silently walked towards it, still shocked by the fact that you were there, you finally came home, and he finally had the chance to talk to you after weeks of silence. He thought he lost you forever and having the opportunity to talk to you was something he dreamed of for four weeks.

When he entered the bedroom, you were trying to grabbed a box that was high in the wardrobe, too high for you to reach for it. You gave up and turned around to grabbed a chair, but you stopped when you finally saw Jay in front of you, few meters away. He was still at the door frame, looking at you like he was actually looking at a ghost; he was skinnier than you remembered, and he looked like he didn’t sleep well for weeks.

You, on the other hand, looked beautiful as always. You were skinnier too but, besides that, you looked good.

“Y/n…” Jay was the first one to talk, whispering your name and looking at how your body reacted to his voice; you shivered at your name being said by him, the love of your life.

Even if you tried hard to forget him, Jay was still the love of your life and you couldn’t forget him or prevented you from reacting this way, especially when he was in front of you, as good as always. He was skinnier and he looked tired, but he was still beautiful to your eyes, even after what he did to you, even after seeing him having sex with someone else. You wanted to scream at him, you wanted to slap him in the face, and you wanted to go out of the apartment as soon as you could, but you were frozen and it looked like you couldn’t move or talk at all.

Minutes passed and there was silence between you two, then, finally, you found your voice again. “You should have been at work…” You said, gulping. “Will said you would have been at work and that the apartment would have been empty…”

Jay finally found the courage to make a small step towards you and, when he saw that you stayed where you were, he made another one, stopping right in front of you.

“I got shot on the job…” he said, lifting his shirt to show her a bandage around his abdomen. “I got shot and they sent me home to rest…”

Even after what he did to you, you couldn’t help but being worried for him; you made a step forward and you placed a hand on his abdomen, worried as hell. “W-What? Did you go to the hospital?”

Jay shivered, feeling your hand on his body. God, how he missed your touch.

“It wasn’t necessary… It’s nothing to be worried about, Sylvie looked at it on the ambulance and said that everything should have been good.”

“What? Didn’t you go to the hospital for a full check-up? Are you crazy?!” You exclaimed, pushing him on the bed and looking at him from above. “Take off your shirt, I’m going to check on you.”

You would have preferred to leave him and leave your apartment immediately, but you just couldn’t leave him there without being sure that everything was okay; you lift your sleeves and you took out the first-aid kit.

Jay tried to repress a smile, but he wasn’t able to. He looked at you, happy to see that you were still worried about him, happy to see that you actually cared about him still, even after what he did to you. Besides, having you trying to help him with the wound would have been an excellent excuse to talk to you before you left forever, because he knew that if you would have left that apartment, it would have been for forever.

He couldn’t let you do it, he couldn’t let you leave, not if he didn’t have the chance to explain everything to you.

“As you command…” He whispered, biting his lips and finally taking off his shirt. The bandage Sylvie put on him had a blood stain on the left side of his abdomen, where he was probably hit. Jay moaned in pain when you cut off the bandage, kneeling in front of him to have a better view and placing both your hand at the side of the wound. It still hurt, but nothing he wouldn’t have been able to handle.

“It went through…” You whispered, looking at the wound carefully. “Didn’t Sylvie talked about putting some stitches?”

“Yeah, maybe…” He whispered. “ She said that she recommended them, but I needed to go to the hospital, and I didn’t want to hear Will talking about how reckless I am on the job…”

“Well, Will’s got a point.” You said, shaking your head and grabbing all you needed to put some stiches. “You’re lucky I have everything I need here with me.”

“I’m lucky I fell in love with a doctor…” He corrected you.

Jay knew that he went too far when he saw your face; he wanted to apologize but he was interrupted by a moan of pain when you started to put stitches on him, not in the painless way possible. You had put stitches on him before and he perfectly knew that you were better than that, but he didn’t complain about it, after all he deserved to be punished for what he did to you, he deserved to feel some pain after how he treated you, after how you must have felt.

“Do not say it again.” You said, without looking at him once. “You have no rights to tell me that after what you did to me.”

You stayed focused on what you had to do, trying to not think about him having sex with Hailey, an image that followed you in New York and that persecuted you every time you slept. You remembered him on top of her every night and every night you heard him saying that he loved her again and again.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered looking at you and smiling when he saw you biting your bottom lip something you always do when you’re focused on something. “I wanted to talk to you and explain everything to you, but I couldn’t call you… I couldn’t find where you were.”

“Because I didn’t want to be found.” You spoke. “And I don’t want to hear anything from you; there’s nothing to explain. You slept with her for God knows how long.”

“That night was the first and the last one.” He immediately said.

“Liar.” You whispered, shaking your head and being rude with the next stich; you heard him moan in pain again, but you didn’t care. You were helping him even after what you did, and he still had the courage to lie to you? you couldn’t accept it. “Kim told me that you left work at 8 pm for weeks and I thought that you stayed at work trying to have a promotion while you were actually sleeping with your partner!”

“It’s true that I lied to you for weeks, but I never slept with Hailey before that night; we used to talk, just talk.” He replied, shaking his head and grabbing your chin gently, trying to look at you in the eyes.

“Do you really think I’m this stupid, Jay?” You spoke, shaking your head and trying to lower your gaze on the wound again. “And leave me, I need to look at the wound if you want to heal properly.”

Jay let go of your chin, sighing heavily and trying to think about what to say. How could he explain you what was happening in his head? How could he explain you for what reason he did what he did?

“I don’t think you’re stupid, y/n…” He whispered softly, looking at you when you finished putting stitches at him. “It’s true that we only talked for few weeks, I didn’t want to cheat on you, I didn’t plan it. I’m sorry, I really am because you don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve to suffer like you do, but you need to know what happened, so please listen to me…”

You didn’t want to listen to him, you didn't want to pay any attention to his words, you wanted to leave and you wanted to come back to New York City and forget about everything that happened here in Chicago, but you couldn’t leave without having a proper explanation. You spent weeks wondering with you had done wrong that brought him to cheat on you.

“Talk…” You spoke, while putting back the first-aid kid. “You have five minutes.”

“Working in the Intelligence is not easy as I want everyone to think… what you see on the streets…” He said, sadly. “I needed to talk about it, but I didn’t want to put all of this on you; I didn’t want to add my problems to yours, especially since I know that working at Chicago Med it’s not easy at all. I didn’t want to add all the problems of my job on you, I needed someone to talk and Hailey was there: she worked with me, she was my partner and she saw everything that I saw. I could talk about job with her and I could explain everything that came to my mind, but I never, never actually thought about cheating on you.” He said, looking at you in the eyes and placing a hand on your cheeks.

“Then why did you sleep with her? Why did you tell her that you loved her?” You whispered, not understanding why he slept with her if that was the truth.

“She kissed me and after that I don’t actually know what happened, it happened to fast. I know that I messed up everything and I have no excuses. That night I was with her because I tried to help a little girl that was kidnapped, but she was shot in front of me and she died in my arms. I was too shocked, it was too much, especially when I had to tell her parents that I couldn’t have save her.” He said, looking down at the floor. “When I told her that I loved her, I was actually thinking about you and, when we finished I… I couldn’t look at her… I came home and I was actually thinking about telling you everything the next morning, but you weren’t there. I was so worried that something bad happened to you that I was out of my mind.”

You listened to him carefully, then you got up and you cover your face behind your hands, confused. What was you supposed to do? Why didn’t he talk to you? Why did he choose Hailey over you? Was it real that he just talked to her for weeks? Was it real that he cheated on you just that night?

You didn’t know what to think, nor what to do, you just kept walking around the room, again and again.

“y/n…” He whispered softly, getting up and walking towards you. He wrapped his arms around your body and he hugged you gently. “I’m so sorry… please, tell me what I can do to gain your trust again. I still love you, y/n, and I can’t lose you. give me another chance and I will show you that I deserved it. Please.”

“I don’t know, jay… i… I don’t know!” You replied. “Let… let me think about it, okay?”

“Yes!” He said, smiling. “Yes, of course.”

Maybe there was still hope for them.

Maybe not everything was lost.

Maybe he could still repair everything.

Maybe he didn’t lose you, after all.

[crazybagelbitch]

“oh, good, you’re here! hold this.” + Mouse and Jay 💜

this is just straight up silly i'm sorry lmao

Mouse hears footsteps bounding down the stairs into his tech dungeon-- that's what Platt calls it-- and smiles. He knows those footsteps; only one member of Intelligence is willing to risk falling down the stairs like that.

Reckless idiot, Mouse thinks to himself affectionately.

"Oh, good, you're here!" Jay announces cheerfully, before handing him a box tied up with a bow, "hold this."

"Did I forget out anniversary...?"

Jay turns to him, patented glare of sass on his face, "Greg, we've been dating less than a year."

"Whose birthday did I forget then?"

"No one's," Jay sighs, rolling his eyes for show, "it's for Antonio."

"Why are you giving me--"

"Because he'll see it upstairs, and I'm waiting to give it to him at the end of the day," Jay states, as if he's obvious and it's Mouse's fault that he's not following. If it's not Antonio's birthday, why has Jay gotten him a gift? And why does it have to be hidden under his desk until the end of the day?

"It's no one's birthday... but it is the day someone is signing their divorce members."

Mouse chuckles despite himself, not wanting to encourage Jay's behavior but being too amused by it to try and fake having some higher moral ground.

"This box is full of alcohol, isn't it?"

"I love you!" Jay says playfully, winking and then kissing Mouse on the cheek, before bounding up the stairs much like how he had descended them--

--Except this time Mouse hears a crash and an "oww" about halfway up the staircase.

Sorry Antonio, Mouse thinks to himself, I might need to keep this.