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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 4 months ago

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Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Five)

Summary: This is Part Twenty-Two of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Injury Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, Team as Family, Kissing, Romance, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Friday

***

Jay

Jay scrubbed a hand down his face as Dr. Fredericks patiently waited for him to, you know, actually talk.

“You know what happened,” he began, figuring she’d at least heard through the grapevine if not directly from a few of her other first-responder patients. “With my sister and my brother.”

“I do.” Dr. Fredericks nodded. “But that doesn’t mean I know how you experienced it. I’d rather hear it in your own words.”

Rubbing a hand over his mouth, he slumped back in his chair, trying to gather his words. Dr. Fredericks waited. Infuriatingly patient, as always.

He couldn’t—he didn’t want to revisit that day. Any of it. But he knew the drill by now—knew he had to if there was any hope of getting a handle on it. The only way out was through and all that shit. Jay took a breath and tried to centre himself.

Slowly, haltingly, he told her everything. Every horrifying minute. Listening to the attack. Thinking that Bex—that she was dead before he could even get to her. Emery. And then Will. How he can’t stop hearing or seeing any of it whether he’s awake or asleep. How he’s trying to keep it together for Bex—trying to keep Bex together while she’s slowly falling apart before his eyes. Pretending she’s fucking fine.

Like any of them are.

They talked through his feelings of ‘misplaced’ guilt—Jay didn’t know if it would be possible to ever fully rid himself of that—and his extremely justified anger at Ty.

“I just—I want him gone,” Jay snapped out. “I don’t want him to ever be able to touch my family ever again. I’m doing everything I can think of to make that happen, but none of it feels like enough.”

Dr. Fredericks tilted her head at him. “What have you been doing?”

“I can’t work the case, obviously,” Jay said, still aggravated about that. “But I remembered my dash cam was on and it caught the phone call with Bex so I’ve handed that over. You can hear Ty pretty friggin’ clearly on that so it should help the prosecutors.” Detective Medeiros kept reminding him how huge a help that actually was.

“Mouse and I have been staying with her so I know there’s always someone there,” he continued. “But—”

“…but?” she prompted.

“We both have to start back at work on Monday,” Jay sighed. “They’re letting us switch our shifts around so at least one of us will be there—most of the time anyway, but I—I don’t know how I’m going to do it.”

“Return to work?”

“Leave Bex,” he said, shaking his head. “I tried to go for groceries on Wednesday and I-I had a panic attack in the parking lot of her building about leaving her alone. And Mouse was still there! I mean—I did it. I went. We needed food, but it…it was hard.”

“That’s understandable after a trauma like you’ve had,” Dr. Fredericks said. “Have you talked to Bex about your fears?”

“I don’t…no, no, I haven’t.” Jay sat up and grabbed the glass of water she’d set out for him. Gave his hands something to do. “Our oldest brother, Chris—he already had a talk with her along those lines this week.” Thankfully Chris had filled him in later because Bex hadn’t said a word. “I don’t—I don’t want to pile my shit on top of all that. I know she knows I’m worried about her. I keep checking on her while she’s ‘sleeping’—”

“Why the air quotes,” Dr. Fredericks cut in.

“Because I’m pretty sure she’s faking it,” he said, heart sinking all over again at the thought. “She went from waking us up with screaming nightmares to total silence in the span of a day. That doesn’t happen. But she’s resting, at least, and that was a huge fight to win.” His lips twisted in a wry smile. “One battle at a time, right?”

“That’s—”

“I know.” Jay held up a hand. “Something I need to talk about with her eventually, but I’ve been in her place, Doc. Hurt and in pain and knowing that there’s nothing you can do to speed up the process. It’s—it’s shitty and sleeping with broken ribs is actually pretty hard. I want to give her a bit of space…on that front, anyway.”

“Okay.” Dr. Fredericks levelled a look at him across the coffee table. “If talking to Bex is off the table, for now, what else do you think can be done to help you feel more comfortable with returning to work.”

Aside from removing Ty Anderson from the face of the planet? Jay blew out a breath as he wracked his brain, running through all of their plans and back up plans and—

“I think…I think we might be doing everything we can? To keep Bex safe, I mean.” He bobbed a little nod. “Aside from rolling her up in bubble wrap or something.”

“Which wouldn’t be good for her ribs,” Dr. Fredericks pointed out with a small smile. Jay popped a finger gun at her. “Fair point.” He let out a little laugh before sighing and running a hand over his face. “Can you just…tell me it’ll get easier at some point?”

“How long have we been seeing each other, Jay?”

“Couple of years,” he said, not bothering with the actual math. “Off and on.”

“So,” Dr. Fredericks said, not giving him an inch. “What do you think the answer to that is?”

Not easier.

Not ever really with the way their lives went, but eased. With time and a hell of a lot of work.

They all had a long road ahead of them.

*** Bex

Bex watched the numbers on her phone turn over and silenced the alarm as soon as it went off. Kol snuffled as he wiggled closer beside her and licked at her chin. She gave him a little scratch behind his ear.

“Good boy, Kol,” she said. “You did a good job.”

He’d snuck into her room on Tuesday night as Mouse was leaving and snuggled in beside her. Bex wasn’t about to turn him away and around one a.m., she was extra happy for that decision when he nudged her awake right as a nightmare was headed toward screaming out loud territory.

She did not need another night of waking up Mouse and Jay and having them burst into her room thinking she was fighting off an attack. Again.

Kol got plenty of treats for his help and now three nights in, they’d managed to keep up their little system. He woke her up before the nightmares got too bad. Mouse and Jay got more sleep—mostly. Jay kept checking on her, but she was pretty sure he was sleeping in between checks. She was only managing to get a couple of hours a night, but it wasn’t like she was exerting herself much throughout the day anyway.

The nightmares would fade at some point. They had to.

In the meantime, Operation Stop Worrying Your Whole Family was under way.

“Okay,” Bex said, pushing Kol away gently. “Time to get up and face the day.” She was workshopping times for how early she could come out of her room and not have Mouse look at her with that tiny little frown line between his eyebrows, asking her if she got enough sleep.

Seven a.m. and eight a.m. were not it. Maybe eight-thirty would be the magic number.

Bex grit her teeth as she leveraged herself out of bed, ribs screaming at her. Most of her body was still one giant bruise and moving, standing, or sitting—everything friggin’ hurt.

Slowly, but surely, she made her way toward her door. Taking a deep breath—ow, OW, ow—Bex pasted a smile onto her face and headed out into the hallway…

Into a quiet apartment.

Hunh.

Will’s bedroom door was open with no Jay inside—right. He was going to therapy this morning. Bex hoped the empty room meant he was following through with that and actually made his appointment. She’d overheard enough whispered conversations between him and Mouse to know they were both still beating themselves over what happened. Like any of the blame fell on them.

She crept out into the living room, shuffling along while Kol pranced beside her. With a bark, he shot ahead, nosing at the balcony door and she finally spotted Mouse sitting out there cross-legged.

“Oh, hey!” He turned around at the noise, scrambling to his feet as soon as he saw her. Sliding open the screen door, he stepped inside, scanning her face with worried eyes. That stupid frown line starting to form. “Did you get—”

“Hey! Good morning to you too,” she said, dragging that smile back out. “What were you doing out there?”

“Ah. I, uh—” Mouse rubbed at the back of his neck. Blushing. Bex’s smile suddenly felt a lot less forced.

“Mouse…” she teased, stepping closer. “Spill.”

“I was trying out a meditation thing that Lucy keeps recommending to me,” he blurted out. “Like a quiet-the-mind-relaxation-thing—”

Because he was stressed. About her. About all of this.

“Did it help?” She mentally crossed her fingers, already planning to send Lucy cookies if it had. Even a little bit.

“Oh, I didn’t—I actually got distracted watching some birds chase a squirrel in the parking lot,” Mouse confessed with a little snort. “I think they were playing? I hope they were, otherwise those were some mean birds.”

Bex laughed, doing her best to stifle the groan that followed as she pressed a hand against her side. Mouse’s face fell instantly.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He crowded into her space, hand hovering over hers, carefully not touching. “I shouldn’t make jokes. Are you okay—”

“I’m fine, I—I don’t want you to stop making jokes,” she said. “Ever, okay?” She stared at him until he met her eyes again. “Promise?”

Mouse held her gaze before sighing and dropping his forehead to press against hers. “Promise.”

“Good.” Bex moved forward to wrap her arms around him and snuggle into his chest. “Let’s try this again. Good morning.”

“Morning, Bex.” Gentle, gentle arms wrapped around her, holding her close. “How about I make you some breakfast?” Mouse asked hopefully.

Her stomach rolled at the thought and Bex hid her grimace into shirt. “Sure,” she said. “That sounds great.”

***

Connor

Will sighed as his care team left the room and Connor sat quietly beside him, holding his hand while they both absorbed the big news.

“Guess I can cancel the rescue squad,” Will said, cracking a grin despite the dark circles under his eyes.

Connor snorted. “Like Severide would bust you out of here and risk Bex coming down on him.”

“Hey—ugh.” Will’s face fell. “I almost made a joke about how now was the best time since she’s out of commission, but—”

“Too soon.” Connor shook his head and Will nodded solemnly.

“Way too soon,” he agreed. “Think she’ll be coming by today or should we call her with the good news? Oh, we gotta talk to Jay and Mouse about moving stuff around so I can have space to maneuver. Our apartment isn’t exactly wheelchair friendly.”

Dr. Allan was letting him take very short walks, but he had to be careful due to the severity and placement of his wound. He couldn’t stress his abdomen while it was still healing which meant lots of bed rest and using a wheelchair more often than not to get around. At least for the next few weeks.

And Will was right about his apartment. Seemed like it was time for the discussion Connor had been prepping for in his brain over the past few days.

“So,” he cleared his throat. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Mm?” Will glanced at him before continuing to type out a list on his phone, head shooting back up when he registered the serious look on Connor’s face. “What’s up?”

“I think that it would be best if you came home with me instead of your apartment,” Connor said, squeezing Will’s hand gently when he instantly started to argue. “Just—wait, please. Hear me out.”

Huffing out a breath, Will sank back against his pillows, the fight draining out of him as quickly as it had flared up. “Tell me.”

“My place is bigger,” Connor began. “You’ll have more room so you won’t have to worry about bumping into anything.”

“At least if I bump into anything at my place, I’ll know it didn’t cost five grand a cushion,” Will snarked and Connor raised an eyebrow at him.

“What happened to hearing me out?”

Will mimed zipping his lips, making Connor laugh softly as he rolled his eyes.

“Better.” He leaned in and took Will’s hand again. “There’s a ramp to the building and the elevator is solid.” Will and Bex’s place had two steps to get in and Connor had a disconcerting lack of confidence in the elevator. “I’ve got a walk-in shower,’ he continued, trying to hit all of the highlights right off the bat. “It’ll be easy to make it accessible and you can’t deny that my mattress is way better than yours.”

Using his free hand to unzip his lips, Will said, “…I do love your mattress.”

Connor knew that would be a point in his favour.

“I know the biggest issue is that you want to be back with Bex,” he said and Will nodded. “But this would just be temporary and like you said, she’s trying to recover too. Jay and Mouse are there. They’ve got her covered. And I’m pretty sure they won’t be leaving anytime soon so five people trying to operate in your apartment is a recipe for disaster.”

“Five?” Will’s face scrunched up in confusion. Connor fought off the urge to sigh.

“Yes, babe, five,” he said. “You think I’m not going to be with you for every step of your recovery, no matter where you’re staying? I already talked to Goodwin about taking a leave.”

“Con…”

“Out of everything, that is the one thing that’s non-negotiable. I mean it.” Connor blinked back tears as his breath caught. “You don’t—you don’t know what it was like, Will. You got shot. Right in front of me—I was—you almost bled out in my arms. I thought you were going to die, that I was going to lose you and I couldn’t—” He swiped a hand over his cheeks, shaking his head. “It was the worst day of my life and I just…I don’t want to let you out of my sight for a little while, okay? Is that—will you let me do that? Please?”

Will opened his arms as Connor’s voice broke on those last words, letting Connor sink into them—carefully—and they held each other until Will whispered, “Okay.”

Connor sat back up, searching his face for any hint of doubt or reluctance, but he was smiling softly at Connor through teary eyes. “Are you sure?”

“You’re right about all of it,” Will said, chewing on his lip as he considered his next words. “Your space is a better set-up, but more importantly, I think it would be best for us to be together in that space. Mouse and Jay have Bex covered and we can still visit and like you said, it’s temporary. I’m not letting Jay steal Bex as a roomie now. He had his chance.”

Relief flooded through Connor as a week’s worth of tension just…disappeared. “That’s—thank you, babe.” He leaned in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Will said, quirking an eyebrow at him. “I’m calling dibs ‘not it’ on telling Bex about this.”

Connor sat back in his chair with a thump.

Well.

Shit.

***

Jay

Jay walked out of the doctor’s office and blinked at the sight of Voight and Olinsky standing next to his truck. His heart dropped.

What now?

“What’s going on?” he called out as he jogged over. “What happened? Is—”

“Bex, Will, and Emery are all fine,” Voight said, cutting off his immediate worries. “There’s nothing wrong with your family or the team, but we do need to talk.”

“Not here,” Olinsky added.

They both looked grim and Jay had about a thousand questions, but all he asked was, “Where?”

Voight jerked a nod at his truck. “Follow us.” He stalked off toward his vehicle without another word, assuming Jay would follow as ordered. He’d promised Bex and Mouse he’d be back right after his appointment, but something was clearly going down and Jay didn’t want to be out of the loop. Whatever it was, it was serious enough for them to track him down at his therapist’s office.

He shuddered to think of how many privacy laws they’d violated to do that.

Jay got in his truck and followed them out of the lot, bracing himself for whatever shit was coming their way now.

***

Hank

Al was silent beside him as they drove toward one of the abandoned industrial yards that Hank preferred for meetings like this.

Silent and yet incredibly loud in his judgment.

“Spit it out,” Hank growled.

“Is this really the right way to play it?” Al sighed.

“I’m not going to risk someone else breaking the news,” he shot back. “We need to catch him off-guard. See his face.”

“You don’t actually think he had anything to do with it.” Al turned and Hank could see him staring at him out of the corner of his eye.

“I hope not,” Hank said slowly. “But I also know we’re all capable of almost anything when someone threatens our family. And I think I have to see his face to know for sure.”

They rolled along the cracked pavement of the empty warehouse yard with Halstead pulling in close behind. He slammed the door of his truck as he got out, striding over to stand with vibrating impatience as he waited for them to join him.

“What the hell is this about?”

Hank waited until he was right in front of him. Eye to eye. “Ty Anderson is dead.”

Halstead blinked, unmistakable shock crossing his face. Unfiltered.

Good.

“What the—when? How?”

“Stabbed,” Al piped up. “Tuesday night. They did an internal investigation that came up as ‘fucked around and found out.’ Which tracks.” He shrugged. “Detective Medeiros only found out about it last night and came knocking on our door this morning.”

“She said he was found in section of the prison where the cameras were on the fritz,” Hank said, still watching Halstead carefully. “Nobody saw anything. Nobody heard anything. He bled out before he was found.” He waited a beat. “She wanted to know if we’d heard anything.”

Halstead narrowed his gaze. “Asked me what you dragged me out here to ask me.”

“We just want to know if anybody’s gonna hear something,” Hank said, crossing his arms as he stared right back. “Better to do clean up now than be caught with our pants down later.”

Closing his eyes, Halstead shook his head as he took a deep breath. “What?” he demanded, shooting a glare at both of them. “You think I had something to do with this? Ordered a hit?”

Hank shrugged. “Wouldn’t blame you.”

“If I was going to kill him,” Halstead snarled, jabbing a finger at him. “I would have done it that day. At Emery’s. He’s fucking lucky Hailey was there to stop me.” He shook his head and let out a harsh breath. “No,” he said, a little bit more even this time. “I wouldn’t—I didn’t have anything to do with it…but I hope whoever did? Made it hurt.”

The crime scene photos flashed through Hank’s mind. “You got your wish there, kid.”

Halstead went quiet for a moment. Calculating. “…was it you?”

The thought had crossed his mind. Briefly, hours later in the aftermath, when he’d met the sunrise in his kitchen with a bottle of scotch at his side. He knew enough people, had enough money, and was owed enough favours to make it happen.

But Al had shown up, tugged the bottle out of his hand and halted his silent plans with a quiet word. She wouldn’t want that. Don’t put it on her.

“No,” Hank said, meeting Halstead with a steady look of his own. “None of us.”

Halstead nodded, relaxing minutely before flinging out a hand. “Then who?”

“Guy like Ty,” Al said. “The possibilities are endless.”

***

Statesville Correctional Center

Peters

Nathaniel Peters had worked at Statesville for the better part of twenty years and has crossed paths with all kinds of inmates. Mean ones, innocent ones, friendly, scared, pissed off…

All kinds.

But only one had ever truly unnerved him.

Robert Forrest. Or Ramsay as he was better known as. His crimes of record were hacking and embezzlement, but the cops and the feds and the rest of the suits had no idea who they were really dealing with. The other criminals did though and Peters had heard all of those rumours. Witnessed enough violent outbursts to believe them.

Most of the more violent residents at Statesville had a kind of anger that Peters could understand. A rage that burned hot and fast, leaving a path of destruction before flaming out. It passed.

Ramsay. He was nothing but rage. A constant fire that burned cold. Controlled. He wielded his anger like a knife and there was no running once he had you in his sights. The hunt was all part of the game for him. It didn’t matter if he did the killing or if he paid one of his many pawns. As long as there was blood in the end, he was happy.

Peters was very invested in keeping Ramsay happy.

The guard before him had already up and ‘quit’ abruptly. Ramsay paid the warden well enough that he had the run of the place. The way Peters saw it, he might as well play nice and earn his extra money while he could. Stay on Ramsay’s good side…such as it was.

As soon as he had enough for that little fishing hut down in Florida, he was out of here.

In the meantime, he’d be the best damn pawn in Ramsay’s arsenal.

Knocking on the door of Ramsay’s cell, he waited for permission before sliding open the window. “Some detective’s asking questions,” Peters said. “But the warden has it handled.”

“And Mitchell?”

“Says thank you for the bonus,” Peters said, holding back a snort. The other guard jumped on the job as soon as it was offered. Didn’t hurt that he’d been itching to deal with Anderson since day one. “He’s waiting until the questions die down before taking his early retirement. Everything’s holding up so far. Nothing to tie back to him.” Ramsay hummed, pleased. “I do appreciate tidy work.” There was a pause before his face suddenly appeared in the window, taking everything Peters had not to flinch.

“Do you think she’ll be pleased?” Ramsay asked, eyes wide and unsettlingly earnest.

“Who—”

“My songbird, you idiot,” Ramsay hissed. “My Bex. Do you think she’ll like her gift?”

“Y-yeah,” Peters managed to get out. “I think she’ll be real grateful.”

Ramsay backed away from the door with another little hum. “Good. Maybe I should send her some more flowers. To help her recuperate.”

“I’ll get right on that,” Peters said as he slid the window closed. He shuddered as he walked back down the hall. He might be a coward and a pawn…

But at least he wasn’t Ramsay’s girl.

***

Jay

Grateful felt like the wrong word when someone had been murdered—even someone like Ty—but Jay wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t relieved.

Ty was gone.

He could never touch his family ever again.

For the first time in a week, Jay felt like he could actually breathe.

“What now?” he asked Voight.

“Detective Medeiros gave us permission to let the most important people know so that’s where we’re headed next,” Voight said, jerking his chin at Jay. “We were going to hit 51, Med, and then your place. Coming with?”

“Yeah,” Jay nodded. “Definitely.” He needed to be there for this. To let Emery, Will, and Bex know they were safe.

No matter how it happened, that part he truly was grateful for.

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3 [A/N - please do click over to read on ao3 because there are some important notes at the end of the chapter to read]:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @lookingfortherainbow85

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ao3feed-chicagofire · 5 years ago

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Love Will Find Its Way

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xB2MWW

by Respecttheboss25

After 4 months of working alongside her team Lataiah realizes she's not in love with the person she thought she was. She also comes to the realization that not all of the government officials are who they say they are. And there's a whole other group of mutants that she didn't know about. Also when three abused teenagers come to live with her and her team, Lataiah finds out that she either is going to have kick them out into the streets again or learn parenting real quick.

Words: 737, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of To Look A Wolf In The Eye

Fandoms: Chicago PD (TV), Chicago Med, Chicago Fire, Law & Order: SVU, The Mentalist, X-Men (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage

Categories: F/M

Characters: Original Female Character(s), Hank Voight, Antonio Dawson, Adam Ruzek, Alvin Olinsky, Jay Halstead, Erin Lindsay, Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz, Will Halstead, Hailey Upton, Kevin Atwater, Kim Burgess, Olivia Benson, Original Male Character(s), Logan (X-Men), Patrick Jane, Original Male Dog Character(s), Sylvie Brett, Gabriela Dawson, Matthew Casey, Nick Fury, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Jean Grey, Charles Xavier, Ororo Munroe, Scott Summers, Teresa Lisbon, Kimball Cho, Wayne Rigsby, Grace Van Pelt, Erik Lehnsherr

Relationships: Hank Voight/Original Female Character(s), Antonio Dawson/Original Female Character(s), Sylvie Brett/Antonio Dawson, Jay Halstead/Erin Lindsay, Adam Ruzek & Original Female Character(s), Kevin Atwater & Hailey Upton & Kim Burgess, Matthew Casey/Gabriela Dawson

Additional Tags: Hank Voight Is In Love, Hailey Upton Needs a Hug, The Author Couldn't Think of a Title, Good Parent Logan (X-Men), Patrick Jane is a Trouble Maker Still, Alternate Universe, Young Charles and Erik, Vaginal Sex, Shower Sex

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xB2MWW

#chicago fire #chicago fire fanfic #ao3feed #fanfic

0 notes

herrmannhalsteadproduction · 7 months ago

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Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Three)

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Chapter One Chapter Two

Chapter Three

You have ONE new message.

“Hey, man, it’s Ed. Sorry for the early call, just wanted to check in. I know you had your hands full getting Bex settled back in at home last night and you couldn’t make it out to the meeting, but we haven’t had a chance to talk really since everything, well…since everything. I know it’s been rough and you’re focused on Bex—and rightfully so, I get it. I just—listen, don’t forget yourself in all of this. It’s a lot to be dealing with and me and Chuck and everybody, we’re here for you, okay, Mouse? If you need to talk or have a break or whatever…we’re here…Okay. That’s all I got. Talk to you soon, bud. Count on it.”

To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press NINE.

Are you still there?

To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press—

Message saved.

***

Mouse

“Let’s negotiate, shall we?”

Mouse could’ve almost bought Bex’s cocky offer if she wasn’t currently relying on the wall to keep herself upright. And the fact that she was turning an alarming shade of gray just from trying to walk to the elevator.

This was not going to end well.

Jay, like he’d heard Mouse’s thought and accepted it as a personal challenge, went on the offense as he shouldered past to get to Bex. “Negotiate? No, uh-uh,” he said, thrusting a hand out towards her. “Gimme your keys and we’re getting you back inside to rest.”

“Jay—”

“Quit arguing. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Will you please just listen to me for one second,” Bex yelled, pressing a hand to her forehead as she closed her eyes. She took a shaky breath before opening them again. “I can’t stay here knowing that Will’s having a hard time and that Emery is—that they’re waking her up soon.”

Jay sighed. “You going there won’t help—”

“Stop! I know! Okay? I know I can’t actually do anything for Will and that Connor has him covered, but Emery—” Bex’s eyes filled with tears and Mouse found himself moving before he had a chance to second guess himself.

He ducked around Jay and stepped into Bex’s space, slowly, giving her a chance to wave him off. Instead, she let out a soft noise and swayed toward him, dropping her forehead to his chest.

Mouse carefully brought his arms up around her and she mumbled something. “Say that again?” he asked quietly.

“I need to be there.” Bex turned her head so they could hear her and whatever her face was doing had Jay’s falling. “What if it was one of you? Wouldn’t you want to be there? So that when they woke up, they’d know that they’re safe?”

Jay met his eyes over Bex’s head and Mouse knew they were both thinking of the same moment.

Of Jay on a cot in a tent in the middle of nowhere and Mouse pushing through medics so he could be by his side. He would have fought through anyone to be there.

Knew in his bones Jay would have done the same.

Jay cursed softly under his breath, shoulders dropping as he dragged a hand over his face. They waited as he fought whatever internal battle he had to get through before he shook his head and shrugged. “None of us can go anywhere without shoes and actual clothes.” He made a ‘gimme’ gesture at Bex’s bag. “Keys.”

She handed it over wordlessly and he dug through until he found them, moving to open the front door. “We’re gonna get in so much shit for this,” he grumbled. “No, Kol, back up. You’re in trouble too, mister. Chris is gonna ground every single friggin’ one of us.”

Mouse and Bex followed him into the apartment as he kept muttering to himself, heading back toward the bathroom. “No one’s allowed to try and escape again while I’m in here,” he called out before closing the door.

“Bossy,” Mouse mouthed at Bex, hoping it would make her smile. She granted him a small one before it faded away into a frown.

“I’m being stupid, aren’t I?” Bex looked up at him with wide, wet eyes. “I’m sor—”

“Hey, no, don’t do that,” Mouse said as he pulled her into another gentle hug. “You’re not being stupid—you were right. I’d be doing the exact same thing if I was in your shoes. Or socks I should say.” She shook with a muffled laugh and he counted that as a win. “Yeah, maybe trying to sneak out was not one of your better plans, but I get it, Bex. I do.”

He let her go and tugged on one of the strings of his hoodie hanging over her shoulders. “This your special escapee outfit?”

“It’s cozy,” she sniffed at him, mouth twitching up at the corners. “And it matches my socks.”

“In that case, you should probably keep it.”

That got him a real, true Bex smile. “I don’t remember offering to give it back.”

“What is this?” Jay came hustling out of the bathroom, fully dressed finally. “Still no shoes? You just standing out here making heart eyes at each other?” He huffed as he hopped around pulling on his own shoes. “Kol, I thought you were supposed to be in charge?”

Kol popped up from where he’d been lounging on the couch and let out a little howl. Jay held up his hands in apology. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s more than a one-dog job.”

“You’re so ridiculous,” Bex said, laughing a bit as she stepped away from Mouse. “I’m getting them—oh—” Her eyelids fluttered as she tilted dangerously to the side.

“Whoa!” Jay leapt into action beside him. They both steadied her from either side and carefully maneuvered her over to sit on the couch, Kol whining as he wiggled back to make room. “I was just joking,” Jay said softly as he crouched down in front of her. “There’s no rush. We’ve got plenty of time.”

“No, I’m good, I’m fine.” Bex listed again as she tried to get up. “We can go right now.”

“Let’s take a minute anyway,” Mouse said. At this rate, they’d be taking her to the hospital to be readmitted. “I think maybe we need to get some more food and fluids into you?”

Bex grimaced, sinking back into the couch. “I would really like to not yak today.”

Mouse sent Jay a look that he hoped said ‘I’m here to help and be supportive and do what I can, but also, I’m the boyfriend and I refuse to be bad cop so that’s all you, dude.’

And then Jay sent him a look that clearly said ‘Fuck you, dude, but fine, whatever.’

Excellent communication. Go team.

Jay got to his feet with a groan, crossing his arms as he stared Bex down. “You’re going to have something else to eat, then another rest, and then we’ll go.” He held up a finger before she could open her mouth. “I already checked in with Connor and Kira while I was getting dressed. Will’s getting patched up again, but he’s going to be absolutely fine. They said this kind of thing happens and they caught it early so no one is worried. And Kira said the doctors don’t expect Emery to start waking up properly for at least another few hours. At least.”

He lowered his hand, the stern lines in his face softening. “I’m saying we’ve got time for you to take care of yourself, Bex,” he said. “Take a few hours so you can handle a proper visit, okay?”

“…fine,” Bex sighed.

“Awesome, I’ll get some of that soup reheated,” Jay said before turning to Kol. “Keep her on the couch, bud.”

Kol barked once before snuggling into Bex’s side.

“Ha ha, you’re all hilarious.” Bex immediately started giving Kol pets, even as she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, Jay’s got soup,” Mouse said, pressing a kiss to Bex’s head before straightening up. “I’ll get drinks and maybe some more toast.” He was good at toast.

Jay punched his arm on the way to the kitchen.

“Ah, hey, what was that for?”

“You know exactly what that was for.”

Fair.

***

Bex

Bex had almost forgotten how much of a Mama Chicken Jay could be. Like, rivaling Chris levels. Once she got over being annoyed, she’d probably be impressed.

After the food and fluids and the intense efforts at not puking and then the pretending to be resting, it was late afternoon by the time they finally made it to Med. According to Connor, Will was still sleeping so they went to Emery’s floor first.

Kira came out as soon as she saw them in the hall, a wide smile on her face. “Bex,” she whispered as she wrapped her up in a hug. “You’re here!” The smile dropped as she pulled away, looking between her and Mouse and Jay. “Why are you here? You’re supposed to be resting. And healing. And not rambling around the hospital.”

She shot a pointed look at Mouse and Jay who both held their hands up.

“Listen,” Jay began and Bex stepped in.

“I made them bring me,” she said, reaching out to grab Kira’s hand. “I had to—I needed to be here.” Bex took a deep breath. “How’s she doing?”

“Really well,” Kira said, squeezing her hand back. “Her stats keep improving and she’s already opened her eyes a couple of times. Had a bit of water. She falls back asleep like, immediately, so you haven’t missed much, but…it’s good, Bex. She’s good.”

And oh—that—

That had Bex choking back a sob as she peered over Kira’s shoulder into the room. “That’s really—”

“Good?” Kira offered with an equally watery grin.

“Yeah,” Bex nodded. “Can I—is it okay if I sit with her?”

“Why are you even asking? Come on.” Kira ushered her inside and got her set up in the chair beside Emery’s bed before leaving the room. She moved to sit in the lounge with Mouse and Jay—close enough to be there if they were needed, but still giving her some privacy.

Bex shuffled forward a bit in her chair and reached out to take Emery’s hand. “Hey,” she whispered. “It’s me again. I know—I can’t get enough of this place, right?”

The monitors beeped quietly around them. Bex focused on the rise and fall of Emery’s chest and the soft hiss of air as she breathed under the mask.

There was a hint of colour coming back into her cheeks.

That was good.

All of this is good, Bex reminded herself. It means she’s still alive. She’s healing.

“I’ve been back at the apartment,” she said, watching Emery’s face for any kind of movement. “Chris wanted me to go home to their place, but, uh—I’m—I’m at our place and Jay and Mouse are staying with me. They made this really…sort of unidentifiable, but also kind of delicious soup.” Bex laughed quietly. “I should freeze some so you can try it.”

Emery’s fingers twitched in hers.

“Em?” Bex’s breath caught in her throat. “Hey, I’m here. It’s Bex. I’m right here. Open your eyes, Emery. It’s okay.”

A soft groan made its way through the mask as Emery slowly blinked her eyes to halfway open. “Be—”

“Yes, hi, it’s me. It’s Bex.” She struggled her way out of the chair, ignoring the ripples of pain in her side so she could lean over Emery and be in her line of sight. “I’m right here, Emery.”

Emery reached up, patting at Bex’s cast. “You’re…hurt,” she whispered.

“Only a little,” Bex said. The tears filling her eyes started to spill over as pure relief flowed through her. Emery was awake. She was talking. She was here.

“Bex.” Emery gripped her hand, cheeks wet with her own tears. “Bex. Sorr—”

“Don’t you dare,” Bex said fiercely, leaning in close. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, Emery Hughes or I will—I don’t know, but it’ll be drastic. This is not your fault. It’s his and we’re not giving him any space in here right now, okay? Because we are here. We made it. We’re alive and we’re going to be okay. That’s what matters. Do you hear me?”

Emery stared up at her, a whole battle clearly raging in her own head, but it wasn’t time for that. Not yet.

“We’re here,” Bex repeated, willing the words into Emery’s heart. “We’re alive. And we’re gonna be okay.”

“Okay,” Emery finally whispered.

“Exactly.” Bex smiled, moving back carefully to sit down again, but still close.

“Wait.” Emery frowned and Bex froze.

“What’s wrong? Should I get a nurse?”

“Mouse,” Emery said, somehow managing to raise an eyebrow through her still mostly out of it state. “…moved in?”

“That’s the part you heard?” Bex groaned out a laugh.

“Details.” Emery whispered.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bex said, squeezing Emery’s hand gently. “I’ll tell you the whole not-actually exciting story when you wake up.”

Because Bex would still be there.

She didn’t think she could leave until it really sunk in.

Emery was here. She was alive.

And she was going to be okay.

“Promise?” Emery mumbled, already mostly back asleep.

“Yeah, Em,” Bex said. “I promise.”

***

Jay

Jay sat beside Mouse in the lounge, keeping a clear view of Bex sitting with Emery in the ICU. He still wasn’t sure if bringing her here was the best idea. Bex looked like a light breeze could knock her over and Emery probably wasn’t even going to remember this visit.

But Bex would.

And if it helped her settle and let her focus more on her own recovery, then wasn’t that a good thing?

That was the argument he was going to offer Chris anyway when he inevitably found out about this and tore a strip off of him. In the very kind and yet gut-wrenching way that only Chris seemed to manage.

Mouse elbowed him suddenly and Jay looked up to see Dr. Abrams striding toward them.

Oh.

Crap.

“Gentlemen,” Dr. Abrams said, arms folded as he stared down at them in a way that almost had Jay shrinking back into his seat. “I’m only going to ask this question once. Why do I see Ms. Herrmann sitting in the ICU when she is supposed to be at home? Resting. Which was doctor’s orders, I believe.”

Jay shot a look at Mouse who was giving him that same ‘not it’ look from the living room which was even less helpful now than it was then.

“Okay, um,” Jay began. “I can explain…”

“Oh, good,” Chris said, popping up out of freaking nowhere with that very distinct look on his face that Jay had been picturing since Bex tried to make a break for it and it was exactly as awful as he thought it would be. “Because, I gotta say, Jay, I would also love to hear how this happened.”

“First of all,” Jay said, stalling, trying to figure out where to start, maybe panicking a little bit. “It’s also Mouse’s fault.”

“Dude.”

Click here to read Chapter Four. Click here to read Chapter Five.

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @thebejeweledwatercat, @lookingfortherainbow85

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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 8 months ago

Text

Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter One)

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Chapter One

Monday, August 31st, 2015

Sam

Dr. Fredericks sat in the cushy armchair across from him; the picture of calm compared to Sam’s jiggling knee and hands that didn’t seem to know what to do with themselves.

“Why don’t you tell me why you’re here, Officer Kent,” she began. That was probably supposed to be some kind of a soft lob of an opener, but god, what a loaded question.

“Well, uh—” Sam took a shaky breath. “Sergeant Platt said that, uh, the department had someone for people to talk to after—after tough calls and that I might want to consider it. And that…”

Dr. Fredericks nodded gently. “And?”

“She said that walking in on a scene like that—you saw the file, right?” Sam slumped back in relief at her nod. He knew they’d be going over it all eventually, but knowing that she’d read it made starting this conversation that much easier. “She said walking into a scene like that is hard enough, but it’s that much worse when—when your loved ones are involved. Your family.”

He swallowed hard against the painfully fresh memories of that day.

“She said it wasn’t required or anything and maybe I was fine, but, uh—” Sam gripped at the armrests of his chair, hoping that would make his hands stop shaking. “But in her experience, it could be helpful and I talked to my partners about it and we all thought it would be a good idea for me to try because—because I’m not.”

“You’re not what, Sam?” The question was asked so softly, he could almost forgive it for how thoroughly it was cracking him open.

“I’m not fine,” he choked out. “None of us are and it feels like—like we never will be again.”

“What constitutes as fine is always a bit of a moving target after a trauma like you and your family have been through,” she said.

Images of Emery in her hospital bed flashed through his brain.

Still going through, really.

“Being willing to talk about it is a good first step,” Dr. Fredericks continued. “And not an easy one, either. You might not be okay right now, Sam, but be proud of yourself for that.”

He jerked his chin in a nod, not trusting himself to speak as he let that sink in.

A first step.

One of many, probably.

Shit.

Okay.

“So, how, uh—how do we do this?”

***

Will

It was early, seven am or so, but time never really meant much in a hospital anyway. The sounds of people bustling around in the hallway was muffled slightly by the door.

And by the snores coming from Jay on the couch.

Connor had left a few minutes ago to check in on Emery. Bex was asleep in the bed beside him—a bit restless, but that was better than what he’d seen of her every time he’d woken up throughout the night. The stomach issue side effects of a concussion were hitting her hard.

Chris and Mouse were sitting in chairs beside her, talking quietly. Probably trying to make plans since she was scheduled to be discharged today.

Will was not.

And look—he was a doctor! He understood all of the hows and whys of this, but holy hell was he already tired of staying in bed and resting.

He was tired.

He was in pain which was also pissing him off.

…and he was really thirsty.

Will snuck another glance at Mouse and Chris, but they both looked exhausted and very wrapped up in their intense little conversation.

Jay was still completely sacked out.

His cup was right there on the bedside table. He knew there was water in it. Connor had poured some for him before he left.

It wasn’t that far. Will could reach it…if he stretched…carefully…just a little bit more and maybe if he twisted—

There was a little pop as a ripple of pain went through Will’s abdomen. He looked down to see a small patch of red bloom through his hospital gown.

Well, shit.

***

Jay

No one was allowed to say anything about Jay being a bad patient ever again.

Ever.

“Stay in bed means stay in bed, Dr. Halstead,” Jenna, their nurse for the day chastised Will as she finished administering his medication. “You know that better than most patients.”

“I was just trying to get my cup,” Will began, cut off by Jay’s snort.

“There’s three people in here who could’ve grabbed it for you, man,” Jay said. “You didn’t have to pop a stitch—”

“Two stitches,” Connor piped up from where he was sprawled in the arm chair, eyes half closed as his head lolled against the arm rest.

Jenna flashed two fingers at Will with a pointed look.

“Right,” Jay said. “Two stitches. They’re gonna take your doctor cred if you keep this up.”

“It’s actually pretty on brand for doctors,” Jenna muttered.

“I know! Okay? I’m sorry.” Will slumped back against his pillows with a wince. “I’ll be more careful.” He gave Jenna a contrite little grin that actually seemed to work on her. “I promise.”

“We’ll be holding you to that,” she said, smiling back at him. “Now rest.”

Will raised his arm to give her a salute, only to lower it quickly, curling his hand into a fist as he hissed. “Ow.”

Idiot. Jay barely managed to hold back an affectionate snort. He and Jenna had to maintain a united front.

Jenna shook her head, shooting a glance at Jay as she headed out the door. “Keep an eye on him, will you?”

Jay managed to knock off an actual salute, ignoring the sneaky middle finger Will was giving him. “You’re getting me in trouble with the nurses,” he whispered at Will. “Aren’t we supposed to be trying to stay on their good side?”

“Yes,” Will and Connor replied in unison.

“So, no more messing around, okay?” He pointed a stern finger at Will who nodded sheepishly.

Seriously. He was so much worse than Jay had ever been. At least Bex was behaving herself.

Although that might be the concussion.

Jay frowned to himself, peeking at the other side of the room where Chris was talking with Bex while Mouse hovered close by. His radar started pinging at how serious they both looked.

“Psst.” Will motioned for him to come closer and Jay made his way around to the left side of the bed. Will ‘pssst’d at him again so he leaned in a bit.

“Jay.” Will looked up at him with wide, definitely drugged up eyes.

“Yes, Will.”

“Pass me my cup?”

Jay shook his head at the sound of smothered laughter coming from Connor’s chair. “Yes, I’ll pass you your friggin’ cup,” he said. “I’ll even put more water in it for you.”

“Thank you, Jay.”

He watched to make sure Will didn’t spill all over the place before taking the cup back and returning it to the bedside table.

“Chris, you’re not listening to me!” Bex’s raised voice caught both of their attention.

“I am, but you’re not thinking straight—”

A groan from Bex cut him off as she closed her eyes, rubbing at her forehead. “Just stop.”

“Hey.” Jay made his way over to their side of the room. “What’s going on?”

“Bex’s being stubborn,” Chris sighed and Mouse exchanged an uneasy look with Jay behind his back.

“I’m not—” Bex took a shuddery breath and started again. “I just want to go home, Chris.”

“You can’t,” he said, gearing himself up. “Not alone. You’re in no shape to take care of yourself. We can move the kids around temporarily and get you set up—”

“No!”

Chris jerked back at Bex’s tone and Jay stepped closer to the bed, making room for Connor to come and join their little huddle.

Bex looked up at the four of them, tears forming in her eyes as she let out a frustrated huff. “I just—I can’t—”

Jay crouched down beside her, reaching out to take her hand in his. “Whatever you need, we’ll make it work.”

“…I don’t want the kids to see me like this,” she whispered. Chris deflated, as gut-punched by her words as the rest of them. Jay understood. She—she looked rough still. Almost worse now that all of her bruises were blooming across her skin. “And I love you guys, Chris, but I need to be in my own space. My own bed. I’ll be okay. I can—”

Jay made eye contact with Mouse and knew without a word they were on the same page. “Mouse and I will stay with her,” he said. “We can talk to Voight and do whatever we need to make our schedules work so that one of us is always there.”

“Don’t you need to be here with Will?” Chris asked, shaking his head, already dismissing the idea. “Connor’ll need help—”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure I can handle him on my own.” Connor jerked a thumb over at Will who was completely passed out and drooling on his pillow. He grinned when that got a little giggle out of Bex. “We’ve got people here who can help out,” Connor said. “Jenna’s probably going to tie him down at some point so that’ll make things easy.”

“I know you’re joking,” Jay said. “But I think she actually might.”

“Oh, I’m only like, fifty percent joking about that,” Connor laughed. “But I’m serious about it being fine. We’ll be okay.”

“Okay, okay, fine,” Chris said, raising his hands in surrender. “If you can make sure someone’s always there, I’ll trust you and leave you to it. But—” He pointed a stern finger at Jay, Mouse, and then Bex. “Cindy and I’ll be stopping by regularly. No arguments about that.”

“No arguments,” Bex agreed.

“Alright.” Chris slapped at his knees as he stood. “Let’s break you out of this joint.”

***

Chris

Chris left the room under the excuse of tracking down Bex’s discharge paperwork, but ducked down the first quiet hallway he found. He tried to take a slow and steady breath as he leaned against the wall, but it came out in one harsh exhale.

Christ.

He pressed his palms against his eyes and cursed at himself. Get it together, Herrmann.

Bex was the one who went through a trauma. He had to respect her needs—respect her choices—even if the thought of not being able to keep an eye on her 24/7 until every one of those horrific bruises faded away made him feel like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

He rubbed at his face, swiping away any evidence of tears. He could be okay with this because this was Jay and Mouse they were talking about. They were probably going to be even bigger…what was it Bex and Jay always say?

Mama chickens.

Chris chuckled to himself as he straightened up, shaking his head.

Right. Jay and Mouse were going to be huge mama chickens about this and he and Cindy could check in as often as they needed.

Which he would be doing with that key that Bex gave him when she first moved it.

So there.

His brain settled as numerous plans for check-ins and meal drop-offs began to form. Maybe he could talk Cindy into making a spreadsheet or something. Chris nodded. Yeah, they could make this work.

But first, the promised discharge papers.

He set off with renewed purpose, ready to get the ball rolling on his promise to spring Bex.

***

Bex

Jay left shortly after Chris, saying something about packing up enough stuff to stay at Bex’s for awhile and promising to stop by Mouse’s place to grab some things for him as well.

She waved him off and settled back against her pillows, trying not to wince as she was well aware of the two sets of eyes still on her.

“Hey.” Mouse pulled up a chair and sat beside her. “Are you okay with this plan?” he asked quietly. “We kind of steamrollered you there.”

“No, it’s good,” she said. “I just—I can’t be at Chris and Cindy’s, but Chris is right. I probably shouldn’t be alone. If you and Jay don’t mind—”

“Not even a little bit.” Mouse jumped right in with that. He reached out to squeeze the fingers the were poking out of her cast. “I’m glad, uh, you—thank you for letting us. For letting us help.”

“Will, no—” Connor’s voice cut through their moment. “Let me get your cup. You are ridiculous. Don’t make those eyes.”

Bex met Mouse’s eyes and they both barely managed to push back their giggles.

“Hey,” Mouse whispered, leaning in. “Can I sign your cast?” He pulled a black Sharpie out of his pocket and waggled it at her.

“Where'd you get that?”

He grinned. “I have my ways.”

“Okay, keep your secrets.” Bex stretched her arm out along the bed. “Have at it.”

She closed her eyes, listening to him hum softly as the marker scratched over her hard cast. They’d finally put it on last night after another round of being poked and prodded and scanned. They weren’t worried about her internal bleeding anymore—yay—but her concussion symptoms were rearing their ugly head.

Chris and Cindy had picked up a pile of delicious food and she hadn’t been able to eat any of it. Her stomach was off. Everything tasted weird and gross. Jay even went and grabbed her more French fries, but she couldn’t even make it through one bite.

It was like, everything from Friday to Sunday felt so unreal and now reality was creeping back in, sharpening everything up, and Bex was completely weighed down.

By pain and exhaustion and all of the medication and now freaking nausea. She couldn’t wait to go home to her own bed and, well, probably continue to have crap sleeps, but at least it would be quieter and comfier there.

“There.” She opened her eyes to see Mouse capping the marker and gesturing at her cast with a proud flourish. On the inside of her wrist was a doodle of a tiny mouse.

“I love it,” Bex said and he quirked his little grin at her.

“Okay, campers,” Chris said, charging back into the room. “It’s go time.”

“Finally,” Will sighed and both Chris and Connor were on him in a flash.

“Not you,” Chris said, shaking his head.

“If you move from that bed,” Connor began. “I swear—”

“Jeez, can’t a guy make a joke?” Will help up his hands.

“Probably would have landed better two stitches ago,” Mouse said.

“Now that,” Chris grinned, pointing at Mouse. “That’s a joke.”

“You guys are jerks,” Will grumbled. “Bex, remember me when you’re on the outside.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute when you pout,” Connor said. He leaned in to kiss Will’s forehead, giving him another on the lips when he tilted his face up for more. “Now cut it out.”

Will didn’t stop pouting, but at least he stayed in bed while Mouse and Chris helped Bex out of hers. Cindy had already helped her get cleaned up and dressed earlier that morning. She was definitely going to have to figure out some kind of system for that once she got home.

Moving slowly, because wow walking didn’t feel that great, she made her way over to Will and gave him a careful hug goodbye.

“I’ll see you soon,” she promised. If he could manage to keep himself out of trouble, he should be out in a few more days. Then they could all be at home together.

She was in the middle of hugging Connor when Jenna showed up at the door with a wheelchair. “Hospital policy,” Jenna said cheerfully. “We take you right to the door.”

Mouse and Chris hovered as she carefully got into the chair, giving her a flash of what the next week or two was going to be like. She might as well put the hovering to good use.

“Chris.” Bex reached out to touch his arm before he could move around and start pushing the wheelchair. “I want to make to see her before we go. Please.”

Every single person around her got a pinched look on their face at that request and she knew, okay? She knew that Emery was in bad shape and seeing her was going to be hard, but there was no way she was leaving her before doing that.

She needed Emery to hear her voice. To know they were both still here.

And that she had to keep it that way.

“Okay,” Chris sighed. “Hold on tight. Herrmann Express is leaving the station.”

He looked down at her expectantly.

“Yeah, I’m not—”

“Choo choo,” Mouse offered helpfully.

“Good enough for me,” Chris said as he wheeled them out of the room.

***

Mouse

Watching Bex sit beside Emery’s bedside, holding her friend’s limp hand as she talked to her—it was…rough. Mouse couldn’t stop thinking about how that could have been Bex too.

Or worse, that Bex might not have even made it to the hospital.

But she did make it, he reminded himself. And she was hurt, but she was going to be better and he and Jay would be there every step of the way.

“Her stats are better,” a voice popped up beside him. He looked over to see Kira, Bex and Emery’s friend standing between him and Chris. She’d given up her seat when they’d arrived so Bex could have a visit, claiming it was a good time for a coffee run.

“Emery’s stats,” she clarified, sipping at her to go cup. “They’re not great, but they’re better so…that’s something.”

“Have they said anything about when they’ll start bringing her off the sedation?” Chris asked.

“Maybe in the next day or two,” Kira said. “I’ll keep you guys posted.”

“Appreciated.” Chris wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze. They kept watch for a while longer, clocking when Bex started to flag and starting the slow process of actually getting her to leave.

Eventually, they managed to get her out of the hospital and into Mouse’s car. There was no way they would have been able to get her into Jay’s truck which was he drew the ‘go pack up their shit’ short straw.

After Chris had triple-checked that Bex was safely buckled in, he finally stepped back and shut the car door. He gave Mouse a measured look. “Take care of her,” he said.

“Every minute,” Mouse promised.

“I’ll be stopping by too so no funny business or walking around in your underoos or anything like that,” Chris said, jumping when Bex banged on the car window, scowling up at him. “Ooh, I did not think she could hear me. Okay, okay, I’m going.” He blew a quick kiss at Bex before quickly jogging off to the van. “Be seeing you!”

Mouse waved him off and got into the driver’s seat, ignoring the grumbling coming from the passenger side. “Let’s get you home.”

Bex let out a quiet sigh at that. “Please.”

The drive was surprisingly quiet. They were in that after-commute window and it seemed like a light day for construction. Mouse kept the radio off, mindful of Bex’s headaches, and focused on getting them there. Bex didn’t make a peep for the longest time. When he glanced over at the next red light, she was slumped against the back of the seat, totally passed out.

He was tempted to just keep driving and let her sleep for as long as she could, but she had to have some kind of internal radar because as soon as they got close to her street, she started to stir.

“We almost there?”

“Almost,” Mouse said, turning down her road and pulling into the parking lot. “Hang on, I’ll help you out.” He got out and dashed around to her side of the car. Working too quickly for her to argue about it, Mouse opened the door and undid her seatbelt. He carefully helped her out of the car, cataloguing every wince she tried to hide. Getting her upstairs was going to be a battle.

“Bex,” Mouse said, trying to figure out how to broach the subject as best he could. “I think, uh, don’t get mad, okay?”

“What?” She frowned faintly at him, swaying a bit before leaning against the car.

Crap. He did some quick math in his head. She was definitely due for another round of pain pills too. He really needed to get her upstairs. “Will you let me carry you in?” he asked, biting the bullet and putting it out there. “It’s far and I know—”

“You want to what?” “Uh, carry? You?”

Bex squinted at him and then groaned. “You know what? Go for it.” She raised her good arm and Mouse didn’t wait for her to second guess it before scooping her up gently into his arms.

“This okay?” She’d winced again when he’d picked her up, but she settled, wrapped her good arm around his neck and laying her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” she said. “Hurts, but not as bad as walking did.”

Jay chose that moment to pull into the lot, doing a double take as he drove past them. He parked quickly and jogged over to meet them at the front door. “Everything okay?”

“Just getting Bex upstairs,” Mouse said. “Figured we could come down for everything else later.”

Understanding crossed Jay’s face as he checked his own watch, realizing where they were in the schedule. “Good idea.” He went ahead, getting the doors and managing the elevator, then opening the apartment door.

The place was a little musty after not having anyone around for the last couple of days, but Jay turned the air on and it started to clear up quickly.

Mouse set Bex down and she already seemed more relaxed by being in her own space.

“You hungry?” he asked and she made a face. “Bex, you need to eat.”

“I know, but everything tastes awful and I feel so pukey—” She stopped when she looked up and met his eyes, sighing at whatever she’d seen in them. “I’m sorry, I know I need to eat.”

He didn’t want to guilt trip her, but she really did need to eat, especially with the kind of meds she was one. “Maybe a bit of toast now? And we could try soup later?”

Between the two of them, they managed to gently bully her through a piece of toast, taking her medicine, and into trying for a nap. After getting her tucked into bed, Mouse closed the door to her room, leaning against it with a sigh. Jay was waiting for him in the hall.

“She asleep?”

“Not yet,” Mouse said. “But close.”

They stood there in silence for a moment.

“Think we can do this without fucking up?” Jay asked.

“Gonna try.” Mouse pushed away from the door and headed toward the kitchen because that was it. He was gonna try. No matter what. “You have any idea how to make real soup?” he asked Jay over his shoulder.

“No, but that’s what Google’s for, yeah?”

Mouse laughed, smiling as Jay hip-checked past him into the kitchen and started rooting around the cupboards.

Okay. Plan of attack.

Figure out how to make soup. Bring their stuff up. Make soup. Feed the soup to Bex.

It was a start, at least.

“Hey, do you think this carrot is salvageable?”

Right, soup.

***

Bex

A quiet knock on her door was the only warning she got before Jay poked his head in. “Hey,” he whispered. “Ready to get up?”

“Not really,” she grumbled, keeping her eyes closed.

“So, does that mean you don’t want to go see Emery and Will?”

He laughed when she shot up out of bed. “I’m up, I’m up,” she said. “Give me two minutes to change.” He left her to it and she changed into fresh clothes in record time. She grabbed the door handle, pulling it open and stepped out—

Into the hallway of the hospital. The ICU floor. “Jay?” she called out, but there was no answer. The only sound was a flat whine coming from one of the rooms.

A sound she was way too familiar with.

One that made her stomach fill with dread and panic and—

She found herself moving toward the noise, pulled toward a doorway, into a room.

“No,” Bex whispered.

Will and Emery, lying side by side in twin hospital beds, motionless as the monitor screamed out the flatline behind them.

“NO!”

“You did this.” Connor stepped toward her from the side of the room. “You were too slow. Too weak. You didn’t save them.”

“I tried—”

“You let them die,” Connor snapped out at her. He looked down at his own chest where growing patches of red were forming, blood starting to run down it in little rivers. “This is your fault.”

“Connor!” She screamed as he fell to his knees, eyes staring out at nothing. “No. No, no, no! Help!” Bex turned back out to the hall, searching for someone, anyone. She spotted someone lying on the floor a few feet away.

It looked like—

No.

Bex ran, falling to her knees beside him and carefully turning him over. Chris flopped back, dried blood crinkling the side of his shirt. His lips were blue. Eyes as empty as Connor’s.

And Will’s.

And Emery’s.

“I need HELP!” Bex yelled into the empty hallway. “Please. Someone, please help!”

“It’s too late, Bex.”

She whirled around to see Mouse falling to his knees as blood poured out of his mouth.

“There’s no one left to help,” he gasped before collapsing to the floor. Behind him, the hallway was filled with bodies.

Jay. Cindy. Uncle Bo. Uncle Mouch. Trudy. Matt. Gabby. Shay. Kelly. Kevin. Adam. Kim. Sylvie. Otis. Joe. Kira. Malia. Sam. Everyone.

All of them.

Every single person she loved.

Dead.

“This is your fault,” Ty said, slamming a knife into her chest and pinning her to the wall.

Bex woke up with a gasp, doubling over as pain throbbed through her at the sudden movement. She couldn’t—where was—they were all—

No.

She took a shaky breath.

Then another.

Slow.

Waiting out the panic.

It was a dream. It wasn’t real. They were all alive.

It wasn’t real.

Bex carefully let herself lie back against her pillows and ran her good hand over her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “It wasn’t real,” she reminded herself.

A knock on her door had her jolting again. Heart pounding.

“Bex?” Jay called before he cracked the door open. “You awake?”

“Um, yeah,” she croaked out. “Just now.”

He poked his head inside, peering at her. “You okay?”

She took in the sight of him, alive and okay, but with massive bags under his eyes and concerned lines etching across his face. Stress and exhaustion seeping out of his bones.

This is your fault.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m fine.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Sure about that?”

“Yes,” Bex said firmly, willing away her headache and sore ribs for long enough to flash him a convincing smile. “I’m okay…and I believe I was promised soup?”

He grinned back and started in on what had apparently been an epic soup-making adventure with Mouse. Bex let his words wash over her, pushing away the remnants of her nightmare.

See?

Fine.

Click here to read Chapter Two. Click here to read Chapter Three. Click here to read Chapter Four. Click here to read Chapter Five.

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @iunnowatuwant, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @thebewingedjewelcat, @emme-looou,

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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 6 months ago

Text

Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Four)

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three

Chapter Four

A few hours earlier…

***

Chris

“Thanks for fitting me in, Doc,” Chris said, shifting on the couch as he took in the familiar space of Dr. Peters office. He hadn’t been in a few weeks, reducing their visits once he’d finally felt like he had his feet back under him since the Freddy incident.

But then…well.

He’d called yesterday to see if he could make an emergency appointment and they’d been good enough to get him in today. Just enough time between checking on Bex and stopping in at the hospital to make it work.

“It’s not a problem, Chris,” Dr. Peters said and sounded like he actually meant it. Chris liked that about the guy. He was genuine. Made it feel less like he was talking to a shrink.

“Why don’t you tell me what prompted your call.”

…maybe only a little bit less. Chris chuckled to himself before scrubbing a hand over his face. “I mean, you got the broad strokes there,” he said, gesturing at the notes in Dr. Peters’ lap. “Everything that happened, it was—it was a lot. I’m having a hard time…and Cindy, you know, she’s been amazing, but she’s trying to deal with it all too and she’s pregnant and I can’t just keep dumping on her. Figured I might as well talk to you.”

Of course, that was when he clammed up, his brain stalling out on exactly how to explain what he was feeling. Why he was struggling.

If he could do that, he probably wouldn’t be here.

Dr. Peters waited him out until Chris managed to say, “I don’t know…how to handle this.”

A head tilt was all he got in response. Right, right. Say more. He knew that.

Chris groaned, rubbing at his forehead. “It’s one thing when it’s me getting hurt or hell, even someone from the firehouse,” he said. “We know that comes with the territory. Even Jay—that was, you know, that was hard, but again, he’s a cop and he’s not—”

“He’s not what?” Dr. Peters asked quietly when Chris didn’t continue. “He’s not my baby sister,” Chris choked out. “Bex is—you-you remember the whole story, right? She’s…she’s pretty much my kid. I raised her. I look at her and I still see my little girl.” He swiped at his cheeks, shaking his head. “But she’s, uh, she’s a grown up now, technically, and she won’t—she’s not letting me help her. And I know I’ve got to let her make her own choices. I know that. I do. But she’s, ah, she’s struggling. I can see it and I’m spending every friggin’ minute worried about her, but I can’t make her come and stay with us so I can keep an eye on her even though I want to.”

He huffed out a deep sigh.

“I don’t want to make it worse,” Chris said, finally looking up at the doc. “But I don’t know how to make it better.”

“Have you communicated any of these fears to Bex?” Dr Peters asked and Chris snorted.

“Have I told her I’m afraid she’s not going to take care of herself because she’s got two hefty doses of stubborn in her DNA? No,” Chris said. “I have not. Not in so many words, anyway.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “And isn’t that more…my own problem? Don’t you think? She’s the one who got hurt and has to deal with the trauma from that. I shouldn’t be adding my own fears on top of it all.”

Dr. Peters set his papers aside at that and levelled a look at Chris. “Do you remember what we talked about after your injury? With Cindy and her fears about you returning to work?”

Oh. Right.

Chris had forgotten about that actually. Cindy had been terrified about him going back, to both the firehouse and Molly’s. She’d kept quiet about it for longer than Chris liked to think about—still hated that she felt so alone in it and yeah, okay, he could see Dr. Peters’ point here.

“When something like this happens to a loved one,” Dr. Peters said, repeating his words from the past. “It creates its own measure of trauma through the fear and uncertainty that you experienced. Communicating your fears to Bex could not only help you to work through them, but might also provide her with an opportunity to open up, much like it did with you and Cindy.”

“So, you think I should just…”

“Talk about your fears with Bex.”

“Okay.” Chris sat back on the couch. “…any ideas on how I should go about that?”

“We have some time left.” Dr. Peters smiled at him. “Let’s talk it through.”

***

Now

***

Jay

Jay shot a look at Mouse who was giving him that same ‘not it’ look from the living room which was even less helpful now than it was then.

“Okay, uh,” Jay began. “I can explain…”

“First of all,” Jay said, stalling, trying to figure out where to start, maybe panicking a little bit. “It’s also Mouse’s fault.”

“Dude.”

Jay ignored the betrayed look on his face—there was no way Jay was taking crap for this all on his own. “She heard us talking with you about Will and Emery,” he said to Chris. “Mouse caught her trying to leave on her own so she could check on them. What were we supposed to do?”

“She was really upset,” Mouse added. “We did our best to make sure she ate something and rested a bit, but she wasn’t going to relax until she saw them.”

“You know how much she’s been struggling,” Jay began and Chris nodded with a sigh.

“No, no, I get it,” Chris said, deflating as he leaned against one of the couches. “I’m not mad, Jay, just—”

“Just disappointed?” Jay muttered, having a hard time meeting Chris’s eye.

“No, not—” A hand clamped down on his shoulder and Jay looked up to see Chris shaking his head. “Listen. It’s a tough time all around and everyone’s doing their best. I’m more concerned about the fact that Bex seems to be doing her best to put herself back in a hospital bed.”

“Ms. Herrmann’s healing will only be delayed by stress,” Dr. Abrams said. “As much as I’d rather see her at home, resting, if checking in on Dr. Halstead and Ms. Hughes gives her some peace of mind, I think we can allow it under controlled circumstances. Limited visits. The last thing we want is her pushing herself and prolonging her symptoms.”

“That’s going to be a fun conversation,” Jay said, already grimacing at the thought.

“I know you guys are taking point on this, but you’re not alone,” Chris said. “I think it’s going to take all of us to manage the Bex situation.”

“Manage the what now?”

***

Chris

Dr. Peters would not be impressed with how this chat was going so far.

Chris turned around to see Bex standing behind their little group, leaning heavily on Kira who was trying to help her down into a chair. Bex stood firm though as she glared at him.

“I’m managing myself just fine, Chris,” she said. “You don’t need to be having little meetings about me or whatever it is that’s happening here.” Bex waved a hand at them, her frown turning into a wince as the movement pulled at her side.

Yeah, she was totally fine.

“Sit down, Ms. Herrmann,” Dr. Abrams said, gesturing at the chair she was still stubbornly ignoring. He raised an eyebrow at her when she didn’t move. “That wasn’t a request.”

Bex huffed before shaking off the helping hands of Kira, Chris, Jay, and Mouse and carefully lowering herself into the chair. It was friggin’ painful to watch.

“I always thought you were the sensible one,” Dr. Abrams continued. “You seem determined to prove me wrong.” He managed to keep his usual dry tone, but Chris could see the pinch of concern around his eyes.

And the way his mouth flattened when Bex didn’t toss one of her usual comebacks at him. She only sighed and rubbed at her forehead as she slumped back in the chair.

Dr. Abrams exchanged a look with Chris, opening his mouth to speak again when he was cut off by his pager. He took a quick look at it and frowned. “I have to go,” he said, frown deepening as he watched Bex. Stepping forward, he crouched down beside her chair, startling her. “Bex—”

“Whoa, first name,” she muttered. “Serious.”

“Yes, it is,” he said as he fought back a little smile. “So, listen carefully. Dr. Fahir and I let you leave the hospital with the understanding that you were going to take care of yourself. I expected you to do better than this.”

Mouse made a noise at that and Dr. Abrams held up a hand, not breaking eye contact with Bex.

“People who get readmitted are clearly not well enough to come up with nicknames,” he said. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

Bex’s sullen look cracked a bit at that. “Stooping to bribery, Dr. Abrams?”

“Merely stating facts. Now stop making me repeat myself and get some rest.” He patted her knee as he stood up. “Gentlemen.” Then, with a nod, he was striding back down the hall.

That was…helpful? Maybe? Chris turned back to find Bex glaring up at him—or maybe not so helpful then.

“Well? Isn’t it your turn to lecture me?” Bex held herself stiffly in the chair, chin set as she stared somewhere around his shoulder. “Come on. You wanted to talk about the Bex situation.”

“I can’t help being concerned,” Chris said. “The docs told us to expect mood swings and impulsive behaviour, but—”

“It’s not unreasonable for me to want to check on Will and Emery,” Bex snapped.

“No, it’s not.” Chris took a beat and focused on maintaining calm tones. “But you trying to haul ass to the hospital all by yourself kinda was. You’re injured, Bex and there are limitations—”

“I’m handling it—”

“Can you guys give us a minute?” Chris asked Jay, Mouse, and Kira. “Go grab a coffee or something? Heck, grab one for me while you’re at it.” The three of them hesitated, looking between him and Bex. “Please?”

“I should get back to Emery anyway,” Kira said softly, giving Bex a gentle squeeze on her shoulder before heading back into the ICU room. Jay and Mouse stood, but made not move to leave yet.

“It’s fine,” Bex sighed. “Stop fussing.”

“We’ll be back soon,” Jay said, clasping a hand on Chris’s back while Mouse leaned down to kiss Bex on top of her head and murmur something in her ear that got a faint smile out of her. With a few final looks back, the two of them headed down the hall and out of sight.

Chris pulled one of the little tables over closer to Bex’s chair and sat down on it, facing her with his elbows on his knees. The two of them stared at each other for a moment.

“I’m handling it,” she finally muttered. Bex had that same mulish look on her face that she’d perfected at the age of three and Chris couldn’t help the bark of laughter it pulled out of him.

“Well, I’m glad to hear it,” he said, shaking his head. “Because I’m definitely not.”

“Wha-what do you mean?”

Staring down at his hands, Chris took a moment to gather his words. “When Trudy and Mouse showed up at the station like that,” he said slowly, not wanting to put this on Bex, but needing to talk about it with her. “I thought I was about to have the worst day of my life all over again.”

“Chris,” she whispered and he held up a hand, meeting her eyes.

“Let me get this out. Please.” Chris swiped a hand over his face and cleared his throat. “It was still one of the worst days of my life,” he said. “Seeing you hurt like that and knowing what you’d been through? That we’d almost—that you could’ve—” He shuffled forward to kneel beside her, old man knees be damned. “Losing you would have broken me, Bex. It would have broken all of us. And—and knowing how close we came? It’s been keeping me up at night. I’m trying really hard not to hover, but god, kid, I can’t stop worrying about you.”

Bex reached out with her unbroken arm and grabbed his hand in hers. Chris squeezed it gently for a moment, grounding himself.

“I know you’re processing things in your own way and you need space,” he said. “But please—please don’t shut us out. Let us help you. And let yourself heal. You need time and you need to rest, Bex. I just—please don’t fight me on this, okay? I need you to take this seriously and take care of yourself. I need you to be okay.”

“I’m trying,” Bex said, voice going thick. “I just—Will…and Emery—”

“Are not alone,” Chris said. “They have all of us looking out for them. Not just you, okay? So, trust us to do that. To help. I get that all of that is a lot to ask, but can you try? Will you? Please?”

***

Bex

When Bex had walked out into the hall and come across the little huddle between Chris, Jay, Mouse, and Dr. Abrams, a white-hot flare of anger had burned through her gut.

How dare they? Talking about her like that?

Discussing how to manage her?

Chalking up her feelings to concussion side effects?

She’d been two-seconds away from telling them all to fuck off and finding her own way to hobble home.

But then Chris had to go and pour his heart out and now she just felt awful. Physically. Emotionally. Pretty much on a cellular level.

The last thing she wanted was to cause him pain and look what she was doing.

“I’m sorry,” Bex managed to get out.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, sweetheart,” Chris said, groaning as he got to his feet. “Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself first.” He leaned over her to wrap her up in a gentle hug. Bex closed her eyes and let herself sink into it.

She hadn’t meant to worry him—hadn’t meant to worry anyone—but she’d been so focused on Will and Emery, worried about them, that she hadn’t thought about much else.

Now she knew though, how wrong that had been.

Of course, Chris was upset and worried. Just like Jay and Mouse and apparently a whole bunch of other people including Dr. Abrams.

And Bex was making it worse.

After everything they’d all been through, she was making it worse.

And why? What for?

It wasn’t like she’d been stabbed or shot. She was going to be fine in a couple of weeks.

Chris was right. Bex needed to suck it up and focus. Follow doctors’ orders perfectly and maybe she could shave a bit of time off of that couple weeks so she could be back in the game and help out properly. Will and Emery were going to need it during their much longer recovery times.

Heal up now. Help out sooner. That made sense.

Bex could do that.

“Hey,” Jay said quietly from somewhere behind her. “Everything okay here?”

“Yeah.” Chris straightened up with a little pat to Bex’s undamaged shoulder. “We’re all good. Oh, gimme that.” He reached out and grabbed a coffee from Jay’s outstretched hand with a little grin, immediately taking a gulp. “Jesus, that’s hot. Mm.” He took another quick sip. “Ah!”

“You do that every time. Why don’t you get iced coffee?” Bex laughed as she pushed herself up out of her chair. Mouse moved to her side, ready to help, but not actually jumping in to do so which she appreciated. Almost as much as the small vanilla frappuccino that he handed her after.

Chris grimaced through another sip. “Iced? And dilute my caffeine? No, ma’am.”

“Connor said Will’s awake if we want to stop by,” Jay said, waving his phone at her.

“How is that even a question?” Bex started to rush toward the elevator, ready to push to get to Will faster, before Chris’s words played back through her brain and she forced herself to slow down. Move carefully. She ignored the loaded look that passed between Chris and Jay, tried to tamp down on the flutter of panic building in her chest that said she had to rush—had to lay eyes on Will now to truly know he was okay, and took the arm that Mouse offered her. “Let’s go.”

One step in front of the other. Slow and steady.

She could make herself be okay.

For Chris.

For all of them.

***

Mouse

After stopping in at Emery’s room to say goodbye—mostly to Kira since Emery was already asleep again—the four of them headed down to Will’s room.

Mouse kept an eye on Bex the whole way. He tried to be subtle about it, but the only reason he probably got away with it was because Jay and Chris were doing the same thing. Bex was mostly focused on walking which was still fucking painful to watch and not even the thing that was worrying him the most.

She was quiet since her talk with Chris. Subdued almost.

What the hell had he said to her?

Neither of them seemed distressed and even Jay seemed fine. Watchful, but okay.

Maybe—maybe Mouse was reading into things. He’d been hyper-aware of Bex’s every move and tone and expression since he’d walked into her hospital room and he should probably start to stand down a bit.

She relaxed once they got into Will’s room and she had some time sitting beside him, holding his hand. Groggy as he was, Will managed to make her laugh a bit as well.

Jay pulled Connor aside while Will and Bex were distracted with each other. The guy looked wrecked. “How’s he really doing?” Jay asked. “And how are you, man?”

Connor sighed. “Will’s about as good as can be expected,” he said. “The bleed was relatively easy to fix and his fever is slowly going down. I don’t want to say we’re completely out of the woods yet, but it’s looking better and everyone’s keeping a close eye on him.”

“And how are you,” Chris asked again.

“I’m—” Connor let out a short laugh as he dragged a hand down his face. “I’m just grateful he’s still alive and focused on keeping him that way. Everything else is…background noise.”

“Well, I’m here for the afternoon,” Chris said. “So, you go get some food and a shower and a nap and I can keep an eye on the big guy.”

“Chris, I—”

“Nah, none of that.” Chris held up a hand with a crooked little smile. He nodded over at Bex and Will, lowering his voice. “I’m trying to get Bex to be better about accepting help from all of us so how about you lead by example, eh?”

Connor ducked his head, huffing out a little laugh. “Fair enough,” he said. “And, uh, thank you.”

“That’s what family’s for,” Chris said, patting him on the back.

Will started to fade again shortly after that so after another round of goodbyes, Mouse and Jay took Bex back to the apartment. One of the neighbours came out as soon as they arrived. Apparently, there’d been a few flower deliveries that they’d accepted on Bex’s behalf. Jay carried them in while Mouse helped Bex to the couch.

“Who are they from?” Bex asked, trying to peer around Kol who was already cuddling up beside her.

“Gimme a sec.” Jay started setting them out on the kitchen table, far out of the way of Kol’s enthusiastic tail wags. “This one if from everyone at the diner.” He showed off a colourful bouquet to Bex who smiled softly at it.

“Keep the cards,” she said. “I want to remember to thank everyone later.”

“Will do,” Jay said, sticking it up on the fridge where they’d been keeping the rest of them. “Okay, this one is from Beau.” He held up a vase full of sunflowers before holding up a smaller one full of red flowers. “And this one isn’t signed. It just says ‘Enjoy your gift.’, but there isn’t anything else with it. Think they mean the flowers? Kind of a weird way to put it.”

“Hunh.” Bex stared at the bouquet, eyebrows scrunching up in thought. “That flower looks familiar, but I can’t—ugh, I can’t remember.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Mouse said, stroking back her hair. “It’ll come to you. In the meantime, we have pretty flowers.”

“There is that.” Bex’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes and Mouse leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“Why don’t you hang out here with Kol and we’ll get dinner ready,” he said. She nodded, sinking back into the cushions, and Mouse made his way into the kitchen where Jay was frowning at the bouquets. “Everything okay?”

“That last one is kind of weird, don’t you think?” Jay had the card in his hands still, flipping it over to check out the name of the florist.

“Some people get awkward with this kind of thing,” Mouse said, opening the fridge to see what they had to work with. “Don’t know what to say and either say too much or it comes out weird, like that.”

Jay hummed noncommittally and pocketed the card. “Alright,” he said, turning to Mouse and peering over his shoulder. “What are we making?”

Heating up a meal from Cindy was the answer to that question because she was a goddess who had sent Chris with a pile of filled Tupperware containers. Enough to last them until tomorrow night at least.

…they really needed to go shopping.

“I’ll hit the store tomorrow,” Jay said, echoing his thoughts. “Start a list, yeah?”

Between the two of them, they got dinner together and out to the living room for Bex. She ate at least half of it which was better than she’d done all week and took her pills without complaint.

Not a peep.

Just said something about how she was tired and was going to get ready for bed. Mouse turned to Jay after she’d wandered off to the bathroom.

“Do you—do you think she’s okay? I mean relatively speaking?” Mouse asked him. “Because she’s acting weird—weirder or weird in a different way, you know? What did Chris say to her?”

“I don’t really know,” Jay said, dragging a hand through his hair. “We didn’t have much time to talk, but he said he just asked her to talk all of this more seriously and to focus on herself more. Focus on resting and getting better.”

Technically, that seemed to be what she was doing now so that was good…

Mouse just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off with her, but it was hard to pinpoint what when everything was off right now.

Jay’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out to check the message. “Oh. Wow.” His eyebrows flew up as he scrolled through what appeared to be a whole pile of messages. “Bex! Check this out!” He bounded down the hallway, Mouse and Kol hot on his heels.

“Is someone hurt?” Bex called through the bathroom door.

“No, it’s good news,” Jay called back.

“I’ll be out in a sec.” The three of them leaned against the wall, straightening up again when Bex sighed loud enough for them to hear. “That means go back to the living room and don’t listen to me peeing, you weirdos.”

“Right. Gotcha.” A red-faced Jay led them back toward the living room and flopped back down on the couch.

Bex joined them a few minutes later, a hint of her usual spark as she shook her head at them. “What’s the good news?”

Jay held up his phone and showed them a long string of text messages and photos from Severide. “Sev and a bunch of others from 51 went and fixed up Emery’s place now that it’s been cleared as a crime scene. He says it was Otis’s idea—they wanted it to be all ready for when she’s allowed to come home.”

“Oh,” Bex said softly, eyes filling with tears as she took his phone and scrolled through the pictures of the many repairs the team had done. “That’s—oh, that’s—oh, my god, I love them so much.” She thrust the phone back into Jay’s hands. “Tell them. Tell them I love them and thank you and that we’re gonna make them so many cookies.”

Jay paused in his typing to raise an eyebrow at her. “We?”

“Chris said I need to accept help so blame him,” she sniffed. “And help me make cookies, please.”

“We will help you make cookies,” Jay said, grinning as he finished up his message to Severide.

“So many cookies,” Mouse agreed. He bit back a smile as Bex struggled to stifle a yawn. “Tomorrow though.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Bex said as she lost the fight against the yawn. “We have a good family.” She leaned her head against Jay’s shoulder with a sigh.

“The best.” Jay wrapped an arm around her for a gentle squeeze. He laughed when she yawned again. “Okay. Bedtime for you. Cookie time tomorrow. Deal?”

“Deal,” Bex murmured. She let Mouse help her up with out a fight, leaning into him as they headed down the hall. “You gonna tuck me in, Mouse?” she stage-whispered at him.

“I was thinking about it,” he whispered back.

“Sing me a lullaby?”

“Uh, I thought the plan was to get you to sleep,” Mouse said, making a face. “Not, uh, to traumatize you further.”

That startled a laugh out of her. “Oh, crap,” Bex clutched at her side, groans mixed in with the giggles. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“Shit—” Mouse could kick himself. “I’m so sorry—”

“Stop,” Bex said with a little sigh, leaning against the doorframe to her room. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about it. I’m fine. It was funny. Funny’s good.” She leaned toward him for a kiss. “You’re good.” Another gentle kiss.

“Less kissing, more bedtime!” Jay hollered from the living room.

Bex started to roll her eyes and then stopped, straightening up. “Right,” she said. “Gotta follow doctor’s orders.” She nodded to herself as her smile dropped away.

“That reminds me,” Mouse said, herding her towards her bed. “Dr. Fahir called and she said that not only should you be tucked in, but also snuggled for at least five to ten minutes.”

“Oh, really?”

Mouse fought to keep a straight face as he saw the smile return to Bex’s. He nodded, kicking the door shut behind them. “At least.”

“Well, I am trying to be a better patient.” Bex settled onto her mattress and made grabby hands at him, pulling him to her. “Medicine, please.”

***

Jay

Jay looked over at Kol as a giggle drifted down the hall from Bex’s room.

“Let’s go clean up the kitchen,” he said and Kol was already off like a shot, settling on one of the kitchen chairs to watch Jay do the dishes.

It was actually good to hear Bex laughing like that. Mouse was right—she’d been weird today and clearly struggling for the last few days.

With good freaking reason too.

He knew it was going to take time for her to start to heal and process, but that giggle felt like a good start. It gave him hope that they could get there.

Hope he’d been struggling to find a few days ago.

When he’d been sitting there while Bex was laid out in the hospital, part of him had wondered if they’d ever be okay again. Even now, when he was still for too long, his mind kept going to dark places. Thinking about what could have happened. What they could have lost.

To think that Will could have died or Bex…

We have a good family, she’d said.

And they did. They really did.

Jay wondered if Bex realized what a large part she’d had to play in that. If she knew how their family would fall apart without her. How much they’d break…

He didn’t even want to think about it, but he did because that was what Jay did. Think about his family and the what ifs and how to prevent them.

Because he was going to do everything he could to make sure nothing like this ever happened to his family ever again. He was going to keep them safe.

Any way he could.

Jay put the last dish in the rack and dried off his hands, reaching for his phone.

***

Statesville – Maximum Security Unit

After midnight.

***

This was—this was fucking bullshit.

Ty pressed a hand against his stomach, watching helplessly as the blood leaked out around his fingers. He wasn’t even sure why he was trying to stop it when he had half a dozen other matching punctures.

“Wait—hnggg.” He fell back against the wall, feet going out from under him, sending him sliding down to the ground. His vision was going blurry, but he could still make out the form of that guard, that fucking guard Mitchell, leaning over him. “Help me…”

“Son,” Mitchell said, lips twisting up in a smile. “You brought this on yourself. Should have left that girl alone.”

“Em?” This was because of her? Who fucking cared enough about fucking Emery to—

The crackling laughter of the guard interrupted his fuzzy thoughts. It echoed through the empty hallway, reminding Ty of how very alone he was right now.

“How many girls you been messing with?” Mitchell crouched down beside him and poked at him with the shiv. “No, you idiot. Does the name Bex mean anything to you? Because she sure means a lot to somebody.”

“Fuckin’ bastard cop,” Ty snarled, jerking back when Mitchell laughed again.

“Oh, you have no��idea who you messed with, do you?” he said as he stood, taking out a cloth and wiping off the shiv before dropping it on the floor beside Ty.

Darkness crowded in along the edges of Ty’s vision as he slumped to the side, watching his blood slowly seep out into a growing puddle on the floor. “Wh-who…why…” His eyes slipped shut and the last thing he heard was Mitchell’s footsteps walking away, a phone beeping, and the faint sound of his voice.

“It’s done.”

Click here to read Chapter Five.

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @lookingfortherainbow85

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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 7 months ago

Text

Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Two)

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Kira

The morning sun was just starting to peek through the clouds when Kira flopped down on a chair, resting her elbows on the cafeteria table.

She’d basically been living in the hospital for two—no, three, it was Tuesday, three days now—and she was definitely over the food. Malia and Devon and Isaac had been in and out while she spelled off with Sam and they’d brought meals when they could, but sometimes she was on her own. Like now.

She stared down at the sad looking breakfast burrito.

Really on her own.

Back when she’d agreed to be one of Emery’s emergency contacts, she never thought something like this would happen. Or that Bex would be hurt at the same time. Kira thought that they’d be facing whatever happened together.

Not that she’d be talking with doctors alone, trying to understand what the hell they were saying and praying that the treatments she was agreeing to were actually the best way to go.

Thank god for Connor. Right now, he was spending most of his time with Will—understandably so—but he still made time to check in. To explain things properly. To keep an eye on Emery.

And she’d had a chance to visit with Bex yesterday which helped a bit.

Although Bex had looked like shit and was trying to pretend she didn’t feel even worse. Kira had wanted to tell her everything about how things had been going with Emery and get her thoughts and lean on each other like they were supposed to, but after one look at her, she just…couldn’t.

Bex needed to focus on her own healing right now.

And Kira…she only had to focus on not letting one of her best friends die.

No problem.

“Well, that’s not a ringing endorsement for today’s breakfast burritos.”

Kira’s head jerked up at the sound and she started at the sight of an older gentleman in a white lab coat standing beside her table. “Sorry? I—what?”

“You seem a little upset,” he said, offering her a napkin. He gestured at his own face after she took it, making a wiping motion when she just held the napkin in her hand and stared at it.

She reached up, surprised to find her cheek was wet with tears. “Oh. Um. Thank you.” She wiped at her face and tried to ignore the twinge of embarrassment in her gut at being caught crying over her breakfast in the hospital cafeteria.

“Mind if I sit?” The gentleman asked, barely waiting for her nod before pulling out the seat across from her. “I’m Daniel Charles,” he said. “I work here with Bex’s brother, Will…you’re one of her friends, right?

“Yeah, uh—” Kira gave her head a shake and offered her hand. “Kira Cole. Nice to meet you.”

Daniel shook her hand with a little smile before sitting back and taking a sip of his coffee. “Your other friend,” he began, gazing at her over the rim of his cup. “How’s she doing?”

The sigh slipped out before she could stop it. “Better? I think? They’re talking about bringing her out of the coma today,” Kira said, all of the facts and scenarios and possibilities Connor laid out for her still running through her brain. “They pull back on the medication and then we wait and see.” Kira scoffed. “I’m starting to hate that phrase now. It’s all people keep saying to me. Wait and see, we have to wait and see—like, that’s my only option, to stay here and watch and wait to see if one of my best friends—my family—to-to-to see if she’s going to die. ‘Cause…that’s a normal thing to do.”

She caught herself then, horrified at how she’d just word-vomited her stress all over a stranger.

“Right, uh, sorry about that,” Kira huffed out a laugh as she poked at the edges of her burrito. “Short answer is, hopefully better. Soon.”

“It’s not easy,” Daniel said. “Being the person who waits.”

Kira felt tears prick her eyes again and all she could do was shake her head.

“It might feel like an exercise in futility,” he continued. “But it’s the furthest thing from that. It’s about having hope, Kira, and that kind of hope—that kind of love? It needs a lot of fuel. Your friend…”

“Emery,” Kira whispered.

“Emery.” Daniel nodded. “When she wakes up later, I don’t want to have to explain to her why we let you eat that sad looking burrito. That’s no way to get through the day.” He side-eyed it, making her laugh again.

“Across the street though, there’s this bakery,” he said, getting a kid-sneaking-a-cookie little grin on his face. “Has cheese croissants that melt in your mouth and cinnamon buns as big as your face. Coffee’s nothing to sneeze at either.” Daniel stood up and jerked his head toward the exit. “What do you say? It’s on me…”

On any other day, she’d be way more stranger danger about this whole thing, but she’d heard Bex talk about Dr. Charles before and if she was being completely honest—she was too tired to be anything else—he had a real parental vibe that she was seriously in need of at the moment.

“Yeah, okay,” Kira said, standing up to join him. “I’m in.”

That earned her a mega-watt smile and he ushered her forward. “You’re in for a treat,” he said. “I’m serious. Big as your face!”

Kira laughed and for the first time since Friday, felt the tiniest bit lighter.

***

Otis

“Otis…” Joe stared down at the plate in front of him. “What is this?”

“Scrambled eggs,” Otis shot back as he glopped another pile onto a plate and handed it over to Brett. She took it without a word, eyes going wide as she held it at arm’s length all the way back to the table.

Severide peered into the pan. “Are we one hundred percent sure on that?”

Otis slammed the spatula on the counter, levelling a glare at him. “Nobody said you had to eat it, Severide,” he snapped. “Toaster’s over there.”

“Alright, relax, man.” Severide raised his hands in front of him, backing away. “Careful there, Casey. He’s cranky today.”

Casey ignored him and came around to stand beside Otis at the stove. “What’s going on?” he asked quietly. “This is going a bit beyond your usual ‘I hate doing the cooking’ routine.”

“I just—” Otis sighed. “I hate feeling so useless.”

“Useless?” Casey raised an eyebrow. “At your job as a fireman where we regularly go out and save people’s lives?”

“You know what I mean,” Otis moaned. “I genuinely don’t,” Casey said. “But I’m trying to. Talk to me, Otis.”

“It’s this whole thing with Bex and-and Emery and Will,” he said, trying to find the words to explain. The whole break room quieted down as everyone listened in. “I wish that there was something we could actually do to help them, you know? There’s nothing to fix. I need something we can fix. I just—” Otis cut himself off with another sigh. “It’s stupid. I’m sorry, Ignore me. I’ll, uh…I’ll make a new batch of eggs. Please don’t eat those.”

“Too late,” Capp announced cheerfully. “I kind of like them. I ate Tony’s too.”

Shay shoved her plate in his direction and then turned back to face the rest of them. “You know…there might actually be something we could fix. If they let us.”

“Yeah?” Casey leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed. “What are you thinking?”

“Emery’s place was—well, it was pretty much trashed after what happened,” Shay said and Brett nodded solemnly. “If we’re allowed, it could be nice if we went in and cleaned it up before she’s out of the hospital? Give her a proper place to come home to when she’s ready?”

“It would probably make Bex feel better too,” Joe said. “Knowing that Emery wouldn’t have to deal with any of it?”

Casey and Severide looked at each other for a moment before coming to some kind of silent agreement and nodding. “I’ll make some calls,” Casey said. “If I can get it cleared, we can head over after shift. Anyone who wants to help out is welcome.”

Otis flashed him a grateful smile and Casey clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Don’t take it out on the poor eggs next time, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Otis rolled his eyes as he scraped out the pan. “Okay. Who’s ready for round two? No, not—Capp, you’ve had at least three breakfasts already, dude.”

“Bet you five bucks I can do six.”

***

Mouse

Mouse squinted at his phone, trying to make sense of the notification he just received.

CINDY added you to the chat ‘Secret Squirrel Chat’

That was…hm.

Questions.

He had a lot of questions.

MOUSE: Hi?

CINDY: Hi, Mouse! Welcome to our chat!

MOUSE: Our?

CONNOR: Hi

CINDY: It’s our secret in-laws chat

Mouse’s brain blue-screened for a moment.

CINDY: Relax. Breathe. I use the term loosely.

CINDY: It’s just a space for us to chat and plot as needed. I’ve been meaning to add you, but figured I should REALLY add you now considering everything that’s going on.

CINDY: So. How’s everyone doing today?

CONNOR: Will developed a fever and he started another bleed so he’s off getting some scans and bloodwork done. Waiting to find out if they need to go back in.

'Go back in' meaning another surgery, Mouse was guessing. He grimaced at the thought of telling Bex about that bit of news.

CONNOR: They’re going to try and bring Emery out of her coma this afternoon.

MOUSE: That's good, right?

He had his fingers crossed for something good to counteract the Will news.

CONNOR: Hopefully. There's a lot of variables at play. They might have to put her back under if it causes distress. It's kind of a wait and see situation.

CONNOR: If Will's okay to be left, I'll be headed up there so I'll try and keep you posted.

CINDY: And how are YOU, Connor?

Three little dots appeared and disappeared for a solid half a minute before Connor’s reply finally popped up.

CONNOR: Worried, but okay.

CINDY: I'll be by later to spell you off. No arguing.

CINDY: How’s it going over there, Mouse?

Oh. Okay. He thought for a moment before he started typing, not quite sure what to share.

MOUSE: Bit of a rough night.

Connor already knew that though.

Mouse thought back to Bex waking them up at 2 am with a piercing scream and then them trying to wake her up without aggravating her injuries. She’d been so out of it, even after she’d opened her eyes, grasping at them, asking if they were okay—

If this was real.

Jay called Connor so he could reassure her that he and Will and Emery were all still alive. It wasn’t until after that call that she finally seemed to be fully awake and refused when Jay offered to call Chris as well.

They’d ended up camping out her room; Jay setting up a little nest on the floor and Mouse dragging the arm chair she had in there over to beside the bed so he could stay close without jostling her. None of them slept much. Not with Bex still jolting awake every so often and Mouse and Jay’s eyes flying open every time she even twitched.

And now this morning…

MOUSE: Bex is still feeling sick. It’s hard to find stuff she can handle eating.

He was currently in the kitchen, making her some toast and cutting up an apple. Anything to make sure she could take her meds.

MOUSE: She’s still in a lot of pain, but Jay brought her his ribs pillow.

CINDY: His WHAT?

MOUSE: He’s got this pillow that he uses when he’s got hurt ribs. Hugging it makes them feel better so he’s loaned it to Bex. She says it’s helping.

CINDY: That’s great. I’m just stuck on the fact that he’s got a designated pillow for it. #HalsteadProblems

Mouse blinked at his phone. He definitely hadn’t had enough sleep to deal with this.

CONNOR: Glad to hear Bex is using a pillow. That’ll help. Now. How are YOU, Cindy?

CINDY: My parents have the kids today and Chris made me promise to rest, but I’m still worried about everyone so you have to keep me updated! Use the chat!!!

CONNOR: We will if you keep your promise to rest.

MOUSE: Go put your feet up.

CINDY: I’ve been horizontal this whole time.

CINDY: PS Chris is making the rounds this morning so…incoming. :D

Right on cue, there was a knock on the door of the apartment and the sound of Jay and Chris talking shortly after that.

MOUSE: He’s already here.

CONNOR: 😂

CONNOR: On that note…

CINDY: Updates! Don’t forget!

Mouse and Connor signed off the chat after reassuring Cindy once more that they’d keep on top of sending her updates. He pocketed his phone and sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. He didn’t want to add to the stress that Connor and Cindy were already carrying, but part of him wanted to dive back into the chat and ask for more.

For more advice about what to do next. For reassurance that he and Jay weren’t completely screwing up here. Were they being selfish? Thinking that they could help and not just…add more hurt.

No. Mouse picked up the tray of food.

They could do this.

It had been a rough night, but they’d made it through. He could hear Chuck’s voice in his brain telling him to take it all one step at a time. They could do that, right?

He stood in the middle of the kitchen for a moment before blinking and shaking his head. “Why am I waiting for someone to answer me?”

He seriously needed a nap.

***

Bex

“I told you, I'm not hungry, Mouse,” Bex called out when a knock sounded at her bedroom door.

It cracked open anyway. “You still gotta eat,” Chris said, poking his head through the gap. “Don’t make me send Cindy over here.”

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Bex struggled to get herself a little more upright on her pillow pile, ignoring the shooting pains in her side. “Is everyone okay?”

“I said I was gonna check in,” he said, pulling the door close to him and not actually making his way into the room. “And I, uh, I may have brought you a visitor…”

A flash of irritation went through her. She’d told him she wasn’t ready to see the kids. No one was listening to her about anything. “Chris—” Bex’s sigh was cut off by a very familiar whine. “Kol?”

An excited bark followed by an ‘oof’ from Chris as he was pushed out of the way when Kol bounded into the room.

“Wait, Kol,” Chris called out and Kol froze just as he was about to leap onto the bed. “Remember what we talked about.”

Kol let out a plaintive little ‘aroooo’ as he looked back and forth between Chris at the door and Bex on the bed. Chris shook a firm finger at him. “You have to be gentle.”

Bex had to hold back a giggle as Kol snorted and huffed at Chris before hopping up onto the arm chair and then placing one very delicate paw onto her bed and then the other. He whined again as he got closer, tilting his head as he looked her over.

“Hey, boy.” Bex held out her good hand and he sniffed it all over before letting her pet his head. “I missed you,” she said. “Did you miss me?” He huffed again, licking her hand once and then tucking himself in beside her and snuggling in.

“He was going a little nuts at our place so I thought we could try out a visit since I was stopping by anyway,” Chris said, coming in and plopping down into the chair. He passed over a handful of papers. “Brought you presents from the kiddos. They made you some get well cards and pictures. Will and Emery too.”

“Aw, that’s—that’s really sweet.” Bex looked over the pages and pages of pictures and little notes from her nephews and niece.

“They were upset about not being able to see you yet—” He held up a hand, cutting off the argument that was ready to burst off of her tongue. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I get it, okay? I’m just explaining why you’re probably going to have enough artwork to repaper this room by the end of the week. Sending you stuff made them feel better.”

“Please tell them I said thank you,” Bex said, smiling a bit at the pages from Max. He was writing her some kind of get well story and had sent her the first chapter already. Then the next drawing caught her eye. “Uh…did you see this one?”

Chris leaned over to peer at it and groaned. “Yeah, Annabelle didn’t really get our explanation of what happened. Cindy’s on it.”

“Is this—is this me?” Bex tilted the drawing, marvelling at the amount of red. “And am I holding Ty’s head?”

“She’s very proud of you,” Chris said, a weary smile tugging at his lips as he shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s definitely going on the wall.” She passed them back to Chris and he set the pile on her side table.

He turned back, setting his feet up on the edge of the bed and levelling a look at her. “Heard you had a rough night,” he said.

“It wasn't that bad. I think it's just the medication messing with my dreams,” Bex said and he narrowed his gaze at her blatant lie. Whatever. She was exhausted and she didn’t feel like getting into it right now.

Chris opened his mouth, probably gearing up to push the issue, but there was another knock and then Mouse coming in with a tray full of toast and fruit while Jay lingered in the hall behind him. “Alright, kiddo.” Chris slapped his hands on his knees. “I gotta talk to the boys so you focus on eating that—and I mean all of that—and I’ll come say bye before I go.”

“What do you have to talk about?” Bex tried to crane around Mouse who was settling the tray in her lap and aim a proper glare at Chris. “If something’s going on—”

“We’re just talking about schedules and boring crap like that,” Chris said, eyes darting off to the side so she knew he was fibbing and something clearly was going on. Something they wanted to keep her out of.

Well, that was bullshit.

Bex stared at Chris as she picked up a piece of toast and bit into it with a smile. “Sounds good.”

She waited a solid ten seconds after they had left her room and poked at Kol. “Kol,” she whispered and his head popped up. “You want treats?” Bex fed him a small piece of toast, smiling as his tail went crazy. “Good boy. Okay, you’ll get more in a second, but first you have to help me out.”

“Awoof.”

“Quietly.”

Kol boofed at her softly and she patted his head. “Open the door for me, Kol,” she said, nudging him toward the edge of the bed. “Just a little bit. And remember—quiet.”

He shuffled off the bed onto the chair and then down to the floor, hardly making a sound.

“Good boy,” Bex whispered as she watched him carefully make his way across the floor. Once he reached the door, he got up on his hind legs and grabbed the door handle in his mouth, gently pulling it down.

The door popped open. Bex and Kol froze, listening. The conversation in the living room didn’t pause and Bex had to hold herself back from cheering. Success!

“Okay, come here,” she whispered to Kol. He snuck his way back to his spot beside her on the bed and snuggled in. Bex fed him the rest of the toast and her apple slices as she strained to listen in on what was happening down the hall.

Something about Will…he had a fever? And he'd started bleeding again? That was—that didn’t sound good at all. What were they doing about it? Would he need more surgery? She had so many questions. Shoving the tray aside, Bex leaned further toward the door, wincing at the pain in her side. Now they were talking about Emery.

They were going to try and bring her out of her coma today?

Bex bit back a gasp. Frustrated tears sprang into her eyes and she scrubbed them away. She should have been told about all of this—someone should have—she should be there.

Ugh, she hated this. Hated not having her phone to keep in touch with Connor and Kira and everyone. Hated being kept out of the loop. For what? Her own good? Because she couldn’t handle it?

Bex had been handling everything life could throw at her since she was six.

This, for the record once again, total bullshit would not stand.

The sounds of the living room conversation started to slow and Bex returned to her spot on her pillow pile as quickly and as quietly as she could. She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing.

Two could play at deceivery…no…deception-ness? De—ugh, her stupid, tired brain. Two could play at BEING A LIAR.

Her door creaked open and she heard a low huff from the doorway. “Bex?” Chris called out softly. She snuffled and turned into her pillow a little more.

“She’s asleep,” he whispered. “Looks like she ate everything though.”

“Oh, good,” Jay whispered back. “Finally.”

“Kol looks like he’s behaving so I’ll leave him here for now,” Chris said quietly. “I think he cheered her up a bit.”

“Keep us posted, okay?” Jay asked, his voice getting fainter as they walked back down the hall.

Bex waited, hearing the click of the front door closing, the murmur of Jay and Mouse talking to each other, and then the whoosh of water as the shower went on.

Okay, one of them was definitely occupied in the bathroom for the next few minutes so now was probably her best chance.

She braced herself, biting her lip against the pain as she got out of bed. Kol’s head popped up and she shushed him when he whined at her. “Stay here, okay?”

Shuffling as quietly as she could down the hall, Bex risked a peek into the living room.

Empty.

There was a clang from the kitchen and the sound of water sloshing as Mouse washed the dishes. Perfect. She sped up her shuffle walk as much as she could, snatching a hoodie off the back of the couch and grabbing her bag off the hook. Holding her breath, she opened the door—

Clink of dishes.

Shower still running.

No one noticing a thing.

Bex exhaled slowly as she slipped out into the hall, pulling the door shut behind her. Step one complete. Now she just had to figure out how to get to the hospital. Driving was out of the question, but once she was outside, she could try and hail a cab? Or call an Uber? Was her phone even in her bag?

She started up her shuffle again, making her way to the elevator. Screw it. She’d walk the whole way there if she had to.

A flurry of barks had her jolting, clutching at her side as it throbbed in pain at the movement. Kol. “I can’t believe he’s freaking tattling on me,” she grumbled to herself. Maybe she could at least get inside the elevator before—

The door of the apartment opened. “Bex?”

—before that happened.

“Bex!” Mouse called out, voice high and frantic. “Where are you going? What’s wrong?”

Jay came stumbling out after him, a pair of sweats clearly hastily yanked on and getting slowly soaked by the water dripping steadily down from his hair. “Kol, stay—stay! Mouse? Where’s—what the hell, Bex?”

She leaned against the wall, turning to glare at them as they rushed over. “No, you what the hell? Were you even going to tell me about Will and Emery?” She scoffed at the look they exchanged. “Unbelievable.”

“We were going to,” Mouse began.

“But you need to rest too,” Jay cut in. “We all knew—”

Mouse coughed.

Jay sighed. “Chris and I knew exactly what would happen if we told you everything right away, which was this by the way—you tearing off to go see them—and I'm sorry, Bex, but you’re not up to going back to the hospital right now.”

Bex straightened up carefully, willing back the pain so she could stare him down. “Fucking watch me.”

“You’re not even wearing shoes!” Jay exclaimed, flinging water everywhere as he gestured at her feet.

Bex looked down and blinked at her—hm.

Yup, those were her socks.

A bang had her head snapping back up—ow—and Jay and Mouse whipping around to look at the apartment door which was now very much closed.

Jay tried the handle, cursing when it wouldn’t budge.

Kol barked joyfully from the other side and Bex took back everything she said about him tattling. He really was the best boy. She settled against the wall again and watched as Mouse searched his pockets, shaking his head at Jay who hadn’t stopped cursing.

Bex cleared her throat, getting their attention. “I may have forgotten my shoes, but I’ll give you one guess as to what I didn’t forget,” she said, patting her bag and smiling as her keys jingled inside. “Let’s negotiate, shall we?”

Click here to read Chapter Three. Click here to read Chapter Four. Click here to read Chapter Five.

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @thebejeweledwatercat

23 notes · View notes

herrmannhalsteadproduction · 2 years ago

Text

Fic Rundown for me! [aka IDontGoHereEither on ao3]

Hello! Thought it would be a good idea to make a main post with all of the links for my OneChicago crossover fic series, A Herrmann/Halstead Production. (ao3 series link here.) [If you're looking for my 9-1-1 fics, you can find them all listed on this post or go to my ao3 account and you can read them all there. 😊] What's the series? It's an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this original character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths. I pull some plot lines from the three shows to weave into the big picture storyline, but there will be a fair amount of differences. Hopefully you still check it out! Story Links:

All header artwork has been created by the awesome @sowrongitslottie!

Part One: Oopsie Baby

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Three chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Two: Promises Kept

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Three chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Three: Stop Adopting My Friends

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Three chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Four: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

-- Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Three chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Five: Now Kiss!

-- Read it on Tumblr -- OR -- Read it on ao3

Part Six: Where There's a Will

-- Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Five chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Seven: First Rule of Game Night

-- Read it on Tumblr --OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Eight: A Fun Fair, An Alleged Flirtation, and a New Living Arrangement

-- Read it on Tumblr -- OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Nine: Will and Bex: ROOMIES!

-- Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Four chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Ten: Do Your "Grrr, We're Intelligence" Thing

-- Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Three chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Bonus Fic: IT'S DECEMBER 23RD, WILL!!!

-- Read on Tumblr -- OR -- Read on ao3 --

Part Eleven: Sometimes You Need

-- Read it on Tumblr -- OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Twelve: Reckless [With My Heart]

-- Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Six chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Thirteen: There's a Way

-- Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Seven chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Fourteen: Game Night 2: Fresh Blood

-- Read it on Tumblr -- OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Bonus Fic: The Grocery Story Trip

-- Read on Tumblr -- OR -- Read on ao3 --

Part Fifteen: The Centre Must Hold

-- Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Seven chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Sixteen: Congratulations on Not Dying (Happy Birthday, Chris!)

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Five chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Seventeen: Wingman? Wingwoman? Wingperson.

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Four chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Bonus Fic: I Am Looking Disrespectfully, Sir

-- Read on Tumblr --OR-- Read on ao3 --

Part Eighteen: Honesty. Horrible, Horrible Honesty.

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Eleven chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Nineteen: 500 Miles

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Sixteen chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Twenty: Game Night 3: It’s Bex Ball, Bébés

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Two chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 -- (Rules of Bex Ball found here.)

Part Twenty-One: That Herrmann/Halstead DNA

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One (Seven chapters in total. Follow the links at the end of each post to read the next chapter.) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

Part Twenty-Two: Fine is a Four-Letter Word

--Read it on Tumblr: Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five (ongoing) OR -- Read it on ao3 --

More parts to come! NEW: I've started a secondary series to go along with this AU called A Herrmann/Halstead Production - Not Fics and Ficlets and Fun Bits! I'm using it to store all of the little asides that don't fit into the regular series. I'll put links here for that series as well (unless it gets too big and needs its own post.) A H/H Production - Not Fics and Ficlets and Fun Bits 1. Thanksgiving 2014 The list of upcoming ideas for this series can be found HERE and you can feel free to make suggestions for it too!

I've also created a post with who I could cast as the original characters in this series and you can check it out HERE!

As always, my inbox is open if you want to say hi!

(And if you're on ao3, please feel free to say hi and leave a comment/question over there!) Thanks for checking out the series! :D

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the gorgeous cover @sowrongitslottie made for this series:

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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 4 months ago

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The ICYMI reblog: Chapter Five is up!