#jaskier is the best papa

[samstree]

(the 'jaskier likes a dilf fic' fic has a sequel, because i'm very nice ;)

following this

The blood is getting into Geralt’s eyes.

“Fuck,” he mutters, blinking it away, the wound on his forehead throbbing with every step he takes.

It must be a bad one if his healing still hasn’t kicked in. The gash runs deep and long near his hairline, bleeding sluggishly along his face. Geralt feels dizzy with the blood loss, the world spinning before his eyes. His senses are dulled—dark spots swimming in his vision, the ringing in his ears, slowed reflexes.

Head wounds are tricky bastards, he curses silently.

Geralt lets his feet drag himself forward, with much resistance from the uneven terrain and the injury, but carrying a fully grown man certainly doesn’t make it easier.

“Oh, thank you, master witcher!” Andrej says, draped over Geralt’s shoulder, head lolling upside down. Between every other word, he hisses from the pain in his broken foot. “If it weren’t for you, that beast would have eaten me whole!”

“Hmm.”

Geralt grunts, head pounding.

“I know you are a humble man, master. Jaskier told me all about it! He said you’d never admit to being a hero, but you are! Whatever shall I do to repay this debt?”

He says Jaskier’s name so casually, so intimately, without titles or honorifics.

The headache suddenly gets worse. Geralt has to suppress a groan. The barkeep’s weight is slipping from his shoulders, so he hikes him up with a jolt.

“Not humble,” he squeezes out the words in the end. “Just doing my job.”

“Still, you have no idea how much this means to me. To think I nearly died today, and my Lucja would have been left without a family. I fear no one would have taken her in this time. When that beast dragged me away, all I could think about was my daughter, master Geralt! My life is of no importance, but my sweet Lucja…”

Geralt grits his teeth as Andrej goes on and on about how he puts his daughter’s life before his, how he values nothing more in this life.

Stupid, kind-hearted Andrej, the best father in the world.

“How noble of you,” Geralt says pettily, out of nowhere. The blood loss lowers his inhibitions, making him more candid than he would like.

More reasons for Geralt to hate head wounds.

Distantly, he remembers he should not make such jabs at an innocent man who deserves no ire from him, but Andrej doesn’t seem to notice.

“I do not see raising my daughter as a noble deed, sir,” he simply goes on. “They say I saved Lucja’s life, but in truth, it was she who saved me! For you see, it is a privilege to love such a perfect daughter, who chose me as her family. I am only grateful for her arrival every single day…”

A growl falls out of Geralt’s throat on its own, the pettiness in his chest boiling hot. He barely notices the tavern appearing before his eyes as the good man rambles on.

Jaskier waits by the door, sitting on the step next to a small Lucja, who’s eyes are red and puffy. His arm is around her and patting gently, eyes brightening as he finds Geralt carrying Andrej back safely.

Geralt sets the barkeep on the ground, relieved both physically and mentally. When the beast came and carried Andrej away right in the middle of town, the heartbreak in Jaskier’s eyes…

He shakes away the memory of Jaskier panicked and pleading when the man of his dreams was in danger.

“Papa!” Lucja runs towards Andrej and jumps into his open arms. The broken foot is not the worst thing for a human, but it must still hurt when he lets her slam into him and picks her up.

Of course, the perfect father would do that.

“I am safe and sound, my sweet girl,” Andrej says between kissing Lucja. “You must thank master witcher. He saved me!”

Jaskier is hovering around the both of them, touching and checking Andrej all over. His face finally relaxes into a smile when he turns to Lucja. “As I said, Geralt is a hero! You see, your papa is back! Everything will be alright now!”

Geralt’s chest twists at the sight of the three of them, something heavy lodged in his throat. They make a lovely picture together, almost too precious for him to intrude.

With that, he turns to leave, but a dizzy spell suddenly takes over.

He stumbles, vision darkening. The ringing in his ears drowns out all the noises in the world, and there’s something warm and sticky on his chin. He touches it, and his hand comes away with fresh blood.

It’s nothing a few hours of meditation can’t fix, but he does need the rest. Now that Jaskier has the perfect man back, he’ll be busy cooing over his brave heart and broken foot, and on top of it, his undying paternal love even in the face of death.

Geralt needs to take care of himself, alone.

It’s fine, nothing he hasn’t done since before Jaskier came along.

Really, It’s fine, he tells himself again.

Geralt winces, and takes another step. His head must be more messed up than he realizes, because he only hears his name called out after a few times.

“…Geralt?” Jaskier appears out of nowhere. “Hey, darling. You are alright. I’m right here.”

Careful hands support Geralt by the arms, taking most of his weight. By instinct, he leans into Jaskier’s embrace. It’s familiar, and it’s a surprise.

Oh, Jaskier is right here.

“Why—” Geralt says, shaking away the fuzzy feeling in his head but only making it worse. The confusion of Jaskier’s presence by his side grows. “Andrej—”

“Hush, now. Here, let me.” Jaskier puts Geralt’s arm over his shoulder, guiding him up the stairs. “You saved Andrej, alright? His foot will be fine, because you carried him all the way here. Stupid witcher with your stupid heart…”

Jaskier complains more about Geralt’s heroics, but he didn’t do it to be a hero. He only didn’t want Jaskier to be sad.

“Oh. I’m not sad, dear. Don’t you worry about me.”

Hmm. Somehow, Geralt has said the last part out loud.

“Yeah, you did. Now—oof, let’s get you into bed.” Jaskier answers another one of Geralt’s train of thoughts, pushing open the door to their bedroom. “You are saying everything you think. It must be the head wound. Those are tricky bastards, I know.”

Geralt feels himself being lowered into the soft bed, the pillows against his back. Jaskier is all over him soon enough.

“Jaskier?”

“Yes?”

Those blue eyes are too close for Geralt to be thinking, he only leans into Jaskier’s touch. A soft, damp rug is pressed on his forehead, cleaning the blood away.

Geralt winces. “Why are you here?”

Jaskier’s hand stops, holding the rag and hovering. He shifts closer on the bed, his thigh pressed against Geralt’s. “Where else should I be?”

“Andrej…” Geralt closes his eyes, waiting for Jaskier to have the same realization. “You should go to him.”

Jaskier only looks more confused. His brows knit together in sympathy.

“Oh, my sweet witcher. It must be the injury messing with your head. Ugh, now I know why you hate head injuries so much. It’s making you ask these nonsensical questions.”

“Not nonsensical. You…” Geralt hesitates, not wanting to admit it to his treacherous heart. “You love him.”

The room is silent for a moment. Geralt focuses his senses on Jaskier’s breathing, the steady rise and fall of his chest, grounding as always. The headache feels less intense when he can listen to Jaskier’s breathing like this.

The gash is still an open wound, and Jaskier resumes his gentle care, cleaning away the blood clots and finding the bandages from the drawer.

“He’s a nice guy. I did, perhaps.” Jaskier says. “And?”

The bandage covers the wound, wrapping behind Geralt’s head. Jaskier gently tilts him forward so he can reach all the way around.

“And…” Geralt finds himself at a loss for words. “And, you love that he’s a good father to Lucja.”

Jaskier only shrugs, tucking in the corner of the bandage near Geralt’s nape. Both of his hands cup Geralt’s chin, helping him tilt forward, nearly tucking his face in Jaskier’s shoulder. A shudder runs down Geralt’s body at the closeness.

“Lucja is a very lucky child.” Jaskier finishes his work and pulls away. “Still, you are hurt. Why should I be anywhere else?”

It comes out as naturally as breathing, like it’s a choice Jaskier has never needed to make. To stay with Geralt.

“Huh.”

“I may have a thing or two for these gentlemen who happen to be lovely parents.” Jaskier meets Geralt’s eyes, blinking. “But as kind-hearted as Andrej is, he’s not the best father I know.”

Geralt blinks. “There are better ones?”

An unnamed annoyance rises again in his chest. There are more men Jaskier is noticing, more of them for the bard to get all hot and bothered over.

Geralt is trying really hard to not pout, but he can’t help the way his mouth tugs into the shape of displeasure. The blood loss must be getting to him.

A tiny smile appears at Jaskier’s lips, proud and wicked. “Why, yes. Of course,” he says. “There’s this one man. He’s better than the rest of them combined.”

A low growl rumbles in Geralt’s chest on its own volition. Before he can hide it, Jaskier lets out a chuckle.

“Should I describe him to you, dear witcher, so you may learn about my most prestigious, and frankly, almost impossible standards?”

“No, Jask—”

Geralt really doesn’t want to hear, yet again, how Jaskier’s attention has passed right over him and landed on another man, but Jaskier simply interrupts him.

“Where shall I begin? You see, he’s the best one in my eyes, not because he’s perfect. It’s the opposite, rather. He’s just as flawed as everyone else when they become a parent for the first time, but he always tries to do better. He knows of his shortcomings, perhaps too much, too intimately.” Jaskier’s eyes soften. “He feels guilty, for falling short in the early days, even after all this time. That’s why I’m here to remind him, of how far he’s come, how much he’s done for his daughter. It’s hard to raise an orphan-princess in the middle of war, you know?”

Jaskier smiles knowingly, and Geralt lets out a surprised oh.

“I—” he splutters. “Jaskier, it’s—I don’t—”

Geralt’s stomach flutters, his cheeks heating up.

“And he’s the reason…” Jaskier pauses, caressing Geralt’s cheek gently, careful with his injuries. “Well, he’s the reason I started to notice the rest of them.”

“The rest of them?” Geralt asks, brain still trying to catch up.

“Mm-hmm.” Jaskier nods. “All the other fathers started to catch my attention. Suddenly, I was swooning left and right at the sight of an older man taking care of his children. Once I added being a good dad to my list of standards, do you know what I realized?”

Geralt is now feeling woozy again, this time not for the blood loss. “What did you realize?”

Jaskier’s hand trails from Geralt’s face, making him chase for a brief moment, longing for the gentle touch. He catches Geralt’s hands, lifting them to his lips for a chaste kiss, and then another.

“None of them can compare,” Jaskier answers, solemnly. “Not Andrej. Not any of them. I have a man in my heart already, taking up all of the space, showing up in all my dreams. When he’s here, he’s the only one I see. Flaws and all.”

Geralt is warm all over when Jaskier’s eyes are on him like this, like he’s the most important thing under the sky.

“He sounds…” It’s hard to say it, but Geralt has always been more candid when his head is all over the place. “He sounds amazing. You should tell him more.”

“Yes.” Jaskier’s smile stretches. “I forget, sometimes, how deeply those doubts lie. Hopefully, he’ll forgive me for being neglectful.”

“I’m sure he will.”

“Or I should just profess my undying love, and never let his insecurities prevail again.”

Geralt’s eyes widen, his heart nearly giddy with hope. “You should.”

Jaskier’s features soften impossibly when he holds Geralt’s chin in his palm, leans in, and presses a gentle kiss on his eyebrow.

“Well, for one, he is you,” he whispers it like a secret, resting their foreheads together. “I love you, at your best and at your worst. I love all your faults and mistakes, and my love only grows when you try to do better. You are my favorite person, Geralt of Rivia. You are my heart, and my songs, and you are everything hopeful about this world. Now—” Jaskier kisses him again on the cheek, a big wet kiss that he wipes away with a thumb, pulling away. “Will you stop being an idiot?”

Warmth spreads from Geralt’s stomach, making him hum with happiness. The way he melts into Jaskier’s embrace, losing all the words, may indicate that he’s still failing at the not-being-an-idiot part.

“You love me,” Geralt mutters the most important thing, not sure how to react, so he traps Jaskier in his arms and buries his face in his chest, refusing to let go.

When Jaskier laughs, it’s carefree and indulgent, the vibration rumbling against Geralt’s cheek. His fingers have returned to Geralt’s hair, playing with it patiently.

“I love you, and I’m in love with you, my brave, concussed, impossible witcher. I might even say I have a crush on you when you are being particularly sweet like this,” Jaskier says. “And you do need some rest if we want that head wound to heal, dear.”

But Geralt is very comfortable, snuggling into Jaskier like this, and he also has a crush in return.

“I need to tell you too.” Geralt’s voice comes out muffled and sleepy, his eyes closing in contentment. “So you won’t have doubts… so you’ll know…”

The fingers in his hair are soothing, petting in a gentle rhythm that is getting slower and slower, lulling Geralt into a meditative state.

“When your head is clear, perhaps,” Jaskier answers. “I’ll still be here when you feel better. I shall confess my love again, lest you forget, and you can tell me all that you feel, all the sweet things you want to say to me. Well—on the other hand, when you feel better, I’ll also have the chance to tease you.”

“Will you?”

Jaskier’s smile sounds wicked, but Geralt cannot find it in himself to care.

“Oh, of course. Relentlessly. This is too good of an opportunity to pass, you getting the idea that I might care for Andrej more than you, simply because he is a good father. Hmm, let’s see, who should hear it first? Ah, yes. Ciri, of course…”

Jaskier’s voice blends into the background noise, chirping in excitement about the prospect of telling Ciri everything, his arms around Geralt, never for a second trying to let go.

Geralt closes his eyes, letting out a long sigh and finally letting himself rest in satisfaction.

A head wound may not be the worst thing in the world, he thinks.

He just needs to get better soon enough. There’s a love confession waiting for him, after all.

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

Best and Worst Days of the Kaer Morons

Part 1: Papa Vesemir

Worst:

The day Kaer Morhen was attacked

See Lambert’s Best Days #5

1st time he brought a boy to the mages for their trials

The day he realized he’s loosing old memories (he is very old) and can’t remember the names and/or faces of the dead

1st time one of the boys he trained didn’t come home from the path

Best:

1st time he got Geralt to laugh after finding him in the woods

The day he taught Eskel to bake a cake

The day Lambert brought Aiden home for the winter

The day Geralt brought Jaskier home for the winter

The 1st time Ciri hugged him.

@0dde11eth

[0dde11eth]

How each of the kaer morons wraps presents:

*I put it under the cut because the pictures will take up alot of dash space

Papa vesemir: thrifty, clever, reusable

Geralt: does his best

Lambert: this is only the first layer. Once it's unwrapped it's just increasingly annoying puzzles to direct you to where the actual present is located

Eskel: cute! Clever! Extra present!

Jaskier: spends hours working on making the gifts as pretty as possible. (Eskel will neither confirm nor deny helping the poor guy with the more difficult designs)

Coen: makes each present wrapped special and fun for the recipient, he knows how to take stuff to the next level of fun

Aiden: good luck finding it especially before it goes bad

Ciri: she did a fun craft with jaskier. They dipped their feet in paint to make their own gift wrap paper! (Nobody tell either of them they are so proud)

[somefanficrecomendations]

March Monthly Roundup

A belated St. Patrick’s Day, and Happy Easter if you celebrate! Sadly, I had a busy March, so this month’s rec list is short and sweet!

BATFAM Too Close to Rotting to be Alive by alicecrow6 (gen), <1k, Damian Wayne-centric, Angst The thoughts of a rotting corpse not yet placed in his grave.

pull up the ladder when the flood comes by mintchocochips (gen), 4k, Cass Cain-centric Black Bat is operating in Hong Kong. Bruce is dead. A hell of a lot of people are dead. Cass is trying her damnedest not to drown. She doesn't want anyone else to drown either. She just wants to be good. She is maybe, just maybe, not okay.

charity by Valkrin (gen), 7k, Different First Meeting, Bad Parent!Drakes The biggest downside of being adopted by Bruce Wayne is putting up with rich people events, including one where Jason will be in a room with a bunch of rich kids for a couple very long hours while Bruce goes to the adults' meeting. Jason is ready for a very bad time but the Drake kid listens to him from the start and keeps backing up Jason's ideas even though they've never met. Jason warms up to Tim Drake long before Mad Hatter tries to take over the meeting and Tim backs him up again.

the picture frames have changed and so has your name by Zahri (gen), 24k, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort There’s something wrong with Dick. Tim thought everything was getting back to normal. Bruce was alive and back in their timeline, the Birds of Prey were once again operating out of Gotham, Dick had the city well under control as Batman and even Damian had been less obnoxious than usual. And then during a firefight at a warehouse by the docks, Tim was almost hit by a flying boomerang. And Dick never noticed. When something is wrong with your big brother, who else do you turn to but your big sisters?

Fatherhood for Dummies by Havendance WIP, (gen), 6k, Batman Comics, POV Jack Drake When Tim runs away to No Man's Land, it takes Jack far too long to realize that he's gone. Once he does though, he'll do anything he can to get him back.

THE WITCHER Flung to Catch a Star by inexplicifics WIP, (Eskel/Geralt/Jaskier), 63k, Accidental Warlord AU      Morvran Voorhis, first-ranked prince of Nilfgaard, has been sent to Kaer Morhen on a diplomatic mission. His tasks are twofold: first, negotiate a nonaggression treaty between the wild barbarian Warlord of the North and the Nilfgaardian Empire. And second, ingratiate himself with the mysterious Warlord’s daughter and heir apparent, Princess Cirilla.      Sir Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach, a Vicovaran knight, has been assigned to protect young Prince Voorhis on this mission. Prince Voorhis may be the best of a bad lot, but Cahir’s still not looking forward to the threats or the temperature of a winter in the distant North.      They both know their mission is a dangerous one. But they don’t know where the true danger lies…and while they know how to navigate Nilfgaard’s treacherous court, they are not prepared for Kaer Morhen. This is a mission they might not survive…and if they do, they might be changed beyond all recognition.

HARRY POTTER Three Body Problem by cabezas_de_vaca (gen), 43k, Alternate Hogwarts House Sorting To the girl with the bushy hair and the hungry mind, the Hat says RAVENCLAW; To the boy with the scar and the ask of otherwise, the Hat says SLYTHERIN; To the sixth son who has already chosen the two others, from a chance encounter on a train, the Hat says HUFFLEPUFF; and Flitwick is delighted and Sprout is intrigued and Snape is resigned, to say the least. Or: Perhaps the trio is inevitable everywhere, but in this variation, none of them are in Gryffindor, and they do their best to build things anyway.

CROSSOVER While You Were Missing by basil_coffee_and White Collar x Batman (Jason Todd/Roy Harper), 23k, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Jason!Neal A familiar redheaded child darts across the bullpen with a shout of “PAPA!” and barrels into Jason’s arms. “Lian–” He breathes. Jason's undercover work as Neal Caffrey is difficult for several reasons. He didn't anticipate that single parenting would be one of them, though.

[eggcompany]

Jaskier and his Snuggly Wuggly Killing Machines Part 13

Another Spinoff of our first fic- Jaskier and his snuggly wuggly killing machines.

Jaskier searches for the man the babes call 'papa' Vesemir. He eventually finds out he was adopted out to a woman who lives only an hour away! How do the babies react to getting reunited to their papa?

Lots of crying and cuddling and caring loving witchers.

Jaskier likes talking to the babes. Jaskier likes hearing about their time chasing birds and hunting bunnies when they were young. Jaskier loves hearing about the good things and he appreciates when they talk about the bad things. Bad things being experiments and trials and them getting turned into heartless killers. But Jaskier gets over it because they’re getting better. 

However when the babies talk about these times at Kaer Morhen Institute, they often speak of one man (both bad and good). Vesemir. They said he was an older man who was rather fatherly to them and that he was remarkably smart. They told Jaskier that Vesemir knew about every beast that’s walked the earth and that he knew everything about plants. They spoke of him in rather high regard. 

One day while Jaskier was brushing the boys’ hair and humming an old song, Geralt spoke to Eskel. 

“Do you ever miss Papa Vesemir?” Geralt said as he braided a small section of his hair. 

“Yeah… Do you think they hurt him when they raided the keep? I wish I could give him another hug.” Eskel said and looked down sadly. Jaskier smiled sadly at them. 

“Well do you know if he was out on a farm or an adoption center? Maybe we could find him.” Jaskier said and watched all three of them start to get excited until all three were wagging and nodding their heads smiling. 

“He went to a place for old service pets!” Eskel said and looked at Jaskier. 

“Oh Daddy can you find him? Please please please!” Chanted Geralt. 

“Of course my loves. I’ll call around in the morning. If he’s still retired we might be able to have him over for a day. But remember we might not find him, okay? I’ll try my best but still.” Jaskier said and that was that. 

That night while the babies got comfy in their bed Jaskier was on his laptop. There were four retirement centers for pets. He wrote down their numbers and called in the morning. 

One said they didn’t take in witchers and hung up on him. One said they never had a Vesemir but they had another witcher who had passed away. The other two said they would get back to him once they checked their current and previous records. 

He didn’t mention it to the babies until he knew for sure. The next day one center called. No Vesemir previous or current. The last one called him during dinner. Wilbur’s retirement center for pets and service animals. 

“Hi, is this Mr.Pankratz? You were asking about one of our previous retirees, Vesemir of Kaer Morhen?” The woman said when he said hello. 

“Yes, yes that’s me. You had him? Is he okay? Did he get adopted or pass awa-” Jaskier asked in a flurry as he walked into his recording room. He didn’t want the babies to hear if it was bad news. He was cut off by the lady. 

“Sir, we contacted his current owner and she said Vesemir is doing quite well. She also made it very clear that Vesemir will not be sold. She did ask quite a few questions about you though. She said it would be great if we gave you her number.” The lady said and Jaskier jumped for joy. The babies will be so happy to know their papa is alive and well! Jaskier grabbed a notepad and a pen and quickly wrote down the number and the name of the lovely amazing woman who took in the old wolf. He thanked the center worker immensely and wrote on his pad to send them something nice. 

When Jaskier walked back out to the babies who looked quite nervous and they pushed around their food. Jaskier sat down and took a deep breath. 

“That was the last of the retirement centers.” Jaskier said and watched the boys look at each other. 

“Vesemir was adopted three months after he finished his behavioral training and is happy and healthy living with one Miss Tsuki Moon. I’ll be calling her tomorrow morning. I think she might let us see your papa!” Jaskier said and smiled widely. 

The boys didn’t react for a moment. Lambert broke out in laughs and smiles. Eskel smiled and joined in his baby brother’s laughter. Geralt was silent as he looked down at his plate, hair covering his face. Jaskier got up and came to bend down beside him. 

“Bear, baby, are you not happy? Bad memory or..?” Jaskier said and sat his hand on Geralt’s back. 

Geralt shattered. Sobs racked his body and he looked up to show rivers of tears flowing down his face. Geralt wailed and grabbed around Jaskier’s tummy and shoved his face into Jaskier’s sweatshirt. Lambert and Eskel smiled on and whispered to each other as Geralt sobbed and soaked the front of Jaskier’s shirt with snot and tears and a bit of drool. Jaskier rubbed his back and cooed lightly trying to calm the baby. 

“He was very close to Vesemir… We all kinda assumed the worst. But… papa’s alive. He’s alive. He’s healthy. He’s somewhere with someone nice.” Eskel said and a tear stained down his face too. Lambert was smiling widely and sniffled too. These were Vesemir’s boys too. Vesemir was their papa. 

“Bea-r, Geralt, can we take a breather? You’re gonna hyperventilate, sugar bun.” Jaskier said and pulled back and held onto Geralt’s hands. The boy’s face was a disaster. Snot and tears and drool were all over and his face was splotchy. Jaskier got down so they were face to face and did over dramatic big deep breaths until Geralt was breathing a little better. 

“Papa ‘live. Papa. Papa.” Geralt said and Jaskier got a napkin from the table and wiped his face. 

“Yeah he is. You really love him huh?” He said and Eskel came over to kiss his bubba’s tears away. Lambert leaned over in his seat so he was laying against Geralt’s back.

They got their baths and did their night routine but Geralt stayed unusually quiet and still. 

“Hello! I’m Jaskier or Julian Alfred Pankratz. I was asking about Vesemir yesterday? The people at Wilbur’s gave me this number.” Jaskier said when a small voice answered the phone on the first ring. 

“Oh wonderful! Yes! I’m Tsuki Moon! I’m Vesemir’s caregiver! He’s so happy to know someone asked for him. Him and myself are both curious though for why you called. He’s not for sale and he will not be interviewed for the experiments done at Kaer.” The small crackly voice said. She sounded excited and Jaskier could tell she was walking. 

“Well Ma’am I recently adopted a few witchers that were taken from Kaer Morhen and they have been asking about Vesemir. They refer to him as ‘papa’ and were wondering if you would ever consider letting them see Vesemir?” Jaskier explained and chewed his lip nervously. 

“One moment dear I’ll ask him.” The woman said and he could hear her speak. ‘ Hey darling, it’s the man who was asking about you. He says he has a few pups from the Kaer. He wants to know if you’d like to see them?’ Jaskier heard a deeper rougher voice. ‘ Oh dear Miss Tsuki may I speak to him?’ And Miss Moon spoke again. 

“Julian, would you mind if Vesemir spoke to you himself? I would be happy to have you and the pups over but it’s all up to Vesemir.” The lady said and Jaskier answered with a short “I’d love to talk to him!”. 

“Hello? Mr. Pankratz?” Vesemir said into the phone. His voice was deep and old, used. Jaskier smiled. 

“Hello, Master Witcher, I’m Mr. Pankratz. It’s an honor to speak to you.” Jaskier said and heard a slow laugh on the other end of the line. 

“It has been many years since I’ve been a master witcher, boy. Miss Tsuki tells me you have some of my pups. Who? How are they? When can I see them?” Vesemir said. His voice was heavy with concern. 

“I have Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt. I did know of one other Wolf but he has passed on, his name was Coen. But Geralt is doing well, Lambert is gaining weight, and Eskel is always learning more from reading. They had… a rough go at life after the keep was raided but they’re doing well now. You can see them as soon as I get an address. Oh do you know if Miss Moon has a computer?” Jaskier said and heard a sigh of relief. 

“It’s sad to know about Coen, he was a baby, but I am so glad Lammy and Bear and Eskel are doing well. They are… resilient. Especially Geralt. I will ask for Miss Tsuki’s laptop but why?” Vesemir said and he groaned, he probably stood up. 

“I can skype you! You can see the boys! I’ll go get my laptop and rangle up the pups, they’re playing in the- They are digging a hole in the backyard right now actually. I’m gonna put the phone down and you get a computer and pull up skype!” Jaskier said and ran out to the boys who were standing about a pretty large hole. It was five feet across and probably three feet deep. 

“Boys what are you doing?” Jaskier asked and all the boys smiled widely. Lambert, who was sitting, pointed and said “Hole!” And the other two nodded in agreement. 

“You three… Well I’ve got big news!” Jaskier said and watched them wag and wipe the first off their hands onto their jeans. 

“Vesemir’s on the phone and he’s about to call us on the laptop. Come on and we can see papa!” Jaskier said and stopped the boys when they got to the door. 

“I’ll get you a change of pants. Just put those on the toy bench.” Jaskier said and the boys shucked off their pants and threw them onto the bench. Jaskier fetched his laptop and three pairs of elastic waisted shorts. The boys chatted happily and excitedly as they washed their hands. 

Jaskier tossed their shorts at them while he pulled up Skype and held the phone on his shoulder. He asked Miss Moon for her Skype and the call rang once, the boys were jumping purring. Two rings and the face of a small older woman popped up. Jaskier smiled and hung up the telephone. 

“Hello Miss Moon! These are the boys! Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt! Say hi boys.” Jaskier said and moved so the camera caught all three boys. Geralt had tears rolling down his face but they all smiled and waved. 

“Aw so cute! What pretty boys! And I suppose you all know this cranky old uncle.” Miss Moon said and turned the laptop over to where an old man was sitting at the table. He had one ear that was half cut off and when he smiled he had dulled teeth but he smiled widely. 

“PAPA!!” The boys all called out and cried. Geralt tried not to sob but he was crying hard. Lambert was purring and conked his head against the screen. Eskel was yapping happily. Vesemir smiled and tears pricked his eyes. 

“Boys! You look so healthy! Oh you all… Bear you grew out your hair! Eskel, poor baby. Lammy you look so pudgy! Good boys! You all look so well fed! Oh boys. Boys. My boys. My boys.” Vesemir said and they all smiled and nodded and then the boys grabbed Jaskier to show Vesemir. Eskel was the one to do the talking. 

“Papa, this is daddy! He makes us bread and gets us sweet things and gets us all sorts of stuff like blocks and we have beds like like real beds! Daddy even lets us sleep in his bed with him!” Eskel said and smiled and Jaskier looked at his babies, eyes full of love. Vesemir smiled as tears slid down his face. So many of his boys were gone. His heart was full of ghosts and broken hopes until now. 

“That’s amazing! You seem so happy there! I’m happy here too! Miss Tsuki gave me a room and she lets me spend all day in her library and she buys me plants and lets me cook. Do you boys remember the sweet rolls I would make? Maybe I can make us some when you come over?” The elder said and smiled. The three babes yipped and yapped and jumped. 

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh papa yes yes yes!” The three said. Geralt was full out crying now. 

“My papa loves me still” is all he said before letting the sobs take over. Vesemir smiled at him and a few more tears slid down his scarred cheeks. 

“I do love you Geralt. I’ll always love you all so so so much. I love you all so much.” Vesemir said and sniffled a little bit. Geralt was sobbing loudly and clinging onto Jaskier. 

“I’ll let Miss Tsuki send you the address. When can they be here? Miss Tsuki, do you care when they come to me?” Vesemir asked Jaskier and then looked off to the side. They heard the older woman speak. 

“Anytime they want, darling. Julian? Julian, hun, it’s 327 Melantonsa Drive in Blaviken. We live down a bit of a drive but you can see his windmill from the road. How far do you live from u-”

“DADDY AUNT YENNY LIVES BY THERE” Lambert hollered out over Miss Moon. The boys jumped around and ran off to get their backpacks and get their stuff. Leaving Jaskier laughing a bit. 

“I promise they aren’t heathens. My best friend Yennefer lives over there. We live in Oxenf urt. 001 Lettenhove Lane. We live in the old Pankratz house. I painted it and remodeled it. I think the boys are packing their backpacks. We will be there in… maybe an hour? Maybe less. We’ll see you soon Miss Moon, we’ll be there soon Master Witcher.” Jaskier said and heard thumping and happy yips and rumbling noises from the bedrooms upstairs. 

They said goodbye and Jaskier walked up the stairs. 

Eskel was shoving his favorite soft blanket and some candies into his bag, Geralt was sitting on his floor with his stuffed rabbit putting a brush and one of his other favorite snugglies, a grey and blue fluffy cow, into his bag, and Lambert was putting a few pairs of his thick wool socks and one of his many ‘Comfy’ brand hoodies into his bag. 

Jaskier got his bag. He had each boy a change of clothes, a towel, a few pull ups (sometimes babies have accidents), binkies, and some emergency water and snacks. He walked back out to see the boys helping each other put their shoes on. 

“Do we want to bring papa anything? We can stop by the store if you’d like?” Jaskier said and watched the boys pull on their backpacks. They all were wagging like crazy and Geralt’s face had been cleaned but he was still teary. Jaskier walked down the stairs with the babes behind him. 

“We can always bring him other things if we’re welcomed back. Okay, load up, in the car you go.” Jaskier said and watched the boys climb into their seats in his new ‘mom car’. 

After their first outing he had bought a new car to replace his Lexus, he bought a Volvo XC90. It had much more room and Lammy likes to sleep in the third row sometimes. 

“Okay, off to see papa!” Jaskier said and started to make his way to Blaviken. 

The drive was quiet. The boys looked nervous and picked at their clothes. Eskel had changed into a pair of black sweatpants and his favorite red and black tie dye hoodie shirt. Lambert put on his green joggers and a black oversized hoodie. Geralt had opted for a pair of black lounge shorts and a plain white t-shirt. Jaskier turned on some low quiet music. The boys got antsier and antsier the closer they got. 

When Jaskier told them to look out for a windmill, each boy had his face to the window. When Eskel called out and said he saw it Jaskier turned down the short gravel drive. Soon they were parked in front of a large old stone house that had vines and plants curling around the walls. It had a sort of story book kind of energy about it. 

Miss Moon, who was actually a quite small woman, was standing on the porch. She had on a lovely floral red dress, which Jaskier commented on saying it was beautiful. Miss Moon came to the boys’ shoulders. 

“Come in babies. Vesemir’s in his room getting a few things. Do you boys do the nesting thing?” Miss Moon said as she stopped them in front a pair of wide wooden doors. 

“Y-yes ma’am” Eskel said shyly. Miss Moon smiled then and opened the door. 

“Good! He was running around like crazy trying to get it perfect!” Miss Moon said and let the boys pile in. The doors led to the library. The high walls were covered in bookcases and there was a chair and small table to one side. In the middle there was a huge nest. Blankets, quilts, sheets, pillows, couch cushions, and a few large pads that looked like mattress toppers. 

The boys gasped and dropped their bags at the edge and looked around. When they heard the doors on the opposite side of the room open and a voice call out “Miss Tsuki! I need to find my old journals, my boys-” The boys were running and tackling the older man. 

“Papa! Oh Papa!” There were cries and the sound of kisses and giggles and laughing. Jaskier ran over, fearing the young ones hurt the eldest witcher. 

“Boys! Boys, be more careful you could have hURT-” Jaskier was pulled down into the pile. He was also kissed and nuzzled and licked. Miss Moon whistled loudly and all four witchers stopped. And sat up. 

“Good boys! Nest up and I’ll bring some food. Julian dear, come help me.” The older woman commanded. Jaskier stood up and the boys pulled Vesemir to the nest. They all giggled and laughed. They formed a cuddle pile and kissed and licked and nipped and purred. Tails were swooshing and ears were down and relaxed. Jaskier jumped up and followed the short caregiver. 

“They’re so happy. Sorry they got so excited. They’ve told me a lot about Vesemir. I’m so glad you found him so soon. I just recently found the boys. Such terrible things they do to the poor Witchers.” Jaskier said as he followed Miss Moon to the kitchen were bowls of fruit and a bowl of dried meat. 

“Yes. They put Vesemir through some terrible things too. Behavioral training, pff, more like beating the instincts out of him. I let him do what he pleases. He’s old like me, he can do whatever he wants. He used to go hunt birds now he just plays with slow moths. They even neutered him, everyone knows witchers are sterile.” Miss Moon said as she grabbed a big bowl of fruit. Jaskier agreed and managed the two other bowls of fruit and the bowl of meat. 

“Puppy boys! I fixed a few bowls of fruit, I hope you like fruit, and a nice big bowl of Vesemir’s jerky! Aw you three are such darlings.” Miss Moon said when the young witchers stood up to get the bowls. All four tucked in and started to eat. Miss Moon pulled a chair in from another room and put it next to the one that already occupied the room. 

They watched the boys quietly. They ate and then the boys remembered their backpacks. Eskel pulled out his blanket and wrapped it around Vesemir and then poured the two handfuls of candies into a pile in front of the eldest. Vesemir smiled and thanked him but Geralt was already shoving his stuffed cow into his hands and moving to sit behind him to brush his hair. Vesemir groaned and closed his eyes but Lambert poked his cheek and he opened his eyes again. The youngest pushed away Eskel’s blanket and Geralt’s hands and he pulled the incredibly oversized Comfy hoodie over his head. All three other witchers laughed at him. Geralt situated Eskel’s blanket back and went back to carefully brushing Vesemir’s white hair. Lambert also struggled a bit to pull the wool socks onto Vesemir’s old crankly feet so Eskel helped.  

Vesemir was so relaxed and happy. Once Geralt was done he pulled a big cushion around so Vesemir could lay against it. Then the oldest opened his arms and all the boys piled in and cuddled up to their papa. Small whispers radiated from them. Jaskier caught a few ‘ I love you papa’ ‘I missed you so much’ ‘Gimme ‘ nother kissy’ . He assumed the last was Lambert. 

Jaskier looked over at Miss Moss who was elegantly dabbing at her tears with her sleeve. Jaskier reached over and put his hand on her arm. She looked over at him and he nodded toward the door. They got up and went into the sitting room. 

“You’ll come back, yes?” Was the first thing Miss Moon asked when sat down. She looked concerned. Jaskier smiled and pulled out his phone. 

“We visit my best friend often and she lives only a few roads away. We would have never found you or him. We visit her and they usually stay the night there. Maybe Vesemir could have a sleepover with us one day? I’ll come get him and bring him back here, of course. Hell, if you watched them I could run home and get their overnight bags, if you so wanted.” Jaskier said and the older woman smiled and grabbed his hand. Her hands were so small and thin…

“You are a blessing Julian. A true blessing. I will tell the pups. You hurry back! I’ll have a proper dinner prepared by then!” Miss Moon said and hugged him. They were eye to eye when he was sat down. Jaskier nodded and made his way to the front door. 

Miss Moon would get absolutely sick of them always coming over...

<- Last Chapter Next Chapter ->

[bambirex]

It's A Game We Play: Chapter 6

Pairings: Geraskier, Yennskier, Radskier

Characters: Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia, Yennefer of Vengerberg, Radovid, original female characters, Essi Daven, Priscilla, Ciri of Cintra, Valdo Marx

Additional tags: inspired by Mamma Mia! (movies), crack, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, omega jaskier, alpha geralt, alpha yennefer, beta radovid, awkwardness, jaskier is a good parent, protective jaskier, weddings, found family, post mpreg, fluff and humor, alternate universe - modern setting, Jaskier is having the worst time of his life, valdo is here to make everything worse, confusion, banter, insecure Jaskier, internalized slut shaming, light angst, family drama

Rating: teen and up audiences

Full word count: 16,667 words

Chapter word count: 2,908 words

Chapters: 6/?

Summary: Jaskier's daughter is about to marry the love of her life, and she decides she wants both her parents at her wedding. Only problem is that Jaskier has slept with a little too many people in his youth, so the identity of the other parent is a mystery. That does not stop the bride-to-be from inviting three potential daddy candidates and unleashing absolute chaos in the process.

*

Otherwise known as Jaskier's terrible horrible no good past decisions leading to terrible horrible no good outcomes. Also known as the Mamma Mia! AU nobody asked for, but I wrote it anyway.

Chapter summary: Jaskier has a few things to say to Amaryllis, and someone else has a few things to say to him.

Author's notes: Whoops, this chapter became a little bit more emotional rather than cracky but sometimes we need that too, I guess!

Read on Ao3

*

Sara was the most understanding person Amaryllis has ever met. She accepted her with all her flaws, with her messiness and her stubbornness alike. She truly was going to be the best wife Amaryllis could wish for.

But even her eyebrows shot up higher than a ten-story building when Amaryllis told her about the letters. Sara knew about Amaryllis's wish to find her other parent, of course: she was the first person Amaryllis revealed this to. But she had no idea about the scheme her fiancée cooked up, until now.

For a few moments, she just stared ahead, hands gripping the steering wheel tight. Amaryllis fiddled with her hands nervously, chewing on her lower lip. She watched Sara from the corner of her eye carefully.

"Well," Sara finally said after a long, pregnant silence, "this may have not been your best idea, Baby."

"God, I know," Amaryllis sighed, her shoulders sagging in defeat. "I'm so anxious, I feel like throwing up every minute. Do you know what I did during the emergency inventory? I wrote 'Geralt' instead of 'Gilbert'. All I can think about is how the hell I'm gonna find out the truth."

"Did you even tell them why they're here?"

"Not yet. But that's why I'm heading to the inn, so I can do that."

Sara sent her a somewhat amused look. "I can't believe I'm marrying someone who's hiding three strangers in her father's goat shed."

Amaryllis chuckled. "Well, Baby, I told you you were in for a wild ride."

Sara laughed and reached over to give her thigh a squeeze. "How are you planning to tell them?"

"Honestly. I will walk in there and tell them everything the same way I told you. Then... I don't know. I gotta figure out which one of them is the one. Preferably quickly."

"And how are you planning to tell your papa?"

Well, that was a great question, one that Amaryllis didn't quite know the answer to just yet. She didn't plan further ahead, to be frank. She sort of hoped that she would manage to find out the truth via clandestine meetings with the candidates, and by the time she had the answer she needed, she could bring him or her to Jaskier. Because deep in her heart, she also hoped that she could help rekindle that old flame with the "winner". Judging by the way Jaskier wrote about these three in his diary, it was clear he had very deep feelings for them. And since they all rushed here when they thought Jaskier wrote to them, it seemed like they weren't quite neutral about him, either.

Maybe Amaryllis could find that passionate, deep love for her papa that she knew he deserved.

"I'll figure it out," she replied, staring out the window with a sigh. She could only hope this will go without a hitch.

"Oh, by the way," Sara said as she parked outside of the inn, "my mom is taking the wedding planner role away from your papa."

"What do you mean?"

"She invited some band. Something... Huh. I forgot their name. I just know that their frontman used to be a theater kid who made it big."

"I hope it's not Valdo Marx and his band," Amaryllis rolled her eyes. She's never met the guy but she hated him on principle because of his past with her father. But that would have been too weird of a coincidence, so there was no way.

Sara shrugged, clueless about the music scene as always. It made Amaryllis smile.

"I gotta deal with the goat shed situation," she said, leaning over to tuck one of Sara's dreadlocks behind her ear. "I'll call you when I'm done, okay?"

"Good luck," Sara chuckled, then kissed her fiancée on the lips. "Refrain from doing any more drastic stuff."

"Can't promise anything."

Amaryllis took a deep breath after she got out of the car. She gave Sara one last wave before she drove away, then, she cracked her neck and started walking.

She didn't get very far because she nearly peed her pants when someone yelled at her.

"Hold it!"

Amaryllis stopped dead in her tracks. She turned around slowly, coming face to face with Jaskier who marched towards her, his eyes murderous.

"Papa?" Amaryllis tried weakly. Jaskier put his hands on his hips as he glared at her.

"What were you thinking," Jaskier started, his voice wavering slightly before he pulled himself together. "What was the plan, huh?"

"I... I don't know what..."

"Don't play dumb with me, Amaryllis, we both know you're too smart for that. Tell me, what went through your head when you decided to write letters in my name and send them to my ex lovers."

Shit. Amaryllis felt her heart drop when she realized what happened.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, ducking her head down, "I know it was stupid, but..."

"Have you stopped for a second to consider how I would feel?"

The genuine pain in Jaskier's voice made Amaryllis's heart clench. She didn't dare look him in the eyes.

"That dragging three people I used to be romantically involved with here, after decades, may not make me too happy? How long were you going to keep this from me, by the way?"

"I wanted to tell you after I figured out who's the other parent," Amaryllis said, feeling stupider by the moment. What sounded like a cool idea first was now looking out to be the worst mistake she's ever made.

"How?" Jaskier scoffed. "And then, what? They escort you to your wedding, walk you down the aisle and then piss off from the island?"

"No," Amaryllis looked up. She bit her lip when she saw tears in Jaskier's eyes. "I was hoping that... you and my other parent would..."

Jaskier raised an eyebrow. "That we would what?"

"That maybe you would get together again," Amaryllis whispered. Jaskier released a shaky breath before he cursed under his nose quietly.

"Wonderful idea. Absolutely peachy."

The sarcastic tone of his voice dropped to a pained one. "How could you do this to me? And them? God, especially them! Now they have to deal with the knowledge that they may have an adult kid they didn't even know about!"

Amaryllis's eyes widened in horror, and she could feel all the blood rush to her head.

"You... you told them why they're here?"

"Sorry for stealing your thunder," Jaskier scoffed. "I mean, that's why they're here. I bet they're all very happy with this information. They're probably doing a circle dance as we speak."

Amaryllis groaned. She did not mean for everything to collapse like that - this was meant to have a more natural progression, in which this information was passed over more sensitively. But she may have expected too much. After this idiotic scheme that she pulled, she should've probably seen things would turn on their head.

"Papa, I'm so sorry," Amaryllis whispered. She swallowed heavily. "I didn't want to hurt you."

Jaskier sighed. He shook his head, shoulders slumping. He looked so tired, so defeated, and it was all Amaryllis's fault. God, she wanted to slap herself for this.

"I'm not mad at you," Jaskier said quietly, "but I'm very disappointed. Because you stole my diary, and you lied to these three poor sods who could've merrily gone on with their lives otherwise, and now we have to figure out what to do."

He looked at Amaryllis with another sigh. "I guess we can't just send them home after a revelation like that."

"What do I do now, Papa?" Amaryllis whimpered, tears running down her face. She felt like a child again, who made a huge mess and then pleaded for her father to help fix the things she broke. Like the vases in the lobby, Jaskier's acoustic guitar - and now his heart.

"I don't know," Jaskier whispered. He wiped at his face before he reached out and wiped off Amaryllis's tears as well. "I need to be alone now a little bit."

"Do you hate me now?" Amaryllis cried. Jaskier shook his head as he pulled her into a hug. Amaryllis hid her face in his neck as she sobbed.

"I could never," Jaskier promised. "But this was a shitty thing to do, and we have to untangle this mess somehow."

He pulled back, giving Amaryllis's arm one last squeeze.

"I think you should go and talk to them. They deserve to hear it from you, as well."

Amaryllis nodded. She hoped there was a way to fix this at all.

--

Jaskier slumped down on the stairs with a heavy sigh. He was sure he looked a sight with his red-rimmed eyes and smeared eyeliner.

He fiddled with his fingers as his thoughts raced in his head. Old emotions, deeply buried memories danced through his mind, mixed with new, confusing feelings. He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do now.

"You okay? No, obviously not. What a stupid question."

Jaskier whipped around at the voice, confused. He recognized the blonde teenage girl he's seen in the lobby before. He tried his best to give her a convincing smile.

"I wasn't eavesdropping," she said, "but I overheard you fighting with your daughter."

"That's okay," Jaskier waved a dismissive hand, "we're gonna be okay."

The girl sat next to him on the stairs. For a few moments, she didn't say anything.

"I'm Ciri," she eventually said with a little smile. She radiated a sort of positive energy that made Jaskier smile despite the turmoil inside him.

"Jaskier."

"I know."

Jaskier quirked an eyebrow at him. Ciri grinned.

"I know a lot."

"Kind of ominous, but okay," Jaskier chuckled. Ciri shrugged.

"I've met Amaryllis. She's really sweet."

"You have?"

"Yeah. She dropped me off in the lobby before she took my dad and the other two to the goat shed, and I'm not telling on her now because you found out already."

Jaskier's attention caught on one single word, a word that made his eyes widen.

"Your dad?"

"Geralt," Ciri clarified. Jaskier blinked at her. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Ciri didn't seem to notice his bewilderment.

"I knew there was something between you two in the past even before we came here. He was in such a frenzy when he got the letter. All blushy and everything."

"Okay, wait," Jaskier croaked, "let's recap, shall we? Geralt... he's your father?"

"Yeah."

Jaskier counted to ten in his head to make sure he wouldn't curse like a sailor in front of a child.

"And...where's your mom? Or your other father?" Jaskier asked, already dreading the answer. Of course, Geralt had a family in the meantime. Of course, he got married and had a kid. Like he deserved, obviously. But the idea that Geralt was mated to someone still caused a spike of jealousy to flare up inside him, for some reason.

"I don't know," Ciri said. "I'm adopted."

"Oh."

"Yeah, he adopted me when I was ten. I was passed from foster parents to foster parents before he took me in. He's awkward. And a hermit. But I love him, and he's a great dad."

Jaskier tried his best to stop imagining a ten years old Amaryllis getting a piggyback ride from Geralt. He bit down on his lip, hard.

"Okay," he whispered once he felt like he managed to pull himself together a little. "Well, that's good to know."

"I think he still has feelings for you," Ciri said casually while she fished around in her pocket for something. She offered a little tube to a gaping Jaskier. "Chewing gum?"

"No, thanks," Jaskier could barely get the words out. His mind was whirring like an industry machine as he tried to comprehend what Ciri just told him.

"What...what makes you think that?"

"They all do, actually. Nearly got into a fight over you on the boat. Growling at each other and everything."

Now, this really shouldn't have made him feel satisfied. Damn his stupid Omega hormones that made him nearly purr at the thought.

Yeah, his head was really confused and he needed to straighten it out.

"It was kinda fun," Ciri admitted with a giggle. "Dad even growled at his ex."

"His what?" Jaskier choked out. Ciri nodded, blowing a bubble of her gum simply, as if she didn't keep causing Jaskier mini heart attacks with everything she said.

"Yennefer. They dated, too. And you also dated all of them, so, that must be pretty tough."

'Tough' couldn't even begin to describe what Jaskier thought of this situation. He put his head in his hands, trying not to pass out. He still hoped this was just a bad dream, and he would wake up, and see that none of this happened.

"Does Amaryllis know you're Geralt's daughter?" Jaskier asked, his voice wavering slightly.

"I don't know," Ciri said, a little confused. "Why does it matter?"

Jaskier sighed. He wasn't sure how to put into words what the knowledge that Geralt had a child meant to him, and he had no idea how Amaryllis would feel about it, either. But then again, Geralt didn't even know of Amaryllis's existence up until this point, and he had every right to move on. With Yennefer (another weird bit of information), or anyone else.

"That's a conversation you need to have with your dad," Jaskier replied. He twisted one of his rings around his finger with a groan.

"It matters," Ciri started, her voice a little forlorn, "because she thinks maybe my dad is her dad, too, right?"

"God," Jaskier sighed, "I hate that so many people got dragged into this."

"It's weird," Ciri admitted softly. "That maybe my father has another kid. That maybe I have a sister. Or maybe not, if she's Yennefer's or Radovid's. Don't look at me like that, I told you I overheard you. And I kind of managed to put some pieces together on my own, anyways."

She reached out and patted Jaskier's shoulder a little awkwardly.

"I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the shitstorm."

"Thanks," Jaskier whispered. Ciri hummed, before she got up and left, leaving Jaskier alone with the most intense emotions he has ever felt in his entire life.

--

It felt like there was no more oxygen left in the shed. Geralt's head pounded as he sat down on a box with a heavy sigh. He wiped his clammy palms on his jeans.

Nobody said anything, and Geralt didn't blame the other two, at all. He also had no clue what he was supposed to say after what they just found out.

He looked at Yennefer who had her hands clenched into fists. Her face was a mask of sheer agony as she kicked a cabbage that fell out of the bucket. The goats leapt after it with a happy bleat.

Geralt knew from the time he spent dating her, that it was smarter not to speak to her right now.

He glanced towards Radovid who had his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes distant and exhausted.

Geralt stood from the box and stepped over to him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, not completely sure why. He didn't even know why he suddenly felt like talking, considering he was very good with silence, usually. He might have wanted someone else to put what he felt into words, since he couldn't.

"After I found out I might have an illegitimate child?" Radovid sighed. "Not very great."

"Of course the guy who named his tarantula Franz Joseph would say illegitimate," Geralt chuckled. There was a fleeting smile on Radovid's face, before it turned into a frown again.

"How do you feel knowing that Ciri might have a sister?"

Geralt hummed. "Shitty, I guess. Not even sure why."

"I know why," Yennefer chimed in with a huff. "Because we deserved to know. I've wanted a kid for so long, and maybe I actually have one, but I didn't even have half the chance to meet them."

"Okay, let's not pin all of this on Jaskier," Radovid said, "he must have been terrified."

Yennefer's shoulders dropped, and she let out a sigh. "You're right. This wasn't fair of me."

"It's understandable you feel emotional," Geralt told her softly. Yennefer looked at him, an unreadable expression on her face. "We all do, after this. And we all need to figure out how to cope."

They heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. They all turned around to see Amaryllis in the door of the shed, shifting from one foot to the other.

Geralt felt an indescribable emotion squeeze at his chest when he looked at her. She might have been his child. And even if not, she was a piece of that person he loved so much. The fact she looked so much like him didn't help.

"Hi," Amaryllis said quietly. Her nervous, but endearing chatter that they experienced at the docks was nowhere to be seen now.

"Hey," Geralt greeted her. Amaryllis tried to smile, but it wobbled badly.

"Uhm... I'm glad you all came, and... I think it's time we also talked. Like, actually talked."

"Yeah," Yennefer breathed. She tried to offer Amaryllis a smile of her own, but she also failed at it. Radovid didn't quite manage either.

Geralt closed his eyes and prayed that he would somehow wake up from this weird dream.

[ao3feed-witcher-dddne]

by E_Greer

Shameless, he watched Geralt lift a very full, waxed linen bucket from the burbling stream. The muscles in Geralt’s forearms bulged as he kept the handles apart, keeping the bucket from collapsing. Without so much as a grunt, Geralt put the big bucket beside Jaskier’s little fire pit.

Jaskier did appreciate a big, strong individual. Aesthetically. Respectfully.

Words: 1311, Chapters: 1/8, Language: English

Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage

Categories: M/M

Characters: Minor Yennafer (the Witcher)

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

Additional Tags: Minor Jaskier & Yennafer, Papa Vesemir, post fall of Kaer Morhen, POV Jaskier | Dandelion, not a slow burn, Non-Consensual Body Modification, indirect references to off-screen child sexual abuse, not Kaer Morhen mage friendly, Sugar Daddy Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, all these minor OCs have extensive backstories thank you very much, Cuddling & Snuggling, hfn, less angst than I meant to have, Yennafer absolutely has a bag of holding, Roach has friends, Geralt gets hurt and Jaskier makes it better, all apologies to the horse folk among us, I did my best, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Under-negotiated Kink, but zero regrets, yes I did enjoy sliding in the medieval educational philosophy, I skimmed so many peer reviewed journal articles for this fic

Read on AO3

[raewritesfiction]

Gimme an Alex dick fic where girlfriend meets Papa Skarsgard (Stellan) via face time - right after Alex has fucked her silly and she's happily all over him when the laptop rings and Alex reaches for it, "It's fine, darlin', it's just my pop."

She screeches just a little knowing that her hair looks a fright and it's so obvious from both of their faces just exactly what they've been doing (and of course soooo well). Alex hugs her up, makes sure no naughty bits are showing, kisses her cheek lovingly, and as he opens the laptop says, "Hey dad, meet my best girl. I didn't schedule my time very well, did I?"

Stellan chuckles, "Finally someone you must be serious about. [To the girlfriend] Dont fret, my dear, I've known him all his life. He obviously cares for you to subject you so to me, and I know I will care for you too. I'm glad to meet you, next time under different circumstances."

Alex is giggling and hugging her like she's never getting away as Stellan goes on, "Now Alex, tell me when you will bring her home with you and let her up for fuck's sake."

OK - after the Renner Opus. Just a little girlfriend mortification for fun with Our Viking. "A goddamn vampire..." Alex said some good shit in that for shit interview. Obviously Amleth, Tarzan, Eric Northman and Sweet Jimmy Foster would fuck (not to be outdone at all by Jaskier).

Kisses on your opening - xoxoxo

(That was the best card w/flowers I got on opening night for the only play I was ever in - and they meant it just like that.)

I’ll see what I can do xD

[ao3feed-hannor]

It's Always Hump Day at Friend Onion in Detrevachol

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44062522 by sevdrag (seventhe) Harry du balls Bois is wearing his best camel costume, trying to unite his favorite food trucks to save them from an impending shutdown. Unfortunately, he’s drunk at 10:22 am, and Kim Kitsuragi’s weed of the week is too hardcore. Will he be able to pull it off? An absolute roundhouse of a crossover for Worms' birthday. Words: 10499, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English Fandoms: Disco Elysium (Video Game), Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen, M/M Characters: Jean Vicquemare, Trant Heidelstam, Hank Anderson, Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Harry Du Bois, Kim Kitsuragi, Cuno (Disco Elysium), Gavin Reed, Judit Minot, Upgraded Connor | RK900, CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Jaskier | Dandelion, Ensemble Cast - Character, for so many fandoms im not listing them Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor, Harry Du Bois/Kim Kitsuragi Additional Tags: If you only read one work by me, please go read Old Vines, don't make it this one, Gift Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack Treated (TOO) Seriously, Illustrated, get detrevachold idiot, at the corner of boogie and woogie streets, Canon-Typical Depression, canon-typical suicidal tendencies, mostly for jean, who can’t go two sentences without wanting to put his head in his own fryer, parts were written while drunk but the magic of DE canon is that you can’t tell which, canon-typical use and discussion of alcohol, meaning like a lot, where by canon-typical we mean sev-typical, as in sev drank hugely inadvisable amounts of brandy and then wrote this fic, Huge - Freeform, balltors, Thick? YES!!!, fossilize me papa, papa (paypal), bones are bones, oh tumblr you thought i was mad before?, make an appointment with your balltor!, Succulent, i had way too much fun with shivers, appreciate me worms, draw me more slutty connor, blame bee. Always blame bee, [kim voice] this is bee’s fault, [kim voice] im balling on your weiner until you onion, or something like that idk i didnt play the game read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44062522

[dapandapod]

#15 of the hug prompts for the pairing of your choice 🥰

15. Glomp hug

Yes my sweet, of course you can! I accidenlty got Dadralt feelings, and then it had to be so.

Please enjoy some domestic super fluff and sillyness. I accidently got very soft. Hope you had a nice day at work <3<3

Send me hug prompts?

On Ao3 Hug collection here

“I’m hooome!”

The house is suspiciously quiet when Geralt opens the door and puts down his jacket and work bag. He can hear excited giggling from somewhere, and hushing.

“He’s coming, he’s coming!”

“Shh Ciri, he will hear us.”

Geralt smiles and pretends he actually didn’t hear.

“Anyone here?” He calls, making a show of looking around the living room. Nobody behind the couch, or under the coffee table. Nothing behind the curtains. That leaves the kitchen or the bedrooms. Geralt puts his money on the kitchen, so he walks the other way, towards the bedroom.

“Are you sleeping? Any cubs tucked in?” He says loudly, stepping over a big stuffed lion and three toy cars. He opens Ciri’s room first, and it is just as dark as expected, and as messy. The ukulele he bought her lays on the bed together with her favorite morning slippers, complete with a pattern of small potatoes.

He will never understand what is so funny about that, but he supports her in everything.

“Hellooooo?” He calls, shuffling around.

Behind him he can hear more giggling and whispering.

“You think he will find us?” She whispers.

“No, we have the best hiding place.” Jaskier assures her.

Meaning, they are hiding in the little pantry. Geralt smiles and moves to the next bedroom, peering into their own bedroom, almost as messy as Ciri’s room, but with fewer toys.

Except for that ridiculous, giant stuffed unicorn that Yennefer gave Jaskier for his birthday.

“Any husbands and children in here?” He asks the dark room, and as expected, no reply.

Alright, it is time to explore the kitchen.

The excited whispers and hushing becomes louder as Geralt approaches the kitchen with deliberately loud steps.

And as predicted, Ciri can’t contain herself any longer.

She bursts out through the door, launching herself around Geralt’s legs.

“DAAAD!” She yells. “HERE WE ARE!”

Geralt expected the impact, but the little rascal is getting bigger every day.

“Darling, what a surprise!” He exclaims, hoisting his five year old up into his arms.

“Didn’t expect that at all, did you?” She asks excitedly. “We hid very well!”

“You did!” Geralt agrees, kissing her little cheek. “Is papa in there still hiding?”

“Shhh, papa said not to say.” She whispers loudly, smiling with mischief.

“Hmmm. Then we better go take a look.”

Ciri squirms with excitement in his arms when they walk into the kitchen. All is silent, nothing out of order, except for the pair of mismatched socks sticking out from behind the curtain of the pantry.

“I wonder where papa could possibly be.” Geralt asks Ciri.

Right on time, Jaskier jumps out from behind the curtain, arms raised as if he was a monster, and makes a silly roaring sound.

“RAAAWWR!” He yells and Ciri shrieks in delight. “I’m the terrible Papasaurus, and I eat little princess cubs for dinner!!”

Jaskier bares his teeth and then he jumps towards them, looking completely ridiculous, and wraps his arms around them both, burying his head in Ciri’s tiny shoulder pretending to bite her.

Geralt loves this man so much he aches. As soon as Ciri has wriggled herself out of his arms and fled to the safety of the couch Geralt pulls Jaskier into a kiss.

Warm, soft and perfect.

“Welcome home.” Jaskier murmurs against his lips, eyes sparkling.

“Thank you, Julek.” Geralt murmurs back, enjoying the shiver that runs through his husband when he says the pet name.

“I love you.” Jaskier whispers, kissing Geralt again.

“YOU CAN’T CATCH MEEEE!” Ciri calls from the couch, impatiently waiting for Papasaurus to make another appearance.

“No princess snacks before proper dinner.” Geralt teases, patting Jaskier’s butt as he makes his way to chomp on their little princess.

“No promises.” Jaskier grins, and then he is making roaring noises again, lunging after their shrieking child on the couch.

[witchersgoldenbard]

I have been called out

brought to you by the ever-lovely @deeplywornletters 💛

[0dde11eth]

Papa vesemir: I owe you big time. Anything

Jaskier: *takes him to a bouncy trampoline park* isn't this the best!?

[oh-for-fic-sake-library]

Oneshots Drabbles

Here are all my oneshots drabbles and headcannons. you can find my long ongoing chaptered fics here on my Chaptered Stories Masterlist. and you can find my shorter series list here Ficlet masterlist

Disclaimer and my stance on RPF

Geeking Out (Henry Cavill X Reader/Fluff)

Babies New Specs  (Henry Cavill X Little Reader-Fluff)

The Shoe Policy (Henry Cavill X Reader-Domestic)

Grand Theft Auto(Henry Cavill+Kal X Reader-Domestic)

Dress Codes, Nooky And Cock Blocks (Henry Cavill+ Kal X Reader- Domestic/Fluff/🥵)

Kal And Fatherhood (Henry Cavill+Kal X Reader-Fluff)

A Rainy day (Henry Cavill x Reader- Angst/Fluff/🥵)

Lemme See!! (Henry Cavill x Pierced/Tattooed Reader-Fluff)

Mummy’s Jealous Boy (Henry Cavill X Wife!Reader- Fluff, angst)

Pooh Bear (Henry Cavill+ Kal X Reader- Fluff)

Your Man In Action (Henry Cavill X Reader-Fluff)

Another Birthday Surprise (Henry Cavill+Kal X Reader-Fluff slight Angst)

A Clumsy Nugget (Henry Cavill X Little!Reader- Fluff)

Beanie Baby (Henry Cavill+Kal X Reader-Implied Smut,Fluff,Domestic)

Baby Snuggles… Drink and wet? (Henry Cavill X Reader/CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!/Fluff/Humour)

Forever Home (Henry Cavill X Reader- Fluff)

The Date (Henry Cavill X Reader-Fluff)

Deeper Then The Pink Tax (Henry Cavill X Reader- Angst/ Fluff/ Difficult subjects)

Their Alright… For A Boomer (Henry Cavill X BustyReader- Fluff, Suggestive)

Love Is Blind (Henry Cavill X Shelby!Reader- Peaky Blinders AU- Angslt,Fluff)

Your Perfect (Henry Cavill X Reader- ABO,Fluff, Angst)

The Mortals Claiming (Hades!Henry X Reader- god AU, Angst, Smut)

Fledgling (Vampire!Henry X Reader)

The Rubber Glove Experience (Henry X Nurse!Reader)

Panic In The Playroom (Daddy!Henry x Little!Reader)

The Assistants Assistance (Henry X Reader)

The Talc Slip Up (Henry X Reader/Humour/Fluff) 

Chubby Rodent (Henry X Reader/Fluff)

Bubbles (Daddy!Henry X Little!Reader/Fluff/Humour)

Everything Works (Henry X Reader/Fluff/Humour)

Bring It On Bitch (Clark Kent X Reader-Fluff)

Ace In The Hole (Diana Prince X Teen Reader-Fluff?)

FUCK OFF! (Bruce Wayne X Reader-Domestic/Fluff)

A Soft Bunny~ (Clark Kent X Reader -🥵/PetPlay)

Mounting Mistakes  (Clark Kent X Reader- 🥵/ABO)

The Ruined Cape (Clark Kent X Bratty Little Reader-Spanking)

L-Latex?!(Clark Kent X  Mistress/Domme Reader-Humour/Fluff/Domestic )  

We Didn’t Make It To My Birthday (Alpha!Clark Kent X Younger Omega Reader- A/B/O, 🥵)    

Clark The God Of Munch (Clark Kent X Reader-🥵)

Lacking (Clark Kent X Reader-🥵)

Numb (Clark Kent X Daughter Reader- Angst/ Mental Health Issues)

A Breeding Bunny (Dark!Clark X Reader-🥵Dark Fic)

I Cant Feel My Legs (Dark!Clark X Reader/ A/B/O 🥵)

Super-Hubby Proof (Clark X Reader/ BDSM/ Humor/🥵)

(Taming A Pa-Bear(Platonic!Geralt X Reader/Fluff/Angst?Homour)

The Witcher’s Missus (Geralt X Reader/Angst/🥵)

Nanma? (Geralt x Mage!reader/ Jaskier X Reader Platonic/fluff/crackfic/suggestive)

Hybrid Oil (Geralt X Reader/ suggestive/ Angry Geralt)

Mine (ALpha!Geralt X Omega!Reader/ angry Geralt/ABO)

A Family (platonic Geralt X Reader/ Angst/Spanking/Fluff)

Your Best Idea (Napoleon Solo x Wife Reader-Fluff/Domestic)

My Phone Died…Sorry?(Walter X Reader/Fluff/Angst/Immplied smut)

A Little Crime Spree (Papa!Sherlock X Little Reader- Spanking)

His Grace’s Protection (Charles Brandon X Reader- Fluff/Angst)

They Hung Up (August Walker X Little!Reader- Fluff)

She Calls Me Daddy 🥵(August Walker X Reader Daddy Kink-Smut Exhibitionism)

Use The Zipties (Walter Marshal x Drunk!Reader)

Manny (Sy x Drunk!Reader)

The Graves Case (Sherlock X Reader)

OCD Christmas (Walter X Reader/ Fluff)

Dick Christmas (August X Reader/ cavillmas challenge/ smut)🥵

Finish What You Stared (Walter X Reader/ Foot Kink/ Suggestive/Fluff)

My Little Trinket (Dark!Charles X Reader/dark fic)

Math?!(Daddy!August X Brat!Reader/DDLG)

A Lil’Lady (Mob Boss Sy X Reader/ fluff)

Hitman Daddy Dom (Daddy!August X Little!reader/DDLG/Fluff)

Adoption Day (Daddy!Henry X Little!Reader/ DDLG/Fluff/Angst)

Please Do Daddy (Daddy!Walter X Subby!Reader/ daddy kink/ sugestive)

A Kept Woman (August X Reader/ dark themes/kidnap)

Princess (Sy X Reader/ Fluff/Humour)

Soft!Bdsm Relationship Dom!Henry Sub!Nurse

Wearing Plugs on a date Dom!Henry 🥵

Being A Jealous Little At A Party Daddy!Henry

Scolded By Another Daddy In Front Of Daddy!Henry

Tangled In Knots DDLG

When Your Knee Is Injured DDLG

A Maintenance Spanking DDLG

Caught Pigging Out DDLG

An Inner Ear Infection DDLG

Helping With Hate DDLG

Pms and Headache remedies DDLG🥵

Insomnia /Trouble Waking In The Morning DDLG

Caught Listening To Bratty Songs DDLG

Getting Scared Watching MI6 DDLG

Cutting Your Hair DDLG

Henry Answers A Zoom Call With Pretty Hair DDLG

Story time Wisdom teeth DDLG

Tooth Fairy Haggle DDLG

The accident DDLG

Sherbert and baths DDLG

The Icecream Van DDLG

Slapping Daddies Hand DDLG

Superman’s Dishcloth

Couples Race

Sugar haul DDLG 

Yeah Daddy DDLG

Baby Hustle

A Headcannon Crack Series- Geralt see’s an opportunity to add to his family and finally have something both he and Yennefer have always wanted. A baby, now they just had to figure out how to look after it.

The Exchange / / Got Milk? / / Your Turn / /Hmm…Hm? / /Lil’Bleater

Misc

Vesemir and Geralt bath sharing M/F/M

Playing With August’s Knives DDLG

The Deal (Clark X Reader X August)🥵 / / Pt 2  / / Pt3🥵?

Malicious Compliance (Sherlock X Reader)

Coming Home Drunk (August X Drunk!Reader)

April Fools! (Sy X Reader) slight smut 🥵

Mocki (Sy X Reader)

Hair Pulling  101 Dom!Henry

A Latte (Henry Cavill X Reader- Fluff)

Swallow-Geralt Of Rivia

Ducky- Humphrey Mummy!Domme

The Making Of Sy’s Mini Me- Sy Smut

Walter Told You Not To Touch! Walter implied smut?

“Pull out” “No”-Sy Smut

Little Office Bunny- August implied smut

Jewel In The Crown August Walker

[onthesandsofdreams]

Sleepless Nights

Fandom: The Witcher (TV)  Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x Reader  Rating: T Summary: The five sleepless nights you spend with Geralt and the one were you both sleep. Words: 1063 Notes: Mention of illness Tagging: @flashfictionfridayofficial​

Read @ AO3

The first sleepless night you spent with Geralt was when he stumbled into your cottage looking worse for wear. Not to mention the fever that was making him miserable, he did not have it in him to argue with you as you helped inside and began tending to him, doing your best to make sure he would heal as quickly as possible.

His distrustful eyes followed you around as you made the potions and teas necessary to help him, and even went as far as give a drink of each to prove to him it wasn't poison.

You were a healer that worked with plants and knew best what to make to help with common illnesses and some poisons. But Geralt did not know you yet, so you understood his worry. Fortunately, he came to trust you after you had spent the night at his side, putting cold wet rags on his forehead and body to help him cool.

The next morning, once the fever had broken, he had tried to pay you, but you would not hear of it. You had offered your help for free and would not charge him for this one time.

That was how you two became friends.

*

The second sleepless night you spent with Geralt, was when he was traveling with Jaskier.

Oh, the bard was charming and talented, but you rebuffed his advances and offered him a bed for him to sleep after dinner. You and Geralt had remained at the table, wine on hand and simply speaking quietly to each other of the things you both had seen and done.

You did not realize how fast time passed until you heard your rooster greet the sun. But you did not mind at all, Geralt was great company once you got to know him, and considering he had become a friend after you had healed him, he was.

The day they left, you sent him off with bundles of herbs and teas in case they were necessary for healing. Geralt thanked you quietly and Jaskier made a show of kissing your hand.

You waved them off and told them to come back whenever.

*

The third sleepless night you spent with Geralt was another emergency. Fortunately or unfortunately, this time was Jaskier who needed help.

According to Geralt, the bard had pissed off someone who had somehow managed to hurt him when Geralt was busy with purchasing food and traveling equipment. So, once again, you slipped easily into healer mode and did your absolute best to make sure Jaskier did not died.

Even if Geralt denied it, the bard was his friend and you knew that he would be upset should Jaskier were to die. That whole lie about Witchers having no feelings was just that, a lie. One that you understood why people believed and Witchers did their best not to dispel, it's easy to hurt someone by hurting those they care for.

Luckily, Jaskier pulled through and this time, Geralt did paid you... by hiding a few gold coins among your jars for you to discover after they were gone.

*

The fourth sleepless night you spent with Geralt was when he finally admitted to have trouble sleeping.

That had brought you into a halth, you usually did not have to deal with something as bad sleeplessness as Geralt's before. Usually, your tea blend for sleep was enough, but it did nothing for Geralt.

So, you had spent a whole night trying different mixes and quantities to help him. You could not have him be unable to sleep under your roof, so even if you did not find the cure that night, you vowed to him and yourself to find the solution and make him a special blend for him to sleep.

Geralt had smiled at your determination and said, "And that's why I trust and care for you."

And you knew how precious both were.

*

The fifth sleepless night you spent with Geralt, was the day you had met Ciri.

The Princess was tired, but you sensed the anger boiling beneath the surface, but you knew that if anyone could be able to handle her, it would be Geralt. He was already in full papa bear mode and it amused you seeing him so, after all, this man had not wanted his child surprise and yet, you were sure anyone who so much even looked at Ciri wrong, they would meet with Geralt's sword.

After dinner, and sending Ciri to bed, you two spoke about everything once more. Made plans to make sure that Ciri would be safe and you had promised that she would always have a house and home in your cottage should Ciri ever need it.

Geralt had been thankful, and on a moment of impulse, had invited you to Kaer Morhen to meet his fellow Witchers.

You accepted with a smile knowing how rare this gift was.

*

It was in Kaer Morhen, after dinner and when most Witchers had gone to their bed, that Geralt had asked if you two could talk. You accepted, why wouldn't you?

In the privacy of his room, you two spoke of the future of things to do and how you would be safe in an ever growing unsafe world. He invited you to remain at Kaer Morhen. "I already spoke with Vesemir about it, he would welcome your expertice in healing." Then, he licked his lips and quickly looked away. "I would feel much better too, knowing that you are protected."

You smiled at him and cupped his cheek, "Then, I'll stay. Everything I have in my cottage can be replaced, and I already brought my most precious things. Perhaps I could go back only for my books, but I would stay." You took a deep breath, "There's something that feels right about it."

Geralt smiled with relief. "Good, then, there is something else I must admit." You looked at him and waited. "That I have fallen in love with you."

Your heart jumped to your throat and your hands shook, you were attracted to him. Possibly loved him too, but you had resigned yourself to simple friendship. "I love you too," your voice was breathless when you admitted it.

Geralt leaned downwards and gently took you in his arms and kissed you.

That was the first night you two slept in each other's arms.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Oneshot Masterlist

 Here are all my oneshots drabbles and headcannons. you can find my long ongoing chaptered fics here on my Chaptered Stories Masterlist. and you can find my shorter series list here Ficlet masterlist

Disclaimer and my stance on RPF

Geeking Out (Henry Cavill X Reader/Fluff)

Babies New Specs  (Henry Cavill X Little Reader-Fluff)

The Shoe Policy (Henry Cavill X Reader-Domestic)

Grand Theft Auto(Henry Cavill+Kal X Reader-Domestic)

Dress Codes, Nooky And Cock Blocks (Henry Cavill+ Kal X Reader- Domestic/Fluff/🥵)

Kal And Fatherhood (Henry Cavill+Kal X Reader-Fluff)

A Rainy day (Henry Cavill x Reader- Angst/Fluff/🥵)

Lemme See!! (Henry Cavill x Pierced/Tattooed Reader-Fluff)

Mummy’s Jealous Boy (Henry Cavill X Wife!Reader- Fluff, angst)

Pooh Bear (Henry Cavill+ Kal X Reader- Fluff)

Your Man In Action (Henry Cavill X Reader-Fluff)

Another Birthday Surprise (Henry Cavill+Kal X Reader-Fluff slight Angst)

A Clumsy Nugget (Henry Cavill X Little!Reader- Fluff)

Beanie Baby (Henry Cavill+Kal X Reader-Implied Smut,Fluff,Domestic)

Baby Snuggles… Drink and wet? (Henry Cavill X Reader/CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!/Fluff/Humour)

Forever Home (Henry Cavill X Reader- Fluff)

The Date (Henry Cavill X Reader-Fluff)

Deeper Then The Pink Tax (Henry Cavill X Reader- Angst/ Fluff/ Difficult subjects)

Their Alright… For A Boomer (Henry Cavill X BustyReader- Fluff, Suggestive)

Love Is Blind (Henry Cavill X Shelby!Reader- Peaky Blinders AU- Angslt,Fluff)

Your Perfect (Henry Cavill X Reader- ABO,Fluff, Angst)

The Mortals Claiming (Hades!Henry X Reader- god AU, Angst, Smut)

Fledgling (Vampire!Henry X Reader)

Bring It On Bitch (Clark Kent X Reader-Fluff)

Ace In The Hole (Diana Prince X Teen Reader-Fluff?)

FUCK OFF! (Bruce Wayne X Reader-Domestic/Fluff)

A Soft Bunny~ (Clark Kent X Reader -🥵/PetPlay)

Mounting Mistakes  (Clark Kent X Reader- 🥵/ABO)

The Ruined Cape (Clark Kent X Bratty Little Reader-Spanking)

L-Latex?!(Clark Kent X  Mistress/Domme Reader-Humour/Fluff/Domestic )  

We Didn’t Make It To My Birthday (Alpha!Clark Kent X Younger Omega Reader- A/B/O, 🥵)    

Clark The God Of Munch (Clark Kent X Reader-🥵)

Lacking (Clark Kent X Reader-🥵)

Numb (Clark Kent X Daughter Reader- Angst/ Mental Health Issues)

A Breeding Bunny (Dark!Clark X Reader-🥵Dark Fic)

I Cant Feel My Legs (Dark!Clark X Reader/ A/B/O 🥵)

Super-Hubby Proof  (Clark X Reader/ BDSM/ Humor/🥵)

 (Taming A Pa-Bear(Platonic!Geralt X Reader/Fluff/Angst?Homour)

The Witcher’s Missus (Geralt X Reader/Angst/🥵)

Nanma? (Geralt x Mage!reader/ Jaskier X Reader Platonic/fluff/crackfic/suggestive)

Hybrid Oil (Geralt X Reader/ suggestive/ Angry Geralt)

Your Best Idea (Napoleon Solo x Wife Reader-Fluff/Domestic)

My Phone Died…Sorry?(Walter X Reader/Fluff/Angst/Immplied smut)

A Little Crime Spree (Papa!Sherlock X Little Reader- Spanking)

His Grace’s Protection (Charles Brandon X Reader- Fluff/Angst)

They Hung Up (August Walker X Little!Reader- Fluff)

She Calls Me Daddy 🥵(August Walker X Reader Daddy Kink-Smut Exhibitionism)

Soft!Bdsm Relationship Dom!Henry Sub!Nurse

Wearing Plugs on a date Dom!Henry 🥵

Being A Jealous Little At A Party Daddy!Henry

Scolded By Another Daddy In Front Of Daddy!Henry

Tangled In Knots DDLG

When Your Knee Is Injured DDLG

A Maintenance Spanking DDLG

Caught Pigging Out DDLG

An Inner Ear Infection DDLG

Helping With Hate DDLG

Pms and Headache remedies DDLG🥵

Insomnia /Trouble Waking In The Morning DDLG

Caught Listening To Bratty Songs DDLG

Getting Scared Watching MI6 DDLG

Cutting Your Hair DDLG

Henry Answers A Zoom Call With Pretty Hair DDLG

Story time Wisdom teeth DDLG

Tooth Fairy Haggle DDLG

The accident DDLG

Sherbert and baths DDLG

The Icecream Van DDLG

Slapping Daddies Hand DDLG

Superman’s Dishcloth 

Couples Race

Baby Hustle

A Headcannon Crack Series- Geralt see’s an opportunity to add to his family and finally have something both he and Yennefer have always wanted. A baby, now they just had to figure out how to look after it.

The Exchange / / Got Milk? / / Your Turn / /Hmm…Hm? / /Lil’Bleater

Misc

Vesemir and Geralt bath sharing M/F/M

Playing With August’s Knives DDLG

The Deal (Clark X Reader X August)🥵 / /  Pt 2  / / Pt3🥵?

Malicious Compliance (Sherlock X Reader)

Coming Home Drunk (August X Drunk!Reader)

April Fools! (Sy X Reader) slight smut 🥵

Mocki (Sy X Reader)

Hair Pulling  101 Dom!Henry

A Latte (Henry Cavill X Reader- Fluff)

Swallow-Geralt Of Rivia

Ducky- Humphrey Mummy!Domme

The Making Of Sy’s Mini Me- Sy Smut

Walter Told You Not To Touch! Walter implied smut?

“Pull out” “No”-Sy Smut

Little Office Bunny- August implied smut

Jewel In The Crown August Walker

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Rated: T. Hints of Eskel/Lambert if you squint, Ciri misses her old home, the witchers dance.

Another midwinter storm in Morhen Valley meant another dreary afternoon crowded around the fireplace with the castle's residents, and Ciri couldn’t be more bored. It was worse than any Cintran diplomatic dinner and Vesemir didn’t allow drills inside the castle unless it had been three days. It felt like an entirely arbitrary rule with an arbitrary limit to it, but Lambert had told her not to question the old man’s peculiarities. This was his keep, so they obeyed his rules.

She gazed out of one of the long windows. It had been snowing solidly for five hours; huge, fat flakes fluttered down, whisked into an erratic frenzy by the occasional gust of wind, and she was reminded of the glittering ballroom gowns the ladies of the court used to wear for their debutante presentations. “I miss dancing,” she said, her chin propped against her palm.

Jaskier the bard, who had been scratching idly at his notebooks for the better part of the afternoon, looked up. “Dancing, Princess?” he asked, using her formal address with genuine intonation, as opposed to Lambert who used it whenever she whined too much. At least it was better than the way he said girl.

“Yes!” She threw her hands up. “Dancing. You know, with pretty ladies, music, when everyone has rosy cheeks and they’re a little breathless. At my last ball, grandmama let me have some wine, and…” she trailed off. The accidental reminder of what she had lost scrubbed the wistful light from her eyes. The witchers gathered around the fireplace—all five of them—exchanged troubled glances.

Jaskier tsked. “Alas, dear one, I’m afraid there shan’t be any of that here. Why, I invited your dear adopted father to many a ball and he always stood in the corner, glowering. Ooh, big scary witcher. And you know what he said when I finally bullied it out of him? ‘Witchers can’t dance.’ Well then, there you have it. Uncivilised, the lot of them.”

Vesemir looked up suddenly, his thick, bushy brows knitted together in consternation. “You said what, boy?”

Geralt squirmed. Ciri’s ears perked, interested at the prospect of a little drama to lift the dull greyness of their dreary afternoon. Geralt cleared his throat. “I didn’t feel it appropriate at the time—"

“You know damn well Papa Vesemir taught us to dance,” Lambert cut in, sliding out from the bench where he had been laboriously sewing a tear in an old shirt, “and you were pretty fuckin’ good, if I remember. Ol’ snake hips.” He placed a palm over his stomach, extended an arm, and swayed his hips in his best imitation of a rising cobra. Ciri chuckled and Coën smiled indulgently from his post, cross-legged, by the fire. Even Eskel, the quietest of all the wolves, glanced up from where he was cutting candles into a wicker basket.

“Sit down, Lambert—” Geralt tried, but he knew there was no use. Lambert didn’t like it when Vesemir felt slighted. As much as he railed at the old man himself, he was very clear that he and the other wolves of Kaer Morhen were the only others allowed to berate, chastise or otherwise upset Vesemir.

“Watch and weep, bard. Fuckin' uncivilised. The first part of the lesson is that you need to dress for the wooin',” Lambert informed Ciri, and whipped a floppy grey felt hat from inside his jacket.

“Lambert—” Vesemir growled in warning.

“Chill your bunions, old man. I’ll put it back. Not a crease.” Lambert slicked a hand over his hair before placing the hat upon his head. His fingertips swept across the brim, and he struck a defiant pose, hands planted on his hips. "Perfection."

Jaskier folded his arms across his chest and Geralt sighed into his mug. Ciri giggled, thoroughly on board with any and all of Lambert's shenanigans. "Yes! Perfect. What next?"

"Next, you need to find yourself a damsel," Lambert explained. "Gotta go for the prettiest young filly in the room." He eyed each of them in turn, weighing his options. He pulled a face at Vesemir, flipped Geralt off, spat his tongue out at Jaskier, winked at Coën and finally, with great ceremony, strutted over to Eskel. One arm tucked behind his back, he bowed low, sweeping his hat from his head. "Milady."

"Are you takin' the piss?" Eskel said.

"I'm deadly serious." Lambert straightened his back and restored the hat to its place of honour 'pon his brow. He offered Eskel a hand, palm up, fingers loose and beckoning. "May I have this next dance?" His voice dropped comically low, eyebrows wiggling beneath the hat brim.

Eskel sighed, long-suffering and tried, but took Lambert's hand, his candles discarded. "Fine, but I'm leadin'."

"No you're not," Lambert said brightly, yanking Eskel to his feet. The big witcher grunted as he made contact with Lambert's torso, rolling his eyes as Lambert placed his hands where he wanted them. One of Eskel's settled on his shoulder, the other clasped in his hand. "Bard. Do your job. Music."

Jaskier, in good spirits enough to not make a quip at such a surly demand, grabbed his lute from the table and twisted the tuning pegs. "Requests?"

"Waltz of the Silver Lilies, No. 3," Lambert said without hesitation.

"Oh," Jaskier blinked in surprise, "an... excellent choice."

Geralt smirked into his mug. Jaskier began to play.

Ciri's eyes lit up as she watched her uncles sweep around the table. Their steps in perfect time, their bodies twisting and weaving as if they were made for the ballroom, not the battlefield. She chuckled again as she caught snatches of their conversation beneath the music as they argued like an old married couple: "by Vesemir's hairy crack, let me lead, Eskel", "you're going to step on my feet", "they're pretty hard to fucking miss", "your weight transfers are off", "in my defence, there's a lot of fucking weight to transfer".

Despite their grumbles, they were perfectly synchronized. Better than any of the loveliest couples in Cintra. They turned, and pirouetted, and swayed, and dipped. Ciri could see the fondness in Eskel's eyes as he gazed down at Lambert and the unadulterated joy in every craggy line of Lambert's face. They had probably learned this around training. A way to perfect their dexterity and poise without risking broken bones. Perhaps they had filled the Grand Hall with dancers; she imagined a glittering chandelier, an old witcher on a fiddle and another on a harp. Hundreds of young witchers stumbling, and learning, and getting better until they grew into their skinny, unwieldy limbs.

She could almost imagine herself to be back home... well, until Lambert said something that got Eskel's goat and he received a solid punch in the gut. Just hard enough to make him wheeze.

It took a matter of seconds for the whole thing to devolve into a wrestling match on the floor. Eskel trapped Lambert in a headlock against his chest, but Lambert reached up, pulled his hair and bit his arm. They scuffled until Vesemir slammed his knitting down and grabbed one of his discarded shoes from the floor to beat them apart. "This happened every time while they were learnin'," he grumped, and jogged over to end their scuffle. "Undisciplined, unruly embarrassments, the both of you."

"Ow, fuck, fuck," Lambert rolled away from Eskel, hands over his head, and Eskel kicked at him petulantly one last time.

Coën shook his head and exchanged a fond glance with Ciri. They both knew that Kaer Morhen was better than any Cintran ballroom. She missed the dancing only because she missed what came with the dancing; time with her grandmama and Eist. What she had now could never replace them, but she could cherish it just as much.

She left the table and settled on the rug at Coën's side to play cards. Eskel and Lambert gravitated together as they did every night, Lambert's head on Eskel's belly, Eskel's hand somewhere on Lambert - his forearm this time - and Geralt chatted with Jaskier as afternoon melted into evening, while Vesemir dozed off in his armchair.

Just another midwinter storm in Morhen valley.