#jack is such a tragic character yall

[were-wolverine]

the way jack would LITERALLY travel to the end of the universe for the doctor. the person who abandoned him after he had just died and come back to life. my boy deserves better.

i need martha and jack to meet 14 and get some closure (and then the three of them get brunch together every week after that).

[alt-wannabe]

MCSR D&D

here's fulham's character sheet!

College of Lore Bard 12 / The Fathomless Warlock 3 (Pact of the Blade)

Fulham is the last HBG member that I had ideas for a character sheet for but I ABSOLUTELY want to make more, I just don't want to mischaracterize the streamers I unfortunately know a little less about. That being said please please please lmk who yall wanna see next and i can make some polls in order to help me get started. Thanks :3

More under the cut!

Fulham's always seemed really well spoken so bard immediately stuck out to me as a good pick, and college of lore was also a pretty easy subclass pick bc my guy is EDUCATED. The warlock multiclass is a little more for player usability than characterization- eldrich blast with some invocations on a 20 CHA character can get some crazy damage. Also fun fact that purple is the pinkest accent color on D&D Beyond it's tragic.

Spell picks were like 40% normal D&D picks, 30% minecraft references, and 30% pure vibes/intuition picks. I gave him a lot more support/enemy debuff spells than pure damage as fulham tends to really shine in team events imo (plus bards tend to lean more on that side of the spell spectrum anyways).

I admittedly went a little crazy on the inventory. The smaller easter eggs include and herbalism kit, melons, and a cactus in the chest along with cooks utensils (tubbathon cooking show) and a playing card set (poker). Going along with poker/gambling I HAD to give him the Deck of Many Things- that things gambling incarnate and is such a fun iconic item (if my memory serves correctly this makes Fulham the only HBG member so far to have a legendary item). Manual of Iron Golems and Cube of Force are straight up just slap in the face minecraft references and I'm impressed it took me this long to spot them. Bag of Beans was another reference to the melon/cactus shenanigans (even though the actual utility of the item isn't super related to the theme but shhhhh). The Lantern of Revealing and Necklace of Adaptation were a little more vibe picks than the rest, Fulham just seems pretty observant and quick to adapt to his surroundings so I felt like they fit well.

Here are the feats I picked. Fulham has a masters in mf ENGINEERING so it would have felt so wrong not giving him something artificer related in some way. Fey touched was partially for the charisma boost and another partially just straight vibe pick.

Finally here's just a few of the bard features he picked up that I thought were fitting- specifically Jack of All Trades and Cutting Words.

Again I hope y'all are enjoying these as much as I enjoy making them! Please please send any suggestions for other HBG members and what would be fitting (I know I want to make silverr and poundcake at the very least but I'm struggling with what choices to make for them)

[moonlit-dreamers]

Can you rate all TSAMS characters?

oh dear lord- i can certainly try tho i get the feeling i'll forget some lol

in order of favorite to least favorite

sun - 10/10 - hes perfect, nothing can change my mind. hes heavily traumatized and incredibly anxious. hes the perfect specimen for whump AND hurt/comfort. im also just Heavily biased

ruin - 9/10 - yall cant fight me on this hes one of my favorites. hes a tragic, morally gray villain that did what he thought he had to. hes a sad pathetic wet cat of a man who i bet all my money on (a whopping 500 bucks) that he doesnt even know who he is as a person

eclipse - 9/10 - him being below ruin on the list means nothing bc theyre equal in my heart. again, tragic wet cat of a man whos too damn tired to deal with this shit any more. i also relate to him in ways that probably arent healthy <3

solar flare - 8/10 - BRING MY BOY BACK HE DID NOTHING ‼️

dazzle - 8/10 - sweet baby girl she can do no wrong

jack - 7/10 - he can do many things wrong but nothing could make me hate him forever <3

molten - 7/10 - he baby. he sweet. he dont know the world and thats okay. maybe i just like it when murder machines turn into pacifists and just want to have fun.

dark sun - 7/10 - he fascinates me. i want to put him in a lil test tube and study him under a microscope. i need to ask so many questions, most of them being some form of "what is wrong with you"

computer/spaniard - 7/10 - we dont talk about the previous 2 computers we dont care about them (i dont hate them im just biased <3) i only care about SPANIARD. i miss my boy why did they have to kill him he couldve been so good. sun needs his husband back/silly

old moon - 6/10 - he is... certainly a specimen. i keep bouncing between "i hate him i want to rip his head off" and "im wrapping him in a blanket so tight he cant breathe". before he died he was an absolute prick and the fandom ruined him for me bc everyone fell for his manipulation and blamed sun for shit moon did and bc i was so biased towards sun it was difficult for me to not hate him. after he came back hes more fun (and tolerable) due to him actually improving but i wish he had more set-backs bc like. to him he'd been dead for like. a week. he should be struggling more <3

earth - 6/10 - cant quite pinpoint it but i Do feel like she could be done better as a character. she... doesnt really change that much? idk how to describe it. maybe i just find her boring lol

solar - 6/10 - yes i am putting him this far down on the list bc i feel like he couldve been done SO much better. he has so little flavor it hurts. what are his struggles? what is his goal? what does he even do outside of sun n moon?? and dont even get me STARTED on how little his past is brought up in a meaningful manner, let alone be something that effects him. you could say "oh hes gotten better" yeah but we saw none of it so like?? fbkdsgnjkds i'll need to rant about his character another day smh my head

killcode - 6/10 - it was fun while it lasted or something like that. he was interesting and i Do wish they had just.. left him alive? not bc he would be "useful" or wutever but just bc like. wut if he wants to come back randomly? like he wouldve just been a fun side character

nexus/new moon - 5/10 - listen. i dont wanna put him down here. but his current arc fucked him over. he was so fun and whimsical before! he was just a silly lil guy trying to navigate the world around him and desperately trying to fill a role he couldve never filled. his current arc couldve been SO much better. but its not as emotionally charged as it could be. like. they just completely threw away his original motive! and now he doesnt care?? not even the slightest??? booooo tomato tomato tomato throwing tomatoes/ref

lunar - 5/10 - again, you can fight me, but current lunar just isnt it for me. lunar before he died? hell yeah. he was such a lil shit that only cared about stuff if it benefited him. he didnt care that he was hurting moon with his movements, he just switched sides bc moon actually paid attention to him. him and bm couldve been SUCH a good duo too OTL

bloodmoon - 5/10 - honestly i liked v1 bm more than v2. idk man. something about their energy was so different and it lured me in. v2 kinda just felt.. boring. no critiques on his character, just not for me *shrug*

gemini - 5/10 - i dunno. just boring to me

monty - 4/10 - yet another moment of "no direct hate on the character just uninteresting to me" with monty. theyre just. boring. also another moment of "i liked them before [insert event]" with the event being before earth.

the creator - 4/10 - just. meh? he could be better as a villain but hes like. been here for so long that i wonder if he really does much of anything? idk man. im losing steam atp dnf,jsdgndkj

this might be all of them..? i dunno. probably missed a bunch (and yes im aware i shoved in some laes characters shush). im gonna leave out eaps characters so this doesnt get longer and so i dont go on a hate rant about puppet/j

[the-s1lly-corner]

Just a thought, but

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I don't know how many of yall read my things in passing and how many of yall consistently come back and remember my headcannons

But that idea for eyeless jack I had where he gets dragged into a cult/human sacrifice is relevant

Because as tragic as I've made his story, there's still some sweetness to it in terms of these little fluff headcannons

In my AU, the only reason Jack is the way he is now is because he went out with the intention of meeting new people and making new friends. Even before everything he was a bit of a hermit; kept to himself, was cynical of the world. People suck, Jack knew that. But he wanted to find those little pockets of good

In comes a new friend! I dont recall the name of the character from the fan story I base my whole headcannon off of, so they will remain nameless for now, until I either find the fanstory or make a new name

They hit it off, they're getting along. And through the person Jack meets new people. It's all going so well

Until, it doesn't.

They trick him, and try to sacrifice him, but the entire thing goes horribly wrong. In the wreckage of Jack's wake, he's been cursed to slowly transform into a man eating beast

Understandably, he goes back to shutting away everyone

To protect others, and himself

And because yet again, the world has proven to be cold and cruel

That is, until S/o shows up

Admittedly, I don't know what kind of partner would work best for Jack, given what he's becoming

But I like to think they give Jack that warmth and hope he was looking for before everything happened

[sword-symphonia]

A comprehensive list of every fictional character I have ever been mentally unwell over for any amount of time (that I am able to recall)

Buckle the fuck in I'm bored (mentally unwell in this case does not specifically mean horny, sometimes they are just my little scrumblies)

Number one pooksters of all time are in bold if you even care

God help us all.

PERSONA:

Zenkichi Hasegawa (and the crowd expected it completely, ladies and gentlemen)

Takuto Maruki

Ryotaro Dojima

Tohru Adachi (sighs loudly)

Yusuke Kitagawa

Kanji Tatsumi

Mitsuru Kirijo

Akira Kurusu

Naoya Toudou

Haru Okumura

POKÈMON:

Piers

Arven

Grimsley

Jacq (GET IN JACQY BOY)

Pumpkaboo

Jirachi

Valerie

PROFESSOR SYCAMORE GET IN RAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Lisia

Wallace

Maxie and Archie, but only sometimes (stares at tumblr user gleaming_glasses)

Avery (very short-lived, actually)

Leon

Katy

Rika

Quagsire

D*NGANR*NPA (Listen shut up it's a pipeline):

Leon Kuwata

Kazuichi Soda

Kaito Momota

Rantaro Amami

Kirumi Tojo (I'll save you baby)

Hajime Hinata

...Kokichi Ouma. SIGHS

Gonta Gokuhara

Byakuya Togami (both versions)

Aoi Asahina

Nagisa Shingetsu (save him please oh my god)

YOUR TURN TO DIE:

Shunsuke Hayasaka

Naomichi Kurumada

Nao Egokoro

Reko Yabusame

Alice Yabusame

Kazumi Mishima (I don't want to talk about it)

Tia Safalin

Q-Taro Burgerberg (I still don't want to talk about it)

Joe Tazuna

ENSEMBLE STARS:

Mika Kagehira

Mayoi Ayase (my girlfriend. My wife. We're legally married, actually)

Adonis Otogari

Nazuna Nito

Hajime Shino

Mitsuru Tenma

Arashi Narukami (someone rescue her for the love of god)

Tsumugi Aoba

Niki Shiina

Chiaki Morisawa

Midori Takamine

Mao Isara

Yuzuru Fushimi

Makoto Yuuki

Akiomi Kunugi

Jin Sagami

Jun Sazanami

Hiyori Tomoe

Madara Mikejima

Koga Oogami

Souma Kanzaki

TWISTED WONDERLAND:

Divus Crewel

Sebek Zigvolt (born on Paddy's day Irish rep get in lads)

Epel Felmier

Floyd Leech

Azul Ashengrotto

Riddle Rosehearts

Ruggie Bucchi

Jack Howl

Vil Schoenheit

Kalim al-Asim

GENSHIN IMPACT:

Rosaria

Arataki Itto

Sangonomiya Kokomi

Yanfei

Wriothesley

Neuvillette

Yelan

Kaeya

Kaveh

Baizhu

The otters. I can't even make this shit up the fucking OTTERS

COOKIE RUN:

Affogato Cookie (I thought he was a girl)

Espresso Cookie (I also thought he was a girl)

Strawberry Crepe Cookie

Red Velvet Cookie

Roguefort Cookie

Almond Cookie

Sour Belt Cookie

Wizard Cookie (the silliest of guys, and also my son)

Pancake Cookie

Clover Cookie (You won't fucking believe this, yall)

Black Raisin Cookie

Pistachio Cookie

Whipped Cream Cookie

Peach Cookie

Mocha Ray Cookie

Captain Ice Cookie

Croissant Cookie

Earl Grey Cookie

Aloe Cookie

Butter Pretzel Cookie

Abyss Monarch Cookie

Stardust Cookie

V Cookie (he counts. I do not go here however)

Captain Caviar Cookie

Elder Faerie Cookie

IDENTITY V (Sorry):

Andrew Kreiss/Gravekeeper

Martha Behamfil/Coordinator

Luca Balsa/Prisoner (The tragic, tragic origin of my name.)

Aesop Carl/Embalmer

Emma Woods/Gardener (Dressed up as her for Halloween once)

Joseph Desaulniers/Photographer

Robbie White/Axe Boy

Naib Subedar/Mercenary

Freddy Riley/Lawyer (fucking awful as a person but his gameplay is nice)

Helena Adams/The Mind's Eye (Main for life. Love you, baby) (I cannot kite for shit) (I also haven't played in about 8 months)

ANIMAL CROSSING:

Ribbot

Jeremiah

Stella

Vesta

Wendy

Maggie

Agnes

My Pocket Camp villager. She's a little train conductor I adore her

Niko (BIRTHDAY TWIIIIINS)

Maddie (ALSO BIRTHDAY TWIIIINS)

Kicks

Flick

DEMON SLAYER:

Tengen Uzui

Giyuu Tomioka

Shinobu Kocho

Kyojuro Rengoku

Tanjiro Kamado

Sabito

Makomo

FIRE EMBLEM:

Claude

Sylvain

Nailah

Askr

Seteth (Horny reasons.)

Vander (...Also horny reasons, unfortunately)

Yarne

Dwyer

Griss (...Don't look at me)

Hanneman

Dorothea

Panne

Azama

Catherine (She is so... oughhh)

Cockrrin (It is spelled like that for a reason, hi Sunny)

LEGO MONKIE KID:

Syntax

Red Son

Jin+Yin (PACKAGE DEAL DO NOT SEPERATE!!)

Monkey King

Ne Zha

Mei

The Mayor

MONSTER PROM:

Damien LaVey

Oz (my main for life forever n ever)

Salomé

Amira Rashid

Scott Howl

Nicolas Cage (I downloaded a Nic Cage mod therefore he counts) (I care not for the man himself)

Faith Fernandez (GIVE ME HER ENDING YOU DICKS)

Calculester Hewlett-Packard

Hazel (I do not know if she has a surname)

HOUSEKI NO KUNI:

Padparadscha

Watermelon Tourmaline

Zircon

Morganite

Phos. I refuse to try to spell their full name

Lapis Lazuli

MHA (I don't like it anymore but I gotta save my boys):

Denki Kaminari (Whenever I tell someone I like him they nearly always go 'yeah' and I have no idea how to reply to that)

Eijiro Kirishima

Yuga Aoyama

Koji Koda

Mirko

Gentle Criminal (It was because he's an old man. He's like 30 or somethin but. Idk whisht)

PSYCHONAUTS:

Boyd Cooper

Sasha Nein

Quentin Hedgemouse (Silly)

Hollis Forsythe

Lizzie Natividad

Augustus Aquato

Razputin Aquato

Fred Bonaparte

The stupid fucking maternity ward easter egg the entire thing oh my god

DRAGON QUEST:

Erik

Sylvando

Hendrik

Jasper

Sandy

The Tockles

Pavo

MY OWN OCS HELP ME:

Kurt Lynos

Cypher Lynos

Peri Lynos

Lazzi (he is a platypus)

Ainsley Laurent

Charlotte Laurent (Peri's girlfriend)

April Kosova (Ainsley's wife and also her lawyer before they got married)

Abel

Myron Bouras

Mizuki Suou (May or may not be an x canon oc... glances away)

Abebah Kopiona

MISCELLANEOUS (Not enough people to justify a category):

HIT FLASH GAME SERIES CRIMINAL CASE FIRST RELEASED IN 2012:

Nathan Pandit (Season one; Grimsborough)

Frank Knight (Season 2; Pacific Bay)

Diego Alejandro Montoya Esteban del Lobo (Season 4; Mysteries of the Past)

Jacob Arrow (Season 7; Supernatural Hunters)

Richard 'Dick' Wells (Season 4)

Rose Zhao (Season 4)

Maddie O'Malley (Season 4) (Hon the Irish boy)

Felix Reed (Season 7)

Sanji Vinsmoke- One Piece

Sabo- One Piece

Alfendi Layton- Professor Layton series

Clive Dove- Professor Layton series

Anthony Herzen- Professor Layton series

Cinnamoroll- Sanrio

Pompompurin- Sanrio

Larry Butz- Ace Attorney

Rosalina- Mario

Luigi- Mario

Espio the Chameleon- Sonic

The Egg Boiz- HAZBIN HOTEL FUCK OFF I'LL SAVE YOU EGGBOIZ CMERE GET AWAY FROM MY SONS

Princess Luna- My Little Pony

Flash Sentry- My Little Pony (I was eight unfortunately)

Stitch- Disney (I am in fact one of those girls sorry)

Timber Spruce- My Little Pony (I was still eight)

Winnie the Pooh- Disney

Anakin Skywalker but specifically the animated Clone Wars one- Star Wars

That one guy from Rebels with the fuckass manbun- Star Wars

Mr. Tumble- British Television (He was like crack cocaine to me)

Chase Devinaeux- Carmen Sandiego 2018 series

Tulio- the Road to el Dorado

Shiro- Voltron. Derogatory.

Coran- Voltron (IM COMING FOR YOU BABY)

Hunk- Voltron

Dr. Montgomery Montgomery- a Series of Unfortunate Events

Jacques Snicket- a Series of Unfortunate Events

Jem- Hetty Feather books (Nick Sharratt made him look a right fitty)

Fizzy- Moshi Monsters (THE ONLY MOSHLING EVER I LOVE FIZZY I HAVE EIGHT OF THEM IN MY MONSTER'S HOUSE [Six of them are plushies tho])

Tingaling- Moshi Monsters (Okay Tingaling can stay)

Daffodil- Spiritfarer

Astrid- Spiritfarer

Akane Hino- Smile PreCure! (Made me realise I was queer)

Captain Barnacles- Octonauts

Vyn Richter- Tears of Themis

Artem Wing- Tears of Themis

Vincent Brooks- Catherine (I could fix him) (Alternatively we could get worse together)

Shizuku Hinomori- Project Sekai

KAITO- Vocaloid

Camui Gackpo- Vocaloid

Octodad. Do you think I'm fucking around? Not round here, brother.

The entire cast of Fantastic Mr. Fox. I CUSSING LOVE that movie what the CUSS

Howl Pendragon- Howl's Moving Castle

Lego Batman, and SPECIFICALLY Lego Batman- DC

Reigen Arataka- Mob Psycho

Saiki's da- Saiki K

Marina Ida- Splatoon 2

Wheatley- Portal (Steven Merchant has captivated me)

Rodney Copperbottom- Robots (I had the FATTEST crush on him as a child stop)

The villain guy I'm too lazy to google him- Robots (also on him)

Timmy- Shaun the Sheep

Mr. Bean- Mr. Bean (my goat)

Harvey- Stardew Valley

Simeon- Obey Me (my obey me phase was rancid lads)

Satan- Obey Me

'N das all for now :3

[strawberryraviegutz]

Oh and another thing, forgive me if this rant is too long, but I’m sick and tired of those stupid ass memes of Steven Universe and Jack Horner about Steven screaming and Crying for Jack Horner to change into a good person, mischaracterizing the hell out of Steven. It’s so damn annoying. Most of these people most likely have not seen or watched the damn Steven Universe movie and or show.

Steven was less of a pushover when he grew into a teenager in Steven Universe Future. Heck I don’t even think he was much of a pushover to begin with. Steven just likes being nice to people which eventually caused him so much stress due to his constant need of wanting to fix things and not wanting to end up alone.

HE WAS A CHILD. AND EVEN THEN HES STILL A CHILD IN FUTURE! AROUND 16-17 YEARS OLD. YALL ACT LIKE THERES SOMETHING INHERENTLY WRONG IN TRYING TO SEE THE BEST IN PEOPLE. THE REASON WHY STEVEN SAW GOOD IN SPINEL IS BECAUSE HE SAW THAT SHE WAS HURTING THANKS TO HIS MOM ABANDONING HER FOR 6,000 YEARS!

And no Steven didn’t forgive the “space Nazis.”(kinda find it funny when people call the diamonds that and claim that Rebecca’s telling is to forgive our bigoted oppressors/Nazis when Rebecca themself IS JEWISH). He never completely forgave the diamonds. When they wanted him to come live in the palace with them, it made him extremely uncomfortable and he also felt a bit on edge around them when he went to go see them a second time.

Not to mention he almost shattered white diamond by smashing her head into a pillar when he was controlling her because of the fact that he wanted revenge for White diamond pulling Steven’s Gem out. And no a hug didn’t “fix everything” either at the end of Steven Universe future. When Steven went back to normal after being corrupted her didn’t “get better” he was a bit emotional even though he calmed down a bit. Like literally we get it you hate Steven and or the show Steven Universe in general. You want a cookie or something?

I’m tired of people using Jack to put down other types of villains especially sympathetic ones like lmao these are the same people who said that the whole “evil just because they love being evil” (especially Disney) trope was overdone and wanted something else. And when people were finally given something new like tragic villains or generational trauma(WHICH IS AN ISSUE THAT PEOPLE SHOULD TALK ABOUT) now it’s all like”What ew we don’t want this.” “The twagic villain twope is overdone.!!!11!!1 it’s been awhile since we’ve seen an actuwal evil viwain.” DUDE the evil just because they love it is a trope that has also been ran into the ground. And this is coming from someone who likes both villain archetypes. AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE STOP SHITTING ON TRAGIC VILLAINS OR GENERATIONAL TRAUMA LIKE IM SO TIRED. DISNEY ONLY MADE TWO MOVIES ABOUT GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND YALL LOST YOUR DAMN MINDS. YOU ACT LIKE TRAUMA DOESNT CAUSE SOME PEOPLE TO HATE THE WORLD AND OR PEOPLE AROUND THEM CAUSING THEM TO WANNA GET REVENGE OR DESTROY THE WORLD OR SOMETHING. LIKE YOU CAN LITERALLY CRY ABOUT IT. Just gives people like me more comfort characters to relate to, to help us deal with our own issues along shitty people like you.🙃(not saying Disney doesn’t have their own flaws as a company though.)

LIKE IM DONE, IM FUCKING DONE

Im tired of people mischaracterizing other characters for the sake of a stupid meme

Im tired of others using Jack to put down other villains archetypes

I’m tired of people using Puss in boots to put down Turning Red

AND MOST OF ALL IM TIRED PEOPLE MAKING THOSE DUMB EDITS OF JACK SAYING THE N WORD

YOU ALL MAKE ME GAG LIKE BE QUIET! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!

[siphonophored]

spn pisses me off so fucking bad jack kline was treated terribly and deserved better. that poor kid was treated like shit from the moment he was born. he was tortured he lost his soul he was betrayed by the only people he thought he could trust then he was going to basically kill himself just so dean could finally forgive him then he became a god and when it seemed like maybe things were looking up for him he just, merged with the universe or whatever and ceased being a unified creation. it makes me so damn upset, jack kline deserved better. he was a sweet selfless loving caring generous kid from the moment he was born and ended up being used and treated as a pawn useful only for his powers until he ultimately sacrificed himself. the only person that truly cared for him, for himself and not his powers, was cas. (EDIT:: AND MARY OF COURSE)

[kissingarthurclaus]

BRIE MY BELOVED!!! I dunno if you’ve talked about it before but I’d love to hear about your dynamics with Anakin and Ahsoka? More importantly what do they think about you and Rex being a thing? 👀👉👈

WAHHH THANK YOU LAURA 🥺💖💖 mwah ily!!

Man...my fucking beloveds!! Anakin was my best friend. We became Padawans around the same time so we weren't on Coruscant a ton but when we crossed paths on other planets or returned to the temple at the same time we were a chaos duo ahfjfj and always really close, especially since we both were kinda confused about the Jedi's teachings! When the war started we spent a lot more time together and we both drove Obi-Wan's blood pressure through the roof ahfj.

Ahsoka doesn't have a ton of female figures to look up to so I like to think she'd look to me! Especially since I tell her a bunch of embarrassing stories from when me and Anakin were kids 😂 and I'd definitely be impressed with her skills at such a young age and it'd make me happy and so proud to see her grow and mature throughout the years!

As for what they think of me and Rex, they're thrilled ofc! 💘 they both care about Rex so much, and they want him to be happy! He's normally so by-the-book too, so it'd take them by surprise that he'd do something like this sjfjf but I think it especially means something to Anakin. He respects Rex so much, they trust each other!! And I'm his oldest friend, so I think it would have made him feel less conflicted about his own inability to let go of certain attachments himself. He doesn't think we're bad for it, so he must not be that bad either right?

[queenerdloser]

“romeo should have checked” “there was room for jack on the door” you know what yall need to go and look up what a tragedy is!!! stop trying to loophole your way out of the tragic ending these stories clearly wanted!!!! it doesn’t matter that romeo “should have” checked - the story didn’t want a happy resolution!! it doesn’t matter that there was “room on the door” - the story didn’t need them both to live! this drives me insane, people are so horny for happy endings they just plain forget the conventions of tragedies! leave your powerpoint on the ways these characters could have avoided death at home, that’s not the point of the fucking story! the point IS in their death and when you take that away you take away the beating heart of the narrative. titanic doesn’t gain anything if jack manages to get on the door, too. romeo & juliet doesn’t gain anything if romeo checks and realizes juliet isn’t dead. stop frantically trying to make stories have a happy ending and acting like it’s somehow necessary or revolutionary. 

[skeetlehand]

HI!!!!! I have been tagged™™™™ by @gheysnakelady and so here are my Hot Opinions!! :D

who is your favourite member on the smp?

I mean, i have SEVERAL faves: awesamdude, eret, wilbur (rip), techno and phil - I’ll watch sometimes, tubbo and tommy, but if you’re going by who I watch th

when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?

Oh, it was thanks to the sudden influx of dream smp animatics all over my youtube home page - and tbh, they were all pretty good! and so, i was like: ???!!! and started watching and now i religiously check the dsmp tag for plot updates so i guess that’s where we’re at rn… haha…

what is your favourite part about watching the smp?

Just watching these creators make these amazing stories+narrative - it’s free tv! i am entertained! even just watching them interact, this large community of a variety of streamers/youtubers, in the most diverse topics (not all of them are really minecraft-centered, but they are all great!). The idea of showcasing underrated creators in a platform where they all have the opporunity to shine, is just a wholesome idea tbh

what piece of cursed lore is your favourite?

…………. the toe…………. 

who is your favourite duo on the smp?

Miss the ol’ tubbo n tommy dynamic! But i do enjoy techno and ranboo - they’re hilarious, too.

… Niki and Jack give me Stress… i try to think about them like: team rocket! it works! almost! i try not to think about them murdering children on purpose and more like a little evil duo who cause problems and miss. please-

who are your comfort streamers?

I like to watch awesamdude (he’s great!!! <3) bbh and tubbo, when I want some nice times where I might play minecraft myself... or just relax

who is your favourite character?

mexican dream, no sweat. tubbo and tommy tie for second second place, and back when elections were a thing, so was Big Q (he still is! he says the most brutal things these days but also ,,,, stream me dude pleas-).

who do you think is the best actor (s) on the smp?

A LOT OF PEOPLE OKAY LET ME ELABORATE ON A FEW:

- schlatt. evil president. wilbur. chekov’s gun but tragic. do i need to say more.

- bad is actually really good! and terrifying! surprisingly! because he’s.,,. he’s supposed to be one of my comfort streamers.... you should check out his eggpire!!! egg for the egg god

- tommy is good at subtleties, for someone who isn’t very... subtle... yknow? I was surprised by the AMOUNT of detail that went into the exile arc - and he played it adequately

who on the smp would you like to be best friends with?

ajgLJHGdljhagjJHGJHLGDS you can’t ask me that!!! they all seem like cool people and id like to meet them but also i am a mess so hhhhh

what are your favourite quotes said on the smp?

i have a lot here too but here are just some that I can think of rn haha:

connor’s whole: “you’re not a bad person, and I hope you find what you’re looking for” had me BAWLING aaa

tommy’s dialogue with dream during their battle was good, but when 

a) tommy asks tubbo: “but what am I with out you?” and tubbo responds: “yourself.” I CRIED AAAA

b) tommy said: “Hey Dream, Dream, kill me.” because he knew dream wouldn’t, because he knew why dream wouldn’t - CHILLS

which part of the smp made you feel the saddest?

- ... pogtopia...

- Wilbur/ghostbur (out of character? in character? i don’t know which’d be worse, actually) admitting that he only wanted to make tommy president so he could blow it up seconds later

- .... tommy’s exile....

- A lot of tommy’s interactions with Techno have me kinda... :( ... you know? Like, the pit, the manberg vs. pogtopia war, doomsday - it feels like they keep shouting the same lines at each other, but neither of them really hear nor understand what the other is saying. Expecially doomsday - techno siding with dream, predictable but also hurtful, kind of. I can see why - but also techno was the closest to learning what had happened over the exile, and yet, the farthest from understanding it.

- doomsday was equally frustrating, hopeless, and depressing tbh

which part of the smp made you feel the happiest?

A LOT OF THINGS: but here are just the ones on the top of my head

- Quackity killing Schlatt and leaving manberg like: ✌️😠✌️

- When Tommy finally realized that dream was just. manipulating him. YOU GO funky exile child, LEAVE!!! 

- PUNZ coming in to save the day with: “you should’ve paid me more”???? YES YES YES

- Sam giving tommy little tasks to build the hotel?? wholesome. Acknowledging tommy’s been through a lot, abnd being one of the few people to know most of the exile story that tommy still won’t tell anyone about outright? 😭 (and i am looking AWAY from the possibility that this is just for profit, nonononono, not in MY line of sight-)

be honest, who do you simp for? (ayo if anyone says tommy or tubbo i will 🔪)

....schlatt (who ironically, was somewhat my introduction into the smp), but only cause he was a TERRIFYINGLY good actor, and he sounds EXACTLY like what id imagine an evil president would sound like 😳 what can i say, i like my voices...? jkashdlhfgal closest ill get to simping anyway so all of you can just take this and go, go elsewhere-

what’s your favorite stream?

Hmm... one of the chaos ones? kjahdlkg i can’t decide...

what’s your least favorite stream?

The butcher army stream. I mean, it was good I loved the dialogue and set up... but like... story-wise, butcher army didn’t accomplish anything in the end, their existence was as volatile as the person they hunted and tbh nothing was gained from it, just lost and made worse. Hot opinion though, so take it with caution.

what’s something about the smp fandom that makes you sad?

Hmm... A somewhat common point: sometimes people can be really critical about characters, but like, not in a good way - just straight up bashing. I get disliking a character but it makes me :( when i don’t see reason for it. Or bashing someone’s opinion of a character. Look, we’re all interpreters here, but like.... cmon.... someone might just have a different view of a character and that’s fine! 

for example: not a big fan of c!phil as a father. Some interpretations say he’s not a father because phil never said he was. Some might say he was an okay dad, and some might say tommy was never his son. all of these opinions are valid. another one of my opinions: tommy’s “punishments” were injust, some might agree with the idea that they were blown out of proportion and he didn’t really learn anything from them, some might disagree and say he got what he deserved. all of these opinions are valid -but on my end, maybe not the ones where people go: “aww man, c!tommy should’ve died cause he’s so annoying, and he totally deserved it.” did we watch the same arcs, buddies on that end???? are you okay????

Just, i get hating a character, but it bums me out when i see someone just straight up say “this character should die. cause they suck” - why though? story-wise, how would that play out? what

ANYWAY THIS IS ALL MY OPINION DON’T TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY PLEASE

what’s something about the smp fandom that makes you happy?

Yall are great!! I love how much we’ve created - art, animatics, writing -all of you <3 <3 <3 and also all the discussion about the story, the characters, the interactions - I’ve found a community in some groups and honestly it’s just *chef kiss* great!!! yall are super cool and awesome and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!

anyway, for the spread: i tag - @territorialufo, @an-inspired-eternity and @n-ugg... don’t feel pressured to do this but if you guys want 😳 

[scottspack]

my wife @got2ghost tagged me to talk about my 10 favorite ships and why!

yall know i LOVE to talk so lessgo!!!!

KIRK/SPOCK - Star Trek: I know this is a very unpopular opinion with some of my mutuals (I apologize Phoenix and Amy) but as someone who grew up watching TOS with my grandma and next gen with my parents, AOS, which came out when I was 13, was MY Star Trek. It was cool and sleek and pine/quinto were hot and at 13 years old I was like This Is Mine Now and have loved it ever since even though I fully recognize what makes it hard to love for classic trekkies! THAT BEING SAID, the reason i love spirk so much (besides the TOS version and the history and love they have) is because AOS spirk was the first pairing that i ever read fic for that was BEAUTIFUL and MOVING and GUT WRENCHING! this was the pairing that made me realize that fic could even be good! that it could not only be good but be AMAZING! even though the AOS movies fumble the spirk bag over and over and over, the things that fic writers have done with these characters and the stories they’ve created around the differences in AOS made a huge impact on me as a young teen and they still have a huge space in my heart!!!!!!!

Sterek- Teen Wolf: there is absolutely a reason that this pairing got so popular so fast and it’s because their dynamic is genuinely so GOOD and funny and there’s so much to work with!!!! Jeff Davis If Not For The Laws Of This Land I Would Have Slaughtered you, etc, etc, BUT regardless of what was done to them in canon, shipping sterek in 2012-2014 was the most fun ive had online in my entire life and i’ll love sterek forever! on this i swear!!!!!! no homo deserves a nobel peace prize!!!!!!!!!

Ruth/Idgie - Fried Green Tomatoes: i think it was phoenix who reblogged something recently about how so much historical gay rep is tragic and sad and doesn’t focus on the reality that gay people have always existed and not every single one of them lived tragic and sad lives. THAT’S WHAT MAKES RUTH/IDGIE SO IMPORTANT TO ME!!!! the importance of historical gay love that was happy! and accepted by their community! and beautiful! and romantic! they fall in love and start a business and raise a child and live in a happy home together! in 1930s alabama! their dynamic in both the book and the movie is unbelievably sweet and hot and i want to cry just thinking about the TENDER LOVE AND CARE!!!!!!!!!!!

Mulder/Scully - The X Files: they’re my parents and i love them! the skeptic/believer dynamic at it’s absolute fucking best! you want to talk about blueprints? mulder/scully is the fucking blueprint. “scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on?”

Jack/Bitty - omgcp: everyone on tumblr had already moved on by the time i got into omgcp last november, so it feels like im the only one who cares about them anymore but AHHHHHHHHHH i love jack/bitty so much and jack zimmermann in particular (not surprising since spock and lan wangji are two of my other favorite characters, you can see a pattern here) ANYWAYS i think that they are such a fucking good pairing. bitty unconsciously bringing jack out of his shell and making him want to open up and be receptive to love and to be a braver person just by virtue of being apologetically bitty is SO SWEET!! I THINK ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME!!!!!! read Something Like This by emmagrant01 on ao3!!!!

Destiel - Supernatural: i mean what the fuck do you want me to say. its a man in gay love with an angel. if you’ve followed me for any length of time you’ll know two things: im gay and i love the abstract idea of christian mythology. destiel ticks all of my stupid boxes! one of my fave pastimes is going on ao3 and sorting destiel fics oldest to newest and reading all the really good super early fics when no one knew where the show was going with their angel mythology so fic writers relied on the actual bible and took angels seriously and it was GREAT!

Nick/Jess - New Girl: they’re soulmates from SEASON. ONE. EPISODE. ONE. baybee!!!!!!!! aint nothing else to say! 

Flint/Thomas - Black Sails: this is a ship i dont talk about THAT often but is extremely important to me for what it represents. ive written about 500 tag essays about how black sails is important for many reasons, one of which is that it’s a show that believes in gay joy and happy endings for gay people. the fact that flint spent a decade in mourning for thomas, burning down as much of the english empire as he could in retribution for how thomas was treated, killed all of the people who called him a monster for being in love, and then at the end of it all STILL got his happy ending? absolute catharsis. extremely close to my heart.

Larry - One Direction: [explanation redacted]

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - The Untamed: new comers and heavy fucking hitters WANGXIAN!!!!!!!! there was no way in hell that i was ever NOT going to be fully in love with them once i started this show. not only are they ancient chinese kirk/spock, but everything else about their dynamic is just so fucking good!!!! childhood enemies to reluctant friends to shy crushes to soulmates in pursuit of justice and Doing The Right Thing to them against the world to one of them dies and the other wears white in mourning for 16 years to one of them is resurrected and the other knows its him immediately to a stronger connection than ever to once again them! against! the! world! to LOVERS to MARRIED to DOMESTIC BLISS AND RAISING THEIR CHILD TOGETHER. its..............a lot! and its so good! 

this was super fun and im going to tag @wolfbuddy, @significationary, @curlytemple, and @nicolegendary (nicole i want to hear your essay on the gay alien cw show very badly) if you guys are interested in doing this!!!

[crimsonredemption]

Your take on the gang as Disney princes/heroes etc?

okay, this is my jam! @arthurs-atonement ​ helped me with a few of these! Thanks bby! Please feel free to add more!  Yall this is gonna be a long post!

Van der Linde boys and girls as Disney’s heroes/heroines 

Notes: This is completely random, sometimes I just go with the general vibes from the characters, sometimes the storyline, etc. I think I saw a post by @redemptionbaby ​ weeks ago talking about this but I can baaaarely remember it?? 

Arthur Morgan: Captain Phoebus (The Hunchback of notre dame) honestly I just kinda think they have quite a bit in common. They’re strong, trustworthy, kind and caring. Even though they both value loyalty, they decide to go against the wishes and orders of their superior, in order to do the right thing and follow their heart. Also, I could just easily see Arthur falling for Esmeralda or someone of her caliber. 

Javier Escuella: Eugene Fitzherbert aka Flynn Rider (Tangled) We all know of Javier's past as a thief, and I love the idea of Javier climbing up a tower in hopes of finding a treasure only to be greeted by a woman who just smacks him with a frying pan, he would also almost definitely try to help her escape as well, he has a big soft heart. Javier and Flynn are both kinda vain so I could absolutely imagine Javier being unhappy with his wanted posters “THIS LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME” 

Charles Smith: Hercules They’re both very big, strong and soft boys/men who actually really only wanna help those in need. Charles, as well as Hercules, takes on a lot of responsibility. While Hercules does that because he thinks it’s his duty as a hero, Charles does it out of love for the ones he cares about and the goodness of his heart. I’m not tryna say Hercules doesn’t have a good heart u know what I mean ALso I wouldn’t mind seeing Charles in Hercules outfit thank you

Dutch van der Linde: John Smith (Pocahontas) I see some similarities here between those two men, mainly their very fastly shifting priorities. They both are very quick to be fire and flames for something or someone, but it doesn’t take long for them to lose interest. Their priorities change and if those who are close to them do not share their visions, they abandon them. John left Pocahontas in the movies and never answered her letters, or got back to her. Later on, he decides he would just rather sail the world, instead of spending his life with her and when she tells him that she has responsibilities that she can’t run from, he leaves her behind. Dutch also leaves those who love him behind in the end. 

Emma (@arthurs-antonement) says that Gaston is also a very good fit for Dutch, and I agree! While I don’t think Dutch is AS vain as Gaston, he definitely has those tendencies. Much like Gaston, Dutch thinks he’s doing the right thing, and it gets to a point where he doesn't listen to reason anymore which more or less leads to his death. 

Lenny Summers: Aladdin Lenny is a young, inexperienced boy who relies on guidance from the people who surround him and who he looks up to. Both are parentless and thus so crave a place to belong, a better life even. Aladdin is brave, fast on his feet, loyal and also very smart and mischievous; somehow all these fit Lenny perfectly in my opinion?  

Kieran Duffy: Milo Thatch (The lost empire of Atlantis) Okay we know Milo’s biggest asset is his intellect, it’s what get him to join the expedition to Atlantis in the first place. He’s academically trained, which of course is nothing Kieran can say for himself? But none of the gang members can really, so whatcha gonna do. What I love about Kieran is that he’s so incredibly loyal to those he loves, he fights for what he thinks is right. He’s shy and introverted, and so is Milo. They don’t believe they have much to give but that’s so far from the truth, and those who truly get to know them will see that they’re willing to give their all to the right cause. 

Mary-Beth Gaskill: Ariel (The little mermaid) Mary-Beth is a true romantic at heart, and I just know she would have liked the original story of the little mermaid by Hans-Christian Anderson, even though it ends tragically. But we’re with Disney now so, yeah. She’s young, headstrong, loves to daydream, and likes the thrill of adventure. Who am I describing? Is it Mary-Beth? Is it Ariel? We’ll never know. I also can see Mary-Beth actually selling something vital to an evil witch in exchange for a chance to be with her one true love. 

Hosea Matthews: Mufasa (The Lion King) Another suggestion from Emma, which I’m so thankful for because it fits perfectly!! He’s a father figure to Arthur, as much as Mufasa is a father to Simba. Hosea sees through Arthur in a heartbeat and tells him to stay true to himself and to the cause, the real one. Mufasa also reminds Simba to remember who he is and to stay true to his heart. 

John Marston: Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid)  I gotta be honest with you guys I thought long and hard about Johnny M. and I know it doesn’t fit perfectly, but??? I would go with Eric???? I can just perfectly imagine John at the beach, being rescued by someone with a beautiful voice and falling in love instantly, just to be fooled later on because someone else has that exact same voice but looks nothing like the woman who saved him? He’s a little dumb but has a good heart, they both do. 

I also thought about Jack Skellington, someone who wants to escape their current situation because it’s getting unbearable. But it doesn’t work out and he has to fall back into old patterns, into his old life. Also really resonates with Johns life, I think. 

Molly O’Shea: Duchess (The Aristocats) Literally the first thing that came to my mind was the Duchess, whose life has been turned upside down the moment she met this charming stray who shows her the world outside of her guarded home. Molly fell for an outlaw and abandoned her wealthy life for the chance of love, but it turned out to be only a shadow of what she hoped to get. The end of Aristocats is, of course, a happy one. 

Tilly Jackson: Rapunzel (Tangled) Okay can I just say that I adore the visuals here? Tilly sitting in the frame of her window, a book in her hand and an increeeedibly long braid falling down the side of the tower??? Aside from that, Rapunzel's story reminded me a little bit of Tilly. She was “imprisoned” in a gang for a significant amount of time until she freed herself and found a life and a family that loves her. Kinda like Tilly, who was “imprisoned” in her former camp and found Dutch his gang, who protected and cared for her. 

Abigail Marston: Nani (Lilo and Stitch) It actually took me a while to think of a good mother figure...I suppose Disney is notoriously ignoring mothers, or often have them as the villains. While of course Nani isn’t Lilo’s mother, she slips into the role of a parent after their actual parents died. She’s impulsive, and chronically overwhelmed and stressed (but duh she’s not that old herself of course she’s stressed) but also very loving and understanding. Abigail shares all these traits I think! 

Sadie: Merida (Brave)They’re both very headstrong, impulsive and independent. If they put their mind to something, you can be sure that they’re gonna try to make it happen - whatever it takes. 

[satanicstfrancis]

MUSES AESTHETICS  –  HORROR !!

BOLD WHATEVER APPLIES & tag people. add stuff & even change the format to your liking ! naturally, repost, don’t reblog!

CLASSIC.

black and white.  powder puffs.  red lipstick.  winged eyeliner.  white kitten heels.  BLACK LACE LINGERIE.  icy blue eyes.  rain.((GET IT?))  abandoned cars.  skeletons.  acid.  POISON.VOYEURISM. SWITCHBLADES.  strangling.((GET IT?)) overcoats. LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER.  trans-atlantic accents.  private detectives.  dinner parties.  haunted mansions.  cobwebs.  perfect blonde curls. KITCHEN KNIVES.  shock.  CELLARS.  dust. ghosts. DARK ALLEYS.  EMPTY STREETS.  horn-rimmed glasses.  radiation.  zombies.serial murder. SUSPICION.  PARANOIA.. the city. witches. THE DEVIL. CANNIBALISM.conspiracies. amulets. ABJECT TERROR. the American South. the American Northeast. England. analog cameras.

CRYPTID & URBAN LEGEND.

aliens.  blinding light.  DARK WOODS.  driving at night. CLAW MARKS. BITE MARKS.  men in black.  MEMORY LOSS.  DISMEMBERED BODIES.  sewers.  flashlights.  cell phones.  video cameras. cars with tinted windows.  UNLABELED CASSETTE TAPES. bugs.  big cities. urban crimes.  clowns. SOMETHING RUSTLING OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW.  glowing light. UNSOLVED MYSTERIES.   suburbia.  mirrors. the american pacific northwest. the american midwest. hiking.  backpacking.

GOTHIC.

gaslights.  corsets.  ballrooms. CANDLELIGHT.  MIST. STARLESS NIGHTS. FULL MOONS. cobbled streets.  horse-drawn carriages.  MYSTERIOUS STRANGERS. bogs.  moors. forests. mountains.  castles. VELVET.  silver. brass.  GOLD.  jewels.  domino masks.  the opera. DANGEROUS ROMANCES. tragic romances. violins.  ROSES.  lilies. EMPTY GRAVES. crosses.CEMETERIES. snow.  ice.  the gallows. crows. milk-white skin.  ambiguous illness. FANGS.  POINTED NAILS.  SOMETHING HOWLING IN THE NIGHT. capes.  gloves. top hats.  straight razors.  lightning. pipe organs.  underground caverns.  bats.  mice. rats.  ravens. CATS.  pearls.  attics. talismans.  axes.  wood.  isolation in a room full of people.  vampires. werewolves. ghosts.  coffins.  western europe.  eastern europe.  bones.  CHURCHES.  CATACOMBS.  mausoleums  books.

PARANORMAL.

malevolent spirits. seances.  spells.  MISSING BODIES.  hidden graves.  white noise. static. FLICKERING LIGHTS.  rings of salt.  DEMONS.  poltergeists. DARK HISTORIES.  old buildings. cold air. wells.  urban exploration. A DOG BARKING AT UNSEEN THINGS.  iconoclasm.  BLACK OOZE. old photographs.  dark bodies of water. crucifixes.  priests. possession.  exorcisms. dolls.

SLASHER.

BLOODBATHS. massacres.  WANTON NUDITY.  newspapers. LEATHER JACKETS.  letterman jackets. CONVERSE SNEAKERS. OBSCURED FACES.  SOCIAL UNREST. bonfires. lakes. babysitters. high school.  lockers. DEAD LEAVES IN THE FALL.  JACK - O - LANTERNS.  PASSING SHADOWS. outdated television sets. NIGHTMARES.psychiatrists.  hospitals. UNSTOPPABLE FORCES. gunfire.  police.  landline telephones.IMPROVISED WEAPONS. HALLOWEEN. SECRETS.  revelations. cut wires.  character masks. scrunchies.  wild curls.  jeering children. PARTIES. FIRE. SWEARING. REVULSION. california. the american midwest. ambulances.

THRILLER.

daylight.  fluorescent lighting. MORGUES.. UNWAVERING EYE CONTACT. TENSION.  lit rooms. empty rooms. KILLER IN PLAIN SIGHT.  a dog digging in the newly-planted flower bed.  STEELY GAZES. paperwork. anagrams.  codes. convicted killers. MISSING PERSONS. law enforcement.  federal agents. small towns.  SUSPICION. PARANOIA. SUBDUED TERROR.  DIMLY LIT PARKING LOTS.  A NOISE IN THE DISTANCE.

tagged by: @halflingvero

tagging: no one! I think yall did this! 

[jcmorgenstern]

I finally watched 3x19 and I'm sorry but this was the dealbreaker for me. I tried to be openminded about the show twinning Clary to Jonathan but this episode just highlighted why that was a shit decision and 3x20 looks so anticlimactic I want to cry. Magnus had no agency in his storyline. Maia's storyline revolved around her shitperson ex. The heavenly fire was embarrassingly stupid (but blacksmith Izzy was hot af). Dark Clary and Jonathan are fucking flops. I'm out, friend.

I’m so sorry you feel that way, nonnie. If it makes you feel any better, I think everyone kind of feels like they’re clutching at scraps. And like, I feel for the individual writers because tbh they’re all like…one-shot writers under a lot of stress and pressure and are doing their best, but…the season really didn’t come together for me either, mostly for the reasons you’ve said. I don’t know what kind of constraints todd and darren were under, so I understand it’s possible a lot of stuff was going on behind the scenes we didn’t know about, but I’m kind of disappointed with how they chose to organize the season.

I have to admit, I never liked the clary/jonathan bond from the get-go, (honestly i was morose for weeks and bitched about it so much my coworkers at the lab were like SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP about your stupid tv show) mostly because it tripped off so many consent issues for me. like, tbqh, if I wanted to see a man feel entitled to a woman literally all I have to do is go outside. so if they were going to do it, I expected some MAJOR rennovations but…they really didn’t, so far. I like what Kat and Luke brought to it but….the seb/jace bond was already on Thin Fucking Ice as far as “fundamental consent issues” go, but like in canon he doesn’t really have THAT much interest in Jace (esp sexually) so like….you can dance around it in fic. but the way they’ve chosen to romanticize jonathan’s obsession and entitlement to his…sister… is….really just not very enjoyable?

And like yall. you know I enjoy a good bit of sebclace/morgencest but like….not like this, where it kind of feels the writers kiiiiind of don’t give a shit about consent at all, or didn’t really make an attempt to work it through (or really even think about it lol). This is doubled when you look at the Maia/Jordan plotline where like….ok if this was a beautifully written slice of life character study (10 episodes per season, 1.5 hours each) I could see them delving into the realism of Maia kind of getting back with Jordan only to realize he’s bad news. but like. the show is not beautifully written, they don’t have the time or space to delve into a complex issue in a meaningful way, so really it just comes across as romanticizing a shitty/abusive ex. Which…again. Not ideal.

The club scenes were fun but honestly (and yall know how little I say this), it really nailed home how fucking good the first half of COLS really was in terms of,,,,intrigue and this fun romp through Europe with these dark undertones and honestly the show felt a bit cartoonish? Like take it from someone who writes a lot of bad fanfiction….it felt like bad fanfiction. bad fanfiction with HUGE and glaring consent issues lolololololololololol

and like I’ve talked about both these things with @neenwolf a lot and…what she said and I agree with wholly is that…even if they have maia curb stomp Jordan (they won’t, he’s going to die tragically so she can suffer more), they still made her ENTIRE storyline about ….dudes, specially her shitty ex so like….no? They marketed this as “maia gets the pack and becomes alpha and shows people who’s boss” but that….never happens at all and it’s. a little embittering. (Very. embittering). and like she’s got the Good Thoughts so Nina if you wanna add more pls do

Honestly tho…re:3x20. if there’s anything I’ve learned about this show is that they SUCK at cutting trailers so like…idk. I’m expecting a little more than the trailer, but at the end of the day…3a’s finale feel VERY flat for me so I’m expecting more of the same. We know Jonathan does a villainous face-heel turn so ……it’s gonna be junk, from my point of view, and like all the other threads I enjoy are kind of shit rn so like…..can we not???

And I’ve been thinking about Magnus more and….I think my big problem there was that he wasn’t really working through his issues or even grappling with what had happened to him, he was just….kind of used as a shipping prop. and I get why it happened–they wanted to replicate the success of 2x18, but didn’t realize this is…a very different scenario and that people actually cared about what’s happening with magnus (sleeping for 15 hours? coping with alcohol? breaking down in front of alec and feeling ashamed of it? feeling so unwhole without his magic he’s willing to die to get it back?) separate from just ~m@l3c drama~ like what the narrative requires there is not shippy montages but actual character work looking at Magnus’ struggles, and at Magnus himself. and so overall it just left me with this bitter feeling that a) magnus losing his magic, his only independent plot since 1902, was all just to further the ship and b) that anyone actually thinks we WANT m@l3c drama in the year of our lord 2019. (seriously can there be just ONE chill couple in this show for ONCE).

everything about heavenly fire IS embarrassingly stupid (how the sword starts flaming right when she picks it up?? ghslkfjhghghhghghhghgghgg) but yeah blacksmith izzy was….Very Good. (I’m so proud of my honorary Iron Sister!!!) I was kind of concerned she’s smelting with liquid metal with bare skin but a) i know jack shit about the finer details of forging and b) honestly that’s probably the least of izzy’s worries writing-wise so whatever.

anyway we can go on but rest assured nonnie it’s……..Not just you who’s like “wtf lol” it’s kind of all of us at this point.

[johnnymundano]

Surveillance (2008)

Directed by Jennifer Lynch

Written by Kent Harper and Jennifer Lynch

Music by Todd Bryanton

Country: United States

Language: English

Running Time: 98 minutes

CAST

Julia Ormond as Elizabeth Anderson

Bill Pullman as Sam Hallaway

Pell James as Bobbi Prescott

Ryan Simpkins as Stephanie

Michael Ironside as Captain Billings

French Stewart as Officer Jim Conrad

Kent Harper as Officer Jack Bennett

Mac Miller as Johnny

Hugh Dillon as Dad

Cheri Oteri as a Mom who is not having a good time

Look, we might as well get the Elephant Man in the room out of the way: Jennifer Lynch is David Lynch’s daughter. Having enjoyed everything David Lynch has produced cinematically, it warms my cockles no end to be able to extend that praise to something he has produced biologically, his child. I wasn’t expecting to, after all I’m of an age where I can remember her first movie Boxing Helena (1993) being kickboxed to a pulp by critics and audiences alike. Despite my love of Lynch and a general keenness for cinema, I’ve never felt the need to seek out Boxing Helena, mostly because every single person I know who has seen it (all two of them; both ladies, strangely) without exception kind of roll their eyes and do a little shiver, and not in a good way, to this very day. But because I still enjoy doing inexplicable things, I just took the plunge and ordered this movie ten years after its original release. I even had to go the extra mile and get an (all regions) import because it’s so crazily popular it’s not even on Blu-Ray in the UK. Anyway, we all have other things we’d rather be doing, so I’ll cut to the chase: Jennifer Lynch’s Surveillance rocked balls nasty. And hard.

A couple of over-caffeinated and endearingly nervy FBI Agents,  Anderson (Ormond) and Hallaway (Pullman), rock up at a remote Nebraskan police station, isolate the survivors of a roadside slaughter, which may also be connected to a woman missing from an earlier savage home invasion, and try to piece together what exactly a mismatched bunch of unreliables witnessed. And all the while, keeping pace alongside them are the audience. (Maybe. That bit’s up to you.) Think Rashomon (1950) set in a Black Lodge version of the Twin Peaks’ Police Dept. If that’s not tickled your fancy then save your spleen and drive on by.

Surveillance’s script is good, but maybe not as good as it thinks, and the direction is also good but it can get a little muddled during some crucial junctures; mild carps aside both script and direction are way above par; fun stuff. But what makes Surveillance a great experience are the full-throated performances. These are some talented people tucking into what actors might call The Real Good Stuff. Even Ryan Simpkins, whose performance here made her the first child to win Best Actress at the New York City Horror Film Festival. I could almost feel the pleasure coming off some of these dudes and dudettes like noon heat off Texas tar. A real sense that with every lightning flash switch from one emotional extreme to another which successfully avoided the whiplash of hammery they were purring inside. And justifiably so. This is some seriously bizarre business the audience is asked to buy into, and the fact they do (well, I did) rests squarely with the hyperkinetic thesping. Everyone onscreen is great but some are greater than others, but then some have more to work with than others; some of them also last longer than others.

Pullman is insanely good, visibly subject to some kind of inner, emotional peristalsis throughout, Ormond is sensitive but steely when needed, French Stewart and Kent Harper are horrible power abusers but tragically so, Michael Ironside is clearly cock-a-hoop to be playing a decent if slightly dim man who just wants a cigarette, Pell James gives real good junkie and so on and so forth; even the guy who ODs after a minute’s screen time does so in way that’s both horrible and funny. That’s pretty much the key to the movie’s appeal; the embrace of extremes. So, yeah, kudos to Lynch for giving the actors enough trust and freedom to go all in. Risky shit that, but it pays off here. I just really enjoyed being with these people for 98 minutes. Which is 90 minutes more than I enjoy most real people’s company. Oh, they aren’t nice characters for the most part; for the most part the characters are cockawful human beings, but Surveillance manages to make them all sympathetic, even the worst of them. After all if humans can sometimes be monsters, then monsters can also sometimes be human; I read that in a fortune cookie. Basically, Surveillance is the kind of fucked up flick that puts fur on my peaches. C’mon, y’all and get some fur on your peaches. Yeehaw!

[monochromemedic]

Hey yall know how much @skidspace is like Abe’s number one fan I’m like that but with Wilford I love all the egos some more then others but god damn Wilford hits all my qualifications for a likeable character Weird? Not human?? Tragic??? Nice? IF you ever want to send me Wilford stuff go ahead actually any stuff in general but Will stuff yeah (also for Jack’s egos I love Anti with a passion but like Chase Brody? Schneep? JJ???  damn so many good boys) ... I slept alot today ok don’t judge me