#jabber blabbering

[beach-bear-enjoyer]

i think the world would be better if we all collectively stopped using spotify

[sspacegodd]

[basilpaste]

god homestuck day. in like three hours.

[chrissdollie]

mornings with yapper!yn and quiet!matt

sfw, 480 wc, fem reader, cuteness overload!!

you yawn, stretching out your limbs as the early morning sun peeks through your window. sprawled on your boyfriend matt, you lean over to kiss his cheek repetitively until he wakes up. he sighs, keeping his eyes shut while adjusting his position so that he’s on his back. he slowly opens his lids so he can stare up at you. you’re already feeling like your bubbly self, a cute patient smile on your face as you wait for him to fully awaken:

matt looks adorably sleepy. his hair is all messy and his boxers are a little below his waist. the brunette lets out a big bear yawn, scratching his beard before lazily wrapping an arm around your waist. you brush strands of hair out of his face. “g’morning baby..!” you coo, gently stroking his cheek. he hums, fighting to keep his eyes open. you lean over to your nightstand , picking up your phone to check the time. you let out a small gasp. “it’s 10:30! i went to bed at 1:30 last night and i was gonna set my alarm but then i forgot because we were so “busy”, anyway, i woke up all naturally and at a decent time too-“ your blabbering begins first thing in the morning, it’s not surprising to your boyfriend at all.

you bounce around lightly while spewing out words for two minutes with matt mumbling “oh yeah?” and “that’s good, baby”’s every couple of seconds just so you know he’s listening. your fidgety movement halts and you tap your boyfriend’s shoulder. “gotta pee.” you roll over him while he grunts and head to the bathroom. before you can even call him over, he’s stretching his arms and exclaiming, “i’m comin’ sweetpea.” before getting out of bed to follow you into the bathroom. you happily shut the door and bounce to the toilet while matt stands in front of you with his arms crossed.

you frown. “ahem, spin!” you twirl your fingers. he puts his hands up and turns around to face the wall. you drop your nightgown and panties before sitting down on the toilet to commence with your third story of the day. matt can’t help but giggle at your sweet chattiness, even though he’s been with you for over a year now. he hears you flush the toilet and spins back around to watch you wash your hands. “and then she told me and lucia— oh yeah baby thank you, i was gonna fix that last night but..-“ you cut off your tale as matt reaches to the back of your head to pull out the scrunchie from your messy head.

he holds up your hair in a high ponytail with the scrunchie between his teeth as you jabber on about your hair. he ties it into a cute messy bun before pecking your lips and heading out the bathroom.

[tom-foolery-incorporated]

HI!! i recently read your posts ab the free use human and promptly lost my mind they're so delicious 🙏

i was wondering if you would be able to do something smutty between swerve and a human reader?? i already KNOW he would fantasize ab getting crazy with a human but then when he finally gets offered the chance to do it? he's obviously not gonna miss the chance but he's really nawt gonna know what to do with himself 😭

I am a hopeless slut for Swerve. Sir please blabber to me about nothing while I gaze at you with heart eyes.

Swerve x reader, gender neutral AFAB reader, racially ambiguous, fluff to smut, mutual pining, oral, dirty talk, size kink, strength kink

Swerve couldn’t help when his gaze lingered on you sitting on the bar. Little human form so tiny compared to the mechs around you. Even compared to a minibot like Swerve you were puny.

He couldn’t help the thrum in his spark when you looked up at him like he was your world. He couldn’t help the flush of energon in his faceplate when you reached up and held his servo. Your hand wrapped around three of his fingers as he walked you back to your habsuite every night after you help him with his bar.

So small, so soft, so cute.

You were just sitting there kicking your legs and jabbering with some of the lingering bots while Swerve cleaned up.

“This is the longest I’ve heard you quiet,” Nautica mused placing her empty cup on top the bar.

Swerve jolted swinging his helm to the femme meche before him. “Y-yeah?” He stuttered out hoping she hadn’t caught on to his ogling. “It’s been a long cycle.”

Nautica smirked with a knowing look on her face. “Yeah? Bet it’s gonna be a long night too.”

Swerve immediately caught on to what she was insinuating. He nearly dropped the glass he was cleaning and ended up fumbling it in the air for a good second before catching it.

“Are you okay, Swerve?” You ask noticing his strange behavior.

“Yeah! I’m fine!” Swerve reassured you nervously.

You smiled at Swerve before returning your attention to the bot in front of you. Nautica chuckled behind her servo trying to hide her knowing smile. “The human is totally into you,” she teased quietly.

Swerve scowled at Nautica. “Don’t joke about that.” He turned his gaze to you longingly as you waved goodbye to the final bots leaving the bar. “I think you got a chance,” Nautica said to Swerve. “They may or may not have said something to me.” With that Nautica left Swerve to his gaping jaw on the floor. You gave her a wave goodbye before turning to Swerve.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You ask with a giggle.

Swerve coughs trying to gather himself his vents running flusteredly. “Yeah! Yeah I’m totally cool,” he said more so trying to reassure himself. Under your gaze he felt like his plating was on fire. Your concerned little stare and how you sat so demurely on his bar. “Want to be a gentleman and walk me home again?” You asked with a flirtatious inclination.

Or at least Swerve thought as much. Maybe Nautica was just getting in his head. There would be no way he could have a chance with you. Someone like Rodimus or Mirage is more your type. Someone heroic and strong and definitely cooler than him.

“Why I’d be honored,” Swerve said in a mock posh accent and with an animated bow.

Your laughter was like twinkling bells in his audials. You reached your arms out for Swerve and he nearly passed out. Your arms outreached looking for him. He moved in, pedes heavy against the bar floor, as he wrapped his arms around your waist in a hug.

You made a soft sound of surprise but hugged Swerve back giving him a couple pats on his helm. “As much as I like the hug, can you help me off the bar?”

Swerve felt like he took a kick directly to his spark. Of course you weren’t looking to hug him. Hell, he did this routine with you everyday! Nautica’s words wormed around his processor laying parasitic eggs in his thoughts.

Swerve lifted you up off the bar counter trying to savor the feeling of your soft body against him. Your feet met the ground as Swerve gently set you down.

Your hands slid down his arm plating during your descent as Swerve’s servos landed on the back of your biceps. “Thank you, Swervy,” you smiled unintentionally letting the nickname slip from between your lips. You two stayed like that for a little bit; Swerve marveling at how you felt in his embrace and you burning up from embarrassment.

“Wait-“ Swerve laughed standing up straight. “Swervy?”

You sputtered trying to find an explanation for the nickname. Swerve reached out pinching your cheeks. “You’re so cute! Please don’t stop being so cute!” You made an annoyed noise at having your cheeks pinched but made no move to stop Swerve.

“Hey,” Swerve’s suddenly serious tone caught you off guard. “Do you want to come over to my habsuite and watch-“

“Yes!”

You both blinked at each other surprised by your eager acceptance of Swerve’s invitation. The minibot called back to what Nautica said feeling his knee joints wobble a bit.

“Y-yeah?” Swerve gulped with excitement. His Servos cupped your face stroking your cheek with his thumb.

“Are you asking me out?” You asked holding onto Swerve’s wrists.

This was supposed to go differently in Swerve’s processor. He was supposed to be smooth and suave, leaning over the bar nonchalantly cleaning a glass. He’d say something flirtatious making you swoon. He’d butter you up then drop the question. He could have rescued you from a mean bot teasing you for your height and organic limitations. He’d stand up for you and tell that bot off and he’d be a hero in your eyes. He could have ran into you in the halls making you drop your books and he’d help you pick them up. Your little hand would make contact with his servo and you two would slowly look up at each other. He’d offer to carry your books and walk you to wherever you were going.

“Swerve?”

The minibot so stuck in his daydreams of what should have been didn’t even realize that he’d been staring at you and mindlessly stroking your face.

“Yeah?” He said barely above a whisper.

“Yes to you asking me out or yes to me saying your name?”

“Yes to both!” Swerve exclaimed sweeping you up into another hug. You squeaked surprised at being suddenly lifted into the air and engulfed in mechanized arms. He pressed his faceplate into the side of your head taking in the feeling of your body against him as well as your scent. “Primus I can’t believe it.” You giggled patting his shoulder plate.

Swerve adjusted your position so you were sitting in the crook of his arm with one servo holding onto your calf and the other supporting your waist. You held onto his shoulder plates and smiled down at the minibot.

“I can’t believe you’d actually agree to going out with me after that whole disaster of an invitation! I mean I had this whole scenario planned out where I’d wine and dine you.” Swerve chuckled stroking your waist with his thumb.

“It’s okay, Swerve,” you giggle cupping his face. “The whole bar could have caught fire too and I’d still say yes.”

Swerve’s engine rumbled so enamored with how you stroked the metal of his fave as well as how you spoke to him. Nautica ended up being right. Every time she’d come in here and tease him for his little crush, telling him he should ask the little human out, she was right. Swerve’s spark thrummed through his chasis as you left a small kiss on his forehead just above his visor.

“I’ve really liked you for a while,” you admit shyly. “I just didn’t know if I’d be ruining our friendship if I said something.”

“I don’t think you could do anything that would make me not want to be around you,” Swerve reassured you. “You could straight up kill me and rip my spark out and I’d haunt you trying to hang out with you!”

You snorted giving Swerve another kiss to his forehead. Swerve let out a little huff and furrowed his optic ridge. “I don’t get a kiss on the cheek too?” He said tapping his cheek with his finger. You laughed leaning down to give him a kiss on his cheek but at the last minute he turned his helm causing your lips to collide with his instead of his face.

What was supposed to be a little gag on his end ended up turning into you gripping his face and pushing your mouth against his intake. His optics widened glowing brightly behind his visor but he did nothing to move away. Instead he gripped your hip with his servo and returned your passions.

His intake moved fluidly against your lips like two pieces of a puzzle finally coming together. Swerve couldn’t help the groans of delight he released into your mouth. You tasted so sweet on his glossa like honied energon. When you finally pulled back for air he couldn’t help but try to chase after you before taking in your face.

Sweaty, panting, and you felt so much warmer. Your eyes were half lidded and your pupils blown wide.

“I wanna frag you so bad,” Swerve said in an airy voice. Your eyes widened in shock at how forward he was being. “Wait! I didn’t mean to-“ you cut him off with another kiss this time more passionately. Your tongue slithered across his dermas. The whimper he let out made you clench your thighs. He opened his intake allowing his glossa to move against yours.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” Swerve mumbled against your lips. You devilishly nipped at his bottom lip. “God Swerve,” you groaned between kisses. His name coming from your mouth danced around his processor like a melody. “Please fuck me.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin at how loud Swerve’s engine revved. You barely had enough time to laugh before he was tossing you over his shoulder plate and rushing out of the bar. “Oh man,” Swerve huffed as you bounced with his stride. “Holy shit I can’t believe this is happening!” A couple mechs you two passed by looked at you concerned before donning a knowing look when he realized what Swerve had planned for the Lost Light’s little human.

You covered your face slightly embarrassed that so many mechs now knew that not only were you a robotfucker but you were also on your way to pound town with Swerve as your conductor.

Swerve’s habsuite door opened with a swish. Being mindful of your head and the doorframe, Swerve rushed into his room and flopped you on his metal berth. Your head made sharp contact with it creating a loud bonking sound that made Swerve freeze and you laugh.

You held the back of your head where it started to sting laughing with no noise at the ridiculousness of the situation. Swerve bit his knuckles as he reached his other servo out for you. “Are you okay? Shit, I didn’t kill you did I? I can’t kill you on our first date!”

You shook your head propping yourself up on your elbows. “I’m fine!” You laughed feeling the stinging start to fade. “I’m fine, I promise.” Swerve seemed to relax a little as he reached out to hold your head. He made you bend your neck forward as he towered over you making sure the back of your head was truly okay. Swerve let out a sigh of relief while stroking your hair. “I totally forgot you’re not as durable as us,” Swerve murmured softly. “I thought I would be all romantic and throw you on the bed.”

You hummed wrapping an arm around Swerve’s neck to the best of your ability. “I thought it was pretty romantic,” you said with a smile. “I mean it’s not everyday such a stud of a mech gives me a concussion.”

Swerve huffed picking you up from under your armpits and adjusting his position so he was sitting with his legs crisscrossed and you in his lap. He rested his servos on your waist with a dissatisfied look on his faceplate. “Now don’t go spreading rumors that I knocked you out or gave you brain damage on our first date!”

You wriggled in his grip so you were straddling his lap. “Aww,” you teased while holding Swerve’s face. “That’s the only reason I’m here. I thought you were going to fuck my brains out.”

The steam that released from Swerve’s vents made your shirt ruffle. His face was flushed blue with energon and his grip on your waist tightened. “I can’t believe you’re here,” Swerve murmured leaning down towards your face. You met him half way tipping your head up so you could capture his dermas with your lips.

Swerve groaned into your mouth as his servos explored your back and hips. “You’re so soft,” Swerve mumbled into your mouth. “I can just squish you under my servos.” Swerve punctuated what he had said with a couple squeezes to your hips. You smiled into the kiss adoring how even when he was making out with you he still continued to talk.

You pulled back to get some air admiring Swerve’s dumbfounded expression. “Frag,” he said in an airy voice. “I-I don’t know what I’m doing. I mean I’ve never done this before! I mean I’ve fucked other bots before but I’ve never interfaced with a human! I know we have the same set up because I’ve seen human porn but I don’t-“

“You’ve watched human porn?” You asked pushing your chest against Swerve. He dropped his jaw not realizing what he had said. “What are you into,” you asked giddily rubbing your hands across his chasis.

“C’mon,” Swerve groaned tilting his helm back. “Just pretend you didn’t hear me say that.”

“Do you jack off to it?” You pushed further letting your hands wander to his shoulders. Swerve hissed steam at your teasing. His servos reached down to cup your rear as you explored his torso. “Cause sometimes I like to think of you when I do,” you whispered into his audial. Your whole body felt hot at that confession both aroused and embarrassed.

There was a click then a hiss like pressure being released before a heavy metal chord sprung between your legs.

“Shit!” Swerve said embarrassed. “Sorry I didn’t mean to do that!” He could already hear you laughing at him for how disgustingly turned on he was.

“Is that your dick?” You asked with wide eyes.

“It’s called a spike but yeah,” Swerve said wincing at your gawking.

“You’re huge,” you gaped trying to hold yourself back from touching his spike.

Swerve’s robotic cock twitched at your compliment. He could feel his cooling fans kicking on trying to keep him from overheating. Despite every hiccup today, despite how unsuave Swerve was, you showed him nothing but love.

“Can I touch it?” You ask feeling your underwear dampen at the sight.

“Yeah! Yes! Yes please!” Swerve begged squeezing your ass. You reached down giving his spike a firm stroke. His engine sputtered at the feeling of your soft hand against his arousal. “Primus,” Swerve gawked watching how you tenderly rubbed him. “Primus I can’t believe you’re here.”

You ran your thumb over his leaking tip gathering the pink transfluid and using it as lubricant to help your hand travel over the cabling of his cock. Swerve exvented hot air out of his frame. He couldn’t hold back the whimper that bubbled out of his intake at the pleasure you brought him.

“Noooo,” Swerve whined when you took your hand away from his spike. His protests were soon quieted when he saw you moving to take off your shirt and unbutton your pants. His optics darted to your chest with intrigue.

“Those-“ Swerve started sliding his servos up your body until he was holding your chest with his fingers splayed over your sides and part of your back. “Frag, these are your nipples.”

You giggled at Swerve’s dumbfounded yet aroused reaction to your chest. He ran his thumb over your nipples making you moan softly. “And humans just spray milk from these?” Swerve seemed almost giddy at the idea. “Sometimes,” you responded your eyes trained on where Swerve rubbed at your chest.

“Why do you guys do that? Is it like a defense thing or?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bloomed out of you. “No! Well maybe for some people but it’s mainly to feed babies,” you explained gently rubbing your pelvis against his spike. Swerve swore under his breath at your movements. He pinched at your nipples making you whine and arch your back towards him. You could feel the hot drift of hair from his vents.

“I want to put a baby into you,” Swerve groaned pulling at your sensitive nipples.

You whined pushing your chest into his grip. “Yeah?” You panted while grabbing his spike once again. “Yeah,” Swerve said tilting his helm down to bite at your neck. “I wanna see how much milk I can get from you.”

Swerve thrusted into your hand in time with your strokes. His intake brushed against your soft skin leaving kisses across the sensitive expanse of your neck. “I bet you’d be so tight,” Swerve whined doing his best not to be too rough with his biting. “Could I even fit in you? You’re just so much smaller! I mean, frag, I can pick you up with one servo.”

You moaned tilting your head to the other side so Swerve had better access to your neck. “I can stretch,” you said breathlessly. You could feel the desperation building inside of you. Swerve hummed with your nipples in his intake. You whined feeling so empty without Swerve’s spike filling you.

“Swerve!” You cried as you humped his lap. “Please! I want you to fuck me so bad!”

Steam blasted out of Swerve’s vents at your sudden desperation. “How?” He asked releasing your nipple with a pop. “How should I uhm do you?” He couldn’t help but feel awkward in the situation. While he was one to constantly speak for some reason dirty talk felt so different now.

You leaned back trying to wiggle out of your pants. The position made it awkward and Swerve had to help you by supporting your back with his servo and guiding the fabric down your legs. When your underwear and pants were finally slid off your body, Swerve could only gawk at your pulsing heat.

You were already so slick with need and he could feel the heat radiating off of your pussy. His Servos dug into your skin possessively and hard enough to make you squeak out in pain.

“Ah! Sorry! Sorry!” Swerve apologized lightening his grip on you.

“It’s okay,” you panted with your eyes half lidded. “I hope it bruises.”

Swerve sputtered in outrage. “You want me to bruise you?! Now why in the whole of Cybertron would you-“ then it hit him. You want him to mark you. You want him to leave evidence of his touch on your body for wandering optics.

“Frag,” Swerve said breathlessly. “Yeah? You want it to bruise?”

You nodded leaning forward to grab Swerve’s lips with yours. He moaned into the kiss letting his grip tighten on your hips once more. He rolled his pelvis up towards yours trying to find stimulation for his spike. You responded by eagerly pushing your sopping cunt against the throbbing metal cord.

Swerve swore his entire system crashed and rebooted when he felt the slick glide of your arousal along his spike. Your soft panting into his intake was like a drug fueling the violent lust for you that had been brewing inside of him for what felt like forever. He pulled back trying to stifle the rumble his engine made when he saw how you chased after him.

“How am I going to put this inside of you?” Swerve laughed giving you a rough thrust of his hips against your core.

You hadn’t considered that and thought for a second. “Let me take the lead for a bit,” you said steadying yourself with a hand on his shoulder.

“Please do,” Swerve smiled, his hands never leaving your hips.

You lifted yourself up off his lap using your knees so you could position his spike towards your hole. “Primus,” Swerve panted seeing the strings of arousal you left on his spike. “I got you that wet? Me? Frag, you think I’ll just slide in there?”

“I hope,” you panted grabbing a hold of Swerve’s spike in on hand and steadying yourself with the other. You aimed the pointed tip of his chubby cock towards your leaking hole. Swerve’s systems were buzzing in impatience at the thought of finally being inside of you.

You dipped your pelvis down trying to capture his cock but only ended up causing it to slip and push against your clit. You both gave an unexpected moan at the same time before you tried again.

With a firm grasp on his cock you tilted your vagina towards the tip and finally pushed down.

The immediate sting of being stretched by something so wide made you wince.

Swerve had to steady every impulse in his body to not thrust up into you. You were so tight and so warm. He could feel your pulse along the head of his spike and he forced your pussy open.

“B-big!” You panted trying to gather your thoughts.

“Yeah?” Swerve wiggled his optic ridge at you.

You huffed out a laugh trying not to let your shaky thighs give up on you and force your body onto his spike.

“Look at you,” Swerve gleamed feeling his spark swell with love. Your shaky body covered in sweat and so sensitive under his touch. He hadn’t even started properly fucking you and you looked absolutely ruined.

“Let me know when you’re-“ Swerve was interrupted mid sentence when he felt your sweaty knee slip against his plating making you lose balance. He was quick to grab your hips and keep you from being impaled but not before you took more of his girth.

You cried out throwing your head back. “Fuck!” Your voice was like a choir to him. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

Swerve gave a slow, experimental thrust up into your heat. “Is that good?” He asked with a slightly concerned look on his faceplate.

“It’s so good!” You moaned letting your hand drop from his shoulder and work at your clit. Your body weight was now completely supported in Swerve’s grip as he held you by your hips and waist.

Swerve wanted to drop you on his spike so bad just to see that shocked expression on your face when you’re filled to the brim with him. “Want me to fuck you now?” Swerve asked feeling more empowered by your reaction.

You nodded eagerly while trying to lean forward to take his mouth with yours.

“Ah, ah, ah!” Swerve tsked with a teasing smile. “You gotta use your words! I know humans are smarter than that.”

You pouted but gave in to his request. “Please! Please Swerve I want you to fuck me!”

“As you say,” Swerve gave in to the devil on his shoulder whispering into his intake to drop your weight on his spike.

The choked noise you made and how you tightened around him was somehow better than the shocked expression you made.

You were sat on his pelvis, pussy filly engulfing his spike with room for little else. Your sweet arousal leaked around him making his plating sticky with slick.

“You’re in my guts,” you choked out as tears came to your eyes.

Swerve leaned down to kiss the salty tears before they could run down your cheeks. “Feel good?” He asked starting to feel unsure if his impulsive action might have hurt you.

You nodded eagerly almost knocking your head against Swerve’s helm. He could only laugh in adoration at your desperation. “You’re tight,” Swerve said breathlessly. “I don’t think I’ve been with anyone this tight.”

“I’ve never been with someone this big,” you panted as you slowly began rolling your hips.

For some reason that sentence managed to make a nest within his processor. Unless you’ve been in the berth with other mechs you wouldn’t have been with someone as big as him. The idea that he was the first mech you’d ever fucked made his spark glow with need.

Swerve changed the position so your upper back was against his berth while he held your lower body in his servos. He curled his frame over yours to capture your pleasing lips into another kiss. He was going to show you how much better he was than any human you had ever been with. He was going to prove just how worthy he was in being your first mech.

You held onto his helm as you moved your lips against his then whined into his intake when he started his frantic thrusting.

He plowed into you like he’d lose you if he stopped. You could feel the backs of your thighs and your rear start to sting from making sharp fast contact with his metal plating.

The more you thought about it the more it scared you how strong Swerve was compared to you. Despite his rabbit like pace, Swerve was still holding back so he wouldn’t hurt you. He was managing to keep his pistons in place well enough to not break your pelvis.

You could feel his fat cable pushing your walls open and the thickest parts rubbing against your G-spot.

You finally had to pull away from Swerve’s intake to catch your breath earning a frustrated whine from the mech. He pushed forward trying to capture your lips once again but when you tilted your head up and away he settled on drowning your neck in love bites and kisses.

“Please,” Swerve begged between slathering your neck in love. “Please it’s so good!”

What he was begging for you weren’t sure but you tilted your hips up more in response.

The wet clapping that filled the room would be lodged in Swerve’s processor until his spark went cold. The feeling of your velvety walls pulsing around him was something he couldn’t believe he had lived all these years without. Swerve was sure that if he wasn’t inside of you fucking your body with all he had he would surely die.

“It’s too much!” You cried out tears prickling from the corners of your eyes. “It’s too big!”

Swerve tucked his helmet against the space between your neck and shoulder trying to memorize your scent. “I got you,” Swerve moaned. “You can take it.” He struggled through the last sentence as your walls clamped down on him like a beat trap. He could feel your body shiver and squirm in his iron grip as your orgasm overcame you. Your mouth was open in an O shape as your eyes were squeezed shut.

Swerve wrapped his metal arms around your body holding you flush to his frame as you rode out your orgasm. He swore he hadn’t seen a sight more beautiful than your body shivering in bliss in his grasp. He had never heard a sound more beautiful than how you shakily moaned out his name as he punched the air out of your lungs with each thrust.

You whined in his arms as his thick spike dragging along your walls soon became overwhelming. You were spread so wide and so sensitive you were sure your body was unraveling.

You could feel coolant tears dripping onto your body as Swerve sobbed in pleasure. “I love you!” He cried holding you like you were his last tether to this mortal realm. “Frag I love you so much!”

He could feel his valve clenching and his spike becoming more sensitive. The way you squeezed around him was becoming too much and before he could warn you as to what was happening, a thick stream of transfluid shot out of him filling your cunt to the point of leaking.

You shuddered at the warmth his overload brought inside of you. His fluid was almost unbearably hot as it sat in your womb. You could only concentrate on the feeling of being so unbelievably full with both his spike and his cum stuffed inside of you.

You shuddered and twitched in his hold all the while Swerve just clung to you like a teddy bear.

“Are you okay?” Swerve asked, his cooling fans whirring at their highest setting.

“S’good,” you managed to dribble out feeling like your body was no longer yours but instead a bowl of gelatin.

“Primus you feel so good,” Swerve groaned while stroking your hair. “Don’t make me pull out please. You’re so warm and soft and tight.” Swerve’s words slurred together as he gently started moving his hips once again.

You shivered and cried out pulling your legs close to your body as the overstimulation started to set in. “Too much!” You wailed shakily.

Swerve immediately stopped his humping but you couldn’t miss the last thrust he got in. “Sorry,” he mumbled against your neck. “Can we stay like this for a while?”

“Yes,” you sighed while running your hands up his helm. “Please don’t pull out.”

Swerve lifted his helm to plant a wet and loud kiss on your cheek. “I didn’t plan to.”

[sarcasticassian]

Steve only starts lying once all the kids have moved out of Hawkins, their families going with them, some left straight after Vecna was defeated, like Eddie and the Sinclairs and Byers-Hoppers, they immediately move out, the others finish high school and Robin and Nancy have already left to go to college, Robin tried to get Steve to come with her but he had to stay and look after Dustin, Eddie tried to get him to come with him and Wayne but again Steve said he had to stay and look after Max but now they're all gone and Steve is alone in Hawkins

Eddie and Robin still asked him to move out to live with them, they'd both ended up in California in the music business but for some reason Steve still stayed, deep down worried that the monster would return and someone would have to look after them, he tells Robin and Eddie about the final touches to the rebuilding efforts, his newly blossoming social life and the dates he goes on each week in an effort to find the one, chattering away to Eddie about this band he heard on the radio, he speaks to Eddie more than Robin, she's at work a lot or with her new friends but she'll always snatch the phone of Eddie if she comes home when Steve has called

Steve is lying about his social life though, he rarely leaves his big, cold, empty house, his parents long gone, he goes to work, watches the final pieces of rebuilding slot into place from behind the counter and he goes home, flinching at noises he thinks he hears and staring into space for long periods of time before he snaps to attention and fears something is coming for him, nothing ever does though

he manages 9 months by himself, alone in Hawkins, before he cracks, he's speaking to Eddie on the phone, clutching the plastic so hard it might crack and Eddie is jabbering on about a new band he went to see this weekend, his voice warm and happy as he blabbers on and Steve isn't saying anything, closing his eyes and letting Eddie's voice wash over him, letting it be the only thing he's aware of and as soon as he hangs up he starts to pack a suitcase, shoving in anything he cares about and its only half full when he closes it, then he gets in his car and drives to the airport, he parks the car in one corner and goes into the building, he buys a one way ticket to California and waits for his plane

when he gets to California he realises he's not sure how to get to Eddie's house and he can't afford a taxi to take him all the way there so he asks a nice looking elderly gentleman how to understand the bus network and the man offers to drive him instead, says he's off to see his niece who lives close enough so Steve hops in, tense and untrusting but desperate enough that he grabs the offer, the man is quiet and he reminds Steve of Wayne, the few times he'd met him and slowly as they crawl through LA traffic Steve relaxes, tells the guy he's going to stay with a friend who he's missed since he left and the man smiles a little, Steve asks to be dropped a couple blocks away, not wanting to cause trouble for this man and he walks the rest of the way to Eddie's, going off street names and the directions the man with the truck gave him

it starts to rain when Steve is a block away, he thought it was supposed to be sunny all the time in LA and later Eddie will tell him it usually is Steve just has shit timing, but he turns up at Eddie's door, sodden and nervous and a little pathetic looking but he knocks on the door, unsure if Eddie will even be in but he hears clattering inside and then the door is being yanked open, Eddie stares at him before he's leaping forward and wrapping Steve in his arms, Steve starts to cry immediately and Eddie ushers him inside, it all comes pouring out like the rain he's just left behind and he tells Eddie everything, how he was withering away in Hawkins but he couldn't leave, not until today or yesterday, his times have gone funny

Eddie just lets Steve curl up in his arms and holds him, lets him get snot and tears all over his shirt and doesn't mind when the wetness of Steve's jeans starts to soak into his own, Eddie just strokes his hair and tells him its gonna be okay and Steve believes him, closes his eyes and lets Eddie's voice wash over him again but this time its not the only thing he's aware of, he feels Eddie's warm hands on his thigh and in his hair, feels the firmness of Eddie's chest against his side and he can smell Eddie too and Steve lets himself drown in it all

he's content enough that hours later when Robin bangs down the door, like she could sense Steve was around, he lets her bully him out of Eddie's lap and lets her curl around him protectively and Steve screams at himself internally for not coming here before but he's safe now, he has Robin and Eddie here and he smiles into Robin's shoulder when he feels Eddie's fingers tangle with his and squeeze gently

[strwbivy]

DOZING OFF TOGETHER — BOKUTO KŌUTARŌ ‪♡‪

synopsis. you're away from bokuto for a long while now because of how busy college is, and because of this he begins to miss you so bad.

wc. 1.2k words | genre. fluffy | cw/tags. rusty writing, not proof read, college!reader, eepy reader, sleep call, whiny bokuto (≧ ▽ ≦)ゝ

m.list // hq. masterlist

you've got mail ✉ ! if you couldn't tell i really enjoyed describing bokuto 'rapidly' talking, also forgive me if i haven't posted anything lately D:

you were at your university dorm. your body swayed side to side from how tired you are. those long ass lectures and lessons really made your brain worn out.

making your way to the bed. you flopped down onto the furniture, its springs making you recoil on the soft sheets of the bed.

you began to ease up after finally getting to be able to get some rest. stretching your arms, you let out a loud yawn while your eyelids began to droop down. the tiredness you felt all day is getting to you.

you shifted on the bed, closing your eyes, and your thoughts began to drift off as you started to fall asleep.

ring! ring! ring!

the phone beside you is vibrating and was playing your ringtone loudly over and over again. you groaned and tried to let the call pass by, but the mysterious caller seems to not give up easily.

sighing, you lift your head heavily. your hand then grabs the phone. your tired eyes opened up slightly when you saw the callers name.

'bokou <3'

it's the cute nickname that you gave him.

and without hesitation, your thumb presses the green button. you then were greeted by a loud voice. "Y/N BABYYYYYY! I MISS YOU!" he says, ending it with a happy giggle.

"heyy bokou," you reply, trying to sound excited, but the exhaustion stopped you from doing so. "babyy can you open your camera? i miss that pretty face of yours." he says, clearly smiling through his words despite not having his camera open.

"but bokou i look tired-" your words were then cut off by bokuto. "so? c'mon babyy i just miss you badlyyy!" he then opens his camera, showing his face that had a pouty expression and puppy dog eyes that you couldn't resist.

and of course, this little eye trick of his works on you.

"fine." you sighed out in defeat. you then pressed the camera button, and his pouty expression instantly vanished away, now replaced with a cheery one. "i missed your face so much.." he said, adoring your face despite you looking like an absolute mess, but he loves it otherwise.

you rolled your eyes, trying to put on an 'annoyed' appearance, but the slight curve on your mouth betrays you. the man giggles through the phone, having a bright smile on his face.

the both of you then talked and told about each other's day. some blabbering here and some blabbering over there.

bokuto then starts to ramble on and on about random things that occurred to his day. you then laugh occasionally, trying to keep up with his lively rambling. but as much you want to pay attention and listen to your boyfriend's jabbering, your sleepiness just won't go away.

your eyelids drooped, heavy with weariness. the weight of your tiredness threating you to put you into sleep. you began succumb to the feeling of falling asleep, but you jerk your head up to prevent it.

lifting your head to look at the screen, it appears to be that bokuto hasn't stopped chattering. he seems to be talking about how he thinks the number 8 looks 'weird', and switches on to a new topic with an old story of his on how his mind had an impulsive thought to do a cartwheel in the middle of the road with his friends watching him, and to no one's surprise of course he does it.

his mindless chatter goes through your ear and goes out of the other. the exhaustion is really getting to you.

your drooping eyes then completely close down. but instead of jerking up your head this time, your tired mind shuts down, and his words start to become a blur. you can feel your consciousness fade away, and eventually, you doze away to a deep slumber.

minutes pass by, and bokuto's chatter starts to slow down as he notices the very quiet silence. he raises his brow and looks at his phone.

the view of your face sleeping peacefully, displayed on his phone. his eyes observed your face, taking notice the dark circles under your eyes. he hears your gentle breaths being emitted through the phone, and his eyebrows automatically scrunches up. 'aw man, did she get tired from me constantly talking?' he thinks to himself, pouting and feeling a dejected.

he overthinks for a reason to you sleeping so easily, despite him being quite loud during the call. but then his mind clicks as he recollects you talking about how your day went. "ahh, i see.." he sighs in relief that he wasn't the cause of it.

his eyes, then look back at your sleeping self. He smiles slightly. "i guess your classes really did something to you, huh?" he says in a hushed tone to not awaken you. an idea then pops into bokuto's mind. "i really wish we could talk more, but i guess you can still listen to me!" he puts up a bright smile before telling more about his day, even though you're well asleep.

he chatters went endlessly. he finds comfort when you just stay and listen to him just chatting. i guess you could say he enjoys being by you, being always ready to listen to him.

but alas, his talking came to a halt. he eventually falls asleep, his phone slipping out of his hand a bit. and because he fell asleep during the call, he fails to end it.

the call then goes on for hours. delicate soft breaths were heard on his phone while loud snoring was heard on yours.

morning then came, the loud sounds of the bustling street woke you up. stretching your arms with a yawn, you then observed your messy bed.

you then caught the sight of your phone, it was on and black and white tufts of hair were visible. you squint your eyes trying to remember the events of yesterday.

you then recall the memory of you falling asleep, whilst bokuto was rambling energetically. now that you recalled things, you took your phone that was hot to touch because it was open for a long time.

watching your boyfriend sleep, you chuckle lightly. causing him to be waken up and turn around—facing the camera.

his tired eyes look at his phone, and he sees your pretty face looking through the camera. you smiled at him. "morning bokou, did you sleep well?" you asked "yup, you uh fell asleep while we called." he says, letting out a tired giggle.

he rubs his eyes before speaking again. "soo, what time are you gonna go home later?" he asks, hoping for an early time.

you look at him baffled "huh? what do you mean, bo?" you give him a confused look, and he mirrors it "what time are ya' going home..?" he repeats himself

"bokou.." you put your hand against your face, lightly massaging it "what?" his brow raised up. he then waits for your next words.

"i.. um.. i'm not going home till next m—"

" WHAAATTT?? " he says, cutting you off with a blaring voice that echoed through your phone.

" aughh but why?? " he whines, dragging out the last word.

he continued to whine and pout for the next few minutes of the call. you watched him toss and turn around, his camera wobbled violently. the slight feeling of guilt caused you to sigh. you then tried to cheer him up by saying random things, but it wouldn't work.

he just really wants to see you right now so badly (；′⌒`)

copyright © strwbivy ↣ do not copy, translate or repost.

[alastor-simp-page]

Tell Me I'm Crazy

Stan Pines x OC (really just reader)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Con x Cop, ridiculous weird gravity falls stuff, etc.

Anyways, Stan Pines drives Officer Shepard insane and she does the same.

What little I’ve heard of Gravity Falls is that it's a sleepy town buried in Oregon state. All in all, an uneventful place with minimal crime, which is unfortunately what my job relies upon. So…as I tapped the steering wheel, speeding down an open road in Oregon country, I wondered: what is the point? Well, I know the point that Chief Thompson had drilled into my head for two straight hours. By the time, I’m sure he had even gotten to the meat of the information I probably, actually needed, I was slumped and done. 

So, here I am with the beautiful yet same sights streaming by over and over again. Redwoods, the occasional animal scurrying along somewhere within the woods. The sights that I kept hearing Rachel blabbering about for some odd minutes have grown quickly dull. I should’ve expected it. Sleepy town, in the middle of nowhere, for a favor. A favor, yeah. 

The favor being as much as I love them, Blubs and Durland going on honeymoon. Cute and all, the wedding was tedious as all weddings are. But you know, they’re happy. During the reception, the newly married grooms were already jabbering on about the next step in life: kids. Yikes. My car almost swerved across the solid yellow lines. Can’t do that, right? I rolled my eyes. I’m sure someone going about 200 miles would go speeding down on the dead road as I was crossing the line. 

Police officer. Yup, that’s what I am. The big bad rule follower with a baton and a loaded gun. The said loaded gun had been thrown in the backseat amongst the bags.

I chew the inside of my cheek as the first sign of civilization peeks over the canopy of trees: a water tower. Some pathetic attempt at vandalism is sprayed on the tower and surely committed by some bored teenager in this boring town. I squint at the amatuer graffiti drawn in stark red. A mushroom? I shrugged it off and my tired eyes peel back to the road once again. 

Gravity Falls. Blubs and Durland. Chief Thompson. Babysitting, that’s what this is. It isn’t unexpected. I’m young, inexperienced, called wide eyed by the seasoned smirking older officers. 

And look I’m not trying to be, you know, whatever the word is…ah, attention seeking but goddamn! It is not easy being a woman in the police force. Cuz you know, you get pawed off all the jobs no one else wants to do. 

My fingers tense on the steering wheel. Even that graduate, fresh out of police officer school, was on the drug bust. God, what even is his name again? John or Chad or something atypical of the new beloved newbie. I didn’t exactly get the same treatment in the office either. Fuck, was it two or three years ago? Cities of Angels they said. It’ll be swell, it’ll be progressive. So much for that. 

Because what have I been doing for the past two years of my miserable life? Wasting it away at a desk. Which is, of course, part of being a police officer but even then, it’s not everything. It’s a part of it. Where’s the action? Sure as well not being given to me. And yes, I’ve heard the speech a few million times in person and in my head when I’m hurling the shampoo at the wall, but every police officer is valued. In their own and special way, that same patronizing smile gleams at me in the rearview memory. A memory of every face that’s told me I’ve seen too many police movies. 

For fuck’s sake, I’m not a secretary. I went through the school same as everyone else and all I’m  asking for is to do…something. Anything for crying out loud. 

This is something. A nasty, petulant voice whispers unwelcomingly. It’s better than sitting at the desk. Another unwelcoming yet somewhat more cheerful, dreadfully cheerful voice chimes in. The collar of my shirt seems to be sticking to my shirt. Anger brews unhappily in my gut, spreading heat through my skin. 

Then my unfocused eyes catch something. A flash of color in a bleak misty world. I give the break a gentle tap and slow the pace of my car. Welcome to Gravity Falls! The faded welcome sign shimmers under the grey sky. It’s something. It’s something to do. A little hope lifts my heart despite the mood that’s settled within me. Maybe this is my first step to being taken seriously? Maybe this is a test? I blink. It’s a chance. A chance to prove myself to the Chief. Even if it isn’t a test, I’m alone. No, no, not alone. I’m the order within this town to sort whatever disorder there is. No Durland, no Blubs to tell me no. I have power over this town? Is that what this is? Or are they simply expecting nothing too serious to happen?

I should’ve done more research. But maybe I know enough? Minimal crime rate, a few things here and there. It’s just hillbillies and nature lovers and tourists. How bad can it be? And if something were to happen, which is unlikely, it’ll be easy. Easy to handle and easy to bring back to the Chief on the silver platter. Something to spin into something bigger than it is and maybe, just maybe prove myself. 

***

The office is almost too clean for a police station. However, it’s expected. Again, nothing happens in little old Gravity Falls. And of course, who would? The streets are clean, there seems to be an unusual amount of foot traffic (not the city type), and local businesses are bustling. It’s cute, adorable and endearing. As usual though, cute towns with little action usually get boring fast. 

The police station parking lot was a little cramped for my taste but bearable. At least, it doesn’t seem like I have to deal with other employees. Although…there was a lone car parked in the corner of the lot. And no, it didn’t look anything like the old cars buried in the junk or “abandoned” in other words. No, it was one of those badly made cars that sputtered every second, the seats were worn and it was way too claustrophobic. And is it creepy to check out someone’s car? No. Police officer status here. There’s no rules against peering into someone’s car. Except you may be called a creep. 

The only jail cell in the main office space looks rarely used. A few strange triangular symbols were scribbled on the brick wall. I leave it. I’m not a janitor, that’s for damn sure and it’s not technically my police station. I test out the chairs. Comfy enough. Extra spinny too which is a plus. 

The only plus is that unfortunately there’s only a single door in the whole small station which is locked. Not suspicious, but again my curiousness nags at me. I jingle the door a few times but the door doesn’t budge. I try to throw my body weight against it and again, nothing. I give up after a short while. I don't even have any idea how long I'll be here. I’ll figure it all out eventually. And my guess is it’s a file room or cleaning closet. However a young starry eyed child cried out it’s a supernatural mystery lying behind it: a vampire in his coffin or a cauldron simmering with a potion. I shake the thought from my hand and walk off.

I poke around which is only natural. Annoying for the people who own this place, yes. But are they here? No. And unfortunately for me, there’s nothing much to poke around in. It seems the majority of the budget for the police station was spent elsewhere. Which I learn makes sense. The desks are covered in what appears to be origami??? The shelves where there should be law related books are stacked to the brim with an obsessive amount of snow globes. The books which are supposed to be placed on the shelf are stacked in a dusty corner. A clutter of what appears to be a collage of couple selfies are covering the crime board at the center of the office. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland sharing sparse and sweet kisses. 

 My eye twitches. What do they even do? 

The file room? Even in worse shape. Only about three file drawers are used and all of them are cases of roadkill??? Hell, at the beginning it seems the officers entertained murder mysteries involving the dead animals. Many remained unsolved (foreseeable). One was solved but went nowhere, of course, since how does that even hold up in court? No murders. No thievery. No arson. No nothing!

Either they aren’t doing their jobs or this may just be the most boringest town in the world. Which, of course, I’m stuck with for an unplanned period of time. I almost dialed the Chief’s number to figure out how long I have to stay here. I probably zoned out during that part. About four digits in, I snap my phone close. It’ll probably go to voicemail anyways. 

I’m by no means an expert cleaner but I do try to make this office, somewhat, presentable. And by, presentable I mean, professional. Not some recreational passion project bullshit center. I find a ring of keys in the drawer of the desk in the office. A little pride flag is dangling from the master key for the police station. I smile down at it before attaching it to my belt alongside my tazer and firearm. 

For a moment, my fingers linger over my weapons. Do I even need these? Despite my better efforts, I just tuck my jacket around them. I pin the sparkling sheriff star to my button up and take a seat. I spin for a bit, glancing up at the clock and then I lean back. My back cracks satisfyingly and I let out a little sigh. It had been a long drive. Sixteen hours in total with stops in between to nap in the car. I’ve done it more times than I’d like to.

I begin to drift off with even realizing it. 

***

I wake up to the smell of coffee. It’s soft and tangible, and it smells heavenly. My eyes slowly wink open to the fluorescent lights staring down at me. Greg, makes a good coffee but damn, he must’ve stepped up his game. I let out a little yawn, stretching out my arms and straightening my back. 

I blink, once then twice. Oh, shit, yeah. This isn’t the LA police department.. I’m in Gravity Falls. A groan slips past my lips but curiously enough the coffee smell persists. Was that smell before? A stale coffee smell would make sense but a fresh coffee smell? The smell drags me towards the source. I wander blindly, like a bear to honey through the thin halls. 

And then a sound stops me dead in my tracks. Not a sound but a hum. “Keep smiling through…” I stand lingeringly outside the threshold, listening keenly. That smell. That hum. By the tone of the voice, it must be man. Deep yet slightly lilted. 

An unease sets within me. 

I’m supposed to be alone. 

Continue reading here!

[alastorssimpforever]

Tell Me I'm Crazy

Stan Pines x OC (really just reader)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Con x Cop, ridiculous weird gravity falls stuff, etc.

Anyways, Stan Pines drives Officer Shepard insane and she does the same.

What little I’ve heard of Gravity Falls is that it's a sleepy town buried in Oregon state. All in all, an uneventful place with minimal crime, which is unfortunately what my job relies upon. So…as I tapped the steering wheel, speeding down an open road in Oregon country, I wondered: what is the point? Well, I know the point that Chief Thompson had drilled into my head for two straight hours. By the time, I’m sure he had even gotten to the meat of the information I probably, actually needed, I was slumped and done. 

So, here I am with the beautiful yet same sights streaming by over and over again. Redwoods, the occasional animal scurrying along somewhere within the woods. The sights that I kept hearing Rachel blabbering about for some odd minutes have grown quickly dull. I should’ve expected it. Sleepy town, in the middle of nowhere, for a favor. A favor, yeah. 

The favor being as much as I love them, Blubs and Durland going on honeymoon. Cute and all, the wedding was tedious as all weddings are. But you know, they’re happy. During the reception, the newly married grooms were already jabbering on about the next step in life: kids. Yikes. My car almost swerved across the solid yellow lines. Can’t do that, right? I rolled my eyes. I’m sure someone going about 200 miles would go speeding down on the dead road as I was crossing the line. 

Police officer. Yup, that’s what I am. The big bad rule follower with a baton and a loaded gun. The said loaded gun had been thrown in the backseat amongst the bags.

I chew the inside of my cheek as the first sign of civilization peeks over the canopy of trees: a water tower. Some pathetic attempt at vandalism is sprayed on the tower and surely committed by some bored teenager in this boring town. I squint at the amatuer graffiti drawn in stark red. A mushroom? I shrugged it off and my tired eyes peel back to the road once again. 

Gravity Falls. Blubs and Durland. Chief Thompson. Babysitting, that’s what this is. It isn’t unexpected. I’m young, inexperienced, called wide eyed by the seasoned smirking older officers. 

And look I’m not trying to be, you know, whatever the word is…ah, attention seeking but goddamn! It is not easy being a woman in the police force. Cuz you know, you get pawed off all the jobs no one else wants to do. 

My fingers tense on the steering wheel. Even that graduate, fresh out of police officer school, was on the drug bust. God, what even is his name again? John or Chad or something atypical of the new beloved newbie. I didn’t exactly get the same treatment in the office either. Fuck, was it two or three years ago? Cities of Angels they said. It’ll be swell, it’ll be progressive. So much for that. 

Because what have I been doing for the past two years of my miserable life? Wasting it away at a desk. Which is, of course, part of being a police officer but even then, it’s not everything. It’s a part of it. Where’s the action? Sure as well not being given to me. And yes, I’ve heard the speech a few million times in person and in my head when I’m hurling the shampoo at the wall, but every police officer is valued. In their own and special way, that same patronizing smile gleams at me in the rearview memory. A memory of every face that’s told me I’ve seen too many police movies. 

For fuck’s sake, I’m not a secretary. I went through the school same as everyone else and all I’m  asking for is to do…something. Anything for crying out loud. 

This is something. A nasty, petulant voice whispers unwelcomingly. It’s better than sitting at the desk. Another unwelcoming yet somewhat more cheerful, dreadfully cheerful voice chimes in. The collar of my shirt seems to be sticking to my shirt. Anger brews unhappily in my gut, spreading heat through my skin. 

Then my unfocused eyes catch something. A flash of color in a bleak misty world. I give the break a gentle tap and slow the pace of my car. Welcome to Gravity Falls! The faded welcome sign shimmers under the grey sky. It’s something. It’s something to do. A little hope lifts my heart despite the mood that’s settled within me. Maybe this is my first step to being taken seriously? Maybe this is a test? I blink. It’s a chance. A chance to prove myself to the Chief. Even if it isn’t a test, I’m alone. No, no, not alone. I’m the order within this town to sort whatever disorder there is. No Durland, no Blubs to tell me no. I have power over this town? Is that what this is? Or are they simply expecting nothing too serious to happen?

I should’ve done more research. But maybe I know enough? Minimal crime rate, a few things here and there. It’s just hillbillies and nature lovers and tourists. How bad can it be? And if something were to happen, which is unlikely, it’ll be easy. Easy to handle and easy to bring back to the Chief on the silver platter. Something to spin into something bigger than it is and maybe, just maybe prove myself. 

***

The office is almost too clean for a police station. However, it’s expected. Again, nothing happens in little old Gravity Falls. And of course, who would? The streets are clean, there seems to be an unusual amount of foot traffic (not the city type), and local businesses are bustling. It’s cute, adorable and endearing. As usual though, cute towns with little action usually get boring fast. 

The police station parking lot was a little cramped for my taste but bearable. At least, it doesn’t seem like I have to deal with other employees. Although…there was a lone car parked in the corner of the lot. And no, it didn’t look anything like the old cars buried in the junk or “abandoned” in other words. No, it was one of those badly made cars that sputtered every second, the seats were worn and it was way too claustrophobic. And is it creepy to check out someone’s car? No. Police officer status here. There’s no rules against peering into someone’s car. Except you may be called a creep. 

The only jail cell in the main office space looks rarely used. A few strange triangular symbols were scribbled on the brick wall. I leave it. I’m not a janitor, that’s for damn sure and it’s not technically my police station. I test out the chairs. Comfy enough. Extra spinny too which is a plus. 

The only plus is that unfortunately there’s only a single door in the whole small station which is locked. Not suspicious, but again my curiousness nags at me. I jingle the door a few times but the door doesn’t budge. I try to throw my body weight against it and again, nothing. I give up after a short while. I don't even have any idea how long I'll be here. I’ll figure it all out eventually. And my guess is it’s a file room or cleaning closet. However a young starry eyed child cried out it’s a supernatural mystery lying behind it: a vampire in his coffin or a cauldron simmering with a potion. I shake the thought from my hand and walk off.

I poke around which is only natural. Annoying for the people who own this place, yes. But are they here? No. And unfortunately for me, there’s nothing much to poke around in. It seems the majority of the budget for the police station was spent elsewhere. Which I learn makes sense. The desks are covered in what appears to be origami??? The shelves where there should be law related books are stacked to the brim with an obsessive amount of snow globes. The books which are supposed to be placed on the shelf are stacked in a dusty corner. A clutter of what appears to be a collage of couple selfies are covering the crime board at the center of the office. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland sharing sparse and sweet kisses. 

 My eye twitches. What do they even do? 

The file room? Even in worse shape. Only about three file drawers are used and all of them are cases of roadkill??? Hell, at the beginning it seems the officers entertained murder mysteries involving the dead animals. Many remained unsolved (foreseeable). One was solved but went nowhere, of course, since how does that even hold up in court? No murders. No thievery. No arson. No nothing!

Either they aren’t doing their jobs or this may just be the most boringest town in the world. Which, of course, I’m stuck with for an unplanned period of time. I almost dialed the Chief’s number to figure out how long I have to stay here. I probably zoned out during that part. About four digits in, I snap my phone close. It’ll probably go to voicemail anyways. 

I’m by no means an expert cleaner but I do try to make this office, somewhat, presentable. And by, presentable I mean, professional. Not some recreational passion project bullshit center. I find a ring of keys in the drawer of the desk in the office. A little pride flag is dangling from the master key for the police station. I smile down at it before attaching it to my belt alongside my tazer and firearm. 

For a moment, my fingers linger over my weapons. Do I even need these? Despite my better efforts, I just tuck my jacket around them. I pin the sparkling sheriff star to my button up and take a seat. I spin for a bit, glancing up at the clock and then I lean back. My back cracks satisfyingly and I let out a little sigh. It had been a long drive. Sixteen hours in total with stops in between to nap in the car. I’ve done it more times than I’d like to.

I begin to drift off with even realizing it. 

***

I wake up to the smell of coffee. It’s soft and tangible, and it smells heavenly. My eyes slowly wink open to the fluorescent lights staring down at me. Greg, makes a good coffee but damn, he must’ve stepped up his game. I let out a little yawn, stretching out my arms and straightening my back. 

I blink, once then twice. Oh, shit, yeah. This isn’t the LA police department.. I’m in Gravity Falls. A groan slips past my lips but curiously enough the coffee smell persists. Was that smell before? A stale coffee smell would make sense but a fresh coffee smell? The smell drags me towards the source. I wander blindly, like a bear to honey through the thin halls. 

And then a sound stops me dead in my tracks. Not a sound but a hum. “Keep smiling through…” I stand lingeringly outside the threshold, listening keenly. That smell. That hum. By the tone of the voice, it must be man. Deep yet slightly lilted. 

An unease sets within me. 

I’m supposed to be alone. 

Continue reading here!

[lensman-arms-race]

There's an episode of Strictly Business podcast on this page, in which the host interviews Adam Goodman, one of the executives working on the Skibidi Toilet movie.

You can skip to about five minutes in; everything before that is just ads and blabber-jabber.

Some points that stood out to me:

The host mentioned the possibility that ST will lose some of its indie charm by being made into a movie. Goodman states that DFB has said he doesn't want ST to feel 'corporate', which is encouraging.

There are a lot of kids whose only exposure to ST is via Roblox, and they barely know the YouTube version. (It wouldn't surprise me if the forthcoming merch is toys in partnership with Roblox.) It would be interesting if the fanbase bifurcates in that way, with kids enjoying Roblox mode and us adults enjoying the sexy robots ongoing main storyline.

[beach-bear-enjoyer]

i love when my non-showbiz moots rb my silly rockafire posts. you don’t even go here/aff

[wet-paiint]

this is a bit of an “old man yells at cloud” moment but i feel like the internet has made vocabulary trends happen too… fast. right now it’s yapping. everyone is yapping! nobody was yapping 2 months ago.. it feels so artificial how quickly these words take over the internet. and it is artificial! some of you are NOT yapping. youre yammering, maybe. chattering or blabbering or jibber-jabbering. where are our free thinkers? the brave souls who will break the mold and ramble or blither, perhaps rant and rave? there are people out there who are destined for hooting and hollering & theyre being led astray by the newfangled yapping craze.

[basilpaste]

i love to write my homestuck ocs as moirails in a deeply romantic sense.

that shit is romance baybe!!!!!

[spineconsumer]

Being a yapper, a blabberer, a chatterbox, a natterer, a prattler, a talker, a jabberer

[f0xgl0v3]

*Guys this is a silly little post and don’t take anything I say very seriously, if I sound upset or angry in my tone I’m not I just sound like that when I talk about opinions on Octavian that I don’t agree with lol- didn’t need to make this post and it’s long for like no reason but whatever, I am a blabberer so I have to blabber when I get excited*

*also me from the future; i just like talking about my silly little opinions and this a great stepping stone for me to wave my hands and talk about Octavian and Luke- and give a little insight on why I like Octavian more than Luke, even if there isn’t much reasoning for why I like Octavian as much as I do*

I’ve come across this post and as my two top favorites are being pitted against each other I feel a personal responsibility to finally go on my Luke rant.

I like Luke- the weird pedophilic actions that were in TLO.. funky and gross and I don’t like it and I hope that it doesn’t happen in the show (if we get that far). But in writing (again except for the weird Annabeth stuff), characterization, being an actual threat. Luke does it better.

Do I like Luke more than Octavian? No. As soon as I saw Luke I knew he was going to be my favorite in the PJO first arc, he still is my second favorite. But Octavian took the throne. I still think about Octavian on the regular, Luke doesn’t cross my mind.

Octavian’s writing, DOG. I’ll be honest, I have said it before, I (and if I may be so bold to say; nearly everyone) hates his writing. Things that Luke do better Octavian’s writing fails at.

Of course pretty much everyone except the niche tumblr corner I’ve found almost unanimously agrees that they like Luke and hate Octavian.

Luke and Octavian are like trying to compare something like a orange slice and a Orange blossom bud (guys I just ate an orange they’re on my mind and the first fruit that I can use in this comparison)

Luke is the orange slice, he’s made it full circle in his great (not including later Annabeth plotlines-) characterization, he had his bud- he bloomed, and now we get to eat and enjoy it and savor it.

Octavian would be the orange bud, he had the potential for having the characterization and care (except for the Annabeth thing and I won’t shut up about it because it’s weird and makes me dislike things for messing with a character that had not had anything in that area of characterization at all until his last breaths-) that Luke had. Octavian could’ve been something, but the ball was dropped. That blossom bud had the full potential to be the orange slice but didn’t.

Okay sorry if the orange rant was weird, but long story short they are different things that are hard to compare (like trying to compare PJO Atlas and PJO Orion or something)

I like thinking of concepts for Luke, I like deciding to drop that little Annabeth line and making concepts for him.

The only reason I probably don’t talk about Luke is because Octavian, Bryce Lawerence, and Camp Jupiter had taken me by storm and enamored me. Luke may be objectively better than Octavian, but for the purposes I use either of the characters. I think Octavian has more potential to look into and has more depth because he was absolutely butchered. Luke is a good character to like and enjoy and then you can’t do much with him- he has solid characterization, he has a story that is harder to build on in my opinion.

And for my reasons for liking characters and how I pick characters I see as ‘better’ for me to put time into, that is why I like Octavian more than Luke. Do I think objectively Octavian is better, no of course not. Do I think that Luke can give me any of the satisfaction that I get from yapping about Octavian, also not-

This is so unserious but I just like jabbering on and blabbering. I love Octavian and Luke they are my 1st and 2nd favorite characters in the series (my 3rd is Bryce Lawerence if anyone would like to know) and I wanted to take an opportunity to talk about them and this argument that seems to have been happening for a while. I like Octavian more because apparently I forgot Camp Half-Blood was a thing and only talk about Camp Jupiter and it’s residents and those characters just make me so much more interested than a lot of Camp Half-Bloods. I think Luke is fun and serves a good purpose but that’s like- it. I just like Octavian more, big shocker I know lol.

That Camp Jupiter powers post is uh.. somewhere? I haven’t gotten around to it- If anyone wants insight to my creative process for things like the posts that I talk about my hc over things in Camp Jupiter it’s literally me through the day just saying things as they come to my mind and fit into my hc world

craziest thing a pjo fan has said holy moly

[thebluepeninsula]

I went blues dancing with my best friend last night (very good way to spend my Friday night) and I had so many wonderful revelations about dancing–about how it's made me a more confident person, about how I started from scratch and stuck with it for two full years and improved SO much, about how much learning to lead and follow has strengthened my empathy and respect for strangers, and about how, especially in blues, you can experiment with moving your body in a more sensual way in a space that's completely unsexualized, where there are no expectations of you. It's so cool to me. It's been a good two years of this.