#swerve x reader valveplug

[tom-foolery-incorporated]

Read your Swerve X human fic and oh my Primus… a true master piece. A small part had me think if Swerve would be able to handle cockwarming?

I’m glad you liked my fic anahdhsiajbdhf ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!

And I don’t think Swerve could handle cockwarming. He’d definitely suggest it thinking it’s romantic but the second you sink onto his spike he’s biting his servo trying not to pound you into his berth.

You’re just so soft and wet and cute and the way you just clenched around him-

Aaaaand he’s done.

Swerve would wrap his servos around your waist to steady you before fucking into you like a rabbit in heat.

“Sorry!” He cried. “You just feel so good!”

“Swerve!” You moaned in a mixture of disappointment and arousal.

Swerve only huffed angling his hips to better ruin your sloppy hole.

I also believe that Swerve has an insane libido and would pounce on his human any time of day. Definitely the type to towel whip you.

[robolvrr]

f-r-e-a-k !‿⁠✷｡✧

lost light members react to human porn (and develop some preferences of their own.)

ft. skids! megatron! rodimus! swerve! ultra magnus!

nsfw under the cut.

rodimus prime - top-five ranked

when he first heard actual, genuine human content had reached aboard his ship, he had quickly formed a half-assed meeting to announce that he, of course, being captain and all should review with ultra magnus.. and perhaps rewind too, before dispersing it out to the crew.

of course when ultra magnus expressed his surprise at this new leaf turned, eager to scour through intergalactic protocol he simply let one word out the other audial and made some grave, grammatical errors to distract the mech and let the captain do his own decision making.

he spends a lot of time nitpicking. he doesn't like movies as much so he reserves those to swerve nor does he care too much about books.

a functioning computer however....

he's bored. and curious. two demons that never dwell well together in the same room.

clearing browser history? never heard of that!

good thing the previous owner has lots of bookmarks, because he finds it infinitely easier to sift through links there than carefully type.

"porn...hub? what's that? must be some kinda uh.. uhhh... uh."

cue the fan whirring. he's hunched over and slack jawed, staring at the frankly color-clashing archive and almost pushing himself away when the cursor hovers over a video - and the humans in it start moving.

clicked the first video with a bold "#1 ranked". he really shouldn't. he really, really should just toss this tempting contraband out the nearest garbage disposal.

"unhh! harder! haaarder! ♡"

he's focused hard on the spike - cock, he learns, or dick, humans got lots of funny terms - ruts rough into you, forcing you to melt forward and squeak through sheets.

the loud, exaggerated moans make him pitifully decide otherwise. imagine him, all weak in the knees, sliding down to sit as he watches transfixed.

flesh on flesh hitting sounds a lot better when it's this and not fighting.

sooner or later, he's huffing into his servo, jacking off his spike and squeezing the tip so rough he's almost jealous seeing you bouncing away. you'd be so, so fragging soft. he can imagine squeezing your limbs and twisting you around to his liking.

overloads fast. he's almost ashamed enough to be embarrassed.

now? can't reach his climaxes unless there's some raunchy, wet-coated squeals in his memory banks. doesn't bother searching up anything because he doesn't have the patience to cultivate. you just happen to be at the top so he gladly sticks watching your holes get sticky any cycle.

skids - playboy bunny

"oh for prime's sake, chromedome don't make me feel like i'm trading for somethin' illegal."

won a "mystery stash" from a late night gamble. of course, not all of rodimus's finds stayed quiet.

he isn't sure why it's such a big deal. the cardboard box which spills open easily under a digit's care isn't filled with weaponry or bombs.

it's almost funny, this giant picking up a magazine in a pinch, helm tilted and keeping it an arm's distance away like the pages might bite.

he looks at the front cover for a long, long time.

his processor isn't catching up. then he squints. gets reaaaaal close.

there's you! all dolled up, as the humans would say. except you're really not, because half of your squishy aft is out, and your servos are covering up your chest but aren't doing a good job.

neither is the bright, blue bow christened at your pelvic area, where he realizes with a jolt is lacking any modesty panels of any kind.

flips a page. oh, it's you again. curved over a lounge. cheekily spreading yourself with a... gathering of lace twisted around your frame.

another one. you got something round in your mouth. he looks carefully at your lips.

and then he's flipping through all of it, and digging into the box and oh, he's found a jackpot because it's all you.

now he understands why it's got the markered "collectors items" on the side. he doesn't question too much when he spits lubricant down onto his spike. dedicated some of that cotton candy gossamer all over your february edition of playboy in approval.

megatron - classic erotica

a true mech of literature. now, unlike many of the lost light, he's had his run in with humanity before. not that he particularly got or wanted to enjoy their culture back then.

though when he did find his way back onto a possible path of redemption, he did indulge once upon a time.

at his spark, he's a poet. a linguist. enjoyer of golden age, art and craftsmanship.

earthen literature has its.. moments. he reads novellas and lost to the history manuscripts, plays, all of which have almost all been uploaded to more convenient means as upkeep for the paper is a pain.

however, he has found one book. a funny looking book, with a funny looking cover.

he observes, rigidly, the scandalous embrace of what he assumed to be the characters, how clothing lacked in areas it shouldn't and skin was almost.. glistening. "seven nights of passion." a chuff left his dermas.

ah, to pit with it. why not?

megatron finds himself slowly involved with the chapters despite the comedy of its advertisement. the writer, you, no doubt under a penname, push development shockingly far.. for a human.

and the intimacy? interfacing? so descriptive. while he has not seen what he is reviewing, he can imagine it. images of sweaty bodies, grinding and yearning and crying.

cybertronians have no reason or function to. the thought of a human, pushed to the brink overloaded with stimulation is... stimulating.

it is a shame when it comes to an end but he might in his free-time peruse for more. leaves his plating warm and intake dry.

the authors note suggests that your inspiration drives from personal experience.

his ... array fizzles at that. fascinating.

swerve - r-rated movie night

"wowza. that's hh. haha. woah! they all do that.. ?"

first movie he flipped onto the projector was supposed to be an "action and feel-good film with hints of romance, angst and sci-fi elements."

not even halfway through, you, the imaginary captain of the imaginary "roman's ravager" have your uniform shimmied down to your ankles, mouth mashing against your supposed rival, who everyone has been heckling for the past forty-five minutes.

some of the mechs cheer, other grumble and argue to skip, others squirm and grimace. swerve watched you push the other down, head tilting back as the camera zooms to your face.

"it's just acting, ya' degenerates, stop acting like protoforms!"

it isn't until he feels a servo smack upside his helm that he starts fumbling for the remote. too much noise but now he's getting a comm from mags asking about what the rackets for so! fast forward he goes.

at 1x.

while the chaos starts to settle, he peeks between digits. catches glimpses of your open mouth. the goosebumps down your chest. how you shake at the insinuation that someone is between your legs, servicing.

slag. when's the last time he's even played with his valve?

movie night was a hit regardless of the commotion. he has to clean up after, which thankfully didn't result in any expelled energon or skid-marks.

that also means he's alone. alone, in his bar. all by himself, staring at the rest of the discs with your pictures on the front, credits humming in the background.

it'll be good for the economy. (all of it is pirated.)

maybe it's for the best. because now, he's realizing you really are a great actor, in lots of different genres, able to adapt and really grab his attention.

it's not as if his spark pulses seeing you in costumes, or using that soft voice you do in all your roles when you make a point.

not like he's riding his digits and crunching into a fist when you're running on the beach, sand dappled and leaving little to imagination.

ends up on his back, charged up and shaking. hurts to speak, to move or to dab up the puddle of transfluid, laughing deliriously when his panels are even too much effort to close.

ultra magnus - audio praise

"you're doing such a good job. you're perfect. you know that, right? yes you do, so good for me."

when he first heard you, he damn near crushes the auditory device and full-blown shudders in the confines of his hab. he's sputtering, optics wide and there's a million reasons he should report this to rodimus and question just what he's given him.

"to help ya uh... research? take the edge off pal."

half-contemplates storming back to the bridge himself if it weren't for your sugar-coated mumbles still coming through the unpaused recording.

you'd think he was dealing with a ticking blast with how he warily handles the device, gruffly spitting out curses that he'd otherwise never allow in crew vicinity.

"i want you to reward yourself. you earned it, honey. can you do that for me? here, listen."

to his horror - and crumbling interest - a slick cacophony of sound rattles in his helm. there's panting, a shift of material that he assumes is tangled around you and frag, he's able to think up you and a thousand faces.

what's worse? is he's hypnotized. you don't demand. you coo to him, just loud enough to let him know you'd be broken too. if he let himself let down that wall, just for the twenty minutes you sing in his audials, he'll know it's done with you just as weak.

"g—gooood job ahhhh!" that does it. ultra magnus groans, shutting off his optics entirely. his large servo feels up along his frame as you suggest.

"i wish you were here. hah.. mmn! could see me. see me fucking myself to you. let you kiss me. you deserve it, sweetie. deserve me on you."

magnus and the sobbed growl to his motors reminds him just how lonely he's felt. always monitoring. always stressed. hearing the spit collect at your throat as your commands grow hoarse makes you feel real.

would you... would you kiss him? would you let him pick you up, rest you flat on his servo and have his glossa lap up your want?

he towers over nearly all. having a partner so much smaller, tinier than even an minibot, shouldn't run up a charge but it does.

he overloads when he's sticking digits near the casing of his spark, ignoring the spurts of pre sizzling down his thighs.

"w-was that as fun.. for you as it was for me?"

dazedly falls onto his berth. this isn't leaving his dermas unless he's had a drink.

a/n : a little haha funny idea i had. there's just something so funny thinking of these giant old robots realizing just how much porn is out there.

[tinydefector]

Human's effects

More a silly little thing that I had to write out.

Warnings: talks about sex, xenophilia, kinks

Word count: 3k

Masterlist

Next

Human Effects 2 - characters

Request are open

____

There were a lot of things that fascinated the cybertronians over humans. Their size, body types, skin tones and those soft they are. 

So many of them become so fascinated over the fact that such small and fragile creatures don't have plating to protect themselves but only wear soft fabrics. 

And it slowly leads a lot of Cybertronians to realising they were Xenophiles. 

A list of kinks and fetishes cybertronians discovered from it. 

-size kink 

-skin fetish 

- hair pulling 

- silk and ribbon play

- cum inflation 

-breeding

-pet play

- vore

-fluid play and consumption 

- spiking warming

- Heart and spark syncing 

- new spike and Valve modifications to test on their human lover

There's originally a lot of unknowns about humans, and cybertronians are rather intrigued, for one the first times the a lot of the crew of lost light had encountered them was on black market and high priced pets, and companions. 

There were exceptions such as Perceptor, Ratchet and Megatron who had been around humans before but for a lot of the bots this was their first time seeing them. that is until they are assigned a human communications, relations Ambassador/ liaison. 

But after the black market incident it had led a lot of bots into research over humans. And it just spirals more with them discovering some rather dark history with cybertronians keeping humans as playthings. And finding out their ‘interface equipment’ isn't that different from their own, just more organic and smaller.  

A late night of drinking at swerve slowly devolved into conversation over their local human. Brainstorm sits nursing his drink of engex while he and others of the ship chat away. "So does it fascinate anyone else over the fact that humans don't have natural plating or any kind of protection for their squishy form?" He brings up, he himself had fallen down the rabbit hole of human porn but didn't quite know how to breach the subject with anyone else. 

"Oh Primus, look who decided to join us, thought you were holding up with your Conjunx Chrome!" Swerve said with a chuckle, placing more drinks down. He hopped up onto one of the bar stools and leaned in eagerly, His attention flicks to Brainstorm. "You bring up a good point, Brainstorm," Swerve replied.

 "Those squishy humans are really something else, ain't they? No armour, no defences - I'd be scared outta my circuits if I was just soft protoform all the time!, like i’m so surprised squishy hasn't been stepped on yet" 

Rodimus nodded in agreement. "Yet they've managed to survive just fine so far. There's obviously more to them than meets the eye. Like i've seen some of the things our ambassador can do like the strange stretching"

"I dunno," Skids chimed in. "Seems pretty fraggin' reckless if you ask me. One good shot and it lights out!" 

Rewind shuddered. "Ugh, don't remind me. Just thinking about all those organics and tubes and who knows what else squishing around in there makes my fuel tank turn." He made a dramatic churning sound effect.

Riptide laughed. "I saw a nature documentary once about these hairless ape creatures the humans evolved from. Now THOSE guys were squishy."

“What in Primus have you been watching?!” 

“some old earth docs that Percy’s has, bots got a lot of info on Terra and the planet's history” The bots shared a collective laugh at the image. Swerve took a swig of his energon. "Frag, maybe there's something to be said about living on the edge like that! Sure keeps things interesting, its still strange that they are somehow one of the top predators of their planet yet are smaller than half the things they eat"

Brainstorm goes quiet for a moment. "Have you seen how flexible they are?"

Swerve nearly spit out his energon. "Whoa hey, I don't need those kinds of vivid imagery floatin' around my processor thank you very much!, keep the squishy interface vids to yourself" he said, waving his hands animatedly. 

"You have to admit, the way those fleshbags can contort themselves is pretty impressive," Skids added. "Must come in handy for.. maintenance." He waggled his optical ridges suggestively.

Brainstorm nodded pensively. "Indeed. Their non-metal structure allows for feats we could never replicate by ourselves." He took a sip of his energon. "Always makes me curious what other evolutionary adaptations they've developed to compensate for such vulnerability. The potential for scientific discovery is endlessly fascinating with their species and ancestors."

Riptide shrugged. "As long as they don't expect ME to try any of their bone-breaking yoga moves," he laughed. "This chassis is meant for tough stuff, not Twister!"

"You think they would be soft, you know if you interface with one?" Brainstorm asked while downing his drink, the engex was slowly going to his processor loosening his lips. 

"Oh don't give me that look I know for a fact you all have thought about doing with a human at least once! Rodimus I know for a fact you eye them up everytime our little liaison walks past you" He calls out Rodimus. 

Rodimus nearly choked on his energon in an attempt to look innocent. "Wh-what? That's not - I never -" he sputtered in protest, flustered optics darting around at the other bots.

Brainstorm smirked as Rodimus squirmed uncomfortably on the stool. "Oh please, don't try to deny it, Captain. You're about as subtle as a combiner in a supply closet." 

"Roddy's got the hots for squishy, who knew!" Swerve giggled uncontrollably. 

Skids nudged Riptide playfully. "Hey, maybe we got a xenophiliac on the ship!" 

"Alright alright, knock it off you glitches," Rodimus growled, though the blue flush across his face said otherwise. "I was just... curious, that's all. They ARE a strange species."

Swerve tried to contain his laughter. "Ohhh I bet you are more than curious, if you catch my drift!, wanna get up close and personal" More raucous peals of laughter from the group.

Brainstorm stroked his chin in thought. "They do feel intriguingly delicate. I wonder if their flexible frames would be more pleasurable to interface with than our own rigid forms..."

"Have you seen videos of them, they stretch a lot, like a lot, like I know human skin is resilient but i didn't think they were that resilient " Brainstorm states remembering some of the videos he had seen online. Other bots peak up intrigued. 

Swerve choked again as his fuel tank nearly turned inside out. "Brainstorm! That's... more than I needed to visualise, thank you very much." 

Skids seemed a bit less phased. "Fleshbags gettin' their twist on, huh? Can't say I'm not curious now." 

Even Rodimus seemed intrigued despite his earlier protests. "Resilient is an   understatement. I've seen some of the contortions that humans can do - it's astounding that their protoforms don't tear apart." 

Brainstorm nodded enthusiastically. "Precisely! With the right lubrication and technique, I hypothesise an interface with a limber human form would provide entirely novel sensory data."

Riptide shifted uncomfortably. "Not sure I'm ready to dive into the fleshy deep end just yet.”  

Swerve shot him a sly grin. "Aw c'mon Rip, live a little! Where's your sense of adventure?" 

Rodimus tried to steer the subject elsewhere. "Let's maybe change topics before someone needs a wipe down. Or Primus forbid, Magnus overhears you lot"

"I hope I did not hear what my processor just heard" Ultra Magnus states while staring down at the group of drinking mechs. A Lot of bots in the bar snicker at the group getting in trouble. 

"Come on Sir, get that wrench out of you aft, join us!" Skids called out.

Swerve let out an audible squeak at Ultra Magnus's stern tone, almost dropping his engex in panic. "U-Um, Magnus sir! Fancy seeing you here. We were just, uh, discussing..." 

He shot desperate optics at the others for help, but they all seemed to shrink down in their seats under Magnus's disapproving glare. 

Rodimus flashed an uneasy grin. "Just having a friendly debate about alien species, you know how it is. Brainstorm was bringing up some, er, interesting biological points..." 

Ultra Magnus sighed wearily. "I'd rather not know the details, thank you. Some topics are best left undiscussed in public."

The whole bar erupted into laughter at the group's misfortune. "Ah lay off em Magnus!" one patron called out. "They're just havin' fun!"

Another bot piped up. "Yeah, loosen up that rusty chassis and join us! One drink won't hurt." 

Magnus scowled, unamused. But as the encouragement grew louder, he glanced around hesitantly...

Swerve spotted an opening. "C'mon Magnus, live a little! I'll even give you a two-for-one special." He flashed a hopeful grin.

The enforcer grumbled but his resolve was cracking. Against his better judgement, he pulled up a stool. "One drink." Swerve whooped and poured him a double.

They cheer as Magnus sits down to drink with them. Skids speak up. "So brainstorm you saying you'd hook up with a fleshy, get nice and personal with a human" he calls out with a laugh.

Brainstorm leaned forward eagerly. "Why of course! The pursuit of scientific knowledge knows no boundaries. Though upon further review, direct interfacing with an organic might require certain, ah, safety protocols." 

Skids peered at him suspiciously. "Exactly what kind of 'research' are you plannin' on doing Brainy?"

Swerve nudged Riptide with a smirk. "I'll bet ya 20 shanix Brainstorm's just trying to find an excuse to get jiggy with the humies!"

Riptide snorted. "No way, I ain't takin' THAT bet!" 

Rodimus dropped his face in his palms with a groan. "can we PLEASE stop picturing Brainstorm fragging humans?" 

Ultra Magnus coughed on his engex, catching the comment he'd really rather not have heard. 

But Brainstorm paid them no mind, lost in scientific contemplation. "The human capacity for sensory input and feedback would provide a rich study on cross-species interface protocol adaptability..."

"INTERFACE PROTOCOLS?!" Swerve shrieked. The table erupted into howls of laughter at Magnus's deeply uncomfortable expression. It was going to be a LONG night indeed.

“Primus Brainstorm you kinky fragger” 

"Fine then everyone servo up if your not at least somewhat curious or thought about it at least once" Brainstorm calls out to all of Swerve's bars patrons

"Oooh, Brainstorm's putting us all on the spot!" Swerve giggled with gleeful mischief. He raised his servo without hesitation. 

Skids was quick to follow suit, slamming his half-empty glass down. "Frag it, I'll admit it! Those soft squishy bodies got me wonderin' what else they're good for." 

To everyone's surprise, Rodimus sheepishly lifted a servo as well, avoiding optic contact with Ultra Magnus. Riptide shrugged and joined in the show of servos, if only to blend in. 

The majority of bots in the bar started raising their hands amid roars of laughter and drunken encouragement. Only a select few hesitated, shooting nervous glances at Magnus. 

The enforcement officer's expression cycled through outrage, resignation and back to outrage as his gaze swept over the forest of raised servos. "I cannot condone such deviant interest in alien biologies," he protested, voice stiff. 

But as more servos stayed stubbornly aloft, Magnus sagged with a weary sigh. After a long moment, he slowly, begrudgingly raised one massive hand as well. 

The bar erupted into ear-splitting cheers. Swerve howled with glee, banging his fists on the counter. "Look's like we've all got a bit of xenophile in us after all! Even you, Magnus my mech!" 

Magnus buried his faceplate in his servos as Brainstorm cackled maniacally. Once the bar settles back down its Swerve who speaks up with a smirk on his faceplate. "So... which one of you charming mechs are gonna be the first to try and get our lovely Liaison?" He teases. 

Rodimus sputtered into his drink at Swerve's question, flushing brighter. "W-what? I never said anything about actually doing anything!, it's all just fantasies Swerve!" he protested in a hissed tone. 

Skids rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, well they do have a cute lil' figure. Bet they'd be a wild ride..." 

Swerve grinned slyly at Rodimus. "Aw c'mon Captain, don't tell me you ain't thought about it at least once! I bet they'd be real fun to break in, get all soft and pliable..." 

Rodimus smacked Swerve upside the helm. "Knock it off!" He shot a pleading glance at Ultra Magnus as if begging for rescue.

But unexpectedly, Brainstorm was the one who spoke up. "While the organic's flexibility is intriguing, directly interfacing could introduce unknown health risks or cultural taboos. Outside the fact our people have kept humans as pets and companions in the past. A more ethical approach would be gaining consent for strictly observational research."  

Riptide frowned. "Not sure the liaison would go for that either Storm" 

Swerve sighed dreamily. "Just imagine wrapping those soft squishy bits all around you though... bet they'd feel amazing..."  

"SWERVE." Magnus's warning tone silenced the cheeky bartender immediately. He turned back to Rodimus with a sigh. "Despite certain... Curiosities, directly engaging an organics  such a manner would be unwise, dangerous even, not to mention our form are much larger and could harm a human."

Rewind nodded gratefully at Magnus, relieved the subject was shifting. But the mischievous glint in Swerve's optic suggested his teasing wasn't over yet. It was going to be a long night indeed.

"Relax Mags I'm just riling these drunk mech up. Unless you're interested in our sweet little ambassador" he teases, making other bots choke on their drinks. 

Ultra Magnus's icy glare could have frozen Swerve's energon. "Need I remind you this conversation is highly inappropriate and unprofessional," he said sternly. 

But to everyone's surprise, Rodimus let out an undignified snort of laughter. "As if Magnus would ever break protocol like that! He'd probably recite the entire Autobot code of conduct while fragging."

The whole bar erupted in howls of mirth at the mental image. 

Swerve was nearly rolling on the floor. "Can you imagine?! 'Paragraph 3, subsection B clearly states interfacing with sentient aliens requires prior diplomatic clearance forms in triplicate!'" he cried in a mockingly stiff voice. 

Skids were wiping away fuel tears. "Primus if MR. RULES AND REGS ever broke the rules, it'd be one for the history archives!" 

Riptide jabbed Skids in the side. "Ten shanix says he'd have them memorising regulations the whole time!" 

"Twenty shanix says they'd run screaming first!" Swerve shot back. 

The bets and ribbing escalated as more mechs joined in. Across the table, Rodimus shoved Magnus playfully. "C'mon Magnus, live on the wild side for once!" 

Magnus's rumbling huff was the only response. Watching his rigid commander finally loosening up filled Swerve with delight. Somehow, some way, he'd find a way to get Magnus to break protocol yet! It was shaping up to be the best night ever.

"Ohhh let's make this fun. I list some bots and you say if you think they would hook up with a human" Riptide states. "Rung, Drift and Ratchet" he calls out the names.

Swerve let out a dramatic gasp. "Ooh spicy!"

"Rung is definitely curious but way too professional. Might let loose over a couple cubes of engex though!" 

Skids broke into hysterics at Riptide's suggestions. "Rung and a HUMAN?! Rung doesn't even touch his OWN interface panel!" 

Rodimus snorted. "Can you imagine? 'My dear, it seems you're experiencing some psychological interfacing blockers. Please, tell me how that makes you feel.'" 

"Drift guy's definitely intrigued by other species, if you know what I mean. Plus he's artsy so he'd probably appreciate the 'aesthetic'." Swerve responds

"Drift might go for it, he's open to new experiences," Rodimus mused with a grin. 

Brainstorm nodded thoughtfully. "Indeed, his spiritual philosophies suggest an openness to cultural exchange that others may lack. I think if he and ratchet weren't together its something he might try" 

"Ratchet. bah! As if that grumpy old rust-bucket would try anything so illogical. Unless she's a doctor too and starts quoting his favourite protocols... then all bets are off!" Skids laughed. 

"Ratchet? Nah, too much of a hard aft. He'd just bitch about human biohazards the whole time," Swerve giggled. 

"Well if Drift was interested I'm pretty sure that mecn could get ratchet to do anything with the bat of his optics" Rodimus remarks.

The table erupted in raucous laughter. Swerve took a playful bow. "Alright bring on the next victims!" 

Riptide rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, how about...Tailgate, Cyclonus, and Whirl?" 

Swerve cackled wickedly. "Tailgate would be way too nervous but he'd try for his Conjunx Cyclonus. Cyclonus would 100% use his broody vibes to charm her pants off but only for Tailgate. And Whirl? He doesn't interface, he destroys! So that liaison better watch her interfacing ports around that lunatic!" 

Chromedome interjects stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Tailgate would be way too nervous and shy, I think. He'd probably short-circuit just from holding hands!" 

Riptide nodded. "Cyclonus has always struck me as the kinky type. Wonder if he's into those squishy bits like Brainstorm thinks..."

"Whirl would frag anything that moves," Rodimus interjected with a grimace. "But I don't think an organic would survive the experience!"

Brainstorm stroked his chin. "Indeed, Whirl's interfacing protocol subroutines seem rather...enthusiastic. Consent might be a fleeting concept. Better to observe from a safe distance." 

Swerve shuddered. "Ugh, don't make me picture that psycho getting 'friendly' with a human! I'm tryna keep my fuel down y'know." 

The names continue being dropped. 

 " First Aid! I don't know if the medic-bot's got it in him to break the rules. But I betcha if he did, he'd be real gentle and caring-like. He'd have them feelin' better than new in no time!" 

Skids grinned devilishly. "Yeah but would they feel better? Aid's so straight and narrow I bet he'd put em in stasis lock from boredom!" 

"Now Perceptor on the other hand..." Swerve tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Bookish type, but you know there's a passionate scientist in there waiting to experiment. Think he'd go slow and methodical, really take his time 'exploring the specimen'." 

"his thirst for organic sciences might overpower his good sense," Rewind remarks. 

“optimus prime, Prowl and bumblebee ” Chromedome interjects with his own inquiries. 

Swerve pretended to wipe away exhaust fumes. "Primus help me, this is gonna be good... Optimus Prime is obviously Mister Morality himself, but you know he's got a secret wild side under all that virtue signalling. Just imagine how freaky he could get with some alien nookie!" 

The bar erupted in incredulous, drunken laughter and cheers. Swerve grinned impishly. 

"As for Prowl, I'm telling you that stick up his tailpipe is begging to come out and play. One roll in the berth with a naughty fleshy and he'd loosen up reeeal nice!" 

"And Bee? He's a sweet kid, but you know what they say, it's always the quiet ones! Between his cute lil' face and that tight chassis, he'd have the human lining up to frag that glitch right into stasis!" 

The bar absolutely lost it, bots falling over each other in drunken hysterics. Even Mirage was struggling not to fall off his chair. Swerve took an exaggerated bow as his audience howled. 

"Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all cycle! Now who's ready for the next round?" More shouts and clanking glasses answered his call. It was shaping up to be the wildest night at Swerve's yet!

 Magnus dropping Megatron's name that really sent them over the edge.

"Megatron?! With the liaison?!" Rodimus howled with laughter, nearly spitting out his drink. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all cycle!" 

But Swerve wasn't done. "Megatron? Now THAT'S an image! 'You pathetic fleshbag, you DARE try to mount the great Megatron?! Grovel before my interface array!'" 

Magnus adds more information which makes everyone surprised " He and the ambassador are rather close" He states

Rewind speaks up from Chromedome’s side. "Y'know... they do have a certain chemistry. I'll bet under all that scowling and chipped armour there's a softie just waitin' for the right tender touch to melt his spark. And they have got sass to spare  bet they could handle Megatron's brooding and snarl!" 

"Twenty shanix says he'd have them trembling and beggin' for mercy in no time flat!" Skids bet eagerly. 

"You're on!" crowed Riptide. "But I still think Perceptor's the real dark horse..."

[threestarproductions]

Yall seem to like the last swervy art hehe so eat up!

I already posted this on bluesky [plz follow me there] but I said it before and I'll say it again...there needs to be more bent over swerve art

[bugboioli23]

Hey guys! Been a while but I’m doing better now! I missed you all, so here’s our fav bartender sending you a selfie of him jorkin it

[pinkanonwrites]

Always Tip Your Bartender

MTMTE Swerve/Human Reader, 2000 words, GN Reader, Valveplug, Oral, Begging

I finally stopped procrastinating on this and I'm so glad I did cause I really enjoy it. Here's Swerve getting his spike sucked AND his valve ate as a treat.

Primus, you were going to kill him. Or break up with him, which would pretty much accomplish the same thing cause Swerve didn't really know how he would live without you. 

Either way, he was dead. And he had no one to blame but himself.

The evening had been going so well. You'd always insisted how much you enjoyed watching him work, and he was more than happy to have you sitting at the edge of the bar, dangling your feet off the side and chatting with whatever bot occupied the nearest barstool as he flitted around taking orders and refilling drinks. Whenever he'd brush past you'd hit him with that brilliant smile, the one that made him go all weak in the processor and wobbly in the knee joints, before playfully waving him off, insisting he gets back to work. 

Was it incredibly distracting? Yes. 

Had he broken several glasses while admiring you? Also yes. 

Would he ever want you to stop? Not in a billion cycles.

But tonight had been particularly busy, and maybe Swerve hadn't been able to give you quite as much attention between orders as he usually had. A concept that had completely slipped his mind until the moment Whirl raised a single claw and pointed you out across the bar.

"Don't look now, Chatterbot. But I think Fizzle over there's making a move on your fleshy!"

Spinning on his heel, there was a tight clench in Swerve's tanks when his optics landed on you. Fizzle stood, drink in servo and elbow strut propped on the bar, leaning more than a little bit too close into your personal space. Every time you seemed to shuffle back he moved closer, and though Swerve wasn't the best at reading lips he could tell by the furrow for your brow and crinkle of your nose that you were not enjoying the conversation at hand. He tossed the tray he was holding onto Whirl's table and ducked through the crowd, dodging flailing elbows of dancing patrons as he hurried back to your side.

As he neared, the drone of chatter and thumping music gave away enough that he could finally begin to pick up snippets of your conversation.

"I mean, everybody's curious!" Fizzle slurred, identifiably sloshed just by the way he spoke. "Just cause you don't hear bots talking about it doesn't mean we're not all thinking it."

"Look, dude, I'm not really comfortable with you asking about-"

"So how's it work, huh? Barely the size of a mini-con and you can still get spiked down by one of us? Swerve's kinda puny, yeah, but he's like twice your size! Got a real greedy little valve, don't y-HGGK!?!"

The next thing Swerve knew, Fizzle was laid out flat on his back at the edge of the dance floor. It took the sudden, hushed stares of the surrounding patrons and the sting of his knuckles before Swerve realized that the one who had punched the words out of Fizzle's slimy, inconsiderate intake was him. 

"Swerve!"

Oh Primus. You did not sound happy.

"I was- he'd just-" He stammered, making aborted hand gestures in between you and himself and the 'not unconscious but fairly woozy' Fizzle. "I don't, uh, he uh, really shouldn't be talking like that."

You hopped down from the bar and stalked over to him, gripping the edge of his forearm plating with an unexpected force and tugging him in the direction of the storeroom. He could have resisted you, if he wanted to. But he let himself be led away instead, pedes scuffing and dermas trembling as you tugged him along. The rolling din of the bar began to pick up again as you moved away, and Swerve could swear he heard Whirl yell something sarcastically supportive over the rumble of the crowd. A sound that was quickly cut off with the resounding metal slam of the storage room door.

“Um… H-Hi, sweetspark. Angel. Light of my life.”

“Get down here.” You snapped your fingers, pointing to the ground. Swerve slowly took a knee.

“Look, about Fizzle. I’m sorry, okay! I know I shouldn’t have hit him like that, I just couldn’t let- MMPFH?!~”

But before he could finish his desperate apology your lips were meeting his own, fingertips gripping and caressing the sides of his helm and brushing a ticklish trail along his armor. Your tongue lathed across the seam of his dermas and he couldn't help but open his intake to you, servo falling instinctively into the curve of your spine as you deepened the kiss. He let out a low, needy rumble of his engine when you began to pull away and you chuckled.

“Whu… Whuh?” He managed to force out, his processor still halfway caught between the realization that you weren't actually mad at him.

“I can't believe you actually punched him. In the face. That was the hottest thing I've ever seen.”

“So you're not- mmfh,~” His train of thought was only slightly interrupted by you pressing another wet kiss to his dermas. “Not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? He deserved it. Plus, I got to see my big, strong bot standing up for my honor.~”

“Ohhhh, thank Primus.” Swerve slumped his helm into the crook of your neck and let out a relieved groan, half from his own emotions and half from the pleasant tickle of your little fingers toying with the exposed cabling just beneath his helm. You had put a foot up on the bend of his thigh in order to reach him properly, and his servo gave your butt a soft squeeze when it came up to support you. “Thought you were gonna tear into me back here, to be honest.”

“Aww, did I worry you?” You pressed another fluttering kiss to the curve of his jaw. “And here I was thinking I should be giving you a reward instead.” He shivered as your lips traced just below his audial. A familiar clang and a muffled curse reverberated from Swerve, the unmistakable sounds of his spike pressurizing behind its panels. “That sounds like a yes?”

“Hoo yeah. Absolutely. Yes please. Whatever you want, sweetspark.”

“Wanna say yes a few more times?” You joked, sliding from his grasp and sinking slowly to your knees in front of Swerve’s modesty panel. As your fingers traced over his Autobrand the panels snapped back with a snikt and his chubby spike pressurized eagerly into your hands.

“Do you need me to?” He babbled through a wobbly grin. “Cause I will! I'll say whatever you want me to say if it'll keep your hands on me.” 

“...Y’know what? Yeah. I like that. Keep talking for me, baby.”

“Y-Yeah? I can talk all da-AaAaaAayy!?” His words choked off into a glitchy, garbled mess as you teased the underside of his head with the tips of your fingers. “Oh, oh! Mmmhmm, ahh! That’s se-sensitive…”

“I know, baby.” You cooed. Your fingers traced the biolights up the length of his spike before smearing the bead of transfluid at the tip wetly across the head. Swerve’s panels rattled as he shuddered, digits clawing absentmindedly at the door he was braced against to keep his hands from gripping his own spike. “That’s what makes it good though, isn’t it?”

“Mmh! So mean,” A low curl of steam hissed between his dentae.

“You love it.~”

“M-Maybe… Hngh!~” He gasped as you pinched the head between two fingers. “Ah! Ah! O-Okay, I do! I like it! Please, just- Ohhhh…~” He trailed off into another garbled mess as your lips wrapped around the tip, teasing the slit with your tongue. You took as much of his spike into your mouth as you could, stroking the rest in a tight fist as you swallowed around the solid, unrelenting obtrusion. The sharp metallic screech of his fingers gripping the door was only drowned out by his whines and gasps, staticky glitches increasing which each bob of your head. Drool and pre-fluid trickled from the corners of your mouth and down his length, further slicking your hand. When you pulled away with a wet, shaky breath, Swerve thought his spark was going to pop out of his chassis right then and there, valve cycling desperately around nothing as you pressed a slick kiss to the underside of his spike head with a barely audible moan.

“Swerve.” You murmured, your eyes hooded and glossy, your lips still grazing his spike.

“Yes?” He responded, twice as desperate and equally as enamored.

“Spread your legs for me. Push your hips out a little more.”

He let out a low, whimpering groan, widening his stance and pushing his hips out from against the wall. You ducked your head further, keeping a tight hand around his spike as you dragged your tongue up the length of his valve. 

“Ohh!~ Oh, oh that’s- ahhhh, ah, ah!~” Swerve did his best to fight the urge to wriggle, stabilizers shivering with need as you buried your mouth in his plush folds. Each time your nose bumped against his anterior node he let out a hiccuping gasp, transfluid dribbling  from both his tip and his valve as his calipers cycled around your intruding tongue. “It's so soooft, y-your mouth, I can’t- MMH!~ Oh, oh, please I- please make me…”

“You wanna cum?” You murmured, lips still pressed to his valve as you furiously stroked his spike, the rhythmic shlick shlick shlick almost drowned out by Swerve’s whirring fans and desperate whines.

“Yes, yes yes please! P-please, I want it, I want- AHHH!~” His vocalizer pitched up into a staticky howl as you took his node between your lips and sucked, hard. He glitched and wailed, helm thunking back against the door as his spike pulsed again and again in your grip, thick waves of transfluid shooting over your head and splattering against the store room floor. His valve clenched rhythmically, more translucent, pinkish fluid spilling down your chin and neck in kind. Only when he stopped shivering beneath you and fell limply back against the door did you draw away, fighting the prideful smile that tried to crawl across your face at Swerve’s ragged venting and still-flickering visor. You rested your cheek against his plated thigh, stroking the other with the hand no longer cradling his flagging spike. His helm lolled forward a bit, clarity beginning to blink back into his optics as he gazed down at you. Suddenly he let out a sharp gasp, one servo flying to cup the back of your head, digits splayed and feeling around frantically. Then he let out a soft, relieved sigh, the desperate groping of his servo slowing into something absent-minded and soothing.

“Whew. I didn't get any in your hair.” A quiet chuckle slipped through his dermas as he twiddled a bit of your hair between two digits. 

“Got it a few other places though. Not that I'm complaining.” You made a show of wiping your fingers across your chin before drawing them into your mouth and lapping them free of his fluids. He shivered, a delicate blue glow rising to his face plate, split wide in a crooked smile.

“C-careful now, or you might get me all charged up again. Then we’ll be here all night.”

“You’re saying that like you think it'd be a bad thing.” You teased.

“It wouldn't, if I didn't have to get back to work soon…” Swerve trailed off, that gentle glow beginning to rise into a furious blush. “How, uh… How much of that do you think they could hear?”

Beyond the door you could just barely make out a congratulatory cheer in a voice that sounded just a little bit too close to Whirl’s. His celebration seemed to be working up the crowd, and soon a resounding cacophony was echoing through the storeroom door. Swerve’s free servo flew up to cover his face plate, helm clanking back against the door as he let out a humiliated groan.

“Oh Primus. I'm never gonna live this down.”

[drabbletron]

headcanon: Swerve is the best at dirty talk because he never shuts up, Megatron is the best at dirty talk because he's so poetic, Skids is the best at dirt talk because he learns all the right things to say, Ratchet is the best at dirty talk because of experience, and Rodimus is the best at dirty talk because he's too proud to be less than the best at it.

[rowanmutt-afterdark]

Kinktober Day 3: Chasity

(MTMTE/IDW Swerve)

Word Count: 810

MTMTE/IDW Swerve X Human GN Reader

18+ tags: chasity, dom/sub, and slight humiliation play

Read below the cut!

Swerve sat stiff, his knee joints ached as he sat with his thighs spread wide, and his helm tilted back while you worked between his quivering leg struts. You were attaching something onto his body, specifically his spike. You had called it a chastity cage, and while he was still learning human ways, he had grown interested in it.

He remembered seeing something like what was being put on him from a human holo film, according to what you called it, it's called ‘porn’. He still had no clue what it was but he trusted you over other sources.

He jolts with a whimper as the cold chastity finally clips into place and he hears you chuckle between his thighs. He feels your finger slip between the bars of the cage and stroke a small stripe down his chubby, stubbed spike. He hissed with pleasure as you teased the sensitive organ.

“So, how does it feel?” Your inquiry helped him focus again so he could get a coherent sentence out.

“Feels good, a little weird but it doesn't hurt.” He answers. He hears You hum in acknowledgment to his response before resuming your work of teasing his body. You take a finger and gently trail down his body, smirking as you trace the armoured plating that made up his chassis and stout frame. You took the trail all the way down to just above his spike, it earned a small jump from his skin growing erection.

He whined as your hands moved back up to his chassis to trace the metal, following the flow of his plating and tracing cables making your minibot lover squirm and whimper as you watched each small movement to make sure he wasn't uncomfortable.

He shuddered, his engine hiccuping as it revved excitedly, your small fingers slipped between the plating just under his chassis and teased the sensitive wiring there. He shifted with a moan of ecstasy as your fingers expertly rolled and tweaked at the wires.

His intake gaped open as his plating flared, his leg struts tensing as his hips buck forward, desperate for friction against his growing erection. His visor flaring a bright cyan as his frame leaned forward to be closer to you. His lip components parting as he gasped out a plea. “Please,sweetspark! I need it so bad!”

You looked down at his weeping tip, his caged spike was throbbing within its confines. Transfluids dribbled down the chastity, it was splattering onto his plating, and on the floor. Your tongue clicked against your teeth, tsking at the mess your boyfriend was making in his hab-suite. Your hand reached up to grab his helm, your fingers grasped a hold of the back of his helm and pulled him down closer to your own height. Only a few feet height difference made him just a little bigger than yourself.

“Only good boys get to overload, you are to address me as what?” You growl, earning a high pitched whine before you received your answer.

“Please, mistress. I need to release, it hurts!” You hum as if thinking before you lift a foot and press it against his caged spike. He makes a sound similar to a squeal of pleasure but his engine roaring covers it as your boot clad foot pressed down against his chastity. Watching as he tensed, holding back the overload that so badly wanted to be let go.

“Again, tell your mistress what you want.” You demand, the foot on his spike pressed down with a littke more pressure earning a shutter and a whine. He sounded so pathetic, it was cute~

“Overload! Please mistress, I need to overload!” He sobbed. You smirk and watch as his spike weeped for that release he so craved.

“Good boy~” You purred, with that he released. His cry was so delicious that your own arousal started to become unbearable as his transfluids painted your boot, his thighs, and the floor. You smiled, watching him as he slowly came down from his high. His visor flicked on and off as his systems roared to life to cool his frame down.

“Now look at the mess you made, we can't have your mistress wearing your fluids like this, now can we?” You didn't need to say anymore as the mech leaned down and used his glossa to lap up the spilled fluids off your boot. Your pussy clenching at the display, your hand moving down to your pants as you gropped at your crotch to try and relieve the pressure building.

“Once you are finish cleaning, I have another task for you. How does dessert sound?” Swerve moaned against your solvent covered boot as he sat up again and nodded eagerly. You didnt hesitate in taking your pants off and seating yourself against his face.

This was going to be a long night~

[onlyyvette]

Oh my gosh, a thirst for MTMTE puppy boy Swerve?? If its okay?

Warnings: sub/bottom character + dom/top reader + cybertronian reader + blow-job + praise + petting + slight size kink + he's such a slut for praise

A/N: omfg I literally love Swerve so much I just want to shower the poor guy in affection

"...Just keep on going for me sweetspark. You got this," you assured the minibot as he went down on your spike. "Mmhhphh..." Swerve tried to respond only to immediately be embarrassed once he remembered that you wouldn't be able to understand anything that came out of his mouth.

You chuckled a bit. "Don't worry Swerve. Just keep going down, little by little." The reason you were having Swerve work down your spike so slowly was due to your size. You were a bit bigger that the average mech, which would naturally lead to your spike to being a bit bigger. Swerve was already a pretty small bot, so it wasn't easy to take your spike, despite his big mouth.

You had told him that it was alright, that he didn't need to suck your spike and that you were more than happy to eat his valve out. He kept insisting though, so you eventually let him give you a blow-job, but you made sure to be careful. Despite your protests to having Swerve suck your spike, you couldn't deny that the sight in front of you wasn't enticing.

Swerve was slowly bobbing his head down your length, his lips stretched around your spike with his oral lubricants. His optical ridges were scrunched up in concentration as he struggled a bit to take your spike down his intake. It was such an adorable sight, watching your lover struggle right after insisting that he could take you. And not to mention, his mouth did feel heavenly. Despite the fact it wasn't easy for him to take you into his intake, Swerve was very skilled with his glossa. He sucked on your spike hard, swirling his glossa around your length as he let out little choked moans.

"Hahhh...your doing so good for me sweetspark. So good," you sighed sensually as you place your servo on the top of his helm, rubbing reassuring circles. Swerve whimpered at your praise and petting, driving him to focus on taking you even deeper. Sooner than you expected, he takes you fully, to the hilt. "Nnghhh," Swerve let's out a low moan, wanting you to acknowledge his achievement. "You really did it," you said with genuine surprise in your voice. "I'm so proud of you sweetspark," you cooed as you continued to rub his helm.

Swerve gave a muffled whine as he grinded his open array into your pede, his spike already leaking and you could feel the wetness of his valve. "You're so needy aren't you," you muttered, patting Swerve's head. "If you can make me overload, I'll frag you as hard as you want," you promise him. Swerve nodded as eagerly as he could with his intake still impaled on your spike. He begins to bob up and down your length, able to take you in more easily now with his oral lubricants slicking up you spike. He lets out cute moans as he feels your spike hit the back of his intake and reach into he throat tubing. Still, he sucks your spike in earnest, leaving a sloppy mess on your spike that only increases your arousal. "There you go. Now there's a good bot."

[tom-foolery-incorporated]

HI!! i recently read your posts ab the free use human and promptly lost my mind they're so delicious 🙏

i was wondering if you would be able to do something smutty between swerve and a human reader?? i already KNOW he would fantasize ab getting crazy with a human but then when he finally gets offered the chance to do it? he's obviously not gonna miss the chance but he's really nawt gonna know what to do with himself 😭

I am a hopeless slut for Swerve. Sir please blabber to me about nothing while I gaze at you with heart eyes.

Swerve x reader, gender neutral AFAB reader, racially ambiguous, fluff to smut, mutual pining, oral, dirty talk, size kink, strength kink

Swerve couldn’t help when his gaze lingered on you sitting on the bar. Little human form so tiny compared to the mechs around you. Even compared to a minibot like Swerve you were puny.

He couldn’t help the thrum in his spark when you looked up at him like he was your world. He couldn’t help the flush of energon in his faceplate when you reached up and held his servo. Your hand wrapped around three of his fingers as he walked you back to your habsuite every night after you help him with his bar.

So small, so soft, so cute.

You were just sitting there kicking your legs and jabbering with some of the lingering bots while Swerve cleaned up.

“This is the longest I’ve heard you quiet,” Nautica mused placing her empty cup on top the bar.

Swerve jolted swinging his helm to the femme meche before him. “Y-yeah?” He stuttered out hoping she hadn’t caught on to his ogling. “It’s been a long cycle.”

Nautica smirked with a knowing look on her face. “Yeah? Bet it’s gonna be a long night too.”

Swerve immediately caught on to what she was insinuating. He nearly dropped the glass he was cleaning and ended up fumbling it in the air for a good second before catching it.

“Are you okay, Swerve?” You ask noticing his strange behavior.

“Yeah! I’m fine!” Swerve reassured you nervously.

You smiled at Swerve before returning your attention to the bot in front of you. Nautica chuckled behind her servo trying to hide her knowing smile. “The human is totally into you,” she teased quietly.

Swerve scowled at Nautica. “Don’t joke about that.” He turned his gaze to you longingly as you waved goodbye to the final bots leaving the bar. “I think you got a chance,” Nautica said to Swerve. “They may or may not have said something to me.” With that Nautica left Swerve to his gaping jaw on the floor. You gave her a wave goodbye before turning to Swerve.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You ask with a giggle.

Swerve coughs trying to gather himself his vents running flusteredly. “Yeah! Yeah I’m totally cool,” he said more so trying to reassure himself. Under your gaze he felt like his plating was on fire. Your concerned little stare and how you sat so demurely on his bar. “Want to be a gentleman and walk me home again?” You asked with a flirtatious inclination.

Or at least Swerve thought as much. Maybe Nautica was just getting in his head. There would be no way he could have a chance with you. Someone like Rodimus or Mirage is more your type. Someone heroic and strong and definitely cooler than him.

“Why I’d be honored,” Swerve said in a mock posh accent and with an animated bow.

Your laughter was like twinkling bells in his audials. You reached your arms out for Swerve and he nearly passed out. Your arms outreached looking for him. He moved in, pedes heavy against the bar floor, as he wrapped his arms around your waist in a hug.

You made a soft sound of surprise but hugged Swerve back giving him a couple pats on his helm. “As much as I like the hug, can you help me off the bar?”

Swerve felt like he took a kick directly to his spark. Of course you weren’t looking to hug him. Hell, he did this routine with you everyday! Nautica’s words wormed around his processor laying parasitic eggs in his thoughts.

Swerve lifted you up off the bar counter trying to savor the feeling of your soft body against him. Your feet met the ground as Swerve gently set you down.

Your hands slid down his arm plating during your descent as Swerve’s servos landed on the back of your biceps. “Thank you, Swervy,” you smiled unintentionally letting the nickname slip from between your lips. You two stayed like that for a little bit; Swerve marveling at how you felt in his embrace and you burning up from embarrassment.

“Wait-“ Swerve laughed standing up straight. “Swervy?”

You sputtered trying to find an explanation for the nickname. Swerve reached out pinching your cheeks. “You’re so cute! Please don’t stop being so cute!” You made an annoyed noise at having your cheeks pinched but made no move to stop Swerve.

“Hey,” Swerve’s suddenly serious tone caught you off guard. “Do you want to come over to my habsuite and watch-“

“Yes!”

You both blinked at each other surprised by your eager acceptance of Swerve’s invitation. The minibot called back to what Nautica said feeling his knee joints wobble a bit.

“Y-yeah?” Swerve gulped with excitement. His Servos cupped your face stroking your cheek with his thumb.

“Are you asking me out?” You asked holding onto Swerve’s wrists.

This was supposed to go differently in Swerve’s processor. He was supposed to be smooth and suave, leaning over the bar nonchalantly cleaning a glass. He’d say something flirtatious making you swoon. He’d butter you up then drop the question. He could have rescued you from a mean bot teasing you for your height and organic limitations. He’d stand up for you and tell that bot off and he’d be a hero in your eyes. He could have ran into you in the halls making you drop your books and he’d help you pick them up. Your little hand would make contact with his servo and you two would slowly look up at each other. He’d offer to carry your books and walk you to wherever you were going.

“Swerve?”

The minibot so stuck in his daydreams of what should have been didn’t even realize that he’d been staring at you and mindlessly stroking your face.

“Yeah?” He said barely above a whisper.

“Yes to you asking me out or yes to me saying your name?”

“Yes to both!” Swerve exclaimed sweeping you up into another hug. You squeaked surprised at being suddenly lifted into the air and engulfed in mechanized arms. He pressed his faceplate into the side of your head taking in the feeling of your body against him as well as your scent. “Primus I can’t believe it.” You giggled patting his shoulder plate.

Swerve adjusted your position so you were sitting in the crook of his arm with one servo holding onto your calf and the other supporting your waist. You held onto his shoulder plates and smiled down at the minibot.

“I can’t believe you’d actually agree to going out with me after that whole disaster of an invitation! I mean I had this whole scenario planned out where I’d wine and dine you.” Swerve chuckled stroking your waist with his thumb.

“It’s okay, Swerve,” you giggle cupping his face. “The whole bar could have caught fire too and I’d still say yes.”

Swerve’s engine rumbled so enamored with how you stroked the metal of his fave as well as how you spoke to him. Nautica ended up being right. Every time she’d come in here and tease him for his little crush, telling him he should ask the little human out, she was right. Swerve’s spark thrummed through his chasis as you left a small kiss on his forehead just above his visor.

“I’ve really liked you for a while,” you admit shyly. “I just didn’t know if I’d be ruining our friendship if I said something.”

“I don’t think you could do anything that would make me not want to be around you,” Swerve reassured you. “You could straight up kill me and rip my spark out and I’d haunt you trying to hang out with you!”

You snorted giving Swerve another kiss to his forehead. Swerve let out a little huff and furrowed his optic ridge. “I don’t get a kiss on the cheek too?” He said tapping his cheek with his finger. You laughed leaning down to give him a kiss on his cheek but at the last minute he turned his helm causing your lips to collide with his instead of his face.

What was supposed to be a little gag on his end ended up turning into you gripping his face and pushing your mouth against his intake. His optics widened glowing brightly behind his visor but he did nothing to move away. Instead he gripped your hip with his servo and returned your passions.

His intake moved fluidly against your lips like two pieces of a puzzle finally coming together. Swerve couldn’t help the groans of delight he released into your mouth. You tasted so sweet on his glossa like honied energon. When you finally pulled back for air he couldn’t help but try to chase after you before taking in your face.

Sweaty, panting, and you felt so much warmer. Your eyes were half lidded and your pupils blown wide.

“I wanna frag you so bad,” Swerve said in an airy voice. Your eyes widened in shock at how forward he was being. “Wait! I didn’t mean to-“ you cut him off with another kiss this time more passionately. Your tongue slithered across his dermas. The whimper he let out made you clench your thighs. He opened his intake allowing his glossa to move against yours.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” Swerve mumbled against your lips. You devilishly nipped at his bottom lip. “God Swerve,” you groaned between kisses. His name coming from your mouth danced around his processor like a melody. “Please fuck me.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin at how loud Swerve’s engine revved. You barely had enough time to laugh before he was tossing you over his shoulder plate and rushing out of the bar. “Oh man,” Swerve huffed as you bounced with his stride. “Holy shit I can’t believe this is happening!” A couple mechs you two passed by looked at you concerned before donning a knowing look when he realized what Swerve had planned for the Lost Light’s little human.

You covered your face slightly embarrassed that so many mechs now knew that not only were you a robotfucker but you were also on your way to pound town with Swerve as your conductor.

Swerve’s habsuite door opened with a swish. Being mindful of your head and the doorframe, Swerve rushed into his room and flopped you on his metal berth. Your head made sharp contact with it creating a loud bonking sound that made Swerve freeze and you laugh.

You held the back of your head where it started to sting laughing with no noise at the ridiculousness of the situation. Swerve bit his knuckles as he reached his other servo out for you. “Are you okay? Shit, I didn’t kill you did I? I can’t kill you on our first date!”

You shook your head propping yourself up on your elbows. “I’m fine!” You laughed feeling the stinging start to fade. “I’m fine, I promise.” Swerve seemed to relax a little as he reached out to hold your head. He made you bend your neck forward as he towered over you making sure the back of your head was truly okay. Swerve let out a sigh of relief while stroking your hair. “I totally forgot you’re not as durable as us,” Swerve murmured softly. “I thought I would be all romantic and throw you on the bed.”

You hummed wrapping an arm around Swerve’s neck to the best of your ability. “I thought it was pretty romantic,” you said with a smile. “I mean it’s not everyday such a stud of a mech gives me a concussion.”

Swerve huffed picking you up from under your armpits and adjusting his position so he was sitting with his legs crisscrossed and you in his lap. He rested his servos on your waist with a dissatisfied look on his faceplate. “Now don’t go spreading rumors that I knocked you out or gave you brain damage on our first date!”

You wriggled in his grip so you were straddling his lap. “Aww,” you teased while holding Swerve’s face. “That’s the only reason I’m here. I thought you were going to fuck my brains out.”

The steam that released from Swerve’s vents made your shirt ruffle. His face was flushed blue with energon and his grip on your waist tightened. “I can’t believe you’re here,” Swerve murmured leaning down towards your face. You met him half way tipping your head up so you could capture his dermas with your lips.

Swerve groaned into your mouth as his servos explored your back and hips. “You’re so soft,” Swerve mumbled into your mouth. “I can just squish you under my servos.” Swerve punctuated what he had said with a couple squeezes to your hips. You smiled into the kiss adoring how even when he was making out with you he still continued to talk.

You pulled back to get some air admiring Swerve’s dumbfounded expression. “Frag,” he said in an airy voice. “I-I don’t know what I’m doing. I mean I’ve never done this before! I mean I’ve fucked other bots before but I’ve never interfaced with a human! I know we have the same set up because I’ve seen human porn but I don’t-“

“You’ve watched human porn?” You asked pushing your chest against Swerve. He dropped his jaw not realizing what he had said. “What are you into,” you asked giddily rubbing your hands across his chasis.

“C’mon,” Swerve groaned tilting his helm back. “Just pretend you didn’t hear me say that.”

“Do you jack off to it?” You pushed further letting your hands wander to his shoulders. Swerve hissed steam at your teasing. His servos reached down to cup your rear as you explored his torso. “Cause sometimes I like to think of you when I do,” you whispered into his audial. Your whole body felt hot at that confession both aroused and embarrassed.

There was a click then a hiss like pressure being released before a heavy metal chord sprung between your legs.

“Shit!” Swerve said embarrassed. “Sorry I didn’t mean to do that!” He could already hear you laughing at him for how disgustingly turned on he was.

“Is that your dick?” You asked with wide eyes.

“It’s called a spike but yeah,” Swerve said wincing at your gawking.

“You’re huge,” you gaped trying to hold yourself back from touching his spike.

Swerve’s robotic cock twitched at your compliment. He could feel his cooling fans kicking on trying to keep him from overheating. Despite every hiccup today, despite how unsuave Swerve was, you showed him nothing but love.

“Can I touch it?” You ask feeling your underwear dampen at the sight.

“Yeah! Yes! Yes please!” Swerve begged squeezing your ass. You reached down giving his spike a firm stroke. His engine sputtered at the feeling of your soft hand against his arousal. “Primus,” Swerve gawked watching how you tenderly rubbed him. “Primus I can’t believe you’re here.”

You ran your thumb over his leaking tip gathering the pink transfluid and using it as lubricant to help your hand travel over the cabling of his cock. Swerve exvented hot air out of his frame. He couldn’t hold back the whimper that bubbled out of his intake at the pleasure you brought him.

“Noooo,” Swerve whined when you took your hand away from his spike. His protests were soon quieted when he saw you moving to take off your shirt and unbutton your pants. His optics darted to your chest with intrigue.

“Those-“ Swerve started sliding his servos up your body until he was holding your chest with his fingers splayed over your sides and part of your back. “Frag, these are your nipples.”

You giggled at Swerve’s dumbfounded yet aroused reaction to your chest. He ran his thumb over your nipples making you moan softly. “And humans just spray milk from these?” Swerve seemed almost giddy at the idea. “Sometimes,” you responded your eyes trained on where Swerve rubbed at your chest.

“Why do you guys do that? Is it like a defense thing or?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bloomed out of you. “No! Well maybe for some people but it’s mainly to feed babies,” you explained gently rubbing your pelvis against his spike. Swerve swore under his breath at your movements. He pinched at your nipples making you whine and arch your back towards him. You could feel the hot drift of hair from his vents.

“I want to put a baby into you,” Swerve groaned pulling at your sensitive nipples.

You whined pushing your chest into his grip. “Yeah?” You panted while grabbing his spike once again. “Yeah,” Swerve said tilting his helm down to bite at your neck. “I wanna see how much milk I can get from you.”

Swerve thrusted into your hand in time with your strokes. His intake brushed against your soft skin leaving kisses across the sensitive expanse of your neck. “I bet you’d be so tight,” Swerve whined doing his best not to be too rough with his biting. “Could I even fit in you? You’re just so much smaller! I mean, frag, I can pick you up with one servo.”

You moaned tilting your head to the other side so Swerve had better access to your neck. “I can stretch,” you said breathlessly. You could feel the desperation building inside of you. Swerve hummed with your nipples in his intake. You whined feeling so empty without Swerve’s spike filling you.

“Swerve!” You cried as you humped his lap. “Please! I want you to fuck me so bad!”

Steam blasted out of Swerve’s vents at your sudden desperation. “How?” He asked releasing your nipple with a pop. “How should I uhm do you?” He couldn’t help but feel awkward in the situation. While he was one to constantly speak for some reason dirty talk felt so different now.

You leaned back trying to wiggle out of your pants. The position made it awkward and Swerve had to help you by supporting your back with his servo and guiding the fabric down your legs. When your underwear and pants were finally slid off your body, Swerve could only gawk at your pulsing heat.

You were already so slick with need and he could feel the heat radiating off of your pussy. His Servos dug into your skin possessively and hard enough to make you squeak out in pain.

“Ah! Sorry! Sorry!” Swerve apologized lightening his grip on you.

“It’s okay,” you panted with your eyes half lidded. “I hope it bruises.”

Swerve sputtered in outrage. “You want me to bruise you?! Now why in the whole of Cybertron would you-“ then it hit him. You want him to mark you. You want him to leave evidence of his touch on your body for wandering optics.

“Frag,” Swerve said breathlessly. “Yeah? You want it to bruise?”

You nodded leaning forward to grab Swerve’s lips with yours. He moaned into the kiss letting his grip tighten on your hips once more. He rolled his pelvis up towards yours trying to find stimulation for his spike. You responded by eagerly pushing your sopping cunt against the throbbing metal cord.

Swerve swore his entire system crashed and rebooted when he felt the slick glide of your arousal along his spike. Your soft panting into his intake was like a drug fueling the violent lust for you that had been brewing inside of him for what felt like forever. He pulled back trying to stifle the rumble his engine made when he saw how you chased after him.

“How am I going to put this inside of you?” Swerve laughed giving you a rough thrust of his hips against your core.

You hadn’t considered that and thought for a second. “Let me take the lead for a bit,” you said steadying yourself with a hand on his shoulder.

“Please do,” Swerve smiled, his hands never leaving your hips.

You lifted yourself up off his lap using your knees so you could position his spike towards your hole. “Primus,” Swerve panted seeing the strings of arousal you left on his spike. “I got you that wet? Me? Frag, you think I’ll just slide in there?”

“I hope,” you panted grabbing a hold of Swerve’s spike in on hand and steadying yourself with the other. You aimed the pointed tip of his chubby cock towards your leaking hole. Swerve’s systems were buzzing in impatience at the thought of finally being inside of you.

You dipped your pelvis down trying to capture his cock but only ended up causing it to slip and push against your clit. You both gave an unexpected moan at the same time before you tried again.

With a firm grasp on his cock you tilted your vagina towards the tip and finally pushed down.

The immediate sting of being stretched by something so wide made you wince.

Swerve had to steady every impulse in his body to not thrust up into you. You were so tight and so warm. He could feel your pulse along the head of his spike and he forced your pussy open.

“B-big!” You panted trying to gather your thoughts.

“Yeah?” Swerve wiggled his optic ridge at you.

You huffed out a laugh trying not to let your shaky thighs give up on you and force your body onto his spike.

“Look at you,” Swerve gleamed feeling his spark swell with love. Your shaky body covered in sweat and so sensitive under his touch. He hadn’t even started properly fucking you and you looked absolutely ruined.

“Let me know when you’re-“ Swerve was interrupted mid sentence when he felt your sweaty knee slip against his plating making you lose balance. He was quick to grab your hips and keep you from being impaled but not before you took more of his girth.

You cried out throwing your head back. “Fuck!” Your voice was like a choir to him. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

Swerve gave a slow, experimental thrust up into your heat. “Is that good?” He asked with a slightly concerned look on his faceplate.

“It’s so good!” You moaned letting your hand drop from his shoulder and work at your clit. Your body weight was now completely supported in Swerve’s grip as he held you by your hips and waist.

Swerve wanted to drop you on his spike so bad just to see that shocked expression on your face when you’re filled to the brim with him. “Want me to fuck you now?” Swerve asked feeling more empowered by your reaction.

You nodded eagerly while trying to lean forward to take his mouth with yours.

“Ah, ah, ah!” Swerve tsked with a teasing smile. “You gotta use your words! I know humans are smarter than that.”

You pouted but gave in to his request. “Please! Please Swerve I want you to fuck me!”

“As you say,” Swerve gave in to the devil on his shoulder whispering into his intake to drop your weight on his spike.

The choked noise you made and how you tightened around him was somehow better than the shocked expression you made.

You were sat on his pelvis, pussy filly engulfing his spike with room for little else. Your sweet arousal leaked around him making his plating sticky with slick.

“You’re in my guts,” you choked out as tears came to your eyes.

Swerve leaned down to kiss the salty tears before they could run down your cheeks. “Feel good?” He asked starting to feel unsure if his impulsive action might have hurt you.

You nodded eagerly almost knocking your head against Swerve’s helm. He could only laugh in adoration at your desperation. “You’re tight,” Swerve said breathlessly. “I don’t think I’ve been with anyone this tight.”

“I’ve never been with someone this big,” you panted as you slowly began rolling your hips.

For some reason that sentence managed to make a nest within his processor. Unless you’ve been in the berth with other mechs you wouldn’t have been with someone as big as him. The idea that he was the first mech you’d ever fucked made his spark glow with need.

Swerve changed the position so your upper back was against his berth while he held your lower body in his servos. He curled his frame over yours to capture your pleasing lips into another kiss. He was going to show you how much better he was than any human you had ever been with. He was going to prove just how worthy he was in being your first mech.

You held onto his helm as you moved your lips against his then whined into his intake when he started his frantic thrusting.

He plowed into you like he’d lose you if he stopped. You could feel the backs of your thighs and your rear start to sting from making sharp fast contact with his metal plating.

The more you thought about it the more it scared you how strong Swerve was compared to you. Despite his rabbit like pace, Swerve was still holding back so he wouldn’t hurt you. He was managing to keep his pistons in place well enough to not break your pelvis.

You could feel his fat cable pushing your walls open and the thickest parts rubbing against your G-spot.

You finally had to pull away from Swerve’s intake to catch your breath earning a frustrated whine from the mech. He pushed forward trying to capture your lips once again but when you tilted your head up and away he settled on drowning your neck in love bites and kisses.

“Please,” Swerve begged between slathering your neck in love. “Please it’s so good!”

What he was begging for you weren’t sure but you tilted your hips up more in response.

The wet clapping that filled the room would be lodged in Swerve’s processor until his spark went cold. The feeling of your velvety walls pulsing around him was something he couldn’t believe he had lived all these years without. Swerve was sure that if he wasn’t inside of you fucking your body with all he had he would surely die.

“It’s too much!” You cried out tears prickling from the corners of your eyes. “It’s too big!”

Swerve tucked his helmet against the space between your neck and shoulder trying to memorize your scent. “I got you,” Swerve moaned. “You can take it.” He struggled through the last sentence as your walls clamped down on him like a beat trap. He could feel your body shiver and squirm in his iron grip as your orgasm overcame you. Your mouth was open in an O shape as your eyes were squeezed shut.

Swerve wrapped his metal arms around your body holding you flush to his frame as you rode out your orgasm. He swore he hadn’t seen a sight more beautiful than your body shivering in bliss in his grasp. He had never heard a sound more beautiful than how you shakily moaned out his name as he punched the air out of your lungs with each thrust.

You whined in his arms as his thick spike dragging along your walls soon became overwhelming. You were spread so wide and so sensitive you were sure your body was unraveling.

You could feel coolant tears dripping onto your body as Swerve sobbed in pleasure. “I love you!” He cried holding you like you were his last tether to this mortal realm. “Frag I love you so much!”

He could feel his valve clenching and his spike becoming more sensitive. The way you squeezed around him was becoming too much and before he could warn you as to what was happening, a thick stream of transfluid shot out of him filling your cunt to the point of leaking.

You shuddered at the warmth his overload brought inside of you. His fluid was almost unbearably hot as it sat in your womb. You could only concentrate on the feeling of being so unbelievably full with both his spike and his cum stuffed inside of you.

You shuddered and twitched in his hold all the while Swerve just clung to you like a teddy bear.

“Are you okay?” Swerve asked, his cooling fans whirring at their highest setting.

“S’good,” you managed to dribble out feeling like your body was no longer yours but instead a bowl of gelatin.

“Primus you feel so good,” Swerve groaned while stroking your hair. “Don’t make me pull out please. You’re so warm and soft and tight.” Swerve’s words slurred together as he gently started moving his hips once again.

You shivered and cried out pulling your legs close to your body as the overstimulation started to set in. “Too much!” You wailed shakily.

Swerve immediately stopped his humping but you couldn’t miss the last thrust he got in. “Sorry,” he mumbled against your neck. “Can we stay like this for a while?”

“Yes,” you sighed while running your hands up his helm. “Please don’t pull out.”

Swerve lifted his helm to plant a wet and loud kiss on your cheek. “I didn’t plan to.”

[robolvrr]

galaxy girl ༉‧₊˚.

long way from home? you must be awfully lonely.

[ donations : open! ]

swerve/rewind/whirl x gn! fem camgirl warnings: nsfw!

it's an accident.

ultra magnus had pretty much declared no "contraband" allowed aboard, unless it was bought ethically and consumed ethically. whatever that meant.

"it's in the guidelines", he'd said. "and we can't just abandon the rules. it's what prevents this place from caving into vicious decline."

in short? "don't have fun guys. i'm a giant pole in the mud."

so it wasn't all that surprising when that got thrown out the window. it was usually little things. some other-planetary historical junk. doo-dads and whatchamacallits. brainstorm had a terrible habit of smuggling shit that no doubt would actually blow up the place.

when swerve started suggesting smuggling entertainment, in efforts to of course make the bar a little more interesting, not many disagreed. granted he has to keep it a total secret (though we all know the ships gossip can only keep his mouth shut a cycle a time.)

from the sound of it? he's found something good.

"now listen. i paid an arm and a servo for this, so i better not hear any complaints. don't ask me how i got to work - because i don't know!"

a groan cuts through his speech. whirl chitters in his seat, banging the table.

"get on with it! i don't have all night to hear you toot your own pipes."

swerve doesn't even crinkle his smile.

"oh cmon, don't be like that pal. you guys don't even know what i have!" he turns around, bent behind the bar top as he rummages through belongings.

he's gotten a mildly entertained "first viewership party" consisting of whirl, rewind, aaaaaand...

well. the others weren't too interested in one on one time, all making up great excuses to just "wait until it's ready."

a thin, screened device is plopped onto bar top.

rewind stares.

"... a geriatric electronic. swerve wow you've.. you've really outdone yourself there."

his frown turns to a pout and he moves it away before whirl has a chance to crush it.

"hey. don't say that. it's not the device, it's what's on the device. i'm talking connections outside the species. full, galactic communication. for free!"

rewind looks a little dubious. "i don't know. you've been scammed before. what if it doesn't work-"

"rewind, buddy, i love you, really, i do. but that last time doesn't count because i was totally given some very misleading information---"

whirls servos jolt forward with frustrated ease. he almost yanks the poor thing wide open.

"will ya both stop yapping my processor off! just show the damn thing! i am missing out on prime wrecker -"

the screen finally lights up. the trio quiet down, and it's funny, because they have to crowd around the smaller screen and there's some shoving and grumbling before they can actually see. it opens up to a "browser" - that's what the broker called it.

a used "laptop" but working functionally and much less sophisticated than any of the other tech they frequently used. wasn't a surprise they were so advanced compared to their spacial neighbors.

the browser had a chat pinned at the right. some of the language was understandable but most was not. either way it was moving too fast and that wasn't what was catching attention either.

it was you.

you look to be in a room. berthroom?

"bedroom", swerve corrected rewind quietly. what? he's seen enough movies.

it's pale and pink and soft. lacking alloy, or hard surfaces. it's so painfully.. soft looking. and you are too. your hair is pinned up and there's something small and cylinder strapped to the inside of your thigh. the wire is taped. your face is partially hidden under a thin mask, though your nose and lips are visible. lace and sheer mesh plaster your frame.

"... is that a fragging fleshie."

swerve bites his servo. oh primus, what did he buy?!?

"uh. it appears it is."

whirl squints. his golden optic trains on the movement you provide. how your fingers trail up your waist. when you tap back to your viewers on the keyboard, giving cheeky laughs and little looks down your cleavage.

"... she's tiny. could probably squeeze her and she'd yelp like a turbo fox."

rewind shifts uncomfortable. leave it to whirl to make things weird.

"that's what you're focusing on? not the fact that swerve just smuggled on. organic porn onto the ship?!"

swerve shushes them both, loud. he feels admittedly a little hot under his visor. you're not looking at them, it's not how the camera works - you are broadcasting yourself. but it certainly feels like you've got that coquette, impish gaze all for him, sighing soft and starting to move your hips. he's not a prude.

he's seen plenty of those human movies and some of them had the species interfacing thrown in. it's all acting, though.

this feels raw. feels like he's being a little pervert voyeur.

suddenly, he has the urge to go back to his habsuite and loosen his modesty panels some. they feel tight.

"you like that, sunshines?"

amidst the baffled bickering, your voice coyly whispers and tugs their attention, forces their heads to turn. you got closer to your camera, turning around until your knees rest on the pillow.

neither of them can even describe what they're looking at. you don't have a spike, and your valve looks nothing like any cybertronian. but it's wet and pink and messy. there's something pink plugging up the other hole too. it's got that same, soft fluff as your nightgown at the end. whirl's knee hits the table hard.

"you guys have all been so good for me. i think it's high time you get your rewards. i love when i can make you all happy. mmn.."

several dings blast the speakers. the device on your thigh buzzes. you sing the prettiest note of pleasure any of them have ever had the millions of years to experience.

your face goes into the pillow. every donation is met with whimpers and thank yous and whiny support.

"primus. oh my.. geez. frag. she's so... it's so flexible. you're recording this right? rewind, tell me you are."

"i am, swerve, shush!"

you look so cute. they can't explain why.

maybe it's because you know most of the viewers aren't your kind, but your smaller frame is still just as enticing. your skin glistens as you kick your legs, overwhelmed. stockings peel down and it's about the sexiest thing since wireplay.

"yoooo, swerve!"

the three mechs almost yell in unison. the laptop is shut hard. swerve is the first to turn around. his smile looks dopey and he sucks at lying.

"heyyyyyyy. heyyyyyy. do what do i owe the pleasure, captain? didn't ya hear? opening hours changed for today!"

rodimus quirked a brow-ridge. weird. "uh-huh. did you? sorry, didn't know." didn't remember. he probably wasn't listening. "hoo, anyways. i need you to look into hosting an event. you see, there's been some in-fighting with the crew."

"how awful!" swerves dentae grits. his smile is bordering painful. rodimus pats his shoulder and the last thing he wants is to be touched by anyone when his spike is threatening to chub.

"yeah, i know. lack of camaraderie just won't do. makes a spark hurt, you know? so, i had a brilliant idea. you are gonna host a party. a big one! one that not even ultra magnus can question, because he'll be invited. unfortunately."

"super!" by the stars above, strike him down now!

"see, i knew you were the minibot for the job. i dunno why they always complain about you."

"shucks, thanks -- wait what?"

rodimus continues. whirl has long stalked off but from the sound of crunching metal on his exit, he's just as pissed that he's gotten a bit of a spike kill. or maybe he's just mad a flesh bag has gotten him riled up. probably both.

but one thing is painfully clear. this?

best purchase of his life.

[tinydefector]

I do not know if you have ever thought about it, but listen! Last night I came up with a funny idea where Nadia and her friend decided to have fun and did a survey among bots. who do they think they would fuck that night and obviously almost all the bots have chosen our favorite ambassador. I would be interested to see the ambassador's reaction to this prank from Nadia😁良い一日を。💕

Pay back-Human affects

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: pin-up photoshoot, mentioned nudity, thirsting, unhinged behaviour.

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Is it nearly 1am, yes, but I wanted to finish this piece because it was written with the last part, but I wanted it to split it for these requests.

Ask and request are open

________

The Ambassador sat with the three surfing what was essentially the cybertronian version of Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit all in one, laughing and reading the post.

"Ooo, this one's juicy!" Nadia crowed, shoving her datapad in the Ambassador's face, making them read through yet another raunchy post.

DockDawg66: "Primus, you guys, have you SEEN our Ambass? The way their hips sway when they walk...I just wanna toss 'em in my cab and take 'em for a spin, if you catch my drift! That soft little organic is begging for a spike the size of their torso. Bet I could make 'em sing."

The whole crew roared with laughter as the Ambassador snatched the pad, face heated in embarrassment, they were aware that some of the bots on ship had a thing for them but this, this was not what they had expected they literally had a full forum dedicated to them.

"Have you no shame, you pervs?" They huff out while pressing a hand to their forehead. Millian scanned down their notes with a smirk. " it seems you've got a bit of a fanclub, chief. Check out 'Ambass_Admirer' tag

'I just wanna rub my plating all over that smooth flesh...make 'em squeal.' They go on like that for paragraphs, it's a riot."

The Ambassador rolled their eyes good-naturedly as their motley human crew dissolved once more into giggles at the bots' oh-so-secret desires. Their jaw nearly drops as the crew scrolls through even more posts. "Fucking hell! How many of these are there!?!?"

"Seriously, it's like every other bot's got the hots for you!" Millian snorted, scrolling furiously. Nadia nudged them with a wicked smirk. "We should totally roast these pervs. Post looking for 'hot single bots' - bet their inboxes would explode!"

Millian cackled, adding fuel. "Ooh, or you could play hard to get! anyone feel like earning a private photoshoot?' Their circuits would short for sure!"

Ambassador's could feel the colour nearly draining from them with the continued bullying and jokes from the three. As for feeding such flames... Well, a little harmless teasing did feel justified, if they wanted to be fiends what was stopping the Liaison from being one back.

"Alright you hooligans, enough scheming for one night." They chuckled. That's when Taylor speaks up. " you know we could do a bit of a spicy photoshoot, kinda like only Fans make some money of horny bots," she hums while leaning over the Ambassador's shoulder. "Taylor!" The Ambassador sputtered with embarrassment and shock.

"Now there's an idea..." Millian mused, eyeing their boss. Money could go far in this ragtag outpost, and fleecing horny mechs of their shanix just felt poetic.

"Alright you lunatics, I will play along. But first-" They turned to Taylor with a stern look. "Ground rules. Nothing goes public without my say-so, got it? I don't need an invasion of metal pervs in my room!"

They three nearly squeal in delight over the go ahead. "So how far are we going to go with this boss, just some light stuff like you laying on a bed or what?" Millian asked. The three are already scheming ways to do decent photos.

"Oh, oh I have a camera somewhere"

"So... I may have been able to talk One First aid into giving me Ratchet's old servos from before we ended up on ship. Don't ask how" one of the others stated.

The Ambassador rubbed their temples, already regretting this scheme but far too amused to back out now.

"Alright, you loons - nothing explicit, got it? I'm not getting Naked for anyone, Classy pin-up style shots fine, some saucy photos sure but that only." They start laying out ground rules for the three,despite being their boss, they were also friends and they did want to enjoy some letting loose. "And I suppose props could...add a dash of naughty flair, but if we are doing this you guys act professional, don't make weird comments."

As the crew dove into planning, they shook their heads fondly. "We'll start simple - you lounging in 'sexy' clothes, maybe leaning on those servos. Gauge how you feel, then amp it up gradually if you feel comfortable."

"And I get 30% of all earnings!" The Liaison called after them as they scramble to grab what they can for the shoot.

Both Millian and Taylor carted in the servos on a trolley, the ambassador was almost impressed but decided to keep their questions to themself, not really wanting to know how they got ahold of severed cybertronian hands. The three are trying to figure out where to start and what the ambassador should wear.

"I swear if Kyle, David or Daniel find out about this I'm putting all three of you on cleaning duty for forever." The Ambassador threatens them, hands on hips, eyeing the bustling preparations with mingled amusement and trepidation. What had they unleashed upon this ship?

"Boss, take a look, scored this silky robe that's sure to drive 'em wild!" Nadia called, holding up the item in question with a smirk.

Millian hauled over a plush bed adorned with soft blankets and pillows from over in the corner Of their room. "Lay back here while Taylor and I do a test shoot, just want to try and set up lightly."

They move to lay on the bed, trying to get comfortable and move things until they feel right. Millian snaps a few pics before the Liaison stands back up looking at the box of clothing.

Nadia and Taylor begin moving the Servos trying to get them set up as close to the bed as possible. “I'm so glad these are holo on the inside, they are Heavy enough” Taylor huffs out and the move and curl the digits.

The Ambassador looks at the different clothing and fabrics with a raised eyebrow. "Do I want to know where you guys got all of this?" They ask. The three just give mischievous looks.

They let out a sigh. "We will start off with something like this, then you lot can play dress ups with me, Christ never knew you three were this much of a nightmare"

"Alright you troublemakers, out with you while I change," they chide their over-eager crew, shooing them from the room with a laugh. Once alone, they unfurl the silky robe reverently, resting it on the bed before peeling off their uniform. Neatly piling it together. They rummage through the other clothing grabbing out a rather nice looking set of underwear before dragging luxurious sheen robe over their shoulders.

They move over to Millian's set before calling out to them. "I'm changed, you can come back in" they call out. Millian's head popped in, eyes widening at the vision before them. "Boss, you clean up nice!" They let out a low whistle.

The liaison's eyes trace over the large Servos on the ground with a pile of pillows and blankets set between them. "So how are we doing this?" They ask. Nadia and Taylor piled in behind, stopping in their tracks at the enticing sight. The Ambassador lounged lazily amid plush bedding, silhouetted seductively against the soft lights. Those mighty metal servos loomed ominously close.

Taylor shook off her daze first. "Lay back and get comfy. We'll start with some innocent stuff - just look smouldering while you toy with the fabric." With that the three moved around getting lights set so they had the height for the photos. “I'm starting to get suspicious on why you guys have all of this equipment in here Millian.” They call out only for them to wave the accusation off. “Eh I do photos for Nadia on occasions”

"Alright, lay back against those pillows- yeah, just like that. Now arch your back a little and tilt your chin up," Nadia instructed eagerly, moving a few pillows into a good position, Ambassador's gaze up with eyes half lidded. “I feel so stupid doing this!” They call out which makes the others laugh. “Ahh don't worry, last time Nadia did a shoot she nearly lost the bikini top she was wearing because it got caught. Spend ten minutes trying to not have to cut it off” Taylor informed.

“Yea I didn't want to wreck one of my favourites!”

Millian gave a low whistle. "You're doing great, I promise the more you laugh the less awkward it is. Now trail one hand slowly down your chest while the other grips the robe's lapel." Taylor surveyed their work, making subtle adjustments here and there.

"You two- move that big metal hand like it's gently cupping their waist." The crew buzzed around their model putting touches in place. Each minute adjustment drew out as they chatted away about random stuff while doing the photos, it helped them not feel so awkward about doing the photos.

"Alright, I think we've got our money shot," Millian declared at last, snapping one final smouldering image. The shutter clicked rapidly as they tested angles, coaxing out new provocative poses little by little. They stand back up, wrapping the robe around themself as they walk over to Millian. " Can I see the photos? They were rather excited, this wasn't something they normally did, but the three were actually rather professional with it.

The group looked at the photos as Millian slowly flicked through the collection showing off the collection along with some of the more silly ones they took to help ease the tension. The silky robe clung to curves in all the right places, every inch of exposed flesh looked as if it glowed. Bedroom eyes beckoned from heavy lids, lips parted as if panting from passion's heights recently scaled. One hand grasped the large metal hand.

"Holy shit, you really got me good!" They breathed, awed by photos that the three had helped craft. Nadia gave a devilish grin. "Just wait till the boys get an eyeful. They won't know whether to rub one out or combust on the spot!"

Laughter spilled forth from them as Millian begins transferring them over to their data pad. “this was fun, I can see why you enjoy doing it Nadia, I haven't felt this..”

“Beautiful?”

“handsome?”

"Desirable?”

The three state one after another which gets a head shake from the Liaison. “Yes, “ They admit.

"Also how exactly are we going to be posting these photos?" Inquiry, the were feeling rather daring now and wanted to have input on the posting.

They ushered the others close, datapad in hand. "Here's what we'll do- I've got an anonymous account on one of those seedy Commlink forums the bots love. You know, the one where they all drool over flesh?"

Nadia snorted. "Oh yeah, the 'Human Fucker' board. Classy place."

Millian ignored her, pulling up the photos. "I'll post just one crop out whatever you want for your comfort - the money shot where your hand is gripping that servo. Caption will be 'Look who I've got...' nothing else."

“don't crop it post the full thing, I like it and well they want to play with fire this is what happens” the Ambassador hums which makes Taylor cackled, rubbing her hands together. "Mark my words, those mechs will be tripping over themselves trying to claim the 'lucky bot' title," Millian promised gleefully.

Commlink forum: human fucker.

Ambass_Admirer pin.

Tin_Bin25: 'Look who I've got.'

a photo of a bots servos cupped partly around a human in a Satin robe looking rather Ravished, smiling up while their robe is hanging off their shoulder showing off a rather scandalous amount of skin.

Overcharger69: Holy frag is that the Ambass? Lucky slagger, frag what a fine piece!!!

T-Wrexz: No way!. Someone Fragging did it. They got with a Fleshie!

Rev-Rid3: some lucky mech sampled fleshy friction and got the dream...

Flyboi69: : FRAG THIS WHO CARES WHO FRAGGED THEM I JUST WANNA KNOW IF THEY'RE AS SOFT AS THEY LOOK!!!!

ScienceSorcerer: My oh my, what scandalous treasures, do share more with the class! For historical and scientific purposes, of course.

Oiler69: No way, you can't just Post that! Do you have more, Post em up already, need more Proof!

_Heavyhaul: Hey, hey, keep it in your panel's mechs. That photo wasn't released with their consent, it's not cool.

Tin_Bin25: Here is another.

It's a new photo showing the Ambassador lying back against pillows in a low cut silk robe, one hand trailing lazily across their collar while the other grips a metal servo their face pressed against one of the digits as they kiss it, gazing at the camera with hooded eyes

How's that for proof, sceptic? I've got permission for their personal photoshoot, even let me post without hiding their face. Bet your spikes would glitch seeing them like this in person.

Scope_ridge: *venting noises* Frag me sideways, they look good enough to eat! This is officially the best solar cycle ever.

Bar-rizzla: Why, they positively glow with sensuality! One can only imagine the debauchery that inspired such provocative portraits.

StarFielder: Seriously, does anyone have any idea who the lucky mech was? Gotta be someone important...

WPHAS-violation: my Shanix is on it being an officer right? Bet it was Magnus!, rather tasteful compared to the stuff I make.

Con_Spiracy: got me wonderin' - think any other bots have been sampling alien delights?

SunRunner: Whoa, hold up- you've got a whole collection? Heater's firing up over here! *fans self jokingly*

Pimptheride: Hey mech, wanna pass those images over? How much you asking for?

Bar-rizzla: I've got enough engex to trade for a peek! C'mon Tin, help a bot out with his late night activities...

_________

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[threestarproductions]

No tags, i dont get tumbler, im already struggling to understand bluesky, So ama just *smacks picture and runs, b-127 style*

[bugboioli23]

Accurate minibot/human size difference

Rare fully colored drawing but I like how it turned out!

[pinkanonwrites]

You said that swerve wouldn’t discover any new kinks but the ones he already has would be exacerbated, sooo which ones did he already have?

PRAISE. 👏 KINK. 👏 SWERVE. 👏

I've said it once and I'll gladly say it a thousand times more, Swerve has one of the BIGGEST praise kinks aboard the Lost Light. His self-image is in the absolute pits, so he really needs someone telling him how well-behaved he's being, how good he's making them feel, how perfect he is at listening to them and following orders. He's a total sub and he loves following directions because he loves being praised for doing a good job.

Swerve also has a crazy oral fixation, especially when it comes to a human partner. He could eat you out for hours if you'd let him, processor fuzzy and drunk on your taste with his helm buried between your legs.

Thirdly I think Swerve would really like to watch porn with you, human or Cybertronian. Though he'll get distracted pretty easily, the image of you touching yourself in his lap far more appealing than whoever's up on screen.

[drabbletron]

This Swerve piece is almost 4-5 pages in my word doc oml!

a snippet for you all

He never thought someone would look at him that way. He almost covers himself from you.

Your eyes hungrily take in everything he is. You try your damnedest to burn this into the back of your eyelids. He’s so disheveled and messy looking, hair wild, eyes wide behind the visor as he looks you over. You reach a hand up over his forearm, then both hands are tracing over his shoulders and down his chest. Your delicate fingers catch the bottom of his tank top and pull it off over his head, throwing it with abandon across the room.

Swerve bare chested now save for the gold chain necklace is at a loss for words. He can’t stop staring at you. He never thought he’d be in a situation like this, but he’d always hoped. Now that it’s here before him all of his imaginings leave him and he’s not certain where to go now.

You spot the deer-in-the-headlights look and grabs his hands and brings you to your chest. You guide him in squeezing and fondling your figure before he gets the idea to explore himself. He reaches to your shoulders and pulls down the straps one at a time, letting each breast fall free. You reach back to unlatch the hooks to help.

The two of you have your hands on each other once more. Your hands trailing lower. Swerve finds the hem of your long skirt and hikes it, following along your thigh to your core. There he pauses. Wasn’t there usually something else underneath on human women? He feels around a little more and only finds bare skin.

“If you’re looking for my underwear, I’m not wearing any.”

At that he blushes, “sweet primus…”

Then his thick fingers press a little further and suddenly they slip deep into you. The feeling slick and hot and he gasps.