#ive tried to understand it multiple times but i just dont get it

[fleursfairies]

im still confused about the "jivorce" because whenever i ask what happened people are like "jensen didn't tell jared about the winchesters and jared had a melt down" and then they show me three screenshots of jared being rightfully confused and hurt on twitter

[nomairuins]

the difficulty of trying 2 explain to ppl that im Not being self deprecating or belittling my mental illnesses when i say something that could be perceived as overly critical towards myself but that thise things actually r true abt me. ppl did die.

[tradingjackbs]

It is annoying being told I need to get over the domestic violence committed against me and forgive the person who did it

Like I get she's my sister but I already did that once and all that happened was she fuckin tried it again later like ?????? I'm learning my lesson instead of risking it for the 3rd fuckin time. Goddamn I give her enough chances and eventually she is going to fucking kill me, and then what???

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

A TRAGEDY THAT'S BUILT ON DESTINY!

I WOULD CHANGE MOST EVERY SINGLE THING. I WOULD LET YOU KISS ME, KILL ME!

synopsis// multiple different universes, but one thing remains the same: geto loves you in each and every one of them.

pairing// suguru geto x gn!reader

word count// 5.8k

contents// different universes, angst, satisfying angst?, hurt/no comfort but also hurt/comfort at the same time, ooc geto?, character death tehe

notes// inspired by everything everywhere all at once and the song kiss me kill me by mest :3 i wrote this SOOOO long ago but u have no idea how much i adore this oneshot. like i think it might be my fav oneshot ive ever written. it is everything to me!! and i did not do the idea justice but u get the point!!

December 24th 

You assume the fight is over because neither you nor Shoko have gotten any more wounded victims. The two of you glance at each other briefly but don’t bother saying anything. What could be said about a full-blown borderline war schemed by your high school best friend and lover? Nothing could possibly be said, so nothing is. The two of you stand there waiting for anything to happen, whether that’s getting called back to Jujutsu High or being brought another victim, and eventually something does happen, and Shoko gets a call. You can’t read her expression for the whole 20 seconds she’s on the phone before she passes it to you. You furrow your eyebrows in question.

“It’s Gojo,” she says blankly before attempting to hand you the phone again.

You hesitate to answer. “Hello?”

“You should get down here,” he says blankly over the phone.

“What? Why? Is everything okay?”

“Um, yeah, just—you know those back alleys by the school?”

“Uh huh?”

“Meet me there.”

“Gojo, you’re kinda scaring me-“

“Y/N, just come; you’ll thank me—I hope.”

You frown and begrudgingly agree, “Okay, fine, yeah, whatever, I'm on my way.”

“Make it quick, alright? I'm serious,” he adds quickly before hanging up.

As you give Shoko her phone back, you roll your eyes at the fact that he didn't even give you a chance to say okay before hanging up.

“What was that about?” she wonders, slipping her phone back into her pocket.

You sigh. “No idea, but he wants me to go meet up with him for some reason.”

Shoko hums curiously. “You should get going then; must be urgent.”

You nod, “Yeah.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

It doesn't take you long to get to the school given how fast you were walking since Gojo told you to hurry it up, the tense anticipation aiding in your speed. It does, however, take you a few moments to find Gojo, but once you do, you find that he's not looking at you, but he’s speaking, and it's not to you either; it's to something—or rather someone—he's blocking with his body.

“Gojo?” you ask once you finally reach him.

Gojo turns to face you, a sorrowful smile on his face, before stepping out of the way to reveal who he was speaking to and the whole reason why he called you here in the first place.

When you see Getou on the ground, your heart sinks into your stomach, and your blood runs cold. You look back at Gojo, who merely shrugs.

“You should say your goodbyes; I already did,” Gojo whispers before leaving you and Getou alone.

Getou lets out a hushed laugh. “That’s a little melodramatic of him, don’t you think?”

The hammering of your heart roaring in your ears makes it difficult to hear what he says. You stand there frozen in what you can only describe as horror as you stare down at Getou, who's missing an arm and is only growing more pale by the second from blood loss.

“Do you plan on ignoring me?” he asks softly, as though he’d understand if that really was your plan.

You blink a few times and shake your head, your tears blurring your vision. “I dont-“ 

Getou hums appreciatively and smiles up at you, which makes you completely break down, a sob racking through your body so violently that the only thing you can do is collapse to your knees. Getou winces as he tries to sit up straighter, as if he’s going to catch you or crawl over to you. You sniffle, your sobbing uncontrollable, as you crawl to him, and once there, you let your head fall upon his blood-stained chest. Getou immediately places his only remaining hand on the back of your head, as if holding it to his chest, and gently pats your head.

“Are you an idiot?” you snap.

“Might be.” 

You sob even harder into his chest. “Why would you do this?”

Your question makes his heart race. “I wanted something better for Jujutsu society.”

You shake your head at him disapprovingly. “Why’d you have to go about it this way?”

“I don’t know Y/N," he sighs. "Does it make a difference?”

You scoff, raising your head to glare at him. “Of course it does, you idiot! You left! and had a hit placed on you! Why couldn’t you have just stayed?” You sob, letting your head fall back onto his chest. “Why couldn’t you have wanted me as much as you wanted this? Why couldn’t... Why couldn’t you have wanted me as much as I wanted you?”

“Y/N,” he coos regretfully, as if he doesn’t know what to say, which he doesn’t. He did want you, and he’d even go as far as saying he wanted a better jujutsu society for you so you wouldn’t have to live your days slaving away for the non-sorcerers. “Y/N, look at me.”

You shake your head and screw your eyes shut, not wanting to look at him. You don’t want to see your first and only love withering away right in front of you.

“Y/N, please look at me.”

“I-I can't."

“Y/N, open your eyes.”

The demandingness dripping from his voice has your head shooting up to look at him and your eyes opening wide, but as you open them, you’re not met with an actively dying Getou; you're met with a sunny and flower-filled meadow? You move to wipe your tears, but your face is dry. You blink a few times, trying to take in your new surroundings, given that a moment ago you were just in a dark alley and now you're sitting on a blanket in a field under a glowing sun.

“Y/N?” Someone speaks from beside you.

Your attention is drawn to the person. “Getou?” 

He smiles at you.

“Getou, where are we?” you ask, now starting to slightly panic.

He looks at you in confusion. “We’re on our date?”

Your chest heaves up and down, and you're more confused than ever. “Huh? But- We-“ 

“We what?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“We were just behind Jujutsu High; you were missing your arm, and-"

Getou scoots in closer to you and cradles your face in his hands. The feeling of a warm, full-of-life Getou touching you brings tears to your eyes all over again.

“Woah, woah, love, calm down. What are you talking about? Jujutsu High? Me missing an arm?”

“You don’t remember?” You croak out, distraught, and slightly convinced that you’re going crazy.

“Remember what, love?” he asks softly.

You stare at him in disbelief. “The fight—you wanted a better jujutsu society, and you tried? You lost your arm! You were dying; I saw you! I was there with you! You were covered in blood and-“ 

Getou gently wipes your tears away. “Love, that didn’t happen. I’m here, yeah? and I have both my arms, and there was no fight for Jujutsu society? Whatever that means..."

You blink at him, dumbfounded. “What?” 

“It was probably just a bad dream, Y/N.” He smiles at you reassuringly.

“You don’t know about jujutsu society?”

“Am I supposed to?”

You stare at him in awe. What’s happening? How could he not know about jujutsu society when it was the very thing he was fighting for? But then again, how could he not be missing an arm? And how could the two of you not be in a dark alleyway right now? How could any of this be happening? Maybe he’s right; maybe it really was a bad dream. A very vivid, detailed, lucid, and lifelike bad dream.

“I guess not,” you respond with a frown.

Getou wipes away your last few tears and smiles at you. “You’re okay; I’m okay. We’re okay. It was just a bad dream, love.”

“Yeah,” you say haltingly, "yeah, I guess it was..."

“Are you okay now?”

You nod as you take one of his hands off your face and into your own. “Yeah, I think so... Um, where are we, Getou?”

“On our weekly date?” He answers curiously as he removes his other hand from your face.

You look around at your surroundings curiously. “In the middle of a forest?”

“This is your favorite place, Y/N,” he says, quizically.

As you take another glance around, you hum, not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing. “I can see why; it’s beautiful here.”

He raises his free hand and grips your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “Y/N, are you okay? How come you don't remember?”

You look into his eyes, and something doesn't feel right—as if you're not meant to be here—but you digress and shrug anyway. “I don't know...”

He frowns briefly before leaning in and giving you a quick peck on the lips, and you practically melt, having not felt his lips on yours for far too long.

“That's alright. We can still make the most of the rest of our day, right?”

You nod, and he smiles at your response, letting go of your face and hand to open his arms to you, inviting you into his embrace. You return the smile before laying yourself in his arms, trying to ignore the rising feeling that something is wrong, but you can't because the minute your head touches his chest, you're thrown into a moment, a memory, a dream? where you're back in the alley with your head on a bleeding-out Getou, and it's just for a split second, a flash in time, but it's enough to make you go stiff and your breath hitch.

Getou rubs his hand down your back soothingly. “Hey, what's wrong?”

You swallow harshly and try to concentrate on the green scenery in front of you rather than whatever you keep seeing. “Nothing, I'm fine. It's fine.”

Getou places his head on top of yours. “Are you sure?”

You nod. “I am.”

He hums disapprovingly but doesn't press the issue any further; instead, he just runs his hand up and down your spine in an attempt to calm you down, which works as you begin to relax into his embrace and regain control of your breathing.

“What do we usually do here?” you ask, breaking the silence.

He shrugs. “Usually just talk about our days, our future plans, and stuff like that.”

You hum. “Is it nice?”

“Very nice; I like spending our days together.”

“I do too,” you correct yourself, “or I'm sure I did too.”

Getou doesn't say anything; instead, he lays himself down and, since he's holding you, takes you with him. You sigh contentedly and let your eyes flutter close, the sun and his hold keeping you warm. Suddenly, even with your eyes closed, you can tell it's getting brighter outside, and you groan. You’re about to ask what's up with the sun when a shooting pain in your head causes you to wince. Your heartbeat rings in your ears, and you can feel your hands grow clammy.

You feel unstable, as if you're no longer on the ground being held, as if you're floating through time and space, and the uncertainty forces your eyes open, but you're not met with anything—no, that's not right, you're met with everything, glimpses of time that you can barely make out. One moment you see Getou at an alter, and then you see you and Getou nodding to each other in determination, and the next glimpse is of you, Getou, Gojo, and Shoko laughing about something before you’re hit with another shooting pain in your head. Screwing your eyes shut, you hiss in pain, and all too suddenly, you're back on stable ground, no longer floating, and the brightness you could see through closed eyes a moment ago is gone.

You still hesitate to open your eyes, unsure of what you'll see, but when you can just barely make out that you're not where you were before, your eyes shoot open. You're now standing in the doorway of what appears to be the room of two teen girls, and Getou is sitting at a vanity staring at you; his hair and make-up are done, and he's frowning. Despite your confusion about where you are, you can't help but burst out into a fit of laughter.

He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Oh haha, yeah, keep laughing.”

You slap your hand over your mouth in an attempt to stifle your laughter. “What happened?”

He crosses his arms over his chest and looks away, mumbling, “Our daughters thought I would make a very good model, apparently.”

You go to laugh again, but it hits you, and you look at him like he's crazy. “Sorry, daughters?”

He returns the look. “Yes? Our kids?”

You look away, muttering to yourself, “We have kids...”

You didn't mean for him to hear it, but he does anyway and instantly stands up and makes his way toward you. He grabs your shoulders, drawing your attention to him, and when you look at him, he's staring back at you in concern.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You want to take him seriously, but truthfully, you can't when he’s wearing bright pink lipstick and bright pink eyeshadow. He does look cute, though. You try to bite back a smile.

“I'm sorry, but I can't take you seriously when you look like that.”

Getou sighs. “I know I look amazing. Can you try to ignore my beauty for like five seconds and tell me why you’re acting like you don't remember our kids?”

You frown. What are you supposed to tell him? That you're apparently having nightmares upon nightmares about different lives with him? And now you're not sure what's real and what's not? You can't say that, so instead you shrug and merely mutter, “You do look amazing like that, though.”

His head drops to the side at the same moment that his smile fades. “Y/N.”

“I don't know.”

“You don't know?”

“Some really weird shit is going on, Getou,” you breathe out heavily.

He doesn’t say anything, instead grabbing your hand and leading you to one of your apparent kids' beds, where he sits you down.

“What’s going on?”

“I don't know, and you wouldn't know either so,” you explain vaguely in frustration.

He gives your hand a squeeze. “Maybe I would?”

You shake your head. “I don’t wanna waste time on that; I don't know how long I have here.”

“What?” he asks blankly. “What do you mean you ‘don't know how long you have here’?”

“Getou,” you whine, not wanting to think or talk about it because you wouldn't even know where to start; all you want is to learn about this new nightmare and what it holds.

He relents. “Okay, I won't ask.”

You smile at him and let a moment of silence pass before asking, “What are they like?”

“Huh?”

“Our kids—daughters.”

Getou hums. “They’re great; we raised them well.”

“They are especially great at making you a model, huh?” you snicker. 

He laughs and rolls his eyes. “Oh whatever, you're just jealous they never make you model.”

You shrug. “What are their names?”

“Well, we were gonna keep the names they had when we adopted them, but they ended up not having any names at all, so we settled on Nanako and Mimiko.”

You stare at him in awe. “Did you pick the names out?”

“We both did,” he recalls fondly and vividly, as if it were just yesterday that the two of you were picking out names.

“And we are...?”

He kisses your cheek before answering, “Married—we’re married.”

You hum and raise your left hand, your gaze fixed on your ring finger. “I don't see a ring?”

He hums curiously. “You were wearing it this morning? Maybe you dropped it somewhere?”

You nod. “Yeah.. Maybe..”

Getou doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t know what to say. What could he? His partner of multiple years suddenly has some form of amnesia and can't remember that they have kids, let alone that they’re married to him. You turn to face Getou. He looks like Getou—like the Getou you know, who apparently was merely a nightmare. Besides all the makeup and stuff, he looks like Getou. He says he’s Getou, but something just feels off.

“Are you real?”

He nods. “Very real.”

You look around the room, taking in the messy vanities, the messy beds, and the drawers stuffed with clothes. “Are our kids real?”

“Extremely real.”

You study his face for any hint of uncertainty, and when you find none, you ask, “Am I real?”

He narrows his eyes at you and hums curiously. letting go of your hand only to bring both hands up to your face and start smooshing your face together, pushing and pulling at the flesh on your cheeks.

“Getou,” you mumble.

He hums approvingly and nods, letting his hands fall back to his sides. “Yep, you’re real.”

You smile at his idiotic antics but appreciate them nonetheless. And although you can touch him and feel him, and he is real, as are you and your kids, it still doesn't seem real. And then, all too suddenly, your head starts throbbing again.

“Fuck no, not again,“ you panic.

“Y/N? whats wrong-“

You can't hear what he’s saying anymore; it's like you've gone underwater and he's speaking to you from the surface. Another shooting pain in your head has your eyes screwing shut, and you know you're fucked when all you can hear is your heartbeat ringing in your ears and feel your hands grow clammy all over again. You’re back to feeling unstable, drifting between time and space once more, and just like last time, the uncertainty of the feeling forces your eyes open, and you're faced with everything again—more glimpses in time that you can barely make out.

One moment you think you see yourself back at the beginning on Getou’s cold chest, and then you see yourself and Getou covered in blood, and you're not sure if it's yours or someone else's, and the next glimpse you see is of Getou on your cold chest, like your roles had been reversed, before you’re hit with another shooting pain in your head. Screwing your eyes shut, you wince in pain, and finally you're back on solid ground again, no longer floating, and the brightness you could see through closed eyes a moment ago is gone. This time you don't hesitate to open your eyes, and you find yourself in a cemetery.

You look around curiously, trying to assess your surroundings while simultaneously trying to recover from whatever just happened. But you're starting to realize something now. All of this is real. You laying on Getou’s chest was real; having a picnic with a perfectly fine Getou in a world where curses apparently don't exist was real; having kids and marrying Getou was real; and all of those little bits of time in between each new life were real. All of it was real—is real; all of it happened—is happening; it just didn't happen to you specifically. Not this version of you, at least. You’ve realized that you’re experiencing different universes and living alternate lives of your own. You didn’t think alternate universes existed, but it's not too hard to accept when the world you live in—the world you belong to—is riddled with curses and sorcerers. You are not above believing in alternate dimensions.

Finally over your sudden epiphany, you're able to realize that you weren't immediately met with Getou like you had been the past two times you got transported into another dimension. As you put the pieces together, a grave feeling washes over you—no Getou, and you’re in a cemetery. You swallow harshly.

No, no, no.

You start running around the cemetery, inspecting each and every headstone, and praying to the universe(s) that you aren't about to find one that reads his name.

No, no, no.

You keep running, the cemetery seemingly interminable, until you run up behind someone who looks suspiciously a lot like Getou, and when you hear him murmur under his breath, you sigh heavily in relief that it is him, but why is he here? You tilt your head and try to look around him to read the gravestone.

“What the fuck?” you exclaim, stunned.

Getou spins around faster than you can even blink, and he almost chokes on his spit. “Y/N?” His chest heaves up and down as he shifts his gaze between you and the gravestone. “But-but-how-you’re-“

“Dead apparently,” you say, finishing his sentence as you stare at the gravestone that reads, "HERE LIES L/N Y/N."

He stares at you, completely bewildered, and you can see him trembling. “How—how are you here?”

Will something bad happen if you tell him this isn't your universe and there are actually multiple universes out there? Who knows, but you’re about to find out.

“I'm not, well, I'm not supposed to be.”

He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “I'm just hallucinating; you’re not real.”

His reply breaks your heart. “I am real.”

“You’re not.”

You step forward, taking his hand in yours. “I am.”

He finally opens his eyes back up, and he stares at you through tears, completely amazed that you're here, that you're actually touching him, and that you're actually alive and real.

“I don't—I dont understand—you're dead!” He stammers, yanking his hand from yours, and as he breaks out into full-on sobs at this point, he’s reminding you an awful lot of yourself in your own world.

You nod slowly. “In this universe, it seems so... how?”

“What?” he stutters. “This universe?”

You ignore his question. “How did I die, Getou?”

He shakes his head sternly. “No, I'm not saying anything until you explain what you meant. What if you’re a curse? What if I cursed you, holy fuck? Fuck!”

“Okay, curses still exist in this universe; good to know,” you acknowledge with a nod.

Getou snaps, “What are you talking about!?”

You flinch, which only makes him sob harder.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap—I'm just so fucking confused; you're supposed to be dead,” he bawls as he falls to his knees.

You take another step closer and kneel down, drawing him into your embrace and letting him sob into your chest for as long as he needs, ignoring the horrible feeling of deja vu crawling all over you like worms.

“Shh, you're okay,” you whisper, soothingly brushing your fingers through his hair.

He finally starts to calm down after a few more minutes of whispering sweet nothings to him, and once he’s no longer sobbing, he pulls away.

“Answer my question, and I'll answer yours,” he says through sniffles.

You nod. 

“What were you talking about, universes? How are you here, Y/N? You’re dead—or you’re supposed to be...”

“Do you believe in alternate or multiple universes?”

He shrugs and wipes away any remaining tears. “I don't know; I never really thought about it.”

You hum and nod. “Right, so, uh, they exist! There are a lot of universes out there, actually." You let out an uneasy laugh.

He stares at you curiously.

“Obviously, I'm not from this universe.”

He continues staring at you.

“Oh, cmon, curses exist, but you draw the line at alternate dimensions?”

Getou frowns and says, “I guess you’re right... So you’re from a ‘different dimension’?”

You point a finger at him, narrowing your eyes. “Don't air-quote me like you don't believe me; how else would I be here right now if I were supposedly dead?”

“I don't know; that's what I'm trying to figure out!” he exclaims, gesticulating wildly.

“Can you just humor me and hear me out?”

He takes a deep breath before ultimately agreeing, “Okay, fine.”

You clasp your hands together. “Okay, um, in my universe, you’re dead.”

“What?!”

You shake your hands and your head. “Ok, no wait! You’re not dead yet, but, uh, you were like on the verge of death when I got put into another universe.”

He looks at you in disbelief. “And you just left me?!”

“It wasn't on purpose! Why would I want to leave you when you’re dying? I don't know how I ended up here! or in the last two other universes!”

He stops you and asks, "Okay, okay, wait—how am I dying?”

You look away awkwardly. “You wanted to change jujutsu society in… a not-so-friendly way... And, um, you were willing to die for your cause.”

“I'm dying the same way you did?”

You return your attention to him. “What?”

Getou nods. “Yeah.”

You shake your head. “What do you mean you're dying the same way I did?”

“In this universe, you’re the one who wanted to change jujutsu society in a... not-so-friendly way,” he explains sheepishly.

“Holy shit,” you mutter to yourself.

He nods again. “So, in yours, our roles are reversed.”

“And I'm dead already? I didn't even last as long as you?”

“Well, yeah, I guess," he shrugs, "but it worked; there hasn't been a curse, at least not a special-grade one, since you died." His eyes gleam as he looks up at you. “Did I succeed?”

You bite the inside of your cheek anxiously and shake your head.

“I'm dying for nothing, then?”

You look away and mumble, “My Getou is okay with it; he knew he might fail—he knew Gojo was the only one who could probably change anything—but he still wanted to try.”

“Okay, well, this—” he gestures to himself, “Getou isn't okay with it.”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, well, you’re also still alive, so it doesn't really affect you that much, now does it?”

“Still! You just told me one version of myself is dead—or dying—and I'm supposed to be chill with that?”

You stare at him blankly. “Your version of me is dead.”

Getou grows quiet, and you can almost physically see how his demeanor wilts away.

“Sorry.”

“It's fine,” he says, shaking his head. “You said you were in two other universes before this one, right?”

You nod. 

“What were they like?”

You smile as you think back on the previous universes: “We were both alive and happy, and we were together in them.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah... and curses didn't exist either.”

“Huh,” he says ambivalently, like he's not sure whether to be happy for his other selves or be bitter that that isn't him. “Tell me more?”

“In the first one, we were actually on a date in some forest that I apparently loved.”

He stares at you wide-eyed, completely engrossed in your retellings.

“In the second one, we were married.”

A smile tugs at his lips. “Really?”

You nod. “We even adopted two daughters.”

“What were they like?” he wonders, enamored by some alternate universe of you two.

“I'm not sure; I didn't get to meet them,” you confess meekly. “But I know their names were Nanako and Mimiko, and they loved doing your hair and makeup. You adored them, and I'm sure I adored them too.”

He nods wistfully. “In your universe, were... were we together?”

“For a bit.” You look away sadly. “We broke up when you, uh, went off and wanted to-“

“Change jujutsu society,” he chimes in.

“Yeah... How'd you-“

“Same thing here, just roles reversed, remember?” He laughs sadly.

You nod. “Did you still love me? even after I'd gone off and did what I did?”

“I did. I do,” he quickly corrects himself. “Did you?”

“I still do.”

The two of you sit looking away from each other in glum silence. It's hard to stay upbeat about your happy alternate selves when your actual selves are currently dying or dead.

“Kinda feels like we got the short end of the stick, don't you think?” Getou mumbles softly.

“Huh?”

“Well, I mean, there are no curses in those universes, and we’re both alive and happy, but in ours we’re dead?” he elaborates.  

You nod reluctantly. “Well yeah, but I don't know; I guess it's kinda nice to know that it worked out in at least one universe.”

“Don't you wish it worked out in ours?”

“Of course I do, Getou; what kind of question is that?" you scoff. "You think I want to go back to my universe just to watch you die?”

“Well,” Getou pauses, turning to face you, “what if you don't go back?”

Your gaze zeroes in on his. “What?”

“What if you stay?…”

You abruptly stand up and chuckle uncomfortably. “Getou-“ your sentence is cut short by an echo of your name that only you seem to hear because you're the only one gazing in the general direction it seemed like it came from.

Getou joins you on your feet and follows your stare, but when he realizes you aren't staring at anything, he returns his sight to you.

“Think about it.”

His voice snaps you out of your trance, and you look back at him with a small frown.

“I'm practically dead in your universe, and you're dead in mine, but we’re together right now!" he says, taking your hand in his. "Maybe the universe put you into mine for a reason— so we don't have to go back to one where we’re not together…”

You struggle to swallow; your mouth suddenly goes dry as Getou stares at you in full, unadulterated hope, and you can't bring yourself to say anything to crush that.

“Y/N, wouldn't that be nice?”

You nod and murmur, “It would.”

“Then?” he asks expectantly.

Someone calling out your name echoes in your head again, and you quickly look down the street to now see a small, bright light in the distance, and you know your time here is soon coming to an end.

“I... I can't stay, Getou.”

His voice cracks as he panickedly asks, “Why?”

"Because,” you explain with a shake of your head, “I'm not your Y/N, and you're not my Getou.”

“I could be,” he says confidently, or he would have if it weren't for the way his voice trembled.

Your vision goes blurry from the tears welling up in your eyes as you shake your head.

“We could try!”

You sniffle and reiterate, “I can't stay.”

“Please,” he begs through his sobs. “Please, we can make it work.”

You look away from him, trying to fight back your tears, but it's futile; you’re a complete mess, just like he is now. “No.”

His hands shake as he grips your face and forces you to look at him. “Y/N, please, I'm begging you.”

“I cant.”

“Don't leave me again.”

The same voice calling out your name echoes in your head again, this time louder, and the bright light is getting bigger and closer.

“I don't want to go back to a universe where you’re just gonna leave me either, but,” you sob, weakly clinging onto the wrists of his hands that are still on your face.

“So stay.”

You shake your head and take his hands off your face. “I won't.”

Getou’s head goes limp and drops as sobs shake his entire body, and you can't help but think that's exactly how you'll look when you return to your universe and have to deal with the death of your Getou.

“Please,” he pleads.

You're both in tears as you lift his head up by his chin to look at you. The voice calling your name echoes even louder, and the bright light is getting closer by the second.

“You’re not my Getou, and I'm not your Y/N.”

He nods reluctantly. “I know, but...“

The bright light is only a few feet away at this point, and the voice echoing in your head is so loud that it's giving you a migraine—you know this is your last few minutes, if that, in this universe, so you lean in and take Getou’s lips into yours—a goodbye kiss for a Getou who you'll never see again, a goodbye kiss for a Getou who desperately needs one when he never got one from his y/n. You pull away and cradle his cheek gently.

“I have to go say goodbye to my Getou now; I think he’s waiting for me.”

He nods. “If he’s anything like me, he’ll want a goodbye kiss too.”

A faint smile tugs at your lips. “I know.”

Getou doesn't get the chance to respond when you're suddenly gone—completely vanished right before his eyes.

You, on the other hand, are back again, feeling unstable as you float through time and space, and again, the uncertainity of the feeling forces your eyes open, but this time you're met with only one thing—the image of you on your Getou’s chest. With every passing second, it grows closer, as does his voice calling out for you, and before you know it, you're back in your body, looking up at him with a gasp.

“Y/N?” he asks weakly.

You're still in tears from the previous universe as you now pull him into your embrace.

He winces, and you quickly let go of him. “Sorry.”

He smiles at you with blood in his mouth and teeth. “It's okay.”

You have to force yourself to look away to try and choke back a sob, but Getou notices immediately and slowly lifts up his remaining hand to cradle your cheek.

“It’s okay, Y/N.”

You nod. “I know.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“I know,” you croak out.

“Kiss me?” He asks out of breath, knowing he doesn't have much longer.

You don't hesitate to lean in and kiss him, ignoring how it tastes like blood and tears as well as how cold his lips feel. You ignore it because he's kissing you back. He’s kissing you with all the power his frail body can muster, and it makes up for all the years, months, weeks, days, minutes, and seconds that your lips haven’t touched. But just as quickly as he kisses you, he stops, but it's gradual; he gradually stops kissing, moving, and breathing. It doesn't take long for it to get to that point, and even when he's not kissing back, you still kiss him with some fairy-tale hope that it will bring him back, that your kiss will somehow save him, like he's Snow White and you're Prince Charming. But it doesn't.

It doesnt.

You pull away to look at Getou, whose eyes are glazed over but not closed. You sob as you reach up to close his eyes, only to let your head fall against his chest. He’s so cold. Too cold. That's why you have to stay there on top of him to keep him warm. You'll stay there all night if you have to. But you don't even get the chance to stay there for longer than a few minutes when someone suddenly pulls you off of him, and you look over your shoulder to see Gojo, who's crying as well.

“He’s gone, Y/N.”

"I know," you sniffle, “I know.”

Gojo helps you up to your feet, his hand on your waist to keep you steady as he leads you away from Getou’s body. The further you get from it, the harder you cry.

But it's okay. It’ll be okay because, even though you lost Getou in this universe, you’ll eventually be able to come to peace with it knowing that in a hundred, a thousand, and even a million other universes, you and Getou are living happily ever after.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

[billgetsmewet]

Make-up S€x..

Bill Kaulitz

-MUTUALS WHO FLWD ME FOR FASHION PLS IGNORE THIS OMDS-

warnings : s€x , fighting/arguing, sad start (great end😊)

You were at your apartment, waiting for Bill to come home.

He was always getting home late nowadays, barely paying attention to you, even though you tried to let him know multiple times that you felt neglected.

He told you he would be home by 11pm on the dot, he sweared he wouldnt be late this time.

Wasnt a surprise that it was already 1am and he still wasnt in your sight.

Around 1:54am he barged in, not even saying hello, before dropping his bag and his jacked straight on the floor and going to bed.

He knew this bothered you but he couldnt give less of a shit.

You walked up to him, about to confront him, but he didnt even look at you, you were on the edge of breaking into tears.

You sat down next to him, trying to spit a word out of your mouth without crying.

“Bill..” you mumbled, your voice all quiet and shakey.

No reply.

“Bill!” you said, a bit louder this time.

Still no reply.

“Oh for fucks sake, Bill!” you angered, raising your voice enough for him to finally look at you, but you could tell he was already tired of you talking to him.

“Bill..” you let out another mumble.

“What?” he replied harshly

“Talk to me..” you begged

He didnt even budge, he was too tired to make an effort.

“You said youd be home by 11.. its almost 2am..” you said, waiting for a reply… but he just stared at you.

Finally he sighed, replying.

“I got busy”

Why has he been so cold and ignoring..? you thought to yourself.

“I was worried” you whispered, almost breaking into tears on the spot, you knew he was lying, you knew he was just having fun with his friends.

“You should be used to it by now” he replied coldly, tearing your heart apart.

You couldnt hold it back anymore and you let the tears shed.

He sat up, snapping back to reality.

You walk out of the room, not wanting him to see you cry.

He follows.

You sit down on the couch in the livingroom, curling up.

He sits down next to you.

“L..listen.. i didnt mean to hurt you.. ive been busy.” he stuttered.

“Bill, i know youve just been out with your friends, i know damn fucking well youre not busy!” you cried.

“Ive been worrying my ass off, you sweared youd be home on time.. Im not your mom, i cant stop you from coming home late, but you can do the bare minimum and make an effort to be home the same day atleast!” you wiped your tears.

He sighs.

“Y/N i just want to live life until i can! im only young now!” he says.

“Bullshit.” you sigh. “You lie too, theres no point.”

“Bill, you have to understand im young too! And i happen to want to live my life with you! I make efforts, i dont want to beg for your love.”

He feels his heart break as you say that.. did he really hurt you that much?

“Im.. im..” he couldnt seem to get the words out of his mouth..

You zip your sweater down, youre getting hot from crying so much, and Bills body heat is making you feel hotter.

He looks at you as if he saw an angel fly by, you looked gorgeous, but he knew he shoudlnt focus on that, however his eyes were gkued to your chest.

“Im..” he mumbles.

“Youre what, Bill? Is it really that fucking hard?” you mumble, not loud enough to make it clear to him what you said..

“W-what..?! I-Im not.. hard? I..” he tried fighting down what he thought your assumptions are.

You look him up and down, rolling your eyes.

“I- i mean! i… oh god” he stutters.

“Youre a fucking idiot..”

You walk back into the bedroom.

He follows once again.

You lay down on your side of the bed, he lays down on his, facing you.

“Im sorry..” he finally spits out.

“Wasnt so hard now was it?”

He looks down, ashamed.

You turn over, you dont want to see his face right now.

He glides his hands down your stomach, pulling you closer.

“Can i make it up to you?”

His words gave you butterflies, but you didnt reply, you just wanted him to read your mind.. or your body language.

He glides his hands even lower, finally touching the bottoms of your pyjamas.

God, his hands are so gentle..

He pats your thighs a bit before bringing his hands back up and tucking on the string of your pyjama bottoms.

“Can i?”

You nod.

He unties the string, sliding his hands underneath your pyjama bottoms.

He can feel how wet you already are.

Your breathing gets heavier and heavier by the second.

You arch your back, begging for some spark, begging him to finger you.

—————————————————————————

You can barely catch your breath , as he thursts his cock in and out of you at such a fast pace that youre surprised you can even keep up.

With each thurst he slides his cock just to the very tip, only to slam it right back in.

He moans with each thurst, your noises align.

He feels as if he cant control himself…

He can feel both of you reaching your climaxes.

“Hold onto me.. okay? Fuck…”

“Close?” he whines.

You nod, moaning heavily.

“Me too baby, me too..”

He continues, not missing a single beat from the rythm.

Not long after hes on the edge of finishing.

“I..Im.. fuck..”

He tries speaking again.

“Im gonna.. cum..”

He moans as he says the last word, releasing his seed inside of you, making you finish aswell.

He makes sure to fuck his cum into you, not wasting a single drop.

—————————————————————————

You guys cuddle in bed, resting after whatever just happened.

“Im sorry” He whispers.

You pull him closer as an answer.

“I promise on my life i wont be late again.. im sorry..”

He kisses you, caressing your head, before both of you fall asleep.

—————————————————————————

Alright i hope u guys liked that! sorry the smut part was short:(

Also i apologize for the spelling mistakes and all that, im hungarian and i dont know how to spell fancy words, ykwim?

Tried my best! Love u!

[lesbiantrish]

hiya!! ive been meaning to do this for awhile…

but uh! this is a music analysis for thoschei for so long, london (taylor swift ) !!!

( @thetorturedlovergirl @dykethoschei )

“i saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist” so i could be remembering wrong but i believe during the gallifrey flashbacks in divided loyalties, they talk about some sort of lights overhead? how koschei and theta probably saw them together.

“i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift” koschei was dying inside all that time at the academy, but she couldnt let herself show it. for theta.

“pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” koschei tried so hard to hold onto theta. but the truth? theta was going to leave in every timeline.

“my spine split from carrying us up the hill” again, koschei just wanted theta. that was all. they tried so hard to hold onto him, but he didnt even see it. maybe he did. it didnt matter.

“i stopped trying to make him laugh” they used to be so close. one day it just wasnt worth it anymore. he couldnt pine after a ghost.

“thinkin, how much sad did you think i had” koschei was always there for theta. did theta even see it?

“so long, london” not leaving london, but gallifrey. afterall, koschei couldnt sit and wait around for theta to come back forever, could he? he had to move on. move on without theta.

“you’ll find someone” because theta did. again and again. companion after companion.

“i didnt opt in to be your odd man out” theta has loved so many, but apparently he could never bring themself to love koschei.

“i left all i knew” because he did. koschei left all he knew on gallifrey, and went to search for a purpose.

“you left me at the house by the heath” why did you have to go theta? didnt u understand koschei was going to love you forever? she did. they still do. it wasn’t enough.

“i stopped CPR, after all its no use” theres no use trying to be good when everyone has always treated u like what u r, a monster.

“and im pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” they were just kids. koschei wasted her teen years loving someone that was always going to leave.

“two graves, one gun” in the end, its always theta pointing a gun at koschei, and koschei welcomes Death.

“and you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it” theta was always so mad at koschei, but koschei would have sacrificed everything for theta. and didnt she?

“my white knuckle dying grip” koschei was always meant to die by the doctor’s hands. and he will continue to every time.

“holding tight to your quiet resentment” maybe it isnt so quiet. but its there.

“my friends said it wasnt right to be scared, every day of a love affair” this could mean multiple things. maybe koschei talked to the deca about theta?

“every breath feels like rarest air, when you’re not sure if he wants to be there” koschei never knew that theta loved him. she knew. of course she did. it didnt matter.

“just how long did you think i’d go? before i’d self implode” how long would koschei have waited for theta? not forever. he was always going to break eventually.

“you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues” again, koschei was begging to be noticed. theta didnt even see them.

“i died on the altar waiting for the proof” even now, koschei is just trying to get theta to look at him. he dies every time.

“you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” about how theta left (in the divided loyalties flashbacks) and went and found the toy maker. he was a god.

“and im just getting color back into my face” will koschei ever be over theta? no. i dont think so.

“im just mad as hell cause i loved this place” gallifrey, but more, theta.

“had a good run, a moment of warm sun” they were happy for a bit, so was it all worth it? was all the pain and suffering and death worth a few of theta’s smiles? theta will look at anyone but koschei. why?

[yanderespamton78]

WHY ADI IS A GOOD CHARACTER AND NOT JUST AN EVIL SCIENTIST CHILD MURDERER

AAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD YOU DONT UNDERTAND HOW WORKED UP I GET OVER THIS DEBATE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ARARRARARRARRA also btw i watched sweet tooth ages ago so i might get some details wrong

(please dont take anything said here personally i am tired and angry and i get so sososo worked up over this debate since Adi is very similar to a character ive been obsessed with for a year)

so after being in a sweet tooth fandom for a bit i found that much to my surprise (and distain) adi is actually a thoroughly hated character, which was surprising after coming from a fandom where the "evil child murderer" character is one of if not the most popular. And i feel that a lot of the people who hate adi do just see him as "evil child murderer" BUT HES MORE THAN THAT!!!! I PROMISE!!!!! get out of that echo chamber and open your mind to a new opinion (please i spent like 40 mins typing this out)

so firstly, adi was actually just a really nice normal guy before the crumble. he was a sweet man, he was a doctor, he was dad material. not a psychopath. he clearly isnt insane or murderous by nature. We can see his love for Rani in the first episode when he starts freaking out and barging past people just to try to keep her alive even when he knew the odds werent in his favour. he clearly loves his wife more than the world itself and would burn cities in her name. This is a man who Loves His Wife. After the crumble we can see that Adi and Rani are living a semi normal life. we see that all Adi wants is some normalcy despite the horrible situation he's been put into. And all he really needs for that is his wife. Evidently the rest of his family is already dead even if its not mentioned so this man is already under a lot of stress, also knowing that if anyone finds out that Rani has the sick he's screwed. but you know what? hes coping. hes living. maybe he's sometimes forced to be just a lil bit sadistic but its fine its fine its okay because Rani is okay. When he first sees Gladys's research he is horrified and refuses to do the things asked. he loves his wife but even he stops at the idea of killing children (like a normal person). When whatserface (forgot her name) is killed by the horse he is horrified but you can even see a bit of Rani's sadistic nature with how quickly she is to be like "right welp hide the body it was not our fault :)" while Adi is moritified but still helps her because shes his wife and she loves him.

In fact, even when abbot kidnaps him he doesnt want to kill the children. Why would he??? He kills them because if he doesnt Rani will die and all he wants is Rani to be okay. Put yourself in his shoes. your whole life was flipped upside down in the crumble and then your second chance at a mostly normal life was also torn away from you. Now the person dearest to you in the whole world (and also the only person you still have) is about to die at the hand of Doctor Robotnik, who is also trying to force you to kill children otherwise he'll kill you too. Adi is visibly shook after having to kill roy. He didn't want to. He even says in his little voice vlog thing that he has done something terrible (iirc). When Gus comes along he is desperate to have a reason to spare him and when Gus talks he is overjoyed that he doesnt have to kill another child. Sure he's kind of forceful and aggressive but my man is under so much stress and has been for the past 10 years let him be pissy. AND his wife is okay (for now)!! woohoo!!! When he finds the cure he is overjoyed. Sure he ignores his wifes wishes but at this point he is numb to the killing. IT IS EXPLICITLY STATED MULTIPLE TIMES DURING THE SHOW THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO BE A DOCTOR BECAUSE HE STARTS TO BECOME NUMB TO THE DEATH. he KNOWS that this whole doctor thing will start driving him a bit cooky and tries to avoid it but he's forced into it. and that is why he doesnt understand the true reason behind Rani's crying and begging. He doesnt fully realise how she feels at this point due to what he's been forced to do and thinks its too late to go back

He goes back into his laboratory and everything's gone. burned away. AND his wife left him. here is when i feel you can really see where he snapped. Everything he has is gone now. the only thing he could ever need, and the person who he did all those terrible terrible things for, is gone. It cant get worse now. He starts spiralling and going down a desperate path to redeem himself. At this point he is completely insane and broken. He really thinks with all his heart that the only way he can fix what he's done ad get forgiveness from his wife is by killing gus. he thinks its the right thing to do. He's delusional. he seems like a hollow shell of himself by the last season but you can still see little sparks of his old self occasionally. he betrays Gus and team because he thinks its the only way he can redeem himself. the only way he can get Rani to forgive him. But at the last second RIGHT before stabbing Gus he realises its not right and he realises that he's become a terrible person that his wife would be ashamed of. HE REDEEMS HIMSELF. HE SAVES GUS. AND YOU LOT STILL SEE HIM AS THE EVIL CHILD MURDERER. DIEEEEEE

anyways TLDR i love Adi a lot and he did the bad things that he did because he was sad and desperate and loves his wife a lot and anyone who thinks otherwise can go suck toes

[tranzsunnyd]

heads up- it seems like ai fics are becoming more undetectable on ao3

this week alone ive found multiple fics that just. scream ai- as in theyve been generated using chatgpt. if youve ever fucked around with the website you'll know the telltale aesop's fable esque style, but some people genuinly dont seem to spot it- which is. Terrifying!

^this is the start of an inside out two "fic" with over five hundred kudos. it seems relatively normal- except its...vaguely generic. it doesnt sound like someone whos watched the media its from

the same goes for endings of each prompt/scene.

writing is hard, writing endings is harder, but when there's a consistent pattern of a certain writing style i find it hard to believe that these were written wholly by a human.

then there's the constant line breaks, i couldnt help but notice that each scene is quite short- and consistent with how chat gpt only ever generates a few paragraphs at a time.

three or more linebreaks in every single chapter- even when its not really neccesary!

i dont doubt that some of this work was edited and rewritten. some of the dialouge does flow smoothly in later chapters, some of the action doesnt sound clunky.

an easy way to understand how chat gpt's style is by looking at generated examples. i tried entering a similiar prompt, where we can see how generic it is in a few excerpts:

its scary how descriptive some parts are, but the key point is that the program still has lapses. common phrases are overused, the pace has a lot of timeskips, and character's genders often get switched around.

looking at the comments of the fic is also a good indicator to check:

of course writers arent perfect. im not saying that every fic will be absent of tropes and errors but when this style is mixed with them in every. single. chapter. for over twenty thousand words written in about ten days. well.

and if you try to reason with such authors:

this is one of about five ai fics i've seen this week, albeit the most popular. please dont use robot generated garbage on a fanwork website, and dont support people who do it either!

[vroerry]

Hi. So, to start, i dont know the difference between oneshot and short fanfic, im not used to those words yet, im sorry ;n; so make it whichever one of those two you feel like and would have fun with! Id like a nice little story to read, not just headcanons alone if possible.

Ive been thinking about this idea that takes place after Kazuichi Soda gets yelled at by Sonia in the Dangan 2 game, and they all storm off in their own directions. But then, reader tries to go comfort Kaz and one thing leads to another~

I suppose a touch of angst would be appropriate for such a story, but i dont want it to be just that, or too focused on that. Thats the lead up to the NSFW, which is the focus.

Reader goes and finds Kaz in the night after everyone went seperate ways, comforts him, they talk, hes probably a bit snippy, but then calms down. These 2 were buddies, not dating, but then all the ~stuff~ happens, and, you get the rest. Sexy stuff ought to cheer the man up lol. You fill out the "how" of this scenario. Howd they end up in bed? Have fun with it.

Im sure reader would feel bad for Kaz, not wanting him to be in distress. Maybe reader has been secretly pining for Kaz, but that doesnt HAVE to be a detail, im kinda making this all up quickly, throwing in lots of details, and you decide what sticks~ The others on the island didnt see each other for the rest of that night, so they could definitely get alone time no problem. Maybe after he calms down a bit, reader comes up behind him and hugs him, sweet and somber.

Idk about location, because the others would be in their cottages, but the motel should be free at this point, so maybe there so they can be loud and not care.

Can i PLEASE have reader taking kaz's hat the morning after because her hair is so messed up, like "gimmi that shit, your hair looks fine as hell, im the mess today i need hat." Maybe something in the end about them trying to act natural the next day around the others, you know? Perhaps some hickeys gave it away or somethin, whatever you think up and wanna write is cool.

Gender neutral or female reader is cool if ya dont mind. And idk what genre to label it as like you asked in your rules. Slight angst with mostly NSFW? Idk how to genre, i apologize ;-;

Thank you for reading, i look forward to your future works, whatever youre inspired to do is cool. Take it easy<3 ~Tiara👑

I'm so freaking sorry for the wait😭 My life took a heavy turn, but I'm fine now!

When I tell you I took my sweet time to play around with this scenario~

Also, difference between short fanfic and oneshots: It might be made up by me??? For me a short fanfic is multiple parts, 10 at tops, each part being around 1600 words at least?? So the entire fic is maximum around 16k words.

But now, to the fanifc:

A comforting touch

Kazuichi Souda x fem reader, NSFW

words: 1380

Another day on the islands, another day to end in chaos. Just the usual Jabberwock Island drama in the middle of a damned killing game.

Everything was fine, everything was going well, until Kazuichi decided to express his love for Sonia again. And this time, it did not end well. And you were the one that was in charge of finding Kazuichi. Again.

"Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Hajime asked you and sent you off on your way.

"I will!" you replied and took went on a journey to find your buddy. Ever since you've ended up in this situation, he made you weirdly comforted. His goofiness, his fun aesthetic, everything. Except for when he was driving Sonia, and after that everyone else, insane. Even you struggled to understand his obsession with her, but brushed it off. It's his business not yours. It's his business not yours...

When you started looking for him, the sun was still up, but soon the moon took his place on the sky with the stars and you were completely clueless about his whereabouts.

"Let's see..." you thought to yourself. "What did I miss...?" The locations quickly ran through your head. Library, check. Theater, check. Cottages, check. First island entirely? Check.

"The motel!" you said out loud. "Well, I doubt he'd be there but... it's worth a shot" you wondered and decided to give it a go. You made your way to the third island and immediately headed for the motel. The abandoned looking building looked the same as ever, and the smell of musk was just as strong as before. You slowly opened the door and called out to the seemingly empty building.

"Kaz? Are you here...?" you walked inside and started looking around. "I just want to make sure you're okay, bud... I've been looking for you for hours..."

No response.

You continued to walk around the dusty place, stopping every now and then in front of doors.

"Kazu? Please be here, I have no other idea where to look for you... We can do whatever you want... Just be okay..."

Still nothing.

You sighed.

"Fuck, maybe I was wrong..." with a heavy heart you started to get to the exit. "I hope he's alright..." as you started walking away, a door behind you opened. You quickly turned back to see Kazuichi standing in the doorway.

His hair was the usual mess, he cried his eyeliner off.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "Were you that worried?"

"It's okay! Oh god, I finally found you..." you said and went back to him. "Thank god you're okay... Would a hug be okay?"

"Yeah..." he replied and you wrapped your arms around him and so did he.

"It's going to be okay... I promise, Kaz... You'll apologise to her tomorrow and everything will be fine..."

"I will..." Kazuichi said. "I... i went overboard... I didn't want to upset her..." he slowly let go of you.

"I suppose... You don't want to go back there, right?" He shook his head in response.

"I don't want to be near anyone right now... Well, aside from you, I guess... But if you don't want to stay, you can go back..."

"No, it's fine" you brushed the offer off. "I'll stay here with you... I promised the others and myself that I'd keep an eye on you..."

"Alright then.. I guess... we can stay here..."

"Do you... uh... want to talk about everything that happened..?" you ask. He stays silent for a bit.

"Let's sit down..." he said and went back to the room he was hiding in. You followed him.

He sat on the bed and gently tapped the space next to him.

"C'mere... Let's have a... chat..." he smiled at you gently and rested his back against the wall. You sat next to him with a curious look as he speaks up.

"So... I know I fucked up... Miss Sonia didn't deserve that" he mumbles, looking down with a guilty expression. "But at the same time.. I... don't really know how else to show her how I feel... My parents never really... taught me how to handle emotions... But it doesn't matter now... She's got real close with that demon lord or whatever he calls himself"

"Kaz..." you sigh. "I know, rejection sucks but... I'm sure you're going to find someone that knows how to take care of you, someone who loves you for you..." you smile at him and pat his shoulder. "Even if that person isn't Sonia... There must be someone out there.."

"Where?" Kazuichi frowns. "I won't ever find my match and you know it... I'm like that one sock at the bottom of the drawer, always lonely and"

You suddenly press your lips on his, making him shut up in the middle of his dialogue.

"That someone is right here, Kaz..." you whisper to his lips. "I may or may not destroy our friendship but I don't care... I am that person..."

"Man... what since when why..." he starts asking every question that comes into his mind. Nonetheless, you quickly. make sure he stays silent.

"Just shut up and enjoy the moment" you kiss his soft lips once again, wrapping your arms around him. Pulling him close, not letting him escape your touch.

Kazuichi's eyes slowly flutter close, as he kisses you back, letting himself go under your touch.

Your hands start to wander around his chest. Slowly caressing each spot through his overall then zipping it down to reach under it...

"Are you surre this is a good idea?" he breathed out.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes" he whispered.

"Then yes..." you kissed his lips again. "It is a good idea.." You smiled and slowly tugged his overal off his chest.

You now began placing passionate kisses all over him. Starting right under his ears, steadily working your way down his neck, stopping at the collarbone and then repeating the said path in reverse. Now going up, every now and then gently sucking on his skin, leaving hickeys. He let out soft sighs of pleasure, his eyes fluttering after each kiss.

"Let me take care of you too" he tried to switch things up but you stopoped him with a firm expression.

"I am the one comforting you" you took your shirt off, making him blush and his eyes lit up in excitement.

"Actually...Keep going" he said with sparkling eyes, as you went down on him with a sly smile. You kissed him like there was no tomorrow, making sure all of your love went through. All the love, admiration, and comfort. Everything that was boiling inside you whenever you thought about Kazuichi But despite your order, his hands began wandering too. Pushing your clothes down, guiding you into his lap.

"Ride me" he pleaded.

"Any time" you replied and began grinding your hips. Back and forth in his lap. Kazu groaned, feeling the pressure of yourbody. His patience on edge, his mind wishing for the clothes to disappear. Both of you bit down on your lips to keep the silence. , Trembling, shaky breaths leaving his mouth he spoke up again.

"We can be as loud as we want... Just please ride me already" he pleaded again, whining under you. He was so on edge, so impatient. So ready for everything to come crashing down.

"I’ll get right to the point, I promise...” you continued to rock yourself back and forth, putting more and more pressure on his body. Even you started to tremble and placed your hands on his chest for support. Gently grabbing onto his small pecks, feeling muscle tensening at your touch. 

"Don't just promise me. Do it"

The next morning the two of you were walking back to the first island. Hand in hand, smiling as the sun was coming up.

"So.... We're together?"Kazuichi asked.

"I am not sure" you replied. "All I know is that..."

The two of you entered the first island. You quickly grabbed his hat and placed it on your head.

"That I need your stupid hat... My hair is a mess..."

"Mine too!" he tried to get his hat back.

"Yours is alway a mess, Kazu. Mine not" you giggled. He rolled his eyes.

"Love you dork,.. And your comforting touch..."

[atla-confessions]

I made a post about being kataang critical but because of Katara and not Aang and some people asked for explanation.

To start: 1. I do not hate Katara, she is my second favorite character. Bring critical of the way she treats Aang is not the same as being anti-Katara. 2. Im not here to argue. Im going to explain my position for people who genuinely want to understand, but I know many people are going to see me critisize Katara and find me unreasonable for it. I dont care. Ive already acknowledged that Im pretty sure Im the only one who notices or cares about these things. 3. I wont list all of my reasons because there are many, Im just going to list a few, but keep in mind this is the tip of the iceberg.

Some of my biggest issues are that their dynamic is just not equal. For example, apologizing. There are multiple times Aang messes up with Katara, and most of the time we see him either apologize, or at least show significant regret. (Hiding the map, burning Katara, ignoring her advice about the Avatar state, running away, the EIP kiss). We simply dont see the same with Katara. The only time I can recall her apologizing is after snapping at him in the pirate episode. (Which, this is not the only time she unfairly snaps at him, but this is the only time she apologizes). There might be other times Im not recalling off the top of my head, but even if there were, its not as much as Aang.

Aang also shows multiple times a verbal willingness to change for Katara. Examples include: when he burned her, he swears off firebending and even when he learns it again, he only learns it with the context of that burn. When he upsets her with the Avatar state he apologizes and says he hopes she never sees him like that again and he does genuinely get a better hold of the avatar state after that, going so far as to simply emotionally shut down. Not including the non-verbal willingness, like when he got jealous of her (and Sokka's) relationship with Bato and their dad and realizes hes messed up, from then on Aang seems very supportive of Katara connecting with her family and of Hakoda himself, to the point of being concerned because he thinks she might be mad at her dad.

Aang considers Katara's advice a lot, even if ultimately he chooses to not use it (usually because he feels it conflicts with his duty as the Avatar). There are times he even thanks her for her input even as he tries to explain that she really doesnt understand the position hes in. When Zuko join, Aang very specifically gives every member their say and is visibly concerned about Katara, who he knows had the biggest issue with Zuko. Meanwhile, times Aang tries to advise Katara, which isnt often, she dismisses it without thought (her fight with Pakku in which he and Sokka are trying to say maybe she shouldnt fight him, and TSR where his literal only real suggestion is 'dont murder')

Katara is shown to be very willing to stand up for herself if she feels anyone has slighted her, including Aang. If it comes down to a decision between her feelings or Aang's feelings, she often dismisses his (like when he runs off at the beginning of book one, shes hurt he left and doesnt see his concerns on his failure or the need to fix it as valid, or TSR where she is hurting and since Aang disagrees with her point of view on how to handle it, she dismisses his own pain). Meanwhile, unless it conflicts with his duty as the Avatar, Aang will allow Katara to do just about anything. He doesnt say anything when she snaps at him (the pirate episode, the Runaway, TSR) and, speaking of TSR its one of the worst cases of this. Aang very explicitly says he does not consent to her taking Appa, yet when she decides to anyway he not only easily lets this go, but goes so far as to endorse and encourage her journey.

I just dont think these imbalances are healthy.

Im not saying Aang is perfect, hes made mistakes with Katara plenty of times, and I like to think Kataras behavior is only indicitive of the fact that she is a traumatized child. I like to think these things improve as she gets older and heals and her devotion grows to match his the longer theyre together. I like to imagine a happy future for them, but kataang as the show presents it makes me uncomfortable. I do not like dynamics where one character is willing to take out their anger at another character who does not stand up for themselves. (For example, when Aang snaps at Katara in The Desert, she very calmly defends herself.)

And again, this is the tip of the iceberg. I have many more reasons, and the examples I gave for each are just things I can recall off the top of my head. Each of these incidents on their own can be explained and justified and Im sure someone out there is going to be tempted to do just that, but it is when these things form a pattern of behavior that it becomes concerning. Katara snapping at Aang once is an act of frusteration, Katara snapping at Aang three times is a pattern.

And part of the reason it bothers me the way it does is that no one else seems to notice these things. Its like Aang thinks Katara is perfect and could do no wrong to him therefore we are supposed to think the same. The only people who are critical of kataang seem to be people who only use that to justify their own ship, so its never about actually scrutinizing their dynamic, its about proving Katara would be better off with their prefered pairing. I'm not a shipper, I dont want to see these two with anyone else, I just dont like the way they are in the show.

Im not going to start a back and forth on this, I promise you any justification you have for Kataras behavior are things Ive already considered. Again, shes my second favorite, I am also a huge Katara defender and, again again, dont consider these things to be stuff that makes her a bad person. Shes a traumatized child and her good deeds far far outweigh her bad, including those toward Aang (I am simply not of the opinion that being mostly good for someone justifies any bad behavior).

But in case anyone was genuinely curious to know why someone might find fault in Kataras treatment of Aang, there you go.

X

[roxyzwritez]

pearlrose content

wanna see how ive been writing all these episodes? spoiler: it was not written with the intent to be read. but its really cute if you can get past and decipher my writes. (also im not 100% sure i like how i did this. may redo this one.) pls feedback. also @rosenotactuallyquartz i think you may like this ((im sorry abt the near daily tags))

under the cut so dashes don't get flooded

greg wakes up. gets coffee. gets breakfast. sits outside. frown.

rose floats over.

rose: good morning greg!

greg: hey rose.

rose: what's the matter? :(

greg: i was hoping you wouldn't ask.. im not doing great.

rose: why is that?

greg: i thought i'd be so happy that you're back. i thought i'd still be completely in love with you like i was before, but.. i just don't feel it anymore. im sorry.

rose, frown: that's okay, greg. we can be friends. i understand. i disappeared for 14 years- not that long to me, but that's a long time for humans. i understand if your feelings changed. especially with all my.. mistakes… revealed. im just glad you told me.

greg: are you sure? its okay to be upset, rose.

rose: i dont follow human relationship dynamics. im a little sad, sure, but you're still a friend. its not the end of the world.

greg: as long as you're okay.

rose: i am. don't worry about me, greg.

greg: okay.

she looks at him with a smile before flying off back home. she walks in.

tumblr note: im really unsure abt the breakup thing honestly. it feels weird especially how she just instantly goes to pearl. tell me ur thoughts yall!

stv, eatin chaps: hey mom.

rose: hi steven. wheres pearl?

stv: ooooooo-

rose chuckles: oh, stop it.

stv: i think she went to her room. she's been in there a lot recently.

rose: huh. alright, thank you steven.

stv: no problem.

rose goes into pearls room.

rose: pearl?

pearl quickly gets up: y-yes rose? sorry, i didn't know you were coming.

rose floats on over: i would like to talk to you about something.

pearl,😳: o-okay.

rose: i know how you feel about me. but im not entirely sure you understand how i feel about you.

pearl looks away: but- greg.

rose, chuckling: pearl. i talked to him just now, and he told me he doesn't feel that way towards me anymore. and from what i understand about human relationships, being with multiple people is a bit of a problem. ive always loved you, pearl. i knew either this would happen, or he'd… reach his time at some point. this was always going to happen, pearl. i don't need future vision for that.

pearl: i-

rose tacklehugs her to the ground and they roll around happy. pearl happycries

rose: ohh, my beloved pearl. not my pearl, but my beloved pearl. does- does that make sense?- oh my- (starts laughing)

pearl, chuckling softly: i know what you meant, rose.

rose: okay. good. le smoochie

pearl: i love you, rose. so much.

rose: i love you even more.

pearl: no, i do.

rose, chuckling: oh, pearl.

they smile at eachother.

stv: that was the cutest thing i've ever seen in my life.

pearl extremely embarrassed: STEVEN!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE-

rose: pearl, its okay. they're all allowed to know. we don't need to be a secret. besides, garnet probably knows anyway.

pearl: o-okay. but steven please don't do that again.

stv: it was so worth it. i will never forget this.

rose: alright, steven. can me and pearl talk in private again?

stv: aww mann. okay. (leaves)

rose: you don't know how badly i wanted to be with you. always. it hurt that i couldn't be there for you for those years.. trapped in his gem. i wish i could've done something, but i just couldn't. believe me, i tried.

pearl: its okay. its not your fault. you're here now, and that is enough for me. (squeeze hug cry) im sorry for crying so much i cant help it.

rose: let it out, pearl. its okay. (soft hug n comforts back, headpats and otherwise adorable shit)

[zarafey]

I don't know what it is with my sister and getting very competitive/possesive over which media/character/book/etc she likes and which ones i like. I sometimes feel like she doesn't want us to have the same favourites. She's expressed distain over me "always pulling for the same characters as her" in a gacha game we both play and when watching new version trailers or other i feel like she's somewhat pressuring me into already picking my "favourite characters" so she can pick others.

Or like... Shes gotten into the habit of buying a lot of books (that then mostly just land on a tbr pile for a few months or longer). Among those books several that ive had on my reading list for some time as well. So ofc i ask her "hey can i borrow this book from you to read?", and she tells me yes i can borrow it but only after she read it first. A year later i still can't borrow it bc she still hasn't read it. And then she gets mad that i borrowed the book from the library to read bc she would have let me borrow it after she read it!

Like... Is it a fkn race over who reads what first? Is it now somehow my story and she can't read it anymore??? Can there only be one person who likes a character? Do we have to act like children and draw a clear line between "mine" and "yours"??

I just have no idea why she acts like this when i was always the one showing her my favourite games and shows etc., very happy when she also liked them. I've let her borrow multiple books i bought or got as gifts and hadn't read yet. I just dont understand what's going on and when I've tried to ask her about it she just gets defensive and leaves the conversation sooner or later.

[puppytummy]

i literally do not know how else i can try to get help i have tried everything i can . i tried therapy i tried help lines i tried crisis center i tried my doctor i waited a year to see a psychiatrist for nothing ive been in hospitals i tried talking to a teacher i trusted 6 years ago. i even tried asking my parents for help. ive tried killing myself multiple times and i got no help besides making sure i was alive and sending me back home with no resources or way to move forward only so i can suffer more. i was hoping maybe i could try antidepressants again and maybe ask for more but no my doctor now just laughs at me and hangs up. i have tried every option i have begged for help. im tired of people telling me to just keep going no matter what this is not worth it. i dont want to suffer forever for no reason i just want help but i dont deserve it or something and im thinking maybe i should just try to kill myself again because its not like i have anything else to try and my life only continually keeps getting worse in ways i cannot control even when i try my best. at the end of the day even besides my mental issues and everything my life is still completely unbearable. even just in like the past month i still lost my long time job i loved and my closest friend and i still live in this house where i am not allowed to leave my room or do anything and i am still unlovable and ugly and i have almost no friends and all i can do is sit here and see other people have everything i have ever wanted and needed. what is the point. like why should i keep living i dont understand why everyone hates me so much but wont let me die. im so tired of trying only for it to always get worse and hurt more. i dont even know how to try anymore. and i dont want to. can i please kill myself

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, reg kin anon back

so, ive looked into it a little but i couldnt find any information online about whether my uni could offer free counselling/support when i get there, so its something i think ill just have to ask about once i actually get there.

which... is in three days. i move out on wednesday 11th, and its absolutely terrifying how soon that is. i feel so underprepared and i hate feeling like that because im the type of person to have multiple backup plans, i always check ahead of time about everything, i was that kid who used to make sure they knew everything they needed to if they got in a car accident or whatever. i was *prepared*, and now suddenly im moving out in three days and havent a clue what im doing.

its also so overwhelming trying to do anything. ive tried making lists to help but even that isnt working, and im so afraid i wont be prepared to go. i dont understand how anyone can be okay with anything anymore. i honestly cant believe i ever wished so badly to be an adult because its the most stressful, frustrating, and terrifying thing ever — and ive not even hit the tip of the iceberg yet, im well aware.

so far ive packed dry foods i bought beforehand (because ive no fucking clue where the food shops are where im moving, or how far they will be, or how easy itll be to trnasport shopping etc, so i figured it would be easier to bring anything i could so that id be set for a day or two at least), and thats about it. i cant pack clothes until the day before, and i cant pack toiletries until just before since ill still be using them, and im not packing all the stuff i bought in earlier asks (bedding, towels etc) until im packing clothes, because right now *theyre* all in my suitcase and theres no point taking them out and taking up more space with them until the clothes need to go in instead. i need to pack my plates and cups and such but i dont have any boxes and my father was supposed to get me some but hes done fuck all this past week and its really stressing me out.

is moving always this stressful or am i just overthinking everything? i feel like i never feel correctly about anything in life (ive had severe anxiety for longer than i can remember which really doesnt help) so i cant tell if im just being dramatic about it or if its actually normal to be so stressed about something that everyone does. would it be easier or more difficult without my mother's diagnosis? i dont know that she'd have helped much anyway, honestly, but still i cant help wondering. do people in normal families find it this difficult or is it calmer?

Hi!!!

Well by the time you read this you'll have moved!

Honestly, there's no real way to be completely prepared. You're gonna forget something, something will go wrong, and part of adulthood is just knowing that things go wrong and it's okay. It'll be okay, and you can figure it out, I promise.

Would it be easier if things were normal? Probably. But moving is still stressful no matter what. I promise you, everyone is stressed about this, and everyone is going to forget something and make mistakes. The most important thing is to find people to rely on, so when you make a mistake, you have people to help, you know? Adulthood is really just calling someone up and saying "I fucked up" and then as soon as you figure it out, someone calls you and says the same.

It'll be okay <3 I'm sending so much love.

[sollucets]

thai bl favorites as tagged by @khaotunq !!! love u jay thank u. here is the original post. all these gifs are mine

heads up note: i tried to avoid repeating myself

Favorite BL: like jay, i’m going to pick something besides the eclipse, but i’m not going to pretend it’s not my actual favorite. it is. i’m just using eclipse in another slot here. so for this one i’m going to pick my school president, my beloved. very nearly, in my eyes, a perfect show

Favorite Pairing: akkaye. forever for the rest of my life to my grave maybe. couldnt put anyone else here

Most Underrated Actor: idk underrated, but whatever amount you guys are appreciating fluke pongsakorn clearly isn’t enough. have you seen him?? hes also very good at his job. his devastated lil faces and his heart eyes, they get me

Favorite Character: you guys already know it’s aye come on this isn’t even fair. ehm…. if you discount the answer everyone already knows, then i think the answer is. well. it’s akk actually but im trying to pretend i have varied interests okay. third is my beloved brave boy heart moonlight chicken

Favorite Side Character: the cats from triage tay kinnporsche my gender beloved. my darling

Favorite Scene: ive said it several times that im not quite as unhinged about bad buddy as my beloved friends and mutuals but i do love it wholeheartedly and there’s really no way to ever beat the rooftop kiss. who’s doing it like them

(also: akkaye first real kiss. mlc alanwen divorce dinner / heartliming finger spiders. manner of death club kiss from e1. between us e9 rain hug. triage clock tower kiss. akk grabbing aye’s thigh.)

Favorite Line: i honestly think those stupid gmmtv jokes are hilarious (by bicycle, you will if i go). that said i’m going to nominate a recent one: pisaeng and his “when are you going to stop doing this”, for hurting me just so fucking bad

(eclipse only speed round: you’re allowed to be weak. i love you and i want you to love yourself. you can change, akk. why don’t you sit on akk’s lap? you’re my space. i love you, shortstop)

Most Anticipated BL & Why: i mean. if i give another answer than only friends youre all going to stare at me and say “rowan you wrote like 7k of raysan fic already dont lie to my face” and youll be right to do so

Healthiest Relationship in a BL: i agree with jay, but i want to nominate my beloved winteam, once they actually manage to talk to each other. consent! vulnerability! blatant pda! therapy!

Most Toxic Relationship: whatever sanray will be will take this spot for sure, but for now, the toddblack that could’ve been. so divorced you put each other in reciprocal comas 🥰

Guilty Pleasure Series: i …. like? …. love in the air. i despise love in the air. i lovehate love in the air. i feel an immense indescribable unnameable passion about love in the air. ive deleted multiple 1k+ essays about love in the air. i like skyrain and i mean that romantically. do you understand

some tags (if you want to play feel free to say i got you, too!): @troubled-mind, @chickenstrangers. warning this is Hard :(