#ive put so much time into this fic
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Does anyone else get distressed when their current WIP is close to being finished or is that just me? I have no clue what I'm going to do with myself once Anima Sola is finished-
#lord eclipse au#sun and moon show#anima sola#fanfic writing#chocolix rambling#ive put so much time into this fic#Its going to feel empty when I'm done with it#The end of this story is coming sooner rather than later#And I don't have a fic prepared to write after this
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House M.D. but it's when Wilson says House's name
#house md#james wilson#prince's talk tag#finally!!! it's done! this and the house version took almost two weeks to do#first off thank you to the clinic-duty team on livejournal for making the transcripts for these episodes#because this video would be near impossible to make without their clear transcripts. I hope y'all are doing well#ive been reading a lot of fics with these two and i see how the authors have the characters refer to each other in their fics#and that got me wondering how much do they say each other's name in the show and how do they refer to each other#since this is the wilson video ill put his stats here#s1 was 11 times s2 was 18 s3 was 45 s4 was 32 s5 was 41 s6 was 60 s7 was 47 and s8 was 48#in total he says his name 302 times. Mostly refers to him just by House#the only time I've heard him say his first name its when he's being professional or when he's really angry (and that one time he proposed)#and even then it's always the full name not just the first name#the only instance I've seen him use just his first name was on that note he put on House's xmas gift that we see in season 5#and as much as I wanted to put that moment in here he never actually says the contents of the note out loud so i had to leave it out#but what surprised me was he says House's name more than House says his name#especially when the earlier seasons didn't have him say his name as much
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Guess who had a little too much fun with the pathetic reincarnation AU idea :))
To summarize! WW gets reincarnated in a very distant future where humanity is more settled down in the planet. He remembers everything and decides to keep living his life as normally as he is able to. That is until he meets his neighbor when he moved to a new apartment.
(More below the cut)⬇️
He was an absolute weirdo of a guy who looked just like Vash in so many ways yet was so different in many others at the same time.
He pretends that his system isn’t going haywire every time he is around the man, the one that resembles someone he cared for so deeply in a life that wasn’t his but remembers all too well. He decides to pretend he doesn’t know Vash because he really doesn’t, not this one at least.
Meanwhile, Vash is going through a very trippy existential crisis for seeing Wolfwood again after what felt like dozens of centuries. This could clearly not be him however because, well, he knows why. So he pretends not to know him because wouldn’t that be weird if he acted like he did?
They avoid each other like the plague, the beautiful and horrible emotions that swarmed on their insides too much to bear just by the presence of the other. They could slip at any moment so it was better to evade the neighbor.
The thing here is, that life has never gone how they want it since ever.
#MANY IDEAS WAAAAA EXPLODING IMPLODING PLODING#It’s so funny to think about how fucked up these two are and put em in a sitcom kinda situation#I have much more sketched out but it’s gonna take some time because of how busy I am rn#this is something I did in my little spare time I gave to myself because oh I HAD to#I think of the sunglasses that Vash wears are that color bc they reminded him of WW ones and bought them on s whim#the red jacket is the stampede one since it’s design is more modern and fit much better for the whole environment!#and WW is shorter in this lifetime because I said so. fully on board with them being the same build#but for this. for this he has to look up at Vash and be hit with the I feel so Small now.#as in. intimidated. he’s afraid of Vash bc of how weird he acts around him it drives him nuts#Vash is much more imposing now somehow. most likely due to his ancient nature for that time but WW doesn’t know this ofc#I WANT TO SAY SO MUCH MORE WAAA NO MORE UNI AU AFTER THE FIC IS DONE#ITS THIS ONE IVE DECIDED.#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#wolfwood#vash#nicholas trigun#trigun fanart#trigun au#reincarnation au#lenssi draws#lenssi writes#im really enjoying scanning the mechanical pencil drawings I do. the texture is so crumchy
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wip of @watcheraurora's kings tide impulse and skizz because. i love them. left at an awkward place because i was kicked out of my moms room (where my ipad is plugged in) because she wanted to go to bed lmao
#i have drawn skizz' body. four times#at least his tail is there#its the part where hes putting sand over impulses tail#because i just loved that bit so much#king's tide#my art#fic art#if impulse's fishy bits look too much like a cod its because its the only fish ive ever learned how to draw#art wip#impulsesv#do i dare tag this skizz#when atm hes just a stickman#king's tide fic
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Oh, So much cat fur || L/A/DS Z/ayne x MC
I made an ao3 a bit ago. I've been a lurker on there since...idk...years, but. I'm going to uhh...i think post fics there too haha. may or may not see some crossposting. i'm being wild and it's also going to have regular fics (haha, that is if i decide i'm writing in the first place xD) there's one snz fic and one vanilla fic right now lol. Am i nervous? sure, but like- also i've lost it, idk. here we are. anyways. I'm so into LADS rn. here we are. i want to write more, but i always say that, write one thing, and disappear for another 5 months. maybe i'll change, who knows. I’m taking advantage of my motivation while I’ve got it rn
the portal, to...a fic in my ao3 lol. but i'll also put the fic here under the cut...because..why not?
Zayne, sneezing, because little kitty Zayne is choking on his own fur!!?? HUH!? OK SIR!?
======================
Zayne was always a neat and orderly person. It irked him that he was the cause of the copious amount of cat hair that was beginning to collect–on him and his furniture.
Ever since the bizarre event that had left him with cat ears and a long, fluffy tail, he had been doing his best to maintain his cleanliness. This was lasting longer than he had wistfully hoped.
He was shedding everywhere.
The elegant strands of his midnight fur that adorned his cat features had begun piling up, turning his couch and sheets a grayish hue. He practically ate cat hair with every meal now. If anyone had a pet that shed, they would understand.
Zayne had decided in order to lessen the amount of shed fur, he would brush his ears and tail three times a day. It was just about time to start his midday grooming session. He figured there should be enough time before you came over for lunch.
Oftentimes, if you spent the evening with him–whether it was in his office or in his apartment–he would let you brush him. It was soothing. He would just melt into your touch.
He got to work, grabbing his brush and finding a comfy space on the wood floors.
How long has it been since he’s vacuumed? He admitted to himself, he had begun to slack on the cleaning. It had gotten exhausting keeping up with the amounts of sweeping he had to do everyday and becoming a cat has made him more prone to naps these days. Therefore, his floors were gaining quite the collection of cat fur.
Zayne sighed slightly as he settled onto the floor in a cross legged position. However, no matter how gentle he sat down, it hadn’t stopped him from stirring up the stray strands of fur into the air. He started on his
With the precise motions of a surgeon, he ran the brush over his ears first. An attempt to ensure that each motion was controlled as to not let too much cat fur fly. The feeling was pleasant, he almost purred.
Strands of his soft black fur detached from the brush, regardless of his attempts, drifting lazily through the air.
He watched them float.
A small sigh left his lips. No matter how careful he was, the fur would go wherever it felt. The sun’s rays illuminated the fur flying through the air, accentuating how they floated gently before landing on his clothes, his floor–his face.
He gave a frustrated exhale from his nose, blowing the cat furs away from his nostrils. Then, he moved on to brushing his tail. He wasn’t a big fan of brushing his tail. It was a human scaled version of a maine coone’s tail, those of which were already long and fluffy. He swiftly moved the brush through his tail. Unlike his ears, this took more effort and these strands were more prone to flying wherever they felt like.
More and more fur lifted into the air, curling in invisible trails around him. It was like a mini cloud of cat fur always hung around him.
That’s when he felt it.
A faint, miniscule tickle on the tip of his nose. It was hardly worth acknowledging at first. Just a light sensation that teased the edges of his sinuses. His nostrils gave a tiny twitch, and then nothing.
Zayne continued brushing, doing his best not to acknowledge any sensations on his face. This of course, scattered more fur into the air around him. Not that it could be helped. Still, he refused to give into the growing irritation, or acknowledge the way his breath had begun to catch. He was still in control. He could do this.
He finally made it to the ends of his tail. The fullest, most luxurious part. It was beautiful, yet he cursed it. Although, you personally loved when he let you run your hands through it. He gave a few generous strokes, running the bristles through the fur with precision.
More and more fur detached, swirled through the air, landing everywhere.
His breath hitched. The tickle was beginning to settle in the back of his nose as he continued. He gave a particularly harsh tug on his next stroke as a knot had nestled itself deep in his fur. Big mistake on his end. A small plume of fur flew up into the air, curling directly into his face. He could feel each ticklish strand land on, around, and in his nose. The teased and tickled as he shakily inhaled.
“No, no, n-nhh…I d-don’t– don’t need to snihHh–sneeze–”
His nostrils flared, protesting the cat fur that tickled his nose. His breath hitched and stuttered, chest heaving. Fighting a losing battle, he finally raised his hand up to his nose. He wasn’t allergic to cat hairs, but his nose was quite sensitive to the touch.
At last, his breath caught.
“Hhh–hh’Tscht!” He pinched the first sneeze off behind his fingers. It was refined and quiet, yet it did not relieve him from the tickle that plagued his nose. Before he had time to think, his nose protested once again, and suddenly once became six times.
“Heh-’Tcht! –eH’Tcht! N–tchtt! ‘Tch! ‘Tch! ‘tchhh!” Zayne wasn’t going to stop anytime soon if he didn’t release his nose to expel the cat fur, but habits kept him from doing so. “ahH–...s-so tickly..s-stuhHh’tcht!! ehH’Tcht! S-stupid cat f-fur’TCHT! ehH–’Tcht!”
Each sneeze–albeit quite–harshly jerked his body and shook more cat fur into the air.
“Sh-hiH-iHt’Tgxt’ch! ah–Tchtt! hihH–heh’Tchht!”
His body repeatedly betrayed him as his nose gave in to the itch–even as he fought to suppress them. Somewhere in the midst, he heard his door unlock. ‘Oh no, they’re here already. How long hahH– has it b-been?’ With all the commotion from his nose he had forgotten you were coming over.
Soon, he heard the sound of your feet headed in his direction.
“Zayne? Are you… wh-what happened to you?” You tried to cover up your amusement by coughing to hide your laughter. Zayne tried his best to glare at you through his bleary eyes.
“T-too muhh’Tchh! hehH’TChh! Toomuchcatfur ahH–’TChh!!!” He stuttered out through the sneezes. “Hehh…I-I can’t s-stohH–p…”.
“Do you maybe think, you should, perhaps, take your hand off your nose? Stop stifling mayhaps? Or would you rather forever trap those tickly–”
“hehH–eH’DTZsh’iiihh!!” Even the mere word tickly made his nose burst. At least he finally let himself release the sneezes freely, “ahEhH’DZSH–iihhh!! eHEH’DSZHIew! heh’DZSH–IIHH–…hhh..”.
You clicked your tongue in feigned disappointment, “Kitty Zayne choking on his own fur?”
His ears flattened as he sniffled the mess back, rosy cheeks gave away his embarrassment. You gave him a cheeky smile as you pulled some tissues out of your back pocket. You held them out, nudging them towards his face as he still glared (lovingly) at you.
“This is n-not amuHh…amusing…hh…hH’iHhh–’Tschhh!” He sneezed again and hastily grabbed for the tissues. He blew his nose harshly in an attempt to evict any stray cat fur left in his nose.
“Well, I found it quite amusing,” You giggled as you plopped down on the floor right in front of him, “though you had me worried for a moment there when you wouldn’t open your door or respond to your phone.”
He looked back at you above the tissues as he examined the expression on your face. A look of both amusement and relief.
“I did…not mean to worry you. Apologies, my dear,” He sighed, his lips twitched into a small smile.
“It’s no worries! The scene I walked into made up for it. Imagine, me walking in, worried, just to find you sitting on the floor, sneezing your head off, surrounded by a cloud of your own fur–”
“OhH–no wh–y–heH’TSCHHH! eH’Tschh! eH’Tch! ‘tch–’tch–’tch…heh…haHh–e’Tschhhh! Why did you have to mention it again?” He once again blew his nose into the tissues. Though they were quite wet by now. You threw your head back, cackling.
“I’m sorry, Zayne!! I didn’t realize you were so suggestible!” Regardless of his embarrassment, your laughter was still music to his ears.
“Mhm…what will I ever do with you, hm?” He let out an amused sigh.
“Why don’t we settle onto the couch instead of going out today? Now seems like a perfect time for an afternoon nap, yeah?” You beamed as you reached to scratch his ears. Miraculously, your hand made it to his ears before he could stop you. He let out a small pur, which in turn caused his cheeks to turn a deeper shade of red.
“S-sounds good to me,” he finally replied after he let you scritch behind his ears. You knew he enjoyed that spot. You hummed happily and helped him up from the floor. Zayne followed without protest, unable to stop the small purrs that escaped his throat.
Moments later, the two of you were nestled together on his plush sofa. Zayne’s breaths were slow and steady, though a faint sniffle escaped him now and then. The sneezing had finally eased, leaving his little cat-self drowsy. His tail curled lazily over your legs and with each soft exhale, his ears would give a tiny flick. He was the first to doze off, with you not too far behind.
#mochiiwrites#l&/d/s#z/a/yne#snz#snzfic#sneeze fic#sneeze#idk if i actually have any art in the works#i feel like i have lots of long projects i'm working on that#is kinda more self fulfilling than anything#so will they ever see the light of day?#i hope so? but who knows#my job has taken over my life atm#i actually kinda hate being a software dev because i'm fullstack#and sorta just working 'back end'#but really i like front end#but coding just doesn't make sense anymore so i'm all stressed and i have to be on call from time to time#so yay more stress#anyways life updates from mochi in the tags lol#thats where ive been / what ive been up to#i still lurk from time to time just...not near as much motivation :')#just big stress from adulting yay#hhh existing is tiring#idk what to do anymore#maybe i'll go back to school and become an accountant#that would be an interesting plot occurance hm?#im losing my mind over code here haha#i am very very slowly putting art together to sometime over the next couple years at least make#a mockup of the snztome game xD#im so burnt out from work :'D my personal works progression is so scattered and unorganized
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thank you for the tags @firstprincehornyramblings & @thighzp <3
sharing something a little different today. i've wanted to translate one of my shorter fics into spanish forEVER but always get stuck and give up. but i'm feeling inspired by @jocarthage's arabic and english drabble so i decided to give it a shot.
who knows how long it will take me to finish but here's a bit of baby, it's alright, my nora's pov of caulfield fic, en español
Ella sueña. No hay nada por ella aquí, entonces ella duerme, y piensa en las cosas buenas una y otra vez para que no las olvide. Oasis, antes de Jones. Los árboles, las flores, el cielo. Tripp, cuando no se duele demasiado pensar en su cara. Louise, segura y feliz, sonriendo y bailando con Roy. Walt, su cara dulce y sus abrazos cariñosos. A veces ella se pregunta dónde está Walt ahora. Ella piensa en él feliz y saludable con una familia que le ama. Sonriendo en el campo de las girasoles. Bailando cerca de la mesa.
no pressure tagging @lostcol @bigassbowlingballhead @basil-bird @stratocumulusperlucidus @taste-thewaste
@onward--upward @rewritetheending @jbarneswilson @onthewaytosomewhere @firenati0n
@catdadacd @insecuregodcomplex @faketrex @jocarthage @beautifulcheat
@cha-melodius @sheepywritesfics <3
#grace writes#or translates i guess :)#my spanish is shit compared to what it used to be as i havent had much opportunity to use it since we moved#so i welcome any feedback or suggestions as ive lost a lot of my sort of ingrained or instinctual knowledge of grammar and a lot of my voca#i used to be pretty fluent but now i sound like an idiot when i speak#on my long long list of things id like to put more time towards is more language learning and reinforcement#but this will be a fun exercise and hopefully i can come out with something understandable at least#rnm fic#en español#present progressive still fucks me up#i feel like i understand when to use it vs not when writing and speaking#but im struggling to translate it bc we use it a lot more in english that you do in spanish#so i keep going back and forth
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i present; my first viewing of MASH, heavily condensed
all said by me in a server with my friends where they give me a channel where only i speak, because i speak to much
feat; a snip from a real story about alan alda that my anthro professor told me [story happened around the time the movie The Aviator was in the casting stage]
#needed to do something to give me a break from bj's hair. im not kidding#this man is too fluffy its taking all my blood sweat and tears#ive committed i cant back out now but god am i full of regret#mash#mash 4077#hawkeye pierce#mashblogging#bj hunnicutt#charles emerson winchester iii#father mulcahy#m*a*s*h#my professor was so excited to tell that story man. 40ish and he fuckin loves mash so much#and it seems like people hadnt recognized alan alda in previous years because he LIT UP when i answered#cause he put a picture of him up to intro the story and asked if we knew him#a great time. amazing#urge to dust off my quill and write a fic for the first time in years solely to use the termite line
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you know rocks fall; scene end by RK7200? no? go read it and thank me later :)
Kakashi is back in the past, he is supposed to be dead. Instead, he has been given Uchiha Obito's script. or: There’s an Akatsuki member called Sukea who is mystifyingly familiar to Team Minato.
#fic rec#obkk#kakashi hatake#obito uchiha#im not exaggerating when i say its the best story ive read so far and ive read a lot of things over the years#the writing style really resonates with me and the plot is just *chefs kiss*#like it doesn’t happen often that i read something that isnt sns but this fic and like oil for leather are really worth the time#and sadly time is scarce for me at the moment so im not reading as much as i used to#there is such a big pile of fics im behind on. not counting how many comments i yet have to write. but.#yknow slowly but surely i will work my way through#perhaps im going to rec a few more fics while doing so!#there are so many authors who arent getting enough attention for the work they put out there for others to consume. for free!#so here's your little reminder to let authors know that you like their stuff! :)
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Penciled Lines
(Cross-posted on ao3, if you prefer to read it there. Reblogs still appreciated!)
Missa wakes up, and he thinks he might be doomed. This doesn’t scare him nearly as much as it should.
Missa is awake early—by his own metric, anyway. His nocturnal nature causes “early” for him to mean “early night” and not “early morning.” Regardless, “early” means that Philza is not asleep yet, still going through his nightly rituals. “Early” means that Philza is sitting up in (his? their?) the bed, pillows propped up behind him, notebook in his lap, sketching away.
And when Missa wakes up to the soft scritch-scratch of a charcoal pencil on textured paper, his forehead just so happens to be brushing Philza’s hip.
Missa can hardly breathe.
Oh no.
He knows that if he gives any indication that he is awake, Philza will stop sketching, close his notebook, shift himself over until he is politely seated on his side of the bed, and greet Missa with a friendly smile. Philza has done it before, when Missa wakes up early. That’s how Missa knows he’ll do it again.
Thus, Missa can hardly breathe—his breaths have to be the slow in-out of sleep. He can’t so much as twitch, either. He has to keep quiet and play dead or else he’ll be found out. Seen. Caught living the lie.
“Husband,” Philza calls him. They’re not married. They share a bed. They’re hardly ever in it at the same time. They have a son and a daughter. Neither of them know Missa very well. Philza has had an extra set of armor and a skull on his backpack for months, waiting for Missa. Missa doesn’t even know Philza’s last name.
Philza is a good man and a good friend—and Missa doesn't deserve him. Still, he takes what he can get. Curls around it. Hoarding every innocent kindness Philza extends like a starving creature: the generosity of a backpack fully stocked with equipment; the trust Philza places in Missa to watch the kids when he’s asleep; and now, the courtesy of not moving his hip from Missa’s forehead to ensure his “sleeping” isn’t disturbed. Missa clutches all of these little offerings in his greedy claws and hugs them into his chest, even as the guilt eats away at him.
Because, regardless of the lack of mutual feeling, he loves Philza. He loves him so, so much, and that is why he is doomed. He can’t afford to lose what little he has. He can’t cross that line.
So Missa lies beside Philza, forehead pressed against Philza’s hip, pretending to sleep so he can imagine that they’re not just lying in bed together, but lying in bed, together; and later, when Missa truly wakes, he will sit on his side of the bed and look at Philza’s face soft with sleep and think about how lucky he is that he still has a side-of-the-bed to begin with.
Missa doesn’t mean to drift off. When it starts to happen, he’s hopelessly torn between shaking himself awake and thus giving himself away, or remaining how he is, silently fending off the inevitable. In the end, Missa clings to that scritch-scratch sound of Philza’s pencil on the paper for as long as he can before the fog at last pulls him under.
Eventually, he dreams. In fact, he dreams of the calloused fingers he dreams of every night, hands like his own, an artist of Death, cradling and shading the contours of his face—a softness dashing charcoal across his jaw, and over his cheekbones, and perhaps on his lips, too, if he’s lucky. Defining every edge of him.
~*~
A deep sigh. Phil stops sketching as Missa shifts in his sleep. He tilts his head up so that the tip of his nose is now just nearly brushing against Phil’s hip. The motion disturbs the wild splay of his dark hair, revealing more of his face: eyelashes, cheeks, warmth. Tender blush of something Stygian and otherworldly. New.
Phil’s lips tilt upwards. He turns to a fresh page, and he starts again.
#qsmp#pissa#qsmpshipping#qsmp missa#qsmp philza#i hesitate to put main character tags bc it's shipping content but i think we're all p much okay with that?? we chill??? we chill thumbsup#my fics#ficlet#anyway would you believe me if i told you this took me a week to write. hhourgh.#i'll prolly make small edits as time goes by if i dont scrap this version entirely.#i really like it rn but we'll see how i feel abt it in like a couple hours or a day. the sheer number of times ive rewritten this hhhhh.#this little character/relationship study is primarily for me to try to work them out in my head.#so if this doesnt quite hit the exact vibe you know why.#im still getting acquainted w missa's character but i gotta start somewhere ya know#i didnt actually get to explore missa's feelings of inferiority as much as i wanted to but thats bc i found trying to tackle that As Well-#-as everything else saddled the fic/setting w too many Things and made it cumbersome and muddied the story being told.#so another time perhaps.#anyway i adore them. beloveds.
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writing a fic abt rick having an ed bcs why would i recover when i can just project all my issues onto fictional old men in cartoons and pretend everythings better now ‼️
tw eating disorder, minor self harm and vomit near the end
Morty stopped in the open doorway of the garage, watching Rick who was sat scribbling down some kind of invention idea, or equation, or whatever it was he did when Morty wasn't around, for all Morty knew he might well be writing fanfiction.
An involuntary smile pulled at his lips at the idea of his almost 70 year old genius grandfather spending his free time writing silly little stories at his work bench. What would he even write? Ball Fondlers fanfic? Maybe he wrote about his stoic bird friend, Rick had always been touchy with him and Rick wasn't touchy with anyone.
When Morty focused back on Rick he wasn't writing anymore, the slightly crumpled piece of paper shoved to the side as he fiddled with what looked like a small metal box with a bunch of brightly coloured wires poking out of the sides. A small spark shot out of one of the wires Rick was holding and he cursed loudly, shaking his hand.
"Fuck, Morty, are you just gonna– gonna stand there, or are you gonna pass me the fucking, uh– the thing."
Rick waved his hand in the general direction of the shelf nearest to Morty, but there were so many assorted trinkets on the shelves, Morty had no idea if Rick wanted a wrench, or a hammer, or one of his laser guns, maybe the box was like a new battery for them?
"W-what thing, Rick?"
"The thing, Morty! The fucking– the uh, destornillador."
"What? Rick, I don't know what that means. W-w-what is that?"
"Jeez, Morty, what are they teaching you at that crap school you love so much?" Rick scowled, tossing the box to the side and getting up to grab the screwdriver himself.
"I havent been to school in like a month, Rick!" Morty exclaimed. "And even then I only got to stay for like an hour before you were dragging me out again!"
"Whatever." Rick said with a burp, "School's dumb, Morty. I'll teach you Spanish myself. B-but, uh, not now."
He turned back to his box, done with the conversation, but Morty stayed hovering in the room, remembering what he had come for in the first place.
"Okay, um, w-w-well lunch is ready."
"I'm busy."
Morty sighed, having expected that answer already. "When's the last time you ate, Rick? Or slept? Or... showered?" Morty said, wrinkling his nose a little.
Rick ignored him, pulling at a blue wire.
"Rick!" Morty frowned.
"What, Morty? J-jesus christ, what the fuck do you want?"
"I want you to have lunch with the family."
"And I said no, so screw off."
"Rick, come on, it would make mom so happy."
Rick glared at him, not bothering with an answer.
"...Wouldn't y-you do it for your original Beth if you could?" Morty tried.
Rick slammed the box on the table, causing the thin metallic shell to crack, sparks flying from it, the sudden noise making Morty jump.
"The fuck did you just say?" Rick snarled.
"S-s-sorry!" Morty squeaked. "I didn't m-mean– mean it in a bad way!"
"Get the fuck out." Rick said icily, eyes blazing.
Morty stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him to the sound of something crashing. Probably Rick throwing the damaged box across the room.
Morty winced. In his defense he was worried about Rick, and sometimes, depending on his mood, something like that would've gotten Rick to cave, clearly he wasn't feeling so sentimental today, more annoyed and angry.
"What was that about?"
Morty startled a little and turned to see Summer looking at her phone behind him.
"Just, y'know, Rick being... Rick."
"Mhm, pro tip, don't bring up his dead daughter to try and blackmail him into something he hates." Summer drawled. "You can only do that if he's already half convinced, or if he's feeling especially depressed sometimes.
"Summer! That's– that's messed up!"
She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, so only you can manipulate grandpa Rick?" Summer scoffed. "God forbid women do anything." She said sarcastically and turned to walk away.
"Wait!" Morty fidgeted with his hands. "Can you... help me? To get him to have lunch w-with us? Please?"
"Yes, but not now. He's already upset so if we double down on trying to get him to eat he's only gonna clam up."
Morty nodded. "I know that– but how do you? You don't spend as much time with Rick as I do."
"Because he's like mom. Who do you think got her to stop drinking before parent-teacher conferences at school?"
"Wow. That's pretty fucked up that you had to do that, though, y'know, Summer."
"Yeah, well, we're the Smiths, Morty. Is anyone in this house not disordered?"
Morty winced at the blunt statement, Rick really was rubbing off on her. But it was kind of true.
"Guess it runs in the family." He muttered
"Guess it does."
---
Morty hadn't been planning on seeing Rick again until the next day. He knew that when Rick got upset he needed his space. Morty didn't quite get it because when he was upset all he wanted was for someone to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay, but Rick wasn't like him he supposed.
If he was being honest it made him nervous to leave Rick alone in those bad headspaces he got into. Rick was volatile and unpredictable and a borderline danger to himself and often others. He'd walked in on a couple... compromising situations where Rick had had to explain away why he was passed out in his chair or why there was blood on his hands and his lab coat despite being the only person in the room.
Morty pretended to believe him when he said he had been doing a messy dissection experiment or that "This isn't blood, this is Balorkian dust I mixed with red Squanchenite fluid from Planet Squanch, Morty." But truthfully those moments haunted him.
However, he didn't want to invade Rick's space, so he let him be and tried to eat and sleep until Rick emerged like nothing had happened, even though Morty knew what habits of his went on behind those closed doors.
Of course Morty's patience had it's limits, like when two hours after he had left Rick in the garage, angry, there was the sound of something smashing, closely followed by an unmistakable sound that Morty had grown too familiar with since Rick had moved in. The sound of a body thudding to the ground.
He was up from the sofa in a flash, at the garage door before Summer could even put down her phone, flinging it open.
He felt like he couldn't breathe, but the only sight that greeted him was a smashed bottle and rick lying on the floor next to it, not looking any more dead than usual, looking up at Morty blearily, cracking a smile.
"Oh, hi Morty. H-hey buddy." He slurred, clearly drunk out of his mind.
"Jesus fucking christ, Rick." Morty said weakly.
"What happened?" Summer breathed, now standing at his side.
"He's just drunk." Morty muttered, wrinkling his nose at the overpowering smell that he hadn't registered before between his state of panic and shallow breathing.
Summer ventured into the garage, picking up an empty bottle and sniffing it. "God, grandpa Rick, what the hell are you drinking in here, fucking rubbing alcohol?"
"Sum-Sum! 'M just having some– some fun drinks. Fun drinks just a lil' bit. Besides I only ever drank rub-rubbin' alcohol once, n' it was– tasted like shit."
"What? I was being sarcastic, why would you drink that?"
"Because I was sad... was sad 'nd lonely after B-b-blood Ridge, couldn't find anythin' else. But 'm not s-sad now."
"What's Blood Ridge?" Summer frowned, "Actually it doesn't matter right now, you need to sober up."
"Get him some water," Morty interjected. "I'll clean up the glass. I also know where he keeps all his hangover serums and stuff, but he told me not to let you into any of his drug stashes."
"Fair enough." Summer shrugged, leaving to get Rick some much needed water.
While she was gone, Morty felt along the wall until he found the small hidden panel under Rick's desk. He fished out the light blue vial of fluid for hangovers, the red one he'd forced Rick to make that would sober him up and a green one that basically equivalated to getting your stomach pumped if you took it, just in case he'd taken more than just alcohol.
He shut the panel securely and placed the three coloured vials on Rick's work bench, grabbing a purple tube-like gadget from a shelf. He pressed a button on the back of it and typed in "Broken Glass" on a small hologram keyboard that emerged, then pressed that first button again. A blue ray shot out, scanning the garage, and the pieces of smashed bottle disappeared in a matter of seconds.
Morty looked over at Rick, who was still lying on the floor, but now he was tracing his fingers along a crack in the cold ground, his expression so solemn he almost looked sober.
"Rick?" Morty asked hesitantly.
"I miss her." He said flatly. "I miss her s-so much."
His words were still a little slurred but his tone had lost all the previous levity.
"I tried to save her, Morty, I t-t-tried, but I couldn't bring her back. And no one could ever replace her." A rough sob escaped his throat. Morty felt frozen. "I'm a crappy fuckin'– piece of shit father but I didn't want to be. I was gonna fuckin' give– give up everything for them, and I would've been happy. I would've been so happy as long as I had them, but he fuckin' took that from me! I nnever even got a chance."
Rick was crying, he was crying so hard that his tears stained the concrete dark grey and snot ran down his face sideways. He was shaking like a leaf and gasping for air.
Morty crouched down next to him, fists clenching and unclenching, unsure if he should hug Rick, or if that would make it worse. What else could he do?
"Oh– oh shit, Rick, I–"
"My little girl, my baby." Rick continued between sobs. "She meant everything to me. S-so yeah, I would be better f-for her if I could, but she's gone. There's no point."
Rick's sudden fit of violent sobs was calming down, replaced by a look that Morty could only describe as pure hoplessness and defeat washing over his features.
"'S no point in anything."
Shit, this was bad. Rick didn't admit defeat, and he certainly didn't talk so openly about his feelings like this.
"Aw jeez, Rick, come on don't– don't– don't say that. we killed Rick Prime, remember?" Morty said, wringing his hands anxiously.
"Yeah, I remember." Rick said, tone now devoid of emotion. "I remember killin' him with my bare hands, watchin' the life drain out of his eyes as his blood dripped down my fists. And I remember nothing changing. W-w-what d'ya do when you achieve your life long goal and nothin's better? It didn't bring them back, it didn't– didn't give me closure or give me a reason to live. I still can't sleep, petrified he's in the fucking house, comin' for my new family, that he'll kill all of you to teach me that t-that's what happens when I-I care about people."
Rick wiped his face with his lab coat sleeve, rubbing away the snot, drool and dried tears while Morty just kneeled next to him, frozen and unsure what to say.
"Rick..." he started but then Summer stepped through the doorway and Rick's demeanour instantly changed.
"Summerfest!" he called out and Morty watched, a little shocked, as Rick's whole face changed in the blink of an eye, going back to the cheerful, goofy expression he'd been wearing when he and Summer first came in. It didn't look artificial to Morty at all, even now that he knew it was. How could Rick just switch it on and off just like that?
"I brought water and coffee." Was all Summer said, placing two mugs on the workbench. "And a cereal bar."
The second statement sounded a little more unsure and Morty could've sworn he saw Rick's jaw clench for a second.
"Gimmie coffee." Rick said, making grabby hands, still lying on the floor.
"Water first." Summer replied, handing him the larger of the two mugs.
Rick pouted a little but as soon as the mug was in his hands he drank thirstily, finishing the whole thing in one go.
"You want more?" Summer asked, taking the mug, but he just shook his head quietly.
"Okay," Morty cleared his throat when his voice came out a little shaky. "drink this."
He handed Rick the red 'get sober' vial and Rick chugged it obediently, making a face. "Tastes like– like shit." He offered.
While he seemed a little calmer after the water and serum, his eyes were still unfocused and his voice sounded thick, like his tongue didn't fit in his mouth properly, hints of his accent were slipping through too.
"Did you- are you on drugs r-right now?" Morty asked, reaching for the green vial of serum.
"Maybe." Rick mumbled. His eyelids were starting to droop a little and he curled up more comfortably on the floor.
"Hey, Rick, don't go to sleep okay? What did you take?" Summer asked, crouching down next to him, shaking him a little. He groaned. "Come on, we just have to make sure you're not overdosing and then you can sleep. Maybe not on the floor."
"'M not overdosing." Rick grumbled.
"What did you take?"
"I dunno. Just some random alien drugs I found i-in my pocket." He said dismissively with a burp. "Actually one of 'em was probably adderall. Look at me bein' all responsible an-and takin' my meds n' shit."
He of course immediately showed his 'responsibilty' by gagging and then throwing up on the floor.
Morty winced, reaching for the purple device again while Summer tried to coax him into drinking the green liquid, frowning deeply.
Finally Rick gave in, sipping from the small vial, and almost instantly his eyes began to clear up a little bit.
"Why'd I make these work so well?" He groaned. Then, "My head is killing me, I want coffee."
Summer passed him the second mug and he gestured toward the hangover serum, which Morty promptly passed to him and Rick poured it in his coffee.
He gulped down half the coffee and sighed, wiping his mouth with his already rather dirty sleeve. "Fuck, that's better."
He downed the rest of it and placed the mug on the ground, getting to his feet shakily. He swayed and nearly fell, leaning onto the wall to steady himself as the dizzy spell passed, and then stretched, his back cracking loudly.
He took a few wobbly steps towards the door but Summer blocked the way.
"Fuck– fuck off Summer I gotta– I'm gonna go take a nap."
"Could you maybe eat something first?" She asked firmly, holding up the cereal bar.
"No."
Rick tried to sidestep her but she blocked the way again.
"Summer, don't fucking piss me off right now, I'm serious."
She stood her ground. "Just eat the cereal bar, grandpa Rick. Please."
"Summer, for fuck's sake, I said no!"
"Grandpa," She sighed, the arm holding the bar dropping defeatedly back down to her side. "Do you have an eating disorder?"
The garage was deathly quiet for a second.
"Wha-What?! I'm not a teenage girl in a f-f-f– goddamn netflix drama, Summer." Rick snarled. "What the fuck kinda question is that?"
He gestured wildly, taking another step forwards, which quickly seemed to be the wrong option as a sudden wave of dizziness hit him hard, making him almost loose his balance. He blindly tried to grab onto the back of his chair somewhere behind him, but missed and fell on his ass.
"Rick!" Morty and Summer both rushed to his side, Morty's eyes beginning to well up a little from all the stress of the day.
"I'm fine, don't– don't fucking touch me." He said, shaking Summer's hand off his shoulder, which caused another wave of nausea to hit.
"Please eat this." Summer said nervously, voice shaking as she pushed the cereal bar into his left hand, his right one gripping at his hair.
"Summer, I promise you if I eat that shit right now I'm gonna throw the fuck up."
"Please?" Morty pouted, eyes big and teary.
All it took was one look at him, and with only a brief moment of hesitation Rick snatched the cereal bar from Summer, muttering angrily under his breath.
Morty only caught "Me cago en la puta." and "Maldito cabrón." which he more or less understood, more familiar with swear words than any other words in the Spanish language.
Rick peeled away the wrapper slowly with unsteady hands and took a small bite.
Morty and Summer watched in silence, not wanting to discourage him by saying the wrong thing—which with Rick could be anything—as Rick uncomfortably ate the cereal bar.
"There you fucking go." He said weakly, Throwing the now empty wrapper at Summer, but missing as it was too light to travel more than a couple centimetres, landing somewhere by his feet.
"Thank you." Summer almost whispered.
They sat in silence for a while, Morty sniffling and rubbing at his eyes and Summer shuffling a bit closer to him for both of their comfort.
Rick was sitting with his knees losely bent and his head braced in his hands, trying to overcome another hit of nausea.
He wouldn't exactly say he tried super hard to keep the cereal bar down, but it wasn't deliberate when he vomited it down the front of his shirt.
"Oh! Aw jeez..." Morty winced.
"I did warn you."
"In our defense, you had every reason to be lying to us."
"Fuck you, Summer." It sounded weak even to his own ears.
She sighed softly.
"Morty, get his shirt off. Do you have pijamas or do you sleep in jeans and a lab coat?"
"Jeans an-and a lab coat."
"...I was joking, but okay." Summer said, flipping the switch that opened Rick's garage closet and grabbing one of his sets of identical outfits.
Rick squirmed, making noises of complaint as Morty tried to take off his current shirt.
"Rick– stay still, you have vomit on your clothes."
"I'm not fucking two years old, Morty." He scowled. "I can change by myself."
Rick tried to sit up but wobbled and then slumped back against the wall, needing more time to recover. Morty reached for his shirt again and this time Rick let him pull it carefully up over his head without resisting. Morty took the new set of clothes from where Summer had left them on the floor next to him.
Summer wasn't looking but Morty still shielded Rick's body from sight with his own, pointedly not mentioning the raised scars and jagged, angry, red cuts littering his arms which he had already suspected would be there.
Rick shifted uncomfortably, seeming relieved when Morty didn't want to talk about it.
"Okay." Morty said, helping Rick pull on his clean lab coat too.
"I'm going to bed." Rick grumbled, not waiting for him to continue, just getting up slowly.
He felt weak and shaky and his brittle old bones weren't exactly helping out. Despite his thousands of cybernetic implants he was still human, much to his dismay, and he couldn't treat his body as badly as he did when he was 30. Not that that ever seemed to stop him, managing to still maintain the same shitty habits he'd had for years at the ripe age of 67.
He stumbled through the dining room, Morty and Summer trailing after him, not discouraged by the glare he sent their way.
As soon as he reached his room, he slumped onto his bed with a groan.
"R-rick?"
"Fuck off, Morty." He snapped into his pillow, a little muffled by it.
Morty hesitated, exchanging a glance with Summer, who shrugged.
"...Ookay, Rick. Uh, see– see you at dinner, today? maybe?'
"Don't count on it."
Summer frowned, Starting to say something, but Rick interrupted, "I'm gonna apply my room's Lock Protocols in ten seconds, so i-if you're still in here, I'm not letting you out until I'm done sleeping. A-a-and if you're standing in the doorway, you're gonna get fucking squashed in the doors."
"Whatever, Rick, fuck you too." Summer huffed, pulling Morty out of the doorway with her.
"Room, activate Sensory Protocol 2. And t-tell Summer to go fuck herself."
"Sensory Protocol 2 activated." Came the mechanical voice and a heavy metal door snapped shut. "Go fuck yourself, Summer."
Summer scoffed. "Dick." Followed by a sigh. "What are we gonna do?"
"I-I don't know." Morty admitted. "There's not much we can do if Rick won't accept help. And he won't."
"So what? We just give up on him?" Summer asked accusingly, putting her hands on her hips.
"No, Summer, J-jeez. I just– We're gonna have to get creative."
"Fuck."
---
thats it thats the end i didnt know how tf to end this but my goal wasnt to rewrite like the bible idfk it was just to put rick through shit and put completely unfair expectations on summer and mortys shoulders so that they could ALL suffer in this fic !! :3 also this is so mf long i sincerely apologise if u read all that
#i feel like all the few rnm fics ive written are set in the garage im sorry 😭#thats where rick mostly is when hes not out in other dimensions tho ig#also even tho my fics r all rick centric i cant not have my boy morty in them#i just love him too much#also obligatory birdrick mention in the start bcs theyve been on my mind#also in regards to is anyone in this house not disordered let my drop my smith sanchez family disorder hcs >:)#okayyy#so starting off strong with beth: an alcoholic like her father probably anxiety stemming from her abandonment issues and possibly depressio#next up my boy morty: anxiety also and most likely ptsd from all the shit hes experienced ik a lot of ppl hc him as autistic but i dont#possibly adhd dyslexia or dyscalculia tho or all of the above idk#oookay next up jerry: i really spend incredibly little time thinking about jerry so idk im open to hearing hcs abt him tho#wait back to beth: maybe also ocd or smth like that#okay now summer: my girl has a lot of substance abuse issues as we see and fomo but idk if anything else maybe social anxiety or smth#aaand its rick time: alcohol and drug abuse definitely ptsd for sure depression and autism possibly adhd or bpd or both#in this fic he has an ed also so that#paranoia too#and thats it i think#also going back to the topic ofautism tho#i just cannot see it with morty at all like he shows no symptoms?? i dont see them at least idk i could be wrong#i honestly see it more with beth or summer maybe#but idk#also i almost never put the accents when i write in spanish lol but i did so#vey professional of me ik#gotta let rick say cabron properly#alex says shit#rick and morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#summer smith#rick and morty fanfiction
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happy bday paul <3
#so much love in my heart for him#hope he has a great bday#and that his 20th year brings him loads of happiness and success#honestly these were all just random gifs that i made towards the end of the season and that have been forgotten in my drafts#and now i remembered them and went “well now i have an excuse to post them”#so here we are#the gifs w rene look like theyve been sped up but i promise i didnt#some are slowed down though#hiM LEANING HIS HEAD ON RENES SHOULDER hes adorable#also the top middle and bottom middle..... forgot to put those in my hair post#the bounce 😭 dang#the macau moments are so dear to me :( his last time in prema#for now#hopefully will also post the paul short fic today 🤞 ive been away for handball all weekend but im gonna go on a 3 hour train back home and#probs will be able to finish it by then#yay#paul aron#f2#hitech gp#prema racing
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re: the last post i reblogged bc i am realizing just how much i yapped in the tags and i do not wish to subject the wider tumblr public to that rant LMAO
#copying the tags bc it is very much a tag rant#bros. truly it has been nothing but a wonderful time here#perhaps even the most enjoyable time i have ever had in a fandom despite being here for like 3 months tops#(bc i'm actually posting stuff and interacting with people for once but i digress)#but i cannot deny. being part of a smaller quieter fandom after coming from some of the larger ones on here has me scratching at the walls#guy on the left was me in september where everything was new to me and i had all this wonderful fanwork to go through. autism heaven#guy on the right. me rn. please do not ask me how many times i have refreshed the tags on both here and ao3. it's ungodly#has me doing things like (on top of actually interacting with people) rereading fics. long ones. which i have done before. twice?#out of many years of reading#i've hunted down nice long fics older than me (also never done before) (because none of my other fandoms are older than me but still)#[edit nvm i remembered there was exactly one fandom i've dipped my toes in that is also older than me so ive definitely read some fics#from there that were Aged. didnt hunt those down tho it just happened. edit over]#but i've put off reading them bc like. what if they don't get them like we do yknow. what if they write something and it's Wrong#perhaps a terrible thing to think of them because what i can tell their writing is very high quality but still..#every day i consider rereading welcome to the panopticon on ao3 and one day the demons will take over and i will be reading all 88k words#once more. among other fics#congrats to these guys they truly have consumed me and i fear it is terminal#kit yap session
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right it's only recently hit me that the biggest set of exams that i'll ever take (eleven subjects with at least two papers each, fuck my life D:) are in four months and i am nowhere near ready, so i'm probably going to be a lot slower with updating my writing
so if you're reading only a day away (first of all, i appreciate you so much!!) i'm going to write some more tonight and maybe tomorrow, but after that my Revision PlanTM kicks in and i'm probably going to vanish for the forseeable future
i'll do my best to be somewhat consistent, but i can't guarantee anything - i just want to be clear here so people aren't left without an explanation
#i sat down last night and planned out my revision until my mocks in march because i was feeling physically nauseous with fear#thinking about gcses and ive not got that much spare time for writing#but i know that i made a commitment to the story by posting it so i want to set the record straight with everyone#hope you guys dont mind but i really need to make sure i do well#my schools standards are absurdly high so i need to put the work in to keep up with them#once im only studying three subjects its over for you all i'll be unstoppable#but for now the english education system is crushing me#so thats whats happening#wish me luck :(#shoot from the fic#sfth#<- just tagging bc its a sfth fic and i want anyone who found it through the tag to be able to see this and know whats going on
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it is so funny to see other people who go with the O'Briens polycule thing but its clearly just an excuse for them to sideline Keiko and ignore her and ship Julian/Miles without guilt. like you ship this polycule cause of misogyny. I ship this polycule because I am blessed with divine visions. we are not the same
#star trek: ds9#ot3: o'briens + 1#keiko o'brien#miles o'brien#julian bashir#yall have no idea how much thought ive put into the O'Briens polycule#I dont even think all that much about the Miles/Julian part of it#like I do think about it they are making out#but I think a lot about Julian/Keiko#criminal that we didnt get them interacting more#see my headcanons post about them I love THEMMM#also I think so much about Julian and the kids#I have spent a considerable amount of time thinking about Julian and Molly's dynamic#theres a fic that exists in my head about them
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because im curious
#vote and reblog 😠#my answer is mostly to jork it but sometimes it depends on the day#i have been reading so much smut the last few days (im on my period + kinktober + its all tumblr recommends)#but like so many smut fics read the exact same like they have the same exact beats the same actions the same everythings#like i cant read most of my smut fics bc i hate how they feel so copy pasted like i wish i put more effort into them#anyway i just wonder why they all seem so samey when like if im reading this to jork it its kind of repetitive#and if im reading this for the story ive already read this same exact thing tons of times#the real answer is smut is the only thing that gets any notes worth value so its easier for me to just write whatever smut yall want#instead of spending four months working on a masterpiece only to get like 22 likes and 1 reblog with no tags#but also like . i read the smuts . yeah a lot of them are very similar but i am reading them .#anyway im just curious + am working on smut fic so i want to know what readers think i suppose#obviously none of the things are bad like im not judging fic writers or asking for anything im just making observations like thats it#like im mostly judging myself plus i realize this is simply my experience and is not an overall truth yap yap yap#do i make sense. do u understand me.
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This is my personal crossover event of the century
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#one of my favorite actors and one of my favorite drivers interacting??? what???#alright whos gonna be the brave soldier and write the matt damon × mark webber rpf fic-#(i read a fic w james bond/seb so imo it really wouldnt be too far off to write Linus Caldwell/Mark LMAO)#ive known abt this event practically since i got into f1 but i feel like my thoughts abt it keep developing every time i look at them again#first time: huh okay wow brad pitt & matt damon taking w mark thats really wild. f1 drivers really do be meeting w high level celebs#after i watched fight club: wow wow!! i cant believe theres pics of brad pitt with mark thats crazy!#after i watched oceans 11: omg wait oh yeah! when mark was in jaguar he was sponsored by oceans 12!!! thats sick!!!#and then recently w my increasing love for Matt Damon: WAIT OH MY GOD MARK HAS INTERACTED WITH MATT!!!! (two worlds colliding feel ig)#but i was watching some interview w matt where they referenced this happening so its relevant in my brain again so i had to post abt it#but of course in the vid the specific pic on screen was him and mark interacting and i died. like seriously i can never escape f1 and mark#mostly im freaking out bcs its truly the crossover event of all time concerning my interests specifically#but the lore behind this is genuinely really really interesting#the fact that theyre promoting a heist movie specifically and then they put a $300k diamond in the nose of the Jaguar#and then the Jaguar crashed during the race and the diamond disappeared?????? cmon literally itself could be the plot to an Oceans movie#RBR/teams sponsored by RB were so much fun back in the day!!#they had several back to back movie promotions which all were pretty fun! just a shame neither team was good back then#it was Oceans 12->SW:ROTS->Superman right? i can't remember if there was another#such a shame that neither mark nor seb were in RBR in 2005 when RBR was promoting ROTS#i think i actually wouldve exploded if there were pics of them w hayden or ewan(my prev fandom haha)#f1#formula 1#formula one#mark webber#matt damon
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