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watarfallar · 2 months ago

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Incorrect quotes because I'm worried about how many people are gonna lose their last life this session

Pearl: How do you do that? Tango: I'm fearless. Scott: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. Tango: I'm mostly fearless.

Jimmy: Hi- Martyn: Leave before there's a terrible misunderstanding between my foot and your ass.

BigB: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch. Cop: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with. BigB: Lmao, @ Impulse.

Etho as a child: I can’t wait to grow up and have cool adventures! Etho now: I can’t wait to go to bed.

Scar: I don’t even use tubberware anymore. Skizz: What are you saying? Say it again. Scar: Tubberware. Skizz: Say it again. Slow. Scar: Tubberware. Skizz: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable. Scar: Tub. Skizz: Wrong. Scar: What do you mean, wrong? Skizz: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P. Scar: What are you talking about? Skizz: Tupperware. Tupper. Scar: It’s tupper! Skizz: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be. Scar: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.

Scott: Why are you doing this? Cleo: Same reason I do everything, Scott. To get somebody to like me.

Joel: Do you even know what an amulet is? Grian: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions! Joel: Grian, those are omelettes. Grian: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

Pearl: Guys it’s a shooting star, let’s make a wish! Mumbo: I wish for good grades. Etho: Nerd. Mumbo: Nevermind, I wish upon the shooting star to fall down at a 30° velocity aiming for Etho. :) Pearl: Mumbo…

Martyn: *pulls back the curtain while Jimmy is showering* Martyn: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Lizzie, about Joel: Can I tell them they look nice? Cleo: Sure. Lizzie: Can I tell them I respect them? Cleo: Maybe, if they ask. Lizzie: Should I show them an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs? Cleo: … Cleo: I’d save that for later.

Grian, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. Jimmy: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Grian: I have depression, what do you think?

Pearl: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.

Bdubs: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? Cleo: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. Gem: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. BigB: Rock also defeats baby.

BigB: I dare you- Skizz: Scar is not allowed to accept dares anymore. BigB: Why not? Scar: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

Scott: Don’t preach to me about romance, Joel. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

Tango, to Lizzie: You know, BigB can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Tango: *blows airhorn at BigB* GET FUCKED!

Mumbo: What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Mumbo: Core-ean Joel: The center of the earth is arond 5430 degrees Celsius! Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language! Impulse: Core-ean.

*the Squad cleaning up* Etho: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. Pearl, to Tango: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

Mumbo: You're ugly. BigB: Tone indicator? Mumbo: Oh I'm sorry! You're ugly. /srs

Tango: Cleo... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Cleo: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Tango: Tango: I wrote sanitize, Cleo.

Gem, to Impulse: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Grian: May luck (and this picture of Scott eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

Etho: You have Crayons? Grian: Yes, I have— Etho: You're— how old are you? Grian: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

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lunarsands · 3 years ago

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Flower Husbands Week 2022: Day 6

Prompt: Loss

Setting: 3rd Life SMP

Characters: Scott Smajor, Jimmy Solidarity (featuring Canary!Jimmy)

Tags: Angst

(Also available on Ao3!)

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Scott lay on his back amongst the lilacs and allium, gazing up at the palisade wall and wondering if he was hallucinating. He could swear Jimmy was perched up there, staring past the world border. The odd thing was that the blond-haired man had wings. Sunshine-yellow were the feathers, the wingspan not very impressive, as if they might not be able to carry him, but they did seem to be there.

“Why are you a bird?” Scott called up to him.

“A bird?” Jimmy questioned, still looking outward.

“You look like a bird right now. Fly on down here, we have work to do.” Despite the statement, Scott himself didn’t move.

Jimmy finally looked down at him, and his eyes were red.

And his skin was gray.

And Scott remembered that his husband was nearly dead.

He sat up with a sigh of concession, drawing his legs up and wrapping his arms around his knees. Well, the work they needed to do was protect Jimmy from any more harm that might come his way, which was definitely easier said than done. The luckless man just invited trouble at every turn. His first death had been a daring risk, his second a foolish accident. Scott could imagine any number of scenarios that would deal the final blow, and, really, he had no idea how to prepare for any of them.

Jimmy appeared beside him, and he didn’t know if he had actually flown down or not. The yellow wings stuck out from behind his shoulders as he leaned over. “Are you okay?”

The cyan-haired man sighed again. “I don’t know. What are we going to do with you?”

Jimmy gave one of his awkward laughs. “What do you mean? It’s everyone else who has to worry, now that I have free reign on murder.”

“Jimmy… we both know that is never going to work out in your favor.”

“Hey now, that’s not fair—”

“You’re a walking disaster,” Scott said bluntly. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to watch you nearly cross the line of death? I don’t know how you ever made it this far at all! I’m just waiting, any second now, and that will be it!”

Jimmy drew back, stunned, wings sagging. “I’m not— I’m not that terrible at….at, uh, surviving, I guess? At least give me a chance to prove I can be as scary as any other red life!”

Scott’s voice got quiet. “I don’t want you to. You’re not cut out for it, anyway.”

“Well, you can’t stop me from trying.”

“Who would you go after, then? Who here do you think you have even half a chance of scaring who wouldn’t just turn around and slaughter you in the name of self-defense?”

“Uhhm, well, I could try—”

“Nobody,” Scott cut him off. “Just, nobody.” He flopped back down on the grass and turned away from Jimmy, curling up on his side. He poked at a flower stem with one finger. “You’re just useless.”

The blond-haired man frowned and uttered his own sigh, then sat down beside him, facing the other way. “I tried my best. I know my best wasn’t good enough, but I tried. And really, the second time it wasn’t my fault—”

“I told you to move away. I told you not to touch the TNT.”

“Well, maybe instead of running away, you should have shot the trap. You had a bow out already, after all. But you went bouncing off to that hill instead.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah. That was kind of your fault. You could have saved all of us from our own stupidity. Me, Ren, and Skizz.”

“But I warned all of you. Someone else could have gone and got a bow. Why should I have wasted my arrows on a trap set for Ren and Martyn?”

“Scott, it was set by Grian. He didn’t care who it caught. And then despite that, we teamed up with him and Scar anyway. Imagine that. I lose my second life to the man, and we end up in their desert, and, lo and behold, Skizzle found me and basically paid me back for costing him his second life.”

“…Wait, what do you mean?” Scott turned toward him, but all he saw were the yellow wings on Jimmy’s back.

“In all that desert, in all that mess before the whole place blew up, what were the odds, hey?”

“Jimmy, what—”

“You’ll be all right, Scott. You’re smarter and stronger than me. You just gear back up and get back out there.” Jimmy turned to him and smiled, and his eyes were gray. He was now gray all over, except for the wings.

The first one out, Scott remembered. He caught sight of the yellow bracelet on his own wrist. Oh. Right. He had finally lost his first life.

There was no more protecting Jimmy. They had already lost that fight.

But he could always try to avenge him.

~End~

#flower husbands week #flower husbands week 2022 #trafficshipping #scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #canary!jimmy #flower husbands my beloved #lunar yarns

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eluminium · 2 years ago

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I posted 1,473 times in 2022

That's 1,184 more posts than 2021!

137 posts created (9%)

1,336 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bucket-of-amethyst

@the-king-of-lemons

@impulsesv-but-everywhere

@luigra

@eluminium

I tagged 1,105 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#dose of impulse - 535 posts

#dose of skizz - 272 posts

#dose of bdubs - 81 posts

#impulsesv - 63 posts

#el rambleth - 51 posts

#dose of tfc - 43 posts

#el answereth - 36 posts

#dose of gem - 35 posts

#dose of tango - 33 posts

#double life spoilers - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i love grian as much as anyone else but honestly i'd rather not have him be involved in any resistence plot because we've already done that

My Top Posts in 2022:

appearently Joe said "maybe ive been instructed to make a sign to passively-aggressively shame impulse. no im just kidding i dont think impulse does drugs" in response to someone asking them about the "Winners don't do drugs" King Ren screen on the arcade. Which, while hilarious on its own, just made me think of like, soup group seeing that screen.

Like they see the king ordering them not to do something??? He dare extend his authority like this???? Well no king can tell THEM what to do!

Cue a meetup at the little research office in Pearls mushroom where Impulse is crying on the floor because he can't roll a blunt right, (Grian and Ren rolled all his blunts in the Hippie era, his hands were and are too big and clumsy for this) Pearl is trying to mix weed into a soup they're gonna give to the king but shes not familiar with the plant either so shes also struggling, and Gem is blazing it up with absolutely no problem. Shes a nature Elf, how the fuck did the others ever think she didn't know her way around plants like these

(weed is also legal in Canada. Its not in Australia but it IS in Arizona. Impulse is knowledgeable about the drug its just been so long since the Hippie days, hes been too much of a good boy lately. Hes lost the little blunt rolling skills he had :[ he was bragging about it to Gem and Pearl too and now hes made a fool out of himself :[[[)

Shoutout to @potionofinstantdamage for reporting that Joe quote and indirectly causing me to create this post.

527 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

Useless Facts about ImpulseSV: the post

Welcome to “Useless Facts about Impulse”. The title says it all. I am Eluminium, that one fuck who decided to watch every single Impulse hermitcraft season and actually fucking did it, and I have a bunch of completely useless knowledge from it now. AND I SHALL SHARE IT WITH YOU SO YOU TOO MAY ALSO BE ENLIGHTENED! Also cuz i’m bored as shit (Btw i’ll probably keep adding onto this post as I remember or gain more useless knowledge) People who’ve blessed this post with more facts: @bucket-of-amethyst @tsukinouta LET THE FACTS BEGIN! First addition of facts: August 7th 2022

-Out of every single base Impulse has constructed on Hermitcraft, 3 and a half of them have featured water as a major design element. These would be the City of Atlantis (S5), iBay (S6), The Pyramid (S7), and the half is his “starter base” temple (S3). (I count it as a half because he spent a considerable amount of time designing it but it isn’t his main base so to say.) -Impulse has two seasons of Hermitcraft that are the exact same lenght in terms of episodes, these being S3 and S4, both having 57 episodes. -Impulse’s longest season is S6 with 113 episodes, and his shortest is S8 with 35 episodes -Out of every base Impulse has built, only 2 of them do not feature his logo on the inside or outside in it’s final design. These are iBay (S6) and The Pyramid (S7)

-Impulse is shorter then Bdubs IRL. Bdubs claims to be 5′10 while Impulse claims to be 5′8. This makes fanon extremely hilarious

-In S4, the safe rooms Impulse and Tango constructed in the Wither Skeleton farm were called “The Sissy Room”, but only for one episode. After that it’s never mentioned again.

-Impulse’s wife (Ms. Impulse) has never touched Minecraft because she’s an interior designer and would most likely disappear off the face of the Earth if she ever let herself play the game. It hasn’t stopped Impulse from trying a few times though.

-Impulse has a habit of biting off more than he can chew. In 4 out of 7 seasons he’s been in there have been obvious projects that were never finished. These are in order: The roof of his and Tango’s shared Mega Base (S3), A fair amount of The City of Atlantis (S5), The missing farms on the Phinias Board (S7) and the interior of The Candy Factory (S8)

-Impulse’s current keyboard (At the time of writing) was custom made by his son

-In both S3 and S7, Impulse used the exact same floor desgin and armor stand gimmick for his Patreon Monument.

-One of the reasons Impulse and Skizzleman remain such close friends today was because he found a book on networking on Skizz’s bedroom floor when they were both looking to go to a new collage. They both went to the same Networking class after Impulse suggested it and have been glued together ever since. -They absolutely hated that networking class though

-Impulse has had 4 piercings in total. One in the tongue, one eyebrow one, one nipple, and one in the ear. Both the eyebrow one and the nipple one were taken out after they got caught on various zippers, and the ear one was something he did together with his drumline. None of them survived to the present day though.

-Impulse has sold enchanting related things in 4 out of 7 seasons (S4 S5 S6 S9)

-Impulse used to be completely bald and beardless until he grew out his hair and a beard for a No Shave November challange and people said it fit him. He hasn’t returned to baldness since that (At the time of writing) -Every since their introduction, Impulse always carries a totem on him. Although he has a resource pack that makes the totem invisible in first person so it won’t block up the screen as much.

-His Guardian Goodies shop building in S7 is an exact replica of a Guardian “shop” (everything was free) xB designed in S3

-Impulse has won every single “How to Kill” compitition, and with the exact same concept to boot. In “How to Kill a Doc” he made a bunch of traps that looked like the final blow but weren’t, instead having the killing strike be deliver by Impulse himself. In “How to Kill a Tango” he did the exact same thing, although the final blow should have been delt by a Magma Cube instead. Both of these killing machines also share similar surprises. Both involve fire charges (One from dispensers, one from a live Ghast), anvil launchers and TNT. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it i suppose?

-Impulse actually bought the “copyright rights” to the “i” brand from Iskall in S6 so he could keep iTrade open without confusion. Never got something similar from iJevin thought.

-When S6 updated to the villager update, Impulse managed to obtain a glitched Farmer Villager who never locked up his trades no matter how much you traded with him. Although he did lose a fair amount of villagers in iTrade too, so it was more a soul for a soul.

-The only season Impulse was part of that never had Elytras was ironically S3, the one with amplified terrain.

-The first time Impulse properly tested out the Elytra, it lagged so bad he died from fall damage by falling into Xisumas Guardian Farm. The elytra refused to open.

-Impulse and Tango has had an agreement since Impulse joined in S3 that they can take certain resources from each other’s storages and farms without asking before hand. They call this “Mi casa, Ti casa” or “My house, your house”.

-In 4 out of 7 seasons, Impulse has had at least one entire video that centers around either a request from xB, or featuring xB himself. (S3 S4 S5 S7)

-The “SV” in impulseSV could be read as “impulsive” but it actually stands for Impulse’s IRL initials

-Impulse was introduced to Minecraft via his son, who wanted to get into gaming. Impulse mostly played shooters but he didn’t want his kid to play those types of games at his age, so a coworker suggested Minecraft. Although his kid didn’t know anything about the game, so he had to hop on and learn too.

-Impulse plays Minecraft with an inverted mouse. This is because he got so used to flying helicopters in various shooters it made more sense to his brain that dragging the mouse down means up, and pushing it up means down.

-Impulse started out as a fan of Tango’s until he learned that he and Tango are pretty similar in age and in video style. So he e-mailed Tango about a collab and he accepted. Later they learned they lived incredibly close to each other and went out for some “sodas” (aka BEERS). The rest is history.

-The name Impulse along with the black and yellow colour scheme is something Impulse stole from his drumcore’s name and colour scheme. His favourite colour is actually purple.

-Impulse and Skizz live in the same neighbourhood (at the time of writing)

Second addition of facts 9th of August 2022

-Impulse has a dog (specifically a Border Collie) named Prim and a cat named Luna. Luna was a gift for his older daughter. Impulse wasn’t the biggest fan of cats until his wife got one, and he fell in love as well.

-He and Skizz have been best friends for over 25 years (at the time of writing)

See the full post

818 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

“There’s only two genders, MCC winner and non MCC winner” well damn Impulse congrats on your transition!!!!

1,253 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

Impulse: does an entire week of recording, including two videos, one of which for a major server event, and then an entire 4 hour livestream that was an EVEN BIGGER server event WHILE SICK ENOUGH THAT HE SKIPPED AN ENTIRE WEEK OF STREAMING

Impulse, the day after:

Oh wow. How did this happen. What a mystery. (Affectionate)

1,747 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

IMPULSE JUST CHUCKED THE QUEST RULEBOOK INTO THE OFFERINGS PIT LIVE AND DECLARED ANARCHY HES DOING IT. HE’S GOING OFF HIS ROCKER! IT’S ALL I’VE EVER ASKED FOR-

2,367 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

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lechairpourriedegrianri · 3 years ago

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Title: Golden Forest

Words: 1366

Description: Grian sacrifices himself to the creeper to save Scar’s life on the first day. Scar swears his allegiance to Grian and they settle in the Flower forest with Scott and Jimmy.

Warnings: Mentions of blood, if you were fine with Third Life you’ll be fine with this

@whyamihereat4am since I said I’d tag you

By the time Grian realized what was going to happen, it was too late. His only option left was to dive in front of the creeper before it could reach Scar and act like the whole thing had been a big accident. The other server members accepted that he had valiantly saved Scar from an incoming creeper, and that was a lot nicer than the truth of a prank gone wrong. He had not been expecting Scar to swear his complete loyalty to Grian as a manservant as thanks for the save, but oh well.

With Scar by his side, Grian settled at his starter house in the flower forest, where the duo discovered the Flower Husbands, Scott and Jimmy. The two pairs got along well and cut down the two dark oak forests on the server, giving them a monopoly on the material and forming a strong alliance between them. A mild surprise but still expected, Scar lost his first life in the logging process, swarmed by mobs in an admittedly unimpressive manner. After some thinking, he decided that since he had not died in defense of Grian, their deal still stood.

Grian and Scar soon began a rampage of scheming and hijinks, selling dark oak subscriptions, “reputation”, and no-kill passes (one of which was bought by BigB). Due to the two yellow-lives who had quickly become its public face, the Flower Forest became known as the Golden Forest. While Grian and Scar handled sales, Jimmy and Scott hung back at the forest to handle production of dark oak.

Despite his strong alliances with Scar and the Flower Husbands, Grian kept up ties with his fellow Blue Sword Boys, BigB and Martyn. He secretly planned to ditch the forest and team up with them if things got rough. Martyn had his own alliances, working under Ren at Renchanting. BigB, on the other hand, had kept to himself, staying friendly yet distant with everyone but not making any promises. For a time, there was peace, both in the Golden Forest and the rest of the server.

But no good thing lasts forever. Bored and hoping to start some fun, Cleo set fire to Joel’s house, pinning the blame on Scar when asked about it. Joel had earlier lost a life to Tango’s Dare to Flare game (which claimed Jimmy’s first life as well), and got caught up in the flames, becoming the server’s first red life. Enraged, he believed Cleo’s deception and went after Scar, despite Scar’s denials of commiting the act. Not wanting to rebuild his house, Joel talked Cleo, Bdubs, and Tango into a team-up, forming an expanded Team Crastle.

As conflicts between the Golden Forest and Team Crastle brewed, Ren, Etho, and Skizz met in Renchanting and agreed to stay neutral by any means necessary. Martyn tentatively agreed to join as well and act as a secret agent within the Golden Forest’s forces. Small battles erupted throughout the forest, fortress, and tower, and several more yellows and reds cropped up. Ren, Martyn, and Skizz were taken out by a tnt trap, leaving the former two on their yellow lives and Skizz on his red. After that, Renchanting found themselves embroiled in the fight, leaving three opposing sides. Jimmy and Grian both were left on their red lives after unlucky arrow fights, marking the Golden Forest a crimson red.

Soon enough, the unthinkable happened. During a particularly brutal fight that brought Scott to his yellow life, Bdubs (also red) stormed Jimmy and Scott’s lakeside house in the forest and struck Jimmy down, the server’s first permadeath. Scar quickly killed Bdubs in return. Scott was heartbroken briefly, but soon realized he could only feel rage. He did three things: first, he had Grian build a creeper farm; second, he collected as much sand as he could from the empty desert to the west, and third, he held a funeral for Jimmy, building the most magnificent grave he could. Scott stood on the grave and asked Grian to strike him down, so that he too could become a red life and avenge Jimmy’s death. Grian complied.

As the deaths stacked up, Grian began to consider his lie. It was wrong to hide the fact that he had led the creeper to Scar in the first place, yes, but at this point Scar wouldn’t be able to find a place in another faction, and telling him would only breed discord in their group, right? In the Crastle, Cleo felt much the same about her lie to Joel. With Bdubs gone, she slid into the position of leader, but hung back from the combat, preferring to lead with a silver tongue rather than a diamond sword. Impulse had tried bouncing between the three warring factions, staying sweet with each of them. But he soon found that despite standing with all three, none stood with him. Skizz and Impulse soon joined the permadead.

With a massive supply of tnt, Scott lay an insanely huge trap across the entire Golden Forest. Martyn saw what was happening and discreetly tried to slip away and warn Ren, but Grian had discovered the traitor in their midst. He killed Martyn in cold blood, leaving a stain on his hands that he couldn’t wash out. Once the trap was in place, Grian and Scar led everyone to the Golden Forest for a bloodbath. After killing Tango for the last time and ensuring that everyone but BigB was present, Scott detonated the trap. Scott died. Etho died. And Scar lost his second life, leaving him the last to turn red, even after BigB.

Six remained. Grian. Scar. Cleo. Joel. Ren. BigB. BigB got away from Grian and Scar with a no kill pass he had bought from them, leaving Ren as their next kill. Sensing it was the time to do it, Cleo admitted to Joel that she had been the one to burn his house down and had lied about it. He was confused at first, then betrayed, then filled with bloodlust. Bloodlust that did not take long for him to fill. By complete coincidence, at the same time, Grian confessed to Scar that he had led the creeper to him in the first place. Scar was dismayed, but still threw himself in front of Joel’s blade. His promise was fulfilled; he had died defending Grian’s life.

Grian fled, leaving a returning BigB to be cut down unceremoniously. Joel found him soon enough, cowering in the wreckage of Joel’s old home. They mutually agreed to a fair fight and relocated to the starting village, in a spot Grian recognized as eerily close to the one where he had sacrificed himself to save Scar. The two stripped themselves of armor and burned their items, leaving them each with one wooden sword. One a deceiver, the other deceived, they dueled in a ring of fire as the dead cheered them on. However, Grian’s spirit had been weakened by Scar’s death and he found himself unable to keep up with Joel’s hollow, holy fury. Grian died, beaten, remorseful, and alone.

Joel found himself wandering a silent world. The collapsed walls of Renchanting, the stripped sands of the desert, the home he had once known, the tower he had once called home, and, lastly, the Golden Forest. He found a smoking crater, but with one notable addition. An obsidian tomb nowhere’s above the wreckage, and after digging into it he discovered Jimmy’s grave, preserved from the tnt annihilation by Scott. Joel climbed to the top of the grave, and leapt. He respawned back in his bed, his life still a gleaming red.

As Joel made his journey, Grian found himself in the Golden Forest, restored beyond its former glory. New buildings, plants, and details that were exactly what he imagined the area could be. Jimmy, Scott, and Scar welcomed him to the barbecue, and as he sat down at the campfire, he realized that the grave had been replaced by two statues. One of Grian diving in front of the creeper, and other of Scar diving in front of Joel. He was home.

Rankings:

14. Jimmy

13. Bdubs

12. Skizz

11. Impulse

10. Martyn

9. Tango

8. Etho (Tie)

7. Scott (Tie)

6. Ren

5. Cleo

4. Scar

3. BigB

2. Grian

1. Joel (Winner)

#third life smp #third life fanfic #third life #3rd life smp #3rd life #Grian #goodtimewithscar #zombiecleo #scott smajor #smajor1995 #smallishbeans #my writing

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stormfoxes · 3 years ago

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3rd Life SMP: What if Martyn wasn’t recruited by Ren in session 1?

So, this thought came to me and I felt like rambling a bit about it because I feel that it could have changed the entire narrative of the series.

I am not the best at analyzing things nor as good as people who actually make “alternate history” posts/videos, but I wanted to share roughly what I came up with regardless.

For those who have not seen 3rd life, below the cut will be spoilers

[Sessions 1 & 2]

Canonically, Martyn used the enchant table at Renchanting while Ren was DC’d by a game crash. Upon Ren’s return, Martyn is recruited to be the marketing manager of the business.

In this timeline, however, he leaves without getting recruited and goes on his merry way. The Blue Swords Boys group is formed between him, Grian, and BigB, other cannonical events occur and we eventually get to the point where Scar dies to a creeper and Skizz dies to an enderman.

Martyn joined in on mocking Scar & Grian that they had dark oak saplings, this quartet of him, Jimmy, Scott, and Joel would become a faction, the Foresters. He would settle in the chunk of forest between where Joel’s house is and the flower forest of Jimmy/Scott.

The Red Desert (Grian/ Scar) and Team Crastle (Bdubs, Cleo, Tango, Impulse) are formed. Impulse & Etho settle in the swamp, BigB settles on the mountain outside Renchanting and remains unaligned.

Renchanting ends up comprised of Ren and Skizz as the duo. They remain peaceful and non-confrontational.

[Sessions 3 & 4]

Scar tries to buy Renchanting’s table and events follow cannon with him threatening to target them first. He then proceeds to yeet himself into the ravine later on. Ren panics and plans with Skizz to have a passageway between Renchanting & Skizzle Point.

Skizz then is robbed of all his things by the Red Desert and recruits Impulse into Renchanting as they need gear. Etho tags along.

When Scar goes to bargain for Joel’s enchant table, Martyn is a witness and helps retaliate, Scar flees with a warning that they are on his list.

Canonical deaths to Dare to Flare occur. Joel agrees to allow Etho to make a TNT flying machine at his base aimed for the crastle.

Ren is distracted by Scar within Dogwarts, Skizz keeps an eye on Grian and thus forces Grian to build the TNT trap outside the wall as he does in cannon, Skizz sees and alerts Ren.

Scott & Jimmy are at Dogwarts and curiousity gets the better of them so they also go investigate.

The TNT trap is set off by Jimmy. Him, Ren, Skizz, and Scott all die in the explosion.

[Sessions 5 & 6]

Everything happens cannonically in Session 5 except the whole Red Winter thing isn’t as dramatic. Ren requests Skizz kills him as, being on red, he can get away with doing so. Skizz reluctantly obliges.

Tango & Ethos deaths occur the same way they do in cannon.

BigB encounters Skizz’s tunnel and subsequently ends up joining them.

Cleo sets Joel’s house on fire and kills him. In retaliation, the other members of the Foresters plot revenge against the Crastle, recruiting Etho temporarily. Bdubs dies to a TNT trap instead of a bubble elevator.

Crastle declares Dogwarts and the Foresters enemies.

Red Desert attempts to become allies with the Foresters who turn them down in favor of Dogwarts because of Grian’s trap killing Jimmy & Scott.

The banner fiasco at Skizzle Point happens as does the chasing of the Red Desert by Renchanting and Pizza’s subsequent murder.

Events happen cannonically. Scar burns the wool castle while Grian builds the Red Desert bunker. Etho is then shot by Scar in the desert.

Dogwarts & the Foresters confront Scar & Grian over Etho’s gear and the fact that the wall of Jimmy & Scott’s base was burned down.

Red Desert claims they had nothing to do with the burnt down wall but it’s later revealed to the duo that Team Crastle was responsible when they come to form an alliance with Cleo (and by extension, Bdubs).

They go and mess with Dogwarts’ things but are caught and forced to flee. Cleo’s death to falling occurs as she tries to go over the fortress walls and is shot off them by Ren.

Factions & Allies at this point:

Foresters (Joel, Martyn, Scott, Jimmy) [Allied with Dogwarts]

Dogwarts (Ren, Skizz, Etho, Impulse, BigB) [Allied with Foresters]

Team Crastle (Cleo, Bdubs, Tango, Impulse) [Red Desert]

Red Desert (Scar, Grian) [Team Crastle]

Lives at this point:

Green: Grian, BigB, Impulse, Martyn

Yellow: Scott, Tango

Red: Ren, Skizz, Etho, Joel, Jimmy, Bdubs, Cleo, Scar

[Session 7]

Foresters & Dogwarts go after Scar & Grian. The desert blows up and no one dies to it like in cannon.

Grian dies to Martyn

Jimmy dies to Scar and is out of the game

Martyn dies to a Skeleton after being ambushed later

Team Crastle walks up on the battle and gets caught in the crossfire like in cannon.

Tango dies to Ren

Impulse dies to Grian (who thinks Impulse is part of Dogwarts)

Cleo dies to Skizz and is out of the game

Impulse betrays Dogwarts in favor of Team Crastle

Skizz dies to Grian in the craste and is out of the game

Lives at this point:

Green: BigB

Yellow: Grian, Martyn, Impulse

Red: Ren, Etho, Tango, Joel, Bdubs, Scar

Faction members at this point:

Dogwarts/Foresters: Ren, Martyn, Etho, Joel, BigB

Crastle/Desert: Bdubs, Impulse, Tango, Grian, Scar

[Session 8]

With both teams balanced at 5v5 Dogwarts would plan to send BigB into the Crastle with an invis potion and End Crystal.

Things would go cannonically with Crastle/Desert planing to lay siege to Dogwarts and trapping the portal while said faction is in the Nether.

Dogwarts would escape the nether and then chase the hooligans off, but get no kills out of it.

BigB is killed by Bdubs in a way similar to cannon.

Ren and Martyn get chased around the map by Impulse and Scar but rendezvous with Joel and his army of wolves, causing their pursuers to flee.

There’s no deaths until the battle at Skizzle point happens.

Impulse kills Martyn

Joel hits Grian from behind and his wolves get the kill

Tango shoots and kills Joel in retaliation.

Dogwarts then retreats.

Ren & Martyn meet up with Etho & BigB at what remains of the wool castle before heading to reclaim Dogwarts.

They get there and are ambushed by the enemy.

Alive at this point:

Dogwarts: Ren (R), Martyn (R), Etho (R), BigB (Y)

Crastle/Desert: Bdubs (R), Tango (R), Impulse (Y), Scar (R), Grian (R)

The Battle for Dogwarts would be where the series ends. A full-on bloodbath that only one remains standing after. Who that is I have no idea but I’d place my bets on it being Impulse, Martyn, Etho, or Grian. Whether or not the final 2 are on the same team or not also is unknown.

Anyway, that’s my random alternate timeline ramble. Hope it made sense and I didn’t bore you~

#3rd life smp #inthelittlewood

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