Tumgik
#ive never lost my place tho
gothamcityneedsme · 2 years
Text
problem: i keep falling asleep reading this book
3 notes · View notes
sunfloralchaos · 1 month
Text
Once I'm done with ongoing things I'll probably take a serious break from shit,,, not feeling worth it at the moment
7 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
Text
...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
6 notes · View notes
coffeeworldsasaki · 7 months
Text
The fact that somehow society got so fucked up to see weight loss as something always positive is insane to me, I connect it only to illnesses and poverty
2 notes · View notes
newfruits · 2 years
Text
i have obtained my testosterone prescription and have an appointment tomorrow afternoon to learn how to inject myself :O !!!
2 notes · View notes
holiday-n-express · 1 year
Text
make the ghe/////tsis tag great again
0 notes
f1shart · 3 months
Text
*clawing my way out of a deep dank pit or something* erm hai guys..College gays1!! 💗
Tumblr media
ive been playing a little early strangetown and starting thinking up college hcs for these gyals theyre still kids in my game.. whatever. im the planner
★ rambling below ★
ok first, ages since theyre all fucked up in game: Instead of the twins being older than all of glarn's kids, they're only a year older than lazlo which Yeah would mean glarn got mpregnant and disappeared from the house for some months to hide it (idiot), dropped the twins at his lovelorn ex-wife's house, and returned home to his "normal" kids. They'd otherwise be in their mid-late 40s living with these recently graduated young women and like for what 😭 As of 2004 they are 26, erin is 24, and kristen is 23. she skipped a grade so she was a college freshman at the same time as eri ^_^
but anyway this drawing is set in 1998 HERE ARE THEIR MAJORS: Lola in poli-sci, Chloe in philosophy (she never fucking chose), Erin in psychology, and Kristen in public health but in-game it would be biology stop i wanted them all to begin with P beacuse. silly. kristen's mom, being an older and more traditional parent, wanted her to pursue a career in medicine but after her death kristen got the courage to choose the major she wanted, which was <whatever major gives you a boost in athletic LOL i havent checked>
gah i didn't mention but college is where the 4 of them met :3 I'm thinking of placing them in this university because i want it to be pretty far from strangetown hence the Actual Grass, plus kristen isnt actually from there so mission u may be closer to her hometown? maybe? Post-graduation they all get a house together because of their money situation even though chloe is a bitch to kris and erin 😭 (kris doesnt mind though eheh... my idea is that her and chloe had a fling in college but while chloe is a romance sim and does not gaf, kristen is still a bit hung on her) (i dont necessarily ship them tho im a diehard misten/lost waters/whateverthefuck fan OK. kris is a simp for pretty femmes & i cant exactly blame her...)
Tumblr media
I LOVE HER!!! toothy ass grin god that face is just meant to be butch i can fix you kristen loste my beloved
274 notes · View notes
buckrecs · 1 year
Note
HELLO so i was wondering if you have some winter soldier x reader fics?? ive been trying to find some but theyre all so short (still amazing stories tho) tysm, i really appreciate you making recs
Winter Soldier!Bucky
masterlist | req masterlist
Tumblr media
ONESHOT
Into Cursed Pixie Dust by @buckets-and-trees
“He's credited over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years…” but you don’t know that. You run into him once, then again, again, again. Destiny draws you together, and neither of you can deny the pull. And yet though he never ages, you do.
Stalker by @you-are-my-sanctuary
In which Bucky has a crush on the new PR manager and is being an adorable stalker.
sleepwalking by @lanadelreyscokewhor3
when your boyfriend bucky wakes up with the winter soldier mindest, you do the only thing you know how to do- comfort him. he does the only thing he knows how to thank you- possessive sex. 
Colors in the Dark by @buckychrist
The world is without color, and that’s never bothered the Winter Soldier. The Fist of HYDRA didn’t have time for love and soulmates. At almost a century old, what are the odds that his soulmate was even still living?
ephemeral by @earlgreydream
the winter soldier shows up wounded at your door during a storm.
Purgatory by @wkemeup
While on a mission, Bucky becomes dissociated into the Winter Soldier. But instead of becoming a threat, his instinct is to protect.
a soldier gone rouge by @kinanabinks
the winter soldier has been sent to kill you. why, then, are you so wet?
Reverse Psychology by @waiting4inspiration
Bucky’s Winter Soldier mode is triggered. But you have something up your sleeves that will bring him back.
Comply by @gogolucky13
With Hydra, everyone is a prisoner.
Don’t Fear the Reaper by @gogolucky13
One night, the Winter Soldier appears at your place of work to eliminate a target. He leaves you alive, only to return a few months later.
Fatal Mistake by @rookthorne
A rogue agent amidst their ranks, it was the perfect plan, a perfect escape. It was their fatal mistake. 
Wolf, Partner, Gloves… by @revengingbarnes
HYDRA’s words make Bucky go into Winter Soldier mode. Then he meets you, and you make for him words that will bring him back to normal.
the dragon and her shadow by @kashimos-hajime
You fall in love with the Winter Soldier, and they punish you for it. Sentiment is weakness, but what can they do? After all, they cannot kill the Fist of H.Y.D.R.A. and mortal men cannot even begin to comprehend slaying a dragon.
take it easy, romeo by @sunmoonandeddie
The Soldat remembers one person through it all.
You Found Me by @samthemarvelfan
Bucky Barnes always came home to you. What happens when he doesn't? Worse than that...what happens when he forgets you existed?
Gone Again by @tokoyamisstuff
The Winter Soldier is lost and confused, unable to remember a single thing - except for the place where he’d find the woman that had become his safe space.
I’ll Come Back for You by @milliedazzledust
something where he is in winter soldier mode and protecting the scientist (y/n) where she is the only one who can sort of calm him down after a mission.
Void by @theeleggymeggy
Working as a nurse at HYDRA, you find yourself intervening when you catch Alexander Pierce striking The Asset. You don’t even know this man, but you can’t just stand and watch him be beat down.
Sweet Memory by @
SERIES
One’s Promised by @invisibleanonymousmonsters
Living a double life was not a choice when one was the daughter of Alexander Pierce. Y/N was the youngest agents of SHIELD and one of the most respected threats within Hydra’s empire. No matter her allegiance, she was feared by both. Y/N Pierce would’ve tried to escape it all… if it hadn’t been for The Winter Soldier.
Soldat by @the-fallen-nightmare
Captain America and Reader have worked together at SHIELD for over a year. What happens when they have a run in with The Winter Solider and Steve finds out the secret Reader had been hiding from him all this time? And what happens when reader is captured by Hydra and The Winter Soldier, again. Can she make Soldat remember her or is her life with Steve just a slow fading memory now?
 
Breach by @darkmasterlistyouneveraskedfor (dark)
The reader finds herself in the Winter Soldier’s cross hairs during a lock down.
Reset by @lunarbuck
The government has fallen, Hydra has taken over. You were an agent of SHIELD long before the reign of terror began, and became a member of the resistance when they needed you most. Everything changes when the Winter Soldier captures you from your safe house.
Devil’s Backbone by @trashmenofmarvel
With your team dead and your mission failed, you’ve been taken by the assassin to an unknown location and are at the mercy of your cruel tormentors.
Krasavchik by @after-avenging-hours
While under orders from Karpov to test the Soldat’s loyalties to Hydra, you find yourself questioning your own loyalties.
Welcome Home… Soldat? by @winterarmyy
Y/N had make a habit of greeting Bucky a warm 'welcome home' everytime he came back from his missions, but there was one particular day when she unknowingly greeted someone else.
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
anundyingfidelity · 7 months
Text
I'M A RUIN — Soldier Boy/Ben (Part I)
Tumblr media
Summary: After the events of the Seven Tower, you present Grace Mallory a new secret project you're working on already to develop a cure to Compound V. The only problem? You need Soldier Boy for that.
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.
Word count: 1,536.
Warnings for series: set after S3 (spoilers), some OOC!Ben, some depressed!Ben, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, slow-burn, language, PTSD, reader has Compound V (she's no Vought supe tho), Soldier Boy being an usual asshole, reader is a fucking liar.
Notes: As soon as I saw him my feminism left my body immediately and my inner voice agreed that I'd let him take away my human rights with no question. He's an absolute idiot, would sleep with him 100%.
Heads up as English is not my native language sooo, yeah you know what follows. Lord pls give me inspo to finish this fic, amen.
☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !
get yourself in the taglist!
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII
GEN MASTERLIST! — SERIES MASTERLIST!
Tumblr media
Part I: For The Common Good
Two months.
Two months ago Grace Mallory decided to put the former greatest supe into sleep. Somehow, you managed to get in her head, explaining your new project to her and finding a new use for Soldier Boy, who had enough rest for 40 years.
You knew what happened at the Seven Tower, how Soldier Boy and Butcher's team ended up there to finally kill Homelander. Grace tried doing some shit against Vought before, but she never managed to win. It wasn't different this time. What was better then, that to develop a cure for supes like you, who didn't ask for it? People who never used their powers in public, nor seeked fame and money.
As a doctor in Chemistry, you were developing a cure for Compound V with a secret team. Suitable for you, you were in the same CIA tower Colonel Mallory decided to encapsulate Soldier Boy to, initially, spend the rest of his days in. You had luck Grace gave green light to the project, even though your team was already working on it without her approval anyway. But it was so much better if she found out properly.
Making your way to the super secured wing where Soldier Boy was held out of his sleep, you gripped the folder in your hands. You were scanned thoroughly before going inside a cold space, where two different crystal windows and metal doors separated the place. The armed guard guided you to the first room to check first through the window. You sighed, seeing a man sitting down, hands cuffed to a harsh steel table, gaze lost. It was him.
"The keys," you requested the guard by your side.
"Doctor-"
"I said, keys. He doesn't need to be cuffed."
He complied to your order, clearly annoyed but with a straight face and you walked to the closed door.
"If something happens, I can take care of myself. Don't let anyone inside understand?" you said.
He gave a nod. With that, he let you inside the room, the doors closing behind your back.
The prisoner observed you carefully as soon as you entered. His gaze was tired, but he seemed ready to attack, and it was completely hard to ignore his rough stare on you as you made your way to your seat in front of him. Soldier Boy observed you, placing the folder on the surface, and you held his gaze, not flinching for a second. Until you decided to talk first.
"I am glad you're awake. My name is Y/N, I am a doctor at the facility. Just wanna know how you're doing today," you spoke in a calm and soft way, so he could see you were not a threat.
He saw you roaming through the pages of the file, which he recognized as a copy of his file, and you took a pen from your lab coat to make some anotations.
"Not a smart move to let a fucking doctor here," he said with a deep voice, lips forming a straight line. "What do you want?"
"I want to help you."
"Cut the bullshit."
"I want to talk. If you let me, I will uncuff you so we can have a chat, like civilized people. Just don't try to escape, you won't go too far."
He raised an eyebrow as you reached his wrists and carefully, you set him free from the metal grip.
"I know what happened with Butcher and his boys," you said, confident that he would not try anything else. "About Homelander and your relationship with him."
"What the fuck do you know?" Soldier Boy tensed visibly hearing the name of the bastard. Still, he remained on his seat. "Want some info? You can lick Grace's pussy for that."
"She is, actually, the one who approved me to be here right now," you answered, brushing off his vocabulary. You used to deal with assholes like him all the time.
He scoffed. "Why?"
"Ben," you called his real name softly. "You've been sleeping for four decades. You deserve a second chance, I am offering you that. In some sort of way."
"I'm not going to be part of that freakshow-"
"This has nothing to do with Vought," you cut his words, his tone rising and you knew perfectly why. "You just need to be here in the facility, awake, in a dignified place we will give you so you can learn everything you missed. We can give you therapy, a comfy room, anything you want that's legal, of course..."
His jaw clenched, feeling you would ask for something more. "In exchange of what?"
"I know it's hard, unfortunately you won't be able to get out, but you don't deserve to sleep forever again," you sighed. "I will pay you visits and follow your improvements because you're human, after all. That's all I ask from you," you gave him a smile for the first time.
For a few moments, he said nothing, as if making up his mind about it. "Alright, anything but coming back to that shit hole. I need reefer though."
"Lucky you, that's legal now. We can certainly make it happen."
Tumblr media
He looked around the room as you let him go inside first. Not the fanciest, not the shittiest. It had the basics: a bed, a sofa, a TV, a closet, a bookshelf with different books, magazines and newspapers he wasn't sure would read any time, a separate door for a bathroom, enough privacy, and no windows though. It wasn't really a cell, but he did look and felt somehow like a hostage. Just a little less if he could say.
"This is what we have for now, I am all ears if you request something else to have in here," you began as he paced around and tested the bed, sitting down on the mattress.
Ben still wasn't convinced on why you offered this to him. Sceptic, he gave a good look at you, roaming his eyes at your standing figure in a fucking lab coat. Christ, he hated those. Too pretty for a doctor, but too dumb to be locked with a supe like him. He was so tired that he didn't try and hit on you like he normally would with any walking pussy that appeared in plain sight. He was too exhausted to even give a shit.
"Lemme think about it, doctor."
"Of course, take your time," you replied as he walked toward the bookshelf, scanning through the titles there were. He recognized only half of them.
"So, I will be imprisoned here instead of a fucking eggshell," Ben said, turning around to meet you. "Charming," he smirked, dragging the words out of his mouth. "Doing charity."
He watched your face drop as you shook your head. "It's not like that-"
"Then why keep me awake?" Ben insisted as he gave steps to get close to you. "I can't die, it's much easier to force my sleep in a capsule your boss made specially for me."
He stopped mere inches in front of you, your eyes never turned away from him. He thought you were fucking brave just by keeping his dark gaze.
"Ben, I told you I will be watching your progress. You can grow from all of this with our help-"
"What kind of doctor are you?"
"A psychiatrist. That's why I'm here."
Ben scoffed with a grin showing on his lips. He didn't believe in that kind of shit, but oh, well. What was he gonna do about it? He was tired of sleeping, Mallory captured him, and you were here, giving him a shelter for no cost, but his freedom. In his mind, that was temporary of course. With time, a plan would come. Right now, he just needed to keep up with the fucked up things of the modern world.
"I guess you would come and babysit me then," he said, going back to take a sit on the bed.
"Wouldn't use 'babysit you' but I will come to see you, that's for sure."
He nodded. Silence was his answer, so you continued.
"Just general rules. Our people will bring you three meals a day, if you're missing something that you need then just push the button by the door, there will be guards outside to assist you on that. Also, there are clothes your size on the closet and personal products so you can change and take a shower," he stayed silent again, just taking in your words. "If you don't need anything then I leave you to get comfortable," you said, about to leave.
"Wait. I do need something," he hesitated for a moment, but he continued anyway. "Don't use those lab coats when you come in."
Your eyes widened, he quickly realised you already knew why he was requesting that when you started to take off the coat, revealing your formal attire. You wrapped the coat on your arm and cleaned your throat.
"I totally understand, I will keep that in mind when I come tomorrow. And I will ask for your reefer too."
You flashed a final polite smile and left him to get settled. Ben breathed out. Fuck, he really needed a shower.
288 notes · View notes
youremyheaven · 2 months
Note
with that Venusian man 👨 hmm 👀👀 spill the tea girl
Not the 33yr old, this is the friend from a few nights ago 😜 whose arms I liked 🤭😩
They're both Bharani Moon tho 😌 which is my favourite among the Venus naks 😌😌😌 so I do feel like God's favourite rn lmao 🤪
Idk why I never felt this way about him before but looking at his pictures and talking to him, didn't make me feel much , like he's objectively good looking, a veryyyy handsome man, 6'2 😩😩 (the 33yr old is 5'7 max 😔) BROAD ASF SHOULDERS, BIG ARMS, but I was never attracted to him. He has a very sweetie personality too, he has Mercury in Purvabhadrapada atmakaraka and lots of Jupiter in his navamsa chart and he feels veryyy Jupiterean, which according to Claire's video is the nice guy you friendzone etc which is what I did too 😜🤭🤭but OH MY GODDDDDD THE MAN IS DEMONICCCC IN BED 😩😩😩😩😩
He has a veryyyy masculine presence and I love love love love LOVE his body 😩😩😩 he's so bulky and so big, I just get butterflies looking at him 😍😍
So we agreed to book a hotel room that you can rent for a couple of hours??? BEST DECISION IVE EVER MADE 😩😩😩
and from the minute he picked me up, I just had to have him inside me one way or another like 😭😭😭 he's SOOO manly, that I just WANT to get on my knees for him 😭😭😭 I can't believe I'm saying this out loud 😭😭
He's so affectionate and SOOOO gentlemanly, like DAMN he was raised right ✨ he prioritizes foreplay and spends a lot of time on my body, just kissing me all over, I remember when we were friends, he'd casually point to the moles on my arms and say shit like "would be nice playing connect the dots with these 😏" but I just saw him as a friend and I flirt with all my friends male and female and vice versa so i didn't think too much of it but tonight 😩😩😭 as he took my pants off, he saw the mole on my upper thigh and he was like "here's one I haven't seen before 😈" (and all of today, his voice has been deeper and more 🥵🥵 usually he sounds all 😃😊😃☀️🌸 but today he sounded so 😈🥵😈 even tho he was just talking about normal shit) and then he kissed it and licked it 🥵🥵down until he reached yk where 🙈 and BOYS' GOT THAT TONGUE TECHNOLOGY 😩😩😩I was shook 😳😳😳too stunned to speak 🙊😳😳😳😳I was physically glitching 😭 i literally had to beg him to just put it in because I cannot take it anymore 😭😭 and the wayyyy he grabbed my legs closer to him 😩😩😩we fcked thrice 🙈🙈🙈🙈 he only had one condom 💀💀💀 and y'all should always use protection when you have sex but when he pulled out and jizzed on my stomach, I lost my mind, idk it was so hot 🙈🥵
And just the way he holds me, touches me etc it makes me feel 😩😩😩
I'm sorry to share such filth detail with y'all but I don't have friends I can share any of this with (so instead I'm telling thousands of strangers lmao 😭) idk why I'm giving such a blow by blow account of this but honestly it was suchhh a good experience 🙈🙈🙈
We were just lying down talking between rounds and we have such a good bond y'all it's so funny 😭😭 like we're talking about random shit, he was asking me about stuff and I was telling him and he was smiling kissing my body as he's listening and then he holds my face and says "you know this is pillow talk right" and idk we're both blushing 🙈 and he's like "I love listening to this, don't stop, keep talking" 😩😩 (fastest way to my heart lol)
Anyways, we leave the hotel (super cute place btw) and when we're by the reception the staff (just two dudes) look at us like 😏but tryna remain professional and I feel so accomplished like ??? I just had sex with this tall handsome man ??? 😩😩And everytime others looked at us, I was just like 😌😌hehe this hottie was inside me 😌hehe 🤪😜🤭 and ngl we look reallyyy good together 🥵🤭🙈but anyways although he pulled out in time, he did cum outside my yk what and I told him I'm taking the pill just to be safe and he parked a little bit away from the pharmacy and went and bought it for me???? Like that's well raised right there 🥹🥹 (he didn't want them to see me bc this is India and women are judged heavily for having sex and he bought it bc he came inside me so that's the least he could do 💀but just the fact that all of it was so unspoken and he just did all of it intuitively was sooo hot to me, like I said I'm turned on by gentlemanliness) you should have seen the way he looked when he walked back to me 🥹🥹🥹🥹 just the finest man alive 😍🥵😩 idk how someone can go from being some guy to THE guy in a couple of days but it's happened 😭😭😭
he texted me asking if I reached home and then asked me a little later if I took the pill 😭😭 I never ever EVER thought that him and I would be at a point where we fuck raw and he reminds me to take the pill 😭life works in mysterious ways 😭
29 notes · View notes
xenglitch · 2 months
Text
animatic of an AU ive been working on
(theyre cats cuz i was not feeling like drawing humans/humanoids today)
more info abt the AU (+ character references) below the cut
okay so ive actually been working on this AU since before SOTE even had a trailer lmao which meant i had to redesign most of SOTE to fit with the rest of the AU; i havent completely rewritten everything yet plot-wise so its a little wonky atm
basically its a tarnished!miquella AU where miquella (and by extension st trina) is reincarnated as a tarnished. as one might guess from the name. miquella didn't survive the cocooning in the haligtree so his soul was reborn while his now hollow shell remained in the haligtree. something else nestled inside the now empty empyrean body (similiar to shabriri and yura's situation) and began its own plotting while miquella's soul was lost in the sea of souls or whatever until he got reincarnated. who or what exactly body-napped miquella's corpse? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows
either way tarnished!miquella does the whole elden ring song and dance (with boc as a permanent travel companion cuz he has a special place in my heart (hence why he's on the character refs)) until before SOTE. Mohg isn't dead or anything but is pretty much stuck in eternal sleep. varre thinks miquella did it which he didnt and thru trina they figure out someone or something used sleeping mohg to enter the land of shadow. from there miquella follows whoever is responsible for perma-sleeping mohg (whether varre and/or others get to follow or not is still up for debate so *shrug*)
eventually miquella runs into people who claim to be following his footsteps, which. obviously makes no sense. miquella has never been to the land of shadow before. he then is approached by mimiquella (mimic miquella, which is how ive been calling fake miquella so i dont constantly have to say fake miquella & tarnished miquella) who tries to convince miquella to join them but miquella rejects them. mimiquella is also the one who has bewitched all of the followers into blinding following their lead, though miquella later manages to figure out how to break the bewitchment for good (despite being portrayed in the vid freyja & hornsent dont die or anything, they do get injured but arent killed)
and yeah thats pretty much what the video is about. mimiquella trying to convince miquella to join them while showing off all the fucked up cult stuff that is going on.
i might go back and color the frames in the video properly if i find the time and energy and motivation to do so, but for now take the vid as is + the character refs below
characters from top left to bottom right:
image 1: fake miquella/mimiquella
image 2: freyja, moore, thiollier, ansbach
image 3: marika & boc (dont show up in the vid, i had something planned for them tho)
image 4: miquella, trina, leda, hornsent
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
21 notes · View notes
mirixmoya · 3 months
Text
hello friends welcome to GRADING TORTURED POET SOCIETY SONGS BASED ON HOW EASILY I COULD TURN THEM INTO A HAYFFIE FIC (PART TWO) i hope u enjoy.
(you can find PART ONE here, for anyone interested!)
i. the black dog: 8/10. excellent directly-post-war hayffie song. captures a moment when they haven't quite re-connected yet, but they're both dying without eachother. "my longings stay unspoken, and i may never open up the way i did for you" "six weeks of breathing clean air, i still miss the smoke" is all very them. a really effective illustration of how the world feels like a different place in heartbreak, it's desolate and aching, which is all very very hayffie.
ii. imgonnagetyouback: 9/10. this song is bananas crazy, but so is effie. so it fits. it reeks of the turbulent, on-again-off-again, boundaryless, situationship parts of hayffie. once again, i think this could be a VERY good directly-post-war vibe. "i can tell when somebody still wants me" "you'll find that you were never not mine" "even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you" are all crazy thought processes which i can 100% imagine effie having.
iii. the albatross: 7/10. i know everyone is really stuck on this being a lucy gray / katniss / snow parallel song, but i see the hayffie vision! i think it would be a good song to juxtapose all of effie's relationships with capitol men against her relationship with haymitch. how is she made to behave by love? how does her fame + position loom over her relationships? effie is mythologized by the men in her life, almost made unreal by their perceptions of her, and it's haymitch who makes her real again. if any of that makes sense.
iv. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: 8/10. EVERYONE HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE, but i have this vision of really angsty post-canon hayffie where they try to make a proper relationship work, they really do, but they just... can't. but there is an ache to this failure. a regret. they thought that they would always be able to come back to this, to eachother, but they discover that life is actually a series of closed doors. things change over time. they're forced to grieve this past version of their relationship that they simply don't have access to anymore. "you turned me into an idea of sorts, you needed me but you needed drugs (ALCOHOL) more" "could it be enough to just float in your orbit?" "if you want to break my cold, cold heart, say you loved me" ... yeah, the angst potential is endless.
v: how did it end?: 7/10. ONCE AGAIN, excellent bones for an angsty post-canon 'well, it didn't work out' hayffie vibe. good general thg imagery with "lost the game of chance, what are the chances?" + "the empathetic hunger descends" etc etc. "we were blind to unforeseen circumstances" very very them.
vi: so high school: 5/10. i feel like i could twist it to be hayffie if i tried really hard. like maybe a post-canon movie-verse traumaless fluff vibe where everything just falls into place. "no one's ever had me, not like you" is a very good line for hayffie tho.
vii: i hate it here: 8/10. excellent potential for a pre-canon / during-canon hayffie where effie uses their relationship as her refuge from the rest of the world, it's the only place she can truly be herself. the precocious child stuff, the debutant stuff, "i'm lonely but i'm good, i'm bitter but i swear i'm fine", all feels veryyy effie. this song would also be a good framework for effie being incapable of articulating her relationship with haymitch to other people, the magic of it is lost on them, it comes out clunky and awkward. but SHE knows it's real.
viii: thanK you aIMee: 2/10. not a hayffie song. but i feel like i could make it about effie & The Other Escorts if i really tried.
ix: i look in people's windows: 6/10. listen, this album is just an post-canon hayffie gold mine. "i had died the tiniest death" (the war) "i'm afflicted by the not knowing" (her relationship with haymitch) "what if your eyes looked up and met mine, one more time" (they can try again, can't they?). the anxious, almost neurotic ruminating is very effie to me.
x. the prophecy: 10/10. THE HAYFFIE SONG! if you saw the twitter edit before it got taken down, you KNOW. "don't want money, just someone who wants my company" "i'm so afraid i've sealed by fate" ... devastating. i think the illusions to prophecy & fate & this lack of control all play into her role in The Games really well. the idea that she's being punished for her sins by this lack of love. so much of effie is controlled and precise, i think the fact that this one thing (her relationship with haymitch) is sooo out of her control would drive her insane. perhaps insane enough to beg on her knees...
xi. cassandra: 4/10. not really hayffie focused, but good potential for one of my more politically focused fics. maybe the year of the 75th, leading right up to the rebellion. cinna & portia strike me as very cassandra-coded.
xii. peter: 1/10. not hayffie. maybe seneca & effie relationship study, but def not hayffie.
xiii. the bolter: 10/10. PERFECT EFFIE SONG! NO NOTES! SHE IS THE BOLTER! a precocious child with a "quite bewitching face" who is "splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless"??? welcome back effie trinket! the chorus is very hayffie to me. i'm thinking pre-canon early affair vibes. we get all the fun contrast between her relationship with haymitch and her relationship with the capitol "trophy hunters". the bridge could not be more effie if it tried, "hearts are hers for the breaking, there's an escape in escaping". she falls through the ice (the war) but don't worry folks, she comes out alive!
xiv. robin: 0/10. i genuinely have no idea what i could do with this song. sorry.
xv. the manuscript: 3/10. potential for post-canon living-happily-ever-after hayffie but with effie reflecting on her past relationships with capitol men. there's lots of illusions to grooming and the imprint that age-gap relationships leave behind that i think could really work.
20 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
...
#i experience an emense amount of guilt ovet not being able to focus on work. go into the lab and run into a lab mate and hes like#u leave Thursday? why tf r u here? and that makes me feel a lil better lol#ive just being data entering all day. that takes so fucking long. and then helping an undergrad#exept my code was out of date so i was like welp i can only get u this far bc i did not write this code. i do not work with the#supercomputer on a regular enough basis. and i gave my 30 days notice today so ill be working remotely until the 18th#i probably should have done it way before but like ive still got so much to do i might as well get paid for doing it#the undergrad was like id probably work to the end bc i feel lost when im not working and i was like. bro. im so fucking brunt out that ppl#around me r like yo r u ok? theres a thing as too much work. dont cross that line. snd ill still probably work to the end bc i dont wanna#have to do it on top of other shit. but god. in a few days i never have to go back in that building again#sometimes having to be in that lab would make me feel physically ill i thibk just bc i have so much stress associated with standing at that#lab bench but woof i will not miss it. its not great. the ppl r nice but like the institution kinda sucks. but i probably#wasnt the best fit for the school. i only cane out here for my advisor and on that front i have no regrets#god im so tired tho. just make it Thursday already so my parents can b helping me move >~< lets fucking goooooo#srry for not posting much drawing wise. i prob wont b able to for a while as i transition across the country lol#also. a note to myself. i should get a proper sketchbook so i can actually draw out ideas and store them in a place. that would b convenient#god. its so hot 😖 let me leave#unrelated
5 notes · View notes
starlightomatic · 1 year
Note
today ive lost all my non-jewish leftist/queer nyc and cali community. i am heartbroken. people i love are in israel. as an american jew, i feel so sad to see people celebrating the deaths of our people. this is not "revolution". if people think bb isnt going to do all he can to obliterate Palestine even more than before they're wrong. this is bad for EVERYONE. NO ONE WANTS THIS. its not progressive or revolutionary to celebrate the kidnappings and mass deaths of jews, many of which never have supported this war in the first place and simply have wanted peace and safe coexistence. they are there because they cannot leave.
thank you for continuing to post about this, reading your replies has brought me so much solace. I thought before i could have community with radical goyim and now i know this is sadly untrue.
honestly i have at least five or six jewish friends who've posted that stuff too
i get it, if people are pushed to breaking point they will break. that doesn't mean it's good tho and that's not a distinction i've seen made a lot
71 notes · View notes
pteren · 3 months
Text
went to pride by myself today!
ive never seen so many queer people in my life. everyone was so beautiful and free. everyone smiled back when you smiled at them. a significant fraction of people had funny t shirts- my favorite was "i axolotl questions"
i was really disappointed i didn't find my flag :( parade didn't feature a single aro/ace flag, and i didn't see a single aromantic flag it at the festival- even in the booths that sell ALL the flags >:P
i saw exactly one person wearing an aro flag as a cape and i lost them in the crowd before i could work up the courage to talk to them. i am not proud.
i did have fun tho! i walked all over the place and bought overpriced lemonade and did rope dart to the music. my improvised face paint came off but i made a pin at one of the tables to replace it:
Tumblr media
as expected, i was way too shy to do this thing on my own. barely interacted with anyone. but i texted one of my favorite mutuals which made me feel better :3
happy pride, y'all :)
18 notes · View notes
gailsfrog · 14 days
Text
A very ridiculously long rant of my SMG4 and Mr. Puzzles Theory's (it's long;-;)
Has anyone ever thought its weird how Smg4 is PERFECTLY NORMAL the Saturday after IGBP!?! like Bro just got done being mentally insane like literally a few days ago and he's just like mentally FINE after all that!?? Nuh Uh- Aint no way- Smg4's probably still coo coo crazy a bit or a lot cuz yalls not gonna be chill after all that far as i know thats not how human minds work. >:/
In SMG4 doesn't meme for one second he's hardcore creepy vibes, ofc more memey ofc which is funny- (Bald Smg4💀) but still sinister none the less :0
then ofc him saying "time to come up with the PERFECT video" in SMG4 simulator then ofc im like NOO :C DOnt gO eVil again and idk do some crazy crap with mr. puzzles and make ur perfect video- amd go all evil- evan tho its cool and eerie-NO :C
Then smg4s really creepy/scarry coocoo cazy vibes in the MEME Factory. Cannon smg4 did actually have an effect on our poor meme boi like bro lost some of his sanity has Mr. Puzzles trauma and now is more antagonistic- which Mr. Puzzles said he makes a good villian Whitch he does in a creepy funny memey way witch is great! and sort of a plot twist cuz smg4 is all cute and bubbly and sweet then he goes all >:000 >:) Creepy and sinister is awsome! it would be cool to see Smg4 as a main antagonest for an arc although we got IGBP so its GREATTT!! AAAAAAAA-
I also sorta feel like Mr. Puzzles is like Smg4 but like: What if smg4 never had any freinds? so he like sorta obsesses and rellys on The TV and makeing entertainment so they dont feel alone or have some sort of purpose. Smg4 and Puzzles are really similar in a way just took a small but major path. Smg4: had freinds his whole life, like a main roll purpose (hes a frickin meme guardian!!!!!! >:D) home and ofc his youtube and whatever chaos happens in this world. Mr Puzzles: never had freinds, probably had crap parents and school bullys, (ISTG HE PRoBably made/re-created little shows with like socks pupets as a kid- AAAA_) anyway- Puzzles sorta just watched TV to comfert him and sorta be his 'freind' in a way which probably ended up inpireing him to proove himself as an actress and become fameous weather to proove the world hes good enough or loved or himself. (Poor Mr.Puzzke wuzzle :'c) So anyway Smg4 and puzzles are like opisites of what they have but similar.
(Mr. Puzzles Headcannon Back story time B) since i wanna type today ;-; ) So ive sotta headcannon mr puzzles childhood suck like- bro had no freinds crappy/neglectfull parents and overall a shit life back then like i sort of immagine his mom being like "shoo im buisy go watch TV or smthn" while on the phone or something idk sad sappy stuff- so little Winston Puzzles (if you have MR theres a first name so puzzles is last name, ITS WINSTON PUZZLES-) aNyWAYy- so puzzles just watched TV ALL. DAY. and probably went to school got bullyed for whatever reason :/ so the beginning basics of the story +Context dElUxE- when mr puzzles got older he bought the showgrounds (whitch in cannon used to be a circus/carnaval) so mr puzzles ran a carnaval place and did some sort of shows + amusement park stuff prbably for like a few years or a couple decades untul money came a problem or went out of buisness, (he still has his face btw lol) so he eventually closed the place and sorta abandoned it and probably the *iNteRnEt* was probably becomeing a thing by now (TV MAN OLDDD-) so he probably doom binges EVERYTHING on youtube in some apartment and works at MC deez or something- idk mOnEyY :/ eventualy yalls probably up at 5am waching Si-fi and stuff with robots get the idea of being a cyborg ither googleing 'hOw tO bE a cYborG EASY" on youtube like a maryos Plane Trip thing AKA Smg4 logic LMAO and probably winging it and then getting his SUppeR fAbulus and Iconic TV head and nows hes probably immortal now :/ (he was probably an old man by the time he finnisghed the body lol not to mention prototypes :/) then he probably did some evil villian laughter shit then downloadded the internet in his brain then eventualy selling the showgrounds to SMG4 and the rest of Puzzlevision continues :/
If yall read all that- WOW :/ its 1am and im typeing esays ;-; anyways this has been cooking in my brain for too long so now its all here now :/
*fades into the distance MEME STYLE B3*
9 notes · View notes