#its something like...it can be exciting but a lot of it reads like a stable drum

[gothamcityneedsme]

problem: i keep falling asleep reading this book

[cepheustarot]

Random facts about your future spouse

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: Your future spouse is younger than you, but by nature very responsible and mature, quite reasonable and soberly looks at life, objective and honest, not one of those who hides the truth, can sometimes be too straightforward. They may look harsh, cold and unapproachable, but next to you they are very gentle, romantic and caring. This person is very fond of arranging romantic surprises, and in general tends to devote a lot of time and attention to lover. They can often arrange dates or give you gifts, talk a lot of tenderness. They also take great care of their figure, they probably have an athletic physique and they can often exercise and monitor their diet to maintain their figure. Their profession or occupation is closely related to a managerial position, they can work in the field of law, research, in the field of exact sciences, in particular physics and mathematics, in the field of medicine. They are quite educated and constantly improve their skills, in their free time they prefer reading books or listening to lectures or videos on a narrow specialized topic. They may be from a conservative and religious family. They also don't really like stability, they like to change something in their lives, for example, they can often rearrange rooms, they can experiment with style, or they can often get out of the house and do something they like, because they don't like to stay at home for a long time.

Pile 2: Your future spouse is quite an intelligent, erudite person, when talking to them, you may get the impression that your spouse knows everything and can answer any of your questions — and they really understand many topics. Perhaps their line of work is closely related to writing texts, they may be interested in journalism, writing, philosophy, and like to watch documentaries. By their nature, they are very calm, they can be slow, they have a relaxed speech, posture, facial expression and in general they are very relaxed in life, they are probably one of those who do not worry about trifles and live one day. They are quite responsive, kind, talkative and like to chat a lot, but they also like to listen to others. Perhaps in the past they were fond of horse riding or they dream of trying to do it! They are also fond of gardening, perhaps their family has its own farm or a house outside the city with its own vegetable garden. They are not afraid of competition, on the contrary, competition only motivates them, adds excitement. This applies to everything, even games are taken seriously and can perceive games not as entertainment, but as competition, to win at any cost.

Pile 3: Your future spouse is a calm and reasonable person, they cannot be called conflicted, but if make them angry, they always know what to say so that they close their mouth to the interlocutor and that their opponent feels ashamed and regrets that he even started arguing. They have a stable job and a stable income, it's hard to say that they are striving for promotion, they are satisfied with what they have now, they are completely satisfied with their career. They can do charity work, volunteer from time to time, or work in animal shelters. Although they are calm for the most part, they tend to worry about their future from time to time, they can also have a lot of fears and they can panic too much when something does not go according to plan or when they face the slightest setback. By themselves, they are quite detached, they like to be alone, they are thoughtful and carefully choose their words before saying something and think a lot before doing anything. In terms of relationships, they are hardly romantic, but they are very loyal and will be with their loved one until the end, they respect their partner and support him in any decisions. The union with such a person is very strong and long.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 💕

[lagoonalake]

TXT IDEAL TYPE

YEONJUN

Personality: the magician, 2 of swords, ace of pentacles

He is attracted to a manifestor, someone who can help him make things happen, it sounds a bit opportunistic but from his perspective partnership should be about helping and being useful to one another, he likes someone intelligent, resourceful, a great communicator, sociable and with connections or knowledge, someone with a certain influence, not too emotional, more practical and brainy, witty, balanced, a thinker whose going to think hard before making a decision and is going to help him making his own decisions, charming and diplomatic, independent, connected to his circle or career libra, gemini, air signs, capricorn

Appearance: page of coins, the hanged man, 10 of cups

A fresh, youthful, cute appearance, clear skin, could prefer pale skin, blond hair or light colors in general, smells good, clear high pitch voice, homely, calm and slow movements, innocence, soft, nurturing quality cancer, pisces, virgo

Turn-offs: the star, 3 of wands, 7 of wands

Sappy, overly emotional or dramatic people, people who are disconnected from reality, people who exaggerate, drama queens, people who are ready to crush others to achieve their goals, bullies, selfishness.  aries, leo, negative cancer, sagittarius

SOOBIN

Personality: 5 of pentacles, 5 of cups, 7 of wands

Sad people, people who’ve been through it, who could need his help, he is attracted to the melancholic, tragic type, yet the type of person who is still trying hard, a combative person, maybe even a bit hardened by life, but still that he’d see as vulnerable, fragile, sensitive and passionate. I’m getting the vibe of a stray animal he would be trying to approach but the cat is a bit wild, but the moment he’d gain its trust he’d see how much this animal needs love. Same thing but with a human being, a wounded soul. He values the emotional bond and intimacy a lot. There could be some codependency but could be very healing, transformative and powerful too.  all water signs especially scorpio, capricorn, mars

Appearance: knight of swords, queen of pentacles, the chariot

Someone who looks like a fighter, strong, sturdy, fit, curvy hips or thighs, darker hair and skin, darker colors in general, active, powerful intense energy and movements, fierce, sharp eyes, sensual appearance, something about the body that he’d want to touch, feel, smell, raw energy, bigger or wider features. capricorn, taurus, aries, scorpio

Turn-offs: ace of wands, the hierophant, 9 of wands

Someone too easy to read, he likes when someone takes a while to open up or reveal themselves, not only does he finds this more attractive and exciting, but he also thinks it makes the bond more special, if someone is opening up too easily he doesn’t trust that person. Someone who is too boring, predictable or too similar to what he already knows, someone too traditional, who follows the rules to the point they have no personality and feel like a robot, someone who doesn’t let anybody in so that no emotional connection is possible, someone who never let their guard down, who shows no vulnerability or humanity. only fire and air in the chart, negative capricorn/taurus, aquarius

BEOMGYU

Personality: 6 of wands, the world, 6 of swords

Definitely could like a foreigner or someone who foreign connections or background, someone who shows him something different, someone happy go lucky, proud, someone he’d admire, someone impressive, a bit cocky, someone who only wants the good things in life, has no time for negativity, only wants the best, an idealistic person, brave, high achiever, focused on themselves and their success, with an impressive stable career, most likely a celebrity leo, sagittarius, sun, jupiter

Appearance: 2 of pentacles, justice, knight of wands

Balanced harmonious symmetrical features, someone who is conventionally beautiful just like him, who could look like him a bit, brown/reddish colors, strong curvy or plush thighs, could like a shorter and curvier body type, someone who can be both cute and sexy, a bit wild, tomboyish, more revealing outfits, imposing big presence no matter the height or stature, a more simple a bit messy style, messy hair, shorter hair, bangs, ripped jeans, hooded or slanted eyes, big and/or raspy voice, a good dancer and/or rapper aries, mars, taurus

Turn-offs: the high priestess, the lovers, 2 of cups

He seems allergic to romance XD, overly romantic people, hyper feminine people, too much softness, too many emotions, too much intimacy, someone who looks like they can read him like a book, somehow he feels uncomfortable when people try to get too close, people who act overly mysterious or are too passive, people who always consult him before making a decision (he likes independence), PDAs. I feel like there could be some unresolved issues going on here, especially knowing that Beomgyu is a scorpio moon and pisces sun, it’s like he is afraid of intimacy and doesn’t want to accept this part of himself. he is still attracted to all these other fiery qualities matching his aries venus, but something is missing.  all water signs in general, libra, venus

TAEHYUN

Personality: 5 of cups, 10 of cups, 9 of cups

Similar to Soobin, a very sensitive person who could need his strength, but not as tough and rough around the edges, more easy going, soft and family oriented, easily satisfied, who can see the good in many things, very kind and compassionate, a bit like a Disney princess lol, nurturing, understanding, likes to cuddle, very physically affectionate and needy, could be clingy, very loyal, would make a good mother, a safe haven for him to go back to at the end of the day, could be younger than him or simply make him feel like he is the more mature person, the provider, it’s a pretty traditional relationship, but very healing and loving cancer, pisces, jupiter, taurus

Appearance: page of cups, king of cups, knight of cups

Wow Taehyun really likes a water sign, he got all the cup cards, except for the queen. So a rather sensitive looking person, big or expressive deep eyes, cute, soft, round face, could prefer short hair, there is a masculine energy but very soft. The color blue, watery, siren like looks, dreamy, darker skin tone, big wide open features, soft skin, soft voice, magnetism, slower, softer more sensual movements, if he’d see someone with a pet or being kind to animals he would like it neptune, pisces, cancer, scorpio

Turn-offs: king of swords,queen of wands, the tower

Detached, cold, cruel people, extremely rational people who cannot connect with their emotions, narcissistic people, show-offs, people who only talk about themselves, attention seekers, loud, brash, boisterous people, drama queens, bullies. aquarius, saturn, leo, aries, mars 

HUENINGKAI

Personality: 4 of swords, 7 of pentacles, 6 of cups

He wouldn't let anyone in that easily, he'd have to know he can trust them before, so someone patient, determined, highly resistant, endurant, very giving, unconditional love. He may prefer a more platonic dynamic first. Someone observant, rational and who pays attention to others, someone reliable, a good shoulder to lean on, supportive, someone who has a way with words, soothing, healing words, a good advisor. He needs time before letting people in, but is interested in long term relationships and intimacy. Could be someone older or very mature. virgo, taurus, capricorn, cancer, libra, saturn

Appearance: the hermit, 6 of pentacles, the empress

Like Taehyun could like to see someone taking care of animals or pets. He's not easily impressed by looks, he may not like the plastic surgery look, prefers when he can see natural “flaws” (except he wouldn't see it as flaws) like natural skin tone…etc. Could prefer someone older or who looks mature, motherly. Kind face, rosy cheeks, curvy hips and chest, a “fertile” look, a natural, effortless, healthy, radiant, princess in a fairytale type of beauty.  libra, taurus, virgo, pisces

Turn-offs: ace of swords, high priestess, king of pentacles

Someone rude, simplistic in the way they think, unable to empathize, narrow minded, cruel, someone manipulative or nosy, someone who is trying to peer into his private life or secrets, someone who overshare informations, can’t keep a secret, can’t hold their mouth, someone overly materialistic, who shows off their money or possession, someone who puts too much importance on status and uses this to dominate others, someone boring only interested in their job, business and making money. gemini, negative scorpio, taurus, capricorn

[tothebestofmyabilities]

@seemoreseymoursbay day 3! OC day

So in the episode 'Bad Tina' Zeke mentions that his dads girlfriend just had a baby, assuming that the dads gf he talks about in early seasons is Cheryl his step mom and that the father of that baby is Zekes dad we can also assume that Zeke has a very young half sibling. And I did go ahead and assume all those things so this is Zekes baby sister Cherish (Cherry for short).

Used the prompt wonder wharf

Im gonna talk some more about her under the cut bc im sure that will devolve into infodumping zeke lore/headcanons and i dont want anyone to get stuck scrolling past a wall of text

Interestingly she's the only oc i have that's part of a different piece of media rather than one of my own projects.

She's a spunky little toddler for sure she's always got tons of energy, she's extremely confident and fearless constantly running off when she sees something that excites her or to ask strangers questions. She has a big sweet tooth but also loves spicy foods, off the top of my head I don't think its been discussed in canon where Zeke is from originally but recently I've been thinking of him and his bio mom as being from louisiana (projection on my part my mom is from louisiana and bc I like Zeke as a chef and the food there is soo good) I love the idea that his mom taught him to cook the local dishes and that he makes them for Cherry. She dresses in a chaotic mix of her own love of bright, clashing rainbow colors and dingey hand-me-downs from Zekes childhood and from their other cousins. I definitely think Zeke has adhd and Cherry does as well.

I tend to draw her/think of her around age 2 1/2- 3 (so when zeke is 16ish) but in canon time she'd still be a newborn. I love the idea of Zeke with a young sibling he's portrayed in the show as being super caring, protective of and loyal to the people be cares about, and good with younger kids all of which read as big brother qualities to me and he's also mentioned wanting siblings hes closer too. (He mentioned having a 44 year old brother in Presto Tina-o but also has said his bio mom was pregnant with him at her prom which is probably just a continuity error with his throway lines but taken at face value makes his dad out to be a gross old creep which is my personal headcanon idk if there's anyone out there who are big fans of Zeke's dad and step mom but my headcanons do not paint them in a nice light so beware of that)

Based on pretty much everything Zeke has ever said about his family I get the impression that the adults in his life are pretty neglectful and irresponsible and definitely not super present (he rarely ever speaks about his dad I hc him having a job that keeps him away from the family most of the time probably something like trucking and Zeke has mentioned Cheryl being an alcoholic I also hc her as much younger than the dad maybe she's a bartender? I definitely see her having a nightlife kind of job also for reference picture her as a redhead with blue eyes and a lot of tattoos that's where cherry gets her eyes and freckles)

I believe with Cherry a lot of parenting responsibilities would be placed on Zeke and while i think he has qualities that are really well suited to that the parentification of an older sibling is not ok and would negatively impact him, I like the idea of him applying for a job at Bob's Burgers bc he needs a more stable way to provide financially than doing odd jobs around town and not only getting a job but also getting a support system and adults who care about him and his sister and their wellbeing. I think Bob would take Zeke under his wing and help him make himself and his education a priority (the belchers helping out with Cherry when they can so he can focus more on school and extra curriculars) and help him get into a culinary school after graduation. Linda would fall completely in love with her (we know how much she loves babies) and basically treat Cherry like she's her own grandbaby. They all babysit her when needed but Louise is her favorite babysitter and maybe person also she really looks up to Louise and likes to imitate her fashion style and the way she speaks, Louise would pretend that this annoys her but not so secretly finds it adorable.

Anyways clearly i could go on and on but ill just cut myself off there hope y'all like her!

[eunkitarot]

Jake as a bf a tarot read:

Five of Cups: idk usually i dont link to star signs and would read it solely with the card itself. But 5 of c is closely connected to scorpio. Jake is scorpio rising and scorpio venus. Scorpios tend to be very emotionally sensative and they tend to dwell on losses. They have a hard time to focus on the positives. So as a bf, Jake would be someone that need reassurances and a partner that can cheer him up and tell him that everything will be okay. If he thinks he messed up, he would feel very regretful. ' I could have done better' . Because of this too , it could cause Jake to have difficulties forgiving if you mess up. Because scorpios like to relive past events and go through the hurt all over again. Makes sense why they are one of the most revengeful signs. But I am not saying this about Jake specifically, more as for Scorpios generally.

EDIT YALL: apparently some ppl think he is LEO RISING and some ppl say he is LIBRA rising also scorpio rising. So we are not really sure here cause we dont know the time of birth. But his venus is scorpio so i think this more to his venus then. The way he loves. The inner conflict and emotional turmoil.

The devil: this card touches on desires.as a bf he may be someone that have high sexual drive. I think this is a side that only his partner will know. It can be pretty tiring for his partner because his demands can be a lot. Jake as a bf is someone that can also be seductive towards his partner. So in this aspect, as bf he will fulfill it well.

Ten of Pentacles:as a bf he wants something stable and definitely long term. And to be honest he would want to have a family with you if given the chance. He is a person that believes in settling down eventually. Start a family with someone he loves, have kids sent them to school. He is all about that life. Maybe not now but eventually.

Knight of swords: as a bf , jake would be someone that is action oriented. Can be someone that is head over heart here. In terms of your relationship, he might be quick in making decisions and it can be a bit rash. He is not afraid to take risk though, so if you are going through something , he will just try to solve it as soon as possible for u and if its high risk. He would take it anyways, as long as you are alright. However this focus on intellect and action can sometimes lead to a lack of emotional sensitivity or awareness on his part.

Overall energy, Knight if wands:so similar to knight of swords they are both fast moving. So this can indicate Jake can be impulsive in his actions. But with this card, as a bf he is very passionate and fiery. Very high energy. He can have high vitality in bed and also just overall in your relationship. Jake will be very excited to be with you and would do anything for you. Very spontaneous energy.

This read is the most unclear read among the members to me. I struggle to describe the cards here. Which rarely happens. So to me Jake is not letting me really read into what type of bf he is. There is something secretive and private here compare to other members. Very scorpio of him. He is not letting his cards seen. Anyways a gift for yall and edit that perfectly embodies Jake Sim for u🤭

Credit on ig :@/daemsiel

[donnabenevientosimpingzone]

Hey! Now that you’re back I wanted to ask about Resident Lover? I remember you were on the team- but then the game came out and your name wasn’t on the dev list... what happened?

I can’t escape this question can I- and for those of you who messaged me, I did delete them in hopes of avoiding this- but I don’t want rumours to spread so lemme be transparent.

Also pls read this for how I’m handling coming back to this blog: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/741337986608873472/complex-feelings-and-absolute-pandemonium-about-my

No, I wasn’t kicked off the team, nor was I invited back when I left- and they made the right choice doing that. I was not mentally stable. I didn’t take the project seriously, I had jealousy issues, and didn’t take criticism well- I self destructed badly- blew up and burned that bridge to ashes, not to mention what sorta hurt I caused the team.

It did hurt a lot when I saw the game release. I was so upset, and spent so many weeks thinking about “what if I didn’t fuck up”. But there are no “what ifs” in history, we are meant to go through what we do in order to become the best versions of ourselves. The whole ordeal was part of the last push I needed to finally seek professional help. And the fact it still hurts whenever I see it around means I still care and carry guilt about everything that happened.

I’m practicing exposure therapy to try and heal that gaping wound. RE8 has turned my life completely on its head and I don’t want to abandon it- the best outcome will be the day I can download and play the game and find it within myself to genuinely love it with no more wounds to lick- but for now I’m content with seeing it float around every once in a while on my dash.

Out of respect- I hope none of you will pester the devs about this either. They did something amazing, and I’m so proud of what they’ve accomplished. Out of all of them I really miss MJ. They were the best, most hilarious friend- I always thought they were super attractive- and the whole reason the game was possible. Show them some love- idk message them “you’re cool!” for me or something. Anon ask if you have to. Don’t tell them I’m the one who sent you- I think it’ll be funny to just have a whole buncha people messaging them outta nowhere bahaha

And with that I hope this clears it up and stops people from messaging anymore about it. It’s still a sensitive wound I’m working to heal and I’d like to do it at my own pace<3 I don’t regret the experience, I’m in such a better place now because of it. I would love to make peace with my past self and accept the pain as a part of growing.

Until then enjoy me going back to my usual shenanigans before all the shit hit the fan. I’m very excited to draw more Spider Donna and Beneviento Sisters, I hope y’all enjoy it too<3

Update edit: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/737803172475781120/stupid-lil-update-i-wanna-do-as-per-my-pinned

Update! https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/737980137572892672/people-who-knowknew-me-personally-probably-arent

Update that shows old sprite: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/738487941680316416/want-me-as-a-professor-okay-damn-ignore-the

Update where I rant about Angie and Daniela with a cat: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/740499151828156416/can-we-see-the-png-of-the-angie-sprite-holding-a

Update about the dangie ask on the RL blog: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/742312364040454144/hey-just-a-heads-up-that-the-rl-team-recently

[ssuperficialspacecadett]

Roll Call

Chapter Two of the Through the Scope series | Chapter Three

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4K

TW: (Very) subtle hint at SA in readers past, gym member being creepy

Chapter Overview: Today is your first day at Brass Knuckles Boxing Gym. Benny has a surprise for you after your shift.

Notes: Hey everyone ! Still no set posting schedule, but I managed to get this one done this week. I have a pretty packed week coming up so I can't make any promises as to when chapter three will come out. thanks for dealing with me (': happy reading <3

*no use of y/n & female presenting reader*

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Your alarm clock makes its presence known bright and early this morning. Normally getting up for work on a Monday isn’t anything that you would be overly excited about, but today is your first day working at Brass Knuckles. It’s also your first day getting back into a stable work and life routine. Which is something you have been craving since you moved. You feel like a nervous child the morning of a school field trip. The good kind of nervousness that buzzes around inside your body and lingers. 

After hopping out of the shower, you head into your bedroom. You see your phone lying haphazardly on your bed and think about texting Benny to ask what you should wear today. He didn’t strike you as the kind of guy to enforce a dress code at work, but you also didn’t want to look out of place. Oh fuck it. He didn’t say anything negative about the jeans and t-shirt that you were wearing while you toured the gym. Might as well just wear something in the same vein as that to play it safe. 

You slip into your clothes and wander back into the bathroom with your phone in hand. The bags under your eyes are a physical testament to all the stress you have been and are under currently. Maybe some light makeup you say to yourself. It’s not as if you had any intention of trying to find a boyfriend here much to Robbie’s dismay. You just didn’t want anyone to think that Benny hired a walking corpse to greet the guests. You check the time on your phone and realize that you need to leave right about now to make it to the gym by 7:30 A.M.. Benny had texted you over the weekend asking you to come in half an hour early so he could give you the rundown of what you need to be taking care of on a regular day to day basis. Your shoes get thrown on and you grab your tote bag as you run out the door to your car.

Thankfully Brass Knuckles is only a 15-20 minute drive from your apartment. You pull into the parking lot and turn your car off before taking out your phone. You text your dad to remind him that your new job starts today so you will be coming by to see him after 8:00 P.M. Monday-Saturday. When he quickly texts back you’re a bit surprised. You would think retirement meant sleeping in.

Dad: Have a good day, Sweet Pea! Make some friends. Remember to hit them in the throat and in the balls.”

You smile and heart the message on your phone. This is your dads not so subtle way of reminding you where men are the most sensitive. Since according to him, you were walking into the lion's den by working here. As you climb out of the car your smile drops. Maybe if you would have remembered his advice when you were 19, things would have ended differently.

“Are you ready?!”

There was only one voice you knew that had the capability to be that loud this early in the morning. You look up quickly to see Benny waving and holding the gym door open for you. 

“Morning, Benny! Yes, I think I am.” You say slipping past him to get inside. 

“That’s what I like to hear outta my employees!” 

You set your tote bag down on the desk and take a deep breath in. It still reeks, but less so now that the smell has had time to dissipate between closing and opening shifts. Benny comes up behind you and pats your shoulder encouragingly as he walks behind the desk. 

“Come on, let me show you how everythin’ is setup.”

Benny has you sit in the chair so you can get a feel for things while he teaches you how to operate the scheduling system. He shows you how to login to the program under your profile and then how to access each individual client once you’re inside. You notice that he set your profile picture to the selfie you sent the other night. It seems to be a pretty straight forward program, you note. You are able to see, create, and control Benny’s one on one training appointments up to three months in advance. He gets excited when you figure out, on your own, that you can color code clients. You’re pretty sure that he didn’t know how to do that before, but he looked so happy that you didn’t have the heart to say anything. 

Once the two of you cover all of the bases for the scheduling program he moves on to the ‘easier’ tasks, as he calls them, that you are incharge of. He shows you how to scan membership cards with the scan gun on the desk and how to register new members when they ask. He shows you how to sell and print out tickets for the Friday fights. You feel him pull your chair away from the desk and see a small black, mini fridge underneath it. 

“This is where we keep the complimentary water for the guests. Just make sure to keep this stocked throughout the day. If it ever gets low we have cases in the laundry room.”

He checks the time on his phone while he scoots you and your chair back into the correct position. 

“Last thing you need to worry about is unlocking the door at 8:00 A.M.. As for me and my tasks? I help train people, obviously, look over finances, and take care of the music.” 

“You have time to queue up songs?”

“I make time to queue up songs.”

You were grateful for his help this morning. And even more grateful that he did it in a way that didn’t come across as condescending or like he was babying you. You got the feeling that he really did trust you with the work you were assigned even after only just meeting you. 

“You’re gonna do great today! Feel free to make the desk your own too.”

“Thanks, Benny.”

You walk with him from out behind the desk and lean against the brick wall as he heads into his office. 

“Oh,” he calls back to you before disappearing into the small room. “The guys are going to swing by around closing time. They wanted to see who they were drinking too the other night. I might have also talked you up to them.”

After he drops that bomb, Benny walks out of sight. You have no idea what to do with this information. Benny talked so highly of them the other day, so it makes you nervous that he wants you to meet them. Yet, the more you think about it the more you warm to the idea. He must feel like he found a friend in you the same way you did in him. You walk around the desk and head to the front door to unlock it. Cars have already begun to pull into the once empty lot signaling that your day has started whether you're ready for it or not. 

The first few hours of your shift crawl by at a snail’s pace. Two or three guests come in an hour. Each one of them mindlessly handing you their membership card to scan before they enter the gym. This gives you plenty of time to play around and really get to know the inner workings of the scheduling program. You want to make sure that there isn’t anything you aren’t prepared for. Benny, bless his heart, checks in with you just before 12:00 P.M..

“A lot of people come in here to burn off some steam durin’ their lunch breaks. It will be pretty packed for the next hour-hour and a half, but then it will go back to how it was this mornin’.”

God is he right. An endless stream of new faces begin coming at you soon after the clock strikes noon. Some of them don’t say anything, some of them offer you a polite greeting, and some of them take it upon themselves to welcome you in their own special way.

“You’re new, huh? I could show you a move or two in the ring if you want.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow if you promise me that you will be too.”

You just smile sweetly and scan their card with a simple ‘enjoy your visit’ to help move the lingerers along. The rush dies down a couple hours later, again just like Benny said it would. Honestly, you are a little bit sad that it's over. Time went by much quicker in those few hours and you finally felt useful. 

When shopping for furniture online in between helping guests check in got boring, you look for tasks you can take care of that venture past the desk. During your initial tour of the gym, you remember seeing a dirty clothes basket that was designated for towels. You figure that this late in the day it should be full enough to do a load of laundry. 

You walk inside the gym, weaving out of guests' way, and collect the used towels. It’s not too heavy so you carry it to the laundry room and dump all of the contents into the washer. You use the detergent that's on the shelf and close the machine's lid. Benny must have seen you walk in here because he walks up next to you as you press the ‘start’ button. 

“It’s a stubborn ‘ole son of a bitch so you gotta show it a little bit of extra love to get it goin’.”

You jump slightly when he rams the side of his foot into the washer. Unsurprisingly, it comes to life after he does this. For the third time today, Benny is once again correct. You look around the small room as the washer hums and see a photo hanging on the wall. It shows Benny arm in arm with three men you have never seen before.

“Are these your friends?” You point to the picture and ask Benny.

“Yup!” You can hear the pride in his voice as he says this. “That one on the right is Will, my older brother. The handsome devil next to him is yours truly. Then there’s Pope-”

“Pope?”

“Yeah, his name is technically Santiago, but we all call him Pope. It was his call sign when we served together and it just kinda stuck. We all have one, well I technically don’t, but I’d like to think mine is Brass Knuckles. It fits well with Will’s since his call sign is Ironhead.”

“That’s really sweet.”

“I like to think so.” he says bashfully. “ And last but not least…the one on the left is Catfish or Frankie.”

You nod along to what Benny is saying, but you would be lying if you said you were listening anymore. Your attention stays on the man in the left of the photo: Frankie. You could tell he hadn’t had a haircut in a while when the photo was taken. His thick, brown curls came up to lick the sides of the ‘Standard Heating Oil’ cap he wore. He had a full mustache that looked as if it was mocking the patchiness of his beard. You didn’t mind it. You thought it made him look more approachable. One of the most handsome noses you had ever seen sat atop his mustache. It was deeply sloped and came to a soft curve at the end. He’s laughing in the photo which makes the skin around his eyes wrinkle in an endearing way.

“You comin’ or what?” 

Unbeknownst to you, Benny had walked out of the laundry room while you were still captivated by the photograph on the wall. Or more specifically one of the men in the photograph. 

“Shit, my bad.”

Reluctantly you pull yourself away and walk back to the front desk with him. Your timing couldn’t have been more perfect either because his 4:00 P.M. appointment walks through the door right as you two arrive. Thankfully, Benny is so wrapped up in talking with the other man that he doesn’t notice how quiet you have gone. While your body may have left the laundry room, your mind is still very much there. You check him in and hand both men a water bottle before they head back for their workout. 

You sit restlessly in your chair as you watch the hands on the clock above the door chase one another. No one has come in since Benny’s last appointment, but you know that will change soon. It’s almost 5:00 P.M. which means the after work rush is on the horizon. You hear Benny faintly as he talks to his client and you find yourself wondering what goes on in his sessions. It feels safe to abandon your post for a few seconds so you stand up and peek your head around the brick wall. Benny has dawned some gloves with pads attached to the palms of them. 

“You got it, man! Right in the center! Yeah, just like that, great job!”

He carries on with his encouraging words as the man across from him continues to make contact with the padded gloves. You hear him tell the man to hit harder and in a more controlled manner. When he does this, Benny showers him with praise. It warms your heart to see him in action. You can really tell that this isn’t just a job for him. This is his whole life. 

The doorbell rings out and you look behind you to greet the client.

“Oh don’t turn around my account, darlin’. I was admiring the view.” 

He wasn’t a very tall man, but what he lacked in height he made up for in misplaced confidence. He was attractive in an average sort of way. The kind of way that wouldn’t make you do a double take on the street if you saw him. However, you could give credit where credit was due. He had great hair. It was thick and raven in color and combed in an almost meticulous way. 

“Welcome to Brass Knuckles. How can I help you today, sir?” you say, biting back your new found annoyance.

“I have a 5:00 P.M. appointment with Miller. I decided to come in early to warm up and I’m happy that I did. What’s your name?”

You ignore his inquiry about your name and take a seat in your chair. When you check the schedule you see his name, Ed Brunson, under the 5 o’clock spot.

“Ed? Let me get you checked in. Benny will be with you once he finishes with his 4 o’clock.”

“You can call me Eddie, darlin’.”

“Want me to put it in your file or what?” Now unable to hide your disdain. 

“Oh you're spunky. I like that.”

Benny jogs up to the front drenched in sweat. You take advantage of his current state and ignore Brunson to grab him a water bottle. 

“Brunson, you’re on time,” He takes a gulp of water. “That’s a first.”

You watch as Benny cautiously looks between you and Brunson as he polishes off the refreshing drink.

“I was just trying to get acquainted with your new receptionist here.”

“New receptionist, this is Brunson. Brunson, this is my new receptionist. Now y’all are acquainted.” His tone is flat as he says this.

You have to pretend to do something on your computer so you don’t snort at Benny’s ‘in depth’ introduction of you.

“I don’t get to know her name, Miller?”

“Did you come here to practice runnin’ your mouth or to practice throwin’ your fists?”

Brunson chuckles lightly and holds his hands up in defeat. You dare to glance up at the two men and see a weird tension in between them. Another guest walks in so Brunson takes it as his queue to head back into the gym. Benny stays up there with you as you scan the new guests card. 

“What was all that about?” you question when the two of you are alone again. 

“I don’t fuckin’ like that guy. I’ve been itchin’ for a reason to ban him from this place. Did he- did he say anything to you before I got here?”

“Just regular run of the mill meathead shit I suppose.”

“Are you sure?” He presses.

“I’m fine, Benny, really.”

“But you’ll let me know?”

“Yes, I’ll let you know. I’m a big girl though. I can handle myself. Now you better get back there, you wouldn’t want to keep that peach of a man waiting.”

He laughs, but seems a bit wary of your answer. You wave at him as he walks into what you’re sure will be a very strange session. Before you forget, you make sure to color code Brunson’s name in a bright shade of red.

***

You’re grateful when 7:30 P.M. finally rolls around. You think you could classify your first day here as a success. It may have droned on at times, but you had Benny to keep you company which made all the difference in the world. As you put the last of your things in your tote bag you make a mental note to bring some stuff from home to jazz up your desk. After all, Benny did say that you could make the desk your own. Maybe a cute potted plant in that corner, a new pen jar up there, an air freshener right here? You’re mapping it all out in your head when you see a tired looking white pickup truck pull into the almost empty lot. Three men get out and start heading in your direction. They aren’t dressed for a workout-? Oh fuck they’re Benny’s friends.

The closer they get to the door, the more easily you are able to identify them based on the photo in the laundry room. You don’t know why you have a knot in your stomach all of a sudden. You feel completely crazy for being so jittery over their approaching presence. The man Benny referred to as ‘Pope’ walks in first, followed by Will and then Frankie. You stand, a bit awkwardly, when they approach the front desk. 

“Well you must be the reason my wallet is a lot lighter than it usually is.” Pope theorizes as he leans his forearms on the desk. He’s got a playful grin plastered on his salt and peppered face when he speaks to you.

“Guilty,” you confess. “You must be Pope or Santiago. I’m not really sure which one I’m allowed to call you.”

“You can call me whichever one you’d like. Did Benny give you an exposé on all of us?”

“Kissing and telling wouldn’t be a good way to end my first day, don't ‘cha think?” 

Will laughs heartily as he steps up to greet you next. “William Miller,” you shake the hand he offers you. “I hope Benny wasn’t too much to handle today.”

“Actually he was really helpful, but I’m getting the sense that's not always the case with him.” 

All three men shake their heads in confirmation with your statement. Last to approach you is Frankie. You feel your heartbeat quicken as you realize he is much more handsome in person. His eyes also look considerably sadder than they were in the picture. 

“And you must be Frankie-”

“Hey boys!” 

Benny comes barreling out from behind the brick wall and greets each man with a bear hug. You smile when you see the love each of them has for one other. It’s really nice to see a group of men express that so readily. When Benny makes his way to Frankie the two of you make eye contact. Something about those deep brown eyes on you makes your ears hot and you have to look away. 

“So whaddya think?” Benny says to you when he finally lets Frankie go.

“The picture Benny has in the laundry room doesn’t do y’all justice.”

“Well I could say the same thing about you.” Pope quips.

Your jaw hangs open and you turn your attention to Benny. “So thats why you asked for a fucking photo the other night! You little shit!”

“No! No! You saw that I set it as your login picture! It was Frankie’s idea anyhow!”

“You!?” you snap your head towards Frankie who looks like he has just seen a ghost.

“Don’t you fucking pin that on me, Benny! I just told you how to ask for it in a non creepy way! Pope was the one who originally wanted it!”

“Pope!” you whine in his direction. 

“Okay. Okay. The buck stops here. You caught me. I got curious and couldn’t help myself.” 

“And I guess you were just along for the ride then, huh, Will?”

“That’s usually how it goes.” He shrugs innocently. 

Benny continues talking with his friends while you log out of the computer and shut it down for the night. As you do this, you can’t help but feel like there are eyes on you. You keep your own gaze on the computer and listen in. You hear Benny so it can’t be him. Pope just made a snide comment so it isn’t him either. There Will goes laughing up a storm at what Pope just said. The only one it could be is…

“Are you going to be joining us at the bar tonight?” Pope queries. 

“I’m flattered, really, but I have a previous engagement.”

“You’re breaking my heart.”

“Lay off, Pope.” Will gives him a playful shove. “Well the invitation doesn’t expire, so maybe when you’re free next?”

“Thanks guys. I’ll keep that in mind for sure. It was really nice to meet y’all!”

Everyone says their goodbyes as Will, Frankie, and Pope head out the door towards The Barrel. You swear you see Frankie turn around one last time before he gets bathed in the darkness of the night. Then it’s just you and Benny again. The way it started.

“So? How was your first day?”

He happily walks across the parking lot with you to your car after insisting that you shouldn’t go alone. You take a deep breath of the humid night air and feel it clearing out your lungs. 

“Besides the intense and constant smell of male body odor it wasn’t half bad.” 

“Oh, fuck off.”

“No, I’m dead serious. We have got to do something about that.”

He waits patiently for you to get in your car and crank the engine on. You look up at him before you drive away, but you see him motioning for you to roll your window down. 

“Yeah?”

He rests his forearms where your window disappeared into your car. “I’m glad you want to stick around. I’m even more glad you got along with my friends. We’re kind of a fucked up bunch. But I swear we are cool once you get to know us.”

You smile sadly at him as you pull out of the parking lot. He follows behind your car as you exit the lot and get into the street. Then he crosses over to the bar on his own. You watch him in your rearview mirror until you can no longer tell the difference between him and the shadows. Part of you wants to turn around, join them at their table, and see where the night takes you. It would be so freeing. It would be exactly what you need. Unfortunately, your better judgment takes over and you punch your dads address into your GPS. Maybe you will award yourself that luxury another night. You pull out your phone and press on your dads contact before your silly, little heart tips the scale inside your brain in its favor. 

“Hey, are you still awake?”

“Well I answered the phone didn’t I?” he says sarcastically.

“Touché, dad. I’m headed your way right now.”

“Did you make any friends today?”

You feel a coy smile play across your lips before you speak. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I did actually.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[softholand]

spidey kisses | tom holland

pairing: tom holland x youtuber!reader

summary: tom gets a little jealous when he finds out, through your old high school journals, that another spider-man had your teenage heart

warnings: a tiny bit of cursing i think

words: 1.7k

a/n: i wrote this??? after almost a year without writing anything??? what??? this is so random, i know but i had this idea a long time ago so when inspiration finally came i decided to just do it lol this is another part of my youtuber!reader series but it can also be read on its own. i really hope you guys like it, pls let me know what you think, your feedback is always appreciated 🫶

You positioned your camera on top of one of the dozens of boxes filling your soon-to-be, old living room. The box labeled KITCHEN was the chosen one to work as a tripod, and as you adjusted the lenses of your camera, you prayed it’d be stable enough for you to film your video. “You ready?” Tom asks as he exits the kitchen, rubbing his hands together. “Almost. Sit down so I can make sure it’s centered.” You tell him, watching in the visor of your camera as he takes a seat on your sofa.

Once everything is ready, you press the play button and start recording, before taking a seat next to your boyfriend. “Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel! I have a special guest with me on today’s video, which isn’t that special anymore since he likes… shows up in every other one of my videos now. No offense." As you turn your head to look at your boyfriend, you catch his dumbfounded expression. “Some taken.” He feigns being upset about your words before introducing himself to the camera.

With a shake of your head, you continue. “If you follow me on Instagram, then you already know this but… we are moving.” You and Tom say in unison. “Actually, I am the one moving.” You correct yourself. “Yeah, we were basically already living together so it just didn’t make sense having two separate places,” Tom explains to the camera. “So now I’m moving out of my apartment into this one’s place.” You bump your shoulder against your boyfriend and he smiles at you.

“Anyways, my living room is now full of boxes, so much so that my camera is currently sitting on top of at least three of them.” You laugh. “The thing is, when you move, you end up finding stuff you didn’t even know you had, and that’s exactly what today’s video is about.” You tell the camera, getting a box from behind your couch. “As I was looking through my old stuff, I found these.” You laugh at Tom’s clueless face. “These are my high-school journals.” You say, watching as he starts eagerly rummaging through them. “Holy shit! I can’t believe you still have it.” Tom exclaims, already picking one. “Right? So yeah, I thought it’d be fun to go through them and see what my teenage self was like. Oh, and embarrass myself, of course.” You laugh, watching as Tom flips through the pages.

Once your boyfriend finds something, he turns one of the pages to you. “Look at this!” He says excitedly, showing you a page full of collages of One Direction pictures. “Oh my God, I was a real One Direction fan when I was younger.” You say, already feeling your cheeks burning. “Can I show them?” Tom asks. “Go ahead!” You nod, laughing at his excited expression. “You’re really having fun with this, huh?” You laugh, going back to the pages. “You have no idea!” Tom says with a huge smirk on his face.

After flipping through more pages, you found an entry that makes you laugh. “August 9: “Today was a good day. Brendan asked what brand my sneakers were. I told him: “Adidas”, and he said: “Nice!” before walking off.” God, I can’t believe I’m putting this out there on the internet. You remember Brendan?” You asked, feeling your cheeks grow warm. “Not really. Was he your crush?” Tom said, a smirk still plastered on his lips. “Yep! I think we’ll see him pop up a lot of times here.” You said, rolling your eyes at your boyfriend’s smug look.

As you continued to look through the journals, you kept finding more and more entries about Brendan, just like you thought. “August 15: “Today Brendan gave me a hug. He said I smelled good and when I said he did too, he laughed. I like his laugh. I think I’m in love with him.” Oh, you’re not honey!” You laughed, feeling embarrassed. “Oh, that escalated quickly!” Tom let it out while searching your other journal. “That’s not fair! All you have here is One Direction collages.” Your boyfriend groaned. “Yeah, I think that one was like my scrapbook. This one has the good stuff.” You laughed.

With a little more rummaging, Tom showed you a page covered with The Hunger Games pictures. “Ah yes, my old The Hunger Games days.” You chuckled, rolling your eyes at your boyfriend, who seemed pretty entertained with a page dedicated to Peeta. “I definitely remember him being your favorite,” Tom asked. “Yeah, he still is and to this day I still love this franchise.” You proudly exclaimed, watching your boyfriend nod. “Yeah, they’re pretty good.” Tom let it out.

Bringing your attention back to the journal in your hands, you found an entry that made you laugh. “Oh, this is a big one! September 22: “Brendan and I shared our first kiss today. It was perfect, I just wish we had more time before Ashley saw us.” You read, looking at your boyfriend to gauge his reaction. “Was that your first kiss?” Tom asked. “No, my first kiss was with a guy named Lucas, behind one of the school’s gates. The headmaster caught us and we got suspended.” That made your boyfriend laugh, to the point he was clutching his stomach.

“I honestly don’t remember any of this,” Tom mumbled. “Yeah, you were kinda busy becoming an international movie star.” You smiled, earning a roll of eyes from him. “Who was this Ashley girl?” Your boyfriend asked, giving you his full attention. “I think she liked Brendan at the time, I don’t actually remember.” You said, trying to work through your memories. “What I do know is that Brendan and I didn’t last long after that.” You shrugged. “Bye Brendan.” Tom gave the camera an adorable little wave, making you chuckle.

After a couple of minutes, you turned to your boyfriend, who seemed pretty into this whole thing. “Did you find anything good?” You asked. “Nah, just more collages of One Direction.” He shrugged, turning a few more pages before stopping on one of them. “Oh, my God!” Your boyfriend gasped, turning the journal away so you couldn’t see what he had found. “What?” You asked, watching as his eyes grew wide. “What is it? Is it bad? Tell me!” You practically pleaded, wanting nothing more than to reach for the journal and snatch it out of your boyfriend’s hands. “I cannot believe you did this!” Tom shook his head, seemingly disappointed with you. “What did I do? Stop gatekeeping it from me.” You begged, finally getting Tom to show you what he was hiding.

Two whole pages of the journal were covered with pictures of Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man. In the center of it, a heart with another picture of Andrew and the words: “Favorite Spider-Man Ever” scribbled in your handwriting. “Oh shit!” Was all you could say, as you tried your best to keep yourself from laughing. Tom kept looking at you as you fought back your smile. “I’m sorry, baby!” You tried hugging your boyfriend but he pushed you away. “You really hurt my feelings with this one.” Tom choked, using all his actor qualities to fake a few tears.

Reaching for the journal, you found more pages filled with Andrew Garfield and Spider-Man pics. “God, I remember being obsessed with the Spectacular Spider-Man movies.” You added, flipping through more pages. “This is humiliating!” Tom mumbled, shaking his head in disappointment. “Shut up! You were a big fan too.” You exclaimed, biting back a smile. “Not to the point of writing about him in my journal.” Your boyfriend whined, making you chuckle. “In my defense, I didn’t know you were going to play Spider-Man one day when I wrote this.” You gave Tom your best puppy eyes. “I think we should talk about this whole moving situation,” Tom mumbled, and you could see he was holding back a smile. “Oh, shut up!” You laughed, flipping him off.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Tom take his phone out and snap a picture of some of the pages. “What are you doing?” You asked, furrowing your eyebrows. “I have to send these to Andrew.” Your boyfriend replied, a huge smirk dancing on his lips. “No fucking way!” You exclaimed, taking his phone out of his hands. “What? Why not?” Tom asked, biting back a smile. “Are you kidding? I will not be able to look at his face anymore.” You said.

Closing both of the journals, you stuffed them back into the box they came from. “Oh, c’mon!” Your boyfriend tried again but you were not having it. “Don’t even waste your time. You’re not convincing me.” You told him. “I’ll just send him this video.” Tom shrugged, laughing at your murderous expression. “Don’t you dare, Thomas! I’ll cut your balls off!” You said, giving him a warning look.

After checking for how long you’ve been filming, you decided it was time to end the video. “Well, I think that’s enough for today. Maybe we can come back another time to look through my other journals. As always, make sure to give this video a big thumbs up if you liked it, and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel if you haven’t already. Anything to say?” You turned to your boyfriend. “Thank you for having me once again. It was really fun!” Tom smiled, putting one of his arms behind your back. “Thank you for watching, I love you guys and I’ll see you in my next video. Bye!” After a little wave, you got to your feet and turned the camera off.

As you turned back to your boyfriend, you caught him already looking at you. “You were not actually jealous, right?” You asked, wanting to make sure you two were good. “Nah, I was just playing along,” Tom said, watching as you approached him and collapsed on his lap. “Good, because Andrew could have my heart back then but you one hundred percent own it now.” You smiled, folding your arms behind his neck. “Yeah?” Your boyfriend smirked, taking hold of your hips. You nodded, lowering your mouth to his. “Now give me a kiss, Spidey!” The words had barely left your lips before Tom captured them on his own with such fervency you doubted his previous words.

[dnpvtw]

seen a lot of tarot reads about dnp lately and i was already doing a personal read so. giving my cards enrichment by asking them about someone other than me for once.

so i was originally doing a three-card draw of situation + action + outcome, but i was drawn to two dif cards for situation/action AND i have a really chaotic shuffling style where the chariot popped out twice so its there at the end to kind of contextualize the entire draw.

situation (what is the current state of affairs?):

Ten of Cups: Divine love, blissful relationships, harmony, alignment

King of Wands (Reversed): Impulsiveness, haste, ruthless, high expectations

action (what actions can one take, or are currently taking, to address the situation?):

Queen of Cups (main pull!): Compassionate, caring, emotionally stable, intuitive, in flow

The Sun: Positivity, fun, warmth, success, vitality

outcome (what kind of result can you expect from taking that action?):

The Hierophant (Reversed): Personal beliefs, freedom, challenging the status quo

contextual pull:

The Chariot: Control, willpower, success, action, determination

commentary:

okay why is this so cute. what im reading, at least, is that despite having faced a lot of pressure/expectations about their relationship, theyre in a much better/happier/more compassionate place with themselves and their audience, and whatever theyre up to is going to result in some degree of new and exciting personal freedom building off of this happiness. and considering the chariot card, there is absolutely something actionable theyre working towards. its not anything super straightforward regarding WHAT theyre doing, but like. however it shakes out theyre so absurdly happy to do/share it. which is absurdly cute. whatever they make me sick.

(@freckliedan i know youre tracking stuff + that we saw some chariots/hierophants in a few pulls..... throws in a couple more duplicates)

[rxqueenxgirl]

HOW IS YOUR LIFE GOING TO BE IN 10 YEARS ? ♡

if you want a reading more in depth you can massage me on private or you can know more about my paid readings here!

take a deep breath and pick a pile!

pile 1:

in 10 years you'll accomplish a lot of knowledge. Your life will be stable and you'll know how to properly balance it. Your obstacle will be your financial freedom and the first steps to become independent. In this process you'll overcome some roots from relashionships in your life, what once was so traditional suddenly doesn't feel right to the new person you're becoming, it doesn't includes a big harm, just a brutal change in the way you saw them.

In your path, the positivity comes from realization. You worked and studied a lot, went through hard phases and all you have are reasons to be proud of yourself. Nonetheless, the people you'll meet are the source of negativity. Your workfield or friend circle makes a significant part of your life, you'll be trapped for the fact you all work for something bigger than you. They will demand too much, they will feel jealous, they will use their time on bad energies. Be careful.

pile 2:

In 10 years your life will be chaotic, like a battlefield with angels and demons. Something (maybe a big tragedy) will change the way you see the world around you, you'll see all the things that had been hidden from you. At first, you'll hit your lowest point, but you'll soon realize it was necessary to open your eyes and you will have a new purpose. You become a little too ambitious due to your rebellion, that can have a moral or religious meaning behind. You feel free, but don't set limits on danger and start to think that everything that was prohibited before is a blessing when it can actually be dangerous.

But you are finally free. You'll look back and have many regrets, but never of what you became. Maybe you'd be a little less inconsequential if you had the chance, but you'll see it was so liberating at the time you wouldn't think like that.

pile 3:

In 10 years your life will be very dynamic, full of extreme choices, some might take you to riches and fun stories, but with danger in the corner. Gladly, you'll overcome the excess and materialism brought by the start of that adventure. You'll dive deeper into a relationship, you love your romantic interest and submit yourself for them, this is where the bad things in your life will come from. You'll feel more mature and more flourished, but all along you're just in a tiring position you can't get out of for the sake of "something bigger", which is just something to keep you impotent.

There is prosperity on your way, but no freedom. You reap the fruits of happiness, but not the quantity you really deserve.

pile 4:

in 10 years you'll find a new love, something or someone that overflows your feelings. At first, there's so much excitement you just turn blind to everything around you, but you'll have to learn how to put that emotion in its place so you can grow better and look at things objectively. You'll turn insecure, full of jealousy, resentment and anger, but at the same time you're still aware of the world's wonders waiting for you.

You sacrificed many things to mature at once, and you might regret it sometimes. Life had to open your eyes in the worst ways, it brings you a new agony that you weren't aware you could even feel. You'll grow up out of the pain of a broken heart.

[mamawasatesttube]

Do you have thoughts on how kon would be as a big brother to Chris and Jon? I've read Chris and Jon's comics and I'm writing a thing with them but I want to have their big brother be part of their character/internal problem solving even if he doesn't (as of yet) appear. But I've only read yj and superboy is unfinished/on my tbr so I'm going to the Expert

(If you have any thoughts opinions on Kara's familial relationships you can include those as well)

OOH OOH YES DO I EVER!!!!!

every time i think about kon as a big brother i immediately think of sb94 annual #2, which opens on kon taking a kid flying for his birthday and joking about him being superboy jr., kind of like his little brother. then we move to cadmus, where it turns out the prototypical experiment #1 (whereas kon was #13) has awoken and escaped his containment pod. he fights kon briefly, believing himself to be/wanting to be the "real" superboy, but is injured and collapses in kon's arms afterwards. it turns out he's not stable outside the pod and is dying; despite kon's best efforts to get the cadmus doctors to save him, he only lasts another few minutes. i'm personally never ever getting over kon's face when it happens (right after they both find out their dna donor was paul westfield):

SO!! with that being established backstory: i think kon would be soooo excited to be a big brother. he'd talk a big game and want the kids to think he's cool, and of course, he's a mega dork (he'd try to get them both into wendy, and if they didn't like it, he'd be offended). but imo, he's also gonna be so protective of them right off the bat, in large part because of poor clone #1. he's got a lot of feelings about people he's gotta protect, and little siblings are sooo high on that list.

one thing is that i don't think kon really thinks of clark as his dad. of course, it depends on the point in the timeline where you're really introducing chris and jon (because like kon was dead by the point of last son introducing chris, and fitting jon into new earth is always a fun puzzle), but (to be clear this is to an extent my hc also) by the time he's living with the kents, kon no longer wants superman to be his dad. i do think he does at first ("i wish i had parents" in sb94 #85 paired with how reactive he is about shooting down superman being his dad in sb94 #94), but when he moves in with the kents that dies down pretty fast. but he'd way rather the kids call him their big brother than, like, their uncle. that's so uncool (haha see, 'cuz uncle sounds kind of like uncool--aw, whatever)!!! it makes him sound so OLD!!!! he's not an uncle!!!

so overall i think it's like. he's a fun-loving and protective figure. they probably think he's So cool for a while, then get a little older and go oh wait. that's a dorklord. i do think jon throws one hell of a tantrum the day he finds out he's never gonna get ttk even if he grows into all the other kryptonian powers, though.

(i also hc that chris can get some weird funky powers other than ttk, not ttk itself, bc its like... kon is THE ttk guy, and thats a metagene designed to emulate kryptonian powers, so it feels a little weird to take something that specific and give it to another character who doesn't have any of the narrative reasons to need it. someone who knows more abt editorial please do correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure they only gave chris ttk because prior to infinite crisis, the nightwing in new krypton shown to be using ttk was supposed to be kon, and was changed last-minute into chris.)

so like, he'd be a figure they can count on, someone they regard as always in their corner if they yell for him. he'll take the heat if they get in trouble (he spoils them. lois however has a very uncanny ability to tell if kon's taking the blame for something they did). i think as they grow older they might be like ...why's kon our brother but he doesn't live with us? and doesn't call our parents mom and dad? because kon stays with the kents but just hangs out with them all the time, and he calls clark and lois "clark and lois", and understanding that their family isn't nuclear might be a learning curve for them.

as for kara, i'll try and keep it brief bc this is already long i'm so sorry sdkhj but i generally operate in the realm of postcrisis kara, aka linda lang. she's roughly the same age as kon and she's got a Lot of feelings re: new krypton and her own guilt and her duty to her family, as well as whether she as supergirl can really measure up to superman. i love her. i think she would Adore having baby cousins because they mean her family is growing, after all the people she's lost. that said i think it's very possible she's a little awkward with kids because she just doesn't have that much experience with them. but i think she'd teach them to draw, and she'd really earnestly try with both of them. she'd LOVE to teach them about krypton, too.

[figbian]

disability studies & classics: some introductory texts!

as a disclaimer, this is not a complete list and not intended to be. i don't necessarily agree with everything in these texts, either – i'd be happy to discuss what i like/don't any time :-) that said, i included them because i find them useful or important or because i liked them enough i wanted to talk about them. further, not all of these texts are accessible (as in, free and online); send me an ask or message me if you want access to something & if i can i will send it to you.

in case you're looking for more sources but don't know where to find a good list, this – though as of posting (may 2023) is two years out of date – is a list of works on disability in the ancient world. it's very cool!!

disability theory/crip theory

Keywords For Disability Studies (book, edited by Rachel Adams, Benjamin Reiss, and David Serlin) - this series of essays can be really helpful in situating yourself. i find them occasionally a bit oversimplified, but overall they're pretty good, especially if you're new to the field.

Beginning With Disability: A Primer (book, edited by Lennard Davis) - this is another helpful way to situate yourself! i haven't read all of it, but i found the introduction pretty informative for dipping your toes into disability studies :-)

Disability Goes Cultural: The Cultural Model of Disability as an Analytical Tool (book chapter, by Anne Waldschmidt ) [open access on jstor here: https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv1xxs3r.5] - this article to me has its flaws but ultimately contains what i think is the most useful model for articulating & analyzing disability in the ancient world.

if you're interested in more specific disability theory stuff, feel free to send me an ask!

books/articles on greece and rome

truthfully, this is the danger zone for me as a latinist, who finds a lot of stuff supposedly on greece and rome to ultimately be about greece. further, i have bones to pick with these books, but they remain either the best we've got or otherwise foundational:

Mental Disorders in the Classical World (book, ed. William V. Harris) very medical, but still kind of interesting to look at and i haven't found anything better?

The Eye of the Beholder: Deformity and Disability in the Graeco-Roman World (book, Robert Garland) the foundational work but i kind of dislike it, tbh.

Prosthetics and Assistive Technology in Ancient Greece and Rome (book, Jane Drycott) i haven't read much of this yet, but i like drycott and this is going to be my post graduation treat!

Life as a Cyclops: Mythology and the Mockery of the Visually Impaired (article, Jane Drycott) really enjoyed!

Why does classical reception need disability studies? (article, Hannah Silverblank and Marchella Ward) i found parts of this preachy and wasn't super pleased with the thoroughness of the scholarship, but here we are!

A Cultural History of Disability in Antiquity (book, ed. Christian Laes) i don't like laes much but i found some chapters of this really enjoyable

Disability Studies and the Classical Body (book, ed. Ellen Adams) NOT OUT YET!!!!! but very excited for it.......

books & articles on greece

ancient greece has way more scholarship when it comes to disability, or at least this is my experience. i'm less interested in greece, but i still have a lot of articles and books i like + some i know are integral to the field. this is kind of an eclectic list of things i know are Important vs just neat lmao:

The Staff Of Oedipus (book): truthfully, i've only ever read the chapter on blindness (which i enjoyed!). it's not a perfect book, but it's so foundational and can be pretty interesting

The Discourse of Disability in Ancient Greece (article) - one of my favorite articles! i love rereading this :-) i think it's got some super interesting analysis on lysias 24 and the word ἀδύνατος. really cool if you're interested in the construction of "disability" as an identity.

Hephaestus the Hobbling Humorist: The Club-Footed God in the History of Early Greek Comedy (article) - i really enjoyed this article because of how it presents hephaestus, tbqh. im not sure how good it is – dying to hear from hellenists about it, actually – but hephaestus as funny because he's disabled (but not in an ableist way) was very interesting.

"Breathe Upon Us an Even Flame": Hephaestus, History, and the Body of Rhetoric (article) – in all honesty, i don't like this article very much, but what dolmage is doing is super interesting (trying to reconsider hephaestus as a figure), and so i included it. worth taking a look at.

Temporary versus Long-term Madness (article) - this article was a lot of fun for me.

books & articles on rome

full disclosure, i'm a latinist. i love rome. there's less out there but i have so, so much more to say about it. some good places to start:

Approaching Disabilities a Capite ad Calcem: Hidden Themes in Roman Antiquity (book, edited by C.F. Goodey, Christian Laes, and M. Lynn Rose) - this has some problems; i hate christian laes a lot but he's very good at citing lots of ancient examples! overall, the individual essays in this make it better than laes' own book, but they are disjointed.

Disabilities and the Disabled in the Roman World: A Social and Cultural History (book, by Christian Laes) - did i mention i hate christian laes? i don't like how he writes about disability, and at the same time he's incredibly prolific and good at citing ancient sources, so he's incredibly useful. read him if you want ancient examples, but be wary of how he talks about disability, because i think he fails as an abled person to think of disability as anything but bad.

Heroes and Outcasts: Ambiguous Attitudes Towards Impaired and Disfigured Roman Veterans (article, by Van Lommel) - i don't remember how situated van lommel is in disability studies, but i found this article & his work in general on roman veterans interesting enough to include.

there's so, so much more out there! this is just a taste! i tried to be conservative so as not to overwhelm, and even then this reading list is huge. i'm sure in a couple months i'll want to revamp this post lmao but i wanted it to be out there so people can at least see it esp since i promised to write this months ago. disability studies and classics is SO much fun and so novel and so exciting. so much to learn! so much to talk about! if you're interested in a specific topic, i can see if i can help you find more on it, but please keep in mind im currently only a student :-)

[fruitybashir]

Thank you for sharing the list of WIPs! I'm especially excited about the "bottom Kris" instalment. I love how you describe people's communication in sexual encounters, so, considering what we have read so far, it will be about starting doing things not done before, getting used to the new stuff, etc. Am I guessing it correctly? ☺️ And do not put any pressure on yourself, let the flow of creativity wave 🌊 like the ocean you're currently on ☺️

Also, I'm going to the JO gig this upcoming Saturday and cannot wait to scream along with the real Bojan "Spet me k tebi vleče", while having Holidate!Bojan in my mind as well 😊

Wishing you all the best ☺️!

yessss kinda! its not something super new, but its a lot about figuring things out, testing what works and feels best etc

ill put the link to an old ask here if i remember after posting but ive mentioned before that holidate kris has bottomed before, he just didnt like it. but its been years since then and the times where he tried it, he was at first an inexperienced teen, and another time with some random hook up, so he figures. well. maybe those were just really bad bc of the circumstances. but now hes in a stable, long term relationship (this is probably a few months after dopamin i think) with someone he loves and who he has amazing sex with, maybe it will be a different outcome.

theres a lot of trust and communication when they have sex and when they gradually explore more sides to it, not just new kinks but also like. idk how to word myself, im typing this out crouched on a concrete pillar watching the cruiseship park lol. basically like yes, theyre both still kinda vanilla but that doesnt mean that theres not still a whole lot you can discover about your partner all the time and figure out boundaries and what the other likes or doesnt like and maybe try out something new and they do that occasionally. sometimes its good, sometimes they decide they didnt like that, but it doesnt lessen their chemistry even then.

so kris feels very safe in approaching bojan about wanting to try bottoming again, even if it turns out he still doesnt like it. he obviously knows how much bojan enjoys it, so he knows theres a lot of pleasure to get on the receiving end and maybe they just need to find the correct way for him to get the same experience. so the whole thing is about that, him wanting to try it again and then figuring out if he likes it, what he likes or doesnt like about it, maybe what position he feels most comfortable in (bc he also has the whole being the one in control deal), if theres a way to make it so good for him that it can be a repeat thing, etc etc

a lot of talking, some frustration, some realisations, lots of trust and love and love and love

[soracities]

hi mim, i'm sorry if this comes across as rambling, but i wanted to ask you, how do you choose what to study/pursue when you don't know what you want? i recently moved to a new country with my family and i've taken a gap year to prep for an entrance exam back home, but i don't know whether i want to continue in the new country or go back to my home country, whether i should study x or y degree, i just feel torn both ways. and what makes it worse is that,secretly, i would love to study english lit or anything to do with languages, but my parents would never allow it unless it's a last resort. i just feel like i'm betraying myself no matter what i choose in the end. would really appreciate any advice on what the heck to do <3

Oh anon, this is such a tricky situation to be in and I can absolutely understand all the doubt, worry, and confusion you're going through. I grew up with a lot of friends in variously similar situations and it's never as simple as just telling you to "follow your heart" or "do what you want" because all the various considerations that you have to make and bear look different for everyone, and they cannot always be so easily dismissed or ignored.

I think one thing that might help in this is to focus less on what you want as a career, and maybe spend some time trying to figure out where your values lie and what kind of life you envision within those values--take the subjects that you enjoy most, for example: what exactly is it about those subjects that excite you? Do you value a host of different and new experiences, or do you prefer to deepen the experiences you've already had? If you enjoy working with or being around people, what capacity does that enjoyment reach its full potential for you? Is it in receiving new knowledge from others or being able to share new knowledge with others? Is it in providing aid, information, or comfort to people? Is it in working out a particular problem? How important is financial stability to you, and what are you willing to sacrifice or not sacrifice for that stability? What are the broadest possible options within that category? Do you want a stable 9 to 5 where it's easy for you to plan things out because you have a reliable routine? If not, why not? What does "stability" mean for you in the first place?

Some of these are all fairly vague questions, I'm aware, but I think it helps far more sometimes to isolate these things, rather than look at them in terms of what career you do or don't want, because focusing on "doctor" or "architect" or "teacher" or "accountant" disguises the day-to-day reality of what those jobs contain, and this reality is what will tally far more with the things you actually value. For example, my favourite subjects in school were languages, English, history and the sciences: my top two choices were biology and literature, but if I were to go to university now, I absolutely would not study English literature at all. I love it deeply, but what I love about it is not something that I can only get from a degree. What I value about literature is not necessarily something that would align with studying it as a degree. On the other hand, mathematics has always been something I had a very fraught relationship with; i also don't like the idea of being boxed in by expectations (my reading and watching habits are testament to that)--however: I'm not opposed to studying accountancy despite it being something most people don't associate with me at all. And I'm not opposed to it because the things accountancy involves--a fixed work week (which also means fixed free time), a particular set of problems requiring a particular set of tools (I enjoy that kind of focus)--are things I can see myself doing provided it's in the name of something important to me. Does this make sense?

I also want to add that whatever degree you choose, whatever job you settle on, is not a life sentence: just because you choose engineering or data science doesn't mean you will be an engineer or a data scientist for the rest of your life. You can, at any point in your life, at literally any age, change course or pursue something new or something radically different. You don't come with an expiration or a use by date--as long as you are still here, the world will still be here and the opportunities you find within it along the way are endlessly broad and full of surprises. It's a conversation that's cropped up quite a few times on this blog so I have an entire tag for it here, which I hope will go some way in giving you some hope, anon (and if it helps, I never went to university, but here I am losing my mind over literature on the regular and subjecting you all to it, too 💗).

As for the issue of what you want to study and where--I don't know how immense the pressure is from your parents, or how open they are to compromise, or exactly what their own reasoning for their stance is (I'm not saying that it's fair, only that it may help to know what "education" and a degree mean and symbolise for them, and if, once you know that, there's wiggle room available for you), I also don't know what your financial situation is or how much freedom you have in that regard and these are all things only you know. I will say though that it's important for you to make a list of concrete differences, pros and cons, and considerations between studying in your home country and studying where you are: what will accomodation look like for you? what universities are in your options and what do you value in those universities? what are the financial constraints between the two countries, if there are any? Are you able to mix programs between faculties so that you can do a major / minor degree? one that will allow you to compromise between what your parents expect and allow you to pursue a subject important to you?

I think the last one is something I would advise you to try and look at in line with all the questions from above (and you can absolutely add in more questions of your own for yourself). I don't know if your parents are set on a few, very specific courses by focusing on specific careers (i.e., the usual Big Three of Medicine, Engineering, Law), or if they are a bit more open and just looking at degrees themselves (which would be broader, if not by much). If it's the latter I think it is absolutely worth seeing if there is something that can align with the values most important with you and somewhat placate your parents also--just as an example, if they insist on something technical and scientific, there are a range of options in linguistics which also open up the pathway to languages for you: additionally, languages and multilingualism is something important and if it's something that helps broaden your prospects for employment (I hate talking in those terms, but you know what I mean) it might be worth bringing up, especially if you can tie it in or find a course that allows you to bridge the gap, even somehow, between your own interests and your parents' expectations.

Again, I'm sorry that you're in such a difficult position, anon, and I'm sorry too that I can't offer more to you. I really do hope, though, that some of this has been useful to you, even in just a small way. Sending you all my support and best wishes. Regardless of what you decide, please don't ever think that you are done for after decision. The world is so much bigger and so much broader than you can even imagine right now, I promise 💗

[mybleedingboy]

Hannibal Fic Recs

for @raniofzepuchas (I'll make this short and only include my very favorites so I'm not overwhelming you with fics) (no particular order)

A Clutch at Balance by Devereauxs_Disease

Rating: E | Word Count: 25,466

When Will Graham storms into Hannibal's house muttering about kissing Alana Bloom, the good doctor makes Will an offer: Pretend to date Hannibal in order to prove to Alana that Will is not only stable but capable of being in a relationship. When Alana is convinced Will is the man of her dreams, Hannibal will step aside and Will can get his girl. What could possibly go wrong?

Really fun and balances that fun with some excellent writing. Spot on dynamic, fantastic chemistry.

highway 190 by occultiism

Rating: M | Word Count: 10,343

He has found the Devil and wants to live inside of him. There is no more room for God. / Chronological snapshots throughout Will Graham's life.

Arguably one of the best-written Hannibal fics (and fics in general) ever. Hard-hitting, painful throughout but like a punch that hits the knots right out of you. If that makes sense?

Five Times Hannibal Visits Will and One Time He's Already Home (or: Coffee Cake) by bones_2_be

Rating: E | Word Count: 82,385

When Will tells Hannibal to leave at the end of Digestivo, he goes. And then, a few years later, he shows back up. They have long conversations, drink a lot of wine, at the end of it all they find something that works.

Excellent progression. Love the characters in this. Again, great fucking writing. Restricted fic, so you'd have to be logged in.

The Mongoose and the Mouse by Hiding Now

Rating: E | Word Count: 109,582

With Mother's and Father's Day impending, Will has been feeling particularly irascible. He has parent issues (as do we all) so as a therapeutic exercise, Hannibal suggests something novel: a vacation together to recapture the childhood he never had. His caveats: Will must choose someplace he's never been, someplace he always wanted to go as a child. The idea is ridiculous. Will can only think of one place. But there is no way Hannibal will agree to go to a place where turkey legs are a staple, and cartoon characters offer hugs on every corner. Will calls his bluff. Hannibal calls it right back. OR ~Will and Hannibal spend a week at Walt Disney World for perfectly sound psychological reasons~

It's the disney fic! Always fun to read back.

each according to its kind by chaparral_crown

Rating: M | Word Count: 192,571

Will does the only reasonable thing that someone fresh out of a mental hospital with no support system does - he leaves, and goes on a road trip to the Pacific Northwest.

AU of Season 2. This is my favorite Hannibal fic, and one of the best-written at that. Every paragraph is rich in flavor. I would definitely eat this. This is the fic I recommend the most often.

their beaks not yet turned red by chaparral_crown

Rating: M | Word Count: 134,420

Will stares at the bird. The bird stares back. In its beak, a very finely embroidered cloth, and in that, the tiniest of soft fists pushing forward from a folded corner. “Don’t you dare,” Will says, crouching, hand that is not currently cradling an overly large pour of whiskey pointed at the bird to ward it off. --- After Hannibal is arrested and the trial dates are set, the stork visits Will Graham. With it, it brings a baby, a legally binding birth certificate, and a hope chest full of gifts for her. Nobody except Will thinks this is weird. (Alternatively, what if the Scarlet Letter was a dark romantic comedy?)

So good and heartfelt throughout. I wished this was canon.

Ravenous by rageprufrock

Rating: M | Word Count: 38,448

Whenever I go into a new fandom, I look for pru's works first. This was no exception, and it's so fucking good. It's a genuine thriller. There's no description, and pru doesn't tag, so I will let you go in blind. An exciting read, brilliantly written both stylistically, plot-wise, and character-wise. The dynamics here are wonderful !! Hard-recommend.

[ideas-on-paper]

Rannoch researches - Part 1: Astrophysics, formation of the Tikkun system and origin of life on Rannoch

[Potential spoilers for the Mass Effect trilogy]

Alright, I finally, finally made it to the Rannoch arc of ME3 - and while it absolutely freaking destroyed me on an emotional level, I was nevertheless very excited to see the Quarian homeworld in person. I mean, it's one thing to just read the entries on the wiki, but virtually being there and flying around in the star system is something entirely else.

As you might know, I'm very interested in any lore about the Quarians and Geth, specifically everything that's related to Rannoch's culture previous to the Morning War, and being able to set foot on the site is like a dream come true for me. (Having an idea of the place you're researching just immensely helps with visualization. xD)

However, being my nerdy self, I decided to try and explore Rannoch's history a little further, beyond the Morning War and even the advent of Quarian civilization - that is to say, the history of Rannoch's star system. I'm aware that this topic might be a little dry to some people, since it has nothing to do with ME's story as a whole and basically just covers the scientific background. However, after researching about it, I must say that I find it to be quite fascinating, and I certainly learned a lot of things about astrophysics, the origin of life, and the universe as a whole along the way.

Disclaimer: I should mention that I'm neither an astrophysicist nor a chemist, and all my knowledge about the topic stems from self-study. Therefore, it's possible that some of my conclusions and projections might be scientifically inaccurate; if someone has more expertise in these fields than me, feel free to point any error out to me. For the sake of understandability, I will try to explain all facts as simply as possible.

The age of the Tikkun system

Before actually being able to travel to the system in Mass Effect 3, Legion already gives us a little trivia about Rannoch and its star in ME2. When Shepard inquires what the Quarian homeworld is like, they respond with:

"It is more arid than Earth. The star is older and more orange than Sol."

In combination with the information that Rannoch's star Tikkun has about 90% of the Sun's mass and half of its luminosity (which we learn from the planet's description), we can conclude two things:

Tikkun is older than 4.6 billion years (the approximate age of our Sun).

Tikkun is a K-type main-sequence star, sometimes also called orange dwarfs due to their emitted light being in the orange spectrum.

From an astrophysical perspective, these two pieces of information complement each other nicely: Since K-type stars are generally more stable than stars of the G-class like our Sun, they also have longer lifespans (about 17 - 70 billion years, in contrast to the estimated 10 billion of the Sun), which means that a K-type star that formed long before our Sun could still exist without issue.

Also, despite being colder and less luminous than G-type stars, K-type stars are considered to be of particular interest in the search for extraterrestrial life, if only for the reason that their extended lifespan gives organic life more time to develop. Furthermore, K-stars emit less total UV light and ionizing radiation than G-type stars, which are known to be damaging to DNA and thus would hinder the development of extraterrestrial life.

However, it's still debated how beneficial these presumed advantages actually are: Due to their lower heat emission, planets would have to orbit closer to K-type stars to have habitable temperatures, which might offset any benefit from a lower UV output. Also, while the total UV radiation is lower, K-type stars emit higher levels of X-rays and far ultraviolet light (F-UV) during their early lifespan, which may act sterilizing and destroy any atmosphere, thus preventing the emergence of organic life (or at least significantly delaying it).

Still, there is a factor that might have made it possible for life to develop on Rannoch after all: metallicity. Metallicity denotes the abundance of heavy elements in a star, although the term "metals" is a bit misleading - it's not about metals in the actual sense, but rather every element that is heavier than hydrogen and helium. Hydrogen and helium are the two lightest elements and the first to exist immediately after the Big Bang (in addition to small quantities of lithium), and all other elements were created by nuclear fusion in stars and then ejected into interstellar space by supernovae. Consequentially, that means the older a star is, the less heavy elements it contains (there are exceptions to this rule, however).

Now, the interesting part about this is that very recently, scientists have found out that planets orbiting metal-poor stars might actually be more habitable to organic life: Although metal-poor stars emit more total UV radiation compared to metal-rich stars, the spectrum of the emitted UV light strongly differs. Metal-poor stars emit more short-wave UV-C light, while metal-rich stars predominantly emit the longer-waved UV-B light. The difference is that while UV-B light acts destructive to any ozonosphere, UV-C light actually supports the formation of an ozone layer. It may seem like a bit of a paradox that a certain spectrum of UV light benefits the formation of an atmosphere protecting the planet from cytotoxic UV radiation, but what we can surmise is that metal-poor stars are generally more life-friendly.

However, Rannoch's star system potentially being very old by galactic standards introduces yet another problem: At first, scientists suspected that metal-rich stars are overall more likely to possess planetary systems, particularly such that include terrestrial planets. This was probably due to the assumption that since heavy elements were not that abundant in the beginning of the universe, terrestrial planets were also not very common back then, although further observation has shown that smaller exoplanets exist around stars with a range of metallicities. Evidence suggests, however, that large gas giants are more likely to form around planets with high metallicity - perhaps because cores containing a large amount of heavy elements exert a stronger gravitational force on light gases.

Still, the issue remains that the cores of planets which formed during the early phase of the universe most likely contain next to no heavy elements. This is important because the iron and nickel core of Earth is one of the main reasons life was able to develop on our planet in the first case: The heavy elements in the core are responsible for Earth's magnetic field, which stabilizes the atmosphere and protects it from being blown away by solar winds. So, presuming that Rannoch's core is composed of a larger portion of light elements, it would have a weaker magnetic field than Earth, which in turn would make it harder for the planet to develop a life-essential atmosphere.

Either way, we can surmise that the question whether a planet is actually habitable depends on various different factors, and it once again proves what a delicate balance has to be met for organic life to develop. In case of Rannoch, it's worth mentioning that Rannoch's atmosphere is stated to be slightly thinner than Earth's (0.93 atm). So, if Tikkun is indeed an old, metal-poor star, perhaps the influence of the increased UV-C radiation is just enough to offset all other atmosphere-depleting factors, like F-UV radiation, x-ray radiation, and solar winds. Also, it's noted that Haza, the only gas giant of the Tikkun system, is comparatively small; thinking back to the observations that large gas giants predominantly form around stars with high metallicity, this might suggest that the percentage of heavy elements in Haza's core is pretty low, which in turn could hint at the system's high age.

Life based on dextro amino acids - proof of Rannoch's age?

However, there might be another, even more convincing indicator that Tikkun is pretty ancient by astronomical standards: As we know, life on Rannoch is based on dextro amino acids, including the Quarians who are the only dextro species in the galaxy aside from the Turians, with all others being levo amino-based. For a long time, scientists have been speculating why lifeforms on Earth consist pretty much exclusively of L-acids (levo), and why there are sugars (e.g. glucose) consisting of D-molecules (dextro), but no proteinogenic (protein-creating) acids. Theoretically, the chemical construction of D- and L-acids is exactly the same - the only thing that's different is the way the molecules reflect light, which is clockwise for D-acids and counterclockwise for L-acids (a property known as "chirality"). This may not sound like much, but it has major consequences: As a result, D- and L-acids are entirely incompatible with each other, acting like image and mirror image. (Just as a side note because I keep hearing that Quarians consist of "completely different" molecules than humans and thus are completely different lifeforms: Broken down to their chemical components, D- and L-acids don't differ from each other at all - it's basically the same, just the other way around.)

Meanwhile, the American chemist Ronald Breslow has proposed that the reason why L-amino acids are dominant on Earth has something to do with electromagnetic radiation: Going by the panspermia hypothesis, the molecules of life spread through the universe by means of meteoroids, asteroids, comets, and other matter. However, on their way through space, these molecules are subjected to the radiation of neutron stars and pulsars, and it's been observed that dextro amino acids get destroyed more easily by neutron star radiation than their levo counterparts. Thus, the meteoroids that fell down on Earth contained more L-acids than D-acids. Since amino acids of the same kind paired up with one another and became crystallized, the only ones that remained were those that couldn't find any partner: the excess L-acids, which were dissolved in the water and eventually became the components of organic life.

Now, one thing to keep in mind is that neutron stars and pulsars are objects that form after a dying star turns into a supernova. Logically, this would mean that the older the universe gets, the more neutron stars are created, and consequentially, their number must have been lower during the early stages. If this is true, the radiation hazard must have been lower as well, and presuming that the quantity of D-amino acids contained in a meteorite exceeded those of L-acids, it could've led to life developing along an alternate path on a different planet - even Breslow himself considered it a possibility that life based on D-acids and L-sugars might exist elsewhere in the universe.

This would lead to the conclusion that the Quarians as a species are way older than humans - and potentially, the majority of the other races in the galaxy. What makes this even better is that it actually lines up very nicely with the comment from Erinya's bondmate (the Asari you meet on Illium during the sidequest "Medical Scans" in ME2) that Quarians have "old souls". (I'm not entirely sure how Asari are able to determine how old someone's soul is, but then again, I never quite understood their esoteric mindset. xD) Going from this, it might mean that the Turians are another "old" species of the galaxy, since they developed based on dextro acids as well - either way, I quite like this theory, since it not only fits in with the lore but would also make sense from a scientific point of view.

Rannoch's position in the Milky Way

However, as with pretty much all good theories, there is just one problem: Rannoch's position in the Milky Way. In 2016, scientists created the first global age map of the galaxy based on observations of 100,000 red giants, coming to the conclusion that the oldest, most metal-poor stars are located in the galaxy's center and in the halo (the roughly spherical space surrounding our galaxy, acting as a kind of "border zone"). Furthermore, they observed that with increasing distance from the galactic center, the stars of the disk (the "flat" level that the spiral arms are on) get younger the farther away they are - and with the Tikkun system being located at the disk's very edge, this puts my theory in a somewhat precarious place.

However, at the same time, the stars' age increases the greater the vertical distance from the galactic disk is (to put it simply, the oldest stars are found above and below the disk). At first, this led me to the suspicion that the Tikkun system might actually be located in the halo, since the galaxy map of Mass Effect is only in 2D and doesn't account for the 3D aspect. However, I was stopped short by the realization that the halo contains no interstellar medium - that is to say, clouds of gas and dust which are essential for the formation of solar systems. With nebulae (like the Perseus Veil) also being part of the interstellar medium, this makes a localization of Tikkun in the halo extremely unlikely. Still, one thing I did find out that Tikkun is probably located "above" most of the rest of the Milky Way: Due to the dented shape of the disk (which is suspected to be caused by the rotating movement of the galaxy's center), the regions at the outer edge of our galaxy are significantly bent upwards and downwards. I actually managed to find a three-dimensional map depicting the position of our solar system, making it possible to deduce the position of the Tikkun system in relation to it, which would most likely be located near the "raised" partition of the disk (see image below).

This 3D map of the Milky Way galaxy shows the position of our Solar system, and if compared to this Mass Effect galaxy map, we can conclude that the Tikkun system would be somewhere on the right, where the "ridge" is (Edited image; original picture source)

Still, that doesn't mean my speculations are completely off the table: In a more recent study from 2023, a team of scientists did a metallicity profile of the Milky Way's stars, starting from the galactic center all the way to the outer rim. During their survey, they not only observed a spike of metal-rich stars around 23,000 light years from the center (with 26,000 light years distance from the center, our solar system lies quite close to it), but also an unusually high quantity of metal-poor stars about 50,000 light years from the galactic center.

Granted, there is a correlation between the age of a star and metallicity, but as I already pointed out above, this doesn't always have to be the case. In fact, each of the three star populations - young, intermediate, and old - displays the trait of a higher metallicity near the center and a lower metallicity at the outskirts. Then again, the oldest, most metal-poor stars of the galaxy are also found in the center, and the research group has acknowledged that one reason for the steep decrease of metallicity near the outer edge might be that our estimates of the extent of the Milky Way's disk are off. Either way, a diagram from the study shows that old stars still exist up to a radius of 12 kpc (approx. 40,000 light years), with their luminosity decreasing the farther away from the center they're located. In the study, "old stars" were classified as those with an age of 8-12 GYR/8-12 billion years, so this would be my rough estimate for the age of the Tikkun system as well.

Another explanation for the rapid decrease of metallicity near the outer rim that has been proposed is the collision with a former, metal-poor dwarf galaxy. This galaxy would have been engulfed and later absorbed by the Milky Way, with its metal-poor gas being used as the building material for new stars. If this was true, perhaps the Perseus Veil might even be a remnant of this collision, consisting of gas formerly belonging to this dwarf galaxy. Going by the description from the Codex, the Perseus Veil is an opaque nebula in the colors of "purple and gold", suggesting that it might consist of a combination of emission nebulae (those that emit light in the visible spectrum, hence the striking colors) and dark nebulae. Dark nebulae absorb the wavelengths of light visible to the human eye, effectively concealing any stellar objects behind them (still, objects obscured by them can be observed with radio or infrared telescopes, which is a little curious considering that the Codex entry says "the Veil's total opacity prevents Council intelligence from surveying Geth activity"; however, it's possible that the Geth are using technology to disrupt those frequencies, not wanting organic races to spy on what they're doing). Dark nebulae in particular are also known to be the birthplace of many stars and planets, which makes them a likely candidate for the origin of the Tikkun system.

However, there is also the possibility that the Tikkun system might not be located in, but rather behind the nebula. The form of dark nebulae tends to be very irregular, with no clearly defined boundaries and far-ranging, serpentine shapes. In the night sky, they appear as dark patches, which is a phenomenon we know from the Great Rift, clouds of interstellar gas and dust obscuring much of our view from the Milky Way (for avid star gazers, this is indeed the dark band that stretches across the "bright band" of the Milky Way). This is due to the Rift being located between the inner edge of the Orion arm (which is the spiral arm where our Solar System is located), and the Sagittarius Arm, the next arm inward; thus, the Great Rift effectively blocks our view of the Galactic center. So, perhaps something similar might be the case for the Perseus Veil, with the Veil being located in-between the closest spiral arm and Quarian/Geth space. (This would also make sense considering that the Quarians/Geth occupied more clusters than just Tikkun, for example the Far Rim; the fact that multiple clusters are obscured by the Perseus Veil would support the theory of it being a more extensive interstellar cloud instead of a nebula that only contains the Tikkun system, despite Tikkun's cluster being labeled "Perseus Veil").

Also, keeping the 3D-perspective in mind, the elevated position of Tikkun (and probably the other systems as well) would mean that observers from other star clusters have to look "up" at them, which might indicate that the Perseus Veil is located slightly below the Tikkun system. (As an allegory, imagine spanning a dark piece of fabric between you and a lamp at your ceiling.) This allows for some interesting speculation what our galaxy might look like from Rannoch's night sky, as our position on one of the spiral arms also affects what we can see of the Milky Way. In that sense, Rannoch might even be in a more "ideal" location to observe the galaxy as a whole, its elevated position granting something like a top-down view of the Milky Way. From the northern hemisphere, you would have a good view at the stars of the halo and other galaxies, while on the southern hemisphere, you would look directly at the dark "rift" of the Perseus Veil. One might wonder what kind of influence this had on Quarian mythology - considering the huge significance stars held in human culture, we can assume that the same is true for the Quarians, if not more.

Organic life: a temporary phenomenon?

Anyway, regardless whether my theories are true or not, I certainly found it very interesting to think about how life could've developed on a planet like Rannoch, and I think the possibility of there being an extraterrestrial civilization which is much older than ours is extremely fascinating. Still, one thing my researches taught me is that on a galactic level, creation and destruction often lie very close together: When a star dies and goes supernova, all life on the planets around it is naturally extinguished. However, the gas and matter from the dying star go on to become the building material for a new generation of stars, thus creating a new chance for life to emerge on other planets. The interesting question is though whether this cycle will continue indefinitely, or if there is some kind of natural limit to it. (As a fair warning, this is about to get a little existential.)

What stirred this thought in me is the observation that with growing age, the universe will become increasingly hostile to life, as each new generation of stars will contain more heavy elements. As explained above, this will lead to the stars emitting more hazardous radiation, which at some point could reach an amount that prevents the development of life altogether. So: Does that mean that organic life is really just a temporary phenomenon, and is our existence nothing more than a tiny episode in the grand history of the universe?

Regarding Mass Effect specifically, I wonder whether the Reapers are actually aware of this - I mean, a universe without life might mean that they'd be potentially jobless at some point. xD On the other hand, perhaps this is precisely the motivation behind their harvests: If organic life is truly just "an accident", as Sovereign says, maybe this is why the Reapers were talking about the "ascent" of humanity when turning all of them into a giant bio-machine in ME2. Maybe they actually intend to bypass the pre-destined extinction of organic races by lifting them onto a higher evolutionary plane.

Before you ask, yes, I've played the Leviathan DLC, and yes, I'm aware what the Reapers' purpose is in canon - however, I couldn't help but feel that the explanation of "AI and organics are destined to fight" is a tad bit lame, and on top of that, it leaves open so many plot holes and loose ends that never get addressed. So, I guess I would've preferred if they went with a more philosophical approach like this. (Especially since it not only seems to be implied, but also fits the overall setting quite well.)

Anyway, that's enough talk for today - I hope you enjoyed this deep dive into Rannoch's astrophysical background, as well as my conjectures how it all may fit in with real-life science. I'm definitely planning to make this into a longer series, but I need to figure out how day and year cycles work on Rannoch first. In fact, if anyone of you has sufficient mathematical knowledge, I would be very grateful for any assistance in calculating how fast time passes on Rannoch - we do know that it has a slightly lower gravitation than Earth (0.89 g), and since theory of relativity exists, that means time passes faster on Rannoch than on our planet.

It might take me a while before I'll be able to continue this series (if simply for the reason that posts like these take a lot of time and effort to make), but still, thank you for your attention!