#ive never been so late but like ESP THIS LATE ITS INSANE

[traumatoonz]

IM 5 MONTHS LATE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭 @chcctah

Wasn't sure if I should even post them bc it's THAT LATE and that's not only embarrassing as hell but I feel bad BUT ! That doesn't even matter, YOU MATTER and every year your birthday comes, im just glad to hear from you to know you're still alive and living your life on the other side of the world! You deserve to have your life celebrated, so even though these are so damn late, I LOVE U AND IM GLAD U WERE BORN AND IM GLAD WE MET!!!!!!! I'm always glad to see you online enjoying what you're into and it makes me so honored that i get to see how much you've grown since we've met.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! AND HAPPY HANUKKAH!!!!!

[isa-ah]

on the one hand i want to try for a second wind to stay up and get really into something but on the other hand im sleepy and im pretty sure my husband went to bed without me so i honestly might as well

[redamancy-and-daisies]

DISORGANIZED THOUGHTS ON TODAYS SHOW 12/11

OH yeah dally also was like fondling cherrys skirt like ive never seen him get that close like actually put a hand on her really nasty

tilly almost fell off the car

just sitting there minding her buisness was soooo sad hes sounded so little😭💔

johnny braced himself like full arms up as if dally was going to hit him during his parents’ scene

his voice is so fucking good

kwp said that ur problem, chet (twice)

ace slapped sodas ass(and later when shes leaving the house it looked like he was thinking abt it but didnt lol GOOD ANSWER jason)

Daryl looked at the knife before jumping off the train and beginning of faft

maggie is SO DIANE LANE like real mean girl energy but then she opens up and shes actually just a sweetheart

(u were a hood or a collegiate) heard an older lady in the audience (that laughed just like my grandma :c) saying this during intermission

cried sm in faft

soda kept being like dw johnny hes just like this dw during ritfr

marcia neverrr stops looking at two bit

HUGE coke splash someone said “car wash” after

the car came down so far during the park fight u could see a lot more of johnny which was great

he seems so in shock like way less screaming fs

saw barton mocking steve it was sooo nasty white boy esp since pony and his brothers were the only non black people(minus johnny) in the gang today the mix was so great

also tilly is just such a stand out she’s so fucking good

the kids that came on a school trip here are going CRAZY

after ponyboy spit someone went “THATS RIGHT”

cherry couldnt stop smiling at the end of icttyan shes also taller than josh which is so cute

daryl was either too quiet or didnt say 16 so it sounded like they were both 14 lol

“its probably wrong to cheer when someone gets stabbed”(overheard at intermission)

darry was going so fucking hard like it was vicious like more than normal which is nice bc ive seen it 3 times but hes really turned it up today

also kwp AND barton seemed more drunk than normal

overheard someone else saying maggie is so diane lane

socs were so agressive after drive in

johnnys just a KID THEY BOTH ARE

they nod after faft like theyre gonna run away then oh shit too late

daryl johnny is soooo how i pictured him in the book (so is sky!!!!) sky might be closer to the book bc he has some edge to him but daryls just was soooo so sad and scared

also his wig isnt that fuck ass!! it was curly!

ACT TWO

//

finally got to the fucking station after wandering in the dark and rain ok act two

cherry looked so sad at jft

SARAHGRACE MIC WAS ON‼️ SHE WAS SO CLEAR AND INCREDIBLE

“(back)to tulsa” was sooo sad he literally is just a kid

darry looked like he wanted blood w dally didnt get enough time to pull him on the car

jason was crying so hard at the end it was actually hard to watch just bright red falling apart he smacked brents shoe at “u get BITTER” and he was like hyperventaliting

and so was josh he cried smmm

saw tears in brents eyes i actually never have before

WHEN PAUL started sining in jft people like clapped/hollered his voice is such a slay it made people crazy

OH YEAH MAGGIE OPTIONED UP in “out looking for a fight”

paul throwing ace in the rumble never noticed that before

johnny hugging pony after damd and putting his head in lap 😭

ponys no after johnny died was devastating

HUGE laugh at “i got more inside me than just grease” but it mightve been brent’s “ok.”

this was the best brother’s fight ive seen like joshs first “shut up” was actually scary like a whisper

cant stomach little brother —theres actually no way in hell they snubbed his tony he deserves to break in and steal one bc he mf earned that he gets to this insanely devastating place 8 shows a week??? robbed

Josh’s high register in stay gold makes me cryyy

him hugging the clothes😭

soda kicking gravel on paul before the rumble

BARTON OPEN SHIRT IN RUMBLE never noticed/seen that before??

renniiiiii two bit was sooooo gooooood

maggie is SOOOOO pretty -ok ill leave u alone was so sad and frantic like she was abt to cry

titt jason sounded esp raspy early 00s country sooo good

i think joshs pony is soo believable as a 14 yr old bc of his height and vibe but i think hes my least fav pony😭but its more like u have 3 killer options & u HAVE to rank way not in a “trevor brody good josh bad” way yk

trevor is my fav pony and hes the only one i havent seen irl LMAO

oh maggies cherry wig is soo strawberry blond this is my second time seeing her shes fantastic

OH YEAH i never noticed before dally leaves the hospital he directs the ill snap a socs neck if i have to to cherry like whatever he was saying before that died on his lips bc he saw her and ive never clocked that moment before

[lorelune]

hey lore !!!!! I'm a big fan of your works <3 they honestly amaze me so much. i especially adore your world building it's just so ?? scrumptious ?! no seriously it's so good like i want to eat it up along with your characterization. i love how you enhance already existing world's as well as create new ones — not just world's but ways things work and intricacies within intricacies.. you provide such a clear idea that makes picturising it all so much easier and interesting

ive never written before other than some blurbs here and there on my notes app but recently hsr brainrot has been Hitting it lately and i've had way too many thoughts 💭 i was planning on maybe writing a fic.. but it requires insane amount of world building (and ik that's definitely not the right thing to start off on, as a new writer/for your first work but then again ig there is no right and wrong way to do it (?) it's more like my brain power might not support me and i’ll abandon it half way or something 🥲 haha) anyway i was wondering if you have any tips on how to worldbuild or build further on the existing ideas of certain organisations and all that sort.. there's just so many ideas haywiring and i would really love some advice if you don't mind. but no pressure !! sorry if this was too long,,

omg hello anon!! not too long at ALL hehe i'm gonna answer this below the cut hehe

first off THANK YOU 🥺!!! i appreciate your kind words so much <3 i really enjoy worldbuilding in my own writing and i'm very glad the ideas i bungle up translate well when actually in a story :'^) in my own little brainworld where i daydream, i tend to add details and layers to the original story that i do like... question if i can execute. so it is always nice to hear that they do in fact make it through 😭💓

as for advice!!

anon. so transparently. so REAL-y. if you have the brainworms for a story, even if its big and complicated and a lot to chew on it, just start!!! it is so intimidating truly but there is no better writing fuel than the muse of a story that has captured you. and!! if it does not end up finished, that is totally okay!! i have personally learned some of most valuable lessons writing while working on large pieces that ultimately ended up unfinished.

for more material advice:

when working on fic, i keep a lot of notes in a personal discord server. i have a wip channel and threads for certain fic ideas where i compile plot details, world details, fanart and inspo photos. it's super helpful!!!

one thing that helps me when i have big grand worlds in my head and i need to get them down and written is, instead of choosing to take a bite out of the whole world itself, i try to choose just a snippet or event and build around that. for example, in cicatrix, you get LOTS of lore abt calibrators and their relationship to the luofu, but plenty of what i had spinning around in my noggin didn't make it down. it wasn't relevant to the immediate story, event, or conflict, so it stayed unspoken. however, i think having really rich background going INTO writing these snippets of a larger universe helps fill things out and seem more like... lived in.

i will say. so indispensable. BETA READERS. the first few drafts of cicatrix where so ROUGH when it came to world building. i had the whole lore of calibrators and the luofu in my head, but getting it down clearly and in a way that made enough sense to an unknowing audience took a few read throughs and feedback by some lovely friends of mine. i highly recommend tracking down someone to read over your pieces and provide feedback on the things you're worried about!!!

and like... perhaps a little corny. but. believe in yourself. we are our own greatest critics, and the best attitude to cultivate toward the craft is that you can... do it. you just can. innately anon, regardless of experience, you can create the story and world you want to. bolstering a sense of confidence goes FAR esp if you end up writing a longer piece!!!

anon i got quite rambly asldkf. i hope this is in some way helpful!!! if you have any other questions, i am happy to answer!! i truly think writing immersive worlds is SO fun and engaging, and sometimes you just gotta. throw your hat in the ring. start the run and see where it takes you. i wish you such like and good tidings anon <3

[decklynnmoo]

hello! hope you're doing well :) i don't know if you're still active on this account, but maybe you'll see this? idk.

this might sound. mildly to moderately insane, but there's this one, like, 15 second youtube video of someone waving a glittery wand over a pastel goth bjd that i LOVED when i saw it – it was super calming and i loved the look of the video, and it was genuinely one of my favorite videos on the site. having stumbled across a few pictures of your bjds today, i'm like 99% sure it was a video of your bjd Acyd!

since it looks like that video was deleted (whether or not it was actually yours) i'm gonna give up on the search for it, but i just wanted to pop in and say thank you – your artwork (and esp. that one video lmao) had a huge impact on my life, and even if you've moved on from bjds, you were a huge inspiration to me in both art and fashion!

no pressure to respond if you see this – since i coincidentally found this account, i just wanted to say smth real quick lol. this feels vaguely parasocial so i'm gonna end this here 🫡 peace

i wanted to reply to this, Im not sure when this was sent to my inbox or if you are still around to see this message; Hello and thank you for your kind words.

you dont know how much this message has made my night. I am moved on from bjd art for just my only art presence and its funny ive been getting messages about the dolls a lot lately so they have been on my mind.

I'm thankful that the happiness, creativity, and sense of exploring fashions and sharing my knowledge at the time mixed into my own imagination could do anything positive for you. It's honestly very dear to my heart the way people gravitated to those creations because that was my escape and way of coping with my real-life issues and struggles or self-expression at the time. I value that cherished time and the people drawn to those creations. I will never forget the positivity that they have given you and the other people who bring them up to me even today. They live on through those memories so thank you.

BTW @acydslitterbox Might have that gif on there but am unsure of exactly what video youre talking about only because its been so long and I remember doing so many things with him specifically. Which I still have him but hes not together currently. I was also going through a lot of traumatic things at the time and breaking from the grooming process that was happening. My mind has tried to shut off some of the memories that caused me stress to remember this video.

In 2025- im working on a BJD art makeup cosplay series that idea was planned by me just a day ago now to show some of the dolls again and work on them but that will be sometime early next year so you may see them all again and the people who ask about them may see them or get the chance to. My cosplay makeup account is Little deck moo on ig fb Decklynn Castle or Lildeckmoo on fb im also on twitter and tiktok. Btw the dolls also are still on tiktok under decklynnmoodolls

[intertexts]

HIIII ROS i am sorry i never replied to your reply to my ask from a while ago i am so bad at that ;-; in response to that kinda (bc we were talking about jhariah) i did see them live! 3rd concert ive ever been to in my life & it was life changing... i was front row n there was a baby mosh pit n i was with my best friends it was so good <3 i didn't get to see all the songs off TRUST CEREMONY live but if he tours again i will try to get tix because i must see CONTROL BABY live... my faves are control baby n fire4fun n russian doll <3 but it is my fave album ever created (except maybe Måneskin's Teatro D'Ira vol 1)

Dont wanna yap too much but other music im liking rn: Dua Saleh's ROSETTA ep; Missouri Surf Club's songs Rotten & Kingdom Come; Jean Dawson's entire discography generically but specifically SICK OF IT* and New Age Crisis; Ethel Cain's everything; and then im still consistent w the narcissist cookbook, an unkindness, sons of the illustrious father etc. I have been getting into a crazy amount of music since summer started though so there are sooooo many others but i wanna know what you're listening to! i like your music taste as ive said :3

ANYWAY I think i might just send another ask because this is ramble-y n u dont have to reply to it bc its overwhelming but!! Yeah hehe okay p. 1 - mare

HII HI HI no worries!!!!!!! all good i'm also really terrible at it!!!!!! hehe <33 jhariah concert & mosh pit is SO awesome though.. man.. thats so cool.... love that experience for u!!!! <333

checking out all of these rn they're SOO GOOD.... dua saleh ROSETTA ep literally going on the repeat playlist rn omg. ough. how have i not heard them before. holy fucking shit. missouri surf club goood i love the florence influence.... jean dawson & ethel cain WHOO!!!! hell yeag. god. u also have such good music dude. good shit.!!!!!!!

what have i been listening to!!! shit!!! this is gonna be LONG but u asked for it!!! a lot of morcheeba (big calm), de la soul (the grind date), sneaker pimps (bloodsport), tricky (maxinquaye) <- one of my all time faves, madvillainy, cibo matto (viva! la woman), yaeji (with a hammer), chai (wink)... summer to me is usually very hot & humid & sticky & dreamy to me (busted ac) so this is my laying on the floor staring at the fan vaguely dissociating rotation.

other than hip hop & trip hop-- dragon new warm mountain i believe in you by big thief!!!!!! somehow never listened to this one & i'm ill over it. & july flame (other all time fave) by laura veirs & central reservation by beth orton (<- huge recent discovery ill over her voice) & broken social scene self titled for my acoustic rotation...

heavier set: been getting BIG into creature feature they're literally so fun. i think u might like them tbh. american gothic is my fave so far!! summer is for shitty pop punk 2 me!! esp. when i actually have to Do Stuff & not lay on the floor melting. so. we the kings, fall out boy (cork tree & infinity on high), the cab, the academy is..., yellowcard, motion city soundtrack, alkaline trio :]

ALSO special mention 2 blue sky black death (slow burning lights, late nite cinema, noir) bc their instrumentals make me so insanely nostalgic & have been my writing soundtrack for the past month!!!!

[watsername]

Are you leaving dtblr?

no i was saying the other day ive just been rlly busy lately between finals and work and christmas prep so i haven’t had much free time but im using this as an excuse to go on another ramble about community dynamics

i’ve already talked about this but i honestly have considered just moving on a few times now bc it’s so .. divisive here at times . Even things as trivial as who ships what has started several full on vaguing sessions across my dash with people screaming that being a multi shipper is homophobic or that dnfers are the main issue with the community neither or which are true and it’s insane that it’s still ongoing like it’s a serious problem with a lot of different people from different shipping communities lacking any kind of maturity in all honesty.

another thing is the karl neg . like nobody is asking anybody to enjoy karl’s content or to watch him but the kind of speculation over his intentions his friendships his creative ventures when he actually hasn’t done anything wrong except annoy people a little just doesn’t sit right with me . its also kinda hypocritical considering how our fanbase likes to preach live and let live and that we have no say in dteams friendships esp in the discourse surrounding q. like again .

theres also a problem with cliques but i feel like a lot of the discourse over cliques ive seen in the past couple months has been targeting friend groups more than cliques like no girl people can have groups of friends in the community lmao but like the platforming of friend groups trying to make them the equivalent of influencers in a fan community just has never seemed like a good idea liek this over glorification of other fans in the community just seems weird to me like ? idk i just wouldn’t try to establish fan community hierarchies they’re never good

it’s just felt a whole lot less fun logging in lately because unless you have a group of friend established in ways where you communicate frequently outside of tumblr then you’re just logging on to see shipping discourse . why i hate x creator . dranti tweets to report . You’re Bad If You Ship This . and two people vaguing each other about something so incredibly unimportant and trivial or competing to be the best poster for their chosen creator amongst all the art and fics and nice posts coming from people who you’ve followed for years or who are popular people to see in the fanbase and it’s just like . not very fun anymore bc ppl started taking it way too seriously .

idk i still watch streams if im awake for them and i still like coming online but i find myself rolling my eyes a lot more recently

[skunkes]

ive already talked about this at length in my feelings journal but i need to be insane here too sorry

Something I keep noticing is I've not really had any interest in consuming media... I've very much been living under a rock when it comes to it esp movies.

Lately I keep wanting to watch movies but stop myself because I want to do it with Somebody...but its not enough to do it with a friend, yknow? Idk, I wanna share that New Experience with someone closer than that.

So I don't watch stuff ! Partly because I wanna share it with somebody and the other part is...because doing so takes something away from me.

I'm not an interesting person. What usually stands out for people is the things I Haven't done. Like what do you mean you havent seen x? You haven't eaten y before? You havent done z? At your age??

All I have is what I Don't have! If you remove that then I'd have nothing...ykwim? I'm such a boring person, if I suddenly filled the gaps in all these experiences I've missed (like watching all the movies i wanna watch that ive never seen for example) then I'd have nothing New and Exciting to share with other persons...bc thats all i have lol...if that makes any sense at all.

[melancholiaenthroned]

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags

i was tagged by @bladeofavernus tyyyy<3 i rlly struggled to think of 10 fandoms im currently in (that had characters i care a lot about. sorry malevolent) but this was fun! not tagging 10 ppl bc im insecure and dont want to be a bother but ! not in any particular order but here they r

michelle carter (dc comics) the realization that i can only pick one dc character for this... so scary. idk if michelle is my favorite dc character ever but shes certainly up there and right now shes at the top of my brain... what does it mean to walk out of the fridge... what does it mean when everyone remembers you dying except for you... hes mourned you but youre back and you didnt even know you were gone... funerals are for the living....

paige duplass (the silt verses) my girlllll augh. augh. my false prophet... its been going not great for her lately and every scene with her recently makes me want to rip my heart out and sob and sob and sob. she just wants to fix the whole world. is that too much to ask. it might be. ill support her forever tho idc if her godchild fucks up and destroys the whole earth i will always be on her side. she went to business school shes a star employee shes an alcoholic shes mother mary. shes everything

amanda young (saw) you knew she was gonna be here i love her so bad. ive spoken at length about amanda before u all know my thoughts. saw iii you will always be famous

jung heewon (orv) thought id throw in a recent interest even tho im still no where done orv^_^ jhw is my favorite so far ever since her scene where she first used judgement day... i love the avenging angel type of character esp the way she does it (attack dog baby!) and i love her dynamic with the rest of the group.

kim kitsuragi (disco elysium) everyday i am thinking about him if you dont see me post about him know that im still thinking about him. i miss him bad

clara (pathologic) shes just a baby... i love her... i love a girl who is silly but so tragic i love a girl who was born in an empty grave i love a girl with frightening powers she doesnt understand i love a girl placed in a situation outside of her control who is still blamed when it goes wrong.

apollo (wildstorm) doesnt count as dc ok. im reaching here im rlly not into that many things its mostly just dc comics. but its his wildstorm self i actually care about sooo counting it. i miss when he killed ppl

calroy cruller (dimension 20) sorry im gonna be a calroy head forever probably hes so special to me. i love villain monologues i love treason i love betrayal.

sasha (borderlands) not into borderlands anymore but she makes this list bc sasha isnt a borderlands character to me ok shes a dear friend. i love her forever even if i will probably never play those games again. ok thats a lie but ill probably never talk about them online again. ok thats a lie too

eddie brock (marvel) it was truly a struggle to think of ten fandoms i currently care about um. i dont even like current venom comics. but eddie will always be special to me i love u insane girl<3

not tagging anyone today im way too tired to think of ppl sorryyyy but if u want to do this just say i tagged u 👍

[vypridae]

ogh sorry but i neeeeeed to rant and get this out of my system this is very lazily thrown together and probably is gonna sound like im a jackass but its just irritating me so bad tonight

(all ships / names / etc censored to keep out of main tags cuz i think thats a thing tumblr does but honestly idk anymore)

i HATE b s d twitter. ill go on there to try to find s*glai content cuz tumblr and ao3 dont have much most of the time, and i'll only find hate or transfem s*gma. and like! that's such a real and valid hc. but for the love of fuck i see people forcing it onto people and i'd rather die (not die as in never hc that i love trans hcs but as a high sigma kin and also who has been feeling EXTREMELY dysphoric as of late i would rather not be forced to see so much she/her s*gma cuz it makes ME feel INSANELY dysphoric [for some dumb reason]).

but also like 90% of twt users Bully others for not using she/her for s*gma. like. guys. stop FORCING HEADCANONS its so stupid let people hc what they want!!!!!! i love ur hcs but jesus fucking christ!!!!!!! stop fORCING IT ON ME like ive never liked forcing hcs on people if u dont think the same about my blorbo thats fine!!!!! we have different genres of our blorbo!!!!! BUT STOP TRYING TO FORCE YOUR VERSION OF MY BLORBO ON ME!!!!! PLEASE

i also just generally hate how many people are like "s*glai is ass lmao" like dont post hate pls. esp when they're a fy*lai shipper like hello u ship the most BASIC bsd ship ever (no hate on fy*lai) BUT LIKE... UGRH it makes me so upset for no reason like abehbehbehbehbr

tl;dr i fucking hate looking for s*glai or s*gma content on twitter

[dutchwinter]

okay sending u albums before i go tobbed., two dreams the amulet olg?

damb okay. two dreams. the amulet. on letting go. okay. lets go

two dreams:

my favorite lyric: um. all of them. wha tthe fuck. but i do have to scream THIS MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO SAVE OUR LIVES I CREATE DISASTER OUT OF ANYTHING DONT HESITATE THIS MIGHT BECOME JUST HOW IT ALL WAS MEANT TO END every time. but also all over imposter syndrome AND electric moose. AND ALL OF CURITIBA. SHOULD I BE KEEPING SCORE. FOREVERS COME FOR US. WILL WE GET STUCK ON WORDS THAT GIVE OUR SOULS AWAY. all of sleep well. all of late nap. all of buzzhenge. SORRY IF I NEVER REGAIN THE SENSE OF SIGHT WE WERE NOT MEANT TO BE NOT MEANT TO RECLAIM LIFE IS NOT A WHISPER ACCIDENTAL END I CAN PLAY THE HERETIC DANCING AT THE END. all of die on the west coast. CAN YOU FORGIVE ME THE WAY THAT IVE BEEN. HELL COULD BE EASY IF TIME COULD RELEASE US. THAT WHICH CONTROLS ME WILL TAKE YOU AWAY. I NEVER WANTED TO DIE ON THE WEST COAST. NEVER TO HOLD YOU AGAIN. all of gone for good. all of ALL OF IT. FUCK YOU.

my favorite song: i cant do this i have to do top three. electric moose, even better, imposter syndrome. but also die on the west coast and sleep well and curitiba. CURITIBA. and discount on psychic readings. and I THINK YOU GET IT.

the song that makes me cry: even better die on the west coast gone for good imposter syndrome curitiba. etc. the entire album. im

the song that’s a fucking bop: discount on psychic readings. late nap. buzzhenge. all of the songs are SO FUCKING GOOD ITS INSANE on this album but like. if i turn off the words and my brain to those i can just have a great time you know.

the song i most dislike/least love: buzzhenge? but like. I LOVE THAT SONG MORE THAN ANYTHING ON EARTH. i actually cant chose. fuck you. if i had to chose a different one maybe drift. but DRIFT GETS DONE SO DIRTY. does it matter if it takes my life. how can you honestly say forever. WE KEEP ON MAKING ALL THE SAME MISTAKES??

our last shot who i didnt mention by name im sorry. i love you so much. justice for our last shot im so fucking serious. i never wanted you to feel this way. i know its never gonna be the same. the hurt expected you to feed the chain. you ruined everything and everyone was out the door. when you were lonely. when you were scared. i didnt notice anybody care. YOU ARE SAVED. YOU ARE SHAME.

last point. i really like this album. like a fucking lot. its very special.

the amulet: okay now this album im not as familiar with as olg and esp two dreams i know her like shes me but i do love the amulet verry very dearly. [his ass has listened to her twice]

my favorite lyric: no answer i dont know her well enough for that. but like. damn is some of this shit JUST SO??? GOD. GOOD GOD.

my favorite song: id have to say lustration!!! but god damn every fucking song is so good im gonna eat it.

the song that makes me cry: yes

the song that’s a fucking bop: i cannot recall what most of this album sounds like bc the only times ive listened to it all the way through is after already listened to every other circa album that day so??

the song i most dislike/least love: none of them fuck you. but also i dont know this album that well i just know that i love her so dearly!!! if you played any of the songs for me right now id be singing along like yeah i know this but i dont have them in my head yet.

on letting go:

my favorite lyric: all of on letting go. all of the difference between. all of kicking your crosses down.

my favorite song: kycd. your friends are gone. on letting go. but probably kycd. i also really like difference between, mandala, travel hymn, in the morning and amazing, the greatest lie. and of course every other song of course.

the song that makes me cry: kycd. your friends are gone. living together makes me want to punch things.

the song that’s a fucking bop: difference between. travel hymn. but also. YES. ALL OF THEM

the song i most dislike/least love: carry us away or close your eyes to see? im just not that familiar with them sadly

x ask game SEND ME THESE i love these ones!!!

[legobatjoker]

BTW omg im sos orry iv been so awful w like. not rbing it at all like. i want to iv just been like less of a preson and perhaps a pile of sludge on the ground lately yk how it is DFHDFD such a silly way of saying tht iv been all over the place o iv had issues w rbing it DFGFDGDF but anyway all of your art lately has been like. so so incredible omg !!! like i dont know the les mis guys unfortably but its all so incredible w like. the drawing how the hell r u so talented its like. insane how good ur art is !!!!! i mean that has been true for a while now but yk i shld say it more it shld b said more !!!

DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT AT ALL i will ofc never like be upset at you for not rbbing my art or anything esp bcuz ik u like support my silly little art esp with messages like these bcuz like. it does make me vv happy that u think itse cool bcuz u r so cool and so yah:33 !!! idk what im saying other than dw ab rbing and thank u v much and i love u <3

[6shooterz]

i’ll listen to your oc rambles 😁😁

you'll regret it but i'm gonna ramble anyway under read more lfjg;dlf TY YIN YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES MEEEEE ILY <3333

i'm using this picrew rn bc ive never drawn a proper ref for my ocs so pls forgive me

the nerd with purple hair is rail; she's in her late twenties and used to be a researcher duo along with her sister (pink hair), stock whose main goal in life was to study indigenous cultures... emphasis on 'was' because, during one of their expeditions, they end up shipwrecked on an inhabited island, where rail and stock end up constantly fighting to the point it ruins them mentally. rail comes across the mirage-mirage fruit after several days of refusing to eat anything stock gives her as a grudge, and eats it -- however rather than giving her a boost in power, due to her wrecked mental state, the mirages/hallucinations she creates end up ruining her even more as she finds herself unable to control her hallucinations.

this ultimately is the catalyst that ruins her relationship with her sister stock as rail cannot control her power and how it ruins her, and rail's hallucinations affect stock, too. rail however is Batshit Insane and ends up delusional, esp when her devil fruit was working against her bc she didn't know how to control it AND was not in the right mind to control it

after barely surviving on the island, a marines ship passes nearby and stock screams after the marines to save them, which then ends up damaging her vocal cords so she has a very... peculiar raspy voice?? anyway they get rescued by the marines but stock fucking hates her sister now, so stock begs the marines to shackle rail with sea prism stone because rail would probably attempt to murder them because she was commanded to by the gods to do it (Mentol Iwness At Its Max)

the marines help them get back onto an island where they can recover, but stock is full of hatred for her sister who she refuses to even acknowledge they're related... but between stock and rail, stock is the one who's a teensy bit saner, so stock pretty much treats rail like a rabid dog rather than... a sister... it's kinda fucked up but they're both ill so pls don't think I'm glorifying abuse or smth?? sjdhask they're just both not mentally sane and my intentions are to write their relationship as unhealthy and not a good one, except both sides are in the wrong (stock is 70% in the wrong though)

stock and rail live in town together (stock works at a bar) except stock keeps rail shackled with sea prism stone at all times just to keep her power from harming stock, rail, and everyone in town. this is where it goes to shit bc stock brings home a girl to do the Y'know with but the girl finds rail with shackles around her ankles and gets her out bc she doesn't know why rail is being tied down

this pretty much unleashes rail's uncontrollable powers so she's at... like... mental illness Level 99999. stock, who finally thinks she's free from rail's hallucinations and awful delusions finally snaps and tries to uh... murder her sister. but she can't bring herself to take the life of someone, especially her own family so she just ties rail up and shoves her onto a boat into the ocean for her to sail until she dies

except rail doesn't die because stock fucking sucks at tying knots so rail ends up surviving on the sea by herself, completely alone with her delusions and her inability to control her power. she ends up using her hallucinations to make her tiny little dinghy boat seem like a warship/treasure-filled abandoned ship/etc etc and tricks other people on the sea so she can rob them, so that's how she essentially survives on the sea. however, no sane person has been able to withstand the horror of her delusional hallucinations which she doesn't control so basically everyone with her dies/escapes from insanity.

so basically the straw hats stop on the island stock lives in to stock up on food and they get along and blah blah straw hats go back onto the sea... except after a day of sailing, they come across rail's ship mirage and the straw hats find rail and bc luffy has 1 braincell in his head he doesn't even get affected by the hallucinations and they find rail who is... yeah... insane. very. basically rail tries to kill them because death is the only way to save everyone (she was told this by a neon pink octopus. knowing the op universe this could be real but for story's sake she's just insane)

they realize rail pretty much looks like stock and they get rail to tell them about her relation with stock, and... yeah... everything rail says is like 70% incoherent bullshit. this is getting too long so the tldr is that the straw hats send rail back home despite rail refusing to due to stock's treatment of her, and i haven't thought about it this far yet but stock and rail do not magically get cured of insanity and become besties again. it's gonna take years, hell even several centuries to fix the wounds they've given each other ... IM SORRY IT'S SO DARK DASDJFAL

oh and red hair is hira. she has daddy issues and her family is originally from alabasta. her bloodline has this weird tradition of feeding the solar-solar fruit to the youngest daughter of the generation, and she's eaten the fruit EXCEPT no one's ever told her that she ate a devil fruit so she just thinks her body is too stiff to swim in the sea and that everyone else has her powers. and the devil fruit's name might sound overpowered but it's basically just her physical strength + speed + pain insurance just being higher when she's out in the sun, and gets weaker when unable to absorb sunlight. if she chose to train the strongest she'd get is, like, being able to turn her skin burning-hot just like a solar panel by absorbing sunlight JDGJS

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[orangejuicex3-mieoi]

This is random but are you a pro shipper ? If so how as an artist do you deal with people judging your ‘problematic’ ship art ? I feel like I have to hide that I’m a pro shipper on twitter these days out of fear of being ganged up on and harassed as I’ve seen happen to many others lately, esp in the genshin and anime community,, (also I really wub your art you are a huge inspiration to me ! 🥺💕)

ya i am a proshipper! and the only way ive dealt with it is just to never respond to those people and to just block and delete their comments if they comment on your art. I’ve actually been harassed a lot in the past by antis esp on my old tumblr account bc i drew black butler artwork. It is definitely scary how willing people are to back an artist into a corner by contacting their job and spreading misinformation JUST OVER A 2D FICTIONAL CHARACTER...insane.. I recently got a lot of shit for my miraculous ladybug artwork and i started responding to the antis and its just pointless. I got many messages telling me to kill myself over just something as small as drawing the two main characters of mirauclous ladybug about to kiss (when they’ve kissed in the show multiple times and are fake 3d models USFDG) They just want to see you as a terrible person and dont want to listen to actual psychologists explaining why fiction is helpful. Thank you so much and know that i support you and relate to what you’re feeling about this.<33

[mavspeed]

First Line Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Hey @applesfallingfromblondehair, thanks for the tag love!! likewise i dont usually do this but this feels interesting so lets see if my ass has improved over the last few stories lmfkjgjk

also this will prob be a mix of xmcu fic + kingsman fic bc i think i have a more or less equal number of fics written for both

1.

The first time Charles meets Lucifer Morningstar, actual devil from hell, ruler of the underworld, fallen son of the lord above and god knows what else, it had been after Erik had been sentenced to life imprisonment in the highest security cell in the Pentagon. 

- this is from a professor and a devil walk into a bar, which is kinda a crossover rarepair fic that rose out of me and mutuals on twitter discussing tom ellis and james mcavoy being roommates and kinda... devolved from there. i am proud of this one lmfnjgkj

2.

“Are you okay, Professor?” Hank asks quietly.

Charles blinks. He supposes it’s a valid question. He’s been in a bit of a funk the past few days- scratch that actually, the past few years. He’s just lost so much- his father, and then his mother’s love, and then Raven and Erik and Sean and countless others. Building a school, gaining students he loved to teach and nurture hadn’t helped him in the slightest, and he’s as lost as he ever was, wandering the halls of a drafty mansion alone, feeling like he’s been stranded at sea even whilst surrounded by people.

- from in the belly of the beast, which again came out of me wondering what would have happened if fox had gone w their original plan and charles had been that last horseman instead of erik. this story will prob gain a sequel... sometime in the near future when im not too bogged down by current wips

3. 

The Xavier family hall of the deceased- because of course they’re weird enough to have a cemetery- is full of rows upon rows of holograms. Charles is four and gets bored of his father crying over his mother’s hologram, so he toddles over to the other rows. Unfamiliar names, all of them- Charles is young, and he doesn’t understand death. He doesn’t even know who his mother is, who’d died at childbirth and left him with a father still at a loss when it came to bringing up a kid.

- from tequila on a spaceship, the sequel to a fic that still has some people angry at me i think. this fic never did gain as much traction as the first one but im still proud of it esp since it discusses certain themes of reincarnation that ive always wanted to see explored for myself in reincarnation aus (and i only ever saw it in danveresque’s reincarnation au)

4.

There are cork boards covering every inch of the wall. Red strings, photographs, conspiracy threads, everything. Raven takes it in, swallowing, noticing the picture in the middle.

It’s one of Charles, when he’d been in university. His final year- he'd just been done presenting his year- end project, his fringe a tumbled mess and a bright smile on his lips. Erik had taken the picture, Charles scurrying to his side once he’d been done and demanding to look at the image, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. He looks like how Raven had always imagined him to be.

“He wouldn’t want this,” she finally says, turning to look at Erik.

- from tequila on a beach, the first fic to the fic above. this fic is v special to me because i actually wrote this on a spiral after having a very tough visit with one of my parents in the hospital after a surgery for organ removal to prevent the onset of cancer. its simpler than my other fics yet i think more powerful because of what happens. also i think the first time i killed charles off lol (spoiler alert). also idk if ppl were aware of this but this is called tequila on a beach precisely bc charles and erik were tipsy from tequila at a frat party and then went to a beach. its the way they first met (and will continue to meet for all their next lives)

5. 

Erik doesn’t know how it all started. Maybe it was when his insane sergeant had started rambling about imaginary cities, treasures of gold and cursed incantations. Maybe it was when trickles of rumours had started pouring down about the higher ups wanting to investigate unfound territory, disregard the Egyptian government’s feelings on the matter, and put a previously unfound myth on the map for all the world to see. Or maybe, Erik thinks, it was when archaeologist Klaus Schmidt put a bullet through his mother’s head and he ended up going to America armed with dual citizenship and the sole intent of wanting to drive a coin directly between Schmidt’s eyes, joining a division of the American military focused solely on guarding archaeological digs- more importantly, in Egypt, where Schmidt’s interest had shifted.

- from courting the end of the world, another one i’m just insanely proud of! this is the first time i’ve ever attempted a multichapter movie au and it actually managed to work pretty well, i at least haven’t run out of inspiration for it yet lmfjgjg. also erik as himbo rick connell... very rent free in my head

6. 

The day after they murder Shaw and leave his house of horrors, Erik crosses the Canadian border with Charles across his back. Charles had started getting tired while they’d been walking, stumbling and nearly tripping until Erik had forced him to get on his back, ignoring Charles’ protests.

The blood’s seeping out steadily from Charles’ nose, staining his shirt and soaking it through. It’s been leaking on and off, and the effects are already obvious in the dark circles beneath Charles’ eyes. Any more, and Erik knows they’ll have to find him a doctor. He hopes the nearest town in Canada has one that would be willing to treat them.

- from a world built for two. i actually dk where the inspiration for this came from, i think i was once again on a depressive spiral and wanted to break my comfort characters into pieces and put them together again. this also deals with codependency and unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result of trauma which i showed as sweet in the fic but i would def not recommend in real life. pls if u relate to either charles or erik in this go see a therapist

7. 

The call comes in the afternoon, an hour before Charles is supposed to teach his Intro to Genetics class. Frowning, Charles abandons the game of Candy Crush he’d admittedly been playing rather badly and picks it up. “Charles sp-”

“We need you, Prof,” Kitty says desperately into the phone. “He’s been in a temper all morning, and then Alex’s reports missed out a whole subsection, so he’s fired the entire marketing team! Please, Professor, you have to come immediately!”

- from and we can be pirates. i wrote this in like 4 seconds for my friend who wanted professor charles and ceo erik and actually did not expect this to gain the attention it did... its always the fics u write in like 4 seconds lmfjggj. a sequel for this Is coming too probably at some point in the very far future

8. 

Charles Xavier can admit as he sits across from Essex, hands cuffed to the desk, that in hindsight, this had perhaps not been one of his better ideas.

He refuses to admit it as he controls Erik’s mind, preventing him from lashing out and making him close his eyes to the nightmare unfolding in front of him. He refuses to admit it as he gets shoved into the back of a black pickup truck, and the butt of a gun is smashed across his forehead hard enough to knock him out cold for a few hours. He refuses to admit it when he wakes up what appears to be hours later in a cold interrogation room, hands cuffed to the table in front of him, with a suppression collar rendering his mind dark and almost achingly silent.

- from from the land of gods (bring me home). i’ve been struggling w this fic a lot (it didnt come as easily to me as the first one did) but its getting there. also i put charles through hell in this rip sorry mister xavier

9.

In the aftermath, both of them stand at the border of the mansion. The air feels frigid, slicing into Raven’s lungs like a thousand paper cuts. “Charles, please,” she begs, heart in her throat and voice hoarse. “He wouldn’t want you to be like this. He wouldn’t want you to do this. It’s not too late, you can come back.”

Charles gazes back, a brick wall. He hasn’t even cleaned up, still in that damnable yellow and blue suit with blood drying in the corners of his mouth, the bridge of his nose. There’s nothing in his eyes- blank, almost see through. He looks as if he’s a mere shade, a ghost lounging about where he once was. Raven knows better.

“I will raze the world to the ground,” he finally says, his voice free of any inflection, “and when I’m done, no one will be left standing. Not you, and certainly not me.”

- from where all the poets went to die, a dark fic based on what would have happened if moira had killed erik with the bullets. its the first time ive written dark charles and it was v fun if im being honest

10. 

Charles is a light sleeper. It’s a trait that stays with him- all the way from his father and the tests to taking care of his mother to Cain Marko and his fists to Cuba and then now, the dust of Washington settling over him and making the waking world lie an inch beyond his eyelids. It therefore stands to reason that the second the windowsill creaks he’s up in a shot, hoisting himself up and lashing out with his telepathy instantly.

That’s not a trait that had stayed with him. That’s a newly formed trait, bitter and bold, carved into existence by Cuba by his students disappearing one by one in Vietnam by the letters that announce Sean’s death in black unfriendly print by-

The tendrils of his telepathy forged cold and distant meet a barrier and recoil, stunned. He focuses his eyes and then widens them, staring at Erik who stares back, hidden beneath that infernal muddied magenta helmet of his. They stare at each other for a moment before Erik clears his throat.

- from in the valley of kings (you will come home). my first ever cherik fic! im actually also proud of this one even if i ended it horribly and half my mutuals refuse to read it bc of how it ended LMFJGJGJ. i cant believe this was supposed to be a funny and cute kid fic and then i turned it into an angst ridden mess. also leo is actually an oc whose adult version is fancasted as charlie rowe by me and another mutual on twitter and im v proud that readers are willing to die for the baby

11. 

Mike has to google it, finding a crafts shop nestled into the corner of the street right smack in the middle of Louisiana, past a long and winding dirt road and the crumbling farmhouses relics of a time long past. The air is hot, humid, sticking to the back of his neck like an unwieldy parasite as he pushes the door of the shop open to the sound of the bell tinkling above.

He finds the origami paper quickly enough and has a momentary breakdown about what Bill’s favourite colour even is- he had never thought to ask him. Twenty seven years of following every single footstep of his like a dedicated, most definitely creepy stalker, three months of more than a few states traversed with Bill’s laughter now echoing in his ears like a shadow that trails after him, and this is what stumps him. It takes ten minutes, but he finally settles on light green.

- my first and last entry into the IT fandom bc i love these two but to be very fair there isn’t much content out there for him (and twitter content actually intimidates me lmfjgjjg) a thousand paper cranes never got much traction either but i suspect its bc i was horrible at promoting it. also i very much love this fic even if it never did that well bc ive always wanted to write a fic like this after watching the movie in cinemas in 2019

12.

ok nsfw i guess 

Mornings start like this- Eggsy snuffling into David’s neck, attempting to work his way back up to wakefulness as David sleeps the sleep of the dead, the streams of morning sunlight gradually lightening up the room. It’s a while before he gets the energy to sit up, pushing an eager V off the bed- V for Vendetta, a kitten named after one of David’s favourite movies that they’d adopted about a month after moving in together- before stumbling to the loo. He’s already in the shower when David comes in, naked as the day he’s born with his arms entwining themselves around Eggsy’s waist as he murmurs a sleep-soft, “Good morning, love,” as he presses a kiss into the two-days-old hickey on Eggsy’s shoulder. His breath smells of toothpaste, the minty fresh kind he insists on buying from Target no matter how much Eggsy insists that the other brand is much better. Without fail, Eggsy always has a split second thought of thinking that he must truly be in heaven because no way can this be his reality, every single day, before sinking to his knees and allowing David’s cock to hit the back of his throat.

- from that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of. i genuinely wish i had an opinion for this but i don’t remember writing this its been way too long

13. 

The first time Eggsy sees her is in Trafalgar Square.

Trafalgar Square is uncomfortably packed on any normal day, but on New Year’s it is quite the hothouse. Sweating armpits and hot bodies plastered against each other, the twinkling lights overhead providing a flash of blue and green and yellow and red, screaming children and giggling teenagers shoving their way through- it’s a recipe for disaster. Eggsy doesn’t know how he ends up there. It happens sometimes- one second he blinks, sequestered in the comfort of his living room, and the next he’s somewhere else, as if he’s been teleported. “Life goes past you,” Tilde had said once, “and you don’t even notice.” Tilde would be right.

- this is a roxy and eggsy friendship centric fic that i abandoned bc i lost my ardor for this world about the same time i got into xmen lmfjgjg. all the king’s horses also had some great fancasts in it with dev patel fancasted too... rip ig

14. 

once again, nsfw

Eggsy, truth be told, doesn’t actually like having sex in bathrooms. First of all, bathrooms generally have an unsanitary air about them. Besides that, the granite of the sinks always feel cold against his hips, there is the ever present fear of being walked in on and unlike what people might say, he actually really isn’t that much of an exhibitionist- and truth be told, he’s never liked the look of himself in the mirror mid coitus.

For David Budd, however, he suspects he might be up for anything.

- from do you ever dream of me. im actually proud of this fic and this series, i never usually write straight up porn or friends w benefits and i think it worked well in here. once again didnt get much traction but that was very of the norm for my kingsman fics lmfjgj

15.

It is on his fifth meeting with the therapist on site that she brings the issue up. The elephant in the room- or the bomb , David thinks morbidly. If asked, he can’t remember specifics about that day now. All he remembers is this- the burn of Julia’s picture in his wallet against his thigh, the Botticelli painting on the far wall and Miss Paulson’s face, severe and unsmiling.

“When you couldn’t reach Julia,” she says, after he finishes describing the feeling of running to Julia, the panic searing his chest as he’d prayed for his legs to work faster so he could do something, anything to reach her hand. “How did that make you feel?”

- from your haunted social scene. i genuinely... do not remember anything about this either helpfkjgjg,,, this has 55 comments tho which. Nice

16.

David brings her home on- in a move far too cliche for it to be reality- a stormy night. It’s in fact storming so hard the windowpanes shudder like leaves in the wind, droplets crashing against the glass in a cacophony so loud Eggsy more than once considers turning the radio all the way up to drown it out. He’d gone scrounging for David’s sweatshirts instead of his own halfway through, wincing intermittently at the flashes of thunder. At a particularly loud one JB had jumped up, squeaked in a very undoglike manner and skidded across the floor to cower beneath the sofa, only coming out when coaxed by Eggsy to do so. Officer Oatmeal had watched the proceedings from her regal place by the armchair, dozy eyed and blinking heavily.

- from a cat named lavender. from what i remember this was also my first try at bringing up trans eggsy

17.

He first appears at the black prince on a cold Monday evening, eyes like Frank Sinatra and lips arresting anyone’s gaze if they weren’t careful enough. He stood out too, clad in a respectable bomber jacket and boots that clicked against the tile rhythmically and loudly, a sort of organised, measured cacophony.

“Go and serve him,” Andrew said, fat and disinterested, seated behind the counter and idly flicking through bills, less than ten percent of which he pays Eggsy. “I’m busy.”

- from trust is left in lovers after all. i never continued this which is sad bc this did get a lot of attention... it was just v hard to keep the story going

18.

It usually rains cats and dogs in London but for some reason, the rain is heavier than usual today. The droplets splatter against the windows in a constant buzzing rhythm, the sound meshing together in a melody not altogether pleasant to the ears. It’s half past five and yet the light has to be kept on because that’s how dark the sky has gotten- thunder rolls like a loud crack, abrupt and deafening, causing Daisy to jump in her seat.

“Just a thunderstorm, flower,” Eggsy says. They’re seated at the dinner table, Eggsy going over her homework while David sits opposite them, hunched over his laptop as he attempts to finish a post mission report. Eggsy is half convinced he gave up ten minutes ago- he’s got his earbuds in and he hasn’t really typed anything in a while, eyes focused on the screen. His eyebrows are scrunched up in a glare that’s too adorable for his own good- and for Eggsy’s.

- from could feel like kryptonite. a lot of my kingsman fics are actually so much happier than my cherik ones... i should prob look into that rip

19.

“When you’re done lazing around you can come in, you dozy dog,” he tells Officer Oatmeal, who butts her nose into his knee. She’s the only one not on a diet in the house, Eggsy deeming her far too healthy and skinny to need one anyway. In fact, she’s under strict instructions by Eggsy to fatten up instead.

Once the animals are done feeding- Eggsy sporting a suspicious scratch on his left forearm- they settle down to eat their scrambled eggs and toast. David’s taken a large gulp of his scalding coffee when Eggsy says, all of a sudden, “So, I have a school reunion.”

- from gonna set this dance alight. don’t remember much about this either tbh

20. (the last one FINALLY)

It isn’t a big event or explosion that makes David realise he wants to see his father’s ring sitting pretty on Eggsy’s index finger. No teary confessions in the rain like in the rom coms Eggsy loves to rent out and sniffle his way through, or a fight that makes David see sense. In the end, it’s breakfast that cinches the deal for him.

The day had started out normally enough. David wakes up at eight like clockwork, the soft downy hair at the base of Eggsy’s neck tickling his nose with his arm locked tight around his waist. He’d yawned, exhausted- mostly because they’d stayed up very late into the night making good use of the bed- before standing up and shucking his shirt off to head for the shower. Eggsy had shifted in his sleep, mumbling something unintelligible, and the sight had been too endearing to resist so he’d bent down, pressing a kiss to his forehead and smiling when Eggsy groaned out loud.

- from lover boy rules. i actually started a lot of my kingsman fics in the same way which is rather awful of me. im glad thats changed with my xmen fics lmfjgjk. also this has 15 comments???? i dont even get that much attention with my xmcu fics these days... which is arguably a more active fandom... Hello

anyway that’s the end of it needless to say i do not know 10 other authors so im just gonna tag whoever i know rn: @hellfre , @queerneto, @ikeracity, @drinkingstars, @zebraljb