#i hope im never this late ever again jeez
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IM 5 MONTHS LATE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY IM SO SORRY đđđ @chcctah
Wasn't sure if I should even post them bc it's THAT LATE and that's not only embarrassing as hell but I feel bad BUT ! That doesn't even matter, YOU MATTER and every year your birthday comes, im just glad to hear from you to know you're still alive and living your life on the other side of the world! You deserve to have your life celebrated, so even though these are so damn late, I LOVE U AND IM GLAD U WERE BORN AND IM GLAD WE MET!!!!!!! I'm always glad to see you online enjoying what you're into and it makes me so honored that i get to see how much you've grown since we've met.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! AND HAPPY HANUKKAH!!!!!
#gifts#chcctah#south park#kyman#OUR KYMANS#OUR BABIES#EVEN BUTTERS#ive never been so late but like ESP THIS LATE ITS INSANE#ive been trying to draw but its been so hard#im soglad i AT LEAST finished these by this year#but damn dude đ#i hope im never this late ever again jeez#ilyilyilyily#u matter and u always will
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whoever requested older brother is GOATED im obsessed i #needhim plz make a new part đ
well ur in luck! (sorry this is sooo late chat.)
ïżœïżœïżœÂ Off-limits, Right? ft. katsuki bakugo
IN WHICH...just when you thought things couldnt get any weirder with katsuki, he just has to come into your life again. you find yourself even enjoying your time with him, there was no way you were catching feelings for him, right? you hated him! yet suddenly you get a text the next morning.
comments, likes & reblogs mean the world to me! 18+ â minors DNI.
CONTENT CONTAINS; semi-suggestive, swearing, princess used in a mocking way (or not?), katsukis prolly ooc, kinda corny.
WORD COUNT; 1.7k / a/n; read part one or this wont rlly make sense! I hope I met everybodys standards...
song rec; 'friends' chase atlantic
â all rights reserved © CATSUKKII 2024-2025. all fanfics & layouts belong to me. do not copy, translate, repost on tiktok or any other platform of the works seen here.
ever since that night youâve avoided katsuki like the plague, embarrassed and quite frankly confused about everything that happened, how would this change your guys relationship, what would you do if your brother found out? you were sure heâd kill you and katsuki.
whenever heâd come over youâd go back to hiding in your room as if nothing had happened, katsuki absolutely hated this. anytime heâd yell through the door, or find you in the kitchen you would just ignore him, none of your stupid comments or bickering, just, silence.
âkatsukiâs coming over.â your brother speaks from the dining table, scrolling aimlessly on his phone. âalright.â you reply kicking your legs off the coffee table, grabbing your phone and tucking it into your back pocket.
âwait.â he speaks, you sigh and turn around crossing your arms. âyes?â you say with sass dripping in your tone. âwhat happened with you and katsuki? because last time he had to babysit-â you cut him off quickly, âforcefully hang out.â
he rolls his eyes but plays along nonetheless. âforcefully hung outâŠyou seemed to get along, you even hugged!â he exclaimed, you attempted to hide the grimace on your face at the reminder of that, and the stupid look on his face as he whispered âcall meâ.
âpeople change.â you speak and rush from the conversation, jogging up the stairs quickly as your brother stares and furrows his brows at you, but he ignores it. you and katsukis relationship had always been confusing to say the least.
-
âhey, sleeping beauty.â a knock at your door as katsuki's voice can be heard on the other side, you ignored him as always and continued reading your book peacefully. but he was being persistent this time.
âwhats with the silent treatment princess?â another knock you ignore.
the door slowly opens. what the fuck? hes never opened the door?
âwhat the fuck? katsukiâgo!â you leap off the bed throwing your book, caring less about your place in the novel at the moment. you rush to the door and weakly attempt to push him out, yet he barely budged from his large build.
âjeez, you hiding pornos in here or something?â he smirks at you coyly, partially over your weak attempts to push him and also the way you groan when he makes a sassy remark for the millionth time. âyouâre so annoying! why did you even come in here!â you whine and stop your honestly sad attempts at pushing him out of your room.
âJust me and you again, probably for an hour or two.â you lean your head forward and furrow your brows with a nasty scowl on your face.
âso get the fuck out my room and watch tv or something.â he puts his hands up in fake defense and bites his lip while that dumb smirk never leaves his face. âwhy so aggressive princess?â he slowly takes a step forward which causes you to step back.
âi thought we got over this little dispute after that movie, hm?â another step. âyâknow, the one where you sat on my lap..â another step. he was taunting you. âwe kissed.â his voice was low and deep, almost a whisper.
âyou were practically grinding on me.â another step, you feel your back hit the wall as he corners you, you cant deny the blush creeping on to your cheeks.
âshut up katsukiâŠâ you try to sound intimidating, yet it comes out more of a mumble. his muscled arms cage you in, you cant help but shy away from his gaze, you just wanted to melt into a puddle and die on spot.
he laughs menacingly at you, looking down with a dark glint in his eyes. âawe poor thing,â he faux pouts at you.
âquit avoiding me, princess.â he annunciates every word, leaning in closer, your noses practically touching. you can feel his hot breath against yours, your breathing is getting heavier at the tension.
âIâm not avoiding you.â you bite back, he only smirks wider; he loved that you could put up a fight. âI just dont like you.â he fake gasps at your words, removes his arms from their place on the wall near your head, crossing them over his chest.
âyou love me.â he teases, you push him away to the best of your abilities. the tension, the teasing, the closeness of his hot breath against yours; it was slowly becoming to much.
âwhat do you want from me katsuki.â your tone is gruff, he hated and loved it, he loved that you would give him a challenge and put up a fight, but he also hated that you wouldnt just give in, the one time you did it got interrupted.
âcmon girl,â he starts with a sigh, âyou know you want this just as bad as i do.â he steps closer and places his arms around your waist, you shy away from his gaze, yet you didnt move his arms.
âI dont know what youâre talking about.â you wiggle away from his grasp and pick your book up. âgoddamnitâ see you made me lose my place.â you mumble as you flip through the pages. he rolls his eyes at your nerdy behavior.
âalright nerd whatever..â he grumbles at you. âcmon lets watch a movie or something Iâm bored as hell.â how could he be talking so casually after all this? you scoff as you continue flipping through the papers.
âthat sucks.â he practically growls at you in frustration. âcmon Iâll do like, anything at this point.â
your face immediately lights up at his words, much to his dismay. he groans already regretting his decision in this.
-
âkatsukiâ stay still.â you swipe your makeup brush with blush all over it across his cheeks, katsuki was layed on your bed with a cute little bunny headband pushing his messy hair out of the way, with enough pushing and shoving you convinced him to let you do his makeup.
âthis shit tickles.â you grab his chin and force him to look at you, but you quickly regretted your decision when he looked up at you with those lazy low lidded eyes. you gulped and continued your work glamorizing him.
âwell beauty is pain.â you move on and continue your work dragging various products and brushes over his rough skin. âyour skin is so rough..but oddly clear..do you do skincare?â he furrows his brows and his lips turn into a scowl as he gives you a mean side eye.
âno I dont do fucking skincare.â you cant help but giggle at his defensive nature over something so tiny such as skincare.
âjeez i was just asking! Itâs nice, i wish my skin was clear like yours.â he snickers at your giggle aswell, but goes back to looking confused once you compare yourself to him.
âshut up, I like your skin.â you tsk at this and sarcastically breathe out a âyeah okay.â
âIâll beat your ass, shut up.â you laugh at him and continue your finishing touches, you apply a sticky lipgloss to his lips and tell him to rub them together. you reach for the handheld mirror near you and show him his new face beautified.
âhow do I take this shit off.â you gasp as he examines himself in the tiny mirror, ârelax ill take it off with a makeup wipeâŠright after I get a photo of this.â you quickly reach for your phone as his eyes widen and he lunges at you, youâre cackling at this while trying to get out of his grasp as you both struggle for the phone, he cant help the laughs that escape his own lips.
he ends up giving up, even though he could easily overpower you. you take stupid 0.5 photos of him as he side eyes the phone, youâre belly laughing through all of this, a smile creeps on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it. he only tolerates your dumb photos for a few minutes before slapping your phone and tackling you onto the bed.
âwhat the fuckâ katsuki!â you squeal as he squeezes you with his large arms. âget this shit off me.â he muffles into your shoulder, biting the skin as you push him off you.
the rest of the night ended with giggles and stupid shenanigans and you hate to say it but you were seriously having fun. eventually, the fun came to an end as the front door creaks open, you and katsuki both walking down the stairs with a wide smile on your faces.
âsee, I knew you two could get along!â your brother exclaims throwing his arms up in cheer, you and katsuki both roll your eyes at him and continue walking down the stairs.
âonly cause he let me do his makeup.â katsuki spins around and glares at you, he quickly faces your brother and attempts to explain but your brother is already dying of laughter.
âlisten its not likeâ okay, you can stop laughingâ ALRIGHT.â your brother is doubled over laughing just at purely imagining that you somehow convinced katsuki to let you put your pretty glitters and products all on his face.
âI have to show you the photos!â you giggle with him striding down the stairs past katsuki. katsuki sighs but a snicker still falls from his lips, he walks down the stairs and greets your parents as they rant and rave about how ânice he isâ.
you could care less in the moment though, as you had pulled your phone out to show your brother the stupid photos you got. although, eventually the laughter and chatter died down and katsuki was going home.
he bid everybody goodbye, hugging your parents and dabbing your brother up. stupid men. he spun around to you nonetheless and opened his arms, dragging your feet you let him wrap his beefy arms around you, practically squishing your head.
âI had fun.â you murmured into his chest, he hummed in agreement and let you go, not wanting to come off suspicious infront of your parents, but even more so to your brother.
he left, and you went back to your cave as always. you were lazily laying on your bed scrolling through stupid apps on your phone, you peacefully fell asleep with a smile on your face remembering the successful day.
the sun rose and shined through your window in the early morning, you yawned and lazily reached for ur phone as you rub the crust out of ur eyes.
ding!
oh?
katsuki texted you?
âŠwell now what do u do?
a/n; ahaaa⊠(might start doing smaus and it totally doesnât have anything to do with @/poemeaterđ) also if I make a pt 3 do u whores want smut or js more fluff and dating
tags; @mollyrocks420 @aquasorb
#bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo x you#bnha bakugou#bnha katsuki#.thenaoneshot#katsuki bakugo x y/n#katsuki bakugo x you#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x you#mha katsuki bakugo#mha x y/n#mha x you
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âIn my delulu eraâ expect i been in this era since the moment i was born, growing up without friends. At some point in my early years of life, (and im not talking about 7 or 8 im talking about 2 or 3) i must have thinked âpeople likes good children who are always nice and being cuteâ so here I'm a 15-year-old girl who has been a people pleasure all her life. I forgive anyone since i can remember, my first best friend? was embarrassed of me and would tell our other classmates i was her friend always leaving me alone during break. My sisters? both dicks, we are so not meant for each other all 3 of us have another personality all 3 of us hating the others one. My parents? My dad a old man who decided he wanted another couple of children at 40+ who is not a bad idea but since the relationships with the other two aren't great maybe you should have thinked twice last week he beated up my younger sister, MY BABY SISTER and i just watch without saying anything, i don't even know if i want to stay with him anymore, which is crazy because he is my daddy my hero and i can't do anything if not hate me for thinking this, my mom a woman who had children late in life, living her youth and I'm like great good for you mom but then i learn she lefted her boyfriend of ten years because his dad died and he was distant for six months, okay but what else? Or yes! at march i had a fever 40 Celsius i reapt 40 FUCKING CELSIUS and she kepted complain about her pains, MOM YOU ARE 53 IS OBLIUS YOU BACK HURT. My best friend, i know this man for now 4 years and Wanna know what he talled me when i telled what my father did? âUntil 40 years ago people everyone were doing it then it become strangeâ i can't even stand enter our chat. my other friend, i know her only for 9 months but she gotta be the most self centerd girl i ever knew, she never asked about me but when i talled her she started she gotten mad at me for not coming when i had the fever at march, she did not come to my birthday party because the guy who she has a crush had a game, fun fuct?she never talked to him and she had this crush for 2 years, whiteout taliking, she likes him only because of his appearance for all she can know he can be the most sexist man alive but still she preferred to go to his game. My grandmother, i don't know i fuck about my grandmother, she love me and my sister but she never calls we need to call her, i didn't call her and im didn't hear from her in a month, don't get me wrong i love her but jeez grandma you can call sometimes i don't need to always do it. All my fucking EVER classmates from the kindergarten to high school fuck you all, i tried be your friends elementary but i was a strange kid for your standards so alone, all day until i gotten home which i was alone again. To my kindergarten friends i loved you guys but why no one asked me ever to go to your home? Why when Lucrezia maded jokes on me you guys were laughing? I'm fat, i know it im always has been hope not always gotta be but at this point i don't care. to my middle school classmates i never been in more of a toxic place but at least you were my friends, if you aren't understanding i maded friendship with THE BOYZ, yup really stupid of me. to my high school classmates, school is ending and i never tried so hard to make friends but none of you even tried and im honestly tired i just would like someone to ask to go with me Friday night to do something instead of being home all day, and to my new classmates fuck you girls, i been nice since day one to you, i complimented your clothes and your hair, were the first to welcome you in the class and now you all joking on me behind my back well you girls know what?fuck you, hope you parents change you of schools and you go through what you making me. I'm tired to be the people pleases, the one who is nice, the boring person in the room, im fun i swear i simple can't act with people who i don't know well close i want you guys to make a move for me not i doing all the moves to win this fucking game, i want to give my first fucking kiss, i want i guy who i can kiss in all the way i want to and i don't want to wait until im 18 to do so thanks to a site or a app, i want to get drunk i want to go clubbing all night even if i don't like it. i want many and i mean many friends, i want a high school sweetheart i don't want what I'm having now, i don't deserve this I DESERVE BETTER.
sorry guys for this post i just needed to let go of something, it actually helped me so yay
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can I request a lil something? during the end of the manga or after the timeskip if you haven't read it yet, reiner still has feelings for historia and reader has one-sided feelings for him.
pieck gives reiner a small hint, saying he's wasting time while there's someone close to him that cares for him and points to you. he doesn't understand at first and maybe is conflicted about his feelings for you because of historia. reader is cool about it as she doesn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings.
a rollercoaster of emotions later, maybe there is a happy ending tho? i am curious to see what you can come up with đđ i have dreaming of this scenario before bed and i can't help but get jealous of his crush on historia abjdsndks maybe you can help reiner reciprocate reader-chan's feelings or not
thank u so much aly đđ„ș
reciprocation
pairing:Â reiner braun x reader
a/n:Â OMG yesss! honestly, i was kinda annoyed at how reiner still had a crush on historia. i know that isayama wanted to show how everything went back to normal, but i was hoping that reiner would have a bigger role in the allied nations instead of being "dumbed down" to having an obsession with her. MAYBE THATS JUST THE JEALOUSY SPEAKING LMAO đ i was hoping this would be longer, although school has been killing me so im really sorry!! i hope its okay đđ thank you honey!
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as reiner is handed historiaâs letter, you fold your hands on the table and watch him without a word. when he reads the lines and smells the parchment - jean saying something snarky afterward - you say nothing.
you want reiner to be happy: you want to see him at ease like this more, face soft as the leaf of the page flits from his pinched fingers.
and so you let the man speak about historia like sheâs a damn goddess, gushing over her handwriting, and keep your goddamn mouth shut. ignore your jealousy. your feelings.
the truth is, youâre in love with reiner.
you canât even remember how it happened, but you can remember the first time you looked into those hazel eyes, and how you knew that they were going to stick with you for eternity.
youâve come to accept his crush on the queen, though. reciprocation was never an option in your mind.
when jean begins to chew reiner out for lusting after a married woman, and reiner says something about jean being a horse, pieckâs gaze lands on you. âyouâre rather quiet,â she says softly, resting her head on her palm.
you shrug, turning away from her. âiâm just tired.â
pieck catches your chin between her lithe fingers, and turns you to face her with a tiny smile. the young woman is very perceptive, and youâve known her long enough.Â
thatâs when you notice the twinkle in her eye. sheâs planning something.
pieck releases your jaw then, sitting up in her chair. âyouâre wasting your time, reiner,â she says suddenly. âthereâs already someone you know who cares for you.â
you pretend to not hear pieck - and definitely pretend you donât see her faintly point at you through your peripheral. the movement of her fingers is barely there, but you catch it.
damn you, pieck.
the way youâre now pinned underneath armin, jean, connie, and reinerâs stares makes your stomach tie itself into knots with bubbling reluctance. shit, this is awkward. you want to run away.
still, you peer over to study reinerâs reaction. he looks confused at first, the contours of his face unreadable. you swear you see connie facepalm at the manâs cluelessness.
then reinerâs expression slowly changes: his eyes widen in awe, lips parting slightly, and brows knitting together. he seems genuinely surprised - and conflicted.
conflicted? why?
thereâs no time to explain yourself though, because the door creaks open and annie steps in. her words fall on your deaf ears, and when everyone stands up to leave, youâre the first one out of the room. work beckons you as always.
two days pass.
youâve been busy filling out tons of paperwork pertaining to the allied nations, so when youâre finally given a day off, you take it with open arms.Â
freedom at last.
you lean against a bench outside of headquarters, enjoying the salty breeze that flutters along your skin. itâs dusk, the sky covered in a gradient of neon colors as the sun dips below the horizon.
you havenât seen reiner since that day in the conference room. you wonder how heâs doing, what heâs thinking, how heâs holding up -
âhey.â
speak of the devil. you glance over your shoulder toward the voice, low and familiar.
reiner approaches you, clad in his uniform: the suit hugs his large frame perfectly, showing every flex of his muscles, and his blonde hair is neatly parted. the black tie looped around his neck just pulls it all together. it has you weak at the knees every. single. time.
âhey,â you answer, giving reiner a smile as he stops beside you.
and thatâs when your heart lurches at the sight of him.
the sunset highlights reinerâs profile in gold, a heavenly shine that settles upon his blonde lashes and the flawless slope of his nose. the flecks in his irises sparkle â a beautiful mixture of soft browns and muted greens. the only thing you can do right now is admire the man.Â
his words are what breaks you out of your daydream.
âwork has been crazy lately, huh?â reiner says, focused on the candy-floss clouds and their fluffy shapes.
âwell - yeah, pretty much. i donât want to look at a pen or a piece of paper ever again.â
âthat bad?â
âyou have no idea. i almost regret marley and paradis reconciling.â
reiner chuckles gently at the joke, but itâs strained. his forehead remains creased, and heâs not really smiling. the emotion there is more ⊠doubtful. itâs like heâs having some sort of inner conflict.
hopefully reinerâs not acting cautious because of the other day. you know he doesnât return your feelings, and thatâs totally okay. youâre happy enough being with him like this. âiâm not mad or anything, yâknow.â
reiner stiffens at that. thereâs a white flash of teeth when he chews on his lower lip. âi know.â
âgood,â you hum, breathing out a sigh of relief. your core twists with envy when you force a grin. bite it back. tease him like always. âso about historia ⊠â
reinerâs eyes go wide almost comically, and you hear the breath in his lungs leave his firm chest in one exhale. thereâs a light blush staining his cheeks now. itâs funny; heâs so goddamn big, yet heâs such a teddy bear.
ây-yeah,â reiner mutters. you observe the way his brows pinch together as he awkwardly shifts in place. it takes a while before the man composes himself again, which is strange.
is he scared or something? what the hell?
âpieck,â reiner hesitates for a moment. the golden strands of his hair ruffle in the wind and he appears ... well, lost. âwas she being serious?â
the question is a shocker - jeez, he could have at least let you prepare yourself. a firm ânoâ almost slips out, but youâve never been much of a liar. not to reiner, anyway. crossing your arms against your chest, you inhale sharply and nod. avoid staring at him face-to-face. âyep.â
â ⊠why me?â
reiner says the words with a mixture of spite and anguish, a casual and rumbling voice. you immediately turn your head, frowning. âwhat?â
âiâve done so many horrible things.â reiner exhales heavily and stares down at his hands; perhaps heâs imagining all the blood theyâve been stained with. âi betrayed everyone. i killed innocent people - all because i was selfish.â
itâs no surprise that reiner is broken after everything heâs been through, but it pains you to know that he continues to suffer in silence. whatever war is raging inside his ribcage tears him apart piece by piece, and you wish you could carry the burden.Â
thereâs probably nothing you can say to convince reiner that he was just a kid, a victim of circumstance. thereâs nothing that can persuade him to see himself the way you do.
so you decide to tell reiner why you love him.Â
you explain the amount of admiration you hold for him. tell him that you love the way he just wants to be someone his comrades can lean on, like a big brother. tell him that you think heâs the most gorgeous person youâve ever seen and how you think he deserves the world.
the way you spill your guts out snaps every nerve in your body. you donât say everything you want to â but you tell him enough. a dark flush spreading across your face, you find the courage to look at him.
the world seems to stop on its axis when you find reiner staring right on back. the intensity of his eyes is stunning; theyâre lit up with astonishment and affection.
god, the affection. you see it clear as day. maybe one of the greatest regrets in his life is how he forced himself to see you only as a friend.
thatâs when he reaches out to you.
reiner retracts his hand twice, unsure, before slowly brushing his fingertips against yours. the touch is so feather-light that you almost canât feel it. itâs a test - heâs waiting to see if you pull away. you canât even move if you wanted to, because his fond gaze keeps you rooted to the spot before him.Â
when you donât recoil, reiner finally moves to gently hold your hand; his palm is so much bigger than yours, and your fingers slot together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzleâs final piece.Â
heart thrumming like a hummingbird has been stuffed into your chest, youâre almost at a loss for words and come to a realization.
this utterly amazing man likes you. always has.Â
but reiner shoved away the feelings for one simple reason; you deserved âbetter.â focusing on the old crush he had on historia was a distraction - an attempt to convince himself to stop thinking about you.
because looking at you everyday and not being able to act upon his feelings was too painful.
âis this okay?â reiner asks lowly. thereâs a slight pinkness to his cheeks, the color of a selfless love.
by some miracle, you manage to nod dumbly. âyeah, of course. itâs fine.â itâs amazing is what you actually want to say. Â
reiner squeezes your hand at the reassurance, a sigh escaping from his throat. âi reallyââ
you wait for him to finish, but he doesnât. reiner just searches your profile for signs of discomfort, and then untwines your hands to bravely swipe a thumb along the length of your cheekbone.Â
thereâs no time to speak because heâs already leaning down. Â
the sensation of reinerâs lips pressing against yours lights your skin ablaze; you can feel the curling flames of passion sear your soul, made even more intense by the warmth of the sunlight on your back.
itâs natural, itâs tender, itâs warm.
reinerâs breath rattles into your mouth when you rest both palms against his solid chest and deepen the kiss. the musky smell of his aftershave and cologne envelops you completely, and fuck, itâs so good. your arms wrap around him, fingers passing over the sharp slopes of his shoulder blades.
as much as you wish the kiss could go on endlessly, there are people gathering outside. avoiding any unwanted attention from nosy strangers is very much appreciated.
you pull away to nuzzle your nose into reiner, and he rests his chin on your shoulder, protective arms moving to loop around your waist. itâs such an intimate caress that it sparks your brain into overdrive.
as the rushing sound of the breeze comes back to your ears through the quiet, you tuck the kiss away to be remembered forever. thatâs all there is to it. being close to reiner like this - swaying together like wildflowers in the wind - is more important than anything else.
âi like you,â reiner murmurs.
the suddenness of it makes you laugh, and you can feel the upward quirk of reinerâs lips - a whisper of a peaceful smile and a sweet, sweet promise.
#timeskip reiner still sexy asf#I just wanna hug and kiss him ugh#reiner braun x reader#reiner x reader#aot x reader#attack on titan fanfiction#snk x reader#reiner braun#reiner x you#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin
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«â đ'đ„đ„ đđđŻđđ« đđšđŻđ đđĄđąđŹ đđđČ đđ đđąđ§ â» - PT. TWO
Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?
âž check part one out here!
«ââââ« â
ÊâĄÉâ
» ââââ»
Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)
Genre: 335 cups of fluff and 3 cups of angst
Warnings: a bit suggestive maybe??? cursing, eating, cheesy cringe stuff hehe, ++ unedited so there may be a lot of mistakes !!
Song: Iâll Never Love This Way Again
(YUH OMG FINALLY I FINISHED THIS REQUEST IM SCREAMING OMG??? iâm so sorry that this took so long, i know a lot of people waited for it đđ and for the anon who requested this bc there wasnât a notif- keah accidentally deleted it đđ. ngl i would die for yeonjun in this. ANYWAY, i hope you enjoyyy~~ i rlly liked doing something like this and yes i have to mention the happiness it gave me at 1am when i finally finished it ïżœïżœđ)
«ââââ « â
ÊâĄÉâ
» ââââ»
As easy as it was to say compared to real life, Choi Yeonjun was a wreck. A horrible, horrible and you mustâve forget to say- horrible wreck! That is including the duration of time before and after the second time you left.
How he roused one morning to you no where in sight after a vicious night of going out was something he deeply regretted. He would do anything to go back to that day, of course. He wasnât sure about how you were doing, but jeez did he want to see those bright glints in your eyes whenever you saw him again. To see you smiling like nothing was wrong or giggling when he finally made ticklish contact on those sensitive places or even how youâd frown before him due to his carelessness. His mind drew him back to the ungodly hour of 4am when you scolded him for the scar on his arm he didnât seem to realize until later and the way you made sure nothing else on his body was hurt. Yeah anyone could tell that didnât go very well considering he was a boy and you were a girl, but that wasnât the point!
In simple terms, he missed you more than anyone heâs ever laid eyes upon and the plain truth was that. You werenât easy to be shaken off his mind after that ordeal of getting you to himself for one, final night. It hurt him most to see the disgusted expression on your face as if you were staring straight at a pile of elephant poop on the ground, not wanting to do anything with it because it was useless and foul. He couldnât possibly make it your fault too, which meant he shouldnât have been surprised. Breaking your poor heart by insulting you and taking you for granted, everything was wrong with him for thinking this way!
Whether he liked it or not, his heart said differently about this matter.
Perhaps it was the way you looked that night- he could say- however, it was more than that. With your adoring, sparkling eyes that werenât easy to miss and your stunning, contagious smile that caused ripples of happiness to fly across the room, he couldnât blame anyone for falling in love with you. After all, he was a victim of it himself so there was no way he couldâve not in the end. All of those things were true especially, but taking in everything to account as well hanging out with you, your unique individual beauty meant nothing.
He just loved you for you. Loved? No, not loved. Loves. He still loves you for you, and he was a fool to realize it this late. He just lost the best thing in his life due to his stupidity; he knew fully well that you couldnât ever bring yourself to talk to him face-to-face again if the two of you met again. Would you two even come to meet in the first place? That was the true question here. He and you both knew that due to your resistance and remorse for what happened last weekend that you would never permit yourself to see him. Like he said, he couldnât blame you for that either.
And yet, why is he trying to convince himself that heâs the only one for you? Your every smile was originally because of him, but now... but now, youâd never let him hear that for one, last time. He couldnât redo his mistakes of the past of hurting you even if he promised never to do that again. And judging this situation, destiny wouldnât allow that to happen anyway. With all of your encounters, it seemed as if they all turned out the same way. Everything was ripped into shreds.
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âWait, so you sLEPT WITH HIM?!â Soobinâs voice reached to a dangerous while the two of you paced around the hallways together, trying to quietly talk about last weekend until he so rudely screamed about your untrue administrations. You clasped your hand over his mouth in instinct, punching his shoulder as a warning to keep quiet or else. His body heaved with hearty chuckles while you screamed, telling him to keep his voice down so that you could truly tell him the whole story.
âSoobin! Thatâs not true; I wouldnât do anything like that, ever!â
âWell, heâs your ex- and heâs hot, so why wouldnât you sleep with him?!â
Now some of the students subtly shuffled around to eavesdrop on your conversation, and you groaned at the newfound attention. Just what were you thinking about telling him when sometimes he could contradict himself to be this loud?! It was steaming tea, yes, but no one else had to hear about it! You shouldâve told him this stuff at lunch when the two of you were alone.
Swiftly pulling Soobin to the vacant hallway where thankfully no one else was walking, you made sure to keep your voice to a faint hush. You werenât sure if he could hear you, but you couldnât risk involving anyone else in this personal matter. Students passed by all around you in the other hallway, holding conversations and walking in groups which was a good sign you could actually speak normally since no one was paying attention anymore.
âSo did you or did you not?â He mused, ruffling the top of your head. You pushed his hand away, rolling your eyes at his playfulness when the gravity of the situation needed to be comprehended instead.
âSoobin, I told you we never slept together in that sense last weekend. We were both drunk and shared the same bed! It doesnât mean anything and we arenât going to get back together,â you held your breath through those words as you watched the amused smile on his face turn into a pitiful, pouting lip. His adorable puppy dog eyes that were begging you not to get mad at him didnât seem to work now, and you found yourself telling him off even if you didnât mean to in the first place.
âYouâre so stupid for thinking that, you know?! Yeonjunâs a jerk, I have no clue why I ever got with that bastard in the first place! God, if you never let us meet together then you know I wouldâve been happy now. Just why did everything have to turn out this way?!â
The walls of your heart you tried so hard to buttress through your words and actions crumbled with every second you spoke, disintegrating into pure dust the moment your voice leveled to reach your anger. Your chest was trembling as you choked out the last few words, unable to say anything anymore as a lump appeared in your throat. You hated being weak in front of him the most because heâs seen you so many times like this before and heâd very clearly think of you as a crybaby.
He seemed to understand this, shooting you a gently smile as some small encouragement. It was that smile that urged you to snap out of your evil trance immediately. For saying all those rude things to him, it was contradictory since at that very moment you wanted to take everything back. The guilt ate you up in an instant once you took in his dumbfound yet soft expression, causing you to envelope him in a warm embrace as contrition. He never deserved this treatment when it wasnât even his fault anyway.
âI... Iâm sorry, Soobin. I shouldnât have taken it out on you. Itâs just so hard on me now since I know I shouldnât have done that with him last weekend. We didnât do a lot, and yet I still want to say that I love him...? Even now I wonât allow myself to cry and be weak but,â your voice faltered as your body slightly shivered, âI canât do it. I just canât be strong anymore. Itâs so hard.â
Soobin sighed, generously allowing you to lean on him like last time. You were so strong- you had always been so strong in front of him, and it hurt him to see that you were slowly breaking no matter how much you tried to stop it. He could see right through the so called smile you shot him this morning as soon as you saw him. He knew right then and there that something happened to you during the weekend and when he heard it was all about Yeonjun... he had to contain himself not to beat up his best friend or else the friendship he treasured dearly would crash, fall, and wouldnât withstand.
However, the truth remained. Little by little, you were shattering due to Yeonjunâs actions and he could only watch helplessly as you flew freely to the ground. It was an understatement to say that he was starting to hate his best friend for doing this to you, but in the end he believed you. If you did it before, then you could do it again right? And you knew that Soobin was always right there for you no matter what.
Last month you gave it your all in order to move on. He truly admired that you kept running and running towards the future even if you felt that there was no end, a quality he secretly cherished of you. As a person, you were strong in your own way and Soobin was proud of you. He just didnât know how to say it now without making the bright atmosphere droop. It was always like this whenever a problem with your relationship arose. He brought you closer to his arms.
âYouâre not weak at all for crying, Y/N. I think youâve been holding it for too long now. Youâre always welcome to come to me, alright? Iâll save you from that stupid Yeonjun and make you happier than he ever has! You deserve someone much better. You and I both know this.â
He wiped your every tear which streamed against your cheek with his thumb gently, and somehow you finally smiled. Ardent, genuine, and sincere, your smile was enough to cause another one of his own towards you, a great deal of blinding happiness all around you. You were sure Soobin was waiting for this after a while, although it came out at a surprising time. You didnât expect it either.
This was another feeling you couldnât ever get enough of, for it reminded you of the time when Yeonjun asked you to be his... but comparing it to this wasnât right at all.
No words were spoken between the two of you, but it really did mean a great deal of comfort to you. How could he offer up this ample amount of support towards you? You made a promise to yourself to make it up to him one day.
A few minutes later, you reluctantly pulled away from his sweet hug to check the time on your phone. You werenât sure how long youâd been holding each other like this (and you really did enjoy it), but if you kept dawdling then you would miss every single afternoon class. Your eyes scanned through the upper numbers.
Crap. You already missed the first few minutes!
You scrambled to get yourself off him, pulling your bag over your shoulder in a haste. âWait, Iâll tell you the details later!â You waved your hand for a flimsy goodbye, rushing to get every paper in your bags in check. It was a pathetic bye, that was for sure. You rushed out before Soobin could even mutter a bye, hoping to get there in good time so that you wouldnât embarrass yourself in front of everyone. Oh, well. Youâll see him later.
Your footsteps faded away little by little and yet another set rippled through his ears through little clacks on the spotless floor. He wondered if you were coming back to ask him something but before he could turn around, sweet words that were due to a familiar tone made his heart stop in place.
âPlease, take care of her for me.â
...
Upon hearing that voice Soobin halted in his tracks, looking back at a pair of warm, brown eyes that met his own. By the looks of it, he heard everything you said. Not to mention that it was the second time the boy eavesdropped at that.
âSoobin, please? You can date her even if it hurts but just please... if I canât look after her, then who elseâll take her to her favorite restaurant?â
The pleas did not matter to him all the more, if he was being honest. This game was something he didnât want to be involved in but looks like fate had its plans. It was obvious now. He hated this and although he said you deserved better, it was clear that the two of you were destined to be together.
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The door clamorously creaked as soon as you entered, making you cringe at the sudden but minimal heads that turned towards you. You shyly offered up a smile, reorganizing the books in your hands to pass off some of the attention somewhere else. Some of the people there were doing their own things and focused on talking to each other to an extent. You sighed gratefully. Thankfully you could sit alone at a spot where no one would notice you at the top of the row.
After you wondered where the rest of the students were and the professor whom you searched for in every direction, you gave up with a relieving drop of your shoulders and decided to sit down. Glancing at the time, you muttered how stupid you were under your breath for reading the clock wrong. You were fortunately five minutes earlier, but looks like you have to wait now until the lesson starts.
Getting situated in your spot was an easy thing and you toyed with your phone when you heard a shuffling of clothes sitting next to you on the right. It wasnât such a good time to be socializing right now since you felt like crap but if you were going to make new friends, you might as well do so now. After all, college was supposed to be a good experience minus all the endless assignments and projects to prepare for your future.
You managed to steal a look at the person who sat right next to you but became paralyzed in your spot when you realized who it was, whipping your head where you wouldnât be able to get distracted by him. That dazzling, blue hair was unmistakable. And the perfect, rosy lips were too! How could you not be tainted when he chose to sit next to you?! Seeing as the latter was impossible when you heard his deep voice murmur the words âgood morning,â a bead of sweat collected at your forehead. He was never this bold before after you broke up, and you pondered if he wanted to be good friends again after what happened. The audacity was unbelievable.
You couldnât understand why heâd choose to be beside you when there were many more other open spots in the room. He mustâve been mocking you, making fun of you after how weak you looked a few days before.
The question was though, why the hell was he sitting right there?! Right next to you?! You could feel the words becoming stuck in your throat as you choked out a good morning back, too anxious to say anything or else itâd initiate a conversation between the two of you. That was the least thing you wanted to do as of now, wasting all your energy on the time spent convincing yourself heâd make up some small talk. That time however never came, and you were left politely smiling at the one and only Choi Yeonjun when you randomly found him staring at you.
The professor finally arrived, lifting off a heavy burden on your chest when you couldâve been dreading the lesson instead. You shouldâve left before as to not create any conflict, but anymore absences and your future wouldâve been as good as dead. Although you could look at the bright side now! Yeonjun wouldnât be able to talk to you or else heâd miss some important things which would in turn affect his grades. You threw a grateful smile towards the center of the cavernous room, becoming a little bit relaxed even if some part of you was still freaking out he was that close to you.
The class was a blur, pointless information echoing throughout the room you didnât care to learn since you were dozing off. Your mind was too busy looking back at the events that went down last weekend, becoming more tired with every second that passed. It was hard to get your brain off that addicting stuff called overthinking every single time you caught Yeonjun staring at you with tender, soft eyes. Simultaneously, you were hoping no one would call you out for daydreaming of what couldâve been, so you hid behind a tall personâs blonde head, hoping not to be caught.
Sadly, you were brought back to the room when a chorus of sighs collected together to make a violin whimper of disappointment.
âYou will be working with the person beside you on the right,â the professor declared, clearing their throat while most of the class groaned altogether. Wait so that means...
In an instant, everything seemed way too overheated in the room now. Were you the only one feeling hot or what?! You knew fully what was supposed to come next since you were the only two sitting on the top, the rest of the bottom being filled out by tons of people who were tuning in to the lesson.
Sometimes life doesnât work the way we want it to. That itself was obvious. Otherwise youâd be somewhere else being happy instead of working with this jerk!
You couldnât help the frustration of curses you thought in your head, glaring at the boy who was giggling cutely to himself.
âOh, looks like youâre paired up with me! I canât wait to work with you, Y/N~â The tone of his voice made your heart skip a beat, the all too familiar teasing getting to your head. As you expected, whatever he said would have an effect on you, instantly making you heat up at how true that statement was.
Smiling, you gulped, feeling too parched all of a sudden. God only knows how much you wanted to get out of there right away. You were dying not to embarrass yourself, collecting your books together as you slathered a polite tone to your voice. Somehow you got the words out despite making clear eye contact with him way too long for your own good. It felt so wrong to say he was a masterpiece but it felt so right to keep looking at him like this.
âWhere should we work?â Yeonjun asked once more.
He leaned closer to you, leaning on his hand as he maintained an direct, intent gaze. Your lips formed into a straight line, hopelessly wishing he wouldnât see how much of a mess you were in front of him. Then he licked his lips. That was the end of you! He and you both knew that it was meant to be flirtatious. Your ears burned at the sight. Well that was enough to be looking at his eyes now! You foolishly turned away.
âHmm, how about we meet at the bakery everyday at five? Are you okay with that?â Yeonjun suggested, raising an eyebrow to comprehend your unsure expression. You nodded your head acceptingly, albeit a bit defeated. He shouldnât have been expecting anything. You were fine with whatever place you could meet up by, but didnât he know that you werenât fine working with him?!
After the quiet and easily awkward atmosphere, you turned on your heel getting up from the exhausting spot. It was much too uncomfortable for you to plan out a schedule with him, and second you werenât able to catch the directions with him chatting it up a bunch.
Of course you wanted to be mature about the situation, but it was impossible for you. If it was another person, then you wouldâve been fine. You could ask around but that itself was scary too. Your heart was in a tugging predicament with you in between, and you werenât sure what to choose. Seems like Yeonjun was your only choice now. It wouldâve helped you move on but with him right there, it would be harder to really think about yourself for once. You shot him one more look, hoping it would be the last.
âYeonjun, donât think youâre fooling me with this flirting. You know I canât work with you after what you said. Iâm sorry, but find someone else whoâll be open to being your partner.â You opted to get up from your seat, trying to dash away as quickly and quietly as possible until he said something that made you paralyzed as you got up.
âY/N, please wait!â
Suddenly the world stopped and in it, you could only see the two of you with Yeonjun clinging gently to you.
He grabbed your arm before you could move to another seat, holding on tightly just to make you stay. You winced at how warm it was compared to your shaking arm, avoiding his vulnerable eyes due to embarrassment. You didnât know how you were supposed to do this project anyway when you couldnât even look at him in the first place.
âI know, and Iâm really sorry. I shouldnât have done whatever we did while we were drunk and bothered you like that. Just... can you work with me this once? I want you to get a good grade with me.â
Gradually, his words became inaudible at the end, as if too ashamed to say it out loud. It was an understatement to say what he said was surprising. Therefore you couldnât help but gasp at how vulnerable he got when you tried to move away from him when you thought he wouldâve let you go after what happened. It was clearly too much for you to see his adorable puppy dog eyes, glistening and sparkling with sincerity when you safely decided to look back at him, feeling weak in the knees with uncertainty of what to say.
And although you wanted to say no so badly, you spoke without thinking and murmured something only he could hear.
âOkay then... Letâs do well.â
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Before you knew it, five pm rolled by and you were face-to-face at the bakery where Yeonjun was waiting for you. At this point, you were reluctant to go through with this since you could easily say you hadnât found anyone to do the project with. But knowing that the teacher was stubborn and hardheaded when they made plans like these, it would be impossible to convince him to let you work alone. Plus, you actually got ready instead of throwing your favorite hoodie this time! You couldnât let all your extra effort and special preparing to go to waste just because it was Yeonjun.
And gosh, you just had to remind yourself it was Yeonjun again.
The advances were simple. You had brought all your heavy books relating to the subject, hoping theyâd be able to help but now all they seemed to do was weigh you down from getting the door. The wind was heartless, sending icy gusts through your clothes as you heaved out a sigh. It wouldâve been good if you just left now instead. But this would only make matters worse. You swiped your phone again, purposely ignoring the contact name of âStupid Mean Jerk Jjuniebug.â He hadnât texted you yet saying he was there so you hesitated a tiny bit before reaching for the golden door handle and eventually going inside.
The warm smell of cookies, cakes, and a variety of baked breads welcomed your nose, making the corners of your lips turn up with satisfaction. Out of all the distractions in the world, the Boulangerie was such a perfect place to go to do anything, really. If it wasnât for your stupid project, youâd probably relax and enjoy a cup of your favorite drink paired with one of the delights they had here! It sounded like flawless idea. Happily, you made a mental memorandum in your head to plan out a day with Soobin where the two of you could hang out and tell stories to each other. He would definitely enjoy this place because of all of the bread you could order.
Surprisingly, Yeonjun was there already and you assumed he was writing something important down due to the determined expression on his face. He furrowed an eyebrow, slightly biting is lip while you inched towards him. You couldnât help the smile that arose on your cheeks because of how endearing he looked as he worked hard, holding tightly to the books in your arms when you finally came close to him.
He looked up from his little notes of hearts and bunnies he was doodling as soon as a pair of shoes made unpretentious clitter-clacks, eyes lighting up with admiration when he realized that it was you standing there.
âI ordered your favorite dessert while waiting for you. Do you still like it?â
The words got stuck in your throat. He got you something? He mustâve been thinking of your arrival too attentively otherwise thereâs no way that was true, but gosh did Yeonjun prove you wrong in a second.
Glancing at the sweets before you paired with a dainty teacup of your favorite drink, a gasp left your lips that embodied awe since he still remembered what you liked to order whenever you came to the Boulangerie with him. The snow white lace of the table fabric created flashbacks in your mind and you tensed up in realization. You hadnât come here in two months- the last time you were able to picture your last date with him. Although, that wasnât the point at all.
You were not to be expecting anything after the two of you separated even if the two of you were exes. It was just in Yeonjunâs moral codes in life to be kind to anybody and especially you whenever he please just because it was normal to him. You adored how pure he was, but at the same time you couldnât shake how he acted towards you almost two months ago. That hostile expression on his face- one youâd never seen before- couldnât ever be erased from your memory no matter how much effort you put in it.
But the past was the past. No bad things could happen like that now, could it? It was all because the two of you broke up. You were exes.
And yet, you could smile freely like nothing of the sort happened towards the two of you. After all, it was the right thing to do wasnât it? Yeonjun wouldâve wanted you to do that too, you knew it deep inside despite desiring to deny it. To move on and not have any feelings of pent up frustration and anger towards each other. Joy swelled in your heart at how much maturity you were gaining because of heartbreak. Maybe the two of you could be friends. Maybe.
âThank you so much for doing this even if you didnât have to, Yeonjun. Iâm surprised you even came since your friends are much more interesting than me. Iâm glad that you did though.â
You decided to take a bite in the delicacy, immediately not regretting the dulcet decision as you relished in the simple sweetness that came with it. Honestly, you missed this wonderful, mouth watering taste so much! Just like what you remembered, you shut your eyes in pure content, not being able to take in the sight of the boy in front of you who chuckled to himself.
Yeonjun heaved a breath of amusement from his chest, cheek laying down on his hand again as his eyes showed nothing but the sincere feeling of endearment towards you. He shifted comfortably on his side, grabbing one of the crimson, bright strawberries from his plate as he bit onto the juicy tip of it.
âYou know, youâre always cute when you smile like that,â he whispered, not caring whether or not you heard it- which you obviously did.
You puffed your cheeks out at this.
âShut up...! Weâre here for a project, remember? Not to... flirt, silly.â
The mischievous yet saccharine grin on his face made you flustered and you glanced away from him, pretending to look at the tray of enclosed desserts that you saw when you first entered the bakery. You couldnât allow yourself to become distracted like this! Not to mention that looking at him straight through doesnât seem to help either!
âOh, but when I look at you I canât seem to focus on anything else. Iâm being serious here; I just really canât seem to take my eyes off you.â
The slamming yet gentle sound of you slamming the spoon you were holding on the table gave everything away and his eyes turned into euphoric crescents that only signaled delight.
âYeonjun, I said shut your trap. All these cheesy compliments and Iâll... we have to do our project, so please cooperate and letâs put our work together to actually do something good.â You pulled your books together in a pile, acting as if you were really doing something in order to distract him from teasing you. The raging beat of your heart begged to differ, so you hoped he wouldnât hear it or else that would give him another reason to make you flustered. Â
âAs you wish, princess. Weâll work so well together that youâll miss me once I drop you home!â
Princess...?
Heâll drop you home...?
You groaned in annoyance at the nickname and offer although you kind of enjoyed it, wanting to smack Yeonjun in the mouth for not listening to your request. He mustâve been deaf or something because the whole time he kept throwing coy phrases youâd never heard before or trying to whine about how much work it all was for the two of you.
You were only starting to understand how annoying he was whenever he got cranky and dozed off for thirty minutes, leaving you to search through all those books and gather information yourself which was luckily a lot of help. It was a nice silence for a while but once he got back to annoying you endlessly, you swore you could rip all your hair off from the frustration building up from inside of you.
How were you going to do a week of working with him when you couldnât even look at him in the eye every time he made pouty, kissing lips? Or take him seriously whenever he called you a pet name for that matter? You wished future you the best luck, unfortunately not knowing what would arrive in the times to come.
...
âHey, could you look at this for a second? Iâm having trouble if I should or more exactly- how I should put this down when it makes no sense.â
You laughed at how clueless he was when it came to his favorite subject, shuffling right beside him to see what he was struggling with. It was too natural, too suspicious for the both of you not to know this. You contained the snickers of mock once you put it all together, silently calling him stupid in your head for not being able to jot down this simple effortless thing. You twisted your body towards the notes, enough for your shoulders to meet together.
Little did you know that Yeonjun only wanted you to come close to him, and it was more than suffice to say it worked out in his favor.
You were explaining everything to him but the only thing he could focus on was the little things about you. The bitty, endearing gestures of your hands while you connected two of the subjects, the way your chest heaved up and down when you took a tiny breath of air, and even how your lips opened and closed was enough for Yeonjunâs fluffy cheeks to heat up and bloom into a rosy red. The words droned off as it echoed between the two of you, easily becoming pointless since he wasnât paying attention anyway.
A couple of seconds passed between the two of you when the bakery suddenly became silent, and he gripped the pencil he dropped earlier on the table as you shot him a shy smile. Yeonjunâs knuckles became white with every second his stare lingered on you. You were way too cute for your own good, and you didnât even know it- so why was he surprised? He, too, was hoping you wouldnât be able to notice the aggressive thumping in his chest.
âYeonjun? You got all of that, right?â Your symphony-like voice snapped him from out of his trance.
âOkay, then Iâll put that down,â he breathed tiredly.â It looks like he was getting exhausted too, huh? You were about to say a few words of encouragement until he cut you off with his own.
âWeâre almost done researching; just hang in there, alright? Youâve been doing so well, Y/N.â
The gentle, supporting words was enough to send ripples through your heart and you nodded your head, all the while checking through what you noted and what you forgot. You wanted to keep thinking about what he said and how it motivated you to keep going. You didnât want to upset you and most definitely not him. However, the fatigue coating your eyes was too much and you slowly closed the heavy lids, head slowly turning to the side before you fell on something all too familiar.
A sudden yet light weight on his shoulder made him look up from what he was writing down, stunning him in his spot when he saw you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He mustâve known that this much thinking wore you out after such a long while. A tender smile decorated his lips and he took in your every feature, hoping to draw out the face that made him feel alive.
âSheâs so cute...â He grabbed his jacket from the side heâd taken off earlier, laying it gently upon you with his other hand as if it was something heâd done since the beginning of time. You nuzzled your cheek against his way too comfortable shoulder, becoming more snug with each minute that passed by. He couldnât help the skip in his heartbeat when you muttered his favorite nickname in your sleep, this âJjuniebugâ being much more different compared to the past because he knew you were dreaming of him.
When such a sight like this was to be treasured by anyone, he decided he didnât want to work anymore. Like the gentleman he was, he gathered your books together, pushing your plate to the side before laying his head against yours. He intertwined your hands with his, grinning gently from ear to ear at the warmness he felt from inside.
He stole one more glance at you, fingers delicately dancing from your cheekbone all the way to your chin, tracing your jaw as gingerly as he could. This was what he was hoping for after such a long time of not receiving it. That itself was rightfully so, yet having you near meant the world and so much more to him.
Then he glanced out the window where rain was drizzling, creating a dreading gray atmosphere which was nothing but chaos. It couldâve been something that alerted him on such a dreary day, making him anxious at how he was going to get home in a mess. But to him, he wouldnât trade this peaceful present. Always, he wanted to be close to you like this. It couldnât have been too much to ask, honestly.
âTell me,â he said to no one in particular, âhow can you make a moment last forever?â
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Tuesday passed as quickly as Monday did and you swiftly got prepared for five pm later. You were bouncing with excitement, ready to see the boy whoâd been waiting for you over at the library, a place you decided together when he texted you during lunch break. To be true to yourself, you couldnât wait to work with him. All day you were waiting for the horrid, slow hours to pass of lectures and countless assignments online, lingering silently through the minutes that seemed to go by forever in hopes that everything would go faster. The relief you felt when you were dismissed for the day and the joy that swelled in your heart when you went home, preparing yourself as best you could.
You didnât understand why you were buzzing with energy over meeting someone like this, for wasnât it true the two of you were exes? Two months ago you broke up; that was quite obvious. It didnât help that and that number one: he was a jerk after a while of dating you, and number two: he was probably playing with your heart if you decided to be smart. But then again you always rewarded that guilty pleasure by saying the past was the past and he bought you your favorite delicacy. He may have hurt you before and because of that, you promised yourself you wouldnât ever date him ever again.
With that thought in mind you threw your favorite outfit on that you planned just the night before, looking in the mirror twice just to make sure you looked okay. Deep down you knew it was a lie to say you werenât doing these special things for him, trying to convince yourself that in doing so- this dressing up would do your ego a favor. Yeonjun didnât have to see this, not at all! It was all because you wanted to look decent. Just that.
So sneakily, you crept out of the house while slipping your shoes on since nobody would notice you were gone. You checked your phone at least twice before opening the door, clearly not ready for the surprising sight your eyes landed upon as soon as you left home.
In front of you was the boy who had taken your mind captive all day, smiling from ear to ear as his fingers combed gently through his blue hair.
You gasped at how he actually came to your house after teasing yesterday that he would, but you never knew heâd carry out his plan. He would keep poking your cheek while saying something under his breath like how heâd visit you one day to pick you up. He would never do that, right? Well no, you were extremely wrong and just a day after your project date went well.
Nonetheless, you couldnât stop the touched grin on your face to know he was waiting for you.
âHey, Y/N,â he shyly giggled and that itself made your heart skip a beat, âletâs walk to the library together today, alright? Wait, let me take your books, please!â
Even with your protests and several noâs, he still took your books and placed it snugly against his left arm, teasing about how light they were together. You glared at him for a second before taking a few steps when he suddenly grabbed your hand.
You turned around, eyes wide in a daze.
âWhat is it?â
An overwhelming heat rose up to your cheeks and ears, making you feel hot in the face as you realized he was still holding on.
âIf it isnât too much to ask, can I hold your hand today? I really miss the warm feeling you gave me last summer.â
He held his hand out expectantly, waiting for you to take it on your own accord. You easily obliged- albeit a bit hesitantly- putting your hand against his and allowing him to guide you to wherever- whenever he wanted. The way his eyes lit up as he lead you to the place was precious, making you feel soft with endearment at how gentle he treated you.
Now this? This was bad. So, so bad.
On the day you left Yeonjunâs house in tears, you werenât expecting any of this to happen. You werenât sure how you could trust him so easily after everything heâs done- maybe it was the way you felt his sincerity in every smile he sent you or how tenderly he had grabbed your hand just now, but the happiness bottling up inside you did not lie. You felt pure jubilation whenever you saw him.
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It was Wednesday.
Wednesday, the middle of the school days where you desperately wanted to claw your eyes out from how tedious everything was. Wednesday, a day where nothing significant happened but nothing too horrible happened either. Wednesday, a reminder that you only had two days left- counting today and Thursday- to work with Yeonjun. You hated the bitter taste of having to really say goodbye, but the future had to be on the brighter side then. After this, you swore you wouldnât ever see him and his damn handsome face for another accidental time.
Just about reaching four in the afternoon, you decided to go with Soobin over to the Boulangerie where youâd been promising yourself to take him since Monday. It was luck on your side today that you actually went out for some fresh air, carrying out some of the awaiting plans you had on your checklist. Sometimes it was nice to have a breather in the middle of the week when everything else was distracting.
It started off as usual, and you realized you hadnât seen him since that very day of hearing Yeonjunâs offer to be your partner. To be quite honest, you didnât really think about telling him since it shouldnât be that important, but the boy knew it was important just by from the hesitance in your expressions. His fingers placed the glass filled with chocolate milk on the table gently and curiously prodded.
âY/N? Youâve been acting strange lately; is everything okay?â
You glanced up from the china plate, eyes widening with surprise. You werenât sure what he was talking about. It couldnât have been anything important, could it? Or were you being so obvious about your giant, giant problem?
âYeah, everything is fine, Bin! Trust me, there isnât anything going wrong but I guess you could say that... from your perspective.â
You made sure to look at the way he reacted and seeing how his head titled with wonder, you chose to give it a try.
âWell... I shouldâve called you about this but Iâm working with Yeonjun for a project. We have to turn it in by Friday, but weâve been doing stuff on it since Monday. It doesnât mean anything though, and weâre supposed to meet up at the park (Moonlight) today.â You intentionally left out the fact he asked you and those sweet moments since you were afraid of his reaction.
You knew he was one to be respectful and kind no matter the person, although because of all this tugging back and forth between his best friends- you couldnât blame him for wanting to sock either one of you for being so stupid. And stupid were you and Yeonjun for not being able to get enough of each other, at least thatâs how you viewed it. Soobin wouldnât dare to hurt either one of you since the two of you were best friends; physically wouldnât cut it. You hoped he would just remain patient like heâd always have- one thing you were grateful for, obviously, instead of freaking out at the recent moments youâve experienced.
That being said, the look on Soobinâs face was absolutely priceless once you told him about your predicament.
âYou two? On a project? TOGETHER?!â
Glumly you nodded your head, expecting him to say something but his mouth was filled with shock to the brim that he couldnât even bring himself to say anything.
âYup, thatâs true. You didnât know about it?â To say the least, you were surprised he didnât know about it since Yeonjun was one to trust him about everything. Little things like this would count, yes, and you could very vividly remember how he blabbed to Soobin when you first started dating about how to keep a girl on her period happy.
In response, he shook his head, hand still glued covering his mouth. Your lips slightly turned upwards at his melodramatic feedback.
âNo, he didnât tell me anything at all about it! Why are you guys keeping secrets from me?â
Ouch, that stung. But at the same time, what were you expecting?
âThatâs a surprise. I thought he couldnât keep his mouth--â
The deafening, shuffling sound of the store bell rang throughout your ears, causing you to shudder at the intermittent sound. This was a popular Boulangerie so you didnât need to be surprised whenever a new customer came in, but it stunned you at the worst times. You shrugged at Soobinâs suddenly ghost white reaction, thinking he was just kidding with you again and went back to the cup of a refreshing drink. Honestly, you couldnât care less about it unless it was someone you knew.
You lifted the cup to pass through your lips until the familiar sight of messy radiant, blue hair caught the peripheral vision of your eye.
It had to be him. It couldnât be anyone else.
âY-Yeonjun...?â
As your heart dropped to your stomach, your voice broke out gently, making you the only person to hear it muffled with both distress and disbelief. There was no possible way you were witnessing what was happening in front of you. You didnât want to believe it, squinting your eyes over and over again just to get a good look. It was still him no matter what you did, no matter what you changed.
Somehow, he didnât notice you.
He sat down at a table, sending a sugary smile towards an alluring girl who sent him the same one back. Your back became rigid at the too close proximity of their faces. They chatted for a little bit about anything that could cross their minds, obviously flirting with the stares sent back and forth and back again until it turned into a full discussion- both of them laughing their hearts out. Happiness from the ideal âcoupleâ (as anyone couldâve mistaken them) spread around the Boulangerie contagiously, making everyone awe at the sight of them fully enjoying themselves. But you? You? Your heart shattered piece by piece while watching this play out.
Too many questions flooded in your mind at once as well as too many insecurities, paralyzing you in your spot as you couldnât find the correct way to breathe again. It was getting too hard to find the air in, you realized. Soobin called your name out many times- to get you to listen, to get you out of your stupid trance, to get you to do anything else in the world but look because itâd hurt you just as much as it did for him!
To this, you were only sitting still, staring and staring like a dormant painting hanging in a museum just to find out that you wouldnât ever be able to change anything, but only see the people in front of you. You didnât want to look at the face of pain in front of you but... if you looked away then something else might happen.
You cradled yourself in your arms, trying to stop the icy cold breeze that whirled pass your rips and over to the tips of your toes. It didnât make sense to you. Why even bother putting effort into winning him back? You wouldnât be able to be as good enough. You shouldnât have even tried in the first place.
You gulped down those insecurities again, trying to calm your shaking hands.
It wasnât possible to be that perfect... not at all. She was such a stunning girl, the epitome of everything you werenât and what you didnât have. She had such sparkling eyes, such a gorgeous smile, and not to mention an impeccable complexion that had every single girl in the world jealous. Everything about her was simply perfect and that drowned your own specialties into the deepest ocean called hatred.
Once again you glanced at Yeonjun who seemed to be having fun with the deep chuckles and smiles he was freely giving up. Oh, how bad you wanted it to be you but this reminder was one that gave you a wake up call. You never really had a chance in the first place.
He then turned his head a little to the side, ultimately being able to see you sitting next to Soobin just like you had planned. His honeyed brown eyes changed from smug into something unreadable you couldnât put your finger on before changing in a split second to look back at the girl.
The decision dawned on you, and you clenched your fists until you felt flashing, white pain run through your fingers.
He didnât even care.
You were stupid enough to believe he actually liked you back again. You were stupid enough to think that with all these sweet interactions and words, he was warming up to you for another countless time. You were stupid to think he was being truthful that drunken night, saying he needed you clearly as much as you needed him. Finally, you were stupid enough to think he loved you. Now the proof was smack dab in your face, blinding you from your goal of hating him, and you were such a fool to be thinking he would really be yours after such a long while.
The glossy tears gathered in your eyes, angry, frustrated but pointless words with no explanation becoming more stuck in your throat when you glanced once more at the sight across from you. Time passed by through the regal clock, ringing in an ear and out the other. One way or another, you needed to get out of there and you needed it to be now.
You hastily slung your bag filled with papers over your shoulders, making sure you hid the flowing tears from everyoneâs sight. Just one turn and heâd probably see you so pitiful at the wrong time. You certainly didnât want to look pathetic, especially not in front of Yeonjun, whom you still loved with all your heart.
In a dash, you aggressively swiped the entrance of the door handle and into the day where you just wanted to disappear. Bell ringing haphazardly behind you, you werenât able to perceive you were out of the bakery until another customer ignored your everblooming sadness, struggling behind you to get the door. Tears soon fell on the ground after holding them in for too long, signaling your vulnerability as you crouched down behind the bakery to let everything keeping your heart captive out. This time, for real, you really werenât going to see him again even if it meant your grades being obliterated.
You hated him. You hated him so much for what he did back there.
And yet here you were, running away from your problems again.
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âY/N?â
It was a mistake. It was all a mistake. You shouldnât have pressed accept without looking at the contact name. You were just so stupid that it was funny. Just another one of the reasons why he wouldnât ever want to date you again. How could you blame him for breaking up with you?
âY/N, you there?â
He was seeing another girl, you shouldâve known. Why didnât you know? Why did you have to be such a fool to be used in the first place? And why the hell were you sad about it when you could be using this opportunity to be getting over him?!
âY/N, youâre not responding and Iâm getting worried. Is there something I can do? Please...?â
You were just exes. Exes, for crying out loud! Exes. Thatâs all.
âY/N, if youâre there just-â
âyeah, Iâm right here,â you murmured quietly, caring any less that he might have not heard you in the end. If he was able to really see how you accidentally looked at him earlier, then surely he wouldâve known how the world crashed on your shoulders just by looking at you. Oh, but it was funny wasnât it? It didnât matter anyway. After all, he wouldnât give a damn right? Not what he did back there he wouldnât.
Because of that, you realized that this conversation with him was not needed. Whether it was because of the project or if it was for a favor, you wouldnât be able to do it without looking weak in his eyes. Your finger hovered over the red button, tempted to press hang up until again, his act of using a concerned voice tugged painfully on your heart strings.
âWait, are you okay? Do you need me to be there? Somethingâs wrong, I know youâre not okay,â he tried for another time, breathing through the call tiredly as if he was oblivious to what went on earlier. The hate for him smoldered in your chest, and your fingers tightened around the phone so arduously that they turned white, shaking hysterically.
âNo, I...â you felt your voice break, and you covered the change in pitch by clearing your throat. With the lump so gigantic that you couldnât even breathe, it hurt to tell him a lie, much less speak at that moment. You put on a tone to make it more believable. âEverythingâs fine. Just busy right now.â
âYouâre lying,â he whispered so softly into the receiver you were wondering yourself if you had heard him in the first place. You forced yourself to laugh at his statement, but it came naturally, knowing it was all too true.
âIâm not lying, I promise! I just took a nap, thatâs all. No need to be so worked up over me.â You figured that teasing him would be the best way to cover up your sorrow, giggling alongside him because you were so bad at lying. Nonetheless, you hoped he would take this approach, waiting silently on the floor for his best answer.
On the other side he hummed hesitantly, mumbling a few words that you couldnât quite comprehend because you knew he didnât want to hear them. You barely noticed you were in the corner holding yourself, rocking back and forth as the anticipation of just hanging up crept up on you.
Before you could start, Yeonjun grumbled in concern.
âWell... okay then. But if you really want to convince me youâre fine then youâll keep your promise and meet at Moonlight today. We still have a lot to do, so letâs meet up at the usual time. Youâll be there, right?â
âUm... I...â
What else could you say? It would be rude to decline and you werenât in the mood to lie after all that. Well, he didnât buy it all but at least he got off the topic. You were thankful to him for not budging, although this had to be one of the worst things he could ever suggest. Not only about how you feel in the end but about the project too. As far as you were concerned, you only a little left so you were able to work separately anyway. He didnât have to go so far to do things his way, but this would show you he didnât need you at all.
You spoke on impulse hastily after the long, deafening silence.
âYeah, okay. S-see you then.â
Abruptly, you hung up before the tears could start again. Not even letting him throw in a sincere goodbye to your predicament.
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Just like what you remembered, Moonlight was still a breathtaking place where the golden sun shone during the day and the moon peeked out from the dim curtains of nighttime. You sighed, staring longingly at the beautiful scenery before you and sat down under one of the trees. Itâd been so long since you chose to come here, especially by yourself this time. There were happy memories that came along with this place and you didnât want to think about the bad ones, of course. However everywhere you looked, it would only remind you of him and that was the least thing you wanted to have at the back of your mind right now.
Checking the time, you made sure you didnât arrive too early or too late. It was a few minutes after five and true to your word, you actually came. You were surprised at yourself for showing up voluntarily with your mind in such a bad condition, acting as if you were okay just for a stupid project. If youâd done this earlier, you wouldâve definitely said no. Perhaps it was the way he was worried about you- although, you thought it was fishy- that you wanted to come. Maybe then you wouldâve gotten the attention you wanted after all this time, with this being the final time youâll see him.
Eventually, you saw the familiar blue haired boy arrive just a quarter after your planned time. He was panting heavily and you swore you almost felt bad for him until the image of him catching eyes with you from earlier rearranged your thought process by miles. You stood up expectantly as he ran over to you, planting his hands on his knees in order to regain breath.
âSo sorry for being late, Y/N,â he choked out restlessly, taking your hands into his as an apology. He held them tightly in place, squeezing in an attempt to excuse himself for why he was late. Instantly you gasped at the contact, slowly pulling away so that he wouldnât realize that you more or less hated his affection. At times when youâd be melting at this, you failed to realize that your suspicions were true and he was playing you behind your back.
A tight lipped smile that screamed passive-aggressiveness became of your lips and you were eager to take a few steps away from him, shuffling to get under the spot you sat earlier. You backed away a little bit but werenât able to get far because your shoes slipped from something shaped like a square underneath you. The breath was knocked off your lungs as you fell towards the ground and you plunged back, waiting to hit the ground. That is, until someone caught you by the waist.
You opened your eyes after a few seconds of waiting and as soon as you did... you felt all the blood rush up into your face.
âY-Yeonjun...â
You werenât expecting anything like this. Nothing sweet like this at all! Said boy was intently gazing at you, holding you by the waist as you were too shocked to say or hell- even do anything with him this close. Your head tilted away to the side this time, trying to think of anything else that would stop the intermittent pace of your heart beats. Gossiping with Soobin about what happened just now, the way you fell at school a few years earlier and embarrassed yourself and how he helped you up out of everyone else right after, the first moment you laid eyes on him and met the blue haired boy just like that... But no, all you could think of was him, him, and only him!
He seemed to be getting a kick out of this, teasing you with an adorable smile that had you awestruck.
âWere you scared...? Donât worry about it anymore; Iâll always be here to catch you when you fall, I promise.â
It was then that he started to lean in after chuckling at your shyness, bringing your face closer to his as his eyes ran across yours. Your breath quickened just by looking back at him turn towards you- his gorgeous eyelashes that you felt the need to count each, his nose that was sculpted by the angels, his cherry blossom pink lips you so desperately needed- memorizing every valley on his face as you had done earlier when the two of you dated. Oh wait, dated...?
In a moment, you flung yourself off him. What were you doing with him?! Whatever this was and whatever he was doing- it wasnât right! It just wasnât right... It wasnât right when he was choosing to see someone else, and that girl back there no matter how much you couldnât help but despise her- did not deserve it. It wasnât right.
Your legs felt like jelly, unable to stand by yourself as you carried out an attempt to get away from him. It didnât seem so long ago that you couldnât get enough of him but now you were itching to be left alone. You wanted to deal with this yourself, not reignite the fire of the hopes that he would return back. He lost that chance and you lost the chance of loving him again- even if yes, you still did love him. It was enough for you anyway- the love he gave you before only serving as a unreachable memory. You realized you needed to relinquish him.
Immediately you pushed him off you, watching the sweet expression on his face bend into something broken. The distance between you became even farther and farther with every breath your chest heaved. You gulped.
âIâm fine. Letâs just get to work so we can finish this,â you deadpanned, bringing your books that used to be laying dormant on the green grassland against your chest, moving under the tree where he broke up with you. This way you would be able to remind yourself that it wasnât meant to be.
Surprised by your ill nature, Yeonjun nodded carefully, deciding to ponder in his head what was making you act this way instead of asking more questions. There was obviously something wrong, but he didnât want to bother you more. To him he was unable to think of what he had done wrong and certainly hated the tense atmosphere when you refused to touch him, much less look at him. He just went along with it unknowingly like a fool that it was because of him the whole time.
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It was too hard to concentrate.
Your eyes searched despondently over the materials over and over and over again to write down something- anything that could possibly benefit the project, but it didnât help at all that your mind was still on the boy sitting in front of you. Like a mantra, the memories of him smiling with that flawless girl kept replaying in your head as many more times as you bit by bit became insane with wrenching love.
Again, you couldnât help but steal another glance at him before quickly ducking back down so he wouldnât be able to catch you staring. He looked so peaceful while retracing his steps in the books, laying on his hand as a stand for his cheek. You hated how he could act so fine while you were left with nothing but hate towards him. Could you even call it hate anyway? It wasnât true at all.
Yeonjunâs soothing voice snapped you out from your daze of pity, but it did the least to heal you and your pathetic attitude.
âHey, do you think we could rest a second? I might fall asleep here if we have to keep reading about this nonsense stuff.â
You didnât look up from your book, allowing him easy access to rest on your shoulder as silently as he could. His heart leaped with joy in his chest, but there was no chance heâd ever say it out loud. He graciously laid his head down upon it, becoming enamoured with your scent as he reached out to touch your hand. This need of affection easily leveled the desire which screamed out he needed you, but he wasnât sure if heâd ever get an opportunity to be yours again.
You, on the other hand, was dying to tell him you loved him- but it wasnât right when he simply had the same love as you for another girl.
But at the same time, you wanted to be strong. You had to be strong in order to convince him you were doing fine without him even if the truth was far from that. You had to put on a mask to hide the pain you were going through just because of him and his stupid, contagious smile that makes you grin every time you see it. You had to be strong, otherwise youâd never fool him that you needed him more than anything or anybody youâve ever wanted. You had to be strong... but why were all your actions simply betrayed you no matter what you did?
âGet off me.â
Your shoulders started to shake aimlessly, shuddering when you felt his head bury more into the crook of your skin. He mustâve not heard anything, and you clenched your jaw until it twitched with pain.
âI said, get off me!â
As hard as you could, you pushed him off you- enough that you were just inches apart from him. It didnât compare to the distance between you that you came to note before.
The tears were hot against your cheeks and you collapsed into your shaking hands, unable to hold it in anymore. In all your life, youâve never felt so humiliated before just because a boy lied to you willingly. You felt pathetic.
To say the least, Yeonjun was taken aback, his eyes wide with shock as he hopelessly reached out his hand to you. All the love you bore just for him crashed into waves upon your chest, and you slapped his fingers away harshly before he could even say something.
Miserably you hid your face from him, not allowing him to see such a mess that he caused by his own hands.
âWho even are you? Are you the Choi Yeonjun who broke up with me or are you someone else?! I donât understand how you can act like this after everything that happened... tell me, are you just playing with me or something?â
âY/N, thatâs not what I meant to do...â he tried tiredly, scooting closer to no avail as you turned your back away from him.
You laughed at his words, still not being able to look at him straight in the eye.
âNot what you meant to do? Youâre telling me that itâs not what you meant to do?! Then who- who was she? Because it seemed to me that you were happier with her than you couldâve ever been with me!â
The silence that broke you apart was too deafening as you caught another look at him.
âY/N, thatâs not true... just listen, please,â Yeonjun begged, gazing at you desperately with unreadable but melancholy expression that had you on edge. He knew that you wouldnât stay if he physically bound you in his embrace, but he had no clue what to do or what to say. He just wanted- no, needed you to really live.
Your heart broke all the more at the words he tried to pick up in order to explain- which you were sure he could hear even if he seemed very far. Easily you trashed his attempt away, getting up from your spot since you didnât want to hear anything- anymore lies that would hurt the person you tried so hard to protect and shield away from the inevitable demise of love... that was you.
Yeonjun hurriedly got up along with you, leaving the pile of your books abandoned on the floor as he rushed out to match your pace. He ran with all his might to catch up with you but every time he reached your side- you would push him away like earlier and he didnât have time to find his breath.
âYeonjun, leave her alone. Havenât you done enough, already?â
Seconds later upon hearing another voice, you rushed to someone elseâs side, hoping that he would be able to protect you from the danger. It was pitiful with you standing right behind him as if that would help, but it did more than what you could ever be grateful for.
Yeonjun tensed up at his spot, stunned to see Soobin when he couldâve sworn nobody else was at Moonlight. In his mind, he could see the two of you right there apart from everything else- the two friends that looked so good together... it had to be much better than him after what heâd done. He came to a thought, letting his guard down while words of Soobin asking too many questions towards you occupied his head.
âI knew it. I knew you two were dating. I-I shouldâve known,â he mumbled under his breath, his morals paralyzing him in place as he dropped his gaze towards at the ground instead.
Somehow Soobin heard this muttering and smugly smirked at this silly situation, taking a fresh opportunity that could probably boost destinyâs way before hiding it with a deep frown. He pulled you flush against his chest, holding you when you surprisingly really needed it from someone else.
âYou finally figured this out? Leave us alone; you lost your chance the minute you broke up with her, pal.â
As Soobin dragged you along, you took one last look towards Yeonjun and gasped when you saw along with yours- two longing eyes flowing with tears that were nothing short of love. You wanted to reach out to help him not to cry like that even if he hurt you, but it would never work out and heâd leave you just like heâd done before. This only showed that you werenât meant to be, never in a million years. Â
And with that you left with the help of Soobin, leaving Yeonjun alone at Moonlight. Time passed to the point where he gazed upon the stars- wishing that you would come back because he wanted to say he still loved you- by himself.
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It was Thursday, the final day where the two of you would ultimately finish this project. The death of having an obligation which ripped your heart out, for better or for worse. The demise of whatever love you shared. The end of seeing him because you really wanted- no, you needed to. Everything was over in a blink of an eye and you were left feeling bittersweet about the situation... more bitter compared to sweet because you wanted more time with him. You knew deep down inside it wasnât too much to ask, but... ending this would be for the better. It must be.
You were on your usual pathway home from the library after trying to bribe the librarian to excuse you from losing your books (when you actually accidentally left it there with him) while along the way thinking about what to do to make a grand finish for the project. Since the two of you worked on it a lot for a few hours before you exploded on him- something you werenât sorry for in the least bit because it got your feelings out- it was safe to say that he wouldnât bother you about it anymore. He finished his side, you were assuming, so he didnât have to see you for the time being unless he ever decided to talk it out with you. Other than the fact that you totally hurt him back there, it honestly served you a great victory on a silver platter as you waited for the dragged out day to be over.
It was petty, of course it was! But after what he did back there at the Boulangerie while not to mention, make eye contact with you- sweet revenge had to be one of the best tastes a connoisseur could ever call upon.
And the project? Oh yeah, thatâs right. It was a good thing that it was the final day so you wouldnât have to act civil with him, for better or for worse.
After a few more blocks finally, you made it home, causing you to sigh out in relief. Hurriedly you grabbed your keys from your purse, fumbling with several of them to find the one that fit perfectly. The familiar touch never came though, and you groaned loudly, cursing yourself in your head for forgetting it in the library. It was when you set it down next to the book you were reading before you confronted the librarian- poor old woman- and somehow, you forgot to pick it up the second you got up.
Great, now this.
You opted to stare at the horizon in front of you, letting the breeze freely cool down your body. The sight was nothing less than pretty. It was a windy, golden sunny day outside but you didnât want anything to do with it. All day you were planning to mope around the house and watch your favorite shows, procrastinating âtil the last minute until the due date of every assignment arrived. They hit differently whenever you grabbed a bag of chips downstairs to finish them along with the homework, and you giggled at every moment that flashed in your head.
There was nothing else better to do but call Soobin, right? Although you didnât want to bother him because these months have definitely been annoying for him whether he said it or not.
Defeated, you then stared down into the white porch as if it was at fault, feeling fear rise up your throat. What were you going to do? There was no one else you had given the key to, except...
âY/N? Can we talk?â
Oh, no. Oh, no... Oh no no no!
When you heard that voice you were instantly glued to that spot, feet affixed on the porch as your heart beat too fast for its own good. Your mind mustâve been hallucinating and playing tricks on you; clearly you werenât ready to see him yet!
Swiftly you moved your head to the side, eyes widening with appall to see that he was actually right there. Expression nothing less than sorrow, hair messed up and fluffy right in front of his eyes, cherry blossom lips curved into a trembling frown: it was Yeonjun, alright, but yet it was someone you couldnât recognize due to the complete change of attitude in him. He was tightly holding onto your books but seemingly refusing to hand them over as if that would do anything better and increase the need for conversation. Unlike his stiff posture, his eyes held firm intent though, and you quivered at the determination sewn in them.
âDo you need anything?â
Instead of acting childish like you played out in your head, you simply responded it a curt voice because it was better than saying nothing and benefiting the sworn silence. More than anything you wanted to get out of there and leave the awkward tension, but there was nothing else you could possibly do without embarrassing yourself due to the fact you lost your keys.
âI... I...â This time, he avoided your eyes, words caught in his throat as he couldnât find the exact thing to say. It wouldnât make things any better, you realized. It just wasnât meant to be.
You pursed your lips, locking them into a line. Whatever he had to say- it didnât matter. Plus, there was another thing. As your eyes were already tearing up, it would be hard to stay for long to listen to his words. There was no telling what youâd say if tears automatically streamed down your cheeks.
âIf you donât have anything to say, then Iâll l-leave. We can just work on the project separa-â
Clack!
Clack!
Clack!
Before you could even stay true to your words, Yeonjun took slow steps towards you that had you walking backwards... without you looking.
Soon enough your back hit the door, and you gasped at the close proximity between the two of you now as he leaned in. His hands reached out to cage you in between his arms, tilting his head to the side to study your reaction. The soft blue hair brushed against the top of your head- showing how dangerously close he was. His breath fanned across your lips and his heavenly cologne infiltrated your sense of smell. If he decided to torture you even more, then youâd be able to touch noses from how near he was.
Look, you werenât sure how to describe it at that moment other than- he was pinning you to the damn wall?! Suddenly you felt all the blood rush in your face, and it was then that you couldnât make eye contact with him anymore- especially because heâd see how embarrassed you were! He didnât have to be that close!
âyes, I need something. Or more specifically, you.â
His voice was much more huskier than you remembered it to be, and his eyes fell upon yours, begging for you to look back if not for your anxiety that he was this close. You immediately shut your eyes, heart beating erratically in your chest even if you tried to stop it by focusing on something else. But Yeonjun... how could you not think of anything else but him?! He was nothing short of breathtaking but seeing him this close and personal... it didnât do good things for your heart!
âM-me?â
It was obvious that the boy was amused even if he felt guilty about the problem, making a quick exhale through his nose to show entertainment. His chuckle that came heartily through his chest caused your ears to heat up with shame since it showed how weak you were- just for him.
âYes you, you silly baby,â he cooed endearingly, âwho else could it be?â
âYouâre one to be calling me silly! Donât pretend like you were the one the other day who asked if frogs have blood!â
In a split second, his face morphed into something nothing less than serious and his left arm dropped to his side. You couldnât help but wonder at the duality he managed to have when the gravity of the situation hit him.
âI miss things like this. I miss it so much. I miss joking around with you and chasing you around the house just to tickle you. I miss how attached you were because little did you know, I was just as much attached to you as you were to me.
âI miss the sweet look you give me every time I ask you out on a date. I miss having you right beside me whenever we studied together because you were the only person who cheered me on even when it was two in the morning. I miss giving you random kisses out of nowhere because I canât get enough of you and that adorable, surprised face whenever I did so.
âI miss slipping my hand into yours whenever we would walk home together, letting you cling onto me so that I could protect you from all dangers. I miss giving you victory every argument we had because I hate making you cry. I miss cuddling you on the couch as we watched our favorite shows together whenever we were too lazy to get up and how I couldnât stop smiling every time you laughed.
âI miss kissing the top of your forehead and you never knew because you were asleep. I miss waking up with you by my side and seeing something so gorgeous it would stay in my head all day even if I studied the same materials over and over again. I miss looking up at the stars with you at Moonlight and resting my head on your lap as you ran your fingers through my hair and how weâd do it every single week.
âCanât you see? I miss you and every little thing you do, simple or exquisite. I know why you acted that way yesterday and I hate myself so much for not realizing it until later. I owed her something after she told me a way to somehow get closer to you when Iâd done such a horrible thing. You can love Soobin- I donât care about myself anymore as long I get to see my favorite girl smile due to the fact that sheâs in love.
âY/N, you mean much more to me than anything and itâs okay if youâre happy not loving me again because at least I got to experience the full joy and sadness that visited along with the love of my life. This may be the last time you may ever want to see me, but please... let me tell you how much I need you one last time.â
His eyes were shining, full of sincerity that you were able to feel even if you werenât him. Tears resembling glistening pearls streamed down with his cheeks as he finally told you the truth heâd been dying to tell you, allowing you to see his vulnerabilities inside out. And yet, he was genuinely smiling as he confessed this, happy enough he got the chance to tell you loved you one last time.
Gradually he extended his arms out wide, allowing you to have your personal space while he took a few steps backwards and towards the grass where you followed him. By the end of it all, you werenât able to help the tears welling up in your eyes at how touched you were from the inside. It was him, the boy who promised to love you until the end of time.
âY-Yeonjun, I...â he cut in through your words, closing his eyes in fear of the pain that would soon become of his body if you did in the end, choose to grant his wish. It simply wasnât enough to level the agony of his heart, but he was willing to take all the pain instead of burdening it on you.
âIâll let you push me. Iâll let you hit me. Iâll let you get back what you deserve. You can slap me, as long as you let everything out. I donât want you to hurt anymore because of me, so just do it!â
...
...
...
Silence.
Oh, the euphoric relief coursing in your veins that really pushed you over the edge.
Immediately you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could because you never wanted to let go. You melted into his embrace upon contact, burying your head against his chest that was warm and overflowing with passion. Yeonjun hesitantly embraced you back, unsure of what happened just now.
You couldnât help but giggle at his dumbfound expression.
âYou silly baby,â you teased, repeating his playful words from earlier, âIâm not dating Soobin and I never have. Why would I date him when Iâll never love this way again?â
You booped his nose as quickly as you could, smiling when he finally reciprocated the same grin back.
âChoi Yeonjun, you were such a fool to lose me, but Iâm even more of a fool to love you again. Iâve never stopped loving you, although Iâm sure you already knew that, hEY-â
With happiness overflowing the boy, he picked you up and you were swept off your feet in a second. Wide smiles reflected back and forth from his face to yours as he spun you around him a few inches from the ground, pure bliss surrounding the two of you since you both were complete again. He let you laugh in his hands, tickling your sides unintentionally while you snickered at him to let you down. He only chuckled at this, stopping in place but still refusing to listen to your request.
âI love your very big brain thatâs so smart it makes me frustrated with how dumb I am sometimes,â he brought you down a little bit to kiss your forehead. He then trailed down to your nose.
âI love how you ask me for opinions of perfume when you know deep down instead I adore your natural scent instead,â he kissed your nose and you laughed at the feeling it naturally gave you.
âBut most importantly,â Yeonjun placed you down on the golden grasslands again and ceased right in front of your lips, letting his breath fall upon them, âI love you.â
Then he connected your lips together, bringing you closer towards him than he had ever done before.
At last, everything was finally perfect.
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Posted: 3/29/21- 1:37am (yes i did stay up halfway to two am just to get this finished. priorities people- itâs just a sweet early monday here đđ§)
Tags:
#txt fluff#txt angst#txt reactions#txt fic#txt ff#txt scenario#txt imagines#txt drabbles#yeonjun fluff#yeonjun angst#yeonjun fic#yeonjun ff#yeonjun scenario#yeonjun imagines#yeonjun drabbles#txt fanfic#yeonjun fanfic#*ïœĄă keahâs requests !ăïœĄ*
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Grounded - Levi Ackerman x Reader
I had this whole thing typed out but it all got deleted cuz im an idiot so all Iâll say is that writing for Levi is hella difficicult, I hate the ending, and I hope you all enjoy. also yes there is a line from TWD in here but it fit so perfectly and it was too good to pass up okay? and I gave Hange they/them pronouns btw
(also one of my favorite fanfic writers @phen0lâ followed me and uhh I just wanna say that Iâm honored?? They write amazing Levi fics and fics for other fandoms, so make sure to go check them out)
Summary: The Scouts are getting ready for the 57th expedition outside the walls, and you canât help but let Levi know how worried you feel about the possible outcome of the mission
Word count: 6.8k
Warnings/other info: swearing, angst, death, spoilers for AOT season 1, reader has possible anxiety, reader is kept gender nuetral
No matter how many times you face them, no matter how many times you find yourself suspended in mid-air right over their gaping mouths, ready to swallow you whole, you will always have nightmares about that one fateful day in Shiganshina. The day the Colossal Titan kicked in Wall Maria and let his friends feast on the people in your district. Your friends, family, all destined to be one thing at that moment. Titan fodder. You still wonder how you made it out sometimes. How through all the commotion, a titan didnât target you and scoop you into its mouth, effectively sealing your fate just like everyone around you. You chalked it up to luck at first before telling yourself that was bullshit. Luck didnât have anything to do with it. Shit just happens, and thereâs nothing you can do about it besides roll with the punches and try your best to survive.
The sight of your sister and father being eaten by those beasts was permanently engraved behind your eyelids, seeing flashes of their thrashing, screaming bodies whenever you close your eyes to go to sleep. In those moments, you always wondered why you survived rather than them. Your sister⊠she was the sweetest little thing, lighting up a room whenever she smiled and constantly greeting you at the door with a hug whenever you came back from shopping in town. You swore her laugh was all you needed to take you right out of a bad mood, reminding you that things werenât so bad if you had someone so full of joy in your life. And your father, while he was stubborn, he made sure to take care of his family the best he could, and you were forever grateful for that. He raised you to be strong and rely on yourself because in the end, the only person you truly had on your side was you.
No one really knew about your past. Well, besides your superiors who needed to know, but other than them, your fellow cadets knew the bare minimum about your private life. Although, when they found out you were from Shiganshina, they all just automatically assumed you suffered a great loss of some kind, whether it be your family or your home. In your case, it was both. Of course, you were close with some of the other soldiers. Eld and Petra were people you considered to be good friends with, along with the rest of your captainâs squad. Though, that didnât stop you from wanting to deck Oluo in the face whenever he got too cocky, throwing his arm around your shoulders during lunch before immediately removing it when you would elbow him in the ribs.
âJeez, Oluo. You think youâd learn by now. What is this, the fifth, sixth time?â Petra asked, pushing a stray hand of hair behind her ear.
âSeventh,â you chimed as you brought a spoonful of soup up to your mouth.
âAw, youâve been keeping count. That must mean you actually like me.â
You raised an eyebrow as you looked over at him, placing the spoon back in your bowl before licking the remaining soup off of your lips. âYou know this food is still steaming. Donât make me throw it at your old ass face.â
He let out a noise of protest while the rest of the table laughed, and you snickered to yourself before shifting your gaze to meet Leviâs, his steely eyes almost piercing through you before he looked down into his cup and tuned back into the conversation his commander and squad leader Hange were having, watching as the dark liquid swirled around.
You always knew Levi to be a man of few words, but a strong sense of purpose. He wasnât one to waste time on trivial things, always wanting to get straight to the point. He didnât seem to be the type to waste time on feelings either, but you guessed it wasnât any of your business. You knew he felt things. Experienced emotions and all that. Youâd be stupid to think he didnât. During training, when heâd survey your group to see how things were going, there would always be gossip when he left, your peers saying how he was cold and emotionless, but you disagreed. You had already heard the rumors of the captain being some type of underground gangster at that point, so when you really thought about it, it wasnât unusual or weird for him to act the way he did. Something, someone, had made him that way, and that was okay. Something had affected all of you too. The world you all lived in didnât have the time to spare you from grief or trauma.
âCadet l/n.â
You jumped slightly at the sudden mention of your name, lifting your head to see your captain entering the mess hall with a signature cup of tea in his hand, and you gave him a lazy smile before looking back down at your own cup, the liquid having gone cold over the time you had been sitting there. Levi didnât reprimand you for not saluting him, just silently walked over and occupied the seat across from you, looking at you with that stern gaze of his.
âYou should be asleep. I wonât make training any easier for you tomorrow just because youâre tired.â
âThis isnât unusual for me, captain. Just needed something else to look at that wasnât my bedroom wall,â you said, your voice quiet.
He slightly tilted his head as he studied you, lifting his hand to gesture around the room. âAnd you thought an empty mess hall would be better?â
You let out a scoff, meeting his eyes for a moment before sipping at your drink and immediately grimacing at the taste of it. âItâs better than the alternative. For now, at least.â
He didnât respond at first, simply staring off into the distance as he let your words sink in before setting down his cup with a soft âclink.â You thought that maybe if you werenât so over everything at the moment, you wouldnât be acting so casual with your superior, but he didnât seem to be bothered by it. Hopefully this wouldnât bite you in the ass later
âYouâre not the first one here to experience nightmares, you know.â
âOh, so you have this talk with all of the cadets in the middle of the night?â
âNo,â he answered simply, taking another sip of his drink.
You didnât know why, but that simple interaction had been the best one you had with another person in months. Sure, you loved the company of your friends, but talking to Levi was just so⊠different. Almost liberating in a way. There were things you had told him that you never told anyone else during your late-night meetings, and it got to the point where you had found yourself looking forward to talking with him. Because you knew that behind his gaze was a man that felt so much, and you knew what that was like.
âYou know⊠I only really made it out because they were too busy eating my family.â
Levi paused at that, eyebrows slightly raised as he looked at you over his cup that was pressed to his lips. He didnât speak at first, taking his time as he leisurely drank his tea, and you could practically feel the depth of the silence looming over the both of you like it was its own presence.
âShit, maybe I shouldâve just kept my mouth shut,â you thought, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you anxiously waited for Leviâs response.
You didnât want him to pity you. That was never your intention. You guessed you just.... wanted someone to know what you were thinking and feeling, tired of constantly keeping it to yourself. If you got eaten by a titan one day, youâd at least want someone to know who you were. Who you really were.
âSorry, I umâŠâ you looked around at everything besides the man sitting in front of you, trying to find a way to fill the silence. âYou probably donât wanna hear some sob story from some cadet, I-â
ââSome cadet?ââ
Your eyes snapped over to his, mouth slightly agape before swallowing thickly. âI⊠Well I mean-â
âTalking like that about yourself isnât going to change anything or make anything better. Youâre not just some cadet, and Iâm even willing to say that youâre not as bad as some of the shit-for-brains we have here. You came here to do the same thing everyone else is here to do. Fight for humanity. Whether your end goal is selfish or to try and relieve yourself of some guilt from the past, it doesnât matter.â He leaned closer to you, elbows placed on the table as he pinned you with his gaze. âEvery life sacrificed out there matters. So does yours, even if you donât think it does. And itâs our job to make sure those soldiers donât die in vain.Â
You didnât know what to say. No one had ever really talked to you like this, so how could you know how to respond? Luckily, he started speaking again so that you didnât have to.
âYour familyâŠÂ itâs a shame what happened to them. What you had to go through. But, their deaths will be avenged, and I will make damn sure of it.â
That night was the first time you cried in probably months. You thought Levi would think of you as some pathetic little soldier, trying to gain the sympathy of their captain, but he didnât. He just placed a hand over yours and let you cry, and you remembered how you were sort of surprised by how warm he was. You remember that talk like it was only yesterday when in reality it was years ago. You and Levi didnât talk as much as you used to, considering the fact that he was constantly busy with helping the titan shifter cadet, Eren Jaeger, and you had been recruited to squad leader, so you had your own people to deal with. But that didnât mean you two never spoke. Whenever your paths crossed, youâd make sure to give him a little greeting, whether it was a simple wave or a âhello.â And occasionally, when you couldnât sleep and youâd come down to the mess hall, he was there, a steaming cup of tea in front of him, and youâd talk for a few hours until you both agreed it was time to try and catch some sleep.
Now, the soldiers were getting ready for the 57th expedition, and you couldnât shake off the bad feeling you got whenever you thought about it. Of course, every expedition was dangerous. More often than not, the scouts would come back from outside the walls with more than a few dead, and on bad days, their numbers would be cut in half. Eren was making progress, and you hoped he would be useful, but a part of you was still doubtful.
âIâm worried,â you stated, arms crossed over your chest as you stood next to Levi, watching the cadets train vigorously.
âYou always worry.â
You glanced over at the man and huffed, seeing him completely focused on the soldiers before you lightly kicked your boot into the dirt. âI guess thatâs kinda my thing, isnât it? Can you blame me though? Weâve seen what Eren can do, but⊠he hardly has it under control. And this isnât exactly a normal expedition.â
âThings will turn out the way they turn out. Thereâs nothing we can do except make sure things go the best way they can.â
You sighed. Levi was able to reassure you most of the time, but other times he did nothing to calm your nerves. It wasnât his job to, though. His responses were straightforward, and if you didnât like it then that was just something you had to deal with.
âEver the optimist, Levi,â you said, a sarcastic lilt to your voice, and you smiled when he glanced at you before shaking his head.
âHey! Youâre not here to slack off. Pick up the pace before I make you all train through dinner.â
You were used to Levi giving out orders. Hell, he gave them to you all the time, but his commanding voice sent shivers down your spine at that moment.
âHeâs a freaking tiny tyrant, I swear,â you heard one of the cadets mutter, and you couldnât help but snicker as you turned your head away from your captain, covering your mouth to conceal your smile.
âFind something funny?â
You cleared your throat as you shook your head, turning to Levi with a grin and shrugging your shoulders. âNot at all, captain. Just have a little cough is all.â
âMhm. Maybe I should make you run it off then.â
âAw câmon, Levi. Have a little laugh. We all need one once in a while, especially considering the day youâre all going to have tomorrow.â
He just let out a hum, and your smile slowly dropped as you looked out at the horizon, the sky painted in beautiful strokes of orange and pink. Yes, you were right, you all needed those small moments of joy in this fucked up world you lived in, but you werenât stupid enough to believe that those moments could last forever. Sometimes you just had to face the reality of the situation you were all in, and you couldnât help the feeling of dread that filled you as you thought about tomorrow.
âYouâre overthinking. Stop it,â Levi said, snapping you out of your thoughts.
You shook your head and gave him a smile that felt bittersweet. âI canât help it sometimes. I wish I could go with you.â
âWe have enough force and skill in the recruits we have for the expedition. It would be a waste to put you and your squad into it and leave you hanging with no real job to do.â
âNo real job? Weâd be doing what everyone else would be; killing titans and keeping Eren safe! How would we not be useful? You know for a fact that my squad and I are plenty skilled and-â
âWe canât risk more sacrifices by putting you out there. We have enough people to hopefully accomplish what we need to.â
âThen why wasnât my squad a first choice to go beyond the walls this time? Weâre more capable than most of the people here and you know it. Maybe if I talk to Erwin heâll-â
âThis wasnât just Erwinâs decision, it was mine. And your insubordination is starting to get irritating, so I suggest you take a walk.â
You looked at Levi with widened eyes, disbelief clear on your face, and you swallowed down what you actually wanted to say before letting out a deep breath.
âLevi, I-â
âTake a walk, l/n. I donât wanna hear about it.â
You simply blinked at him a few times, clearly upset by the way he addressed you, before letting out a scoff and walking away, your jaw and fists clenched tightly. Yes, maybe you were being a bit childish, but you refused to acknowledge that when you felt so pissed at the moment.
âI mean, how can he just treat me like that?! Just completely dismiss me and not even give me a reasonable answer! Heâs so⊠Heâs just so⊠Ugh!â
You groaned and rested your head in your hands as you sat across from Hange, your friend looking at you with raised brows as they idly tapped their fingers against the table.
âI mean, he is your superior, y/n.â
âBut thatâs not the point! Like, yeah okay, I know heâs my captain and all that, but⊠Weâve always just been casual with each other. Weâve never seen each other as our ranks. I still respect him and follow his orders when he gives them butâŠâ You let out a noise of frustration and slammed your fists down on the table. âThat doesnât give him the right to just pull out the superiority card whenever it benefits him!â
Hange blinked a few times before letting out a sigh, brushing a piece of stray hair out of their face as they leaned back in their chair, shrugging their shoulders. âI mean, he said it was also his decision, right? So maybe⊠heâs trying to keep you safe?â
Your eyes widened almost comically, feeling heat travel up the back of your neck at the mention of the possibility that Levi was concerned about your safety. âI-I⊠I mean he- um.â
âOh my, are you getting flustered, y/n? Does the thought of Levi caring about you make your heart race?â Hange asked, a playful smirk on their face.
âStop! For the love of everything, please stop,â you whined, waving your hands in front of you as you tried to ignore how embarrassed you felt.Â
Hange just laughed at you, continuing to poke fun until you threatened to not be a part of their crazy experiments anymore, to which they quickly backed off. You thought talking with Hange might make you feel better, but hours later when you were pacing in front of the door to Leviâs office, you still wanted to rip your hair out as you thought of what to say to him. Letting out a huff and straightening your posture, trying to gain some nerve, you raised your hand to knock on the door, only for it to suddenly open and reveal your captain, his cravat having come off and the first few buttons of his shirt undone.
âYour incessant pacing is driving me up the wall. What do you want?â
Oh, so he had heard you. You avoided eye-contact, reaching a hand up to rub at the back of your neck before clearing your throat to try and relieve some of the awkwardness you felt.
âUm⊠can I come in?â
You both stood there for a moment, Leviâs gaze traveling up and down your body before stepping aside to let you in, and you gave him a small, appreciative nod as you walked inside his office. The tension in your shoulders was almost painful, your whole body almost stiff as Levi walked in front of you to sit on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest. You didnât know why you felt so nervous. It was only Levi, a man you had come to know for years. And while you didnât know everything about him, you still considered you both to be somewhat close. So why were you feeling so weird right now?
âUh⊠I wanted to talk about this afternoon,â you said, mindlessly fidgeting with your fingers.
Levi raised a curious brow, letting you linger in silence for a moment before letting out a soft hum. âNot sure itâs something worth talking about.â
Lips curving into a small frown, you mimicked his posture and crossed your arms, shifting your weight onto one foot. âWell, I think we left some things⊠unaddressed back there, and I wanna talk about it.â
He didnât say anything, and you were starting to get pissed, your fuse short enough as it is. Your frustration finally hit its peak when he grabbed the cup of tea next to him and wordlessly took a sip, and you swore at that moment you wanted to take the cup and smash it against his head.
âGoddammit, would you stop drinking your stupid fucking tea and listen to me?!â you yelled, and you could see a flash of shock in his eyes at your outburst before he glared at you, setting his cup down.
âYou wanna repeat that?â
âOh, donât get all fucking âCaptain Leviâ on me. You know exactly what all of this is about. You didnât even try to give me a reasonable explanation earlier, and I feel like I deserve one.â
âDo you? You think you deserve something for acting like this?â
âIâm not a child!â
âBut I am your superior, which you seem to forget quite a lot.â
âThat is such bullshit! Since when have you given two fucks about ranks when it comes to us? I follow your orders when I have to, not when you use your superiority when itâs most convenient for you.âÂ
Levi clicked his tongue as he got off of his desk, rounding it to sit in his chair, and your fists were clenched so tightly it was becoming almost painful, your nails digging into your palms.
âYou know, you say youâre not a child, yet you constantly act like one. Throwing a fit when you donât get your way. Sometimes I wonder why Erwin made the decision to promote you.â
Your eyes widened as you softly gasped, questioning if you heard Levi correctly, but you know you did. There was no mistaking it. You always believed that Levi knew that you were capable, that you could protect yourself. But now he made you question if he really thought those things. Did he even respect you as a soldier? After countless nights of spilling your guts to him and him reassuring you⊠did he think of you as just some simple-minded cadet? You felt like your heart was in your throat and tears were threatening to spill, but you just swallowed everything down and turned your head away.
âGood luck on the expedition tomorrow,â you muttered, and you were quick to leave his office and rush back to your room, tears spilling down your cheeks.
______________
When it came time for your fellow scouts to leave for the expedition in the morning, you were a bit reluctant to watch them, knowing that youâd end up automatically spotting Levi in the crowd, and the petty side of you wanted to ignore him at all costs. However, the rational side of you remembered that it wasnât just Levi going out there, it was other soldiers as well, most of them you knew personally, and youâd be damned if you didnât give them a proper send-off, knowing the likelihood of some of them not making it back. So, you dragged yourself out of bed and made yourself presentable, slipping on your jacket as you stepped out of your room.
âY/n!â
You turned at the shout of your name, seeing Hange waving excitedly at you as they jogged down the hall, slowing down to walk with you.
âSo? How did it go with Captain Shorty?â
You groaned and rolled your eyes, bringing your fingers up to rub at your temples to try and cease the headache you already felt coming. âI donât even wanna talk about it.â
âDang, that bad, huh?â Hange grimaced.
âYou have no idea. I just wanna forget about itâ
Hange didnât say anything more on the topic after that, simply talking about random things with you as you walked outside to the stables. You had a bad feeling settled in your stomach ever since you woke up, but as more time passed it just got worse.
âHange,â you muttered, the squad leader turning towards you with raised eyebrows as they held the reins to their horse.
âUh⊠Please be careful out there, okay?â
Hange looked shocked for a moment before their mouth split into a wide grin, and they quickly pulled you into a tight hug, which you immediately reciprocated.
âAw, y/n! Donât worry about me, Iâm always careful!â
âThat is such a lie, but Iâll believe you anyway,â you chuckled.
Pulling away from each other, Hange mounted their horse and joined the rest of the scouts at the gate, and you went to stand at the sidelines with the rest of your peers to watch them. Your eyes immediately caught sight of a head of familiar black hair, and you felt your heart grow heavy and your chest tighten, almost wishing he would feel your gaze and look over at you. But he didnât and with Erwinâs war-cry, they charged through the open gate, the horses kicking up dirt and dust, and you only got a glance at their retreating figures before the gate was closed again.
______________
Every minute that ticked by felt like hours. You didnât know how long they would be gone, the time usually spent outside the walls ranging from a few hours to a few days. You hoped it was the former, knowing that the longer they were out there, the more likely they were to get killed. You knew your comrades were skilled, having been outside the walls with them and seen their skills up close, but that didnât stop you from worrying. Now with the Eren being a titan shifter and a traitor in your midst, anything could happen.
You almost didnât acknowledge the shouting of your fellow soldiers that afternoon, too focused on taking care of some of the horses in the stables. But when you finally heard it, you quickly stopped what you were doing and ran to the gate. They were back. Adrenaline coursed through you as your heart pounded like a drum against your chest, and when you finally caught sight of the returning scouts, you immediately stopped in your tracks. The look on their faces was one of defeat, and you could already tell just by looking at them that not all of them made it back. When you spotted Hange, you felt some relief wash over you and you quickly made your way over to them, walking beside their horse.
âHange, what happened? Was the mission successful?â
Hange didnât answer, a blank look on their face, which was identical to the expressions on all of the other soldierâs faces. It was a bad day, that much you could tell, and you made brief eye-contact with Levi before looking for your friends. Only⊠you couldnât see them. Turning around frantically, you spotted Eren laying in a cart and ran over, jumping in beside him as you glanced at his hand clutching Mikasaâs. He looked even worse than everyone else did. No, loss was never easy, but Eren was just a kid, and experiencing so much of it at his age must have been devastating for him, especially when he was so passionate about saving humanity.
âEren, tell me what happened. Who⊠Who did we lose?â you asked.
You didnât even know if you wanted to know the answer, seeing Eren so broken and torn up already told you that what happened out there wasnât good, but when was it ever? The boy had tears falling down his cheeks, trying to keep his sobs quiet, and Mikasa just looked at you with narrowed eyes.
âY/n, I donât think right nowâs a good time-â
âPlease!â You gripped the cape that was laid over top of Eren, eyes focussed on the blue and white wings embroidered on the back and you sniffled as you tried to hold back the tears that were desperately trying to come out. âI⊠I need to know. Please, ErenâŠâ
He stared at you with wide eyes, Adamâs apple bobbing as he swallowed before letting out a shuddered breath. âThey⊠We were after the female titan and she⊠I couldnât save them, y/n. They died protecting me!â
Your face seemed void of any emotion as Erenâs words sunk in, piercing your heart like a million knives, and all you did was nod silently before jumping out of the cart, your mind going on autopilot as you walked. You didnât need him to explain who he was talking about for you to already put the pieces together. Levi had told you that Eren was going to be a part of his squad so that he could keep an eye on him, and his squad was in charge of protecting him. He had become humanityâs number one asset after all. Civilians were shouting at all of you, cursing at you and hurling insults at your face. You werenât even one of the scouts on the expedition, but that didnât matter. As long as you wore the wings of freedom on your back, you were a bastard like the rest of them. No more, no less.
You had stumbled too close to the crowd, too preoccupied with your thoughts to even notice, until a large man gripped your shoulders and pushed you in front of the horses, your body landing harshly in the dirt as some of the people laughed at you. You heard someone shout your name, but it sounded distant to you, everyoneâs drowned out underneath the roaring of your thoughts. You shifted yourself onto your hands and knees, only to look up and see Hange crouched down in front of you, a concerned expression on their face.
âY/n, are you okay? Can you hear me?â
There was a ringing in your ears as you looked at them, trying desperately to just get a grip.
The dirt under my hands, the dryness in my mouth, the shouts of the citizens, the musty smell of the horses⊠Hange right in front of me.
âIâm fine. I⊠Iâm fine.â
The single tear slipping down your cheek went unnoticed by you, but it was one of the things that let Hange know that you were lying. That you werenât fine. Reaching out to wipe the tear away Hange shook their head.
âY/n-â
âIâll see you later, okay?â
Giving Hange a tight-lipped smile, you picked yourself up off the ground and made your way back to the Scoutâs headquarters, feeling everyoneâs eyes on your back, and you couldnât help but wonder if Levi was watching you too.
______________
You didnât keep track of how long you cried that day, keeping yourself locked in your room and sobbing until your body physically couldnât produce any more tears. The last time you cried this much was when your family died, same thing could be said when you thought about the last time you felt this way. Like all hope was lost. You found yourself questioning what the point of all of this was for a moment before you quickly slapped yourself out of that thought. You knew why you had to do this, why the Survey Corps was important. But shit, all this loss? You didnât know how much more you could take. Especially if days like today became more frequent.
Then you got to thinking about Levi and the stupid argument you had yesterday. At the time, you felt like your feelings were justified, and maybe they were, but now you felt like a complete idiot for arguing with him, especially the day before an expedition where it was one hundred percent possible that he couldâve died out there. The thought of your last interaction being some petty argument made more tears fall, and you gripped the sheets of your bed so tightly that you thought they might rip. Did he even want to speak to you now? Maybe he realized that you were just some immature little soldier and wanted nothing to do with you.
No, you couldnât accept that. You wouldnât. Standing from your bed, you harshly wiped at your eyes and sniffled, trying to look like you werenât crying for hours on end - even though it was pointless, you knew Levi would be able to tell immediately - and exited your room to start making your way to Leviâs office. Your nerves were kicked into high gear, but you refused to let this man intimidate you. You were going to let him know how you felt and he was going to listen. Of course, your confidence immediately deflated when you found yourself standing in front of his door, but you swallowed down your nerves and knocked, taking a deep breath.
Leviâs muffled voice came from the other side of the door, telling you to come in, and you let out a small huff as you gripped the doorknob and let yourself in. He didnât even look up from the paperwork in front of him when you walked in, and as the door closed behind you and you moved to stand in front of his desk with your hands held behind your back, you lightly cleared your throat to get his attention. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, and you could feel yourself shrink under his gaze. There was no doubt he saw what happened earlier today when they came back, and from the way he was examining you, you knew he could easily tell that you had been crying.
âDid you need me?â he asked, and you sharply inhaled at the sound of his voice. It felt like forever since he talked to you last, and hearing him speak made your stomach do flips.
âUh⊠I donât know, honestly. I didnât really practice what I was going to say before I came in here.â
He raised a brow at you. ââPractice?ââ
âI mean, itâs kinda hard to talk to you. Not that thatâs a bad thing, itâs just⊠Ah shit, I donât know. It might just be me. Iâm not the best at articulating, you know?â
He hummed and grabbed his cup as you let out a sigh, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and leaning your elbows on your knees, bouncing your leg. Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you wordlessly gazed at him for a moment, a made-up image of his death flashing in your mind before you shook your head and ran your hand down your face.
âLook, um⊠I just wanted to say that Iâm sorry for yesterday. For questioning your judgment when I shouldâve just dealt with it. Youâre my superior and I disrespected you so⊠Again, Iâm sorry.â
Silence fell between you for a moment before he let out a sigh, setting down his cup before leaning his chin against his propped up hand. âDonât apologize. You were right.â
Your eyes widened. Did you hear that correctly? âUh, Iâm sorry?â
Getting up from his seat, he rounded his desk to stand in front of you, and you were even more confused. You swore he wouldâve been done with you by now.
âYou said you and your squad were more than capable of handling the mission. You were right. Or at least, you were right at the time. The female titan wouldâve wiped us all out if she wanted to, just like she did my squad. I donât doubt that if you went after her, youâd be dead right now too.â
You stiffened slightly at his words, fingers gripping your knees as you let out the breath you didnât realize you had been holding in. âOh.â
âAs captain, Iâm supposed to remain unbiased. My decisions should be based on the greater good of humanity and my comrades. If my judgment is wrong, then thatâs something I have to live with. Making my squad protect Eren was my decision, and they died.â He let out a long breath. âWhen Erwin decided to not bring you on the expedition, I was opposed to it at first. I knew that you and your squad would be able to aid us greatly, but I couldnât sway him. However, now that I think about it, Iâm glad you werenât there.â
You were at a loss for words. When Hange had joked the other day about Levi caring about you, you didnât take it seriously. But now that you were hearing all of this⊠Did he care for you? Or was it just your wishful thinking that was causing you to interpret things wrong? Slowly standing up, you briefly met his gaze before walking over to the window and looking out at the night sky, the sun having gone down a while ago, and you wrapped your arms around yourself as you tried to piece together what you wanted to say to him.
âEven if you think I was right, Iâm still sorry. I donât like arguing, especially with you. And the fact that you had to go on an expedition the next dayâŠâ You swallowed thickly. âI was scared. I know you say that thereâs no use regretting the decisions weâve made, but if you died out there today and a stupid argument was the last interaction we ever had, I wouldâve regretted it every day of my life.â You turned to face him, eyes glossing over. âI wouldâve beat myself up when I know youâd want me to continue to be strong. But I feel like I canât do that without you, and I feel so weak and stupid for saying that. For feeling like the only thing that gives me hope in this godforsaken world is you.â
Levi remained silent, not that you expected him to say anything, and you sniffled as you reached up to wipe at your teary eyes before sighing and giving him a sad smile.
âIâm sorry. I know you donât wanna hear some silly confession. Iâll let you get back to your business,â you said, walking past Levi to get to the door, but you didnât make it that far when his hand suddenly shot out and gripped your arm, causing you to turn back and look at him.
âWhy do you always do that?â
Your brows furrowed. âWhat do you mean?â
âYou never take yourself seriously and act like the people around you donât either. Youâre self-deprecating. You did the same thing when I found you in the mess hall years ago. Why?â
âI⊠I donât know, I guess I just get nervous around you.â
âWhy?â
Your mouth felt dry suddenly, and your heart was racing as Leviâs grip on your arm tightened and he pulled you closer. âBecause⊠I want to be strong in front of you. I donât want you to see me as someone immature and incapable, and Iâm scared of embarrassing myself in front of you.â
âDid you find your confession embarrassing? Do you want me to forget about it?â
âIf you want to.â
âMm. And what if I donât?â
You let out a shuddered breath, eyes flitting down to his lips for a moment. âThen what will you do about it?â
Neither of you moved at first, your gaze not leaving one another, and you felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest, it was going so fast. You wondered if Levi was experiencing the same feeling. Wondered if underneath that stoic, calm expression, his blood was pumping in his ears and his pulse was going crazy. You were waiting for him to do something, anything, as he stared at you with an almost challenging look. It made anger flare up in you for some reason, and you clenched your jaw as you narrowed your eyes.Â
No, I wonât let this get away from me.
Reaching up, your hand grabbed at his cravat, yanking him forward into an almost desperate kiss that had your mind reeling. His brows were scrunched up, body tense, before finally relaxing, and you could feel him almost melt into you as he brought both of his hands up to hold your face, eagerly responding. Your frustration had been building up ever since your fight, and you felt like you were both letting it all out now, each kiss hungry and rushed, barely able to pull your faces away before one of you was pulling the other one in again.
âFuck, I canât stand you sometimes,â you breathed out between kisses, fingers weaving into Leviâs dark locks and lightly tugging, causing him to let out a soft groan against your lips.
âStop talking.â
You donât know when the anxiety started bubbling in your stomach or why your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your throat, all you knew was that every sensation was suddenly overwhelming. Leviâs hands, his lips, his breath against your face, it was all too much. You were suddenly pushing him away, tears quickly building up behind your eyes as you panted for breath. Whether it be from the desperateness of your kisses, or the constricting of your chest, you didnât know. You just knew that everything was suddenly hitting you at once, and you couldn't get a grasp on how to deal with it.
âY/nâŠâ
Right, Levi was still here, and he looked at you with a hand slightly reached out, waiting for you to meet him halfway. You hesitated, staring at his hand like you were trying to see through it, before eventually grabbing it, and he slowly pulled you into his chest. Your arms were limp at your sides, silent tears streaming down your face as Levi held you.
âTheyâd be proud of you, y/n. You know that.â
You felt like you had been falling all of your life, nothing to stop you, nothing to hold onto as you plummeted through an endless abyss. But now, as you brought your hands up to grip the back of Leviâs jacket and sobbed into his shoulder, for once, you felt like your feet had finally found the ground.
#levi x reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi imagine#aot x reader#snk x reader#aot fanfiction#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi x gn!reader
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Idiots in love
aka another the fear of losing Tony makes Peter confess OS than no one asked
read on ao3
Tony thinks he doesnât deserve something as pure as Peter in his life. And because idiots always have to come as a pair, Peter thinks he doesnât deserve Tony either. Tony and Peter are both idiots in love thinking they dont deserve each other. Theyâre together-but-not together. Itâs that kind of sex where Tony is constantly saying « This can never happen again. » afterward, but they keep letting it happen again and again. Peter is sure Tony could never love him, that heâs just using him for sex. Itâs destroying the boyâs heart hard but at least itâs something. Itâs better to have sex with Tony than nothing, right ? So he keeps coming back, he keeps letting the man fuck him and he keeps refraining himself from saying I love you every time Tony fucks him. And if he cries, Peter always says itâs because itâs overwhelming and not because his heart is crushing inside him. On the other way, Tony thinks the kid just has that weird daddy kink phase. That heâs misinterpreting worship with love. Tony is just trying to get away from Peter, all the time. Because he canât do this. He knows heâs falling for Peter. He knows what this warm feelings in his chest every time he sees Peter, every time he fucks Peter, is. But they have to stop. Because Tonyâs addict to Peter and soon Peter is gonna realize he doesnât want Tony anymore. But no matter how they try, this, their attraction to each other, that is always stronger than any restriction they desperately try to make.
One day, Peterâs sitting on the couch in the compound. Heâs supposed to be alone there. But then he hears some noises so he turns the tv off and tilts his head towards the sounds. Peter hopes itâs Tony. The boy hasnât seen him today and this may be pathetic but fuck he already misses the man so much. And Peter knows he shouldnât. He knows that whatever is happening between him and Tony isnât that. Itâs not kissing, holding each others hand and waiting for each others at home. Itâs sex. Just sex. And Peter hates it. At first it was awesome. Heaven even. Tony Stark was fucking him. His childhood hero and now-crush was fucking him. He never thought he would have this damn chance in his life. Ever. Peter used to tell himself that this would be enough. That he could live with that, cause that meant he was allowed to touch Tony, to hold him, to have sex with him. And fuck, not that Peter is experimented or anything but damn, Tony is able to make him cum crying in like 3 fucking minutes, the sex is just magic. But as the time passed, Peter realized it wasnât enough. At all. He never been this much in pain. But he canât stop. Heâs in love with Tony. He loves him with all his damn soul, so he canât stop. But keeping this, this is slowly destroying him. At first, they didnât fuck so much. Tony was always trying to stop it, to say they couldnât do that. But now⊠Now itâs almost every night. Every fucking night Tony is taking him in his bed, pinching his nipples, kissing his neck not his lips, Tony never kisses him, touching him, pushing his cock deep in his ass. And every time, Peter ends up crying. Tony thinks itâs because itâs good. It is so good though. And Peter is a cryer, he always has tears in his eyes when Tony makes him cum. But this, this is not tears in his eyes, this is tears rolling down his cheeks, this is him sobbing because his heart is breaking, slowly but surely. Every time they fuck, his heart is tearing appart more and more. The boy wants more, he needs more. He wanna be able to love Tony, he wants Tony to love him just as much. He wants them to cuddle all night, to kiss, to date. He wants to spend the rest of his life with Tony. And he canât have that. But he canât stop the sex either. Because thatâs all he has. And even if itâs hell, he loves it. Heâs gone so far that if they donât fuck, Peter canât sleep.
Anyway, back to the noises. Thanks to Peterâs superhearing, he recognizes Natasha and Steveâs voices. Peter ignores his stomach becoming heavier when he realizes itâs not Tony. But then, what he hears makes him frown.
« Should we tell Peter? », the womanâs voice says.
« Im not sure if this is a good idea. They⊠They looked pretty close lately. We should wait for Rhodeyâs text before doing anything. », Steve answers.
What are they talking about ? Is that about Tony ? A dark feelings settles down Peterâs guts. So he gets up and goes to them. When they both see Peter, they freeze. Okay, this isnât reassuring at all.
« What⊠What were you talking about ? What does Rhodey has to text you ? », he asks, his voice already trembling a little with fears. Did something happen to Tony ?
« Whereâs Tony ? », he asks again, not even waiting for them to answer his first question. When both of their head get down, Peterâs officially worried.
« Listen, Peter, maybe you should-», the blond man begins, but he gets cut.
« Where is Tony ? Did something happened to him ?» His voice already getting louder and higher. Thereâs a silence.
« Answer me! », he snaps. That seems to work because Natasha puts his hand on his arm and finally talks.
« We got a text from Rhodey, he told us Tony got shot. », she says, simply. Thereâs another silence. A loud one. Natâs words hit Peter like a fucking train. His stomach drops. His heart seems suddenly so heavy in his chest.
« Wh⊠Wha- No. What do you mean he- he got sh-shot? », Peter panics, moving back. He feels like he canât breath.
« We didnât want you to be worried, it may not be anything bad. Rhodey isnât answering so Nat and me planned to go check on the hospital. », Steve explains. Peterâs breath is still stuck on his throat.
« Not- Not be anything bad ?! You- He⊠Got shot. Shot. He canât- He canât. Where is he ? » Peterâs voice is frantic, trembling, cutting with shorts breath.
« Hey Peter calm down, okay ? Heâs probably okay, alright ? Me and Steve are gonna check on him, and weâre keeping you updated as soon as we see him, promise. »
« No⊠No, Im- I need-»
« Peter. », Nat calls his name, tightening his hand on Peterâs arm to ground him.
« Let go of me! », he screams suddenly, stepping back even further from them. Then, without even thinking about what heâs doing, Peter actives the nano-wristband and then one second later, the Spiderman suit is on him.
« No, Peter, you should-»
« Shut up! Shut up, shut the fuck up! », he screams again, making them stepping back in shock. But then, Steve grabs Peterâs other arm hard.
« You canât go Peter. Not like this. Just breath, I promise you weâre gonna keep you updated.», he tries. Peter doesnât even say anything, he whines.
« NâŠNoâŠIâŠI need-», but he doesnât finish cause tears are starting to fall down his cheeks. This isnât happening. Tony canât have been shot, he canât. But then the anger hits. Why is Steve holding his arm ?! He jerks away, Steveâs strong, but Peterâs body acting on his own right now, heâs not controlling his strength. And as soon as heâs free from Steveâs grip, he jumps from the nearest window. He weakly hears Steve and Natasha calling for his name, but he doesnât give a damn fuck about them right now.
Peterâs head is just screaming Tonyâs name over and over again. And while he swings from buildings to buildings, his mind is racing with pictures of Tony laying unconscious on a hospital bed. Or worst, laying dead. Tears are wetting his cheeks and his breath is cut by sobs he canât contain. He narrowly misses getting crushed by several buildings on his way but again, he doesnât care.
When Peter finally enters the hospital, the fear is eating him up, the cold feelings is swallowing him whole. Heâs a second away from throwing up in the middle of the hospital. The boyâs body is walking on his own, desperately searching for Rhodey. Peter wants to die. If something happened to Tony, he feels like heâs gonna kill himself. He canât-
Seconds pass like hours and when he finally see the man, he practically jumps him.
« Peter ? What are you doing here? », Rhodey questions, surprised to see the young boy here.
« Rh-Rhodey, wh- fuck. To-Tony. Is-Is he okay ? Please, please, t-tell me he didnât-», he tries to speak but canât manage to form a proper sentence.
« Wow wow wow, Peter, breath, okay. Tonyâs here. Heâs okay. Heâs not- The bullet touched his ribs but nothing else okay. Do you hear what Im saying to you ? Tonyâs fine. » Rhodeyâs words take forever to settle in Peterâs brain but when they finally do, Peterâs legs just stop supporting him and he falls on the ground. He canât say anything. He canât answer Rhodey. Something so warm is bursting everywhere in his body. Tonyâs okay. Tonyâs not dying. Heâs okay. His brain his repeating over and over
« Jeez, Peter. », Rhodey swears, trying to get him up again. When Peterâs up, they stare for a bit, without saying anything and Peter burst into tears.
« Th-Thank you⊠Fuck thank you. », he cries, the heavy worry leaving his body. Rhodey hugs the boy, whispering him itâs okay.
« Can⊠Can I see him please ? », he asks finally. Rhodey signs.
« Not yet, heâs in the operating room. But they said heâs gonna wake up soon. Do you want to wait for him ? »
« Yes. », he answer firmly. Of course he is gonna wait.
« Okay, follow me. »
Peter doesnât answer. His mind is blank. Fuck, he got so scared. Rhodey leads him to an empty hospital bedroom. They stay silent while waiting. Peter is lost in his thoughts. He thinks⊠He thinks what would have he done if something did really happen to Tony ? He stops, feeling the urge to throw up again. He canât think about that. Tonyâs okay. Suddenly Rhodeyâs phone rings. Itâs Natasha. The man answers and goes out of the bedroom. Peter just hears him saying that Tony is fine and Peter is with him. When Rhodey comes back, he stares at Peter.
« You kinda scared them. Steve and Natasha. » Peter doesnât even answer. He shrugs. How could they think he was gonna stay calm ? Itâs Tony they were talking about.
Something like an hour passes before the door of the room is opening again. Peterâs stomach drops again. A doctor is pulling a rolling bed and Tonyâs in the bed. Tony is in the bed, with the eyes open. And again, he canât help it. He starts crying.
Suddenly, Tony eyes are all on him. His jaw clenches a bit. Rhodey whispers heâs glad to see him and then he heads back, with the doctor, to talk about Tonyâs state. and to leave them alone.
« Pete⊠», Tony starts but he doesnât add anything. Peter wants to hug him. He wants it so hard. But Tony just had a surgery because of a bullet in his ribs, he canât.
« Hey, Peter, stop crying. Im okay, kid. Im okay », he finally adds, his heart hurting from seeing the boy in such state. Peterâs own heart is beating hard in his chest and in his ears. All he can see is Tony. Tony, Tony and Tony. Alive.
« Wha- What happened ? », the boy asks after little time, his voice weak. Tony smiles a bit.
« That was stupid, really. That bullet wasnât meant for me, I just had to do the hero. You know me, kid. I swear Im fine. That hurt like a bitch, but Im okay. Nothing better than a little bullet in the ribs to boost you, right ?», he jokes. Peter keeps starring at him, his heart beating. He doesnât answer anything. Realizing how much the man is important to him. No, realizing how everything the man is to him.
« Câmon kid. Say something. And stop crying. I donât like it. ïżœïżœ he only likes it when they have sex, but seeing Peter looking so broken right now, itâs unbearable really But Peter still stays silent. He tries to wipe away his tears at least. But then, he open his mouth, attempting to say heâs so glad Tonyâs safe and he got so scared to lose him but nothing comes out. The words are getting stuck in his throat.
« Hey, kid. Peter, câmon. Im the one supposed to be down right now, youâre scaring me, say something. »
And suddenly, he bursts : « I love you. »
Thereâs a big silence after that. The words seems to echo against the roomâs walls. Peterâs heart is beating hard, his jaw still clenched. Tonyâs breath stopped working. What ?
« Wh.. What? », he lets out. Peter isnât scared. Not anymore. He thought he lost Tony, he thought he was about to see his dead body. He thought he was never gonna be able to tell the man the way he feels. That was scary.
« I love you. I love you so fucking much. Im in love with you, Tony. »
He says, staring at Tony, his voice shaky but certain. The manâs mind goes blank. Peter what? He-
« You- Excuse me what ? », Tony bugs. He canât be earring that right.
« I thought you were going to die. Nat said- she⊠they said you got shot. Shot. I thought⊠I thought I⊠that you were gonna leave me. I⊠I never wanna feel like that again. Ever. Im- fuck. I told myself youâd die without knowing how I feel about you, not knowing how deep in love I am with you. So now imma say it. Because- Because youâre alive and I love you, Tony. I love you, I love you, I never felt like this before. And⊠And im sorry. Im sorry because now you have to deal with that, because we were having sex and I⊠It wasnât just having sex, for me. You werenât just fucking me. I mean⊠maybe it was that, it was probably that yeah. But I was convincing myself it was more⊠that it... it was us making love. It was you loving me. And it crushed me. It was slowly killing me. But it was nothing compared to how I felt when I arrived to the hospital right now. I was fucking empty, I⊠was so scared. So now imma tell you, because youâre there, youâre not dead, youâre alive and I love you. Every cells of my body loves you, itâs a sickness really. But please Tony⊠even if I know you donât feel the same way, please just donât reject me. I⊠I canât even explain what Im feeling, and Im making myself ridiculous right now donât I ? Youâre not saying anything, why donât you say something ? Please tell me itâs okay, please. Im sorry I never wanted to feel that way but I always had the biggest crush on you and when we started⊠you know. I couldnât help it, I couldnât help that feeling to anchor deep inside me. Im sorry. », he spills, the words just coming out of his mouth without filters. The tears are back on his cheeks, his whole body is trembling. But itâs not fear. Itâs love.
Tonyâs crying too. His brain just stopped working hearing the boyâs words. Fuck, weâre so stupid. he thinks. Theyâre so damn stupid. He had tons of declarations in his life. But that, that he never had. This is indescribable. The feeling inside his body right now is not something he can put words on.
So he just take a big inspiration and whispers Peter to come closer to him. Peter walks toward him and when heâs close enough to Tony, the man just grabs him by the head and kiss him hard. His ribs are hurting like well because heâs moving but he doesnât fucking care. The kiss is heaven. For both of them. Itâs like they never breathed. And now they are. Peterâs surprised but the surprise doesnât last long because of that feeling vibrating inside him. Tonyâs kissing him. Tony never kissed him before. He canât help the little moans coming out and Tony smiles against his lips at that. Fuck, this is so good. Both of their tears are mixing up, making the kiss wet. When the kiss ends, they both stare at each other in the eyes, in the deepest of their soul.
« Wha.. What was that for ? », Peter asks, whispering, his voice trembling, scared heâll ruin the moment. But he needs to know .
« That, was my way of telling you I wasnât planning on leaving you, Peter. Im sorry you thought I was gonna die. I canât do promises I canât keep, but I swear Imma do my best. For the said two Avengersâs genius, we both were damn idiots. Because... I love you too, Peter. Of course I love you. How could I not ? Just look at you, baby. And look at me. Im as deep in love with you as you are. Maybe more. You know how I am, always screwing things up. Im sorry I didnât see it sonner, Pete. I thought it was just a worshiping thing, I thought you were gonna find someone your age and stop what we had. I.. I restrained myself to hold you, Im so sorry, baby. But from now on- from now on, Im not gonna restrain anymore. I love you, kid. But letâs make things right, alright ? I know Iâve been the worst mentor slash maybe boyfriend ever but let me make it up to you, huh ? Let me take you to the best restaurants I know and- I mean as soon as Im free from this hell of a place- and just let me take care of you, first. », Tony admits, his voice soft and his chest just bursting with love for that sweet perfect thing in front of him. But then he frowns when he sees the boy starting to cry again. His heart sinks.
« Shit, what- what did I do ? What are you crying again, Peter ? », he asks, but Peter just laugh, crying at the same time. Tony let the breath he was holding, seeing Peter is laughing.
« N-No, itâs just.. Im⊠Im so happy right now, Tony. I think Iâve never been this happy.» Warm loveâs swallowing Tony entirely.
« I love you, kid. »
#starker#peter parker x tony stark#ironspider#tony stark x peter parker#tony stark/peter parker#peter parker/tony stark#leah writes sometimes
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Home is you - Ulquiorra Schiffer
"Hello? Hello~" (Your Name) sings shaking the pale man up from his sleep.
Opening his eyes slowly he blinked a few times looking at his surroundings. "Where am I? Why aren't I in los noches?"
"Jeez you creep! Don't go sleeping around the park like that! I know Japan is safe but I thought you were dead for a second." She says sighing in relief offering a hand.
Ulquiorra slaps her hand away and gets up realizing he wasn't in his uniform but some random t shirt and jeans.
"What have you done women?"
"Me?! I woke you up. That's what I did now, do you have someone you should be? It's getting late."
Looking around he couldn't sense any reistu, he couldn't bring his sword out or use cero. Till he remembered his fight with Ichigo. Ulquiorra remember dissolving into nothing.
"I-I don't understand." He stuttered, frustrated at the emotions he was feeling at the moment. He was lost, why was he here? Was he reborn a human? But why did he remember everything of his past life. ïżŒ
A salty tear slipped in his lips as he touched his face confused. "Is this the human emotion of feeling frustrated? Feeling hopeless? Powerless?"
"I'm sorry. Do you need a place to stay?" (Your Name) asks more sympathetically watching the man breakdown in front of her.
The walk to a capsule hotel was quiet, she was surprise he asked for help. "I paid for you. I hope you find your way after tonight." She tells him as he looks into nothing and says nothing before taking his leave.
(Your Name) watches his back and sighs. "Maybe he's homeless?"
Ulquiorra laid in the comfy bed lost in thoughts, what had happen to the war? To Ichigo? To Aizen?
Why did he have to be reincarnated as a weak human?
"So this is human emotions?" He says out loud looking at himself in the mirror. He examined his face, was he always this pale and fragile looking?
Pissed he hit the capsule and nothing broke.
He was weak now, weak in mind and powerless.
He didn't know how he was going to survive.
It had been a few days and (Your Name) walked around trying to find the man. She felt a attraction towards him, like she was suppose to help him. She had no luck the past few days trying to find him.
"You have to pay for that thief!" A sales man yelled shoving Ulquiorra out his store.
"I'll kill you stupid human." He says in a monotone voice and raised his finger to use cero but nothing came out.
"You need help man!" The sales man yelled walking away in disbelief as Ulquiorra stared at his finger.
(Your Name) sighed in relief and ran towards him. "Hey! It's you again. What are you doing?"
"Trying to survive." He plainly says walking away still wearing the same clothes she saw him in the day they met.
"How do you plan on surviving with no job?" She asks following him as he walked to random places and examining people. "You will help me find one."
"Me?!"
"As you can tell women I'm not like you humans."
Bewildered a bit she pinched her nose bridge and sighed. "That's what I get for helping a weirdo."
"What do I get if I help you?"
"My protection." He simply says, even though his powers were gone he still was skilled with hand to hand compact.
"Just don't do anything stupid." She says as he follows her.
It was a very interesting few months that passed by, she never understood a lot of things Ulquiorra did.
He lacked a lot of empathy and emotions. He questioned what people did and enjoyed examining strangers on the street. He didn't speak much either.
He also became her protector.
"What is this manga that people are so crazy about?" He asks her one day as they sat and ate breakfast.
"As an manga artist and author it's my job to make my books into a reality. It gives people a sense of escape of our miserable lives." She says shooing him away from her work.
"Humans are weird." He simply says watching the news as she rolled her eyes.
"You know you're a human too?" She states to him and sighs.
"I am now."
There was a silence as she looked at him. He was a bit odd at first. She had to teach how to read, write and proper manners. She never questioned him though.
"So what were you before then?"
"Espada. I was an Espada."
"Huh a what?" She asks a bit taken back and lost.
"I don't know how to be thankful." He then says changing the subject as she sits across from him.
His eyes were green and he did have weird green marks on his face. "I'm starting to believe this guy."
"It's okay. I understand." She tells him as he looks at her with no smile or anything. His face was blank, she couldn't read him.
She knew he was thankful when he learned how to pick up humanity. He would pick up food for them, clean the house and when the rare opportunity comes he would beat up any stalker fans she had.
"I don't know who you were before but I promise you I'm here to help."
It was a cold winter night as they came back from Christmas shopping and picking her up from work, Ulquiorra was holding the bags as she rambled on how work went that day.
Ulquiorra wouldn't admit it but he had grown fond of her after spending everyday together. At first he has no choice to. He had no money or no home but she provided everything for him.
He would find himself smiling softly but frown after realizing what he had done.
"How was your day?" She asks him with a smile as his eyes widen a bit.
"I read books." He answered as she nodded her head.
Ulquiorra never really left the house unless he needed to. She had to admit it was comforting coming home to someone every night.
"I bought you new ones. I hope you like that."
"I enjoy all the books you've bought me." He says looking forwards at the snowing street.
She gasp a bit as he looked a way a bit confused. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No I'm just happy. Happy your expressing your emotions more."
He didn't say anything afterwards as she entered the warm house and set the gifts under the tree.
"I'm going to get some rest." He says and leaves to his room.
Before she could ask if he ate she saw that he had food already made for her.
"He sure is a fast learner for not being human."
Ulquiorra escaped to his room and laid in bed. He really was growing emotions, the more he stayed here the more he felt every emotions.
The emotions of pain, loneliness, sadness.
Recently he didn't feel any of those he felt happy, safe, secure. Was this the human way of saying he was satisfied of his life right now.
He didn't know but he felt a comfort of having someone by him at times. Unlike los noches, he was alone and don't know how to talk to people.
(Your Name) gave him a sense of living again and he would try to fit in this world. There was no way he could change the past so he decided might as well live for the future.
It was weird for Ulquiorra to have these thoughts, it was a new thing to him.
Before he lived for nothing but killing.
"What did you do before becoming human?" She asks him one night as they watched a movie. Well she had to force him to watch it.
"Kill."
"Okay? More explanation."
"I was created to kill, that was my only purpose in life. My home had nothing but sand and a moon."
"What did you eat?"
"My people."
She wanted to not believe him but every word he said were straightforward and he never blinked once. He didn't tell lies to her. "Interesting. So what happen? Did you get eaten or die?"
"I lost in a battle and disappeared into dust and I woke up here."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" He asks curiously a bit taken back from her words.
"I don't know you don't seem happy here."
He blinked a few times and tried his best to smile but it didn't come along. "I am satisfied as you humans say."
She sighed in relief and sadly smiled. She never really given the thought of being somewhere new with no one and not being able to fit in.
"I realize how hard it must have been for you, when people call you strange and treat you like an outcast. It must have been hard."
Ulquiorra sits with his legs crossed and tilted his head giving it thought.
"I don't need anyone if I have you."
There was a mutual understanding between the two even though words of expression were rarely ever spoken.
"I'm really glad to have you." She answered back feeling the warmth of her cheeks turn pink.
"As I am too."
(Your Name) had gone to a late meeting with a few of her editors and seeing it was past midnight she didn't wanna wake ulquiorra up from sleep to walk her home.
She lived in a nice part of Tokyo but in a quiet area so people rarely ever walked on her road.
It was raining hard as she made cover underneath a store. Sighing she pulled her phone out and tried to speed dial Ulquiorra number before a loud rumbled hit the floor and she looked up to see a hollow.
At first she didn't wanna believe it but the thing was real and screaming walking towards her.
"(Your Name)."
"Ulquiorra- there's a, there's a monster charging towards me."
The phone line went dead as he rushed out to find her.
Running in the rain he spotted the hollow immediately. "Don't get any closer to her trash." He spoke as it roared.
Ulquiorra had lost all his powers but luckily he knew some move although none of it worked as he was easily slapped away as he hit the floor hard and he groaned.
"This human body is pathetic."
Watching the hollow grab (Your Name) he felt every emotion go through him. The pain, sadness, frustration. She was screaming as she reached out her hand to his.
He called out her name and whined in pain before blacking out.
"Ulquiorra!" She yelled to him but he didn't respond. Looking back at the hollow it open it's mouth to consume her as she shut her eyes a green light was glowing around her.
"I told you I would protect you." He says to her as she opened her eyes to see him in a white uniform and he was standing on air. STANDING ON AIR!
With one smack the hollow diminished into nothing as Ulquiorra settled her down safely on the road.
"You. You got your power back! How?"
Ulquiorra thought back about his fight and realized the same thing happen to Ichigo and he finally understood why he came back.
"Someone important to me is worth protecting." He reply's as she tears up and hugged him tightly as he gasped.
Sadly smiling to himself where no one could see him he embraced her back.
"Ulquiorra?" She asks him that same night as they sat on the roof top and he was still in gear. "Yes?"
"Does this mean you are leaving?"
He doesn't answer and looks down. He thinks back on how life was here in the human world. It was quite fun here. He didn't remember what he did back in the barren sand and dark night.
"No. Unless I have to."
She sighed in relief but still she knew he was different. "Just promise me, if you ever decide to leave... you will without telling me goodbye."
"I won't leave. I have no reason to go back." He plainly says looking up to the moon.
"You promise me? I can't imagine a life without you, the way you are eases me is comforting. Your the peace I needed in my chaotic mind."
He was lost for words, was this a human way for showing love?
"I to."
He wanted to say more. He liked her. Loved her. Even if he wouldn't admit it now, there was a warmth in him he had never felt before and the feeling of being needed was something he might have yearned for.
"I promise you, I'm only yours. Even if there's a obstacle between us there's way we can break it."
She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder as he stiffen a bit and then relaxed.
He was home. Home wasn't a place for him but someone that accepted him for who he was.
It was you.
(Author note: idk why he's such a hard character to write for me. I know he seemed oc but I put in some thought of how he would be as a human.)
#bleach#tite kubo#bleach x reader#bleach oneshots#bleach oneshot#bleach ulquiorra#ulquiorra cifer#ulquiora schiffer#bleach imagines#bleach imagine#ulquiorra
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Rewind Chapter 7 - Mistakes are Made
Oh jeez, I mean to post this days ago but I totally forgot! Whoops.
As you might have noticed, updates are coming pretty slow at the moment. This fic is getting hard to write, due to personal circumstances and shifting hyperfixations, but I will continue it once Iâm able to get invested again. Until then, updates will probably be slow. Rest assured, this fic will be completed!
Hope you guys enjoy this chapter :)
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After a few more necessary hours of sleep, which for Ford were deep and dreamless, the construction itself began in two different corners of the lab. On one side Fiddleford dove into making a working prototype of the gun, while on the other side Ford began cooking up ammunition.
Few things could kill a dream demon. Protective unicorn magic could halt one, and the right concoction of ingredients could harm one, but working together they might just be able to kill one. Therein lay the rub â how could the two be combined into a single shot? Luckily, Ford didnât have his three PHDs for nothing, and he was nothing if not persistent.
:readmore:
By mid-morning he had worked out the necessary ratio of ingredients for the most effective attack power. By afternoon he had created the first prototype, and by late afternoon he had a dish full of them.
The final bullet design had a pill-like appearance, spherical in shape and filled to the brim with cloudy, iridescent magic. They made a glass-like tinkering noise as they dropped into their dish. Ford took a pair of tweezers and lifted one to the light, admiring its shine.
âThat looks cool.â Stan said hesitantly from behind him â how long had Stan been being him? Ford yelped and fumbled, nearly dropping the capsule. âSorry.â
âDonât sneak up on me when Iâm working!â Ford snapped. He hurriedly placed the ammunition back on its tray before it could get broken and turned to frown at his brother. Stan, for his part, looked suitably ashamed. âWhat are you doing down here anyway? I told you, youâre not allowed in the lab.â
âI know, I know!â Stanâs shoulders were around his ears and creeping steadily higher with each second that passed. âJust â I thought you and Fidds would be hungry? Youâve been doing your science thing for ages and I made food, soâŠâ
âOh.â For the first time, Ford comprehended the tray in his brotherâs hands. âWell, thank you. Youâre still not supposed to be down here though.â
Stan stood on his tiptoes to lift the tray onto Fordâs workbench. The normally exuberant boy seemed unusually down, stepping back and rubbing his arm after placing down his load, and a twinge of guilt went through Ford. Okay, maybe a little more than a twinge. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
âLook â Stanley. I need to apologize for my behaviour earlier. I shouldnât have gotten short with you.â
Stan shrugged and did not meet his eyes. Ford crouched to be at his brotherâs level.
âI. Um, those dreams you told me about. Did you have any more last night?â
Stan stared at his feet and mumbled, âNo.â
Ford took a deep breath, but before he could speak Fiddleford called out from across the lab.
âStanford, I could use a hand over here!â
Ford straightened and hurried over to where his partner was soldering parts together. The gun was beginning to take shape on his workbench â maybe the size of a small hunting rifle but thicker, runes scratched into every inch of shiny metal and shimmering with Bill-proof magic. Fiddleford lifted his soldering mask to wipe his damp forehead.
âI already added yer magic wards and the last of that shiny hair stuff, anâ I gotta finish the magazine. Hold the thing steady for me, will ya? Itâs delicate and weâre all outta unicorn hair to make another one, so for godâs sake be careful.â
âOf course.â Ford slipped on a pair of heat-proof gloves and steadied the rifle while Fiddleford lined up the parts. He made sure to avert his eyes from the glow of white-hot metal as his friend worked.
âWatcha doing?â Stanley called from across the lab.
âAttachinâ the last piece.â Fiddleford called back, not taking his eyes off the rifle. âDonât get to close, or ya might get burned.â
âWhat bit is that?â
âItâs where the ammunition is stored.â Fiddleford explained.
âOh! Like the shiny things Ford made?â
âExactly.â
Once the soldering was complete Fiddleford lifted his mask to inspect the job, squinting through his glasses. He nodded to himself.
âCould use a bit aâ fine-tuning, but Iâd call that almost done.â
Footsteps sounded as Stanley approached cautiously. Fiddleford grinned at the child, who stretched onto his tiptoes to see the project. âWhaddya think?â
Stanâs eyes lit up. âThat looks so cool! This Bill guy isnât gonna know what hit âim!â He looked between Ford and Fiddleford. âWhaddya do with it now?â
âWe gotta make sure everythinâ runs smoothly before anything.â Fiddleford pulled off his soldering mask and wiped his sweaty brow. âFord, would ya get the ammunition? Once this thing cools down I wanna make sure the dimensions are right.â He began pulling off his thick gloves.
âI can do that!â Stan scurried over to Fordâs workbench, ignoring Fordâs cry. He grabbed the dish of capsules and trotted back with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever playing fetch. Ford let out a hiss.
âBe careful with those!â He snatched them from his brotherâs hands, heart racing. The ammunition seemed unharmed, but you could never be too careful, especially when there was a child around. Especially when there was Stanley around. He acted so thoughtlessly sometimes, that was the reason Ford hadnât allowed him down here in the first place!
Stan looked sufficiently ashamed. âSorry, Ford.â
Ford placed the bullets down very carefully next to the cooling rifle. âWhy donât you go upstairs? This is delicate work.â
âBut you guys seem really busy. I can help!â
âNo, Stan. This is very important work and you might break something.â
âNo, but Iâm good at stuff!â Stan protested. âI can carry stuff, and punch people, and get unicorn hair! I can be useful. You wanna move this to a bigger table? I can do it, see?â And to Fordâs horror he grabbed the gun off the table. Ford snatched for it, but Stan had already yelped as his bare hands came into contact with scorching metal and the rifle slipped from his grip.
Fiddleford dove to catch it. He crashed chest-first into the ground and only barely managed to snag it before it was dashed against the floor as well. The ammunition was not so lucky â the dish overturned in the scuffle and pellets skittered every which way, disappearing under surfaces and around shoes. Stan fumbled to try and collect them, but he was only making it worse, knocking them away in his panic.
âSorry, sorry sorry sorry-â
âI said no!â Ford roughly grabbed his brotherâs arm and yanked him away from the workspace, ignoring Stanâs yelp. âEvery time, every time I think weâre past this you just have to go and mess everything up again! Are you not capable of doing what I say for once in your life and just leaving well enough alone? I told you not to touch anything! You could well have destroyed our one chance at getting rid of Cipher once and for all!â
âIâm sorry, okay?!â Stan whined and tried to pull away â dodging responsibility once again, just like always. Ford growled and held him in place.
âNow, Stanley, youâ quit squirming! â you will sit down and be quiet and not touch anything else, is that understood?â
âFord, leggo!â Stan squeaked.
âYou are to stay away from Fiddleford and I while we work. I will not have you sabotaging me again, not like you did at the science fair-â
Stan punched him in the face.
It was a weak blow from a tiny fist â it barely hurt â but the shock at having his brother strike him made Ford freeze. Stan ripped from his grip and stumbled back with a whimper that sounded dangerously like a sob.
âŠoh.
Ford didnât even have to look at his brotherâs pale, tearstained face to realize that he had, perhaps, gone a little overboard.
âStanley-â Ford couldnât think of anything to say. What was there to say? Stan looked terrified, and Ford supposed he cut a rather intimidating figure to such a small person. He reached out but Stan jerked away violently from his hand.
Why wasnât Stan getting mad at him in return? The Stan Ford knew would have yelled right back. Ford could handle anger, but he had no idea how to handle fear.
âStan, Iâm sorry, I shouldnât haveâŠâ
He reached out again, helplessly. The instant his fingertips touched Stanâs shoulder the child recoiled, throwing his hands up as if to defend himself. But surely he knew Ford would never hurt him?
âNo! No no no donât touch me leave me alone! Go away! I hate you and I donât ever wanna see you again go away!â
Ford flinched, and Stan took the opportunity to spin on his heel and bolt for the stairs. Ford froze, torn between chasing after him and staying to clean up the mess.
âFord, a little help!â Fiddleford yelped, and Ford made up his mind. He whipped around and hurried to help his friend lift the rifle back onto his workbench. As he took the weight of the rifle Fiddleford snatched his hands back, wincing at the bright red burns that seared across his palms. âOuch.â
Ford was careful to keep away from the hot section of metal as he lifted the gun back onto the table. When it was secure he was finally able to take a breath and turn to his friend.
âFiddleford, are you alright?â
âAhâm fine, just gotta get these in some water. Whereâd Stanley go?â
âI â I donât know.â
Fiddlefordâs eyes widened. âIf he goes outside the barrier-â
There were more words, but Ford had stopped processing them. He bolted for the stairs.
 Stan was such an idiot.
He hadnât even stopped to put on shoes before running into the woods, and he already couldnât feel his toes from the stinging cold. Well, who cared anyway? He just had to get away.
Stanâs numb foot caught on a root and sent him hurtling to the ground, grating his face and hands on frigid, snowy dirt. He let out a squeaking wheeze as the air left his squashed lungs, letting out little hitching coughs and sobs as he struggled to regain his breath.
Shut up shut up shut up, stop being such a wimp. He pushed himself up on shaky arms and sniffled, rubbing at his nose with a pathetic whimper.
Okay. So, everything was crashing down around him. That was fine. Everything was just fine. He still had â um.
What did he have?
There was something in his fist. Stan sniffed and uncurled his fingers to reveal a tiny shimmering pearl resting in his palm. He stared at it, blinking tears from his eyes.
âWhat the heck are you?â
Oh, wait. It was one of Fordâs bullet things. Stanâs grip tightened around it, that stupid little ball that was so important to his brother.
He placed it on the ground, climbed to his feet, and lifted a foot to stomp down on it.
And hesitated.
Because it was stupid, but Ford seemed to think these were so important, and Stan just couldnât crush something that meant that much to his brother. He hiccupped and growled to himself.
He couldnât do it.
Stan shoved it in his pocket and headed further into the woods.
 Stan wasnât in the house.
A quick, desperate search revealed Fordâs home empty. Luckily a fresh layer of snow lay on the ground outside â a trail of footprints disappeared into the woods and he bolted after them, snatching his coat on his way out. Of all the places to go! The forest wasnât safe, Ford had to get his brother back inside the barrier where Bill couldnât reach them-
His foot slipped on wet snow.
Ford barely had time to flail before his legs slipped from under him and his head hit a tree trunk with a decisive clunk.
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love-e.pettersson
ive been working on this for a few days and im kinda proud of it! would love some feedback from you or requests for other story lines, i promise iâll stop doing the friends to lovers storylines haha. i also accidentally deleted this and i was so sacred i couldnt get it back but here it is! i hope you enjoy.
*lowercase intended!*
2.2k words
he loves you, you know that right?
âwhy did you drag me here, i really donât like hockey and you know that.â you said as you sighed to your bestfriend lucie while she pulls you down to your seats in rogers arena.Â
âi know you donât.â lucie said with a bright smile on her face. âbut, youâre gonna learn to like it.â you look at her in confusion. âso, this is your way of torturing me as if you donât already torture me enough by bringing me to parties.â you said while sitting down and looking at the players who are starting to get on the ice. âmaybe.â lucie said with a wide grin and a mischievous look on her face before puck drop starts.
youâve never been big on hockey, which is surprising considering you have lived in vancouver your whole life and your family is super big hockey fans. you also aren't the most extroverted person. sure, youâd go out to bars sometimes but mostly just with your close friends.
âwhat part of this sport do you even like?â you said as the game is going into the third period the canucks are now up 4-1 against the opposing team which you donât even really know who they are. âwell, if Iâm being honest some of them are really hot but mostly cause of the sport.â you scoffed at her response. ânone of them are hot from where i can see.â lucie looked at you with a shocked look. âoh youâll get it once you get to know the players more.â you give her a confused look and put your full attention back to the game.
-
canucks ended up winning the game 5-2, lucie was very happy about it and you could tell cause she wanted to go out for a couple drinks and you didnât want to say no so you agreed to go.
you had been at the bar for about twenty minutes and lucie was already gone which isnât surprising, she was probably sleeping with some guy right now.
you started to panic a little when a creepy old dude came up to you and started hitting on you. âhey pretty girl, want to come home with me?â he started putting his hand on your arm which was resting on the table. you look around for lucie in panic but sheâs no where to be found.Â
you then feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist and you get even more freaked out.Â
âhey babe, sorry i was gone for so long.â elias says to you with a smile but then proceeds to give the creepy dude the alien death stare which worked. after the dude leaves elias faces you and starts speaking. âsorry i touched you like that, it looked like you were alone and that guy was creeping you out so i thought you could use some help.â he shoots an apologetic smile at you.Â
âits okay,â you give him a smile back. âthank you a lot actually, i have no idea where my friend went.â you take another look around the bar before looking back and him.Â
âiâm elias by the way.â he smiles at you while holding his hand out for you to shake it. ây/n.â you say before shaking his hand.Â
âso elias, what are you doing in this bar on a thursday night?â you gesture for him to sit down next to you. âif i told you, you wouldnât believe me.â elias lets out a soft laugh while sitting down across from you. âtell me, i wanna know.â elias sighs lightly before he starts speaking again. âiâm with them,â he gestures over to brock, jake, quinn, thatcher and troy. you look over to see them all waving at you and laughing at elias, you laugh softly and wave back at the before turning your attention back to elias. âah, so iâm guessing youâre on the canucks?â
elias lets out a nervous laugh. âyeah, why donât we go somewhere else where the boys arenât up my ass?â you take another sip out of your drink. âi would love to.â he holds out his hand for you and as you guys walk out you can hear the guys chirping, but when you look over to elias you can see him giving the death stare to the boys and it makes you laugh. âyou have a scary death stare jeez.â elias leads you to his car. âthatâs surprisingly what the fans love me for.â he smiles at you before opening the carÂ
door for you.
-
ââŠand thatâs all what led me to being on the canucks.â elias said to you while eating a chip out of the chip bowl you had prepared. it had been a couple hours since you guys left the bar and went back to your apartment, you donât know why but it felt like you and elias had such a strong bond already that you both felt like you can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other, he felt the same way too. âjeez, i kinda sound like a douche. iâve been talking about myself all night, please tell me more about you.â elias said to you while you laughed at his words.Â
âitâs all good, iâve been the one asking questions anyways.â you smiled while responding to him. âno seriously, tell me something about you before i have to go which i really donât want to by the way.âÂ
you look at the time and realize its almost twelve am so you proceed to give him a quick response. âwell, iâve lived in vancouver my whole life. and iâm currently going to ubc as a nursing student.â you smiled at his now very amused face.Â
âsee, thatâs something i wouldnât have known if you didnât say it,â he laughs a little before he finishes his sentence. âcan i get your number? i have practice early tomorrow morning but iâm free for the rest of the day if you want to hang out.âÂ
you smile at his words and take his phone from him. âof course you can, iâm free tomorrow too just give me a call.â you said while handing his phone back to him after youâve entered your number. elias gives you a wide grin and you both get up so you could walk him to the door. âgoodnight elias.â you look up at him with a smile as heâs standing in the doorway. âgoodnight y/n, sweet dreams.â he said and then started to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. âpettersson!â you called out at him and he turns around confused. âtext me when you get home.â he gives you the thumbs up and you close your door and head to bed.Â
no ones ever shown this much attention to elias before, at least no one heâs truly cared about.Â
he smiled to himself on his drive home cause he was excited to text you again.
*contact name changed to ây/n<3â*Â
text message to y/n<3:i just got home, thank you for the awesome night :).
-
itâs been a couple weeks since you and elias had met at the bar, you basically hung out with each other anytime you could.Â
you were each others best friends at this point, sure the guys would make fun of elias for being in love with you but you couldnât see it, elias knows he has some feelings for you but he wasnât sure about it yet. he also didnât want to risk the amazing friendship you guys had started.
âhey, are you coming to the game tonight?â elias asked over the phone to you.
you let out a sigh before you start speaking. âiâll try, schools been really hard lately but i should be able to finish studying tonight.â elias could hear the tiredness in you voice and it hurt him to see you like this. ây/n, its okay. you donât have to try and make it, focus on school its way important. you have many more games of mine that you can watch.â he left out a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence.Â
âiâll still try though, iâll give you a text if i can make it.â you said to him as you looked at the last large text book you had to read through and look at the giant pile of coffee cups surrounding your desk.Â
âokay, love you, i gotta go.â âlove you too e, good luck.â you both quickly exchanged goodbyes as you started reading your last text book. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to make it to his game tonight and you felt really bad, you sighed it off as you put your attention back to studying and occasionally looking at the canucks game that was now playing on your tv.
-
the game had ended, canucks lost by one but petey is a sore loser so obviously he was sad, which made him show up at your apartment, he brought pizza from your favourite place downtown.
you were passed out on the couch though, which resulted in elias having to pull out his spare key and sneaking into your apartment.
âelias?â you mumbled out as you felt him sit next to where you were laying on the couch, he motioned for you to lay you head on his lap and you did.
âhey sleepy girl, i brought our favourite pizza.â he said to you with a smile. no matter how bad of a day elias was having, you could always make him smile.
you positioned your head so youâre now facing up at him and you give him a big smile. âthank you, can we snuggle and watch a movie?â elias starts rubbing your cheek softly. âof course we can y/n.â
the night ended with you and elias falling asleep on the couch together while watching a movie he had picked out, you both forgot about all the stress from today and just enjoyed the moment.
-
âhe loves you, you know that right?â brock said to you as he came by and sat next to you.
it was the start of summer, tanev decided to host a little barbecue for the whole team before everyone left vancouver and went back to their home towns for the summer.
you were sitting in the backyard watching elias talk to huggy. âwhat?â you said to brock with confusion. âno he doesnât.â
brock scoffed at your response. âdude, you canât be serious. how do you not see it.â
you thought about what brock said for awhile before you gave him a response. âdoes he talk about me?â you looked at brock while taking a sip of your drink.Â
âdoes he talk about you? of course he fucking does y/n, all the time. especially when you donât show up to our games, itâs worse when weâre on the road.âÂ
you smile to yourself at what brock said.
-
you were quite tipsy by the end of the night and elias didnât want to let you go home alone, so you spent the night at his place.
âelias?â you said in your sweet drunken tone as you both settled into his bed, and you faced your body in his direction.Â
âyes?â he said while playing with your hair softly.Â
âbrock said something to me earlier,â you said while pulling your body close to his.
 âof course he did,â he said with a sigh. âwhatâd he say this time?âÂ
âapparently you talk about me a lot?â you said with a soft laugh and your fingers now tracing up and down his back.
âyeah, yeah i do. i talk shit about you all the time.â he says sarcastically knowing where this conversation was going.
âhey!â you said as you playfully punched him. âi was going to do something but i guess not anymore.â you said with a huff.
he lifts your chin up to face him. before you knew it you guys were kissing each other, it was a soft, long and sweet kiss.
elias pulled away with a big grin on his face and you did too. you talked to each other for the rest of the night, you ended up falling asleep before elias did but he did too shortly after.
you woke up to the smell of elias making waffles, you hugged him from behind and he didnât even notice you were awake until you did that.
âit smells really good,â you said to elias before kissing his cheek and begging for him to hug you.Â
he pulls you into his grip and whispers in your ear. âdo you wanna go to sweden with me for the summer?â
you look up at him with slight shock. âyeah, why not.â you said to him with a smile and he gets very excited and spins you around, you kiss for awhile until you smell something burning and you pull away.
âshit.â elias mumbles as he deals with the burnt waffles and youâre both laughing your asses off.
#elias pettersson#elias pettersson x reader#elias pettersson imagine#petey#pettersson#nhl canucks#vancouver canucks#canucks hockey#canucks#vancouver canucks x reader#nhl#nhl imagine#nhl hockey
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kys. magoa (pt. 1) [f/a]
(n.) a heart breaking feeling that leaves long-lasting traces, visible in gestures and facial expressions
tw; mention of violence
word count; 966 (i added a word count bc this is pretty lengthy, but i might start doing it regularly <3)
you promised me you wouldnât get hurt this time
...sorry
it was late. way too late for you to be up and even later for you to be patching up your best friendâs wounds in the middle of your kitchen. being the forever best friend of a notorious mafia leader was stressful to say the least. he made sure to never involve you in his business and constantly made sure your identity would stay hidden for your safety. and his sanity. it didnât mean you were exempt from playing nurse every so often. even when you guys had the off chance of hanging out, it felt almost taboo at times - both of you wearing masks, caps, and sunglasses for added protection. the only place you could truly be yourselves was at your apartment (he claims itâs less likely to be bugged) but you couldnât complain. you knew that if you ever needed him he would be there for you in a heartbeat. maybe thatâs why you havenât left him to live the mafia life alone. because you kept him human.
you hear a sharp hiss as you take the alcohol pad off his face, his face contorted in a grimace.Â
if getting hurt less means i wonât have to deal with this blaring pain, i will 100% do it
really? thatâs why youâd stop getting hurt?
....and because you asked me to
you smiled at him as you rummage through your first aid kit to apply a bandaid to his wound. to his distaste, the only bandaids left were paw patrol ones that your nephew demanded you buy. you donât notice him staring at you as you struggle to peel the paper off the adhesive. cute, he thinks.Â
youâre finally able to get the bandaid off and you place it above his eyebrow, smoothening it out and trying to avoid any eyebrow hairs that may get caught underneath. he sees you stick your tongue out slightly in concentration as he lifts his hand up to your forehead.
stop furrowing your eyebrows so much. youâre gonna get wrinkles like that
itâs not like youâd stop loving me if i got wrinkles
youâre right, but that wouldnât stop me from calling you grandma either
you retaliate with a soft punch to his arm to which he grabs dramatically and pretends to cry.
how dare you! you canât hit a wounded patient! im suing you
you rolled your eyes and laughed at him.Â
youâre so dumb
watch out before i sue you for emotional pain too
you walk away but not before he hops off the counter to squeeze you tightly. you feel his nose tickle the back of your neck as you hear a soft âthank you againâ being mumbled into your skin. he wasnât one much for affection so you basked in the few seconds he was giving you. you softly pinch his arm as you hum back at him, your silent version of a âyouâre welcomeâ.Â
his arms slide off from around you as you head towards the cupboard to look for some comfort food. bread and nutella. you grab the toaster and slip two pieces of bread in, pushing the handle down.Â
nowâs the time, you thought to yourself.
so uh yeosang
mm? whatâs up?Â
he rests his elbows on the kitchen island looking at you with concern whilst trying to pick apart your body language. youâd known each other forever. he could tell from the smallest tell tale sign what was running in your brain and judging from your crossed arms and gaze set on the floor, he knew you were going to tell him something serious.
um...okay...so...uh thereâs this dude
yeosang felt his heart drop to the floor. of course there was. nevermind that heâs been in love with you for the past year, but has just never confessed out of fear of someone harming you. now heâs simply never going to get the chance. he was your best friend though. so he did what best friends did.
mmm...i see...tell me about him
he noticed the blush starting to creep on your face. i should be the one making you do that. his mind was swirling with jealousy, heartbreak, and anger. all things he hopes werenât showing up in his facial expressions as you went on.
heâs super super sweet and kind. and really really handsome too. i met him when school started so like...5 months ago? and we were partnered up for this project because we were in the same class. honestly, i didnât really like him at first but he grew on to me. kinda like your typical enemies to lovers story, but i didn't ever think that would happen to me. so...yeah. youâre actually the first person to know. you know. since youâre my best friend and all
more than ever, he despised that title.Â
no yeah totally. iâm glad you were confident enough to tell me. he reached over the island to squeeze your hand and plaster a smile on his face. jeez kang, that smile couldnât be any faker.
thank you for hearing me out. seriously i appreciate it. i want you to meet him really bad, i think youâd get along!
woah woah woah, before all that, you havenât even told me his name yet.
oh yeah sorry. his name is park seonghwa.
...what?
park. seong. hwa.
yeosang couldnât help but stare blankly. his heart was beating 500 beats per minute. you waved your hand in front of yeosangâs face concerned.
...yeo? earth to yeo?
his brain was trying to stop him from making the stupidest decision of his life. because he knew you were happy. you just somehow managed to fall for the mafia leader that killed your best friendâs parents.Â
#WOOO#I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS#pls note i do not condone mafia behavior at all#not good vibes#also im sorry for making seonghwa the bad guy#it was a toss up between 6 other people#but this is my first series#im v excite#ateez#yeosang#kang yeosang#ateez fluff#ateez angst#yeosang fluff#yeosang angst#seonghwa#seonghwa angst#ateez!mafia#mafia!au#tw; violence mention#writingsbyteez
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PLATINUM WEEKEND PLAYLIST
in a spurt of energy i decided to finish the playlist iâd been working on for a while! this turned into a raleigh playlist, and iâm a little sorry about it but not really :/ this playlist is nsfw and all of the descriptions are under the cut! [thereâs a line separating the spanish-language songsâ explanations]
1. anywhere
we can make love on the bedroom / floating on top of my waterbed / i'm kissing you / running my fingers through your hair / in the hallway / making our way beside the stairs / we can do it anywhere
most singers are influenced by their predecessors, so i have no doubt that raleigh listened to old r&b groups and practiced lead vocals, background vocals, & harmonies to them in the shower. this one stands out to me because i think it captures just the right amount of smooth sensual energy that raleigh exudes at all times. 112 is immaculate and no doubt one of raleighâs favs.
2. nasty
promise I'ma give it to you like you never had it / i do it so good, it's gon' be hard to break the habit / you're like a whole constellation / swimming like you on vacation / promise i'm still gonna love you when you wake up in the a.m.
you canât convince me that raleigh didnât listen to arianaâs album when it dropped and went absolutely wide eyed when they heard these lyrics like âshe really went there...â â but then it became a staple of every ~secret playlist to do the horizontal polka to~Â
3. sex money feelings die
all my lights off when i wake up / tears under my makeup / your lips will stay shut / wanna wake up, break up / i don't wanna think about, think about you / drink up, drink up / i'm so fucked up / all i want is you / no, i don't wanna think about, think about you / sex money feelings die / baby don't you cry
so this is the song iâve latched onto for my mc dom. i have a headcanon (i think iâve said it on main a lot, and iâve even made edits for it) that after the breakup, which everyone else thinks is real, but they think is fake, but is actually real, dom drives to the studio super late at night and just belts out the lyrics while sobbing just to get them off of her shoulders. and it accidentally becomes a hit! which makes raleigh feel even more like shitÂ
4. facetime
back up all that shit you talking / facetimin' my baby tonight, oh / bet you wanna cop a feel / bet you wonder if it's real / facetimin' my baby tonight / and when you coming home / i'm gon' give you all of my love / i'm gon' put it on you / i said ooh you a hell of a drug
not to get too in detail but raleigh is an ~active~ individual, so i have no doubt that during long tours, theyâre facetiming mc for some quality time. and this oneâs just sensual and sweet like raleighâs relationship is so! Â
5. only 1
i know all the competition that's after you / so i get to thinking, is this too good to be true? / i can't, be your, only one / no i can't, be your only one / 'cause you look twice as good as anyone i ever met / and your love is three times better / how could anyone forget? / as I'm layin' down, with you every night / it still gets to me, that you remain by my side / i ain't saying that i'm not deservin' of you / but i was dreaming, bigger than i ever knew
raleighâs convinced they donât deserve someone as good as the mc and this for sure seems to be one of those songs that they heard when ariâs album dropped and they were like âjeez this is sappyâ then they turn out to relate to it super hard like the clown they are
6. kissinâ on my tattoos
now i ain't ever been the jealous type of guy / but i want you to myself, i can't lie / i know we ain't on no one on one thing / but baby, it should change / 'cause when i be out with other chicks i be thinking 'bout you / and when you be out on dates you be texting me too / i don't want nobody but you / kissin' on my tattoos / i don't want nobody but me / talkin' to you / until you fall asleep / we better stop playing (we better stop playing) / before we mess around and someone gets hurt
now this... this is THE quintessential raleigh song for me. like when i think of raleigh this is THE first song that comes to mind. the entire song beginning to end is raleigh singing about mc. like i am convinced if this existed in their universe, they ghostwrote it for mc. genuinely the MOST raleigh song in existence and i cannot be convinced otherwise
7. life of an outlaw
not gonna put the lyrics but this would absolutely be on one of raleighâs playlists that they play pre-concert to get hyped up, or a workout playlist. i just feel it in my bones that their fav music is from the 90âČs ok
8. watch ânâ learn
i'ma do it, do it, do it / on the bed, on the floor, on the couch / only 'cause your lips say make it to my mouth / just because i can't kiss back / doesn't mean you can't kiss that / baby all i need / all doing on me / like you aimed to please / show me how much you mean it / by the way that you please me, baby
another song on their freaky deeky playlist ! i know raleighâs prob tried to get with rihanna at least once in their lives
9. freaky girls
i'ma be your freak any time or place, any day of the week / said i'ma let you hit it, i ain't scared, i ain't shy, it's cool with meÂ
yet ANOTHER song on their freaky deeky playlist ! sorry im not taking this more seriously im just daydreaming ab the songs that raleigh would add to their secret playlists
10. thinkinâ bout you
thinking bout ya, dreaming bout ya / i don't wanna be without ya / pillow talking, heaven walking / been about ya, still about ya / you ain't gotta worry bout it, baby girl, you know i got you / drinking out the bottle to deal with all my problems like / i should call / i thought i had the right one the last time around
god this is post breakup raleigh through and through. i have a hc that raleigh ghostwrites a lot of songs for people especially ones that fuck with their brand â they collabed on this with micah and a popular rapper and micah was like :/ come on now raleigh i KNOW who this is about
11. un-thinkable
moment of honesty / someone's gotta take the lead tonight, who's it gonna be? / i'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me / if you have something to say, you should say it right now / you give me a feeling that i never felt before / and i deserve it, i think i deserve it / it's becoming something that's impossible to ignore / and i can't take it / i know you said to me / this is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be
raleighâs confession!!!!!!!! lord this reminds me of when they were on the beach together just talking and vibing â or really any time that they took
12. kiss it better
been waiting on that sunshine / boy, I think I need that back / can't do it like that / no one else gonna get it like that / man, fuck your pride, just take it on back, boy / take it on back boy, take it back all night / what are you willing to do? / oh, tell me what you're willing to do? / kiss it, kiss it better, baby
i think raleigh would cover this omg and maybe im biased bc itâs my fav song of all time but it just exudes raleigh energy!! plus i think this might be on their freaky deeky playlist LMAO
13. unrequited love
lost in the flames of love / unrequited love / time won't always heal / and it eats at my mind / because you're the one that got away / sometimes i feel alone / tried to hold my breath / somewhere deep in space / and i felt like you understood / what it truly means to be in love / now i'm wide open, it's so hard to focus / now that it's the end, i guess you'll always be / the one that got away
you know raleigh was super in their feelings after the breakup â i donât think they knew how fast theyâd fall for the mc. even if they didnât admit it out loud, i think they were convinced they wouldnât find someone like the mc again. anyways this song is sad as hell
14. youâre mine
come a little closer / let me tell you something / eat your ego honey / honey swallow your pride / i spotted you the second you walked in the building / i knew that you had let me get you high / i wanna hear the things you say when no-one's listening / no one's gonna save you / use you up and break you / i'm the one who plagues you every night / 'cause you're mine.
so the song itself is ab a toxic relationship, but tbh i can picture my mc dom and raleigh singing this duet on stage together and the chemistry would be absolutely off the charts oh my god.Â
ââââ
[disclaimer, i do not speak spanish, but i grew up listening to it and a lot of them have a lot of significance to me â i hope the rough translations i found online will do! some of them are very rough so iâll just put the spanish lyrics]
so with all of these spanish songs im convinced that raleigh would cover any of these! most of them are really romantic and have the same vibe as what i imagine raleigh would have !! not gonna do a lot of explaining here because i think this explanation speaks for itself
15. viento
préstame tu peine / y péiname el alma / desenrédame / fuera de este mundo / dime que no / estoy sonåndote / enséñame / de que estamos hechos.
lend me your comb / and comb my soul / untangle me / away from this world / tell me i'm not /Â dreaming of you / show me / what weâre made of
16. visita
que no es gusto, no es mi voluntad /Â que es lo que te digo /Â que aunque no me veas yo voi a estar /Â siempre contigo / la semana me parte en dos /Â de viernes a domingo /Â tu visita me repara cuando nos conecta entonces /Â quiero que te vengas a vivir, todos los dias conmigo
do not have a translation that makes a lot of grammatical sense for this one, but itâs generally about wanting to be closer to each other and move in together rather than visiting! itâs a really sweet song and the distance aspect reminds me of raleigh and mc
17. te quiero
te quiero / no, ya no me llores / no me vayas a hacer / llorar a mĂ / dame, dame tu mano / intentalo, mi niña / quiero verte reir / necesito verte / donde quiera que estes / te quiero, te quiero, te quiero / y no hago otra cosa / que pensar en ti / solo vivo y respiro / para tiÂ
i love you / no, donât cry for me anymore / donât make me cry / give me, give me your hand / try, my darling / i want to see you laughing / i need to see you / wherever you are / i love you, i love you, i love you / i donât do anything else / than thinking about you / i only live and breath / for you
imagining raleigh singing this for mc......... swoooooon
18. marĂa
not offering a translation, but itâs a sad song that i think raleigh would potentially cover!
19. efĂmera
nos miramos a través del cuerpo y la piel / se conectaron nuestras almas / es que tus ojos de miel deslumbran mi ser / cuando la oscuridad me atrapa / cuando me besas / me siento en otra parte / me hierve la sangre / me derrite el corazón
we saw each other through our bodies and skin / our souls connected / its cause your honey colored eyes dazzle my being / when the darkness traps me / when you kiss me / i feel like iâm in another place / my blood boils / it melts my heart
âitâs like every song iâve ever written was about youâ this is one of em for sure
20. obsesion
son las cinco de la mañana y no he dormido nada / pensado en tu belleza en loco voy a parar / el insomnio es me castigo, tu amor serĂĄ mi alivio / y hasta que no seas mĂa, no vivirĂ© en paz
itâs five in the morning and i havenât slept at all / thinking bout your beauty, iâm gonna end up crazy / insomnia is my punishment, your love will be my relief / and until youâre mine, i will not live in peace
raleigh and mc would duet this!!!! the lyrics themselves arenât really about their relationship but i think the vocals would be perfect for them
21. quiero ver
quiero ver tu risa todo el dĂa / escuchar la melodĂa de tu voz / quisiera ser el brillo de tus ojos / el peine que desnuda tu esplendor / la esquina que te ve cuando caminas / y quiero ser tu Ășltimo dolor / te pido que me cures esta herida / yo sĂ© muy bien que no es tu obligaciĂłn / tan sĂłlo si amortiguas mi caĂda / serĂĄ mi salvaciĂłn
i want to see your smile all day / listen to the melody of your voice / i wish i could be the brightness of your eyes / the comb that undresses your splendor / the corner that sees you when you walk / i want to be your last pain / i ask you to heal this wound / i know very well itâs not your obligation / just only if you cushion my fall / itâll be my salvation
this one makes me so soft oh my god and its another âitâs like every song iâve ever written was about youâ type of song
22. mĂĄs que tu amigo
es un secreto / que tan solo quiero compartir / con esos ojos / que le han dado luz a mi vivir / y en esta noche no hay mĂĄs luna / que como tĂș me alumbre mĂĄs / que en mi alma crece una fortuna / por tanta dicha que me das / te quiero, te quiero / se oye en mi pecho / es el grande amor que me has hecho / latido a latido / te siento conmigo / yo quiero ser mĂĄs que tu amigo
it is a secret / i just want to share / with those eyes / that give me light to live / and tonight there is no more moon / that shines on em as brightly as you do / in my soul grows a fortune / for such happiness that you bring me / i love you, i love you / you can hear in my chest / itâs the great love youâve made me / heartbeat to heartbeat / i feel you with me / i want to be more than your friend
god i can just imagine them singing this to mc teasingly during their fake relationship and sheâs like âsounds pretty i love your voiceâ but itâs really a confession AHHH
23. peligroso pop
no explanation on this one either! i just think this spanglish song would no doubt be on a playlist of raleighâs !!! iâm also imagining raleigh dancing to this or going to this artistsâ concert or something. idk it just reminds me of him !!!
24. eres
aquĂ estoy a tu lado / y espero aquĂ sentado hasta el final / no te has imaginado / lo que por tĂ esperado, pues eres / lo que yo amo en Ă©ste mundo, eso eres / cada minuto lo que pienso, eso eres / lo que mĂĄs cuido en este mundo, eso eres
here i am by your side / and iâll wait here, sitting, until the end / you havenât imagined / what iâve waited for you, because you are / what i love in this world, thatâs what you are / every minute in what i think, thatâs what you are / what i treasure most in this world, thatâs what you are
this entire song is raleigh singing to mc, but like this little section is just SO sappy. that one line i keep mentioning? yeah thatâs this song
25. locos
estoy contento de tenerte cerca / muy cerca de mĂ / que me digas loco / que me des besos / y que te rĂas de mĂ / y sĂ© que nunca te lo he dicho / y me da miedo confesar / pero antes, quiero besarte / que llevo loco, tratando de decirte / que ya no puedo vivir sin ti
iâm happy because youâre close / very close to me / cause you call me crazy / cause you give me kisses / and laugh at me / and i know iâve never told you this / and iâm afraid to confess / but first, i want to kiss you / iâm crazy, trying to tell you / that i can no longer live without you
god this reminds me of raleigh so much like ??? ok i dont know if this makes sense but imagine raleigh not being able to quite say the words theyâre feeling so they just sing a song in spanish instead because they one, express their feelings through lyrics better and two, they know mc doesnât understand spanish (this is specifically for non spanish speaking mcs)
26. no te puedo olvidar
sĂ© que nunca me equivoquĂ© / en lo que siento / y cuando me tocas la piel / me desvanezco / sĂ© que miraremos a la Ășltima estrella / asĂ nos conectaremos / yo te necesito mĂĄs de lo que piensas / mĂĄs de lo que puedo creer / vives en mĂ y en mi materia / no te quedo olvidar
i know i was never wrong / about what i feel / and when you touch my skin / i vanish / i know weâre gonna stare at the last star / thatâs how weâll connect / and i need you more than you can imagine / more than you can believe / you live in me and in my matter / i canât forget you
this is one of the most romantic songs i swear to gooooddddd i think if raleigh and mc ever broke up this would be what they wrote afterwards â but also i think in general heâd write this about her without the breakup ! idk iâm just in love with this song. anyways
OKAY IâM DONE RAMBLING I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS PLAYLIST !!!! this is what iâve been listening to while iâve been reblogging posts today !!!
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A Bugâs Life
Peter Parker x Lang!reader
warnings:
a/n: i love this concept and also anon u r sweet and i just found out theres a marvel supervillainess named dragonfly but since i havent heard of her until today im using that name!
prompt: anonymous: âCan you please write a Tom Holland!Peter Parker x Female!Reader where the reader is the older sister of Cassie Lang (Antmanâs daughter) and her and Peter fall in love with each other. âš Thanks so much! đâ
Okay, so when you were a kid, you had always dreamed of being a superhero. You never thought youâd know your idols personally, though. You see, when your dad, Scott Lang, came back from prison, a lot changed. Suddenly, he was a superhero and no matter how much he didnât like it, you wanted to be apart of it.
âY/N, no, please. Youâre just a kid!â You dad argued with you in the presence of your âuncles.â
âScotty, I think itâd be good for her, you know? Like, sheâs so smart and sheâs got a lot of talent! I think she could learn a thing or two from Hope and Dr. Pym, right?â Uncle Luis egged on.
âYeah, dad! Me and Hope have already been experimenting with some stuff and, I mean, Momâs been bugging me over getting into some extracurriculars...â You reasoned with him.
âYeah, y/n, like photography club or soccer, not being a crime-fighting bug!â Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, but when he looked back up, you were giving him puppy eyes. âDonât...donât do that.â
âPlease, dad? I just wanna follow in your footsteps. Youâre my hero.â You pouted your lip and didnât break eye contact with him until he let out a load groan.
âYour mom is going to kill me.â He mumbled while you celebrated with Luis.
You became known as Dragonfly, Ant-Man and Waspâs sidekick partner. It wasnât long before you were affiliated with the Avengers and other heroes from across the galaxy.
The first time you stepped foot into the Avengers Compound was unbelievable.
âIf only I could tell eight-year-old me how cool sheâd grow up to be...â You whispered as your dad led you through the place. You were specifically requested for recruitment following a backround check that proved that you were qualified to train as a junior scientist! The program had just been started thanks to the young Spider-Man, one of the many heroes you had met before and would actually get to know after today.
âAlright, kiddo, itâs not too late to back out.â Your dad told you.
âItâs gonna be fine, dad! You know you can visit me anytime and Iâll come to see you and Cassie every chance I can get.â You gave him a warm smile to let him know itâs alright.
âI know...Iâm just gonna miss you, you know?â He shrugged, but before the conversation could continue, you were greeted by Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk.
âWelcome! Nice to see you again, Scott.â Bruce shook your dadâs hand, then turned to you. âAnd itâs wonderful to finally meet the girl behind the mask.â He shook your hand.
âNice to meet you, too, Doctor Banner.â You fit your small hand into his abnormally large (and green) hand.
âIâve heard great things about you, Y/N. Iâm excited to see your talent up close.â Dr. Banner chuckled. âI told Peter to meet us here, he probably forgot.â He walked to the wall and pressed the speaker button to the intercom. âPeter, can you meet us at the South Entrance?â
Moments later, a teenage boy came barrelling towards the three of you.
âSorry! Sorry Iâm late.â He apologized profusely. You giggled at the disheveled appearance of him. His hair was sticking up in the back and his flannel was half-tucked into his pants. âIâm Peter!â He stuck his hand out for you to shake. âPeter Parker. Spider-Man.â You took his hand gladly and shook it.
âY/N Lang. Dragonfly.â You introduced yourself. âItâs been a while since weâve fought together.â You pointed out. âMaybe thatâs a good thing.â Peterâs eyes furrowed at that comment. âYou know, not fighting.â You added.
âOh, yeah, definitely!â Peter agreed.
âSo, let me guess: you overslept?â You referenced Peterâs bold look and he quickly fixed anything noticeably wrong to him. Bruce and your dad were just observing the chemistry between you and Peter, exchanging entertained glances.
âHi! Iâm y/nâs dad, Scott. Ant-Man.â Scott interrupted as he waved to Peter.
âOh! I remember you. You got really big in Germany and I had to web your knees until you fell down.â Peter brought up old memories and you covered your mouth to stop from laughing.
âYep! Thatâs me.â Scott eyes got slightly wider. âSo, I really wish I could stay, but I have a meeting with a client tomorrow morning that I canât miss. Alarm company doesnât run itself, you know?â Silence. âAnyways, uh, y/n.â He motioned you a bit closer so you could say goodbye. He crouched down and grabbed both your shoulders. âI love you so much and I am super proud of you. This is an awesome opportunity, kiddo!â
âYeah, I know.â You said in a sort of disappointed tone.
âWhatâs wrong?â Scott asked.
âIâm just gonna miss you.â You frowned.
âCome here.â Your dad pulled you into a tight hug. âIâm gonna miss you, too.â The hug lasted at least sixty seconds before he pulled away and kissed your forehead. âOkay, now hereâs your bag, go do some science!â He gave you your suitcase. âI love you, Pumkin.â
âLove you, too, dad.â You smiled, almost holding back tears. You really didnât want to say goodbye to him, but itâs apart of life. Scott watched as you, Peter, and Banner walked down the halls of the Compound. Bruce and Peter were showing you your new room!
âWhatâs crime like on the West Coast?â Peter asked you. âIâve only fought crime on the East Coast. And Europe. And Space.â
âCrime is the same coast to coast. Itâs crime.â You shrugged.
âWell, thatâs cool. Sorry, Iâm not good at small talk.â He chuckled.
âPeter, youâll be able to show y/n her room and give her a little tour, right?â Bruce asked as he slowed down.
âYeah, no problem.â Peter nodded.
âAlright, great. Iâll be in the lab if anyone needs me.â Bruce walked away and left the two of you to it.
âOkie doke.â Peter clapped his hands together. âWell, this is the hallway.â Is exactly how he just began the tour. The Compound was actually, surprisingly, bigger than you expected. âAnd thatâs the training room, thereâs the kitchen, your room has itâs own bathroom, but there are other bathrooms all over the place. Thereâs a shopping list on the fridge if you ever have any requests, but fruit snacks are banned since I ate two full boxes in one day and threw up.â Peter gave that wonderful anecdote.
âWow, thatâs...impressive?â You tried to come up with something.
âI think the word youâre looking for is âdisgusting.ââ Peter and you shared a laugh as you approached your new room. He opened the door up and you stepped into the biggest bedroom youâd ever seen. âItâs taken some getting used to, you know, the big room, the big bed, the huge bathroom, all of it.â
âThis is amazing.â You mumbled.
âYeah! And Bruce said we can go shopping and decorate the room any way youâd like. I just got my license, so Iâd be cool with driving.â Peter proposed.
âYeah, I think thatâd be pretty cool.â You agreed as you threw your suitcase onto the bed and started unpacking. âUh, Iâm kind of hungry...know any places to eat around here?â You started putting shirts on hangers and filling up your huge closet. You noticed Peter hadnât answered your question yet, so you turned around to see what he was stalling for. He was just watching you. âAm I really that interesting?â You joked.
âWhat?â Peter blinked. âOh! Yeah, sorry, yeah, thereâs a few places around that we can go to. Assuming youâd want my company, of course. Itâs your choice, really.â Peter rambled and you approached him.
âDuh, I gotta get to know my housemate better!â You pulled Peter out of the room and in a random direction. âAm I going the right way to the garage?â
âNo.â He answered and you quickly changed directions. You were oddly comfortable with Peter already, and he wasnât exactly against it. You were super sweet to him and you two have a lot of shared experience. Teen heroes trying to make a difference. And bug-themed.
Peter drove you to his favorite (and closest) restaurant for dinner, and on the way, he played his music on the playlist. Left Hand Free by Alt-J played through the speakers as you sang along.
âYou like this song?â He asked and you nodded without a pause in singing. âGood, so do I. You have a really good voice.â He complimented, which definitely made you blush.
âThanks, now sing with me!â You nudged his arm leaning on the console and resumed your singing.
âI donât really sing.â Peter chuckled and saw you roll your eyes, then sighed. âFine. You win.â He began to join you in song.
Well your left handâs free, and your rightâs in grip. With another left hand watch his right hand slip towards his gun, woah woah woah...
âYouâre not too bad, yourself, Peter.â You told him as he pulled into a parking spot at the restaurant. The two of you walked in together and the waitress immediately recognized Peter.
âHey there, Peter! Good to see you!â She greeted and grabbed two menus. âI see youâve brought a date.â She raised her eyebrows and smirked.
âOh, uh, sheâs notââ Peter stuttered before you took over.
âYep, itâs our first date! Iâm y/n.â You introduced yourself.
âWell, itâs nice to see him with someone. Follow me, you two.â She let you over to a table and told you sheâd be back for drinks in a minute. As soon as she left, Peter turned to you.
âWhen were you going to tell me this was a date?â Peter cocked an eyebrow with a crooked smile to match it.
âIâm sorry! I hope itâs okay I told her that.â You innocently replied.
âItâs more than okay.â Peter leaned forward. âIâm happy to be your date. We are moving a bit fast, though.â
âAre you sure? This is actually pretty slow for people our age. By now, theyâd probably be confessing their love for one another.â You joked and he rolled his eyes.
âYou are so right!â He snorted. âJeez, itâs been so long since Iâve talked to someone my own age!â He sighed. âWhat about you?â
âI hang out with adults all day long. The only kid I hang out with is my little sister. Do you have any siblings?â You asked him.
âOnly child.â Peter answered. âWhatâs your sisterâs name?â
âCassie. Sheâs sweet but itâs kind of weird coming back after the Blip and seeing her all big and everything.â You made random hand gestures to demonstrate that she was bigger.
âI know, right! I have classmates that I saw as infants that are now bigger than me!â He explained. The waitress came back and got you your drinks and took each of your orders. Back to the chit-chat. âOkay, now tell me, what got you into the hero-game?â
âOkay, well, my dad had just gotten out of prison, right?â That sentence itself made Peter choke on his drink. âOh, calm down, it was a non-violent offense. He actually exposed corruption, thatâs why I look up to him.â You explained.
âThatâs good, thatâs good. Iâm glad. Go on.â He took another sip from his drink.
âYeah, so then he robbed Hank Pym, who actually wanted my dad to rob him, then a bunch of ants broke my dad out of jail after he got arrested again for stealing from Dr. Pym, then my dad became the new Ant-Man and took down some bad guys, his new girlfriend, Hope, who is Dr. Pymâs daughter, took a liking to me and started showing me the ropes, so me and my Uncle Luis convinced my dad to let me make my own suit. Then Dragonfly was born.â You explained in full detail. âWhat about you?â
âOh, yeah. Well, I got bit by a radioactive spider that was being experimented on in a lab, then I had a short-lived wrestling career, then my uncle who raised me died and I became Spider-Man.â He smiled and your jaw dropped.
âHoly shit, are you okay?â You asked.
âOh, yeah, Iâm good.â He admitted as you guys recieved your food. âSo, anything else I should know about you?â
âI dunno.â You shrugged. âI like Star Wars.â You told him.
âMe too!â Peter exclaimed.
âNo, you donât. My dad told me Spider-Man called AT-ATâs âwalking-thingies.ââ You shook your head and laughed at the thought of that.
âOkay, so Iâm not a huge fan, but our next date can be a Star Wars marathon?â Peter proposed.
âYes!â You agreed a bit too enthusiastically. Peter smiled and the waitress brought an ice cream sundae with two spoons to the table.
âItâs on the house.â She told you two with a wink.
âLooks like weâre sharing.â You grabbed a spoon and got to work. Peter got chocolate all over his chin. He was kind of a messy eater. âYouâve got a little something...â You grabbed a napkin and wiped his chin clean.
âThanks.â Peter picked his spoon up and moved it towards you. âHave you tried any of the brownie yet?â You took a bite of what he offered.
âWow, thatâs amazing.â You spoke through your mouthful.
âI hate to brag, but I make a pretty mean batch of brownies.â Peter bragged.
âYouâre gonna have to prove it, Pete.â You wiped your face off and cleaned up your spot a bit. âYou ready to get back to the Compound?â
âYeah, yeah, letâs get going.â Peter left some cash on the table to pay the bill and walked you out to the car. The car ride back was filled with jokes and even more stories about your super-adventures. âSo, youâre telling me that the first time you shrank, you cried?â
âYes! Dude, it was an emotional experience. Iâm telling you, I was not prepared for something so cool.â You defended yourself. âNow tell me something embarrassing about your powers.â
âI got stuck to a bathroom stall at school and they thought I was skipping class so they sent an aide and I was crying out of fear.â He admitted with pity in his voice.
âOh, my god. Thatâs awful.â You giggled and grabbed his hand. âHave you recovered yet?â
âNo, unfortunately not, but the handholding sure does help.â Peter squeezed your hand tighter.
âIâm glad.â You smugly replied and closed your eyes to listen to the music. You were kind of exhausted from traveling, so you knew youâd pass out the moment you hit your bed. Soon, you arrived at the Compound and Peter kissed your cheek to get you up.
âWeâre hoooome.â He said in a singsong voice as your eyes fluttered open. âSorry, that was weird.â He apologized, but you grabbed his face and pulled him in for a long kiss. More like a brief makeout, but potato, poe-tah-toe.
âYouâre really cute, you know?â
#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker#spiderman#spiderman x reader#spiderman imagine#avengers x reader#avengers imagine#avengers#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#scott lang#scott lang x reader#scott lang imagine#antman#antman imagine#antman x reader#scott lang x daughter!reader#peter parker x lang!reader
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HI, I REALLY LIKED THE LAST ONE YOU DID WITH BAKUGOU AND THE READER, NOW IM BACKđ€Ą if it aint too much to ask, may i get a request with kirishima where him and his girlfriend go grocery shopping? like the others planned what they want to eat and so kirishima and his s/o go get the ingredients they need; but they get sidetracked đ€Ą his s/o keeps sitting in the cart while kiri drives them around (crazily), they keep trying samples, etc. they get what they need and head back to the dormsđ„° thanks!!
HI I donât much about stores in Japan butttt I LOVE THIS IDEA SO HERE U GO SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!
Title: Shopping Cart Joyride
Prompt: (Requested!)
Rating: Fluff!
Words: 5,870
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
âYou know what would go great with these notes? Some sukiyaki.â
You snorted at Minaâs words, partially ignoring her as you continued to show Tsuyu the correct math equation. The girls from 1-A were all gathered in the living room, notes and textbooks haphazardly scattered across the coffee table and floor. While you werenât the smartest student within the class, you were at least in the top 5, meaning you and Momo had been recruited by your other classmates to run a studying session.
âOh, that does sound good! Do you think we have everything for it?â Ochako piped up in excitement, and soon everyone was chattering about the prospect of hot pot. Even your stomach was growling at the thought.
âDo you think we could convince Bakugou to make it? Heâs the best chef here.â
âOi! Talking shit, you extras?â
Just as the words had left Minaâs lips, the infamous hothead himself entered the building, a gym bag tossed over his shoulder and sweat glistening from his forehead. Trailing close behind him were Kirishima, Kaminari, and a handful of the other boys who forced themselves through Bakugouâs tough regime, huffing and puffing as if they just finished a marathon. Your E/C gaze immediately sought out Kirishima, drifting over his frame before dropping to your notes once more, a light blush adorning your cheeks. From beside you, Jirou nudged your arm with a grin. Your crush on the red head was apparent to a lot of your classmates, except for him it seemed. Not that you minded that fact too much; just imagining Kirishima knowing about your little crush and ignoring it would be too embarrassing.
âAlways, Bakugou! But weâll stop if you make us sukiyaki for dinner!â Mina bartered, sitting more upright as she let her attention zero in on her target. He snorted, shouldering his bag with narrowed eyes. You swung your attention back to Kiri, and immediately swung it away after meeting his eyes. Crap, you thought to yourself, biting down on your bottom lip. That was unexpected. You could feel almost all of the girlâs eyes on you, most likely because they caught the awkward interaction. Ochako swore that Kiri felt the same way, but you always brushed her off. He never seemed to treat you any differently than the other girls, so why would you assume otherwise?
Mina continued to plead to Bakugou, until he finally broke. âFine! Just stay the hell out of my way, or Iâll kill you!â He barked, shoulders tensed as he dropped his bag onto the chair and storming into the kitchen. Only a few seconds ticked by with the sound of banging cabinets before he returned to the room, pan held in one hand like a weapon. âHow in the fuck am I supposed to cook something when thereâs no ingredients, huh dumbasses?â
Minaâs face fell. âAh, I forgot about that partâŠâ
âIdiot!â
Momo perked up. âHey, itâs still early. We can still go get some ingredients, right?â She looked to her peers, who all nodded in agreement, before returning her attention to Bakugou. âMake a list of what you want, and weâll send someone for them! How simple!â
His frown grew, but he did as Momo asked and stepped into the living room, dropping his frying pan onto the couch before scribbling down what he needed in a lone notebook. He tore out the page and, strangely enough, handed it to you. âHere. Get all of this, or else.â He threatened lightly, but the words didnât hold the punch. Before you could reply, he was out of the room, trudging up the stairs and to his room. âBe back in an hour or youâre fucked!â He hollered out behind him.Â
âI guess Iâm in charge of this, huh?â You sighed, standing up from your spot on the floor with a groan. Your legs were sore, being in the same position for nearly an hour, and made your way to the kitchen where your class hid its food money, shoving a majority of the wad into the pocket of your sweatpants. You felt a presence behind you, and immediately yelped when a hand grabbed your arm.
âWoah! Calm down, itâs just me.â Kiri raised his hands by his head in mock innocence, grinning as you placed a steady hand over your rapidly beating heart. He was still in his gym clothes, red basketball shorts and a white t-shirt, although his hair was slightly damp. No doubt due to a shower he had taken after working out. You shoved the thought out of your head almost as quickly as you had formulated it. The last thing you needed to think about was Kiri in all of his bare glory, from his biceps to his happy trail down to his⊠man, you really needed to stop imagining that before it was too late. A hand appeared in your vision, and you snapped back to reality.
âSorry, did you say something?â
âYeah! I was asking if you needed some help to the grocery store! Iâm sure those bags will be pretty heavy.â
He wrapped one hand behind his neck, grin softening as you debated his proposal. On one hand, youâd be alone with him for an uncertain amount of time and, while you were certain you wouldnât make a fool out of yourself, that couldnât be promised⊠On the other hand, youâd be alone with him for an uncertain amount of time. Without the eyes of your gossip-greedy friends. Which didnât sound bad at all.
âYou know what? Sure. Thanks, Kiri.â You smiled at him, noticing the way the tips of his ears reddened. It made your heart jump to your throat. âNo problemo! Let me grab my coat, and we can head out!â He was as loud as always when he bounded out of the kitchen, practically flying up the stairs. As soon as he exited, you released a sigh and went back into the living room. At that point, the boys had surged with the girls, studying forgotten as a rerun of an older movie played on the TV screen. Ochako had her phone in her hand, no doubt notifying the group chat of that nightâs dinner plans; a ploy to get Midoriya out of his bedroom. Her gaze swung to you.
âSo! Kiri and you are going to the store, huh?â She said, and you didnât miss the suggestive tone in her voice, nor the wiggle of her eyebrows.
âYeah, we are. Why?â You play innocent, batting your lashes at your friend as she snickers. The familiar blonde of Kaminari pops into your line of sight, and heâs wearing a similar grin. âOh, no reason!â He sings, leaning over the couchâs cushions on his stomach, chin propped up by his palms as he kicks his legs up and down like a preteen girl. âJust try to stay away from one another, hmm? Canât have your flirting get in the way of our dinner, you know.â
You flicked his forehead, hard enough to earn a whine from the boy. âShush, youâll get your food. Jeez.â You barely notice how his eyes darted behind you before returning, and his smile taking on a more flirtatious turn. He leans forward more, pushing up and hovering his face only inches away from your own. âWell, if you ever get tired of waiting, donât forget Iâm always he-â Heâs stopped as a familiar hand lands on his face, shoving him off of the couch and unfortunately leading to him crashing to the floor with a groan. You look beside you, Kiriâs hand still in the air but an ever-present smile on his lips. âReady to go?â He chirped, and you notice how heâs switched out his shorts for dark jeans, a bomber jacket tossed over his shoulder yet unworn.
âWeâll be back soon, guys!â You shoot a final farewell to your classmates before Kiri sweeps you out of the building. Youâre grateful that the nearest store is only a few minutesâ walk away; not because you donât like walking with Kiri, but because youâve just noticed how the wind has started picking up and your current outfit isnât really cut out for cold conditions. You wish you wouldâve changed, your wrinkly t-shirt and sweatpants suddenly looking less appetizing than they had only moments ago. You drift your eyes back to Kiriâs jeans, climbing them up his leg and chest until they meet his ruby eyes. Again. You bit your lip and looked away. Second time. Iâm slipping up. You joked to yourself
âAre you cold?â Kiri asked, disregarding how you had pretty much eyed him. His attention instead shifts to your crossed arms, before moving to the sidewalk ahead of him, cheeks dusted from the cold. You were a little chilly, but youâd never admit that to him. Especially since he seemed fine. âNope! The weather is great right now!â You exclaimed a bit more than you needed to, and to prove yourself, you uncross your arms and will them to casually swing beside you. You hoped he didnât notice the shiver that ran through you.
âWell, at least it isnât too far of a walk! Hey, did you understand Present Micâs lecture today? I didnâtâŠâ He switches the topic quickly, and you happily delve into the new subject as you try your best to explain the new information that had been drilled into your minds earlier that day. By the time youâve finished, the two of you are idle in front of the market, and youâve partially forgotten about how cold you are. At least, until you enter the store and youâre hit with a blast of warmth.
You pull the crumbled list from your pocket, eyes scanning over Bakugouâs scrawled words. âWe might need a cart. Looks like Bomb Boy wanted everything the store had to offer.â The comment earns you a chuckle, and you take it.
âAlready five steps ahead of you, partner!â You look to see Kiri already armed with a plastic cart, his jacket balled up in the corner of it.. You shift away from the entrance to avoid blocking it, and he follows dutifully, swinging the cart to his right as he glances over to you beside him. âWhatâs the first on the list?â Kiri ducks his head beside yours, shoulders brushing as you give him a chance to go over the list himself. Youâre a hair away from his face, and so close that you can see a little scar thatâs practically invisible on his otherwise clear forehead. You stare at it for a moment too long, wondering if thereâs a story behind it, before he swings his attention to you and suddenly your lips are inches away from one another and your brain sort of short circuits to the point that all you want to do is close off that couple of inches that sits between your lips and-
You stumble backwards and plaster on a weary smile. âVegetables first! Letâs go!â You rush the words out and surge forward, painfully ignoring the fact that you were seconds away from ruining your friendship with Kiri. He stills for a moment, then heâs close behind you. You almost miss the blank look thatâs overtaken his usually bright expression, but it disappears too quickly for you to properly register as his familiar grin returns. âMan, wouldnât it be funny if we got only a few vegetables and a bunch of meat? I bet Bakugou would blow a gasket!â He said, and you forced yourself to chuckle at the thought.
The first few moments are filled with an awkward silence, as you read off of the list and Kiri finds the items said. After a few ingredients later, Kiri swings his head around, scanning the store curiously. âHey, when you were a kid, did your parents ever drive you around in the shopping cart?â The question is unprompted, and you tilt your head at the red head in confusion.
âUm, not really. My mom didnât take me with her when she shopped, usually. Why do you ask?â
âWell- Wait, never? Dude, you missed out!â
A small smile graced your lips. âI guess I wouldnât know, huh?â You teased lightly, but Kiri doesnât laugh; instead, he glances around once more, before moving all of the collected vegetables into the same corner of his jacket.
âAlright, get in!â
You stare at him for a moment, eyes scanning over his serious expression. Youâre still smiling. âSeriously?â
âSeriously! Câmon, itâs dead here. No one will say anything about it!â
You highly doubted that, but only shook your head before doing as Kiri asked, wobbling slightly as you climbed into the cart. Kiriâs arm automatically shoots out to balance you, and you use it graciously, appreciating the warm muscle under your palm as you steady yourself and sit down, facing away from Kiri and arms wrapped around your knees. âAre you ready?â He asks in a giddy tone, and you have a feeling heâs more excited than you are for this. Nonetheless, you nod, and suddenly youâre barrelling down the aisle, flashes of green blurring slightly. A surprised giggle bubbles from your lips, your hands moving from your knees to the cartâs walls on either side of you.
He cart-drifts the turn, and you wonder if youâre going to crash straight into the table of bananas before youâre flying once more. Your giggles have escalated into shrieks of glee, and from behind you can hear Kiriâs breathy laughter as he pushes the cart. He halts the cart expertly, and you nearly fall forward and face-first but catch yourself. Youâre still laughing, and Kiri joins in with you. Despite how short the first ride was, you enjoyed it. It felt exhilarating, and a part of you was ready to do it all over again. You and Kiri made eye contact for only a second, and then youâre flying through the air again, screaming like a child with Kiri close behind.
That is, until the storeâs employee just happened to turn the corner at the exact wrong time.
He seized up, panic flowing over his features as he saw you and Kiri barrelling towards him in a bright red cart. Kiri automatically hit the breaks, lurching you forward before slamming backwards, whining in pain. However, it goes unnoticed as the store clerkâs fearful eyes morph into a glare.
âPlease refrain from any unnecessary activities on the floor.â His voice was ice cold, and he pointedly stared at your frozen frame until Kiriâs arms circled under yours, effectively pulling you up to help you climb out of the cart. As soon as your feet had hit the tile, the clerk was gone once more, his grumbling audible from the aisle next over. You glanced over at the red head, faces blank for a moment. Then, smiles bloomed on both of your lips, and you held your stomach as you giggled uncontrollably. âG-god, that was embarrassing.â
âBut you had fun, right?â
You straightened up, noticing how Kiriâs smile had taken a softer tone as he stared at you. âYeah, I did. Thanks, Kiri.â You had to urge to press a kiss to his cheek - friends did that, right? - and did so, pretending to ignore the fact that his face flushed red. âCâmon, letâs finish this list and head back before Bakugou blows us both up.â
You continue down the list, Kiri pushing the cart as you lead him through the store. During your hunt, the two of you go between other ingredients you could add that werenât on the list. âWhat about hot sauce? Like, a really hot one?â He said, and your eyes lit up.Â
âOh my god! And what if we put it only in Bakugouâs bowl?â
âAnd Kaminariâs! Maybe Minaâs too, since sheâs the one who wanted sukiyaki and couldnât come get the stuff herself.â
âJeez, thatâs evil. I love it.â
Kiri laughed, and you felt your chest warm at the welcoming sound. âIâll take all the blame too. Gotta protect my grocery store co-pilot, right?â He winked, then changed his attention to the next aisle where the cursed sauces laid. He grabbed what Bakugou had asked for first, then stood in front of the hottest sauces the store had to offer with a hand on his chin. He looked like he was in deep thought, and after staring at the shelves for a moment longer, turned to you. âWhat do you think is hotter, the bottle with four jalepenos, or the bottle with four flames?â He grabbed the two mentioned, turning them over in his hand as he read the labels before giving them to you. You scanned both quickly.
âWell, the one with the flames does say âBurning off taste buds since 1974â, so I think theyâve got the heat crafted pretty well.â You mused, handing both bottles back to your friend. He scrutinized them a bit more and shrugged. âAye aye, captain!â He said, grinning once more as he placed the first bottle back in its rightful place, and its rival in the cart. âI think thatâs almost everything, though! Just gotta grab the meat next. Man, Iâm hungryâŠâ Kiri continued to mumble as he pushed forward into the store, towards the cold section to nab the said item. Your heart sank; you were hungry as well, but a part of you wanted to keep hanging with Kiri one-on-one. It was fun. You were having fun.
However, it couldnât last forever.Â
âDid you find everything okay?â The store clerkâs voice was bland, eyes still narrowed at the two of you as he lazily scanned through the items you had gathered. It was the same man as earlier, who had caught you screaming down the aisles like a madwoman, and an embarrassed blush crosses your cheeks. Even Kiri looked a little guilty, but he tried to downplay it with a short chuckle. âYeah, thanks! I like your watch, by the way!â
â⊠Thanks.â
Kiri puckered his lips in an attempt to stay silent, and you force yourself to fight down the giggle that threatened to rise. He looked like a duck, sort of; a red-haired duck. Or a baby who had just tried a lemon for the first time. He caught your gaze with his own, eyes twinkling mischievously. The only sounds were the beeping from the register as it scanned through every item, and the low melody of the speakers playing overhead. The store clerk was muttering under his breath, and Kiri raised an eyebrow in your direction silently. âHe seems upset. Wonder why.â He leaned in to whisper to you, breath tickling your ear. You grin, and quickly try to wipe the look away as the clerk glanced up at you. âHereâs your total.â He pointed to the electronic screen, and you scurried to pull the crumbled bills from your pocket, awkwardly handing them over. If looks could kill, the clerk wouldâve been a murderer long ago, and you shrunk away from his gaze slightly. He moved his attention back to the register, grumbles growing in volume slightly, and Kiri pinched your side. âJeez, be careful now (Y/N). We donât want to get on his bad side.â You forced down the giggle, opting for a straight face as the employee hands back your change and receipt.
It isnât until you and Kiri step outside that you two finally laughed; itâs full of hiccups and snorts, and you leaned against the wall until both of you calmed down. âI feel kind of bad for the guy.â Kiri says, and you wiped a stray tear from your eye. Looking down at your hands, youâre glad you hadnât come alone; the bags really were heavy.
âI blame you! Hold the bags, co-pilot.â
Kiri dutifully does as you ask, grabbing the two plastic shopping bags from you and brushing his hands against your own. You felt a slight tingle from it, and drew back fairly quickly as you began to head back to the school. The wind has picked up, and as a gust sweeps by, you shiver. It doesnât go by unnoticed. âHere, take this.â Kiri sets the bags to the ground and slips out of his coat, hanging it from his fingers. Heâs looking at you expectedly, and you hesitate. âI canât! Itâs really not that cold out, Iâll be fine.â
â(Y/N), I can see the goosebumps on your arms. Just take it before I force you to.â The threat is empty, and shyly you smile as you accept the coat, slipping it around your frame. Itâs big on you, not that you mind, and smells entirely of Kiri; of the musky cologne that he wore so often, and coconut shampoo. You snuggle deeper into its warmth. Kiri grabbed the bags once more. âOkay! Letâs hurry up, itâs cold!â He rushed forward before you had a chance to swat at his arm, chasing after him with a fist in the air as he laughed.
He finally slowed for you, and you continue to walk side-by-side with one another. âAre you sure you donât want me to take a bag?â
âOf course not! How manly would I be if I let a lady carry the groceries?â
You snorted, but let the topic drift away as you look forward, lost in your thoughts. The day had gone so good, and you had been crushing on him for quite a while⊠Would it be a bad time to confess? If he didnât feel the same, you knew Kiri would still try to preserve the friendship in some way or another. Just the thought of that made you wince, and you casted a glance at your companion. What you didnât expect was to meet his amber gaze, but instead of turning away, you kept staring. And so did he.
He stopped walking, and opened his mouth to speak. Then closed it. He tried speaking again, to no avail, and instead sighed. âMan, this is harder than I thought.â He said, and laughed slightly after. His grip on the bags was tighter than before, knuckles turning pale as he averted his gaze for a second before returning his eyes to you. He took a deep breath, and patiently you waited. You felt like your heart was jumping out of your chest, but you waited nonetheless.
âItâs just⊠We should hurry home before itâs too late.â
Your heart deflated, and you hoped it didnât show on your face. Instead, you opted for a short laugh, one that sounded pitiful to your own ears. âAh, yeah⊠Good thing weâre close.â You turn back towards the path and step forward, silently cursing yourself for expecting something⊠different. What had you expected, really? A confession? You bit your tongue, dashing away the thought before it can fully form into something more.
The walk back is quieter than the walk to the store, and you try not to dwell on the fact too much. As soon as you enter the kitchen, you plastered on a smile. âWeâre ba~ack!â You shouted, and Mina popped her head over the couch cushions. Most of your classmates had situated themselves in the living room, Bakugou included; although he looked pretty peeved.
âOi, what took you so long? I thought I told you an hour!â
You rolled your eyes at the blonde, redirecting your gaze to Kiri as he sets the bags down on the dining table. You smiled at him. âWell, you shouldnât have given us such a long list!â As you turned back to the living room, you motioned for Kiri to get into the kitchen, hoping he hadnât forgotten about the hot sauce. Based on the gleam in his eyes, though, you guessed he hadnât. âSo get in the kitchen, Wench Bakugou!â
âWhat the fuck did you just call me?â
âChef Wench Bakugou? Is that better?â He grumbled as he stood up, nearly shouldering you as he stalked into the kitchen. You jumped towards the seat he had left on the couch, and despite your happy expression, you noticed how Ochaco looked at you with worry. âOutta my way, shitty hair!â Soon after, Kiri was kicked out of the kitchen as well, grinning like a cheshire cat as he stumbled into the living room, collapsing beside his friends. Automatically, they fell into conversation, and Ochaco slid closer beside you.
âHey, are you okay?â She kept her voice low, and you glanced at her from the corner of your eye with a sigh.
âIs it that obvious?â
âWhat happened?â
You sighed again, a bit louder this time, and slouched back into the cushions. âCan I tell you later? Iâm just ready to eat and go to bed.â Ochaco nodded in understanding, looking over at Kiri for a thoughtful moment before switching the subject. âSince, youâre back, can you show me how to solve this equation? For some reasonâŠâ As Bakugou worked in the kitchen, you went back to helping your classmates with studying. You could feel someoneâs eyes flick over to you every so often, but you chose to ignore looking up, instead focusing on the task at hand. Within the next hour, Bakugouâs familiar growling cut through the chatter, announcing that dinner was ready to be served.
You stood up at the same time as Kirishima, obviously having the same thought as the two of you grinned. âYou did all the hard work, so let (Y/N) and I serve you!â A chorus of thanks resonated from the living room, and even Bakugou didnât bat an eyelash as the two of you made your way into the kitchen.
âJeez, they believed that pretty easily.â Kiri snickered, rounding the corner with the bottle of hot sauce in one hand. You didnât as where he had hidden it; instead, you made your way to the cabinet, reaching up to pull down the glass bowls that resided there. However, it seemed as though someone had recently moved them, putting them on a shelf higher than usual. You stretched up on your toes, inches away from the dishes, mumbling softly about how short you were. Seconds later, there was pressure on your back as Kiri stood behind you, easily grabbing the wanted bowls from their place. Heat rose to your cheeks once more that evening, as you felt his chest press against your shoulders, crotch flush against your backside. If someone had walked in at that moment, they might have assumed that they had walked into something more inappropriate than a friend lending a helping hand. Automatically you froze, hand dropping and bracing itself on the countertop. You felt light-headed, and more so as Kiri pulled away and tugged you to turn around. He used his arms to trap you, placed on either side of your frame as he set down the few bowls he had grabbed and tilted his head down to stare at you. His eyes were burning, but with what you werenât sure, and before you could decipher it he leaned in closer, lips hovering over your own up until-
You were the one to push forward, leaning further into Kiri as you kissed him, barely a brush of your lips, enjoying the little zap that ran through your body as you did so. He tensed up, as if unsure if he should follow in suit, but quickly made up his mind as he wrapped a hand around your waist, the other finding its way into your hair and tilting your head upwards. He pulled back for barely a moment, then he was kissing you more deeply, hungrily. His tongue ran over your bottom lip, asking for entrance that you granted. He was warm, and tasted funnily like marshmallows; a complete opposite of his quirk, really. Nevertheless you enjoyed it, and the only reason he pulled away was to take in a lungful of air, and as soon as your mouths disconnected you gasped for it. Your lips felt swollen, and in surprise you ghosted your fingers over them. Did that really just happen? You thought to yourself and, shyly, you glanced to Kiri under your eyelashes, gauging his reaction. His cheeks were dusted pink, lips bright as his chest rose rapidly. He looked just as shocked as you, eyes wide as he scanned over your face, eyes staring at your lips a moment too long. Then, he grinned.
âSo⊠That wasnât supposed to happen.â
You automatically felt your heart stop, staring at his face and willing him to say more. Donât say it was a mistake, you screamed to yourself. Donât make me pretend to forget about it. That had been your first real kiss - you didnât count the one from first grade, which was barely a peck before the victimized boy ran off screaming about cooties - but Kirishimaâs words didnât make it as special as you wanted it to be. Idly, you wondered if that was his first kiss too. If it was, you were greatly surprised. Kiri spoke again.
âI-I mean, not that it was bad! But I had wanted to confess first, maybe take you out on our first date before doing that. Or is the first date too soon? Is kissing a third date kind of thing? Everything is so different in the movies.â Kiri began to ramble, eyes darting around the kitchen to avoid your gaze. You stared at him silently, trying to digest his words, which spurred him on to continue talking. âI mean, I almost did it earlier, too! I was able to stop myself then, but you just looked so cute with your little smile, and it was cute that you couldnât reach the top shelf so I helped you like they sometimes do in those shoujo mangas, but I didnât expect you to lean forward and-â He finally stopped himself, eyes widening even more as he looked down at you in wonder. âAnd⊠and you leaned in, which meansâŠâ You could practically see the gears in his head churning, and before you could second guess your actions you grabbed his face with both of his hands.
âWhich means I like you too.â You affirmed his thoughts, and if you thought his smile was bright before, the one that grew on his face at that moment was a lighthouse beacon. He didnât hesitate to yank you into a fierce hug, and you grunted softly at the force but welcomed it anyway, tangling your arms behind his neck. You two sat like that for a bit, before Kiriâs shoulders tensed. âCrap, theyâre probably wondering where their food is.â He muttered, and you laughed. You pressed a swift kiss to his smooth cheek, enjoying the way he blushed over the action, before pulling away for him. âCâmon, weâve still got a plan to commence, co-pilot.â You teased, taking the bowls he had set on the counter and scooping a serving of sukiyaki into them. âWould you like to do the honors?â
Kiri quickly pulled the rest of the bowls down from the shelf, setting them all side-by-side with one another before grabbing the hot sauce. It was sealed tightly, and even the smell of it after being opened made your nostrils flare. Kiri laughed evilly. âOh, would I!â He added a few drops to three of the bowls, mixing it into the broth and giving it a slightly darker color before looking at his work in satisfaction.
âSorry for the wait!â You announced, swinging out of the kitchen with a bowl in each hand. At the sound of your voice, everyone made their way to sit at the tables, chattering in excitement. Kiri was holding four bowls in his arms, and he shot you a wink before handing them out and returning to the kitchen for more. âHere you go, Mina.â You said sweetly and, her being as trusting as she was, grabbed the food with a chirp of thanks. You and Kiri leaned against the kitchen counter, eyes trained on your victims; Kiri had untainted portions hidden behind his back for them after their suffering. Mina was the first one to eat from the tainted sukiyaki, and as soon as the first spoonful hit her tongue, her eyes were watering.
âWhy is it so spicy?â She whined, fanning her tongue comedically with one hand as she coughed. Everyone looked at her in confusion, up until Kaminari started mirroring her. âSeriously! Baku-bro, câmon!â
The blonde growled, his first bite of his meal still untaken. âWhat are you talking about, you damned Pikachu? I didnât add shit to it.â
Midoriya reaffirmed everyone elseâs thoughts. âYeah, it tastes fine to the rest of us, right guys?â
âShut up, you damned Deku!â
The green-haired boy shrunk back with a sheepish smile, all too familiar with Bakugouâs empty threats. You and Kiri exchanged a look, both of you quietly enjoying your own meals with hidden smiles. You knew Mina and Kaminari wouldnât be able to handle the hot sauce, but Bakugou was different. Heâd either love it or rage about it for the rest of the week. You bounced your knee in anticipation. He took his first bite, brows automatically furrowing together before- âWhat the fuck? Itâs hotter than hell!â
You couldnât hold back at that point, and started giggling like a little school girl, hand pressed against your mouth to try ceasing your guilt from escaping. Bakugouâs eyes automatically sought you out. âThis was you two, wasnât it?â
âAw, no fair (Y/N)!â Mina squealed, jumping up and lightly slapping your arm. Her face was still red, eyes still watery, but she smiled nonetheless.
âSorry, sorry.â Kiri said with a grin, hands raised like a caught criminal. âIt was my idea.â He pulled out the bowl hidden behind his back, handing Mina and Kaminari the safe dinner portions with a chuckle. They took it with thanks, but Bakugou refused the bowl with a vicious grin. âKeep that baby shit! Only a real man could eat something this hot!â He barked, before shoveling a large portion into his mouth with a triumphant look. Kiri still and, after glancing at you only once, puffed out his chest.
âOh yeah? Well Iâm a real man too!â
You couldnât stop him in time, only staring wide-eyed at your crush as he grabbed Kaminariâs uneaten bowl and took a bit bite from it. His face was frozen in its usual smile for only a second, before it crumbled. Cheeks bright, tears streamed down his face as he worked to swallow the concoction. âS-See? Easy!â His voice cracked, and not even you could hold down your laugh as you slapped Kiri on the back for a job well done.
âDonât torture yourself, man!â
âPut down the poison, Kiri!â
The class cackled at the red-headâs reaction, but he didnât seem to notice as he kept his eyes trained on you. He smiled, despite the tears that ran down his cheeks, and you grinned back before tangling your hand in his. Kiri didnât need to act manly to win your heart; he already won it a long time ago.
If only a certain blonde didnât ruin it with: âHey, keep that romantic crap outta here, Iâm eating!â
#mha#mha writing#mha romance#bnha#bnha writing#mha fanfic#mha fic#bnha fanfic#bnha fic#kirishima#kiri#kiri x reader#kirishima x reader#eijiro kirishima#eijiro x reader#kirishima eijiro#kirishima eijiro x reader#eijiro kirishima x reader#bnha writings#bnha fluff#mha fluff#mha writings
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1-5! :)
Pretty sure this was from the deep dive asks a while back., sorry for it taking so long! i just didn't have a project to work on, but I do now!! Iâll be answering for the White Lake (temp title) characters, Logan, Nellie, and Charlie. Thank you so much!Â
1. Who are two characters that donât like each other? What do they reveal about each other to the readers? Will they ever learn to put aside their differences?
Logan and Nellie have a bunch of tension at first, honestly. Logan is stubborn, but Nellie is more so, and both want opposite things. They also have a weird initial dynamic of âwe were like... friend adjacent in high school, haven't talked to each other since, so we feel like we know the other but weâve really barely exchanged a few words outside of class projects.â They were both the school weirdos and stuck together out of necessity, not real friendship, even tho both consider the other a friend even tho they really arenât, so it leads to a lot of âi think you are this way but you arent behaving this way, why the hell wont you behave this way??â bc of the other like... placing what they want the other to be like onto them. if that makes even a lick of sense. I guess it all reveals what they want in a friend to the reader, bc they assume the other to be their Ideal Friend since they have nothing to confirm nor deny that. But its more of a âwhat you want versus what you needâ thing. Nellie wants someone who will listen to her and let her protect them without asking questions bc not listening and asking too many questions that nell couldn't answer got her one actual friend killed. Logan wants someone who just accepts his weirdness and doesn't try to push him. But Nell is pushy when she thinks sheâs right (and tbh she usually is), and Logan is curious, and its a mess at first. They do put aside their differences tho. Nell is determined as hell and she realized at some point that she needs to work with Logan to keep him safe, and Logan learns that he needs to teach Nell how to accommodate his autism (that he doesn't know is autism because his parents suck) because she has no idea and just thinks heâs being difficult and has to meet her halfway too. Its messy but they work it out and become way way better friends because of it.
2. What do you hope readers will take away from your WIP? Is there an intentional theme (or themes) to the story?
I mean thereâs not an intentional theme to it. I definitely want people to be unsettled and a little freaked out, I am intending it to be like... romantic era horror level horror book, if that makes sense. more atmospheric and eerie then âim actually going scream I'm so afraidâ horror. But also themes of friendship maybe? idk I haven't decided if there will be romance yet but definitely friendship and found family stuff.
3. What do you love most about your protagonist? (It can be something youâd admire in them if they were real, or something interesting about them as a character.)
Oh jeez. I love how determined Nell is to protect Logan. She doesn't always do it right, because misunderstandings and her idea of safe is different than his idea of happy and she needs to learn that he might be safer with her way but heâd be miserable. She just loves her people so much and sheâs determined not to fail again, but its all coming from a place of deep love and I really admire how much sheâs willing to put into keeping her family together. For Logan I admire how strong he is honestly. He lives in a really conservative, ableist town with parents who think he's just being difficult when its not his fault he's neurodivergent, but he knows who he is and what he needs and even when Nell is trying to push her beliefs about him onto him he stands strong in who he is. He knows heâs not wrong. Heâs just lonely because no one else knows that. Its really admirable in my opinion (maybe because I've never been able to do that with my neurodivergencies and I'm definitely projecting but whateverrrrrrr). Heâs also a really good friend, heâs just not given many chances to be that. As for Charlie I just love how happy they are. They try so hard to get Nell and Logan to get along, and they are always smiling even when they are the one who has the most reasons to be miserable (considering they did you know. die horrifically and are now trapped by an eldrich lake)They are always pushing themself to make others happy, even at their own expense, and while its not a trait I admire, it is one that I love in characters because I just love the hurt comfort when they break :3 also they are just fun as hell and I love my little extrovert cinnamon roll (who is way more devious than they seem but thats what happens when you basically grow up and then spend about 130 years with a ghost circus)
4. Is there anything in the story that is implied, but not directly stated? Will this become more relevant later on? How perceptive would a reader have to be to pick up on this?
A lot of the lake stuff is implied at first, and there's a big misdirect, but it gets cleared up after just a bit so I don't think it counts. Um... idk ok I haven't even written draft one yet so idk what will be implied vs told I'm a pantser I've got about 6 plot point checkpoints and a vague idea of progression here most of this is being bs-ed. Im not even sure yet if I'm making Logan a trans guy or if there will be romance or anyoneâs sexualities besides Nellie (who is v much a lesbian) Iâll get back to you on this. Although wait actually - Logan never gets his autism diagnosed, I know that, so that is implied but it's like. heavily implied so you won't have to be super perceptive to figure it out. Iâm not doing any -coded stuff, he is, he just lives in a shitty town with no therapists for anyone to talk to. kinda hard to go to a therapist not from town and go âyea my best friends are ghosts, my town is actively trying to kill me, sorry im late the road disappeared how are you today?â you feel? no one in this town gets any goddamn therapy. But its not explicit no.Â
5. Which character has the most intricate backstory? Is this backstory common knowledge from the start, or is it revealed later on? How does this backstory affect the narrative?
Oh man uh... I guess Charlie has the most intricate backstory? definitely, the longest since they did die in the 1890s. In a fire. While they were trapped in a tiny ass box. in the middle of said fire. and burned alive. .... What i said it was horror didn't i?? Charlie has some SERIOUS claustrophobia my guys. Itâs common knowledge to the circus folks how Charlie died, they sorta agree its the worst of them all. Everyone died from the fire but only Charlie was trapped in such a small space unable to get out. They are the contortionist of the circus, it was a combo act with the magician who locked them in this way-too-small box and was going to make them disappear when the fire started and he ran off to help people and forgot them in the box. Heâs super apologetic and Charlie only sorta still blames him. Logan and Nellie know that Charlie died in the fire but they don't find out until later exactly how. Idk how much it affects the narrative yet, but it does affect how Charlie interacts with the other circus performers since they tend to be mother hen-y around them, tho that also has to do with, again, charlie basically being raised by the whole crew. they ran away at like 11-12 or so to join, so yea, especially the people who have been there forever tend to view them as their kid in a way. It takes a village after all. But whether it affects the whole story, idk, again haven't started it yet.Â
thanks again for the asks, and im sorry it took so long!Â
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(Prompts with boxes have been taken, highlighted have been written.)
I have requests and ideas for all of the prompts, so no more requests from this card will be accepted. Iâm planning on writing and posting all of these within the month of December and probably a bit into January. If you donât want to see these stories, block the tag #false bthb, if you would like to be tagged in future stories shoot me an ask!
This prompt got away from me a bit so itâs split into two parts. The prompt comes into play in this second part. Requested by @atlasistryingherbestâ I hope you like the last part!
General taglist: @im-an-anxious-wreck
My Sunshine Part 2
Summary: Patton thinks heâs finally caught the break he needs when he finds and falls in love with Roman. Ignoring the warning signs until itâs too late Patton ends up losing more than he had dared to gain.
Warnings: contains human trafficking, implied non consensual sex, unsympathetic Roman and starvation
Prompt: Denied food as Punishment
Ships: Royality, Patton x Roman
WC: 3, 284
Bustling around their bedroom, Patton quickly threw the books heâd need into his bag before cramming it shut with a huff and throwing it none too gently over his shoulder in his haste to leave. Hearing the car horn honk again he slipped on his shoes and practically ran out the door, a grateful smile on his face even in the wake of his boyfriends impatience. Roman insisted on driving him to the campus even if it wasnât that much of a walk, meaning he could sleep in a little later which he definitely needed even if he was only working one job now. He had been convinced the third month they lived together that the rent was cheap enough for him to only have to work one job- and it surprisingly was for it being a bigger and better apartment than his old one. He knew Roman probably hadnât split the rent evenly and he would really have to bring that up with him eventually so he could feel more helpful than he was being but for now as long as it was okay with Roman he felt alright using the extra money to help buy groceries and to start building his savings back up; theyâd have that conversation when he felt stable enough to actually back up what he would be offering.
Sliding into the car with a ready smile they shared a quick kiss before Patton buckled himself in and they began to move towards his college. He gripped the straps of his backpack and relaxed in the seat processing just how much his life was turning around and how lucky he was that he head found Roman- or rather that Romann had found him. He brushed that thought aside quickly; he had never brought up the fact that he had noticed Romanâs car practically everywhere significant he went, chalking it up as either coincidence or happenstance. He trusted the other now wholeheartedly and it wouldnât do any good to bring up his nervousness now nearly half a year into their relationship. Spring break was coming up and he knew Roman was planning a small trip to relax, they shared nearly everything they had in the apartment, grocery getting and meal making was always an even split between them and he could never have asked for a better listener than Roman. For the first time in a long time Patton was completely happy; he wasnât about to start questioning things and ruin it.
âWeâre here, my sunshine.â Romanâs voice brought him out of his thoughts abruptly and he leaned back up and smiled. âYou were miles away love, are you alright?â
Leaning over and pecking his boyfriend on the cheek, Patton unbuckled his seatbelt and sat his bag on his shoulder as he opened the door. âJust thinking about my classes, it's gonna be busy today. Thanks for the ride Roman, I hope you have a good day at work.â
Before he could leave his wrist was caught in a vice grip making his heart leap in his throat. Forcing himself to calm down Patton turned only to be met with a loving smile that immediately set his nerves somewhat at ease. âNo proper kiss this morning then?â
Patton laughed and leaned back in, capturing the otherâs lips somewhat messily and wriggling his hand free with a little effort, finally escaping the car and waving. âI have to go you goof! See you later.â
He didnât watch the car leave as he walked to his first class, heart still beating a little faster than normal but chiding himself internally to calm down already. Roman was needy with physical affection that was all, no need for alarm bells to go off every time something like that happened. It was just- that happened a lot. Even on days Patton didnât particularly want touched but that was just what you did in a relationship. He thought so anyway having nothing to compare it to. He shook himself out of his thoughts again, appalled at the line they had crossed. Roman was gone a lot for his job, he didnât really know what he did other than âbusinessâ but it sounded important and it meant he was often out of town for the day, so it made sense heâd be more touchy and affection neddy after such long days working so hard at what he did. The least Patton could do was reciprocate and not be so ungrateful, even if it was only in his head.
Classes went by surprisingly quickly; unfortunately with spring break approaching it meant there would be a lot of projects and essays being piled on as a final hurrah before the two blissful weeks of doing nothing but his job. Bag full to bursting with papers and notes and an extra book or two he sighed as he realized he still had his shift to cover at that restaurant before he could go home. He took a deep breath as he began to get overwhelmed, thinking of work schedules and homework schedules and how much of what projects he could get done before, during and after the break was making his head spin. He knew this would all be worth it afterwards, being able to put all of the busy work behind him and be able to figure out what he wanted to major in and focus on that instead of math he barely understood and classic literature that was nice but frankly did not belong on his priority list right now.
It dinât take him long to get to the restaurant but when he did the full parking lot made him want to turn right back around and go home. It was going to be so busy and with him already being so tired he wasnât going to lie to himself and say this would be an easy shift. No breaks would be had meaning all the school work he had would have to wait until he got home. Sighing and squaring his shoulders he went in, donned his apron and watched as his switch practically bolted out after waving to his nearly full to bursting section. Plastering on his favorite smile and whipping out the notepad and pen he started towards the closest table and hoped for the best.
-----
Hoping, as it turned out, wasnât suited for high stress situations in which at any given moment he could feel his sanity slipping away from him.
Since quitting the job at the warehouse he had taken up a couple more hours at the restaurant to make up for the lack of a second paycheck even though living with Roman made money troubleâs much easier to handle. Which meant he was running around on his feet more rather than splitting that with ;lifting heavy boxes , which in and of itself wasnât bad, but that was on a good day. This was decidedly not a good day. It had been so busy that when one table emptied it seemed he had scarcely wiped it down before it was being taken over by another family or couple waiting impatiently for their orders to be taken and their food to be made and brought out. No matter how much he smiled and suppressed his tears at being insulted or yelled at and pushed down the frustration of being left a one dollar tip or none at all the afternoon turned to late evening and it still hadnât gotten any better.
His shift was finally ended with one last wipe down of a table and he trudged into the back room utterly exhausted, dragging his feet behind him with every step and his thoughts only filled with a hot shower and bed. Swinging up his heavy backpack reminded him however of all the work he had yet to get done and he felt tears threatening to spill all over again. He was so tired, he just wanted to sleep after the incredibly crappy day he had had and on top of all that he remembered it was his turn to make dinner. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly Patton stumbled out of the restaurant and towards the parking lot searching for Romanâs car since he had taken to picking him up from work since the move. No dark blue Sudan to be seen. For once, when he was looking for it and not searching nervously for it back before he had met Roman, the ever present car was nowhere to be seen. Adding insult to injury it started to rain slightly, prompting his tired legs to move quicker to avoid the inevitable soaking heâd get.
He was halfway home when a car pulled up beside him, his mind telling him to run and his heart clenching with nerves before a voice- Romanâs voice, called to him as he got out of the car.
âPatton, Iâm so sorry! Jeez, come get in the car!â Numbly Patton followed him to the passenger side where he was buckled in and his bag set on the floor, too tired to wave off Romanâs apology as he slumped into the seat. He was too tired for anything really, chin touching his chest more than once on the short drive home. He heard Roman chuckle softly as the engine shut off and he struggled to get his eyes open enough to unbuckle his seatbelt and leave the car. His door was opened before he could, however, backpack being scooped up and then himself being lifted from his seat as he woke up a bit more and wrapped his arms around Romanâs neck, feeling safe and content and secure.
He was set down on the couch before too long, where he could hear Roman bustling around in the kitchen as he had his eyes closed still. Shooting awake and up after a few minutes he made his way over and began rolling up his sleeves, intent on shooing Roman out of the kitchen so he could make the meal.
âGo back and rest Patton.â Roman didnât even look up from where he was slicing tomatoes.
Huffing at the dismissive tone, Patton shook his head and grabbed out the chicken patties from the freezer. âItâs my turn to make dinner that isnât fair.â
Setting the knife down, Roman gently pried the box out of his hands and steered him back to the couch. âWhat isnât fair is that you had a rough day and then you had to walk halfway home in the rain and are now exhausted. Take a quick nap Sunshine; Iâll wake you for dinner and then I can help you to organize your school things so that you donât have to be so worried about it okay?â
âRoman-â He was stopped by a finger to his lips.
âWhat kind of Prince Charming would I be if I couldnât help my damsel in distress?â Patton giggled and leaned into the forehead kiss, relaxing back into the couch and closing his eyes.
-----
He hardly remembered scarfing down his dinner or Roman helping him organize his planner. If he could get just a little bit done each day he shouldnât be thrown too far off schedule and he might actually be able to enjoy his break. Exhaustion dragged his eyelids down and he settled back into Romanâs strong chest and open arms, smiling contentedly as he felt himself be wrapped up in warmth. Everything was so fuzzy, and he was so tired-
âDid you think maybe youâd be a lot less stressed if you didn't have to work at that restaurant anymore?â
The question nearly succeeded at jarring him awake but with Roman gently rocking him and petting through his hair it hardly seemed to matter. He merely hummed in response, barely entertaining the thought as Roamn shifted seemingly to get more comfortable.
âI could even write an email of resignation for you. All you would have to do is sign off on it.â
Patton hummed again, shaking his head slightly though he wasnât sure if Roman noticed. He liked his job; sure it got frantic and frustrating sometimes but he could handle it. He had to, how else would he help pay for staying here? Loving as Roman was Patton doubted heâd want to-
âI can fully support you without any problems my love. Youâre going to college, that should be the only stress someone like you should have to worry about.â
Faintly he heard typing but it was so distant he could barely concentrate on it. He was so warm and floaty and comfortable and safe- it was fine, theyâd talk it over more tomorrow, Roman would never make a decision lille that for him while he was halfway to Dreamland.
âSleep well my sunshine. Iâll take care of everything.â And with a final kiss to the top of his head, Patton was gone, drifting off peacefully in Romanâs arms.
-----
âYou agreed it was for the best!â
âI was ASLEEP, Roman! How am I supposed to support myself now? They already had a replacement filling in for me, I can;t go back now!â
âThen it was probably for the best that you got out before they fired you!â
âWhy on EARTH-â Patton took a deep breath and held it before letting it out in a whoosh. âThey always have temps as back ups, especially in a college town, Roman. And since âIâ quit, Iâll have a really hard time getting back in.â
âBut I can help you with that-â
âI didnât ask you to-â
âIt doesnât matter!â Patton took a step back, fear crossing over his features at the darker tone Romanâs voice had adopted. His angry expression smoothed out after a second, but Patton didnât miss the way hsis fingers twitched. This wasnât really the first time Patton had been afraid in their relationship but this is just what people did- at least he thought. Roman must love him, thatâs why heâd been taking care of him and why when he saw Patton so stressed he had only wanted to take that stress away- Patton really had been an idiot. Hanging his head in shame he walked forward and gently brushed his fingers against Romanâs.
âIâm sorry. I know you were trying to help, I just- I was so tired yesterday, I wish you would have let me think it through properly. I donât want to be a burden to you.â
Oh, my sunshine.â Roman leaned down to press his cheek against the top of Pattonâs head. âYou never could be.â
-----
âYou never could be.â So many months later and those words still ring painfully in Pattonâs head. Stupid. He had been so stupid. There had been so many warning signs and yet Patton had been too stupid and selfish to see them for what they were and now...he looked mournfully down as his thin frame, skin stretched taunt over what little muscle he had. He was cold. He was miserable. He wanted nothing more than to back in his shitty apartment with his two jobs and college classes he had been trying his best at; but instead he was here, sitting in a dingy room while he waited for someone else to pay for him to make their fantasy come true.
It had been the little things: Roman always being out of town âon businessâ he would say. Patton scoffed quietly. Some business. The second cell phone that he had found while cleaning, anger crossing Romanâs features before he brushed it off as his work phone, snatching it away just a little too forcefully to avoid suspicion. Then there was that night, his third night of break where Roman had sprung a surprise trip on him âto a nice hotel and restaurantâ and too tired and worn to decline Patton of course agreed, glad to be away from the textbooks for little while at the very least.
He had been told to dress nice, some stopping Roman in the hotelâs hall but he had waved him towards the room saying he was just paying room service early. But Patton had seen the huge money exchange and his suspicion seemed to immediately be founded, but where was he supposed to go? H knew n one except Roman, his work contacts were strangers now, he couldnât call or just simply go home. He was completely and utterly trapped. And Roman knew it. The entire ride to the restaurant Patton had wanted to throw up. He knew what was going to happen but there was no out for him. He was terrified. Terrified to go with Roman but terrified to even attempt escape. He didnât know how long he had been stalking him, whether it had been when he first noticed the caar across his apartment building or even earlier than that. He should have trusted his instincts, called the police, anything other than brush it off as coincidence and then as an even bigger one when it turned out to be his date's car. He should have left the first time he got scared around Roman, the first time he noticed he was off but he hadnât, because Roman was his dream come true, the answer to all his problems, his knight in shining armor come to help him get back on his feet.
Instead he was led into a darkened restaurant where he was stared at while Roman left, coming back with a notebook and showing him all the expenses he had managed to wrack up from what he had taken as Roman being sweet and kind. Every rent bill, overdue book, gas, groceries, heating- he had kept tabs on all of it. And It was all very, very expensive.
âHere's what's going to happen.â He had said. âWe need a new face to bring in business, so I found you. Youâll work and pay me back every centt, and then you can go. In exchange you get a free ride through college. Fair?â
And in that moment, that crucial moment, Patton simply nodded. What was he supposed to do? Say no? He knew now what saying no would have risked and his stomach growled painfully at the reminder of the punishment he was carrying out. âDeny a client,â he had said. âDeny me and I promise you you wonât want to do it again.â The warning was always close to the forefront of his mind, though he did stills lip up now and then. A no meant no food for the day, since he had already lost the money it was only fair he lost a meal. Simple on paper, excruciatingly difficult in practice.
He curled further into himself as his stomach growled again, going on the third day of his punishment, too tired to care, too utterly exhausted to question when his fall classes started so he could attempt to fix himself up before then. He existed, he floated and that was enough for everyone who came in the room at any given moment, so of course it had to be enough for him.
Patton existed, and his stomach growled and his muscled tightened when he thought he heard noises from outside and his eyes squeezed shut when they dared threaten to let any of his unshed tears fall because the last time he had gotten dehydrated no one had cared until he couldnât be woken up for an hour. His joints creaked under the weight of his odd position but it didnât matter, nothing did. He existed and he floated and his groaned and his stomach growled and curled tighter when he thought he heard noises.
And that was enough.
This work is also available on AO3!
#false wries#false bthb#bthb#bad things happen bingo#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#patton sanders#roman sanders#unsympathetic Roman#food mention tw#denied food as punishment#human trafficking#human trafficking tw#captivity tw#implied non censensual touch#betrayal
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