#ive had this scheduled since may. um

[motherearthsplantasia1976]

[mydearesthrry]

harry’s house home - h.s.

a/n: this is the cheesiest thing ive ever written okay. like its really sweet and almost cringey oopssss sorry. i hope you enjoy anyway !!! (p.s. originally was supposed to be titled harrys mojo dojo casa house but thats for another time)

🎀 warnings/cw: angst, swearing?? i actually dk, fluff, mention of flying anxiety, this is also completely unedited

🐇 pairing: famous!bf!harry styles x fem!reader

💐 wc: 2.1k

summary: it's not home without harry, you've come to realize.

This almost felt like a routine now. 

Lying awake in her king sized bed, she was staring up at projected stars on the ceiling, gnawing on her bottom lip as she let her mind drift away in thought. 

She misses him. Again. 

Due to Harry being on the second Europe/UK leg of tour, she had decided to stay at home for a little until the final show, and it had been a good month since she last saw Harry. She had begun to run on Harry’s time, adjusting her sleep to wherever in the world he was so that she could talk to him. Their time zone differences weren’t gracious enough sadly, and she was wide awake at 3:40 in the morning. 

Harry was busy so she couldn’t call or text him, and she wanted to let everything go as smoothly as they could so he could finally come home. Initially, she let herself be selfish and a bit greedy and took up almost 10 minutes of his time, texting back and forth and allowing her brain to read his responses in his voice. 

Contrary to popular belief, it was easy for y/n and Harry to have a relationship that could withstand whatever problems they may have faced because they communicated, but communication can only get you so far. 

She missed him. 

All-consumingly, selfishly, and overwhelmingly missed him. 

The amount of rocky moments that the couple had endured on the nearly 3 year long running tour had been more than the past 4 years of their relationship combined. Whether it be a schedule conflict, missed dates, late nights when she didn’t even know if he’d be home, nothing could compare to the feeling that she had swirling around in her chest right now. 

They’d gotten into a fight a few days ago and since then she had been hesitant to text and call him in fear that she would ruin his day, or even worse, his shows. She knew well that he wouldn’t let it show to his millions of fans, but she could read him like an open book and the guilt that would swell in her body would just make her shut down. But it was getting hard to be alone. It was hard being in such a big house that was filled to the brim with reminders of him, which in turn would remind her that she was alone and that he was on the other side of the world.

She allowed her emotions to take the reins, and as she slowly started to feel everything, she could feel a harsh tug in her chest. She put a hand to her heart, letting out a deep exhale as she felt the familiar sting of tears tingle her nose, sinuses becoming stuffy immediately. She scrunched up her nose, allowing the tears to fill her eyes as she let out her first breathy sob. It wasn’t uncommon for her now to cry over missing Harry. In fact, she’s never even told him the extent of how much she missed him, and just tried to deal with it on her own. But this time, she didn’t feel like she was strong enough to just let it pass. 

Picking up her phone, she quickly pulled up her favorites list in her phone, sobs still wracking her body as she tapped on Harry’s contact. She sniffled and tried her best to calm herself down as she heard the ringing coming from the phone signifying that he was receiving the call. 

“Hey, ‘M in a meeting. Everything ok?” And just like that, the entire dam broke open, and she let her emotions flood the room she was sitting in. 

“Harry,” she let out a pitiful whine, “I’m sorry I’m calling you like this, I- I knew you were in a meeting, and I’m sorry. And I know we’re in a fight and y’probably don’t want to talk to me, but I just… I need to hear your voice right now.” 

“Oh— um, yeah, hold on, baby. It’s okay, ‘m glad you called me. Give me two seconds, okay? ‘M gonna mute m’self t’tell Jeff I need to take 20, but I’ll be all yours in a sec.” He promises, voice immediately drenched in urgency. 

“Okay,” she whispers weakly, putting the phone on speaker and sinking back down into the mattress, laying the phone on her chest. There was an uncomfortable weight weighing her down from the inside out, and the pressure served as a good reminder to breathe as she anticipated the return of her boyfriend back to the phone. 

“M’kay baby, talk to me. What’s the matter? Are you okay?” His voice exits from her speaker, another whimper emitting from her throat without warning. 

“I jus— God, H. It’s so pathetic,” she sniffles, placing her hands over her eyes. “I jus’ miss you. So much.” 

“Oh lovie,” a few soft shuffles are heard from his end of the line, and you can only assume he found a quiet place to sit down. “I miss y’so so much more.” 

She nods even though she knows he can’t see her, but she knows her sweet boy knows her so well. “‘M trying to be supportive, trying to not freak out about you not being here, but it’s so hard, H.” 

Trying to stifle the aggressive breaths leaving her mouth, she composed the best she can before speaking again. “I just want you to come home. I know I’ll be with you in a couple of days, but I just want you home. ‘M sorry, it’s so selfish of me to say this when you’re all alo-“ 

“Shh, my love. It’s okay. Take deep breaths, can y’do that for me first really quick, sweet girl? Sweet sunshine baby, miss you so much.” Harry cuts her off, knowing that she would cry and gasp her way into a potentially dangerous situation, and he couldn’t handle the thought of her being in danger especially when he wasn’t there. 

“Okay, fuck, ‘M so sorry, H.” She breathes out, voice still wobbly, her breathing becoming a little more stable by the second. 

“You don’t have to be sorry, ‘s what I'm here for, isn’t it? Now, tell me what’s got you so upset that you’ve cried y’self out so hard that y’got a killer headache right now?” His lips quirk up at the soft, barely noticeable laugh coming from the other end of the line. One that probably would’ve gone unnoticed to anyone else, but not to Harry. 

“How’d you know? Hurts like hell, though. But, um— I miss you, a lot, obviously. And I hate that we’ve been fighting more now that you’re on the road again and I’m not with you, it doesn’t feel good because all I want is you here with me. All I want is you to come home. It- it feels so empty without you here.” 

“Princess, I-“ he starts, but she cuts him off before he could continue. 

“In all four years of our relationship, it’s never been so hard for us to be- us? And I thought about it, y’know, been crying myself to death over you, Mr. Styles, you’re quite the heartthrob. Literally.” You snort softly, trying to break the ice. Her lips draw up when she hears a matching chuckle coming from him. 

“Tell me then, what’d you realize, silly girl?” He says. 

“I don’t feel like I can be away form you for too long. It doesn’t feel like home here, and I think,” She whispers. “None of our places feel like home when you're not there. I think home has always been wherever you are.”

“Lovie,” Harry’s voice breaks, a telltale sign that he too was feeling the swell of emotion. “Y’breaking m’heart over here.”

“I’m sorry, I just– y'told me to be honest and you needed-”

“I needed to know. Thank y’for telling me, but I’ll see you so soon, Angel. Actually, I can even-” His voice cuts before more rustling is heard, and she can hear the muffled sounds of Harry’s voice, so she assumes that he’s pressed the phone to his chest. A few more brief hums are heard before a muffled ‘thank you!’ makes her brows furrow. “Right then, what’re you doing in like, say 4 to 5 hours?” 

She makes a confused face at this. “What? Uh– nothing, why?”

“You’re coming home, baby.”

—

After exclamations of shock were given to Harry, he excuses himself from the call to get back to his meeting, leaving Y/N laying in her bed staring at the same stars that watched her weep in shock. She sits up with her hands on the white duvet, eyes wide as she whispers out, “I have to pack.”

Jumping out of her bed, she wheels her extra large suitcase out of hers and H’s shared walk-in closet, her green Pleasing beach bag already resting on one of the hooks on the bedroom door. A flurry of clothes, toiletries, makeup, and hair equipment gets sporadically thrown around the room, everything ultimately ending up in her suitcase. She places her more important items into her beach bag which now worked as her carry-on, and wheels everything out into the foyer. 

Checking the time which now reads 6:30, she calls for an Uber to arrive at their house to transport her to the LAX airport. Her flight was set to leave in 2 and half hours, leaving her with just enough time to check in, find her gate, and grab a coffee once she's got to her terminal.

—

The long flight went just as expected, her fear of flying slightly eliminated by the (in her opinion, wildly unnecessary) first-class seating, courtesy of her incredibly dramatic boyfriend. She fell asleep 2 hours into the flight and slept for the majority of the it, her lack of sleep finally catching up to her. Waking up about 30 minutes before landing, she twists her head to open the window door, being greeted with the softest sunset she’s convinced she’s ever seen. And suddenly, her chest doesn’t feel as tight anymore.

The baggage claim was a wreck, delaying her from seeing Harry by another hour, but eventually, she made it into the car of the driver that Harry sent. Staring out the window, the condensation from the weather outside slightly obstructed her view of the beautiful city that she’d never seen before, and all she could think about was how she wanted to experience it with her love. 

“Ma’am, we’re here.” The driver calls from the front, distracting her from her thoughts. Thanking him profusely, she jumps out of the vehicle, running toward the back entrance that Jeff had texted her to go to. The security guard at the door, James, a kind older man who she’s known since she started dating Harry, opens his arms and greets her with a smile. She grins and runs into his arms, James lifting her a little. Her dynamic with James reminded her of the relationship she'd had with her late father, and that made him even more important and special to her. 

“Mi sonrisa,” She looks at him with a bright smile. “Welcome back.” 

“Muchas gracias, te he extrañado,” She greets back, grabbing the VIP pass that he’d pulled out of his pocket. “I’ll see you in a few, thank you for waiting for me!” 

A wide grin is now plastered on her face, nearly splitting her face in half. This is where she belonged. Skipping down the halls of the venue, occasionally asking a worker passing by where the hallways were to get to the dressing rooms. Once she finally found them, she walked up to Harry’s, a nervous twinge making itself known in her tummy. Raising a fist to knock, she taps on the door softly with her knuckles, waiting for Harry to answer the door. She doesn’t even have time to register that the door opened at all before she’s grabbed by Harry and immediately pulled into his arms.

“My sweet love,” His voice is hoarse, strained, almost as if he’d been crying. He pulls her back just enough to see her face, a soft smile on his face and green eyes shiny with tears. He places a kiss on her forehead, before dipping down to be eye level with her and laying the softest kiss on her lips. It was featherlight, and the room was quiet, so quiet, that the only sounds that were heard were their soft, slowly interconnecting breaths, and the soft smack of their lips breaking. Harry stared at her face once more, Y/N sharing the same sentiment, nothing but pure understanding in both of their eyes. It was Y/N who broke first this time, connecting their lips in a deeper, meaningful kiss. 

When they both pulled away, Harry pressed another kiss to her temple before cradling the back of her head with his hand, bringing her face into his neck. Tilting his head down to have his lips leveled with her ear, he whispered, “Welcome home.”

✿✿✿

[tryhardgwen]

rs archive 03/12/2024:

I'm interested to know what your writing process is like! I know you have several wips right now (and I'm so excited to get to read them hopefully in the future) so how do you choose what to work on? Do you just write on the wip depending on your mood for the day? or do you stick to one until you finish it and then move on to the next one? Do you also do outlines or just go in with feelings?

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION SINCE I MADE MY RETROSPRING ANON I QUITE LITERALLY LOVE YOU (yes... i am an attention whore and narcissist that likes talking about myself i am so sorry) but . um. sorry i get excited. i just like chatting and discussing things 🥹🥹

so one thing about me is i TRY to choose what to work on and make lists but i ultimately fail. i don't control shit. you will see my tweet about wip lists on twt "i will finish gumakeria aml spinoff for valentines day" no im fucking not. "ok i work on this in march, this during summer..." no i absolutely wont. im not listening to a thing. i just work on whatever im inspired by atm. its all very messy and uncoordinated. i have wips from last year i haven't finished, yet i have a published fic that i thought of and completed in two weeks (??). make it make sense. some of my older wips need to be let out of the dungeon i nEED to work on them. SOME OF THEM DONT EVEN MAKE SENSE TO BE RELEASED ANYMORE BECAUSE ITS LIKE TIME-RELATED AND my own self ruined that. like i have 2023 summer fics in the works. i could've written and released them during worlds?? but no i worked on aml instead. by the time i release those time-relevant fics its going to be so long ago. will anyone care about them? should i even write them at this point? i don't know. :| why am i a mess. my mind is literally a mess. why do i do this to myself.

so yeah, i just choose to work on based on vibes/how i feel which leads to a lot of fics in the dungeon. i will eventually get re-inspired and finish those, but who knows how long that's going to take. i do work on one wip at a time pretty much, but not necessarily until i finish it. oftentimes ill choose an idea and finish it then move onto the next one, but like i said, sometimes i will abandon said wip to go work on and finish another. i have like 10k of a camp half blood au rotting in the dungeon. also 8k of this piltover au gumaoner ive been trying to finish since may of last year. longfics also fuck up my schedule a bit because of how... long they are. i usually work on them consistently for quite a while and work on other smaller fics in the meantime. i think i started the hunger games au in may of 2023? im not even close to done because i kinda jotted down the starting ideas, didn't touch it until november (so, after i finished writing "all my love"), and then like didnt touch it all of worlds bc i was pissed off at it. then i picked it up again in 2024 (rewriting all 50k i had written previously) and that's what im working on in the background rn. "background" as in i will put it aside if i have a shorter fic idea to work on and quickly publish. like i abandoned it for 2 weeks to work on the kindred showmaker&chovy fic. you see what i mean?

all my wips typically start with an idea and one or two lines of dialogue. ("imagine being loved by me" started with the two lines "where do i belong / with me, of course.") or i'll listen to music to get an idea which the lines/scene then spawn from, or i see some picture of some proplayer (keria with "don't blame me") ill jot them on a google doc or a discord server, and then when im inspired ill expand on it, and eventually finish it! a lot of my scene ideas happen in my head before writing. sometimes ill think whole scenes through in my head, including dialogue and actions, before putting it to paper (or, document on the computer i guess). other times it just comes as i write. sometimes i write fics in one sitting ("homemade dynamite") but most of the time its longer than that, whether it be a week or like, months lol.

as for outlines, i do not use outlines. barely, anyway. honestly, outlines would probably help me a lot! i used them twice i think (both recent fics, huh), once with "take a bite" because fluff is so fucking hard to write i needed help, and another time with "the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb" because i wrote the ending for that fic first and needed help filling it in. but yeah, generally no outlines. oftentimes i have a whole detail of the story in my head to begin with, or i just write and sees what comes out. again, i am not organized in the least. rip me.

i also... don't write chronologically as you might've been able to tell. i like bounce between wips and scenes. the very first scene of aml i wrote was actually the scene of wooje driving the mustang again for the first time in chapter one! typically, like i said, my wip ideas will start with a few scene, and only once i have those down will i write chronologically to link up the other scenes and complete the fic!

soo i hope that sort of like explained/gave you some insight on my very messy writing process (i have a very messy brain.) as a parting gift i will give you a wip list that i will definitely not follow. do not fucking trust me. 1. hunger games au. 2. worlds fakenut. 3. yeah why am i making a list im not going to follow it. BUT I WANT TO FINISH THE HUNGER GAMES AU SO BAD ITS TAKING SO LOOOOONG OH MY GOD. okay, anyway. i love you. thank you so much for asking 🥹🫶🫶!! i hope you have an amazing day <3

[djarinvibe]

I posted 1,845 times in 2021

67 posts created (4%)

1778 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 26.5 posts.

I added 2,151 tags in 2021

#pedro pascal - 624 posts

#the mandalorian - 312 posts

#star wars - 247 posts

#din djarin - 241 posts

#javier peña - 201 posts

#narcos - 184 posts

#marvel - 100 posts

#queue - 89 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 81 posts

#grogu - 72 posts

Longest Tag: 102 characters

#love it when men do the hand on the torso thing idk what else to call it or why it's so sexy but it is

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

After Dark (Mob Boss!Din Djarin x F!Reader) Pt. 4

A/N: Hello gang, sorry this chapter is a bit late. I work retail and they scheduled me 6 days in a row this week-- it was ass. anyways, enjoy <3

Words: 5k (um holy shit??? have a long chapter as a treat yall hahaha)

Warnings: SMUT, oral - female receiving, swears, parental death mentions, child sex trafficking mentions- not detailed. MINORS DNI

Summary: The Mandalorian brings you along to a meeting with his associate, Greef Karga, before taking you to his home.

Italics = flashback // Masterlist

81 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 17:13:51 GMT

#4

After Dark (Mob Boss!Din Djarin x F!Reader) Pt. 5

A/N: Hello everyone! I apologize that this chapter is coming out late. I’ve been so busy with work and life I haven’t had the time to write :( But hey, a chapter is coming your way now! <3

Words: 6.6k

Warnings: reader and mando are lowkey el toxico but its worth it, SMUT 18+ (MINORS DNI), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex- p in v (always wear a condom irl please), dom!din (if you squint), swears, Cobb Vanth x F!Reader (if you squint), parental death mentions

Summary: The Mandalorian has begun to ignore you since your night at his home, and you wonder why.

Italics = Flashback // Masterlist​

89 notes • Posted 2021-11-08 00:30:38 GMT

#3

After Dark (Mob Boss!Din Djarin x F!Reader) Pt.2

A/N: Thank you sm for the positive feedback and everything I got on the last chapter, you guys are truly the best <3 it’s really helped me get back into writing after not really trying for about a year. So fr, thank you <3

Words: 2k

Warnings: swears, minor explicit themes, age-gap (reader is in mid-late twenties)

Summary: You finally serve The Mandalorian and his guests

Masterlist

97 notes • Posted 2021-10-11 19:45:46 GMT

#2

Masterlist

Welcome to my Masterlist! While I may not have a lot of writing posted, I do hope you enjoy your stay <3

Dreams (Din Djarin x Pregnant!Reader): In an attempt to escape from your abusive husband, you stow away on the Mandalorian’s ship. (COMPLETE)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight

After Dark (Mob Boss!Din Djarin x F!Reader): After working at a club named The Cantina for almost a year, you finally meet it’s owner. But the owner seems to have already taken a liking to you. (IN PROGRESS)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

107 notes • Posted 2021-07-05 20:14:49 GMT

#1

After Dark (Mob Boss!Din Djarin x F!Reader) Pt. 1

A/N: okay... so it’s been a year since ive posted a fic oops. Didn’t mean for that to happen. Anyways, enjoy :) Gif Credit: @manny-jacinto

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: swears, parental death mentions, sexual harassment, age-gap (reader is mid-late twenties)

Summary: After working at a club named The Cantina for almost a year, you finally meet it’s owner. But the owner seems to have already taken a liking to you.

Italics = flashback // masterlist

--------

136 notes • Posted 2021-10-06 00:41:30 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[kiragecko]

DC Sidekick Age References

Here’s a dump of all the references I’ve found. Know I’m missing a lot, and quite a few were found on other sites that didn’t give me the most precise info.

If you know of anything else, can correct a mistake you see, or want to discuss comic book aging - please send me an ask, message, or reblog!

?? - means I don’t know where the info is from, “quotes” are direct copies of the wording in the comic

-

?? Parents died when Bruce was 8

Detective Comics #27 (May 1939) – Batman introduced

Detective Comics #38 (Apr 1940)  – Dick is (8 when parents killed/9 when Robin) 12 when he becomes Robin, it's Bruce's 3rd year as Batman

More Fun Comics 73 (Nov 1941) – Green Arrow Introduced

1962 - JLA formed

1964 – Dick teams up with Wally and Garth

Teen Titans 1 (Jan-Feb 1966) – Teen Titans form, Donna is introduced (all 5 are 14ish?)

Detective 359 (Jan 1967) – Babs introduced, has PhD, has graduated

Batman #217 (Dec 1969) – Dick graduates high school, enrolls in University (starts 3 months later)

1971 - Roy discovered using drugs by Ollie and Hal in a drug den (he was trading arrows for drugs), retcon has Wally and Dick discovering him at tower and making him promise to get help

Justice League 116 (Mar-Apr 1975) Charley Parker is 16

Batman Family 10 (Mar-Apr 1977) – Dick is teenager, Babs is 25

Teen Titans 53 (Feb 1978) – Dick, Wally, Donna, Vic all started college at same time

DC Special Series: The Flash Spectacular (May 1978) – Wally graduates high school

New Teen Titans 1 (Nov 1980) – Raven forms New Titans, Gar is 16 during run

New Teen Titans 2 (Dec 1980) – Slade meets team, Grant dies

1981 - Dick drops out of university after 1 semester, he never really was interested

New Teen Titans 20 (June 1982) – Vic turns 19, Donna already is

Tales of the New Teen Titans 2 (July 1982) – Raven turned 18 just before forming Titans

Batman #357 (Mar 1983) – Jason’s first appearance

Detective Comics #526 (May 1983) – Bruce adopts Jason, Dick is there and approving

New Teen Titans 34 (Aug 1983) – Terra turns 16

Batman #368 (Feb 1984) – Dick gives Jason the Robin costume, Jason becomes Robin

Blue Devil(84) – Eddie is 11/12

Tales of the Teen Titans (May 1984) – Joey introduced, Author describes him as 17?

New Teen Titans #39 (Feb 1984) – Dick stops being Robin, Wally quits being a superhero/the team

Tales of the Teen Titans 50 (Feb 1985) – Terry and Donna's wedding (she got married while 19)

New Teen Titans 10 (July 1985) – Kole says she's at least 18

Crisis on Infinite Earths 7 (Oct 1985) – Supergirl dies in Superman’s arms after mostly destroying the Anti-Monitor, who has to flee reality

New Teen Titans 18 (Mar 1986) – Dick turns 20 (“Dick Grayson celebrates his birthday away from home with a traditional Tamaranean feast.” (While sulking because Kory got space-married))

New Teen Titans 20 (May 1986) – Roy locates baby Lian, Terry Long is 29

?? Roy is 22(when he gets Lian)

Batman #404 - Batman Year One (Feb 1987) – Bruce is 25, spent 12 years training, became Batman at 26, Barbara Gordon is pregnant, her and Jim move to Gotham

Detective Comics #571 (Feb 1987) – we see Bruce’s fear gas induced vision of Jason’s tombstone (birth: 1974 – death: 1986, so he’d be 12)

Secret Origins 13 (April 87) – 15 years ago, it was Dick’s 5th birthday. Soon after tenth birthday, parents are killed. [Set during New TT 18])

Batman #409 (July 1987) – Jason becomes Robin (In Detective Comics, Jason has been Robin the whole time, but is still being wwritten with Pre-Crisis personality)

Flash 1 (June 1987) – Wally turns 20

New Teen Titans Ann 3 (Nov 1987) – Danny Chase is 13 and introduced

Batman #416 (Feb 1988) – Dick in Gotham, meets the new Robin on patrol. Confronts Bruce later, says he was ‘fired’ less than a year ago (since then he was briefly in college), makes Bruce admit he missed him. Dick finds Jason again, expose the drug dealers, and Dick gives Jason his old costume (symbolically, since Jason already has one) and a phone number, Dick was Robin for 6 years

Batman #427 (Winter 1988) – Jason dies

Batman #436, Batman: Year Three (Aug 1989) – 2 years since Dick stopped being Bruce’s sidekick (When he became Nightwing? Or when he quit?), parents died 10 years earlier

Batman #441, A Lonely Place of Dying (Nov 1989) – Tim 13, was 7 when Dick’s parents died

Robin #1 (Jan 1991) – Tim debuts as Robin

New Titans 84 (March 1992) – Joey dies

Deathstroke, the Terminator #15 (Oct 1992) – Rose introduced

Team Titans 3 (Nov 1992) – Robert Long is born

Adventures of Superman 500 (June 1993) – Kon appears and escapes from Cadmus with Newboy Legion, John Henry Irons first appearance, Eradicator and Cyborg Superman also appear for first time

Batman: BTAS: Robin’s Reckoning (1993) - 'Richard 'Dick' Grayson: Age 10'

Detective Comics 668 (Nov 1993) – Tim gets license (because dad is disabled) even though he hasn’t turned 16 yet, gets beat up by Jean-Paul

Flash 92 (July 1994) – Bart aged to 14

?? Shortly after Knight’s End – Tim is 15 and in the 10th grade

Flash 0 (Oct 1994) – Wally is 23

Damage 1(94) – Grant is 16

Deathstroke, The Terminator Annual 4 (Aug 1995) – Rose is 14, “What would that do to a kid? A fourteen-year-old girl whose father is an assassin she’s never met?”

Wonder Woman 105(95) – Cassie is 14

Tempest 1(96) – Garth spends many months in other dimension

Aquaman 20 (May 1996) – Garth aged 3-4 years in other dimension, now older than other Titans

Teen Titans 1 (Oct 1996) – Argent, Risk, Joto, Prysm all turn 16(they were conceived by seed things on same day)

Superboy Annual 2 – to Kon: “Happy birthday, Kid - - number one in a long successful series, we hope.” “He will effectively remain sixteen years old - - forever!”

Green Lantern 82(97) – Robert Long is 3

Wonder Woman 121(97) – Terry and Robert die

Secret Origins Giant 1(98) – Bart is “Three. Fifteen. Depends.”, “you’re almost 15, Tim.”

Titans 5(99) – Donna is 23

Titans(99) – Lian is 4

Sins of Youth(99) – Kon 16, aging normally again

Aquaman 63 (Jan 2000) – Future Garth tells granddaughter Donna about Cerdian being born (think this is his weird birth issue)

Wonder Woman Secret Files (2002) – „Wonder Girl is a precocious outgoing 15-year-old named Cassandra „Cassie“ Sandsmark.“

Bruce Wayne: Murderer (2002) – Oracle says Tim is 15

Batgirl #37 (April 2003) – “Cain said ... today was ... my birthday.”

Batgirl #39 (June 2003) – “I see an eighteen-year-old girl, who’s out of her depth.” (Babs about Cass)

Robin #116 (Sept 2003) – Dana: “Oh, I’m so glad we’ll all be together on Thursday ... !” Tim: “Why? What’s Thursday?” Jack: “Yeah. What’s Thursday?” Dana: “Wait a minute – seriously? Tim: “Yeah. Tell. Us.” Dana: “It’s nothing – never mind. Just leave your schedules open for a nice family dinner.”| Jack: “Dana, what’s – “ Dana: “Shh! Thursday ...  the 19th of July ... ?” Jack: “Um ... oh! Right!” | Steph: “So – Thursday!! Are you excited? Got any ideas for it, yet? ... Tim ... ?” [Tim is asleep.] | [Ives and Steph come over, with pizza that says “Happy B-Day Tim.”] Ives: “Sixteen spankings – get that boy up!!” | Dana says: “I remember when I was in 11th grade.” | he also gets the first ‘clue’ for Bruce’s ‘birthday present.’

Teen Titans 1 (Nov 2003) – Gar is 19, Is this Joey’s return?? (He’s puppeting Slade)

Teen Titans ½ (2004) – Rose’s early years, with a ‘6 years ago’ flashback, she was raised in a brothel her mom ran, tutored, never allowed the outside world, but had relationships with kids her age

Detective Comics #790 (Mar 2004) – Jason’s 18th birthday “he would have been 18 today”

Teen Titans 8 (April 2004) – Raven looks 'barely older' than Cassie

TEEN TITANS #1/2 [2004]: The flashback panels totally sync up with my age theories; Flash to 10 years ago: Dick Grayson’s parents die. Flash to 6 years ago: Rose Wilson is schooled at home by her mother, Lili. Flash to 5 years ago: Ravager I is killed. Flash to 3 years ago: Slade is forced to kill Jericho. Flash to 2 years ago: Cadmus attempts to clone Superman. Flash to 18 months ago: Rose deals with the death of her mother. Flash to one week ago: Bart Allen is shot by Slade.

Identity Crisis 4 (Dec 2004) –(Tim still 16)

Green Arrow 47(05) – Mia is 17

Return of Donna Troy 3(05) – Cassie barely 16

Nightwing: Year One(05) – Dick is 26

Batgirl #65 (Aug 2005) – Cass decides to figure out if Shiva is her mom, Jason and Cass roughly the same age

Flash(05/06) – Wally is 26

?? Robin #136 – Tim still 16 ???

Detective Comics #868 (Oct 2010)– Kate is 32 years old??

One Year Later(Mar 06)

Flash 1(06) – Bart 4 years older(20?)

Blue Beetle 2 (June 2006) – Find out Jaime was in space/a pocket dimension for One Year Later

?? Just prior to 52 (July 2006-July 2007)– told Tim is 17 (long before he’s also  17 in Red Robin, 52 is 1 year long)

Teen Titans 42 (Feb 2007) – Eddie is 17

Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds 3-4 (Apr-June 2009) – Bart and Kon back, same as when died

Batman 677 (July 2008) – Batman over 30

Batman: Battle for the Cowl (May-July 2009) – Damian is 10, Ends with Dick and Damian becoming Batman and Robin

Brave & The Bold 2 (May 2007) – Kara is 17, “You have food in the refrigerator older than her, Hal. Who are you, Ollie? No bad thoughts. She’s seventeen.”

Batgirl #1 (Oct 2009) – Steph starting college

Batgirl #7 (Apr 2010) - Damian is "what happens when you work with a 10-year-old."

Red Robin #12 (July 2010) – Tim spent “a few months” looking for evidence before returning to Gotham, becomes emancipated minor

Detective Comics #871 (Jan 2011)– Mention that Dick and Babs went to prom together

Red Robin #25 (Sept 2011) – Tim “and you are only 17”

The Batman Files (Oct 2014) – Jason was 15 at death (seen on death certificate)

?? Rebirth Young Justice series – Cassie: “didn’t mean to end up back in high school feeling - - like I did back when I went to high school.” Later, she says she’s in Metropolis “Working. Going to school in the fall.” So she’s probably starting college.

?? Bart in some Rebirth comic: “Am I six? Am I nineteen? That’s a really freaky thing, right?”

?? At some point: Donna says shes a little older than Kyle

[amarillokidding]

Um so like ive been neglecting to talk about this on here but in March I told the doctor on my checkup that I needed to go back to therapy and medication bc I really did hit a low and was having s**dcidal thoughts and so I've been on antidepressants since then but so far I've only been to therapy like 1 time back in like April lmao. Not my fault bc my therapist said "I won't see you next month bc I'll be on vacation" she was talking about may right??? So I made my appointment just like she told me to and it was on like May 31 that I got the date BUT the receptionist called like two days before and said my therapist was unavailable and I had to reschedule to like June 9 so the day before that rolls around and I get another call from the same receptionist that my therapist was unavailable so I had to reschedule AGAIN to like June 21 and GUESS WHAT HAPPENED 1 HOUR BEFORE THE APPOINTMENT HEUEJBEHJDRJJEJEJEJNEDN my therapist called in sick,???????? So now it's rescheduled again I haven't seen my therapist in like 2 months, I can't even call her my therapist if I only saw her ONE TIME BACK IN APRIL jejiejsbeb?????????????? I'm kinda rightfully upset bc this last time it was like 1 hour before,?!!!!!! The clinic I go to has a strict contract that you can't cancel an appointment if it's less than 24 hours away so that schedules don't clash with the staff and stuff and you get a $50 fee BUT LIKE. THEY CALLED ME 1 hour beforehand as if I hadnt made plans for that day with my mom that were completely ruined when they called me to cancel. bdhdjejjjdugevsg HUH that's so disrespectful of MY TIME what is happening is she OKAY??

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid 193

193 When Lance fell asleep, their roles had reversed. Keith calling Shiro to check in, after overhearing how they hadn’t really talked to anyone. The conversation with his brother wasn’t that long due to him not wanting to leave Lance. Knowing Krolia, whatever advice she’d given him was probably shit, though, as Lance had said, his mother was probably the closest person he could turn to advice for this. Coran may have had a pretty interesting past, but as far as Keith knew, he’d never been on the end of being pregnant. Pidge... wasn’t exactly maternal, and Allura... was Allura. She’d make a good mother... in her own way. Maybe this trip would have been better if they’d invited the others? Not so much Rieva and Matt, but Pidge and Hunk. “Keith?”Hearing Lance call his name, he forced himself out the bathroom. It was now closer to dusk than to dawn. Lance had needed time to cry out his frustrations“Hey, beautiful. How are you feeling?”“Better... thirsty... and sorry”Sorry because they hadn’t been to see his dad yet... Keith was slightly annoyed by that fact, but not mad. Lance hadn’t asked for his ego to start being a pain in the arse, and with all the stress he’d been putting himself under, he really needed the rest“Do you want some blood?”“We didn’t do my injection”Fuck. He hadn’t thought of that“Do you want to go the bathroom, and I’ll get it organised?”“Okay” It felt like nothing now to draw a bit of blood for Lance’s injections. The fear of the curse had lessened. Lance would have never tried to feed off Matt or Rieva, even in a desperate situation. But whether it be luck, or Lance’s own curse, it seemed to kill the werewolf curse before it could turn their twins. Maybe Lance had a point about some of their more careless activities? They shouldn’t be able to stand being in the same room, they both shared moments with their egos that really hurt, but he hadn’t been thinking of his own safety since turning. Just the safety of everyone they called family. Coming back from the bathroom, Lance sat beside him on their bed. Resting his against Keith’s shoulder, he sighed softly “Okay... inject away”The injection always only took a moment. In, inject, out, then Lance would rub at the healing mark. His boyfriend sighing again, overthinking things“You needed to let it out”“I know. I feel like I’ve brought the whole mood down and I hate it. You must be starving”Yep. He was. His metabolism was something crazy. The amount of food he consumed was frankly scary“I’m okay. Here, have some blood and we can think about getting something to eat”“I thought I had this planned. You know? We’d have breakfast, than go see your dad. Clean his grave up. Talk to him... A mental breakdown wasn’t scheduled”“Are they ever? Did mum help?”“She’s no Mami when it comes to advice. She said to chuck my fear out the window”Keith snorted“Right. Because it’s totally that easy. Was she okay?” They didn’t know if she was coming or not. Not with her work schedule. Keith kind of hoped she would, yet she’d made indications of it. Like, would he even recognise his father’s grave? And what did he say? “Yeah. She was her usual self. I called her for advice, but I know she was disappointed it wasn’t you”“Nah. She loves you. I think she even likes you better than me”“She’s your mum. She loves you. She’s pretty worried how this is affecting you. I could tell”“I’m okay... kind of. I’m getting there. Umm... Nothing time with my beautiful boyfriend won’t fix” Lance groaned at him“Babe, you don’t have to try so hard. It’s okay. I’m hardly beautiful... I’m like... the very definition of a wreck right now”“You’ll be okay. Here, wrist or um... neck?”“Wrist... sorry... it’s just easier in this position”“Don’t be sorry. I’m not sorry”He’d noticed something. Lance only liked to feed on his neck when they were making out or in the heat of things. His fingers when Lance was trying to be quite mid do“I am. I love you so much. So so much. I neglected your safety... and you’re still being... so good to me”“Idiot. I love you. Your hunger won’t last forever. I should have gotten some blood into while you slept... it’s bad to let your... um... levels drop”“I’ll be okay. They’re still okay... I think one of them tried to break my rib when I was in the bathroom” Keith loved hearing the twins were moving. Even when it was uncomfortable for Lance, he felt like he was hearing cute stories he wouldn’t be able to forget. He didn’t think he had the patience to be pregnant... which only made him prouder of strength Lance showed“They take after you. All silent and deadly”“Babe, I’m not a fart”Keith hadn’t thought of that, chuckling as he shook his head“I know. You smell awful in a good way. Not like my lactose farts”“Eh. They’re part of you. A couple of wads of tissue up my nose and you’d never tell”“I’ll remember that for next time. Here, eat something. Don’t be afraid if you need a little more” That was something else Keith noticed. Lance took care with the amount of blood he took from him, but the volume seemed like it would be a lot for a human. Very rarely he felt light headed, questioning if he’d be conscious if he was still human. He��d never tell Lance. He’d freak out immediately, plus fluids and a good meal had him back in shape in no time. Lance moaned as he bit into Keith’s wrist, reminding him he’d have to make more of an effort. Maybe it’d be for the best if he ran an IV line for Lance tonight, just to get his hunger knocked on the head completely. Pulling off, Lance lapped at the trails of bloodied spit left on Keith’s arm. The wounds starting to heal instantly“Better?”Catching a few small beads pushed out by the healing wound, Lance hummed “Mmm... I know this isn’t comfortable for you”It shouldn’t have been hot, but it was. It stroked his pride to provide for their boyfriend the one thing he needed above all else“I’m fine, babe. As long as you’ve had enough”“Yeah... I’m good. I’m still sorry. I think I’ve been taking more and more of late”“Nah, it’s fine. But I was thinking we should probably set you up with an IV later, seeing how little you ate today. You need to keep your fluids up”“But keeping my fluids out means I have to pee”Whining at him, Lance was too cute“I love you and your walnut sized bladder anyway”“I think it’s more like a grape at this stage. I’m sorry my ego chuckled a wobbly... and that we spent most of today in bed”“There’s nothing more that I love, than spending the day in bed with you”“Pervert. I’m serious though. I don’t want to be scared like that. I want to see where you grew up. I want to know everything about you. All of it”“You might not like all of it”“I don’t know. I think we both know that I’m like crazy stupid in love with you and all those little things that drive me crazy only make me love you more” Keith groaned softly. He’d become weak to Lance. Last real story he had left to share with his boyfriend was the night Shiro saved his arse. Lance knew most of it. Keith couldn’t remember what he’d told him, nor was he sure why he’d never told him all of it. Being on the streets had taken a toll, and the thought of a warm bed and decent shower left him going with people he already knew were no good for him. They’d offered him a good time when he’d been so completely done with fighting to be alive“Alright. How about we go get dinner and figure things out from there”“Mmmm... sounds good to me. Let me change, then we’ll go”“I probably need to freshen up too”“I hate to say it but we both kind of stink” From sweat. Under the blankets left them both sweating in their sleeps. Lance smelt deader than ever, with Keith not far off. Personally he didn’t mind stinking of Lance, but Lance felt like he needed to do more to protect Keith with things like being careful with his scent“Want to take first shower while I look for somewhere good to eat?”“Sounds like a plan... I... don’t know if I’ll freak out again”“It’s okay. If you do, we can totally go. I know we’re here to see my dad, but your safety and comfort comes first. I don’t want you to think you have to hide things from me”“I know. I won’t take too long”“Don’t go rushing. The last thing we need is for you to slip. That sounded harsher than what I meant”Lance shook his head at him“It’s okay, we both know I’m a klutz. I’ll be careful. We’ve come this far. I’m not about to risk them”“I’m worried about you, too. I don’t want you being hurt”“I’ll be fine... Let me freshen up, then you can take me out for dinner” Lance kissed Keith’s wrist where he’d fed. Keith couldn’t believe the passage of time since meeting Lance had moved so fast. It must have been a year now, or very close to a year. This time last year, he’d have thought himself turned and cursed with a single bite. The Blades really did teach some total bullshit when he stopped to consider all of things he hadn’t thought of before. He’d been such a dumb arse. Luckily he had Lance to set him straight... or not so straight... though he wasn’t sure what he was as it was Lance he loved and not only his physical body. Realising how easily he could fall into an internal debate over all of that, he gave a shake of his head. Lance said he’d let him take him to dinner, so that’s what he was going to do. *Holding Keith’s hand, the freshness of the night felt nice against Lance’s skin. Keith either hadn’t bothered looking up somewhere else to eat, or he’d been trying to please Lance, resulting in dinner at the same restaurant they’d had breakfast at. This time Lance figured out what was wrong with the place. As they’d finished dinner, the waitress had come to collect to their plates, on her arm balanced by the nozzle was a bottle of orange scented surface spray. Being a public restaurant, smells of all sorts bombarded his senses from the moment they walked. With so many scents, he hadn’t consciously noticed the orange surface spray. The fact that Sendak still held such a hold over him left Lance unable to enjoy his meal. The atmosphere of the restaurant was good, Pidge would have loved the idea of sneakily signing them up for the weekend Karaoke competition, then abusing everyone heckling her over bad singing... He missed those days. He missed not being pregnant and not fearing his scent. Heck, he missed ghost hunting. He missed watching Pidge get super enthused as Hunk prayed for it all to be over. The restaurant was the kind of place he could see himself having a few quite drinks had the place been in Garrison. The kind of place that Sal’s had been to them before he’d had to hideaway his changing body. The Lord knew he was looking forward the day they could all go out again. He was going to order the biggest, greasiest, slimiest, cheesiest pizza in existence. Maybe even have Sal get some cigarette ash in there for that true diner flavour... “Want to take a walk?”No. Maybe... He wanted to go home to bed... but he’d spent the day in the hotel room. Staring past Keith, the stars twinkled over the town as if trying to say that nothing bad could ever happen here, which was a bold faced lie if ever there was one. Keith drew strength from the moon, and both of them had eye sight sharp enough to walk around in the dark safely enough... plus... it’d give them time to get the layout of the town down... His boyfriend seemed to be oblivious to internal wavering, Lance wondering if this was his way of easing into things he either wanted to tell, or easing into seeing his father... or even a chance to cover his arse when Shiro asked how much of the town they’d gone out and seen“Sure. There’s a park a few blocks down. I saw it on the town map”“You saw a town map?”“Did you really not look this place up at all? They have a similar lay out to Garrison, which makes sense in a way... they were both trade posts at some time, though I’ve got not idea what they could have pulled out of all the sand”“I didn’t even know that much. It’s like... all I remember is the shack... all of it feels like being on another planet”Lance slid his hand into Keith’s “It’s a good thing I’m here to keep you grounded. Don’t even think about packing your bags for another planet. You’re not leaving me behind”“I’m sure that if I ever got spirited away into space, you’d be right there with me”“Yep. Probably screaming my head off the whole time too”“I think I would be too. Let’s go, I’ll follow your lead”“Don’t you always?” Keith kissed his cheek. Lance blushing lightly as his boyfriend replied “yep”, followed by two more kisses on his cheek. Lance would follow Keith to the ends of the Earth, with Keith just as happy to follow him instead. Unless one of them made the decision, they’d be following each other around in circles for the rest of their lives... That didn’t actually sound too bad... Walking down to the park, the town had a nice vibe to it. Lance felt bad for whoever was in charge of cleaning the park’s rubbish bin after his dinner decided to make a reappearance before they’d reached the toilets towards the middle of the park. Cleaning up, and using the facilities, the pair of them settled themselves down on the swings. It’d been months since he’d been on a swing set, in Cuba, yet it had to be longer for Keith. Dragging his feet in the sand to make a heart, he supposed they looked like a couple of kids up to no good. He’d seen enough memes that he knew adults missed swing sets, and he knew he definitely counted in their ranks. Pushing off lightly, the chain creaked under his weight. A memory of Veronica coming to mind from back when having a baby brother that was a vampire was something cool. He’d wanted to go higher and higher, the pegs of the swing set shaking, so Luis and Marco held it down as he swung as high as he could get. He’d been sure if he’d gotten a little higher he could have looped the chain around the top, but Papi had lost it at the four of them“You seem happy”“Mmm. I like swings”Letting the swing slow naturally, Lance grinned at his boyfriend mischievously. They had the whole playground to themselves “What about you? What’s your favourite piece of playground equipment?” Keith hummed. He’d been making a mound between his shoes, trying to keep the sand from slipping back down “I hate the monkey bars”“Oh? What’d they ever do to you?”“A shit kid at one of the families threw a rock at me because I could pull myself up to sit on top of them. It hit me in the head and I fell off backwards”“Wow. That kid sounds like a wanker”Keith nodded, expression semi serious “They were. I got in trouble for falling off”“That’s kind of what kids do though. They play and climb... it’s what kids are supposed to do”Keith sighed, before shaking his head“It doesn’t matter now. I can’t even remember their face, let alone why they through the rock”“They were probably jealous because you’re so much cooler than them. I bet you were a totally rad kid. I wish I’d known you then” Lance didn’t think about what he’d said. He felt like kicking himself as Keith mumbled “Right. The fucked up orphan no body wanted was a “rad kid””“Hey. No. No. That is not on you. Not at all. Adults are supposed to be there and be the strong ones. Not kids. I sincerely wish I could lord over every single person who hurt you, how fucking amazing you are”Keith gave a scoff of disbelief. Lance saddened that his boyfriend’s anxiety had gotten to him this badly. Climbing off his swing, the vampire wrinkled his nose at the sand pouring into his shoes as he moved to stand behind Keith“What are you doing?”“I’m going to push you?” Wasn’t that obvious? He’d waddled his pregnant arse all the way behind Keith. The only logical conclusion was he was going to push him on the swing“You don’t have to”“Maybe I want to? Maybe I want to play in the park because there’s no one else around. No bad scents. No blood. No spirits. No yucky feelings other than the sand under my socks...”“It is a nice park”“Right? Now, hold on” Pushing Keith on the swing, Keith gradually loosened up, even starting to laugh as Lance backed off and watched“You can do it, babe!”“I’m totally going to jump off, you know that, right?”“It’s like an unwritten law of swinging, seeing how far you can jump”“I think I have an advantage...”“Doesn’t matter. I’m totally challenging you to a swing off once these two are born”“That’s not fair, you’ve got wings”Lance huffed. They had a mind of their own, much like the rest of his body “Which are mostly useless. I can’t even fly around as a bat”“That’s fine. Ready?”“Go for it!” Keith jumped a little too soon, half faceplanting in the sand. With the way he landed, Lance rushed to his side to find his boyfriend laughing“Are you okay?”“I fucked that up”Kicking Keith lightly in the side with the toe of his shoe, his boyfriend rolled over, smiling like an idiot. Lance’s heart had stopped with the way Keith landed, now the idiot was smiling so happy he felt all warm inside “You had me worried!”“I guess I’m not that great at sticking the landing”“You weren’t that great at jumping. You went before the swing was at the right height!”“You make it sound like you’re training me for the Olympics” Channeling the best sports commentator voice he could, Lance’s voice wobbled slightly as he tried not to laugh at how funny he was“You don’t get at a ten-point-zero for your landing. Zero style. Very simplistic. Could this spell the end for Keith Kogane’s budding career before he even goes professional?”Keith laughed. A proper unguarded laugh. Lance feeling the luckiest man in the world to hear it “I’m being serious!”“Uh huh. Sure you are. You know, the stars are really pretty. I feel like I can see them way better than before”“That’s because all your senses increased. Werewolves and vampires are kind of night creatures”“I still don’t know how to turn into a wolf. I don’t know if it counts”“It totally does... Now, are you getting up? Or should I pick you up in the morning?”Keith patted the sand next to him“You could come down here”“Or you could come up here... I’m too pregnant to deal with sand”“Fair point. We have the whole park to ourselves... I don’t think I’ve ever really... just... you know...” That Keith hadn’t played on a playground saddened Lance. Even as an adult, playgrounds were still fun. With no one around to watch them, there was no point being responsible adults“You know, there’s a slide over there... and a flying fox...”“Babe...”Keith tried to dismiss the idea, Lance using “boyfriend” which proved very effective. Damn Pidge. She’d gone and put that back into his head at her birthday party“Come on, it’ll be fun. I mean, I probably can’t use the spinner, not unless you want to scramble the twins, but the slide never gets old”“Fine, but if we get in trouble, you’re taking the blame”Lance shrugged. They weren’t violating any laws that he knew of. They weren’t intoxicated. Nor were they committing property damage or trespassing“The lawyer in me tells me it’s going to be okay”“I’ll remember that when I get my one phone-call”“You better. Though it would be a conflict of interest to represent you, so let’s not get in trouble?” The did indeed get into trouble. Keith got wedged in the kids slide, and Lance was too tall for the flying fox, so that was disappointing. They were still messing around when the lights of a cruiser flashed red and blue, the two of them called over by a police officer who looked unable to catch them, even if they had been human. Swallowing down his fear, Lance took Keith by the hand, walking him over to the officer when Keith kept telling him they should run. Getting closer, the man clearly didn’t expect two fully grown adults to be playing in the park so late at night. “Officer, how are you tonight?”Putting on an air of responsibility, Lance felt he’d be the more convincing adult of the pair of them“I had a call about teenagers mucking around in the park. Want to tell me about it?”Keith snorted with laughter, Lance stepping on his foot to shut him up“That was us, sir. I’m sorry if we created a disturbance. We’re on holiday, you know, before the twins come, and wanted to have a little fun. I had no idea we we’re causing a disturbance” Keith tried to muffle his laughter, Lance mentally rolling his eyes at his boyfriend who was clearly upsetting the police officer. Huffily, the man asked“So I’m not going to find any of that junky paraphernalia you young people are into these days?”“No, sir. I know we might look young, but I’m 46 and my boyfriend here is 28. No drugs, or alcohol, sir”The man looked them up and down, Lance waited for something along the lines of “I wouldn’t lie to a police officer, if I was you”. Instead the man sighed“Look. You can’t be playing in the park at midnight. You’re obviously not locals. You staying at the hotel?”“Yes, sir. My boyfriend is a photographer, we’re travelling to work on his portfolio. Sorry. We wanted to have a little fun with no one around”“I’ll have you save that sort of fun for a more appropriate environment. Get in the back, I’ll give you both a ride back”Lance immediately shook his head“We’re both able to walk back...”“That wasn’t an invitation. We get a lot of blow ins for this damn Easter festival the town insists on having. The last thing I need is the pair of you thinking your entitled to cause trouble. Get in” Lance felt like a scolded school child as he did as he was told, Keith sliding in beside him, though his boyfriend still thought they should run. Clipping their belts in obediently, Lance bit his bottom lip. Maybe they’d gotten carried away? He didn’t think they were being too loud. All they’d been doing was acting like idiots. They hadn’t damaged any property... plus Keith had gotten on the spinner, which had been hilarious given how much strength he could put into a spin. His boyfriend had gotten off with shaky legs, tripped, fell in the grass and burst out laughing. Lance knew he should stay quiet, but this was a golden chance“Excuse me, have you been an officer here very long?”The man met his eyes before pulling away from the park curb“Long enough” Damn. He wasn’t giving him anything“Do you happen to know anything about the fire that took place here about 20 years ago?”Keith’s heart started racing harder. Yeah. He should have been considerate about Keith’s feelings, but this was like the perfect chance“Oh, I know about that fire alright. One dead. 250,000 dollars worth of damages. I don’t know why you’re bringing that up, but you’re best dropping it. A lot of people were hurt by that incident. Damn candle left unattended. The place went up faster than a whore’s knickers drop”“If one wanted to know about the fire, is there a local registrar office?” The office pressed the breaks suddenly, instead of gently stopping at the stop sign“Look. I’m sure you’re nice... whatever you are. But what happened that day is no laughing matter. We lost one of our own that day. It’s an ugly scar on the history of this town and I won’t have the pair of you treating it like a joke”Whelp. He’d gone and made him angry“I mean absolutely no disrespect. It’s such a horrible thing to have happened. When you saw you lost one of your own, I assume you mean an officer?” Resuming driving, the man sighed at him as if he was stupid, their eyes meeting again in the rear view mirror “No. Not an officer. One of our local fire fighters. They tried to stop the blazing jumping house, when the second floor came down. Horrible tragedy. We lost a fine man that day”“Did you know him?”“Aye, we all did. Bit of a loner. Kept to himself, especially after his missus skipped town. Heeee... had a boy from memory. Hard worker though. That boy... he was tiny thing of a kid. Still, he gave everything he could to that boy. He ended up vanishing, just like his mother. Couldn’t tell ya where she went. Up and vanished as suddenly as she appeared here. No idea how the pair of them met, and before we knew it, she was up the duff, then gone a couple of years later. Couldn’t handle the stresses of being a parent, if you ask me anything about it”“And all of this is public record?”“Bits and pieces. Look. I won’t tell you again, losing Joe hurt a lot of people here. He was a good man. Kind of man you never really knew what was thinking. But when he saw his boy, he’d light up like a goddamn Christmas tree. Loved that kid, he did. He was real torn up when his woman shot through, but never blamed his boy. We often used to wonder what happened to that kid, ah, but I suppose it’s one of those things you’d never know” The officer was letting his accent show. Keith seemed on the edge of tears“Say we didn’t want to drop it, is there anyone from around there that we can talk to about it”The man fixed him with a glare“People move on. Dredging that up again is only going to cause pain. If I hear you two are stirring up trouble because your curious over something that is none of your business, I will escort you out of town meself” That mean there were indeed people out there who’d been around at the time of the fire and may remember Keith, and his father... and that the council office should have record that’d help them place the pieces of that day together. The last few minutes of the drive was in silence. The officer having to squidge himself out the door in order to open the back door of the cruiser to let them out. The man really didn’t know what to make of Lance, he got it. He looked like a woman and sounded like a man. Some people were so damn backwards that they couldn’t accept change. Lance still opting to be polite, on the off chance they crossed paths again “Thank you for the ride. We’re sorry we caused you trouble”“Don’t let it happen again. There’s laws about these kinds of things. Consider yourselves both lucky and warned”“Yes, sir. Thank you” As the police cruiser left, Keith collapsed against him, sniffling as tears rolled down his face. His boyfriend wrapping his arms around him with a little too much force“Babe?”“He... loved me”With his arms pinned, Lance could only raise his hand enough to pat Keith’s arm “Yeah, babe. He did. I’m sorry I didn’t ask if it was okay to ask, but the opportunity to know something more was right in front of us”“He... he still went back in... he...”“He loved you. He loved you, and I know I’m not him. I could never know what he was thinking, but I think all he wanted to do was stop the fire before more people were hurt”“He left me”“Not by choice. You heard that guy. He loved you. He adored you. And he was so proud to be your dad. You... you were loved. You are loved”“Can we go back to the room?”Lance’s heart was breaking for his boyfriend. Sure, they’d learned a little and tomorrow Lance wanted to hit up the council to dig up whatever he could on Keith’s father’s past, but right now...“I was thinking the same thing. I want to hold you”“Please?”“Always, babe. Always and forever” ReplyForward

[lesmismignon]

replying to anon messages

In this post I shall reply to the messages that have been sitting in my inbox for a regrettably long period of time. (It is loooooong. Please click “keep reading” at your own risk.)

I’m not a very good correspondent. I’m very sorry. I never know what to say right off the bat, and then during 2019 and 2020 when I was mostly on hiatus, I would just post a chapter or two and poof back out, and on Tumblr I would browse a few things and then poof back out. I do not have a good track record with social media and online presence in general. And with real life problems (mostly due to work), at worst it was impossible to muster even the strength to write. It was maddening.

But there is something about Hellsing and its fandom that reels me back in even when I am far away. Excuse me if this sounds cheesy, but for me fandoms are like the orbit of a comet. If it is something that you loved, and will continue to love even when you are not “active” on it, you will come back to it, someday, somehow. I’ll always be grateful to Hellsing, for being an inspiration to write, for being a bridge to some of my dearest relationships, for some of the kindest messages I’ve ever received in my life.

you freed yourself for a job that was not good for you and related to toxic people (Integra-like – demanding the respect you deserve). That is badass brave – and that doesn’t become less by that fact that maybe the next job you got is not the end of the journey but still part of the way. And you are brave by sharing your work, sharing your stories revealing parts of your emotional world to the outside – that is totally bad as too. I think you can be very proud of you, really. So maybe right now, you might be in situation that does not yet make you happy in way you deserve it. But you know- there is big chance that this is part of your journey to this place – imagine, in some time from now, you may be a successful (brilliant you are already) author and in an interview you say something like “yes, back there in 2016/17 I went through some tough times, that influenced the work very much I got this price for today”. So just in case you maybe cannot see it right now yourself – please allow me to tell you – you are brave and wonderful. And re. the brave decision you mentioned – I know I am not in the position to tell you anything – but please do not do any harm to you. So, thank you so much for your work you share with the world, my life is better with it. Take care for yourself, you deserve the best. (so sorry, I am really not good with words, hope you get my point….)

Anon, this was the kindest thing you could have ever done for little 2016/17 me. Oh God. Time does fly by so fast. I want you to know that I read this message a long time ago, and it gave me strength to go on, even though I’m not sure if I am so brave, to be compared to our lady Integra >< I hope you are happy and safe, wherever you are. I hope you know how brave and wonderful *you* are. Thank you so much.

just wanted to drop by and say I love all your fanfictions! You capture Integra and Alucard's characters so well; I LOVE it. Take all the time you need updating. You deserve it. And good luck at your job! <3

Ah, I probably changed jobs like twice since then. But they have been all good and meaningful in their own ways. I really did not mean to take THIS long in updating but I hope that you enjoyed the recent updates if you are still reading, thank you so much!

Why can I not write here? I just wanted you to know I am grateful for the reading joys that are 'Snow White' and 'Satis'...

Thank you Anon! I am so glad you enjoyed them!

I LOVE SATIS SO MUCH YOUR WRITING IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND FLOWY AND IT MAKES ME CRY PLEASE KEEP UP THE BRILLIANT WORK!!

Thank you Anon! You give me too much praise, but I shall indeed try to keep it up!

Hey so please don't take this as me pressuring you but I absolutely adore Satis! Is there any chance we might know when the next update is coming in? Totally understand if not- it sounds like work is taking a lot out of you and I understand that you're writing fan fiction purely for fun but DAMN IF I DON'T WANT TO READ MORE OF YOUR FIC OMG I LOVE IT SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL!!!

I’m sorry it’s been ages! I’ll tell you my schedule(???) for this year instead! For this year of 2021 I really hope to average maybe at least 1 chapter a month but I don’t know how I’ll fare during the busy months. I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters if you are still reading!

@fierce-little-miana Can you believe that I have just noticed that I had given you any kudos for Snow White or Satis?! Sorry! Your stories are really worth all the praise we can give them. (so I corrected it) Have a nice day!

Thank you! I’m terribly sorry for this late reply. You’ve been so kind and sent so many lovely messages. Thank you again for each and every one of them!

@sinish-tem Hey sorryy for bothering you but. That ALutegra fic was AMAZING!!I LOVE IT!Amazing job sport<3

You’re not bothering me at all! Thank you old sport!

So I don't mean to rush you or be annoying or anything, but is Satis still happening? (plz plz say yes)

You’re not being annoying! I’m sorry it took so long! Yes :)

Hello! So, um, I have to ask... is Satis going to be updated? It’s just that it’s one of my absolute favorite stories by my absolute favorite author!

Thank you! I’m honored! I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters if you’re still reading!

Hi! Are you still around? Are you doing ok?

Yes, I am fine now, thank you :) I hope you are doing well, too!

@aniphine Hi! First off, I want to say that I absolutely love your writing style and am so looking forward to diving into all of your fics! I just finished Satis and it’s definitely in my Top 10 Fanfics ever, which is saying something! Thanks so much for writing it. On that note, I wanted to ask if you had plans to update it? If not, that’s totally cool - what you’ve written already is fantastic. But if so, I’d pledge my life to you in order to get a chance at reading more. 😆 Anyhoo, you’re awesome! 👋

Thank you so much! You are awesome too! I’m honored that Satis is in your top 10!!

@dontfuckingfollowmeifpornblog You still around?

I am now! Thank you!

@comixqueen Hello have I told you that I really love your Hellsing fics? ;u;/ They're among the best out there and I reread them often!

Thank you very much. That means a lot to me from you. Thank you for rereading, I’m always wary of my earlier writing but I’m glad if people still enjoy them.

I have never squealed higher than when I received the notification for the new chapter of Satis. You are a true blessing <3 thank you for your words

You are a blessing! Thank you so much!

Hello! I know you're not very active around here, but I just saw a trailer for a movie based on the letters of Vita and Virginia, and I was immediately reminded of Satis and the quotes you so expertly used in the narration, and I thought I might tell you in case you're interested in the movie (the title is literally Vita and Virginia) <3

Thank you Anon! I did see the trailer! I haven’t seen the movie yet though, but I will, eventually! I am so glad you think I did the quotes justice! It’s such a beautiful quote.

Not sure how to start this, might be a little bold, and yet; let me simply say that I am in love with your written works. In fact, so much so that I read it all again, and again. It never ceases to amaze. And as for you, the person behind it all, you do seem immensely precious as well. I hope that you have the most fantastic day, you deserve no less.

Anon, you are so very kind. Thank you so much for your lovely words. I am just an ordinary person unusually invested in a particular set of fictional characters xD and I am often late to things and a bad correspondent, but I must be doing something right if you’re sending me a message as lovely as this. Thank you again, I hope you are having fantastic days as well.

Honestly ive read your snow white fic years ago but I loved it insanely much and im about to read it again today ^.^

Thank you Anon! Ah, Snow White. I am very glad you still enjoy it. It is so old, and I wish I had the courage to edit it and spruce it up, or even update an extra or two...

Are you ever planning to continue Satis? I’m in love with that piece of work.

Thank you Anon! Yes! I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters!

My literal text to a friend of mine that's also a fan of Satis when I got the AO3 mail about the new chapter was: "NOW THEY'RE FINALLY STARTING TO BE *HAPPY* HOLIDAYS"

I am very glad I was able to bring you holiday cheer. Would it be bold of me if I say I aim to bring you non-holiday cheer as well, now? xD Thank you so much!

HEY JUST CAME HERE TO SAY I LOVE SATIS, OKAY BYYYYE

HELLO ANON! THANK YOUUUUU

[cxmetery-gates]

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS - DARK!TOM HIDDLESTON

CHAPTER FOUR: STEPHEN KING

SUMMARY: The first day back at school has tricks up its sleeve and Lynn tries to find optimism. WORD COUNT: 2.4k NOTES: I lost power for like six hours so happy new year to me. Okay, it wasn’t too big of a deal since the entire neighborhood did as well, so I’ve just been reading all day, which was a nice change. WARNINGS: dark!tom hiddleston, teacher!tom hiddleston

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS MASTERLIST

FROM TIME TO TIME, I try my best to stay positive, but considering bad things are always around the corner, it's difficult to uphold this standard of living. Needless to say, this strategy typically doesn't hold for too long, but right now, I'm doing my very best to stay optimistic. It's the last first day I'll have with all my friends and peers. This should be something to be excited about (with a dash of dread). And, so far, all my classes have gone according to plan, that being swift and without any issues.

My math class came after helping Mrs. Gibbons. While I do my best to stray away from stereotypes and clichés, I couldn't fight the overwhelming state of confusion and panic during the first lecture. There wasn't even a break-the-ice introduction or the what's-the-best-thing-you-did-this-summer questions. Albeit, I loathe those games, but I would rather sit through the awkward hellos and fun facts for the next year than jump right into a lesson on the first day back. At least give us a break; summer isn't long enough.

Following a near hour of torture came yet another. Alright, health isn't as terrible, but requiring every student take this class as a senior despite having a course similar to such since elementary is very annoying. Then again, does anyone who isn't interested in the medical field know the function or location of the pancreas?

But finally, after several hours of waiting, sitting on the edge of my seat in anticipation, I have a class to look forward to: 'Creative Writing.' Most might groan at the sound of a writing class, but I don't mind nor take offense. Not everyone finds passion on words or mental escape through storytelling. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. The interest comes so naturally as if I was born to have a pen in my hand. Maybe one day I'll find myself signing copies of my stories in a bookstore or on Good Morning America with Michael Strahan and Ginger Zee. I do my best to stay humble about my dreams, but staying positive in this is something I have to have in order to succeed.

Unfortunately, that idea of optimism is slipping away at this very moment.

I double check the crumpled paper in my hand. From what I wrote down, I'm right, but given the locked door with lights out, a sour feeling fills my gut. The last bell rings out, and I'm the only one who isn't a classroom, save the few stragglers making a quick dash into rooms. I'm unsure if I'm confused or frustrated as I stare down the door to an empty classroom.

"Jesus, fuck," I curse. Taking an exasperated sigh, I take a step towards the main staircase, deciding my only option is to figure out what's going on. Maybe the room moved last minute. After all, I wrote my schedule down three months ago; there's no telling how this hell hole has changed, little or small.

A typical stroll to the front office from the third floor might take two minutes, maybe three tops if you're dreading walking through the glass doors. Considering I leaped down several stairs at a time and finding myself at the bottom in all but twenty seconds, perhaps joining the track team isn't too terrible of an idea. However, after I take notice of my labored breathing, my legs also going limp, I put a pin in that thought.

"Hi," I breathe out reaching the front desk. As if I needed a reminder on how out of shape I am, my lungs heave heavy bursts in and out. I could have sworn the lady at the front desk gave me a startled look by my sudden appearance, but I don't dwell on apologizing. "I'm not sure if I have the wrong room for a class. I stopped by, but the room is empty."

Nodding her head slowly, the receptionist turns in her swivel chair to her computer, glasses resting on the bridge of her nose. "I gotcha, hon. What's the class name?"

"It's just 'Creative Writing.'" I pause, thinking of any other information. "I might be wrong, but I think Mrs. Walters teaches it."

The woman stops typing when I mention the name and turns to me. By her reaction, I assume the worst. "Your issue is that the class doesn't exist anymore. Mrs. Walters moved away this summer. Took us all a bit by surprise."

There it fucking is.

Well, there goes the last bit of hope I had for the entire school year.

"I, uh, um," I croak. My heart pounds and my hands suddenly begin sweating. An intense wave of confusion wash over me. "S-So what should I do? I need an English elective."

She clicks around the screen, as well as her tongue. The sound is slightly annoying, but you can't bite off the hand that feeds you, even if it's just a one time meal. Her long red fingernails dance across the keyboard. "What's your name, hon?"

"Carolynn Moore," I respond. I can't understand the receptionist, but I think she comments on my "pretty" name. That makes one of us.

A few seconds pass when she looks back in my direction. "Well, it appears you actually don't need any more English classes; you've got all your credits."

"Yeah, but I was hoping to do dual credit. I wanna go into writing, so I figured going in with credits for my major isn't too shabby of an idea," I explain with a smile to the short-haired redhead. She nods and turns back to her computer while making that clicking noises with her mouth again, only this time it sounds like she's smacking on bubble gum. It takes all willpower not to show any signs of discomfort.

"Well," she finally says. "You could just take English IV. The rest of the English courses are either filled, or you've already taken. If your set on English, this is your only option."

From inside my jacket pockets, my fingers crossed. "Who teaches it?" I ask. My fingers cross tighter that it's anyone other than Mr. Hiddleston. I'd rather take the mummifying old teacher who can hardly speak English himself. Mr. Hiddleston may be a nice guy and I know he's a good teacher, but I really don't feel great about being in a class full of girls who took the class just for eye candy. I do my best not to follow clichés, this being one of them.

It appears, however, I will never catch a break.

"Mr. Hiddleston."

I push a sigh through my nose. If this is my only option, I feel obligated to take it. Unfortunately.

"Alright, I'll take it."

══════════════════

I find myself standing outside of Mr. Hiddleston's classroom. I see resentment in my decision just after climbing to the third floor, knowing I will have to travel as far as Frodo and Sam did five days a week. Through the glass window, I see mostly females lining up the first two rows watching the front of the room intensely. With my position, I can't see him, but I have no doubt who they're staring at. To my surprise, I catch Ellie in the second row writing things on a notepad. Well, at least I have one sane people to partner up with.

Taking a breath, I twist the doorknob and give it a small shove. Instantly, almost every head turns my direction. I feel as though I have ten eyes by the looks I'm given.

That's when I notice Mr. Hiddleston leaning against a stool, his long legs outstretched and hands pressed far into his pockets. He gives a surprise eyebrow raise, most likely remembering our conversation this morning. I had told him I wouldn't be taking his class and yet here I am.

"Hello, there, Lynn. A pleasant surprise," he smiles.

My cheeks go pink. The last thing I needed was this ridiculously hot professor bringing up how we have already become acquainted. Perhaps I'm overthinking, but I really don't want people to begin rumors. It wouldn't be the first time I've heard made up stories of students sleeping with their teacher.

"I got switched," I inform in a low voice. Handing him the office's approval, I pass a small smile, doing my best to hide my true feelings. Mr. Hiddleston takes the note and quickly scans it, nodding his head twice.

"Well, I'm glad I have gained another brilliant student," he compliments standing. I take this as my cue to find a seat. My eyes immediately meet Ellie's. As Mr. Hiddleston passes me to his desk, I made a quick walk across the classroom to sit in the empty seat behind Ellie.

She instantly turns herself around. "What happened to 'avoid the stereotype'? And how does he already know your name?" She whispers. "I'm so jealous." Tossing a glance over her shoulder, Ellie flickers her eyes from packs of teenage girls who suddenly begin whispering among themselves. "And it appears I'm not the only one."

My eyes roll as I shrug off my backpack. "Last minute changes. The teacher for that writing class— the one I was telling you about earlier— moved, so I found myself landed here." I pull out a new notebook and a few pens just as Mr. Hiddleston finishes typing on his computer. He's bent over due to his towering height, quite a few pairs of eyes glued to a particular spot. Finding myself as one of those onlookers, I feel a tinge of red heat my cheeks in embarrassment. "And I, uh, helped him this morning."

Ellie, in a dreamy state, looks over to Mr. Hiddleston. Seeing how his posture has straightened, she begins to sit back normally on her desk. I would have been convinced this person was a clone of Ellie had a comment not been made. "I'd like to help him out anytime if you know what I mean," she whispers, biting her tongue teasingly. All she does is giggle as I slap her arm lightly.

I keep my cursing to a minimum now that the room has gone mostly silent. Clasping his hands together, Mr. Hiddleston stands at the front of the classroom, eyeing all of us down. "Alright, first day. How is everyone?"

A collection of groans erupts from the teenagers. While I take no part in the group's exhaustion, I smile to myself in agreement.

"That bad?" Mr. Hiddleston chuckles. "Well, it's about to get worse. Starting from this gentlemen," Mr. Hiddleston gestures to some kid on the opposite side of the room who has boredom written across his face, "we will go around the room with our names."

A panic arises in my chest. Of course, I've spent the last several years speaking in front of my classmates, but it never gets any easier. On more than one occasion has the slip of a curse or a stutter cause points to be deducted from an assignment. It's not entirely my fault that I enter a foggy state of anxiety when all eyes in a room meet me. Can't we all just share our names and our favorite movie with the person sitting next to us? I have no doubt I would have a much easier time with this.

My thoughts have torn me from reality for quite a bit of time, so it seems, as the person two seats away is now announcing their name. I manage to find myself listening in just at the right moment as if now is more convenient than, perhaps, a few minutes ago. My ever-so-sharp context clues lead me to believe we are also sharing who our heroes are if we're comfortable enough for the topic.

I find the bit interesting, but answerable nonetheless. The only problem is I have two: Stephen King and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. How does one compare the modern feminist iconic queen to the whimsical horror author who inspired my writing antics? I flip between the two, plotting out who had the most significant impact on my life, who I am, what--

The sensation of eyes all falling on to my face breaks my concentration. "Oh, okay," I say mainly to myself. Do the thing, Lynn, my thoughts scream. "Well, I'm Lynn Moore, and an idol of mine is, uh..." I stumble off, my brain cutting circuit.

I'm mad at myself for making this simple question out to be life or death. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Realizing I can't do any wrong with either pick, I let my mouth do the work for me. "King. Stephen King."

"Why am I not surprised in the slightest?" Mr. Hiddleston comments, sending me a smile.

"Not all of us can be mysteries," I retort with a shrug. I'm not sure if Mr. Hiddleston he hears me, as my voice decides to speak softly, but the way the corners of his mouth raise makes me think otherwise. My cheeks begin to burn, even after he moves on to the next student. I try to focus in on the girl's name and hero. I already know her first name is Kaitlyn, but the name of her hero goes past me. Maybe she said Beyoncé. Maybe Obama. All I know for sure is that my face feels flush and I can't stop thinking about Mr. Hiddleston's laugh from this morning or the smile he gave me minutes ago.

Thankfully, there is a clap of binders and notebooks slapping on desks to break my thoughts. The warmth in my cheeks leaks back into my body, the cool skin tone returning once more. Glancing around the room with my eyes, I see no one spotted my nervous fidgeting or have looked away from the blushing shy girl.

A pen in my hand, a notebook below the tip, and a smile tugging at the corner of my lips as Mr. Hiddleston begins to enthusiastically talk about the use and necessity of the Oxford comma leads me to a conclusion. Maybe this year won't be as terrible as I had been putting it out to be.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

TAGLIST:

@khadineberry​

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TAGGED, LET ME KNOW!

[cassiopeiassky]

When Everything’s Made to be Broken (I Just Want You to Know Who I Am) Part 52

You guys are the absolute best, most patient readers ever.  Thank you so, so, so much for waiting on this, and like every other slow update over the past year and a half that my life has been a raging dumpster fire.  I love you all.  

Also I am a needy carrot that needs love and affirmation please send love and affirmation

Plot:  When you inadvertently become a witness to a murder and are suddenly a target for death, it takes a specially skilled soldier and his team to keep you and your family safe.

This will eventually be a is a reader x Bucky fic. The reader, by the way, is a civilian. No super powers, no fighting skills, and by no means perfect.  

Word count: 2431

Warnings:

For the entire work:  Language (I have a potty mouth), violence, and angst.  This will probably get pretty dark later on, and there will be smut.  If that’s not your thing, you may want to avoid this story.

Additional warnings specific to this part: Tooth rotting domestic fluff, some angst if you squint.  PTSD mentions/symptom descriptions.

***I do not own any of the lyrics/music in this story, so please don’t sue me for using them***

Tags moved to the end.

WEMtbB Masterlist

Previously on WEMtbB:

Bucky joins you in the bathroom a few minutes later with a pile of clothes for you both.  “Take as long as you need, Sweetheart,” he presses a kiss to the back of your neck as he wraps his arms around you.  “Just keep in mind that every time your stomach growls, I’m gonna think you’re ready to pass out.  You’ve had IV fluids but haven’t eaten since we were on the jet.”

You smile at his reflection in the mirror as you lean into him, intensely grateful for how much he cares for you and for getting back these little moments with him.   “I won’t take too long, I promise.  I just want to get comfortable.”

Eyes soft, he nods.

You both exhale.

Fingers entwined, Bucky leads you out of the bedroom exactly 18 minutes later.  The gently lit hall leads to an elevator and one other door.

“There are two of us to a floor,” Bucky murmurs into the quiet as he gestures with a nod, “That’s Steve’s room.”  He pushes a button and the doors silently slide open.  “The kitchen and common area are a few floors down.”

You follow him into the elevator, doing your best to ignore the feeling of claustrophobia that sneaks up on you.  This is new; tight spaces were never a problem for you before.  Goddamn it.  You suppose you should get used to it, at least for now.  “Where are we exactly?”  They’d mentioned it earlier, but you can’t remember all the details.

His gaze cuts to you but he doesn’t say anything about the sudden tightness in your voice.  “Upstate New York, just off the Hudson.”  When you nod without replying, Bucky pulls you into a tight hug and firmly rubs your back.  “You’re safe here, Sweetheart.  I promise.  We moved you here because it’s quieter than the tower and there are a lot less people. No one here can or will hurt you.”

You nod into his soft t-shirt and breathe.  Of course you’re safe here.  Goddamn PTSD. The elevator door opens and the ominous feeling disappears.  Mostly. “Whew, that sucked,” you mutter as you pull away.  

Bucky nods with a half-hearted smile.  He understands.  “It’ll get better, Sweetheart.”  He wraps his arm around your waist and leads you forward into another hall.  “The kitchen is just around the corner.  If you want I can make you something while you rest on one of the chairs,” he gestures to the breakfast bar as you enter the area.

“Um,” your eyes dart around the room, taking in the generous space, “would it be okay if I did the cooking? I just, I kinda –“

“Yeah.  Yeah, of course.  Just make sure you take a break if your leg starts to bother you.”  

It was the answer you’d expected, but now you feel like you don’t know what to do or even where to start. Oh for fuck’s sake, you know how to cook, you chastise yourself.  “Can…are there certain things I can use?  Or –“

“You are free to use whatever you’d like, Miss Kiddo,” FRIDAY suddenly offers.  “The pantries were freshly stocked in anticipation of your arrival, and Mr. Stark has asked me to inform you that you are to make yourself at home.  In fact, the kitchen has been rearranged to match your home as closely as possible, so you should be able to find what you need without too much hassle.”

The gently accented voice startles you and you struggle to digest the unexpected information.  “Miss Kiddo?” you blurt as Bucky ducks his head to hide a smile.

“Isn’t that your name?” It’s almost comical how the AI sounds confused.

“Kiddo - it’s what Stark calls you,” Bucky gently reminds you with a soft chuckle.  “You’re free to correct her, if you’d like.”  

Your mouth opens, closes, and opens again before you finally answer.  “Well, yes.  Yes he does.” It’s strangely comforting to hear, and after what you just went through it’s exhilarating that you have a choice in the matter.  “Yeah, FRIDAY, that’s fine.”

It’s silent again as Bucky waits on you to start moving…and then your stomach growls again. Right.  Food.

Finally stepping into action, you open the fridge to see what’s available and then quickly assess the pantry.  Damn – it’s like an entire grocery store is at your fingertips.  Okay, so you can make pretty much whatever you want, but you haven’t had chance to make such a simple decision in so long that it’s a little overwhelming; you have to make a conscious effort to slow your racing thoughts. It’s just food, you remind yourself, and you can have whatever you want.  So, what do you want?  Something simple and quick.  Absolutely no potatoes.  Your stomach growls again, protesting at still being empty.  You definitely want something satisfying.

Mind finally made up, you set some water to boil in a large, deep frying pan as you pull out some pasta, butter, cream, garlic, a few seasonings, and a package of chicken breasts that looks like it’s already been grilled.  

“You can thank Barton for that,” Bucky chuckles from the breakfast bar as he watches you, chin in hand. “He offered to make supper for the team after a mission, and everyone got food poisoning because he was in a hurry and undercooked the chicken.  Stark has made a point of having ready to eat protein available since then.  If you want, there’s usually fresh stuff on the shelf below, toward the back.”

“No,” you murmur, “this is fine.”  It’s more than fine – grilled chicken would be ideal for your pan alfredo, and as happy as you are to be in a kitchen again, you’re also grateful for the shortcut.

Your mind quiets as you settle into a rhythm.  Salt the boiling water and add the pasta.  Cut the chicken into strips, set aside to mince the garlic.  Grate the cheese.  Drain the pasta into a strainer and return the pan to the stove.  Throw in some butter and sauté the garlic, then toss in the chicken and pasta.  Add a few generous splashes of cream followed by the parmesan.  Just a few turns with the pepper grinder, a few sprinkles of parsley, toss everything together until the cheese is melted and…done.

Damn that felt good.

When you turn around you see that Bucky has set out two plates at the breakfast bar, a loaf of crusty French bread, and olive oil along with a jar of dried spices for the oil.  “You’re perfect, you know that?” you smile as you dish out the alfredo.  You feel relaxed.  Peaceful.

He shakes his head with a soft smile as you finally take the seat next to him.  “Nah, but I love that you think so.”

Sitting as close as possible, the two of you eat in silence.  The familiarity wraps you in warmth and although it takes a few minutes, you recognize the feeling as contentment.  Yes. This is good.  

A yawn creeps up on you. “Hey, what time is it, Love?”

He finishes chewing before answering.  “A little after one a.m.”

Ugh.  It feels later…or maybe earlier?  You don’t know.  Jetlag, surgery, and a massively fucked up sleep schedule before that is making you feel like time is just an illusion.  Then again, maybe that’s the exhaustion.  “So dishes and back to bed?”

Bucky plants a kiss on your forehead as he stands.  “I’ll get the dishes later, Doll.  But first, dessert if you have room.”

“Bucky, I feel like a bottomless pit right now,” you admit as you ruefully eyeball your empty plate. You thought you’d made more than enough pasta, but Bucky clearly has his appetite back and you feel like your body is trying to make up for lost time.

He doesn’t bother with plates as he slides a pie onto the counter and cuts into it with his fork.  Not wasting any time, you do the same.  “God, I love you.”

His fork pauses midair as he watches you from across the counter.  “Are you talking to me or the pie?”

“Yes,” you manage around a mouthful of flakey, buttery crust and perfectly baked apples.  When he nods and chuckles, you take another bite with an appreciative hum.  It’s not just that it tastes good – it’s delicious and is clearly from a bakery that knows what they’re doing – it also brings an immeasurable amount of comfort. The filling tastes like your mom’s; if you had to guess you’d say that these are probably Haralson apples like the ones she grows in her back yard.  The best pie apples in your humble opinion.  The sweet-tart bite that hits the back of your cheeks brings you back to the crisp October days of your childhood and you can almost feel the golden autumn sun and smell the fallen leaves.   That’s where the resemblance ends, though.  She can’t make a decent homemade pie crust to save her life.

You can’t believe how much you miss her, but you’ll get to talk with her in a few hours.  And your babies.  Finally.

“Hey, I have a question for you.”  Bucky has stopped eating and is watching you intently.

“Okay.”  You nod for him to continue as you take another bite – just because he stopped doesn’t mean you want to.

He looks down, hooks his hair behind his ears, then stands up straight.  If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was nervous.

“Well…”

Scratch that.  He is nervous.  That makes you nervous and sets you on edge, so you put down your fork and hold your breath.  “Buck, what is it?”

Bucky takes a deep breath, but can’t shake the hesitancy in his voice, “Well, I know we have a lot going on, and I know that our relationship hasn’t exactly been conventional.”

“Okay…”  The food you just ate starts to feel like a lead ball in the pit of your stomach as contentment gives way to concern and your insecurities rear their ugly heads.

He’s quiet for what feels like forever before he blurting out, “Can…can I start courting you?  Take you out on real dates, like a normal guy would do for a girl he’s sweet on?  I know it’s kinda backwards and all but I really wanna do right by you.”

Well, that wasn’t at all what you were expecting.  Taken by surprise, you blink before you answer, “Yeah.  I’d like that.”  You both give each other dopey smiles as you continue, “I’d like that a lot.”

He takes both of your hands in his as his grin fades to earnestness.  “I want you to know I’m serious about you.  About us.  That I meant everything I said at the safehouse, and since I got you back – every damn word.  But I also know that we’ve been through a lot and things might get tough, so I thought that dating – real dates – might help with the transition.”

Nodding, you continue what you now understand to be his train of thought.  “You and I – we are incredibly fucked up right now.  Like, massively, absurdly, almost can’t believe our brains even function levels of fucked up.  And it would be incredibly naïve for us to just assume that we could fly back home in a week or two and just go back to the way things were. It’s not going to be that simple.” You hesitate as an uneasy thought occurs to you.  “You are coming home with me, right?  You don’t have any, um, avenging to do?”

His nod immediately puts you at ease.  “Yeah, Sweetheart – as long as you’ll have me, my place is with you.  You are – we are – my priority.  I’m taking an extended leave of absence from work so I can put my entire focus on us and getting better.”

You had hoped you would have some time with him, but you also realize that he does have a job, even if that job is nothing short of extraordinary.   “Really?”

“Really.  And Sweetheart, it might not be simple, but it’s not gonna be impossible, either.  Maybe just a little complicated for a while till we get our heads sorted out. Being with you has been the easiest thing I’ve done in my life.”

You can’t help but nod along with his words – it’s the truth.  And in realizing that, a small piece of your broken psyche glues itself back together.  

“So…” Bucky is almost bashful as he releases one of your hands to take another forkful of pie, “I know it doesn’t give you much time, but what do you say to dinner and a show tomorrow night?”

It makes no sense at all that you have butterflies in your stomach, but you do.  “I’d really like that.”

Bucky exhales as if he’s relieved.  “Great! Great.”  He flashes an almost impossibly bright smile.   “I’ll pick you up at 5:00.”

Did you miss something? Aren’t you sharing a room with him? “You’ll what?”  

He winks at you, causing those butterflies to take flight yet again.  “It’s a date, Doll.  I’m gonna give you the space to get ready – I’ll get ready in Steve’s room – and then I’ll pick you up at 5:00.”

“I…okay,” you laugh as you squeeze his hand, loving how light you feel.

“Speaking of getting ready, it it’s alright with you, Nat will come by tomorrow morning and pick you up to take you shopping.”

“Shopping?”

Bucky smiles so broadly his face could split in two, “I’m taking you out on a date tomorrow night. Finally.  This is something I’ve wanted to do for months, and all I could manage was that night at the barn.  But now?  Doll, we’re on my turf, and you’re both safe and free.  I’m going to take you on the first date you deserve, the one I would have taken you on if I had met you under different circumstances.  So,” Bucky lifts your hand to his lips, “you’re gonna need a dress,” he kisses your knuckles, “and whatever else you would want to get ready that you don’t already have here.  I want my girl to have everything she needs or wants to be comfortable.  Besides, if things go the way I expect they will, the way I pray they will, you’re gonna need a drawer of your stuff here anyway so you don’t have to pack as much when we spend time in New York.”

You’d be lying if you said that last sentence didn’t make your heart skip a beat.  “Okay.”  You don’t bother elaborating – he knows that you’re agreeing to more than just a date or shopping.

“Yeah?”  The happiness in his eyes is enough to make your breath catch.

“Yeah.”  You take another bite of pie as you smirk.  “You know, it’s going to be hard to top our first first date.  That was pretty fantastic.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Nope, just a fact. That was seriously the sweetest, most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

He smirks, eyes smoldering. “Doll, you’re gonna get the full Bucky Barnes treatment – the barn date was me with one hand tied behind my back. I’m gonna knock your socks off tomorrow.”

Anticipation spikes your blood – somehow, you believe him, but you can’t miss the chance to gently tease, “We’ll see.”

Tags:

@hellomissmabel​ @howdoesoneadult​  @nykitass​ @danimuhle​ @iwillbeinmynest​  @shifutheshihtzu​ @passiononfire​​  @learisa​​ @widowvinter​​  @kaaatniss​ ​ @ladylizzieofdarbyshire​​ @denialanderror​  @k-nighttt​​ @givemethatgold​​ @manders2487​ ​ @afangirlrambles​​ ​ ​ @polkadottedpillowcase​​ @bluebrrn​ @saysay125​​  @aikibriarrose​ @saharzek​ @mmauricee​ @imhereforbvcky​  @whenallsaidanddone​ @supernatural508​  @scarlettsoldier​  @natalie-nightcourt​  @im-beautifully-sewn​  @lovemarvelousfics​  @feistytravel​  @tbetz0341​  @nearly-whitches​  @jamie-leah​  @shliic  @dessinemoiunehistoire​  @lucywinchester2000​  @solarbarnes  @a-proper-chicken​  @movingonto-betterthings​ @seekingkairos​  @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​  @part-time-patronus​  @natashasnight​   @fairislesheets​

[burnedbyshoto]

I wanna start a blog where I write any advice?? I’m lost I don’t know what to dooo please HELP

oh my… you’re coming to me??? for help????? i just… okay…

um

so, as you may or may not know i had started writing for shouto since about… march last year but it was an OC, and then i finally built up the courage to submit my writings for people to read here… also i didnt proofread any of this im waaaay too tired but i wanted to put this out asap for you!!!!!!

this is what i did!:

i created a whole new blog tbh. my old blog is hella old and i never really did anything on it except like literally everything, so if youre curious about what it is youll be disappointed because i haven’t reblogged anything on there in 4 years. i know, i was a terrible supporter of writers and artists back then!!!!!!

created an account with the name burnedbyshouto hated the way the u ruined the symmetry of the title so i made it burnedbyshoto! LMAO if you were curious about that. i went in knowing that i what i was gonna write!

before i created the blog i actually had my first piece ready, idk if you read it but its Watermelon Seeds and Strawberry Milk. that was my first piece and let me tell you i almost cried when i uploaded it. i didnt get a single note on it until 3 days later. now that was the scariest thing ever.

i didnt go looking for help, and i certainly didnt have a single tumblr friend. so i had to wait for my post to show up on the tags! turns out it didnt show up for 3 days!!!!! so if you get around to starting this blog, and would like me to read it ;) ill gladly give you exposure!! because i get it, that first piece is the hardest thing to upload. i was panicking to the point i was nauseous those entire 3 days when i wasn’t getting any attention from it because i thought it meant i was a failure at writing! so you have to be patient and be confident!!!! by day 4 my post had hit 20 likes and i literally messaged everyone who liked that first post because it was world changing to me. i honestly cried as i sent out my thank you’s and those first few likers and followers i remember their urls and im positive im following them all because they’re the ones who got me to say “maybe… my writings aren’t as bad as i thought!”

spurred into action by this new found courage i began working on ideas. i had two at the time, both for shouto (of course). and i got my first ask by ashtheteenagewitch (i wont tag her because i dont want to disturb her, but her ask changed my life). it was the childhood friends to lovers troupe, and it was the first post i made that hit over 100 likes. i sobbed when it broke 100. 

so it kinda,,,, snowballed from there. i started a schedule. i post once a day around 12 pm - 4 pm PST idk if any of you noticed that LOL. i tried going between original content and asks, something ive been lacking clearly on nowadays because i have so many requests! dont get me wrong, i love all the requests that come my way but i havent had time in awhile to write something that comes from me.  but again im not as creative as my requesters, love every single one of you requesters btw. you save me a lot of headaches and pain.

i made sure to create a rules list, and a masterlist soon after, and then i started getting attention i guess. since i primarily stayed within shouto in the beginning and i posted once a day when other writers are focused on other posts i must have gotten the “i just want new content” people liking my posts LOL

i dont know… i can’t say for certain what the trick is to all this…

you just… have got to be confident in yourself!

do what you love to do and your followers and readers will see that. pour your heart into it so that way no one can say it was for naught. never be discouraged, like i almost was, by lack of notes. because guess what! if youre happy writing, theres nothing else that matters!!!! nowadays i don’t even look at my notes because im proud of everything i put out.

im happy about every single one of the things i put out, my only fear is that the requester wont like it, but so far i haven’t heard back from too many of those anons… since theyre anon and wont be informed i finally got to their ask…. but yeah. 

write and post because YOU LOVE TO DO IT stop caring about stupid things like followers, likes, reblogs, and replies. i mean theyre great, i love every follower i get, i smile knowing i made a bunch of people happy, and i cry with every reblog i get. but getting that first like is all i need to be happy. nothing more. 

the final advice i can give to you is just,,, never compare your writing with other authors and writers. everyone has their own style! don’t get me wrong i can tag so many writers that i admire who all have different ways of writing that i wish i had, but the thing is no matter how much i wish i had their writing, i have to live with mine and i love my style even though i feel that it on the blander side of things! you also can never compare your number of notes to other people LOL of course the super incredible authors of our fandom are going to have 1,924 notes on their 1.7k scenario. why? because they first and foremost have the followers to get that amount and then people who may not follow them can still see it on the popular and read it and like it, or whatever they may do. i currently have like 650 followers so of course im not expecting 1.9k notes on anything im putting out! i mean my first piece had 20 notes for the entire month of august and now im pretty sure its at 100. its all about giving it time and patience.

just write bby and someone will love you for it!!!!!!

[lamptracker]

FIC: Counting Down the Days, part 2

FIC: Counting Down the Days, part 2

Pairing: Peter Parker/Female Reader

Inspo: “Cancer” by My Chemical Romance

Summary:  While visiting a children’s hospital as his alter ego Spider-Man, Peter meets a girl his age. She’s sweet, she’s smart, she’s funny… and she’s dying of cancer. When she laments the fact that she probably won’t get to live long enough to have the typical teenage experiences of prom and a boyfriend, Peter offers to fill those roles for her.

Part summary: Peter tells the reader what it felt like when he got Snapped. 

Warnings: Talk of death. The usual cursing (he is from Queens). Endgame spoiler. Making fun of soccer moms who want to talk to the manager.

Tagged: @flokidottir-imagines-br  @babyplutoszx2   @musiclover1263   @judemoos   @drxgxnslxyer   @hollanderheart   @thequeensardine   @ive-got-some-lies-to-tell   @captainbuckyy   @xxtomxo   @deleteidentity   @yessterekthings   @itsyaspacemom   @parrkerspeters   @starksparker

Part 1

**

“Alrighty,” Peter said, webbing (y/n)’s hospital room door shut and peeling off his mask. “One cinnamon chai latte for you, one white chocolate mocha for me.”

“Ew, white chocolate?”

“You’re judging me. This is supposed to be a judgment-free zone, (y/n).”

“Please, Peter. This is a hospital, not Planet Fitness.”

Peter just shook his head and laughed as he handed (y/n) her latte. They’d been texting back and forth over the last couple of days, getting to know each other a little better. She asked to see pictures of his friends; he happily obliged (after telling them what he was up to - sort of, in most cases).

“That’s my best friend Ned,” Peter said, pointing at the pictures he was projecting on the wall from his suit. “He knows I’m Spider-Man too, him and MJ.  He’s in Robotics Club and Academic Decathlon with me. That’s his girlfriend Betty, she’s on Student Council and she reads the announcements every morning. This is Michelle, also known as the aforementioned MJ. She’s on Academic Decathlon too. There’s Abe, and that’s Brad, and… oh, good, I see Flash found the phone that’s not built into my suit today.”

“Wow, that is exceptionally rude,” (y/n) said, squinting.

“Karen,” Peter muttered, “delete that.”

“Deleting,” Karen said as the photo disappeared; (y/n) laughed loudly.

“So wait, you’re friends with a dude named Flash?”

Peter scoffed loudly. “Not friends,” he muttered, “he’s been bullying me since the third grade. Did you know, (y/n), that he gave himself that nickname because his real name is Eugene?”

(Y/n) cracked up laughing. “Eugene?!” she exclaimed. “Well, fun fact, I went to school with a kid named Elmer. Heir to the McCormick spice fortune, and about as smart as a container of Italian seasoning too.”

Peter just shook his head. “Elmer,” he muttered as he and (y/n) started to sip their coffees.

“Wow,” (y/n) said. “I can’t remember the last time I had a good cup of coffee. The stuff here tastes like it was brewed with dish soap.”

Peter made a face. “We have a coffee pot, but I never drink coffee at home. I love my aunt May, I really do, but cooking is not her forte. And, unfortunately, that includes coffee. I’ve taught myself how to cook some things. Make a pretty mean chocolate chip cookie.”

“Well, I may have to try one of those sometime.” (Y/n) sipped her latte. “This almost feels like a real coffee date, y’know?”

Peter smiled. “Karen, open Spotify and play my Coffeehouse Favorites playlist, please?”

“Sure, Peter.” The air was soon filled with soft, jazzy music.

“Very nice!” (y/n) exclaimed. “Now we just need the middle-aged suburban mom with her may-I-speak-to-the-manager haircut complaining that her cappuccino isn’t foamy enough.”

“Well, I can’t reproduce that, but I can try.” Peter cleared his throat, next speaking in a weird sort of high-pitched voice. “I asked for light foam, does this look light to you??”

(y/n) giggled. “And there are 47 bubbles, I asked for 49. How hard is it to put 49 bubbles in my cappuccino foam?”

And then, in unison, they said: “Where is your manager?”

They both burst into laughter.

“I gotta tell you,” (y/n) said, “that I’ve only known you for, what, three days? And I’ve laughed more in this three days than I have in the last three years. You’re just… you’re so fun to be around. You come here to cheer people up, right? Guess what, Pete… it’s working.”

Peter smiled warmly at her. “Good, I’m glad.”

“Part of me wishes I’d met you earlier,” (y/n) said wistfully. “You know, before I got sick this last time. We could have had so much more time together. But… but I’m almost glad I met you when I did. Being faced with your own mortality really sucks, it’s nice to have a friend.”

“You know the Snap?” Peter said; (y/n) nodded. “I was one of the ones that got snapped.”

“Honestly? When it happened, I wish I’d been snapped. But… then everyone came back. So either way, I’d have to deal with this.” She gestured vaguely at the wires hooked up to various parts of her body. “But the nice part about that was, you didn’t know it was coming. You know? Like it just… happened. You didn’t have to suffer through it.”

“I knew.”

(y/n)’s eyes widened in shock. “You what?”

Peter swallowed thickly. “I knew what was happening. Because of my powers, my senses are, just, super heightened. I feel everything differently than everyone else. So yeah, for everyone else that got snapped, it was quick and painless but for me? I felt everything.”

(y/n)’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, God. What… what was that like? I mean, if you want to talk about it, if not I totally get it.”

Peter sighed. He knew one day he’d have to talk about it. He was kind of hoping he’d never have to. But, if it would help (y/n) feel better, he was willing to push his fear aside.

“Terrifying,” he finally replied. “I was terrified. I felt helpless, alone. Mr. Stark was right there, that helped me feel less alone. Physically it was weird, I could feel myself disintegrating. It wasn’t unbearably painful, but it was pretty uncomfortable. And then my soul just got… I don’t know, transported? Maybe? Sure, transported to the soul world. And it was five years, but it felt like five hours, it was really weird. But then… then I came back. I guess that’s the difference, though, I got to come back.”

(y/n) smiled. “Wow,” she said. “It’s nice to finally meet someone that knows what I’m going through. I’ve been faced with death over half my life and it scares me. I’ve felt so alone. But… now I don’t feel so alone anymore.” She reached over, gently grasping his still-gloved hand.

Peter gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Glad to help.” He smiled at her again. “Um, that latte is getting cold. I don’t want to have to go get the manager.”

“Young man!” (y/n) exclaimed, in her fake customer voice. “This went down to 102 degrees, it needs to be at least 115!”

They burst into laughter yet again.

“What was it like, in the soul world?” (Y/n) asked softly.

Peter shrugged. “Wasn’t so bad. I didn’t feel anything physically. But internally, I felt very at peace. I… I got to see my parents and my Uncle Ben again. But they didn’t get to come back, that’s how the quantum thing worked. If you were dead before the Snap, you stayed dead. You know? But they got to tell me they were proud of me, that made me feel a lot better. I had this overwhelming, just… what was I so afraid of? This isn’t so bad. Then I realized that the thing I was scared of was the uncertainty. What’s happening to me? Where am I going to end up? That’s the part that got me. But once I got there… it was okay.”

“That makes me feel a lot better. Thanks, Peter.” She squeezed his hand again. “So what do I do now?”

“I… I don’t really know. What do you think you should do?”

“I think I should make the most of the time I have left,” (y/n) answered. “Not dwell on the dying part so much, focus on the living part. I know that sounds like all the schlocky bullshit they spout out in movies and whatnot but… but maybe there’s some good advice hidden in that.”

Peter just nodded solemnly.

“So,” (y/n) said, gulping down the last of her latte, “any plans this weekend?”

“I… oh, maybe. Karen, what’s my schedule this weekend?”

“You have an Academic Decathlon competition in Albany this weekend, be at the school by 5pm packed and ready to get on the bus. Estimated return time is 8pm Saturday.”

“And I’m co-captain with MJ this year,” Peter said, “so my presence is definitely required. I’ll get you a postcard or something though. And then I should probably do my rounds after I get home, and then I think I’m free Sunday.”

“New event added to calendar by Bruce Banner,” Karen said, “meeting at Avengers Tower at 2pm on Sunday.”

Peter chuckled. “...and I’ll try to stop by after that. If not, I will for sure Monday. But I’ll text you whenever I can, okay?”

“Sounds good.” (y/n) smiled. “Hey, thank you, by the way.”

“For what?”

“Everyone that comes in here thinks they need to walk on eggshells around me, not bring up the D word or whatever, you know? Thank you for not doing that. Thank you for treating me like I’m just an average everyday kid, and not an average everyday kid that happens to be walking around with a commuted sentence.”

Peter grinned at her. “Hey, anytime.”

“In a weird way,” (y/n) continued, “I’m almost glad I got sick.”

“Why’s that?” Peter asked, nose scrunched in confusion.

She smiled softly at him. “It brought me you.”

Peter could feel a blush creep over his cheeks as he searched for something to say. He settled for squeezing her hand again and replying, “I’m glad I met you too. Sucks it wasn’t sooner, but… better late than never, y’know?”

“Better late than never.” She grinned at him before releasing his hand. “Talk to you soon?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

[wenrene-amongothers]

speak now// p1; first meeting

here’s the start of what i’ve been working on, idk if this’ll be the title but lets see how it goes! whenever this goes onto ao3 it may be different, but this what ive got for now :)

-

-

-

joohyun stretches up, feeling the joints in her back crack. her mother always insisted she would regret making her joints pop and that it sounded gross, but it was a habit she could never break.

“unnie,” she heard a sweet voice from behind her call. she turned around and locked eyes with seulgi, the adorable younger girl she had grown close to over her time as a trainee. irene’s personality was naturally very quiet and she had a hard time being open and putting herself out there to make acquaintances. she didn’t really think it was a bad thing. she was very happy with herself and sitting alone with her thoughts, if she was being honest.

having said all that though, as she looked into the girls eyes who were always sparkly with mirth, she finds herself silently thankful that the younger girl persisted her friendship.

“whats up bear?” she asks, and seulgis eyes grow smaller as her smile gets bigger.

“i like that name,” she says, taking a seat next to joohyun in the cafe of their company.

“was there something you were gonna say seulgi-ah?” jooyun asks, remembering the questioning tone in seulgis voice.

“oh yeah! there’s a new trainee being added to our practice group, her name is seungwan if i remember correctly, shes only a few days younger than me,” seulgi says excitedly, squinting her eyes to look at the menu above the cashier not far from them. joohyun thinks for a moment how she knows the cafe menu inside and out because of how much time she spends there, time seulgi probably spends getting to know people. 

“ah that will be nice, maybe you’ll have someone you can relate to better,” she teases, and seulgi rolls her eyes with a giggle.

“don’t be silly unnie, i love that you’re older than me, who else would i go to with all my problems,” she asks, and joohyun smiles warmly at her younger. they stand up together to head to the cashier, talking about what they’re going to order. as seulgi chats somewhat to herself about what shes going to order, joohyun notices the girl in front of her in line whom she doesn’t recognize. the cashier asks her what she want, and she watches the small girl hesitate for a moment as she reads the menu. 

“um yes! could i have the, the um, s-sik,” the girl struggled to pronounce the word, and joohyuns curiosity was peeked. she decides to speak up.

“pardon, do you mean a sikhye?” she asks, gently tapping the girls shoulder. the girl spins to look at her, and joohyun instantly feels a weird feeling run through her chest once she faces the girl.

“yes! one of those please, thank you,” the girl says to the cashier, who punches it into the register and accepts her cash. the girl then turns to them, and seulgi was pulled out of her thoughts at the young girl in front of them who was struggling to order a simple drink.

“hello! my name is son seungwan, i probably seem pretty dense,” she laughs, “i haven’t been in korea since i was pretty young, so the language hasn’t come back to me that fully yet,” she says, bowing with her introduction.

“ah yes! i heard you were from canada, right? i’m kang seulgi, its so nice to meet you,” seulgi instantly starts chatting. joohyun had been just a little distracted, taking in the arguably very attractive young girl in front of her, and she realizes she had been a little too quiet.

“im bae joohyun, its very nice to meet you seungwan. don’t worry about being choppy with the language, i’m sure it will come back to you before you know it, and we are happy to help you in any way, cause that’s what elder do. well, seulgi isn’t your elder but i am. i only know cause seulgi said you guys were the same age...” joohyun trialed off, finding herself...rambling? bae joohyun does not ramble. hell, bae joohyun barely talks as it is.

seulgi eyes her, picking up on her weird behavior but not saying anything.

seungwan does nothing but give her a blinding smiling, “well thank you! i think i like you two, we’ll be nice friends,” she smiles, before turning around to take the drink from the cashier.

“say seungwan, whats your room number? do you know who you’re rooming with?” seulgi asks, before smiling at the cashier and ordering for her and joohyun, ignoring joohyuns pout.

“my room is 4C, and my roommates, if i remember correctly, are these two girls park sooyoung and kim yerim?” she asks, with a question in her tone as if shes not sure. seulgi laughs, and joohyun smiles at seungwans sweetly innocent confused face.

“if you are remembering correctly, you’re in for it,” seulgi jokes with that smile of hers, and joohyun idly nods her head next to her in agreement. at seungwans eyes widening to a somewhat funny size, joohyun jumps in.

“don’t worry, they’re sweet girls, just very into causing trouble. especially that little rascal kim yerim,” she explains for her, and watches as her facial expression relaxes back into a normal one. 

“i’m lucky to room with unnie here, she was in a room by herself until i asked to be moved from mine to hers,” seulgi explains, and joohyun feels the need to elbow the younger.

“oh wow, how did you manage to have a room by yourself?” seungwan asks, turning to joohyun.

if joohyun was just a bit further behind seulgi, she could pinch her back without seungwan seeing.

“oh, most people are afraid of unnie, doesn’t this face just scream ‘don’t approach me’?” seulgi, dramatically gesturing to joohyuns face. joohyun doesn’t care anymore, she pinches seulgi anyways. seungwan seems to take the question seriously, her brown eyes suddenly trained on joohyun for a bit as seulgi whines at the pinch. joohyun is use to people staring at her, but something about the gaze had her looking at the suddenly very interesting stain on the floor, suppressing the need to squirm. 

“well maybe shes a little intimidating looking,” seungwan starts, and joohyun finds herself suddenly needing to be anywhere but here, “but only because she looks, well, like a goddess. but i’ve personally found her very sweet, i can see why you’d want to room with her seulgi,” seungwan finishes.

joohyun is frozen for a moment. shes very use to people saying such things about her, but again, it just makes her cheeks flare red. also, it was a little odd that seungwan was answering as if joohyun wasn’t standing there, but seungwan did seem a little odd. joohyun didn’t seem to mind though.

“that’s what i’m saying,” seulgi agrees, and the two girls smile at each other. offhandedly, joohyun thinks about how shes happy seulgi found someone that could be a little more her speed. of course seulgi would always be, and she imagined she would always be her, best friend, but the connection the two balls of sunshine had made joohyun tilt her head and smile.

“i should probably be heading off, i still have to unpack and meet with some people to finish setting up my schedule for the next few months. i’m very happy to meet you girls, maybe i will see you around soon?” seungwan asks hopfully, taking a sip of her drink she as she locks eyes with joohyun.

thankfully, for joohyun’s sake, seulgi is a quick talker.

“not maybe, definitely. we’ll be seeing you in our practice group, so we’ll actually see you everyday at the start of next week. but thats just for practice, we’d love to hang out with you outside of that,” seulgi says, already pulling out her phone to exchange numbers with seungwan. seungwan happily types her number in, and tells seulgi to text her. 

“you too joohyun-ssi,” seungwan says with that soft, pretty smile. 

joohyun nods, “i will. i hope your unpacking and planning goes great,” joohyun says. seungwan thanks her shyly and smiles, bowing to the two one last time. the cashier grabs their attention to hand them their drinks, and seulgi looks curiously at her unnie.

“you hope her planning goes great?” she questions, and joohyun can hear a tone in her voice that sound awfully similar to the two girls seungwan is rooming with. she smacks seulgi’s arm, which only makes the younger laugh.

looking over her shoulder as she goes to sit with seulgi again at a table, she sees seungwan pressing the button for an elevator. she’d med a lot of people since coming into this business, but something about the girl she just met already felt like it had changed something, in some way.

[new-to-this123]

Winter Formal

As Per requested

😍😍😍 I adored how you wrote Zach in that imagine you posted the other day like srsly so good! Can i request one too? Where they have lockers nxt to each other and they get talking and he asks her to be his date too the winter dance? Thx so much you rock xx

Zach X Reader

Warning: none

Word count” : 1474

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hated moving. You hated starting at a new school, especially late in the year, it was December. You were so use to it though, but it's never made it easier. Your parents were both in the army and had moved across the country and back since you were born. You never lasted longer than one year in one place. It made it hard to have friends or keep it touch. Your goal this year, since it was senior year was to try and make friends that you could have into university, and after.

You walked into liberty high. It looked like every other school you had gone to. Lockers lined the halls, there were obvious cliques, the jocks, the band students, cheerleaders, nerds. You laughed and tried to find the locker you had been assigned. You walked through the halls looking at the locker numbers. You looked up and saw a crowd of boys all wearing blue and white liberty high Letterman jackets.

“great just my luck, this whole school and I have to be beside the jocks” you thought as you walked up to your locker.  It was being blocked by a brown eyed, brown haired guy leaning up against it while his friend was in his locker, the one Right beside yours.

“Um excuse me, you're kinda blocking my locker” you said to the jock.

“I'm sorry pretty lady!” the good looking jock said as he got off your locker.

“Zach you have yourself a good looking locker neighbor” a different jock with dirty blond hair and Well dressed said as he walked closer to you.

“I'm Bryce Walker, you must be new here because I've never seen you around”

“hi I'm Y/N Y/L/N and ya I'm new.”

“I'm Montgomery De La Cruz, but you can call me Monty.” the brown haired jock who had been leaning up on your locker said.

“hi nice to meet you Monty.”.

You turned towards your locker and opened it. You went to put your text books in there when you dropped one.

Your locker neighbor bent down and picked it up for you.

“I'm Zach Dempsey by the way” he said handing you your book.

You were lost looking at his beauty. He had brown eyes that were so deep and easy to get lost in. He had a smile that made you want to smile and hair that made you want to run your hands through it. He was the definition of a Greek god!

“thank you” you said smiling.

“can I see your schedule? I mean maybe we have classes together and I can show you around” Zach asked you nervously

You handed him your schedule and he smiled.

“looks like you'll be stuck with me all year we have all the same classes” he smiled.

“awesome” you smiled.

“can I show you to class?” he asked.

“wow Zach hogging the new girl all for yourself!” Monty said with all the other guys agreeing with him.

“hey she's my locker neighbor and it's the least I can do since she'll have to see you guys all the time too, and that's painful enough.” he said as he walked away with you trailing behind him.

“don't mind them, they're disrespectful towards girls” Zach said walking beside you

“thanks, and it's OK, liberty is my 15th school. So I'm use to crude guys.”

“wow fifteenth school??” Zach asked surprised

“yes both my parents are in the army and we move around… A lot!” you replied.

“This is us” Zach said pointing to a classroom.

You both walked in.

“come sit with me” Zach said leading you towards the middle of the classroom.

You spent all morning following zach from class to class and sitting with him in every one. He was a really sweet guy.

“hey Y/N! What are you doing for lunch?” Zach asked as you were both walking towards your lockers.

“nothing” you answered

“well how about you come sit with me?”.

“hey pretty lady” Monty said leaning up Against the locker next to you.

“hello Monty!” you sighed

“bro she hasn't even been here a whole day and you're already annoying to her! New record!” a handsome blue eyed jock said Wrapping his arm over yet another blue eyed beauty.

If anything this school has lots of good looking guys. You thought to yourself.

“it is a new record!” Zach said grabbing your backpack.

“that's Jeff and Scott by the way! Two of the best baseball players liberty has along with Monty!” Zach explained leading you towards the cafeteria, still holding your bag.

“you know I can carry my own things right?” you laughed

“I know but ive got an extra hand so why not let me?” Zach laughed

“what's this winter formal that's posted everywhere?” you ask Zach as you sit with the jocks inbetween zach and Monty.

“it's the winter dance, we go pretty far out for dances their pretty nice. Leah loves going!” Jeff amswered as he playfully elbowed Leah in the arm!

“ya maybe you and I should go together” Bryce stated

“only in your dreams Bryce!” you answered. The whole table started “ooooh-ing and buuuuurn-ing. You laughed, Zach laughed Bryce was not impressed.

You finished your lunch and walked off with Zach.

“so have you ever gone to the winter formal?” you asked him.

“of course, in this town school dances are the the only excitement in town” he laughed.

“it must be cool to know everyone though”

“meh it's ok. I guess. I don't know Ive never known anything different.” he answered.

You went through your day following and talking to Zach getting to know him. It was the end of the day and you were at your locker saying bye to Zach.

“so I'll see you tomorrow locker neighbir” you said

“hey do you drive?”.zach asked

“nope I walk” you replied

“can I give you a ride home?” he asked.

“Are you sure?”

“of course, come on.” he said directing you towards the school parking lot.

“you drive and Audi????” you asked looking at his car in awe.

“yes” he answered nervously

“did zachy-poo not tell you that he came from money??” Monty questioned in a baby voice walking towards his jeep parked right beside Zach.

You got into Zach's car ignoring Monty.

“so you come from money eh?” you asked

“ya. I didn't think it was important” Zach stated coldly

“it's not important, obviously your friends think it is.though”

Zach drove you home and you hugged him goodbye.

“I'll pick you up tomorrow morning” Zach said as you got out the car.

“OK thank you” you answered and walked towards your house.

The next morning you woke up to text from a number you didn't know

TEXT

random number: hey I hope this doesn't sound creepy but I got your number from the school, I may have snuck in and searched for it and I forgot to ask you for it yesterday. Y/N: who is this? random number: oh sorry it's Zach Dempsey! Y/N: oh haha hey good morning and no not creepy I thought the same thing last night 😂 Zach😍: how was your sleep beautiful? Y/N: It was good thanks, looking forward to spend another day with you :) Zach😍: speaking of which, I'm on my way :) Y/N: see you soon

You got dressed and ran downstairs and out to Zach's car.

“you looked tired”.you stated as you got into his car

“ya I can't say I slept much” he answered placing his hand on your knee as he drove to school.

“why didn't you sleep?”

“oh I was just doing things with the guys!”

“all night on a school night?”

“you'll see”.he answered as he shot you his killer sexy smile.

You got to school and Zach parked in between Monty and Bryce.

“good morning pretty lady!” Monty said seeing you.

“good morning Montgomery” you smiled

You all walked towards the entrance of the school. When you walked in Bryce, Justin and a few other jocks you didn't know we're all making a pathway to direct you down a hallway.

“what's going on?” you asked Zach

“you'll see”.monty answered with a sly smile.

As you turned the corner you saw Jeff and Scott holding a big banner that said

“Hey I Just Met You And This is Crazy but Will You Go To Winter Formal With Me?”

Monty handed Zach a bouquet of roses. Zach turned to you and handed you the bouquet.

“so will you go to the Winter formal with me?”

With all big smile on your face you took the bouquet and wrapped your arms around Zach's neck and said

“YES!”

Everyone around started cheering!

“thanks for saying yes Y/N”

“thanks for asking Zach!”

[dominiquegroves-blog]

10 weeks

         Most of you probably wont read this, and that’s okay because this is more so for me than anything else. This isn’t a pity party or a cry for attention. I figured if I took the time to really think about my feelings and put them down on paper that it would somehow help me heal, and maybe help someone else going through a similar situation. So here we go.

        For weeks now, I’ve had a thousand thoughts and emotions flowing through my body and have until this moment been able to put them into words. Dozens of people, including my husband, have asked me over and over again how I am doing and all I could think to say is that I was “fine” or “ok”, because I didn’t actually have an answer. I couldn’t process how I was feeling. I didn’t know how I was supposed to be feeling.  Part of me questioned whether or not I had the right to be depressed since I was only pregnant for such a short amount of time. Was I being dramatic? Did I have a right at all to be so heart broken since, after all, 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage? It wasn’t until a couple of weeks later as I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, that I finally forced myself to mentally relive the events that led me to this place; and I finally had my answer, I was sore.

            Usually “sore” isn’t a word you would use to describe your emotional state. That may be why it took me so long to be able to put my feelings into words. But in my case, it wasn’t any one thing I was healing from. Over the course of a week I was hit with one traumatizing event after another without any time in between to process the previous one. It’s kind of like when you over work a muscle, or work out the same body part multiple days in a row at the gym. A couple of hours, or a couple of days later you experience a nagging soreness that can make the slightest movement painful. That’s what I was experiencing, only emotionally. A nagging soreness that made everything unbearable.

            It started on Monday, September 24th. I had a normal prenatal check up. They took my vitals and blood samples and did a pelvic exam. By this point the baby was in it’s 9th week. We had already seen the flickering of it’s little heart beat during an ultrasound 3 weeks prior. Everything seemed perfectly fine, including my blood work, so we had no concerns. The medical assistant offered to use a doppler so that I could try to hear the heartbeat and started glopping gel on my stomach. After about a minute of hearing nothing but static and my own heart beat, I began getting anxious. She assured me that it was normal not to pick up a heartbeat yet on a doppler and said that it was probably just too early.  I hadn’t been having any worrisome symptoms so I relaxed, as much as someone with anxiety could, and put it in the back of my mind.

            Two days later we arrived at the hospital for our second ultrasound. I was working at the time as a nanny for two babies who were also with us. Cody and the kids were sitting in the waiting area watching “Trolls” on his phone while I went in for the scan. Before she began I prayed over and over to myself “please find a heart beat, please find a heart beat”. Maybe it was mother’s intuition that I knew something was wrong, or maybe every pregnant woman experiences the same few nerve-wracking seconds before their ultrasound.  Either way, after what seemed like years of moving the probe around, the technician asked me if I had had a previous ultrasound. Red flag. She then told me we were going to do a Transvaginal Ultrasound. I asked her if it was too early to see anything with the standard ultrasound. She said “no” and my heart sunk.

             A few minutes later she finally said to me “I, uh…well, there doesn’t seem to be a heart beat. It appears that the baby stopped growing a day or two ago”. She looked down. I stared. I don’t know what I was staring at because I didn’t see anything. I couldn’t tell you what was on that screen. I just stared at it, listening to what she was saying while trying to form a thought. She politely waited for me to respond but all I could say was “so is it…” I refused to say the word dead. I wouldn’t even allow myself to think it. She looked at me the way you would look at an injured puppy and said “I’m not really allowed to say, but the doctor wants you to come to her office straight from here anyway so”… pointing to the screen she explained “if there were a heart beat, we would see a flickering in this area, but um, there doesn’t seem to be anything going on”.  I continued to stare. Eventually I looked at her and said “okay”, got dressed, thanked her, which now seems like a funny thing to do, and walked out of the room. I don’t know if she had spoken to Cody before I got out or if it was the look on my face that clued him in but he knew. All I could do was look down and try to hold it together until we got to the car. As soon as we got the kids loaded in the car, we both broke down.

             It was a short drive to the doctor’s office but in those couple of minutes I tried to gather myself. Again, Cody had to wait with the kids so I asked him to wait in the car. They called me back immediately and started taking my vitals. Thirty or so seconds in I completely lost it. Unfortunately, I am the type of person who hyperventilates when they get upset so here I am, hysterical, alone in the middle of the doctors office. The nurse didn’t know what to say so she just got me a box of tissues, asked if I wanted her to get Cody and left the room. I was trying not to think and to focus on breathing so I could get myself together but there were posters of babies and the stages of fetal development on every wall. Helpful. Eventually the doctor came in and reiterated everything the technician had told me, only with less bedside manner. She then jumped in to explaining that I could wait for signs of a miscarriage to begin and to see if it occurs naturally but that I would most likely need a D&C and suggested I schedule it for Monday. I looked at her as if she were a Martian. Did she not realize how terrifying and devastating this all is? She prompted with “what would you like to do”? I was so aggravated that she could be so callous. I looked at her through tears and said, “I want to go home”.

            Terrible things happen in threes, right? Well, as it would happen, the battery on my boss’s nanny car decided to die. So, after unsuccessfully asking around for jumper cables, Cody and myself, along with two crying children who were long overdue for a nap, sat in the car until my boss arrived to give us a jump. He kept apologizing that we had to deal with this, referring to the car, not yet knowing that the car was only the cherry on top of the world’s shittiest day for us.

            Fast forward to my surgery. Cody called on Friday to schedule it for me. I didn’t have it in me to do it myself. The day of the procedure, Cody and I were sitting in the hospital room waiting for them to roll me to the operating room. My hair was braided down my back and I had a mint green hospital gown on. In any other situation I would have loved the color.  They told me I could leave my socks on. I laughed to myself. I was about to be the most exposed I would probably ever be in my entire life and they think I’m worried about my feet. A nurse administered a type of sedative through an IV and warned me that it is very strong and that I probably wouldn’t remember leaving the room. I made it to the hallway before I blacked out. Apparently I was still conscious though. I wasn’t put under anesthesia until after I was in the operating room. The nurse told Cody I “became very emotional” before they put me under. Wouldn’t you? When the surgery was over I remember the nurse waking me up, asking me if I was ready to go home. I told her “no, not yet”. That was the first time I had actually gotten sleep in days. Eventually the anesthesia wore off and I was forced to face reality, and my sore abdomen, and go home. Before we left the hospital they told me that I had lost a lot of blood during surgery and to take iron pills twice a day but they seemed unconcerned and we thought nothing of it.

            For the next few hours I tried to sleep but I had a headache. At some point I began to feel a weird, tingling sensation in my tongue that began to spread to my lips, then my cheek, then eventually the entire left side of my face. I texted Cody who was downstairs to tell him my face was numb. A second later he came flying up the stairs like a bat out of Hell. He asked what was going on but by that time my face had gone back to normal. While I was explaining to him what had happened, it started again, only this time it spread to my left hand as well. I was trying to explain to him what I was feeling but I couldn’t form a sentence. I couldn’t walk and I was stuttering and stumbling over words. By this point, Cody thought I was having a stroke. He called the hospital to fill them in on what was going on. I must have done something really freaky while he was on the phone because he suddenly said “ um, yeah, I’m bringing her in” hung up and loaded me in the car.

            The hospital on post was the closest so we went straight there rather than to the one where I had my surgery. I sat in the waiting room, in a wheel chair, doubled over with a horrible migraine. I had my eyes closed the entire time I was there because it was too painful to open them. I could hear little kids running back and forth yelling and I seriously considered screaming at them to shut up. Finally the triage nurse called us back. Long story short, with my eyes still closed, I threw up all over his fancy office trashcan. That was enough to convince him and he escorted us to a bed. The next hours consisted of blood work, IVs, CT scans, and ultrasounds. Finally, after obtaining my medical records from the other hospital they realized that my hemoglobin count was so low from the blood loss during surgery that I developed anemia. My baseline before surgery was at 12 grams per deciliter, now it was at 9 and dropping. They did 3 blood tests in the matter of 3 hours and the last one read around an 8. They told us that if it dropped any lower I would need a blood transfusion. They also said that they needed to transfer me back to the original hospital incase God forbid anything goes wrong they do not have surgery here. So, Domi took her first ride in an ambulance.

           When we got to the hospital the paramedics rolled me up to my room, which was, get this, a labor and delivery suite. If you cant appreciate the irony in that, good, because nether did I. It felt like a cruel joke. Later on I found out that Cody had asked a nurse which room I was in to which she replied with the number and said “labor and delivery, congratulations”! He then had to explain that there was nothing to celebrate. He went upstairs to find me and she probably went to find the nearest hole to burry herself in. We spent the night in that room listening to the annoying beeping of the machines while I routinely got poked and prodded to check my hemoglobin levels. Eventually they decided to give me an intravenous iron supplement. Only then did I actually start to feel better. My numbers began to improve, not by much, but enough to discharge me. We left around 3’oclock in the afternoon. We went home and I immediately started packing. We already had a trip planned for New Jersey for the following day. It was supposed to be the weekend of our gender reveal (he was a boy, by the way). As depressing as that was and as shitty as I felt, all I wanted to do was go home and see my family. So we packed our suitcases, brought the dogs to the boarder and left for the airport around 3 am.

            It’s two weeks later now. I’m still not 100% better. I ended up quitting my job because both physically and emotionally it was too straining for me. There are still days that I wake up with a splitting headache that I can’t shake. I still cry at the drop of a hat. My energy level is at an all time low. I have no desire to eat, or do much of anything for that matter. Needless to say I still have a lot of healing to do and Cody and I decided that I would do that best while taking it easy at home. If you actually read this far, I’m impressed and also thankful that you took the time to try to understand what both Cody and I have been dealing with. I didn’t write this to throw myself a pity party, but instead to help myself heal and find closure. All of the horrible, little things added up were traumatizing, especially being Cody and I are so far away from family, so it was a lot for us to process. But every day we are making progress and continue to grow stronger.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 193 prt 1

193

When Lance fell asleep, their roles had reversed. Keith calling Shiro to check in, after overhearing how they hadn’t really talked to anyone. The conversation with his brother wasn’t that long due to him not wanting to leave Lance. Knowing Krolia, whatever advice she’d given him was probably shit, though, as Lance had said, his mother was probably the closest person he could turn to advice for this. Coran may have had a pretty interesting past, but as far as Keith knew, he’d never been on the end of being pregnant. Pidge... wasn’t exactly maternal, and Allura... was Allura. She’d make a good mother... in her own way. Maybe this trip would have been better if they’d invited the others? Not so much Rieva and Matt, but Pidge and Hunk.

“Keith?”

Hearing Lance call his name, he forced himself out the bathroom. It was now closer to dusk than to dawn. Lance had needed time to cry out his frustrations

“Hey, beautiful. How are you feeling?”

“Better... thirsty... and sorry”

Sorry because they hadn’t been to see his dad yet... Keith was slightly annoyed by that fact, but not mad. Lance hadn’t asked for his ego to start being a pain in the arse, and with all the stress he’d been putting himself under, he really needed the rest

“Do you want some blood?”

“We didn’t do my injection”

Fuck. He hadn’t thought of that

“Do you want to go the bathroom, and I’ll get it organised?”

“Okay”

It felt like nothing now to draw a bit of blood for Lance’s injections. The fear of the curse had lessened. Lance would have never tried to feed off Matt or Rieva, even in a desperate situation. But whether it be luck, or Lance’s own curse, it seemed to kill the werewolf curse before it could turn their twins. Maybe Lance had a point about some of their more careless activities? They shouldn’t be able to stand being in the same room, they both shared moments with their egos that really hurt, but he hadn’t been thinking of his own safety since turning. Just the safety of everyone they called family.

Coming back from the bathroom, Lance sat beside him on their bed. Resting his against Keith’s shoulder, he sighed softly

“Okay... inject away”

The injection always only took a moment. In, inject, out, then Lance would rub at the healing mark. His boyfriend sighing again, overthinking things

“You needed to let it out”

“I know. I feel like I’ve brought the whole mood down and I hate it. You must be starving”

Yep. He was. His metabolism was something crazy. The amount of food he consumed was frankly scary

“I’m okay. Here, have some blood and we can think about getting something to eat”

“I thought I had this planned. You know? We’d have breakfast, than go see your dad. Clean his grave up. Talk to him... A mental breakdown wasn’t scheduled”

“Are they ever? Did mum help?”

“She’s no Mami when it comes to advice. She said to chuck my fear out the window”

Keith snorted

“Right. Because it’s totally that easy. Was she okay?”

They didn’t know if she was coming or not. Not with her work schedule. Keith kind of hoped she would, yet she’d made indications of it. Like, would he even recognise his father’s grave? And what did he say?

“Yeah. She was her usual self. I called her for advice, but I know she was disappointed it wasn’t you”

“Nah. She loves you. I think she even likes you better than me”

“She’s your mum. She loves you. She’s pretty worried how this is affecting you. I could tell”

“I’m okay... kind of. I’m getting there. Umm... Nothing time with my beautiful boyfriend won’t fix”

Lance groaned at him

“Babe, you don’t have to try so hard. It’s okay. I’m hardly beautiful... I’m like... the very definition of a wreck right now”

“You’ll be okay. Here, wrist or um... neck?”

“Wrist... sorry... it’s just easier in this position”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m not sorry”

He’d noticed something. Lance only liked to feed on his neck when they were making out or in the heat of things. His fingers when Lance was trying to be quite mid do

“I am. I love you so much. So so much. I neglected your safety... and you’re still being... so good to me”

“Idiot. I love you. Your hunger won’t last forever. I should have gotten some blood into while you slept... it’s bad to let your... um... levels drop”

“I’ll be okay. They’re still okay... I think one of them tried to break my rib when I was in the bathroom”

Keith loved hearing the twins were moving. Even when it was uncomfortable for Lance, he felt like he was hearing cute stories he wouldn’t be able to forget. He didn’t think he had the patience to be pregnant... which only made him prouder of strength Lance showed

“They take after you. All silent and deadly”

“Babe, I’m not a fart”

Keith hadn’t thought of that, chuckling as he shook his head

“I know. You smell awful in a good way. Not like my lactose farts”

“Eh. They’re part of you. A couple of wads of tissue up my nose and you’d never tell”

“I’ll remember that for next time. Here, eat something. Don’t be afraid if you need a little more”

That was something else Keith noticed. Lance took care with the amount of blood he took from him, but the volume seemed like it would be a lot for a human. Very rarely he felt light headed, questioning if he’d be conscious if he was still human. He’d never tell Lance. He’d freak out immediately, plus fluids and a good meal had him back in shape in no time. Lance moaned as he bit into Keith’s wrist, reminding him he’d have to make more of an effort. Maybe it’d be for the best if he ran an IV line for Lance tonight, just to get his hunger knocked on the head completely.

Pulling off, Lance lapped at the trails of bloodied spit left on Keith’s arm. The wounds starting to heal instantly

“Better?”

Catching a few small beads pushed out by the healing wound, Lance hummed

“Mmm... I know this isn’t comfortable for you”

It shouldn’t have been hot, but it was. It stroked his pride to provide for their boyfriend the one thing he needed above all else

“I’m fine, babe. As long as you’ve had enough”

“Yeah... I’m good. I’m still sorry. I think I’ve been taking more and more of late”

“Nah, it’s fine. But I was thinking we should probably set you up with an IV later, seeing how little you ate today. You need to keep your fluids up”

“But keeping my fluids out means I have to pee”

Whining at him, Lance was too cute

“I love you and your walnut sized bladder anyway”

“I think it’s more like a grape at this stage. I’m sorry my ego chuckled a wobbly... and that we spent most of today in bed”

“There’s nothing more that I love, than spending the day in bed with you”

“Pervert. I’m serious though. I don’t want to be scared like that. I want to see where you grew up. I want to know everything about you. All of it”

“You might not like all of it”

“I don’t know. I think we both know that I’m like crazy stupid in love with you and all those little things that drive me crazy only make me love you more”

Keith groaned softly. He’d become weak to Lance. Last real story he had left to share with his boyfriend was the night Shiro saved his arse. Lance knew most of it. Keith couldn’t remember what he’d told him, nor was he sure why he’d never told him all of it. Being on the streets had taken a toll, and the thought of a warm bed and decent shower left him going with people he already knew were no good for him. They’d offered him a good time when he’d been so completely done with fighting to be alive

“Alright. How about we go get dinner and figure things out from there”

“Mmmm... sounds good to me. Let me change, then we’ll go”

“I probably need to freshen up too”

“I hate to say it but we both kind of stink”

From sweat. Under the blankets left them both sweating in their sleeps. Lance smelt deader than ever, with Keith not far off. Personally he didn’t mind stinking of Lance, but Lance felt like he needed to do more to protect Keith with things like being careful with his scent

“Want to take first shower while I look for somewhere good to eat?”

“Sounds like a plan... I... don’t know if I’ll freak out again”

“It’s okay. If you do, we can totally go. I know we’re here to see my dad, but your safety and comfort comes first. I don’t want you to think you have to hide things from me”

“I know. I won’t take too long”

“Don’t go rushing. The last thing we need is for you to slip. That sounded harsher than what I meant”

Lance shook his head at him

“It’s okay, we both know I’m a klutz. I’ll be careful. We’ve come this far. I’m not about to risk them”

“I’m worried about you, too. I don’t want you being hurt”

“I’ll be fine... Let me freshen up, then you can take me out for dinner”

Lance kissed Keith’s wrist where he’d fed. Keith couldn’t believe the passage of time since meeting Lance had moved so fast. It must have been a year now, or very close to a year. This time last year, he’d have thought himself turned and cursed with a single bite. The Blades really did teach some total bullshit when he stopped to consider all of things he hadn’t thought of before. He’d been such a dumb arse. Luckily he had Lance to set him straight... or not so straight... though he wasn’t sure what he was as it was Lance he loved and not only his physical body. Realising how easily he could fall into an internal debate over all of that, he gave a shake of his head. Lance said he’d let him take him to dinner, so that’s what he was going to do.

*

Holding Keith’s hand, the freshness of the night felt nice against Lance’s skin. Keith either hadn’t bothered looking up somewhere else to eat, or he’d been trying to please Lance, resulting in dinner at the same restaurant they’d had breakfast at. This time Lance figured out what was wrong with the place. As they’d finished dinner, the waitress had come to collect to their plates, on her arm balanced by the nozzle was a bottle of orange scented surface spray. Being a public restaurant, smells of all sorts bombarded his senses from the moment they walked. With so many scents, he hadn’t consciously noticed the orange surface spray.

The fact that Sendak still held such a hold over him left Lance unable to enjoy his meal. The atmosphere of the restaurant was good, Pidge would have loved the idea of sneakily signing them up for the weekend Karaoke competition, then abusing everyone heckling her over bad singing... He missed those days. He missed not being pregnant and not fearing his scent. Heck, he missed ghost hunting. He missed watching Pidge get super enthused as Hunk prayed for it all to be over. The restaurant was the kind of place he could see himself having a few quite drinks had the place been in Garrison. The kind of place that Sal’s had been to them before he’d had to hideaway his changing body. The Lord knew he was looking forward the day they could all go out again. He was going to order the biggest, greasiest, slimiest, cheesiest pizza in existence. Maybe even have Sal get some cigarette ash in there for that true diner flavour...

“Want to take a walk?”

No. Maybe... He wanted to go home to bed... but he’d spent the day in the hotel room. Staring past Keith, the stars twinkled over the town as if trying to say that nothing bad could ever happen here, which was a bold faced lie if ever there was one. Keith drew strength from the moon, and both of them had eye sight sharp enough to walk around in the dark safely enough... plus... it’d give them time to get the layout of the town down... His boyfriend seemed to be oblivious to internal wavering, Lance wondering if this was his way of easing into things he either wanted to tell, or easing into seeing his father... or even a chance to cover his arse when Shiro asked how much of the town they’d gone out and seen

“Sure. There’s a park a few blocks down. I saw it on the town map”

“You saw a town map?”

“Did you really not look this place up at all? They have a similar lay out to Garrison, which makes sense in a way... they were both trade posts at some time, though I’ve got not idea what they could have pulled out of all the sand”

“I didn’t even know that much. It’s like... all I remember is the shack... all of it feels like being on another planet”

Lance slid his hand into Keith’s

“It’s a good thing I’m here to keep you grounded. Don’t even think about packing your bags for another planet. You’re not leaving me behind”

“I’m sure that if I ever got spirited away into space, you’d be right there with me”

“Yep. Probably screaming my head off the whole time too”

“I think I would be too. Let’s go, I’ll follow your lead”

“Don’t you always?”

Keith kissed his cheek. Lance blushing lightly as his boyfriend replied “yep”, followed by two more kisses on his cheek. Lance would follow Keith to the ends of the Earth, with Keith just as happy to follow him instead. Unless one of them made the decision, they’d be following each other around in circles for the rest of their lives... That didn’t actually sound too bad...

Walking down to the park, the town had a nice vibe to it. Lance felt bad for whoever was in charge of cleaning the park’s rubbish bin after his dinner decided to make a reappearance before they’d reached the toilets towards the middle of the park. Cleaning up, and using the facilities, the pair of them settled themselves down on the swings. It’d been months since he’d been on a swing set, in Cuba, yet it had to be longer for Keith. Dragging his feet in the sand to make a heart, he supposed they looked like a couple of kids up to no good. He’d seen enough memes that he knew adults missed swing sets, and he knew he definitely counted in their ranks.

Pushing off lightly, the chain creaked under his weight. A memory of Veronica coming to mind from back when having a baby brother that was a vampire was something cool. He’d wanted to go higher and higher, the pegs of the swing set shaking, so Luis and Marco held it down as he swung as high as he could get. He’d been sure if he’d gotten a little higher he could have looped the chain around the top, but Papi had lost it at the four of them

“You seem happy”

“Mmm. I like swings”

Letting the swing slow naturally, Lance grinned at his boyfriend mischievously. They had the whole playground to themselves

“What about you? What’s your favourite piece of playground equipment?”

Keith hummed. He’d been making a mound between his shoes, trying to keep the sand from slipping back down

“I hate the monkey bars”

“Oh? What’d they ever do to you?”

“A shit kid at one of the families threw a rock at me because I could pull myself up to sit on top of them. It hit me in the head and I fell off backwards”

“Wow. That kid sounds like a wanker”

Keith nodded, expression semi serious

“They were. I got in trouble for falling off”

“That’s kind of what kids do though. They play and climb... it’s what kids are supposed to do”

Keith sighed, before shaking his head

“It doesn’t matter now. I can’t even remember their face, let alone why they through the rock”

“They were probably jealous because you’re so much cooler than them. I bet you were a totally rad kid. I wish I’d known you then”

Lance didn’t think about what he’d said. He felt like kicking himself as Keith mumbled

“Right. The fucked up orphan no body wanted was a “rad kid””

“Hey. No. No. That is not on you. Not at all. Adults are supposed to be there and be the strong ones. Not kids. I sincerely wish I could lord over every single person who hurt you, how fucking amazing you are”

Keith gave a scoff of disbelief. Lance saddened that his boyfriend’s anxiety had gotten to him this badly. Climbing off his swing, the vampire wrinkled his nose at the sand pouring into his shoes as he moved to stand behind Keith

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to push you?”

Wasn’t that obvious? He’d waddled his pregnant arse all the way behind Keith. The only logical conclusion was he was going to push him on the swing

“You don’t have to”

“Maybe I want to? Maybe I want to play in the park because there’s no one else around. No bad scents. No blood. No spirits. No yucky feelings other than the sand under my socks...”

“It is a nice park”

“Right? Now, hold on”

Pushing Keith on the swing, Keith gradually loosened up, even starting to laugh as Lance backed off and watched

“You can do it, babe!”

“I’m totally going to jump off, you know that, right?”

“It’s like an unwritten law of swinging, seeing how far you can jump”

“I think I have an advantage...”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m totally challenging you to a swing off once these two are born”

“That’s not fair, you’ve got wings”

Lance huffed. They had a mind of their own, much like the rest of his body

“Which are mostly useless. I can’t even fly around as a bat”

“That’s fine. Ready?”

“Go for it!”

Keith jumped a little too soon, half faceplanting in the sand. With the way he landed, Lance rushed to his side to find his boyfriend laughing

“Are you okay?”

“I fucked that up”

Kicking Keith lightly in the side with the toe of his shoe, his boyfriend rolled over, smiling like an idiot. Lance’s heart had stopped with the way Keith landed, now the idiot was smiling so happy he felt all warm inside

“You had me worried!”

“I guess I’m not that great at sticking the landing”

“You weren’t that great at jumping. You went before the swing was at the right height!”

“You make it sound like you’re training me for the Olympics”

Channeling the best sports commentator voice he could, Lance’s voice wobbled slightly as he tried not to laugh at how funny he was

“You don’t get at a ten-point-zero for your landing. Zero style. Very simplistic. Could this spell the end for Keith Kogane’s budding career before he even goes professional?”

Keith laughed. A proper unguarded laugh. Lance feeling the luckiest man in the world to hear it

“I’m being serious!”

“Uh huh. Sure you are. You know, the stars are really pretty. I feel like I can see them way better than before”

“That’s because all your senses increased. Werewolves and vampires are kind of night creatures”

“I still don’t know how to turn into a wolf. I don’t know if it counts”

“It totally does... Now, are you getting up? Or should I pick you up in the morning?”

Keith patted the sand next to him

“You could come down here”

“Or you could come up here... I’m too pregnant to deal with sand”

“Fair point. We have the whole park to ourselves... I don’t think I’ve ever really... just... you know...”

That Keith hadn’t played on a playground saddened Lance. Even as an adult, playgrounds were still fun. With no one around to watch them, there was no point being responsible adults

“You know, there’s a slide over there... and a flying fox...”

“Babe...”

Keith tried to dismiss the idea, Lance using “boyfriend” which proved very effective. Damn Pidge. She’d gone and put that back into his head at her birthday party

“Come on, it’ll be fun. I mean, I probably can’t use the spinner, not unless you want to scramble the twins, but the slide never gets old”

“Fine, but if we get in trouble, you’re taking the blame”

Lance shrugged. They weren’t violating any laws that he knew of. They weren’t intoxicated. Nor were they committing property damage or trespassing

“The lawyer in me tells me it’s going to be okay”

“I’ll remember that when I get my one phone-call”

“You better. Though it would be a conflict of interest to represent you, so let’s not get in trouble?”

The did indeed get into trouble. Keith got wedged in the kids slide, and Lance was too tall for the flying fox, so that was disappointing. They were still messing around when the lights of a cruiser flashed red and blue, the two of them called over by a police officer who looked unable to catch them, even if they had been human. Swallowing down his fear, Lance took Keith by the hand, walking him over to the officer when Keith kept telling him they should run. Getting closer, the man clearly didn’t expect two fully grown adults to be playing in the park so late at night.

“Officer, how are you tonight?”

Putting on an air of responsibility, Lance felt he’d be the more convincing adult of the pair of them

“I had a call about teenagers mucking around in the park. Want to tell me about it?”

Keith snorted with laughter, Lance stepping on his foot to shut him up

“That was us, sir. I’m sorry if we created a disturbance. We’re on holiday, you know, before the twins come, and wanted to have a little fun. I had no idea we we’re causing a disturbance”

Keith tried to muffle his laughter, Lance mentally rolling his eyes at his boyfriend who was clearly upsetting the police officer. Huffily, the man asked

“So I’m not going to find any of that junky paraphernalia you young people are into these days?”

“No, sir. I know we might look young, but I’m 46 and my boyfriend here is 28. No drugs, or alcohol, sir”

The man looked them up and down, Lance waited for something along the lines of “I wouldn’t lie to a police officer, if I was you”. Instead the man sighed

“Look. You can’t be playing in the park at midnight. You’re obviously not locals. You staying at the hotel?”

“Yes, sir. My boyfriend is a photographer, we’re travelling to work on his portfolio. Sorry. We wanted to have a little fun with no one around”

“I’ll have you save that sort of fun for a more appropriate environment. Get in the back, I’ll give you both a ride back”

Lance immediately shook his head

“We’re both able to walk back...”

“That wasn’t an invitation. We get a lot of blow ins for this damn Easter festival the town insists on having. The last thing I need is the pair of you thinking your entitled to cause trouble. Get in”

Lance felt like a scolded school child as he did as he was told, Keith sliding in beside him, though his boyfriend still thought they should run. Clipping their belts in obediently, Lance bit his bottom lip. Maybe they’d gotten carried away? He didn’t think they were being too loud. All they’d been doing was acting like idiots. They hadn’t damaged any property... plus Keith had gotten on the spinner, which had been hilarious given how much strength he could put into a spin. His boyfriend had gotten off with shaky legs, tripped, fell in the grass and burst out laughing. Lance knew he should stay quiet, but this was a golden chance

“Excuse me, have you been an officer here very long?”

The man met his eyes before pulling away from the park curb

“Long enough”