#ive had a fever for 30 hours.

[kirstenly]

Ya girls got COVID again... And she's fuckin going through it.

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

[kittyhazelnut]

I am LOSING my MINDDDD

[steddieas-shegoes]

Could you do something like Eddie needing to go to hospital for some minor injury or illness and Steve just having a complete trauma response of oh god last time he was in hospital he nearly died (and wayne being the one to reassure him bc we love uncle wayne in this household)

I must live in the same household as you because I include Wayne in things just to have him be supportive even when it doesn’t make sense to the story 😎

“It’s just a quick trip.”

Wayne was trying to reassure Steve. Trying being the key word.

Eddie was asleep, as he had been for most of the last three days.

His fever was getting higher instead of lower and he hadn’t been able to keep any food down for more than two of the last three days.

His water intake had gone nonexistent, too.

He was pale and sweaty, but visibly shivering anytime Steve looked at him.

It was probably just a really bad flu, but it didn’t help that he’d only been out of the hospital for four months and was still technically recovering from bat bites and nearly bleeding out.

“But what if it’s not?”

Wayne looked at him sadly.

“Son, he just needs some fluids and maybe some better meds than I can get at the drug store without a prescription. He’ll be feeling a bit better within a few hours if we take him.”

“But-“

“Steve. I promise I won’t let nothin’ happen to our boy, okay?”

Steve felt his heart clench at the words.

Sometimes he forgot that Wayne almost lost his only family, his son in all ways but genetics.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

“Think you can carry him to the truck?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie woke up twice on the way, trying his best to give Steve a smile, but failing miserably.

When they brought him back to get an IV started, Wayne went with him, but Steve had to wait in the waiting room.

Wayne kept checking in, though, letting him know every 30 minutes how things were going.

He was grateful that Eddie had someone like him.

He was grateful he had someone like him.

Four hours later, Wayne was walking out the double doors with Eddie, who was able to stand, but not support himself.

An improvement is still an improvement, though.

“Eds, feeling a little better?”

“Feel like a million bucks. No need to worry.”

Which is what he said when he woke up after his week-long coma.

Steve burst into tears and Wayne gently smacked Eddie on the head.

“You’re a dumbass.”

“What?!”

“Let’s get you home before Steve ends up havin’ a breakdown in the waiting room.”

Luckily, they made it home before Steve really did break completely down.

But at least this time Eddie was awake and holding his hand, talking to him like nothing was wrong.

[27dragons]

The Sheer Gall

Content warning: Medical adventures. They're not graphic, but if you're particularly squeamish, be warned. Also a solid wall of text, so I'm dropping most of it behind a readmore. Basically, this is a rundown of my past week...

.

Last Monday evening, I popped a fever. Not a bad one, never even got all the way up to 102F (38.8C). It broke overnight, and I woke up on Tuesday with only a low-grade that eased back down to normal by lunchtime.

Tuesday evening, I developed a mild pain that ran along the bottom of my right ribcage. That was weird, but it was basically a mirror of the spot where I feel the pain when my heartburn/ulcer nonsense kicks up, but less painful, so I figured it was some weird gas or something and went to bed, figuring it would resolve by morning.

It did not resolve by morning. By Wednesday afternoon, I was weirded out enough by this mild but persistent pain go to the UrgentCare clinic and see what they had to say. What they had to say was: probably a gallstone, though because of the way UrgentCare and insurance in this country works, they couldn't order the ultrasound that was needed to be certain. But the pain was mild and my temperature was fine, so the UC doc said, "Call your primary doc as soon as you get home and make an appointment to arrange for an ultrasound. If the pain gets worse or you spike a fever, go to the Emergency Room."

Less than an hour after I got home, I started shivering. I checked and -- yep, low-grade fever. I wasn't sure that counted, so I went and curled up in bed (to warm up a bit) and took my temp every fifteen minutes or so, watching the number on the thermometer readout slowly climb. When it hit 100.1F (37.7C) (still technically lowgrade but high enough that I was pretty sure it would keep going up) I packed myself a bag and drove to the ER.

It had gone back down to just BARELY over normal by the time I got there, which made me think they were probably going to just confirm that it was still early stages, not a problem yet, and send me home again. The ER ordered an ultrasound, and eventually the ER doc came and told me it was definitely gallstones but it didn't look urgent enough to operate that night, so they were probably going to send me home with instructions to contact the surgical center in the morning to make an appointment, pretty much like I thought. He was just waiting to confirm that with the surgeon on duty. Half an hour later, the surgeon on duty came into my room and said, "The Thursday operating schedule is already completely booked, so we're going to jump the queue by scheduling you before all the other surgeries, at 7:00." Basically, he agreed that it wasn't enough of an emergency to operate immediately, but it was urgent enough that he didn't want to wait until Friday.

So they admitted me to the hospital proper at about 10pm, and moved me up to the surgical ward. It was very early Thursday morning by the time the nurse had finished collecting information and setting me up with an antibiotic drip while I texted my family and boss to let them know what was going on. At about 4am, they started prepping me for the surgery, and five or so hours after that, I woke up in Recovery.

I spent most of Thursday groggy and trying to figure out how to move when my abdominal muscles had decided to take some time off. My dad drove up to sit with me for a few hours, and that evening the Ex brought the Things to see me. That evening, the night nurse made me get out of bed and take a few laps around the ward, which I didn't want to do (and I stubbed my little toe on the base of the IV pole like five times) but did help enormously with the weird gas pressure and bloating left over from the surgery.

The surgeon woke me up at about 6:30 Friday morning to show me a bunch of pictures he'd taken of the inside of my body, go over the points of the surgery with me, give me my post-surgical restrictions and instructions, and tell me he would leave discharge orders in the computer for me when I was ready to go. I was back home by lunchtime, and honestly it only took that long because they have a policy that you can't drive yourself home from the hospital, so I had to arrange for my sister-in-law to come pick me up. (My brother and dad coordinated retrieving my car from the ER parking lot that afternoon.)

I could tell a bunch more anecdotes about things that happened in the hospital -- conversations I had with the various nurses, misadventures with my IV, overlapping but unrelated other medical/body issues, my selection of TV to watch, and the delusional patient in the room two down from mine -- but here's the thing I want you guys to remember, most of all:

The only initial warnings I got were an intermittent low fever and mild but persistent pain. That's it. If I hadn't been weirded out by the persistence of the minimal pain, my gall bladder might well have ruptured a day or so later and left me with a much worse problem to deal with.

Pay attention to your bodies, guys. It will tell you when something's wrong... but it may not be speaking very loudly.

[scifimedic]

Episode 3 of SciFiMedic Explains: How do I write severe burns?

Original prompt submitted by anon.

“What about a character with a badly infected (burn-like) wound?  How long could they survive without medicine?  What are the most likely complications (systemically)?”

Right off the bat… I can say this isn’t looking good. This poor bastard is going to cut it close.

Due to the wording of your question, I can guess that your character will eventually have access to modern medical supplies like antibiotics and vasopressors. Therefore, in your case, I think you can push this all the way to sepsis without death of your character.

Let’s make a worst-case-scenario timeline that results in death. 

Day 1: Injury happens. You mentioned a burn, those are going to get infected quick. Depending on the size of the burn as well, it’s very easy for the patient to get dehydrated and hypothermic. You’ll need to cover that burn with plastic after cooling it with chilled water for a minimum of fifteen minutes, longer if possible. If you have to use something like river water, then the infection is going to go faster. Let’s say, for the sake of the scenario, you had to use filthy mud water. 

Night 1: Shock sets in. I assume we don’t have any IV supplies, but if you do start one for fluids and pain medications. If the burn is second degree, they’ll be in agony. If it’s third degree, it will be eerily painless (all the pain receptors got burned off.) They’re going to be cold, shaking, and have a fast thready pulse and low blood pressure.

A 2nd degree burn will make the skin look puffy and bright red, with many blisters covering the area. It can also look a little like it’s peeling, or have some white patchy spots.  A 3rd degree burn will look “better” because the skin tends to look a little more normal. The tissue will be stiff, and look like leather. The ones I’ve seen look like their skin has been carved out of wax- smooth, glossy, and very pale.

Day 2: Infection takes hold. You know the drill, redness, swelling, pain, pus. Try to rinse it with clean water if you can. Depending on their condition now- are they healthy? Fighting any other infections? Cold? Exhausted? They may be able to compensate for another day unaided. Their fever will soar, and the wound will start to form red streaks. 

Night 2: If your character has any of the above mentioned conditions, this is the end of the road for them. By now, the infection has hit the blood stream, and they’re going into septic shock which looks like: 

Rapid heartbeat

Very low blood pressure

Fever

Confusion

Once sepsis takes ahold of their system, death is imminent in the next hour or so, even as soon as 15-30 minutes. 

Day 3: If your character is healthy and compensating well, they get oneish more day, but I would expect them to die during the night on either day 3 or early day 4, also from sepsis. 

Now, let’s say you’re cutting it close. You’re waiting until just the last minute for rescue to be possible. For your weakened character, that will be somewhere in the late evening of Day 2. The infection has spread, but hasn’t gone septic yet. Sepsis is tricky to treat in the field, it requires a lot of careful monitoring that may not be available. 

For your healthy character, you can push it out to early morning of Day 3. 

This timeline is based on a few burn patient’s I’ve worked with in a clinical setting, and their stays in the ICU. 

Disclaimer: Although I’m in school to become a medical professional, I’m not one yet. Please don’t sue. All mistakes are mine, and I’m always open to discussion, hope this helps Anon!

[disableism]

TLDR at the bottom:

Thursday at PT I started feeling kinda nauseous & lightheaded. I texted my sister to come get me. By the time she showed up 15 minutes later, I was dead white and so cold that I was extremely shaking which was causing joint contractures. With arthritis, no cartilage & locked joints, this was very painful. It was weird, because I didn’t feel cold to the touch. No fever either.

We called 911. By the time the ambulance arrived I was crying out in pain. They took me away but because my vitals were all fine —except for a slightly elevated blood pressure, which I don’t know how that’s possible— they refused to treat me & said they had to leave me for the doctors. I begged for blankets & got one flimsy one. In the ER they wouldn’t treat me until the doctor saw me, even though I was begging for heated blankets. Eventually I got one flimsy one there too. I also was crying for them to go out in the waiting room and get my sister. I was told that when she arrived she’d be let back. I kept having to explain she’d been right behind the ambulance. They left her in the waiting room for an hour. Meanwhile I’m in the exam room alone, unable to do more than roll over without assistance because said sister is my caregiver. I’m also in horrible pain, shaking so bad everything is contracting. I couldn’t answer their questions except one word pushed out with every breath because of the shaking. I kept telling them my sister could answer everything and that she had my med card. I had to do the whole check in process one…word…at…a…time. Finally I saw a doctor who said “sure” to my request for a stack of heated blankets & a flush of IV fluids. Then Sis was allowed back & I got a room nurse assigned to me who was a godsend. The blankets stopped me shaking enough that I slept and when I woke up 3 hours later, I felt exhausted & a lil shaky, but no longer cold, even a bit sweaty. And my face color had come back. My labs & urine came back fine. So they sent me home.

The only thing anyone could think of was I had a weed gummy that day, an hour before my appointment. I have not had weed in 20 years but my doctor finally cleared me for it to have even though I also take Norco. This was my 4th gummy in the past week. The doctor said maybe it was a bad reaction. Why not with the first one? I know sometimes allergies can take a while to build up. With my Sulfa allergy I was on it a week before I had my very awful reaction of muscle seizures. So maybe that’s what this was? Except today I was outside & the temp was dropping, a storm in the air and I started to feel cold. And had a bit of a cold flush run through me. I thought it was outside air making me cold which caused a spike of anxiety because of the earlier experience. So I went inside but I kept feeling colder & started shaking, so I got under the covers, turned on the heating pad & turned off the fans. My color stayed fine and after 30 minutes of lowkey cold & shaking I was warm enough, I slept for an hour and woke up drained but fine. Even hot. (My sweet kitty had come to lay on the top of my head because he takes care of his Mommy Lady).

Was this last bout anxiety? I don’t know. I just wanna sob & sob because I can’t handle yet another thing being wrong with me, especially one that comes on so sudden and requires me to drop what I’m doing immediately and get under ALL the blankets. Also my family is here from Canada & I only get so much face to face time with them each year, I do not wanna miss a single second with my niblings.

Anyway, anyone ever have something like this happen? Other issues I have that might be relevant is medication allergies which is why I thought “reaction to gummy”, rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune liver disorder, kidney stones, fibromyalgia and I had the Inspire implant surgically put in a month ago but I have healed fine & it has not been activated yet. Thoughts?

Tl;dr: I went cold & dead white all over causing me to shake so hard I had joint contractures. Lasted about 2 hours & only went away with many heated blankets. Vitals stayed fine, labs/urine were fine, no fever, was not cold to the touch, doctor was not sure what happened. Anybody have something similar?

[lelitachay]

Frozen fanfiction: Søsken

Summary: An accident in the North Mountain forces Elsa to spend several weeks in her brother’s apartment under Anna's care. During that time, Anna realises there is more to Elsa than meets the eye. The truth about Elsa’s past comes to light after an unexpected family reunion, and both girls’ lives begin to fall apart when they realise Elsa wasn’t the only one with a big secret and a turbulent past.

Anna/Kristoff - Elsa - Family - Family drama - hurt/comfort - Modern AU - Elsa & Kristoff are adoptive brother and sister - Ice bros - Found family - Serious injuries - Mental health issues - Health issues - Frohana

Links:

Fanfiction.net - HERE

AO3 - HERE

Tumblr - Chapters 1 to 10 - Here   Chapters 11 to 20 - Here Chapters 21 to 30 - Here Chapters 31 to 40 - Here Chapter 41 - Here Chapter 42 - Here Chapter 43 - Here Chapter 44 - Here Chapter 45 - Here Chapter 46 - Here

--

With the dawn, what comes then?

The moment Kristoff had told her Elsa was in the ICU, she knew things were most certainly serious, but not once had she imagined her sister’s health would be so seriously compromised.

As soon as Anna had walked into the director's office, where Kai and Gerda had already been waiting for them, she knew they were bound to get bad news. She wasn’t naive and knew exactly what the downcast looks meant. The atmosphere was gloomy and the way Gerda averted her eyes when they entered told Anna everything she needed to know.

To make matters worse, Nielsen had taken upon himself to explain the situation the very moment they sat down. Asking for them to listen, not even giving Kristoff a second to address his parents or gather himself. The doctor, being a lot more serious than he had been in the evening, when Anna had met him, explained to them everything that was going on. And with every new piece of information given, Anna had felt her stomach tightening and her heart thumping more and more loudly.

Elsa’s health was steadily deteriorating. She was struggling to overcome what her own body was causing. Within a matter of hours, her body had begun developing an immune reaction that was now turning against herself. The fever had not only spiked to dangerous levels, she had also had trouble breathing and her blood pressure had dropped so low they feared she could go into shock at any given minute. And in order to prevent it, the doctors had been forced to start an IV treatment on her, sedating and intubating her to make sure her oxygen levels remained stable — Anna hadn’t been entirely sure what it all meant, but the look Gerda sent their way did nothing to appease her.

Throughout the explanation, Anna had been able to keep herself in check. She had focused on the hard data, trying to detach the person from the information given, forcing herself to forget for a moment the patient they were talking about was her sister. But as soon as Nielsen was over and Kai and Kristoff began asking questions, she found herself powerless in holding back the tears. No matter the words Nielsen tried to use, she knew deep down that everything they were discussing meant there could be dire consequences for Elsa in the future if things didn't improve. And while Kai had tried to remain more optimistic, asking about the recovery process and what to expect from it — a process that seemed arduous even for someone who didn’t have deep revulsion for hospitals like Elsa did — Kristoff had been more blunt, asking exactly what they were all thinking:

Will she be okay?

It seemed like a logical thing to ask, the most important, even; but Anna knew Kai had refrained from asking it himself in fear of what Nielsen could say.

She’s receiving the care she needs; but sadly, the mortality rate is up to 40%.

Nothing had helped lessen the blow then. A moment after hearing his answer, Kristoff had excused himself, leaving the office before Anna or Kai could stop him. Anna had tried to follow him, but Gerda had put a hand on her arm stopping her. The old woman murmured something about giving him a minute or two on his own, and she also requested Anna to stay so one of them knew what they had agreed to do about Elsa's powers. Not wanting to go against her mother-in-law’s suggestion, and unsure of what else to do, Anna had stayed. Frozen in her seat, she had listened to the rest of the conversation in silence. 

Deep down, Anna felt it was a bit cruel on Nielsen and the director’s part to force the old couple to discuss the details on how to tell the staff about Elsa’s powers at that moment. It was clear Kai and Gerda were trying to stay focused on the conversation, even though their sad looks told a different story. However, she refrained from arguing or stopping the conversation, thinking that perhaps focusing on their next tasks helped them cope with the situation a lot better.

The discussion dragged well into the night, as names and names of medical staff available to look after Elsa had been mentioned and considered. Finally, after what seemed to be the longest meeting Anna had ever been part of, the parts reached an agreement when the clock on the wall had struck the witching hour. And before Anna had time to see what was going on, she found herself standing in a cold and empty hall with Gerda standing by her side.

Her parents-in-law then discussed a few more details with each other, away from the director’s earshot; and when they both reached an agreement of their own, Kai disappeared into the office once again. She knew the situation was delicate and it was important to be sure the people they selected were to trust, but still there was a part of Anna that couldn’t comprehend the amount of tiny things to consider.

A moment after Kai had left them on their own, Gerda put a comforting hand around Anna’s arm and she had led her down the hall into a small room not far from the ICU. Kristoff had been waiting there, sitting in one of the small chairs all by himself, arms resting on his knees and his head hanging low.

Anna had tried talking to him, giving him a dose of that overoptimistic side of hers, when she noticed his red eyes, but she hadn’t found anything worth saying. After trying — and failing — to find the right words, she had sat down by his side in complete silence. Gerda had stayed as well, sitting next to her son, keeping a comforting hand on his back, trying to offer them some comfort, even when she couldn’t find solace herself.

---

Numb. That was the only way Anna could describe the way she felt. The news about Elsa’s condition had felt like a blow. It had come unexpectedly and with such a strong force that left her feeling dazed and disoriented. Sitting in the cold room with Kristoff and Gerda felt wrong and useless. And no matter how much she wanted to help, she couldn’t come up with anything. Making her head feel even more muddled.

After what seemed to be hours, the glass door that led into the room opened and Nielsen came in, followed by Kai. They were still talking to one another and the doctor was carrying a binder under his arm.

“Gerda,” Nielsen said, calling the woman’s attention as soon as the door closed behind Kai. “Given your experience and knowledge, the clinic has granted you the possibility to stay by Elsa’s side. You have no say in the treatment or the medical practices since you’re too attached to her, but you can help whenever you’re needed. Once inside, you answer to the staff’s orders. Is that clear?”

She seemed to listen to him, but it was obvious she couldn’t find the strength to raise her eyes and meet his. Anna’s heart broke for her mother-in-law at that moment. No matter what blood said, Elsa was her daughter. Despite the heartbreaking news, she was Elsa’s most trusted carer, forcing her to be up to anything at any given time, even when she couldn’t hold her head up.

Nielsen, used to dealing with similar situations and ignoring the obvious sorrow in her eyes, handed the old woman some files for her to sign. Gerda took a moment to read them before she signed them and handed them back as she stood up, ready to go to her daughter’s side. 

When Nielsen and Gerda were about to leave the room, Kristoff rose from his seat and asked, “Can I see her?” It was the first time he spoke since he had left the director’s office and Anna noticed he still had a lump in his throat.

Gerda offered him a sad smile and caressed his cheek before she answered. “Not now, dear. They’re about to move her to a private room. Once she’s stable we may talk about it.”

“And even then,” Nielsen interrupted. “We can’t promise frequent visits. It’ll all depend on her recovery. You’ll have to wait.”

“What if she doesn’t recover?” Kristoff asked, surprising everyone in the room.

“Kristoff, please,” Gerda murmured, finding the thought unsettling.

“I need to know.” Kristoff said, looking at Gerda with pleading eyes before he turned to Nielsen. “I’d like to see her at least once.”

“You’ll see your sister again,” Nielsen said, holding Kristoff’s gaze. “That I promise.” The doctor then looked at Gerda again and insisted it was best for them to go into the ICU.

She nodded, but before she followed Nielsen out of the room, she turned to Kristoff and whispered something Anna couldn’t hear.

When they were out of the room, Kai took Gerda’s place standing in front of his son and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Things will be okay, son. Now come on,” he said “We’ve got to go.”

“Go?”

“I need you to take me home.”

“You’re leaving?” Kristoff said, baffled.

“I haven’t got my car here,” he explained. “I’d like to go get it and then go to the police station.”

Anna noticed the way Kristoff’s fists tightened, hands slightly shaking. He was quick to force them to stop, pretending nothing was wrong, but Anna knew he was feeling incredibly powerless under so much stress. She wished he’d allow himself to cry or curse or yell for a moment, finally letting go of all the pent up sadness and tension. She didn't think it could be healthy to keep everything inside. Though, to her disappointment, he only straightened his back and paid attention to his father.

“Take me home,” Kai requested. “Then go home and get some sleep. At least a short nap in a proper bed.”

A faint smile drew in Anna’s face at the small, protective squeeze Kai gave Kristoff’s shoulder as he spoke. No matter how serious and unaffected Kai seemed to be, Anna knew that deep down he was only pretending to stay strong for his family.

“What about Elsa?” Kristoff asked, looking over his father's shoulder at the door where Gerda and Nielsen had disappeared.

“Your mother will stay with her, of course.” Kai smiled sadly as he looked in the same direction. “No one’s moving Gerda from her side.”

Anna understood perfectly what he meant. After having heard the stories Elsa shared with her, after long hours studying together, she knew how much love the old woman had for her adoptive daughter. She couldn’t phantom the idea of Gerda leaving Elsa on her own now that she’d been allowed to stay by her side.

“And don't worry about your mother,” Kai continued, knowing well Kristoff would continue disagreeing. “I'll go talk to the chief, fill out some forms, and ask for a few days off. I'll be back in an hour or two.”

“That's too long.” Kristoff insisted, unsure about leaving. “Take a cab. I'll stay.” 

“There's nothing you can do here,” Kai said with a sigh, as if he knew this was going to happen from the very beginning. “Only Gerda is allowed in Elsa's room. And your mother has Nielsen. He might seem too harsh at times, but they’ve been friends for years. He will help her and Elsa with anything they need.”

Kristoff looked at the glass door once again and then he turned to Anna, hoping she’d have something to say in the matter. But once again, Anna had no idea what to say. She couldn’t help but feeling whatever she said would be the wrong thing at that moment.

“I don't know… I feel awful leaving,” He finally said, when he realised Anna wouldn’t pick sides.

Tightening his hold on his son’s shoulder, Kai insisted, “You need to take a shower and rest…” He pointed to his son’s work clothes, as if it was all the proof he needed. “Not to mention go to work in only a couple of hours.”

Looking down, Kristoff sighed and admitted, "I don't think I can go to work anytime soon.”

Surprising both Kristoff and Anna, Kai smiled and pulled Kristoff into his arms into a tight embrace. "I can't blame you," the old man whispered. "But we might need your help in the near future. Someone to help us take care of Elsa. I don't want you to have problems at work when the time comes.”

Anna's eyes brimmed with tears at the peculiar love display from her father-in-law. It only served to prove how serious the situation was, and how much the stoic man needed some comfort as well.

"But—"

"Let's go, Kristoff, please." Kai begged, finally letting go of his son, but keeping both hands on his shoulders so he’d look at him. "We can argue all you want on the way home, but I need to stop at the police station before meeting some nurses in a couple of hours."

Sighing deeply, Kristoff combed back his hair with his hands, trying to release some stress. “I guess there is no reason to stay in these awful plastic chairs,” he finally accepted. Turning to Anna, he offered her his hand and helped her to her feet. “Come on. Let's go.”

She stood up, unsure of what else to do but follow them. Facing Kai, she dared speak for the first time. Hoping it wasn’t too late to show Kristoff she had his back. “Are you sure Gerda will be okay on her own?”

Kai nodded with a small smile. “I'll be before she knows I’m gone. Don't worry.” He then watched them for a moment, before calling their attention one last time.

---

As they left the hospital, Anna took some distance from the men in front of her, walking a few steps behind Kai and Kristoff, absorbed in her own thoughts. Her mind kept going back to Elsa and how sick she had seemed to be in the early evening when she left the Bjorgman’s house. She felt like an idiot for wasting minutes, sitting by Elsa’s side before she went to look for Gerda. She felt useless for it, though deep down she knew she couldn’t place the blame on herself. No one could. They all had tried to help Elsa the best way they could, trying in the process to keep Elsa’s wishes in mind.

When they left the wards, Anna suddenly remembered about Marshall and his worried look as he was left in the waiting room on his own. Looking around, she hoped she could see him, let him know what was going on, even if she was certain the news was going to crush him.

To her disappointment, the mountaineer wasn’t there. And she couldn’t blame him for leaving; after all, he had been forced to stay outside for hours. Being kept in the dark of what was going on, and unsure of when he’d get some news. When she peeked at the clock, she was surprised to see it was already half past five, proving his decision was only logical. Anyone would have gotten sick of the uncertainty and the waiting at some point.

She exited the building and began walking towards the car park, still lost in her own thoughts, when she heard Kai call the mountaineer’s name.

“Hålkesen, you’re still here,” he exclaimed, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. “I was certain you had left hours ago.”

Looking up, Anna hurried to Kristoff’s side who was only a few steps behind his father. That’s when she saw Marshall. He was sitting in the hood of his old truck, arms resting on his knees, and his head hanging low. He barely raised his head at the mention of his name, but he made sure to look at Kai as he spoke. Anna also noticed he tried, and failed, to hide a brown bottle in between his knees.

“Thank you for your help tonight,” Kai said, barely stopping in front of him. “My son will take me home now.”

“Yes, sir,” Marshall murmured with a nod of his head.

He was trying to be as respectful as ever, but Anna knew there was some resentment behind his words.

“You should go home and rest.” Kai finally said, not giving him a second glance, as he began walking towards Kristoff’s truck on the other side of the car park.

Anna stopped in front of Marshall, offering him a small smile. She looked at Kristoff, hoping he’d be the one to deliver the news to him; but, to her displeasure, Kristoff only followed his father in silence, too lost in his own thoughts to even address the man who had been helping his family all evening. Feeling bad for Marshall, Anna stayed, wondering how exactly she could tell him what they had been told. She could understand the annoyed glance Marshall sent Kristoff and Kai, but she wished he wouldn’t let his anger on her. After all, she agreed with him. It was unfair to leave him off after everything he had done. For some reason, it didn’t seem to be enough for Kai to stop and talk to him for at least two minutes.

“Anna, you coming?”

She heard Kristoff call her name in the distance, and for a short moment she almost followed him. But then she remembered her mother’s car was parked only a few metres away from where she was standing. “Mum’s car is over here. I'll see you in a couple of hours, okay? Try to get some sleep, honey.”

Kristoff smiled at her in the distance and promised to do so, before he finally got in the driver seat of his truck. Anna watched them leave and only then she turned to Marshall once again.

“I didn’t know you were out here,” she said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Marshall raised his head, finally looking back at her. His grey eyes looked a lot darker in the dim light of dawn; yet, she could still see that what she thought to be anger and resentment was mostly sadness.

“I couldn’t stand the ticking of the clock,” he said in a low voice. “It was driving me insane.”

Anna nodded, even though she wasn’t sure which clock he was talking about. “May I?” she said, pointing to the empty space on the hood by his side.

Marshall nodded and moved slightly to the left, to make sure they both could sit. Not caring about her presence, he then raised the bottle to his lips and took a long sip from whatever it was he was drinking.

“Did you get to see her?” he asked when she made herself as comfortable as possible in the cold metal hood next to him. The smell of his breath confirmed what she already suspected: it wasn’t the first bottle of the night.

“No,” she answered, trying to ignore the unhealthy coping mechanism. “Only Gerda is allowed in her room.”

“Is there a diagnosis?” He wasn’t slurring in his speech and he was asking coherent things, to which Anna was thankful, at least he was not drunk.

“No test results yet,” she made sure to clarify. “But Nielsen said it's most certainly sepsis. I suppose you know what it is…” She hoped he did since she had no idea how to explain the things Nielsen had told them in a matter of minutes.

His deep long sigh told Anna he knew exactly what she was talking about, and his discouraged reaction did nothing to help Anna stay any positive.

After a long, uncomfortable silence, he turned to look at her with sad eyes. “How is she?”

For a moment Anna thought about lying, making him believe things were not as bad as Nielsen had said. But there was no reason to. With his experience, he’d be a lot more ready to face the truth than they were, even when he looked as if he was about to crumble. She looked down, wishing he didn't, and said the only thing that came to mind. “Not good.” Not good didn’t even begin to explain what was going on, but she had no idea what else to say.

“Her vitals aren’t stable yet…” It wasn't a question. He already knew. But Anna understood he was looking for confirmation of some kind.

“No,” she said, not meeting his eyes. “They're quite concerned about her oxygen levels.”

“Fuck.” he muttered as he ran his hand through his hair and let it rest on the back of his neck, as he hand his head low once again.

She could hear the worry in his voice even though he had muttered the word so low she almost didn't hear him. Anna looked up at the changing colours of the sky as she tried to give themselves a moment to gather their thoughts.

After a couple of minutes, in which none said a word, Anna turned to him, wanting to ask him about something Nielsen had said and she hadn’t truly understood. “Nielsen said something about people going into septic shock when they can’t help patients soon enough…”

Alarmed at what she had just said, Marshall left the bottle behind them and grabbed Anna’s shoulder so she’d look at him. “She hasn’t gone into septic shock, has she?”

Taken aback by his sudden reaction, Anna took a few deep breaths to calm her own racing heart. “No. Not yet, at least. He said they’re doing everything in their powers to avoid it. I know it’s stupid to ask but… It isn't good, is it?”

Sighing in relief, he let go of her shoulder and leaned forwards, resting his arms on his knees once again. “No. Even if she pulls through, it can cause some serious permanent damage.”

Anna felt her chest tightening once again. The idea of Elsa not making it was enough to make her want to crawl in bed and cry her heart out. But now that Marshall was confirming she could end up living the rest of her life with serious physical or mental damage, she couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t selfish to wish she made it out at all costs. The mere thought of her sister having to endure any of those things, made it impossible for Anna to hold back the tears at that moment. And before she knew it, the dam broke.

Hiding her face in her hands, she allowed herself to cry out all the sadness and worry of the last few hours. She was relieved to know she didn't need to be strong in front of Marshall as she needed to be in front of Kristoff. She didn't care if she made the mountaineer uncomfortable, or her cries made him worry even more. What was going on felt like too much to even pretend she could bear it.

“She was okay a few hours ago,” she tried to say I'm between sobs. “I mean, she clearly wasn't okay but—” Taking in a deep breath, she tried to order her words. “It was just a fever. I never thought… Life's not fair.”

Moving closer, Marshall put his arm around Anna's shoulder, giving her an awkward side hug. “I'm so sorry, Anna.” She felt him tightening his grip in an attempt to soothe her pain. “I should've done something sooner.”

“This isn't your fault,” Anna managed to say.

“Not my fault?” Marshall exclaimed, as if he was offended she didn’t think so. “I knew she needed proper medical care when she first got injured and I didn’t help her. I let her powers distract me from what was truly important.”

The scowl on his face was enough to tell Anna he truly believed he was the one to blame, and she couldn't accept it. No matter what had happened, Anna knew Marshall was not guilty. He was incapable of hurting Elsa; just a glance told her he'd change places with her at that very moment if he only could. But she also knew he was a stubborn man who wouldn't accept otherwise unless he was proven wrong.

“Those bandages are from that night, aren't they?” Anna pointed out when she calmed her breathing. “Elsa told me she hurt you.”

“Huh?” Looking down, he paid attention to his bandages for the first time that day. “Yes, her ice burnt my skin. But she didn't hurt me. Not on purpose.”

“You had more than one reason to lose focus, Marshall.” After drying a couple more tears, Anna cleared her throat. She wanted him to listen to her and trust what she was saying. “You can't blame yourself.”

“What about the other day?” He asked, now looking back at her. “I knew she had a high fever yet I didn't help her until it was too late.”

“Too late?”

“I gave the infection a head start,” he admitted. “I should’ve checked her hand in the morning, as soon as she woke up. It was obvious she was feeling sick and I just suggested she sleep it off.”

“Marshall—”

“I was selfish…” he said, letting go of her. “I wanted her to stay with me a bit longer.”

Even if it was the closest he had ever come to admitting loving Elsa, Anna couldn't rejoice at it. It was bittersweet at most. Anna felt it was incredibly unfair for him to be blaming himself just because he had wanted to spend some more time with her. Anna wasn’t sure if Elsa and Marshall had spent the night together or not, but something had clearly changed between them that night, and now Marshall couldn't look back at that moment without feeling extremely guilty. And Anna hated it.

“Elsa made her own choices, Marshall.” She knew it was useless to argue, but she had to try. “Running away from you, lying to Kai and Gerda about what really happened, even hiding her pain… Those were her choices.”

“Two nights ago, when we talked,” he clarified. “She looked exhausted.” He was angry now, and Anna understood there weren't many things she could say to change his mind. “I should've known something wasn't right.”

“You had no way of knowing. You can't blame yourself.”

He didn't answer and he didn't look at her either. He simply stayed silent, head hanging low. Anna didn't know him as well as Elsa did, and half the things she believed to be true about the man were her own conjectures, but she knew she couldn't let him believe he was to blame for the way things had turned. If something were to happen to her sister, it'd be too much for him to bear.

“Elsa loves you.” Perhaps she was crossing a line. And perhaps she was getting his hopes up. But as long as it helped him find some peace of mind, then she'd rather do it. “She may not show it. She may not know it, actually… but I know she does.” Anna had his attention, even when he wasn't looking at her. “And I know she wouldn't let anyone blame you for what happened. What makes you think she'd let you blame yourself?”

To Anna’s surprise, Marshall didn’t answer. He only hid his face in his hands and drew in a shaky breath. She knew he was trying to process everything that was going on in just a few minutes and she felt it was best to give him a moment. No matter how close they had strangely become lately, Anna knew he was still a reserved man, who probably needed time to think before he did. 

Putting her hands behind her, Anna rested her weight on her arms in an attempt to look at the sky while she gave him some time to get himself together. And in doing so, she knocked down the bottle he had placed behind them. The drink spilled and she was quick to pick it up, avoiding a bigger mess.

She looked at the label and then at Marshall. The drink wasn’t strong. Just a light beer. But still, the fact he had chosen to drink his worry away didn’t set well with Anna. If not for the mountaineer’s health, for her own sister’s happiness. Deep down Anna wanted to believe they were a perfect match for each other, but she wouldn’t root for a person who could end up hurting her sister in the long run.

Not holding herself back, she leaned forward to meet his eyes. “And she wouldn't like to see you drinking over this.”

Marshall sighed once more, and finally let go of his face. Looking at Anna, he took the bottle from her hand. “I know.” He looked at the liquid inside for a short moment and then decided to pour it on the ground. “She's the only person who has ever kept count of how many beers I drink whenever we hang out.” Leaning back, he rested his weight on his elbows and looked up at the sky. “I don't know why she does it, but she always gives me a warning when I drink more than two.”

“Because she cares,” Anna said matter-of-factly. Looking around, she tried to see if there were any other bottles lying at the side of the truck. “How many have you drunk?” 

“This was the third one.”

“So… you've had more than two.”

Marshall smiled, thankful for what she was doing and Anna felt relieved he didn’t mind she was taking up her sister’s role at that moment. Anna smiled back before she said, “Do you have a place to stay? I don't think you should go back to the mountain after—”

“I'm not drunk, Anna.” Marshall stopped her, dropping his smile. “I just had a long night.”

“We all did.”

The two of them looked at each other, daring the other to contradict them. And to Anna’s surprise, he was the first to relent.

“I was planning on staying at my mother’s for a day or two,” he said with a tired sigh. “She lives close by.”

“Okay, that’s good.” She wouldn’t admit how thankful she was at not having to convince him. Jumping off the hood, she began walking towards her mother's car before she turned around and said, “Let's go.”

“What?”

“I'm taking you home. Come on.”

Sitting up straighter, he exclaimed, “I’m sitting on my truck. There's no need to drive me anywhere.”

“I won't let you drive like this. Besides, I'll feel more useful taking you home than sitting here until you sober up.”

He smiled again when he had finally understood she was only trying to return the favour of the night before.

---

After dropping Marshall off, and promising to call him as soon as she got some news, Anna drove back home. The city was already awake by the time she finally arrived, so she wasn’t surprised to find both her parents awake. What did shock her was to find them arguing so early in the day.

Even if fights between her parents had been rare when she was growing up, she now was becoming accustomed to them. The truth about Elsa coming to light had broken something in her family, and no matter how hard Idunn and Agdar had tried to pretend they could overcome any storm together, Anna knew they were drifting apart as the months went by.

There were days she wished things would’ve stayed the same, at least to find some comfort whenever she came home. But deep down, she felt it was only fair they had to endure some consequences for their actions all those years ago.

Walking into the dining room, she threw her keys onto the table and sat down with a heavy sigh. Idunn and Agdar, still unaware of her presence, kept arguing in the kitchen, and she tried to listen to the things they were saying. Wondering if intervening was worth it, Anna pushed the idea aside after a minute. She couldn’t focus on them at that moment. Her head was pounding and the only thing she could think about was her sister. Her conversation with Marshall on the way to his mother’s house had helped them find some much distraction; but now that she was alone, she felt the worry and fear for her sister’s health returning.

Even if things began to improve in the next few hours, there were no guarantees Elsa wouldn't end up with severe health problems. And the more she thought about it, the more Anna felt like crying. Her sister had gone through so much in her life at a young age, and apparently it hadn't been enough. Making Anna think that whatever Elsa had done in a previous life had to be terrible enough to justify even half of the things she had to go through in this one.

She wasn’t sure how much time went by until she heard the argument in the other room come to a stop, and a few seconds later she saw her mother walking into the dining room where she was still sitting.

“Anna!” Idunn exclaimed, when she finally noticed she had returned. “Dear, when did you come back? How’s your sister?”

“Could you two stop arguing for a moment?” Anna said, trying not to show how incredibly close she was from breaking down.

Clearly uncomfortable at having been heard, Idunn turned her face to the kitchen and then to her once again, unsure of what to say.

“The day hasn't started,” Anna continued. “Yet you're doing your absolute best to irritate each other.”

“Anna…”

“We were not fighting,” Agdar, who had just entered the room, said suddenly, interrupting Idunn before she got the chance to speak.

“Sure.” Anna wasn’t often sarcastic around Agdar, but she couldn’t stand it when he tried to downplay the things going on around them. “And things haven't been uncomfortably tense between you two for days either.”

“Dear, there are some things that—”

“I don't want to know what happened.” Anna stopped her before she said too much. She had to deal with too much crap and bad news already, the last thing she needed was to get involved in their problems. “I just want to have one less thing to worry about. Stop arguing.”

“Well, this is our house. And we've got the right to—” Agdar tried to say, clearly bothered by Anna’s tone, but before he could say anything else, Anna interrupted.

“Yes, you do.” She said, her eyes filling up with tears. “All I'm saying is your problems are not the only ones that matter. So, excuse me for feeling like shit already and not wanting to hear you two going  at each other as soon as I come back home from the hospital!”

“Hospital?” Dropping his defensive mood, Agdar lowered his voice and asked, “What do you mean hospital? What happened?”

“How's Elsa?” Idunn asked in a low voice, her concern for her eldest daughter returning. 

“Elsa?” Agdar looked at his wife and then at Anna once again. “What happened to her?”

“An infection got out of control. She's unconscious and they don't know if she'll make it.” Anna answered, avoiding her parents' eyes. She tried to talk fast and give all the information to her parents before she broke down, but she couldn’t really keep the tears at bay.

Anna felt terrible, not only for Elsa but for her mother as well. No matter how mad she was at her parents for all the things they had done and continue doing, Anna was certain the love Idunn had for Elsa was real, and she wasn’t strong enough to watch her heart break over the news.

No one said anything for over a minute and Anna felt it was necessary to raise her head and make sure they understood what she had just said. And when she did, she noticed Idunn was frozen in place, her tear-filled eyes looking straight back at her.

“Not make it?” Agdar asked when Anna turned to look at him. “Anna, do you mean…” He didn’t find the courage to ask what he wanted and Anna couldn’t blame him.

---

For the next hour, Anna tried her best to fill her parents in on what had happened. It had proven to be a difficult task, since she had to go back several days to let them make sense of everything that was going on. More than once she noticed they had been about to ask questions about Elsa and how she was feeling, but Anna had kept on talking, knowing the most important thing at that moment was Elsa’s health.

When she finished speaking, the only thing that could be heard in the house were Idunn’s failed attempts to stop herself from crying. As soon as Anna had explained in detail Elsa’s diagnosis — and the things Nielsen had said — her mother had broken down in tears, and there seemed to be nothing that could make her stop.

“How didn't she notice?” Agdar was the first to talk, when after some minutes of Anna trying to calm her mother down had seemed to work. “Her hand must have been hurting a lot…”

Anna caressed her mother’s hand with her thumb once more before she looked at her father. “She hasn't been in a good place lately.” She felt strange finally sharing the things that had been worrying her about Elsa, but she couldn’t find a good way to explain the situation without sharing more of Elsa’s life with them. “The night she cut her hand open, she lost control of her powers and hurt someone she loves by mistake. She came to town to get away from him and hide, but there are things she could not escape. She ignored her wound until it was already infected, too concerned about other things at the time. To make matters worse, the infection developed fast.” She remembered Nielsen admitting he was disconcerted about how fast it all had happened. “It’s not uncommon, but they'll still try to find a reason. See if her immune system is impaired in some way.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Agdar asked in a low voice, lost at how to help in such a delicate situation.

“There isn't much to do but wait…” Anna sighed, as she looked at her mother once again. It broke her heart to see her inconsolable. But no matter what Anna said, she knew it was going to be a lie. The truth was there wasn’t much to do but wait and hope things turned up for the best. She could only expect the new day would bring something to look forward to.

---

First of all, I want to apologise for the long wait. I truly wanted to publish this during October but life has been hectic lately. I haven’t had a weekend for myself in over a month, except for a few hours here or there. Work, friends’ visits, helping other friends move house, being a presiding officer twice in the last month (general elections and the subsequent ballotage)... I’m exhausted, really. And I still need to face the end of the year and the piles and piles of exams to correct. These things have consumed too much time leaving little to no time to sit and write. I kept writing here or there whenever I could, but when I sat down to check what I had written I felt like it was garbish and I started again. So, that’s that. The good thing is I’m doing good and it’s just lack of time and not lack of inspiration that's stopping me. I’m all the time plotting and writing down ideas, and that’s good for the story.

Now, about the chapter, I know some of you may feel like time stood still in this chapter but I wanted to take the time and see what went through Anna’s head during the night. Even though Elsa is the person who connects everybody in this story, I think Anna is the bridge between the two sides (or three if you consider Marshall to be on an entirely different side of things.) And well, I wanted to see how she dealt with everything that’s going on.

I hope you have enjoyed the chapter, regardless of what you expected to read in it. But rest assured that I’ll tackle all — or at least most — of the details I’ve left open in the story so far, and that you’ve been mentioning in the comments. As always, thank you for commenting about those things and leaving such amazing messages and analyses. I’m surprised at how many of you are health professionals, and even more surprised to see that you have taken the time to leave a diagnosis or shown concern about Elsa’s health! It warms my heart the attention to detail you guys show me, truly. I hope my story keeps you company during long shifts at work or when you come home tired. Thank you for your hard work and dedication to help people! Thank you as well to all the other readers who haven’t commented but always show their love through kudos or shares. When I first started this story, I made it clear that I was going to finish it because I was writing it for myself, and it was a personal challenge, but now I feel like this story wouldn’t have come this far without you. So, thank you!

Feel free to leave a comment sharing what you think of the chapter or pointing out anything that seems amiss. Everything helps me in the process.

PS - I owe many many answers and reviews to you guys. I promise I’ll do it as soon as possible. In the meantime, enjoy!

Read you soon!

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[killed-by-choice]

“Becky Roe,” 18 (USA 1971)

“Becky” was a sophomore in college when she went to her university’s health center seeking an abortion. She wanted to have an abortion without her parents knowing she had been pregnant, but could not do so at that location since she was two weeks from her 18th birthday.

Instead of telling her parents the truth (or even waiting two more weeks), Becky traveled to New York City to have the abortion in secret. She thought she was in the first trimester, but the abortion facility estimated that she was in fact 16 weeks pregnant. She was put through a hazardous but legal saline abortion.

The 17-year-old endured an excruciating ordeal in an unfamiliar state without her family. After being injected with hypertonic saline on September 24, she spent 22 hours in labor before delivering a stillborn child covered in chemical burns. For the duration of labor, she had to receive a constant IV infusion of oxytocin.

Eight hours after delivering her dead baby, Becky became feverish. She was hospitalized for three days, then prescribed antibiotics and discharged even though her temperature was 102 degrees.

Becky went home to Arkansas, sick and aching. She saw a doctor the next day but did not tell the doctor about the abortion. Without critical information, the doctor didn’t realize how much danger she was in. Becky was given an antibiotic injection and returned the next day for another one. Her symptoms had not improved.

On September 30, Becky returned to the doctor for the third day in a row. She was suffering from shaking chills and had a fever of 101. Only then did she tell her doctor the truth behind her illness. Recognizing the danger, her doctor told her to go to the hospital.

On the morning of October 1, Becky was admitted to the hospital. (It is unknown why she waited until the next morning, but her skyrocketing fever may have affected her judgement.) She was in shock with a fever of 106 degrees. Blood cultures grew an antibiotic-resistant strain of Staph. aureus bacteria. Becky was treated vigorously, but died of septic shock on October 5, 1971. She had turned 18 just days before her death.

[scotianostra]

On 14th December 1542, James V died at the age of 30.

When h is father, James IV was killed at Flodden, yet another royal minority ensued, for his son James V was only one year old when he became the kKing.

The Scots were reluctant to accept his English mother Margaret Tudor as Regent, and after her remarriage in 1514 they replaced her with James IV's half-French cousin, the Duke of Albany.

Queen Margaret's tempestuous private life complicated her son's childhood, and after she divorced her second husband, Archibald Douglas 6th Earl of Angus, the Earl kidnapped young James.

For two years he held him captive, showering him with gifts and introducing him to a round of unsuitable pleasures. James loathed his former stepfather, and finally managed to escape in 1528, to rule by himself.

James' personal rule began by savagely pursuing his opponents and he hounded the Earl of Angus out of Scotland. James combined suspicion of nobles with a popular touch, travelling anonymously among Scottish people as the 'Gudeman o'Ballengeich', The Gudeman of Ballengeich.

John Knox described him thus: 'he was called of some, a good poor man's king; of others he was termed a murderer of the nobility, and one that had decreed their whole destruction'.

In 1536 he decided to marry. A highly strung, intelligent man who alternated between black depression and bouts of feverish energy, he had already fathered at least nine illegitimate children by a series of mistresses.

He now chose as his wife Princess Madeleine of France, for he was eager to strengthen 'the Auld Alliance' against England. The Princess was a frail wee lassie, her father was not keen on sending her to Scotland and it’s harsher climate, she died in his arms on 7th July 1537, seven weeks after her arrival in Edinburgh, she was only 16.

In 1538 he married another French lady, the widowed Mary of Guise, tall, well-built and already the mother of two sons. She had two more sons by James but they both died in infancy within hours of each other in 1541.

James V's uncle, Henry VIII, who had by now broken with the Roman Catholic Church and dissolved the monasteries, was urging him to do the same. He refused to listen to his uncle's persuasions and in 1542 failed to go to an arranged meeting with Henry at York.

Furious, Henry launched an invasion of Scotland. Already ill, James marched south with his army, to defeat at the Battle of Solway Moss on the Scottish/English Border, on 24 November 1542.

Although he himself had not been present at the battle, James suffered a complete nervous collapse. Retiring to Falkland Palace in Fife he took to his bed with a high fever and, when a messenger came to tell him that his pregnant queen had given birth to a daughter instead of the hoped-for son, he believed that the Stewart dynasty was at an end.

'It cam wi' a lass and it will gang wi' a lass', he said, remembering how the crown had come to his family through Marjorie Bruce and fearing that no woman could ever rule his troubled nation. Six days later, he was dead.

James V King of Scots was buried at Holyrood Abbey beside his first wife Queen Madeleine. His tomb. like many other Scottish kings was destroyed during the reformation was rediscovered and reported as such by John Lauder, Lord Fountainhall, one of Scotland’s leading jurists and historians of the era, you can read an account of this event here https://marieguiselorraine2015.com/.../1683-rediscovery.../

[john-macnamara]

It's very cute that Mr. Mega thinks his refusal to read our leaks means anything. We'll continue sharing them, and people will continue reading them. But here, for you, Mr. Curt Mega, we have provided the medical report from John's time in the hospital after the ten days of sleeplessness he spoke of. Thank us later!

Mount Sinai Hospital Treatment Report: Johnathan S. MacNamara

Date of Admission: September 9, 2012

Date of Discharge: November 17, 2012

The patient was admitted to the Emergency Room at 6:24 AM, 09/05/12 and evaluated to be in critical condition almost immediately. He exhibited signs of septic shock, including: lung failure, kidney failure, liver failure, a blood pressure of 68/43 mm Hg, and a heart rate of 134 BPM. In addition, he showed signs of infection stemming from an abdominal laceration approximately 30 inches in length and on average approximately 2 inches deep. The exhibited signs included: seizures, a consistent 105° F fever, swelling around the wound, pus in and around the wound, and human fecal matter smeared across the abdominal region. The lattermost sign was not so much a symptom as an obvious cause.

The patient's wounds were immediately cleaned with heavy disinfectants and a tracheostomy was preformed. He was attached to a mechanical ventilator and the blood-oxygen levels slowly stabilized. Patient was admitted to the ICU for further treatment at 7:36 PM, 09/05/12. Injuries upon admission were mapped as follows:

1. Bullet entry and exit through right deltoid. 2. Large laceration across midsection. Shows signs of heavy bacterial and viral infection. 3. Second-degree burn in the shape of greek letter omega. 4. Electric burns on lower right back. Presumably from high-voltage taser or cattle prod. 5. Intense electric burns in genital and inner-thigh areas. 6. Hamstrings lacerated. Presumably to constrict movement of legs.

Upon admission to the ICU, the patient was administered a standard dose of penicillin. There had been no signs of consciousness since arrival to the hospital, however the patient did appear to be in a survivable state. Within the unit, he was attached to a dialysis machine and given a steady IV of saline solution and another one that contained water-soluble vitamins and nutrients. Once the infection showed no further sign of spreading, the patient was given an emergency liver transplant. This occurred on 09/06/12.

The transplant succeeded, and the liver immediately began to filter blood and further cleared the infection. The decision was made to keep the patient on the dialysis machine until the infection and subsequent sepsis was cleared, and after a partial recovery from the first transplant occurred.

After 57 hours of total unconsciousness and unresponsiveness, the patient was declared to be in a coma caused by toxic-metabolic encephalopathy. He was assumed to wake up within the month.

The tracheostomy ventilator was removed on 09/23/12 and replaced with a laryngoscopic ventilator. This was changed once more on 10/03/12 when it was replaced with a mask ventilator.

The genital burns required a skin graft, but otherwise healed normally without infection or complications.

At 1:58 PM on 10/09/12, the patient began to react to outside stimuli. He moved when touched and made audible responses to pain. Over the next few days, he began to react to auditory and olfactory stimuli in addition to touch-based reactions increasing in consistency. By 10/12/12, the patient could follow simple commands and had managed to open his eyes a few times.

On 10/15/12 at approximately 12:30 AM, the patient awoke in a frenzied state. He attempted to rip out IVs and pulled off the ventilation mask and appeared to be unaware of where he was. It took excessive physical force, but he was eventually restrained and slowly calmed. He fell back asleep soon after, but showed greater signs of healing by that point. The next afternoon, he gave an official record of what happened to him, which provided a more accurate method of how to treat him. He consented to a kidney transplant and went into surgery on 10/18/12.

There were no complications during the surgery, and the donor was the wife of the patient, Rosalind M. Schaffer. She didn't suffer any complications from the donation either.

After the surgery, he was moved from the ICU and into the recovery wing with a private room.

The patient was dosed on standard pain medication over recovery, and showed no infectious flare-ups over recovery. He was monitored for lasting impacts of his wounds or disease, and had gained a noticeable tremor in both his hands. He underwent physical therapy while in the hospital's care, allowing him to regain full motion in his legs and to lessen his hand tremors.

The patient was discharged at 8:14 PM on 11/17/12 with a clean bill of health and prescribed a pain medication for as long as needed. It was also recommended that the patient stop smoking, as his lungs had previously failed once and it could be a major risk factor. The patient obviously did not follow the advice, as he was seen smoking a cigarette the second he left hospital grounds.

[twicesserafim]

Try Again.

Dammit. Pt. 3

Third Person Pov:

"im really tired today, i played badminton for 4 hours yesterday and my legs hurt like crazy, it hurts when i'm sitting too, i can't run or climb, i'm sorry eun." "it's okay, what about tomorrow?" "im not sure i can"

"oh.. well.. i wish i could help you, i miss you a lot. I hope you feel better soon, it's okay that you can't sneak over, don't feel bad, okay?" "yeah, i'm sorry though" "don't apologize, it's not your fault" "i think i'm sick too"

"yeah.. your voice sounds a little weird. Are you okay?" "my head hurts, i'm sweaty, nauseous and im coughing a lot, my nose is running too" "and you think your sick? honey, you are sick." "i feel really hot" "you are"

The two of you chuckled a bit before Eunchae continued. "i'm joking, but seriously though, you're burning up? are you okay?" "i don't really know" "did you take medicine yet?" "yeah" "i have to get to practice, i'm sorry. Feel better soon, i miss you."

"i miss you too, stay safe, eun." "you too, y/n/n."

...

Eunchae Pov:

"unnies?" They all turned their heads towards me and hummed, "what's up?" "hm?" "why did you stop me from hanging out with y/n?" "it's like a punishment for you getting home late and she's obviously not protecting you and getting you home safe"

"do you want her to run around at midnight to drop me off at the dorm?" "well.. no" "unnie, she's sick. after practice can i please go get some stuff and go see her?" "eunchae-" "please. she's really sick. She's burning up and everything."

"fine. But home before 8, we're picking you up." "but unnie-" "no buts, we're picking you up at 8" chaewon said as i sighed but agreed. I just hope we get out of practice before 7:30.

...

Third Person Pov:

Thank god they got out at 6, eunchae got a few things like snacks, drinks, a cooling gel thing to put of your forehead to help with your fever. She also got flowers but hid those in her bag.

"thanks unnies, see you later, love you!"

...

"eun?" "hey, love." "how did you-" "i asked them to let me come over because you're sick, but i have to go at 8" you sat up slightly as she pushed you back down, "it's 6:30. Don't do anything, i'm here now"

...

Eunchae laid down, wrapping her arms around you. "you'll get sick, your unnies are gonna kill me" "i don't care" "eun.." "stop stressing, i just want you to feel better. I miss you more than anything."

"fine.. but if you get sick, i'm dead. i hope you know that" "i know"

...

"eunchae, we're on our way to pick you up" eunchae sighed. "okay." she looked at your sleeping figure, your skin still so hot, you let out a few gut wrenching coughs. She rubbed your back, her eyes filled with worry.

You quickly fell asleep after coughing, still so tired from just being sick. She didn't want to wake you, because she knew if she told you she's leaving soon, you would force yourself awake to be with her.

So eunchae just stayed quiet, rubbing her thumb against your skin. Until the phone again. "we're here, eunchae" "mhm.." she hummed, your guardians were away on a buisness trip so you were alone.

It was hard for her to leave, she kissed the top of your head. "i'm sorry, darling. But i gotta go. Feel better soon, okay?" "mm.. i'll miss you eun.." "i'll miss you too" "i'll get better so i can see you again" she smiled and nodded.

"that's my girl" the two of you chuckled as she kissed your hand and left your room, putting her shoes on and looking back at the door, sighing.

...

- While eunchae was at your place -

"doesn't eunchae seem happier when she's with y/n?" "yeah, i've noticed that too" "maybe we should think about this." "yeah.. ive been thinking.."

...

"Eunchae?" Kazuha muttered as eunchae got into the car. "hm" "how's she?" "bad" "are her parents home?" "no" "where are they?" "business trip" they all looked at each other, with her short replies.

They knew she was not only worried but also upset that she had to leave. Yunjin and Kazuha nodded, turning to sakura and chaewon in the front. Sakura also nodded, chaewon sighed and nodded.

"eunchae? do you wanna spend the night?" She turned around confused, "huh?" "we're letting you try again, do you wanna stay the night?" Eunchae nodded as a smile made its way on her face. "really?"

"yeah, hurry before we change our minds." "you guys are actually the best, i love you!" "we love you too, kid."

[onlyjaeyun]

DONT BE SHY YN SEND THE MESSAGE

sorry zadie baby ive been entertaining family these past few days so i finally got to catch up and chap 30 made me cry😭 butt ooo these hints of the fallout are DELICIOUS (i am not allowing my self to relax i preparation for round two) also i love the “yappa yappa yappa” bc i say “yadda yadda yadda” to my friends CONSTANTLY among other silly things

but omg i got to baby sit my 4month old cousin and 🥺🥺🥺shes so cute i want a baby SO BAD (had a dream hoon and i had a baby within these few days and i woke up and stared at the ceiling for an hour he was sucha. good girl dad🥺) but goodness shes so sweet i was so sad when they left last night and i fted them today and she lit up when she saw me this baby fever kicking my ass man🥺🥺🥺

oh goodness this is the cutest thing ever i love babies so so so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🩷 im so happy to hear that you had such a good time baby and omg i cant get over your niece pls that is literally the best thing about being an uncle/aunt and URGH i hope you get to see her asap!!!!🥺🩷

[justcallmefox89]

Irressistible Force Paradox: Chapter Three - An Open Heart Fic

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Ethan accuses Rory of the unthinkable and Rory fights his growing attraction to his former medical hero.

September 14th.  5:49 p.m.

Oh hell.

I freeze in place, fear momentarily short-circuiting my brain as Ramsey glares at me.

Do you never go home old man!?

“Rookie, you and I n - ”

“You’re a miracle worker!” Sarah gasps, interrupting Dr. Ramsey. “Do you think she’d take a bottle now? She hasn’t had anything to eat for hours.”

I smile down at Emily.  “I think that’d be just fine.”

Sarah beams at me and rushes towards Emily’s diapers bag while Jason sags against the doorframe in relief.  

“Since Emily is resting now, you and I have some things we need to discuss, Dr. O’Shea.”  Ramsey gives me a stern look and nods towards the hallway.

“Um, actually I had something I wanted to show you, Dr. Ramsey,” I meekly reply, using my free hand to motion him closer.  

“Dr. O’Shea - ”

“Please,” I implore him softly.  “I think it might be important.”

He relents, sighing and stepping closer.  “What is it, Rookie?”

I lower my voice to barely a whisper.  “I noticed when I unlocked my phone to play some music Emily flinched away from the screen, almost like the brightness hurt her eyes.”

“There could be any number of explanations for that.”

“Her reflexes are sluggish, that combined with the fever, the irritability, not eating - ”

“Look, Rookie.”  Ethan puts a hand on my shoulder.  “I can appreciate that you want to help, but all these symptoms can be attributed to the sepsis. You’ve managed to calm her down and I’m sure her parents are grateful, but leave her case to the diagnostics team.”

Insufferable.  Completely, absolutely insufferable.  And gorgeous.  And tall.  And so completely climbable.  I loathe him.

Ramsey’s eyes widen and a small sound of protest leaves his mouth as I grab his hand and gently guide his fingers to the top of Emily’s head.  His face pales as his fingertips brush over the swelling that’s nearly invisible under her dark curls.

“As I was saying, all of those symptoms combined with the severe swelling of her fontanelle, makes me think the sepsis was brought on by a severe case of meningitis,” I murmur.

Ramsey gazes down at me steadily.  “You think?  I’m not going to subject an infant to a spinal tap based on your guess.”

I grit my teeth and inhale deeply.  “I know.  I know this is meningitis.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” he says.  “I’ll page Naveen and call for an anesthesiologist.  Once we confirm, we’ll need to pinpoint what variant of meningitis we’re specifically dealing with.”

“Dr. O’Shea?  I have Emily’s bottle ready.”  Sarah steps forward and takes Emily from me, gently cradling the little girl in her arms and offering her the bottle.

I turn to leave but the sight of a can of formula sticking out of Emily’s diaper bag stops me.

“Sarah?  Has Emily always been formula fed?” I ask.

Her face falls.  “Is that a problem?  I was never able to produce enough milk for her, so we had to formula feed.”

“No, not at all,” I hurriedly reassure her.  “As long as our girl gets fed, that’s all that matters.”

“What are you thinking, Rookie?” Ramsey whispers, his warm breath ghosting over my ear.

A pleasant shiver runs through me, and I almost start to lean into him, my traitorous body reacting to his close proximity.

Get it together.

“Bacterial meningitis caused by cronobacter sakazakii.” I murmur, tilting my head towards the formula can.  

Ramsey’s eyes widen.  “My god,” he whispers.  “Stay here and update the parents.  I’m getting the rest of the team.”

Not thinking, I reach out and grab his arm before he can walk away. He must be able to see the panic on my face because he takes my hand in his and squeezes it once.   “You can do this, Rookie.  Walk them through your theory and what’s going to happen next. I’ll be back soon.”  

10:30 p.m.

Through the window of the hospital room I watch Emily rest, an IV inserted in the crook of her tiny arm.  Jason and Sarah doze fitfully in armchairs positioned next to her crib.  Emily is sleeping soundly, her face no longer flushed with a fever; a sure sign the intravenous antibiotics are working.  My shift ended three hours ago, but I can’t bring myself to leave, worried that the minute I walk out of the hospital something awful will happen.

“What are you still doing here, Rookie?”

“Could ask you the same thing, Dr. Ramsey,” I reply, my eyes never leaving Emily’s sleeping form.

“This isn’t even your case.”  A hard edge creeps into Ramsey’s voice.  

“Are you saying I should only care about the patients that I’m assigned to?”  

Ramsey sighs, scratching at the thick stubble on his jaw.  “Of course not.  A good doctor will care about every patient that walks through those doors, whether they’re assigned to them or not.  But I’m not convinced anything you did this afternoon was because you cared about the patient.”

I turn to face him and cross my arms over my chest, scowling.  “Excuse me?”

“You think any other physician here would have let you get away with that little stunt you pulled this afternoon?”  Ramsey steps closer, towering over me, and I fight the urge to back away from him.

“If you hadn’t made that solve I would have had your job, Rookie,” he continues, his voice low and dark.  “Attention-seeking stunts like that won’t land you a spot on the diagnostics team, so if you ever even think about doing something like this again you will be out on your ass.”

I blink, momentarily stunned into silence.  “You think I helped Emily just to get noticed by the diagnostics team?” I finally manage to ask, unable to keep a note of hurt out of my voice.

Ramsey rolls his eyes.  “I see it every year, ambitious interns who think that if they pull off an impressive solve -”

“You think I would use a sick child to further my career?” I seethe, drawing myself up to my full five feet four inches.  I move closer, invading his personal space and jabbing a finger into his muscled chest.  “I was waiting for test results on the one case I had, so I offered to sit with Emily so Jason and Sarah could get some rest.”

His handsome face shifts into a disdainful sneer.  “So you abandoned your own patient to help mine.”

“I was partnered with Dr. Landry on that case, and he had no issues proceeding on his own for an hour or two while I assisted Jason and Sara.  I’m surprised you don’t remember that since you went out of your way to try and humiliate him when we presented earlier today,” I hiss.

Ramsey has the good grace to momentarily look abashed, and he breaks eye contact with me as his cheeks flush a faint pink.  He clears his throat.  “Now that you have mentioned it I do seem to recall -”

“I didn’t do this to get noticed by the diagnostics team,” I continue, poking him again.  “I did it because I saw a pair of scared, first time parents falling apart because their baby was sick and inconsolable.  I did it because that family needed help.”

Ramsey catches my hand in his, sending a pleasant thrill through me, and gently pulls it away from his chest.  “I may have been hasty in my initial assessment of your motivations,” he says slowly.

I rip my hand away from him, cradling it against my chest. “Don’t ever fucking touch me again.”

I turn and hurry down the hallway, trying to ignore the way my body responded to Ramsey’s touch, and how much his accusation had hurt.

**********************************************************************************

September 17.  9:30 p.m.

“Shit.  Shit, shit, shit!” I mutter, sitting on the floor behind the intake desk and looking through the lost and found box.  I’d spent the whole day moving into a new apartment and the last thing I want to be doing is searching for my I.D. badge, but if I don’t have it tomorrow morning it will be just one more excuse for Ramsey to get on my case.  And after our last encounter outside Emily’s hospital room, I’ve been avoiding him at all costs.  I eventually find it among the sea of tangled lanyards and other bits and bobs that my fellow doctors have misplaced.

I shove the box back into place and start to stand up, wincing as the blood flows back into my lower legs.  I immediately crouch back down as raised voices carry down the corridor and draw nearer to the waiting area.  I peek over the edge of the desk, watching Ramsey throw his hands up in the air and scowl at Dr. Banerji.

“You can’t do this, Naveen!  I won’t let you!” Ramsey shouts, angrily running his hands through his hair as he paces back and forth.

“It must be done, Ethan,” Dr. Banerji says placidly.  “Not everything is in your control.  It’s time you finally learned that.”

“You are not my teacher anymore!”

Naveen gently smiles at him.  “I am always your teacher.”

“Goddamnit Naveen!”  I involuntarily gasp as Ramsey slams his fist into the wall.  Dr. Banerji sighs softly before walking away, Ramsey staring miserably after him.

What.  The. Fuck.

Faced with the choice of hiding here until Ramsey overcomes whatever internal crisis he’s going through or facing him directly… I decide to nut up. I slowly emerge from my hiding space without him noticing me.  I strongly consider just sneaking away, but then I notice the blood.  I wage a brief internal battle before making my choice.

“Dr. Ramsey?” I call out softly.

He whirls around to face me, eyes wide.  Once he recognizes me his eyes narrow and he scowls.  “Spying on me, Dr. O’Shea?”

“It’s adorable that you think I’d waste my very limited free time on you,” I snark back.

“How much did you see?” he asks, clenching his jaw.

My god, that jawline…  Focus, Rory!

I shrug.  “Enough.”

“If you speak a word about this to anyone -”

“You’re bleeding,” I interrupt.

He stares down at his hand in confusion.  “I didn’t realize…”

“Come on,” I sigh.  “Let’s get it taken care of.”

Ramsey’s shoulders stiffen.  “I am perfectly capable of -”

I roll my eyes.  “Do not fear Dr. Ramsey, even I, a lowly intern, know how to patch up busted knuckles. Just let me help.”

He refuses to move, so I grab onto the end of his tie and gently tug him towards an empty patient room.  Too shocked to protest, he obediently follows me.  Once we’re in the room I shut the door to prevent any prying eyes, and direct him to sit on the edge of the hospitable bed while I glove up and gather all the necessary items.  I sit next to him and tentatively take his hand, surprised by just how much larger it is than mine.  

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, soaking a gauze pad in saline solution and dabbing away the drying blood on Ramsey’s knuckles.

“No,” he says tersely, refusing to look at me.

“Ok,” I murmur, focusing my attention on my work.  Some of my hair falls out of my ponytail and into my eyes. “Damn.”

“Let me.”  Ramsey’s voice is rough and there’s a slight hitch in his breathing.  He extends his uninjured hand, pausing just short of touching me.  I tilt my head up, allowing him to move the loose hair out of my eyes.  His fingertips brush against the shell of my ear, lightly trailing over the curve of my jaw as he withdraws his hand; the scrap of his calloused skin against my light five o’clock shadow causes a pleasant shiver to run through me.  

I peer up at him over the rims over my glasses.  “Thank you,” I whisper, suddenly feeling nervous.

He doesn’t reply as his blue eyes rove over me, taking in every detail. “Why are you doing this?” he finally asks.

I shake my head, breaking the temporary spell he had seemingly cast over me.  “You hurt yourself,” I say, annoyed at how breathless I sound.  I snap my eyes back down to his hand, gently dabbing antiseptic cream over his cuts.

He laughs softly, the sound dark and seductive in the close quarters of the small hospital room.  “I’m fairly sure I could have managed a band-aid or two, Rookie.”

I shake my head, biting my lower lip as I concentrate on precisely placing steri-strips over his broken skin.  “I don’t know,” I finally mutter.

“You’re so different from the others,” Ramsey whispers, almost to himself.

I snap my gloves off and gather up my trash, depositing it in the appropriate disposal bins under Ramsey’s intense gaze.   “I need to go, Dr. Ramsey.  My roommates are -”

The words stutter in my chest as Ramsey stands up and catches one of my hands in his.  “I owe you an apology.”

My brain short circuits at the feel of his fingertips caressing my palm, a barely there sensation that instantly makes me wonder what that touch would feel like on other parts of my body.  “W-what?” I stammer.

“For accusing you of using Emily’s case to further your career,” he clarifies.  “It was an unfair assumption on my part, and I apologize.”

Just like that the spell is broken, the mere mention of his accusation enough infuriate me all over again.  Glaring, I jerk away from him, resolutely ignoring the faint pang of disappointment that thrums through my body as I do.  “You can take your apology and shove it up - ”

“Rookie.”  The word is a growled warning, and Ramsey has gone from contrite to furious.

“Have a nice night, Dr. Ramsey,” I say venomously as I leave the hospital room, rubbing my palm against my thigh, wishing I could erase the feeling of his touch.

[dairy-farmer]

A new fuck or die drug is going around. It's not actually too bad by Gotham standards—no actual fucking required, it just causes general sexual arousal and a rising fever that will eventually cook organs if the victim doesn't orgasm. Jerking off works though, so it doesn't actually require additional participants. It tends to last a couple hours, so the victim usually has to masturbate a few times in order to drop the fever back to normal every 30-60 minutes. But poor Tim. He's never been able to come. He did research of course, understands the emotional health benefits of masturbating and tried out a few toys, watched various videos...but he couldn't. External stimulation didn't work and it just hurt too much when he tried to push something in, even the tiniest little vibrator. He even had to go on full-time hormonal birth control to stop having periods because he hated the gross feeling of wearing pads but he couldn't use tampons without pain. Naturally Tim's been avoiding the drug like the plague, staying out of the investigation with vague excuses, but he's just not that lucky. And now he's in his room with a fever of 103, completely unable to come and he realizes he might just have to...ask for help....

at first everyone thinks it'll be an easy fix. sure it's a bit awkward having to explain to tim how to masturbate (they'd always known tim was a bit of a prude but it was news to them that tim didn't touch himself...at all. didn't all teenagers have to fight the urge to keep their hands out of their pants?)

but then tim grows more upset.

he's stripped down to a thin tank top and thin litte white shorts that tim's tugging on because he's. too. hot.

the main concern is getting tim to orgasm. his fever is already so high and no amount of ice packs pan or chilled ivs will do anything for him if they don't tackle the source of the problem.

tim's in the medical bay of the cave, he's on one of the gurneys they keep and there's a bright examination light shining down on him along with a heart monitor that has bruce pursing his lips.

bruce and dick's voices feel a million miles away. but tim can recognize dick's calloused hands as they sponge away the bit of sweat and tears streaming down tim's face.

tim's body is trembling, no matter how he shifts he feels more heat coming off him. that and....

and some damnable heat between his legs. it's a crawling sensation he can feel in his thighs and organs a pulsing that he'd find concerning if it didn't feel so good.

tim keeps gasping. every clench has something inside going all sticky and the muscles of his thighs shaking with effort.

every brushed touch of dick's gentle fingers or bruce's examining hands has him flinching.

bruce's voice is grave and tight as he wraps a hand around tim's thin wrist and leads it to the source of the pulsing.

tim sobs louder.

"i-i can't! i-it doesn't work! it doesn't work! i've tried e-everything-"

tim looks up at bruce beseechingly. begging him to believe tim.

tim really has tried to touch himself, pushing fingers through his slick wetness to rub at his clit, poking a finger into his hole before recoiling from the memory of the stretching pain and discomfort.

but...but tim's cunt is broken.

his pussy doesn't work right!

bruce's lips are pursed. his cowl is off and tim can see the furrow in his brow as he examines tim's sweaty, trembling body.

his thick hand is wrapped around tim's wrist and holding his fingers insistently between his legs.

tim's legs are spread open, the crotch of his shorts soaked through with wetness.

tim can hear as dick's voice floats into his head.

"bruce....fever spiking....brain is going to get cooked...do we do?"

tim doesn't want to die. he doesn't want to die just because his stupid body won't work write.

"b-bruce p-please, please-" tim whines.

tim wants to plead bruce to not let him die. to fix him, to stop this heat. tim is cognisant to know what that means but doesn't care about the humiliation that follows the admission.

bruce may not be able to look tim in the eyes for weeks but he wouldn't be so cruel as to let tim suffer more.

tim's eyes are rolling back into his overheated skull, he can feel steam leaking out of his ears.

this is the greatest torture. his body slowly cooking itself until his organs are nothing but warm jello unless he orgasms.

tim's mouth falls open, his lungs taking heaving breaths, panting like he's a dog. some last ditch effort by his body to cool down.

he feels the latex of the medical examination gloves meet naked skin.

the contact is warm and comforting. the hand pushes up tim's shirt to his ribs before drifting down and and pushing down the waist band of tim's little shorts. the hand is clinical.

distant in a way that tim almost feels like it's detached from the body its connected to.

tim's slit is sticky and wet, clinging to the crotch of his underwear as they'd pushed down.

tim whines as he's exposed.

he hears someone's breath hitch.

"jesus."

tim's tears are streaming down his cheeks again because dick isn't wiping them away. the latex hand that, up until then, had been steady falters.

tim heels as a middle rests gently on the hood of his clit. the clit that can't fucking work, that tim has rubbed raw because tim can feel nothing but pain as bruce touches it.

it's so red and raw and sensitive.

bruce trying to toy with it but it brings nothing but flashes of dulled pain. there's no pleasure in bruce's fondling. it's like that part of tim is dead.

tim starts humping air, trying to force bruce's hand and fingers further down to the only part of him that could work.

anything tim's tried putting inside has been rejected. the pain is just...it's too much.

but...if it helps tim feel better...he'lll do it. he'll grit his teeth through the pain and endure it all.

he doesn't want to die.

bruce's fingers travel further down to tim's opening and a single finger presses in...and stops.

"tight..."

tim can hear the frown in bruce's voice.

"too tight... dick shine me a light."

tim feels the comforting hands brushing his hair back and whispering soothing words leave and tim wants to whine for him to come back as he feels them crowd him below and it's just confirmation in tim's mind.

that he's broken.

tim feels another finger push in more forcefully and he immediatly hisses, feeling a cramp pulsate through his abdomen.

tim can tell they're discussing something but doesn't know what. he just feels two gloved fingers spreading his lips open and peering into him.

he can hear shifting, someone sifting through one of the medical supplies drawers.

"...obstructing....cause pain....microperforate...-"

tim knows the click of a fresh scalpal when he hears one and feels his concern shoot up. a small flash of pain fills him, right at his opening.

and tim can't feel the pulse of confusion as it's immediatly followed by a sudden intrusion, a sudden push that his him violently flinching and dick's yell of 'bruce!' echoing through the cave.

a grunt followed by more muffled words.

"....imbing fever....needs this....now..."

tim is suddenly struck mute, his lungs frozen on a breath as what can only be a finger, fucks into him, bottoming out and hitting something inside him.

tim is frozen still, body unable to comprehend the...feeling of being so full.

there's a slight burn as bruce forces his fingers in. tim can't help but clench down on the intrusion.

bruce grunts at that and grips one of tim's thighs, using his hold on it to spread tim open wider.

he also tugs tim closer to the edge of the gurney, bringing his bottom closer as he begins working in a second finger.

tim arches up, letting out a sharp yelp.

"bruce! that's too much!"

dick's voice is just as loud as his initial yell. he falls quiet when tim lets out a croaked moan.

tim bites down on his bottom lip, furrowing his brow and gasping when bruce fucks his fingers inside again.

he can hear how wet he is, how sloppily thick the sound of bruce's fingers sinking into him are.

tim feels the whine crawl out from somewhere deep in his throat as he throws his head back. with every push into him tim clenches down, the muscles in his thighs tighten and his hips lift up like they want to follow the fingers pulling out of him.

drool streams down from the corner of his mouth as his fingers dig into the tissue paper lining under him, tearing easily from the sweat that has soaked into it.

"ah! ah! ahnnn! hnn! mmmnn!! hah! hah! hahhnnngh!" tim's mouth has fallen open, shamelessly letting out every little sound from bruce furiously finger fucking his cunt.

tim can feel...something. something in his guts and cunt wadding up and going tight. he feels like a full sponge slowly being squeezed in a deathgrip, water dribbling and dripping out in waves until-

tim pushes himself up, hands under him as he half sits and tries to ride on the fingers deep deep into him.

tim's tears are streaking down his red, hot cheeks but none of his sobs are from pain or distress he's just....he's never felt this good before.

thankfully bruce's hand stays still, letitng tim rut his hips and grind down on them as he gasps and flinches riding out every jolt of his orgasm as he creams himself on bruce's hand.

eventually, tim's hips stop jolting, his mouth stops letting out little 'ah ah ah' sounds. he can feel as his soul slowly gets tugged back down to his body where there's a gloved hand at his neck taking his pulse and a heart monitor going crazy with the beeping beside them.

tim's skin is somehow not drenched in sweat despite the fact that he feels exhausted. bruce's fingers are tapping at his cheek, trying to get tim to open his eyes and tim does. hazily.

bruce's fingers are still inside, tip at his cervix. tim clenches down and lets out a weak moan as a gush of wetness flows out of him and onto the gurney.

"temperature is..lowering." tim can feel dick fussing over him beside him, a soft towel running down tim's arms as dick tries his best to dry them.

tim's shirt is soaked through and he tugs on it uncomfortably with all the heat it's still trapping.

"peel his shirt off." bruce orders.

thankfully, after a moment of hesitation, dick listens.

tim lets out a sound of relief, feeling as the cool air races to his wet skin and sends a small shiver down his spine.

tim should probably feel some kind of bone deep humiliation for being butt naked in front of batman and nightwing. but tim's brain is still swimming in a soup of his first-ever orgasm that he doesn't even care.

is this why people masturbate so much? is this what they all feel?

no wonder people do it.

tim's body is still coming down and all he wants is to feel that again. to feel that heart pumping build up and then the release. like a dam breaking and letting out a flood of feelings that have tim's toes curling, his body arching, and his eyes rolling back in his skull.

tim's cunt feels sensitive and is pulsing with a soft ache that tim doesn't care about.

bruce pulls his fingers out much to tim's vocal protest.

a small ring of blood is at the base of bruce's finger.

bruce catches him staring and quickly explains as he tugs the glove off his unsteady hand.

"you had a microperforate hymen tim, your opening was almost completely obstructed by a thin membrane. i conducted a quick, albeit crude hymenectomy but so long as we keep the area sterile there should be no issues. there appears to be no further bleeding but i will administer some mild pain killers to combat the discomfort."

bruce is rambling, talking as he tugs off the other glove and dumps them both into the plastic bin marked 'hazardous' where they usually dump bloody bandages and used needles.

tim watches him buzz around the cave with a sort of...on edge energy he doesn't normally have.

tim is still seated on the end of the gurney, legs spread.

dick is telling tim something about how his temperature while his temperature has stopped rising he's not out of the woods. the drug, from what they can tell, has a half life of about 6 hours. and his temperature risks the chance of spiking every half hour.

so they'll have to keep administering...aid to him until the drug is completely out of his system.

dick tests tim's cognitive ability. he's a bit disoriented and delayed in responding to questions. when he tries to get tim to his feet he's struck by a wave of dizziness.

his temperature reached dangerously high levels and its best that tim focus on resting and not making any sudden movements. he and bruce will...take over and make sure tim is okay.

tim stares at dick's face, keeping his stare even as dick avoids his eyes.

it's a long day.

and tim can honestly say its the best day he's had in a long time even if by the end his entire body is throbbing in pain.

bruce and dick both used their fingers from each hand to relieve tim of the heat that kept continuously building up inside him. tim's cunt was so sloppy, loose, and wet that their cocks had no problem fucking in.

at some point both their hands ended up cramping from the force, effort, and frequency required of them. and they'd quietly apologized to tim about having to do this, about how he'd get very sick very quickly if they allowed his temperature to spike again. they were lucky tim hadn't gotten brain damage from how high his temperature had been.

tim's cunt is split open and wide, dripping glistening wetness onto the gurney under him. tim's heaving breaths because he's pretty sure his life has been fucked out of him.

both dick and bruce have had to take turns, watching tim and monitoring his health. tim's cunt is throbbing from use and he's pretty sure he won't be able to close his legs

bruce is stroking his side, petting tim like he's a dog and murmuring soothing words.

tim's breathing is steadying, his eyelids heavy.

he knows he should stay awake. he knows he should make sure that he passes all the small tests they need to administer to him to make sure there's no permanent damange.

but tim's body is so worn. he's satiated and tired in a way he never has been before.

and he wants to sleep.

so as bruce and dick are fluttering around him- he does.

[jones-friend]

Avatar: The Way of Water

December 18, 2009: Avatar releases

2010: I have my first girlfriend

2011: I graduate high school and attend college moving from Illinois to Iowa, making a number of lifelong friends in the early months

2012: I declare a cinema arts major

2013: me and a small number of friends form a media production company, I have no idea what I’m doing

2014: I get more into dnd and mtg as hobbies with my friends

2015: I graduate from Iowa with a bachelors in cinema arts and move to Chicago interning in the Hancock building

2016: my grandmother passes away from a stroke and I return to semi-country Illinois to live with my grandfather

2017: I have a major falling out with friends I have had since elementary school and college leaving a permanent scar on multiple friend groups

2018: I escape a league of mentally detrimental jobs that put me in a dark dark place and start working in higher ed

2019: family life becomes so stressful I am forced to move out of my grandfather’s house

2020: COVID rocks the world and changes everything. We are locked down with a life threatening virus running rampant as US fascism hits its fever pitch

2021: I cut ties with my biological family

2022: multiple friends have had children or are pregnant, forming families of their own

December 16, 2022: Avatar Way of Water releases

I’ll be 30 this coming year. It has been 12yrs, 11mo, and 29 days between Avatar films. 410,140,800 seconds. It is an interesting feeling to come back to a world depicted on screen after so much time has passed, very nearly half the amount of time I’ve been alive.

My initial impressions of Avatar Way of Water is that if you enjoyed living in the world of Pandora in the first movie and would love some more adventures in Pandora you will enjoy the second movie. If you liked the tighter moviegoing experience the first offered you will feel a little let down. I don’t think this is a bad movie by any means, nor is it a mediocre movie. It is good. It just isn’t as tightly crafted as the original movie was.

God knows, it’s been so long most movies have been remade since then. Or revived under new premises a la Fantastic Beasts (which is a whole other animal to tackle). But I fully understand I’m coming to Way of Water with an entire kit of analytical skills I did not have when I watched the first movie, and this will impact my enjoyment of the second and let me look back fondly on the first.

Thinking between these two, not much has changed. Humans are one note greedy, comfortably made into cannon fodder for thrilling fight sequences. The navi are in tune with nature, peaceful, someone we can root for without complicated emotions. We have a new McGuffin or item everyone wants but it gets a back seat to the grudge match that takes importance over it. And rightfully so.

This is a movie that wants to do a lot of things in the three hours and twelve minutes it runs for. I’m not sure it is successful in all of them, feeling a bit like Star Wars Episode IX in that scenes run fast and loose, a little too loose in some places. The ending especially felt that fervent pace and could not slow down where it really needed to and let some scenes sit for more than a few seconds, instead summarizing via voice over because with 20-30mins of trailers frontloading this your audience has been sitting for four hours and we gotta get👏this👏shit👏going.

This movie s a Star Wars in that its science fantasy and don’t worry we can just make computer chip copies of your brain. It’s also a Toy Story 3, we’ve aged up the characters and moved their lives along to reflect the aging audience who first watched Avatar. It’s also a Star Trek IV where we’re saving the whales. This movie is trying to be a lot of things in 3hrs 12mins. Roughly, it succeeds.

There is a lot to be charmed by in the world of Pandora. It is a different kind of movie because in describing it, the movie acts more like an immersive experience with the viewer so I wouldn’t say “characters do X Y and Z” but you as the audience get to “make friends with a whale” and “learn to ride alien dolphins”. It is a world that continues to be lovingly crafted, like sitting in dnd with a dm who has laid out so much of their own lore and worldbuilding its just a delight to immerse yourself in.

Even when it is unfocused Avatar Way of Water is far and away a better experience than so many other theater movies. It’s drop dead gorgeous, and it doesn’t mind getting its hands dirty in that new aquatic environment immersing scenes in and out of water with ease. If you enjoy escapism I absolutely recommend seeing it while it’s in theaters, preferably IMAX.

A lot has changed since the first Avatar dropped 12 years 11 months and 29 days ago. Well, longer now, writing this on January 2nd. This movie is a comfortable return to the world of Pandora with uncomplicated premises and setups that do not challenge the viewer. It is a movie made by an action movie director with a long resume of quality work. If you bothered reading through my ramblings you likely have already made up your mind on whether or not you’d enjoy such a thing. I give a recommendation to seeing it, I love fantasy, I love escapism, and I love the world of Pandora. I am always down to revisit this chapter and will be excited to see later movies. Is it perfect? God no. There’s alien jesus, major death retcons, silly pacifism philosophies, its got flaws. But I do enjoy the quality of the world it gives me. Its one of the few things that can instill a sense of childlike wonder in myself and I treasure that sensation greatly.