#ive got too many of these to make bruh 😭

[smellsliketeen-cringe]

[choccy-milky]

OKAY HEAR ME OUT CHOCCY SEB GIVES CLORA A SNAKE RING?!?!

Soooooo rereading the fic and I’m back to chapter 33, and it totally popped into my head that they are IN THE VICTORIAN ERA and do ya know what was super popular after the engagement ring that Queen Victoria was given by Prince Albert? A SNAKE RING

AND IF THAT AINT SEB TREATING CLORA LIKE THE QUEEN SHE IS THEN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS 😭💙💚✨

Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫣😂

LMFAOO YESS TRUST ME, IVE SEEN THIS AFTER DOING MY OWN RESEARCH ABOUT VICTORIAN RINGS, ITS SO PERFECT!! AND THE FACT THAT ITS GREEN TOO LMAO, prince albert was a possessive slytherin confirmed!!🤪 but yea ill DEFS be incorporating a snake into the final design of cloras ring HAHA. i basically HAVE to...yknow, for period accuracy 🥰

WOO YAY im glad i could inspire you to start writing!!!🙏and i get it, writing fanfic is defs self indulgent and for ourselves first and foremost, but obvs nobody wants to release their work into the void😩 as for how my own fic got popular, one of the main things is defs timing. i published the first chap basically within the first week of the game being out (it came out on the 10th and my chap was on the 18th) so it was there right at the peak/start of the fandom. but i also dont wanna attribute it all to timing BAHHA cuz i think im a pretty good writer and that helps....my fic also didnt get popular right away, but i was consistently posting every single week + eventually started adding art every single week, and was just really dedicated to not only writing but also drawing art for it (which is also obvs another huge factor/probs the biggest factor). ive had so many ppl tell me they started reading my fic bc they saw my art on pinterest or something LOL, and some ppl have even read it fandom-blind bc they were into the seb/clora dynamic??? which is another point actually. i always joke about how i love my cliches and good girl+bad boy dynamics, and that im unashamed about loving them LOL, but also...they're cliches for a reason!!! lots of us eat that shit up!!!😤so i think thats defs another factor, vs if my fic was a bit more niche and avant garde LOL the fandom is also (understandably) a lot slower than it was at the beginning of the year so itll be harder in general, but maybe you could commission art to go with your fanfic? ive seen a lot of other HL fanfic writers do it, and i think it defs helps to draw attention! GOOD LUCK and i hope you keep writing!!!🫡💖💖💖🙌

huh??? go with the tide pods instead, THAT shit looks bussin😩😩

AWW TYY😭😭I LOVE THAT HAHAH AND IM GLAD U THINK SO💖💖 my friend also asked me this question after seeing my recent ask, and i STILL have no idea what i would have named it instead LMAOO, thats how bad i am at naming things. even a year later im like bruh idk!!! clora and sebs bizarre adventures??? i guess id probs make it something light/dark themed in retrospect, or something more specific to the ancient magic, but i still have no idea what LOL

[tacharie]

VERY LATE REVIEW ON EPISODE 8 WOW.

HEY GUYS SO SO SORRY IVE BEEN LATE BUT IM HERE… ROGHT BEFORE EPISODE 9 😭😭😭. guys but for realsies I don’t really have much to say for episode 8 cause I mostly forgot what happened. TIME TO BRING OUT THE SCREENSHOTS. As always, spoilers ahead of you have not already read Tokyo Debunker Episode 8, and these were written in the order of my reactions, so you will be seeing how my reactions progress. There will be no more spoiler warning ahead of this soooo pls don’t blame me DANKE :3

ohhhhhh ok ok I see this and I’m kinda not liking it!! They’re pretty and all but like… I hate auctions cause it’s like geez louise. I’ve read so many zombie manwhas where they start selling people at auctions and it makes me so uncomfortable now that I see auctions.

ANYWAYS staring off strong with my boy RITSU!! I haven’t seen you in forever my lizard looking friend what’s happening !!!

this bitch is no longer my friend. WHAT ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN FOR DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF US TURNING INTO AN ANOMALY LIKE DANG. Like Ik you’re all head first into work or whatever but geez Louise, part of being a lawyer is being empathetic to understand how to get evidence from witnesses dumb dumb.

why is this LOSER. Not listening to my glorious queen. Just because it don’t follow the charts does NOT mean that it isn’t plausible like cmon think logical here. Also, when he’s like getting mad at Taiga without actually talking to him, I can just see him shaking his fist in the air lmao. Moving on from him… ROMEO CALLED US :3!!

HAIIII ROMEO MY NEW FAVORITE OF SINOSTRA WHATS POPPING!!! Also, NEW FACE!! NEW FACE FROM ROMEO I THINK. He has an angry one all the time last time, but now this one is more like… concerned?? Idk MOVING ON!! Also, I’m starting to like Romeo and I really want to know his lore for now. Cause look at this:

Like who is doing this to you BBG!!! I kinda feel bad for him he’s js a lil guy sometimes :(

(NOT IN LIKE THE FANON MIDORIYA WAY BUT IN LIKE A he’s very pitiful sometimes)

Also dang what is with this tension between Taiga and Romeo bruh. Like they’re legit acting like exes. I DONT SHIP THEM DONT GET ME WRONG. But like… there was DEFINITELY SOMETHING. Especially since Taiga remembers his name/nickname.

Yuri and Jiro :(!!! I MISSED YOU TWOO HAIIIII!!! Guys they’re so cute lmao Yuri getting worried like a friend awwwwww… though I’m pretty sure it’s because Jiro is still his subject. ARGHH OMG 😭💕 “I was only there cause I was looking for you” AWWWWWWW THATS SO SWEET!! The whole vomiting scene was so funny and silly and cute of them I hope we see them more!!

WOAHHHHHHHHHH!!! AWOOGA HELLO 😍😍😍!!! GUYS THEY LOOK SO PRETTAYYYYY!! Dang Romeo hand selected them, no surprise there. They’re sooooo cute AND THE MC AHHHHHH SHES SO SILLY 😭😭💕💕💕!!!

“try not to be discreet” immediately grabs Taiga’s ear. Oh wow. Also Imma need Taiga to STOP WOTH THE KITTEN TALK. IVE HAD IT 😡😡. ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!

WHAT. NO. NONONONONONONONONO PLEASEEEEEEE SPARE ME WHY ME 😭😭😭. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH THESE THREE LUNATICS. BRUH TAIGA’S PROBABLY LIKE A SLEEP BITER. UH UH I REFUSE 😡. You guys are rich aren’t you?? Can’t we have separate rooms pretty please. Also besides from sharing, I don’t like the idea of staying overnight. Cause they told us nothing!! We ain’t got toothbrush, deodorant, NADA. It’s gotta REEK in there.

Ok so… Romeo knowing the password is not rubbing me the right way. I hate it actually. Romeo please don’t be TOO sketch!!! Please please please I BEGGGG!! Also woah… I don’t like how it looks!! Like the AI is so obvious with this one PLEASEEE INVEST IN A BACKGROUND ARTIST. It’s not that difficult I promise you. The music is hella nice tho MEAH MWAH LOVELYYYY!! Also if you screen record a video with the background, you can see they added a shaky effect which was cool!!

alright Romeo. How’s you come up with the name. Guys he might actually be in some dark shit uh oh. Chat I think my fav sinostra character is cooked. Taiga pointing that out makes js confirms my suspicions. Like guys. Sighs. Also, I highly doubt Gojo teacher is gonna bail us out of this one taiga 🙁… he’s … NOT THAT GREAT!!

Ok so we split up anddddd… Taiga went to a bar. Naturally. RITSU, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM. Like, I know he’s not personally insulting anyone, but like getting compared to Romeo is bad?? I mean, I guess they’re kinda opposites so IG!! Gulping down Taiga’s drink is WILD LMAOOO 😭😭.

ok moving onto their little exploration, Taiga, leaves his three blind mice looking glasses alone. It’s actually kinda cute that Ritsu is so sweet for his mom. ALSO HOURS??? FOR GLASSES?? I thought I was indecisive geez man. And oh!! They found the mask right? NOT TAIGA SUGGESTING THEY GANK THEM WHAT 😭 WHY IS HE SHOOTONG THE PLACE UP HELLO?? WHY DID HE SHOW RITSU TO WHACK THINGS WITH HIS BOOK OMG 😭.. IM DEADDDD.

alrighty now our side. Romeo and queeny let’s gooo!!! Romeo scamming some guy is actually crazy lmao. But like, he knew this guy?? Then why is this guy acting like he doesn’t know Romeo? That’s … STRANGE!! Anyways, AHHHH THAT ONE ART OF HIM HOLDING THE PAINTING WAS EVERYTHING :(!! So sweet so cute!! Other than the fact he scammed someone but I digress!!!

“There’s only a handful of people in this world that know the true vale of things.” Such an odd sentence to add, that’s more of an inner dialogue thing but he said it aloud. Maybe he meant smth else by it but like IM NOT THAT DETECTIVY GUYS!!

Romeo please leave my Boy Yuri alone 😭😭. They got that little man stressing fr. But I wanted to point out a few things from their conversation:

-“ Someone’s gotten cocky” (Romeo to Yuri) The word gotten changed the entire meaning of THSI sentence. They knew each other before… from Frostheim maybe?? Cause we know both of them have personal beef from frost heim, maybe they both transferred but were once close back then. Sounds kinda cliche but. Further evidence: “I remember when you ran off crying to the grubby old lab, now you’re playing king of the castle?” So maybe not together, but just what kind of connection did they have? Maybe Romeo was a bully :(

BUT WAIT !! THERES MORE!!! “ha ha. Fine words coming from a has-been like you. Why, I hardly hear anyone speak of you these days. I suppose your accomplishments were only possible before you relinquished your brand name. Oh, I suppose it’s more accurate ‘before it was stolen from you?’ “. … WOW!! Ok!!! So yeah Romeo was popular, he was .. maybe forced out of Frostheim because of his family situation… or maybe bullied out of it. With Romeo, a lot of times someone mentions something being stolen from him, which is probably why he’s so obsessed with wealth. Their relationship is so strange, I need to raise their affinities to see more lore.

Aw yeah, my queen got the lobster and pasta she deserved for her dinner!! I’m so glad that we don’t have to sleep with each other bro like legit JUMPING FOR JOY 😆😆😆!!!

Aw shucks Romeo is being shady once more ; “ Just relax by your little fireplace and I’ll bring you a nice souvenir. I’ll bring you back that mask so don’t forget our deal.” PROFESSOR HYDE. IK ITS YOU. WTF ARE YOU UP TO. Why does he want that mask, why does he need a mask, is he doing this against Darkwick or for them? Guys I need answers like urgently.

Oh no. It’s Taiga. Everyone smile and wave. Bruh why is he talking to us like he don’t know us m. It’s us, your kitty patootie. YEAHHHH HE RECOGNIZED US!! PROGRESS GUYS!! Omg wait he might actually remember the train… HE DID !! HE DID YES 😭😭!! TAIGA YOU ARE THE GOAT MY GLORIOUS KING TAIGA. Wait but he forgot where the monster went. Man… can’t do nothing fr 🙁. Uh oh :3 Romeo caught us!! DAMN TAIGA BEING SO MEAN FOR WHAT. “We were just talking about how gross you sound buttering someone up” like dang. We think that, not say that. What power does Gojo teacher hold to control Romeo so easily… I don’t get it :(.

phew day 2, auction day!! Taiga sleeping in the ceremony is so real. WHY IS HE SO READY TO SHOOT EVERYBODY GEEZ. Oh!! Romeo comes busting in… AHHHHHH MY GLORIOUS QUEEN MC IN THE BACKGROUND SUCH A CUTIE. Oh he actually started shooting ok!!! Awesome!!! OH WHAT THE… THEYRE ALL GLITCHING. RUN MC TUN. DONT LET THE OTHERS SLACK YOU!!

Ok so they got to the exit, and they won’t let us out… AWESOME. JUST AWESOME. Bruh Taiga is going on some riddle shit JS TELL US PLEASEEEEE. Bruh. Romeo. My guy. My pall. WHY TF DID YOU HAVE SO MUCH TREASURE 😭😭😭. WHY WOULD YOU THROW IT RIGHT AT RITSU. RITSUUUUU GET YO ASS HOME!! Oh wait his stigma nvm. He’s chilling. That panel of Ritsu saying his stigma goes hard though.

AWWWWW THEIR DIRT COVERED FACES ARE SO CUTE!!! AHHH I LOVE IT!! Too bad about the mask and Romeo’s treasure but we chilling. OH WAIT NVM TAIGA GOT THE MASK!! YAYAYYAYAY!! Romeo looks so happy aw 😭. Oh.. OH!!! ARE THEY ABOUT TO KISS?? WHAT HAOPENED IT ZOOMED IN ONTO ROMEO’S LIPS WHAT HAPPENDD.

Oh we’re back at the Diner with Ritsu. WAIT CAN WE SEE OUR BOY REN :3??? BRUH WHAT. TAIGA ATE THE FUCKING MASK??? HUH??? Another probation is actually crazy dang…

Oh shit Taiga and Hyde. “Lay off Lulu” AWWWWWW HE CARES ABOUT HIS FRIEND. AWWWWW!!! Bruh Hyde is actually pissing me off bro tf you mean “The stage is nearly set” FOR WHAT??? FOR WHAT PURPOSE??? Guys 😭

ok so that’s that. Uhhhhh I might have skipped a few parts but this is merely going off on the deleted screenshots I took the time I read it. The only thing I do remember is what I was thinking on each scene. Honestly, not much was given in this one for like DARKWICK lore, except for the fact they work with underground connections as well as governmental. That’s actually so wild how powerful they are. I’m actually so excited to see more of Ritsu’s emotional side, and Romeo/ Taiga’s backstory, not just tightened but their personal ones too. Still don’t have Taiga’s unique magic womp womp :(. Hyde… is freaking me out a bit too. And nothing has been explained about why Hyde called Sho for a “special mission”. It doesn’t look like he’s gonna be a part of the next chapter too, so it’s making sho SUPPERRRR SUS rn. But anyways I hoped you enjoyed and I will make another one of these VERY soon for Episode 9 :3!! Ciao , until next chapter!!

[fictionfixations]

LMAO ZEN (doesnt it happen for everyones routes though? i havent done like another story yet tho)

anyway before i get into talking about jumin (as the route im on rn) i wanted to wonder

yknow how certain things happen but only on someones route?

like zen has the echo girl thing, idk what yoosung has i forgor but i think jaehee had that one project??? that got her interested in like coffee stuff? jumin has the arranged marriage?? and seven has like. well. the hacker stuff.

but it never gets mentioned on someone elses route ? i dont think? i feel like itd be more cooler if it was all happening at once as like little references (but either something they can handle or cant handle outside of the route. just like maybe a vague mention of trouble to interest the player in that route, while still making sense from like a timeline standpoint???)

like. people doing things but its not because youre the one pushing it towards that. i like that more. and im curious how chaotic itd be

anyway

JUMIN. (disclaimer: I dont like him)

WARNING i start venting in this post. theres only one mention of a triggering thing (which is warned before the actual vent part but i dont want to put here to bring the mood down more cause in all honesty im over it. im just kind of projecting.)

i think ive said before how i can understand the liking of possessive partners

but. okay maybe its just that i dont like jumin as much as the others but. this is kinda way too much. or maybe its that i value my own independence a whole lot or maybe its because i really dont like the thing with his cat (and i LIKE cats. so giving me a character who likes cats and making me not like them??? ahgeiudhf)

like 'dont leave or ill go insane and make your face known everywhere so i can find you again' like the fuck no w h y CAN I LEAVE

I want to leave i dont care if i get the bad ending get me out of here 😭 (actually i think the bad ending mightve been if we encouraged being compared to like his cat and like. was willing to stay forever.)

e w NO like CHILL

maybe. im. being too extreme. and im just too on edge. but like. can you not. i am not your property?? i am not an object??

now LISTEN i understand marking. like like yknow biting and so and so as like a claim over your partner. and now that? thats hot and i like that. but thats ONLY for the bedroom there comes a point where too much of a thing is a bad thing

ALSO we've known each other how many days has it been. eight?? WE've known each other EIGHT days dont be horny bonk

g o o d . this is good.

STOP. dont talk like you know whats best for a person. like its some thing that'll happen, not a what if.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. now if he was being more weird id say go home but hes. OKAY. ish. now. like hes trying. and anyway getting him to not do it takes time. and also this is a game of romance fantasies where creepy shit gets played off as kinky or something. (not a jab towards mysme its just the kind of thing its trying to do which can result in uncomfortable parts if you take off your rose-tinted glasses of wOAH ROmANCE. its expected since ppl think certain things are hot when in reality its kind of very not that great)

…CAN I GO HOME???? like BRUH im not gonna accept you just cause you do so and so

why does this feel like a 'nice guy'. maybe this is my bad because this is making me really want to leave buth gdiuhfuih

trigger warning. i vent. mention of kermit sewer slide but nothing actual.

ive been pushing the 'stay here to help jumin feel more calm' but. i do also need to prioritize my own well being and my well being is not happy here rn 😭 (on a serious note though while its important to be there for your partner, its NOT a good thing to give everything to make sure your partners okay, because y'all are equals and as you help them stand they need to help you stand too or you'll collapse under all that and it really wont be a good time. im telling you its very draining. and why i promote the idea of get your shit together before you get with someone because there comes a point where you can be too dependent on your partner which isnt good for you or for them [and they can feel hesitant to express their feelings because they dont want to hurt you, or hesitant to do anything too stressful because theyre like that support pillar for them, and they dont want to do anything that causes otherwise because they dont want their partner to get hurt. it can also mean they go along with what the other wants even if they dont really want to because they dont want to hurt them. am i projecting? ithink im projecting. cause like. ive been there. and honestly i think it kind of fucked me up cause there was like a power imbalance in that one was significantly more fragile and vulnerable then the other, which made me feel like i should be going along with it because i didnt want them to be hurt when they didnt have anyone else they could rely on but me. [i tried to get them to make more friends cause relying on a single person is very unhealthy but no dice] but that also meant that they didnt respect my boundaries or respect me when i say no and instead just gave off excuses to make me change my mind or made me feel like i had to do what they wanted or theyd deliberately hurt themself. so.. it was a lot. anyway it really fucked me up cause i felt like i was in the wrong for not going along with it. blah blah blah. we split. i genuinely have no idea if it was true or not but they'd started saying things to make me feel bad and just not a fun time at all. they were probably in a really dark time in their life but im gonna be honest. i dont know in what scenario its okay to go 'im gonna kermit sewer slide if you dont [blah blah blah]'. so yknow. and this is not really the same but it still feels the same in walking all over boundaries and lines and is especially why i do not like this character a bit. yay trauma.])

i might actually get a bad ending because i. really dont like this.

[funkii-fox]

ohmygosh i know EXACTLY who ur talking abt on that post with the self shipping hater and like mlm and wlw is better. they get on my nerves SO BAD like ive known them since 2021 or 2022 methinks but i have them blocked cuz no way u can say all that. french people amiright/j

BAHAHA well idk if u actually do, but thank god someone knows my struggle. I cant believe half the shit i read from his texts and stories bruh. Like okay buddy 👁️👄👁️

I feel like after a certain point, if an overwhelming majority of ppl dislike u, even within ur own community, even among ur closest friends, thats when u fail. Thats when u do introspection. Theres always haters trying to drag u down, but this guy has so many ppl that rightfully dislikes him for every single controversy hes ever gotten into. How is everyone else on the Earth wrong and ur the only one thats right?

And this guy knows hes abt to lose me too. Once i made a kinda vent post tht said “demons in my head: leave them before they can leave you”. It was more like a self deprecating meme, and it abt two unrelated moots. But this guy was so insecure and thought it was abt him. And every time i put a vague negative thing on my status like “wtf is wrong w this guy” he always asks abt who the note was abt, probably bc he suspects it’s abt him. Idk tho. Now that i think abt it he could be asking bc hes into drama

See, this guy is so misogynist and “ugh women this” but he LOVES drama and gossip, just like women stereotypically do. He HATES tucutes “grr bruja ari this” but his main oc looks like a girl “hes androgynous” bffr. He hates on women that self ship w ocs but he makes ocs 😭 this guy is the most giant fucking hypocrite I’ve ever seen bro

Recently he got mad at a reel in his feed and put it on his story. This reel was abt someone saying theyre only into autistic ppl, and my first thought was “same ngl there’s something wrong w neurotypicals” but this guy’s first thought was “HURRR DURR STOP SEXUALIZING AUTISTICS” …the ENTIRE comment section was the op fighting for their life bc theyre autistic and for some reason everyone thought they were neurotypical. And that tells me that this guy saw the post and immediately got mad and posted it to his story. Not even looking into the comments to see if his judgment was right💀

I remember he used to flirting w me. He got the fucking hint by now, but it was sooooo annoying 😭 u can tell he was hoping so bad that i would reciprocate his sexual “jokes” and it was awkward asf when i wouldn’t. I wonder if he thought he was sexy to me bc hes French. Like he assumes the accent was enough to pull me 😭 even tho ive stated a lot (not necessarily to him but in general) that im not looking for any romantic or sexual relationship w anyone rn 💀 i think the worst prt is that i dont hate sexual jokes between friends, but if i send these funny sexual memes hes gonna think i want some. Like no thanks :|

[low-budget-korra]

Comments on Love Lies Bleeding

-Katy O'Brian smile is the sweetest thing ever, and her 80's hair (or wig, Idk) is such a look man, I'm in love

-Lou waking up in the morning to make breakfast for Jackie after their first night together is honestly the gayest shit 😭

-Katy and Kristen's spouses are the strongest soldiers

-Ed Harris knows how to play a bad guy, his presence on scene is so powerful, he doesn't need to say anything to be noticed

-Kristen would rock as the Ellie Williams from tlou part 2. I'm sorry , but Lou is so Ellie coded, I mean, Kristen appearance alone as she looks just like her and she is so damn good on screen. I know Ellie already has an actress and Kristen is too old for the role but let a girl dream ok? Lol

Also, they didn't pick Katy as Abby cuz it would be so weird to see her big muscle ass beating the shit outta Bella's Ellie. Def wasn't about acting skills cuz Katy is also a powerful and captivating actress

-"Im wanna stretch you. I wanna see how far you can go" OMG and Kristen delivery too?🥵

In Brazil we have this expression "quero ser marmita de casal" that basically says "I want this couple to eat the shit outta me" and boy I want to be Lou and Jackie's marmita so bad

-Jackie's murdering JJ was so damn satisfying.

-Its enough of me being a gay mess, let's talk about movie shit.

It's so well done, everything. From writing, to directing, soundtrack, cinematography and the acting. The acting was 10/10

The way the tension is well built and the plot and the characters reveals itself, without rush or expository dialogue.

It also has a message on drug use like, don't do drugs y'all. Jackie high on steroids was terrifying to watch and that's the thing. It doesn't matter how good it makes you feel, it still fucks you up in the end. It ain't worth it. Yeah is an already well known stuff but they did execute this pretty well in the movie, mostly with visual storytelling

And Lou family drama is so real and painful, like, how many women suffer as Beth?

Katy is already fit but for sure she did some prep for Jackie and for women it is twice as hard to look strong and ripped as she did in the film so yeah, great work.

Ive saw some comments about giant Jackie and like bruh it's a metaphor for her to stand up for Lou and herself. She became a monster after saw Lou heartbroken after seeing Beth all beat up and now to save her , she became a giant, a hero. That's love, it makes you bigger

And they got a happy ending.

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E8 "Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

"High Ranking Vulcan". heh. This intro though - it jkust makes me wonder the sheer potential of what couldve been for Trek. Bryan Fuller made a masterpiece called Hannibal. Not too sure on his hand in Trek - imho, it doesnt compare. ANYways. ugh i love seeing hte discovery warp downwards like that Owosekun - love her name such nice colours. consistenty good colours in this show for sure. i like how goldy inside the bridge is oh interesting. what an odd source of warp power its insanely cool though. that CANT be good for stamets. is that foreshadowing did you call her what she will become damn stamets can you be like idk a bit likeable tho please. like plenty of characters who are catty af but likeable in some way if even 1%. ugh. hi tribble. keep tribblin OO SO BLUEEEE SO PRETTYYY This is so weird to me in how this show literally comes out 2 years AFTER AOS3 in terms of production quality.

very pretty landscapes though Saru. aint no way you walkin this terrain with them feets of yours love the trees. saru is so scrawnyyy Saru literally looks amazing in any lighting no joke damn classic trek mist creature living rorschach blot Kol is so cool looking those red accents work beautifully on his face

such lovely colour grading everyones GLOWINGGG there are certainly some wonderful visuals in this show ughhhh Saru, the dust speaker is that a klingon archery set what is that HAHA i wish nah its a torture kit sorry cornwell yelling like that was kind of cringe lolll this pretty blue dust dome that ash and burnham are in is so pretty ugh something im gonna just never take seriously, "Ash x Burnham" nah get out yeah yeah however, Kirk delivered this line beyond any other human's capacity what an empty ass kiss god its so forced. another huge problem with this show is they treat these characters like we know them already but bruh everyone feels so much the stranger to me, even though we are past the halfway point of season 1. is just so weird. i am not invested in like any character, even ones i really thought i would/wanted to be but its liek the show takes them away from me i like how the klingons have a definite accent when they speak terran now L'Rell is so striking looking i love her eyes such a piercing look

see like i WANT to like this away party but like i kind of dont have any real reason to like any of these characters especially with the utter animosity stuff that never got really properly resolved. like between saru and burnham. it feels almost uncomfortable. to me the viewer watching from outside ofc. thats a really pretty flower i dont like this film style it feels too tacky so many stupid zooms so cheap feeling it feels like star trek, Teen Wolf edition. literally feels like its filmed int he same way as things like Teen Wolf that were almost 10 years earlier. its so janky. zero patience and sense to appreciate the scene itself without all this ridiculous cinematic embellishment. its so unnecessary. if even this show did this less, this show would legitimately be 7x better. saru looks so beautiful with that warm white rear light this is such a gorgeous instance of practical effects and they got the PERFECT actor to don saru Ash looks like someone ive literally known in my own life 😭 i love these red jewels on L'Rell's armour/clothing costume and design department did a great great job in this show's production - i have no beef with them.

i like saru's mouth shape its so odd. idk why i feel so detached from this show. oh dang angry saru. ferocious oml yo these are such pretty crystals] saru running in THOSE? HAAHAHAH damn had to CG him hahah that one camera shot was funny though it almost looked like the show said "yes. he can run in these". lol oh damn convincing gore i like how we continue seeing blood in trek with DISCO when i t really started in Enterprise. oh shit ANGRY SARU BRUH HE BACKKICKED HER LIKE A HORSE this stick man being so strong the way hes breaking that device literally looks like classic trek style bundle two hands together and bash DBZ style XD

really pretty tree thing though oooo the transporter circles at the bottom look SOO nice dude look at his detail up close its fucking amazing oh my god such masterfully done painting speckling im genuinely impressed damn, im sorry saru. though i think, who DOES live without fear. man costume design is wonderful. these red markings are really good they compliment their faces really well This is so odd. I have NEVER had this kind of feeling of "detachment" from a Trek production before. The fuck is happening. Ugh.

Not liking Bryan Fuller x Alex Kurtzman directing style in this show, like, at all.

I am just waiting for when this show gets better.

Cuz it's lost a lot of my anticipation.

We'll see. Hopefully.

[gogoconvstore]

fuck global warming bruh

i cant have too many plushies otherwise id have no bed... its bad enuff that when i look after my sister's pug, she takes up a quarter of the bed, leaving me with just a quarter for myself 😭😭

zb1 r 🤌🤌 highly recommend & yhh i luv blackpink's stuff - been a fan since debut !!!

its just a cold so i shud be fine soon but im hoping its not too bad tomorrow when i go support my sister whilst she gets tattooed 😭😭

yayyyy oscar content :]

i lowkey wanna start making f1 x reader content but considering i abandoned my kpop x reader account on here, i probably shouldn't make the f1 account loll

-bear anon

tattoo realness 😍😍😍😍😍

i didnt know you wrote lol but also if you mentioned i probably missed it lol

im on strict plush management lol, only 2 in bed at max at a time bc ive been too lazy to buy a bigger bed for my 6 foot tall body lol and my cat refuses to share a bed with someone so i dont have that problem lol

the oscar story got published and im not sure what to do next, i have a long list but i will either be Dino, Kimi, or a driver x driver lol

also highly recommend seeing blackpink live if u ever can was a great experience, idk if the tour movie is still in the uk (it was a bit of a laugh, it's tongue in cheek danielle. it's funny!) [just checked its in london but idk about elsewhere]

if u do write ill totally read it 😍😍😍

[itshyuka]

Hi! Do you mind if I join the teacher convo?:D I was studying to be a high school english and biology teacher at uni a few years ago. In my fourth year I had an insane burnout because we didn't get any support during the pandemic (also the education system went to hell due to politics) so I decided to take a break and put my studies on pause. I started working at a language school where I was overworked and underpaid (they reaaaaallly took advantage of the fact that i didn'thave my degree yet), but my students were amazing and I genuinely enjoyed it, and it actually gave me more experience than any classes at uni. I ended up quitting because of the overworked+underpaid part, and now i'm self employed and teach online, and I love it so much!!😭 I also managed to get back up from the burnout and planning to go back to study, although I will switch to linguistics, I don't think I could join the school system now, I have some real horror stories about my peers doing their internships during the strikes://

Did you always know you wanted to be a teacher? Is it what you'd expected? Also if you could change something about the school system to make it better (for students OR the teachers) what would you do?

It's so excited to see other young teachers!!! Most of my peers switched to something completely different, I think only one person actually graduated from my department 😔

Anyways!! Wishing you a lovely day, thank you for letting me unload all that, didn't know I needed it 😅💕💕

you can unload whenever you want!! happy to listen! especially if it’s about teaching hehe

so sorry to hear that that happened to you!! burnout is the worst…… I never felt quite the same after my first ever burnout. Glad you’re back in a much better mindset 💖 also yes to linguistics!!!! such an interesting field of study.

i’ve also heard my fair share of horror stories unfortunately… so I totally understand people like yourself who don’t want to enter it. it’s such a shame the education industry is rife with all kinds of crappy happenings.

anw um i’ve always known i’d end up in the teaching field sooner or later!! but of course it’s not what younger me expected it to be now that i’m actually a teacher. it’s so much more work behind the scenes than i realised. makes me appreciate some of my favourite teachers growing up a lot more. also it’s so emotionally draining esp when you get a class that doesn’t care 😭

something i’d change??? huh. smaller class sizes comes to mind first. students deserve more personalised help!!! but smaller class sizes means we need more teachers…. and that’s a tough ask when we get piss poor pay for the amount of stress and work we go through (esp in the public system!!) 💀 the overwhelming lack of respect for teachers is also so tough….

i think overall though i’d love to go into education policy down the line and advocate for much better support for teachers. bc better supported teachers means better supported students. like uh increased PAID planning time for one bc bruh ive spent too many nights unpaid and then guilted if i even think of claiming it as paid work… also better access to resources for ALL schools too. like equipment, facilities, textbooks and wifi.

sorry I could go on and on, and i do rant about this topic to a mate in education policy all the time HAHAHA but of course politics is messy and schools are businesses 🙄🤢 this is just my essay speed run. thanks for asking 💖💖 i always love connecting with fellow educators!!! bc i got into this industry to support people and who better to support than other fellow teachers (and also the kids of course) hehe

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

lmaooo yeahh!! its just i was so starved for wlw content. for ACTUAL wlw and not just speculative wlw (ykwim? like couples that are like lumity and not like bechloe. as much as i love bechloe.). id originally checked s2 out from the library (yep. i watched OUT OF ORDER) i knew nothing about it apart from it being gay. but it hooked me??? i mean me and ghost have talked about when i watched citrus because i was so desperate for wlw 😭. DONT ASK 😭. fanfictions were written. it was bad 💀

also NO!!! cmon s5 was amazing. there was like- so much going on in that season with the riot. i get it though- pouessey was a good character. idk there was so much that happened in s5 and especially with alex and piper. s6 too... i really started to like pennsatucky... oh and taystee and nicky... this is really making me want to rewatch it tbh.

UGHHH THE SHOWER SCENE 💀😭🫡. stop bc actually same. my gay ass would pause it and stare to try to get a glimpse of anna kendrick 🤝. girl how did i not know i was gay. PLUS LITERALLY LIKE- the chemistryyyyyyy i cant. theres no way beca isnt queer. im not just saying that cause shes my type but like COME ONNNN. bi for bi at LEAST. chloe literally was so into her. THEY BOTH WERE. "theyre really good friends" my mf ass bruh. Aubrey and fat amy talking about which one of them was a lesbian as chloe literally pulls her close a little further away from them - CLEARLY DRUNK - being all flirty. i mean aubrey/stacy and bechloe 🫡

also the tent scene in pp2....

the back to basics song from pp2 is probably my favorite fucking thing. THE CLIPS WITH ALL OF THEM. just the montage from the movie. anna looking grumpy going down the waterslide and being thrown into the air like a rag doll. just that entire video... i love it sm. ALSO ANNA'S PART... "awowowah" whatchama call it.

also not to mention the net part- I LOVE THE CAMP SCENES. i cant. all of it.

ALSO THE RIFF OFF FROM PP2 WHERE ANNA BREAKS OFF TO SING BEFORE HE CHEATS. ABSOLUTELY CRIMINAL AND FULL FUCKING VERSION WHEN?????. -> ALSO WHEN ESTER DOES THAT PART "GIRLS... YOU KNOW YOU BETTER... WATCH OUT!!" that part??? HOLY FUCK i love their voices sm.

i can gush abt this so much but i find it so funny that haliee and ben platt were written as a couple because ben is very much not straight. i should try to listen to his music again tbh.

oh yeah i have- recs but theres so many thatve been lost in the ether cause ff.net and my old wattpad acc. i thinkkkk ive heard of experimentation. i dont remember if ive read it- 50 shades of bechloe changed my brain chemistry though 😭. i HAVR BOOKMARKS IN MY PHONE FROM MY OLD PHONE OF RANDOM CHAPTERS. i was... 👋😐 unhinged.

if i go through my old bookmarks i might get back to u abt them. honestly most r smut iirc 😭. BUT I THINK I GOT A FEW THAT ARENT.

ALSO YEAH INFODUMP ABT A SIMPLE FAVOR OMG. i had a fic way back when i think i deleted from my bookmarks but if i didnt i might read it for this occasion.

im not too good w horror so perhaps it might be a good thing??? i get scared easily. i went into scream 1 completely spoiled bc i was so anxious because id never watched a horror movie before that - APART FROM PROM NIGHT w britt. its a whole thing but im down??;?? any and all propaganda is good and will be documented into my brainnnn

SAPPHO WHATS WITH THE SUPERCORP CONTENT ON MY DASH HELP 😭

Sorrrrry. I was consumed by the madness. It all started when I realized one of my favorite fic authors (and all time favorite for supercorp) is on here. And then I got supercorp on my dash and remembered they are both very hot and very good together. It will happen again 😁

[normal-thoughts-official]

I. t. a

Ahhshshsh I had forgotten how much I loved Diego and Vaaryn <3

I have so many questions about Vaanti traditions but I'm also glad pb didn't went into too much detail because I just don't trust them 😬

Also no, with junior I meant Alesteir (but I DIDI IT! In book 1 he was like "grace, mc, you both are the only worth saving here" and I was like "yes, i won these interaction"... though in the second book I think I spit on him lmao)

And Gurgi was nice, i loved those interactions are like,, very normal but in weird situations Ahshhshs

OMG WE GET TO SPIT ON HIM???? ICONIC CANT WAIT. when grace slapped his face it was so <3 god i miss grace sm. its chapter 6 of the 3rd book WHERE IS SHE

also ugh i wish i were u i love diego and varyyn so much what the fuck

also im proud to say that now for the first time i actually have a theory re: what the hell is going on. i just got to the part where we crash that weird timeless vaanti party and the clockmaker explained to us the thing about the island's heart and i think that we (the MC) are said heart. mostly because she said that the heart came in the form of that spirit and that spirit is us, because

it looks exactly like us dudndidm

im pretty sure its meant to look like us because when craig thought zahra was the ghost thatd make no sense because the ghost's form looked so different from zahra's, BUT it would make sense considering choices always operates assuming the MC will be female even when they give us the option to not make it so, and female MCs' form's options did look like zahra if all u had was the outline

but i also have other reasons for believing that, such as:

we were born in la huerta (and didnt even know it) on jan 1st (pretty emblematic date, the beginning of all or whatever) and we seem to have no discernible past. even rourke couldnt find anything about us, and we seem to have, like, no memories or family or anything from before this trip

the endless/we can control and reset time within the island and ONLY IN THE ISLAND as hes said in book 2's epilogue

we are canonically immune to time loops

we changed the island's hearts without a problem but when quinn did she got possessed by the bizarre screaming thing

so yeah i think we are the island's heart (not sure how exactly we took human form and ended up in college but it's a work in progress okay) and i might be wrong but hey at least ive managed to fucking put something together for the first time!!! jdndjdndixn and thatd be a pretty good plot twist but idk

also oh my god that scene where craig thought zahra was dead was so heartbreaking wtf, one m/f couple. ALSO ive just met kele and i really hope choices doesnt pull some bullshit with him because i love him and im pretty sure hes the only native american character choices has had so far. also not to be a ho but hes so pretty 👀👀👀👀

on a sidenote ive been a little disappointed by most of the embers of hope 😔 other than raj's most seemed kind of flavorless, altho im very happy that in craig's he didn't miraculously get drafted and instead his happy future showed him that it was okay that it didn't go the way he expected and hed still make it big. and it still showed him struggling with his depression but overall doing better which i quite liked. it was no miracle future

but i felt like sean's could've been so much more and diego's was straight up disappointing like dudndi 😭 i wanted at least diego to be able to stay in the island. literally why would anyone want to go back to capitalism when they can stay with the vaanti. especially since diego said many times that he felt like home in elyys'tel and that he's never felt like this before, and his family are pieces of shit anyway but then its like "he got famous and then his family wanted him back!" bruh. thats not exactly a happy ending

a n y w a y sorry it took so long to reply i was really busy and then i forgot until u sent me the other one and then i forgot to reply to that one too 😭😭😭😭 its fine I'm fine

[wonunuu]

omg the medley

hahaha aCTUALLY i havent <333 i wanted to surprise myself with what theyre gonna give us ! so ive tried to avoid as many videos and photos of the comeback as possible i just ➖👄➖ i do not see

but unfortunately i Have gotten glimpses of many of the teasers on ig THEY JUST LOOK TOO GOOD TO RESIST I MEAN COME ON HAVE YOU SEEN THE LAYOUT??? SPECTACULAR !!! i am most excited about perf and hiphop unit song tho !! they caught my eye the moment i saw the tracklist (but also 2 minus one got me attention - they Do be teaching us how to math)

tbh i dont even know how to use honey because :DDD im broke so why make myself suffer by looking at things i know i cant afford <333 (plus im saving up with my friends to buy our other friend a prom dress for her bday cause she never got a proper prom)

HERES WARM HUGS FOR YOU TOO !! 🫂🫂🫂 ( i dont know if u can see the emoji but its the hugging emoji since i cant put media in anon asks hehe) *warm soft hugs* take care !! --🍯

nice try but theres no way you can avoid those 😭😭😭😭 DUDE THE LAYOUT IS SO FUCKING SEXY LIKE AKSKSK HENGGARAE (idk i i spelled that correctly lol) ERA COULD NEVER 😭 hg is a masterpiece but damn they coulda done sm better 🤣🤣🤣

SKKSKSKSKAKS im so excited for the whole album but mostly hhu’s song and CRUSH AHHHHH i’ve been seeing sm edits on twt for crush and i just fell in love 😤😤😤😤 just three more days yall WERE SO CLOSE SNSKSK

i understand im broke too 😔 all my money goes to svt 😩 AWE THATS SO SWEET yall 🥺🥺🥺 this is what i was talking about when i said honey anon is the sweetest 😤

i definitely needed that warm hug LAWD my toes feel like its gon fall off 😭 SHJS yesss i can see the emoji lool bruh i didn’t know this emoji existed??? hehe thanks for letting me know :))) hope you have a good day/night honey 🥰🥰🥰💗💗

[wildernessuntothemselves]

"…. I am not going to punish you for what he’s done……"

“I’ll cut their tongues out for daring to dishonor the lady with it.”

“I let them go just for you but I need you to know that this kind of behavior can’t go unpunished. When people think that there are no consequences to their actions, they can commit terrible things.”

"I need to prove myself to you just as you need to prove yourself to me."

You perk up. “Yeah. I know it’s not the most ladylike activity but why should the men have all the fun. I want to shoot things too.” You say with a pout and he barks out a laugh. “If you’d come back with me to my land, I could line up the servants and have you shoot at them.”

hmmmmmmmmm

I think taehyun is a psychopath, or a person with borderline personality disorder lol. I predict he would act like a person that lacks empathy and possibly would do things that make people see him as cruel and merciless(he thinks what he did is right) . that must be the reason why there are weird rumors about him. Personally, I would say he has high expectations of the oc, but this could lead to an ending where she will be abandoned by him because she doesn't meet his hope. (i don't really encourage the oc to choose taehyun lol since yk oc probably wouldn't make it, this girl doesn't have many skills because from what I read she didn't go out of the castle that much)

about the princess, she is cool I guess. Very realistic and know how to enjoy her life lmao. she would make a great couple with taehyun, like the powerful, evil couple in the minion movie. For real, I was thinking about the possibility that soobin maybe is one of the princess's lovers.

i would still choose soobin though lol. just kidding I would pack my things and get out of there on my own, it would be hard with that weak ass body of the oc but we could use our brain instead.

i was kinda empathetic toward beomgyu but this doesn't mean he is right, i understood why he became this way, his actions, etc.. but the thing he need was therapy and support, not a romantic partner or relationship.

wow that's long lol.

either way, i like your works a lot, it's phenomenal and well writing. i hope you are doing well.

-Iv :)

ok just wanna point out that the shooting arrows at servants part was just a joke so don't judge my man on it

not borderline 😭😭😭 (sorry i've struggled with borderline personalities in my life)

i love your predictions about taehyun! and poor oc she wasn't meant to get this far lmao she's been sheltered by gyu all her life she knows nothing except her books and life inside the palace. maybe she'll pull a fast one on us though?

yeah i didn't want the princess to be an antagonist. i wanted her to represent, not necessarily acceptance, but realism about her situation and try to make the most of it. it's what i see women around me do. and yeah i guess she suits taehyun more but maybe she's not righteous enough for him

bruh we got neither brains nor muscle. we'd die out there 😭

and i'm glad you understand gyu's motivations. that's all i wanted to do

[astoria-reads]

You had to admit, your methods weren’t the most… ethical.

Your heart rate sped up again, was that blood? Shit, was that Peter’s blood!? Your head spun, was he actually home? Was he wounded? Was he– Was he dead?

THAT TOOK A DARK TURN DONT GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK

“I…I can’t really date anyone right now,”

wait WAT BRUH IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME, ID BE SO EMBARRASSED. imagine someone thinking you want to date them cause you cleaned their kitchen 😭😭 okay to be fair, I'd think so too so🤷‍♀️

You dryly chuckled, the author would probably make you tell the truth– If they weren’t a sadist that is.

AUTHOR PLS YES HAPPY ENDING PLS

You blew on it and took a tentative sip, maybe you should go and visit this famous Otto Octavius?

no no no no no wait yes yes yes yes no yes yes no YES !!

“But if I sense any fishy business I’ll kindly, yet firmly, ask you to leave and urge Peter to move away.”

AJDJFJAJFDKF why am I giggling at every sentence, this is the best fic ive read this week

“Doctor Octavius?”

WHY AM I JUST REALIZING THIS NOW IM SO DUMB AGHA

“Since a visit from a friend of yours, an admirer,” Otto teased. “To her defense she didn’t directly tell me, I glued the pieces together after our many meet-ups.”

“I’ll tell you why, you’re just a scared little girl trying too hard to be the proclaimed “hero”. You’re not. You’re nowhere near close. You almost got us both killed. Quite the opposite of a hero.”

HEY NO NOW THATS JUST BITCHY YOURE MEAN *cries*

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT YOU CANT END IT THERE, OMG?? IS IT ANGSTY?? WATTT IS THERE A NEXT CHAPTER OR DO I JUST CRY AND GET IT OUT OF THE SYSTEM NOW?

either way, i personally dont think ive ever ranted this much about a fic so ILY and your beautiful writing mwahh.

chapter 2. better wash my mouth out with soap

pairing: tasm!peter parker / fem!reader

genre: romance, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending

wordcount: 6.8k

content warnings: mild self-deprecation(reader), readers hero complex intensifies, swearing, mild injuries, peter gets pretty angry with you towards the end

summary: one night you stop spider-man from almost killing someone, the next day you see your neighbor getting changed into the red and blue suit in the alley.

taglist: @raylan-c , @leydileyla (tell me if you want to be added to the list <3)

I made a playlist for the fic! click here it's unfinished so feel free to recommend me songs ❤

masterlist

previous / next

Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man.Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man.

This fact would not leave your mind for weeks.

How could it? Your neighbor– the neighbor you had a crush on but never really did anything about it– was Spider-Man. A week had passed since you accidentally found out about it and you’ve been obsessing over it ever since. You tried to fish the truth out of him but Peter expertly dodged you whenever you bumped into him in the hallway. He did say he would be busy for months, but now that you thought about it, it was probably a decoy to go and be Spider-man. You knew why you were so obsessed, you wanted to help him out, be his sidekick, or maybe even partner, and help him put criminals behind bars. Being a hero, in your eyes, was like a dream. Obviously you knew the job had its hardships but you got to help people. The greatest satisfaction one could ever receive.

But how were you going to do that if Peter kept shutting you out?

You had your suspicions that his reasoning behind this was to keep you safe, well not specifically you, but the people close to him. Your daily routine now consisted of looking behind dumpsters for clues and looking through the peephole of your door whenever he came back. You had to admit, your methods weren’t the most… ethical. Other than that you kept on replaying the night he came to your apartment, now it made sense why he came over, why he nagged you about how you should turn the other way. Damn, you still couldn’t believe you told him about the mask. You basically admitted you stole something from Spider-Man to Spider-Man.

Ah shit, what if that really was his lucky mask?

You sighed as you walked up the stairs, another tiring day of classes and chasing crime scenes to see if Spider-Man would show up. He did but it was so brief that you couldn’t really talk to him nor could he see you in the crowd. When you reached your floor you felt a chilling draught, turning your head you noticed that Peter’s apartment’s door was wide open. The door was gently moving with the wind. You climbed the last step and walked towards the direction opposite to your own house. In case he might still be inside you loudly knocked on the door, peeking as you did so.

“Hello?” you called out. “Peter?”

There was no response and you peeked further in. You probably should have closed the door, he was always in such a rush, he must’ve thought he closed it. Taking a step closer you noticed the kitchen was stacked with dirty dishes, poor spidey, he probably didn’t have the time to clean up.

Clutching your bag, you looked to your right, you looked to your left– Then you took a step inside. You would just wash a couple of dishes, tidy up a bit. He did save people on a regular basis, he deserved a clean kitchen.

When you went inside you quickly closed the door behind you. Your heart strummed in your chest, panic and self doubt filled your stomach in the form of wild butterflies. Every fabric in your body was screaming that this was wrong, that you should just leave. But the people pleaser part inside of you urged you to take a step forward, in the end you decided that doing a mild clean-up for the hero wasn’t the worst thing he probably encountered. After all, you weren’t a villain out to kill him, you just wanted to make his life a little bit easier.

You placed your bag on a nearby chair and headed to the kitchen, the apartment’s interior design wasn’t that different from yours. The kitchen was an open one and you could clearly see the living room thanks to the placement of the sink. Yours was the opposite, when you washed dishes in your own home you had nothing else to stare but the wall. Pushing your sleeves up, you started with the dish pile closest to you, luckily he had detergent. As the water washed away the leftover dirt on his plate, you observed the rest of his apartment. Sadly there were no clues indicating that he was Spider-Man. Apparently Peter was the cautious kind, the type of person that even left his most private settings squeaky clean.

Now that you thought about it, he was completely right to do so.

When you placed the last mug on the dish rack, you let out a deep breath. Now all you had to do was leave and wait for him to come back. Then you could tell him that you found his door open and… decided to tidy up his kitchen. Did normal people do such things? You had no idea. You shrugged, not much you could do about it now. Taking your bag, you threw it over your shoulder. You looked to the living room once more, there were science books scattered on the table, a half filled coffee mug next to it and…something red splattered on the floor.

“Holy shit,” you exclaimed walking towards it.

Your heart rate sped up again, was that blood? Shit, was that Peter’s blood!? Your head spun, was he actually home? Was he wounded? Was he– Was he dead? Was he laying on his bed bleeding to death while you were washing some dirty dishes?!

Panic coursing your veins you jolted deeper into the apartment, the first door you open led you to a messy bathroom, you felt your palms sweating as you reached the other door. You slammed the door wide open, your eyes quickly scanned your surroundings and you took a deep breath. Peter wasn’t there. The room was completely, utterly empty except for a small cactus on the bedside table.

You quickly closed the door, trying hard not to think about how big of a violation of privacy this was. You headed back, your steps echoing across the empty hall. You passed the bathroom and finally when you reached the living room your heart rate had finally settled–

“What are you doing here?”

You spoke too soon.

Peter stared at you with utter confusion. He had his backpack thrown over his shoulder and he was still wearing his dark green army jacket. You quickly lifted both hands, waving them frantically as you swallowed.

“I can explain!” you said with panic. “It’s… It’s not what it looks like, your…your door was open and I was going to close it– Really!” you pointed at the red stain on the floor. “But then I saw the red thing and thought something might’ve happened to you and rushed inside!”

Beads of sweat formed on your forehead as you stood an uncomfortable amount of time across his piercing gaze. Peter raised an eyebrow, looking at the red stain. Then he dropped his backpack to the floor and shifted his gaze back to you.

“First of all,” he began. “That’s red wine. Second,” he pointed towards the freshly washed dishes. “Did you clean up my kitchen?”

“Well… maybe,”

“I’m assuming after that you saw the stain and freaked out, heading to my bedroom?”

You replied by avoiding his gaze, you heard him sigh.

“Wow. That’s just– Wow,” when you shifted your eyes back to him, Peter was pinching the bridge of his nose and you felt like your heart stopped. This was bad. Really bad. The opposite effect you wanted to have on him. “Look, I appreciate the gesture but this is in no way an acceptable thing to do–”

“I just wanted to help out…” you mumbled, a prominent pout forming on your lips.

“Help me, why?” he jeered, his one eyebrow raised. “I’m just a busy college student, sometimes I don’t have time to do dishes, big whoop,”

He shrugged as he finished his sentence and you stumbled with your words, not really knowing what to say. He didn’t know that you knew he was Spider-Man, therefore he didn’t see the reason why you would want to help him, except for the fact that you were just a crazy woman trying to get into his good graces by doing the dishes. You clutched your stomach, suddenly you felt ill. Peter then scratched the back of his head and you noticed that he was also struggling.

Maybe you should just tell him the truth. But then he started to speak before you could.

“I…I can’t really date anyone right now,”

“That’s not why–”

He cut you off, “It’s not that you’re not a nice person or anything, I just have way too many things on my plate right now and… I don’t really think I’m ready for a relationship. It–It hurts too much.”

Peter added the last part more like an afterthought. His voice trembled and his eyes darkened as if he was reliving an unpleasant memory. Your heart dropped, in all honesty you had no idea what your body was reacting to. The rejection or for the fact that Peter had more baggage other than being Spider-Man. Without thinking you took a step forward, you reached out in hopes to bring him back from his thoughts but as your hand stood in the air, an inch away from him you decided against it. With everything that had happened touching him without establishing a proper “friend” relationship felt like it would irk him further.

“Hurts?” you asked instead. “Peter, are you alright?”

His eyes widened as they focused on you, it seemed your voice was all he needed to come back from wherever he went to. Clearly it wasn’t pleasant. Absent-mindedly he took your hand and held it, his thumb grazing against the top of your hand. The tip of his fingers were ice cold, you held your breath as he slowly lowered it, his eyes were glassy. He didn’t lift his gaze back up as he spoke.

“I’m fine,” he replied and swallowed. “You should go, I’m sorry. Just…thank you for washing the dishes.”

“You’re…welcome,” your voice sounded as if it belonged to a stranger's. The inside of your mouth felt ash-y, your body started to move on it’s own and before you knew it Peter’s door closed behind you.

Slowly, you made your way towards your own apartment, throwing the bag to the floor, you kicked off your shoes and laid on the couch. You didn’t have the time nor the energy to do anything else, your head spun and you felt nauseous. You probably should've eaten something, maybe drink a bit of water but you just couldn’t. All you could do was think about Peter, think about Spider-Man. You wondered what had happened to make him feel so much pain, your heart ached. Since you learned his secret your emotions for him had doubled in size, it was too intense. Sighing, you tried to imagine yourself a character in a book, what would they do, what would the writer make them do to resolve such a matter.

You dryly chuckled, the author would probably make you tell the truth– If they weren’t a sadist that is.

Closing your eyes, you drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

⸻

Sun seeped through the windows and your eyes peeled open. Your one arm was dangling down from the couch, the corner of your mouth damp with saliva and your knees aching with pain. You groaned as you tried to lift your body from the uncomfortable furniture, your muscles protested at your effort but you managed anyway. After stretching, you got up and stumbled towards the kitchen. Yesterday felt like a dream. Eyes still half lidded you picked up a mug and placed a tea bag in it. Hitting the kettle’s button, you quickly headed to the bathroom.

You didn’t have much to do today– no, you had absolutely nothing to do. Turning the faucet, you rolled your shoulders and winced at how your bones cracked. The cold water against your hands felt good, it felt even better when you splashed your face. As you took the bar of soap your mind wandered, maybe if Peter knew that you knew he was Spider-Man he would act…better? But you wouldn’t dare to confess, especially not after so long. Maybe you weren’t the only one who knew? He did mention an aunt May, he also mentioned a professor he was especially fond of. What was his name again? Doctor Otto Octavius.

“His parents must’ve hated him,” you muttered as you rinsed off the soap.

After washing your face and brushing your teeth you headed back to the kitchen. Hot steam floated out of the kettle’s nuzzle and you quickly poured the hot water into the mug, humming pleasantly as the small bag rose above the water’s surface. You blew on it and took a tentative sip, maybe you should go and visit this famous Otto Octavius? He might have some answers regarding Peter’s past, he might even know that he’s Spider-Man. You couldn’t possibly imagine having a secret that big and not confiding in at least someone.

Deep down you knew this was a bad idea. But you figured since you were already down the rabbit hole you might as well go the extra mile and learn what you wanted to learn. Maybe after that Peter would understand that he didn’t have to be alone. He could trust you, confide in you. The only way that was going to happen was if he told you he was Spider-Man or you caught him and he actually saw you learning his secret.

You sighed and took another sip of your tea, it seemed like you had stuff to do after all.

When you reached the school you were overwhelmed with how crowded it was. Frantic looking college students kept on bumping into you, carrying on with their day without saying so much as a sorry. You couldn’t really blame them, this was a pretty prestigious genius school. Peter must’ve been smarter than you thought, which wasn’t that little to begin with. You slowly climbed up the stairs. In all honesty you didn’t know what to ask even if you found Mr.Octavius. Maybe you could just ask if Peter was having trouble with anything, or find out about a close friend or something. Your hands started to sweat. What the hell were you doing here? This was idiotic, even for you.

Clutching your bag, you turned on your heel, you would get a bagel and leave–

But then you slammed face first into someone broad and soft.

“Oh, excuse me Miss,” you heard a man’s voice. “Didn’t see you there.”

Looking up you saw a man with kind, dark brown eyes. He had bushy eyebrows, short, messy brown hair and an arched nose, he looked like he was about in his fifties. Your eyes traveled down, his lab coat covered his blue button up shirt and black pants, black ink had leaked down his lab coat’s pocket, staining the white. Light bounced off of a metal name tag, it read: Otto Octavius. The man placed a hand on your shoulder and smiled, tearing you away from your initial shock.

“Are you alright my dear?”

“Y–Yeah, sorry to bump into you like that…sir,”

He chuckled, “Just call me Otto. Were you lost?”

“I…was actually looking for you,”

“Me?”

He curiously raised his eyebrow, you had trouble to come up with any other reason than Peter but you weren’t the most science-y person and even if you did say you were here to ask his opinion on anything the man would quickly realize that you were lying. You took in a shaky breath, straightening up, you finally spoke.

“I’m here to talk about Peter Parker actually, he’s your student right?”

“He is,” he mused, his smile widening. “It’s not common for professors to gossip about their students and there’s a reason for that young miss–”

“Oh no no no,” you cut him off, your hands flailing. “I’m not here to gossip, I’m just…worried about him.”

“A-ha?”

It was written all over his face that he didn’t believe you. Who could blame him?

“I’m serious!” you exclaimed, your voice high pitched. He chuckled and you felt your cheeks starting to heat up. “He’s been disappearing every night, coming back with bruises and cuts. I’m worried about him so I was curious to see if you knew something. Peter always talks so highly about you,” you quickly add. “Sir!”

“Call me Otto,” he repeated and crossed his arms in front of him. “I don’t recall Peter ever talking about a girlfriend, at least not of recent. Who are you?”

“I’m his neighbor.”

The look Otto gave you made you want to curl under a rock– No, it made you want to curl into the depths of hell. After moments of silence he shook his head and sighed.

“How about we talk in my office,” he said, gesturing towards a nearby door. “But if I sense any fishy business I’ll kindly, yet firmly, ask you to leave and urge Peter to move away.”

“It’s a deal.”

He smiled, “Right this way then.”

You found his office claustrophobic but in a cozy way. Bookshelves covered most of the walls, reaching all the way up to the wooden ceiling; he even had a mini ladder to reach the books at the top. You noticed that the walls were made of visible cobblestone, a thin white coating painted over them. You counted three windows, the sun glared through them. Otto quickly closed the wooden blinds, then he took a seat at his desk and gestured towards the chair in front of him.

“Have a seat love,”

You did as you were told and winced at the way the leather made an unflattering sound. Other than that it was surprisingly comfortable. Otto folded his hands in front of him and stared at you, waiting for you to begin the reasoning behind your visit. You opened and closed your mouth, the man had a strong yet kind presence, you felt comfortable but still didn’t quite know where to begin.

“Well,” you finally spoke. “Like I said Peter’s been coming home with bruises,cuts– There are nights where he doesn’t even come home so I thought,”

“He’s in some kind of gang?” Otto chuckled. “He’s a smart kid, but too ambitious for his own good. He’s one of my best. I wouldn’t be surprised if he stepped in a couple of fights in more…troublesome parts of the city to help someone.”

You raised an eyebrow, did he know? You waited for him to continue, Otto sighed.

“He doesn’t seem to care about himself anymore, it’s only natural. The urge to give back builds when you lose a loved one…”

“He lost someone?”

Otto looked down to his hands, his eyes clouded. “Gwen Stacy. From what he told me she died right before going to Oxford, I don’t know much of the details. You can probably guess how gut wrenching it is to talk about such a thing. Peter only told me because it was her death’s anniversary. He asked to leave class early.”

After that Otto seemed thoughtful, you could tell he was piecing something together in his brilliant mind of his. You balled your hands into fists, your nails digging into your palms as you bit your lip. You were right about him having more baggage, Peter had lost someone– Gwen Stacy. You assumed she was his high-school sweetheart, it must’ve been hard to deal with such a loss. You took in a shaky breath, your gaze lifting from your lap back to Otto. Your eyes widened when you saw that he was staring directly at you, his piercing gaze made a shiver run up your spine. Your hands started to sweat.

“I don’t know what he’s up to,” he spoke, slowly and very clearly. “But if he’s trying to keep his distance it’s best that you respect that. It’s only natural for Peter to keep the people close to him safe.”

You let out a silent chuckle, it left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“I don’t think he cares that much about me, sir– Otto,” your hands loosened in your lap. “Peter probably sees me as an annoyance.”

Your heart started to thud aggressively in your chest. You took in another breath. The tension in the air seemed to evaporate with what you’ve said. Otto’s look softened, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“I don’t think that’s quite true, we all have our secrets. Just let Peter come to you instead.”

When you replied to him with silence, he sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“Do you know why I let you into my office and let you ask these questions about him?”

You shook your head.

“Love makes us do crazy things,” he answered softly. You held your breath at his words. “There’s no point in beating yourself up for it. The things we do, the things we say in the name of love… They are all decrees of the heart. It’s very hard to disobey,”

Your eyes stung with incoming tears, you blinked, helplessly trying to make them go away. Looking down back to your hands you sniffled, it felt like someone was squeezing your heart and suddenly it was hard to breathe. Your mind swirled, for weeks you were solely focused on the fact that Peter was Spider-Man, completely forgetting that it was your crush on Peter Parker that started it all. You took in a sharp, shaky breath. Your gaze lifting, you tried to ignore that if so much as the wind blew you would start bawling your eyes out. You felt awful.

Otto had a sympathetic gaze as he witnessed your struggle, he smiled and handed you a box of tissues.

“I think you have some thinking to do,” then he added. “Feel free to visit me when you’re stuck again.”

You only managed to nod as you blew out your nose.

⸻

You were inpatient as you waited, raising to your toes and then rolling back to your heels with your hands knitted behind you. The calming smell of baked goods filled your nostrils and a smile spread across your face. Magnolia Bakery was one of your go to places when you wanted to buy someone a delicious gift, today that person was Otto Octavius– You decided to buy him a box of chocolate cupcakes.

The last two weeks had passed you by in a blur. After your first visit to Otto’s office, you found yourself coming back again, but not to interrogate him about Peter but to just…talk. Soon enough the two of you had become close friends, he would tell you about all he wanted to accomplish, all those he wanted to help with the aid of science. You could easily tell that he loved his job, his students. His only struggle was funding but you knew he would overcome those issues as well. Peter was right, Otto Octavius was a great man.

You would usually be the one listening, sometimes talking about your day and your own struggles with school and your internship. Otto had great advice when it came to situations like that, you were thankful. He had helped you get your mind away from Peter and the whole Spider-Man thing, you hadn’t told him that but you did confess about the whole dish washing fiasco. He laughed, hard.

Otto only asked you about Peter once, and that was about how you felt. You didn’t have an answer to give. You told him you cared about him but didn’t really know what to do about it, he understood, talking about his own experience he had with his late wife.

“Here you go, ma’am.”

You were snapped away from your thoughts, immediately smiling when you saw a young man handing you a box of cupcakes. Thanking him you left the store, heading towards the university. As you walked you noticed a crowd ahead, near city hall. The sound of police sirens filled the streets and before you could understand what was going on your body reacted, adrenaline starting to pump through your veins. You heard a familiar “whip” and looked up, Spider-Man was carelessly swinging between buildings.

Parts of the crowd started to run away, screams echoing in the streets, but the noise faded into the back of your mind, only the rush of blood filling your ears. Without a second thought you ran towards the opposite direction you probably should’ve gone. Men, women, children, they all bumped into you as you tried to reach city hall, when you did you saw Spider-Man standing in front of the police cars. The police had their guns aimed towards…something but you couldn’t quite see from the smoke. You stood near a police car, taking in gasps of air as you tried to calm yourself.

The ominous noise of something mechanical came within the smoke, shadows of something snake-like casting against the white. You held your breath as you watched. There was more than one snake-like thing, it came closer and closer. Your gaze fell onto Spider-Man, the hero tilted his head to the side, his hands slightly away from his body ready to fight. You feared for him. Many did, hence the absence of a crowd. Only a couple of civilians stood between the cars. Your fingers squeezed around the bag you still, for some reason, had.

“Don’t be shy, come on out!” Spider-Man shouted. “I have some dishes to do so I would love it if we could just wrap this up!”

The mechanical noise grew closer, then it emerged from the smoke. You gasped as a metal, something you could only describe as an arm, attached itself to Spider-Man’s chest. His scream echoed as he was thrown across the city, disappearing from view.

“Pe–Spider-Man!” you corrected yourself as you screamed with the rest of the crowd. The police started to shoot and you turned back to see what they were shooting at.

A man hovered above four metal arms, it looked like it was attached to him, you couldn’t help but feel relieved when you saw it was only a human and nothing, half-lizard or something. The man wore dark, circular glasses, you leaned in closer to get a better look– He seemed familiar.

Before you could pin-point why that was, the man picked up one of the cars and threw it towards the crowd standing opposite to you. Your eyes went wide as screams and shouts erupted, your body oozed cold sweat. The police had stopped their fire and started to escort the crowd away, you vaguely could hear some of them mumbling about Spider-Man’s whereabouts.

Then an indescribable feeling of warmth washed over you and you looked up, Spider-Man was back. A smile tugged at your lips, of course he was back, Spider-Man always got back up.

“That was rude,” he shouted as he webbed one of the arms to the sidewalk. “Didn’t your parents teach you any manners!”

The man growled, “Stay out of this Spider-Man. This is your final warning,”

That voice–

“Sorry pal, my job description specifically asks me to stick my nose into places it doesn’t belong to,”

Your blood froze, the box of cupcakes slipped from your hand as an overwhelming sense of shock struck your body. A police officer tried to move you but you couldn’t, he shouted something but left when he realized you wouldn’t budge. A shiver ran up your spine as your mouth went dry.

“Doctor Octavius?”

Spider-man verbalized your thoughts. You stared at them both, seeing a smirk forming across Otto’s lips.

“Hello Peter,”

Luckily most of the crowd and officers had dispersed to leave the villain to Spider-Man. You swallowed, so Otto did know. You took a step closer and noticed Peter’s body was tense, the muscles of his back clearly visible underneath the skin tight suit. He was surprised, but why, wasn’t he the one to–

“Peter? Who’s Peter?” Spider-Man chirped, but you could hear the anxiousness in his voice. “I don’t know who that is but sounds like a charming fella,”

“Stop trying to deflect with humor,” Otto glared. “You will have to face reality one way or another,”

Despite the covering his mask provided, you could imagine Peter’s face falling at his professor’s words.

“You knew?” he replied slowly as if he was trying to comprehend what was happening. “Since when?”

You were surprised when you found yourself pretty much only steps away from the two, still shocked by what was going on, you hadn’t even noticed that you got so close. You held your breath, hoping that you would be completely invisible to them both.

“Since a visit from a friend of yours, an admirer,” Otto teased. “To her defense she didn’t directly tell me, I glued the pieces together after our many meet-ups.”

Your stomach dropped, was that why he was so kind to you? To gather information? Peter still seemed lost at his words, tilting his head to the side as he tried to figure out what Otto was talking about. But before their conversation could continue Otto’s eyes darted to you, the mere look made you flinch. Spider-Man followed his gaze, turning and finally being aware of your presence.

“Speak of the devil,” Otto mused.

“Y/n?” Peter said, completely ignoring Otto. He took a step closer to you. “You knew and you told him?”

His demeanor and voice was calm but you could feel the intensity of his anger of betrayal. The air between the two of you chilled.

“Now don’t be mad at her, Peter.” Otto chimed in. “She didn’t do anything wrong. Technically.”

Peter’s head snapped back to Octavius, he protectively extended his arm towards you and spoke to you without looking.

“Get out of here. We’ll talk later,”

“What’s wrong with him?” you whispered. “I saw him the day before, he was fine.”

“Long story,” he quickly replied. “Just leave. Please,”

You took a step forward, Peter smoothly shimmied to your front. Almost completely shielding you from Otto.

“I don’t want you to fight alone,” you said firmly. “You keep everyone safe but who keeps you safe?”

“This isn’t the time nor the place for this conversation,” he hissed.

You walked past him, puffing up your chest as you stood your ground in front of Otto Octavius. A whisper in your mind told you to run, to fall back but you didn’t. You would prove to Spider-Man that he didn’t have to be alone, not anymore. Besides, it had to be some sort of mind control going on with Otto, right? There was no way he just…switched like this. You could vaguely hear Peter telling you to fall back.

“Otto this isn’t you,” you began, extending both of your arms like a shield. “Stop this. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, we’ll find a solution.”

The moment you stopped talking is the moment you realized that there was no solution. Otto’s lips spread into a sinister, evil smirk. His pearly whites greeting you as his glasses slid down his nose, his once kind eyes now only reading of malicious intent.

“Call me, Sir.”

The world shifted into slow motion. One metal arm curled and a sharp dagger came out of the middle, your lips parted with a gasp as it headed straight towards you. All the noises around you faded, the only thing you could hear was your own heartbeat and breathing. You were completely frozen with fear. The only part that you could move was the tip of your fingers and they kept on twitching as the arm slithered closer to you like a snake about to eat his prey.

You were going to die.

Suddenly someone held you and turned you, the arm missing you only by a second as it scratched your cheek. You screamed at the unexpected pain, finally the world started to move at regular speed. The voices of the city came rushing back into your ear and you noticed that Spider-Man was holding you tight. He pulled you away from his chest, away from the comfort he provided and grasped your shoulders.

“Are you alright?”

You faintly nodded, your eyes unfocused.

“Good. Now, listen to me. Hey, look at me–” he raised his voice as he shook you from your shoulders. Your eyes focused on the eyes of his mask. “Listen to me, you need to go.”

“No,” you felt like you were in a trance. Your body started to uncontrollably shiver. “I–I want to help, Peter, let me help. I can help…”

“You. Can’t. Help. Me.” he replied, pronouncing every word very clearly. “Look at you. You’re trembling, you're afraid. Just leave, I’ll find you later–”

Unbeknownst to you, you had started to ramble the same thing over and over again. Peter sighed. For a moment it looked like he was going to say something else but instead he suddenly jolted straight up, pushing you to the ground and swiftly turning on his heels. Moments later one of the arms appeared out of nowhere.

You watched wide-eyed as he held back one of Octavius’s arms with his bare hands. You realized with horror that the metal dagger thing was directly pointed at Peter’s chest. He grunted and you could see him slipping, Otto approached the two of you with a grin.

“I’ve always liked you Peter. You were the brightest of my students, it’s a shame you decided to become a wretched vigilante– Wasting your mind for heroics.”

“I prefer to call myself a kickass-super-duper-heroic-mildlydepressed-bugboy. But if you want to keep things formal sure, go with vigilante,”

How was he still making jokes?

With the corner of your eyes you noticed a gun on the ground. It was two crawls away. You blocked out the banter the two had, getting on your knees you started praying that Octavius wouldn’t notice you. The concrete scraped your knees and your palms as you crawled and with one last stretch you managed to scoop the gun.

“Now what do we have here,”

Before you could gloat in victory something cold wrapped around your ankle and pulled you up. Suddenly you were face to face with Otto, your arms dangled but you still held the gun in your hand.

“I’ll– I’ll be there, don't worry!” Peter groaned, still struggling with the claw.

“Sorry my boy but you won’t be getting anywhere anytime soon,” Otto replied and a scream ripped from Peter’s lungs. Worry filled your heart but you couldn’t look back as you dangled.

“Now now don’t cry, my dear,” Otto suddenly cooed, his gaze directed back at you. “I’m sure the two of you will meet in another life,”

Adrenaline mixed with the fear for both you and Peter suddenly rushed through your veins, your ears rang as you moved. Your muscles strained as you hoisted your upper body up, pointing the gun directly at Otto’s forehead. His eyebrows went all the way to his hairline as he burst with panic, the arm directed at Peter came flying back and he dropped you.

The wind blew through your hair as you fell, you hadn’t really considered how high up you were. Before you could feel the hardness of concrete, two strong arms caught you. The view of city hall suddenly changed and you found yourself clutching Spider-Man’s back, swinging between buildings as you wrapped your legs around him with horror.

If it was any other time you might’ve enjoyed this.

But not now.

Not after Otto.

Burying your face into his chest, you cried. The feelings came down crashing into you like a truck, your eyes hurt from squeezing them as tears slid freely down your cheeks and wet Peter’s costume. Your body trembled as you sobbed, mumbling apologies for not being able to help. Hiccuping as you tried to breathe, Peter held you tighter with each apology but other than that he was completely silent.

“Hey, we’re here,” he spoke softly. “You can let go.”

You slid off of his body but your legs quivered as you stood by yourself. His hands were still on you, helping you stay up. You sniffled, too ashamed to look at him. Quickly you scanned the area, you could barely identify that this was the rooftop of your apartment– Far away from City Hall.

“Are you alright?”

You knew what was going to happen if you said you were. You could hear the contempt in his voice, holding his anger back just in case you weren’t fine. You noticed the slash in his chest, it didn’t look that deep but raised your hand with worry, he moved away and you stopped. You slowly lowered your hand.

Gathering the courage you nodded. Peter completely let go of you, taking a step back as he whipped off his mask. Now that you could actually see him, you could see how angry he truly was. His nostrils flared as he locked his eyes to yours. You felt nauseous, like you could be sick at any given moment.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he roared. “You– You knew who I was and told…told my professor?!”

“No,” you exclaimed but your voice came out quieter than you expected. “I learned about it completely by accident and– Peter I just wanted to help, I swear I had no idea–”

He cut you off, “That’s not the only problem. Did you honestly think that I didn’t notice you in the crowd almost every time something big was going on? You were just throwing yourself into danger and for what?! So you could learn who Spider-Man was? Wait–”

Peter was frantic, he paced across the roof, rubbing his temples as he finally unleashed his anger.

“Is that why you fucking did the dishes? Because I was Spider-Man? What the hell?”

“That’s not–”

“You literally stalked me, became friends with my professor– Which, who I knew was going to turn evil by the way– and you told him who I was?”

“How–”

He cut you off again, “Not important right now, that’s a whole other complicated story. The issue here is that you put yourself in danger, multiple times, and I just can’t understand why?”

Peter’s head finally snapped towards you, his cheeks red with anger as he quickly made his way to you. You felt small in his presence, body starting to sweat as you took a step back. The adrenaline had rushed back and urged you to flee. You moved further and further away but alas Peter caught up to you, he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and jerked you.

“Why?” he growled as he repeated.

You said nothing as fear struck your tongue. You shuddered, his eyes pierced through you.

“I’ll tell you why, you’re just a scared little girl trying too hard to be the proclaimed “hero”. You’re not. You’re nowhere near close. You almost got us both killed. Quite the opposite of a hero.”

Your face contorted with in coming tears, you whimpered. Peter’s grasp on your shirt became tighter. You felt suffocated.

“I’m not a good guy, y/n. Don’t come near me. Don’t try to help me. I do not need some civilian’s help.”

He finally let you go and you fell to the floor, gasping for air despite not being choked. Your eyes wide, teardrops fell one by one to the ground, leaving a dark mark in its wake. Your body trembled as you looked up, Peter was walking away, his mask once again covering his face.

“That’s not it,” you croaked, slowly getting back up. He didn’t turn but he did stop, you continued. “I care for you Peter, I truly just wanted to help. I didn’t stalk Spider-Man to find out who he was. The next morning, the morning after you came to my apartment, I saw you getting changed in the street.” you smiled as you remembered. “You saved that little girl. I wanted to tell you but didn’t, that’s my fault.”

“That doesn’t make a difference,” he said as he walked away, aiming his wrist towards the building across from the one you stood on. “Besides you don’t care about me, you care about Spider-Man. About heroism. Just leave me alone and you’ll be safe.”

With that he left. You noticed that he was heading back to city hall, to fight, again. Wounded. Your legs gave out and you fell back down, tears streamed down your face but you didn’t care to wipe them away. Your heart ached, the scene that just happened replaying in your mind over and over again. His hurtful words acting like a ghost of regrets. Otto, Peter, Spider-man, they all left huge scars in your mind and heart.

You didn’t know what to do anymore.