#girl help what is this im just gay

[mcchi-ken]

fiddauthor galore featuring: another pmmm crossover, me getting the hang of drawing that wonky man (fiddleford), and a wip

the last one is a very obscure entirely italian reference but if you get it. i will give you a little kiss 😋 little hint: its a music video. you know this song. your dad loves it. there's the word gravity in it thats why i chose it

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

lmaooo yeahh!! its just i was so starved for wlw content. for ACTUAL wlw and not just speculative wlw (ykwim? like couples that are like lumity and not like bechloe. as much as i love bechloe.). id originally checked s2 out from the library (yep. i watched OUT OF ORDER) i knew nothing about it apart from it being gay. but it hooked me??? i mean me and ghost have talked about when i watched citrus because i was so desperate for wlw 😭. DONT ASK 😭. fanfictions were written. it was bad 💀

also NO!!! cmon s5 was amazing. there was like- so much going on in that season with the riot. i get it though- pouessey was a good character. idk there was so much that happened in s5 and especially with alex and piper. s6 too... i really started to like pennsatucky... oh and taystee and nicky... this is really making me want to rewatch it tbh.

UGHHH THE SHOWER SCENE 💀😭🫡. stop bc actually same. my gay ass would pause it and stare to try to get a glimpse of anna kendrick 🤝. girl how did i not know i was gay. PLUS LITERALLY LIKE- the chemistryyyyyyy i cant. theres no way beca isnt queer. im not just saying that cause shes my type but like COME ONNNN. bi for bi at LEAST. chloe literally was so into her. THEY BOTH WERE. "theyre really good friends" my mf ass bruh. Aubrey and fat amy talking about which one of them was a lesbian as chloe literally pulls her close a little further away from them - CLEARLY DRUNK - being all flirty. i mean aubrey/stacy and bechloe 🫡

also the tent scene in pp2....

the back to basics song from pp2 is probably my favorite fucking thing. THE CLIPS WITH ALL OF THEM. just the montage from the movie. anna looking grumpy going down the waterslide and being thrown into the air like a rag doll. just that entire video... i love it sm. ALSO ANNA'S PART... "awowowah" whatchama call it.

also not to mention the net part- I LOVE THE CAMP SCENES. i cant. all of it.

ALSO THE RIFF OFF FROM PP2 WHERE ANNA BREAKS OFF TO SING BEFORE HE CHEATS. ABSOLUTELY CRIMINAL AND FULL FUCKING VERSION WHEN?????. -> ALSO WHEN ESTER DOES THAT PART "GIRLS... YOU KNOW YOU BETTER... WATCH OUT!!" that part??? HOLY FUCK i love their voices sm.

i can gush abt this so much but i find it so funny that haliee and ben platt were written as a couple because ben is very much not straight. i should try to listen to his music again tbh.

oh yeah i have- recs but theres so many thatve been lost in the ether cause ff.net and my old wattpad acc. i thinkkkk ive heard of experimentation. i dont remember if ive read it- 50 shades of bechloe changed my brain chemistry though 😭. i HAVR BOOKMARKS IN MY PHONE FROM MY OLD PHONE OF RANDOM CHAPTERS. i was... 👋😐 unhinged.

if i go through my old bookmarks i might get back to u abt them. honestly most r smut iirc 😭. BUT I THINK I GOT A FEW THAT ARENT.

ALSO YEAH INFODUMP ABT A SIMPLE FAVOR OMG. i had a fic way back when i think i deleted from my bookmarks but if i didnt i might read it for this occasion.

im not too good w horror so perhaps it might be a good thing??? i get scared easily. i went into scream 1 completely spoiled bc i was so anxious because id never watched a horror movie before that - APART FROM PROM NIGHT w britt. its a whole thing but im down??;?? any and all propaganda is good and will be documented into my brainnnn

SAPPHO WHATS WITH THE SUPERCORP CONTENT ON MY DASH HELP 😭

Sorrrrry. I was consumed by the madness. It all started when I realized one of my favorite fic authors (and all time favorite for supercorp) is on here. And then I got supercorp on my dash and remembered they are both very hot and very good together. It will happen again 😁

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

[frantic-babbling]

no thoughts, head empty except for darry and paul being heartstopper in another universe and time period

and in their version they of course don't work because duh... like it would definitely not be like heartstopper at all because we're turning all the angst, darkness, drama, and homophobia up by 100 and taking away all the hearts, leaves, and sunshine but like i'm kind of envisioning some very wonky and wobbly parallels?

thank you heartstopper season 3 for coming out while I'm drowning in the outsiders and gay.

[foccaccia]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

[samarecharm]

I love seeing the kitty post again bc it reminded me of an incredibly old hc of mine. Akira is like “(whispering)Ann. There is no way in fucking hell i am letting you strip naked in front of someone we dont know and dont trust (yusuke). Like that is just not happening.” And theres like a beat before akira is like. Out loud- ‘Let me do it instead.’ Which Yusuke immediately agrees too

Bc Akira 1) literally has to go to the bathhouse nightly bc the cafe does not have a convenient shower in its tiny washroom; he does not care in the slightest about stripping in front of anyone. 2) Ann JUST joined this team, and she is automatically placed in the position of ‘family i want to protect’; he would never forgive himself if something actually happened to ann, even if he thinks Yusuke is at worst, an eccentric little man. And 3). Yusuke is pretty 👉🏾👈🏾 he is so pretty and he wants to hang out w the w pretty boy and talk to him :) and if Yusuke spends the whole time complimenting Akira and his body that is an extra bonus

His acting is way better than Anns, and so some time during the painting, hes like !! ‘I think i heard something’ and rushes to get his clothes on in a very believable fit of panic. And its enough to make Yusuke believe Madarame came home early, which in turn makes HIM panic (which makes akira SO upset; that is not a look he wants to see on Yusuke ever again). And as Akira is running around trying to find a way out (finding the Door blocking them in the palace), he spots Mona struggling w the door and NEARLY freaks out.

“Is there a back door somewhere? I wont be able to jump out of a window and I dont want to bump into him trying to leave through the front.”

“N-no there isnt,” Yusuke says, stammering a bit “but you can just stay in my Room until he settles in-“

“Will he NOT check your room?”

Yusuke looks VISIBLY distressed. “Yes. I-I mean, no, he may search my quarters, but he will most certainly check THIS room; its safer to be caught in my room than for us to be caught in this one.”

And Akira is like. Why is that? With the facade gone, Yusuke will admit later down the line that he was more scared of Akira in that split second than the possibility of confronting his sensei. “You live here. Youve lived here for years? And Madarame has a room that, if you walk into it, is a death sentence in your eyes. Because you know thats not outside the realm of possibility.”

Yusuke sees Morgana behind Akira w a little pick in his mouth and he can hear the door creaking open.

“Yusuke. You know this.”

He refuses to comment.

Suddenly, Akira hears Real footsteps. Ones that he is sure belongs to Madarame. And its different when hes Pretending to run for his life, its another when he KNOWS hes in danger.

“Morgana. Inside.”

Yusuke sees the cat scamper inside the room before he feels Akira grip the front of his shirt and yank him inside, past the decorated door.

Akira is already on his phone, searching for the app, when Morgana pulls the string to illuminate the room. He sees the paintings. And he can see that Yusuke has seen them too. Hundreds of them lining the walls. Copies upon copies upon copies upon copies littering every inch of this room.

When Madarame comes in, he gives some half hearted excuse, and when Yusuke sees through it, threatens them. Akira, not keen on having Yusuke hurt(and NOT keen on having this boy yelled at), drags him by the hand outside of the room, away from the screaming and onto the streets. He says “trust me, please” and before Yusuke can nod his head, hes falling.

Ann thinks its so funny. Ryuji rushing to catch Yusuke as he plummets into the palace, and hes like “WHAT. You are Not Akira,” as he puts him down. Followed by Akira himself crashlanding into Yusukes arms. Hes visibly shaking, but hes a mix between scared shitless and unbearably giddy.

“Hey. You trusted me.”

“I dont think I had much of a choice, if I am being honest.”

And Akiras like youre right. You really didnt. But I promise you, starting now, you will have a choice. I want to help you, I want you to have agency in your life. And its really scary taking that first step (punching shido, standing up for someone else. Confronting your abuser, standing up for yourself) but im going to make sure its worth it. I swear to god im going to make sure its worth it.

And like. TBH. Akira cant help himself. Hes a sucker for pretty faces. And unfortunately for him, fate has put every fucking pretty face with a sob story in his path and he CANT just leave them there !

[peachyygoblin]

How u doing after last night's nisaac marriage fiasco

ough,,,, OAAAUGHHH OAUGHHHH

i had wedding fanart prepared,,, i don't think i can finish it now..😣

BUT I GET WHY IT HAPPENED, it doesn't make it hurt any less.. but the whole point of the show is that we will see these ghosts at their worst!! they take 2 steps forward and 10 steps back,, we are meant to yell and scream because these characters at the end of the day are just like us i think... despite them being dead they all share the fact that they are human and because of that they are all so fucked up and while YES they are technically dead, its still their first time ''living'', being *alive*... i dont think this is the end of their relationship, and i think this separation could be a good thing, we get breathing space to see both of them develop and grow outside of their relationship.. i just hope that despite it all they will still be close, its obvious that they care about each other very much

anyways i dont know if what i said makes any sense but please feel free to weigh in on this you guys!!

[vaniliens]

My love for girls is the exact reason i only label myself as queer

[dandyshucks]

experiencing my bimonthly (every two months) morality spiral of "it's bad that i like men, why am i not as attracted to women, i must be a misogynist if I personally am not as often attracted to women as i am men"

i would say i need to go touch grass to get over it but unfortunately I do that at least once a day and it does not seem to help 😔 (this second paragraph is half joke)

[13eyond13]

.

[fruit-kick]

[Image description: Hand drawn art of Amy from I Love Amy framed with web-themed dividers. The notebook page is of a blue tone, acting as the background, while the drawing is shaded in pink. The first version is lightly shaded and the second is stronger.

In the drawing, Amy is lying down and sleeping on her back with one arm on her stomach and the other spread out. Her mouth is slightly open and there's a snot bubble coming from her nose. In the background, a heart frames her from the waist up.

On the bottom left, "I (heart) Amy" is written in bubbly letters, and on the bottom right, a thought bubble leading to a full cookie jar reads "When I see the way you look / Shaken by how long it took / I could do about anything / I could even learn how to love / like you."

Outlined doodles resembling stickers are drawn across the page. On the upper left is a strawberry surrounded by stars, and a rainbow. On the right is a bunny and animal paw. Then, on the middle left are two cupcakes and stars.

The artist's signature, "@/fruit-kick on tumblr", is written beside Amy. /end id]

[glitterfartsprinkle]

hi sorta personal bullying rant.

just remembered how 2 days ago i was laying in the bleachers like a hotdog and awoke to someone i wont name but i will say are the worst saying "move your fatasss" and. Throwing? A toddler tantrum? Like stomping and shit when there were so many other places to sit? ma'm me are in the gym auditorium i am but a spec of a person in this place. i dont even know if this is a vent. but its some stupid shit that happened

[ashtraysystem]

I'm subbing for my sibling4's class today and her friends told her "your sister is the coolest!" and she corrected them and told them I use they/them pronouns 🥺

[franeridan]

the only continuity i need from the lupin franchise is for jigen to keep on being the gayest motherfucker alive while still getting more women than any of the bi and het men around him combined

[orcelito]

oh yeah uh i forgot to talk about my day. i havent rly been existing as a person whoops. uh

work kinda sucked but not NEARLY as bad as yesterday. honestly yesterday was probably the worst shift ive had in uh. well at least a year im betting. it was really so very bad.

today was better except Whoops my bike broke a little bit. forgot to mention that too. i left it at work overnight in the storage room n im gonna bring it to the bike shop tomorrow. so im gonna be without my bike for a few days </3

uhm. otherwise ive been procrastinating, still not doing my dishes, reading trigun fanfic and rewatching trigun stampede and reading trigun maximum. and also browsing etsy for trigun merch, of which i bought a few things.

now im thinking about skipping class again bc it's accidentally oh so late and i am very tired. i can rationalize it to myself that it's Totally for the sake of finishing my lab tomorrow. but really ive just lost control of this semester and i barely wanna do shit anymore. lol.

[im-very-sorry]

what if god is not large,,, what if god is so terribly small