#anyways!!! girl help i am SO BAD at showing interest and availability but

[13eyond13]

.

[sugar-lolya]

Anything can be cured.

Sandor Cligan x reader

(Hello dear reader. I am a newbie writer, why don't judge harshly:) I hope the story came out not bad for the first time. But I will be glad to all your comments (recommendations/advice), which I will take into account in the future. I won't keep you any longer, have a nice read.)

Chapter 1

The North is cold and harsh. Many newcomers cannot even live there, let alone stay. The Northerners are the only ones who can survive in this chilling cold. And they are led by the equally great Stark family, who have ruled the North for hundreds of years. But sometimes you don't have to be born a Stark to be one....

......

Winterfell Castle. It stands on a hot spring, and the water runs down its mighty walls like blood through your veins. It is as old as the wall that towers over all of Westeros. But the castle has not been abandoned for so long. On the contrary, it is teeming with life.

The fierce clang of swords sounds in the courtyard, accompanied by cheering shouts, the neighing of horses and the howling of the harsh North wind. Inside the castle there is the usual bustle, everyone is busy with business. Even the lord's children, the boys are practicing swordsmanship. And the girls are working in the upper room at the top of the tower.

-Aunt Kris, please tell one of those 'camping' stories again, I can't stand this nasty embroidery class. I'm worse at it than Sansa anyway. - a nine year old girl whimpered, if she had her way, this would be the last place she'd show up. Her interests were at odds with those of other little girls. She didn't like embroidery or playing with dolls, but she enjoyed shooting, swordfighting, and horseback riding. But none of those things were available to her.

-"Arya, my girl, you've heard these stories thirty times, and the septa doesn't like it when I tell them to you. You know how she feels about cruelty and violence, and my stories are full of it,” the girl replied, keeping her eyes on her embroidery: she was holding her own cloak, which she had been working on for weeks. It showed Winterfell, flanked by a dark gray draug and a fox. Most of the fur was white as snow, except for the ears, paws, and tip of the tail. They were black as night, and the eyes were like two small pieces of ice, just like the owner of the cloak. She didn't really like embroidery, but it was better than dealing with the colors and patterns she had left behind.

The girl turned around, looking at the elderly woman, Septa Mordain, once again praising the work of the eldest Stark daughter. A dozen girls crowded around Sansa, also praising her embroidery. Only Arya and Crystal did not participate in this “henhouse,” as the little Lady Stark called it.

Rolling her eyes, the girl turned around, turning her gaze back to her aunt: - "Please!" - Arya whispered, making her expression as pitiful as she could.

Crystal sighed, put the embroidery aside and raised her hands in surrender with a smile: "Okay, okay, but just one last time. So, what story does my little she-wolf want to hear this time?" - The girl sat closer and gently touched the girl's hair.

-"That one about you and your father,"- Arya's eyes lit up, and she fidgeted nervously in her seat as she waited for the story to be told.

"A long time ago, when your father was about ten years old and he had just become a student of John Arena at the Eagle's Nest. One day, he and his friend Robert went hunting in the nearby forest. Of course, they weren't allowed to go alone, and they sent a whole squad with them to help with the hunt. Your father didn't like such senseless noisy gatherings, so he separated from the group and went hunting on his own. At some point, Ned heard a strange sound that was not typical of the forest. He headed in that direction and came across a stream flowing down from one of the many mountains. He looked around and saw a basket being carried along the stream, and from it came the sound of a child crying. He dropped all his weapons and rushed into the stream in front of him without hesitation. At the last moment, he managed to grab the basket and pull it out. He returned, clutching the basket tightly in his hands. I stopped crying and looked at my savior's face with interest. Soon Robert and his servants found him and took him back to the Eagle's Nest. Already there, Ned called me Stark and gave me the name Crystal, after the color of my white skin and light brown hair"… Her story was interrupted by Arya's scream.

-"And my father said that he named you after your eyes, because they looked like crystal clear waters."- The girl blurted it out in one breath and looked at her aunt with a satisfied look, but the smile quickly disappeared when she saw the expression on her face.

Crystal looked very gloomy, thoughtfully staring at the wall. Arya realized that she had blurted out too much and was already thinking hard about the words of apology. When suddenly Septa called out to them,- "Arya, show me what you've done!" - The woman came over and snatched the work out of her hands. -" Again, everything is crooked and askew, your hands are not made for sewing, these are the hands of a carpenter."

Crystal looked up at the septa and crossed her arms over her chest in protest. As she approached, she snatched Arya's work out of the old woman's hands and began to study each stitch carefully. -" I don't think so, she has potential, but if you notice only the bad in your work every time, then you will never get good." - putting the embroidery on the table and taking her finished cloak, Crystal left the room, Arya jumped out after her. The septa's scream echoed throughout the tower. Upon hearing it, Arya distills the Crystal and gets lost in the countless corridors of Winterfell.

On the move, putting on a cloak, the girl leaves the tower and goes to the Godswood. After passing through the high arch, Crystal saw her brother Lord sitting on a stone under one of the weirwood trees. Coming closer, she nodded in greeting and sat down next to him. Eddard was diligently sharpening his family's sword "Ice". None of them dared to interrupt the silence, because they did not want to end the already few moments of calm.

After a while, Catelyn joined them. The expression on her face and the black letter in her hands did not bode well. As she got closer, she hesitated, trying to find the words. -" Ned, Crystal… bad news has come from King's Landing, I'm very sorry, John Arryn died… "- there was a tense silence, people sitting in mute horror stared at Catelyn. -" I know how important he was to you because you grew up with him, and he replaced your father with a Crystal… But there is something else in the letter… The King and his family are going north to Winterfell to visit you." - Catelyn gave the letter to Ned so that he would be convinced of the truth of his words. Looking at each other, the brother and sister smiled slightly. They had a good relationship with Robert, and as children, Ned and Robert took care of the newborn Crystal.

To be continued…

[meyerlansky]

Something I think is interesting about the punch on the wing scene in MOTA is that Bucky says “I order you to hit me,” and then immediately after (I’m 90% sure it’s his next line after Curt speaks) says “ranks off.” Like… you can’t order someone to punch you (effectively pulling rank) and then say no more ranks. I mean you can, because he did, but yeah

Y E A H! IT DRIVES ME CRAZY ACTUALLY!!!

like you can take bucky's "that's an order" as a wink-wink nudge-nudge crack at the fact that uhhh neither of them really give a shit about rank on the ground: if curt did he wouldn't step up to gale about the RAF captains, and if any of the four majors in the scene did they'd have stopped a lieutenant from taking a hit his commanding officer stepped up for. i don't even really think curt cares about bucky ordering him to hit him, not in the sense of "i am a good little soldier, i can't disobey an order 🫡" anyway. when curt brings the ranks up, he's really REALLY obviously using it as a soft no, both to give bucky an opportunity to laugh it off and save face AND to try and get out of being made to do something he does NOT want to do even though his friend asked him for it. and even after that, he has to be pushed EVEN MORE into actually swinging. he gives bucky two very obvious soft no's, and only throws the punch after bucky physically pushes him into it. that's what we in the know call "coerced consent," baybee!

and then, boy i wish i wasn't at work so i could post caps, but AFTER THAT they have this little exchange that just feels fucking awful to watch: curt is watching bucky reel from the hit looking very concerned, and when bucky stands up he kind of backs away and puts his hands up like he thinks bucky's gonna swing back. bucky kind of sidles up to him and pats him on the shoulder—very "big dog who wants to play-fight with someone smaller" body language, as a note 😳—and it looks like everything's fine, but then as he walks over to the edge of the wing he shoots curt this look that's... a little resentful? maybe? like he wasn't expecting curt to hit him THAT hard? and curt turns away AFTER that look, so i think he caught it, and he looks SO FUCKING MISERABLE for the rest of the scene, even after bucky grins at him and i want to rip my own throat out about it actually

tangent ahead, my meta-writer roots are showing, i cannot help myself: bucky's relationship to his rank and authority is fascinating to me, actually. he really only wants it when it's convenient and it gets him what he wants. he doesn't want air exec because he feels left out of the fighting and guilty for being safe when everyone else is up, which is not THE most selfish on the surface, but it is still him prioritizing his feelings over doing the job he was given and thereby keeping the ENTIRE GROUP safe. he's buddy-buddy with the other pilots until he wants curt to hit him or crank to stop saying shit he doesn't want to hear [which imo is worse, even though i agree with bucky wrt Fuck 'Em; at least he was alone with curt on the wing, but making crank say "yes sir" in front of his ENTIRE CREW? ouch. ouch!]. he plays favorites in the air, with curt AND gale, and puts MULTIPLE FORTS FULL OF MEN in danger to get them out of tight spots. he basically abdicates all leadership responsibility in the stalag and puts it all on gale, up to and including only really discussing escape for the two of them, not their crews.

and like, i get it! i 100% understand why he's as selfish as he is, and in particular i wouldn't expect his internal logic to be consistent while he's White Girl Wasted as a—very bad, but really his Only Available—coping method for very deep trauma and grief. but he's SO self-centered, basically all the time, and it is such an interesting trait in contrast to the rest of his character, which is: he's fundamentally a good guy. i buy what he says to paulina, that he signed up because he wanted to help right nazi germany's wrongs. he's the one who says "maybe we should think about them" when the tuskeegee airmen roll in, and you can take that a couple of ways, but i personally don't think gale would've talked to alex without that push from bucky. he gets bitter about lil and dye for a hot minute [again, while drinking] but then gets over it REAL quick to reassure her dye'll be fine. he writes the letters to the families of the guys they lose over bremen even though it's not his responsibility As Of Five Minutes Ago. he SNAPS after the mustang fires on the march column, because simoleit put his men in danger with the night marches. he was absolutely NEVER going to shoot the german kids in westphalia, vs gale who is SO OBVIOUSLY talking himself OUT of murdering a child. he does actually care about people! even people he doesn't know! and i don't actually think he'd shrug off his abuses of rank and skirting authority, if it was pointed out to him and it impacted people he didn't want to hurt. which is why i wrote 2.6k of navel-gazy fic about it, even though he only finds out curt's hurt because of him at the end of the fic but shhh

[lyracarvahall]

HeartBeat Sync Part 3

Turning Up The Heat

  Everything from the moment she stepped off the plane became a blur. Apparently, according to Liam, they were 20 minutes behind schedule and they had to rush to make it in time for sound check. Eden apparently didn’t normally go to the show but wanted to meet Y/N at the show to give her ideas. That and to give her an idea of the scale of the projects they could collaborate on together.

                The ride in the white SUV that picked them up was awkward to say the least. Not much was said. Y/N due to her mounting anxiety. The rest due to the continuing unexplained tension. Definitely needed to ask Lexi about THAT later….

                By the time they pulled up to the venue, there was a massive crowd outside. Bunches of people dressed up in cool outfits and crazy costumes. Their energy and excitement were contagious. It helped strip away a bit of the nerves and get Y/N enthusiastic for what was to come. As the SUV pulled into a dark garage and away from the colorful assembly above, the silence started to let the dark thoughts crawl back into Y/N’s mind. Before they could settle however, the car parked and Lexi was giggling and yanking her out of her seat.

                With Liam at the forefront and two other security guards flanking their sides, the girls were escorted into the building. Many concrete hallways full of backstage happenings were all around them. Costumes being wheeled by on carts and dancers stretching  against the walls. Finally, towards the end of the series of hallways, the backstage was revealed. A bunch of technicians setting up lights and, in one corner, a man talking with what looked to be the sound person. It was Eden, joking and laughing with the sound guy. When he turned and noticed Y/N’s group, he composed himself and offering a smirk, finger combed his dark hair out of his face with one hand and then offered a curt bow. He then extended a hand to Y/N to shake. Y/N hesitantly took it.

“ Hey there Y/N! Glad you made it! The show is about to start. You excited?”

Y/N briefly stuttered before responding, “I am honored. Thank you for inviting me. This all looks so incredible!” She began to look around again in wonder.

“I know, right? I rarely attend their shows, especially in the US, but they group is testing a new song tonight and wanted me to see its first live performance.”

Y/N gasped. “A new song?! That is so awesome! I cannot wait to hear it. Is that why you invited me here?”

“Mostly. I wanted you to hear their new song and then ask you how you would build a whole album with this new sound. If I like what I hear, I will leave you in charge of the new album. I need a vacation anyway.” He smirks and chuckled to himself.

Suddenly a fire burned across Y/N’s upper back. Y/N fell into a nearby chair in shock. Another set of footsteps approached and faltered as they reached the group.

“You CANNOT be serious! You are giving her production of the album?? AH!” the voice faltered and sounded as if it was in pain.

Once the pain dulled for Y/N, what remained felt like a bad sunburn. Lexi was kneeling by the chair and her words were finally audible as the shock wore away.

“Y/N! Are you okay?? What happened?”

“I’m okay, Just felt a burning for a minute. I…”

As Y/N looked up, she saw no other than Hongjoong kneeling on the ground with a look of anger and confusion in his eyes. He then locked his dark eyes upon Y/N and the anger seemed to melt away.

Eden looked on with a knowing smirk. “Oooh this just got interesting.”

================================================

Sorry it has been so long since I have written. With the holidays, I got a little backed up. Let me know what you think and the next chapter will be available soon. <3

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Almost famous

This is an interesting concept and it goes back to the beginning of time whenever there has been a rockstar there has been followers whenever there has been a group there has been groupies whenever there has been something that is big in the world from Nazi Germany to big group and supported whether it be good or bad as i’m showing you now that had massive supporters absolutely huge following but it wasn’t necessarily good and people know that it wasn’t good when it comes to music and rockstars and any kind of group not even like it doesn’t even have to be like Led Zeppelin when you think of this subject it could be Fleetwood Mac ,notoriously party animals also …. so what distinguishes these things and make them different? Nothing nothing distinguishes them it’s all about perception anyway and the thing that makes it I guess less controversial is there like oh they’re an artist they’re expressing that art. This goes for me in a massive way of how Marilyn Manson has got away almost with what he did to Rachel would especially if you wanna talk about the heart-shaped glasses video where he actually committed a sexual assault in the video, he was very telling who this man is and some of the interviews he gave at the time of the relationship.

Iggy Pop, Another big artist in the 60s and the 70s with the Stooges I think was part of the Sun strip the LA New York City life and London where they had groupies of course and groupies don’t come as women who sleep with the band they come with women who support the band who do their washing men their clothes who make their clothes who don’t get any credit for some other things that they do to help it all becomes from a group mentality, this is why I get angry and certain women are just called groupies especially in Nancy spud and yes she did hang around with groups and she did do certain things but she was extremely loyal to said they both are very young they weren’t even 22 by the time they died

I was making loads of mistakes at that age I had been in triangles I had cheated and just not just the ones I done things you would be ashamed of, but we are all young and that is the beauty that comes with you forgiveness as well looks fade and you see all the time on TikTok where beauty is the only currency that matters Which can give a very pessimistic outlook?

So why did this become such a massive thing? There were a groupies and they’re roughly around the same same age as the groups because a lot of these groups are very young you have to remember the Beatles started out when they were in their late early 20s same with the stones, but things were getting more debauchery you had Keith Moon blowing up toilets starting explosive drugs with plenty for drink was everywhere it wasn’t a bad thing back there necessarily and you weren’t didn’t exist. I’m afraid there were more prescription tablets available. This is an excuse but it’s part of the problem.

Also going back to Iggy Pop he wrote a song in 1996. It was released where he bragged about having sex with a 13-year-old sable star. He had her at 13. She got bored and ran away with a New York Doll something along those lyrics Saber walked away from the groupie life layer in life and became living in Nevada Las Vegas, I think she died of cancer but she was away from the life and never really interviews again,. Laurie Maddox doesn’t regret a thing. The thing is she can’t consent what she did because she was a minor and they were trafficking if they were moving these girls across state lines that is trafficking and they’re so many you could mention in this blog that I am doing, Tyler page Stephen Tyler, Jimmy Page, and Stephen Tyler practically brought the daughter Julia Holcombe of her mother. She was at a concert gig whatever when she was younger I do not know the age at the time but she was young so the mother which they call in America den mother I don’t know what that is but it sounds like a woman who takes young girls out if you wanna put it bluntly kind of like a Gislaine Maxwell. She had a relationship with Stephen and she ended up getting pregnant. He was really happy with her in the beginning and they were together. She was living with him and everything. I don’t know how long with this period of time was but he was away on tour things got worse. The family met her and I think she said the experience was bad, I guess then as well and to this day I suppose the family probably thought what is this intention with my son he’s famous and making a lot of money (I’m guessing). so he’s away on tour she’s pregnant. He hasn’t left a penny. She’s got no food in the house. She’s got one person I think or something of this sort bringing her bits of food and bits of money but you and far between now happens in the building and she has to learn how to roll into a fireplace to save old fireplaces to save her self or something in school, he didn’t want the pregnancy and I believe she had a abortion and she’s having the abortion or it’s just ended all that pain on the woman’s physical and emotional pain. Not to mention this man cares she said he didn’t care at all. He was there doing cocaine and then just offering her cocaine well she’s just lost something that she really wanted..

You can go to the hip-hop industry and we have a Corinne Steffens who released the whole book and many other books about the music industry and the predatory nature and the hip-hop industry is even more sexual and even more the butcher and the type of men and some of them are gay and closeted, like fingers up the booty and this is in the 90s or early to very early 2000s I think she said the experience of her being in the music industry was for 18 months but she ended up really bad on drugs and alcohol to the point where she ended up in the bathroom like comatose and nearly dying, it’s very dangerous out there especially young women entertainment industry what would we have? What would be entertained by? I do have respect for these people. I have respect for the ones who put in the effort and do what they give they give us this music which is a perfect gift this is why we have to separate the artist from actions but the same actions must be punished. All we need a whole massive system where this gets changed and a whole massive corporate thing would have to changed of the one percent in the world. I don’t know but I see it starting to happen with all these allegations from R. Kelly, Epstein to that list of Epstein flight logs to the start of it with Harvey Weinstein Bill Cosby Kevin Spacey, even the Johnny Depp and Amber trial where we see a window in today peoples lives and I saw something really interesting the other day which was fought from reading magazines back when I was a teenager in and up to my mid 20s until I realised there was a huge agenda as I was reading when I was reading if I read a story about 10% of it is going to be real and the rest of it is Fiction, the more I realise where is true it is blind items where you actually hear the whole truth of what this entertainment industry is really like so anyway me going off track as I usually do where I went to the point of titling this almost famous, these are the other percentage of people the ones who get given the bad name or the Scarlett letter, the ones who have their name dragged the mud, the ones who are drug addicts sluts, the l list goes on, to Britney Spears having a breakdown and being called fat when this woman had literally just lost the custody of her children been tarnished by her ex partner who was nothing before he met her and they expected this young girl who started out in the entertainment industry at 18 and he’s probably stunted at that age gave us her whole career her age she gave us all this. She gave us her while she was going probably through. Absolute hell I don’t even like to think about it

That the movement became a pariah against this going back to what I saying about magazines so they want that to be as sided media there’s always a side that always has to be a winner or a loser. That’s what keeps it going and that’s what keeps this battle continuing and it will never end there always has to be a winner and an underdog and a loser. With Israel or Palestine,.

As I stress the point of them calling these people who call out their industry and call out the bad and callout corporations companies people there are allowed to call these people mental crazy drug addicts has been but are they allowed to call them evil are they allowed to call them? Satanist? Are they allowed to call them? Jewish and I am going to say that because as soon as you call someone Jewish though your auntie Summit do you not think these people have been in this industry that long and who haven’t joined the 500 million club Know that there is good and bad. Why is it talked about so many times that if you go through certain or certain opportunities are open up for you because you were doing these things humiliation and rituals? No they just called you crazy but why is the story I ask you always always the same These people were almost famous they did so much and you can watch it in the film almost famous where these groupies get all these bad names and like sexual beings and nothing more than that with Nancy and I’ve read her mother‘s book she came from her good background I rich background Didn’t matter if she hadn’t she still wasn’t the person they were betraying her to be. She was mentally ill from the day she was born. I won’t being strangled by her and umbilical cord. Her mother said how much she struggled every day back in those days she would’ve been called schizophrenic but I believe she was autistic 100% I believe this?

Harder to be diagnosed with problems like that than it is men men are less likely to get diagnosed with things like borderline personality disorder and maybe any kind of mood disorder. Where is women are less likely to have anything that is cognitive I guess anyway I just thought I’d like to go onto my TikTok and you’ll see me talk about Desiree Washington Mike Tyson‘s rape victim. I may have done a story About him on here being similar chart to Wendy and Courtney but matters thank you. I am now going to do a podcast on mental health and mental health conditions and how they present? 

[writeouswriter]

Now I’m intrigued, what’s the title of the unreleased book? I want to gaze wistfully too!

Night Vale URL, respect! The book synopsis and cover that I am gazing longingly at isn't even really *that* exciting in itself, it just pertains specifically to my interests and has almost the exact vibes I've been looking for in a book at this moment that it's killing me I can't snatch it up immediately to check it out. For all I know the book when its actually released will be terrible as I'm hyping myself up over the superficial, including comparison reviews to my favourite media, which comparison reviews in the past to it on other books have literally always let me down, but... but... I have learned nothing from my mistakes and this one just calls to me regardless and I MUST know.

The book is In Nightfall by Suzanne Young.

Image ID: Screenshot of the Goodreads page for the book In Nightfall by Suzanne Young. (Link to page)

Anyway, anyone who knows me knows that 1. I will not shut up about the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go watch it, go watch it now, please, please, please, it is my favourite show, it is ingrained into my very being, it makes up half my personality, and while I'll be the first to point out its flaws, it has such a hold on me filled with nostalgia, it is the epitome of tragedy and comedy and no one understands what makes it so good in the first place as all these comparisons usually miss the heart and core of the show, instead slapping on just the superficial surface elements of girl power and bad jokes that fail to emulate its style and calling it a day. So I don't really trust those comparisons in the reviews, yet when I do see something compare itself to Buffy, I can't help but think what if? What if this one does get it? What if this one can fill the void just a little? It's been nearly 8 years since I watched the show personally, and 21 yrs since it ended and still nothing has come close, but the vibes feel so enticing here that I have cautious optimism, especially since my reading a book of Buffy essays recently caused me to want to find something Buffyesque again and I've been scouring for anything to no avail, so the fact this just so happened across my goodreads dash by accident almost made me lose it.

And then 2. While I'm neutral on the Lost Boys, and this synopsis seems to compare more to that movie than to Buffy, it's one of those somewhat silly 80s horror classics with a vibe I have so much respect for and think needs to return to the modern age.

Meanwhile the cover, I don't know I just really love it, it gives off classic kind of graphic novel vibes, and I really like that look, I want to practice drawing more so I can draw a cover like that, man, it's beautiful and absolutely does give off 80s/90s cult classic energy.

[dearestxxyou]

Nothing.

Lol. Does becoming 23 transform you into a dumb emotional bitch or just turn you back into a damaged emotional teenager?

I'm not sure if I've been overly emotional in past days due to my period. But my life is all messed up right now.

People are just being unfair, which makes me angry and drives me to lose interest in everything.

I've lost interest in talking to people or socializing; it's as if I'm pushing myself to talk to people just to get through the day.

Even though the day has only just started, I already feel exhausted. I've had moments where I've wanted to cry because I can't take it anymore and just wished I was dead. Lol.

When things get tough, I always wish I was dead, even though I realize it's a bad habit. However, I don't think I'll ever live a long life. For that reason, I find it difficult to visualize or pursue my future.

I'm the kind of person that just goes along with everything. In reality, I don't dream. Maybe when I was younger, yes. I occasionally daydreamed about being someone I wish to be. but, don't take it seriously just because it's my dream. I'm not sure whether people can understand how I feel when I dream about anything for me, but that's how I feel.

Or maybe I just have a low self-steem :) or some factors I have experienced.

Anyways, back to what I was ranting about.. Lol!

I still feel the same way I did in my previous entry. I keep losing interest in everything because I feel like people take me for granted most of the time. This just seems like something a "IT GIRL" would say, lol. I'm not sure how to better express it. :/

To be honest, I feel like a side character in everyone's story, you know.. Like someone they know who will show up anytime they need someone. Or someone who will be available if they require help. But they never saw me as a person who was a part of their lives. They simply saw me as someone who came into their heads as a last resort.

Every day feels like I'm living someone else's story because they want me to. But not because I existed, was recognized, or was acknowledged :) People are so unfair..

Or am I being too cruel to people? Is it hypocritical of me to say all of this? When there are those who have felt the same way about me with their lives?

Lol. Life is so damn messed up. I don't even know.. I don't want to think at all..

[all-alone-he-turns-to-stone]

Sweet Thoughts

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Summary: When her shop is trashed and robbed, Y/n is scared to go to work. Fortunately, a superhero offers help and protection. But those services aren’t free. And one day, he reclaims his payment.

Word Count: 4238

Pairing: Soldier Boy x F!Reader

Warning: SMUT, dub-con, p in v, unprotected sex, manipulation, coercion, grooming, Soldier Boy being an asshole very full of himself, break in, robbery, toxic masculinity

Square: @howbadcanitbebingo Historically Incorrect / @anyfandomdarkbingo​: Grooming

A/n: Hello everyone! So this fic was requested by @lifeissomethingelse​​​! I really wanted to set up this fic in the 1980, but then, historically, it wouldn’t work. There wasn’t really any pastry shop back then, let alone owned by a woman. So for the purpose of this fic and the bingo how bad can it be, I decided… Fuck it! Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts about it! This was also for @writercole​​ millennial challenge with the song (You drive me) Crazy by Britney Spears!

Soldier Boy POV

There was a sweetness in her that was addictive.

Just like his favourite pastry. Sugary, soft, too pretty to consume but yet, it was impossible to not lay his eyes on her and wanting her. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t interested in him, or if she wasn’t available. When Ben laid his eyes on her, it was exactly as if he just discovered the true meaning of hungry. Just looking at her left his mouth watering, his tongue licking his lips slowly as his green eyes detailed her through the window of her shop.

The pastry shop opened a couple of months ago, but never before he noticed. Of course, he smelled the delicious cakes they baked there everytime he walked by. Saw people entering and leaving with their arms full of delicious looking food, a smile stuck on their faces.

But it was the first time he truly saw her.

Soldier Boy was a superhero, so he wasn’t used to getting no as an answer. After all, he was a strong, beautiful man, every woman always looked at him like he was some kind of god. It was barely if they could hold themselves back from getting on their knees in front of him, begging to choke on his cock.

The small bell rang when Ben opened the door to enter the shop. Inside, it smelled even better. It reminded him of when he used to go to his grandma’s house back in the day. Hot summer days when she baked too many pies for the mouths she had to feed. He would always bring the extra back with him and his house would smell of those bakeries for days after the boxes were empty.

His dad hated that. Said eating too much would make him fat, not that it really mattered anyway.

Ben was always a fucking disapointment to him.

“Hello there,” Ben said, walking around the line of customers waiting to be served to speak directly to the girl. Laying an arm against the top of the showcase where the pastry where displayed, he flexed his arms subtly, just enough to show his muscles through his green costume.

“Welcome,” the girl immediately answered, a big, polite and oh so cute and pure smile on her face. Her hands rested against her apron and she took the time to look at him up and down before speaking again. “Please, if you want to purchase something, the end of the line is right there,” she politely gestured towards the door where the last customer was.

That took Ben by surprise. Not only did she deny him immediately after looking at him all over, clearly noticing he was a superhero, but she also asked him in the most polite way to make the line?

There was not an ounce of anger in her voice that betrayed her beautiful face as she turned her attention back to the customer in the front line to take their order.

Soldier Boy puffed his chest, not believing his eyes. “Sorry,” he said, pushing the customer aside to be in front of the girl. Her smile stayed on her face, but he could see and hear the barely perceptible sigh as she realised the customer he was would be troublesome. “Do you know who I am?” Ben grinned, opened his arms and pointed at himself.

“You’re Soldier Boy,” the girl answered, and that only made him grin harder. Of course she knew who he was. Another fan. No one could resist him. “But you need to make the line like everyone else, please,” she added. The sweetness of her tone betrayed her words and for a moment, Ben was sure she was actually asking for his order. 

Soldier Boy stopped before speaking. The girl was looking at him, and he knew everyone else was too. He could hear their heartbeats getting faster with the annoyance growing up.

“Fine,” he grumbled, rolled his eyes and walked to the back where the line ended. 

While he waited, Ben couldn’t believe how he was denied. Minutes passed that allowed him to think of a comeback, something he would tell her that would immediately make her fall on her knees for him. So stuck in his head, his ego clearly more disturbed than he wanted to admit, Ben didn’t even notice it was his turn.

“Soldier Boy, it’s your turn,” the voice of an angel brought him back from his head. As he walked closer to the counter, he cleared his throat, trying to use his most deep and sexy voice he knew women liked. “Thank you so much for waiting. What can I get you?” 

Once again, the sweetness emanating from her took him off guard. How could someone so pretty, so innocent, so sweet and kind, could be alive at the same time as him, in the same town, and he only finds her now? 

Now that he was close to her and that there were no unwanted and annoying people around, he could take the time to better admire her and breathe her all in. The smell of the pastry was nothing compared to her fragrance. She smelled sweet, like honey, like bread baking in the oven, and those smells were probably from working here all day. There was the natural smell of sweat, but he only noticed it thanks to the V bathing in his veins that enhanced his senses. 

Her face was simply perfect. To her eyes, her nose, her lips, everything looked simply delicious.

She was driving him crazy.

“I’ll take your favourite thing in the shop,” he said after a while of admiring her. Then, his signature grin stretched his lips. “And then, I’ll take you. On a date.”

This seemed to take her by surprise, because it took her a couple of seconds to react. Heat went up in her face and she avoided his gaze, clearly embarrassed by the flirtation, like no man ever tried that tactic before.

As she picked up a napkin and a bag, she put a pastry in it, not that Ben cared what it was, and placed it on the counter. “That’ll be fifteen cents please.”

His suits had pockets, it wasn’t the problem. But never before did he have to pay for things he wanted, so of course, Soldier Boy didn’t have anything on him. “I must have forgotten my wallet at home,” he offered her one of his knockout smiles, knowing it would work.

It always did.

“Usually, I would have said to come back with the money, but since you’ve been kind enough to make the line, here,” she smiled, handing him the bag with the pastry. “It’s on the house.”

“Thank you,” Soldier Boy took the bag, making sure to brush his fingers against the soft skin of her hand. “So, when does your shift end?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, implying the meaning of his question that way.

“We close at 8pm,” she answered, and he was sure it meant a yes, but the smile she now had on her face was a sorry smile. A smile that meant no.

No.

No one ever told him no before.

“I’ll pick you up at 8 then,” he said, acting like he didn’t understand.

“Soldier Boy,” the girl interrupted him before he left. “It’s not… I’m really flattered, really, but I am… not interested,” she put it simply.

It was like she took his knife and stabbed him right in the middle of the chest. He was being denied. Refused. She refused him.

It was the first time. And it should’ve made him angry, but it did the opposite. Being denied just increased the want. The need. The challenge.

She would be his no matter what.

“Alright,” Soldier Boy shrugged like it was no big deal. Walking closer again, he whispered his next words. “Be careful, it can become scary at night.” Knowing his words had the effect he wanted on her, the hero stepped back, offered her another grin and started walking towards the exit. “By the way, what’s your name?” He asked just before leaving.

“Y/n,” the girl answered. There was no smile anymore on her face, and his super hearing informed him her heart was now beating faster.

“Well, I’ll see you around, Y/n. Thanks again for the food.”

-

Your POV

It was a long day. Usually, when the shop is that busy, you always have one or two more employees that help, but today was just…

And there had been weird people coming in and out. 

One in particular couldn’t leave your mind. How he talked to you and flirted with you, even asked you on a date, it was still so overwhelming, you had no idea how you managed to stay so calm while telling him no. You had to admit, he was hot as hell, and popular, and a hero, and he asked you out?

It was way past 8pm and you just finished closing everything. Once it was done, you walked to the front door, locked it, and started heading home.

“Crap,” you muttered, looking everywhere in your purse without finding it. You forgot your wallet in the shop. Turning around, you headed back towards the place when suddenly, you heard it.

Windows being broken. Things getting trashed out.

“No no no!” You started running towards the noise, hoping so much it wasn’t your shop that was being vandalised and robbed. But the closer you got, the more your hope disappeared. 

It was a complete disaster. The bay window was broken, and inside, there was glass on the floor, chairs had been broken, and a silhouette was right where the cash register was. Metallic noises informed you he was trying to force it open.

The thief was still there.

Stepping back slowly, you tried to not be seen. Your shop was a mess, but if the person saw there was a witness, it could end very badly for you. But then, something broke under your foot, making way too much noise, and you froze on the spot. The burglar stopped trying to open the register and you swore he was now looking at you. It was too dark to see anything but the frame and the shadow of a person, but you knew his eyes were staring right at you.

Strength finally filled your legs, or maybe it was adrenaline, and you were running away from the scene. Hoping to meet anyone that would be outside so late, anybody to help you.

Glancing back, you checked to see if he was close when your body met something hard and firm. You gasped, your scream stuck in your throat, fear so strong in your body as you thought the burglar caught you. You struggled against the hold of the body, but it was no use. He was stronger.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

You recognized the voice immediately. It wasn’t hard, he left quite the impression when he came by to your shop earlier. You stopped struggling to look up and the tears ran down your cheeks when you saw his face. 

“Help me please,” you begged, hugging him like he was the buoy that would keep you from drowning. “There’s someone in the shop, they…”

“Don’t worry, I’m there,” Soldier Boy affirmed in a steady, strong voice. “I’ll save you.”

-

After that night, you’ve been afraid to leave work alone. Even going to work in bright daylight when there were witnesses everywhere scared you.

Solder Boy didn’t find anyone when he checked your shop that night. But the cost of the reparations were way too high for you, so now, you had to work twice as much. You couldn’t afford being afraid. So of course, when he proposed to protect you and your shop and didn’t ask money for it, you accepted.

That was one of your mistakes. Yes, he refused money. But he never said it was free. 

At first, everything was perfect.

Soldier Boy would be at your door in the morning, waiting for you to be ready to walk with you to work. Sometimes, he would be stopped by fans asking for autographs, which he would always accept with a big grin. It would never make you arrive late, though. 

Then, once you were safe, he would leave you as long as there was someone else with you in the shop. In the evening, he would be back and make the close with you, or simply take a seat and watch you as you cleaned the place. Then he walked you back home.

As days passed, you discovered he was actually really a good guy, doing all of that for you. Or maybe you were simply blinded by the safety that having a superhero such as him as a bodyguard brought you. Because you did feel safe. So safe.

After two weeks, you had enough savings to repair what had been destroyed inside the shop. The front window was the first thing you repaired so you could open again to get customers and sell again. 

And two weeks later, Soldier Boy asked for his payment.

You were at the back that day, in the kitchen. The baker was sick, so you placed your other employee at the front since they were still in training. The breads were slowly getting made, you had dough all over your apron and clothes and were very focused, so much you didn’t notice he was there. You only knew when you felt his hands on your waist.

“Gosh! You scared me,” you sighed as you turned to him. “The shop only closes in 4 hours, you know that, right?” You added when you saw him with his costume and shield on, with the exception of his mask. God, he had beautiful hair underneath, it looked so soft and-

“I protected you almost everyday for two weeks. I think it’s time I get my payment. Or my reward, in this case.”

You looked at him and frowned. Even if Soldier Boy didn’t have his mask on, he still had a mask on his face that hid everything. He showed no emotions.

Expressionless. Staring at you, barely blinking. A small grin at the corner of his mouth.

“Oh, of course,” you nodded, wiping your hands on your apron. “How much do you want?”

If, at first, you felt safe with him, it was totally the opposite right now. As he waited for you to answer, you could feel it, his strong, dominant aura. Soldier Boy wanted something, and you knew he would do anything to get it. 

He scared you.

“I told you, I want no money. I don’t need money,” Soldier Boy answered, stepping closer to you. 

You swallowed hard, fear starting to get stronger inside of you. Stepping back, you forced your gaze to stay anchored in his and not show him how scared you actually were. “What… Do you want, then?”

How naive and innocent of you. You knew what he wanted. It was clear. Obvious. So obvious.

“Since the first time I laid my eyes on you,” Soldier Boy kept getting closer, and you couldn’t move away anymore, trapped between him and the table. “I wanted you. And I always get what I want.”

“Please,” you started to beg, but a finger laid gently on your lips to silence you. Every movement he made was slow. Soft. Calculated. Like he was a predator hunting a poor little scared prey.

“Don’t cry. I won’t force you. This is payment for my services. It is a fair deal. So, be a good girl, turn around and bend over. You’ll love this, I promise.”

You looked into his eyes. His pupils looked so blown out, almost all the green was gone. As he waited for your answer, his fingers stroked your cheek, lowering down to trace your jaw, and settled softly against your throat.

He was right, after all. You owed him. He was protecting you, and protecting your shop. It was only normal to give him what he wanted as payment, right? And after all… It wasn’t like you never thought about it, thought about how it would feel to have sex with the superhero.

So you obeyed.

Soldier Boy pinned you against the table, flour flying around as you tried to hold on against anything. Your face was right next to the bread you were making, and you looked at it while he lifted up your skirt and lowered your underwear. You kept on looking at it as he touched you all over, whispering things like how pretty you were, how soft your skin was and how good it would feel. And you couldn’t deny it no more, it already felt good, the praising, the touching, and despite the trap this actually was, you were turned on.

“Be sure to stay quiet…”

Like you were the most important and precious thing he owned, Soldier Boy went slowly. He held you tight, but not tight enough to hurt. As you felt his length stretching you open, you almost let a moan slip out, but his fingerless gloved hand immediately blocked the noise as he pressed it on your mouth. You understood the assignment and stayed quiet as he bottomed out.

“Good girl, taking me so well… Gonna remove my hand now and I’ll start moving, be sure to stay quiet for me, all right?”

His voice was so rough, it was like sandpaper scraping your skin. Or maybe it was his beard as he kissed your neck, making sure to leave marks everywhere he could. Marking you as his.

You nodded against the table, and then, he started to move.

At first, it was slow, and you managed to stifle your moans by biting on your lips hard enough to hurt. But then, he sped up his thrusts, and it felt so good, you were crying and whimpering under him. Your fist was in your mouth and you were biting it, anything to not make a single noise.

A hand on your throat warned you to do better than this and you clenched around him, trying to make him go slower because you wouldn’t be able to hold back any longer. Soldier Boy redressed your body, your back flush against his torso, your hands barely touching the table anymore. In that position, he was even deeper but couldn’t go as fast. Still, he was deep, completely inside of you, and each thrust was well rough. 

It felt so good. So perfect. All you wanted was to tell him how good it felt and beg. For him to slow down or go faster, you didn’t know anymore. But all that escaped was a gasp as one of your hands rested on his, still on your throat.

Then, you understood why he put you in that position. Because that way, you could see the front of the shop through the small window of the kitchen. Could see all the customers and your employee. If you made any noise, they would hear. Turn their head and see Soldier Boy, balls deep inside of you, fucking you like you were only his toy.

You had no idea why, but that thought turned you on so fucking much. Your legs started shaking, your cunt throbbed and clenched and you closed your eyes, trying so hard to hold back the orgasm that was coming at full speed. Soldier Boy must have known, felt it, because next thing, his hand was on your mouth and he was ramming inside of you faster and deeper, and it felt so good, you came right there and then. Juice of pleasure went down your legs and soaked his pants, you were sure of that. 

But he never slowed down or stopped.

“You’re mine. You understand?” His voice whispered against your ears as his thrusts became uneven, and then you felt it. His cock throbbing inside of you, you could feel it with how deep he was inside of you, and then the ropes of cum filling you up as he came with a roar against your ear.

Exhausted, you could only fall back against the table. More flour flew around under the impact.

Soldier Boy pulled up your underwear, at least he had the decency to dress you up again. “Keep that inside,” he ordered, referring to his cum. His fingers pushed against your entrance above the tissue. “For the rest of the day. If you do that, then I’ll keep protecting you and your shop. Understood?”

“Y/n? We’re gonna need more bread soon!” A voice made from the front of the shop before you could answer. Gathering your last strength, you resumed a normal standing position just before your employee entered the kitchen. “Oh, I see you’ve been busy,” the employee noticed, and a wave of fear and shame drowned you for a second. You clenched around nothing and felt some of his cum leaking in your underwear. You had to be careful or else it would end up spilling through the clothing.

“I.. Uh…” you glanced behind you, but Soldier Boy was gone. “Yeah. Bread is coming, sorry,” you apologised. Your employee nodded and headed back to their post.

That was a close one.

Everyday after that, Soldier Boy came by to collect his payment. Each time, he had another request, or else, he would stop protecting you. At first, the blackmail was upsetting you, of course, you felt betrayed by the hero. But everytime he thrusted inside of you and fucked you to midnight, your head was becoming so fuzzy, you didn’t care at all about the why or how bad the situation actually was.

And then weeks passed, and you didn’t care about it anymore. All you wanted was his cock inside of you. His large, wide and rough hands, everywhere on your body. His scent wouldn’t leave your mind, driving you crazy at the point you had trouble falling asleep. You craved him. You would do anything for him. You needed him so bad.

A couple of weeks later, Soldier Boy had asked you to only wear an apron and work in the kitchen. You did as he told you and started baking donuts while waiting, but to be honest, the excitement was so strong, all you could think about as you made the correct form of the pastry was…

Your empty, leaking hole waiting to be filled.

“Good girl,” his voice reached your ears, and you felt yourself becoming even more aroused just hearing his voice. Hands slapped your ass cheeks and then spread them and you felt him stare at your privacy. Of course it was embarrassing. But you needed him too much to care. “I see you missed me,” he added and without even seeing him, you knew he had a big grin on his face.

Bending you again against the table, Soldier Boy slidded home, where he belonged. His cock felt so good, you moaned softly for only him to hear. 

“You’ve been so good to me, I think I’ll let you in on a little secret,” his thrusts always started slow, just like every time, he was discovering your pussy and wanted to feel every inch of it around his shaft. Taking his sweet time, building up the tension and the pleasure, and then he would ram inside of you until you couldn’t stand up and would see stars. “See,” his torso pressed against your naked back, it hurt a little, but the pleasure was way too strong for you to care. The anticipation of the moment he would fuck you hard and fast and make you cum. “I’m the one that trashed your shop and stole your money.”

That revelation should have given you a reaction. Anger. Betrayal. Fear.

But his hips had sped up, he was fucking you fast now, his grunts could only be heard because his mouth was close to your ear. Your head was becoming fuzzy again, it felt good, and you had to focus everything you had left on not making a sound. “Wh…What do… You mean…” You managed to say between two stifled moans.

“Baby, I'm so into you… You got that something, what can I do?” He said instead of answering. His strong hands squeezed your hips and a slap landed on your ass, almost breaking your lips with the moan that threatened to escape. “No one tells me no. I had to give you a reason…”

You were about to answer when a rougher thrust made you lose your balance and a shy moan escaped your vigilance.

“You drive me crazy… Sweet, sweet little Y/n…”

He manipulated you from the start. Lied to you. Destroyed your shop, created a strong fear in you that would make you dependent of him. And then, when it was time, he reclaimed his payment. And only when you were too deeply addicted to him did he reveal the truth. 

“Tell me you're so into me, that I'm the only one you will see, and I’ll swear you’ll never need anyone else to protect you and satisfy you.”

How could you say no? You couldn’t even think. As he fucked you hard and fast, just like you liked, it was impossible to have coherent thoughts.

And anyway, you were already in too deep.

“I’m… Yours… Always…”

Forever taglist: @nitnat6245​​​ @b3autyfuldisast3r​​​ @eevvvaa​​​​ @fictional-affairs​​​ @wickedinspirations​​​ @awkward-and-indecisive​​​

Soldier Boy Taglist: @akshi8278​​

[juletheghoul]

Domum (Part 2)

I am dedicating this to you @221bshrlocked, I really hope you enjoy this second instalment of Vamp Boyfriend Max and please know that whenever I return to this world, I'm thinking of you.

There will be a part three.

Max Phillips x F!Reader

Pairing: Max x F!Reader

Word Count: 5.5K

Warnings: **TRIGGER WARNING** Max is a vampire so there will be blood talk, some of it sexual in nature, implied violence (nothing super graphic), language, Smut 18+, PIV sex (wrap it up), slight dirty talk, Oral-female receiving, supernatural themes, descriptions of gore

Reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist Part 1

---------

“And just when did you forsake me hm?” You stared at Ambrose, curled up and purring loudly against Max's chest on your bed. He seemed to choose Max over you half the time and you couldn’t help but be a little jealous. He stared at you with his eyes half closed, blinking slowly and you sighed at the image of your two favourite boys in your bed.

“Fine, let Max feed you then.” You were only half kidding.

“Jealousy doesn’t become you, my love.” His eyes were closed but he smiled, imagining the look on your face.

“You shush, you’re only smug because he favours you.” He laughed at your tone and made a show of kissing Ambrose on his little face and you rolled your eyes. He set him down onto the floor - against Ambrose's wishes- and pulled you into bed. “I have to go to the market-” he cut you off with a kiss. It was so hard to push him away when he kissed you like that. When his hands held your face so tenderly.

“I would like for you to stay, stay in bed with me.” he kissed your neck and you felt the ghost of his fangs caressing your pulse point. Always letting you give consent before piercing your skin. You shivered slightly but you couldn’t give in. Giving in always meant you weren’t getting anything done. It took a great deal of self control to slip out of his grip and you quickly pulled away, leaving him in order to gather the clothing you had mended.

“If I let you carry on I'll waste the day.” you scolded him without any real anger.

“Waste? You call what we do a waste?” he laid on his back, arm over his eyes in mock distress. You could see the little smile at the corner of his mouth.

“You know full well what I meant - I need to bring these things to the market or Mrs. Johnson will have my head. I will be back soon, and then we can do whatever you want.” He perked up at the last bit, like you knew he would.

“Anything…?” He had pure mischief in his eyes and you blushed slightly at the implication.

“Yes - within reason I don’t think I need to clarify.” You approached the bed and he hastily got up to sit at the edge, making space for you between his legs. You stood and stared down at him - he looked up at you like you were the very air he breathed and you wondered for a brief moment how you could be so lucky.

“I’ll be waiting for you my love, like always.” he spoke with pure devotion as he hugged you around the middle. You ran your fingers lovingly through his hair- pulling it back lightly to kiss him on the mouth.

“You better.” You smiled at him, then made your way out.

------------------------------------------------------

You made it to the market quickly and found Mrs Johnson stomping her foot impatiently and you braced yourself for an onslaught but she cheered up when she caught sight of you. She was one of the nicer villagers and you had a good relationship with her.

“There you are, girl - I was beginning to worry. Let me see.” She took the garments you had carefully folded up out of your arms and inspected your work. A frown of concentration on her face as she inspected a big tear you had mended. “Perfect - as I knew it would be. Thank you sweetling, here - for your trouble.” she handed you a small purse of coins and you took it thankfully.

“My thanks - I am always available for work.” You both said your goodbyes and you stopped to stock up on more thread. You needed new needles as well and you were perusing for more materials when you heard someone calling you. It was the young girl you’d helped almost a year ago, you had learned her name was Sarah and since then she had taken a shine to you. Treating you like an older sister and you regarded her in much the same manner. The little sister you never had.

“What is all the commotion?” You raised your eyebrows at her, she was breathless with excitement.

“I knew you hadn’t heard! There are new people in the village! They came in last night!” The smile on her face was half wild with excitement, times like this you realized how young she was and it always endeared her to you.

“Okay Sarah, take a deep breath and tell me.” You half laughed as you paid for your things and walked through town with her. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet as she grabbed your arm excitedly, telling you about the band of thespians, entertainers traveling the country; putting on shows and plays. “Singers and bards travel through here from time to time-“ she cut you off.

“Yes but never this many! Seems to be a large company - they’ll finally put that playhouse to use. Isn’t it exciting?” She smiled brightly at you but you had a bad feeling. It wasn’t the same as when Max came into town, this was stronger and it left a bad taste in your mouth. “Look! That’s them!” She whispered excitedly into your ear.

There was a group of men making their way into the big tavern in town and it felt like someone had dumped ice water down the back of your dress. There was something wrong.

Max was there in an instant, Sarah didn’t notice him until he spoke.

“Good morning Sarah.” He spoke with a neutral tone but you knew that he was anything but relaxed. He usually stayed inside during the day and his body language gave him away, to you at least.

“Hello Max! Did you hear?” You rolled your eyes, knowing she would explain the whole thing over again. He had a smile on his face as she spoke but it wasn’t filled with the warmth you had become accustomed to.

This was a mask.

“Newcomers, that’s interesting.” You could see him scanning the outside of the tavern with a critical eye. He sensed whatever you had sensed, and he sensed it all the way from the cottage.

When Sarah left he spoke in hushed tones, you had never seen him like this.

“There is something here. Something hungry.” To everyone who passed by you were a courting couple taking a stroll through the village square but he was unsettled.

“I felt it too, made my hair stand on end.” You pressed yourself up against him, there was a sudden chill in the air and you weren’t exactly sure whether it was his words or the temperature.

“I don’t like this, it seems familiar but I can’t quite place it. I need to find out what it is and either destroy it or get it out of town. I don’t want anyone getting hurt.” You smiled to yourself, remembering his attitude towards the town when he first arrived. Things had changed for you since then, for the most part anyway.

There were still villagers who thought you were the devil incarnate but most of them had embraced you. Sarah had advocated for you and with her being the daughter of prominent members of your community, others had followed. You had a steady stream of customers who came to you as a seamstress, and an even bigger one for your other talents.

The townspeople were wary of Max, everyone except Sarah - she treated him as an extension of you; and she loved you.

He had embraced the villagers, promising you that he would protect this place. That he would protect anything you loved. You both spoke about it as you made your way home and you decided that you would go into town that night to investigate. Go to the tavern and get a drink to see if either of you could find out just what exactly had blown into town.

-

The tavern was unusually full, it seemed everyone wanted to be out amongst the newcomers. You smiled at Jasper, the old barkeep, you had helped his wife with pain in her legs a few months ago. He always had a smile for you now.

“I will find us a table, Jasper favours you.” Max whispered in your ear and you laughed. You asked the grizzled old man for a glass of wine and some cider, he didn’t let you pay.

The two of you sat in a dark little corner of the tavern, keeping an eye on everyone and chatting idly, Max drinking his wine and you nursing your cider. The two of you waited a couple of hours but it was for naught. Nothing happened - although it was pleasant to be out with him, neither of you sensed anything dangerous. Chalking it up to a loss, you made your way home.

The night was pleasant and you walked leisurely through the woods towards the cottage, the two of you arm in arm - enjoying the clear night sky. You were looking at the moon, seeing it’s position - full moon in a few days you thought to yourself when Max pulled you off the path suddenly. You shrieked in surprise but you quickly recovered when he pushed you up against a large tree. You weren't too far off the path, someone walking by would have to know you were there in order to see you.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” You spoke in mock outrage, he laughed into your skin. He had you caged against the trunk; his face was buried in your neck and he was kissing every inch he could reach.

“I think you know, I believe you told me we could do whatever I wanted this morning.” He lifted your leg, hoisting it high on his hip as he ground into you. You let out a sigh at the feel of him, hard enough to feel through his trousers at your core. The bark of the tree was scratching at the back of your neck, the little bit of pain adding to the pleasure.

“I think I want to hear you say it.” Your voice was breathy, your fingers running through his hair, you guided his face towards yours, you wanted to kiss him. You wanted his tongue in your mouth and his hands on your body. You wanted him closer, always closer. He smiled into the kiss.

“I want to fuck you against this tree my love. I want to feed from you while you cum, I want to taste your pleasure, I want to love you. Will you let me love you?” He watched your mouth as he spoke, his words exciting you so much you ached. So much that you moaned and felt your sex dripping for him. Your heart was pounding, even your blood wanted him.

“Yes, always…” You breathed it out but he swallowed your words. He reached between you to pull your skirts up past your hips, he became impatient with all the fabric and when he reached your undergarments he ripped them roughly. The act excited you, causing another wave of slick to drip out of you and onto your thigh. He knelt in front of, looking up like he was in prayer.

He lifted your leg and draped it over his shoulder and he licked at your core hungrily. You felt his urgency, he sucked the bundle of nerves into his mouth with a passion that had you frantically clutching at his hair, it had you grinding into his mouth and it had you almost screaming. Your climax crashed over you like a tidal wave and he drank it down, refusing to pull away until you pushed him. He started undoing his trousers, pulling himself out as he stood.

His eyes were black with lust, as he roughly lifted you against the tree- wrapping both your legs around his hips; lifting you as if you weighed nothing.

“Undo your blouse for me sweet girl, I’m going to bite you where you like it.” he held you against the tree as you hastily undid your corset enough to pull your blouse down. You held tightly onto him as he reached down to guide himself into your wet heat. Both of you groaned when he was fully seated inside you.

It felt better every time. It was bliss, it was ecstasy.

You moaned as he drove into you, the scratching of the tree behind you sharpening the pleasure of his thrusts. You saw his fangs elongate and felt him getting frantic. He wouldn’t last long. You pushed his head down to your breast and he bit it rougher than usual, you could hear the sound of your joining and it was filthy, it was obscene out in the open like this but you didn’t care. The pleasure building with his bite and your blood in his mouth.

He licked your wound closed and moved to your other breast - you saw the brief anguished look of pleasure on his face as he bit your nipple. It hit you again. It was so intense you seized up almost painfully, screaming at the intensity of it. Your cunt clenched around him and he came with a growl.

He set you down, his grip softening, he was gentle again and he licked your wound closed. This was the roughest he’d ever been with you and you enjoyed it far more than you would have ever thought.

He was pulling your shirt back up and straightening your skirts as you caught your breath, he had a little frown on his face.

“What’s wrong?” You touched his face, bringing his attention to you.

“I’m afraid I got carried away, I’m sorry if I was too rough with you.” He looked chastened, he hissed when he saw the scratches on your shoulders and neck from the tree. You laughed lightly but he didn’t join in.

“Max, I thoroughly enjoyed that. I will heal. I can draw myself a special bath and I will be better in a few hours. Please, put it out of your mind my love.” You hugged him to you and he relented.

-

He was quiet as you made your way home and although he had dropped the subject, you knew he felt guilty. You appreciated the sentiment but you weren’t made of glass.

Once you got home, you had him fill the big kettle as you gathered a few things.

When he returned you had him pull the big tub into the middle of the room, he did so without comment. Once the water was hot enough, he helped you fill the tub and you put a few things into the water; dried herbs and flowers that would help relax you. He watched as you moved about, picking a little bit of this and a pinch of that.

The steam was lovely and it smelled like lavender and wildflowers. You stripped off your clothes and ordered him to do the same but he didn’t right away, you got into the tub and raised your eyebrows at him. He smiled and stripped, joining you in the warm water.

“Here, rub a little of this wherever the skin is irritated.” You handed him a little jar full of a thick oily paste. He obeyed and you felt his big warm hands massaging it into your skin. He was thorough and quiet as he did what you asked, the two of you enjoying the intimacy and the warmth.

He kissed your shoulder when he was done and you laid on his chest between his legs. He washed you gently as you relished his sturdy warmth behind you.

“Max, can I ask you something?” The question popped into your mind and you had to get it out.

“Yes my love?” He was washing your hair, massaging your scalp carefully as you relaxed.

“You told me once that you’ve only ever turned one person, what happened to them?” You asked it casually, you were curious and he never spoke about his past. You felt him tense for a moment before he continued with his actions.

“Do you really wish to know?” His voice sounded a little hesitant, you wanted to know, but only if he wanted to tell you.

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to, I was merely curious.” You meant it, whatever happened before either of you met- it didn’t matter. Not now that you had each other.

He carefully poured water on you, washing the soap out of your hair in silence, taking the utmost care to not get any of it in your eyes. You thought the conversation was done but he eventually spoke.

“I’ll tell you one day, not today - allow me to tell you in my own time.” He pressed his face into your neck, kissing your ear and shoulder, his actions soothing the hurt he imagined his response was causing. He was entitled to his silence. You turned to face him, looking up from where your face was pressed against his chest.

“You don’t have to explain, if it hurts too much or if it’s something you don’t like discussing. It’s okay for you to keep things to yourself.” You smiled at him, letting him know there was no double meaning, you meant every word. He pulled you up to kiss you and you felt his devotion to you, felt him saying what you meant to him without words.

You both sat in the bath quietly for a long time.

---

A couple of days went by and nothing, no hide nor hair of whatever the two of you had sensed. You were beginning to think that maybe you’d gotten lucky, something passing by near enough for the both of you to pick up on it but not actually staying.

You should be so lucky.

There had been talk in the market of a beast, a monster ripping through the Robertson farm just outside town. Killing a few of his sheep and almost all of his chickens. The carnage was said to be disturbing and the bad taste returned with a vengeance, rocks settling in your stomach. This is not good.

Once you got back home and explained what happened to Max he made it a point to go to the Robertson farm to see if he could get a sense of what it could be. It wasn’t long before he was back - frowning deeply.

“I cannot get a feel for it, it’s not another of my kind that’s for sure. This feels more primal, more violent. I need to get closer.” You could see his frustration, it was bothering him that he couldn’t fix it.

--

Later on that night, Max got his wish.

You were laying in bed, curled up in each other when something flickered across Max's face. He blurred out of bed with how fast he moved, stopping to hastily put his trousers on. You felt it before you could ask him what was wrong, Ambrose shot out of bed and bounded for the door. He was hissing loudly, his hackles raised higher than you’d ever seen.

“Stay there.” His voice was iron, no room for argument. He stalked over to the door and listened, you heard it all the way from the bed; something massive was outside your cottage. It pressed against the door lightly and you could hear the gouging of the wood, whatever it was - it had claws.

Your heart was in your throat as Ambrose hissed and snarled, you quietly got up to wrap your blanket around you. Max silently moved to your kitchen to look out the window. Ambrose stopped hissing and ran towards your bed.

“It’s gone.” He didn’t move from the window and you tentatively approached him, needing his warmth to reassure you. He instantly rubbed at your arms to calm you. “You’re safe my love, nothing will happen to you. Good news is, I think I figured out what we’re dealing with. It’s a werewolf.”

You knew there had to be other creatures in this world, you yourself were a witch and you were committed to a vampire but you were at a loss for words. You would have laughed, had he not had that look on his face.

“It came straight here, it must sense us in it’s altered state.” He was pacing the room, thinking hard as you sat silent at the table. Shivering even though you had the blanket wrapped around you. You were trying to think about everything you knew about werewolves, you knew there must be something about them in your mothers notes, where were they again? You got up and put on a shift before digging through the big trunk tucked into the corner of the room.

He came over when you yelled in triumph, pulling out your mothers big leatherbound notebook.

He was silently watching you as you flipped through the pages, looking for any insight and then you saw it - she had a whole page on them. Some of the points you already knew, that you needed pure silver to ward them off. They were vicious and their bite was a curse. When they were in their animal state, they were purely primal. They would tear apart their own mothers without a second thought. Aversion to silver & iron, wolfsbane - would make sense as to why it only gauged at the wood of your door. You had fortified your protection once more after Max had come in, leaving out anything that would stop him and him alone.

“Tonight was the last night of the full moon, we have a month to prepare. We have to find out who it is, and destroy them. They cannot be cured, I hope no one gets hurt tonight.” You spoke to him as you put the book on the table. He listened intently and the both of you came up with a plan to go into the market and get as close as you could to the newcomers.

“Hopefully they'll leave before the next full moon, we should be so lucky.” He spoke as he blew out the candles you’d lit, the both of you getting back into bed. You whispered your plans to each other, vowing to warn Sarah. You thought of little trinkets you could make, talismans of protection to the people closest to you. You hoped with everything in you that you wouldn’t wake up to bad news.

---

No such luck.

The two of you decided to head into town together the next day, and there were whispers of a great beast everywhere you went. Several people had seen a huge mass stalking around the woods, luckily no one had been hurt. You did notice a few of the more unfriendly villagers giving you hard glares and scowls as you made your way through, you felt Maxs grip tighten slightly at the open show of hostility.

“We’re trying to protect them.” he spoke as you tried to calm him, putting your hand on his chest. He took it and held it there as you walked through. You caught sight of Sarah and she rushed over to you.

“I wanted to warn you- a couple of townsfolk were saying that this has something to do with you. I said that there was absolutely no way - that you’re a good person but I didn’t like how they spoke.” She was visibly upset, imagining her defending you pulled at your heartstrings.

“Oh sweetling, thank you - we’ll be okay, they’re just scared.” You hugged her tightly, trying your best to reassure her. “I’ve made you something, I brought it with me in case I saw you, put this on and don’t take it off. I’ve made one for each of your parents - this should protect you. Please make sure you don’t go out after dark. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” You spoke to her as you handed her the talismans you made. She smiled shyly and put on the necklace.

“I won’t take it off, please - be careful. Both of you.” She hugged you tightly and left quickly.

----

For the next couple of weeks both you and Max made it a point to get close to the newcomers. Thinking that maybe if you got close enough you would be able to sense it but it was for naught. They kept fastidiously to themselves, the only time you saw them was when they performed. Even then - Max couldn’t get a sense of who the danger was. You had learned from your mother’s book that it would be difficult, that the days before and after a full moon - this person could appear to be perfectly human.

——

The full moon was coming in just a few days and the tension between you and a few townspeople was palpable. Even before Sarah and other people had embraced you, things were never this bad.

You studied the book constantly, using your mothers knowledge to create a weapon that would be able to kill the beast. It would have been better to cure it but it was for naught, there was none to be found. The biggest fear would be that someone else would get bitten, spreading the curse to someone else.

Well, not the biggest fear - the biggest fear would be that someone would get killed.

——

“What do you propose we do? This is the best course of action. You know that.” He was right, as angry and upset as you were, you had to admit he was right.

“I don’t like it Max. I should be out there with you.” Your voice was soft, you were trying to argue but he looked so worried.

“I know. I cannot focus if there’s a chance you might get hurt. If something were to happen to you, I would never forgive myself- you know it makes sense- I can cover more ground without you.” He walked over to you, untangling your arms to wrap them around his neck.

He had a way of making you crack, of burrowing under your skin; into your heart. You couldn’t help but press your ear to his chest.

“I have to know you’re safe, if we both get hurt then we’re useless.” He pressed his lips to your temple.

“Very well, please be careful.” You held him tightly, as tight as you could and he let you.

---

It felt horrible to sit around and worry.

You made tea, you flipped through the book absentmindedly, it was almost a compulsion. Ambrose could sense your anxiety and he plopped down on your lap, purring loudly against your skin.

Max insisted on patrolling every night of the full moon. He was determined to destroy the beast and have your lives return to normal and you couldn’t blame him, but you couldn’t sleep until he walked through your door safe and sound. When he eventually did you would nearly tackle him to the ground.

The relief wasn’t to last though.

He burst through your door on the last night of the full moon. He was covered in blood and he held a body in his arms.

Your heart seized up, Sarah was limp in his arms. You were frantic, you could see her throat had been ripped open and you held the scream in your throat. He was speaking to you as he laid her down on the table.

“My love, I need you to focus. Is there anything in your book on how to save her?” You took a deep breath as he spoke, opening the book to the familiar pages with trembling hands.

There’s so much blood

“There’s no way to undo the curse Max, if she doesn’t die - she’ll be one of them.” The tears were flowing now, she was so young, so full of life. You walked over to her, brushing the hair out of her face. Her skin was like ivory and far too cold. Her breaths were shallow and the blood was flowing slowly. Her heart was pumping her life away.

“Can you save her?” You knew he didn’t like talking about it, but it might be the only chance she had. His eyes were on you and you could see the pain in them; inner turmoil bubbling up.

“My love, it would not be her choice and she might hate me for it. Hate you for making it for her.” His words were knives to your already broken heart.

“Please Max, I cannot lose her.” You were sobbing then, voice paper thin and up to your elbows in her blood. Her ragged breaths must have been an agony. She was bleeding into her lungs.

“Are you prepared to deal with her scorn?” His voice was cloud-soft, he didn’t want to lose her either.

“Yes.” You spoke to him but you kept your eyes on her. “Whatever it takes to save her, please.”

He changed her.

——-

You waited for her to change with baited breath. It took much longer than anticipated and you almost chewed your nails to the bone. Max fared no better, he paced the cottage while the transformation occurred and you could feel his fear. Whatever had happened in his past weighed heavy on his mind while you waited. You asked him what happened to distract him.

Max had destroyed the creature, it was one of the newcomers - he’d been taken with Sarah and they had stepped out together when he changed and in her fear; her talisman had been lost.

When you saw her skin stitching itself back together you breathed a sigh of relief, your body was a tense knot and you felt your muscles loosen slightly as her breathing regulated, as her body repaired itself.

“She will be thirsty when she wakes.” He whispered, sensing her starting to come to.

When she woke she was disoriented and Max stood between the two of you with his arms up, his body a wall between Sarah and you. He held her firmly in his grasp and spoke in clear sentences.

“Sarah sweetling, can you hear me?” He was staring into her wild eyes, for a moment it was as if she didn’t recognize either of you but a few seconds later you saw her soften, saw her take you both in.

“Max? What happened? What happened to me?” She was looking at her hands, her eyes darted around rapidly and you could see the fear.

“Sarah - focus on my voice. I need you to listen.” He came closer to her, very slowly, approaching her like one would a wild animal. He explained what had happened to her and what he’d done. What he was, what she now was as well. She looked at you with fear in her eyes and Max almost broke. This was what he’d been afraid of.

“Am I going to be okay?” She was terrified and you wanted to hug her but Max wouldn’t let you.

“You’re going to be fine - come, I will help you and once you're fed I will bring you back here and we will talk.” He turned to kiss you quickly, his unconscious need to feel you close was as much to reassure him as it was to reassure you. “Draw a bath for her my love, she will want to get clean when we get back.” With that they both left.

----

It took days for her to adjust, Max walking her through the change. His fear that she would hate you both never left him and you could hear the silent apologies in the way he treated her. The way he guided her through everything like a father would a favoured child.

At first she was afraid, terrified of herself and her new abilities but it didn’t last. She took to it well. Her young age, which he thought would be a hindrance - actually worked in her favour.

She had a long way to go until she had the same level of control as Max, but both of you would be there to help her.

To be continued...

---

Tag list: @frannyzooey @foli-vora @danniburgh @sambucky21 @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @ezrasbirdie @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl20 @sleep-tight1 @softdindjxrin @wheresarizona @sherala007 @marydjarin @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @lori-tovar @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @greeneyedblondie44 @maxwell--lord @princessxkenobi @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi @dihra-vesa @gaiuswrites @stevie75 @sweet-creature98 @readsalot73 @pedrostories @tobealostwanderer @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @goldielocks2004 @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @bellaorisa @hellovanessax @magikfanatic @frankiecatfish @mrs-ghuleh @pedritoispunk @librariantothejedi @studythoreauly @missswriter @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @pintsizemama @mswarriorbabe80 @a-trial-run-on-paper @giizhkens-cedar @la-le-lu @chickadee-djarin @dobbyjen @rosiefridayrogersunday @ajeff855 @anaaaispunk @johnsrevelation @the-witty-pen-name @zombiesnips-blog @quica-quica-quica @sarahjkl82-blog @fan-of-encouragement @queenofthecloudss @mandosmistress @deadhumourist @felicisimor @tuskens-mando

[forthegothicheroine]

The King in Yellow, 1949

Much of this story is true.  Warnings in the tags.

When I had pneumonia in my early teens, my mother brought home an armful of VHS tapes from the library to alleviate my misery.  Knowing my snobbish preferences, she had grabbed copies of whatever she found in black and white.  I remember something musical that I suspect was Busby Berkeley, I remember Mildred Pierce (a bad choice, as it turned out- the plot includes a young girl dying of pneumonia), and I remember a period piece called The King.  I faded in and out of consciousness while I watched it, but it soothed me while I was awake and filled my fever dreams with sparkling images.  I could never find it at the library again, nor at Hollywood Video or even early Netflix (once my father got the subscription service where you could order practically every DVD.)  It was a bit odd that it seemed to be so obscure, given that it starred old Hollywood legend Ingrid Bergman (and, although I initially forgot it, Marlene Dietrich.)  But even big stars make films that fall by the wayside in public memory, and it seemed that this was one of them.  Google was no help, and at the time that was that.

I didn’t see the film again until I was watching Turner Classic Movies at my grandparents’ house.  I loved watching that channel with them while filling out the crossword puzzle that came in their little TCM catalogue (all of it based on movie trivia, the only kind of crossword puzzle I’ve ever been any good at.)  I recognized a certain scene where Bergman stood on a balcony, looking sadly at the moon.  Her face had an expression of unutterable melancholy, and the crescent moon reflected in each of her eyes, giving the impression of two moons in one sky.  I had very little time to catch up on what I’d missed before we had to go meet my cousins at the local Italian restaurant.  I knew logically that the movie would be long over by the time we returned, but I turned on the channel anyway.  Of course it had moved on to the lesser known Alfred Hitchcock film Stage Fright, but then I heard Marlene Dietrich sing before I could reach the remote to turn the tv off in disappointment.  I knew that I had heard her sing before, and I knew it had been in The King.

Dietrich’s singing often comes across as somewhat campy today, with its Rs pronounced as Ws and it’s up-and-down tone.  Madeline Kahn parodied it brilliantly in Blazing Saddles, such that it was a bit of a disappointment when I finally saw Dietrich’s western Destry Rides Again and found it to be lifeless and inconsistent next to the parody.  Still, we remember her voice for a reason, and when I remembered it that night, I knew that its sardonic loneliness had rung through The King and made me shiver in my dreams.

The TCM schedule didn’t list The King in its time slot, but something else.  If I had taken down the name, maybe it would have helped me find it.  Sometimes the same movie runs under multiple names.

I didn’t see the film all the way through for many years, after I graduated college.  I had found a web page that listed public domain film noir, including one called The Masked Guest.  The website described it as a costume noir, and I curiously clicked on the link.  Once I took in the credits running on the youtube window, my eyes grew wide and I did not move from my place on the bed until the movie had run its course.

The credits did indeed list it as The Masked Guest, but I recognized the strange repeating design on the title cards.  They told me that in addition to starring Dietrich and Bergman, it was directed by Fritz Lang, and a character called The King was credited to “???”  (I hadn’t seen that kind of credit since the first Karloff Frankenstein.)  When the King finally appears on screen, though, it is unmistakably Orson Welles’s voice that booms out from behind his elaborate costume.

Here are the things I understand about The King, or The Masked Guest, or The Man in Yellow, or any other title I’ve found for it on public domain archive searches.  Dietrich and Bergman play princesses named Cassilda and Camilla, respectively.  Though Dietrich’s accent is German and Bergman’s is Swedish, they blend together to give the film the impression of being set somewhere on the map that I can’t quite find.  The scenery and camera angles are very Freudian, with a great deal of archways and pillars.

The first act of The King involves frankly dull romantic plotlines, and the only thing that really saved it was the feeling that the suitors were supposed to be insipid, a suspicion lended credence by the fact that the love interests were listed so low on the credits.  Dietrich is the scandalous sister and Bergman is the responsible one, though each takes on aspects of the other as the film goes on.  Dietrich sings her song at a party, dressed in a fake 17th century gown and leaning against a piano.  Although just a moment ago she had been laughing and joking with her gentleman friends, her song takes an abruptly serious tone (not seductive, not sentimental) as she tells the story of a city lost to time and memory.  Bergman slips away from the party and onto the balcony, where we see that wonderful shot of the moon in her eyes.  Is she mourning?  Is she longing?

Dietrich cuts off the song by abruptly screaming “Not on us, King!  Not on us!”  She flees the party weeping and shaking, and from there on the film goes mad.

Though uncommon, it is not unknown for movies to switch between black and white and color, done most famously in The Wizard of Oz.  The film The King recalls here is the silent Phantom of the Opera, which had a masqued ball scene tinted in shades of red and green that tried to provide a whole spectrum of color.  The effect is even odder in the masqued ball scene in The King- the only color that appears is yellow, highlighting things like candlelight, Dietrich’s hair, a passing gown, a vase of tulips.  It also highlights one particular masked figure, whose expressionless mask was decorated with a black pattern against a sickening yellow canvas- the same pattern I had seen in the opening credits.  The color of his costume causes him to stand out from the crown even when he is far off in the background, just one head among many others.  It must have taken long and painstaking hours of work to color in every frame.

Dietrich still seems broken up days after her song, though Bergman tries to coax her into joining the dance.  Finally, at midnight, Dietrich goes out to face the party, but only to demand that every guest remove their mask.  The yellow man with a voice that once warned America about a Martian invasion tells her that he wears no mask.  Bergman reacts with disbelief, but Dietrich starts laughing like a woman unhinged.  As she laughs, the yellow hue seeps out of the King’s clothing and face- if that really is his face- and begins to color the entire ballroom crowd.  I think that what follows is bloodshed, but if there is any carnage (doubtful under the Production Code censorship), the blood must be tainted yellow and splashed across the camera like daubs of paint.  Dietrich’s laughing face is doubled and tripled on screen until it dissipates, but even when it has faded offscreen, it feels as if her ghost continues to watch the proceedings.  

By the end of the scene (filled with German Expressionist camera angles and mad violin screeching), only Bergman remains alive, cowering behind a grandfather clock.  It does not hide her for long.  The King steps towards her and extends his hand.  Reluctantly, but with a fatalistic expression, Bergman takes his hand.  They walk away together hand in hand.  The screen shifts back into black and white, and then the credits roll before we can get a good look at all the bodies in the scene.  The credits say it was based on a play called The King in Yellow, although Raymond Chandler of all people apparently had a hand in the screenplay.

As I said, that’s what I think I understand.  It’s an oddly experimental art film for the era, and it may be awaiting rediscovery by the film festival crowd.  I feel as if I alone know about it, though that obviously isn’t true.  It is my little secret; I tell myself that my husband doesn’t need me to show it to him, it would be too odd for his taste.  I’ve rewatched it many times, even if it seems like each time I search for it I have to find a different video platform or torrent.  Naturally, no subscription site has it available.  Maybe I am the last person who will ever watch it.  Maybe no one will ever think to look for it again after me, and it will be completely forgotten.

When I was hospitalized, they let me use my laptop at night before I went to sleep (no power cord, though, in case I tried to hang myself.)  I found a youtube link for The Man in Yellow, and I watched it every night.  It wasn’t a soothing sort of movie, but having it in my mind all day and then watching it in the evening allowed me to think as opposed to crying endlessly while the other patients shot me awkward looks.  I clutched the childhood stuffed animals my mother brought me when she visited, and I always held them extra tight when the masquerade scene started.

I watched the movie when I had to move away from my beloved San Francisco.  I watched the movie when I lost the last of my grandparents.  I watched the movie when a doctor unwisely took me off my medication and I couldn’t manage to eat for a month.  I watched the movie when the whole world got sick and we all locked ourselves away from each other.  I don’t mind that I don’t entirely know what it means.  I don’t mind the nightmares.  In the hospital they kept telling us about mindfulness exercises, and maybe the fact that I can focus on every aspect of the film so closely that all else falls away is the reason I keep coming back to it.  I’m being mindful.  I’m not letting any stray thoughts invade my head.  I’m just watching and waiting for the next beat of every scene, leading inexorably to that yellow-stained bloodbath.

Streaming media doesn’t last forever, and each time I find The King, I worry that it will be the last time I ever can find it.  My efforts to download it have so far been unsuccessful, odd considering that it is in the public domain.

When I watch The King, I am once again a child in my bedroom being cared for in the throes of agonizing sickness.  I am once again sitting on the couch with my grandparents in front of the tv, both of them alive and lucid again.  I am once again in the hospital, all alone except for my stuffed animals and the staff trying to keep me alive.  The film reflects in my eyes like the crescent moon in Ingrid Bergman’s gaze.  It sings to me.

I am determined to find a way to obtain The King under any name so that I never have to worry about losing it.  During some of the worst times in my life, it is the only thing that has kept me sane.

[jungshookz]

miss cee pd i have a request!!!! how about e2l tae x y/n but they're in law school and they're always arguing and debating inside and outside of the classroom and tae being a little shit is like "you wanna kiss me so bad" and they both don't realise that there's mistletoe above them which jimin put because he was tired of watching them constantly argue and wanted to fiZzle the tension hehe and then they KITH,, i hope this isn't too long aha

➺ pairing; kim taehyung x reader

➺ genre; sfw!! enemies to lovers!! everyone’s in law school!! mostly y/n and taehyung bickering with each other and wanting to jump each other’s bones at the same time

➺ wordcount; 4.3k

➺ what to expect; “don’t flatter yourself. i would rather throw myself into oncoming traffic than kiss you, kim taehyung.”

                                     »»————-　❄　————-««

“-now, the particular case study that was assigned to our group involves a civil action for medical negligence and a criminal prosecution for gross negligence manslaughter, which means that there are seven elements that we need to hit when we’re acting out our simulation next class,” you explain, flipping to the next page of your notebook with a flick of your wrist, “firstly, the client - jimin - must be interviewed so that we may determine the facts that surround the claim/prosecution. secondly, we need to draft witness statements - from hoseok and namjoon - and assess the legal efficacy of said statements. thirdly, we must assess the propriety of police interrogation from officer jungkook of the defend-”

you pause when a crumpled piece of paper lands by your left foot and you clear your throat quietly before stepping over it and continuing to pace back and forth at the front of the classroom

your eyes skim over your scribbled words as you try to relocate your place

…

ah!

here we are

“-ant, seokjin, through all transcripts along with the custody record. fourthly, we move on to assessing the reports that have been produced by the forensic experts-”

another balled-up piece of paper hits your foot and your head immediately snaps upwards from your book before you twist around to face the room

“would you cut that out, please?” you snap, already feeling your blood pressure starting to rise from a single glance at taehyung’s smug face

“what? i didn’t know how else to get your attention!” he hums, his arm dangling in the air with a floppy wrist, “my arm’s been up for the past three minutes, and you would’ve known that if you didn’t have your nose buried deep in your book.”

the reminder that you wouldn’t last a day in prison keeps you from lunging forward to wrap your hands around taehyung’s neck and you press your lips together to stop yourself from saying anything too crass

the last thing you need is for some professor to walk past the classroom while you’re cussing up a storm

your self-control has really been put to the test ever since you met taehyung

after all this time, you still don’t know what the guy’s deal is

he’s been a pain in your ass since day one

and for what??

for WHAT?!

at first you just thought that being a complete prick was just his weird version of being charismatic, but then you realised that he wasn’t being charming at all and he was really, truly, genuinely being a straight-up asshole

and, for the record, you’ve tried several times in the past to try to make things better but nothing’s worked

you said that he looked nice in his suit = he told you to stop looking at him like a piece of meat

you asked him how he did on the midterm exam = he told you that it was his right to keep that piece of information private and that you were being a snake by even asking about it

you said happy birthday to him = he said, and you quote, “yeah. it was until you got here.”

the point is, you’ve waved many white flags of surrender and extended many, many olive branches to no avail

at this point you’re pretty sure taehyung just gets off on being a jerk to you

and it’s not fair because it’s literally just you that he picks on constantly

at first you thought that maybe he was just threatened by your presence because you made it pretty clear from day one that you weren’t here to play around

powerful women are intimidating!

you totally get it.

…but then you overheard him offering rosé some studying tips and you even saw him help wendy carry her books for her and everyone knows that rosé and wendy are two of the smartest girls in the class, so why wasn’t he threatened by them?

...

the point is, he doesn’t treat anyone else in the class like this except for you and you can’t seem to figure out why!

what makes it even more frustrating is the fact that his stupid face is very nice to look at, so whenever he’s being mean to you, your dumb girl hormones drown out the sound of his rich, honey-like voice and place floating pink hearts around his head instead

“i’m so sorry i wasn’t paying attention to you, mr. kim.” you force out before gesturing to the notebook cradled in the crook of your arm, “see, all my notes are in here and i’m just trying to make sure that i don’t miss out on any details,” you point out, “and… i thought i said to save your questions for the end, did i not?”

“did you? i guess i wasn’t listening. sorry, sweetheart.” taehyung chirps, folding his arms and leaning forward on his desk, “anyway- don’t you think it’s a little unfair that you get to play the hotshot lawyer in this simulation?”

“everyone gets a turn to be the lawyer - last week, it was jungkook. this week, it’s me. everyone gets a shot to play the hotshot lawyer because our roles rotate.” you shake your head in disagreement, “how am i being unfair?”

“you assigned yourself, like, the coolest case study.” taehyung scoffs, leaning back against his seat and crossing his arms, “i mean… medical negligence and a criminal prosecution for gross negligence manslaughter?” his left brow arches before he turns his head slightly, “jungkook, what was your case study on again?”

“my client parked in a no-parking zone!” jungkook beams, nodding to himself, “i didn’t mind getting that case, though. it was actually pretty fu-”

“you hear that, y/n?” taehyung turns his head back to face you before gesturing behind him, “jungkook also thinks his case was boring as hell- his client parked in a no-parking zone and you get to deal with corrupt doctors and accidentally-but-not-really-accidentally-run-over-by-a-car pedestrians.”

your jaw clenches in frustration and you resist the urge to take a heel off and bash taehyung’s skull in with it

being forced to wear nice shoes to school would be so much better if you were allowed to commit cold-blooded murder with them

“well, that was last week’s case, so even if jungkook thought it was boring…” you pause, turning to set your notebook down on the front desk before twisting back around, “he’s already had his turn. and now it’s my turn!”

“you could’ve given me this case.”

“oh, please.” you snort, rolling your eyes before leaning against the front desk, “you wouldn’t have been able to handle a case this big. this has my name written all over it.”

taehyung scoffs, rolling his eyes, “the only reason why it has your name written all over it was because you grabbed it with your grubby little raccoon hands before anyone else had the chance to-”

“i-!” you pinch the bridge of your nose before letting out a laugh of disbelief, “oh my god, i refuse to have this conversation with you again, taehyung- for the last time, it was a first-come-first-serve situation, and you probably could’ve gotten this case if you weren’t so busy watching netflix in class-”

“you guys-” namjoon clears his throat, his shoulders drooping when the two of you ignore him, “…never mind.”

this always happens

you guys somehow always find something to argue about no matter what

in fact, namjoon’s convinced that you guys could sit in complete and utter silence and still find something to fight over

“how long do you think the argument will last this time?” yoongi leans over, “i bet you ten bucks it’ll last longer than last week’s fight.”

“no way! last week’s fight was half an hour long-” hoseok chimes in, “…they can’t possibly argue for longer than thirty minutes… can they?”

“remember that time they fought over a sandwich?” jungkook sighs, leaning his cheek against his fist, “that was a forty minute argument.”

“they fought over a sandwich?” jimin frowns, turning to glance towards the front, “what was there to even argue about??”

“y/n said that the spread was dijon mustard and taehyung said it was horseradish mustard,” seokjin purses his lips, “…i actually ordered the same sandwich and i’m pretty sure it was just regular ol’ yellow mustard… but i’m too afraid to tell either of them they’re wrong about it.”

“oh my god-” jimin scoffs, “forty minutes arguing about mustard?? really??”

“yep! i even recorded the whole thing just because it’s actually pretty interesting listening to two people scream about mustard so passionately for so long,” jungkook pulls his phone out of his back pocket, the rest of the boys scooting in closer to his desk, “by the time we finish watching the video, they’ll… probably be done arguing with each other. maybe.”

“-ow thick is your skull, taehyung? were you dropped on your head as a baby??” you scowl, “if i was a teacher’s pet like you say i am, then i would’ve sweet-talked my way out of being in a group with you. also, you know what? i wasn’t going to bring this up, but the only reason why we’re here during christmas break is because it was your idea to practice during the holidays-”

“yeah! you get to practice your big show in a huge, empty classroom without getting nervous about someone overhearing you practice speaking in your dumb, professional lawyer voice-” taehyung gestures around at the spacious atmosphere, “if this is your way of being thankful to me, you have an awfully funny way of showing it-”

“do you know what i could be doing right now if i wasn’t here?” you scowl, placing your hands on your hips as you glare at taehyung

“hm, let me think…” he hums, leaning back against his chair before kicking his legs up onto his desk, “bending over and trying desperately to pull the fat stick out of your ass?”

jimin sits up a little straighter as he peers over the top of namjoon and seokjin’s heads to check and see if you and taehyung are done arguing yet

your ears are turning red and there’s an animalistic, frenzied look behind your eyes, so... nope. definitely not done yet.

after all this time, he still doesn’t know why you guys fight the way that you do

it’s like you enjoy pushing each other’s buttons and irritating each other until one of you inevitably snaps (you’re usually the first one to fall off the rocker because taehyung is alarmingly good at being irritating)

“ooh, hold on-” jungkook grins, pointing to the screen before whacking jimin’s arm in rapid smacks, “my favourite part is coming up, you have to pay attention-”

jimin looks away from you two and back down at the screen

“-the low acidity liquid gives dijon mustard that intensified heat and the classic pungent flavour which is very obvious in this sandwich!” you exclaim, peeling the top slice of bread off to reveal the inside, “and look at that colour! that is literally dijon mustard-”

“okay, fine! it’s dijon mustard.” taehyung responds while inspecting his nail beds

“no, you’re not listening to- wait… did you just agree with me?”

“yeah!” he sighs, crossing his arms, “the mustard used in your sandwich is dijon mustard. and also, the sky is green-”

“oh my god, you piece of-!”

jimin looks up again when he hears your voice rise a couple of octaves

this is the part of the argument when your ‘i’m-fine-don’t-touch-me-I’M-FINE’ voice comes out

“wow! you are-” you laugh, shaking your head as you lean down and place your hands flat on the surface of taehyung’s desk “you really are something else, kim taehyung. i-!”

you let out a yelp of surprise when taehyung suddenly reaches over and yanks at a section of your hair

“ow!” you whack his hand away before flicking your hair over your shoulder, “wha- what the hell was that for?!”

taehyung doesn’t flinch at your aggressive tone and he looks up at you, completely unfazed, before giving a half-hearted shrug

“it was hanging, like, right in front of me. i couldn’t not pull on it.”

“well, your tie is right there but you don’t see me reaching over and pulling on it to strangle you because it’s right in front of me-”

“oh, threatening to choke me, are we?” taehyung hums, “i’m suddenly feeling very unsafe. should i get one of the guys to call campus security for my protection, miss y/n?”

“do you guys think we should break things off?” seokjin glances over his shoulder at the escalating scene, “ideally, i’d like for this to not turn into a how to get away with murder scenario…”

jimin narrows his eyes slightly as the gears click-click-click away in his head, leaning back against his seat and reaching up to tap at his chin

there’s something about this situation that’s reminding him of something but he can’t quite put his finger on it

“oh my god, you are such a child-!”

jimin’s eyes suddenly widen in realization, a lightbulb appearing at the top of his head

!

does taehyung like y/n?

...

oh, wow

taehyung has a full-blown crush on you!

how could he not have noticed this before?!

taehyung is literally the bratty little boy pulling on your pigtails because he doesn’t know how else to get your attention on this playground!

a comment from a former conversation with you briefly flits through jimin’s mind as he continues staring at the two of you in awe

he doesn’t remember how exactly you guys started talking about it, but he does remember you saying these words to him:

“i mean… yeah. of course i think taehyung’s attractive. maybe in another universe where he’s not bullying me 24/7, i would be more open to admitting to myself that i might have a slight crush- i-i mean, i- what did we say we were going to get for lunch today?? sandwiches?? we should get sandwiches, the place is right here-”

how could he have forgotten you said that to him?!

it’s like he finally has his hands on the missing puzzle piece... and it’s up to him to finish this puzzle!

“i have a plan.” jimin whispers to himself before reaching over to grab onto jungkook’s wrist, “i know what i have to do!”

“huh?” jungkook frowns in confusion, pausing the video before looking over at him, “what are you talking about?”

“just-” jimin gets up from his seat quickly, the chair screeching against the floor, “just make sure they don’t stop arguing with each other while i’m gone because i might take a while to find what i need-”

“you know, i don’t think that’s going to be an issue,” yoongi snorts, everyone looking towards the front to see you glaring at taehyung like you want to rip his heart out of his chest and eat it raw, “check out that throbbing vein in y/n’s forehead.”

“forget about her forehead vein-” jungkook shakes his head, “has no one else noticed how tightly taehyung clenches his asscheeks whenever he’s pissed? those trousers do not hide anything.”

everyone’s eyes immediately gravitate down to taehyung’s ass, hoseok and seokjin bursting into giggles at the sight

“what the fuck is your problem?!” you scream, taehyung’s eyes widening at your sudden outburst, “you’ve treated me like shit from day one and i’ve literally done nothing wrong!”

“okay! i think we should all just take a step back and take a deep breath…” namjoon gets up from his seat slowly, “it’s getting a little intense-“

“nothing wrong?! oh yeah, because you’re little miss perfect-” taehyung spits out, “don’t play dumb, you know exactly what you did!”

“what did i-!” you throw your hands up into the air, “please, i am begging you to tell me what the horrible thing is that i did that made you decide i was public enemy number one-”

“i heard you talking shit about me at the very beginning of the semester when you didn’t even know me! we’d never met and you didn’t even bother trying to get to know me before you formed your own opinion of me based on the way i looked-” taehyung snaps, “you said that i looked like an entitled, obnoxious frat-boy who didn’t even know left from right and only made it to law school because his daddy gave the school a generous donation- so if we’re really going to talk about who the real asshole is in this room, i would suggest re-evaluating-”

you feel the blood drain from your face at the reminder of what you said about taehyung on the first day of class

...oh.

...

okay, yeah, you... might have said that stuff, but it was only because the other people you were sitting with at the time said stuff like that and... and you were so desperate to find a group of cool law-school friends that you were totally willing to say and do anything they wanted you to do or say!

it obviously didn’t work because you don’t sit with them anymore, so...

yeah, it was a bad move to talk shit about taehyung like that without even having spoken one word to him, but if this proves anything... it’s that peer pressure is dangerous!

“well, why didn’t you just-” you stammer, feeling your face starting to heat up from embarrassment, “why didn’t you just tell me about this earlier? we could’ve nipped it right in the bud-”

“i much prefer the bullying because the feeling i get after seeing the defeat in your eyes is equivalent to a full-body orgasm-”

“oh my god, you sick freak-”

“uh, you guys-” namjoon cuts in again, holding his finger up, “can i just s-”

“okay, fine!” you raise your hands in surrender, “i’m sorry, alright? i’m really sorry. what i said about you was shitty, but i don’t see how bullying me for months on end was a good solution-”

“can you two shut u-”

“oh, i never said it was a good solution, y/n,” taehyung purses his lips, “like i said - i just did it because it was fun-”

“guys, if i could just get one word in-”

“do you even realize how psychotic you sound right no-”

“HEY!” namjoon suddenly bellows, you and taehyung jumping and clamming up immediately in alarm

“what??” the two of you ask at the same time, pausing to glare at each other for a split second before looking back over at namjoon

“i…” he trails off, his eyes flickering upwards, “…know this is kind of awkward timing, but…”

you and taehyung look up simultaneously, your eyes widening to see a dinky little shrub of... mistletoe? taped at the end of a meter stick

oh no 

oh hell no

“kiss first, and then you can apologise for what was obviously a huge misunderstanding and you can apologise for being a huge prick later - pucker up, lovebirds!” jimin chirps, waving the stick a little and watching your eyes go side to side like a ping-pong ball, “don’t be shy! also, i know the mistletoe looks like a clump of grass that i tied a red ribbon around- just don’t look too closely at it-”

“ha!” you let out a laugh before shaking your head quickly, “no way! i don’t know what you people think is going on here, but it’s certainly not that- you can’t just dangle a plant over my head and force me to kiss him-”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” taehyung scoffs in offence, tilting his head upwards slightly, “anyone would be honoured to be under the mistletoe with me!”

“yeah. anyone out of their mind.”

“aw, c’mon, you guys…” hoseok pushes his bottom lip out in a pout before clasping his hands together, “kiss and make up! we all know that’s how it works. let the christmas spirit take over your bodies and fuel your weird hate-love for each othe-”

“the sooner you two kiss and make out, the sooner i can get the hell out of here,” yoongi interrupts, snapping his fingers, “c’mon! plant a fat one on each other!”

“the only reason why y/n’s getting whiney about it because she knows she’ll fall in love with me the moment she kisses me.” taehyung suddenly speaks up and you immediately look back down at him with a glare

fall in love????

with him????

it’s not going to take a single kiss to fall in love with taehyung - it’s going to take intensive exposure therapy to fall in love with him!

“don’t flatter yourself. i would rather throw myself into oncoming traffic than kiss you, kim taehyung.” you growl, smacking your hands down on taehyung’s desk so violently that it rattles beneath you

“now, now. there’s no need to lie…” taehyung chuckles lightly as he pushes his seat back slightly and rises to his feet

“i’m not lying! i don’t want to kiss you!”

“do too!”

“do not!”

“do TOO!”

“do NOT!”

“you know, you just sound like you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t want to kiss me-”

“you’re the one who keeps pushing it-” you jab a finger into his chest, “maybe you’re the one who wants to kiss me!”

“you think i wanna kiss you?!” taehyung laughs, flicking your hand away from him, “now look who the delusional one is!”

“i thought this was supposed to fix the arguing?” seokjin mutters under his breath, jungkook offering him a shrug while keeping his eyes glued on you and taehyung

he was running out of things to watch on netflix and this makes far better entertainment

the only thing that would make this better was if you and taehyung had at it in a grimy boxing ring half-naked

“i can’t be the only one thinking that all of this could be easily fixed if they just boned each other.” jungkook snorts, the other boys turning to look at him, “…what??”

“i wouldn’t kiss you even if you were the last man on earth.” you snarl, your voice wavering slightly

“you really expect me to believe that?” taehyung tilts his head, “don’t think i didn’t catch the way your eyes just flickered down to my lips, y/n...”

you feel your heart starting to pound in your chest when he places his hands flat on the desk as well, the tips of his fingers brushing over yours

at this proximity, the little voice in the back of your head can’t help but point out how pretty taehyung’s eyes are... and how nice he smells... and how soft his lips look...

...do you wanna kiss him?

oh, god

do you wanna kiss kim taehyung?!

no, you don’t

yes, you do

what??

WHAT?? 

“you wanna kiss me so bad, and you know it, y/l/n.” taehyung taunts, leaning forward just a little more

at this point, your faces are merely an inch away from each other’s and it wouldn’t take much effort to just lean in and… you know.

“i hate you.”

“if you hated me so much, then you wouldn’t be making such a big deal over silly little mistletoe now, would you?” taehyung smirks, pulling away before making his way around the desk so that he can get closer to you, “you like me but you’re too much of a wimp to admit it!”

“i like you?!” you gawk, “more like you like me!”

“okay-” jimin huffs, lowering the stick before taking a step back, “i really thought this was going to work, but my arms are getting tired, so if you two aren’t going to kiss, then i- oh-” his eyes widen in surprise when you and taehyung are suddenly lunging at each other not a second later, your hands cupping his cheeks and his hands gripping your waist as you kiss far more feverishly than he thought you two would

oh

oh my

“see, what’d i say? sexual tension!” jungkook kisses his teeth, leaning back against his chair and crossing his arms, “all that pent-up energy from arguing has led to this beautiful moment-”

“you’re an- mm- you’re an awful kisser, by the way-” taehyung mutters against your mouth, lips turning up in a boyish grin when you retaliate by shoving at his chest

“so are you!” you pull away only for taehyung to pull you right back in to press his mouth against yours again, “’m hating ehvery minute of this-”

“ah… isn’t young love sweet?” hoseok coos, jumping in his seat when taehyung suddenly shoves you up against the front desk with a thud, “so passionate!”

“okay, we’re just going to-” namjoon gets up from his seat gesturing for the boys to get up as well, “we’re happy to see that the argument has been settled!”

he hurries everyone to the front door and turns to glance over his shoulder, “when you guys are done, just… let us know! we’re going to pop over to starbucks for some hot chocolate. so... text one of us. or call! or you could use snapchat- it’s up to you, really-!”

namjoon doesn’t get a chance to say anything else before yoongi’s yanking his arm and pulling him backwards, reaching over to slam the door shut

a moment of silence goes by in which everyone takes a second to process what exactly just happened

“take your shirt off-”

“you take yours off first!”

“i... can’t tell if my plan was a success or a failure.” jimin mutters to himself, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck

“hey, if it makes you feel any better, at least they aren’t arguing with each other anymore!” jungkook cheers, clapping his hands quietly, “it’s a christmas miracle!”

❄️christmas with cee 2020 masterlist 🎄

[ignitedbynatsu]

Are You Really That Dense?

A/N: sooo what we've learned is that when I say I will upload the next day, you should probably expect an update a day or two later 😅. Anyway this one is requested by @enchantingpeachherocreator I hope you like it as much as I loved writing it ❤️

Warnings: swearing

Genre: angst tot fluff

👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅

"So when are you going to confess your unconditional love for him?" The green-haired mage took a seat beside you as he caught you staring at his friend once again.

"I will once you admit your own feelings" you shot back, not taking any relationship advice from someone that wasn't even ready to accept their own feeling.

"I'm afraid that I do not know what you are talking about" he tried to play the dumb card which only earned him an eye roll from you.

"I doubt he even sees me that way" you mumbled, breaking your one-sided staring context, leaning your head on your crossed arms in front of you.

"Why don't you hint that you see him as more than just a friend?" Freed suggested at which you scoffed "if the obvious flirting isn't gonna do it, then I don't know what, I bet even Natsu has noticed how I feel, and he hasn't even noticed how Lucy looks at him like he has hung the stars in the sky"

"Yeah... Even I'm surprised that Bickslow hasn't caught on yet. It's almost getting painful" he agreed

"Maybe he's deliberately ignoring it like Gray's doing with Juvia" you mumbled. You'd rather have him straight out reject you than just stringing you along just 'cause he thinks it's fun. You weren't a toy he could play with and just throw away when he lost interest.

"How about one last big gesture? If he doesn't pick up on that then maybe it's indeed better to move on" your friend proposed. You finally lifted your head up from your arms to look at him. "Like what?"

"I don't know... Something personal" he pondered his own suggestions for a second before he suddenly snapped his fingers like an amazing idea just crossed his mind "isn't there a saying like the way through a man's heart is through his stomach?"

"Freed! You're a genius!" At that moment, your eyes got reignited with a sparkle of hope that you had lost over the past weeks.

You knew that you were probably settings yourself up for failure, but you didn't care because you had hope. Hope that Freed, his and your best friend, had given, and he wouldn't give you false hope if he knew you had no chance, right?

Due to the anticipation for Bickslow, you could hardly sleep that. Possible outcomes swirled through your mind that went from a picture-perfect scenario to the most heartbreaking rejection. You hoped with every cell in your body it would be the first.

"Hi Bickslow!" your usual cheerful self was amplified, and he didn't have the slightest clue as to why.

"Hey (Y/N), what you got there?" His eyes fell upon the box that you were carrying in your hands.

"Oh you know, I was a bit bored last night and thought I'd do something sweet to show how much I appreciate you" you explained as you opened the box to reveal his favourite cake.

"Just for me? If I didn't know better I would think you'd try to confess something" he gladly took a slice and let his teeth sink into the sweet dessert you had poured all your love in last night.

A nervous chuckle escaped your lips "about that..."

"(Y/N), this tastes horrible" he laughed as he placed the half-eaten piece back into the box "you trying to poison me or something?"

"I didn't think it tasted that bad" the hope left your eyes as soon as it came as you watched the man in front of you ridicule your baking skills.

"Then you should let your taste buds get checked out. No wonder you only wanted me to taste that garbage" he took the box and threw it into the nearest bin, along with your heart.

You were devastated, heartbroken and humiliated as the whole guild looked at what Bickslow was making such a fuss over. Perhaps he was just stringing you along. "Sorry"

Freed and Laxus sighed as they saw the heartbroken girl ran out of the guild and their clueless friend staring at her retrieving form "what's her problem?"

"Even you can't be that dense" Laxus scoffed in disbelief at his friend's question.

"What do you mean?" Freed was getting more and more fed up with his friends acts, especially since it was hurting his other best friend, so when that final question left his mouth he decided to draw the line.

"Stop it, Bickslow. Just stop it. I cannot believe you just did that to her. You really wanna keep playing the dumb card and act like you don't know how she feels about you? How she has been feeling about you for the last couple of months? You could have just turned her down softly, but no, you wanted to make a big deal out of it and humiliate her in the process. I hope you had a good laugh out of it, asshole" the green-haired mage didn't even wait for a reaction as he stormed out of the guild as well, determined to find his best friend.

"... She likes me?" He was doing his best to process Freed words. Words he had longed for so long to hear. He could have never imagined hearing them in this situation.

He didn't mean to hurt you. That was never his intention. He thought you had done something in the cake to mess with him. How could he have possibly known that it was part of your confession? Something he could've never hoped you'd do one day. After all, he always thought you were way out of his leak. He was certain that any chance of you reciprocating his feelings, was now completely out of the window. The worst part, he had nobody but himself to blame for that.

"You fucked up" Laxus also got up to leave him but Bickslow stopped "Laxus! You have to help me. I didn't mean to hurt her. I really didn't know. Please, I don't know what to do."

His pleas were to no avail as the blonde shook his head "I'm sorry, but, you're on your own for this one"

Some may say that it was unfair the way Laxus treated him, but he knew that if Bickslow wanted to make things right, he'll have to do it on his own. He had to show her he really meant it. Plus it was also a bit of payback for making his friend cry, but that was just a bonus.

He tried talking to you, he really did, but you were always busy. If you had no excuse, Freed was certain to step in and guide you away. It frustrated Bickslow, but he knew he had no right to feel that way. Not at your nor at Freed. He fucked it up.

You on the other hand were torn. You wanted to listen to him, have to hear what he had to say, but you couldn't. You wouldn't survive opening your heart back open to him only for it to be shattered moments later again. Yet, you still cared. Noticing every little thing that changed from his quietness to his slouched posture, nothing passed by you.

That's how you noticed the bandages around his fingers and the one covering his cheek, making him not able to put on his helmet.

"Where are you going?" You ignored Freed's questions as you made your way to where Bickslow was sitting alone.

You towered over him as you stopped right next to the table he was sitting at "what happened?"As soon as he heard your voice it felt like the wind got knocked out of him. He had practised the words he wanted to say to you countless times in his head, yet when you were standing here, next to him, all he could say was your name. "(Y/N)..."

You tilted your head a bit to the side as you waited for him to continue, but no words left his mouth. You nodded your head once as you understood that he didn't want to talk to you. Had you been reading the signs wrong again? You weren't surprised if you had.

But as you turned on your heels to leave again, Bickslow grabbed your wrist. He wasn't going to let you leave again. Not this time "wait!"

You stopped in your tracks and turned back around to face him. His pleading eyes looked at you, begging you to stay. Those dark red orbs you loved so much but didn't get to see very often. All of it was enough to make you stay put and just listen to what he had to say.

"I- uh- I'm sorry" he apologized as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Once again you waited for him to continue, but nothing came "that's it?"

He was alerted by your reaction. You didn't sound mean or dismissive as he thought you would, no, you sounded tired and heartbroken, making his heartache all the more. He did this. He was the cause of your pain 

"No, that's not what I meant, I mean it is what I mean, I am really sorry for what I did, it's just..." Your eyes softened as he struggled to find the right words. You knew you should keep your walls up, but how could you when he still held your heart?

"Let's start with what happened" you suggested as you motioned to his hands.

A faint colour of red coloured his cheeks as he looked down on his hands as well "Well, funny story actually, well not that funny, but uh-" he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. He never had a problem talking to you before, so why did it seem so impossible now? "I was trying to make you a cake, and it didn't really go as planned"

Your heart swelled at thought of his gesture, but then you remembered the way he belittled your baking skills, making you narrow your eyes again slightly "what happened to your cheek?"

"The cake kind of blew up and burned my cheek" your eyes shot up at his explanation. How do you blow up a cake? Let alone burn your cheek with it in the process?

"Anyway that's not what's important" he dismissed the story as he once again sucked in a large breath. It was now or never "I am really sorry for the way I treated you that day. I never meant to hurt you. I know it's hard to believe, but I really didn't know that you liked me back. I guess I just placed myself in the friend zone from the moment I met you because I didn't think I had any chance with you, to begin with. Because of that the thought of you actually liking me never crossed my mind."

"Why'd you think you weren't good enough for me?" You asked confused. To you, he was perfect. Sure he had done some questionable things in the past, but he showed he was a man worthy of redemption. He was a man worthy of your heart.

"I can't even put in words how perfect you are. You're everything I wished my dream woman to be and more. I always thought you'd deserve someone better like me. Someone who could treat you the way you deserved to be treated. Someone like Laxus or Freed" he tried to explain.

A soft smile played along your lips as you heard the names of your friends, who were clearly in love with each other, fall from his mouth. He really was just incredibly dense. "So please, (Y/N). Give me a chance to prove myself. I'd love you unconditionally, I will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, I... I'd even worship the ground you walk upon-"

"How about we take things slow?" You stopped him before he'd spew even more nonsense.

"Wait! So you forgive me?" He couldn't contain his excitement at the thought of you agreeing to give him a second chance, and when you gave him a sheepish nod he couldn't help but pick you up and spin you around "How about we go on a date? I take you to the best restaurant in town!"

"I'd love to you" you agreed and placed your lips softly against his cheek, making him a stuttering mess once again.

[potato-with-hair]

Fake News

First tumblr Story Ever

As the newest Avenger it seemed that Tony Stark and Captain Rogers were more than comfortable sending you out on all of the shit missions, granted, you could use the time in with your new teammates to learn their little quirks and start working to meld your abilities with theirs so that you could start working together seamlessly, but it was getting ridiculous. You were half expecting to start getting told to go out and help the NYFD rescue kittens from trees and helping the NYPD direct traffic on Broadway in Manhattan during rush hour. Y/N was a technopath, which was a fancy name for someone who could control technology and anything mechanical with their mind, or if you wanted to be technical about it, according to the official S.H.I.E.L.D. dossier:

Y/L/N, Y/N: Main Ability: Technology Manipulation

User can manipulate technology, the sum of techniques, skills, methods, and

processes used in the production of goods or services or in the accomplishment

of objectives. However, most users only can exert control over technological

constructs, such as computers, robots, hardware, and other devices that can be

termed as "technology", in any way. Manifested as a special form of electrical/telekinetic manipulation, a special form of "morphing" which allows physical interaction with machines, or even a psychic ability that allows mental interface with computer data.

Also Called:

· Cyberkinesis

· Cyberpathy

· Mechanokinesis

· Technokinesis

· Technopathy

Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, spring was coming to a close and summer was just around the corner. Tony asked me and Sam Wilson, you may know him as Falcon, to head to midtown

Manhattan because there were some “unsavory” characters hanging around Grand Central Station.

Turns out it was some low-level HYDRA minions that were basically trying to see what kind of trouble they could cause, they had planted a pipe bomb in a waste bin in the middle of the station and it was a Friday when thousands of people would be traveling through the station heading to and from work and school. I think that HYDRA was more or less just testing us Avengers out to what abilities we had and see if there are any hidden capabilities we possessed before they come at us for a full-scale attack.

Sam and I arrived and were able to find the pipe bomb relatively quickly, part of my ability is being able to read the signatures of different technologies and mechanics, and if you don’t think that a bomb countdown timer throws out a red flag, you are mistaken. Anyway, we found it, and rather than call bomb and arson with New York’s Finest, I was able to manipulate the mechanics myself using my mind. I shut down the detonator without ever touching the bomb and made the whole thing inactive within a few minutes time.

Easy peasy, 10 minutes, another fast sweep which took an additional 30 minutes, and Sam and I were finished and ready for our close-ups from the media that always, inevitably followed. We had a small group of media that always showed up whenever a call went out that an Avenger was “working” and there was almost always a small fan base at Grand Central or where ever we were working who would come up to thank us, like we were some sort of rock stars, and as per usual some of the younger men and women took the opportunity to do some flirting with us. Tony told us, unattached Avengers, that any publicity and light flirting and playfulness with the fans was good publicity and would help for the public to relate to us and see us in a positive light. I am not going to lie, I may or may not have had a little thing for our resident speedy Sokovian, but our little flirting in the compound never seemed to go beyond that, flirting. I thought there was a possibility he liked me also, but, so far, nothing. Although I did catch him staring at me quite often and Wanda and some of the guys were always talking to him and then immediately looking in her direction like they were just discussing her. Pietro did seem to always try to be around me and sit near me as often as possible as well. Also when the “fans” would flirt with him, I noticed he never really showed much interest in them, always watching to see what I was doing.

Oh well, time to spend a little time with the crowd before Sam and I headed back to the compound. The New York Times was talking to some travelers about the pipe bomb that was found in the wastebasket and what their thoughts were and how they felt about us being there to “save the day, yet again” when an overzealous “fan” started to get a little handsy with me in the background. He had followed me around and asked me to dinner a few times, flashing cash and his business card a few times, trying to press it into my hand multiple times. I explained I was really bust and thanked him but said I was not interested or available, but he kept perusing me. He was leaning over my shoulder with his hand around my waist from behind, body pulled directly flush with my back and he was in an excited state if you know what I mean, and he was whispering in my ear about some of his fantasies and things that he has dreamt of doing to me. Of course, the camera flashed right as he started to kiss my neck and I had a smile on my face because I was focusing on a sweet 10 year old in front of me asking for my autograph and telling me I was her favorite avenger. If the camera had waited all of 5 seconds more, they would have caught me performing a minor assault on the prick and another 5 seconds would have caught Sam pulling me off of him and flying us out of the station and back to the compound with his hand over my mouth because I let lose a string of explicative’s that would put Wade Wilson to shame.

The next morning I woke up and took a shower, went down to the kitchen and made my normal toast and juice and bowl of fruit, and could not help notice that the Avengers that were there were looking at me strangely, I thought it was because I was still in a sour mood because of that jerk from yesterday and the icky feeling he gave me that I was assaulted by scum. I knew that Rogers, Wanda, Sam, and Nat were on their way to Lagos on a mission. Thor and Banner were MIA since Sokovia, which left Stark, Rhodey, Vision, Pietro and I still here.

“Y/N, so, how was the pipe bomb incident yesterday?” Tony asked seemingly hinting at something

“Uneventful aside from a slight annoyance in the crowd, is there coffee left?” Y/N responded looking at him while rising to get a mug and pour a hot mug to clear the remaining sleep from my head.

“Nothing happened? Nobody special you want to tell us about?” Rhodey chimes in.

“Not that I am aware of or worth mentioning now that it’s done and over with, is there something you would like to tell me about?” Y/N asks looking back and forth to them. “Hey, where’s Speedy, he’s usually down here eating everything that isn’t trying to eat him first.”

Tony looks at Y/N and smirks, “It is strange that you should mention that, he came in about 20 minutes ago, I assume you were in the shower or I am sure you would have heard him, saw the cover of the New York Times, flipped out and, well, here you are, please take a look, we are on pins and needles to know what you think. And I hope you know that all suitors must meet the full team before you becoming an “item” and pass Avenger inspection, and Rogers is particularly tough.” He slid the paper across the kitchen island to where you sat, both he and Rhodey watching your face for a reaction. You unfolded the paper confused and looked at the front cover.

There in black and white at you was a close up of the stranger with his arms around your waist from behind, you leaning slightly forward smiling and the stranger kissing your neck, the little girl you were smiling at was covered by the person being interviewed in the foreground. To someone who was not there and did not know the story, this definitely looked bad, like a very intimate moment caught on film, the headline read ‘Newest Avenger Moving Fast With New York Wall Street Trader’ the article went on to talk about how you just met the guy and did not bother to get his name, but just let him put the moves on you, yadda, yadda, yadda. Apparently, after Sam got you out of there, the “gentleman: in question decided to make a name for himself and gave a short interview making it sound like you approached him and started the whole flirt fest, lead him on, and then abandoned him, with the promise to return. You looked at Tony and Rhodey with wide eyes and a sick feeling in your stomach, “This is the biggest load of shit I have ever read in my life, this is not anything at all what happened. About 3 seconds after this picture was snapped, I basically slapped the taste out of his mouth and would have continued to do so had Sam not gotten me out of there. Flirting? More like this guy assaulted me. This was not consensual or wanted. I told him multiple times I was not interested and refused his advances and invitations to dinner and he kept bothering me. I was talking to a little kid and he pulled this crap when I had my back turned to him.”

Tony went from joking to serious almost instantly, “Okay, we were just going to bust your balls on this a little bit, but this has just become a non-joke. I’ll have Pepper contact someone in Stark Industries legal department to get in touch with the paper to track this guy down, he’ll have had to sign a waiver for publication and we’re going to go after him for liable and harassment. If he tries to come after you for battery for the assault, well, we’ll call that defense, Avenger or not, no one gets to touch you without permission. Y/n we really didn’t know, we were just going to play around with you about this a little, and we had no idea. He didn’t do any weird stuff, right?”

“NO, I mean, I slapped him and Sam pulled me off of him and flew me out of there, anything beyond what he did to me and you would have been getting a call from New York’s finest about bail or my court hearing for homicide. I was shocked, but if it had gone beyond what it was, I would have raged a lot harder than I did. The headline in the paper would have read a lot differently today.” Y/N responded.

“Alright, I know that yesterday was weird and I know that Nat and Wanda have had to deal with crap like this from time to time, unfortunately being an attractive woman on the team seems to let the guys out there think that it is open season to treat you ladies like meat. It is unfair and it sucks and if any of the men on the team are around just say the word and well step in and make sure the guys know it’s not okay, or step back and let you take care of it yourself, whatever you feel more comfortable with. In the meantime, take the weekend off and go to a spa or go shopping or to the movies or whatever you need to do to feel better, charge everything to Stark okay. Just let us know if you need anything alright.” Tony hugged you with one arm and kissed the top of your head. “One thing though, Lightning Legs. He flipped out when he saw this. He thought it was true and got hot and bothered. I would suggest finding him and letting him know what is really going on because the last thing you need right now is a crazy Sokovian kid acting like a jealous boyfriend right now.”

You look us at Tony and across the island to Rhodey, “What is that all about, what is he flipping out about, he brags about all the women he is into and dated back in Sokovia all the time, what does he care about what happens to me?”

“Y/N are you serious? That kid has been crazy in love with you since Sokovia. I swear I was coming close to sending you both on a mission that involved a tropical island and a case of rum soon. If he’s not staring at you, you are staring at him. It’s sickening.” Tony finished with a sarcastic eye roll. Go relax in your room, we'll take care of this. Just try to put it from your mind and well talk soon. With that, you left and headed to the elevator bank to the sleeping quarters level, feeling shitty, but better because you knew Tony would do what he could to help.

You were only in your Bedroom Suite for about half an hour when there was a somewhat frantic knocking at your door. You got up from your bed, put down the book you were currently reading, and made your way to the door, opening it, you found a seemingly tormented Pietro, he entered your quarters without an invitation and started to pace the length of your room, looking at you, Y/N could tell he needed to speak, but he was not sure where or how to start.

“Y/N, I ……. The newspaper, I saw the picture and…… Who is he? Do you like him? I mean does he make you happy? I want you to be happy……… I know that no one will ever be able to………. Not like I do………” Pietro kept starting and stopping sentences, never actually completing any, and getting agitated. You had never seen him this disconcerted before, he was always so unruffled when he would flirt with you before and this was a whole new side to him that you had never seen before. It was like he was unsure of himself and it was not something he was sure of how to process. You walked towards where Pietro was walking seemingly carrying on an argument with himself and reached out for his hands.

“Pietro, please stop, okay, please. It is not what you think, I don’t know that guy. It was fake, it was false, I don’t know him, I did not ask for that, I did not tell him it was okay to touch me or kiss me like that, I was not alright with that, He did that without my permission, and the photographer took a picture and they wrote some fake story to make it seem like I was into it. I did not want that. I don’t know him, I feel disgusted by that.” You start to rub your neck where the creep kissed you, sat down on the plush cushioned ottoman bench at the foot of your bed and start to curl into yourself to make yourself as small as possible as Pietro looks at you taking in your words.

“Wait, moja bohyňa (my goddess,) some guy you do not know came up to you and started to touch you and kiss you without your permission? No, I will not allow this, who is this man; I will go fight him right now. Žiadny odpadok sa nemôže dotknúť mojej bohyne bez jej súhlasu. Nikomu by nemalo byť dovolené pozerať sa na ňu bez toho, aby sa poďakoval bohom, že bola stvorená. (No trash can touch my goddess without her consent. No man should ever be allowed to look on her, without thanking the gods that she was created.) Are you okay?” He sat on the bench next to you giving you plenty of space, not wanting to crowd you. “I will kill this man, why would he think he could touch you, Bohyňa (Goddess,) if I had been there, I would have stopped him immediately, I am so sorry I was not there with you. “ Pietro sat staring forward with a look of disappointment in himself. You leaned over towards him putting your head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around you pulling you into him. You snuggled your face into his chest drawing designs on his stomach and chest with your finger as he kissed your head and held you close.

“Tony is going to get the Legal department of Stark Industries to look into the paper and find out who the guy is and get him charged with harassment, and I may or may not have given him a good slap as soon as I got over my shock and realized what was happening, so I figure I should let the cops know everything in case he decided to try to press charges later for battery saying I attacked him. But I promise Pietro, there is absolutely nothing at all going on with that guy or any other guy in my life because I was sort of waiting for someone I had a sort of thing for to maybe make a move, but I didn’t think that he was interested, so I had basically given up hope and just accepted that we would only be friends, and that was okay, but I really was hoping he would let me know he felt the same.” You continued tracing symbols on Pietro's chest with her fingers nervously

Pietro put his hand gently under Y/Ns chin and raised her face so that his clear blue eyes were looking directly into Y/N/E/C, “Do I know this guy?” He asked finally deciding to go with the advice the rest of the team when they told him that Y/N was definitely into him, and Wanda assured him that yes, Y/N thought about him often and was only too nervous to make the first move, but if Pietro would, she would be receptive.

Y/N looks from Pietro's eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again and states “I am sure you have seen him around here, sometimes he’s hard to spot because he’s pretty fast, but when he stops or slows down and doesn’t try so hard to impress everyone he’s really an amazing guy. I have to say to, he is sexy as hell too, and he has this accent when he talks, uggghhh, it does things to me.” Y/N just smiles at him teasingly.

Pietro chuckles and smiling leans in but says softly before he kisses you, “Prednesiem vám básne a texty, ak ma chcete počuť hovoriť, poviem vám všetky veci, ktoré chcem s vami a s vami urobiť, ale nikdy vám nebudem môcť vyjadriť, ako veľmi vás milujem a uctievam. Teraz si môj, ako ja tvoj, navždy. (I will recite you poetry and lyrics if you want to hear me speak, I will tell you all the things I want to do to you and with you, but I will never be able to express to you, how much I love and worship you. You are mine now as I am your, forever.)” He then lays the softest and most soul-baring kiss on Y/N that she has ever felt. It was as if all the passions in the world could have been transferred to her through that kiss and as he softly caresses her face while peppering gentle kisses on her face, Y/N thinks that maybe this stupid picture is not the worst thing in the world to ever happen to her if it is what FINALLY brought her and Pietro together, she figures if nothing else, this will be a brilliant story to tell their kids someday.

Slovakian substituted for Sokovian

Y/N = Your Name

Y/L/N = Your Last Name

Y/N/E/C = Your Eye Color

[eddiemunsonssoulmate]

Fight so dirty, but your love's so sweet

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary: You like it rough and thankfully, he shares that passion.

Warnings: Smut, Dirty Talk, Gun kink, Unprotected Sex

Available on: AO3

A/N: You asked for it, you’re getting it. Straight up PWP because we all know JJ has a gun kink. Enjoy!

“I’ll kill him!” JJ yelled when he ran inside his house while you were following him with the hope to calm him down.

“You’re overreacting. He’s just a douche, forget about him,” you tried to argue but you already knew that he wouldn’t listen. He was in one of his dangerous states right now.

Jaw clenched, hands balled into a fist, angry steps and stormy eyes. He was mad. More than mad.

The two of you had been together for a while now, still keeping it a secret from your friends and especially your family. Your parents were Kooks and they wouldn’t approve. Not that you would give a single fuck about their opinion. You were in love with this angry boy in front of you and nothing would be able to tear you apart.

“How am I supposed to forget about him when I know he touched you, (y/n)?!” he yelled at you while rummaging through his things, apparently looking for something.

You had told him that Rafe had felt you up earlier, it had been an act to keep your parents please but apparently JJ was missing that part. It had felt wrong to keep it a secret so you told him. You told him everything, lying to your friends was bad enough.

“It’s partly my fault for letting him. Nothing to get so worked up over,” you replied and sighed, feeling how you got slowly mad at him for overreacting so much.

Yes, Rafe was a douche and not worth a single second of your time but flirting with him would get your family higher up in the invisible ranks of the Kook world. So you did what you had to but in the end of the day, you’d be back in JJ’s arms.

“God, don’t say that.” The deep growl that came out of this throat made you rub your legs together and you swallowed when you saw him coming towards you with the gun in his hand.

His whole body was so tense and his breathing was heavy. You didn’t doubt for a second that he would be able to shoot someone in the face while he was this angry.

“I’ll fucking kill him. No one touches my girl!”  he growled but you stepped in his way, crossing the arms over your chest and blocking his way.

He raised a confused eyebrow at you and you saw how he swallowed hard, taking all his willpower to not leash out on you too.

“Let me through, for fucks sake. I’m just trying to help you here!” He seemed to think you wouldn’t understand but you did. You understood him well enough which was exactly why you wouldn’t let him through here.

An idea sparked in your head and a smirk appeared on your lips which confused him.

“If you want to pass by you have to make me,” you said, the tone of your voice absolutely challenging.

He frowned and groaned. “(y/n), please,” he asked in frustration and waved his gun around in front of you.

You grabbed his wrist and turned it so the gun was held against your head. Your free hand reached out to grab the bulge between his legs.

“I can think of way better things for this to use, you know,” you purred and took a step forward, lowering your hand which held his wrist so the gun was pointing between your legs. “Unless you’re afraid, of course.”

A chuckle left your throat when you saw those stormy eyes turn from anger to lust and within a second, he was kissing you so hard he almost punched the air out of your lungs with it.

JJ wouldn’t hurt you and if you were honest, your mind had been going to this place for a while now. There was just something about him and the gun that made your legs weak and your pussy drip. Maybe it was the danger in it, maybe it was the kick of adrenaline, you didn’t really now. You only knew you wanted this.

His body weight pressed you against the next wall and you groaned a little at the pain rushing through your back. He used this moment to push his tongue inside your mouth. At this point, you let go of his wrist to throw both arms behind his neck, pulling him even closer but the arm between you still prevented you from almost merging in the heat.

JJ moved his hand a little and slowly started rubbing you between your legs with the gun. You swallowed when it made contact with the fabric where your clit would be.

“You like that, huh?” he asked when he pulled back briefly to look into your eyes. Your cheeks were wearing a blush and your panties were probably already ruined from just a little touch. He had this effect on you, it was hard to keep calm with him around, especially when his voice had this edge and his eyes told you he would be able to fuck you numb at any second now.

What could you say? You loved it rough and maybe he wasn’t the only one with a gun kink here.

“Answer me,” he said and pressed the tip of the gun more forcefully against your clit which made you yelp.

“Yes, I love it,” you moaned and he grinned at you, apparently enjoying you’re sharing his interests..

“Good girl,” he mumbled and kissed you again, starting to rub the gun in slow circles over the fabric.

You were already so heated and this was only the beginning of the dangerous game you were playing with him. The anger he had still inside of him was only fueling the fire more. Thank god for this unholy opportunity.

“Suck my dick,” he whispered against your lips and you nodded. He pulled his hand away from between your legs and you sank down in front of him, eyes on him while he lifted the gun to look at it. 

“Holy shit, that’s hot.” A dark chuckle left his throat while turning the gun before holding it to your temple. It wasn’t cold anymore but the idea of it ran a shiver down your spine anyway.

The look he had in his eyes was something you couldn’t describe and he just smirked while you were opening his pants, pulling them down together with his boxer shorts. 

He was already hard in front of you and you gladly took him inside, the muzzle of the gun pressed against your skin giving you the extra kick, one he seemed to get too. JJ threw his head back when you swallowed him whole, nose pressing against his lower half for a moment before pulling back, coughing a little.

You only took him in completely when you were really aroused, mostly later in the blowjob but now you did it right at the start. Looking in his eyes while your own were watering a little showed you that he knew what it meant. Bastard.

His length was growing even more inside of you. His free hand wandered in your hair, playing a bit with it, urging you gently to suck him faster.

Your tongue moved around his head of his length and you had to use one of your hands to cover everything, pumping and sucking at the same time.

“Fuck that’s good,” he moaned and swallowed hard, looking down at you to take in the scene completely. The gun, you at his mercy, sucking his cock like there was no tomorrow. You took him in deep again which made him close his eyes in a loud moan.

Meanwhile your cunt was quivering in need of attention, at least to get the fabric out of the way. Raw desire was clawing inside of you, simply wanting to get the sweet release, at least a little friction.

Your other hand moved between your legs and opened the button of your pants, moving one hand inside. The panties were ruined for sure, you could already feel the wetness lingering there. You were able to flick over your clit a couple of times when you heard a click.

You swallowed hard and looked up at him, eyes now on you with a sneer on his face.

“Did I say you could touch yourself?” The growl only turned you on more but you took your hand out of your pants and shook your head, mouth not leaving his cock. “Then don’t do it.”

You nodded and kept sucking him but he made a sound of disapprovement briefly after.

“To the bed,” he commanded and you got up. “Wait there for me, naked.”

A small chuckle left your mouth when he slapped your ass while you made your way to his bedroom. You threw your top and bra away on the way there, wiggling out of the pants and ruined panties in front of the bed.

It took him a moment to join you and you weren’t sure what he had done during that time, maybe taking a moment so he wouldn’t directly explode? He was undressed now too, gun still in his hand.

“Such a beautiful sight,” he mumbled as he came over to look at how you were positioned on his bed, everything about your body telling him that you wanted him. “An such an obedient slut.” 

You swallowed hard at those words. He didn’t use them often but when he did your whole body was screaming in lust. You loved dirty talk and he had just the perfect voice for this. Sometimes he called you good girl while you were with your friends, when it fit the occasion, knowing exactly what that would to do you.

JJ came over to you and joined you on the bed, kneeling above you. He lowered the gun to your face and smirked, running it over your forehead, your nose to your mouth, tapping it against your lips a few times.

He then moved to your bare chest, pressing the muzzle on top of your left nipple and then running it in circles around the firm skin of your breast a couple of times before repeating the process on the right one. He then moved the gun down your stomach and even further.

You knew exactly where this was going and it made your pussy drip even more in excitement. You laid still, not daring to say a word.

When the steel pressed against your clit you moaned, almost cumming on the spot from the feeling of it.

“You are so. dirty.” JJ laughed at you and shook his head in fake disbelief but you could see how excited he was from the way his body was shivering. The blonde starting to move the gun slowly, pleasuring you with the steel that was supposed to kill, not bring pleasure and yet, here you were, enjoying this more than you should.

So did he as you could catch a glimpse of the precum glistening on his hard cock that was just waiting to be inside of you.

He moved the barrel against your clit in such a slow movement that was driving you insane.

“More, please,” you begged and he chuckled, moving the gun a little lower to your entrance, pressing against it a little bit.

Your eyes went wide when you could feel your wet lower lips closing around the tip of the gun, just a little bit. Not deep, not painful but enough to make you fall over the edge on the spot.

“Holy shit, you just came from that!” he said with a grin on his lips, eyes so wide and dark while looking up at you. He obviously didn’t expect this to happen and neither did you if you were honest. There was just something about that cold steel pressing inside of you, even if it wasn’t much, that made you explode with lust.

He moved a little so he could lean down and kiss you. “I love you so much, my dirty girl,” he mumbled against your lips and you smiled into the kiss, an unspoken ‘I love you too’ as you were pretty sure you wouldn’t get a single word out right now.

Asshole that he was, he didn’t give you much time to recover. During the kiss he already started to tease your clit with the gun once more before pulling back, kneeling again. He lifted the gun to look at it and you could see it glistening in the sun, the tip covered in your wetness.

The blush on your cheeks was nothing you could hide anymore but he liked it, so there was no need for it anyway.

He moved the gun to your face again, tapping against your lips with the muzzle that was coated in your wetness.

“Suck it like you would suck my cock, baby”, he demanded and you swallowed before opening your mouth.

JJ pressed the gun inside your mouth and you could taste yourself on it. You started to suck on it slowly, imagining his cock and never looking away from his eyes.

“Use your tongue.” You started to move your tongue around the tip of the gun, licking every last drop of your own wetness from it.

His hand had moved between your legs, playing and pinching your clit and you moaned around the gun. He used that moment to push it in just a little deeper, always careful not to hurt you but still in a dominant way.

It was a weird feeling to do this, it was so different from anything else you had done and yet, you couldn’t stop the heat building up inside of you again, especially when he played you like an instrument down there.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he said and licked his lips, pressing two fingers inside of you. He then started to move the gun, moving it inside and outside your mouth slowly, watching how your lips glided over it over and over again. His fingers mirrored the movement of the gun in your mouth.

“Ride me,” he suddenly demanded and pulled his fingers out of your cunt and the gun out of your mouth.

You took a deep breath as you had been so close to your next orgasm and you threw him a glare at which he just chuckled, knowing exactly what he had done.

He positioned himself on the bed and you licked your lip at the sight. “Hurry up and show me what a good ride is,” he said with a wink and you smirked while climbing on top of him, almost impaling yourself on his length but he stopped you right when you could feel the tip of his dick touching your folds just slightly.

“You have to use it,” he requested and you raised an eyebrow at him when he held the gun out to you.

“What do you mean?” you asked him and he looked at you with a wolfish grin on his lips, leaning upwards a little, supporting himself on his arms for a moment.

“I want you to hold it under your chin,” he explained and put the gun in your hand before tapping a spot of skin under your chin with his fingers. “Don’t pull the trigger by accident,” he added with a wink and for a moment you were absolutely gobsmacked.

A moment that passed fast enough when he grabbed your hips and slammed you down on his cock, a scream of surprise and pleasure leaving your throat.  He leaned back on the bed and enjoyed the view he got.

“Fucking bastard,” you breathed out and he chuckled.

“What was that?” he asked in a daring tone and you just shook your head. “The gun, baby.”

He nodded at it in your hand and you reluctantly held it to the soft skin under your chin. One wrong movement and you would shoot straight through your mouth up to your brain.

You swallowed hard when he started to move slowly inside of you, dragging his thrusts out. The lust in his darkened eyes told you how much he loved this and it must be a nice view for him.

Naked on top of him, impaled on his cock, breasts swinging with the movement and the gun pressed against yourself, both hands wrapped around the grip. Maybe it looked a little like you would be praying right now.

Any thought of worry vanished when he slapped your ass. You started to move your hips on top of him, riding him like he wanted.

The grip on your hips grew tighter and you knew he loved it. It probably took him quite the willpower to not thrust into you without mercy. You moved your hips faster, circling it on top of it, always careful not to slip the gun.

“Shit baby, you’re so beautiful when you do it like that,” he moaned and his cock twitched inside of you. “Tell me where you belong.”

“I belong to you, on your cock, just like this,” you said without thinking, dragging the next movement out. “I’m your dirty girl.”

He growled at those words and gripped your hips even tighter, not holding back anymore now. His own hips snapped up rapidly, thrusting his cock deep inside of you, hitting the sweet spot with every movement.

You moaned loudly and your thoughts were clouded with lust and pleasure, only focused on the things he made you feel but always aware of the steel pressed against your skin.

A whimper left your mouth as you felt yourself getting close and his movement was also getting more erratic and less controlled, he couldn’t be far away from orgasm either.

It took two more thrusts at this punishing pace and you screamed out your orgasm, the pleasure exploding inside of you with full force. Your vision blurred, your legs got weak and your fingers squeezed the trigger just a little bit.

Your breathing hitched in terror and fear for a moment but you stopped yourself from actually pulling it.

The blonde under you kept slamming inside of you at the same pace that brought you to come until his fingernails dug into your skin and he held your body pressed closely against his while you felt him painting your inner walls with hot cum.

You both breathed hard for a moment and you still didn’t dare to move the gun away. His eyes were closed and you watched him briefly before closing your own eyes.

JJ leaned up towards you then and took the gun carefully out of your hands, placing it on his nightstand, then wrapping his arms around you and pulling you down on his chest.

“You were amazing,” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to your temple.

You felt how his cock slipped out of you at the different position, some of his semen following after, dripping down your legs.

“You weren’t so bad yourself,” you chuckled against his sweaty skin and he laughed.

“Is this always gonna happen when I want to kill someone now? Because I might want to go on a killing spree.” He laughed and you could feel the rumble in his chest.

You looked up at him with a grin on your lips and winked. 

“Maybe? I guess you have to find out.”

[jiejie-eonni-onee-sama]

Mystery Girl

For the cute @multifandomfix 💝🌹​

Hope you will like this gift!

"No, Gil! Don't tell me you agreed to this!"

"Sorry, Malcolm, but those are the orders of the hierarchy. Besides, having backup can't hurt you!"

The profiler shook his head, annoyed: he didn't need this!

Bright repeated to anyone who would listen that he preferred to profile criminals alone. Why pair him up with a stranger?

Grumbling, the young man nervously ran a hand through his hair. The police didn't want to let him work properly.

JT, one of his friends, patted him on the shoulder and said jokingly:

"Congratulations, Malcolm. You're about to discover an unknown concept: teamwork!

"Very funny, JT."

Dani, his colleague and best friend, tried to make him smile.

"Don't worry: I'm sure you'll be fine. You might even get along with your new partner!"

Malcolm rolled his eyes.

"I think you're very optimistic, Dani. They're going to send me some pimply, snooty kid from the best police academy who's more likely to get in my way than help me!  So, sorry, but I'm not enthusiastic!"

"What do you know? You've never met them!"

At the same time, Gil joined them.

"Bright, your new partner is waiting for you in the office! Try to hide your bad mood!"

Letting out a long sigh of annoyance, Malcolm headed for the room, ranting in anticipation of this unwelcome partner.

"I hope Malcolm doesn't get upset!" muttered JT.

"The way he's in a bad mood, it's not looking good!" whispered Dani.

"Don't worry, both of you. When Malcolm meets our new profiler, I bet he will be different!"

Meanwhile, Bright walked into the room, expecting to run into an arrogant young graduate who would have already criticized his work to no avail without knowing a single detail about the case. Instead, he came across a lovely young woman who was reading the report of the initial investigations.

Forgetting his sour mood, Bright tried to make a good impression on the newcomer. 

Quickly combing his hair and checking his breath, he cleared his throat, attracting the attention of the lady who looked up from her reading.

"Hello," she replied.

Malcolm noticed that she had a lovely voice. Charming must have been her middle name.

Smiling kindly, he introduced himself:

"Hello, you must be the new profiler. I'm..."

The young woman interrupted him with an amused smile.

"I know who you are, Malcolm Bright. I've heard a lot about you."

"Yes, I suppose you've heard that I'm crazy, insufferable, dangerous, and the spawn of a terrible serial killer. Don't bother with that: I hear it all day long!"

Placing the file back on the table, the young woman continued:

"Yes, I've heard that, but those aren't the only things I've heard. I understand that you are intelligent, perceptive, cultured, observant, and stubborn! All in all, an interesting person to work with!"

Bright was surprised!

"Wait, does that mean you asked your superiors to come and work with me?"

"Yes, I did. And from what I can see, you fit the description well: your clothing shows a comfortable lifestyle. I would say that you are very well off financially. 

On the other hand, the paleness of your complexion and the dark circles appearing under your beautiful brown eyes indicate a poor sleep pattern, which can lead to one of two things. 

Either you are an incorrigible party animal, or you are a man whose mind is always racing and troubled by traumatic memories. In your case, I'd go for the second hypothesis. You are a more complex person than most people want to believe."

Crossing her arms, she asked defiantly, a smile on her face:

"Now, Mr Bright, your turn: what can you deduce about me? Apart from the fact that I'm not a pimply little pretentious graduate!"

Malcolm winced: she had heard him!

"I assure you I had no idea who you were. Otherwise, I would never have allowed myself to say such things!"

"Judging without even knowing the people? Big mistake for a brilliant profiler like you, Malcolm!" laughed the young woman.

"Even the best make mistakes."

"If you can give me as much correct information as possible, I'll give you my name. If not, I'll let you search all day. Are you up to the challenge?"

"Challenge accepted. Well, let's see: who are you, mysterious miss?"

He circled the young woman, looking for the slightest detail that might give him information.

After a few minutes of observation, he gave his conclusions:

"From the look of your clothing, you are in a decent financial position. You are not a multi-millionaire, but you make a good living. You like simple, comfortable styles, probably because you like to look elegant and efficient at the same time.

Your posture and stature tell me that you are an athlete. I'd say you've done quite a bit of dancing, but your muscularity shows that you're a martial artist. Am I right?"

"I have a black belt in karate and judo, and I practice taekwondo, as well as ju-jitsu and Muay Thai. And I did a lot of dancing when I was younger."

"Haha! I was right. Well, as for the rest, I'd say you have an excellent photographic memory: you put that file down exactly where you took it. You are also a brilliant observer because you have deduced details of my life just by looking at me. 

I suppose you are an artist in your spare time. I saw in your bag a sketchbook and a box of pencils. Both are well placed, which betrays your meticulous side. 

Finally, I would say that you are a hard-working, kind and mischievous person. Your superiors must appreciate you enough to accept your request to come here. So, what do you say?"

Amused, the young woman clapped slowly.

"Well done, Malcolm Bright. You've lived up to your reputation. Everything you have deduced is correct."

"You will find me delighted. And now, to finish the introductions properly, may I know your name?"

"Of course: my name is (Y/N) (L/N), a certified FBI profiler."

"Pleased to meet you, Miss (Y/N) (L/N). Something tells me we'll work well together."

"That's what I hope."

Hiding behind the door, Gil, JT and Dani were relieved to see that Malcolm and (Y/N) seemed to be getting along well. Now, let's hope that this duo can be effective against the criminals that have New Yorkers on edge.

A few months later.

Sitting on a bench, Malcolm and (Y/N) enjoyed a hot chocolate while enjoying a beautiful autumn day. The two profilers wanted to have a quiet moment, away from the eyes of their colleagues and Malcolm's family! 

"Are you going to tell them the truth about us, or are you going to let them stew for a while longer?" the young woman asked.

The profiler smiled mischievously.

"I think I'll let them work their brains out for a few days before I tell them everything. Just for the fun of seeing their faces when they learn the truth!"

"I didn't know you were such a tease!" joked (Y/N).

For all answers, Malcolm took the young woman's hand in his and placed a kiss on it.

"I'm a man full of surprises, my dear. Just like you!"

"You sure didn't expect me to kiss you first!"

Malcolm pretended to be offended.

"But I thought of it first!"

"Oh, did you?"

"Certainly. Let me prove it!"

The profiler leaned over and kissed his girlfriend on the lips. 

Unfortunately, this sweet moment was interrupted by a ringing mobile phone.

"I think you should pick up the phone!" the young woman pointed out.

Grumbling, Malcolm picked up his mobile phone and picked it up:

"Hello?"

**"Hello, big brother!"**

"Good afternoon, Ainsley. To what do I owe this call?" the profiler asked.

**"I just wanted to let you know that Mum's inviting us to dinner at the house tonight. She's counting on your presence. Is that so?"** asked the reporter.

"I'll be there. It's not like I have a choice!" quipped Malcolm.

**"I'll take that as a yes... Oh, by the way, she'd like you to invite your mystery girlfriend!"**

At these words, the two lovers looked at each other in amazement: would Jessica know?

Controlling his stress, Malcolm replied:

"I don't know what she means, but I don't have a girlfriend!"

**"Oh yeah? Well then, you can tell me who the pretty lady you just kissed lovingly is!"**

Looking around him, the profiler spotted his little sister standing at the other end of the park and waving at him, a smirk on her face.

A little annoyed, Malcolm asked:

"Is your favourite pastime spying on me?"

"I admit it's very distracting. But I promise I won't tell Mum. I'll leave the great honour of making the introductions to you."

"I'm sure you'll be glad to, dear little sister."

"See you tonight, big brother. And give my regards to your lady of heart!" 

When the conversation was over, (Y/N) smiled:

"It seems that someone has found out..."

"And unfortunately, it is my sister."

(Y/N) kissed her boyfriend on the cheek.

"Honey, I can't be your mystery girl forever anyway. They're going to have to know that!"

Malcolm smiled.

"I have to admit, you're right. In any case, my love for you will never be a mystery again."

Now that their secret love affair gets revealed, Malcolm and (Y/N) will have more time to unsolve differents mysteries...

Thanks for reading! 

I hope you enjoyed the story!

Please don’t hesitate to request me a story and see you soon!

Take care! 😍🥰😘

[minachuuu]

Voices I Can’t Run Away From

❣Voices I Can’t Run Away From❣

First one for 2021! This request was so interesting to write guys. I really hope you enjoy it❤

❤ AU: DreamCatcher (Fem!) 8th Member

❤ Genre: Angst

❤ Word Count: 5.3k

❤ Song Suggestions: BOCA by DreamCatcher and Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park

❤ TW: Harassment, bullying, suicide especulation.

Day 1

Please make them shut up. Please.

I’m already way too far away, why do I still hear them? They only yell at me to get out of the band, there’s one too many people in there. The walls around me paint themselves in all the words that are written about me all over the internet, talentless, a nuisance, not enough. I already know that. But I was trying, I swear I was trying. 

Now nobody will have to see my face again, I promise. But please make them shut up.

There was something wrong, a new comeback meant being able to see Insomnias, play in variety shows, performing on stage, all those things you really loved. But not this time, this time it was only you, staring at your broken reflection in the car window, wondering how the hell would the makeup artist was going to cover your swollen red eyes. Your dehydrated throat itched, and you had a water bottle within reach but you couldn’t see the point. 

It didn’t matter how much you tried, how much you put yourself in practices until late at night. The truth was you were put late into the group, maybe it was that you were too young, but no amount of practice would be enough to put yourself on the level of professionalism and skill of your group mates. And there were people especially eager to remind you of that every day. 

Across the chats on VLives, on fancams, even posts on Weverse to the point where you just ignored the app completely. As quick as the new comeback video was up, comments were already written, ‘Dreamcatcher is only 7, not 8’, ‘Y/n is not on the level of the rest, I don’t even know how they could dare put a rookie in an already established group.’ You knew that, you questioned that yourself since the very first moment they announced you as the 8th member.

The car came to a stop that made you exit your thoughts, coming to the realization that you were already parked outside of the Music Bank’s building. You put on your hoodie, placing your mask over your nose and picking up Siyeon’s bucket hat, thankful that she had left it in the back seat on her last ride. You tried covering as much as you could with your hair and clothes, so hopefully no one could see what a disaster you were. 

“Y/n, it’s kind of hot outside,” JiU caught you trying to cover your entire self when she turned around to check on everybody. “Are you sure you-”

“I’m okay Unnie.” You cut her off, zipping the hoodie up as you placed the hood on top of your hat.

The rest of the girls in the van looked at each other concerned. They knew about the comments and even if you told them everyday that you were okay, they weren’t oblivious to how much you showed you weren’t.

One by one exited the car, being received by excited fansites taking their pictures. You halted at the sight of so many people between the entrance to the building and the van, your hands quivering as you felt your insides trembling. A warm hand touched your shoulder from behind, making you startled. You turned around to be received with Handong’s sweet smile and comforting eyes.

“Let’s go together,” She offered her hand as she exited the van before you. “Let’s be quick, the sun is hitting terribly today!”

Taking a deep sigh, you jumped out of the van with the help of your older member, feeling glad for all the layers on your outfit that prevented anyone from getting a clear sight of you. Your eyes refused to get away from the floor, while the members took their formation around you, blocking the view from you even further. Only then you dared looking up, catching a glimpse of the only fansite that you knew. She smiled at you gently, her eyes furrowing in concern. You offered her back a shy salute before lowering your sight again, keeping it on the floor as you kept walking.

Your ears were packed with cheers and screams of the people surrounding the entrance, making you a little uneasy. You wished you had put your airpods on, but at least this time wasn’t as bad as the last music show were-

“Dreamcatcher is seven!” You heard a scream coming out of the crowds. You had talked too soon. The shout was repeated from another side of the crowd, and then another time. Your eyes started stinging, your sight crystallizing while you felt Handong’s hand tighten her grip around yours. Yubin took your other hand in hers as everyone sped up their footsteps.

The managers around the group started herding the people away from the entrance, and in a few seconds, you found yourself inside, as the glass doors shut closed with your entire team following now inside the building. The shouts were muted in the distance, behind the doors. But not in your head. Those same people were going to watch you perform anyway, what was the point in hiding them.

Your team started heading towards the green room corresponding to your group, there was nothing else to do but follow them, but you were stopped when a hand took your wrist. You snapped free of the hand in defense, to then realize SuA was standing there, shocked. 

“Y/n…” Only a whisper was able to come out of her mouth, with the other girls closing in on you. Your mind was already overwhelming you so much, and your member trying to gloss it all over was not helping either. You turned around, evading their gaze and catching up with the team. 

You slouched over the couch, turning on your phone and playing some music once you found your airpods. One by one, the members entered the greenroom and you could feel their stare on you, but you tried drowning all sound from the outside. You used every ounce of energy left in your body from your badly spent nights on trying to contain the tears in your eyes, and you didn’t exactly pinpoint when, but as you leaned down on the couch, your consciousness floated away and you fell asleep.

Just like rewinding a tape, your mind took care of replaying the screams in your nightmares, getting louder and closer each second. The shouts closing in, forcing you between four walls made of glass that kept narrowing around you. You wanted to scream for help, but no sound came out of your mouth. The breath of the screams was so close you could feel it in the back of your neck, rattling your hair. A chill went down your spine as you hugged your knees close to your face to fit in the claustrophobic space. The strong sound of glass shattering welcomed silence, as you lifted your crying eyes. Your members all stood in a line in front of you. But there was something off about them. First it was Gahyeon, she opened her mouth but her voice didn’t sound like… her. You crawled towards them, trying to listen better.

“I was the maknae before you,” The bizarre Gahyeon screamed at you. “I am so much more deserving of that title!”

“Gahyeon Unnie-” You whispered, bringing your hands up to your mouth in shock.

“Your voice ain’t even that good,” Bizarre Yoohyeon screeched next. “How dare you think you could be at our level!”

One by one started launching these things at you, repeating them over, and over and over. That’s when you recognized them. All the comments you swore you had forgotten that you read on the comments sections. Or were they? What if this was the way your members really felt about you? What if...

“Oh, Y/n...” Bizarre JiU kneeled before you, an eerie smirk appearing on her face as her hand reached for your chin. “Everything Dreamcatcher could have been…”

“IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU!” All the girls shouted in unison, launching your body backwards.

You snapped up from the couch, your breathing heavy as if a thousand pounds pressed against your chest, your eyes were flooding with tears as your hands tried reaching for something or someone, anyone around. But you were alone. The greenroom was empty and silent except for you and your heavy panting. 

With your foggied mind, you grabbed another jacket that was left in the room, your phone and your bag. You sprinted towards the door and to the hallways, your group’s comeback song was playing in the distance, the heavy bass resonating across the walls. You halted your steps, wondering if you could turn back and join them in the rehearsal. 

If they wanted you with them, they could have woken you up. They’re already rehearsing for when you’re not around. They don’t need you!

A voice you didn’t recognize crammed your brain. You hold up your head, trying to get it out, but it kept repeating the last part over and over again. Your feet tried outrunning the voice, racing across the hallways as tear after tear caressed your cheeks after bursting free from your eyes. 

The sun rays hurt your swollen eyes when you busted the emergency exit from the back alley open. You covered them with your hat as your feet kept trying to outrun the voices in your head. To no avail, just like your dream, they were just getting closer and closer and closer. 

You ran as far as your feet and legs allowed you, crashing against the pavement from exhaustion. Your eyes scanned your surroundings, but recognized absolutely nothing. The area seemed calm, not a car or person passing around in the eternal time that it felt you were down in the ground. You caught a glimpse of an ally beside you, leading to a public restroom, where the sun didn’t hit you directly. That’s how you found yourself here, alone, snuggled in the cold corner of a deserted alley. 

You were lost, and… for once, you were not sure if you wanted to be found.

Day 2

I was finally able to sleep, my body was way too tired, and my back hurts from the stiff and cold ground I fell asleep in. I also have finally stopped crying, but my eyes and my throat are so swollen and dry. My phone has been dead for hours already. It’s definitely easier than declining every call and resisting the urge to check social media.

All those voices are still there, but at least they’re not shouting anymore.

- - - - - - - - - -

Day 3

It has been so quiet, nothing but the creeks of the rusty doors and the occasional car passing by. I’m starting to miss their voices. Laughing with Yoohyeon and Gahyeon Unnies, Bora and Siyeon Unnies always exist so loudly. I miss quietly hanging around Yubin and Handong, even being nagged by Minji Unnie. Now I cry at the thought of them, I love them but that’s why it’s best for me not to keep ruining their lives. They’re better without me...

“It doesn’t even ring anymore,” Siyeon angrily tossed her phone at the wall, desperate. “It just sends you straight to voicemail.”

“No no no,” JiU barged in, her eyes full of worry as she walked from one side to the other in the Inkigayo green room. “We can’t give up, there must be something else we can do.”

“We have done everything possible in our hands to help...” Gahyeon caressed a plushie in her hands, one you had gifted her on her birthday a year before. “But I really wish we could do more.”

“How did we allow this to come so far?” JiU threw her body weight into the couch, her eyes crystallizing as she rested her head in her hands. “Why did it have to come to this? If only I had-”

“Unnie, don’t blame yourself.” Yoohyeon sat besides JiU, surrounding her with her arms. 

"Why did I let this happen? I knew she wasn't okay and we couldn't reach her." JiU kept pushing the blame on to herself, the tears flowing more freely through her cheeks. "I was supposed to take care of her and I… Failed."

"We all failed." Handong muttered from the corner, hugging her knees. "She was our little maknae, and we didn't realize how much of this was hurting her."

"I don't understand…" Yoohyeon was next, caressing her leader's back as she spoke. "She can rap, sing, dance. She's an ace of her generation. She practiced day and night, everywhere…" 

"She must be cold, alone…" SuA broke in, cleaning away a tear from her chin. “She even left her favorite blanket at home, I folded it for her just in case-"

SuA couldn't continue talking as the knot in her throat tightened with each word. 

Three days ago after finishing their rehearsal on Music Bank, the girls went back to the greenroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of you still sound asleep cuddled up in blankets they gently put on top of you, just like they had left you, deciding you knew the moves and camera drills enough to be able to sit down this rehearsal. As your roommates, SuA and Yoohyeon knew you spent restless nights, silently sobbing on top of your bunk bed, so they allowed you to rest what you needed to rest before the presentation. 

But when they opened the door, you weren’t anywhere to be seen. Keeping calm they searched in the bathroom, the change rooms and even in the closets, remembering your habit of hiding to scare them later. But you weren’t there. The managers went out of the room to search for you all around the building. But you weren’t there. Everyone tried calling your phone but to no answer, your bag and jackets were nowhere to be seen. Time was running out, with the managers frantically trying to search for you everywhere, the girls buried their hands in the makeup chair as they spent every second trying to reason your whereabouts. With only five minutes before going into stage and still no sign of you, the company had to tell the public that you would be sitting out the promotions for health reasons, only to not panic the fans.

They had to continue their activities without you, and by night when still nobody knew anything of you, the company filed a missing report, and a search for you began. The girls had to endure every presentation with a straight face, but each one kept wearing their hearts, your absence clearer day by day. 

“We must try and remain positive.” Siyeon tried breaking the ice, cleaning more tears from SuA’s cheeks. “We’ll find Y/n, and then Dreamcatcher we’ll be complete again.”

“But what if she doesn’t want to come back?” Yubin, who since your disappearance had remained silent except for their forced schedules, finally dared speaking, making everyone snap their faces to her.

“Yubin…” Siyeon muttered. 

“It’s just that,” She continued talking, with all the girls glued to her words. “Even we were hesitant at the idea of adding an eighth member. If she didn’t feel completely welcome somewhere, why would she stay where people keep hurting her?”

“But Insomnias love her!” Gahyeon remarked.

“But the ones that don’t are always louder,” Yubin continued. “And we did nothing to stop them, almost as if our silence agreed with them.”

“What are you saying-”

“I’m saying we didn’t do enough in time,” She stood up from her chair, enraged. “And pretending in front of everyone that it didn’t have any consequences it’s even worse. Y/n didn’t catch a mild cold, Y/n’s gone.”

Her last words bounced on the walls like an echo that consumed their minds little by little. They knew Dami was right. 

An strenuous fear invaded their bodies at once, one that repeated over and over that it was too late to get to you. That they could have prevented this by calling out those people bringing you down, it's not like they hadn't done it before. 

What use did it have to have songs all about stopping the hate and standing up for each other when they were the first ones that failed their own promise. 

The silence was broken when a manager opened the door, with his head down, wary of intruding the girl’s space. The girls jumped from their place, startled, hesitant. 

“Any news?” JiU stroke away a tear falling from her eye.

“Not yet, I’m so sorry.” The manager shook his head apologetic. JiU buried her hands on her face, dwelling on the heaviest silence surrounding the girls. The manager took a big sigh before continuing the message he was sent to deliver. “They’re waiting for you at the stage for rehearsal ladies, I can tell them you’ll be on your way in a moment-”

“We’re on our way…” SuA, after finishing an entire box of tissues was the first to stand up, fixing her clothes and rubbing her eyes.

Perplexed, the rest of the girls followed close. The halls silent as they traveled through them only allowed them to keep thinking about you. You who aside SuA would already be racing each other to the stage. Or maybe gossiping in the back with Gahyeon and Yoohyeon. Riding on the back of Siyeon or talking with Yubin about the latest book you read. Maybe asking JiU and Handong for advice on something about life. But your cheery, youthful voice was nowhere to be found and all the girls walked separately, their eyes fixated on the floor. 

The girls arrived at the stage, with the crew waiting for them to take their places. As usual, they introduced the group to the people working with them.

“Dream of me! Hello, we are Dreamcatcher!” They chorused together, aligned by age. Each one of them introduced themselves, one after the other. Gahyeon was last, but everyone remained silent, leaving the space for your name, a certain hope they could at least faintly hear you calling it. But there was only silence that cut like a knife through them. 

“Thank you for your hard work!” JiU swallowed heavily as each one of them took their places to start the choreography. There was a cold space between Siyeon and Yoohyeon left for you, and they could not stop looking at it, worried they might miss the moment you arrived to fill it.

The director called for the song to start, all the camera crew ready to go through the drill. The first beats started, the girls swiftly moving with the bass, hitting each count. But their eyes could focus correctly, always glancing to where you would be standing, a faint desire to catch your silhouette moving aside them, all of this just being a bad dream.

The girls each sang their part accordingly. But it was too much for SuA to handle when she was assigned to sing your parts. The dancing machine tripped on her own feet, falling on the floor in tears. All the girls ran to her aid, Gahyeon surrounding her with her arms as she couldn’t contain her tears either.

The director called for the music to stop, as managers rushed to surround them, some of them tearing up at the sight of the hopeless girls in front of them.

“This was her song!” SuA sobbed. “She wrote this song with a smile on her face and they took that away from her!”

The words coming out of the older girl made everyone without fault start shedding tears. They couldn’t continue like this, not without you.

Day 4

The days are getting even colder, and I’ve finally dared to look at the mirror. I even had forgotten that I still had makeup on, it’s all smudged on my pale, thin face. I managed to get most of it off, but my bare face didn’t look any better. There’s still swelling in my eyes, dark deep circles around them. My lips border the color purple and I can’t stop shivering. It doesn’t help that now I’m missing my member’s hugs…

- - - - - - - - - -

Day 5

With my bare face and my body in such a bad condition I don’t think anybody could recognize me out. There’s still some money on my wallet, maybe I’ll go buy some food at the corner store later. I should also start looking for another place to sleep, and someday, maybe someday I’ll have the guts to go back to the girls and explain everything. For now, even though I’m thankful for everything that I spent with them, I’ll root for them from afar. 

A few of the first rays of sun from the day traveled through the only high window in the room landing in your face, a warm morning kiss from the universe. You moaned as you stretched your sore limbs across the cold floor, lingering on the dryness of your mouth, before painfully reincorporating up. Your swollen eyes adjusted to the dim light of the room, carefully scanning their surroundings. Bird chirps with a light breeze ruffling the trees outside joined your heartbeat as the only things you could listen to. Settling with a sigh, you rested your back on the wall behind you, staying there for a few seconds that seemed a good amount of minutes for you.

A growl trembled through your body, emerging from your stomach. You reached for your bag, searching to see if there was anything left to satisfy your appetite, only able to get out a bunch of empty wrappers.

“Great, half a protein bar.” You unwrapped the piece of food, aggressively munching on it. You turned around to get your water bottle, unfortunately discovering it was empty too. “Ah, crap.”

You got your wallet out of your bag, carefully exploring it. You had enough money left to buy some stuff from the corner store, with some extra left. Carefully, you stood up, gathering all the strength from your aching body. Approaching the mirror, you opened the faucet and splashed your face with a bit of cold water. For once, you recognized your reflection, faintly smiling at it.

You grabbed your things, putting all your jackets on, your mask over your nose. You stared at Siyeon’s bucket hat, while a flood of bittersweet memories invaded your mind. You put it on, a soft feeling of protection emanating from it. After hanging your bag from your shoulder and checking your dead phone was there you faced the door, and opened it with a sigh, ready to explore your whereabouts. 

You walked the length of the alley to the street, warily scanning your surroundings. Traveling through the little street that seemed like an alley in itself, with only a one way path for one car to fit, not more than ten of them passed around in the day, you knew that because you counted them on your 4th day. A fairly quiet oasis in the frantic city that was Seoul, you were surprised you haven’t crossed paths with another human in that window of time. 

Recalling your time here, there were some voices that you sometimes listened to in the distance through the window in the room you hid. A couple of women of what you assumed were around 50 or 60, always gossiping about the latest stuff their families were up to; a group of children always shouting and playing ball on their way back home from school and a man that whistled always the same songs as he walked past the allie. 

You got to the corner, a little more city activity visible down the road. Across the street, a little convenience store sat open, the only visible person there was the owner, reading the newspaper with a Tv turned on in the news channel behind him. After checking the street for cars, you crossed, opening the door to the store. The owner lowered the newspaper to catch a glimpse of you, glancing from head to toe. Startled at your first human interaction since your escape, you politely bowed after taking a basket and then continued your way through the aisles of the store in silence.

Carefully listening to the news in the back to know what the world had been into while you isolated yourself, you put in the basket some packs of ramen and chips, before moving towards the beverage aisle. You picked up a large bottle, enough to last about three days if you rationed it fair enough. You traveled through the sweets aisle looking for something to treat yourself when your ears picked something from the TV that made a shiver travel through your spine.

“On entertainment news, DreamCatcher has decided to sit out promotions of their new comeback at least until there are news of the whereabouts of their youngest member.” The news anchor seriously remarked, you discreetly leaned closer to where the TV was, eager to listen more. “The police have been looking for her nonstop for five days now, and morale is low but the group isn’t giving up yet.”

You couldn’t contain a gasp escaping your mouth at the mention of your members, listening even more mindfully to the TV.

“The video uploaded to Dreamcatcher’s channel calling for everyone’s help in the search of information for Y/n location has been going viral all around Korea,” You turned to face the TV, an image of your members tired, with their eyes swollen. “It has also been used as another unfortunate example of what unwarranted harmful comments can do to people. With thousands of their fans and other artists standing up against harassment in her name.”

The TV drew you closer as a magnet towards itself, as the program continued.

“We can appreciate in the video that the members themselves cannot contain their tears, with members SuA and Gahyeon not talking at all while trying to swallow tears. As a strong leader JiU carries the video, calling for all hands on deck in this search.” The anchor reviewed their notes, releasing a clearly upset sigh. “We can only urge you to help in the search, and wish for the best possible outcome of this situation. We are all hoping for the best for this talented young lady.”

The program continued towards other news, leaving you there breathless. People out there, not only your members or fans, but a whole nation was out there looking for you. You swallowed the tears and bravely approached the counter.

“Excuse me sir,” You lowered your voice as much as you could, trying to make yourself unrecognizable. The man closed his newspaper aggressively, laying it on the counter, his eyes piercing through your conscience. “I- I couldn’t help myself, listening to the TV right now, do you know what happened to Dreamcatcher’s maknae?”

“Young lady,” The man’s voice sounded surprisingly tender, relief traveling in your body when he didn’t realize your true identity. “Where have you been lately? It’s been all over the news.”

“I-” You gulped, looking for an excuse. “I was studying hard for exams Sir.”

“Fair enough. Good luck on those.” He stood up from his chair and approached the counter, a faint smell of tobacco accompanying him. “Dreamcatcher’s maknae has been missing for about five days now. It’s believed she escaped because of the hate she got, the company even took legal actions against the people making the most damage.”

“Huh-” 

“Police have been searching every corner they can, boats already deployed on the Han river in case she… You know. But it’s been so long that faith has been wearing off, everyone is praying for a miracle, for her to be found alive,” He lowered his sight, fidgeting his hands on the counter. Your breath halted at his last words, your heart sinking in your chest as your tears were almost uncontainable. “Such a shame, my grandkid loves the group and she has been crying non-stop since the news broke out. I could see she had great potential.”

“She- she did?” You dared raising your eyes, surprised at the owner’s words. 

“She really did.” 

A tense silence took over your body, with a thousand ideas floating around in your brain. But there was one that took over all the others quickly enough. You only put the bag of chips and the bottle on the counter, getting your wallet out of your bag.

“I’m just going to need these two sir,” You mumbled as the owner scanned each item, bringing you the total amount to pay. “And a favor.”

“What would that favor be, young lady?” He answered as he counted the cash you handed to him, attentively handing you your items.

“Can you please call me a taxi?”

- - - - - - - - - -

The girls sat in silence on their dorm, their eyes filled with dark circles around following their sleepless nights worrying for you, the TV was full of news programs in the morning and they decided to ignore them since they only drilled them with your absence and the reminder that even the most professional teams searching for you could not locate you was pretty discouraging. 

“What if we never find her?” JiU was the first to burst into tears again, the biggest toll falling on her shoulders as she spent day and night on the sofa facing their dorm’s front door. Tears were common already as they couldn’t help but having their minds be filled with ideas they didn’t even want to explore.

Silence filled the air, making everyone turn their heads towards Yoohyeon and Siyeon, they had repeatedly answered everything negative the girls cried with encouragement. But on the dawn of the fifth day, they didn’t feel like raising the group morale when not even them felt so certain about the future either.

“I- don’t know.” Were the only words coming out of Siyeon’s mouth as a mumble, making all the other girls start tearing up again.

Swallowed sobs reigned the air until a soft hum stood out. Yubin’s gentle singing filled the air, the other girls recognizing the song immediately. Your song. One by one the other girls joined her, harmoniously swelling their surroundings with a much needed drop of hope for their soul. As the song continued, each one of them cuddled towards each other, seeking the warmth and comfort of their arms. A silent promise to deliver this and so much more to you if you ever came back. 

The song was arriving to their end, as silent once again reigned the room when a sigh from the leader broke through. JiU caressed the backs of the girls surrounding her,

“We’ll wait for her the time that we need too-” 

A knock in the door startled all the girls, making them jump to their feet. Conflicting emotions swirling around them. It could be a manager, asking them about activities details, a police officer coming to deliver bad news or maybe…

Handong was the first brave soul to open the door, bracing for whatever good or bad news was standing behind it. 

You stood there, rigid and nervous, your fists clenching your arms for dear life as the light of the room illuminated your silhouette. She recognized your figure immediately, with only the shock of the moment preventing her from moving either.

“Y/n?...” She whispered as a first reflex.

“I’m sorry.” You answered back, trembling. “I’m so sorry-”

You felt your hand being pulled into the room, with the weight of her body slamming against yours, followed by the screams and cries of the rest of the girls approaching.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” JiU cried as the group hug got tighter around you. 

“Welcome back home” SuA continued, her tears dampening your shoulder.

Every evil thought banished away from your mind when the familiar smell and warmth of your members surrounded you. A thousand attacks and insults could be headed your way, but it didn’t matter in the moment, a safety blanket protecting you in the form of the best people you had ever met in your life, it didn’t cross your mind to ever let them go, and they would never let you feel alone ever again. The promise beating hard in each of your hearts.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Hey guys! It’s Ash here.)

I hope you are doing good, as you have read all the way down, this one was filled with some heavy emotions. I just wanted to tell you all that, you are never alone and there will always be light at the end of the tunnel. If you struggle with intrusive negative thoughts, HERE you can find a masterpost with a lot of resourses for help. I’m also here if you ever want to chat. Stay safe, with love. Ash❤