#ive discovered im transmasc!!!!

[l3m0n-c0r3]

hi

uh

its a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

throws confetti everywhere prances off

i use he/she pronouns btw for those who didnt know before

[coldslaws-gear-station]

Really quickly in regards to a Lady centric thing I'm writing; was Penny regarded with his neopronouns while in the plasma frigate? Or was that a development after?

"really quickly" ME AND MY NO ASK NOTIFS.

anyways that was an after development <3

[mammoney-sama]

*taps mic* hi hello is this fandom still kicking

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🦖🥀 <- to find easier

WIBTA if i lied about being intersex to avoid coming out?

so im 18, about to start t (im transmasc). i am not out to most of my family. whenever i show up to my grandparents house they are probably going to ask about my appearence/voice or something. im thinking if i just lie and say i discovered i have an intersex condition recently because my body started masculinzing then i could get away with it? ive been dressing/looking masculine since i was like 10, so its not like i was super fem and then changed in a few monthes to be super masc. i think i have some kind of intersex condition anyway (i wont go into further detail cos i dont really want to talk about my genitals in the internet) but im too scared to go to a doctor and have them examine me so ive never really thought much of it. i dont want to be intersexist or anything and im sorry if the idea of this is just horrible or something and i apologize to the intersex community.

wibta?

[our-queer-experience]

Lately ive been having trouble about my gender identity like "Am i a butch or a trans guy"

Because i know damn well butches can be transmasc and take T but with all the surgery and other things i dream of, sometimes i wonder if im just a transhet guy in denial (terrifying thought. Imagine being straight) (joke)

Im fairly young so i know theres a lot of time for me to discover myself but ugghhh i think about it too much💔

thank you for sharing :) my inbox is always open if you want to get anything off your chest

[transfemme-shelterdog]

i had to leave my irl queer community because it was so hostile to masculinity. everyone assumed im cissexual (im cisgender and transexual) so they tried to force me to wear makeup and a dress. i said it makes me dysphoric and they didn't believe me until i said its because of sensory issues.

the organisers were horrible. one told me not to get surgery, insisting that i should "get therapy so you dont feel the need to transition like i did". i had no idea how to tell them that thats conversion therapy and illegal.

the other organiser (K) was significantly worse. he got pregnant and thats how i discovered my phobia of pregnancy. i expressed that i was just freaked out and he was.... extremely insistant that i should not start testosterone because he thought i should get pregnant. i was 15. K kept saying repeatedly that ill "regret it" if i start hrt because i should have a baby, even though hrt is not birth control. K got really creepy to the point of sexual harrassment. i was venting about dysphoria and wanting phalloplasty, so he said that i should try having sex to fix it (again, 15). he wouldn't leave me alone even when i said i was uncomfortable (and crying. and having a panic attack. right in front of him).

everyone did everything possible to stop my transition, even when it got into sexually harassing a teenager. i had to leave and now ive lost the only community i had. even years later im affected by it.

i still go to the place the group was held since its a medical center too, and eventually i told a nurse about K. i guess i get some sort of resolution seeing him taken off the list of staff.

I'm really sorry to hear that you went through all that Anon. You deserved to be treated so much better, and by other transmascs too. They of all people should know how their behaviour and claims come across and how traumatizing it would be to you.

I hope you're doing better and have found some sort of proper community of any sort ♡

[gor3sigil]

hi i dont really know how to introduce myself, so i hope you dont mind if i skip that part.

i just wanted to ask about that post you made a few days ago. in one of the last paragraphs you mention how hatching is painful. but is it supposed to feel like my entire world is cracking apart around me?

what you mentioned in the beginning of the post, about how the people around you felt about masculinity, that very aptly describes a lot of my fears of reactions to me identifying as masculine, which is what started me crying and ultimately spurred me to message you.

im just so scared

i have lots of trans people in my life, i just dont know how to talk about this with most of them (see: Very Scary :C) ive spent my whole life using femininity to take down peoples walls and help them feel comfortable around me. what the hell am i supposed to do as man? can i even still behave that way? will people even still trust me? will they like me? will they feel safe around me? its unbearable. every time i think about it my brain tries to run away, there's just so much fear.

is this normal at all? to be scared like this? i mean, considering i too struggle with the radical feminist narrative you mentioned? i dont believe the narrative, but i fear it. and then i get insecure and i cant stop thinking the insecurity an indication that manhood is the wrong direction for me.

am i making any sense?

Hi, it must've taken lots of strength to write all this so congrats to you. My answer will be based on my own experiences so take it with a grains of salt. Yeah, your world will definitely shatter too. Because even if you're just socially transitionning, if you do so while being surrounded by trans friends, most of them will change the way they percieve you so your interactions may change. I know that's scary, but you have to trust the process. If they're good friends, they won't like you less or anything. That's the hardest part I think. As you read in my post, coming ot made me lose tons of friends, most of them trans, because they treated me badly after I came out.

And yes, you are making sense. I went through the exact same fears as you. The fear of not being deemed as safe anymore. Unfortunately, I don't really have any solutions to offer you, appart from building your own community, online and/or IRL. Like I said, most of my trans friends were kinda crappy about me being masc and I struggled for years to feel comfortable in my masculinity as a result. Because I did the same as you, me being a "woman" was my way of saying that I understood the struggles of others and was safe. Let me stress one thing. You are still okay, you're not a bad person. Even if you discover new things about yourself, even if you're transmasc, even if you're transitionning (if you do), you are still very much the same person as before, with your understanding of a number of issues, with your own pas experiences.

It's a point I really can't stress enough. As I said in my post, you are still worthy of love, support, tenderness, being understood, being heard, being listened to, being comforted. One thing I noticed is that my previous friend tended to dismiss my feelings and/or be "rough" with me thinking that it was "affirming" because I was a man now. Let me tell you that that's BS and don't let anyone treat you this way.

Maybe try to test the water, idk if you came out already or not but maybe in your presentation or just by talking about transmasc specific issues with them, see how they react. That being said, I really do hope that your friends will be understanding. Or that by explaining to them how their behavior is wrong they will understand and act differently, because sometimes people so shit cause they don't know any better. I hope this helps, and I really wish you all the best. If you ever need to talk feel free to reach out again. Take care.

[gorbo-longstocking]

Omg hi I’m the anon about having a dream about chapter 9!!! Thank you so much,I’m looking forward to this absolutely work are art. THIS ISNT ME TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO but it would be cool if you could do more works like it! Loving the vibes of it a lot of maybe if you feel up to using similar media to write different stories would be so epic if you have thought of it! I just love how you write things and incorporate it all together it’s beautiful!!! Thank you so much again -🍒

GOD THIS IS SO SWEET. man, i think this about all of my projects when im working on them, but dare i day that i think dnbts is my most coherent and well put together one yet. i have a bad habit of not planning ahead and just going with the flow, and while im still doing that with dnbts, i have at the VERY LEAST and ending in mind for it! which is honestly more than i can say for my other fics.

speaking of which! if you ever wanted to read any of my other fics, while i dont think theyre as good as dnbts, a few have similar themes to the “i can fix them”isms, and a sweet but somewhat toxic relationships. and also they can be read fandom blind, I THINK???? along with some other future projects that i have planned. ill put all that information under the cut, and if you ever want the vibes for any of my fics, just check out the playlist for it! theyre all on my pinned post. itll tell you all you need to know

okay for fics im working on and have already published, if you like “do not blame the sea,” check out:

wolf, made for slaughter - an oc x canon polyamory endgame about a weirdo freak main character who used to be a mercenary under the tutelage of their abusive creator who they are a clone of moves to gotham and desperately tries not to be discovered as a criminal by batman while entering the most toxic yaoi imaginable with two rogues (scarecrow and riddler)

nemesis & nike - an undertale fanfiction, that… okay, to the uninvolved of the undertale fandom, lowkey needs some explaining. but basically, the first arc — which im still working on — is a survival horror where the main character (who is an autistic dog coded transmasc, i love those if you couldn’t tell) has to try not to be killed by vengeful alternate universe variants of sans and papyrus. and they all fall in gay love the end.

displeasures of the flesh - this is my transformers fanfiction that’s a romance featuring two background characters from the comics being forced into human bodies after their deaths. yn is a weirdo freak who finds one of them and they go on a journey to find his original giant robot body, falling in toxic love along the way. also his boyfriend shows up and a throuple happens. this one, while no where NEAR well written, has some of my favorite scenes and themes of anything ive ever written.

all three of these fics feature a trans main character, freaky/damaged love interests, and half toxic / half sweet romances. id say nemesis & nike are the least toxic and half of the love interests are all trying to kill the mc.

and as for future projects

out of sight, out of time - my book that i’m trying to publish, so i likely won’t post it anywhere online. however, if you want to read or stay updated with the draft, you can always dm me! i dont mind! it’s a time travel romantic comedy about an uptight roman centurion waking up in modern day kentucky and having a nuisances to lovers arc with a lazy but kind farmer

balm for the soul - sister fic to displeasures of the flesh featuring the other three members of the decepticon justice division x scientist reader. i have to finish displeasures of the flesh to start this one and that’ll take a WHILE.

metameric hearts - another original work that i don’t really know what to do with because it’s basically just monster porn. the plot is a human astronaut is shot into space in a one way trip to search for intelligent life. they are knocked off course and, coincidentally, picked up by an alien vessel in orbit of a small planet studying the microscopic lifeforms on the surface. its first contact for both species, three giant centipede scientists and one little human. there was supposed to be some humor there where the aliens are trying to hide the human from their superiors so the human doesn’t get carted away to be dissected. so darkly humorous.

commodus modern au x reader - no title for this one yet, but we were talking about it in the server and i MUST write it one day. basically yn works at a restaurant as a waiter, and their coworkers is maximus, who is a bartender. commodus shows up to deliver maximus a message from lucilla, but winds up sitting down to eat during the slow hours and you are his waiter. in short, you are nice to him and accidentally validate him during his bad day with your stellar customer service and he becomes pathetically hyperfixated on you. love fails!

oneshot modern au caracalla x alga - i just listened to lost kitten by metric once and saw visions of modern caralga. if i need a palate cleanser from writing dnbts ill cook this up

possible assassins creed odyssey longfic featuring stentor x reader - this would be the most similar one to dnbts as its set in ancient greece and it’d be a time travel romance because i LOVE those. this is my favorite game btw chat.

possible star wars isekai x reader fic - i had this plotted out in my head last summer but i didnt write anything down except in my qpps discord dms so. we shall see if this ever comes to fruition but i really really like the idea. it’d be clone centric because i FUCKING LOOOOOVE the clones

possible doctor who doctor x time lord!reader - featuring themes of identity, trauma, and toxic yaoi. no clue when ill get around to this as i genuinely don’t remember anything about doctor who but TRUST this is a yaoi so toxic. sad miserable sweaty yn shaking like a chihuahua while this fucking alien projects all of his hopes onto them

[farmerlesbian]

hi farmer lesbian!

so ive identified as bisexual for a long time but ive discovered recently i feel very comfortable within the lesbian ideas of gender and specifically the butchfemme community. i’ve been dating someone recently who also identified as bisexual but has related to transmasc lesbians understanding of gender as well as posts about butches. we both kind of see ourselves within the butchfemme dynamic but i’ve been very tough on myself with calling myself a lesbian because i’ve dated a man before (…in middle school..)

it’s gotten to the point where i’m really worried to label myself because of what it’d imply for my partner? but also what people would say? and while i know i dont HAVE to label myself it just sucks to know theres an identity im drawn to and feel like i fit into that i cant immediately slip into

hmm i'm not really sure how to guide you here. i guess i want to challenge you on some of the things you're saying here, it feels like you're coming at this from maybe the "wrong" angle (wrong feels too harsh a word, maybe just not the most helpful angle)

you're worried you can't call yourself a lesbian because you dated a boy in middle school? i think.. a LOT of lesbians dated boys in jr. high and high school and there are lots of late in life lesbians who were married to men for years before figuring out who they are and coming out. this is all completely normal and common. like, dating one boy in middle school doesn't really mean much tbh. i wouldn't base your identity or label you use around something like that. i dated a bunch of boys in high school and early college when i was still figuring out who i was. your labels or identity or gender or sexuality don't need to account for all you life experiences and past. it's not so much about your sexual history but describing who you are *now*, what you're interested in, in the present.

you say both you and your partner really like Lesbian Genders and butch/femme stuff. that's nice, but liking and relating to lesbian culture and gender stuff doesn't make you a lesbian haha! it's who you're attracted to and who you're not, that determines your orientation. gender and orientation are different things, as i'm sure you know. obviously very connected and stuff. like, for example, just because someone identifies as a man it doesn't make him straight, even though heterosexuality is an integral part of manhood, in the dominant culture. gay trans men are certainly not rare! the same goes for you guys.

also, remember that transmasculinity is a broad umbrella and encompasses a wide variety of people and their identities and experiences. plenty of butches aren't transmasc, and probably most transmascs aren't butch.

i will tell you that in the course of running this blog and being on the internet, i've probably seen and shared thousands of photos and drawing of people. not once have i ever seen something that represents me and my wife. if you are seeking out representation or examples of the options to be, in order to figure out who/what you are, i would advise against that. seek what feels true to you, what feels honest and right. you do not need to be similar to other people in order to find belonging, acceptance, and community. (though of course this is absolutely nothing wrong or bad if you do find others just like you, if you do fit in to existing roles and dynamics! that is of course perfectly normal!)

now, i don't know you or your partner. you know yourselves best. i can't tell you what you really are or really aren't. and i certainly am not going to tell you what you can or can't be! everything i'm saying here is to prompt you to think about and questions to ponder for yourself.

so, i think you have some points to think about, why have you been identifying as bisexual? what is drawing you to the lesbian label? have you tried using 0 labels and not thinking about your identity or labels for at least a month or two (if not a several months) and then coming back and evaluating it afresh? what about the butch-femme dynamic are you drawn to? what is holding you back? you are allowed to discover that you are a lesbian! or you are allowed to continue to be bisexual! i can't tell you who you are - but you're allowed to be and do whatever you want, whatever feels true to you! even if it doesn't make sense to other people or you don't see anyone else like you out there. you gotta be a little bit brave!

hang in there, and sending much love to you and yours! 🧡

[boy-above]

on this pride month i've decided that the current closest descriptor for my gender is...

i'm gonna do a whole lot of talking abt my gender and stuff, honestly it's mostly for myself to organize my thoughts but i do like talking abt myself sometimes so if you read, thank you i guess

before i figured out i was a boy i ID'd as nonbinary for several years, i was hesitant to ID as masculine because at the time the community was so drenched with radfem ideology that myself and a lot of other transmascs were afraid to come out / even think about exploring masculinity because we were constantly being told how evil men were all the time. so instead i went through like, so many nonbinary labels, but none of them really suited me, i discovered. agender, bigender, genderfluid, i tried a lot of them. the thing is that i knew i didn't want to be a Girl, but was very hesitant to consider i was a Boy because of the previously mentioned radfem rhetoric being spread. this isn't a post to talk about that though, you've heard a lot about that from me already lmao. it's just an important component of the struggles with gender i had growing up.

anyway, once i finally accepted i was a boy, i was excited. i checked the boxes for a trans man, i wanted a dick (and am still mad i don't have one), i wanted he/him pronouns, i was comfortable being called a boy, etc. and i still want all of those things, so why am i starting to question the trans man label?

i think mostly it comes down to how my gender has been shaped by societal and environmental expectations. i have gender dysphoria but not in an entirely "traditional" way. i want a dick, i want a flat chest, i want a deeper voice. but im also gender nonconforming, and have no interest trying to do traditionally masculine things to "fit in" with cis men. i don't think femininity is some horrible thing to be avoided, i like a lot of feminine things and don't think so many things should be gendered in the first place. i don't think trying hormones would fix me because there's other ways i Don't want to look like a man. if anything i would say Nothing can truly fix my dysphoria because i don't want to look like Anything. there is no perfect me i can envision in my head, if anything i don't even want to look human; i don't even want to be perceived. there's also parts of me that no amount of surgery to fix, im only 4'9 for example, and even cis men get berated for being short let alone trans men.

that's why i've only told my immediate family, my friends, and my doctor that i'm a boy. i never plan of publicly coming out. on the rare occasion i do, i settle with they/them instead of my preferred he/him because it's just easier that way. you get a lot of laughing and eyerolling as a feminine looking person if you try to use he/him. ive been trans for so many years but i can never truly escape the chance that people might perceive me as a "trender" (hate that word, gag) because i simply don't pass. and then of course there's my parents who refuse to use he/him and will only use they/them. they know i want he/him but they won't even try. they're just like "you can't really expect us to call you a boy."

i have so much sympathy for fellow closeted people. the community never considers you and it ends up being a lonely place. you don't fit in with cis people but other trans people don't want you. once i read a piece called "i am a trans woman, i am in the closet, i am not coming out." and i can't even tell you how important that writing was to me. i read it at just the right time, years ago when i think i really needed it. it's one of the only things that made me feel like staying in the closet was an option. that i can only be out where i feel safe.

i've questioned before if my gender nonconformity and the way people treat non-passing individuals is the true reason i've become skeptical of my trans man identity. i think most likely it is, i think that if we lived in a world where it was perfectly socially exceptable to be a feminine trans man and people in public would accept me and treat me like a boy, i'd have no problem saying "i'm a trans man", but we don't live in that world. the world we're in right now has no room for people like me, and it's something i've had to accept. another thing worth mentioning is that i don't even really like the word 'man' being applied to me, i just felt like i had to use it because some people treat trans boys badly if they prefer 'boy' over 'man'. but i like being a boy. the word boy suits me better. the word man just doesn't seem applicable to me. i'm not masculine enough and the word just feels kinda wrong in my brain, the same way being called "handsome" does. i want to be cute, and calling me handsome would just be inaccurate. do you get what im saying?

but anyway, i think demiboy suits me because its more 'loose' than trans man for lack of a better word. its less specific and i think thats what i need right now. im a boy, but calling myself binary doesnt quite feel right. calling myself nonbinary also doesnt feel right though. like i said i ID'd as nonbinary for several years so i have no problem with the label in general, it just doesnt feel right when applied to me personally. it's kinda weird to describe, i know demiboy is not a binary identity, therefore is by definition nonbinary, but the word nonbinary itself just doesnt vibe with me, so i guess i would prefer not to call myself nonbinary??? i dont know how to describe it, it's just a labels thing. because like i said, i feel like trans boy isnt an entirely wrong way to describe me Either. im rambling now because i know my labels problem doesnt make sense. anyway uh yeah. i'm a demiboy. and for anyone who didn't see the post i made a while back, i use he/him and sometimes it/its. unenthusiastically throws a handful of confetti

[celibat]

gonna be rambling abt my past relationship and masculinity and the butch identity a little...

I used to rlly strongly identify with the butch identity and discovering butchness is what rlly helped me discover and grow comfortable in both my lesbianism and my butchness. Yknow I did the whole reading Stone Butch Blues and having my world changed forever thing.

Fast forward to my relationship with my ex, and I dont want to talk too badly of her and a lot of it came from myself too, but she met me in a time where I was doubting my masculinity bc of societal pressure and our relationship definitely furthered that. I had grown my hair out atp and I started dressing a lot more femininely. Still pretty androgynous by societal standards, but definitely not what it used to be or what Im slowly returning to now. I stopped calling myself butch bc I felt like an imposter atp. But the biggest thing was how my girlfriend interacted with my masculinity and Im just not realizing that honestly it was kind of shitty of her. She always liked me being feminine and openly laughed at me when I expressed seeing myself as someone masculine... She didnt want me cutting my hair or dressing more masculine. She supported my identity of course but she always made sure to tell me what she loved abt me was that I "didnt look like other boys". One time she told me she wouldnt be attracted to me if I "was like other transmascs" aka masculine I suppose. And ofc at the end of the day it was my choice at the time to start presenting more femininely, and its not like my girlfriend, a trans woman, was being transphobic or anything, I just think she wasnt attracted to masculinity and thats fine. And I talked myself into it, that the butch identity would be restricting to me, etc etc.

But now that Im started to rediscovered my masculinity- and ofc Im still faggy and oftentimes androgynous in my presentation - its rlly starting to kick in how uncomfortable I was with it all and how mucg of it was just societal pressure wearing me down not queer fluidity in expression or whatever. And recently Ive been flirting with and chatting with someone a little, whos very open about loving masculinity and butches. And its just incredibly comforting and validating and just nice to be seen in that way. To be specifically desired as someone masculine, as a Butch. Idk its just so different and its making me rlly fall back in love with my identity and with being a lesbian.🤍

[tigersorange]

im writing transfem ocelot transmasc kaz porn instead of working on my longfic 💋 ive discovered that i can just spin a wheel and transgender them however i want whenever i want and im using my powers for good

[tuerescringe]

Pinned Post!

(because people are following me and it is so so scary)

- You can either call me Spoob or Hal. (yes, I am transmasc, har har)

- Ive only recently discovered Redacted Asmr but Im a good ways in, the only playlists I havent fully listened to are Carpe Deus, Project Meridian, Blake’s, and The Imperium. (im making headway though!)

- My favorites are Guy, Milo, David, the entirety of the D.A.M.N Crew, and Avior

- Im actually much more of an artists than I am a writer! So if you ever have a silly doodle request please send it my way.

- Im perfectly fine with interacting with people, I will not bite your head off if you send me an ask or something I swear.

- I do enjoy other ASMR artists but I’m not as hooked on their stories and characters as Redacted, this is not me saying that they are bad, but that I am unfortunately a picky bitch.

- I might be a little inactive at times, I am just bad at managing social media in its entirety.

- I have Tags! #cringe.txt and #cringe.pic for Redacted related posts! If its not related and Im just speaking to speak it’ll probably be tagged with #spoob.txt

- I LOVE AUS. PLEASE SHARE YOUR AU IDEAS.

- NSFW talk is fine with me, Im on the ace-spectrum so its not a Big interest of mine but I support your horn dog endeavors!

- I don’t particularly care for drama, please avoid bringing all of that into my space. We stay Silly here.

[moonssugar]

10, 16, & 20 for the pride asks please! :)

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

lets start off with 20 because its defintely the funniest lmaoooo

my main character sam is transmasc (a trans boy) and my tertiary protag is a lesbian (aubry) and she discovers this as the story goes out and let me to tell you there is nothing more hilarious than 1. writing and thinking extensively about how your character is a lesbian and pouring so much into that while being in total denial about yourself and 2. discovering even more about your own inwards trans feelings by giving your transmasc oc 90% of your personality and also through metaphor and symbolism by making a lot of the story a trans analogy. but wait, the character i see the most of myself in, sam, is transmasc but aubry, the second character i see so much of myself in, is a lesbian so how can these seemingly contradictory things be true simultaneously you ask? well it turns out that im a transmasc lesbian. who couldve saw that coming, right? (me. i saw this coming). still the funniest fucking thing about me like "yeah go ahead and tell yourself a story and accidently awaken something in yourself, this will be so funny and cool" and honestly it is so cool! one of the most writing things ive ever done

10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?

yes they do! sam has been to a local pride parade/event at some point with his parents (who are bi4bi). he also has a trans flag hanging up in his room that dual functions as a symbol of pride and also a window curtain that turns his room pink and blue at certain times of the day (its intentional). chelsie celebrates pride as well, mostly through self expression like with her clothing and style but she loves pride events too and collecting little pride themed objects that end up in random places. i feel like chelsie's way of celebrating pride is chaotic and spontaneous which suits her. both of them have pride themed bracelets and backpack pins, you know the baby queer stuff i love (i still love the baby queer stuff idc) and sam has trans, bi and rainbow themed tie dye shirts he made and loves to wear. aubry has never seen any pride flag or been to an event and she didnt even know gay people existed as well people and not the boogyman or theoretical person she heard about in church until she realized she was gay and met other queer people (and she literally has two dads LOL). but once she does she cant get enough of rainbows and the lesbian flag which in the alternate universe world where shes from no one knows its meant to symbolize queerness. so she gets to walk around with flags and colors that no one recognizes except her and her family. its hilarious, its her own "no one knows im a lesbian" pin. they just think shes from a different country or something (where all the pretty girls are from). sam and chelsie gifted her a lesbian flag through their mail system once she returned home and she cherishes it. mostly, i'd say my characters celebrate pride through living, being who they want to be and uplifting each other amd they love their glitter, music, make up, tie dye shirts, flags and rainbows too

16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?

my character's queer identities have been pretty solid since inception and through their development, its one of the things that have changed the least about them. sam used to be some flavor of trans/nonbinary but there are other nonbinary characters in my story now and sam ids with transmasc the most instead of nonbinary. chelsie has always been transfem as far as i can remember although i mightve imagined her cis one single time and then said "nah im gonna trans your gender no way in hell youre cis" when i didnt feel connected to her characterization [transgenderfication beam]. and aubry has remained gay as hell even as she started off as a completely different person that split into two then i used one half of the personality, refurbished it by gave it some religious trauma, pining and autism to create modern aubry then used the other half for something else. everyone else's personalities have started at the surface level idea of who i think they are and deepened and complexified from there and thats even more intricate than i could describe in one sitting and not always specifically about their queer identity

oh i almost forgot! one character (benjamin, aubry's father) has a bi panic awakening after he went through life identifying as gay and instead of a guy being the source of the panic it was aubry's mother (valid, i'd panic if i saw her too). his character started off as gay but aubry didn't hatch from a magic egg or grow from a pumpkin in a patch or fall to earth like a shooting start (amos's many joke versions of the birds and bees, amos is married to benjamin and is her dad #2) so i needed an explanation for that. he also discovers he's polyamorous in the process so good for him! other characters have become noticeably less cis over time but were already kinda gender weird to begin with if i squinted hard enough. like are you really cis if im writing you? be fr

also, sam's parents in my mind

[certified-moth]

Ive really noticed that as i get older ive moved away from hyperspecific labels, which is kind of funny, because thats actually aligning with me discovering my autism (which i know actually causes a lot of autistic people to get really into labels)

In the past 6 years, ive gone from being an oriented aroace transmasc with very specific identifiers for how i felt about romance, gender, etc, to just calling myself queer.

Its a bit funny, but im not any less queer now, im still not cis, i still dont feel attraction, but the less i worry about labels, the better i feel. I dont have to moniter every thing i feel and make sure it aligns with my labels, i just do what feels right for me.

Its very freeing tbh

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

are u comfy going more into detail abt the transandrophobia at ur college? im curious abt how this shit manifests in IRL queer spaces

Yea sure, ive mentioned bits and pieces in the tags of some rbs so i might as well talk abt it properly

The one biggest issue was the way they dealt with the tdor event they hosted. Transmascs were completely erased from the narrative. For example, they had some displays with pictures and names of trans people, those who died and those who are still alive and thriving. Out of ~2 dozen pictures, there was one or maybe two transmascs on there. That is a terrible ratio

The only guy on there who was definitely transmasc had only come out in the past year and had alrrady been a well established celebrity before then, so he wouldnt have been my first choice for "still made it despite the hardships of being trans" yk ? It felt like they didnt even try. The transfemme selections seemed to be a lot more well rounded, with some cool smaller names to discover.

Otherwise, theres just been a general trend of them doing,,, nothing for transmascs at all despite them claiming to be an org for all trans ppl. Most of the events are exclusive to femme aligned ppl, with the rest being general events open to all. Almost all of the ppl featured on their socials, wall art, etc, are femme presenting. A couple times the language in the physical space got a bit too close to "all men are bad lol" for comfort

They also just . seem to assume gender more than the other queer space here ? Like when they were handing out fliers at the beginning of the year they gave one to me specifically (cis girl passing esp at the time) and ignored all the other masc presenting ppl in the immediate area despite . yk. you cant tell if someone is trans just by looking at them. My pronouns get messed up way more often over there too

All in all theres just been this pattern of pervasive discomfort and borderline erasure and they need to get their shit together if they want to live up to their claims of being trans inclusive

Note :

What im not saying is they should care less abt transfemmes and other femme aligned ppl. Im not saying they should get rid of their events or care less abt them on tdor. (I have a book on my reading list im excited to read that i learned abt through that tdor event!)

What i am saying is they should be doing more for transmascs, adding more events, and putting more care into things