#ive been working on this a bit it took me so long to get these designs where I wanted em :D
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redraw of a galo from last year!!! :3
side-by-side comparison :-)
#i thought this didnt take too long and apperantly it took like 7 hours. i thought it was like 3 or 4.#my sense of time is. a bit skewed n fucked up.#promare#galo thymos#my fav rooster ever#my art#i kinda rlly love how this one turned out :D i think ive improved a lot too DJAHGSHG i love doing redraws sm#like the pose is way closer to what i was imagining and mmm yeah its also just more dynamic n his body doesnt cut off awkwardly#i like the colors and face better#i do think the og has a lot of charm. i dont hate it or anything. i just like seeing how far ive come :)#this time around i also had a way easier time identifying what was bugging me while i was working on it and actually addressing those thing#like i resized his head a lot n tilted his whole upper body etc#idk ive just been getting more comfortable and confident with my art :)))#ok enough. ENOUGHHHHH. anyways i love galo so much ok thats all
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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aouuugh my uterus......
#long long day at work codeine wasnt helping with cramps and my meds are less effective on my period :(#ive been doing okay most of the day tho just starting feeling kind of miserable omw home bc such a long wait at the bus stop in pain#and im kind of lonely at the moment but wont be able to climb tomorrow bc of cramps so thats my main social source gone :(#and it always feels worse at home bc if im having a hard time like in physical pain or feeling down my roommate cant rly handle it#like she cant rly be in the room with me the headphones go straight on. which is ok im realising its just how her type of autism works#so im trying not to get as upset at her abt it. with varying degrees of success but it just takes time#i mean i dont get upset AT her like ik its not her fault and i dont want her feeling like it is. I keep it internal + cry once im alone#just different social needs n boundaries innit. we're a bit incompatible is all#but its still hard. I'd like support from other ppl when I'm struggling i mean i think thats a fairly normal thing to want#but of the friends I would be comfortable talking to abt how i feel none of them have that kind of emotional availability#which again is ok like its not on them. and im very capable of dealing w my shit myself one way or another so its not a Need#but idk. it would just be nice. I feel like I've had to be so independent most of my teenage and adult life and I wish I could take a#break from that sometimes. even just a hug would be nice man#sorry i always come on here and talk abt the same problems... well youll see me do it again no doubt abt that 🫠#ughh and i feel so guilty for wanting things ppl cant give even though i know its not really my fault either and im allowed to want things#and i dont cross boundaries or make them feel bad abt it. i really hope i dont anyway. but still ahhh...#its so hard for me to feel connected to anyone if they cant rly engage w me emotionally at all like its a non negotiable#factor into closeness and trust for me and i get so frustrated bc i feel so distant and alienated from the ppl i care abt most#and ik i overreact bc of my rsd so maybe its just that its probably not even a real issue. but its real to me bc im the one who gets upset#man. anyway its okay just a really really long day. im gonna wash my dishes and then shower#and finish my book. maybe i should play some dead cells i miss it. i dont really want to think abt how i feel anymore#maybe ill see if anyones free to hang out tmr evening so i dont have to feel as lonely even if i cant leave the house after work#all good nice to have a plan anyway. done sniffling. my hot water bottle is helping thr cramps a littlr i think#.diaries#oh i dont think its helping actually ow. i took more codeine an hour ago why doesnt it do anything. not fairrr 😭
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my recording of the mohg fight, very glad to say that his fight is extremely fun :)
#ohhh this took ages to finally work in this post lol. anyways mohg fight. ridiculously fun.#elden ring#mohg#mohg lord of blood#yeah ill put this in main tags. full mohg fight. for the mohg enjoyers ig i really liked this fight#lots of like. particles being flung around but it never felt like bullshit so it was a fun while to fight him#my post#the 'jump for joy' in the phase change was planned while the 'my thanks' at the end wasnt which is why i do pull up the menu for that one#i left him alone for the nihil as a self-imposed 'gay penalty' bc i didnt want to just like. shred him during it yknow#he can have his theatrics for his healing and phase transition. a bit of respect with the 'my thanks' yknow i like him + the dynasty bit#hes got a funny little buddy in varre and a nice little grinding spot among all the blood soaked atrocities#ive heard ansbach is neat too. n ive been using bloody slash since the moment i got it so in a way ive been chilling with lord of blood#related stuff for a p long time. tbh its neat how varre is the first proper person you meet while mohg is arguably the most hidden demigod#dont think i have any bonus commentary with this one besides i got rlly fucking lucky later in this. yknow the bit lmao#always through him being extra vulnerable to bleed was funny but he apparently gets the lord of blood's exultation buff on bleed procs#so thats a rlly neat thing i found out- i ended up using that talisman for the fight (you can see it under the stamina bar a few times)#it is funny to me that his in-battle dialogue subtitles are all lowercase and lack punctuation beyond accent markings#anyways beyond the final boss the only boss i have left is malenia which should be. fucking fun. i'll get vids of that one for sure#i might get my first attempt at her bc that might be a fun comparison point when i manage to beat her#'my recording of the mohg fight' feels very like. professional. i just got it captured on ps4. it was a random attempt that was successful
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drawing my time traveler character bc she was the only good thing to come out of my concept art/3d modeling class (i learned nothing about character design or 3d modeling and this character was the only assignment actually about character design that we did (i did my senior project on character design and learned way more about it than a whole semester long class that was supposed to teach me it))
im also going insane trying to track down the shoes i used for inspiration for hers but alas i cant find them
#my art#original character#oc#uh she still doesn't have a name but eh#also i really wish i couldve kept the original photoshop file of her but when i tried to move it into my google drive it wouldnt let me :(#mustve been something with the school network or something but still#god even though ive graduated already and dont have to deal with that class anymore i still wish i never took it#the teacher did not teach very well and that class was soul sucking to be in (it also didnt help that we had block schedule so it was a#2 hour class)#giving us old pdfs on learning maya from 2011.... making us copy some other guys drawing but not really in a way to learn from him or his#character design...#dumping her family issues on literally everyone who came into the class (i had to listen to this all the time bc i sat at the front)#i mean at least the teacher liked me i guess but that didnt help the class like. at all.#digital drawing for concept art / 3d modeling my beloathed#anyways for this assignment specifically (the time traveler)#she gave us a book to look at with. character design stuff? i think? and the page we were looking at had some time travel agent woman#concept art on it#that design was really dumb looking imo but it was also probably pretty early concept art for a game so i dont blame it much#it was some generic hot woman with long platinum blonde hair (described as strange despite it not being strange at all)#and wearing a suit that conveniently showed cleavage and had a thigh slit on her skirt#she was holding some old ass briefcase and one of those plastic umbrellas with polka dots on it (the umbrella was her time travel device or#whatever)#the teacher told us we had to make a time traveler so i set out to yassify and transify this design a bit#i think the only sort of character design tip we learned during this whole like. month we worked on this for was to make a moodboard of#our ideas#but eh i still really like the design i made and i was able to get nice and creative with ut#just wish i was able to save it on my own computer and not the school computer :(#2023#oc tag
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mm
#i miss my dog#long story short my first baby that was my own was a puppy that i adopted with my ex#her name is Sarah and she was a rottie/german sheperd mix and was absolutely beautiful#and since ex was recovering from surgery when we got her i raised her from a baby#and did all her training and took her out to parks and new places and just totally threw myself into taking care of her#she was so well trained and so sweet and so nervous all the time. i worked on confidence building with her and she trusted me so much#she listened to me over anyone else and ran to hide behind me when she was anxious and would let me do things she wouldnt let anyone elsedo#and then. of course. when we split up my ex took her with her.#i got the second puppy we'd been raising for a few months at that point.#her logic was that she picked Sarah out so she was hers and I picked Lucas out so he was mine#and it's not that I don't love him but I miss that dog so so much. she's reactive and hard to deal with and my ex just. never dealt with it#when we were together i was the one working on it and taking her out in public even though it was hard and walking her#so i know shes not getting the kind of care she needs. which makes it even fucking harder.#just. im trying to love the dog that I have and i do love him. i do! but she was my baby and i miss her so so much and i know shes not okay#ive been trying to give myself grace and know that i wont have as much of a bond with Lucas as i did with her right away and thats okay#but i know that i resent it a little bit every time im reminded that he's not her. and its going away#but slowly. and im trying to lean into doing the kind of things i did with her like training and confidence building and bonding#but ive been avoiding it because it makes me sad every time. but the lil fucker deserves better. and he needs some manners.#so im gonna work through it and just. do it with him. treat him with as much love as i did her when she was growing up.#itll either get better with time or it wont and ill deal with it when i get to it#but fuck do i miss her so much
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Ive been playing the longing and I was planning on staying in the caves and waiting it out even after realizing that escape might be an option but then I walked into the darkness for the first time and. Nevermind I'm getting the shade out no matter how many stupid puzzles that are super obvious but I'm not observant enough to figure out until I've spent far too long wandering through the kingdom with a mushroom trying to figure out where to plant it I'm forced to face
#rat rambles#its a pretty good game so far Im rly enjoying it#I appreciate its vision a lot I enjoy the commitment to the bit#I also like the shade theyve been growing on me hard#poor sad wet cat who has mad daddy issues#also I enjoyed finding out they will still work through a book if you close the game while having one open and having auto flip on#I sat them down to read moby dick and went to bed and woke up the next day with a week of in game time having passed and the book finished#enriched and in their element#this is the first game Ive played in a while where I dont rly have any major spoilers so Ive been enjoying furthering quests more#Immm not exactly sure what to do to get past the eyes in the dark but I think I have an idea#I know I need to not be seen so Im thinking maybe I can idle until the shade falls asleep or smth?#I also need to try out the other option on the multichoice thought box you get when you idle#I usually choose the wait and see option because I was scared of making them feel worse#but now I want to get them to the surface if I can so I should see if that changes anything#note: I am idling in the darkness as I type this post this is entirely to kill time#if anyone in the crowd knows abt this game dont spoil anything Im enjoying my relatively spoiler free experience#but yeah Ive mostly just been trying to finish their checklist of wants and Ive done pretty well so far I think#Ive gotten all the crystals and all the colors and even made all their lice pictures in the different colors#I havent gotten their bed yet but I'm close I just need one more wood and a few more bits of moss#I still need to hunt in the hall of eternity a bit more in case theres more books or furniture there but I assume I got most of it?#oh hey dialogue time#OHHHH..... OHHHHHHH....#ok so maybe Im a lil stupid#but also I 100% had the right idea with idling in the dark#oh god damnit they opened their eyes again while I was typing#ok back to being idle then I guess.#god damnit that took so fucking long#oh well. at least that new dialogue was fun.#its also reassuring. Im glad they can have a goal like this.
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it's official, im no longer allowed to have anything as my own unless i hide it deep within my room
#this is so fucking petty but im pissed#i bought five energy drinks yesterday only because it was 5 for $5. im broke as shit but i wanted to buy myself something as a treat.#i never buy myself anything anymore and i never really ask for anything either because my mom has to buy a fair bit for my friend#so this was the one and only treat ive allowed myself to get in a long while.#i drank one yesterday and put the rest in the fridge with a sticky note on them that had my name on it#and this morning i found my friend took from it without even asking. when they literally had my NAME on it and everything#im sorry. maybe id be fine with sharing if she had bothered to ask. but for the love of fucking god im pissed#she has a job!!! she has the money to buy herself nice shit!!!#i spent my last fucking $5 bill on this one fucking nice thing for myself after not buying myself anything for well over a month#and i can't even have that.#i took the rest up to my room and i gotta find somewhere to put them#i have snacks up here too because she tends to eat all my snacks before i even have the chance to try them so i have to hide them#ive struggled with some degree of hoarding tendencies for a while now and i thought i was getting better but over the past two months it -#- feels like all of my progress has been reverted#i know it's stupid to get worked up over fucking energy drinks. but its not even the drinks themselves that are the problem.#its just the fact that in my own home the only way im allowed to keep anything for myself is if i hoard it in my room and keep it hidden -#- because otherwise it'll be taken or used in some way#all without anyone even acknowledging me or the fact that these things are mine
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im sorry i but i have to get in on this sonic movie s shadow train i love this movie so much as well! And ive been dieing for some movie shadow x readers to pop up. Is it alright if i request something? Can we have a shadow the hedgehog x reader where you also are living in the g.u.n base maria and shadow were? Your father or mother being on of the scientists and one day maria and shadow find you alone in a corner of the base writing music or playing with toys something (your marias age). Thrn they introuce themselfs and maybe you become part of their gaggle of fraggles to always being with them to the point your mother and gerald agree for you and maria both to share a room. With you shadow and maria being so close in time till your all like siblings? Idk this just sounded so cute. Thank you of your able to write this!
Birds of a Feather
pairings: Shadow the Hedgehog x reader x Maria Robotnik (platonic)
warnings: none!!!
summary: after being brought to work with your mother, Maria and Shadow stumble upon you, deciding to invite you to join their little group, from then on the three of you became inseparable
a/n: this is such a cute request! I was gonna end it with both Maria and the reader dying but I think Shadow has been traumatized enough for now…
“You stay put! I have work to do in the lab okay?” Your mother’s voice was stern; being a single mother was tough, especially because she had no one to take care of you while she did her work. You gave her a small nod, acknowledging her request.
A slight sigh escaped her lips as she lightly caressed your cheek, “Just, behave for me please,” was the last thing she told you before she walked into the door to your right, the words ‘Laboratory’ in bright white above the area.
You slowly sat down on the floor, she’d asked you to not leave and you really wanted to respect her decision, even as a child you knew her life was harder than she’d let on.
Unfortunately you were a child with a small attention span. You dug into your pockets and found a small notebook with equations, probably from your mom and a small pencil. Since there was nothing better to do maybe it was best to just draw a little bit, maybe some flowers and animals you liked.
Sitting there, you slightly hunched over, trying your hardest to draw the most beautiful roses and some bees and landscape you could. Suddenly a voice rang out from above you, “What are you doing here?” Your head snapped up, meeting the eyes of a small blonde girl and a strange black and red hedgehog.
“Uhm my mom works here..” you nervously answered her, “What are you doing here?” You asked her exact question but back at her.
“My grandfather works here!” She proudly exclaimed. The hedgehog looked between the both of you, he stood covered behind her, he had a mean face but you could tell he was more curious than anything.
The girl taking note of the awkward silence decided to introduce herself, “I’m Maria! And this is Shadow! What’s your name?”
You looked between the two, taking in who they were before you quietly responded with your name, Maria let out a big grin and Shadow silently repeated it to himself, “What are you drawing?” Maria asked, looking at the small notebook in your hand. You looked down at it and turned it over so the two could see; it looked like a small rabbit with butterflies and flowers around it, “Woah that looks really cool!”
Shadow silently nodded, agreeing with her. You thanked the two of them, fidgeting with your pencil. As Maria continued to talk you took notice of her outfit, she wore a pastel rainbow long sleeve shirt and loose pants with skates on her feet instead of shoes. She must’ve noticed you staring at them as she suddenly asked, “Do you wanna try them!?”
You hesitantly shook your head, as much as you wanted to you didn’t really know her and if she would even be okay with that. Maria reassured you that it was fine and actually really fun, before you could tell her a definite no she’d already taken them off, placing them in front of you, “Try them! Shadow can pull you around,”
Shadow looked between the both of you, clearly not having agreed but Maria nodded her head yes, leaving Shadow to only agree. Surely your mom wouldn’t notice if you were gone for a quick second.
Once you were geared up and Maria found a rope to tie onto Shadow and for you to hold, she grabbed her timer, “Ready, set, go!!” Before you had time to really brace yourself Shadow had already set off, he ran through the base, his face held a small smile as he checked back a few times to check if you were still holding on.
He saw the wide smile you had, your laughter was echoing throughout the hall filled with the other agents. Quickly you already finished the lap and had made your way back to Maria, but unfortunately you didn’t exactly know how to stop, so as Shadow had slowed down you still held a generally fast speed. Too fast actually, causing you to trip and fall face first; thankfully the fast hedgehog was able to grab you and hold you up before you fell and ate concrete.
Maria ran over to check and make sure you were okay, feeling guilt if she somehow made you upset from almost falling. As you stood up, you turned back to look at the two, your extremely wide smile shocking them both, it was almost contagious as Maria started to smile and laugh and Shadow breathed a sigh of relief but you could see the small twitch in his lips making them quirk up.
Suddenly you heard your name coming from beside you, turning you saw your mom as well as her boss Professor Gerald Robotnik looking at the three of you, “I thought I told you to stay put!” Her expression wasn’t one of anger, more a mix of stress and lack of sleep.
“Mom! I’m sorry I just met Maria and Shadow and they’re really fun and I thought it was okay, we didn’t cause any trouble-“ You started to ramble feeling immense guilt for betraying your own mother, but you were suddenly cut off.
“Now now, I think it’s quite alright, you see Maria is my granddaughter, and I trust her and your child doesn’t seem bad” The professor interrupted and explained to your mother, “I actually think it’s good for the kids to hangout and get along” he advocated for you.
All three of you nodded your head, even Shadow was agreeing! Your mom reluctantly nodded her head, agreeing that he was right.
And so you came daily, until your mom had to start working 24/7 and so Gerald let you stay in Maria’s room, even getting you guys a bunk bed. It was nice, the three of you became like the three musketeers, you’d never see each other alone anymore.
Sometimes Maria would play music and you three would all dance and jump around together. At some point you even got your own pair of skates so that you three could race, although Shadow always won.
Life was fun, everyday was like an endless sleepover, sometimes the three of you would sneak out and watch the stars, even falling asleep under the moonlight. It wasn’t bad, not at all.
These were the best days of your life, just you and your two best friends.
#Sonic 3#sonic 3 x reader#shadow the hedgehog#shadow#Sonic#sonic brainrot#shadow x reader#Maria x reader#platonic#sonic movie 3#x reader#happy little family#sonic the hedgehog
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just take your shit and go
click before reading
ex!abby, bottom!reader
men dni!!!! NSFW
cw: pretty vanilla, fingering (r!receiving), oral (r!receiving), praise kink, make up sex, idk what else
a/n: yall i thought i would be done this on tuesday. ive been so busy this week w work and life ive barely had time to write. this one’s a bit short but i had to get this idea down. i might improve it some time in the future. not proofreading and i kind of dont like it but thats ok. also requests are open as always. AND THANK YOU FOR SM SUPPORT ON YOU ARE SUCH A NERD! I GENUINELY WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. xx.
you and your ex broke up two weeks ago, a huge fight blew up between the two of you which is why abby is at the door of your apartment, backpack slung over her shoulder, to collect the rest of her things. when you answer the door, you see abby’s gaze rake over your body.
“seriously abs?” you scoff at her, looking down at your abby’s baggy t-shirt, “do i get my shirt back?” she asks as she rolls her eyes at you, gesturing to the band tee. “oh. uh. yeah. i guess” you respond in a quiet tone.
“do you want a drink or something?” you offer and abby shakes her head, her blonde braid moving along with. the braid she would only take out at home when she was with you. the braid you used to tug on when she was drunk off your pussy to see her half-lidded blue eyes. you lick your bottom lip at the thought before shaking it away.
“are you gonna let me come in?” abby asks in a slightly annoyed tone. you get out of the doorway and allow her to come into the apartment. “most of your stuff is on the couch,” you mumble as you point over to the piles of things you threw onto the couch in a blind rage the night she left.
“aw how sweet of you to put everything on the couch for me.” abby says sarcastically, resulting in an eye roll from you. “just take your shit and go.” you grab a couple boxes and put them on the coffee table. you watch as she starts packing away her clothes into the boxes, standing awkwardly. “so this is it then?” you ask,
“what do you mean?”
“all it took was a fight.”
abby walks over to you, crossing her arms and resting her weight on her hip, “you were the one who told me to get out and never talk to you again, if i remember correctly.”
“because i was mad. i didnt actually expect you to go.” you look up to her eyes, trying to find any trace of resentment, but you find none. instead you still find love, “why are you looking at me like that?” she puts her hands on your waist, instinctively your own arms wrap around her neck. “im not looking at you like anything.”
“you are.” you play with her braid, “you’re looking at me like you still care.” she leans in and kisses you, catching you by surprise. the kiss is full of longing and desire. the way she holds you makes you feel as though a fire is stirring within you. she pulls away and sighs, walking back to the couch and sitting down.
“youre so confusing. i mean you tell me to go then dont want me to go? then you dont even text me for two weeks and when you finally do its because you want my stuff out of the apartment.” you nod, knowing you’re in the wrong here. “but i still care about you y/n.” abby leans back on the couch, practically beckoning you to come and sit on her lap.
you make your way over to the couch, sitting in silence as the both of you look at each other, tension growing in the air. “im sorry. i shouldn’t have told you to go.” you apologize, breaking the silence. “i shouldn’t have left.” her voice is softer than before, her hand find its way to your knee and her thumb brushes soothingly along your skin. the apology hangs over the two of you, and once again your eyes meet. abby’s eyes have a look of desire in them, one you know all too well. that’s all it takes for you to climb over and straddle her.
her hands find your hips immediately, “i’ve missed you, ya know.” you say gently, “prove it.” your hands hold her face and you kiss her again, sensually and slowly. abby’s hands run up your back to your hair trying to deepen the kiss. you part you lips and your tongue meets hers. you almost moan at the familiar taste, but you pull away instead, “does that prove it?” she lowers you onto the couch so you’re below her, “haven’t proved it quite yet.” she murmurs as she captures your lips once more. her hands slide up under your shirt as your tongues dance together, palming and squeezing your breasts, the simple action resulting in arousal shooting down to your core. she captures your moans with her mouth, before planting kisses down your neck, suckling the sweet skin.
moments later both your clothes are on the floor as abby kisses your inner thighs, “abs please” you beg, “i need you.” she looks up at you, “mm look at you begging for me, so needy, huh?” she goes back to sucking and kissing your thighs and you push her head towards your soaked pussy, “abbyyyy please.” you beg, “hm? what do you need pretty girl? need me to eat your pussy?” she nudges your clit with her nose eliciting a needy whine from you. “fuck, just eat me out already! please!” your begs are desperate now, your aching cunt waiting for attention. she pulls your legs over her shoulders and laps your slick, the sensation drawing a shiver from you. your hands clutch her hair as she begins sucking your clit, “fuck abby yeah” the moan is involuntary and in response you feel the vibration of her own.
youre a complete mess under her by the time the knot in your stomach snaps, your release dripping out of you pussy and onto your thighs. abby just keeps going, lewd sounds leaving you and echoing around your living room. she slips her fingers into you and curls them, your back arches as she repeatedly hits your g-spot, “so fuckin pretty when you’re falling apart baby” she murmurs softly. she uses her thumb on your clit and it’s like you’re on top of the world, your cries are becoming pornographic at this point and it’s just egging her on, “yeah, you like my fingers filling you dont you?” she nips your hip, “mmhh yeahhh. fuck baby ‘m gonna cum!” she keeps hitting your g-spot and the pressure building up inside of you reaches its peak, you feel your legs shaking as you cum on her fingers, “youre doing so good for me baby.” she lets you ride out your high on her before sliding her fingers out, “fuck i missed you so much abby” you say, she kisses you, “i missed you too”
tags: @jamiesturniolo
#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson#fanfic#abby smut#abby anderson smut#ex!abby#top!abby#bottom!reader#queer ns/fw#wlw ns/fw#wlw blog#sapphic#lesbian#lesbian smut
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Design note time (and based on tags from Lican and Cat :D) Thank yall im glad ya like the designs
- Dianite and Mianite's outfits being nature based/looser in design v. Ianite being covered in a very sharp angles and symmetrical armor is very much intentional! :D It's very much meant to kind of symbolize how her purpose is to challenge the natural order by keeping everything in a perfect balance, that shes very intricate and intentional with her means; very clean cut
- The dark purple spots on her arm are void corruption >:]c I havent fully detailed it but what I had in mind is that in order to aid in suppressing the powers/quintessence of her brothers (to prevent a rise in the forces of Order or Chaos), she's been drawing the energy of the Void from the End into the Overworld and the Nether and this be the consequences of that villanous use (Nethervoid is what the chains keeping Dianite imprisoned are made of)
- Her eyes becoming a voidal purple light is a evil thing but also a lore thing 👀 Ive started on the scene but it starts turning when she steals Dia's heart
- Mianite's design is overall meant to be a homage to caves and cliffs, with yuppers his hair being like ice/snow to the sea, and his laurel/robe/cloak colors being styled after dripstone caves, deepslate and lush caves (and some sculk as well if you can spot it 👀) The heart of the sea in his staff has lore but imma share that later on hehe
- And hell yeahhh Dianite is based on the Nether update! :D The outfit I put him in here is what he looks like after he's been freed and is wandering the farthest reaches of the Nether, tailoring his own cloak and crimson wood armor (the more fancier gold things are made by brute piglins when he takes up residence in a bastion and starts building up a mini base to figure out how to get out- because even if he's not in the chains anymore, he's still been stripped of his godly powers)
- I also imagine that some of his jewelry were gifts snuck to him in prison by guards (he seems like he'd be the kind of guy to try and charm favors out of those around him, part of me thinks this is part of why Ianite takes his heart away but i havent finalized that) Also his broken horns yessaahhh >:O Thats a fun (angsty) bit of backstory as well
- The little element I hid in there that connects their designs are the geometric spirals (On Ia's chestplate/back of her boots, Mianite's hanging belt sash and Dianite's belt skirt) which. not really lore tied to it i just liked the look but is open to interpretation smiles
the keeper of balance | the hidden giant | the exiled : meet the gods of the Realm of Aitheaca
the champions
#rbs mega appreciated!#ive been working on this a bit it took me so long to get these designs where I wanted em :D#self reblog#mianite: the tales of aitheaca#mianite#mcyt#lord mianite#lord dianite#lady ianite#gkm arts#lafakiwi draws#lafakiwi writes#character design#mianite au#ianite#dianite
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Mother, im sitting here at 4am, eating mini easter eggs and ive had tge most brilliant idea!! (Inspired by @inkdrinkerworld 's fic)
Okay so, poly!moonwater and readers been having trouble sleeping due to tensions/problems with her pureblood family. As a result shes been taking more naps, but they arent restful. So reader were napping in Rems bed (the dungeons were too cold) but after a fitful 30 minutes she gets up groggy, sleep deprived and beyond frustrated. She stumbles her way down to the common room, pin point Sirius lounging across the couch and promptly throws herself down to cuddle with him and continue her nap. Everyone (minus Siri) is shook. Jamie even asks if she got the wrong person because Reggie was sitting over there (in which he got a one eyed death glare before she burrowed into Siris chest and passed out).
Now, what everybody else didnt know was that Siri had more or less adopted reader as his own (she remined him so much of Reggie, being her big brother was 2nd nature). And while Barty was her person, he was a little too crazy to be comforting in this situation ("y/n, i'll get rid of them for you. Its not hard to do so" "Barty, no."). And of course Siri nows how bad their kind of familys are so he'd been taking care of reader on the down low as an older brother would.
Bonus if Reggie then decides that looks warm and fuzzy and wants Siri cuddles too so he joins ( it took him so long to get to a point where he could let himself be vunerable enough to openly allow Siri to take care of him 😭)
aweeee poor reader. this ended up being way more serious than I thought it would be? like it's not funny at all, there's no humour (which feels odd to me, usually I can throw some jokes or banter in there) but plenty of hurt comfort???.......idk, I can't tell if this is any good, it feels very different from my usual pieces
poly!moonwater x fem!reader whose family sucks (but it's very Sirius-centric)
CW: mentions of insomnia, mentions of abusive families, making fun of only children (sorry), hurt/comfort
You were miserable to say the least; you couldn’t remember when the last time you had a restful sleep was, and nothing you did seemed to help.
The closer it got to the Winter Holidays, the more your mind seemed to spiral. Every time you began to relax, your heart pounded as if you’d accidentally leaned too far back in your chair, reminding you of your upcoming visit home. Every time you closed your eyes, you were bombarded with images of angry faces and violent curses being shot at you.
The Slytherin dungeons were too cold, and every time you found your way into Regulus’ dorm, Barty insisted on butting in, and though you appreciated his support, you couldn’t handle his threats promises to burn down your home with your parents in it.
Remus and Regulus both suggested you perhaps talk to Madame Pomfrey about getting some dreamless sleep or sleeping draught, but you were too embarrassed to admit to your two overprotective boyfriends that you’ve used them so frequently during your life for this very reason that they had lost all efficacy.
It had gotten to the point that you managed to get the most sleep in the library bent over the table with your face on your book whilst Remus and Regulus did their work (and sometimes yours), and that honestly left you feeling more painfully tired than you had been before your nap.
So, you were nearly falling asleep at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall over your chicken and roast potatoes when Remus gently nudged you and suggested you go lie down for a bit and you wanted to weep into your potatoes which was only slightly less embarrassing than sleeping in them, causing him and Regulus to bring you up to Gryffindor tower.
You’d kicked them both out of the Marauders’ dorm room after some time – Remus for snoring and Regulus because the sound of him turning the pages of his book was distracting you. He promised to stop reading, but then he breathed too loudly and you started crying.
You were overtired, emotional, and running on fumes.
You’d counted puffskeins, you’d had a warm glass of milk, you’d taken off articles of clothing and reconfigured your outfit numerous times (which was currently Remus’ jumper and no pants), and you’d tried every position imaginable to no avail.
You think you might have perhaps gotten five minutes of sleep before you woke up with a start, a barely repressed scream grating through your teeth.
Feeling disturbingly weepy and no less groggy from your horrid sleep, you pulled on a pair of your sweatpants and grabbed the throw blanket from the end Remus’ bed before trudging down the stairs to the common room.
“You should have seen the look on Filch’s face- oh! Hi Y/N!” James called as you made your way over to the three-seater and stood over the black-haired boy currently occupying it.
“Oh, Trouble.” He cooed sympathetically at you before kicking his feet out, laying back, and opening his arms for you to join him. You quickly climbed on top of him, and he tucked you in between the back of the sofa and his side, bending your knee so that your thigh rested on top of his, and pulled the blanket over the two of you.
You let out a shaky sigh and felt the first few tears fall from your eyes and onto Sirius’ chest.
“Uhm...” James said loudly, looking over to both Regulus and Remus cuddled in a large plush chair from his place on the loveseat with Lily like ‘are you seeing this right now?’. “I think you’ve got the wrong wizard there, L/N.” He said with a nervous laugh.
“No, she’s quite alright.” Sirius gritted back at him, looking far more severe than James thought the situation called for as he rubbed his hand consolingly up and down your arm.
James looked to your boyfriends, his face clearly asking all the questions that his mouth wasn’t.
“He helps, sometimes.” Regulus admitted, not looking particularly happy that you chose his brother over him, but not nearly as murderous as James figured he might look if he’d found Lily snuggled up like that with some other bloke. And it appeared as though the look of heartbreak on Remus’ face was caused more by your current sorry state and less about your current cuddle partner.
“But...your brother?” James asked, still befuddled over this development. “Doesn’t she usually go to Junior for things like this?”
Sirius scoffed. “Junior’s solution to almost anything is fire or murder.”
“Or both.” You whimpered quietly, causing Sirius to tighten his arm around you and bring his other hand up to continue stroking your arm.
“Besides, Barty’s an only child.” Regulus said flippantly.
“What’s that got to do with it?” James asked, slightly offended at the insinuation that anything may be wrong with him on account of his only child-ness.
Regulus’ irritable demeanor over Sirius usurping you was quickly replaced by a cocky smirk at getting under James’ skin.
“Let me ask you this, Potter: last summer when Lily returned your letters unopened and called you an arrogant toerag after saying she’d rather date the giant squid, whose arms did you cry into?”
“He didn’t cry.” Lily laughed at the same time as James answered “Sirius’” without any hesitation.
“What?” Lily asked, looking slightly horrified that she may have actually hurt James’ feelings.
“Oh, all the time, every time, actually.” James said readily.
“He got snot on so many of my favourite band-tee’s, Red. As a matter of fact, I expect retribution.” Sirius commented.
“And why do you think you cried into Sirius’ arms?” Regulus continued.
“Well...because he’s my best mate.” James said simply.
“You may think that’s the reason, but you’re wrong. It’s because Sirius is an older brother.”
James scoffed at that. “Please, that has nothing to do with it!”
“Have you ever cried in Remus’ arms?”
“No, but-”
“Pettigrew’s?”
James grimaced but answered honestly. “No.”
“No. Because they’re not older brothers.” Regulus said definitively.
“That actually makes sense...” Lily mused aloud.
“You say that like you’re surprised, Evans. I know you’re not used to good idea’s coming out of men’s mouths, but I do assure you it happens more frequently than you might imagine.” Regulus taunted, earning him a pillow being hurled at his head.
Much to James’ chagrin, his seeker reflexes caught the pillow before it made impact with his face.
“Tosser.” James grumbled.
“Would you guys shut up.” Sirius whispered, causing everyone to look over at you.
Regulus couldn’t even find it in him to be miffed when he saw you sleeping what looked to be quite peacefully in Sirius’ arms. Your eyes were slightly swollen from your tears, and he could see the tracks they had left on your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose, but you looked so content.
“So... all big brothers know how to do that?” James asked incredulously.
“I doubt it.” Sirius commented quietly.
“Only ones who know what it’s like to live in a Pureblood hellscape and needed to share his bed with his younger brother who was too scared to sleep on his own for years.” Regulus added quietly, staring unseeingly towards you and Sirius. Remus pulled Regulus tighter into his side and began rubbing his arm consolingly.
Suddenly, things started to make a little more sense to James.
“I’ll write to mum.” James stated, causing both brothers, Lily, and Remus to look at him bemusedly.
“About what?” Remus asked finally.
“Y/N staying with us.” James said simply.
Regulus opened his mouth ready to argue; to argue that James didn’t have to and that he already took in both Sirius and Regulus. James didn’t owe Regulus anything.
But Sirius spoke first.
“She should be with her big brother, Reggie.” Sirius said, shooting him an encouraging smile and wink.
And seeing how your breathing had fallen even with your mouth slightly ajar as you clutched to the fabric of Sirius’ jumper like it was a lifeline, who was Regulus to argue?
#ask elle#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#regulus black#sirius and regulus#regulus deserved better#poly!moonwater#poly!moonwater x reader#poly!moonwater x you#poly!moonseeker#poly!moonseeker x reader#poly!moonseeker x you#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#regulus black x reader#regulus black x you#remus lupin x regulus black#Sirius Black being everyone's big brother#ellecdc fics
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LOVE IN SCRIBBLES — ten things han jisung writes in his love letters for you
han jisung x reader — fluff, teeny bit of angst
a/n: HIIIIII OMG WHAT (this is the first time me writing in ages) t____t nursing school sucked me dry (my brain included) please forgive me… also we finally reached 600 !! thank you so much my pookiebears 🙂↕️💗
bang chan / minho / changbin / hyunjin / jisung / felix / seungmin / jeongin
i. Has the world been treating you kindly these days, my love? I hope it has. Because if it hasn’t, I’m still here. You are my world anyway.
ii. I learned that nobody touches me if I look sharp. But you took the risk and told me you’re willing to do whatever it takes— even if it causes you to bleed. But my love, you never bled. Am I that easy to love?
iii. I always cry whenever I think about the time that we will get to the point where we will break up. Not that it will happen, but the thought of it just makes me sick to my stomach.
iv. I am not good with fragile things, but I swear I will love all that you unearth for me—your stinted roots, all the tenderness you’ve long buried.
v. And suddenly, all the songs I write are all about you.
vi. You know, I don’t fantasize or dream about having the perfect life. I just want to wake up happily, seeing the sunrise— and perhaps waking up somewhere safe, just like in your arms. I’m thinking about having a nice kitchen, bedroom, and a nice mini studio decorated by you or me (or us both) so you can still have all of me even though I’m working. I could be anywhere as long you’re by my side.
vii. I once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden.
viii. It’s time to stop hating yourself for what others did to you, jagiya. It’s not your fault. It was never your fault.
ix. Ever since I started loving you, waking up doesn’t feel heavy anymore. Breathing isn’t as hard as it seemed. My anxiety turned into courage. My what-ifs turned into “I did it”. Working doesn’t drain me that much anymore. I am starting to live for 5 am sunrises and morning coffees. Heck, I don’t eat breakfast— but when you said to me that I should take care of myself more often, I enjoy waking up to sunlight, knowing there is someone who is looking forward to seeing and being with me. Perhaps love is something like a gentle embrace to my tired and weak soul— giving me an unexplainable refresh within. All I yearn for is to belong to something, to be contained with an all-embracing mind that sees me as a single thing and not a fragile glass that has been dropped multiple times, spreading its fragments on the ground. Yet you see me more than that, and I sometimes ever wonder if I even deserve that.
x. Whenever someone asks me what love is, I always say your name.
taglist : @agi-ppangx @ashracha @bluethemoments @wonootnoot @ruskzi @thamihh | taglist form
( jisung layout is from @/i-wolfbit ! )
⋆ taetr4ck, est may 2023.
#ᨳ ✦ % : from the monochrome film 🎞️#k-labels#straykidsland#stray kids#stray kids imagines#stray kids reactions#skz#skz au#skz x reader#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids han#han jisung x reader#han#han jisung#skz han#han jisung fluff#stray kids oneshot#stray kids comfort#han jisung scenarios#han jisung x yn#han jisung imagines#skz fanfic#han jisung x you#skz fanfiction#skz fluff#skz comfort#skz scenarios#stray kids jisung
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hiiii i stumbled across ur blog like a couple days ago and. ive been so obsessed with all ur posts theyre so yummy!!! (ESPECIALLY UR BOOM??? ik u mentioned u werent all that familar with him but,,, that one oneshot had me salivating oml)
anyways could i maybe ask for a sonic x reader where they give him a bath bc he's stinky 🤧 just modern/game is fine smile
゚ ⋆ ゚ ☂︎ ⋆ ゚ 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐠.
sonic had a nice adventure outside. unfortunately, remnants of said adventure were brought into your home. its bath time.
⋆°•☁︎ content . sonic x gn!reader, fluff, sort of shitpost-esque writing but i still did take it seriously i swear anon
☂︎ wc. 1.1k ☂︎ a/n. hueheh this request had me giggling. silly dirty ass mf 😭😭😭 i was messing around during it huehehe this is your reminder to not take me too seriously sometimes 😋still pretty short but i hope you like it ^^ def not my best work but i hope you like it regardless ^^'
likes, reblogs, and especially comments are extremely appreciated!!! (i like chatting to you guys!)
“You know I can take a simple bath by myself, right?” Sonic growls, watching you kneel down and check the water's temperature for him with your forefinger. Not too hot, not too cold. “Plus, I already took a shower. The dirt’s gone already. No need for a bath, right?” Now why is he acting like that bathtub is going to kill him?
“Could’ve gotten it all out if you hadn’t pulled me out the shower.” He mutters. “If you had wanted me to take a bath at all, you should’ve said that bef-” You frown, interrupting his rambling by knocking on the side of the bathtub with your fingers in a way that’s telling him to hurry up and get in. You can still smell the mud on him.
And it’s not bad to take precautions. Plus, if the shower didn’t get every single spec of dirt out of his quills, the bath will. Having even one spec of dirt come back inside the house after Sonic’s grand entrance of mud-filled footsteps, and right after you had to clean said mess, might just make you go crazy.
“I already said I was sorry...” He trails off, peering into the tub before taking a step back. You mutter a short curse his way and tug him by his arm, refusing to take no for an answer.
Sonic winces slightly at the volume of the water in the tub but lets out a sigh once he sees your stern expression. “Oh, alright…” He grumbles, spitting out soft curses about his distaste for water as he slips off his gloves, following with his socks right after.
… Paw-beans.
“Hmm?” Sonic’s ear flicks at your small murmuring, turning your way just as he’s about to step into the bath. “You say something?”
You shake your head, trying to make him forget your small slip-up, and urge him into the tub with a small shove. The moment his foot enters the water, you can visibly see a shiver tremble through his body.
“Eugh.” Despite his little complaints, he takes another step in the bubbly water, slowly settling himself into it with unpleasant grumbling, the water reaching up to his chin. “Make it fast. Being submerged in water for too long makes me uneasy…”
Like him? Make it as fast as ‘Sonic speed’, some might say?
His head snaps in your direction, opening his mouth to say something back to your crude teasing, but it closes instantly as you cup water into your hands and pour it over his head, watching it run off his quills and back into the bath.
That shut him up quickly.
And so it begins.
The water runs down and seeps into his fur, then drips off once it gets too soaked, mixing with the bubbly suds already present. You rub his ear in a slow motion, cupping water up from the bath and pouring it over to get any extra dirt out. So far so surprisingly good; the baths running fairly clear, besides the small bit of dirt or so. Maybe he did get all the dirt out after all? Or maybe it was just his shoes that were the problem? No, then you wouldn’t have seen all those specs of black and brown in his fur. What, did he roll down a hill or-
“Hey, be careful with my quills!” Sonic’s body flinches as you accidentally prod and pull too deeply during your thoughts. “Can’t you be a little more gentle? The bath’s been clear for the past half hour.” He clarifies. “At this point, I’m not sure if you’re still trying to get any dirt out, or if you just like pampering me.”
Oh. Well damn.
Your hand lowers from his head, and it dawns upon you that yes, for once Sonic is actually right about your behavior, and the embarrassment washes over your figure, staggering your motions as you go to unplug the drain, but he stops you with a small kick of his foot at your hand.
“I didn’t say you had to stop.” Sonic mutters, before putting on his best ‘I deserve the world’ act a spoiled child would have towards everyone else. “I’m actually enjoying the attention!” He puffs his chest out, trying to put on a smug face for you, but a splash of water in his face turns that smugness to irritation, shaking his head around like a dog would their body as water flings in every direction possible. You hold your hands up in front of your face, your soaking wet hands dripping onto your lap and the bathroom floor as you shield yourself from the blue blurs little water assault. Ugh. Looks like he’s getting a kick out of your annoyance.
“It’s not so bad.” Sonic says plainly, flexing his fingers in the water in front of him, before adjusting himself to rest his arms on the tub’s edge, resting his head down to let your preen and run your fingers through his quills, forgetting to scrub through them at all. “You know, I wouldn’t mind if you pampered me like this more often.” Sonic reaches over and drags a soggy, wet, finger across your arm, leaving small water droplets on your skin as he moves it up towards your hand, currently resting on your lap as the other one rubs against his shoulder briefly. “Think I deserve it a little, ya’ know?” He shimmies his shoulders a bit, yet his tail wags all the same under the water, eager for your answer, even if you give him a plain ‘no’.
Well, if he could be more aware of himself and clean up after his little escapades, you would. But for now, the punishment bath it is. Though, with the way he was acting at first, someone might’ve thought he was taking a small dunk in acid.
Sonic doesn’t utter a word at your own little joke, but he shakes his head disapprovingly, glaring at you for a few seconds as his eyes flick over you up and down, then he relaxes. “You’re gonna help me dry off after this too, right?” He chirps, and you shake your head, already firm in the belief that you deserve some rest after cleaning up the house. Not to mention the other house chores you’ve already done today.
“Aw man...” Sonic says softly, before growling under his breath in your direction, ears pinning down, obviously in a joking manner, and he flicks some water in your direction off his fingertips, splashing onto your shirt and lap. “You can’t just take me a bath and then chicken out once we’re almost at the finish line! Come on.” Another flick of water comes flying your way, this time hitting you in the face, and you scowl, cupping up some water in your palm to splash it back at him.
“Aw, hey, come on!” His tone of voice makes it sound like a complaint, but his expression is the complete opposite; a fat grin spreads across his muzzle and another small splash of water makes its way to you, soaking your shirt. Oh, so that's how it is?
“What? What’re you gonna do about it?”
Stupid hedgehog. Sometimes it’s a mystery how you haven’t gone crazy by now from all his antics.
… Oh well; time to fetch that towel.
#sonic x reader#sonic fluff#sonic the hedgehog x reader#thank you for your request!#sonic#not beta read
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eddie?! 👀 did you say EDDIE?!?! 👀👀👀👀
i DID say eddie! i had a tiny idea that fit the version of eddie ive written before (and the only version of eddie ive written before) and so... here we are. i am: so sorry. Wordcount: 6.6K
---
Let’s Go Home
(find all other parts of this story here)
“Let’s go get him.”
You sound very determined for someone completely unsure of how to handle the situation. It’s difficult to watch someone so deeply unhappy struggle with parts of their past they can’t seem to get a grip on.
“I… what?” two wet, red-rimmed eyes stare back at you. Confused. A little annoyed.
“Yea. Come on. Let’s go. We’re packing our bags and we’re going to go pick him up and bring him back here.”
Eddie doesn’t get it. Frowns, entirely unsure of who you’re talking about.
“Steve’s already here… and Wayne is coming here for Christmas, we don’t need to–…” he looks so tired.
“I know we don’t need to.”
It always happened when the days got a little shorter. When the nights got colder and Christmas loomed. When happy, wholesome family moments would be advertised all over the world, and it all became glaringly obvious – once again – how that was something Eddie never got to be a part of when he was little. Not until Wayne took him in and tried his best to make the holidays special in his own way.
No matter how hard Wayne tried, though, the bitter aftertaste of abandonment and loneliness was impossible to get rid of.
Eddie would never admit this to Wayne, but celebrating Christmas just the two of them felt just as pathetic and lonely as it had done when he lived with his parents still.
Different.
Definitely not as traumatizing, which was good.
But still dreary, and sad, with a lot of playing pretend that he was okay and happy and fine.
He was never okay and happy and fine.
Still isn’t okay and happy and fine.
That’s not Wayne’s fault, Eddie knows, and he feels like a shitty person because Wayne always tried his best. Did what he could. It just never quite worked.
Christmas would roll around, and Eddie would get depressed.
That’s just what happened.
Eddie would slip into sadness, scary thoughts intruding happy places they weren’t allowed to settle into, but he’d not yet learnt how to tell them to fuck off. To leave him alone. Didn’t know how to get the uninvited guests out of his house, and felt powerless as he watched them settle into his living room. Nothing he could do about it.
Somber, pensive moments would slowly stretch until they covered most of the day. Mornings were the happiest, still. He’d wake up after falling asleep eventually, never managing to slip into dreams before 3 AM, and for a moment, he’d forget. The short amount of sleep would have him tired enough to not remember the reality of his life for a second, and in those moments, it would just be you in bed with him and that would be the only thing in existence.
It’s awful to feel reality set into someone’s body mid-hug.
You wish you knew how to keep it out.
Over the years Eddie had learnt he had to vocalize his feelings. His thoughts. Knew that a burden shared was a burden halved, but knowing things in theory didn’t make them easier in practice.
“What can I do? Let me help.” You’d whisper, and Eddie was lucky you’d known each other for so long. There were no worried questions of are you okay, or a concerned soft hey what’s wrong.
You know he’s not okay, and you know what’s wrong.
“You, here. That’s all you need to do.” Eddie would murmur and he’d pull you in to hold you for a short while. And sometimes, that would temporarily fix him.
There is part of Eddie that honestly thinks if he doesn’t think about it, that it’ll be okay.
If he ignores it for long enough, it might go away by itself.
He’s lucky that sometimes, it does.
He pretends that the foundation of shit that he’d been given for his life hasn’t got all the cracks in. The house he has tried to build on top might shake a bit in the wind, but he can convince himself that the strong support beams that have been put in place will make sure the whole thing doesn’t collapse.
But it’s getting closer and closer to Christmas, and he’s sinking deeper and deeper into everything that’s dark, and cold, and uncomfortable, and painful, and scary.
Everything is designed to make people feel happy around this time of year, and he’s in LA where the sun shines all year long and it doesn’t even really get cold at all. Not like it gets cold in Hawkins. The days don’t really get that much shorter, and he can go outside in a T-shirt and be fine. But maybe that’s precisely the problem right now; there’s no quick get inside the house, and no let me warm your hands up for you.
The comfort of a frozen nose that get nuzzled back to life is unattainable in LA.
“Can you go to another meeting? Would that help, do you think?” you silently ask him one evening, hidden under the covers and too tired to stay awake for much longer, even though you know Eddie’s wide awake next to you. He’ll toss and turn for a couple more hours after you’ve drifted off.
“Yea, of course. I should.” Eddie is quick to reply, but you know he doesn’t want to.
Talking about his addiction with strangers when he’s trying his best to pretend it’s not there will just make things worse, he thinks. Logically, he knows it probably won’t, but there’s always that fear.
“Can I join you?”
You feel how Eddie shifts in bed, probably to take a look at you, but your eyes are closed and you’re about to fall asleep. This isn’t the time to fall into a conversation in which he asks you why on earth you would want to hear a lot of people you don’t know talk about a lot of drastic measures you don’t need to know people let themselves be pushed to sometimes.
So instead, you feel a kiss press to your temple, and he whispers, “Sure you can.”
At first, Eddie doesn’t say much in the meeting you join him for. You mostly listen to issues other people bring forward, and try to think of things you’d do if Eddie was the person speaking. If he was the one with all of those problems. How would you help?
How would you fix it?
When a kind, soft-spoken voice asks if there’s anyone new who wants to share, a lot of eyes fall on you, and you shift in your seat. Sit up a little. Feel Eddie squeeze your hand in his which could have meant, it’s okay, you can tell people why you’re here, but instead it means, I got this.
Eddie talks.
Tells everyone about how he feels like he’s deep in a depression and that he doesn’t really know how to get out of the dark pit he’s fallen into.
How it feels like he’s five years old and stuck in a small dark room, and he’s feeling all over the walls but can’t locate the light switch, and the longer he’s looking, the more he starts feeling claustrophobic in there.
You make the mistake of asking him if he can call out for help.
“Have you tried asking? Maybe someone else can turn the light on for you…”
Eddie breaks down, elbows on his knees, face hidden from the group as he looks at the wooden floor boards through his tears.
It’s not your fault.
Eddie doesn’t expect you to understand the feeling of being so utterly helpless and alone that he knows there’s no use in even trying to call for help.
No one would’ve answered.
You scoot your seat closer to his, and lean into his side as you wrap an arm around his back, fingers curling around his shoulder. It’s nice. He needs it. He also knows there’s thirteen pairs of eyes on him and he doesn’t know how to tell you that no matter how hard you’ll try, you won’t be able to actually fix anything.
“Let me turn the light on. Let Steve, or let Wayne– Robin… we can all help turn the light on. We’ll fly Wayne out, Robin too, and anyone else that you want. They can all move in, we have the space for it. Just… please, let us turn the light on, Eddie…”
It’s the fucking sweetest thing he’s ever heard, but he can reach for the light himself now. He can find it in the dark, and he can turn it on. The problem is that it doesn’t make a fucking difference.
Turning a light on now doesn’t change anything about his past.
Eddie gets asked if he has anything more to share. He sniffs and wipes his face with both his hands before he sits up and leans back and says, “Thank you, but um, no. I don’t. It’s this time of year, I guess. I know it’ll pass.”
You hold hands, fingers intertwined, as you listen to everyone else share more of their own personal issues, and when you leave Eddie puts his arm around you and pulls you close to kiss the side of your face. He tells you that he loves you, that he’s glad that he came, and he thanks you for coming with him.
You can see in his eyes that none of it helped.
Eddie lets himself sink deeper and all you can really do is be there for him. Be there when he wakes up and be there when he goes to sleep. You give him the gift of routine. Of healthy meals. Of pleasant walks outside. Long showers after.
It helps.
But it doesn’t fix anything.
You try your best at damage control. Talk to Steve. Call Wayne a lot.
And it helps.
But about two weeks later, Eddie starts isolating.
He had never isolated before.
Not like this.
He’s in his home studio, hyperfocussing on four seconds of a song he’s working on, and when you interrupt to tell him you’re going to go to bed, he says he’ll come up in a minute. He just needs to figure this bit out. “I’m so close, I can taste it.” Eddie smiles a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and for a moment you think Eddie’s going to let you listen to his work in progress. He always asks for your opinion, but this time he doesn’t. He just looks at you with a smile that’s just there for reassurance until you leave him alone.
At 5 AM you get woken up by Steve, who softly says, “You need to come downstairs…” and leads the way for you.
“I got up to pee, and the bathroom is right above the studio…”
You find Eddie in the exact same spot, going over the exact same four seconds of music.
He looks like he’s being tortured, barely able to keep his eyes open. When you gently pry the guitar from his hands, his breathing changes, and you think if he would have had the energy to sob, he would have cried like a child.
“Let’s go to bed, Eddie.”
Eddie lets you take him upstairs, but then locks himself in the bathroom and when you ask if he can let you in, all you can hear are soft sniffles whilst the shower runs.
It’s then that you decide.
Something is different this time around.
Something deeper has bubbled up, and you know whatever you are doing here, in LA, to help him simply will not be enough.
You establish a plan and pull out two suitcases that you place onto your bed. You’re going to pack your bags and you’re going to go get him.
It’s clearly necessary.
Eddie is no longer letting you comfort him and you’re scared that the next step is going to be a relapse.
“What are you doing?”
“Let’s go get him.”
“I–… what?”
Eddie hasn’t slept, and his unwashed hair is wet from the shower he’s sat in for a while, and you’re very calmly and methodically folding clothes into a suitcase. You might as well be speaking in a different language right now.
“Yea. Come on. Let’s go. We’re packing our bags and we’re going to go pick him up and bring him back here.”
Eddie slowly moves to sit down on the bed, and he looks at what you’re doing for a moment before he sighs and softly says, “Steve’s already here… and Wayne is coming here for Christmas, we don’t need to–…”
He stops speaking when he sees your slight smile.
“I know we don’t need to.” You say and Eddie doesn’t like how you look at him with so much care in your eyes. He doesn’t think he deserves it.
Doesn’t deserve you.
“Do you want to bring both of your black hoodies?” you then ask, not giving him a chance to question what’s happening, and so he just goes, “Yea… yea, sure.” before he lets himself fall backwards onto the mattress where he shuts his eyes.
You let Eddie sleep for as long as sleep will hold him. Pack up both suitcases and let Steve help you book travel back home.
“Do you want to come?” you ask when Steve is on the phone to a travel agent. He is listening to the woman who’s reading him back information he’s just given her, so he can’t answer you, but he reaches out and holds your hand whilst you listen to him book two tickets to Indiana.
When he gets off the phone he reaches for your other hand as well and says, “I’ll watch the house.”
You give him a slight frown. “You know he’d love you to come with us… Wayne says Hawkins is covered in snow. We could watch Christmas films in the trailer… get Robin and run across Lover’s Lake again… or, call Dustin and, I don’t know, Eddie could challenge him to a snow ball fight and they could play–”
“Dustin’s 26 years old.”
“Yea...” you frown at Steve. “So?” you sound desperate.
Steve huffs a laugh as he rubs his thumbs over your hands. He grimaces a little before he says, “No offense, but… he doesn’t need us out there. Of course you’ve got to go with him, but every other person is going to be one too many.”
And Steve’s right.
The next day, Steve joins you outside as you’re about to leave. He hugs Eddie for a long time by the trunk of the car, and you know they’re softly talking to each other. You can only see Eddie’s back, and Steve’s face is hidden by all of Eddie’s curls, but suddenly you can hear Eddie laugh before he pokes Steve in the side.
You get hugged next.
Eddie doesn’t sleep on the flight. Just stares out the window and gets lost in thought. You know he’s not entirely sure of why you’re taking him back to Hawkins, but he’s also not asked about it again.
When your rental car stops in front of Wayne’s trailer, you turn the engine off and sit in silence for a moment as you both just… look at it. It’s four in the afternoon, but it’s getting dark outside already.
Forest Hills.
A surprisingly large lot of land that holds about twenty-four sporadically placed trailers; some of them neatly lined up, others facing whichever way. Wayne’s trailer was one of those ones, placed diagonally to the road, surrounded by dry grass for most of the year which was now hidden by a thick layer of snow.
Momentarily, everything about the image that you’re looking at looks like it’s 1987. Maybe 1988. You can easily envision a younger version of yourself running up to that same front door, it swinging open before you could even get up the steps, Eddie bursting through just to throw you over his shoulder and haul you inside.
“We’re here...” you break the silence, stating the obvious, and find Eddie’s hand to squeeze.
It’s a little silly, but it looks like he’s scared.
“Did you tell him we were coming?”
“Wayne?”
Eddie turns to look at you, slightly confused because, yea who the fuck else?
“Yea. I called Wayne.”
You watch how Eddie takes a breath. Watch that information settle within him.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
And Eddie does. Doesn’t want to do anything without you, ever.
But he takes a shaky breath and says, “I’ll come get you in a second.” before he opens the door and gets out of the car.
Footsteps crunch in the snow, and you watch Eddie, hands in pockets, rush up the steps to what used to be the trailer that he lived in with his uncle. The trailer that he found home in when he was about seven years old and Wayne had decided that his bedroom could actually be Eddie’s bedroom instead for a while.
A while turned into fifteen years in the blink of an eye.
You watch Eddie hug Wayne through the window. It’s another long embrace, but this one doesn’t part with boyish grins and jabbing fingers. Instead, you can see how Eddie goes limp in Wayne’s arms a little, and when he goes to pull back, Wayne just… holds on.
Just a little longer.
It feels a little wrong to be watching them like this, chin perched on the steering wheel, fingers hidden in your sleeves. It feels especially invasive when you see how when they eventually part, the first thing both men do is bring their sleeves to their faces to dry what has become wet.
Then, Eddie steps away. Slowly walks towards the room that used to be his bedroom, and he goes alone.
Good, you think.
That’s good.
Wayne didn’t understand at first, when you told him over the phone. That you were coming over for a strange, but important visit. But this was good.
It takes a while.
Your fingers start to lose their feeling a little as you wait in the car, but it’s fine. You are not the priority right now.
When Eddie eventually emerges from the trailer, you get out of the car, and wait for him to call for you. A, come on. Come inside. It’s fucking freezing out here.
Instead, you get silence. Eddie doesn’t stop walking to wave you over.
He makes his way all the way over to where you’re stood next to the car, and then, he hesitates for a moment.
Eddie can’t look you in the eye.
“Everything okay?”
You know it’s not.
“He um…” Eddie starts, voice trembling. “He’s not here.”
“What?”
Eddie moves closer to place a kiss to your temple, eyes looking away, over the top of the car, across the trailer park. “He’s not here. I didn’t find him.”
Eddie steps around you and gets into the passenger seat, and for a moment, you stand with both shoes in slush whilst you try to think of what to do next. When you look back at the trailer, you catch Wayne through he window. Gives you a smile and a wave.
For a moment you contemplate running over, up those same steps, to ask what happened inside. Maybe Wayne has answers to questions you keep asking yourself.
Before you can, Eddie roars the engine back to life.
You give Wayne a wave back from where you’re stood and round the car to get into the passenger’s seat. You can talk to Wayne later.
Back inside the car, you put your seatbelt on and look at Eddie for a moment. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the gearshift, and he’s biting his lip as he stares into space.
“If he’s not here…” you start pensively.
“It’s quite the drive.” Eddie answers, unmoving.
“We have the time.”
“I don’t think we’d make it back here before midnight.”
“Hey,”
Eddie turns his head to look at you.
“We have time.” You repeat yourself and place your hand on the back of his head where you softly scratch your fingers into his hair. “You good to drive?”
You don’t get an answer. Instead, Eddie puts the car in reverse and starts backing out. Just before he’s about to fully leave Forest Hills Trailer Park, he stops the car, even though there’s no traffic to wait for.
“I can drive if you want me to–”
“N-no, that’s not it. I can drive, but I…”
Eddie stares. Looks at his hands and just sits in silence, going through it. Then suddenly, he takes his seatbelt off, opens his door and quickly says, “I’ll be right back.” and he runs.
Left in a car with a running engine and a wide open door, you turn in your seat to watch Eddie’s breath leave him in white clouds as he runs back to the trailer, back up the steps, back inside. You’re too far away to see in the windows now.
It only takes a minute.
When he comes back, jogs down those steps in the snow, he looks a little lighter somehow. Like running back towards the car is a little easier.
Eddie gets back in the car, and he’s all loud inhales and rough exhales, hands rubbing together because it’s cold and he just ran through the snow, but then he looks at you as he puts on his seatbelt and he smiles.
There’s tears in his eyes, but he’s smiling.
“Had to tell him it’s okay. That I’m okay.”
Somehow, Eddie is beaming and solemn at the same time, but you’re happy that something has changed a little. That he seems to get it. You sink into your seat a bit more when Eddie pulls onto the road and starts heading south.
Eddie told you once, years ago, that he used to live in a motel before he came to Hawkins. How that’s all his parents could afford, and even then, they were always fighting with the front desk about money. Always late on payments.
It was just one big room, and even though it was just him, his mother and sometimes his dad, there were always people in their room. Strangers. Friends, his mother would tell him. Sometimes she’d even tell him, this is your Uncle Frank, and Eddie would be forced to shake the hand of a man he had never seen before and would never see again.
Eddie spent a lot of his early childhood confused.
He spent a lot of his childhood hiding.
Afraid.
Alone.
He wouldn’t ever trust anyone. People told him one thing and then they would laugh together and they would do something else.
Adults were evil, and yet the world was made so that adults were the ones that had to look after him. That made the decisions. That told him, go play outside, even if rain was coming down hard, and Eddie would have no other choice but to listen. To do as he was told.
He was only a little kid.
When Eddie was seven years old, he got kicked out of the room at eight in the morning and got told to not come back until they were ‘ready for him’.
Like he knew what that meant.
No one had told him how to tell time.
Eddie didn’t go to school.
But he knew that being sent outside meant that he had to go find his own entertainment for a while, and so he did.
Eddie was seven years old when he came back around lunch time with skinned knees and grass stains in his shorts, and there was commotion.
Lots of people.
People in uniforms.
A cop car.
A kind woman who asked him if he had lost his way. If she could help him get home. Eddie had just smiled and said, no thanks, and had tried to hide in the spot where he always hid. Adults were not to be trusted, Eddie knew. No matter how kind they looked.
Eddie was seven years old when he got pulled from his safe space, his little hiding spot, kicking and screaming, and got brought over to Wayne’s trailer. He’d never been back to that motel room again. Had never even gotten close.
The sun has fully set by the time you pull up outside of an old, run down motel that looks like it should’ve been torn down ages ago. Most windows are boarded up, paint on the walls is chipping and what used to be a light-up sign has been torn down.
It’s a dump.
Just trying to imagine someone growing up here has you choking up.
Little four-year-old Eddie running around these grounds? In dirty clothes too big for his body because nobody was feeding him right? Being exposed to things no child should ever be exposed to, simply because his bedroom was also the only room they had?
Before you can let it make you cry, you hear a faint chuckle beside you.
It’s small and weak, but it’s a chuckle none the less.
“I remember this place much bigger,” he says, like it’s funny. “There’s only like… seven rooms.” Eddie counts.
You’re momentarily unsure if coming here was a good idea. If facing this reality of his past is going to be doing him any good. If it won’t just break him down even more. But then Eddie turns to look at you and says, “Come, let me show you.”
Eddie visiting the place where he spent the first few years of his life turns into him giving you a surprisingly pleasant tour of the grounds. He recounts the other people that lived there, the rooms he wasn’t allowed into. How there used to be a soda machine here, and how sometimes the older kids would ask him to get them some cans for free, because his arms were small and skinny enough to just sneak them out the bottom.
It’s easy to skim the surface of this place like this.
To make it about showing you around instead of sinking down past the layers of self-protection that would have him walking around here with wobbly legs.
Yea.
This is easier. Better.
All of the doors are locked, but it doesn’t take much more than a good shove of a shoulder for the locks to give way. For the wood of the doorframes to splinter.
“Entering the Forest Hills way.” Eddie grins, and you suppress a smile. It’s a lie. Forest Hills is full of all honest, all hard-working people. But, it’s still a trailer park, and thus, the joke is funny.
Without much care, Eddie easily manages to open every door he comes across. It’s dark everywhere you go, none of the lights work, but the streetlights out front provide you with plenty of it, and your eyes quickly adjust.
Eddie shows you the laundry. Breaks into a little back office. A supply closet. Some other motel rooms - some that had semi-permanent guests staying there too, just like he used to be one. And some that would have overnight guests that didn’t know about the draft that would make the door slam so hard, you’d lose your fingers if they got caught in between.
It’s almost joyful, how Eddie talks about his memories. He hasn’t got many, he was so young, but every time he comes across something he remembers, he seems pleasantly surprised at his brain’s ability to bring it all back to him.
But then, when you eventually stop outside room number five, he pauses.
Stops.
Stares at the doorknob.
You can feel how his entire demeanor changes, and even though it’s painful to witness, you know that this is why you came here. This is the whole reason you drove all the way out here.
Eddie takes a good, deep breath but doesn’t move otherwise. Just keeps his eyes locked on a rusty old doorknob to a locked door of a room that probably looks exactly like all the other ones Eddie had already shown you.
“Is this where you lived?” you ask, doing your best to make your voice sound as neutral as possible. You don’t want to scare him off. Don’t want to trigger something.
Eddie nods, a barely-there up and down movement of his head, and then he goes for the doorhandle, rattles it weakly.
Keeps staring at it.
“Door’s locked.” He croaks, like that had been a problem for any of the other doors.
But it does make sense.
You understand that the person who opened up all those other doors was Eddie in his thirties, showing you around.
The person staring at the doorknob now, was Eddie as a child.
Afraid to go inside, unsure of what he was going to find there.
Not strong enough.
Maybe only just tall enough to even reach.
But, you were strong.
You had witnessed how a little force had gone a long way with these locks, and after giving Eddie a second to maybe ask for help, because God, you really wanted him to realize he could just ask for help, he doesn’t ask for shit, and you decide to take matters into your own hands.
Before Eddie even registers you taking a few steps back to get a running start, the wood of the door has already split from the blow of your shoulder.
“Oh my G–” Eddie jumps, both arms reaching out to grab at you and to pull you close. He makes sure he holds you where you ran into the door, large palm cupping over the curve of your shoulder, and he rubs the skin there. Which helps, because, you’re not really hiding the fact that Jesus fuck that fucking hurt very well.
Despite the sting, there’s a moment where you both see the humor in what just happened, and looking at each other, you both let huffs of laughter escape you.
“Are you crazy? What you do that for, huh?” Eddie pretend scolds.
You shrug, “Forest Hills way.”
The comedic relief is so welcome, but it’s short-lived. You see from up close how Eddie’s expression drops. He goes from looking at his insane girlfriend with all the love he’s got for her spilling from his eyes, to looking over your head into the dark room where he used to live, and it all slips away.
You wait by the door.
Want Eddie to do this alone because you think it’ll be better that way.
You also truly don’t know what to do, so it feels a little safer to just… wait outside. You wouldn’t know how to help anyway.
Just like when you were outside of Wayne’s trailer, it feels a little invasive to look at Eddie as he silently takes slow steps inside and looks around. At the same time, you can’t really look away. If he’s going to break down and fall to his knees, you want to be there within a second to pick him back up.
Eddie trails slow fingers along a dresser.
Takes careful steps towards a nightstand of which he opens and then closes the drawer.
“Huh…” he comments. Looks around the full room again, sees it in different light as he stands in another corner, the lights from outside showing him different parts of the room.
He disappears into the bathroom for a moment before he steps back out, and he looks… confused.
Surprised, maybe. A little dumbfounded.
He gives the room another glance, and then turns to find you watching him in silence.
“This is really weird,” Eddie comments, both eyebrows raised.
“Yea? How so?”
“I don’t know… it’s different. It’s not like I remember. I think… I don’t know, I think my mind made this room the most terrible place ever in the world, but it’s just… it’s just a room. There’s nothing…” Eddie twirls on the spot, “Yea, it’s just a room. Nothing’s… nothing is scary.”
You swallow audibly, and hesitate before you speak.
“It’s not scary.” Eddie concludes again before you can say anything, and he raises both shoulders at you in a long shrug, like he’s trying to convince you that it’s all right.
You’re not the one who needs convincing though.
“Is, um…” you start, and you clear your throat, entirely unsure of how Eddie is going to react to your question.
After visiting Wayne, you think he gets it now.
He gets why you took him back to Indiana.
Eddie has let his eyes fall on a weird piece of wall art he doesn’t remember, something that maybe they added to the room after his parents had been kicked out, and he’d been taken away to go live somewhere safer.
“Is he here?”
“Huh?”
“Is he in here, somewhere?”
It takes a moment of Eddie looking at you before he fully registers what you’re talking about.
His gaze drifts towards the closet next to the bathroom door.
It’s shut. Both bifold doors closed.
Eddie stalls for a moment, and then he raises an arm to open one of the doors before he drops it by his side again.
The closet’s empty.
It seemingly comes from nowhere, the way your lips suddenly quiver. How your eyes well up with tears so quickly. You have to cover your mouth with your hand to remain silent; this isn’t about you.
Eddie is slowly taking it all in, looks around the inside of the closet. The stains in the carpet. The peeling wallpaper. The mismatched hangers, a couple plastic ones amongst a couple more wire ones. And then he looks up and finds the the little yellowed piece of string that hangs down from way up high.
He reaches up and pulls it.
An audible click is heard.
Nothing changes though.
No light springs on.
Eddie pulls it again. Softly smiles. Pulls it a couple more times.
Click, click.
Click, click.
Nothing happens.
You’re about to burst with a violent sob when you see how Eddie, entirely in his own thoughts, inside of his own memories, slowly steps into the closet and closes the door behind him.
You hear the clicking of the light a couple more times, and need to step away.
It’s too much.
The visuals of a tiny little malnourished Eddie hiding in a closet unable to reach the string of the light in there is going to make you hyperventilate if you’re not careful, so you have to take a walk.
It’s fucking freezing but hot tears trail down your cheeks as you hurry back to your rental car.
It doesn’t take much longer for Eddie to step outside, leaving the place where he spent the first few years of his life. His long legs carry him over to you quickly.
You can tell that he’s holding back sobs until he’s close enough to crash himself into you.
Arms wrap so tightly, they almost hurt. Bodies wrack with silent sobs until deep breaths calm the both of you down.
It takes a good while.
Eddie is first to pull back, and whilst cupping your face, both his thumbs wiping underneath your eyes in a bid to rid you of your tears, he manages to squeak, “Found him.”
“Yea?” you ask wetly. Hopeful.
This is why you came out here.
To find the small version of Eddie who, even as a toddler, knew that calling out for help was a waste of time because the calls would go unanswered.
To take him home.
“Turned on the–” Eddie throat closes up before he can even say it.
“Turned on the light for him?” you finish for him, and he just nods as he presses his lips together to keep them from wobbling.
Eddie goes in for another hug, hides his face in the side of your neck and grounds himself there.
You can feel how he’s actively trying to steady his own breathing.
It works, eventually.
“Did you…” you start, still holding him, but falter for a moment.
“Did I what?” Eddie asks, sniffing loudly, pulling back after you nudge your nose into his hair.
“Did you take him with you?”
It’s such a silly question. Eddie can’t help the smile that carefully plays at the corner of his mouth, and his eyebrows scrunch up as he looks down at you. He can dissect the question that pops up in the back of his brain for the fourth time today another time. How can he even begin to figure out why he deserves someone like you in his life?
“I did.” He confirms, and you let the breath you were holding escape you in a shudder.
He doesn’t think he deserves you.
“Good.” you smile, and maybe things are starting to look up, a little. Maybe the universe is slowly starting to make amends with Eddie. Is starting to apologize for all the shit it put little Eddie through in this godforsaken place no one should spend more than a single night at.
“Let’s take him home then.”
Eddie cries.
Thought he was done, but he’s not.
He lets you press kisses to the skin just underneath his eyes as he closes them.
He lets you open the car door and help him into the passenger’s seat.
Lets you drive all the way back to Wayne’s whilst he cries, because this is the second time little Eddie makes this trip, from the motel to Forest Hills. But this time he’s not scared.
He knows he’s going to go to a better place.
A safer place.
To a person who will try his very best hand at proper damage control. Who’s got a nice trailer, and a room that will get turned into his own bedroom three days into his stay.
To a person who will join Eddie in the closet for those first few nights. Who will just bring him food in there, have their dinner hidden away together, and who won’t force him out.
Who will play silly games with him in there, until the trips to the bathroom feel safe enough to do on his own.
There’s never other people in the trailer.
Just them.
Safe.
Eddie cries as he remembers more. Thought he had forgotten almost everything, but he remembers so much. He can’t talk about anything yet. Not now. His voice won’t let him. But that’s okay. You’ve got the radio on and need to focus on the road, and you’re taking him back to Wayne, and all he really wants to do is sleep.
And you just drive, and hold Eddie’s hand as he clings to you, and this is good.
It’s good.
Little Eddie deserves the fucking world.
You think so.
And you know of a handful of people who would wholeheartedly agree.
Slowly, you think Eddie might start to understand where you’re coming from.
He was never okay and happy and fine.
Still isn’t okay and happy and fine.
But the light has been switched on.
There’s light now.
He might one day be okay and happy and fine, and that’s something that before today was the most difficult thing to grasp.
“We’re taking you home, kiddo. I got you.” Eddie whispers, soft enough so only he can hear it over the engine and the music coming from the radio.
“Let’s go home.”
---
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I've been digging up some one of my most neglected stories recently and I'm finally actually developing the rest of the cast after like what? 7 or 8 years or smth? I genuinely don't know when I first thought up Lace but she's been floating at the edge of my mind since then as my token true timeloop guy as opposed to Butters who doesn't rly count because the quote unquote timeloop was entirely within their control and only was a continuous loop because they kept consciously trying again and again. Lace on the other hand. Legitimately 100% powerless in her timeloop situation, as in there was quite literally Nothing she could do to end the loops herself. Some gods just threw her in a 50 year timeloop without even doing the bare minimum of telling her first and she just sorta had to live with that until it from her perspective abruptly stopped leaving her to deal with the fallout of everything she went through now that she's suddenly being forced to live a real life again. And as fun as all of that is it has been very stagnated for years because there is in fact a story and world that exists outside of and around this one plot that matter quite a bit and that I have been refusing to properly work on until now lol.
#rat rambles#oc posting#take a wild guess as to why Im thinking abt this story again#anyways longggg story short this is a world filled with various gods that run various kingdoms and such#and some of them have been at war for a long time leaving things for the common folk very unstable and chaotic#due to this adventuring parties started helping ppl out and some of them would gain the blessing of their local god(s)#nowadays its very uncommon for there to be prevelant parties without at least one blessed member and theres some gods who even have set up#schools of sorts for aspiring heros that tend to be very competitive and hard to get into#in the original version of the timeline of this story most of the cast except one met at this school and graduated as a party together#they proceeded to travel around doing their work and picking up their last party member and bonding and all that#until eventually they found out that the god they work under was planning some apocalypse level shit in order to establish control over the#entire planet and the crew turned on her and tried to stop her and got close enough that she took desperate mesures to stop them#she contacted the god of time and commissioned them to rewind and edit the timeline#and while the timeline editing meant that they couldnt rewind enough to go before two of the party were attending the school#they were able to rewrite lace out of the timeline and was able to help sentence them to a timeloop sentence#lace was specifically targeted for being the one who figured most of this stuff out in the first place#now this is where the timeline get a bit wonky because her timeloop actually takes place later on then when time was reset to#it mostly just took a while to get the loop set up but its still a mostly undetermined amount of time later atm as it rly depends on whats#most convenient for me as I develop the rest of her old party more#since they still end up forming a party together anyways despite the best efforts of two powerful gods#Im also planning on adding another member to their party who wasnt in the original party so lace can get upset abt it#but yeah currently the rest of the party includes lace's unnamed older sister and three other losers whos designs have been sitting on my#toyhouse for a while lol#theres raiden who's the sort of adopted child of the god they used to serve#and the theres hill who was the one in the original party who they picked up after graduating and she and lace used to be gay together#and lastly theres choice who was supposed to attend the school but in the current version of reality had their wagon shot down and#wasnt able to make it and has been rly upset and frustrated abt that#the last one is probably going to be a potion guy or smth#Ive also been having a fun time thinkng abt how both versions of the party managed combat since both parties distinctly lack a healer#anyways Im going to bed now gn
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