#ive been wanting to draw the two of them together again since its been so longgg
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double trouble 🙂🙃
#a3!#guy a3!#guy lastname#guy nishiki#itaru chigasaki#ever arts#some of the sketches/pose practices that i did to fill thr void#ive been wanting to draw the two of them together again since its been so longgg#except im in shock at hos they turned out well#my beloved and my beloathed (affectionately)#liber really goes all out with the outfits and i cannot keep up#liber let these two interact more but like not right away cause im recovering#god imagine being in thr same class with them ugh#how would i even focus wtfff they are a menace to society#what if we find ourselves in a kiss kiss fall in love situation what then#when you’re too busy watching two pretty students interact that you don’t realize the danger you’re about to walk into:#the very very expensive vase skfjdifld#ITARUS HAIR OMG IT WAS SUCH A STRUGGLE TO DO#kept telling myself to trust the process ajfjekf#guy looks young with his hair down i c ant#i’ll be honest i blacked out and have no recollection of trying to do middle one#pretty sure thats a leyendecker pose ref#also not gonna mention it but if you notice then good for u#i did it on a whim cause why not HAHA
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how much of his experiences with Caro does Johnny remember rn in SD? Is he getting them back at all?
Spoileryish stuff under the cut for his memories
TL;DR: Initially he remembered almost nothing about it. But now, he remembers that they were a cheerleader and they were friends and he had feelings for them. He remembers the supernatural things. He remembers Caros family was horrible and he wanted to help them, and that he couldnt. He doesnt remember finer details. kisses or hand holding or that they dated. he knows these things because hes been told but the memories arent his right now. but things are coming back.
Long story long RIGHT now at this moment in SD, it still vague for him but he is slowly getting things back. He remembers a cheerleader (he makes reference to a 'cute little cheerleader' in the Creaky chapter that Caro confirms was in fact them.) PTSD, Trauma and brain damage from both abuse and actually physically dying for a short period all contribute to Johnny having a lot of blank spots and fuzzy details in his memories of childhood/teenagehood. He remembers Caro was his neighbor after he puts together that Caro and Carrie are the same person (which takes a bit longer for him since they look and sound a little different these days and his memory of them is distorted, he has no pictures or anything to remind him. There is a scene in Mil-Liminal where Maddie shows him a yearbook photo and at least the part that he knows them QUITE WELL comes crashing back.) He does not remember they did have a chance to become 'official,' and actually dated, it happened so close to his major injuries/brush with death, but he does know it happened at this point, cuz Caro's told him. Things do come back to him, if he's reminded, for instance, Caro being trans now reminds him they told him about it once when they were kids, that it was something he knew about. Caro having their attack the night he hangs out with them reminds him they've ALWAYS experienced the supernatural. he falls into patterns with them that he did when he was younger, such as the way he sings to them or held them because of habit and familiarity even if he doesnt exactly remember. He's slowly putting the pieces back together as they are presented to him. i was asked while writing this reply if he has sense memory, and yes, caros scent, the feel of them, songs they liked together, if he ever gets into the Datsun again, all those things play into it. He does NOT remember the pendant Caro wears. Or that he gave it to them. Or that it was even his. When Caro speaks of him in the podcast, and he listens to it, he does not realize its him they are talking about. When they tell him it was about him, he actually still has a hard time believing that someone could speak about HIM in such a poetic and yearning way. Theres many things he remembers, and many things he knows because hes been told, but he does still have a hard time distinguishing which is which. I do want to note that there is inconsistencies in SD when it comes to these two, mostly because their relationship wasnt actually supposed to be canon, and Caro wasnt supposed to be in SD at all, its been a fun challenge to tie things back together with it, when i first started making the comic, I decided I'd leave room in my narratives for me to be creative and change up original concepts and even the way i draw if i wanted too as long as the Main Story was consistent, which helps keep things fun to create for me, especially for something ive been working on for 6 years! I'm actually touching on Johns memories in i think next months episode of SD, (it can be read early on Tapas's Early access with ink right now) so theres definitely more about it coming up <3
-RJ
#ask box things#poor sweet johnny#childhood trauma#ptsd recovery#relationships#seemingly dark#trans#i always write WAY TOO MUCH for these but i find it really inspiring#memory
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The Sea Prince; Betas and Sketches!
Hello! been a bit since ive done a sketch dump, but it isnt just a sketch dump, it's an announcement!
As @mewhoismyself and I work on the fic, we need an active set of beta readers! The two we have our wonderful, but to keep with the schedule, we need some extra hands and fresh eyes!
Hence, beta readers are once again open!
I am looking for two betas who are experienced in writing, and who are active to give their insights and feedback! currently, i am writing chapter 17, but while i do that, i'd need the feedback as soon as i can get it so i can prepare it for the chapter release dates. shoot a comment down below so i can check your account!
anyway, here's some doodles <3
ONE OF THESE IMAGES BELOW HAVE BLOOD. I AM WARNING YOU NOW.
first off, here's a joke made by a friend :> martyn is scott's babygirl, boom, its canon-
starting off, here's some silhouettes for the other princes ;D I can't reveal them, otherwise the surprise would be ruined! they're all based on different sea creatures, but they are just as scary as Prince Pearl and Prince Chromia. theres other designs i have to get to, but this is a sneak peak of the other terrors lurking in the dark.
speaking of, I got a fun doodle of em <3 the good thing about eating underwater is that they won't get all messy, but there are those times where an audience might watch them eat, they're messy eaters!
these two are pretty, but i really wanted to push their freakier, scarier sea prince sides! more slight changes, but they're both quite fun to draw! their contrasting designs are so much fun to draw together, i love these sillies! oh- and here's a bloodless version!
i absolutely LOVE my sea prince designs, scott and pearl just itch me the right way.
and before i pop off, here's some concept designs for joey and sausage, along with fwhip and gem! since gem is officially a lifer, i think her role in the story might be a bit more focused on, who knows!
wanted to make sure sausage didn't look like his pirates look :0c this au was originally before pirates smp, so i wanted to differentiate them somehow, so i pulled a lot from their empires' attire and see what works! what do you think?
finally, we have the cover art board! im planning to put this all in my pinned post the moment all the covers drop, but goodness, those eyes sure are pretty!
what do you think of the au so far? enjoying it? i hope you are! this au is such a blast <3
#the sea prince au#limited life#limited life smp#life series#life smp#trafficblr#majorwood#mean gills#coral kids#scottyn#scott smajor#smajor1995#dangthatsalongname#martyn inthelittlewood#martyn itlw#inthelittlewood#inthelittewood fanart#grian#pearlescentmoon#pearlescentmoon fanart#mythicalsausage#joey graceffa#geminitay#fwhip#tsp art
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Warning: Yandere, Mentioning of an accident, blood, wounds, Needles/IV Drips (Hospital thematic in general), Murder and Suicidal Thoughts
A yandere who always brings fresh flowers when they visit you in the hospital.
The nurses love them, doctors smile at them, and they are generally known as the sweetest and kindest visitor by everyone. It's such a tragedy that you are hospitalized, unable to do much as your body recovers from a tragic accident. But luckily, you have such a wonderful partner who—despite everyone believing they greatly suffer in silence as well—comes to visit you every day. Everyone is swooning about the yan's dedication to you, the way their face lights up when they talk about how amazing you are and how much they love you. They have everyone fooled completely.
No one would suspect they are the reason you are hospitalized.
"I told you to be more careful who you're hanging out with," they reprimand you with a smile curling their lips upwards, holding your hand with the IV needle inserted, and letting their thumb caress your weak joints gently. There's a scolding in the way they pick on your scratches, opening them until they draw blood, but their hold on you is reverent. As if they feared losing you once again if they let go. They told you so many times to stay away from other people! Assuring you countless of days that you only need the yan by your side! But you just wouldn't listen to them... Look what that did to you.
You can only watch them through heavily lidded eyes, barely fully awake with the pain meds clouding your mind. No one can blame you for not truly realizing everything the yan is doing by your bedside. And yet, in the few moments of clarity, when your gaze falls on them, your eyes are filled with deep hatred, only the tube down your throat preventing you from screaming at them.
If only you had listened to them, they wouldn't have needed to take such drastic measures to assure you'd be in a controlled environment, somewhere only carefully selected people could attend to you—including the yandere. Buying you a single room and only putting the best doctors in charge with a small fee to silence them had been much easier than getting you into the hospital in the first place. Perhaps your selfish, little heart will never understand how much pain the yandere had been in before they assured you couldn't go anywhere without their permission anymore. It was not easy to hurt the person they love the most, but it was a necessity. They did it because they love you. They care for you. They adore you.
Now they can finally bask in the glory of it only being you two. Sun shining in from the large windows they opened for you, the summer breeze rustling through their hair and putting its tender winds on your heated skin to soothe. A fresh bouquet of flowers at your bedside, smelling like the outdoors that you'll no longer get to see, and a plate with apple slices in the yan's lap that they pretend to feed you before acting as if they realize it doesn't work since your mouth is occupied, grinning as they say, "Oopsie!" and proceed to eat the fruit themself. No screaming, crying and arguing about things they yan doesn't even want to remember, just the peace of you two being together and the beeping of the machine's keeping you alive.
It's the type of peace the yan could seriously get used to, but despite breaking so many bones, they know they won't be able to keep you here forever. At some point, you will regain control over your broken body. It's not a question of if. It's a question of what comes first: motor function or your voice. Then, the struggle will resume, and this time, more people will be involved than just the few annoying 'friends' the yan had to get rid of after taking care of you. They were too intrusive and accusatory. They thought they knew better than the yan, so they had to teach your friends a lesson they'd remember forever.
Before the yan leaves, they always pull your hand to their lips, kissing it as they promise you their undying love and devotion, in sickness and health, till death do you part. All while they eye the plugs supplying your machines with electricity before forcing their gaze back to you. Even battered and bruised, you are a sight for their sore eyes, and there's nothing they'd rather look at than you, knowing that if you were gone, they'd wither away like a plant without their sun. There is nowhere the yan wouldn't follow you, even beyond the mortal bounds. If you're not on this earth anymore, they will have no reason to remain either. But until then, the yan will gaze upon you for as long as possible, poison their thoughts further as they fill their mind with the sight of you.
Because if they can't have you, no one can.
Even if it kills you both.
#yandere talk#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere fanfiction#yandere writing#yandere stories#yandere oneshots#yandere oneshot#yandere drabble#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#Yandere TW
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@mcytblrholidayexchange gift for @irrealisms !! you had lots of prompt ideas for writing, but not for art, so i hope you're happy with eclipse federation misery and agony compilation, plus song lyrics
lyric credits: Temporary - Chase Petra / Stranger - The Mechanisms / Easier - The Crane Wives (appears four times) / Two Birds - Regina Spektor / Little Soldiers - The Crane Wives (appears twice) / Heretic Pride - The Mountain Goats
feel free to ask if you want me to adjust some text to make it more readable or something, i think it looks fine but i know different peoples eyes and devices are different, and if i had more time i would definitely have spent more time messing with the colors on everything
speaking. of time. im really sorry i took so long ._. i kind of suck at estimating how long projects will take and how much time i have. thanks for being so patient!!
oh, also, some lyrics and drawings have story reasons for being grouped together, and some went where they looked good. uh. ideally id make sure everything had reason for its location, but this is one area where i did correctly estimate my time, instead of getting stuck in the planning phase.
also in the process of typing all this ive already gone back twice to change stuff in the images and re-add them to the post lol
OH also!! the part where vitalasy jumps off to his death! is as far as i can tell NOT canon accurate!! all the footage shows him jumping off the prison, since thats where he respawns. i didnt think to check this until after id already drawn most of the stuff, and already had the prison drawn, and i didnt want to reorganize the drawing. im telling myself that we only see a few of the later deaths and so theoretically the first one could have been jumping off a grassy ledge somewhere but its still bothering me and i needed to mention it.
anyway yeah really hope you like it i tried some new stuff with this one im not sure how well it turned out and thanks again for being so patient!!
EDITING TO ADD SOME MORE WORDS!!! i love talking about my art! so first, all the text on signs and stuff i did go back and look at videos and vods to make sure was entirely accurate, and i wrote all the words entirely by myself. for the lyrics and other text(death message and DELIVERANCE), i used a text tool first to make sure the words would be neat and where i needed them, and then traced over that on a new layer and deleted the original text layer. my handwritting fucking sucks always no matter what, this was a very necessary step. also! this is officially the first thing i have drawn entirely on my phone, rather than on my ipad like i used to do! also i dont use a stylus of any type i just draw with my finger lol.
#eclipse federation#vitalasy#princezam#itzsubz#mcyt#edited to add EVEN MORE WORDS below the cut. i am the yapper#lifesteal smp#chara makes things#<-somehow both tags i originally forgot.#EDITING AGIN. third edit. first was extra text second was extra tags this is for a critical spelling error(used a - instead of a / as the#divider between two songs by accident)
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I want to know more about the m9 artist au!! I remember reading a post or two about it a billion years ago (and would love to read them again) 💜
hi jess!!!! thank u for being interested hehe :")
so ever since i drew that lil thing of essek painting a frank stella inspired painting (or even before), ive been thinking of what kinds of art each of the m9 would do. essek ofc is inspired by a minimalist show that i went to here, all the big names from that movement were shown, but those really dark, sinkhole-like paintings are speaking to me. another artwork of boxes made of mirrors also seems like the thing he would do too
there's a kiln here that we visited which was huge, and surrounding it were artists' studios and some other ceramic sellers, i imagine the clay family having a place like this in the middle of nowhere amongst the trees, and caleb would do his work there
anyways because at heart im a shadowgast luver its centred around them,, they meet at an artist residency or something like that and its an incredibly slow burn that involves talking and not-talking and looking and not-looking. in the end i am but a simple wong kar wai fan so. that kinda vibes would definitely influence this, i would describe it as a quiet burning i guess?? time skipy and words that are not said
i think im gonna rant a bit more about their different mediums and styles so i'll keep it under the cut
i think caleb sculpts figures and portraits, but in a sad, kathe kollwitz charcoal vibe. maybe some funky looking animals, perhaps some pots and vases to look at the pretty glazes. he's interested in using fire to burn texture into different mediums, like ive seen it being used on shellac to make a really cool net of ink looking structure.. but yknow, just seeing the aftermath of glazed ceramic from the kiln is enough, and probably better for him to keep his distance anyways
the clay family produces most of the ceramic to sell, vases, pots, plates, cups, teapots, yknow just a whole array. and its really colourful too, depicting every family members different style. i think caduceus would do some matte glazes with a lot of different colours, theyre all a little wonky but theyre better off that way anyways. he does some really mean ink calligraphy and painting though
jester definitely does,, everything, whatever her heart desires kinda thang. she makes pastel textile installations and lighthearted cute paintings, but theyre always so contemplative and soothing. she gets m9 a lot of work cus her mom has connections, etc etc. i really love the idea of jester creating works that talk about the female body and femininity (definitely not projecting no)
beau is a printmaker and photographer who's really experimental, she loves cyanotypes and printing flowers (for yasha), idk she seems like she would put fabric and rocks into the washing machine to see what would happen. u would probably catch her in someone elses studio learning about what they do or in the library learning about what old people did
veth works in a museum as a curator, getting beau to help her sometimes with gathering artworks and artists etc. she probably organises community art projects for kids and public art installations. her house is full of m9's artworks and various other artists shes worked with.
yasha does bouquets as her post-retirement part time job, prior to that no one really knows what she did ("she probably murdered a bunch of people and is now hiding from the government"). fjord draws comics for fun but is also not a job for him, molly is a question mark for me. but these guys probably wont be in it as much anyways
im still not sure what format i wanna do this in, im actually having fun just writing it in my notebook now (digital does not facilitate the creative juices) but i do want to do some visuals like fake movie stills or storyboards. maybe they will work together well???? dunno. working on the other shadowgasty thing im doing made me realise how much easier it is to draw when there's a script already there, so im writing the script for myself
im definitely not as practiced in writing as i am in drawing, but idk im just gonna have some fun and see where that takes me, meanwhile try not to feel too bad that its fanart HAHA (very bad habit)
edit: i just saw my previous thoughts on beau being an art journalist, but i kinda like this better.. but maybe she can do both muah
#working tag for this ->#the kiln#honestly if u had any tips for writing#i'd love to hear..#i was insulted once on my writing and never wrote again HADHSFHF#oh and also emo smoking#that is somethng i want to draw more of
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(OOC) Explaining what has been going on with my blogs + Some small info about the projects
Hello everypony! It is i, mod Clown, with just a small update that i will be posting here on Robin's blog since it is the only one that i THINK tumblr hasnt completely cut its reach. I will be also be reblogging it in my other active blogs so everyone can see it and i will be putting it in muns corner too since it kinda is an update since i called it it (?) but anyways!
I wanted to make this post since last time i just announced the shutdown of two of my blogs with no reason given and didn't even explained what would happen with the others and with my ongoing projects, so now i wanted to explain it further + maybe yap a little since i'm just built like that......
I will probably yap a lot in this, so i separated each topic and put it under the cut if any of you guys wanna jump in the most important part :3 soooo if you wanna know the updates, look under this Sunday.
About the Murder Disco essence
Since this is the project i'm doing in this blog, i decided to talk about it first. I have been planning this essence since the start of June, and, although i have all the characters chosen and each of their roles and order of deaths planned, i haven't been able to do a lot for it, even if i'm currently on vacation. I want to apologize about it to all the muns who have given me their respective muses to participate in it, i have simply been feeling quite desmotivated to make any art and i was also not. Liking the designs i was making.
But i have picked it up back some days ago! And currently i have 7 designs already finished + they have been drawn on the main essence poster! I will try my best now to finish it all before August ends! Again, i want to apologize for the time it is taking, but i promise i am working on it again. (Like just look at how much time ive spent on the essence poster.....)
Anyways i promise i haven't forgot about ir nor abandoned the project! I thank you all for your patience!!!!
Currently, i have 7/12 skins made, and i have already plans for most of them, i just need to get with actually drawing them! So i will be focusing on doing so now! 🙏
About @askthepianist and @theheavenshospital
So just to put all the info in the same post, i will also be talking about both blogs. I made a post some weeks ago about these blogs being shutdown, but didn't gave any info about it.
What i will be actually doing is just. Moving them to a new blog. I should have said it like that when i first made the posts but when i made it i was a bit tired, so i apologize for that. But yeah, i will be moving both Angeline and Pietro to a new blog, as i will be putting all the Paganini siblings together. I just think that they have a lot of lore and it is a bit of a waste to just show it in small events i do in Angie's blog, so yeah!
Alongside that, the Phantom of the Opera essence i made for Angeline will still be going! It will only be posted in this new blog i'm currently working on. When it will be released?...I'm gonna be honest, i don't know. I think it is pretty clear that i am very bad with dates, but i will be trying to post it asap!
Anyways if any of you guys have read this entire yap session, thank you very much! I will try not dissappearing suddenly again, and while were at it i also want to thank yall for the support you have been giving me.
Anyways, peace love and sunday ftw
#✿' mod post#aughghghgh im yapping too much im sorryguys#i also hope this doesnt sound like a pity party 😭
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So, this has been floating around in my head all morning... Give really feels like it's actually a duet between Sleep and Vessel.
Consider the first verse:
You take the dark and carve me out a home I picture you when you are all alone I know how we got here I know how we got here I am the shadow, you're a passenger I am the intake of breath so sharp and I know you better Just want to know you better
The first two lines sound very much like they'd be from Vessel's POV, singing about how Sleep's taken the darkness surrounding them both and carving a home for him, though it's interesting that he specifies that it's a home for himself specifically, not for them both. This is amplified by the next line, it's not thinking of Her when they're alone together, or thinking of Her when he's alone, he's specifically picturing Her when She's alone. That has a couple of different readings: is he picturing Her in a state of solitude, or is he doing so when She's alone like how one might pray for someone in times of need, or some kind of cosmic sense that tells him when She's alone? If this is in fact Sleep being sung to here, that could be its own kind of offering to lend Her strength, since faith and devotion are so critical to Sleep's well-being to begin with.
In my mind, you have Vessel singing the first "I know how we got here", with Sleep coming in for the second, either solo or together, transitioning between the two points of view.
Then, we can take a look at the final three lines. The comment of being a "passenger" reminds me of Granite, of being "more than just a body in your passenger seat". I usually interpret Granite as being from Vessel's POV, though there are some readings that do challenge that. For now, I'm operating off the assumption that Vessel is the passenger here. Thus, who could be the shadow but Sleep? These three lines are really interesting too when it comes to the overall tone; to me, this feels very subtly... not degrading, but self-important, perhaps? Which is also fitting for Sleep at times, if you go off of something like Ascensionism. Vessel is "a" passenger, indicating that there could be others, and yes there's espera in addition to ii and iii and iv, but Vessel's always been /the/ main one, the first, not relegated to the same stature as the others, as if he was just i. Then you have Her say not just that She wants to know him better, but that She knows him better already. That in and of itself could mean several things, but my personal reading is that She's saying She knows him better than to believe/trust/take at face value something that he's saying or doing. Yet despite that, She still wants to know even more.
Onward, then, to the second verse:
I'll tear the fiber from the filament I'll be the limit of your light again I want to taste you better I want to taste you better I will be watching for your enemies To let them know that they contend with me I want to know you're out there I want to know you're out there
For the first four lines, I have a lot of thoughts on how Vessel talks about electronics and code, but for now... You can read the first two lines as being from either perspective, really, but either POV is expressing some pretty serious power dynamics. Here, I'm going to assume he is talking about fiber-optic cables because of the specific words being used here, but there are other types of cables you could draw connections with as well.
Fiber-optic cables are different from other kinds of cables because of these additional 'optical fibers' that are usually in the center, which specifically carry light. They're used very widely, most famously in internet and telecommunication, because compared to regular cables they have higher bandwidth and much faster long-distance communication, and breaks down less often. The optical fiber, simply put, is what makes all of those things possible; without it, if you tore the fiber from the surrounding filament and protective casings in the cable, you wouldn't just be destroying the pathway the light travels down, you would completely remove the ability to communicate with it. It's a line with very sweeping implications.
Limiting the light of Sleep, of Sleep's ability to grow by threatening to withhold offerings or anything else She might want - or perhaps this being Sleep threatening to take away what Vessel's been given earlier, to take him mentally back to where he was when he relied solely on Her. Which way you read it depends mostly on how you interpret Sugar and how you interpret all the imagery of cables and wires and code etc. To me, this reads as Vessel, but in either case it's incredibly possessive, wanting to hold the other close to taste them and take everything they can give while still wanting to provide.
The first "I want to taste you better" is a clear prelude to Sugar, and here there's nothing to imply that the singer already knows the other's taste, so it's likely implied that during this song, and the final chorus in particular, this is what's happening, unless Gods is your pick for that moment in time.
For the final four lines, you also have these layered vocals for "I will be watching for your enemies / To let them know what they contend with me", though this time the other vocals are lower that Vessel's standard register in the song. It's a nice choice in the sound mixing to imply something more aggressive, like it's being spoken through gritted teeth, or perhaps more of a growl. Now, with Vessel being described as Sleep's "weapon of choosing" (depending on how you interpret Blood Sport), this could be Vessel speaking towards Sleep, a promise to fulfill his duty as a weapon, or this could be Sleep, promising to shield Vessel from enemies from the past and use Her presence, regardless of how much power She actually holds, to ward others off.
Now there's the bridge:
In this open warfare I won't fight fair No, I won't fight fair And in your waking moments I will be there I will be there
At this point in the song, taken as a duet, is when we have them singing either in tandem or switching off frequently enough to indicate that they are effectively being sung simultaneously. Here we again have this open acknowledgement of the conflict between the two of them, starting quietly with Vessel's voice somewhat placed to the back, before it comes in stronger in the third line. They'll each do what needs to be done in order to get what they want. It's a quiet admission, to the self or to the other, but as far as this song cares, those are indistinguishable.
Likewise, Vessel's waking moments are Sleep's waking moments, and they'll each be there for the other, no longer having to deal with loneliness like at the start of the song. It's a sentiment that Granite later highlights when Vessel outright says "we'd rather be six feet under than be lonely", and even in that song, using the first-person plural further supports the idea that both of them are echoing this sentiment.
Then, finally, the chorus. I tackled all three as a single entity.
If you want to give Then give me all that you can give All your darkest impulses and If you want to give me anything Then give, give in again I just want to give Want to give you all that I can give All my darkest impulses If you want to give me anything Then give, give in again
The chorus when looked at as a whole, is like a dance to me, which is what inspired the post to begin with. Their layered vocals with as wide a differences between octaves giving a strong sense of two separate characters, and here each one is wanting the same thing from the other. This again draws comparisons to Ascensionism, but in this case it's much less openly destructive - less of an open and aggressive consumption so much as an offering of its own, wanting both to take whatever the other can offer while doing the same in return. Taken as a duet, these words belong to both of them, and with the lyrics, them to one another.
There's a beautiful back-and-forth happening between the balancing of the vocal tracks both as each chorus plays out as well as when you look at them as a whole. We have new harmonies added with each repetition of the chorus until the final one, following the second "I will be there" of the bridge. The truly special thing about this final chorus is how that line is drawn out before finally turning into its own vocal flair that extends throughout the entirety of that chorus. "I will be there", a sentiment that trails into and colors the entire thesis of the song, and by extension, their entire relationship.
#frankly i'm a little surprised this one isn't a waltz#sleep token#had no idea how to format this thing so under the cut it all goes ^^''#aqua's offerings
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another rant: my tumblr era has started i feel withdrawals…
i might not finish this so if it gets posted. something won but drawing most definitely did not ToT anywho this is in fact another persona rant! im fixated on kingdom hearts pretty heavily now but i still hold persona very very dear to me as we now dhskd im here to rant about the aigis and yukari, this wont be as in depth as last rant but hey its worth a try and its been on my mind why not
thinking about aigis’ character and everything about her character down to her bisexuality really makes me wish they explored her humanity more. i know she wasn’t an allegory really or anything of that sort just more of a “plot device” of sorts to help handle the theme of appreciating your humanity and living and all that. but i love her so much so yes, as indulgent as it is, i want to explore that for her hehe. since i played the game and my fixation and love for aigis had commenced, ive always sorta shipped her with yukari i guess? because i think they would really nice together lmao and also because i think there’s so much potential between a dynamic like that between the two of them.
i was working on a fanfic idea and i had written some stuff i really liked but in short the idea was about aigis and yukari and how their relationship would develop during the answer time or after the events of the main game basically and how they would deal with makoto’s death in a rather odd manner to say. mind you, ive never seen the answer dlc and knew very little about it so i sort of didn’t include that specific time but anywho, no matter all that, the point of in short is that aigis and yukari only really find that sort of sense of “love” in each other because they both remind each other of makoto. i know that sounds probably insane and i don’t really like writing about gay couples and just focusing it so much on societal standards or like in sapphic relationships for example, i don’t like the fact so many are based around men and comphet and all that but i feel that this would be such an issue for how aigis and yukari would navigate their lives afterwards, as of course it would be, i think it has a lot of potential to be discussed and i know atlus would never state it the way that i think it would look but just in the friends way and not in the jealous “he was mine!!” way, its so ridiculous bc again, i havent seen it myself but i know its handled so horribly i dont even wanna imagine. ill see it eventually ToT
but anywho, i think their relationship has a lot of potential to be explored. just the ship dynamic in general and aigis having to handle teen emotions lmao. i think her being extremely awkward and learning the concept of embarrassment would be hilarious i mean mostly tragic but in a way, it’s something that could speak to a lot of people. and i know the game didn’t have time to really explore that and i think surprisingly they did pretty well with what they did with aigis and just that game in general (the first and last time lmao) but im just saying whatever yk fhsjfb
i just wish more media expanded on what toxic relationships genuinely are. i wish more ppl thought critically and realized the very thin but visible line between toxic and abusive and didn’t either glorify or exaggerate it so much yk? like i wish more media discussed mutually toxic relationships and actually didn’t put such a disgusting narrative like they always do especially with gay women and sapphic couples. just for the fetish it’s absolutely disgusting just like with gay men and the power dynamics its like… why. why are we missing the point here how do we manage to make the same mistakes everytime ToT i like aigis and yukari as a ship because its something that already in itself is a bit questionable to say the least and it could really feed off well on that differentiation between their humanity you know? and also handling grief but realizing that its the same and they both need to let go you know? it’s like even with yukari and mitsuru, i wish more people didn’t treat them like “aww cute gay girl couple from persona 3!! yass lesbians diversity win!!” and actually thought on the WAY bigger picture that their relationship is and just how messy and complicated and tbh, really unfortunate it would be. although i do think that mitsuru and yukari would probably “be together” late in the future like probably reconnect late 20s or smth but it would all have to be secret and still, mitsuru would never be able to really be with her due to the company and marrying off and all that. and just with mitsuru’s avoidant personalty and a bit of nativity and i personally headcanon yukari with bpd or just a more emotionally based personality disorder so those leading factors would probably make their relationship to actually come to fruition so difficult
ok i was going to finish this and ill still post it but my head hurts so bad rn i hate playing kingdom hearts the graphics are miserable omg.. so ima head to sleep at only 3 am like a loser.. goodnight to the dust under the bed and alsoooo
goodnight too to the inspo for today’s rant.. i was finally able to get my hands on a baby aigis and she has arrived and im so happy i feel like a father right now… even the box has naorise tooo like fjskfjr♪٩(๑>ꇴ< ๑)و ♪ …you all better say goodnight to my child im looking at you too dust bunnies dont think i forgot
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i dont really share things about my personal life very much anywhere... but i just want to share a bit.
i finished finals for my hardest class load so far, but im afraid that i spent a little too much time with art when i should have been studying, that i didnt do as well as i anticipated. well, i probably shouldnt have taken them all together in the first place-_- but now i should be finished with my two years by next spring. and i need to begin applying to programs...
now finals are over since yesterday, and i think i will have some more time to draw and practice with other things. unfortunately for me, ive just always loved to draw, so i cant ever imagine myself stopping. -____-
anyway, if youre reading this, thank you so much for being with me, even if im still not very consistent with what i want my art to look like (and the things i draw.). it makes me so happy that there are people who like to see it. i want to finish spectacular spiderman, and create more goods (its really strange to see something you draw with a drawing tablet in a tangible form.)
i think im done rambling. thank you again if you read this far... im just trying to survive a little in my academic life, and in my hobby life (even if i wish it was my job!) i hope i can resume drawing this weekend. ^^
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not 2 brag but ive offically reach 100 likes YIPPIE !!!!
anyways i thought abt the thiefKAI au (gosh i hate KAI so mcuh hes always in my head) and i tried 2 make like drawing 4 it.
so basically if this was a long au i think itd start, yk, at the start so at the time KAIs just starting out but like gaining traction from society or whatever
so these are what i had in mind for like his og look, i gave him this fat hood bc A, i cant draw hoods and B, i think he looks silly (in a good way) erm and his shirt reached to just under the crotch. gosh erm i didnt like saying that, can i say upper middle thigh reigion ?? uhhh yeah. OH and the question is raised oh yeab sure its makes sense he could have become a thief because he needs food and supplies for him and NYA but why is he becoming some big scale infamous theif ?? thank you fot asking and well my answer is GARMADON (aaaahh!!) or some other large scale villain hiring KAI to steal all this expensive important stuff to yk exchange for money. the villain gets to progress with thier evil scheme and KAI, who is yk oblivious, gets money from it - win win situation.
i was thinking about giving well known better off more successful theifKAI to be wearing an oni mask, yk the full coverage and cool power boost (specifically the mask of hatred because it turns u all lava-y and how the color ourple is associated with royaltly and therefore the wealth and expense KAI loathed for in childhood which i think would be a nice way 2 tie it all together) but idk if that made him too OPish if yk what i mean but then again its not like hes in awarw of the other two masks, not that he'd go on a quest for them unless he knew they were valuable so maybe i will give him the mask.
and o my dear friends you may wonder AA WHAT ABOUT NYA ??? FEAR NOT compadre for i have a plan for him HOHO. so obviously NYA isnt oblivious to her brother's job shenanigans but hes kept enough of it away from her that she doesnt have enough of the pieces to put it all together so basically he has no idea whats goinf on with her brother. however NYA does manage to grow up somewhat comfortably and she manages to secure his place quite high in BORG.INC, aha saying INC kinda makes it sound evil. in this way she gets acquainted with PIXAL, ZANE and JAY who are during this time all ninja bc yk BORG stuff. btw we are moving this all into an au where the world turns out somehwat the same even without KAI just so i dont have to imagine the whole word differently bc thatd be hard and id make plenty of inconsistencies. ANYWYAS theyre all friends which is cool however NYA has a secret identity, ull never guess it,,,, SAMURAI X whoo !!!! SAMURAIX is a solo vigilante that not only stops crime but sometimes teams up with the NINJA (whos identies are secret) to fight bigger gangs.
everyone gets acquainted during one of KAIs heists where hes tryna steal, idk a golden weapon because theyv all been dug up and put on display in old rich peoples homes. i feel KAI is more on the stealth side of things but once he engages into battle he likes to be a little eccentric but cornered hes awfully angsty. this is indeed still and elemental master au! however KAI and NYA have not yet realised they can will the elements.
ill stop drawing KAI now i need 2 draw the other members, its literally been months since ive drawn LLOYD and ive never drawn PIXAL,,, someone please take this au i want 2 see something be done witj it TT
#ninjago#kai ninjago#lego ninjago#nya ninjago#ninjago au#ninjago lloyd#zane ninjago#jay ninjago#ninjago fanfiction#pixal ninjago#ninjago fanart
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Hello. It's been a few years since i made this blog and made my first post. I now deleted my first post bc i found it to be cringe and honestly really painful. i have grown a lot in these past years and have seemingly beat my hallucinations for now. i know that will most likely come back prob once i become a mother one day but i feel more prepared to beat them again.
Other than that i dumped and got dump by two partners, made and lost almost all my friends besides one. dont judge by like im sure many of us are im a sucker for the friends turned lovers trope and well ive been dating my best friend for almost going 2 years now. he has been super accepting, a wonderful partner and my biggest support thru it all so far. hes my only support system honestly.
i am deeply scared to make friends again after what my last friend did to me.. for years and i just let her. i cant really blame it on having low self worth either since i honestly really like myself and who i am but more so i didnt know HOW to be treated by others. let me be clear NOT how I treat others, no-no but HOW others SHOULD treat ME. isnt that nuts? you think that would be something we just have inside of us as humans (or otherwise) that we would just KNOW that. i dont FEEL like a doormat either but maybe i am. not with everyone, mind you. just like people ive grown to have developed a trusting bond in with respect packed in there like a mozzie stick, yum, ya know? i love em like chosen family and youre gonna body shame me for not being short for a woman, like what? you think i wouldve picked it out asap that chick SCREAMED pick me but i also saw her good qualities too which is why i wanted to be friends with her... i trusted her a lot. Oh well tho.
As much as it still hurts sometimes the fear is still there. i, as a woman also fear other woman. i know, i know. there is so many other wonderful women out there who would never treat me so badly but my brain is gone broken from so many traumatizing events over and over again. it irrational, i know it. its also isolating. i dont go out much at all but honestly blame the economy for that. i plan to be getting a part time job soon which you can also blame the economy for haha but also i want to meet people and have some kinda structure in my life again. hoping for friends right now is something im maybe not ready for honestly i think ill just start with talking to people again and let that be that. i hope to get some kind of a cleaning job so it will be a little to no talking to people depending on where im set up.
im just kinda scared to open myself up again to other people. online of course is different mainly besides the usual explanation but also for me, the internet is a black hole where NO ONE see the crap i shit out which includes my art i make sadly. i dont really try all like hard to make people see it anyways. i am still scared of people after all.
anyways today i have plans to hang out with my partner before he has to go to work. im hoping we can play palworld together again hehe. Other than that its house chores and back to drawing for me today. i just came out of another depressive episode recently so i have a few great messes to clean up. its a good thing i like cleaning, ya know when i dont feel like i wanna disappear. what can i say, its genetic. thanks, dad haha.
im planning to get back into my old hobbies too like live streaming. ive been live streaming all over the internet off and on since i was maybe 14. im 23 now so 10 years!!! WOWIE!! when i was growing up my family would joke around saying i need my own reality show haha. i do have a huge personality, ig but thats something im very comfortable and like about myself. bold and funny, i think!! streaming is a super relaxing thing to me. i talk to myself anyways and i always have. you dont stay this "sane" without talking to yourself to fight off the loneliness haha.
that reminds me recently my partner told me he found me to be a "increaser of morale, an inspiring person, you're motivating and you make being emotionally positive SO EASY." im still so stunned and very very VERY flattered he told me that! even if its not true im glad he feels that way bc thats a nice way to be. hes very very sweet to me.
well i could write forever right now honestly but i should probably go drink enough water to take out a house fire so i dont die of dehydration.
oh, if only. (JOKING)
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Feels great to be ignored. Being ignored unintentionally hurts worse tho
#i dont feel ignored if we are in the same online space and are just vibing together this isnt about anyone HERE#its on that new server with the kids ive been talking about#i asked a week or so ago if anyone wanted to watch pacific rim w me and then no one responded. at all#so i left it alone for a week cause its not like discord screen share or the movie pirate is going anywhere#i asked again today but said id take suggestions since i think its an action movie and a new person asked what pacific rim was. i told them#nothing for a lil less than an hour and then someone asked to play a game and didnt even say anything about the movie thing#him and another joined vc and played i assume. i played two rounds of thegame separately cause it felt awkward to join when there was just 2#i asked in the mutes channel if they were still playing (they were in vc)#i checked back 5 minutes later and they were gone :(#i dont think it was /intentional/ but thats what made it hurt /worse/ ya know#yall cant even read up 3 messages? and respond? or tell me that you were done for the moment or something?#i like these guys but god. i KNOW yall can read :((#anyways lil vent done now imma go draw and listen to tscosi again. never fails to make me feel better.#id say ill update if something happens but idk if anything will so :(#(anyways yea idek if they know tumblr exists so def not anyone here)
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The Past Can Break You - 1
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
AU: Avengers
Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?
A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.
--
If someone asked you what you loved about being an Avenger, you would definitely say the people. Not even the people you save, but the other members of your team who have become your family. See, you didn’t have a family growing up, and when Tony brought you into the Avengers you had no idea that he was also bringing you into the family.
Sam, Steve, and Thor were your big brothers, always protective. Natasha and Wanda were your best friends and sisters. Tony was definitely a father figure to you as well as one of your favorite people in the world. Bruce and Vision were two very good friends that you knew you could always count on. And Scott was the funniest person on the planet and always made you laugh.
But none of them compared to Bucky. When you first joined the avengers Bucky was new too. You guys became very close friends and eventually developed a very loving relationship. He was nervous at first to ask you out because it had been so long since he dated anyone. When he was back in the 40s he was definitely a ladies man but now he was more reserved and shy, which you didn’t mind.
Before you started dating he did tell you about his first love, Dot. You knew that she was his first love and tried not to be jealous of a woman from the 40s, and you tried not to compare his love to her to his love for you. You knew he missed her, but hopefully now that he was dating you, not as much, as selfish as that sounds.
You now have been dating Bucky for 2 1/2 years, and it’s safe to say that he is the love of your life. You both moved into the same room and spend as much time together as possible when you’re not on missions. In fact you’re out with Natasha and Wanda right now getting a special gift to wear tonight with Bucky.
“What’s the occasion for this again?” Natasha asked.
“Oh nothing, just feel like making him feel special,“ you say with a wink. Both girls rolled her eyes at you and continue searching for the perfect lingerie for you to wear for him.
When you got back to the compound you walk to the common room with your new purchase super excited to show your soldier later.  you see everyone standing around staring at this big contraption that’s now in the middle of the common room. You walk up and stand next to your boyfriend staring at both the contraption and Tony who looks super excited.
“What the hell is this?“ you ask. 
Tony looks at you and see the excitement in his eyes like a kid on Christmas. “I’m not sure. I found it in the archives when I was looking for something. I thought we could all open it up together,” her says.
You look at your boyfriend who gives you a shrug of his shoulders and a smirk, “He has been like this for a half hour,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer, kissing the top of your head.
“Where were you off to?” He asks, ignoring the commotion for a moment.
“Oh just picking up something for you… for me to wear… in bed.. tonight,” you say.
You see Bucky’s eyes darken as he leans closer to you, “well can’t wait to see it and rip it off of you then, Doll,” he whispers in your ear before placing his lips on yours.
You giggle as you then lean your head toward Tony and the contraption. You see Tony pressing a few buttons before some air or steam come out the top and the door opens. When the steam clears you all see there is a woman inside who appears to still be alive.
“It’s a cryogenic chamber!” Tony shouted in excitement.
Everyone stepped back to give whoever was in the chamber a few moments to awaken and come out slowly. After they clambered out you realized it was a red headed woman. You hear Bucky’s breath hitch as you all get a look at her face. Suddenly the woman looks at Bucky.
“Jamie?!” She asked.
You look at your boyfriend who is in shock looking at the woman before him. His hand around your waist falls away from you as he starts to step toward her.
��Dot? Is… is that really you?” He asks in amazement.
Suddenly your own breath hitches as you realize that your boyfriend is looking at his first love. The woman you felt you had to compare to. The one you thought he would never see again. She was now in your living room staring at Bucky in disbelief.
“I thought you were dead! How are you alive?” She asks.
“It’s a long story,Doll. One I’ll have to tell you later,” he says as he smirks at her.
She reaches out and pulls him toward her in a strong hug. Your heart slowly begins to break as you feel completely helpless, and selfish at the same time. You see all your friends, Steve included, are giving looks of sympathy.
You start taking slow steps back, not wanting to draw any more attention to yourself. You stumble and stop though when you see her kiss him. Your heart is officially obliterated. No way will you stand a chance next to Dot.
Bucky had his first love back. He didn’t need you anymore. You quickly turned away and leave the room: no one calls for you, letting you go. Bucky and Dot don’t even notice.
Bucky pulls away from Dot, “I’m sorry, I can’t. There is so much we need to talk about, but I can’t…”
He trails off as he finally turns toward the room and sees that you are gone. He feels terrible and steps away from Dot.
“You should go down and see Bruce. Get checked out. I’ll meet you down there. I just have to check on something first,” Bucky says.
Dot grabs his hand, “Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone,” she begs.
Steve steps up, “I’ll go with you Dot. Bucky will meet us down there,” he says.
Bucky gives his best friend a thankful smile before nodding at Dot and turning toward your shared room. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even know what to think. All he knew is that he was at a crossroads where one or all of the participants will get hurt.
He was terrified.
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Chapter 2
Ok so as I said up top, I always wondered what would happen if Bucky’s 40s gf came back while he was dating someone else. I feel for both reader and Bucky in this situation because this is a tough situation. Looking forward to writing it! Feedback is appreciated!
Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookimtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet
#bucky angst#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes x reader#james buchanan barnes#bucky x y/n#james bucky barnes#james barnes#sebastian stan#bucky barnes angst#Bucky#bucky x dot#bucky x you
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update. its now 6 years later and i still love them but its okay because its a different kind of love. they will never see this and they will never be in my life like that again and im okay with it. im okay watching them be in love with someone else, and im okay with the idea of being in love with someone else myself one day.
first love never really fades away and i think i'll love them until the day i die (and then maybe a little longer) but ive learned that i can love without being IN love, i can love without wanting. if they asked me to speak, or worse yet be theirs again, id say no but if they asked me to sit side by side and watch the stars in silence i would drop everything. i hope we never talk again, and i also hope they never leave.
around this same time someone asked me if i believed in love at first sight, and i said no but that was a lie. ive loved them since the moment i saw them and that experience alone has kept me curious about the universe. i wouldnt believe in a higher power, something bigger than this world if i hadnt felt it that day. an invisible string that ties us together, albeit at arms length now, keeps us in each others lives to this day. i believe in the divine because ive seen it in them.
i think that when the stars and the universe were born, the carbon and atoms that make up our bodies must have been born together, must have been part of the same star. and that the pull we feel has cosmic origins, that like a magnet our chemical compositions demand to be reunited. and that one day we will die and our atoms will come together as new lifeforms, and that they will also feel the cosmic draw. i dont believe in reincarnation but i believe in the law of preservation of matter, and that they are one of my "soulmates" within the framework of those laws. or maybe i am completely deluded.
theres a lot of things i'll never get answers to, a lot of things they did that i'll never get explanations for. things they probably dont even remember doing, much less their reasoning. the way they tracked me down and pursued me when i was a complete stranger, insisted on occupying spaces in my life not even all of my friends knew about, remembered our singular two sentence conversation for months. all while they had a girlfriend. the way they chose to stay in my orbit and say the things they said when we were no longer together. the only logical explanation i can think of is that they felt (feel?) the cosmic pull as well, and that is enough of an answer for me.
i'll love again, i know i will, and i also know it won't be the same. and i think that's a good thing. because that draw, and by extension they, fucking terrify me. in a way they know me more intimately than any other person on this planet, but also not at all. and i think its possible to be so enamored by a bond that you forget to be yourself, and i think that thats exactly what happened with us. and so i am content with love that may not be cosmic, but which can be authentic. and i hope they are too.
i hope they are so unbelievably happy. i hope they look at their partner and wonder how they got so lucky. i hope they remember the times they cried about not being able to keep a partner for longer than 12 months and now look back on their past few years together and smile. i hope their mother loves their partner as much as she seems to, as much as she disliked me. i hope one day i forget her name and their birthday. i hope they see the pieces of me in them like i see the pieces of them in me, and i hope their partner never learns my name.
c and x?
wow yall decided to jump straight into interrogating me about my love life huh
c- crush?feeling are confusing
x- an ex you still liked after it was ended?honestly declan because that ended even though neither of us wanted it to but life sucks like that sometimes !!
send me a letter !!
#then again maybe im just delusional#but then again its strange how little i want them yet how drawn to then i feel#like i magnet id rather die than release#maybe in 3 more years i'll follow this up again and feel different still#but for now im okay with this being where i am
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Drunk in Love
Summary: Getting drunk and confessing your love for your “boy” friend and fucking him was most definitely not what you expected to go down on the usual night.
Pairing: Issei Matusukawa x Reader
Tags: Timeskip!Tattoed Mattsun, softdom!issei Hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, virgin!reader, Unptrotected sex, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, pussy/thigh job, clit slapping, sweet dirty talk, praise, drunk sex
Word count: 7.2k
A/N: I heard pussy job and I wrote a whole ass novel
18+ Minors DNI
You run your finger over the condensation of your empty drink, drawing shapes (or what you thought to be shapes, you couldn’t tell at this point) waiting for your dear friend, Makki to bring you a refill of your cocktail.
“Here ya go.” Makki said as he returned with your beloved Malibu Sunset. The smooth coconut rum bringing you back to your first and favorite drink that you ever got drunk on in high school. You smiling at the memory
“Thanks.” you say. Your reply being mumbled by the liquid already in your mouth.
This all started with Iwaizumi calling Mattsun up, you and Makki hearing “You wanna get wasted?” on the other side of the phone. And with pleasure, you two were already packing your stuff up, shoving yalls “pregame” bottles back in the bag. The three of you made your happy way there climbing through the fence of the abandoned skate park you were in. Needles to say it was abandoned for a reason, but what’s life without a little danger.
You three and the rest of the third years have been friends since high school, meeting in freshman year, and now including Oikawa’s girlfriend. You actually didn’t like Oikawa at first, his “pretty boy” demeanor making you internally cringe. But his personality grew quickly on you, being the perfect target to tease you and Iwa clowning him over everything.
Now back to you on your nth drink, complaining about your previous job that fired you because u got injured, even though you know you wouldn’t have lasted long there anyways because you weren’t that academically inclined. Bright? Whatever you wanted to call it.
And as-usual it wasn’t long before your crybaby ass immediately called Makki and Issei and “tried” your best to tell them what happed with your dramatic self-induced tears running down you race, while Makki urged to you to try to calm down and Issei straight up laughing at the state your were in, snot running out of your nose. You recoiling at the thought, hoping they forgot. (Spoiler, they didn’t)
But now you nanny for a rich couple and you get payed good to play with cute babies all day, sounds good to you! Luckily, you had the week off due to them going on a vacation, you think it was France, no, the south of France. Must be nice.
Cue to now, Mattsun chuckling and leaning on you and Iwaizumi; both of you, especially Iwa, being visibly done with his shit. Him reminding you about the times you bought him some random shit, which you went out of your way for since he always payed for you, like that chopper keychain because you said it reminder you of him.
He didn’t know what compelled you to say his 6’2, tattooed built self looked like a tiny reindeer but okay. It still meant a lot to him, hooking it onto his motorcycle keys. But you knew he appreciated it, despite his appearance he’s a softie.
“You wanna try this’” He says gaining his composure offering you one of the shots he got.
You took one of the mini glasses, not being the type to back down and promptly swung the drink to the back of your mouth, quickly coughing before it even reached your throat.
“This shit is fucking gross.” You coughed out bringing the glass down from your lips.
“Imagine being sober. Can’t relate.” He said taking another shot.
“I guess I should do that but ive passed the point of giving a fuck” You said sending yall into a giggling fit while somehow Makki was thrown in to support yall from falling over. You two carry on laughing ignoring everyone’s stares at you thinking about how much yall fit perfectly together.
Makki rearranges himself to sit back in his chair, far away, from the both of you, whispering “Damn. I’m really third wheeling.” under his breath. Getting a snicker out of Oikawa sitting next to him.
“When your best friends are ignoring you. Sad times.” He continues bringing his bottle to his mouth getting no response.
Issei chuckles and gets up shoving his hands in his pocket reaching for the cigarettes. Pulling them out while failing to find his lighter
“Fuck.” He muttered
“Any’all got a light?”
No one responds so you sacrifice yourself “Yeah” you say reaching into your pocket grabbing out your prized possession of a hot pink, bedazzled lighter that you did yourself, reaching out to hand it to him.
“Don’t lose it” you stated seriously trying not to break a smile.
“K’ sweet cheeks.” He said smirking into the butt between his lips as he walked away. Your face now burning up, hoping that everyone would think it was because of the alcohol.
You mind wanders, thinking about the “dates” you two go on, from watching shows you “forcing” him to watch some romantic anime, to going to the skatepark, to playing video games with the rest of the 3rd years (which you don’t really like but you’ll play for him) and him surprising you with takeout, you bringing out candles trying your best to make it cute with him telling u everything you everything about his day.
And you always tried to remain calm, even though sometimes he deserved to get his ass beat, like that one time he broke one of your favorite pair of heels. It honestly hurt him even more, he wanted you to get mad at him but no, you just acted like nothing happened. Making the guilt rise in him. Let’s just say didn’t have to lift a finger for the next few weeks.
You basically babied him, taking care of all his “chores”, mainly making him food when you were at his place knowing he hated doing it. Makki teasing you for acting like his housewife, leading to you slapping the shit outta him while trying to cover your now red cheeks.
You’ve never been so grateful for your attire at the moment, blessing yourself for not wearing your usual outfits of short skirts and cute tops, defending yourself saying what housewife dresses in beat up vans and baggy clothes. You definitely not imaging yourself in that position for the rest of the day.
You expressed that you just liked to take care of people, which was true. You always looked out for them, bringing an extra umbrella, to bringing cookies you made at 2 in the morning to school, always carrying band-aids (yes, the paw patrol ones you took from the kids you babysit).
You checked the time on your phone seeing it was late since the sun at last went down, your lock screen being your dogs to their complaint since they have a group photos of you all from high school as theirs. To which you replied “They’re my babies” getting a groan and huff out of them.
Seeing the notifications of your group chat you grinned at the contact name you and Issei gave each other; yall jokingly call each other pet names, his contact being honeybun and yours being pumpkin, even including Makki in your contacts as pudding bc then it wasn’t weird, right? no.
“What’re you smiling at y/n?” Oikawa cheekily asks teasing you. You turn to him giving him a dirty look, not having enough energy to deal him right now.
“Don’t listen to his bullshit.” Oikawa’s girlfriend says. You’re thankful for her. She was always on your side, being the only other girl in your friend group. To be honest you just wanted her and you to hang out most of the time, but of course to your disapproval her boyfriend and his friends had to join in.
“Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m sleeping.” You say getting up to her objection, the only thing on your mind wanting to retire for the night.
“You sure you’ll be fine? Let us at least walk you home.” She said already grabbing her boyfriend’s arm.
“Nah, im good. I live right down the road.” You try to say not slurring. The last thing you want is him teasing you even more, especially in this state, knowing you, you’d probably start crying at the slightest irritation when youre this drunk.
You started to “walk” towards your house resting your hand against the brick walls to not lose your balance, leading you to run into Issei. You stopped to watch him lean against the alley holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger.
“I’m hiding like a bitch” He says noticing you, resting his weight against the wall.
“Wanna be a bitch with me? He grinned blowing out the smoke out with his words.
You didn’t reply, just walking over to him, just being around him made you feel warm.
"Fuck its windy.” He says trying to light a new cig.
“C’you make me a house?” He asks.
You go up and put your hands around his cigarette, this not being your first time. Your hands wrap a little tighter to prevent the wind from burning out his flame. He joins you with his free hand helping, finally getting his cig to light.
“Thanks doll” He smirks.
“No problem princess.” You reply earning a laugh out of him.
He takes his first hit with his and your hands still wrapped around it. He gets an up-close look at your hands, noticing how tiny they were, seeing all the scars that he never noticed, making a mental note to ask you how you got them later.
His head gets close to yours for the first time in a while due to his height. You glance at his face, noticing his features seeing some stubble growing on his face.
“You ain’t shave?” You ask, never seeing it in the past, while he was moving back up, blowing the smoke away from you.
“What, you don’t like my majestic beard? “He jokes. Making you giggle almost losing your balance before catching yourself on the wall.
“s’too much work.” He starts. “You wanna shave it for me?” he says slightly leaning towards you. Handing you back your lighter knowing you didn’t need him to carry it because your pants actually had pockets in them for once.
You let out a soft laugh not responding again. He catches on, you got quiet when you were tired and he made out that you were walking towards your house.
“You going home?” he asks already knowing the answer.
“Yeah.” You respond more than happy to have him walk you back, him already moving to walk next to you.
He walks you home, you two talking about random shit, both of you forgetting about your skateboards leaving Makki to deal with them. And even though you’re drunk as fuck you’re still in the right state of mind, carrying a normal conversation with him. But just because you’ve built a tolerance doesn’t mean you can do basic tasks, like walk correctly.
When he reaches your house, he types in the keycode, your first dogs birthday, being glad that you, him and Makki have each other’s memorized.
He leads you into you house setting you on the couch, petting your dogs that ran up to him.
“Mommy’s not feeling too good” He said giving them the affection they deserved.
“Yes I am.” You slurred getting them attention on you now.
He walked over to your counter putting on the playlist that you two made together on shuffle, High fashion being the first to play. You didn’t like when it was quiet because too many thoughts would run though your head. You were in no way sad, singing the lyrics while you were laughing barely being able to hold yourself up as proof.
Remembering you were tired, he takes you off the couch and borderline carries you to your room, , setting you on your plush blankets that you had so many of because it was warm and comfy.
“Easy, there. Try to sit up.”He said, trying to ask you what draws your pj’s were in because he didn’t want to snoop around; neither of you being bothered that you were half naked, what’s the difference between panties and a bikini, he thought remembering the times you’ve been to the beach together.
Well it was maybe the fact that you were clinging onto him because u stumbled into him and he was closest stable thing around and you wouldn’t let go because it was cold and you couldn’t stop shaking.
He ignores his thoughts and grabs the shirt he got out figuring you don’t need to change your bra because you told him and Makki that it was normal to keep it on for a few days after they were in awe as you were explaining how expensive they were. You calling Oikawa’s girlfriend to prove your point as she immediately agreed with you…Sometimes you might have got a little too comfortable with them.
You hear the song in the background change to Love Songs, you humming along, “Hope you smile when you listen.”
You were still holding on to him, your boobs squeezing against him, him only being able to put a t-shirt on you, while you looked up at him with your red glossy eyes making him burn up.
You fidget timidly with your face now in his chest while gripping his sweater. Trying to build up the little courage you had. He tilts your head up making you look at him, wondering what you were thinking about.
You try to express yourself, but you can’t get the words out him having no idea what is going on in your head at the moment.
“It’s okay to be nervous sometimes. Tell me” He gently says reading your body language. He was intuitive, so there was no way you could hide your feelings from him.
But you knew you could trust him, him having full self-control, always staying collected and following through on what he said he’d do. He went out of his way to avoid any friction coming between you two, him never raising his voice or starting an argument.
“We need to talk.” You started. “About something important.”
“Ok…What is it?” He questioned rubbing his hands on your back. You were so nervous, were you really about to say this? Confess your feelings that you’ve pushed to the back of your heart for so long?
“I… I l… I love your face. And the stuff in it. and around it.” You spoke, being surprised you did it stutter.
He stood there, hands stopped moving trying to process what you just said.
“Just you, in general…” You finally confess trying to state three things at once barely getting your words out.
But he understood exactly what you meant, or maybe he was warping what you said to fit what he wanted.
"I don’t even know when I started liking you, but this shit won't go away." You restated
Nope. He clearly just heard you say that.
He doesn’t understand what’s so different about today. Yall have been in this scenario multiple times taking care of each other, sometimes including another into the mix.
You didn’t understand either. You just felt like the time was right, even though you know it wasn’t the best idea to confess while you were drunk off your ass.
But you couldn’t help it, your feelings overflowing, which you never until this day let get the best of you, being vulnerable and trusting is not your usual . Youve never even had a crush on anyone, him being to only in your whole life to make you blush.
Who you been vibin' wit and why I can't make you mine?
You should have seen the signs that you feel for him when he helped that lady that lives down the street from him set up her Christmas lights or when he first met your dog that wasn’t fond of men, but it instantly liked him. And you loved his selflessness it was something you admired and applauded.
“y/n” He tries talking you down, making sure you weren’t just saying this because of alcohol, deep down knowing he felt the same, you always being in the back of his mind.
You were generous with your time too, always being there for him. You knew he was softer than he appeared, he was tender, sensitive and vulnerable. He tried his hardest to not get into situations where anyone would get hurt, like breakups, arguments, and so on.
Which is why he won’t make the first move. He pushes his feelings to the back of his head. He values your friendship more than anything, but he can see what develops. If love is meant to be, it will happen.
I told you I am down for the worse or the better. But I keep sticking to you cause them four stupid letters
“You make me so happy. And I’ll always care about you. Okay? He says breaking the silence, trying to reassure you.
“You mean so much to me—something I can’t even put into words because nothing can compare- I’ve wanted you since that day you tripped and bust your ass in the school hallway I still want you even though you drive me insane.”
“Iss-“ You tried to get out only to have him continue talking over you.
"I love that you can’t leave the house without a jacket. I love the wrinkles that appear on your forehead after you call me crazy. I love that it takes you hours to get ready. I love that you always know how to make me feel better. I love that even when you don’t agree with my decisions you always trust me to make them. I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I think of before I go to sleep at night."
You stood there awestruck for what feels like eternity until you mustered the bravery to speak “I didn’t expect you to feel the same way-” You said, being dumbfounded because from what you’ve seen treats everyone “nice”, were you really getting special treatment?
He tilts your chin up, locking his dark eyes with yours. “Baby I don’t know if your notice but you and Makki are my only people that aren’t my family that call me my first name.”
He has a point. You think pushing yourself more into him, trying to fuse your bodies together to hide, not relaxing what you were doing to him. He tries to nudge your legs to the side but you won’t let go still clinging onto him.
“fuck” He groans. You pulling back wondering why until you looked down and noticed. A smirk appeared on your face as you reattached your self to him like velcro. You were feeling bold, the liquid courage still in your system driving you to slide your fingers down his chest, looking him in the eyes before stopping at his waistband.
He knows what you’re doing, him being in this position multiple times. Does he really want to ruin your friendship like this? He hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend. He tries to push you off him already knowing you were gonna complain. But what he didn’t expect was for you to whimper out his name in that pretty voice of yours.
He tried to keep his calm, blood already rushing down. “You know what you’re doing”
“yeah” You start.
“y’don’t want me?” Giving him your pouty face that you know he’s weak for, hoping that’ll work, insecurity piling up. Was it because your boobs weren’t that big or that fact that you were dressed like man? Was he not attracted to you right now, only liking you when you were dolled up?
“Fuck” You think. You should have worn something cute instead of dressing like a whole ass man even with your makeup fully done. Its not like you were supposed to know you were gonna get fucked today.
His were burning holes into you now, thinking of how to say “No, I would be more that happy to fuck you!” to his best friend, soon regaining his consciousness finally speaking.
“Fuck no doll, ive wanted you for a minute. You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?”
You got me singing love songs, love songs, love songs
“You’re really hard to read” You replied trying to maintain your seductive act, resting your hands back on his chest.
“So are you.” He said lowering his head, you still looking up at him, taking in your gleaming eyes.
Sex ain't the only thing that's on my mind But you get me so excited, whoa
Your heart was beating so wildly that you could only take little sips of breath. His hands running down your waist stopping at your hips.
“Can I kiss you?" He asks "...yeah” you attempted to say as confidently as you could, nodding your head along with it.
His face bent down, hot mouth breathing over you. His lips slowly moved, brushing over yours, the liquor on his lips that you hated; only choosing fruity drinks even though you got relentlessly teased you for it. You pushed further into the kiss desperately wanting more. Your teeth clicking his from being impatient, wanting to suck him in. Your hands sliding under his shirt subconscious desires reaching out.
Irreplaceable Tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankles
“You’re drunk…” he says snapping you out of your trance.
“So are you.”
He dove in for another kiss much more passionate than the previous one, arguably needy, pusing you on the bed to which you more than happily comply. He tugs back not letting his mind get the best of him, disconnecting your spit trial leaving you panting. “You sure this alright?” He says deep down hoping you still say yes.
You pull him back for your answer, your grabby little hands working their way back up his shirt. He gets the hint and pauses your lips rendezvous, taking off the turtleneck that he looked oh so good in, before seeing his unclothed body. You’re admiring his body in a new way, before just complimenting him whenever he got a new tattoo, now up under him tracing them like a lovestruck teenager.
“When did you get this one?” You quietly ask, his ears closer to you than they’ve ever been.
“I got it that day you faked sick”
“What! You said were gonna take me!” You sulked, turning your head away from his as much as you could, crossing your arms.
He let out a slight laugh before gently taking your face in his hands, guiding you back into the kiss.
This is not really what he imagined for your first time. He’s an old-fashioned romantic who likes to take one step at a time. But then again nothing was ever normal with you. That said, when he falls in love, he falls deep.
“You’ve done this before?” You uttered.
“Hmm?” He mumbles, unmoving his lips from you kissing you, moving towards your neck.
“You still with that other girl?”
“No. I broke it off her, everything that came out of her mouth was bullshit, and no she wasn’t my girlfriend.”
“You didn’t trust her? You added. Trying to distract him until you could think of a way you could say “hey in my 21 years of life I’ve never got passed kissing a guy.”
“Our relationship was purely built on lies, I’d second guess everything she said. He replied, wondering if you were interrogating him.
“Why’d you wanna know?” He asked bringing his face up from your skin.
“…No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.” You bashfully admitted, thoughts racing through your head that he didn’t want you anymore because you weren’t experienced.
But he knew what was running through that pretty head of yours, his fingers reaching out to with your hair trying to comfort you.
“You’re a virgin?” He curiously asked dragging his hand to your cheek, you leaning into it.
“y-yeah” you muttered trying to move your eyes away from his looking down at his body.
“I thought you had a boyfriend before” he said, softly turning your jaw to make you look at him. Your eyes diverted from his arms back to his eyes.
“We weren’t actually dating” You quickly say trying to clear up the misunderstanding. “He was my friend and seatmate that pretended to be my fake boyfriend to get me out of some trouble” you spewed out “and I guess I forgot to tell everyone that it was fake.”
“Even if we were that doesn’t mean we fucked.” You sheepishly replied.
“So… what trouble did your fake boyfriend get you out of.” He questioned knowing how much trouble it must have been for you, miss independent, to go to such lengths.
“Umm, well…this guy wouldn’t stop flirting with me even after I told him I don’t like him, even following me to my other classes.”
He wasn’t surprised, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes, in fact the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on, your beaming eyes, your dimple when you smiled, your pretty face, your “ugly” laugh, he could go on for days.
“Why are we talking about this” You whined, reaching your hand back out to him.
He took a hint and continued kissing you, bringing you closer to him while you attempted to take you shirt off. His hands helping you seeing as that you were struggling, being lost in his touch, finishing by moving you up more on you bed, pushing your plushies out of the way, to your protested because “they had feelings too.”
He ignored you, bending down to pull your panties off stopping once he saw the slick coming through them.
“Fuck baby you’re wet” He breathed dragging his fingers across your clothed slit earing a whimper from you, leaving his fingers drenched.
Shawty, you wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too Don't I make you feel good?
“M’always wet.” you responded.
From what? He questions taking off your soaked cotton panties, tossing them to the side.
“From me?” He smirks bringing his hand back towards your heat. You not even comprehending what he just said, just knowing that you’re ashamed of how worked up you were getting.
You were in awe. You’ve always known his hands were big, but in this situation your mind wondered. His fingers were so much bigger than yours knowing you can barely fit two inside your with out it hurting, and not in a good way.
“Do you know how pretty you are? It’s honestly distracting.”. He says kissing down your whole body, stopping at your breasts, licking lazily around and coming back to the nub. The attention on your nipples making you squirm and he finally lets go, you grateful that he stopped or you would have almost cum, how embarrassing.
“I thought you said were gonna get them pierced” He remembered, you going on a whole rant about how cute they were.
“You said u were gnna get em with me” You looked back on, reminding yourself making him promise to get them with you because you were too scared of the pain.
“That was the same day you played sick and I got that tattoo.” He stated lightening the mood, hoping you can calm yourself down before you actually embarrass yourself.
He picks back up and continues kissing all the way down your body, you playing with his hair while biting your lip to muffle your moans and whine until he reaches your entrance.
He parted your legs, your pussy laid out before him, believing you no have reason to be shy about it either. He paused, admiring your swollen cunt and puffy clit, you were beautiful.
The feeling that he didn't want anyone else ever in his position overtook him. He let out a little breath on your clit and you thrashed around. He wasn't going to play. “I’ll take care of you.”
His lips travel over your skin, light and heated before settling himself between your legs, grabbing you by your thighs and dragging you closer. “That tickles.” you giggle, nerves making you kick your legs, almost hitting him in the face before he grabs them. He puts them down locking your legs with his arms, lowering himself until he’s on the ground facing you.
“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” he teases while your covering your face trying to hide the blush he caused. He puts his mouth on you, quickly gripping your thighs, his hands leaving imprints in your skin dragging you even more into him, deprived kisses taking over your body.
“yer so pretty” You purred seeing the sight of his big build between your legs, your fingers grabbing onto his curly dark locks, tugging them.
Issei moans, his voice radiating through your body, forcing out a cry, blessing him with your pretty voice. “I-Issei!” You cry, never feeling like this before, your vibrator and hands doing it no justice.
“Shh, just look at me, doll.”
You can barely make out what he says, so drunk on pleasure. You try your best, doing anything to see the pretty man beneath you. But you get interrupted by your pleasure, your back arching not being able to control your body, grinding down to meet his lips, heat rising in you.
He kisses through your wetness playing with your bud. You choking on your spit, back arching again your body tensing up. “Issei,” You beg, grabbing him knowing what you want but not being able to express it. Luckily he can read you like an open book, knowing what you want, driving you over the edge as he makes you see stars. “Good girl,” he sighs when he feels you let go of his wrist letting him bring you your first orgasm.
“Look at your thighs shaking so much.” He teasingly cooed, wrapping his hands around them, bringing you out of your daze.
Shawty, your body is so exciting
Arching your back into the blankets, letting out a whine “Want your fingers.”.
He lets out a condescending laugh. “You need to learn to be patient. You just came and you’re already so eager for more?”
But by the time he finished your body went limp, you were totally weak, body loose-limbed and pliant. Your mind clouded by lust and deep in your own world. You gasped out a little sob, unable to comprehend anything beyond the discomfort and the need to have it gone. You can’t think straight all you can do is take action, grabbing his arm him easing his fingers into to you.
It’s not too tight, is it?” you ask clenching around his fingers.
“Just relax… let yourself feel it” He says barely being able to move in you. Fuck so were so tight.
“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” He added starting to thrust them inside you, making you let out a string of moans.
“Look how good you take it.”
“Fuck, you’re so messy.” He groaned feeling the slick running down his hands, before taking them out.
“Issei-i,” You cried when he pulled away, pleasure leaving you, tears coming back.
He shushes you easily, his fingers wiping your tears. You were so precious to him, your moans music to his ears. He slows down repositioning his fingers, making you let out a whimper squeezing around them. Your brains so crowded you can’t focus, can’t gather the strength to speak when he thrust them faster inside you.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell back, fingers curling inside you, chanting his name over and over, incoherent words coming out of your mouth begging for more.
You pussy tightens as you cum, unable to breath, letting out gasps and whines. Him still fucking you, fingers not stopping, pushing them in and out relentlessly feeling both pain and pleasure. You lay there, wet in your own cum not giving yourself a break before you went and got what you really wanted, his cock.
His eyes followed the movement of your hands as they pushed down his boxers, revealing the length of his cock, that jutted proudly from his hips. He was so pretty, so virile and handsome. Wondering how lucky you were to be in such a position with him.
You pushed away those thoughts and focused on him, pulling him forward gently, but he followed his encouragement. One of his hands tilted his cock down toward your lips. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”
You parted them instantly, tongue sliding slightly outward, and then you whimpered as the warm weight of his cock slid into your mouth. You let your eyes flutter closed and swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock not knowing exactly what you were doing, but it was working, tasting the salty tang of the precum that wept from his leaking slit. You moved your tongue as the he put his hand into your hair, gripping the strands and pushing deeper into his mouth.
“You look so good on your knees like that. “He says meeting your eyes once again, almost cumming from the picture below him.
“Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He says slowing you down by grabbing your hair, making a pace that you follow.
“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” Seeing that sinful look in your eyes with your redden swollen lips.
You moan feeling yourself drip down your thighs, getting even wetter giving him head. Trying to ease the discomfort by closing your legs, griding them together, trying to find some friction. Your ears hearing “That’s so fucking hot.” watching the scene unfold beneath him.
Your jaw hurts, trying got make him cum faster using your hands and lips together hollowing your cheeks. “Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" he groans out, his voice sounded beautiful to your ears, knowing he was about to cum.
He finally lets go cumming in your mouth, you swallowing it all, trying not to wince at the taste. “Did I do good” You ask waiting for his reply. Your doll eyes, so red and worn out looking up at him for approval. Fuck he was whipped.
“Yeah…fuck baby”
I love when you get on top and you ride it
You get back under him, his cock resting on you, drenched and clenching around nothing, resting in your cum. You working yourself up against him.
“What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?” He says to your complaint.
“You’re not ready yet.” he mumbles against your whining. Spreading your legs, slapping your clit a few times before letting his cock rest on your folds. Finally getting “seated” he picks up your legs and puts them both on one of his shoulders your thighs warming his cock, your knees touching his cheek not moving, getting a kick out of how desperate your were for him.
“s-stop being mean” You cried reaching out for him to come closer, needing affection after all you’ve been though.
“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you? He says leaning into you, reaching your kiss, tasting the remnants of the cum in your mouth.
He plundered your mouth and slowly teased his cock over your entrance, catching it against your clit and making you whimper into the kiss, clearly wanting to be fucked. Your kiss turned you sucking on Issei’s tongue and lips, biting the swollen pout until his lips were red and puffy. He pulled back and looked down at you, a beautiful mess under him.
His fat cock head pushed between your folds. The moan escaping both of your lips was primal. You were turned on beyond imagination and the way he was thrusting forward, spreading his leaking precum on your wet clit was almost too much. He quickly picked up his pace fucking your folds, his warm head brushing against your clit with every movement, but your greedy self wanted more.
The fact that he made you cum so easily made you proud. Just because you’ve never gone this far with someone else doesn’t mean you’ve never cum, you’ve had a lot of practice over the years, being insatiable, the sheets soaked underneath you from your previous orgasms being proof.
“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” He moans getting your attention him.
You tried, you really tried, but the way he was stroking you, imagining what it’d be like to actually sit on his cock, the lewd sounds echoing in the background leaving you unable to focus.
He taps on your cheek eventually getting you look at him, keeping your mind on him by placing his fingers in your mouth you letting him, hazily sucking on them, not being able to close your mouth.
“Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.” He grumbles. Your spit dripping onto his fingers, the friction of your thighs making him feral, moving at an even faster pace. Your body bouncing with every thrust.
“You gonna cum after I cum on your little clit? Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.” You sob feeling the puddle beneath you, time slowing, fire pooling in your tummy. Listening to his words you let yourself go. You come with a silent scream as the pleasure ripped through your body, your nails scratching his soft skin. Your vison fading to black feeling him lose his rhythm and moaning a mixture of curse words along with your name, feeling him cum on your tummy before resting his head in your neck while letting your legs go.
“So good for me, look at how much you came.” He says breaking the static. You whining into his shoulder, emotions high, never doing this before.
“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” He says. You two laying in silence for an unclear amount of time, him rubbing your back while you rest in his chest almost dozing off.
“Are we still…friends?” You croak out trying to hold back your sobs already knowing the answer that you two were defiantly not friends now and never would be just friends again.
“Friends don’t do this type of shit” He maintained grabbing your shoulders to sit you and him up. You were worried, did he only do this with you because he was drunk? You were anxious that you scared him away because you just poured your heart out to him and pushed yourself on him. You left your head down, tears already coming out to your dismay. You moved your hand up to wipe them but he beat you to it.
“Look at me… I love you.” He says holding your cheeks in his palm. You in awe, hoping that you weren’t imagining it, that this was real life.
“R-really” You question making him worry too, preferring to forgive and forget rather than letting this a divide between the two of you in case you went back on your feelings. You were so overwhelmed, never feeling love until this moment, so happy that the person you longed for liked you back. Yours tears running once again.
“Shh, shh, it’s alright...Don’t cry.”
You don’t even know why you were crying, the hangover already getting to you making you get a headache. You groaning in his arms complaining that your head and throat hurt.
“Ill be back” he says detaching himself from you, letting you know he was coming right back.
He walks to your fridge opening it to see every drink but water, having too dig through all of them, especially the absurd amount of apple juice guessing it was your “once a year craving for it”. He finally got you some cold water, putting It in a cup and waked back to your room.
“Issei” you whined not picking your head up from the pillow.
“Shh baby im right here.”
He sat down beside you on your bed lifting your head up. “Here drink this” he reassured, to which you ignored not wanting anything to go in your mouth, just wanting the day, or night as it was now, to end.
“It’s just water, honey, look.” You sat yourself up with his help seeing him in just his boxers, you remembering your still naked, not caring enough to cover yourself. He held to glass to your mouth, babying you, tilting it far back enough to where you could drink it. The water hit the back of your mouth feeling like a shot making you cough.
“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry but we have to” He stated. You continued to drink it, feeling the stinging in the back of your throat, him comforting you, calling you “good girl” which was unsurprisingly working.
He put the cup on your dresser when you finished, climbing back into bed with you leaning your body into his. “Have you ever thought about...us? Y’know, as an...item?” he said causing you to look at him with wide eyes.
“Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” He insisted making you cheeks flush. You try to think of a way to respond, not wanting to keep him waiting.
“You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. Not only am I deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.” You stammer out, your shaky hands somehow made there way to his neck, letting them fall slowly before he grabs them dragging you in for a kiss before you got to even see his face.
“Everybody has always thought we’re a couple.” He continued taking his time kissing you all over your face. “Then I guess we should be.” You retort, kissing him back before you could see his reaction, not wanted to be embarrassed anymore today. But he caught you, holding you still “Really “y/n? Like deadass?” He asked.
“Yes dummy, I want to be your girlfriend” You say causing him to grin swearing you’ve never seen him smile that big, before he gives you one last kiss.
“I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now? He teases laying back down, you following along. You just snuggle into him mumbling something along the lines of “m’tired”, he understanding and speaking to you in a soft, gentle voice while helping you to bed, so he doesn’t make it harder for you to sleep by being loud. “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into your ear mkanig your heart swoon one last time before you pass out.
“I l-love you issei.” You sleepily mumble.
“Tell me this when you’re sober.” He says stroking your head.
“Just relax, close your eyes...”He murmurs, your heart beating slower every second. Both of you together, lazy, slow presses. Limbs pressed together, chests heaving, fingers trailing down backs, tracing lazy patterns.
“Oh!…” He remembers. “If you really wanna get them pierced, we could get matching ones.”
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#haikyuu x reader#issei x reader#matsukawa x reader#mattsun x reader#matsuwaka issei#haikyuu smut#haikyuu hcs#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu headcanons#matsukawa issei x reader#tw drunk sex#tw under the influence
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