#i dont feel ignored if we are in the same online space and are just vibing together this isnt about anyone HERE

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

hi, sorry if this isnt a good blog to send this to i just dont know where to turn atm (if this isnt a good blog to ask for help plz lmk where would be better, soz). im 22 and figuring out im sapphic & im trying to join online lesbian spaces but everyone seems so anti-babydyke and im starting to notice that being a lesbian is more about discourse and infighting than it is about wanting to kiss a lady. i thought it was about kissin ladies and thats what i want but how do i make other lesbians not hate me? i feel like all of the other lesbians expect me to have a PhD in lesbianism before i call myself that, before i consider a femme attractive, its like i have to pass thru all these hoops to prove myself even to other queers that im a real lesbian because i can name every lesbian historical figure. again super sorry if this is a bad blog to send this to i do not have a clue who to ask about this or anything im totally lost rn lol (genuinely sorry for literally being that annoying baby dyke ppl complain about rn. ignore me if you want im not gonna be tilted. thx for listening

This isn’t a bad blog to send this too. I’m just genuinely sorry you are going through this and I’m sorry if I don’t have a way to help. But I’ll try my best!! And maybe some more people in the comments will be able to help in ways I can’t.

But just know I’m sending you lots of love and that there isn’t anything wrong with you. At the end of the day, regardless of whatever else is happening, your sexuality really is just simply who you are attracted to. And that’s okay. You are enough ♥️♥️

(I’m also going into this assuming you are at least 18+, so I apologise if I’m wrong on that )

Firstly , you aren’t just seeing things. There is definitely a lot of infighting in the community. Like a lot. I would say it’s typically more intense and in your face online then it is IRL, but I’ve also seen IRL gay groups go really deep off the end with with this stuff.

From what I have read and from people I have talked to, this has sadly sort of always been a thing. We just have different waves of it and different things it might be focused on based on the time period and the world events affecting that at the time. I think in general it’s a very human thing that allllll groups do, but when you are in a marginalised, oppressed and small group of people it can feel a whole lot more concentrated and obvious because there is less room for it to go.

Again, this is just based on conversations I’ve had and things I’ve read, so take it with a grain of salt. But there has also been misunderstandings, disagreements and different beliefs on what things are , what they mean and who should do what in the community. Ranging from politics to fashion to marriage to sex to identities around butch/femme and what it means. For one piece saying something you have another saying something different.

This can cause a lot of confusion and infighting amongst people. A lot of tension at times. And because of trauma a lot of people tend to want to be around people with similar alignments in understanding and belief.

A lot of things can affect that like age , location etc.

But none of that is a reflection of you or your worth or your sexuality. And there ARE people in the same boat as you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

There have been waves in the past of some women using and or claiming lesbianism to be a response to sexism. We are currently living in the time after that. And because of that a lot of opinions and thoughts and actions taken place are in a response to that wave. Be it people trying to push it , denounce it , confused by it or hurt by it.

I think this has lead to some of the scaffolding of the current culture we have today.

I understand that need and drive for community and the horrible feeling that can come along when the said community feels like it is in shambles. I feel that way a lot too. And I’m sorry I can’t take that away.

I feel like I’m rambling at this point I’m sorry.

I just want to say though there is nothing you have to prove to anyone. We all figure this stuff out at our own pace. Anyone who treats you poorly for not knowing something or just genuinely not showing interest in it is on them. Your lesbianism doesn’t mean you owe anyone an opinion or a certain way of dressing or feeling. The only person you owe is yourself and that is to show kindness to yourself and be around people who respect you and love you for the wonderful lesbian that you are.

EDIT : I just re-read and you said you are 22 I’m so sorry I missed that 😩

[minipisi-is-dumb]

hai, sorry to bother, but what exactly is giftedness? i dont think i trust google on it and id rather hear about it from someone who's gifted. is it like being a genius or something?

hiii thanks for asking about it!!! and sure lemme tell ya

it's a bit lengthy sorry

ill briefly explain the symptoms and then other extra stuff, thanks so much for asking, not a lot of people know about it :)

giftedness is a form of neurodivergent condition/neurodivergency or however you call it, that is characterized by asynchronous development between intelectual and "chronological" growth

an easy way to explain it (even if the theory is disproven so it's just as example) is how people see mental ages

you might be chronologically 15, but intellectually, your needs are those of a 19 y/o and emotionally your regulation is that of a 13 y/o. that's what asynchrony means essentially

the current "official" way to diagnose people is through iq tests, they're not always specific and is usually in a margin of error, but if it's a legit test and not one of those online, is used to measure the amount of connections your brain has. of course the results may vary if you have more than one neurodivergency or you have a mental illness. it's always important to discuss it with your doctor!

the more connections u have per braincell → the faster processing you got. the amount of connections is measured by iq number

the criteria for being diagnosed is simply getting 130 or more in the iq test, there's different types of depth to giftedness as a condition, just like there're different symptoms and levels of depth for autism, but that's the beauty of it isn't it

and contrary to what you might think, fast processing can be very difficult, it feels like your brain goes faster than you all the time you are asked a question, say, in a test, and you just know the answer! that's it, you can't explain it even to yourself. your brain "skips" steps to get to a conclusion since we don't have a linear way of thinking, or you make connections at the moment that somehow end up making sense all the time and you don't even realize it. it's overwhelming

other important symptoms are similar to other nds like autism or adhd like being able to hyperfocus, stimming or sensory sensitivity, but there are some different ones like latent inhibition deficit

latent inhibition deficit (you can google it for better understanding) it's basically not being able to prioritize the information you recieve

have you ever found yourself in a restaurant or a crowded space, and even if there's a lot of talking and music, eventually you "forget about it" and stop paying attention to it since it's not important? That's latent inhibition!!! your brain can filter information, wether is sensory or cognitive and ignore whatever it doesn't see as important

my brain can't, I am always listening to the music, the people talking in the room, small changes in smell, sound or how too many colors confuse me and give me migraine, my brain cannot "filter" importance in it, so it pays attention to everything and sees it all as important since it perceives it as one whole thing

connecting most of the stuff around you or "seeing the big picture" always is very normal, feeling like everything is happening at the same time simultaneously and you can't just pick and choose is the best way I can describe it

we also have overexcitabilities!!! that is a bit long to explain but you can google it

here's a very useful explanation that also mentions giftedness, since the term was created from studying our behavior

here's my favorite talk about the topic, I watched it years after being diagnosed and it explains it very well, the woman giving the talk is gifted herself and works in gifted education programs too!

she also has a talk about overexcitabilities!!

I really like this image because it is a quick way to see some basic symptoms, is not the be all of it but you can get a general idea compared to autism and adhd, since there's more info about them around

Alright we done w that

the BIGGEST misconception about giftedness is that it is just good grades, it's a complex condition just like any other! adhd is not "just getting distracted", autism is not "just being socially awkward" and giftedness is not "just being a genius"

I cannot stress enough how grades have nothing to do with giftedness , in fact, most gifted people end up dropping school or college since it never fits fully fits our educational needs

giftedness and academic achievement are not inherent to one another, you can be neurotypical and have good and bad grades too, it doesn't matter really . it could be a clue for some, where good grades might lead a parent to take the test, but the results are not there just because of grades or high achievement rate

now we need to talk kinda quickly abt ableism and how the concept of iq was originally created to stigmatize non-white races, women and neurodivergent conditions

the first people to coin the term for iq were (shocker) rich white men who liked the idea of being smarter than everyone else

however, the arbitrary measurement used to discriminate towards people on the bases of iq started to change it's perspective

we know NOW that there's a lot more than "just genius" and is a complex condition people like me live without, but the subconscious idea of high iq being something that makes you ""superior "" is still around due to it's origins and lack of common knowledge. the stigma about telling other people you're gifted is huge, people change the way they percieve you, they change the way they treat you, or at best you seem like an egocentric superb who thinks they're better than everyone

it's sorta how being a narcissist is used as an insult or to demonize the actual condition instead of people actually understanding what it is to have npd? kinda that. if you call yourself gifted you're basically doomed to be the egocentric one

and languages outside of english don't make it better.

for Spanish (my native language) even though we have one of the best resources imo for giftedness (the book "¿Demasiado Inteligente para ser feliz?") we also have the term "superdotado" that translated roughly means "super gifted". not doing much for the "we're literally people and not inhumane geniuses" part

but UGHHHH I kinda think that's most of my base info for u, I am SO happy you're interested, I have a little giftedness tag you can look at, and there's also gifted-centered blogs around this site

thanks for reading!!!

[trickstarbrave]

"this is to say nothing of the grown adults on social media who make discoursing on the "opposite side" their full time hobby when really they are only making the situation worse in an effort to feel morally superior" Lol these are the people who are defending the ability to enjoy things in fiction without being policed. I can't believe you can have such an insight into the problem and then completely miss the point by acting insufferable to the people advocating for just letting people enjoy what they like. You're no better than the people who send death threats honestly since you want to ally with the people who want to police every online space and censor people. They'll come for you next, and none of us will be there to defend you from the antis when they decide your fiction is morally reprehensible

i debated not answering this because you are being rude and annoying and i dont like this kind of pointless arguing, but let me make this clear:

you are not helping address the problem. acting morally superior and righteous in the same brand of obnoxious is just about as much of "activism" as the "pro-shippers" who do it too. all you are doing is picking fights to get high off the rush of anger and dopamine. you are not "advocating" for anything. you are not addressing any of the problems. you are not fundamentally changing anyone's minds.

you are working on a bland, black and white mentality that ignores the complex reasons behind stuff. just by me saying that you have jumped to "so obviously you like sending people death threats and support it and are no better than the people do that" just like how the people who don't like your weird incest ships think you must obviously be an irl abuser.

"anti" means nothing. neither really does "pro-shipper". this us vs them mentality has to die before we see any progress. we cannot just keep using the internet for outrage. instead of arguing with people online and making stupid arguments about how actually your fiction IS moral and is actually better than other people's stuff and that everyone who doesn't think exactly like you do must love sending people death threats, you could try doing something actually fucking productive. push back against censorship online. disrupt algorithms. educate people that engaging with content they don't like on algorithm websites means they will see more of it. create a forum to freely share stuff with less harassment and vitrol. stay educated on what bills have lead to this censorship and push back against them or protest about new ones that keep being introduced.

all i can see from asks and posts like this is: you dont want things to change. you don't really care about the reasons behind it. you are right and other people are wrong because you don't like them. you like arguing online because you get a rush from it. you are doing this because you like fucking "winning". you dont care if you don't change a single person's mind because you enjoy the moral superiority you imagine you have. which are all the reasons the equally obnoxious people you hate and insist you are nothing like keep arguing with you. it is an endless cycle because you all enjoy the cheap thrill of arguing and bitching online that feeds into our worst impulses as human beings. i know im not one to fucking talk because i've also been known to jump into internet arguments, but i can at least recognize the problem and try to address it.

so long as you continue to act like this and act like your behavior is self righteous activism, this kind of shit will create a feedback loop. literally deactivate your fucking discourse blog, stop getting into pointless arguments online, and do literally anything else to address the problem. stop thinking that when i am addressing harmful mentalities online that feed into negativity and bullshit that you are immune to it because you're smarter or better than the people you disagree with. you're not. you're obnoxious.

if you send another anon i will be blocking you. knock it off. grow up.

[adoroborosgoth]

I feel like I need to get this off my chest before I internalize it and it gives me stress. It will be better for my piece of mind if I just say it.

I think the good omens fandom need to be aware of some of the language they use is insanely hurtful and very harmful. I tend to ignore it most of the time because I don't feel like getting into it with people online. Sometimes it feels pointless but then other times I can't ignore it.

When you (gen) say things like the fandom is too obsessed with sex or the like, and things that are similar or worded differently. I don't think some people realize how harmful that is because of this reason ->

So the alt right and many conservatives or anyone who hate the LGBTQ+ community use the same exact language about us just for being us. They think we are sexual deviants, perverts and child molesters and groomers. Just for using a certain label with out ever getting to know us or trying to understand us at all.

When you hear others who are in your community using the same rhetoric it's a bit baffling. For a fandom that is supposed to be all inclusive, why are we doing the same thing as the people who want to see us wiped off the face of the fucking planet?

There are little to no spaces left for adults to be adult and if that is talking about sex sharing fanart or fic then where else do we have left to do so if not for tumblr?

I understand if you don't want to see it or look at it or read it as is your right. But we should not be shaming others for wanting to do so. And I see it all too often in the good omens fandom. I shouldn't feel guilty for liking and reblogging fanart that is nsfw.

Many of us use art and writing as a way to express ourselves and a lot do not have a way to do that safely aside from online spaces such as tumblr. And it often feels like half the fandom wishes we didn't.

In real life we hear dont do this, dont do that, dont dress this way, don't wear make up, be more girlie, be more manly. Every single fucking day in and day out.

We get online and write a little bit or draw to escape all of /that/ and then hear it from the same exact people who we are trying to get to know and befriend in our own fandoms and it all feels so impossible.

[autisticlee]

kind of afraid to post this because I predict someone will misunderstand and be upset at me. but this blog is means as a personal journal and i don't post here for other people or attention—

something I see in the autism community (especially on tumblr) is when a less-disabled/lower support needs autistic is proud of their autism or likes it or whatever, the more disabled/higher support needs people think that person is invalidating them/their experiences and speaking over them (I'm not talking about posts that generalize all autistic people/autism as a whole and try to speak for everyone and say it cant disabled you because *they* dont struggle themselves. i only mean posts where people are talking about only their own personal experiences) but i've seen many posts and replies that tell people not to celebrate/be happy about/romanticize/like their own autism. just because they are privileged to not be disabled by it, and not everyone is as lucky, therefore it invalidates those struggling.

I get that it can make you feel left out and invalidated, but not everyone being happy about an aspect of something is forgetting you, talking over you, trying to invalidate you, etc. they can celebrate something without needing to add a reminder that other people are struggling. their experiences are allowed to be good and they are allowed to be happy about it! you can celebrate the good without it meaning the bad is being overlooked too. people can be happy about the positive traits of a thing without it meaning they dont care about the negative ones or the people affected by them.

maybe it sounds mean to "leave you out" but there's far more posts about the struggles of autism than good ones, at least from what i've seen, but tumblr algorithm so maybe thats incorrect. if you look up autism online though, you get flooded by negative things more than positive. lower support needs people also often get told they can't be autistic/don't need help/dont deserve accommodation because they aren't autistic enough. (even I get told this all the time and I feel i'm probably more in the medium support needs?) there's not much good for the people who need the good, so they make it for themsleves.

i'm sorry if it affects you to see people can enjoy an aspect of their lives that causes you great suffering :( I know how to feels to be struggling while people in the same place aren't and are having and sharing positive expiences because of the thing that causes you to suffer. i've been there and also felt left out and like they were ignoring me and my struggles. but!!!!! I learned that that's not always true! it doesn't have to be all bad for everyone! and they aren't trying to ignore my negative experience on purpose! we need to let people who need the positive have their own space just like the ones struggling. I struggle a lot with being autistic and sometimes wish I wasn't. but i'm still happy for the people that get positive things out of it instead and can thrive in life, while i'm barely surviving myself. these two things can coexist

maybe the low support needs people feel left out too and want to make their own posts among the sea of "autism is a horrible tragic disorder/disability and we wish we didn't have it and didn't struggle and suffer/autistic people can never have normal lifes/etc" and that's ok! everyone is valid, struggling or not. no one is talking over anyone else just by having a different experience and view! especially when they aren't making a side note to mention the other perspectives they don't experience themselves. it's not their job to always add a disclaimer about those other experiences. especially if they don't understand it because they never experiences it themselves and can't make an accurate post about it. you can make your own posts if you need to, or ask them to help you share it by sharing your experiences.

just like I make my own posts about how much I struggle in life because i'm autistic. often a post comes from reading a post where someone talked about how autism positively affects something for them, and I make my own post to talk about how that same trait affects me negatively. I don't comment on their post and say they are invalidating my experience. I don't let it make me feel bad or take it personally. I don't feel invalidated or attacked by low support needs who have amazing lives because they have friends and a job and other stuff and aren't struggling as much as me. I don't feel like they are talking over me when they say autism makes them smart enough to get a good job or empathetic enough to have lots of friends. i'm happy for them. they deserve support too.

basically, in simpler terms, someone saying they like pineapple on pizza and making a post about how amazing it is isn't invalidating people who hate pineapple on pizza, hate pineapple in general, hate pizza, or are allergic to pineapple or pizza. you can make your own posts saying you hate it, but don't say people who post about liking it are wrong and not allowed to like it!

again, i'm not talking about the posts where people say "*all* autistic people should like their autism because it's not a disability" or something like that. if that's what people are referring to when they make posts saying to not celebrate autism because it leaves higher support needs out and talks over their struggles, then I apologize. maybe i read those wrong or they aren't worded very well, just like i'm sure this post of mine isn't worded well and will cause people to misunderstand my meaning. but they're always worded to sound like no one should make positive autism posts because it makes people feel bad who don't have the same positive experiences. IF That is indeed the case, then that's just as unfair as the people that tell high support needs to stop complaining and enjoy their autism/disability instead!

this actually goes for many things in general, not just autism. replace autism with other things and it works as well. it's a lesson we need to learn together!

[rebelelegance]

Rant

i feel like im a jack of all spades and the queen of none.

im sposed to practice music, study and get nearly 100% on each test, lose weight, eat right, sleep right, be social, be different, not like what my parents dont like, shouldnt be into normal teenage things, take care of my youger bro and my family because im "almost 18 and an adult of this family and cant be selfish", i cant go out with friends, i cant be my fucking self. At school? I'm the therapy friend, I have to handle this girl who acts like she's fucking 5 and she wont leave me alone and she's draining my mental energy with how she behaves, as if im her baby sitter. no one really cares, there's always one person that everyone would choose over me. i really don't see the point in living anymore. i barely see my bestfriend because she goes to a different school and we're both so busy we can never have a proper convo. all the guys ive ever liked dont like me because im "not pretty enough" or 'cool enough' but no one ever wants to really get to know me cuz just by looking at my face and my glasses and the way i look like a traditional indian girl they ignore me. but i cant NOT be like that cuz then i get shit for it at home. I really really dont want to be here anymore

all the people who promised to never hurt me, hurt me in the worst way possible just so that they didnt have to feel so terrible abt themselves and IT SUCKS because they expect me to take it just cuz im fucking nice

tumblr is my safe space. people here are so nice. but its.....online. its just not the same.

I don't know what to do anymore. I need serious professional help.

I hate myself so much it hurts. And i dont know what to fucking do. I HATE IT.

[dinoburger]

idk, I dont have this talking to people on social media thing figured out either and I've been here a while. I think that can make it worse, I can see that it encourages me to try to read into what people say and how they interact with me regardless of if we even know each other, there's no distinction between casual conversation in a friendly way and polite conversation out of obligation - I don't think it's fair to openly talk to one person while ignoring another on the same platform but then i just always feel worn out. I hate feeling like every bit of social interaction has some kind of numeric value and not knowing if I've adequately upheld my half of the exchange because there's no other cues. Everything fuels my desire to fidget for the sake of fidgeting. I feel just as bad when people act like nothing online has any value as when they act like social media is the future and it's everything when it has such an intentionally parasitic over consuming quality that's just getting worse and worse because tech ceos can make a killing off it and everything is degrading and poisonous and insidiously twisting us into twitchy, unstable fodder for the money machine, but there is also no place in reality where I could be this involved in my interests or have space to talk about my ideas where they'd be understood or be able to talk about personal problems with people who might actually understand when no one else has and there's no one else to talk to, when it's too much to put on one person. There's only so long you can introspect before it just becomes one long continuous negtaive feedback loop mental spiral. I feel like all of us suffer from that, I do, badly, very badly, i cant blame anyone else for that

[kittyphoenix12-xx]

Hi!

About that why did you get billy hate poll... Personally i dont post about billy or harringrove so i never had any hate targeted at me, and i cant vote in zhe poll because of it. BUT i had to block so many accounts and tags because i couldnt go into the billy hargrove tag without encountering these mile long posts about how awful we all are. I know you know these posts too well, so i wont detail how according to the antis we are all racist assholes. The worst part is that when i first joined the fandom i saw so many of these that i almost believed them. You know, when a bunch of people are all saying the same bs but you start to doubt yourself, it really sucked. It effected me enough thst i had a hard time "confessing" to my real-life (aka not online) friends who are casual fans of the show that he was my favourite character. And the funny part is most of them couldnt even care less, cause being such a passionate anti for a fictional character and writing 10k essays on how awful that FICTIONAL CHARATER is and therefore his fans and the actor too IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOUR! It is as chronicly online as it gets. There was only one friend of mine who was suprised and since she is a very opinionated person started to explain to me how SHE COULD NEVER LOVE HIM and she is suprised that i care about him. I tried to explain to her that i know that he behaves like an asshole but its due to his background and i believe would he have gotten the same treatment as steve he could have been redeemed, i was hit with the classic tonedeath answer:

Well my home life wasnt sunshine and puppies either but i dont go around beating up kids

At that point i just gave up in arguing honestly and then i felt like an idiot for not putting up more of a fight, cause this made it feel like her argument i agreed with. God.

I love billy so much, but all this negativity that comes with being in the fandom just drains me.

my dear anon, you are absolutely correct and i hope you have a lovely day.

i confess that when i first watched stranger things, i didn't like billy that much. and i handled that by not engaging with media about him, you know, like a normal person. this was just after s2 came out so i wasn't active on tumblr, i wasn't writing fanfiction, i wasn't in the fandom (and I'm glad let me tell you). but i was also thirteen and related to max more than billy, but the older i got, the more mature and aware i became of just the world in general.

in my humble opinion, the vocal billy antis are ignorant. they don't want to a conversation, they don't want to discuss nuance or entertain the idea of people unlearning things.

we've reached a place in this world where racism and homophobia and ableism are so prevalent that people forget that these things are taught and can therefore be unleant. because a lot of the real life people don't want to unlearn, or can't.

and that idea as spread into fandom spaces. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but the fact that people's response to children/teenagers saying racist/homophobic things is to immediately call for their death is a bad thing actually. and yes, it's spread to characters as well.

it's all performative. i made that poll just to see how performative antis are and, yeah, the results aren't great.

another thing i've noticed about people in general is that they tend to hate characters that exhibit their *embarassing* flaws. media that has racist/homophobic characters in the bad positions aren't really loved by people who hold those views.

^^^^ i think this summarises what i'm trying to say. no one wants to be the bad guy, so when they see something that forces them to confront that part of them, they push it away, deny it.

billy/harringrove stans have been harrassed, told to kill ourselves, called slurs and yet the people who say those things think they're right because they can't fathom being wrong.

so, anon, what i've learnt from my six months in this fandom, is to embrace it. yea billy was going to hit the kids with his car, i actively encourage that now. yea billy was going to kill everyone, he should've killed them all.

but no matter what, we love and support each other. so feel free to ramble in my ask box whenever, start posting on your blog about billy, do whatever you want.

they don't matter to us. they can't matter to us. fandom should be safe and it should be fun and those people are making themselves miserable. and that isn't our fault and it isn't our problem.

[caseythebunnyboy]

sorry this is so out of the blue but it’s so so nice seeing other SEA trans people!!! i feel like i never come across people like me online (esp. in nsfw spaces) so this blog genuinely came as a really pleasant surprise <3 also ur outfit in that bunny post is SO cute

okay this probably wont make sense to people who arent poc but this actually means so much to me. i have a really big history on having internalized racism and feeling like im "lesser than" white people. to be honest, it still effects me to this day in small ways, but thats another topic for another day- there are so many layers that influence how i see my race that connects with my sexuality and gender identity that you cant really explain to others, they just have to experience it themself.

(im gonna put the rest under the cut because this is probably gonna be long and i dont wanna clog your dashboard/screen)

another thing is that ive felt like i was a "lesser" asian as well. im not chinese, japanese, or korean so my entire identity of being asian is constantly being questioned and pushed aside because im not one of the pretty, well known asians. it made me feel inferior for so long and took me years to get over, and honestly im not sure if im over it yet, but its definitely died down more.

this ask means so much to me because it makes me feel like just by existing as a south east asian, (a group of people that are often ignored and doubted as to whether or not theyre the race they are) and being proud of it, im helping my people not be ashamed of it too. because the sad reality is that almost every single one of my fellow south east asian friends have wished they were white when they were younger.

i wouldve done anything to get younger me to be proud of his color, rather than trying to whiten it whenever he drew himself, rather than wishing he were american, and rather than despising his own country and people for 12 years. he was blinded by inferiority to the point were it became a mindset that we were lesser. that white people are cooler and more advanced, that my countrys history was boring, and that my culture could never compare.

when i was 13 i finally got out of that mindset, but little bits and pieces linger around that i try my best to ignore. now iam an adult man that is proud of my countrys culture, music, fool and people. it makes me happy that i made someone go "oh i found someone else like me!" because yes! we are like each other! and im so glad you feel proud of that, since i am too!!! surprisingly, we arent that uncommon, i have a whole friend group of south east asians that are also trans, you just have to look closely to find us hehe

theres a whole other topic about how me being poc (that isnt all that common or well known) affects my experience being queer but honestly thats a suuuuper long topic i could talk about for hours, so i wont get in to that here. anon, if youre still reading this because i know this is long as hell, please feel free to dm me so we can talk!! i wanna get to know a fellow trans south east asian, and who knows, we might even be from the same country!

last thing, im happy you guys like my outfit in the bunny posts, will post more pictures of me in it i swear! 💜 thats all i can fit in to one post, again, thank you so much anon. i hope you have a great day 😊

[mistydeyes]

hii! i found you through the military personnel files post and saw the COD pairing thing on ur page so if its still open, i wanna request one, thanks! (feel free to ignore tho)

- she/her, INTP

im 5'8 with a warm, pale skintone, dark hair, short wolfcut (shoulder length) and a curvy ish body type, i play volleyball but am pretty lazy otherwise. usually im wearing streetwear (avg tomboy look LMAO) but i also sometimes switch it up for a more classy "businesswoman- esque" look or more feminine dressy stuff for occasions.

i draw, both digital and traditional, enjoy baking, looking up space facts, mythology stuff and videogames. i like making cutesy handmade gifts and trying out new things.

very socially awkward and shy but when i open up im chill overall but am that friend who does the most unhinged things (and i dont stfu) (childhood trauma gang). hope it wasnt tmi😭

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick (a/n aww thanks for requesting! just wanted to say Kyle was 100% the biggest dork in the early 2000's and no one else can tell me otherwise)

How you met: Civilian At first, you and Kyle were online mutuals with a shared interest in games. He had seen your artwork before on the early days of DeviantArt and followed your artist journey to more modern platforms, including Instagram. What started at first as some comments and replies turned into daily calls and co-op video game playthroughs. Gazgar97 became you best internet friend and you planned to meet up at a gaming convention once you realized you both were growing up in the same area. When you arrived at the center, you were out of breath from rushing over. You looked around until you found someone around your age waiting at the designated meet up spot. "Kyle!" you called as you started to jog over and he turned to you with a wide smile. "Sorry I was late but it's so nice to actually meet in person," you said excitedly and he matched your enthusiasm. "Crazy we could both be here," he continued as you chatted and happily made your way to the entrance. Throughout the whole day, you both started to realize how well you two bantered with one another and how you were able to walk in such a comfortable silence. Maybe it was the way he cheered when he won at a silly little Mariocart competition but you began to wonder if this one time meet up would turn into something more.

A peek into your relationship: After kicking your boyfriend's ass in another round of Wii Sports, Kyle laid on the couch defeated. "That's 5-0, babe," you announced triumphantly as you put your head on his chest. "Whatever," he sarcastically said and placed a kiss on your temple. As you laid on his chest listening to his steady heart beat, you were at peace. "You know if we were a Greek myth we would be Atalanta and Hippomenes," you whispered after a few moments of silence. He chuckled and you could feel his chest rise before he responded. "I'm not sure I know that one," he said and you took this opportunity to tell him of one of the great love stories. "Well essentially Atalanta was known for her athleticism and there was a great footrace that no one could best her in. So the clever Hippomenes asked Aphrodite for three golden apples to distract her during the race. One by one, he strategically dropped the beautiful fruit and eventually beat her," you recounted and he looked at you, mystified. "So at the end of it, she accepted defeat and they became comrades in hunting rather than him making her upload traditional wife duties," you finished. He took a moment to think before replying. "I think we are but you have to let me win some games," he sighed before you laughed wildly and prepared for another match (that you would inevitably win).

[ileftherbackhome]

like i do think there needs to be space for white celebrities to be honest about the emotional realities of being politically activists as well without shaming them for feeling those emotions, right?

like yeah, maybe it's because i can only see it in a white woman perspective of having done the exact same thing before in my youth while trying to make friends with other white women but like it DOES suck and feel embarrassing when you think you're saying the right thing but nobody wants to hear it. maybe it's also my autistic perspective too because at least the narrative taylor has given us, i understand to being bullied and not understanding why as a child and being hesitant to make friends and then going into adulthood and entering a new phase (for me sorority college life ugh dont ask me id like to Forget) trying to make friends but not being able to ignore the harsh social realities of the world and trying to navigate friendship in white spaces in adulthood.

but like i just... everything i hear from political leaders and activists on the extreme left side of politics, especially globally, is that the best way to be an ally to ANY community is to call out bigotry when you hear it. however, especially for taylor swift who is very silent on political issues and who grew up idealizing the chicks, when you make that part of a public platform, it DOES come with mental health compromises.

again, if we broaden the discussion to societal standards of ethical behavior and how should allies move about in the world, we hear this narrative ALL THE FUCKING TIME from black activists on the internet. Kat Blaque is prime example of this and she talks about it often on her channel the impact it had on her back in 2016. um that one chick.... princess flowers! she also talked about her trauma regarding her harassment. like and there are many more people that have spoken out about how awful it is to be a political activist online nowadays.

do you guys think it only happens to the black activists though? the struggle with their mental health? i can only speak from my brief time on twitter before i was harrassed into getting banned for supporting amber heard but like even knowing some of the comments are fake, i had a walking dead actress put my tweet on blast onto her account. me. a fucking nobody. and it DID take an effect on MY mental health.

and i think we just have to be willing to hear it coming from white activists as well because frankly, white voices get the most validation. there IS a reason yall wanted her specifically to speak about politics after all right. her fame as a white woman, arguably The White Woman, would help get ALOT of shit done. and i guess in a way, she is tackling a political issue, it's just not one you guys are very happy about discussing i think.

like, yeah, after 2016 happened to her over the most pathetic ass petty bullshit, why WOULD she speak up about anything that matters ever again? I'm not saying i agree with her mentality but i do see how someone who is not in therapy would get to that conclusion. I've BEEN there before but for like different reasons. when you have trauma, your brain can react illogically to so many fucking things that seem normal and fine and healthy enough. thats like the point of trauma.

and i feel like honestly the reaction to i hate it here just validated her trauma response even more because i cannot even begin to describe how pathetic some of y'all were about that song. STILL are about that song. i keep thinking about how in ms americana she said that she felt like saying anything would have added fuel to the fire and she didnt want to cause harm by trying to speak out.

the hatred yall showed in response to her saying the 1830s had sexism and racism in it and would've been fun to live in..... i fear that it did the exact opposite of what yall wanted and just validated that belief for taylor and i cant help think... what's the point? was it useful? did the clowning on her make you feel happy inside? are you happy now that she refuses to talk about palestine or trump or the abortion ban?????

idk it feels so fucking destructive and mean and most of.... unnecessary.

idk if you want to ask people to challenge social norms, you have no not freak out every time they don't talk about exactly what YOU want them to bring attention to.

[inamorato666]

another venting post but i just want to express in as much detail as possible about the sheer mourning i have for my friends

they arent dead, none of them are. they just moved on. we've just outgrown each other. im sure a few of them have this same feeling as me, at least to some extent.

most of these friends that i often see are online profiles. my main source of communication is through discord, and during the pandemic, my first year being inside was hellish but at the same time i cherished all those chaotic times of being in servers laughing my ass off at the stupidest shit ever. granted, we were all lonely, trapped in isolation. of course we would cling to each other more in an communal online space.

an important detail about this though is that shortly after lockdown was initiated, my parents pulled me out of public school and put me in homeschooling. that was the beginning of my downfall.

as time passed and everyone was returning to attending school in person, i was still stuck in my same routine of always being online. it was a hellish cycle that soon became. at first it wasnt all that bad since i still had so many friends to keep up and rely on. but in my last year of isolation, the course of growing up and out had taken its toll. so many people were forgotten as i came and went. not to mention that the closest friendgroup i had been with ended up forgetting about me too, as i had to leave it due to being left out of things too many times.

and ever since then ive barely been able to heal from that intense loneliness. ive met my girlfriend which has been an absolute blessing and i now have one of the closest friend ive had ever but. i cant help but still mourn that feeling of being surrounded by people who cared about me like i cared about them.

i deeply miss it. i dont know whats happening to me but it feels like i cant make friends anymore. i dont know if its because of the social isolation, general smaller than average range of people since my school is a smaller charter one or just the general process of growing and maturing. but every time i seem like i can enter a promising friendgroup i end up leaving for whatever reason. its mostly because i realize i cant stand those people or they still forget about me even if it feels like ive made a good impression.

i cant help but feel guilty for wanting more. after all, my friend and my lover are all i need right? but then again humans are social creatures. everyone has a group they can fall back to. so why not me? what happened to me? who do i blame?

it feels so...i guess, bittering when i see or hear about either of the two most important people in my life mention about their friends. i want to join in so badly. i really do. but i know the pattern. i know ill leave. i dont know if ill ever fit into a group. i dont know if this is okay and i should move on and make peace or continue trying.

ive been trying to numb about this for a while now. but the pain resurfaced recently. it was a realization. a realization that this one group of people that ive been hanging out with consistently doesnt care about me. i always have to butt myself in so i can be acknowledged. even then, they still ignore me so many times.

my chest is starting to hurt so much whiel writing this because im now realizing how lonely i am. im surrounded by people but almost no one sees me. i want to share my ideas and experiences so badly. no one wants to hear me. i feel so selfish for wanting more than i already have.

the reason why i started writing this was because of a particular friend i had since the early days of middle school. we clicked after the first few anxious weeks of school. while we didnt have any classes together we still found each other whenever we could. we had our cringy anime phases together. we comforted each other. we fantasized about living in a giant mansion in the middle of the woods with other friends with our other friends, making our food, tending to our house, healing.

ever since i left that friend group that forgot about me it seemed like even she forgot about me too. the process of realizing that was slow and almost painless, but every time i realize every day we are fading and straying away from each other more and more to the point ive now accepted that i probably wouldn't want to talk to her even as much as i want to relive those conversations we had in the past.

we were the awkward, emo, queer kids. shes moved on. shes almost unrecognizable now. im not even mad im just...stunned that my memory of her doesnt match her current self. that realization hurts, that im living in the past while everyone is moving on in the present.

"used to be one of the rotten ones and i liked you for that/now you're all gone got your makeup on and you're not coming back" is a lyric by social broken scene in a song called "anthems for a seventeen year old girl"

she has her make up on and she is not coming back. im still rotting. i feel so lonely and i dont think this can ever be numbed.

[starillusion13]

Ok so I am bored to death soo questionnaire ahead:

Birth month

Hav u dated

If u could spend one day with an idol who?

Can u sing

Fav k-pop songs

Fav non k-pop song

Is yuta sexy?

Fav food

Fav drink

Am I annoying

What if I am a 40 y/o uncle?

Kiss marry kill (atz/nct) also me

Ideal date

Fav movie,series,anime,comic

Do u believe in aliens

Why are cows white

Would u date if taeyong was a fat cow

Are u cow?

Assign me an animal/flower/season/thing/colour

Are u checking facts

Ok that's it. If u don't wanna ans anz Q ignore it~

-🦀

wait some questions are- oh gosh am cracking up!

June (yes I am same month as Haechan Taeil Yeosang)

No (I receive a lot of proposals but no. never felt like to date coz I cant trust anyone)

Taeyong (I am really so into him like i just want to meet him one day just to say Thank you for appearing in my life suddenly back in those days. he has changed me a lot and taught me so many positive things.) Also, Hongjoong, Yunho & Mark

Yes I can sing. (I was in singing and dancing club back in school coz I can do both)

Right now I would say Box-nct dream but (been through, thunder, playboy, heart attack - exo, sun&moon, no longer, lipstick, sit down, lips, -nct 127, inception, arriba, fever -ateez, teddy bear, never goodbye, its yours, rainbow -nct dream, after midnight, poppin love, domino, all for love, no one but you -wayv, wish u were here, line em up - superm, Im unhappy, new world - aespa, sunrise, summer rain -gfriend)

else from kpop (dowtown - allie x, I'm not her - clara mae, eastside - halsey, ciao adios - anne marie, all we know - chainsmokers, i like you so much you'll know it, know me - gemini, on the loose- niall horan, arcade- duncane laurance, 6 feet under -bellie elish, fetish - selena gomez...I listen to non kpop more so if I start with all then it'll be about a post only for songs) I listen to songs almost whole day so theres a big list...sorry but I literally love when someone asks me about my fav songs.

Of course Yuta is sexy...comeon that video of him stretching and his butterfly tattoo peeking beneath his shirt is still imprinted in my head. His whole appearance is what some fans their idol to be.

Food,I'm not a foody person. I often skip meals. but I love cakes and ice cream a lot.

Smoothie (I try those special ones from every cafe, I love it)

of course not. Never, if you ask me 100 asks a day, I will still answer u. I am always online coz my studies r online related so just I take time to answer but u cant be annoying. I love to interact with u so much. you are the sweetest anon. I am glad to be your friend.

It's okay. (If the uncle is feeling uncomfortable to share his age with younger people then fine but if he is sexualizing or making dirty jokes with a younger person who is half of his age then he should feel shame on himself like how are you treating someone of your child's age also I have followers who are almost 40 and I have fun with them in some topics even in real, I engage in a convo with elder people too fast)

sorry love but kill - you coz no one comes before ateez n nct

kiss - NCT (this is literally like choosing btw mom n dad)

marry - ateez (age diff is perfect to marry lol)

to be honest if I could date someone, i would have dated Yunho (caring, soft, a perfect body proportion (im not pervert i swear), passionate about his belongings, a bit dominative but not like those in ffs, romantic, smart, can cook, sassy, cute, gentleman, hot) Taeyong and Hongjoong should not see this

Fav movie - interstellar( i have watched it 7 times not kidding, I love space a lot), I literally watch all youtube videos on space and its history, series- theres few in my language which r too good but I dont think they have translation ver. , if u say drama then (meteor garden, put your head on my shoulder, love o2o, vincenzo, extraordinary you, doom at my service) Im not a anime/comic person but my bestie is.

As I love space so certainly I believe in aliens and some unnatural events happened on earth.

Cows white...but I see cows of different colors, but those white ones who are due to pigmentation reason dw they get pretty privileges lol

Why will I date a cow? oh gosh no. Honestly, he is too thin to be a cow and cow doesnt have those sharp jawlines. he could have been a knife, I would have used it regularly.

If I were a cow then only it would have been possible to date a cow Taeyong.

Animal - fox (dk but I felt like it)

flower - sunflower

season - summer

thing - ribbon

color - red

assign things r very random but I trust my instincts and they told me these all

checking facts (?) check the facts go check that check the stats go check that.

WOW LOOKS LIKE MY WIKIPEDIA

[andnowwedance]

This team pr vs team real bullshit needs to end.

If people want to believe it’s PR let them, if people want to believe it’s real and everyone else is just crazy to think this is pr, let them.

This is to everyone!

Each of these bs teams need to stop going into the spaces where majority feel the opposite.

It’s like going to a sports team event and everyone is for team a but you, KNOWING this event is for team a, walk in there going team b is the best, then acting shock when everyone goes at you.

Do NOT go actively search each others blogs just to get riled up in an argument. If you see a comment you don’t agree with somewhere……ignore it.

Pr blogs do have some valid reasons to believe this is Pr, and that is on Chris for making his relationship look like PR and using it for PR purposes.

But come the fuck on, the man stated he got married, out his own mouth and how idiotic would it be to lie about something that never happened.

If and a HUGE If this turns out to be PR…..I’d love to see the outcome of you all arguing over this mess.

Me: 😆 🍿

Moving on……

As far as Chris Evans fans not liking this particular girl …..unless you aren’t aware of the racism amongst other things…..sorry but people want to know that their fav celeb didn’t purposely marry a racist. Miss me with that just because her friends are racist doesn’t mean she is or those posts were old, …..naw, no decent human being even dares to tweets, posts, etc vile things like that, period. I’m a person of color and maybe that don’t mean jack shit to some of you, but it mattered to me.

You have people using Chris’ relationship to taunt others knowing damn well the girl and her friends are problematic. That’s childish as fuck to me. Grow the hell up!!

Any woman this man gets would get some backlash from his fandom but there are usually still fans that are like whatever not my business, they are here for his work or dog, but In this case this girl has tainted his fandom and for the fans who don’t care who he dates, they’ve seen alba’s own actions and it makes them question who the hell Chris is and if that’s the type of person they want to support. So that’s why many care. It’s not rocket science. Many people are here hoping this relationship is bs, but I’ll get back to that point in a sec.

My advice to you is to stop arguing with fans of any fandom, it’s a losing battle. If people want to die on these hills….LET THEM! Reality will smack people in the face soon enough.

We are all responsible for what we interact with and consume so instead of arguing with people about whether something is pr or real, find your group of people on here and stick with that.

I’m tired of everyone and everyone is doing the same damn thing on the same spectrum on opposite sides and then trying to point fingers and act as though the other side is “crazy”.

It’s ridiculous coming on here and seeing the same bs continuing.

I left after he confirmed his marriage. I lowkey hop back here because I made friends and in the process I get updates about this shitshow, either way it’s still a shitshow. 😂

But Grown ass people online arguing over some celeb bullshit. Real relationship….PR relationship…..either way Chris Evans made a choice so technically why is anyone still here? He doesn’t come out clean either way you look at it.

No one on either team likes her except the ones pretending she’s everything and then some just to taunt the pr blogs. 🙄

Outside of the pr or real mess, many just want to know how this eventually ends divorce, pr exposed, kids, etc. it’s a mess.

Hope that she’d light on some things.

😮‍💨

I can be a bit blunt at time, but I had a lot to say.

The only innocent party in this mess is Dodger Evans!

I stopped reading halfway through because dont come into my inbox lecturing me. I stay out of this 99.9% of the time, a look at my blog will confirm that. that one blog just happened to cross my path today and i had just enough time to point out that nonsense i didnt go looking for for shit

Also,

“Pr blogs do have some valid reasons to believe this is Pr, and that is on Chris for making his relationship look like PR and using it for PR purposes.”- no they dont. There is no reason.

Im sure there is several other things i could make points about but as i said i stopped reading halfway through. I know how to act, you dont gotta teach me.

[wall-eye]

Feels great to be ignored. Being ignored unintentionally hurts worse tho

[thanook]

hello everyone. i'd like to make a statement. ill try to keep it short. and fail.

even if its all a illusion and i end up snapping out of it in a week, or the incels were right and the pipeline is real, i'd like to say that this is easily the best community i have even been part of. never in my life have i ever had the courage to ask this to anyone. so i took the fact that i was in a trans accepting space and simply asked strangers online who could not do anything to IRL me.

but i have never gotten more comforting responses. maybe its the nature of my nation, maybe the nature of my family, maybe poorly disguised trust issues, but i have never felt... how do i word this, "safe", in my life, talking about something so personal with people who all information i know are the string of characters they chose to represent themselves as and the picture they chose to display where it was intended to be their face, and getting such... "emotionally helpful"? responses too... its like shouting a math problem down a train, and having a stranger shout back at you, not the answer, the way you are supposed to solve that problem. except solving that problem meant you would have money for food that month

i have... mixed feelings. i dont know what im going to do to understand myself. i dont know why in the fuck does it matter. i dont know what the consequences are to doing nothing and trying to ignore all of this and just keep going. i dont know how could someone believe in a loving god under such disgrace, and i dont know if i want to abandon the burden of knowledge and take the same route as them, or if i should just go live in a cabin in the middle of bangladesh and never talk to anyone or about anyone who lives more than 20 miles away. i dont know why i care this hard, i dont know why i cant do anything for the love of me, how do i even have people who care for me still, or how do i tell my feelings to go read albert camus, fucking flip a barrel of coffee down its metaphorical throat, and stand the fuck up like the man it has convinced itself it is, and stop caring so goddamn hard about a fucking grammatical feature. A GRAMMATICAL FEATURE!

the next portion of this text was written two hours after the one before it.

so i have just went through the self descovery of a lifetime. wanna know what i learned fuck it, we ball. ... god i fucking love being alive

Hey guys I'm starting to think I might be trans what do I do