#this is something im working on myself as well. work on it with me!

[creaturefeaster]

agh!!!!

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #1: DYAD

(also on spotify!)

Hello everyone!! It's been a couple weeks and change since Constant Companions, my newest album, was released unto the world, and I've been genuinely blown away by the response. Genuinely, thank you to everyone who's been streaming, commenting, making mashups, changing their pfps and usernames - it means the world to me!

I wanted to give some of that love back with something people have been asking me a lot about - and, admittedly, something I love doing. Song explanations! Deep dives! Dropping the lore! Welcome... to the Constant Companions Closeups...

For the next eleven days, I'll be going into each track one by one and babbling about the process, inspiration, details, feelings, and thoughts behind each one! We're getting sappy. We're bearing our hearts. We're telling unfunny jokes. And we're starting with track one - DYAD (featuring unit.0)!

---

Naturally, since this is the first track, it also serves as a great point to talk about my intention with this album as a whole!

I'll elaborate more on this with future tracks, but to me, there are really two main things that define the sonic progression of this album versus my previous work - guitars and vocal synths. Obviously, these things have been present in my work since I first started calling myself Jamie Paige, but Constant Companions is intended to be my overwrought, sappy confession of love to these two things that time and time again have made me simply want to make music. I love rock and I love Hatsune Miku dammit!!!

I had originally written this song in February of 2023 for a game-jam-esque online festival hosted by my friend Loni called HAPPY PARTY TRI, and at that time, I had found myself at a major crossroads. I had put out People Posture Play Pretend and :women_wrestling: the previous year, and while the response was nice, I was feeling listless and lost.

I love singing. I like my voice well enough. I certainly love writing music with lyrics!! But... there was something uniquely electrifying about using vocal synths. Amidst a lot of insecurity and emotional turmoil surrounding the process of making art and putting myself out into the world, it was one of the few things that just made everything feel right. Suddenly, I was making the same kind of music that had touched my heart so many times over.

Would it alienate people, though? Would I lose longtime listeners? Yes, that weighed on my mind more than I'd like to admit, but even more than that... I was worried I'd lose some part of myself, as silly as it sounds. Maybe what I thought was a bridge would become a barrier, and the messages I wanted to send across the gap would never find their way.

Ultimately, I felt that Dyad was the only kind of opener I could've possibly given this album, and a perfect fit for the album's motif. A dialogue between myself, stricken with loneliness and a lack of inertia running in circles, and that synthesized voice (ANRI Arcane my darling), grabbing the outstretched hand and asking a question I already know the answer to -

"Baby, do you know what you wanna hear?"

Yes, it's a love song, but it's not just for a person - it's a love song for the creative impulse, and for the places I wanted it to take me.

im resisting the urge to be jokingly dismissive of myself to diffuse tension but i still need to signal that the emotionally bare part of this is over so pretend im doing a funny little dance Anyways let's talk more technical stuff

---

Like many of my songs, Dyad came together from a patchwork of different snippets and ideas I had laying around. The back half of the chorus - "dream together, we can dream together" - originally came from this idea I had jotted down something like 9 months prior, but ended up being a perfect fit for Dyad in basically every way. The verse snippet that I'd written to go with it got reused for a later song on Constant Companions as well! (I say without naming it, as if it isn't literally lifted wholesale from this demo and thus incredibly obvious)

I wasn't originally planning on brazenly quoting the bridge of a Tally Hall song when I set out to write this song, but while toying around with a bridge idea involving a shortened version of the pre-chorus melody, I realized I had inadvertently copied it anyways. I was going to scrap it... but at the request of my dear friend and certified Tally Hall lover Marcy Nabors, I made it an explicit reference. Which I'm fine with, personally! The first CD I ever owned was a copy of Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum my sister bought me all the way back in 2006 - You can pry that sentimental attachment from my cold, dead hands, TikTok kiddies.

Lastly - not really behind the scenes so much as just a shoutout - thank you to unit.0 for the lovely lead guitar work on this song!! He's been a beloved collaborator of mine for many, many years now, and one of the people who ultimately convinced me this direction was the right one to go in, so it means a lot to share this song with him. Go listen to his music!!! Now!!!!!!

That's about it for this song! Not to sound like a fucking YouTuber, but genuinely, if there are any details you'd like to hear more about, let me know and I might made a bonus post at the end of all this. Otherwise, thank you for listening! Tomorrow: Not Quite There, featuring telebasher!

❤️💚

[struwberrii]

chapter 3 : terms and conditions ⋆⭒˚.⋆

masterlist

you look up from your bakery duties, prepared to greet those who just walked into your shop, when you hear a familiar laugh. standing in the entrance of your bakery was osamu, atsumu, suna and a guy you hadn't seen before. you felt your heart skip a beat when your eyes locked on suna.

you quickly catch yourself and go back to helping the current customer youre with. all you could do was hope he didnt catch you staring, hed probably think you were a total weirdo or something, or even worse, you could just be boosting his ego.

in between helping customers and packing orders, you exchange quick glances at your phone to check on what akaashi is up to

after 2 more customers you finally reached osamus group.

"heyy y/n! how've ya been?" osamu smiles at you, you smile in return and greet him and all his friends.

"so you're the infamous y/n" the friend you hadnt seen before holds out a hand to greet you. "infamous?" you question, worry rushing over your body, what have these guys been saying about you?

osamu kicks aran in the back of the knee from behind the counter so you werent able to see. "i talk very highly about yer bakery, these guys know all about ya!" osamu nervously chimes in, followed by a forced laugh.

"yeah, nice to finally meet you, i'm aran" he smiles shaking your hand firmly. you take his order and add osamu’s regular to the order as well, then you take atsumus order, then finally sunas.

“what do you suggest, y/n?” suna speaks up after examining the menu for a minute. “our cheesecakes are pretty popular” you smile, pointing to a few flavors in your display case. “is that your favorite?” you look up from the display only to see suna staring right at you, he had no interest in the cheesecakes. you felt your face heating up at the interaction.

“uhmm…. my favorite are the chocolate chip cookies, i put a lot of work into those” you smiled “i’ll try those then” he smiled lazily. you returned the smile and added the brownies to his tab. you then go to package his brownies and hand him the bag. “thanks” he says taking the bag from you, he turns to make his way over to his friends at their table, but stops and turns back to you. the business in the shop had kind of died down, you had started to make you way to the back until you heard your name called out

“y/n”

“yeah?”

“do you want to, uh, sit with us?”

“uhm, sure!”

you feel your palms get sweaty as you make your way around the counter to the table, one of your employees taking over the register

just as you pull out your chair to sit down you hear the doors of your bakery open. you look over and see akaashi staring back at you with a confused look on his face as he walks up to the ordering area.

“i think it’s bout time i properly introduce myself to ya, im atsumu miya, but cha can just call me tsumu’, i play volleyball on the msby team” he grins at you while tearing UP the banana bread and milk tea he ordered. it’s a little funny watching him talk about himself with bread crumbs all over his face, you couldn’t help but smile, it seemed like everyone was really enjoying your baking.

“oh, and i’m aran, i also play volleyball but for the tachibana red falcons, ive known these 3 idiots since high school though” he laughed, leaving the floor to suna

“we���ve already met, but yeah, i also play volleyball” he replied flatly. jeez, why even ask me to join you. “aren’t cha’ gonna tell her what team you play for!!” atsumu nudged him on the arm “i play for ejp” he says to you turning his phone off and putting it down for the first time since you’ve sat down

“so, how’d you meet osamu?” aran asked. “well we opened a few weeks ago and osamu was kind enough to bring some onigiri over as a welcome gift, after that we’ve kind of just been friends” you smiled. “wow, samu being nice, almost hard to believe” aran says side eyeing osamu next to him.

“woah” suna suddenly speaks up, you look over and see him taking a bite of the cookies you made. “these are actually a lot better than i thought they’d be” suna says looking at you with stars in his eyes. this was the first ounce of emotion he’d shown since you first met. “it’s like, you can taste the love that was put into these” suna smiled genuinely. “that’s probably the $45 flour yer tastin’” samu laughed. “yeah i must say, your baking is other worldly y/n, you’ve got serious skills” aran says validating sunas claims. “thank you guys so much” you smiled feeling your face heat up again

the rest of the night went smoothly, the conversation even continuing after closing at 8pm. akaashi had left about an hour ago and you felt yourself finally feeling comfortable around your new found friends.

“hey, how bout we all go to karaoke later, my treat!” osamu suggested.

everyone agreed and started to pack their belongings up. “i’ll have to close up shop but i could meet you guys there!” you smiled. “that’s fine, we’ll just go get a room and order drinks and food while we wait, it shouldn’t take you long right?” aran asked. “nope! maybe 30 minutes? and then i’ll be on my way”.

“here, put your number in my phone and i’ll text you the information” suna said handing his phone over to you. you knew he was just giving his number over to give you directions, but you couldn’t help but feel your face heat up at this gesture.

“i already have y/ns number y’know?” osamu cocked a brow at suna while you typed away on his phone. all suna did in response was shrug at the brunette in front of him, earning an eye roll from osamu. “i’ll text you soon” suna smiled at you as everyone waved goodbye on their ways out.

just as you begin to lock up shop you get another notification from suna

you already decided you weren’t going to sing but hearing everyone else sing sounded really fun, especially suna, you wondered what type of song he would pick or how his voice would sound. once you got to the karaoke spot you noticed someone waiting outside. suna? why was he out here all by himself.

“hey suna! why are you out here?” you asked curious.

“just getting some fresh air, oh, you’re here” he said standing up straight. “to be honest, karaoke isn’t really my scene” he admitted sheepishly.

“oh, me neither” you laughed in return

“wanna ditch?”

taglist: @karasusrealwife @iluv-ace @cc1306 @wakashudou @kawahearts @weirdowithaphone @sugacor3

(comment to be added to the list :)

[autisticlee]

kind of afraid to post this because I predict someone will misunderstand and be upset at me. but this blog is means as a personal journal and i don't post here for other people or attention—

something I see in the autism community (especially on tumblr) is when a less-disabled/lower support needs autistic is proud of their autism or likes it or whatever, the more disabled/higher support needs people think that person is invalidating them/their experiences and speaking over them (I'm not talking about posts that generalize all autistic people/autism as a whole and try to speak for everyone and say it cant disabled you because *they* dont struggle themselves. i only mean posts where people are talking about only their own personal experiences) but i've seen many posts and replies that tell people not to celebrate/be happy about/romanticize/like their own autism. just because they are privileged to not be disabled by it, and not everyone is as lucky, therefore it invalidates those struggling.

I get that it can make you feel left out and invalidated, but not everyone being happy about an aspect of something is forgetting you, talking over you, trying to invalidate you, etc. they can celebrate something without needing to add a reminder that other people are struggling. their experiences are allowed to be good and they are allowed to be happy about it! you can celebrate the good without it meaning the bad is being overlooked too. people can be happy about the positive traits of a thing without it meaning they dont care about the negative ones or the people affected by them.

maybe it sounds mean to "leave you out" but there's far more posts about the struggles of autism than good ones, at least from what i've seen, but tumblr algorithm so maybe thats incorrect. if you look up autism online though, you get flooded by negative things more than positive. lower support needs people also often get told they can't be autistic/don't need help/dont deserve accommodation because they aren't autistic enough. (even I get told this all the time and I feel i'm probably more in the medium support needs?) there's not much good for the people who need the good, so they make it for themsleves.

i'm sorry if it affects you to see people can enjoy an aspect of their lives that causes you great suffering :( I know how to feels to be struggling while people in the same place aren't and are having and sharing positive expiences because of the thing that causes you to suffer. i've been there and also felt left out and like they were ignoring me and my struggles. but!!!!! I learned that that's not always true! it doesn't have to be all bad for everyone! and they aren't trying to ignore my negative experience on purpose! we need to let people who need the positive have their own space just like the ones struggling. I struggle a lot with being autistic and sometimes wish I wasn't. but i'm still happy for the people that get positive things out of it instead and can thrive in life, while i'm barely surviving myself. these two things can coexist

maybe the low support needs people feel left out too and want to make their own posts among the sea of "autism is a horrible tragic disorder/disability and we wish we didn't have it and didn't struggle and suffer/autistic people can never have normal lifes/etc" and that's ok! everyone is valid, struggling or not. no one is talking over anyone else just by having a different experience and view! especially when they aren't making a side note to mention the other perspectives they don't experience themselves. it's not their job to always add a disclaimer about those other experiences. especially if they don't understand it because they never experiences it themselves and can't make an accurate post about it. you can make your own posts if you need to, or ask them to help you share it by sharing your experiences.

just like I make my own posts about how much I struggle in life because i'm autistic. often a post comes from reading a post where someone talked about how autism positively affects something for them, and I make my own post to talk about how that same trait affects me negatively. I don't comment on their post and say they are invalidating my experience. I don't let it make me feel bad or take it personally. I don't feel invalidated or attacked by low support needs who have amazing lives because they have friends and a job and other stuff and aren't struggling as much as me. I don't feel like they are talking over me when they say autism makes them smart enough to get a good job or empathetic enough to have lots of friends. i'm happy for them. they deserve support too.

basically, in simpler terms, someone saying they like pineapple on pizza and making a post about how amazing it is isn't invalidating people who hate pineapple on pizza, hate pineapple in general, hate pizza, or are allergic to pineapple or pizza. you can make your own posts saying you hate it, but don't say people who post about liking it are wrong and not allowed to like it!

again, i'm not talking about the posts where people say "*all* autistic people should like their autism because it's not a disability" or something like that. if that's what people are referring to when they make posts saying to not celebrate autism because it leaves higher support needs out and talks over their struggles, then I apologize. maybe i read those wrong or they aren't worded very well, just like i'm sure this post of mine isn't worded well and will cause people to misunderstand my meaning. but they're always worded to sound like no one should make positive autism posts because it makes people feel bad who don't have the same positive experiences. IF That is indeed the case, then that's just as unfair as the people that tell high support needs to stop complaining and enjoy their autism/disability instead!

this actually goes for many things in general, not just autism. replace autism with other things and it works as well. it's a lesson we need to learn together!

[midwinterwings]

RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1

Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.

[dreamwinged]

anyway HIIIII!!! i'm sorry for going inactive out of nowhere! i missed u guys, and i hope every1 has been doing well :> to be honest, i've realized this site makes me really anxious so i likely won't be coming back or being active like i used to be. i'll still keep my blog up, and might pop back in every now and then to say hi, but i probably won't post consistently or anything like that :<< however, i srsly love and value all the connections and friends ive made via this blog so much, all of u are so lovely, and ill miss u lots 💘 i am (embarrassingly) active on twitter, so if anyone has it, dm me and id love to be your mutual there! :D fair warning i talk a lot about my selfship, but i find that for whatever reason im just more comfortable there :} ((OH AND DISCORD. IF ANYONE WANTS TO EXCHANGE DISCS MSG ME!))

sooo yeah!! ueueue i dont know how to end this... wishing peace and love and f/o kisses for all my moots

[puppyeared]

AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY

[thebirdandhersong]

???? something something deep discomfort with body image is it generational?????????

[curioscurio]

Got up early (for me), ate a light and healthy breakfast, applied to some jobs, took a long mental health walk with the dogs, gave one of them a bath, and even did some phone calls and messaging regarding my medication and pharmacy problems and managed to sort it out without breaking down!!! And! Showered!! Kicking ASS at mental health today

[spookythesillyfella]

this is probably one of the most wonderful videos ive made using capcut

★ feat : @chamom1le-t3a . @thecultoflove nd @jumjum-crafts 's tonys

[ironicsoap]

you are expendable, you are not expected to return

[d8tl55c]

me: waiting for shoe(s) to drop

Personified Alan Becker YouTube Icon: oh... buddy...

[quaranmine]

On Wednesday before I gave my presentation I confessed to a new employee that I was worried it would be too long and she brightly told me her life hack was to just let AI rewrite things for her. She said I should put in all my talking points and ask ChatGPT to give me a five minute exactly presentation. I was like....how is the most polite possible way (since this is a new colleague I shouldn't get off on the wrong foot with) that I can express that I will Not be taking this advice. Ever. I told her that I didn't think we were allowed to use ChatGPT at this job (we most certainly are not, it is a nightmare for any type of protected information) and also that I prefer to write all of my own work. Despite my best efforts the last part of that was still passive aggressive, lol.

Something about being a writer makes it so that it's almost offensive to me for someone to suggest I use AI to do my work instead? Like, the day I reach the point where I let AI write something for me is the day y'all need to be checking me for brain damage because clearly I'm losing it

[lilliemadoka]

hirogaru sky precure episode 43, colourised

(i know this doesnt look the best but ive been having rlly wonky art recently and if i keep fussing over the details i'll never step out of my comfort zone. i need to get over myself and do shit, i've decided)

(also battamonda doesnt look as angry as the og image but i wanted to give them the petty gay sigh look. also the antennae going up bc they are actually mad lol. i almost forgot to add those lmaoooo)

[rileys-battlecats]

i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.

i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.

anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)

[cathalbravecog]

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK