#ive been thinking abt them a lot <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts okay before i answer the second trigger question i NEED to talk about the trickster/clarence/mal backstory. fuck . okay. you know the drill. nhw essay under the cut:

ok first off this is the required listening for reading this post bc ive imagined all of this in the form of an animatic (trickster pov). there was like a 4-hour span of time at work one day last week where i just had this song on repeat and zoned out thinking abt this while i did absent cleaning tasks. so thats how u KNOW im insane

ok so i still havent thought of a name for the city. but ive been thinking about this city as a parallel equivalent to the spirit world. ironically, its a city that doesnt have a huge parahuman population, so its relatively quiet. the cape presence is pretty small. the lead hero in the city is Whisperer (aka clarence albert), a striker/mover/stranger. he can fly, turn invisible (NOT intangible!!!!!!!!), and if he can get a hand on someone he can calm their emotions just by touching them. it's effectively like a tranquilizer, except theyre not asleep theyre just not feeling whatever strong emotions led them to causing trouble in the first place. (thinking abt this like a touch-based version of the calm emotions spell in dnd, its concentration so the effect is limited to when hes actually touching someone. when he lets go, theres a small window of time before they reorient themselves and are back to whatever they were feeling before) (this is to parallel the idea that the whisperer can pull chaos spirits out of possessed people like william did to atlas).

anyway. distracted. Whisperer's partner was originally a rogue named Ghoul, a huge hulking Brute cape who didnt really cause many serious problems but was a huge disturbance to the local people just beacuse of his monstrous appearance. Clarence confronted him and Ghoul dropped his changer form to reveal mallard conway, a man who had only recently triggered and was essentially.. lost. directionless. he didnt know what to do with his powers, since they were so... different. hes a master/changer/brute, with the ability to create strong illusions and influence people in his regular form, but can change forms to be a hulking monster with brute strength. essentially both brains and brawn in one guy. clarence asks him something along the lines of "well if you have nowhere else to go, why not come wiht me?" and basically. takes him under his wing? i guess? its not like he trains him, but just by being around clarence, mal learns what its like to be.. good. not selfish and heartless. clarence isnt much involved with capes from other cities since their own is pretty quiet, so his main focus is to just kind of keep the peace. keep the balance.

this goes on for... a long time. clarence and mal (whisperer and purgatory << mal's new hero name) are basically inseparable. call it love, call it brotherhood, call it a one-sided hero worship crush on mal's end. who knows. theyre secretive, not in the public eye much unless they need to be. UNTIL. some new villain triggers and is an IMMEDIATE s-class. now i have a couple different ideas for how and why exactly the trickster triggers and where he comes from but honestly im okay with leaving it a mystery for now. one day he shows up like a natural disaster. it becomes a situation VERY similar to nilbog- the prt forces get called in, they try to take him down with non-capes first since hes a high leveled master and they dont want him to immediately gain super powerful puppets to control. this,, does not work and basically just feeds him fodder to make his numbers grow VERY quickly. Whisperer and Purgatory (mostly whisperer) can't sit back and watch this Trickster guy just keep absorbing innocents into his masses and use them to do his dirty work anymore, so Whisperer wants to confront him. I think Purgatory tries to hold him back at first (mainly due to the fear of losing him, but he words it as "we're not supposed to, if either of us get caught it would be so much worse for everyone involved"). Whisperer does not listen to him and goes anyway; hes convinced that with his power, all he needs to do is touch Trickster and everything will be so much easier to handle once hes out of commission. the fight DOES NOT GO THIS WAY. clar and mal actually are able to fight their way up to the trickster, clarence gets a hand on him.. but his power doesnt work. theres this moment where the trickster freezes like maybe something did happen, but then clarence realizes like... he cant feel anything. i think usually he can tell what sort of emotion he's repressing when he uses his power; sort of innately understands what sort of effect hes having on a person, but with the trickster it jsut feels like. nothing. theres nothing there. and then he starts laughing and breaks the silence and turns around to grab clarence and hurt him in some way. mal is preoccupied; hes fighting off puppets as theyre sort of swarming the area, allowing clarence a moment to use his power... and then he sees whats happening.

i dont think trickster is particularly strong on his own. but. i mean. his name is trickster. i think he probably keeps some sort of secret weapon on him. knives in his coat to make the "ive got a trick up my sleeve" joke. he slashes clarences throat, doesnt even bother trying to control him. what would he want with a power like that anyway? clarence is basically his antithesis- calming instead of chaos. that sort of power is almost like an insult to him. so he kills him. clarence is laying there bleeding out, trickster is laughing over him, mal drops everything and runs over to clarences side, trying desperately to talk to him or stop the bleeding or ANYTHING. he dies in mals arms. mal fucking. fully snaps. instant brute form, he wants to tear the trickster limb from limb, kill anything that moves around him etc etc etc. in his rage, hes not really fighting very well, hes leaving himself vulnerable, theres a lot of openings etc etc. trickster fucks up his face pretty bad (this is how he gets those big scars like he has in canon).

however, MALS powers are more fun so he doesnt outright kill him. its harder to take control of him both because of his current rage state and also the fact that hes also a master and part of mals power kind of cancels out some of the tricksters control. so instead of puppeteering him right away, trickster forces him out of the city. he of course tries to keep going back in, but at that point the PRT has made the decision to put the city under quarantine and just let him take it. they keep mal from going back in. (clarence's body is still in there. he doesnt even get a burial.) . you know how mannequins main thing is that he was originally a hero that was driven crazy by the simurgh attack that killed his wife and daughter? yeah thats what happened to mal. he was just totally unreachable after this. clarence basically saved his life, was his best and only friend, was his mentor, was the person who taught him how to be good... and now hes gone. what else does mal have left. he goes back to being called Ghoul. he joins the s9. his rage and grief eventually settle into a manipulative calm, and he starts using his master powers more than his brute powers, to get what he wants from people.

aaaand then . years later. he sees the new wards team on tv, and theres a hero with a cape that looks achingly familiar. surely it cant be him, clarence is dead, has been dead for years... but there he is. theres his costume. this new hero is even ghost-themed. as smart and manipulative and greasy as mal is i think theres a fundamental piece of him thats just. really irreparably unhinged. seeing something that reminds him of clarence again drives all common sense out of his mind and he defaults to "thats him" even though he would logically know that its not. and thats why hes so obsessed with wibby. he knows this new cape calls himself Wraith, but like. capes change their names all the time! mal even did it himself once! maybe if he calls him Whisperer enough times, he'll remember who he is.

theres some more to this plotwise that mostly just deals with. the plot. but i feel like this is a good setup for mals whole thing :]

[valgeristik]

You know they've been stabbin' 🤗

been thinking a lot lately about Zea n how they're perceived vs how they Are. And how their upbringing would affect all that. Especially Noel being one of their parental figures............maybe one day ill make a more eloquent post about it. but for now have. this (yes the boxes arent centered i know i know please ignore that, it would be too hard to fix now)

Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List

E-sims donation

[pooptrongnee]

IKKIIIII 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

[wackywatchdotcom]

Rewatching episode one, I noticed that when Ragatha and Jax are talking to each other about Jax having a key, Pomni flinches away from, and lifts her arms to protect her face and head, when Jax toys with the key and catches it near her.

I wonder if she is that jumpy around others normally or if it's just when she's in a stressful situation (like suddenly being trapped in the circus) what do you think?

OK. ok. you mention this. and ive never said anything about it but i have genuinely noticed this almost every time ive seen that scene. i think about it a LOT but i havent been able to figure out my thoughts on it. but i think about it genuinely a LOT...

(i went on a huge tangent abt her thats like. only sporadically related to this specific moment SORRY. it was hard to address this moment without discussing a LOT about her i feel)

for the sake of clarity in the event someone reading this is unfamiliar, what this ask is referring to is this:

with the way that she so quickly dissociates and HARD (not that most people Never experience dissociation or smth, but its the intensity of it and how quick into this situation she starts dissociating is like. it makes it seem like its smth her body and mind are Used To Doing) she REALLY gives off the feeling that she had pre-existing mental health problems (i struggle to place anything TOO specific with the limited information we have but i feel like theres definitely a few things she has going on) before she even got to the circus, and like she COULD just be a naturally jumpy person, but with the dissociation thing and general distrust towards others, it feels like her jumpiness is also related to these issues

while her being naturally nervous is sort of implied and clear (though i think the extent of it is exaggerated by the circumstances of the pilot in particular) there ARE a few other examples that stand out to me

i THINK this can largely be passed off as her just being on edge from the horror adventure, but i this is IS notable that she reacts genuinely pretty strongly to what is a relatively minor 'jumpscare.' it happens later too w kinger pressing the tape recorder

in general she seems VERY easily startled by people, and frankly it reads a lot like it stems more from people being near her than just things happening abruptly. she notably doesnt jump hard when the angel arrives- she DOES get scared, but she isnt necessarily startled. she DOES react very strongly to ghostly, but i think its notable that she seems to find his visual appearance frightening and debatably not necessarily startling, but thats not really 100%. the times she reacts the strongest have to do with people, which imo ties HARD into her not trusting people

episode 2 breaks down her distrust of people well, and i dont think its a self consciousness thing. it seems more that she just doesnt tend to find people trustworthy- if something bad was happening to her, she would sooner assume theyd let it happen rather than help her. it could be argued that its partially a guilt or projection thing with ragatha, but im not actually so sure. pomni seems to be ashamed of leaving her behind, but particularly through ep 2 she doesnt seemed Plagued With Guilt by the way she acts towards ragatha, which implies that the dream didnt have to do with her projecting that shame in a way shed assume ragatha would turn back on her, too

it instead seems to be that she doesnt trust ragatha just... in general. the 'im not a child' thing, while a legitimate problem for pomni to have with ragatha (i love ragatha, and from my place in the audience i know her concern is genuine, and that she truly wants to encourage pomni, and is trying, but from the perspective of people around ragatha, its not an unreasonable assumption that shes JUST being infantilizing and belittling), does illuminate how pomni is seeing ragathas attempts at cheering her up- that it comes from a place of seeing pomni as immature or generally unstable. that pomni is incapable of managing herself and needs to be coaxed. it implies pomni doesnt see ragathas attempts at help as genuine. combined with her dream, that ragatha would allow the worst to happen to her even when she was asking for help, makes it very clear that, even with the 'nicest' person in the circus, pomni just... doesnt really trust her

(it is worth noting that pomni DOES seem to genuinely want to help ragatha in the pilot. she DID try to find caine. but she bolts at the first opportunity. she does care about people, but when stressed, she operates on keeping herself safe first and foremost, that she needs to do anything to get out of a bad situation even if that means leaving someone behind- and with her dream, it does seem that she generally assumes other people operate similarly, or otherwise in their own best interest)

this does, of course, improve by the end of eps 2 and 3. the funeral, and ragatha offering to include her, and how the others talk about abstracted players (combined with her conversation with gummigoo, someone who she has to assure has genuine friendships with those around him despite the lack of a true reality for them to be based upon), are able to convey that oh, these people do actually care about the people around them. theyre being genuine. they arent just looking out for themselves and thats it- they care when bad things happen to each other. and theres no true reason for me to be an exception. which is ALSO why i dont think its a self consciousness thing, she seems able to reason that shes not an exception to the intents of others, so much that when she cant assure herself that others' intents hold her safety as any sort of priority as well, any trust goes out the window. she WANTS to help if she can, but esp in the pilot, as far as shes concerned, its everyone for themself when shit gets bad, including herself

ep 3, she seems more trusting of ragatha- she has neutral and positive interactions w her, rather than assuming a lack of sincerity in it. but its not just ragatha, actually, because even before her talk with him, you can see it in how she interacts with kinger as well

she initially tries to help him run, which isnt too out there- with how she genuinely DID initially try to help ragatha, it doesnt require her to go out of her way to grab him and RUN. she can run AND take him with her. she can help without putting herself in extra danger. but then she DOES go back, which is one of my favorite and imo underrated pomni moments. because THIS is what i think actually highlights an improvement in how she sees the others before her apologizing to ragatha or taking kingers hand. because she puts herself BACK into (percieved, since its not actual sure WHAT the angels intentions were her) danger in order to get kinger away too

(theres probably a case to be made that ragatha didnt seem to be in immediate danger- she was in pain, that much was clear, but kaufmo had ran away by then. but even still, pomni couldnt have known kaufmo would shift gears and start chasing her instead of ragatha that first time. and i dont know if she actually knew death wasnt possible here yet. which isnt very flattering for pomni but also people do not act in flattering ways under extreme stress, esp given a predisposition to not trusting others, which ill elaborate more on in a second here- not that pomnis abandonment was ok OR that it was like evil of her or smth. shes just a person. there is no way she was prepared to know how to act correctly in this situation, and she didnt)

theres also this

which is SUBTLE but highlights a genuine increase in trust even before their heart to heart. now that she knows the cast (save for jax, who she seems to react to the harshest, which is worth noting imo) are not acting solely in their own best interest, that they WILL consider the wellbeing of those around them including her, that their concern for one another is genuine (which is concerning that she even assumes that to begin with, which ill circle back to momentarily), she very clearly has way more faith in them and the idea that she should stick around the others for safety

and of course, ive said it before, but her taking kingers hand has little to do with her enjoying holding hands. its her knowing that, if kingers wrong, this is going to end very, very badly. if holding their breath isnt the solution theyre BOTH going to get possessed, and who knows how theyd get out of that situation. but she decides in that moment that her trust in the others isnt ONLY about looking out for them and believing that theyre sincere in their concern for her. but that she is willing to let the others put her at a potential massive risk. getting possessed was a blatantly immediately traumatic experience- and she lets kinger put her at risk of it happening again. THATS why she holds his hand, at least symbolically. she doesnt like contact. but she can brave something that she doesnt like, she can let him lead her into and through something potentially horrific, because shes deciding to trust him and the others, that theyre not just people she can interact with without fear of ill intentions, but that theyre people who she is going to coexist with. the best thing she can do for herself and the others is trust them and work with them actively

anyway that got off-track, the point being that her having to have these ideas instilled in her at all through shared experiences and trauma implies that, while these issues with distrust may have been exacerbated by the stress of everything, they didnt come from nowhere. these are problems she likely already had to some degree. its great that theres been improvement but that improvement directly implies thesse were improvements that needed to be made to begin with. and the fact that the person she gets repeatedly most startled by is jax. who, even with episode 2, she explicitly doesnt trust. in the pilot, at least, her distrust is more vague (i think the dream sequence in ep 2 IS what highlights it best) so her flinching from jax can be passed off as related to a general lack of adjustment to the new environment and situation shes in. but it happens again with jax in episode 3 (and, notably, she pauses afterwards but it takes a moment for her to relax even knowing its just jax), after shes adjusted somewhat, and after shes gained some trust with everyone except for jax (given his absence from the scene at the end of ep 2). it also happens when barons voice plays abruptly next to her

point being that imo, she IS naturally jumpy. she says herself that she doesnt handle jumpscares well, which somewhat implies this even outside of the circumstances of the circus. but with how she reacts to things, it feels like her general jumpiness is far, far worse when it comes to people she doesnt trust (be it because jax is Like That, or because shes not familiar with baron). the way i see it, then, her distrust extends to perceiving physical threats easily around people she hasnt ensured are safe to be around. she IS able to gain this trust in people, but she seems to automatically place the intents of others as being Potentially Unsafe from the jump, especially under stress. she can jump back from it fairly quickly for what its worth, but to be honest, it seems more like she operates on some general, everpresent level of hypervigilance thats just sometimes worse based on the situation

and frankly i dont think we know enough about her as of ep 4 to fully determine if there IS a reason for this. because someone can have a reason to be this jumpy around others, or they can just... be nervous and dislike people moving suddenly near them. combined with the dissociation thing, though, im inclined to think the circus did not cause this, just made it more extreme with more unpleasant stakes. there is hardly any time between her entering the circus and this happening. she hadnt even seen kaufmo yet in that very first example, but she was already on alert for a physical threat, and i just. i think about it all the time...

i think the main takeaway from all of this is that i think she isnt necessarily jumpy like that all the time, but i think trust is not a given with pomni, and her jumpiness massively depends on how much she trusts people near her and the situation shes in to not be a physical threat to her. its definitely worse in the circus, but i think it was probably still something present in a different context in the real world, too

[bandtrees]

“Sasha.” He murmurs into her mouth. “Yes.” She confirms. It’s me — I know — Me too — You’re welcome — like a cold reader. The kind of con he would have laughed out of the Institute. But his head’s worn down, his heart even moreso. He’s tired of thinking. —— John has one assistant he still trusts.

woe, spooky little john(not!)sasha thing i wrote be upon ye

[ohsweetflips]

my neutral dragon age trait is that 50% of the time i'm like "the more i critique the games, the more i love them. i can appreciate each game for what they are but my criticism and frustration over what they could be are a sign of love" and the other 50% is like "this is the writing of the dragon age series. sure. why not. this may as well happen."

[bizlybebo]

theres something in me that wants to write the exact same au shifted slightly to the left 48269484 billion times

[zerguette]

Echidna ocs:] Plus, the last three Guardians before Knuckles (and Claws)

Iam latino and these fellas have basically latino ancient cultures, like omg dude thats exactly what You need for Ari/Dreads to get hyperfixated on the longassdead echidna culture

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[donaviolet]

Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps

[arolesbianism]

Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman

[rinhaler]

lonely sad and so so poorly so think I'm gonna work on requests until I get sleepy :)

[jellyaibo]

Your blog is actually so joyous whimsical. I was gonna say this on not anon but social anxiety won today. I just wanted you to know that I like this blog a lot and it inspires me to be myself more

THANK YOU ANON!!!! gna be real half the reason i turned anon asks back on bc i know some folks are shy (and i totally understand! im quite shy too </3) BUT THIS REALLY MEANS A LOT !! i believe people should be allowed to indulge in the things they find comfort in NO MATTER HOW "WEIRD" AND "ABSTRACT" THEY MAY BE !

ive spent a lot of time in my life feeling ashamed for my interests and cuz the ppl around me would discourage me from doing so, but ever since i got into object shows and esp loser i just. couldn't contain myself so im just like fuck it ! im gna have fun with this while im still here !! (and then its been 4 years and i havent stopped in fact ive gotten much more autistic)

BUT YEA EHEHE I WENT ON A RAMBLE BUT IT DOES MEAN A LOT ! I BELIEVE EVERYONE SHOULD PLAY AND HAVE FUN ! BE MORE GENUINE ! be ""cringe"" and free (i dont like sayin cringe but im saying it to hammer in my point)

BE URSELF ! LOSER LOVES YOU !

[lunar-fey]

its normal to fall asleep and start dreaming in what literally could not have been more than 9 minutes!

[clumsypuppy]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

[fappellmoan]

for months i genuinely wholeheartedly could not tell the 911 guys apart and this is so important for me to stress bc throughout my life i have prided myself on being able to tell twins apart really easily and liking being that person to connect faces to other things ive watched or honestly just seen in passing like i could track down a random commercial actress and shit and i mean i suppose part of that is not knowing their characters and they just twin all the time but i apologize still im aware that mans last name is diaz and now i feel like im sitting here laid up @ all the tumblr lesbians like haha damn so thats buck x eddie? that said idk if im like happy i know any of this.