#idk if i should upload my oc stuff here

[pooptrongnee]

IKKIIIII 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

[hotheadedhero]

Request Rules!

Currently closed! Here for more info

Here be the masterlist!

I currently accept headcanon/one-shot requests for 2007, 2012, Bayverse, and Rise. 2003 will be included once I've watched the show all the way through and refreshed myself (will later edit when that changes). Or, if you do want to make an 03 request, nothing plot-heavy

Be patient with me for I am a lowly worm trying my best. I'd like to adhere to a schedule but, unfortunately, my brain doesn't function well with routine. Whilst writing tmnt fics is my lifeline, it can be quite overwhelming, too. If you're waiting a while for your request, it's probably because of that or work but I will try my darndest to fulfil your wishes

Keep your requests simple-ish if you can, please. It's often quite difficult to follow through how I believe an idea can go if half the story has already been written for me

I hold the right to refuse a request should I choose to. This isn't anything malicious, sometimes I may just struggle with what has been asked of me

Where smut/18+ is concerned, I'm still a little nervous about uploading anything of the sort. That doesn't mean I won't give it a go, though. As long as you're prepared to deal with some potentially awkward writing XD

I love receiving fluff and angst requests! Nothing is too cute or too dark. I'm not past getting into something gory

This may seem like a weird one but I reckon I very much prefer to stick to human reader fics. Can't quite explain this one. Only that's how I always envision the circumstances when I'm writing

With 'reader' specifications in mind, I default to fem unless directly asked to write in gn. It's not that I don't think I could make a male reader but I definitely don't feel as confident

No Turtle x OCs, please. Just general reader stuff :)

I also won't write x child readers. The best way I can describe it is by explaining how I go about my process. I put myself in the reader's shoes during my writing to help me flesh out a story. It's probably why I also can't do male readers because it's a perspective I can't confidently replicate. The same goes for child readers, I'm an old lady who has forgotten what those youthful days were like 😭 At least, this is how it feels with my writing method, idk

No Tcest, which also means no poly x reader stories. I don't think I need to explain this one

(This may be edited along the way subject to any changes that I deem necessary at the time)

Finally, may everyone have fun and enjoy themselves on this board! We're all just here to enjoy the spoils of creation 💚🫶

[kittygamer2888]

Kitty you are not letting anyone down!!! It’s ok to feel like that sometimes, but u should know it isnt true :< and dw idk how to describe how I feel either✋☠️ ur not alonee💖💖

U can take as long as you need to figure it out, its oka :D

Thanks, glad to hear I'm not entirely alone when it comes to these things.

Honestly, I just wish I could care a little less when it comes to uploads like in my yt channel. I haven't posted a video or community post in a while there and I feel just fine.

...I think it's because I'm starting to realize people here actually care about the things I do because I've always thought that no one really cared for what I post. And then that leads to me getting a bit too attached and.. well, I start to ramble on and on ;-;

That's basically the issue here.

It's always been me wanting to post about my OCs to see if other people found any interest into them. But uhm.. I guess as time went on and began to hate all of the old drawings that I did when I was little while also criticizing the hell out of my dumb little comics I always drew in my sketchbooks, it all felt embarrassing and just thought that people wouldn't care since the art style and characters looked ridiculous if I was to ever imagine myself as another person watching any of my characters.

I always thought people didn't care for any of my rambles or characters I made, so, I just told myself, like... what's the point? I still had the interest to at least get my OCs out there, but the thought of people not caring about it was still embedded in my head, so it shouldn't come off as a surprise if I saw no notes in an OC post that I would do.

Yea, I guess I've just lost hope a long time ago and I'm starting to realize some stuff, I guess..

Then that led to me thinking that everyone's stories and characters were far better than what I could do, so yea--

That's a mess. A real spaghetti knot right there.

(I want spaghetti now...)

[unleashedphoenix]

⭐✨💛 My OC Voice Claim Headcanon 💛✨⭐

Hi everyone! It's been a minute since I last posted, huh? Feeling a bit bored until I saw this trend on Twitter with everyone headcanoning a voice claim for their OC's, it looks fun and thought I give mine a go! I've posted it on Twitter as a preview (unfortunately, due to maximum video length)

It looks a little rough around the edges but I decided to post the full thing here anyway! For those who follow me here on Tumblr, you’ve probably have seen an old drawing of this OC around here through my tags. (and yet she still doesn’t have a name 😔)

However, for those who've come from Twitter (hello and welcome to my Tumblr page!) this here is one of my old art pieces of my OC, so it's not the final design, at the time I was merely sketching this to find my art style, but I might also revamp my drawings (and do more proper drawings of her as well) and make it look more polished but for now take this.

Aside from that, I've also curated a mood board that captures her overall general vibes and personality!

But in case you guys can't see what it says, here's a high quality version here. (link expired, so try here - V2: Here or the one down below)

Anyways, you guys came what you're here for! The voice I imagine my OC would sound like would be none other than Viola, from Bayonetta 3, sprinkled in with some Kenzie from Immortals of Aveum, both characters voiced from none other than the amazing Anna Brisbin, otherwise known online as BrizzyVoices! (You guys should definitely check out her VA stuff, she's absolutely underrated, so please go and support her!)

Side note: I kinda have the idea that my OC would sound a lot older with Kenzie's voice (or maybe the idea of her being a rebellious, anti-hero villain type character idk? could be great for a fun, personal AU thing) while she sounds slightly younger with Viola's - you'll understand once I post another take with Kenzie's voice)

Also please excuse the watermark, I had to use Filmora, because Davinci Resolve couldn't import the mp3 files for some reason!

Take 1:

Take 2:

Since I can't post another video here on Tumblr due to limitations, here's a link to another take of my OC with Kenzie's voice:

[angie-ashf3rn]

Should I start posting my art on here? I only just noticed I haven’t posted art in ages. I mostly draw Cat-ified Stranger Things right now, but there’d be occasional stuff abt my ocs!

I also have animations I made! They’re uploaded on YouTube rn, but I could always just post the videos, too!

ALSO I’m changing my URL to Angie_Ashf3rn since that’s my username. (It’s Angie-Ashf3rn on tumblr because the underscore doesn’t work) Idk why I picked the user AngieeArts-The-2nd, and it’s easier to keep track of everything if it’s under the same name.

Here’s a little Autumnwish! (Called Fallwish in her story.) Quick doodle of my sona :D

[namelessmewmew]

Old Art Archive Part 4.

Original captions under the cut.

First Three:

Title: Yeah this doesn't look the greatest. Tried to animate this a bit, didn't turn out great but didn't want to throw the hours of working on it away so here it is anyway. Need to draw this guy more...

Title: Nya Sticker. Lil Sticker/Pagedoll of Nya.

Title: Nameless the Persona. I have had a bunch of sonas before but always end up losing connection to them and making them ocs. He isn't so appealing as a character design like my previous sonas but feels alot more like me.Also its a more simple design so I can just doodle it easily. Might make the sketchy style I used here be a part of Nameless's design as he is meant to be a stickfigure ish thing.

Next Two:

Title: Bunny guy and Dog guy. Got of a bunch of old characters that I stopped using [or just never uploaded in the first place] because I just keep making alot of species that were just like cats but or so forth but I'm now merging alot of those into one species of [sometimes] vaguely animal guys. Magical girl Mascot type [sometimes] vaguely animal guys. Though they able to change forms so are not always little animal guys [Human, Anthro, Standard like above etc, which is just because I like making shapeshifting/form changing characters] and their species name is just Magiese [literally just Magical in Afrikaans]. This particular Magiese is Peribit [Peridot + Rabbit because I like explaining things and puns] and is a close friend of Nya.  Another Magiese, this one is Woofberry [Pun on Wolfberries which are a real thing, though they are themed after Blueberries Design wise] and is a close friend of Nya.

Geode/Pink Gem Cat:

Old oc I made when I was 13/14, missed her alot so trying to redesign her a bit, took elements from her most recent design before this and a much older one. Like how its coming along so far but might change it a bit. Her old name is Gemey, probably would go for Geode? as a new name.... with Gemey as a nickname. Might do more of this where I show redesigns with their old designs. Old art in the back are vectors, which is what I did solely for the first few years of me doing digital art, I don't do them much anymore. Been drawing drawing digitally since like only 2020, which I if I remember correctly was because my old laptop broke and then the new pc I got couldn't handle my vectoring program after a while. [and well now I'm out of practice and like how I draw stuff from scratch now rather than reusing assets] but I do miss using them for stuff like character references/concepts or simple gifs cause they made that alot easier. or just even one off non-reused vectors. Also miss how I actually drew hands [shit looking hands but still] regularly, or how I drew more varied facial expressions. Maybe I should get more back into vectors just for the sake of making art more interesting? varied? idk for me.

Art Dump 1:

1. Title: Just a pony 

I think this is my fourth ponysona? [fifth if I count a pride ponysona I made], modeled them after Nameless so that it hopefully prevent me from turning him into an oc lol. Alicorn cause my original ponysona was one, he can be the Princess of just being a some guy.

Oh and also my mental and physical heath is still not the greatest right now but better than last time I posted..

2. Title: Edgy cat 2 electric boogaloo idk man

Yeah, redesigned the Nya recolour design from earlier today. Though did keep them looking a bit like Nya cause I want them to be one of Nya's cousins. Though not sure what their theme should be, most of Nya's family have food themed designs so maybe licorice? red velvet? idk

3. Title: Edgy cat

Mental and Physical heath hasn't been doing so great [as well as just starting uni which is exciting but also very stressful] and I have no clue when I may start feeling better so will probs post a bit of rough doodly stuff. Originally was meant to be Nya but with edgy colours but now I want to make them their own character [though change their design at least a bit to not just be a nya recolour]

Put some hearts in bg cause its valentines day

4. Title: Anything looks cool in front of an explosion right?

Like drawing Nya just chilling but want to draw more lore-y related stuff of them so here is them using their main spell that causes a very hot sparkly explosion. Probably would call the spell like Glittering Sunblaze or something.

Rest of Post:

Title: Alien cat? Alien cat. Old character I haven't drawn in years that I have been wanting to redesign, they still have that cool eye on their chest its just under the bow now. [Original/Last drawing of them is what's in the top left corner.

Title: Three for the price of one. Thought I should be doing these old ocs redesigns in batches of three or five or more instead of individually. Though that would just mean I wouldn't upload this as often because redesigning multiple characters at the same time takes longer obvs. Old art/designs shown on the sides because I like comparing how they look now vs. how they used to look. Kara and Bery are sibs, going to do their other siblings and some friends of theirs next. Zephyr is Kara's and Geode's [might change that name] Wife.

Title:  It's a me! Yo! Sorry for the bit of a upload drought. Been very busy with uni plus a big [big for me at least] project that I hopefully will have done at the most in the next two weeks. This may or may not appear in said project :] Also new username! Casanova-mew -> NamelessMewMew.

Not feeling bad, just feeling weird. I don’t know why but when I feel weird I like drawing eyes.

Title: Chibi Robo Cat. Busy with uni, very tired, yada yada not drawing much lately so have a redesign of a very old character of mine. Used a different type of shading than usual [like how shiny it looks], plus a Chibi style [this character doesn’t have this proportions]. Also really like the bg makes me think of seeing lights at night without my glasses.

Title:  [BRIGHT COLOURS] Glowing from within. Redesign of an unsold adopt, also more playing around with shiny/very bright shading. Might make some more ’experimental’ stuff like this.

Title: The Grim Baker. What do you do if you're a Grim Reaper but also have had a life long dream of opening a bakery? You open a bakery with spooky treats to get the spirits [and possibly other forms of the undead] that you are obligated to guide to afterlife to come to you of course! Finished up a week old wip, I'm on a roll I guess [probably won't last long] Originally the ribbons were not going to be transparent but didn't want what I drew under it to go to waste, it actually makes it look more ghostly. Also its jam not blood on their scythe :], as they have separate scythes for baking and you know Grim Reaping.

Title: Lil vector thing in csp. Testing out csp's trial [used a vector tool for this] it seems pretty cool [the comic making tools, its animation tools and a endless amount of user made brushes are very tempting and more robust than what can be done with sai] but has a much more of a steep learning curve than paint tool sai, especially with its interface, which is alot more complicated than paint tool sai's. Hopefully will be able to pick it up when it goes on sale late this year like it usually does.

Title: The sunset's looking for its cat. Fooling around more with csp, originally this had full vector lineart but despite how rough this looks it looks alot better without it. Don't feel like making multi day stuff stuff right now/ Maybe I need to make experimental not so great stuff for a while idk. Maybe also use csp's 3d models and such to practice anatomy stuff as I keep trying to but just end getting to overwhelmed with how much their is to learn I always end up stopping so maybe just looking and models and mapping out shapes and such myself might work [and maybe post them as batches of doodles/rough stuff if said 3d model resource creator is cool with it]

[inkyu]

More art? :<

my inbox is just filled with you begging for more art and that's my #1 motivation to work on something right now while school is still in session

anyways here's Allos (idc that the fingers look off i'm giving up on some anatomy at this point)

I'm gonna rant about him sense I feel like I should start doing that if I want to become an OC blog

anyways while I rant even though no one asked for it! *hide the rant behind a readmore*

This is Allos, he's from Backyards Thursdays that I am semi-working on (I am currently working on Collideists right now but I feel like making a single page and then uploading them to whatever and like................ idk I'm still deciding on stuff)

Back on topic!

He's some sort of fish creature seadweller thing that came from the fantasy universe after his Earth blew up. He was one of the lucky few who were chosen by "The Collector" to be apart of The Collector's new world (that acts sorta like minecraft just a little funfact) his world and two others all are collected into this one infinite earth where they can do whatever they want whenever they want

His magic is just controlling water and anything water based......................... yeah that's basically it

Oh yeah and his favorite foods are anything fish related! (I had to do it)

He's also apart of "The Collected" group but I haven't fully fleshed out that mess yet sense this story is kinda all jumbled up at the moment

[wolfofartblock]

Just wanted to post bc I wanted to put my thoughts somewhere??

Top: Ilyas, Marcus Middle: Sunny Bottom: Nikita, Cecil

First off though, some of the art above is a little old and the little personality boxes were just stuff I thought fit most to their personalities and attached bc I didn't feel like typing out a more accurate description of them.

But anyways. I'm making this game and like the 4 people in the corners are the love interests but the one at the top right I'm just getting bored with?? I used to love this character but now I dread writing his scenes and the only other guy character I have ready is even more boring, but at least that is purposeful.

I'm mostly just wondering if I should suck it up and keep going or should I scrap him entirely and come up with a new character? I'm mostly just worried that if I try to continue with him the scenes will reflect my lack of interest in him

Under the cut: OC stuff I haven't posted here >:3

I had another picture I wanted to upload but my computer crapped out in the middle of me making this post! Idk what happened but the file got all fucked up so no sketches of all his piercings v.v

Anyways thank you for gazing upon my ocs v.v

[letoscrawls]

Hiiiii

I hope you're doing well!

I would like to ask if u have and advise about starting and art account on insta. I have a small one here on tumblr but people say insta is better for art accs. So I just create an account and start posting? Or do I promote myself in some way, maybe taking dtiys and other challenges?

Thanks in advance:D

Hi! thank you so much for checking on me! :) 

okay, i get this question quite often and i wish i could give you solid advice, but the problem with instagram right now is its algorithm. when i started my account it wasn’t that fucked up, so i don’t really know how it is for new artists who have just started their accounts now! but i can tell you that it really affected every artist, even the bigger ones, so please keep that in mind. if you “fail” to reach your audience it’s not your fault, instagram is literally sabotaging artists and i don’t know for how long it’ll be “the best platform for art”. so just to warn all of you, i don’t want you to compromise your mental health for a social platform that makes money out of our stress and insecurities, i’ll try to share what i think could work because sharing art can be really rewarding and shouldn’t be an ordeal so i’d be happy to help somehow!!!!!

so this is the “algorithm tricks” part: 

when i first opened ig, i remember my stories were viewed by at least 100 people for the first two days even though i had less than 10 followers, so i think that’s instagram way to encourage you to keep posting, so my first advice would be to post your art in the stories too, at least for the first week or something?? now, i know the algorithm is currently promoting reels, so if you’re skilled with those go for it! make videos of your creating process and stuff like that. it’s important to inform your followers when you make a new post bc the chances of it being noticed are higher, you have to do the work bc ig won’t show that post to most of your audience (did i mention that i hate whoever made this algorithm?? yes??) i’m not really sure about this but i think ig prefers the reels you make with their set of editing tools instead of just uploading a pre saved video (i think it’s their way to sabotage those who post their tiktoks), i’ve never tried them so i don’t really know what they’re like, but i’m pretty sure tiktok is way better. i read somewhere that IGTV aren’t ig big thing anymore, so i don’t think you’d get much engagement from them. in general i’d say to always promote your posts in your stories and to wait at least an hour before editing a post bc i think you’ll lose engagement if you edit it right after posting (i know, it’s so stupid).

the use of hashtags is the only thing that i approve, because it’s an helpful tool made by social media before it got so bad and they really help you to reach more people (that’s like their purpose, i just wish there weren’t dozens of other stupid rules to follow in order to be noticed besides hashtags). so using tags like “art”, “artists on instagram” and “daily art” along with tags related to the pic you posted (like the name of the character or the fandom etc) is really helpful, just don’t use unrelated tags bc it’s annoying and idk how convenient it is :P the last thing is promoting your posts by using the sponsored feature; i never used that because i’d rather eat a slug than give money to instagram, but if you have the possibility and you are okay with that then you could try!

now for the “artsy” part

artists have found many ways to bypass the algorithm and keep the community alive over the years, challenges are probably the best way to do so! dtiys are awesome, not only they help you get more recognition, but they also make artists incredibly happy! i should host one very soon myself, i’m looking for a pose and an outfit to draw one of my ocs in, hopefully you’ll see it soon! i cannot explain how happy it makes me to see people draw a character of mine, and it’s great to see them in so many different styles, so i highly recommend dtiys! usually the artists who host them post the entries in their stories too, so yeah, you should definitely try those! there are other challenges like art vs artist, memes etc, it’s incredible how creative the community is despite all! and lastly, draw fan art! contributing to a fandom with your art is so cool, personally i prefer it over original content most of the time, i feel the need to share my point of view and to let out all the idiotic thoughts i have when i consume some kind of media so i’m really biased, but every artist is different, so don’t force yourself to do something if you don’t feel like doing it! drawing something you don’t particularly enjoy because you want to get recognition is gonna make you burnout REALLY BAD, trust me, i personally think that passion>effort, so never forget to put your enjoyment first!!!! 

okay this took me a while and i hope it was helpful! good luck!!! i definitely forgot something dskfjhis

[moderndayshinigami]

So turns out I have about 230,000 words written in a single story for my OC Melody... And I've posted maybe 12% of that... I'm seriously debating just putting up my drafts here and seeing what happens.

Idk. It's weird to have a whole world built and morphed around her and be the only one who knows about it. But at the same time... What if no one likes her? Or even notices?

Anyway... I guess I'll start with chapter 1...

Here's Winged Victory, Part 1

Get out of the way!" He heard as he gazed out over the city. He turned to see a blur streak past him and off the ledge, catapulting into the free air. His reflexes were faster than his mind; he jumped after her, catching her by the ankle before he knew what he was doing.

"What are you doing!" She shrieked in English as he pulled her to his chest. Her arms found their way around under his arms as he braced for impact with the ground. There was a jerk and a grunt from her and suddenly they were in the air, climbing higher than the roof they had lept from.

"What the-" he shouted over the wind roaring in his ears. Looking up he saw brilliant wings fluttering in the up draft.

"Why did you jump after me!" The young woman yelled, grimacing as she tried to readjust her grip. He shouted something in Japanese. She shook her head at him.

"English?"

"Why did you jump!" He shouted back, wrapping his arms around her to take part of the strain. She was scanning the ground, obviously looking for a place to land.

"Um, wings! And again, why did you follow?" She yelled, wings faltering to keep them both up

"I didn't see any wings, I thought you were jumping to your death!" He yelled back, glancing around for some familiar landmark.

"So you decided you'd come too? Is that why you were up there?" She asked, dropping a couple feet.

"No! I can handle a landing like that! There! That helipad should work!" He pointed, one arm easily holding her close to him.

"Great! I'm going to drop you! On three! One... Two, three!" She let him fall the last twenty feet to the rooftop. He rolled, springing up to watch her circle around and land gracefully. He looked her over; she was short, but muscular. Her eyes were dark and watchful, two toned hair pulled back in a long braid, glorious wings spread in warning, nearly a fifteen foot span. She watched him, as he straightened from the roll, taking in his overly muscled physique, long blonde hair, and tanned skin. He held up his hands in a placating way, trying to ease her apprehension.

"Lets try this again. I am All Might, a hero!" He laughed, hands on hips, trademark smile flashing. Her wings twitched and she gave him a skeptical look.

"All Might? Right. I'm Valkyrie. Yo_tuber, from America," she said, folding her wings in until they shimmered out of view. He blinked.

"That's a pretty amazing quirk," he said, taking a step closer, her eyes narrowed.

"Thanks. Look, All Might. Thanks for the flight, but I'm going to go now-"

There was a booming crash in the street below.

"Shit!" They said in unison, running to the edge of the building to see a cloud of smoke rising from a shop across the street.

"Need a lift?" She asked, glancing up at the big man beside her.

"Nah, I can land that,"

"Suit yourself," she shrugged, stepping up and over the edge, wings suddenly appearing to glide down. He smirked, waiting for her to land and look back up at him before following, landing dramatically. She rolled her eyes and turned to the civilian whose shop blew up.

"What happened," she asked, All Might jogging up behind her. The civilian spoke to All Might.

"He robbed them, a big guy, looked like a shark. They don't know which way he went," he translated.

"Don't worry! We'll get your stuff back!" She said, backing into the middle of the street, "Stand back!"

She looked up, raising an arm and a leg and flapped her wings, exploding into the air. She went up almost level with the building tops and hovered. Her huge wings stirred up the dust on the street below.

"I see him! Two blocks over one block down!" She shouted to All Might. He stepped away from the panicked civilians and lept into the air where she indicated. Sure enough, he was there, running away pushing people out of his path. He shoved through a group of school girls, knocking one into the road.

"I got her! You get him!" Valkyrie yelled, shooting toward the prone girl. He watched as she dived weaving around a truck to scoop up the girl and land safely before he landed himself just in front of the villain, turning and posing. His smile became more intimidating as the villain stopped dead in his tracks.

"Your dastardly deeds shall not go unpunished! Why? Because I am here!" He laughed, grabbing the villain by the upper arms and holding him two feet off the ground. Moments later the police arrived, an ambulance and the press in tow. The schoolgirl was delivered to the paramedics and the criminal turned over to the police. All Might and Valkyrie turned to the press.

"Will you two be working together?"

"All Might, what's it like working with an American?"

"Valkyrie! How long you planning on staying in Japan?"

"Valkyrie, Are you going to take up more hero work along with your vlogging career?"

"All Might! Are you two dating?"

"No, we just met. I'm only here for the Yo_Tube Tokyo Blast fundraiser, and probably not going to be adding hero work to my channel. Thank you! I'll upload more info later today! Byebye, catch you on the fly!" She shouted over the reporters, throwing up a peace sign and a wink before taking off. All Might watched her rise above the rooftops before streaking off.

"I must also go! Stay safe!" He shouted, leaping after her. She was several blocks ahead of him already.

"Hey! Wait up!" He yelled. She glanced behind her, wings billowing out to slow her progress. She slid back to match his speed, following him down to a nearby park. She swooped around him and landed softly next to him.

"Yes?" She asked, folding away her wings and crossing her arms. He blinked a couple times, trying to regain his composure.

"You were amazing! You're not a hero?" He asked. She blinked and blushed, looking away.

"I- no, no I'm not a hero. I help when I can, but I'm mostly a small time internet celebrity. Makeup tutorials and how to's on prop building mostly," she muttered, pulling on her braid. "That's adorable," All Might thought, watching her play with her hair.

"Well, if you ever wanted to be a hero, look me up. I could pull a couple strings to get you into my agency," He said, scratching the back of his neck, glancing up from the ground. She blushed again before straightening her shirt. She held out her hand.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind" she smiled. All Might took her small hand in his.

"I guess I'll see your around," he mumbled.

"Yeah-," she paused

"Do you--never mind." He started

"Hmm?" She looked up at him, hands still linked. He cleared his throat.

"Do you want to go grab a coffee or something?" He asked, blushing behind his smile.

"Oh, um. I actually need to--"

"Oh. It's fine-"

"Go- but,"

"Yes?"

"You know what? It can wait. Coffee would be amazing," she decided. All Might's smile grew by a few teeth.

"I know just the place!" He announced, pulling her with him. She laughed and followed, changing the handshake to a better grip, twining her pinky between his index and middle finger. All Might blushed harder.

[sindumpster]

What is your feelings on people getting offended for you? A YouTuber I watch posted a video that had a joke in it that came off phobic to me. He took down the video and re-uploaded it with the joke remove, saying that it can off in a way he didn't intended, but people pointed out they got what he meant and the only people getting offended were people getting offended for others.

Idk, I think it’s really situationally dependent? Sometimes you just wanna revise part of something you made because it just doesn’t represent things the way you want it to. Maybe you are worried that it could be seen as offensive, or you think it’s not worth keeping, or that it doesn’t really add anything of value.

I mean, have you ever posted something that you immediately spotted an error in? Or came back to a post with a clearer mind, and noticed the way you phrased something kinda makes you cringe now? I’ve literally reposted art over a few stray pixels or cuz I wanted to adjust the opacity by 1%. Literally shit no one would care about or notice but me, yet I didn’t like it. And it was my decision to fix it. Sometimes it’s fairly innocuous stuff that no one would really shit bricks over, but I personally don’t like it. And people can blame the thought police if they want, it’s still not why I did it.

Tho if you mean stuff like “cis person decides what I, as a trans person, should find offensive” then yeah, I’m gonna not like that. I don’t think anyone likes complete strangers speaking for them, especially strangers who are not part of a collective experience yet feel a weird need to speak for it.

But like, this is just my opinion. I still don’t know what the real context of this is, the people involved, etc. Which I don’t need to know, but still...I’m a kink and OC blog. I could be totally off base here. I say stupid shit all the time lol.

———

That said, I’m tempted to start a policy where if you’re gonna send me a morality ask, ya gotta send me something kink or character related to offset it. Like, obviously I have no issue answering these, but out of the blue hypothetical questions like these are the only thing I get nowadays, and damn I’d really appreciate this level of thought put into something I can draw a response to. Wouldn’t mind a 50/50 split either.

[jksmoongf]

Kissing Fire [pt. 11]

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x girlfriend (oc) Genre: cheater!AU, angst, smut Wordcount: 11.4k Warning: smut, lies, heartbreak and more lies and maybe fluff if you squint

Summary: It always feels like there is only one person in the world to love. And then you find somebody else.

a/n: I don’t condone cheating on your s.o., so please don’t read if you have a problem with this! (also I’m not saying this is something Jungkook would actually do!) **a/n: thank you for your patience, angels! 💗 It’s been a while and I hope anyone still reads this <3 (also idk what happened to the og upload but it was kinda weird -.-)  I’m also dedicating this chapter to my sweet @struggleofarmy​!!! You helped me so much and without you, I probably wouldn’t have finished it! thank you for everything! 💗 ily  Warning chapter 11: none, it’s just an angsty mess!!! (profanities, maybe?)

Jungkook closed the microwave door on the leftover food; her eyes glued to his pretty face as his lips puckered into a kissy-shape, trying to set the temperature and the time before pressing the start button. He turned around, locking eyes with her. “We have exactly 3 minutes and 45 seconds.” He wiggled his brows but a strange feeling of embarrassment washed over her, making her cheeks flush that he caught her staring. “Noona, do I have something on my face?” Jungkook mused, mouth curving upwards into a smile. Shaking her head no, she hoped the color would soon disappear from her face. “So where were we before you said you were hungry?” He closed the distance between them quickly, trapping her between his body and the counter. The warmth that radiated off him as his face got closer and closer with every blink, made her feel all fuzzy as his fingertips gently trailed up her arms, over her shoulders and up her neck until he cupped her face. The pads of his thumbs softly caressing her skin when his lips ghosted over her own. She knew this was supposed to be a sweet and tender moment shared between just the two of them but she just couldn’t help herself.  She crashed her lips onto Jungkook’s; feeling the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth while she so desperately tried to get a taste of him. Her hands tangled in his messy dark hair, pulling him closer to her as their tongues gently nestled against each other. He sighed into her mouth when her fingers gently scratched over his scalp. Maybe, just maybe, they could ditch the food and go back to his room for a little while and just indulge in a heavy make-out session where she was sure he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself for more than a few seconds. 

But the repeated beeping of the microwave made them separate sooner than expected.

With a groan, she blindly reached for her phone next to the pillow where she had placed it after being on FaceTime with Jungkook just hours ago. She knew that in the morning, she would regret not listening to him when he repeatedly told her to sleep and get plenty of rest before work. 

But talking to him was so much more important than sleeping; she just loved listening to him talk about his day, especially after an exciting event like the night before. Sometimes, it scared her that he was often surrounded by pretty girls who were a lot more talented than she was; leaving her to wonder why he had chosen her instead of someone who perfectly understood all his struggles. But at the end of the night he called her to whisper sleepy I love you’s or FaceTime until they both fell asleep. 

[Jungkook - 4:12am] 

Ah noona, I already miss you! Sleep well and have a good day at work! Text me whenever you can! Can’t wait to see you when your shift is over! I love you (∩˃o˂∩)♡

Her grip tightened around the phone, pressing it to her chest, she kicked her legs and muffled a squeal into the plush bunny he had given her. Jungkook was always so sweet; he must have known how happy it would make her to be waking up to a text from him but after reading the text over and over, her eyes darted to the time on top of the screen. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” She cursed under her breath, trying to free herself from the confinement of the two blankets and the robe she was wearing. In a hurry she put on her work uniform and got ready to leave, running just a few minutes late. 

Shoving the last bite of a banana into her mouth; she put on her denim jacket before slipping on her black patent-leather shoes with the small dainty gold buckle. 

As if the devil himself was chasing her down the street, she ran as fast as she could to catch her train to Hongdae and just in time she squeezed through the door right as it was about close, the hem of her skirt almost getting caught. 

She leaned against the door on the opposite side, catching a glimpse of her reflection. The wind had caused a few strands of hair to get loose, making her bun look messy. While trying to tuck the hair back to where it belonged, she pulled out her phone, finally having enough time to reply to Jungkook. 

[y/n - 10:33 am] 

I miss you too, Kookie! My shift ends at 6pm so I can come over after. I’ll bring food for you and the boys! Just let me know what you want, you know I get a discount so don't hold back! I love you too! 

[y/n - 10:35M] 

Btw, I should have listened to you when you told me to sleep. I’m so tired but also so excited to see you later. I hope you slept well, baby! 

After locking the screen, she let her eyes wander around the cart. A group of teenage girls, all gathered around one phone caught her attention. 

“Is that really him? It can’t be.” One of them whispered-yelled, immediately covering her mouth with her hands after one of her friends slapped her arm and scolding her. 

“Of course it is him. It’s his voice and those are definitely his hands. Haven’t you seen the other one?” 

The vibration, signaling a new text, made her flinch at first but her heart started racing, only to be disappointed that it wasn’t Jungkook - just a coworker sending a meme to the group chat. Yet, she went back to his chat, carefully scanning the messages she had sent to him - they had not been delivered yet. Reminding herself that he sometimes put his phone on airplane mode so nobody would disturb his slumber. 

Four hours had passed and she was finally on her break, sitting in the small back room where they kept their personal belongings during shifts. 

Her heart sank when she saw that Jungkook still had not replied; it was unlike him to keep her waiting for so long. At this hour, he surely wouldn’t still be asleep, not when he had moaned about having to go to a company meeting today. Even her attempts at calling him were left unanswered; the calls going straight to voicemail. 

A whirlwind of panic started to stir up in her stomach; what if he changed his mind and didn’t want to see her anymore? The past few days had been so chaotic and draining that she couldn’t silence the small voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her that it was all too good to be true. 

Nails clicking on the screen; she hastily pulled up Taehyung’s chat. 

[y/n - 2:12pm] 

Tae (: do you know where Jungkookie is? I wanted to ask him about editing a pic for me but he’s not responding to my messages. I’ll see you later <3 

“Y/n, Myung-Jun hyung says your lunch is ready! Come eat.” With a sigh, she followed her coworker to the kitchen, sitting down at the small table for the restaurant staff. It was odd that she was so worried about Jungkook not replying, but the uneasy feeling that something wasn’t right anchored itself in her chest. 

Halfheartedly she picked at the food in front of her; maybe she was overreacting and Jungkook had just forgotten to turn airplane mode off or he left in a rush, leaving his phone at the dorms. Either way, she had her mind set on checking up on him after her shift. 

* 

Jungkook’s bare feet made the floor creek as he entered the living room, the hushed conversations he had faintly been hearing on his way, immediately died down. His brothers looking at him like he was a species from a different planet, not one of them looking happy to see him. 

“Sit.” Yoongi gestured towards a chair from the kitchen table that they had put out, just for him apparently - making him feel like he was a police interrogation. “Management will be here any minute now.” 

Jungkook gave a small nod, sitting down on the wooden chair. He knew the heating was on but the room seemed to be freezing cold when no warm laughter filled the air and every single one of the member's faces seemed to be laced with concern. 

“Can I have my phone back?” His eyes were focused on the electronic device on the coffee table, still not understanding why they took it from him to begin with. He just wanted to see if y/n had texted him; maybe talk to her on the phone for a bit during her break- longing to hear her voice and the sweet coos of his nickname. Not talking to her for almost seven hours, seemed like torture to him now that they were finally able to be together and be happy.  

“No, we were told not to give it to you.” Seokjin said calmly, his index finger tapping on the armrest of the sofa in a familiar rhythm. 

Letting out a frustrated groan, Jungkook rolled his eyes. 

“You know I’m not a kid anymore, you can’t just take my stuff from me like you’re my parents.” His bottom lip jutted out into a small pout; contradicting his previous statement perfectly. 

“Oh, it is very apparent that you’re not a kid anymore…” Hoseok scoffed under his breath but before Jungkook could answer, he heard the front door open and manager Sejin’s voice echoed from the hallway. 

“Change the code and then join us in the living room.” 

Jungkook always admired how tall his favorite manager was but the grim expression on his face made his usual soft eyes, dark and a little scary. “Perfect, you’re all here.” 

“Taehyung is in his room. I’ll go get him.” Jimin jumped over the back of the sofa and rushed down the corridor. 

“Then we’ll wait.” Sejin sat down next to Namjoon, who had been too wrapped up in his thoughts to pay any attention to the things that were happening around him, only snapping out of his thoughts momentarily to mumble a greeting. 

Jimin knocked on the door, only seconds later Ha-na’s muffled voice indicated that it was okay for him to come in. At the sight of his best friend sitting cross-legged on the bed, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve, his heart cramped up painfully. 

Ha-na had her arm wrapped around her boyfriend’s shoulders, holding his left hand tightly in her own, whispering softly in his ear. 

“Management is here to talk to Jungkookie, Sejin-nim wants you to come, too.” He said quietly, when the younger one looked up with puffy eyes, the tip of his nose red from crying. 

“I don’t want to…I just want to stay here…” He was about to lie down and pull the duvet over his body when Ha-na stopped him. 

“I’ll come with you and if it gets too much, we can just go back to your room, okay, baby?” She said softly, cupping his face, to dim the flow of tears for a second with her thumbs. 

“Ha-na, I’m sorry but you can’t come. It’s just…” 

She nodded. “No, I get it. Just the group and management.” Pulling Taehyung to his feet, she grabbed Jimin’s wrist. “Just go with Jimin-ah, he’ll make sure you’re doing alright.” 

“Of course I will.” Jimin gently took Taehyung’s much larger hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze. 

“But I don’t wanna see him…” The hurt in his voice made Jimin’s eyes tear up. A few hours earlier when he had found out from Hoseok what had happened during the night, he knew that Taehyung would take it the hardest - two of the people he was closest to, had been shamelessly lying to his face for months, completely shattering every ounce of trust he used to have in them. 

“You can just look at me the entire time, okay?” Ruffling his hair, he finally managed to pull Tae into the living room, where the air felt suffocatingly thick, making it hard to take deep breaths. 

“Hyung,” Jungkook addressed Tae who looked like he had been crying. “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” 

Did something happen to Taehyung? Why had he been crying? Jungkook just didn’t understand what was happening; why was nobody telling him why they all looked so worried? 

Finally, Sejin cleared his throat - he was sitting closest to Jungkook, resting his elbows on his knees. 

“All of you know why we are here…” He addressed the room, while the other members silently nodded, the youngest vehemently shook his head, making the manager adjust his position to face him. 

“I’m not here to tell you what to do, the boss wants to speak to you tomorrow in person about all of this. I’m just here to inform you of the next steps we’re going to take.” 

“For goodness sake, what have I done?” He asked, feeling the blood in his veins starting to boil out of frustration of being left in the dark. 

“You didn’t tell him?” 

“N-no, we thought it would be best if you told him…” Namjoon said quietly, not making eye contact with Jungkook, who so desperately needed comfort and reassuring from his older brother. 

The leader’s demeanor worried him, Namjoon was usually the first to speak up about any concerns he had - never afraid to voice what was going on in his head to his members. Now that he was keeping quiet; buried underneath a smothering mountain of thoughts, he wasn’t able to handle the situation like he always did. 

“Jungkook-ah..” Sejin pulled out his phone, tapping on the screen a few times before handing it to him. “That is you, correct?” 

Jungkook’s body turned to stone, his insides twisted in an abundance of knots, uncertain whether he would ever be able to untie them again. Heart hammering against his ribcage; his vision got blurry as he stared at the phone, watching the video he filmed in that hotel room. His own moans blaring from the tiny speaker, repulsed him, forcing bile up his esophagus. 

“Jungkook! Ya!” Hoseok snapped his fingers, trying to get the youngest attention when the next video started playing. 

“I-I-… h-how?” He muttered, watching himself go down on y/n. 

“We don’t know. We have people trying to take the videos down and find out who put them on the internet.” Sejin took the phone from him. 

“Once it’s on the internet, you will never be able to take them all down.” Yoongi shook his head, habitually picking at the skin of this thumb. 

“Jungkook what were you thinking taking those videos? You know how important your image is. Why would you risk it all?” 

“Looks like he wasn’t doing much thinking at all...all the blood his brain needed to make a rational decision was a little further down south...” It seemed like a lighthearted comment, masked a joke but Jungkook knew that Hoseok indeed wasn’t messing around. 

He tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat but it just wouldn’t go down. 

“I-It was just supposed to be between me and…” For a second, Taehyung’s eyes met his and he just couldn’t bring himself to say her name out loud. 

Now he finally knew why one of his best friends had been crying; he had to find out from strangers on the internet that two of his best friends had been slowly ramming a knife into his back. He watched as Jimin pulled Taehyung to his chest, who looked like he was about to burst into tears again. 

“Jungkook…” 

His brain was slowing down tremendously, not able to form an articulate sentence that would explain the whole situation. 

“So you and y/n thought it would be a good idea to take those videos for what reason?” Sejin folded his arms, eyeing the youngest intently over the rims of his glasses. 

“Y/n…” He breathed out her name. “How is she? Is she okay? Has anyone talked to her?” Jumping up from the chair, he frantically looked at the other members who suddenly found their knees oddly interesting. “I have to go. I have to talk to her and make sure, she’s okay.” 

“Sit down! You’re not going anywhere! The press is waiting outside, it’s been all over the news this morning!” 

“W-what?” He slumped down in the chair, his fingers harshly pulling at his own hair. “I have to check on y/n…” 

“I’m sorry, Jungkook but that’s not possible.” 

“At least let me text her.” He pleaded, tears brimming in his eyes. 

“You can’t do that either. We had a meeting in the morning and we can’t let you see her or talk to her again. This concerns the whole group, we cannot risk any more damage to your image. The fans are freaking out, the press is trying to dig up more dirt while asking the company for a statement regarding the videos. You made a whole mess. What were you thinking?” 

Jungkook kept quiet under the drilling eyes of the seven men around him. If they reported about it on the news then he was sure his family had seen it too and were worried about him or worse; they had to carry the burden of being ashamed of their son. But he had to push those feelings on the back burner for now. 

“I-I wasn’t… it’s just something we did sometimes when we were together.” 

“Wait, what about Yina?” Jin chimed in, looking more confused now that the truth was out in the open. 

“I broke up with her a few days ago because I love…love y/n.” Subconsciously his fingers started picking at the little fuzz on his cheek, harder than he had ever done it before. Saying it out loud to the people who had always cared for him so deeply, felt so wrong under these circumstances. He wanted them to know that being with her wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. That he didn’t just break up with Yina because y/n seemed more exciting and new - he truly loved her but he felt like they wouldn’t understand. 

“When did this all start?” 

He focused his eyes on the floor, his ears were feeling hot and redness crept up his face. He didn’t want to tell them, he didn’t want them to know what he had done without any of them knowing. The last thing he wanted was for them to find out and change the way they looked at him. They always doted on him, making sure he was okay and felt loved from a very young age, and he had betrayed them all; the six boys who raised him. Jungkook didn’t want them to think that they failed because he made poor choices along the way. 

“Answer the question.” Taehyung’s voice was cold, sending shivers down his spine. 

Trying to buy a little more time; he cleared his throat. 

“I don’t know the exact date…but it’s been months” He whispered, guilt numbing his senses - at this moment he knew that everything would change; they wouldn’t take care of him anymore, they wouldn’t make sure he was tucked in and had enough to eat during the day. He wasn’t a baby anymore and certainly not the shy teenager they had all grown to love so much.  

Telling them made him feel awful like someone had punched him repeatedly in the stomach. 

He couldn’t bear the thought of looking at them; their disappointment erecting itself in front of him like a monster that was about to swallow him whole.

Taehyung stood up, his shaking hands balled into fists. 

“You disgust me. You two deserve each other.” Pushing past Yoongi, he tried to leave the room but Jungkook jumped up from his seat - he had to fix things, he couldn’t just let him walk out without at least trying to make amends.  

“Hyung, please I’m so sorry. Please forgi-..” He tried reaching for the older one’s arm but he crudely swatted his hand away. 

“Do.Not.Touch.Me.” His deep voice was laced with venom, Jungkook’s bottom lip quivered when their eyes met, not being used to the tone that was filled with so much disgust, disappointment and hurt. He could see all the pain and anger Taehyung was feeling from being lied to that he just wanted to beg for forgiveness but it was too late. 

“Do I have to listen to this shit or can I go?” He turned to face their manager. 

“Ya! Taehyungie, don’t swear.” Hoseok immediately disciplined his younger brother but he was ignored. 

“Can I go or not?” Taehyung’s eyes were focused on Sejin, who took a deep breath before nodding. “Thanks.” His footsteps echoed loudly in Jungkook’s ears as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Quickly he wiped it away with a shaking hand; knowing that he had just lost one of his best friends - there was nothing he could say or do that would repair the damage their friendship had suffered. 

“So what happens now?” Jimin asked quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously, the future of the group uncertain. 

“Not sure yet.” Sejin furrowed his brows. “We can’t just ignore it and hope for it to go away. We’ll have to wait and see what is being decided on before we make any rushed decisions. But for now, you’ll all have to lay low, especially you.” He looked at the youngest, who looked pitiful in his spot on the chair. “And that means that you will have to cut all ties with y/n.” 

Jungkook shook his head; he wasn’t going to leave her, not after everything they had been through together. Not after fighting his inner demons for months to finally be with her, to only have it all taken away from him way too soon. 

“Kook, don’t be stubborn! That’s what is best for the group. Do you want all of them to suffer just because you’re being selfish and want to be with a girl? There’s plenty of girls out there, you’ll find another girlfriend in the future.” 

He kept quiet, he didn’t have it in him to argue because they wouldn’t understand that he didn’t want anyone else, he wanted her. 

“So for now, all codes have been changed and I’m asking all of you to change passwords on your devices as well, just as a precaution. Don’t give out your numbers, we will be changing those as well over the next few days. Security will be increased and we will always have one of the managers here until this all blows over. I know, this is inconvenient but we have to get in control of the situation.” After addressing all of them, he turned to Jungkook again. “I’ll be picking you up at 9 tomorrow morning, the boss will be back from his business trip then.” 

“Fine. Can I go to my room now?” Jungkook sounded poutier than he had intended but maybe he could message y/n over on her Instagram to check on her. 

“No, but what you can do, is get your laptop so you can change all your passwords. I’m sorry but one of us will have to monitor you, Jungkook.” 

He sighed in defeat, slowly dragging his feet towards his room. 

Last night had been perfect, they won awards and talking to y/n for hours had been the best ending to the night; he just couldn’t believe that all the good things that finally started happening again, were now overshadowed by someone leaking those videos. He had cherished those videos, they were dear to his heart because it reminded him of one of the reasons why he loved her so much - he never knew what she would do next, it was exciting to be in love with her and he was missing her now more than ever before. 

* 

Carrying two bags of food and bottles of soju was more strenuous than she had expected. For a brief moment, she sat them both down to wipe her forehead with the back of her hand before readjusting her mask - the pollution had gotten worse during the day. 

As she made her way around the corner, the street was filled with cars and reporters with their mics and cameras ready. Some were trying to talk to one of the security guards which there were many, more than usual. 

“Ah, y/n.” The security guard she hadn’t seen since she came here drunk that one night greeted her happily “Bringing over some food, I see.” He closed his eyes, trying to sniff out what she was carrying in the bags. 

“Yeah, I just finished work.” She bowed her head. 

“I’m sure, they’ll appreciate it. They weren’t able to leave all day with the press blocking the way.” 

“I can see that…” She trailed off, letting her eyes wander over the crowd. “Am I allowed to go in?” 

“Sure, I haven’t heard otherwise.” She signed her name, as usual, and with a slight bow she continued her journey, walking up the hill to the building.

The increased amount of security made her feel uneasy, feeling like she was being watched every step of the way.

“What do you want?” A man in a suit spat at her before she could even open the door. 

“I-I’m just dropping off food for my friends…” Her voice was shaking, making the security guy eye her suspiciously as if she was hiding a weapon in one of the bags. 

“And your ‘friends’ know you’re coming?” He raised an eyebrow; she had a feeling that he was about to tackle her to the ground when the regular security guard from the lobby appeared by his side. 

“It’s okay, I know her. She’s allowed to come in.” 

“Thank you.” She whispered, keeping her head low as she walked past the grim-looking man. 

“Crazy day today.” He mused, laying out two lists for her to sign. 

“Why two lists?” 

“One is for us and one is for them…” He nodded in the direction of the men in suits. “I also have to make a copy of your ID for them. They want to keep track of who is entering the building.” 

“That’s fine.” She smiled awkwardly when handing him her card. All those men looking at her like she had done something wrong, made her feel on edge. One of them even followed her into the elevator, not letting her out of his sight until he confirmed with the security on the designated floor that she was allowed to be up here. 

She tried entering the code but the all too familiar click of the lock didn’t happen. 

Setting the bags down, she tried again. “6-8-1-4-2-7.” She muttered to remind herself of the combination but the small blinking red light told her it wasn’t right. 

“Why isn’t it working?” Angrily she stomped her foot in annoyance before knocking on the door impatiently. 

A set of footsteps indicated that someone was coming from the other side; she bent down to pick up the bags as the door swung open. 

“Finally, did you change the code? I tried to…oh.” She looked up, being faced with the stern look of one of the managers. Hastily she bowed as low as she could without dropping anything. “I’m sorry, hello.” 

But he didn’t reply, still just looking at her as if he tried to remember if he had seen her before. 

“You need to leave.” His voice was strict, only fueling her confusion. 

“But I just got here…” 

“Doesn’t matter. You have to go and you cannot come back here.” 

“I don’t understand, what’s going on? Why am I not allowed to see my friends?” 

“Do yourself a favor and just go. Don’t cause a scene. Please, leave.” 

*

Jungkook was lazily scrolling through his emails when suddenly one caught his eye. 

“I got an email that someone logged into my iCloud.” He mumbled, making Hoseok and Jimin look up from their phones. 

“Didn't you get the notification on your phone?” 

“No…but my phone did ask me to log in again, oddly enough.” 

“Hm technology is weird like that sometimes.” Hobi mumbled. “But it’s still kind of odd and you should definitely let someone know so they can look into it.” 

"It was on the day I broke up with…” His eyes scanned the mail. “But the login happened hours before.” 

“Do you think it was Yina?” Jimin’s eyes were wide in shock. “But how could she have known before you talked to her?” 

Jungkook’s teeth dug deep into the soft flesh of his lip - Jimin’s words had struck a nerve.

He had wondered before how she had known where she would find him and y/n. How did she find out? He didn’t make the first move, she had already been there when he came back to the room. 

“It says it was in Gangnam…not far away then.” Fingers kneading his chin, nails puncturing his skin, he tried to recall everything that had happened that day. 

He had talked to Ha-na and Jimin after practice, remembering how worried y/n had been before they arranged to meet. He had met Yina in the hallway further away from the practice room, near his studio but there was nothing that would have given him away, there had been no sign that she was upset when he saw her that day. 

“I don’t think it was her; I know her, she wouldn’t do something like that.” 

“You can’t be sure about that, Jungkook. She was hurt and maybe that was her way of seeking revenge after you broke her heart.” 

He swallowed hard at Hoseok’s words; as much as he wanted to believe that Yina wouldn’t do this, his brother was right. He brutally ripped out her heart and smashed it into a million pieces. It would only be fair for her to do something equally as bad to him and make him suffer. 

He was wishing that there was a way he could get in contact with her, but he was sure that she wouldn’t want to speak to him anyway, not after everything he had put her through.  

“Let the managers know, they can look into it.” 

He nodded when a sudden knock on the door caught his attention. 

“I’ll get it.” Their manager left the kitchen, where he was making a grocery list for a company employee to stuck up the supplies. 

“We should order some food, I’m starving.” Jimin groaned, stretching out his arms before rubbing his tummy with a tortured expression on his face. “What do you want to eat? We’ll let you pick Kookie since your day is pretty shit.” 

The black-haired boy scoffed. “Thanks but I don’t really feel like eating…” 

“Jungkook-ah you need to eat.” 

“But I’m not-…” He went quiet, the familiar voice of y/n faintly reaching his ears. “Am I dreaming?” He whispered but his brothers both shook their heads, not moving an inch to avoid making any noise. 

“I don’t understand, what’s going on?” Instantly his eyes filled with tears, his heart cracked; she sounded so lost and confused. Too weak to fight the urge, he slowly got up from the couch, fully prepared to Naruto-run past his manager to finally hold her in his arms again. Everything would be so much easier to handle if she was around; they would just go through it together like they always did. Nothing could come between them, not his boss or managers, not his hyungs or even the fans; they were destined to be together and he was willing to fight anyone who tried to keep him away from her. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I have to see her…” 

“Jk! No!” Hobi grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down. 

“Please, please, please!” He begged his older brother, trying to persuade him to let him go but he just wouldn’t let go of his wrist, the pressure making his skin tingle. 

Hoseok looked at the maknae squirming, trying to wrench his arm from his grasp - his big doe eyes were swimming in tears again, lips quivering trying to hold back from throwing a tantrum. 

His heart hurt for his little brother, as much as he condemned his actions and the mess he got them into, he could tell how badly he needed her and deeply in love he was - Jungkook never begged for anything and him begging to see her was all that he needed to ever so lightly loosen the hold he had on his wrist. 

“You heard her, hyung! She doesn’t even know what’s happening. I just want to see her, please let me go see her so I can explain it to her. She needs to hear it from me. Please…” Jungkook’s weak voice gave out when he looked up, Taehyung was standing in the doorway, tears streaming down his cheeks at the desperate pleading of his best friend outside the apartment and the manager’s strict orders for her to leave. 

“Taehyung-ah.” Jimin leaned over the back of the couch to take his hand, wanting his best friend to know that he wasn’t alone and could seek comfort with him whenever he needed to but before he accomplished his mission, the younger boy had run back down the corridor, slamming the door to his room shut. seeking the comforting arms of his girlfriend. 

Only seconds later, Sejin walked into the living room holding two big bags in each hand. 

“Here’s some food, can’t let you starve while you’re basically locked in here.” He patted Jungkook’s shoulder, whose face showed no emotion, in order to prevent the breakdown he felt building up inside his chest. Blinking the tears away, his pupils dilated as they scanned the bags on the table. “Y/n brought food over…” 

“What?” Hoseok asked, who was already busy pulling all the takeout boxes out to place them neatly on the table for the members to grab. 

“Nothing, hyung.” He stood up but didn’t move, eyes still resting on the logo on the bag. 

“Funny, it’s all your favorite foods, Jungkookie.” The older boy mused as he inspected the contents of yet another container. 

“Yeah, funny. I’ll go get the others.” But he didn’t, instead, he made his way to small bathroom, tightly locking the door behind him. Sitting down on the floor, he pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. 

He didn’t want to cry but the tears kept prodding at the corners of his eyes; her voice still echoing in his mind. She didn’t know what happened, and no one cared enough to tell her; they just cut her off and forced him to do the same. Jungkook didn’t care much about his image at this point, he didn’t care that people had watched those videos - they all had made up their mind about him anyway. All he wanted now was to protect her, to make sure she was okay. 

“I’ll have to find a way to talk to her…” He mumbled, resting his forehead against his knees while his fingers traced the engraved silver plate on his wrist. He wouldn’t give up so easily, even if it got him into more trouble. 

* 

“Take more, there’s plenty left. Tae needs to eat.” Jimin placed another box on top of the two Ha-na was already holding. 

“No, no! I’ll come to get more if we’re still hungry.” She gave the boys a weak smile before heading back to her boyfriend’s room. He refused to leave it, not wanting to see Jungkook sitting amongst the others like a sad little puppy after committing the ultimate betrayal. 

Ha-na closed the door with her foot, eyeing her boyfriend as he laid on the bed, hugging his body pillow extra tight, face buried in the tear-stained fabric. 

“Tae, I have some food.” She set the boxes down on the small table while he slowly moved into an upright position to inspect the boxes. 

“I don’t want it.” He said, lying back down instantly and turning his back towards her. Earlier this morning, he had been a lot more vocal about his pain, giving it a lot more room to breathe. But now he was in a phase where he’d cry and then start mumbling angrily, sometimes boxing the mattress. She pulled the chopsticks from her pocket, taking a seat next to him. 

“And why not?” 

“Read the fucking label on the box.” 

“Choi Go Zip and what is that supposed to tell me?” Ha-na tilted her head in confusion, pushing her bangs from her eyes with the back of her hand. “Somebody from the staff went and got food for all of us. Tae, baby - I know you’re hurting right now but we’re all trying our best in this situation.” 

He turned to lay on his back, a scowl playing on his lips. “It’s where y/n works, no staff member went to get the food for us.” 

“How do you know?” 

“She was here, I heard her talking to Sejin when I went to get water.” 

“What?!” Her voice was high pitched, making her boyfriend flinch. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Yes, it does. Did you talk to her?” Taehyung shook his head, crossing his arms over his face. 

“No, I didn’t.” He tried hard to sound cold, pretending like he didn’t care but his trembling lips were giving him away.

“Why not?” 

“I-I couldn’t stand the thought of looking at her.” 

“Oh Tae.” Ha-na laid down next to him, wrapping her arm tightly around his waist. “I know she fucked up, but she is still your best friend. You can’t just leave her hanging like this, baby.” 

He shook his head, more tears rolling down his cheeks. “What she did…it’s not what friends do. As far as I’m concerned, she’s not my friend anymore.” 

Pulling herself up a little, she pressed soft kisses to his cheeks. “I know, you don’t really mean that.” 

“She lied to me, Ha-na” He blubbered, turning his body around in her embrace to bury his face against her chest. “They both did. For months.” 

Her fingers gently played with his hair, trying to calm him down, his whole body shaking from the overwhelming amount of emotions that were rushing through him. 

“Tae, I told you weeks ago that there was something between them..”  She paused, trying to choose her next words very carefully. “Baby your heart is too big for your own good, you always want to believe that people are good, especially your friends. You’re the opposite of the grinch, you feel too much.” 

He chuckled against her skin, the vibrations of his deep voice giving her goosebumps.

“You know there will come a time when you’ll need your best friend, nobody can replace her. You have been friends since you were little kids, so please baby, take all the time you need to heal but don’t write her off just yet.” 

He didn’t say anything, only inhaling shakingly. She knew he was being stubborn out of anger; being lied to by the people you trust is heartbreaking but he needed time, time to process and sort through his feelings - eventually he would come around, he loved y/n too much to just drop the friend who had stuck by his side for so many years. But then again, she wasn’t going to force him to talk to her if he didn’t feel ready to face her, he would know when the time was right to take a step towards mending the broken friendship. 

 “How am I supposed to ever trust them again?” He croaked; her arms around him tightening, afraid she might crush him. 

“Baby I don’t know and you won’t know until you decide you’re ready to speak to them.”

Ha-na opened her eyes, taking a few seconds to realize that she had fallen asleep trying to comfort her boyfriend, who was now sleeping soundly snuggled up against her side. Irritated by the repeated buzzing noise coming from the nightstand, she blindly reached for the phone - it was Taehyung’s. She pressed the home button, a picture of herself staring back at her that he had taken by the river a few weeks ago. 

y/n - 8 missed calls 

y/n - 13 messages Maybe it was wrong and maybe he would be mad at her for doing this but she quickly entered his passcode to unlock the phone and check the unread messages. 

[y/n - 7:05pm] Tae, what’s going on? Why did your manager sent me away and told me to not come to the dorms anymore? Can you please tell me? Because I don’t understand. 7:45pm Why aren’t you answering me? Are you mad at me? If I did something, can you please tell me?

9:27pm Taehyung? Please talk to me?  Ha-na had read enough, feeling bad for the girl she had harbored a lot of bad feelings towards the past weeks when the phone vibrated in her hand again. 

Now you’re leaving me on read? What have I done? 

She put down Tae’s phone and picked up her own from the side of the bed. She was aware that Taehyung would feel betrayed when he found out what she was about to do but she just wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she kept quiet - leaving y/n in the dark like the rest of them.  

[Ha-na - 10:38pm] Y/n, it was me! I read your texts. Can you meet me at Jamwon Hangang Park? At the spot where we took you on your first weekend in Seoul. I’ll explain everything to you. 

Carefully she climbed out of bed, making sure Tae was tucked in and hugging his pillow, hoping he wouldn’t wake up while she was gone. 

On her way out she passed by Jungkook’s room, through the closed door she could hear a sad song playing, every once in awhile sobs reached her ears. Her heart wrenched in pain; the little one was suffering from the consequences just as much as everyone else. Sometimes Jungkook could be a little naive but he had a good heart and a good head on his shoulders; despite his previous actions. With a sigh, she left the apartment and was greeted with the fluorescent lights in the hallway and a bunch of security guards.

“Where are you going?” One of them inquired. 

“Not that it is any of your business but I couldn’t sleep so I’m taking a walk.” To Ha-na’s surprise, he nodded, marking her as absent on a list. 

“Be safe, Miss.” He bowed his head, making space for her to get to the elevator.

It was odd to be surrounded by so many people that were just making sure no fans or press would get inside the building; normally the community was a safe place, people couldn’t just get in but BigHit didn’t seem to believe that people weren’t going to try to get in at any cost, whether it was bribing guards or climbing over fences. 

Quickly she walked up the stairs that would lead her onto the second level and to the exit closest to her destination. 

Ha-na got to the park earlier than expected, for a while she sat on one of the yellow stones by the water, the cool air comfortably expanding in her lungs and clearing her head after being cooped up in Taehyung’s room all day. 

This morning when she woke up, she had not expected the day to completely turn upside down the way it did. And although she had taken care of Taehyung all day, she couldn’t possibly fantom how any of the boys were feeling. 

Sure, it was hard to see her boyfriend so upset, but not knowing how the whole situation would turn out for them was emotionally draining and nerve-wracking. A feeling of helplessness stirred up inside of her; she really wanted to do something to help but every single idea that popped into her head seemed silly when she gave it a second thought. 

Occasionally during the day, she had checked social media just to see what people were saying, and it wasn’t good. She just wanted all of them to stay off the internet while this was going down; the mean and degrading comments towards Jungkook would hurt all of them - he was still their little brother who they loved and adored. 

Something told her that she wasn’t the only one thinking that it might have been Yina, who somehow got a hold of these videos and published them to make Jungkook pay for cheating on her for months on end. There was no denying that it sounded reasonable but Ha-na had a gut feeling that this wasn’t the case - Yina once had been someone she would spend time with, especially when the boys were away, and the girl never struck her as someone with malicious intentions; her love for Jungkook was pure - she had not been in it to gain something from him or the people he knew. She pulled her phone from her pocket - she just had to try, maybe this was the one thing she could do to help. 

[Ha-na - 11:16pm] 

Yina, I hope you’re doing okay, giving the circumstances! I’m sure, you’ve seen what’s happening. I just wanted to ask if you had anything to do with this? I won’t tell anyone, I just need to know. 

She puffed up her cheeks; she probably wouldn’t get an answer but she just had to stay positive. No matter what Jungkook had done to her, she knew that deep down Yina was a good person, who might have just acted on an impulse out of anger. 

Slowly Ha-na got up, letting her eyes wander up and down the little winding pathway for bikes before crossing it to sit on the bench where she and Tae had taken y/n on her first weekend in Seoul to eat chicken and drink beer while watching the lights of Banpo Bridge. Why did everything have to change? A few months ago things were perfect, everyone was so happy and now careers were ruined and relationships were breaking apart, trust was lost and too many tears were being shed. 

* 

It was dark and cold; the wind blowing in her face made her eyes tear up but she had to keep running. Her footsteps echoed loudly on the pavement, as she finally reached the part of the park where the poppy’s bloomed in spring. 

“Not far…” Stopping for a few seconds, she rested her hands on her knees, panting heavily. “Just keep going…” Sharply sucking in a breath, she sprinted the rest of the way, where she spotted Ha-na sitting on a bench near the riverbank, lost in thought. 

“Sorry, I had to sneak out, my brother was still awake.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Ha-na’s smile was weak, in the darkness the worry that was painted all over her face, made her look incredibly tired. “Come sit.” She patted down on the spot next to her. 

“Ha-na…” Almost eerily her name left her mouth, facing her best friend’s girlfriend. “What’s going on? I’m so confused…yesterday everything was fine and now, nobody is talking to me anymore.” 

“You really don’t know, huh?” 

“Know what?” 

“Haven’t you watched the news or were you online at all today?” 

She shook her head. “No, I was at work and when I got home, I had to make dinner for my brother and I was kind of preoccupied with being worried about why Jungkook isn’t speaking to me.” 

“Y/n…” Ha-na took the inside of her cheek in-between her teeth, letting her eyes wander over the black water of Han River, taking a little while to decide on how to say what she had to tell her. “Someone, we don’t know who… leaked videos of you and Jungkook…” 

“What? What videos? Did someone follow us?” Her heart crashed from her chest down into her stomach, chortling awkwardly in the abyss. 

“No, the videos you two filmed having sex…” 

All the color disappeared from her face; the contents of her stomach wanting to force its way out of her mouth. “No..no…this can't be happening.” Her nails dug into her scalp. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry but that’s why Jungkook isn’t talking to you.” Carefully she rested her hand on the other girl’s thigh. “They confiscated his phone and he’s not allowed to contact you. They want to avoid the press finding out more or worse seeing you together.”

“Is he okay?” 

“He’s very upset that he can’t see you..” She trailed off, keeping her eyes on the girl next to her, who went silent as tears dripped down her cheeks. 

Wrapping her arms loosely around herself, she just stared at her knees wishing that the tears would stop but they didn’t.

“Ha-na, I-I don't know how all of this started…Taehyung introduced me and I was just…head over heels from the start. It was like I didn’t have to search anymore…I found my soulmate…” 

Ha-na tilted her head, brows furrowing together; Jungkook had used similar words before to describe how he felt when he saw her. Maybe there was a chance that they both instantly felt a deep connection that couldn’t be explained. 

“I really tried to stay away from him, I swear. I didn’t want to get between him and his girlfriend and I know I should have waited until he broke up with her but I was so in love that I just stopped caring about what’s right. I just wanted to be with him and that was all that mattered to me. He promised me so many times that he would break up with her and although he never kept any of them, I still believed him because I just love him so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I didn’t care that it hurt me as long as I had him. I can’t even tell you why we filmed those videos, I know it was stupid but it was all we had when we couldn’t be together and I was the one who initiated it. So it’s all my fault that he is in trouble.” Her hand balled into a fist, before repeatedly hitting against her forehead. “I’m so stupid, I should have known better… stupid, stupid, stupid.” She whined over and over with each word increasing the force of her hand. 

“Hey, y/n. Stop that.” Ha-na pulled on her arm, trying to prevent her from hurting herself. “We all know what you two did was wrong but people do stupid things all the time. We can’t turn back time, the damage is done- all we can do now is try to fix th-” 

“Tae knows, doesn’t he? That’s why he’s not talking to me.” She blurted out, interrupting Ha-na mid-sentence like she didn’t even listen to any of the words that left her mouth. “I know I was doing something really bad when I had to start lying to my best friend. Oh god.” 

“Yes, he knows now and he is really hurt and angry with you, not just with you, with Jungkook too.” She explained, her fingers lacing with y/n’s. “But I’m sure, he will forgive you. You know Tae, he can be stubborn when he gets into his head too much but he always comes around.” 

For a little while Ha-na just let her cry, she now had to process what everyone else had tried to do all day. 

“Ha-na…” She hiccuped, wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her jacket. “Do you think I can talk to the company and tell them that I will take all the blame? I’ll tell them that I took one of the videos without him knowing and made him take the second one. I’ll just lie and say I lost my phone and the person who found it, did that to us. I don’t want Jungkook to be upset. It’s all my fault.”

“He would never let you do that, y/n.” 

“I know but if you don’t tell him, I can just do it in the morning. I’ll go there right now and wait for someone to show up.” 

“And what good would that do, hm?” Ha-na chuckled at the ridiculousness of her words, waiting for an answer but she came up short. “The company is taking care of it. They have people trying to find who did this. You can’t take the fall for it when both of you are responsible.” 

“But he worked so hard and I’ve ruined it all.” 

Ha-na turned around, grabbing harshly onto her shoulders to force y/n to look at her. “You haven’t ruined it all, stop saying that. If he didn’t want to film those videos, he wouldn’t have done it. Jungkook is not a baby, he knew what you guys were doing was reckless and so unbelievably stupid. Let the company deal with it, in a week nobody will be talking about it; another scandal will pop up and people will forget that Jungkook is a normal human being who has a sex-life. It’s not the end of the world, it will all be fine.” Ha-na heard the words leaving her mouth, but it felt like someone else was saying them. Everything inside her was screaming that it wouldn’t be so easy; that it wouldn’t be forgotten in a week but her heart couldn’t handle seeing the girl in front of her falling apart and wanting to make irrational decisions to protect the boy she loved. 

Ha-na checked her phone; it was almost 2 in the morning - tomorrow would be another long day. She stood, facing y/n where their ways would part for the night. 

“Promise me, you’ll stay off the internet for a while and take care of yourself.” 

Y/n gave her a weak smile. “I promise and you’ll text me if anything happens.” 

“Of course, I’ll tell you all about Kookie’s day.” She winked, hugging her extra tight. 

“Tell him that I love him, okay?” 

“I will.” Watching as she walked away, Ha-na couldn’t shake the bad feeling that was trying gnaw its way into her mind. Y/n was smiling through the pain, trying to be strong because breaking down wasn’t going to make the situation any easier. 

Ha-na reached the dorm a little later, after enduring endless security procedures before she could finally get back into bed. Some of the reporters were still prowling the streets around the fenced-in community, hoping they would find any more dirt on the matter. 

Slipping off her shoes in the entryway, she quietly tiptoed through the apartment. 

“Is he still awake?” She muttered under her breath when she stopped in front of Jungkook’s room, the crack from underneath the door indicating that the lights were still on as well as the music but the sobs had subsided. Quietly she opened the door to find the youngest sleeping on his bed. 

“Wasting all this energy.” Shaking her head, she switched off the ceiling light, before turning off the Bluetooth speaker on his nightstand; deciding she’d leave on the fairy lights above the headboard. 

Jungkook’s face was puffy from crying himself to sleep, the pillowcase still stained with tears, making her heart feel heavy. She had just wanted for him to do the right thing and now that he had finally done it, karma was lashing out at him - taking away the things he loved. He talked about soulmates and so did y/n, but Ha-na was a strong believer in people getting what they deserved yet she wasn’t sure if karma wasn’t being too harsh on the young boy with the big doe eyes. 

She pulled the duvet over his sleeping form, gently stroking his hair as his lashes fluttered at her touch. 

“Get some rest, little one.” She whispered, his lips parting in an o-shape as he sighed contently. “Everything will be okay, y/n still loves you.” 

* 

Yoongi and the others were sitting at the kitchen table, talking and drinking wine to forget how bad their day had been. The maknae had disappeared into his room after talking to their boss in the morning, wanting to be alone - sending away anyone who tried to comfort him. 

“I will never understand, why they thought it was a good idea to film themselves having sex…” Hoseok took a big gulp from his glass. “I thought we taught Jungkookie better than this.”  

The leader sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingertips. “They were kissing fire and now we all got burned.” 

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jimin asked while pouring more wine for his older brothers. 

“I mean, they knew what they were doing was dangerous, -maybe that’s why it was so enticing to them but neither of them stopped to think about the consequences and now we all have to pay. Whether it’s Taehyung being incredibly hurt by his friends lying to him or our image forever being tarnished because of those videos. We all will have to deal with the consequences of someone leaking it. From now on, we will have to be extra careful to ensure our privacy.” 

“Who do you think leaked the video?” Jimin was looking at all of them curiously. 

“Yina, obviously.” The oldest replied. “Jungkook was cheating on her for months.” 

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, getting cheated on is the worst. I wouldn’t even be mad at her if she did it. If I were in her shoes, I would’ve done the same.” 

“All of you should be ashamed! Gossiping like teenage girls.” Ha-na scoffed suddenly, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“And you should be ashamed because eavesdropping isn’t nice.” 

“I wasn’t but it’s good to know that you think it was Yina when it wasn’t her.” 

“How would you know?” Jin had a sour expression on his face. 

“Because apparently, I’m the only one who thought of asking her.” 

“You talked to Yina?” Jimin stood up so suddenly that his chair tipped over, forcing Yoongi to catch it before it hit the floor. 

“I did and it wasn’t her.”

“And you really believe her?” 

Yoongi waved his hand, silently telling Jimin to be quiet so Ha-na could speak. 

“Yes, she told me she logged into Jungkook’s iCloud to get the proof she needed that he was cheating on her but she did not save the videos nor did she post them online. She said she was too humiliated; she didn’t want anyone to know that her boyfriend cheated on her.” 

“Makes sense…” 

Ha-na shrugged, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. “We all have brains, sometimes it’s good to use it so it doesn’t get rusty.” Sticking her tongue out, she nudged Jin’s shoulder on her way back. 

It was getting late and Yoongi was loading up the dishwasher before heading to bed himself. 

“I’ll never volunteer to do this again.” He quickly wiped a few water stains off the counter before throwing the kitchen towel next to the sink in defeat. 

He let his gaze wander around the room before switching the light off, the cold floor making him shiver and wanting to get into his warm, comfy bed as soon as possible when he suddenly heard a knock on the door. 

“It’s almost midnight, who….” Yoongi trailed off, waddling to check who had managed to get past security at this hour. 

Suspiciously, he opened the door just a bit to see y/n standing there, her shoulders hanging low, eyes swimming in an ocean of tears. 

“Y/n, you know I cannot let you in, I’m so sorry.” Saying those words made him feel awful, her lips quivering dangerously. 

“Can I at least speak to Taehyung?” 

“He doesn’t want to see you right now…” His voice was straining as he denied the girl any form of communication with the two people she needed the most right now. 

“Can I see Jungkook? Please, Yoongi, just for a minute…” He wasn’t sure if his tired eyes were playing tricks on him but he swore he saw tears falling from her eyes and hitting the marble tiles. 

“I-he will get into trouble if management finds out…” 

“You’re right, I don’t want to cause any more trouble for him than I already have.” She let out a choked sob, turning around to leave and Yoongi knew that he was about to do something stupid. 

Seeing her being just as shaken up as his little brother was too much for him. He had doubted their love; he didn’t believe in soulmates - he did not think this relationship had a real future after hearing bits and pieces from Jimin. But his heart broke for the girl who so desperately wanted to see the boy she loved that she found a way past security in the middle of the night just to see him. 

“Y/n, wait…” He said, stepping away from the door. “Go see him. I don’t know you’re here and I did not open the door for you.” 

“Thank you.” She bowed, closing the door behind her. 

Yoongi watched her walk up to Jungkook’s room, knocking a few times before he finally opened the door. His eyes grew wide and a gasp escaped his mouth when he realized that it was her and not one of his members bothering him again. Almost instantly he reached for her arm, pulling her into his room; a smile tugged at Yoongi’s lips. Maybe had done the right thing after all. 

Jungkook slammed the door shut, his arms tightly wrapping around her- making sure she couldn’t just walk out, not when he needed to hold her so badly. It still felt like he was dreaming, he had lost count of how many times he had imagined seeing her in the last 48 hours. She nestled her face into his soft sweatshirt, inhaling his scent that always seemed to calm her fluttering heart. 

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away only to cup her face. Peppering soft kisses all over her cheeks to erase the tears that felt like acid against his swollen lips. 

“I miss you so much, baby.” He mumbled, his lips ghosting over hers, reuniting them in an innocent kiss. 

“I miss you too. Not being able to talk to you is the worst.” Her fingers helplessly dug into the soft fabric covering his chest. 

“I know…” Rubbing calming circles on her back - he didn’t want to spend the short amount of time they had crying but as much as he tried to hold it together, he couldn’t and neither did she. Uncontrollably the tears kept falling, mixing with sniffles and shallow breaths in between kisses. 

“I’m sorry, it’s all my fault this is happening.” 

“Noona, no! You know that’s not true.” 

“Yes, it is. If I didn’t…” She wept, looking up at him with so much hurt in her eyes that he felt his heart split in two. “It’s my fault…I made you take those videos..” She buried her face against his chest; Jungkook could feel each sob in his bones. 

“No one is blaming you! We’re in this together, baby, okay?” His arms locked around her torso as he pressed kisses on top of her head. He was clueless, he didn't know what to say to make her feel better when it all weighed heavy on his mind, preoccupying his every thought and draining every ounce of positivity from his body. There was no magical solution; Sejin had told him to just stick it out for now until people got bored but seeing her cry made it so much more difficult. He just wanted to do something; something that would make all the pain, all the headlines and tears go away so they could be together but there was nothing he could do, other than to hold her, to let her know he would never let her go - not even in the darkest of times. 

Suddenly, she pulled away to bring some distance between them. Avoiding his gaze, she focused on the fairy lights, her vision getting blurry. Ha-na had told her not to do anything stupid but she couldn’t help but think that maybe she was the cause of all of this. If she wasn’t in his life then he wouldn’t have to endure the mean comments being made; he would be happy and doing the things he loved without being worried and locked inside this apartment. 

She was ruining his career and everything he had worked for - if she wasn’t around things could go back to normal for him. She would be happy to see him happy, even if it was without her around. 

“Kookie…” His name fell almost inaudible from her lips. “Everything will be okay, right? Promise me you won’t let those people get to you.” 

Jungkook was taken aback, he didn’t quite know what she meant - his brain operating slowly from the lack of sleep and constantly working in overdrive. 

“Promise.” He attempted a weak smile to ease her worries but before he could say anything she turned around.

“I should get going before someone finds out I was here…” 

“No, please don’t go. Just stay the night.” 

“You know that’s not possible.” 

Slowly he followed her to the front door, where she finally looked at him with tears in her eyes. He wanted to reach out to hug and kiss her, not knowing when he would see her again but something stopped him. 

Her heart was wrenching in pain when she bowed to him. “Be well, Kookie! I hope you have a good life.” Carefully her hand slid into the pocket of her jacket, trembling fingers wrapping around the white gold bangle. 

“What?” He asked, panic making his pupils dilate. He didn’t understand - just moments ago she had told him that she missed him. What was happening? He wanted to stand in her way, stop her from leaving but he couldn’t move, his body had turned into stone. Unable to get any part of him to move, he just stood there like a statue even as she reached for his hand, placing the bracelet he had given to her on it. 

“Give this to someone who deserves it more than me.” His insides were screaming, nerves desperately tingling to set his legs in motion but it was too late - the door opened and closed. She was gone. His heart silently breaking in his chest; hot streams of tears cascading down his cheeks in disbelief. Where did this short visit go wrong or had it been her plan all along to come to see him and end their relationship when it had just begun? 

In trance, he walked through the pitch-black apartment and without knocking into the room where he knew he was still loved. Jimin was lying on his back, furiously hitting the buttons on his Nintendo Switch when Jungkook laid down beside him, burying his face in his older brother's side. “What’s wrong?”  “S-she broke up...” He couldn’t bring himself to say it because if he did then there was no going back - he would have lost his soulmate forever. 

Taking deep breaths, she hurried past the two security guards and into the stairwell. Cowering down in a corner, she covered her mouth to silence the sobs that were shaking her entire body. He would be better off without her; all those girls were right she was ruining his life and she wasn’t going to let that happen - after all; if you love someone you should set them free if you’re holding them back. 

[mcrmadness]

I still can't stop wondering why people don't like my comics so here we go again...

Do kids nowadays even read comics anymore? I mean that comics have always been a big part of my life, so much so that I wanted to be a comic book artist when I was younger. I drew my first own comics when I was about 9-10 years old (I haven't thrown any of those away ever).

My favorite of them all has always been Garfield and I've been a fan since I was a little kid. I also read Donald Duck a lot, actually I've wanted to buy the Finnish versions of Dona Rosa stories (they've been made into comic book albums) for some time now but I always forget about them.

Apart from those, I also "read" lots of Asterix as a kid - and watched the cartoons. Before I learnt to read, I used to just browse the pictures and from Asterix I have a few memories: often my dad would read the comics out loud to me and my siblings. I also had a big Asterix&Obelix cardboard poster on my door and I remember that it took me ages to realize that Asterix is not a child but just a small man. I just one day looked at it and was so disappointed when I realized him having moustache. I don't know how I suceeded at not seeing the mustache as a kid but I just remember being so disappointed that he was an ADULT. I wasn't too into the comics in the beginning but eventually was old enough to focus on them anyway.

I also owned one Rantanplan comi (I still have it) when I was a kid but I never really understood it. I think I was a teenager when I borrowed Lucky Luke comics from someone and understood the idea of them. Then I got a whole bunch of Lucky Luke and Rantanplan comics and now those are some of my favorites, especially the stories with Daltons and/or Rantanplan. Last summer I also found some Iznogoud comics from a market place, I had never read the comics (apparently there isn't even that many of them) but I used to watch the cartoon from tv so that's where I knew the characters.

So all this has affected my comic style and humour in comics a lot. I've always been into hilarious and funny comics, especially comic strips. I own some Batman comics etc. but those are always so difficult to get into. Mainly because I always have trouble telling characters apart from each other, but I like some of the stories a lot (e.g. The Killing Joke is damn good!) and I've been a Batman fan since I was 8 years old (thanks to the 60s Batman live-action series, I still love that one) altho I was maybe 17 or something when I bought my actual Batman comic book, just to give it a try. It has some original stories in it and it's one of my faves but because it's so old and only in black&white, I have so many problems keeping up with the stories as I never know who is who, unless it's clearly looking like one of the villains or (anti)heroes.

And now I started thinking about comics and how people do comics and I haven't really seen comics, that would kinda follow this old-school humorous style, anywhere anymore. Newspapers have tons of comics strips still today but most things that people upload to the internet are either longer comics or about mental health and such stuff, aka less funny overall. Or if not less funny, then just not in that certain category of comics that I so love and follow myself too.

I just wish I could come up with something original* myself too. I have maybe one original but it only works in English and I haven't posted it anywhere because I feel that it'd just go way over people's heads because it's again of that old-school comic humour and playing with puns. I might try posting it here eventually but idk, Tumblr is the worst what comes to comics. I have posted a few original comics here before already but hardly anyone seemed to notice them.

*By original I mean something else than fanart. I used to have OC's before but let's just say one of them worked when it was still the late 2000s but today it would not work at all; and the other one presented my old self and when I few years ago visited some old plans I had made about him, I wrote some long rant into the notebooks about why he is NOT what I originally had thought of him. But at least it helped me to see how strongly the heteronormativity was planted into my head too because all of my old comics were always about a guy falling for a girl. And after my own identity crises and such, I no longer wanted to have ANYTHING to do with such cheesy and annoying plots. I’m aroace myself but at the same time I cannot come up with an interesting aroace character because they should have something else to them and I can’t come up with anything interesting to draw about, so I have to stick to my fanart comics and self-comics, that don’t really interest anyone.

[tsukaramachi]

How's it going?

Mmm okay! I’ve been mostly on Toyhouse and learning more about it and how to organize my characters better (I also am doing other stuff on there not related to my ocs)

But uh an update about me is that I may have gotten carried away over the weekend and made 9 new characters haha ^^; (A bunch of them are part of a new world I’m making so they’re linked to my other stories. A bunch of them are the same species(?) as what Vincent and Amir are. Which are now called “Playmates” because they’re like their owner’s friends and they’re stuffed animals so I’m calling them that. But they live in world 4 since they’re separate from world 2) 

Also I think I made another yandere but idk yet if i should story wise

Here’s some sketches I did of some of them during school

1) Lulu (polar bear)       2) Medi (Jellyfish)        3) I don’t have a name for her yet :/ (Sea butterfly)

(This boy over here is Emory and he’s a sheep plushie)

If anyone is confused then feel free to look at my ToyHouse (but they’re not on there yet but a few others are)

Here’s the link!–> Tsu’s Toyhouse

(I’m planning on making more and uploading them onto TH when I’m free)

[atvie]

all of the artist ask meme because i can and i love you ;)

ilusm!!!!!!! i’m putting them beneath the cut cause.. Long.

🖍️ when did you start drawing? do you remember?  when i was born????? idk i have a huge memory lapse from a lot of my childhood so! i really don’t know, but i’ve been told i took to it pretty quickly

✏️ do you prefer traditional art or digital to relax?  traditional! but it’s hard cause it’s not as pretty / more stressful when i’m not using lined paper / when i’m using lined paper it makes it harder to upload / i can’t use cool colors (i’m terrified of using colors on real paper……) but!! idk it’s just kind of soothing

📏 what’s your go-to canvas size?  that’s been changing recently.. but either 900x900 or 2500x2580! and then just cropping near the end

☕ do you do warmup sketches before drawing? (bonus: do you have any to share?)  yeah! except they really are just. normal sketches i guess. they’re usually the ones that i end up not finishing even part of the face.. but i generally share All of my art (except the ones i’m really anxious about… see below) so i don’t really have. any to show except for.. uh. here)

🙃 which is easier: faces facing left, right, or front view?  front view?… out of those options. i’m just really bad with noses from the side, but generally i hate doing a perfect front view or side view… i like to kinda play round w it

📚 how many layers do you typically use?  80+? but when i use a bigger canvas it limits me at around 45, so then i start merging the ones im ok with. i just like having a lot so that it’s easier to clean up cause i’m paranoid (but i usually end up merging them a Lot towards the end)

🐻 your go-to things to draw when you need comfort?  people? i don’t really draw for comfort.. at least in the way that i think the question means. i basically only draw people anyway so. yeah. (that’s another thing i’m working on;;)

🎁 do you prefer drawing fandom stuff or your own characters?  my own characters……… but no one’s really interested in them? i mean i know my friends are and some of my mutuals but realistically y’all can’t be invested in them as much until i release the actual story? (or like with you, rubi, where you’ve met them through rp smgksd) so it’s kinda been .. boring? because i like showing them to people to make people happy and when it’s my character it really is just For Me. like…. a lot of the things i draw are for me, but often i think of ‘oh x mutual might like it if i drew their favorite character’ even if i don’t tag them in it……. but then, those are usually the ones i don’t post, because my standards raise hugely when it’s For someone. (like with you! i’ve drawn a lot of kaya, but it’s never Enough for me, so i only end up posting any of them for my own art progress.) also my friends’ ocs. but again it makes me p anxious

🌈 do you use more warm or cold colors?  warm!!!! cold colors scare me SMDGJS… even when i use cold colors i tend to use warm undertones (is that the word? idk)

🎼 your favorite music to draw to right now?  i have a playlist!! um but usually i like drawing best to bastille.. 21 pilots (yes i unironically like them), khalid!!!!!!, my chemical romance, AJR, marshmellow, alan walker, coldplay(?) and imagine dragons! just the kind of. mystical soothing tone? it’s hard for me to describe but it’s really good for background for me!! oh and lizzo, pentatonix & the greatest showman’s soundtrack are fun to draw to!!

🙌 draw a doodle with your non-dominant hand  i regret everything

📐 whats your favorite kinds of lines to draw?  i literally have. no idea what this means sry? fsdkfdf

💐 do your drawing suit your aesthetics?  no :/

🦋 do your drawings resemble you?  no..? not really i mean.., i’ve done self-portraits sometimes, but even then those are more.. my idealized self? cause atm i’m really….. self-conscious i guess,, so i don’t like looking at myself much To draw..

✨ how often do you draw?  whenever i can!!!!!!!!!! i doodle all of the time! though, recently i haven’t had paper to access, so i’ve brought my tablet around & drew on it!! it’s a lot easier to

🌗 is night or day better for drawing?  mmmm.,,, not really either? just whenever i feel like it, which is basically all of the time. nighttime is often worse though just cause i’m more tired / it’s harder to see

🍭 what’s your main art blog / what do you tag your art with?  this is it! and i usually tag it with ….. the most-used name of the character. other than that, i’m unreliable ;;; i try to do the fandom too um but i don’t have any specific tags? come to think of it .. i should probably make a tag for all of my art to go under…. but also i don’t want to look at my old art, even to add tags to the posts mkfsdjg 😔

🍀 you wish your art was more..(fill in the blank)  good???? sgsjdf i just really look up to a lot of artists (a lot of whom are my friends) and so it’s just. idk. i guess i wish my art was more well-rounded. like.. i’m getting good at faces and such through practice, but i don’t have .. basically any experience with backgrounds / animals / things like that. so it’d be nice to be able to draw what i imagine without problems.

🌊 what’s the hardest thing for you to draw?  animals, because i tend to make them hyperrealistic which doesn’t merge with the rest of the piece(s). ;;

🙊 share your latest silly doodle with no context

[melissenpai]

the best character creator

do u want to make characters but cant draw for shit or ur hands are tired of holding a pen?? have you ever raged at character creators bc they only have 10 hairstyles and 5 outfits??? fear no more because here’s Kisekae!!!

the models start like the default girl on the left, but w some effort you can make your husbando, cute gremlins, pokemon gijinka or whatever u want!!!

ok but, what is Kisekae?

Kisekae is a flash game/application that works mostly as a character creator, using a mix of interchangeable parts, bits you can move around freely, and lots of sliders to change sizes and positions. Think of it as the 2D version of the Sims/Spore creators.

ngl it started as a k-on hentai game back in like 2011?? there’s still k-on girls and lewd stuff around but the focus is far from it now.

HERE is the sfw link and HERE is the nsfw one. careful w the hentai ads. You can also download an offline version from the creator’s Enty site

IF U WANNA TRY IT OUT CLICK THE READ MORE FOR A SMOL TUTORIAL

so u wanna learn about the suffering that is kisekae?? dont listen to people who say it’s the lazy tool for people too lazy to draw just like drawing, you can make a quick sketch in 10 mins or spend 6 hours adding detail and makin sure everything is PERFECT

so after this disclaimer lets bring it on!!!! click on a link and wait for the randomly generated k-on ocs to load

maybe when you open it for the first time, the tabs look like this. THIS IS BAD it means it loaded on the easy mode.

click here to unlock the Expert mode. it sounds scary, but it’s actually been the default mode for years. now you should see a lot of tabs.

LETS TALK ABOUT THE IMPORTANT STUFF FIRST

SAVING.

This is the save tab. “SAVE” and “LOAD” save the entire scene in a .txt (all models, background, items etc). "Export” shows the codes of the selected models, so you can copy them and store them somewhere. You go to “Import” to paste codes and load characters. The small pencil button opens a window to save and load entire scenes in the app’s cookies. It’s very handy but you will lose everything if you clear your cookies. The last two buttons save or load ALL the data you have in the game, aka all the scenes you saved with the pencil button.

KISEKAE DOESNT HAVE AN UNDO BUTTON SO SAVE OFTEN IN CASE YOU MESS UP

TAKING PICTURES

fOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DARE TAKE SCREENSHOTS there’s a handy way to save better quality pics. First slider is the zoom. It’ll be your best friend to get closer and edit faces and hairstyles and details and such. See that 05/05? That’s the PNG quality, so make sure it’s always at 5/5. The squares button next to the PNG one will make the background transparent when you snap a picture. Very cool, bc kisekae backgrounds are kinda ugly. The icon on the far right lets you select a region of the screen that’s great too

STOP THE AHEGAO

Next. If you click on the model’s clothes you’ll notice they disappear and they get surprised. The automatic emotions were good when it was a porn game but to actually create content it’s just annoying idk why it still automatically loads like that tbh.

Anyway, go here to set the facial expressions to manual mode. The “Select/All” switch makes you edit all the models at the same time or just one.  (Note: as pochi adds more tabs, they can get moved around and be put in a different group. just keep looking thru the pages until you find the icon you want)

HAVE ONLY ONE MODEL

You’ll most likely don’t need all 9 models at the same time, so you can go here to deactivate them. tbh it’s placed in a really weird place... a year ago it wasnt as confusing idk why Pochi added this update :/

TIME TO HAVE FUN

My recommendation is clicking on everything to see what happens. That’s honestly the best way to learn how to use it. Instead of explaining how to make good looking stuff (i cant do that bc. there’s not a single way of “doing things right” this is artistic expression u do what u do) i’ll jsut give some tips and tricks

1. HOLD SPACE TO GO OVER THE LIMITS OF MOST SLIDERS. It works wonders. Make heads smaller, shoulders broader, eyes thinner, hair pieces larger, bend time and space with the unlimited power of space key.

2. HAIR PIECES ARE NOT HAIR PIECES. BELTS ARE NOT BELTS. RIBBONS ARE NOT RIBBONS. Think of them as shapes to make stuff. Use hair pieces to make capes. Use the lines in the facemark section to draw a new nose. Make entire pieces of clothing out of belts and ribbons. The only downside is that if you move the head, hair pieces and ribbons move with them so making clothes out of ribbons turns your characters into statues

3. CLICK ON CLOTHES TO CHANGE STUFF. If you click on some clothing pieces you can change some things like unbuttoning shirt buttons, opening sweaters, putting sunglasses on their head and removing parts of scarves.

4. THE DEFAULT PALETTE IS UGLY. please do use a custom one

5. YOU RAN OUT OF SLOTS? Use the free floating items on the 3rd set of tabs. You can have extra belts, ribbons, arms, furniture and speech bubbles. Even load external images. But keep in mind extra stuff is not attached to characters, so it won’t move around with them or save in their individual codes.

6. USE OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPORTS RESPONSIBLY. There are lots of people on deviantArt and the Pochi forums (official Kisekae forums) that make character, clothing or hairstyle exports for other people to load and use on their creations (like Sims mods!). However, most dA people have rules if you want to use them on something you upload, so make sure to read each user’s rules!

7. TECHNICALLY THERE ARE NO MALE, MUSCULAR OR BIG BODY TYPES. You can force it out, but we’ve been forever cursed with the hip size being linked to the leg size. So your guys will either have feminine hips or scrawny ass legs. There aren’t any muscle options apart from abs, and the most similar thing we have for chub is a pregnant looking belly. You can always edit it with photoshop later or suffer and make muscles and fat with belts and hairs.

Have fun suffering with Kisekae!!! Feel free to ask me questions on how to do X or Y, or request me to expand more information about stuff like what each tab does.

CLICK HERE FOR THE OFFICIAL GUIDE!! It does explain a bit what each tab does, and also explains the keyboard shortcuts. It’s in japanese, but nothing google translate can’t fix if you need it.